Massive Magazine Albany Issue 05 2020

Issue 05 Albany Love and other Drugs

The Love & Drugs Issue

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Managing Editor: Laura Macdonald editor@mawsa.org.nz 04 979 3765 Designer: Harry Weise massive@mawsa.org.nz 04 979 3765 Media Manager: Caitlin Barlow-Groome manager@mawsa.org.nz 04 979 3763 Staff Writers: Dani Molloy (Albany) Aryaman Parulkar (Manawatū) Tyler Hambleton (Wellington) Contributors: Erika Johnstone, Alisha McLennan, Tess Patrick Connie Sellers, Sana Rehman, James Mcinroy, Olivia Murrell Illustrator: Casey Sheard Artist Feature: Ari Hughes Front Cover: Casey Sheard. Altered by Massive.

Publisher: Massivemagazine.org.nz ISSN-2253-5918 (Print) ISSN-2253-5926 (Online). This publication is printed using environmentally friendly inks and paper, the paper which is FSC© certified and from responsible forests, is manufactured under ISO14001 Environmental Management Systems.

Massive Magazine is committed to reducing its environmental footprint.

DISCLAIMER: The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages of Massive Magazine do not necessarily represent those of Massey University, its staff, Albany Students’ Association (ASA), Massey University Students’ Association (MUSA), Massey at Wellington Students’ Association (MAWSA), Extramural Students’ Association, or the Massive editor. MAWSA is an independent organisation that publishes Massive. Send any queries or complaints directly to Massive at editor@mawsa.org.nz. Massive is subject to the New Zealand Press Council. If a complainant is not satisfied with the response from Massive, the complaint may be referred to the Press Council: info@presscouncil.org.nz or online via presscouncil.org.nz.

Massive Magazine | Issue 05

Contents 6-9

10-23

NEWS

FEATURES

Massive’s got the scoop on what’s happening on (and off) Massey campuses nationwide.

Front and centre, our features investigate and probe at the issues or topics of the moment. Have a gander.

24-27

28-31

ARTIST FEATURES

OPINION

In each issue we shine the spotlight on a talented student and their portfolio.

It could be you in the next issue!

This is the spot for all creative writing, thought pieces and anything else that makes you cock your head.

32-45 REGULARS The classics - The Unlonely Woman, Suffrage, Salivate, Blind Date and the rest all live on these back pages. We understand if you skip straight to them.

This Massive Magazine subject to NZ Media Council procedures. A complaint must first be directed in writing, within one month of publication, to the Massive Magazine email address. If not satisfied with the response, the complaint may be referred to the Media Council P O Box 10-879, The Terrace, Wellington 6143.

Or use the online complaint form at www. mediacouncil.org.nz

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Editorial

Trainspotting is my favourite film. I’m grossly fascinated by the psyche of a junkie.

How can anybody be that far gone?

I think to myself as Ewan dives into the shit encrusted loo. But it was probably after my sixth annual rewatch that I came to the cold realisation I’d probably gone to similar lengths to get a hit of my own.

With a string of failed relationships to my name, I had to begrudgingly admit I had my own drug addiction. Love is a molotov cocktail of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone, after all. When one partner rejected me and couldn’t maintain my desired serotonin levels (which are depleted at the best of times, cheers mental illness x) I was on the hunt for my next fix.

The withdrawals were the worst. I think I’d have a more positive reaction to dead babies crawling on my ceiling à la Trainspotting than I would to seeing an ex with a new girl and realising I wasn’t over him. Breakups gave me a newfound sympathy towards Mark Renton and his yoyoing between sobriety and near death.

But I’m now a recovered addict, at the point where if I was famous I’d probably appear smiling on an Australian Women’s Weekly cover, the headline reading, ‘Laura’s new lease on life!’

I’ve been nearly three months sober now and have no plans on caving any time soon.

I’ve realised I can get by without an IV line of male validation permanently attached to my arm; I’ve reconnected with friends, family and thrown myself into hobbies.

I’d even go as far to say I wouldn’t even call myself a sucker for love anymo Oh nvm, he texted me back :) –Laura Macdonald

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News The F*cking News 4/5/2020 Massive Magazine

Members of the 2020 MAWSA Executive.

Wellington

MAWSA JOINS NZUSA

By Laura Macdonald

T

he MAWSA Executive has passed the motion to join The New Zealand Union of Students’ Association at the end of April via Zoom conference call.

NZUSA is a lobbying group that works with the government to enact changes that benefit students. The union pushed the first year fees-free policy, lobbied to increase student loan payment by $50 a week and have recently been demanding the government provide a Covid-19 support package for students.

“In joining NZUSA, MAWSA is throwing our weight in behind the national student’s movement.

Fighting for what our students need on a national level.”

NZUSA is funded through membership fees, which has been offered to MAWSA at a discounted rate this year of $2,000.

“That’s money that we’ve put aside in our budget for expenses like this, but student money nonetheless,” Paterson said.

“We’ll be continuing to consult with MAWSA Student President Jacob Paterson our students to ensure that a sustained was motivated to join the union because relationship with NZUSA is something of the extra swaying power it would give students at Massey Wellington value.” when lobbying.

“We at MAWSA, firmly believe that we as students are better off when we stand united. So that is what we’re doing,” he said.

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Dr Rosie Gibson from Massey Wellington’s Sleep/ Wake Research Centre.

National

TROUBLE SLEEPING? YOU’RE NOT ALONE.

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here has been an increase in sleep disturbances around the world since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, with people using social media to speak about their experiences.

Many people reported having unsettling dreams surrounding family members getting sick and being separated from loved ones, or strange dreams that make little sense.

By Erika Johnstone Centre said that having disrupted sleep and vivid dreams is normal considering the situation. Stress, being separated from family, and the change in our schedules can all play a part in sleep disturbances.

“In dreaming, the emotive area of our brain is a lot more active, the dreams are part of our brains processing the situation,” she said.

The way people are waking could play a part too, as waking naturally without an alarm can leave dreams fresh in the mind.

People being more aware and focused on their dreams could also lead to the Massey student Kiera Joblin said her increase in vivid dreams, said Gibson. dreams had been negative, often about the “end of the world” and feeling she could Sleep is important for our mood and general wellbeing but also for our not escape the situation. immunity, so having a routine is Research Officer, Dr Rosie Gibson from important particularly in stressful times.

Massey Wellington’s Sleep/Wake Research If you are having difficulty sleeping, Essential worker, Brad Wija said his dreams centred around being unable to get to his daughter if she became ill, as she is away at boarding school.

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Dr Gibson suggests ensuring you get exposure to sunlight in the morning and avoid exercise, coffee, alcohol, and blue light emitting devices before bed.

Keeping the bedroom a “sleep safe zone” is also important in ensuring our brain associates the bedroom with sleep.

It is not something to stress over though, “we need to recognise that this time is pretty unique and it’s okay to have broken sleep and it’s quite normal to have nightmares… it’s all part of the process,” said Dr Gibson.

Massey Wellington’s Sleep/Wake centre are conducting a survey about New Zealander’s experience with sleep and wellness throughout the lockdown, available through their website.

They also have resources for all ages regarding sleep and COVID available here https://www.sleepwake.ac.nz/what-wedo/covid-19-resources/.

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A Facebook poll showed the majority of students were feeling unmotivated to study.

National

MISSING MOTIVATION AT MASSEY

By Alisha McLennan

A

fter two weeks of online study, some Massey students are finding it difficult to keep motivated.

Massey University recommenced on April 20th after a lengthened mid-semester break. Due to the Covid-19 crisis all faceto-face learning has been replaced with online zoom lectures and emails.

“I’ve never been one for distance learning,” said second-year Massey student Jessica Platen, “but now obviously because of Covid you need to adapt.”

“It’s so easy to just go inside and watch Netflix the whole day, and then realise that I have an assignment due tomorrow and haven’t started it.”

the poll, only 11 students responded. All reported that they were unmotivated.

also advised against working from your bed.

“So at this stage I have attended 0 Lack of motivation is not the only issue lectures.” said Massey student Deana facing students. Some courses also have Isherwood. “I’ve always struggled with smoother transitions than others. staying motivated and getting work done “Some classes I didn’t notice a difference, at home.” but for one class in particular where Deeana usually completed assignments we were doing a group project it was and readings in libraries and cafes, both really tricky,” Zoe said. of which are closed due to the lockdown rules.

Senior Lecturer Dr Catherine Strong Zoe Braithwaite is in her fourth year of Massey, and she had already completed several distance courses before the lockdown.

distinguished between typical online learning and this response to the Covid-19 crisis.

“Our new courses are not really distance “Motivation is the hardest thing,” she courses or online courses because they Jessica was one of several. A poll was listed reflects, “and that comes honestly with weren’t carefully planned as such.” on a class Facebook page, where students practice.” were asked whether online classes were For struggling students Zoe suggested She said they are instead referred to resulting in them feeling motivated or to “keep a schedule, set a space aside, “Emergency Remote Teaching”. unmotivated. Out of the 25 who saw wherever you are, as your workspace.” She

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MAWSA President Jacob Paterson.

National

GOVERNMENT MISSES THE MARK WITH NEW TERTIARY $20M FUND

By Laura Macdonald and Tyler Hambleton

T

an internet provider if they are currently NZUSA’s petition for a Universal without one.

Education Income. The petition is The new fund is a reaction to a recent lobbying for a weekly payment to be made survey by the Tertiary Education available to all domestic students (part Commission which found that over time and full time) which would enable “The device and internet package is a win 10,000 students either do not have the students to continue studying during the for students. But it’s the literal minimum correct device for their studies or do not Covid-19 crisis. support the government could give at a have an internet connection that allows Students can sign the petition here: time like this. So now students can get for them to do so. https://bit.ly/3bYA160 online, but can we afford to rent, food? The government believes that the fund Can we afford to actually study full time will allow for around 18,000 students to without a job? No,” Paterson said. access a device or internet connection. he government has announced a new $20 million package to assist students with their continued online learning, but MAWSA President Jacob Paterson doesn’t think it’s enough.

“At the moment the only real support Paterson believes that education is going students are getting is from their to be more important than ever to get the universities in hardship grants. This country and economy back on track. responsibility is the government’s to look after their people.”

“The government needs to support The $20 million dollar fund aims to their students and make sure everyone connect students with devices that will has the opportunity for a barrier-free allow them to carry on their learning tertiary education.” throughout all future levels of lockdown.

This also includes connecting students to He also encourages students to sign

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DISCORD

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‘Aunty Cindy didn’t include the purchase of drugs off Discord as essential, but trust me, for many it has been.’

Welcome to Discord, a chatting platform for communities and friends and also an online drug marketplace!

The platform was initially designed for gaming communities and released around four years ago.

Flashforward to six months before lockdown and I started hearing about how Discord can be used for buying anything from weed to ketamine, molly, coke, acid and numerous prescription drugs such as Valium, Ritalin, Xanax and so much more.

Everyone’s usual buying habits have changed completely throughout lockdown, with many businesses deemed essential operating solely online.

Aunty Cindy didn’t include the purchase The risk of selling on Discord is pretty low, compared to your typical of drugs off Discord as essential, but drug-dealing where you communicate trust me for many it has been. through text or calls. The threads in On the first night of lockdown we which dealers and buyers post delete all ventured out around 10:30PM to meet the comments after a couple hours and someone off Discord and bought some weed. It is all trial and error with sellers you can make your username whatever as many aren’t that trustworthy, as with you want. This gives sellers and buyers all other online platforms they can hide both a sense of anonymity, hence the reason why the platform is so popular. behind their keyboard and the risk

My first experience with Discord before lockdown was exactly what I expected, our usual plug was out so we took a risk of not being caught or fucked with is lowered dramatically. and picked up a bag of molly from a Luckily for us the dealer was pretty solid supposed ‘trusted’ dealer.

It was trash, we flamed him on Discord and we continued to buy off him for the first two weeks. and he made up some shit excuses as to why it was trash. Oh well, sometimes you have to take a loss.

After this we all decided that Discord was 1) trash and 2) a last resort for when drinking just isn’t enough. I’m pretty sure I said I would never use it again, until lockdown struck.

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quality and for once the worries of Covid-19 seemed to go away after about half of the bag, the dealer has since gone ghost and I truly wish him the best, lovely guy.

I was scrolling through the Discord app on my phone one night before we were meant to meet him and saw he posted saying he had ket, I thought I may as well indulge and surprise the boys as isolation was rather dull.

To my surprise, it was of pretty good

Although, if the dealer is driving to meet you which some are, they run the risk of being pulled over by the increased presence of police on the streets throughout lockdown.

You must have a solid excuse for what you are doing driving, this happened to somebody on their way to meet me last week. They got out of it and were pretty snappy with the delivery, another good sort I’ve met through Discord.

Discord differs from traditional

drug dealing as it is hard to defame somebody who is behind a keyboard somewhere and if you do get ripped off, good luck getting any money back.

As I mentioned earlier you can change your name on Discord or make a new account if you get kicked by a moderator for being sketchy, meaning the person can just sign up again and business will be as usual.

Another ethical concern is the fact that you can sign up at any age and most dealers probably won’t care how old you are as they are just looking for a quick buck.

to everyone and anyone.

I’m in no way encouraging the use of drugs, or buying them off Discord. If you have to resort to it, know what you are doing and only deal with people that seem more trustworthy, you can tell through the way they message you.

If it feels sketchy, it probably is.

When lockdown is over I’ll probably never use it again - support your local drug dealer and know your shit.

Harm reduction is something that is important to me. People should use drugs safely and in moderation as the long-term effects of taking molly every weekend for six years can lead to some pretty serious mental health issues.

This is the problem I have with Discord; there is no control and dealers don’t know what they are doing. They are most likely some rich kid with a car whose parents cut him off so now he just drives around in his BMW selling

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CHRONIC PAIN

‘Medicinal cannabis still carries a significant stigma in the community.’

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For too many of those struggling with chronic health conditions, it’s easier to get weed from the tinny house down the road than the medical professionals who regulate medicinal cannabis.

I was the year above Alex Renton at school. His mum Rose has since dedicated her life to helping people get the medicinal treatment they need.

When Alex was admitted to hospital for a prolonged seizure in 2015, experts advised that exploring cannabis treatments could be an opportunity to help him through, when all else was failing. There were countless studies to back up their reasoning, but doctors weren’t convinced. Rose had to jump through hoops and over hurdles and eventually found her way to the Minister of Health. By the time approval was finally granted and the product was shipped in from overseas it was too late, and Alex had passed away.

I understand the necessary approval process for a treatment that is not yet common practice, but the delay cost Alex his life. The time-consuming part wasn’t getting the signatures his family

needed. It was fighting the stigma that surrounds medicinal cannabis.

My housemate Georgia is no stranger to weed. She grew up in a small town in rural New South Wales where one of the best ways to pass time was to alter the perception of it. But this is different. When she was 17 she was diagnosed with endometriosis - a chronic condition which sees tissues growing outside the uterus, leading to serious health complications and near-constant pain. Since her diagnosis, she has had three surgeries, has trialled countless alternative treatments, had a recent diagnosis of adenomyosis and is finally coming to the realisation that there is no cure, just ways of managing the effects.

For the last eight years, she has tried to manage the severe pain and associated conditions like fibromyalgia and anxiety the only way she has ever been told how. A pharmaceutical cocktail of paracetamol, ibuprofen, endone, codeine and palexia. And then came the medication to offset any side effects.

“With endone, I get a mild allergic

‘I don’t want to be this 25-yearold that’s taking 50 tablets.’ reaction, but it’s annoying enough to bother me and gives me itchy skin and nausea,” she said. “Codeine makes me nauseous, ibuprofen gives me reflux…

Long term use of opioids is not good.

These kinds of drugs are good for acute pain but chronic pain is more about a multidisciplinary approach.”

As someone who has lived in close quarters with Georgia for the last two years, I’ve seen firsthand the pain, discomfort and anxiety her health has put her through. I can also attest that she’s not someone who’s cynical about Big Pharma.

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Cannabis is not a publicly funded treatment, and while carrying a similar price tag to the street value, the cost of this pain management pathway is CBD oils, topical creams and bath completely unattainable for many. It salts are used for her chronic pain and anxiety. These don’t get you high in the makes it an issue of class and privilege.

Medicinal cannabis still carries a way most of us have experienced and many doctors say it’s non psychoactive. significant stigma in the community too, with misinformation and poor THC oil is used when her pain is at a education leading to a negative higher level. When the two are used perception of the treatment. That’s one together, it covers all her bases. Just of the things Georgia hopes for people recently, her doctor has prescribed the flower for immediate pain relief. Slowly, to develop a greater understanding of.

“It needs to be made more accessible she’s exploring what she should be and there needs to be more awareness reaching for and when, as she gets to on the benefits of it. I’m really lucky know the effect on her symptoms. that my doctor is really open to it, but In some bizarre twist, Georgia is one there’s a lot of room for improvement. of the lucky ones. Because of her In Australia, it needs to be on the endless health complications, she Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme. I don’t has a good relationship with her GP need nearly as much as someone with and gynecologist, and an impressive epilepsy or MS, so affordability may be medical history to prove her case. different for someone with a different Getting government approval for experience of pain. We need to make the products she needed took less it more accessible for people who can’t than eight days, a process only made afford it, like the disabled or elderly on complicated by the three-hour drive pensions who could really benefit…” to the specialist doctor with a license “I don’t want to be this 25-year-old that’s taking 50 tablets, I just want to try it another way if I can,” she said.

to prescribe. Others aren’t as lucky.

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“For those exploring it, self-research

and perseverance,” she says. “Do a lot of self-research, look into your local laws... I get a lot of people messaging me asking about it and there’s only so much I can say, ethically. Also, don’t stop seeking it if your doctor doesn’t prescribe it, there will be someone out there who will.”

We know that cannabis will have a significant role to play in the upcoming election, as the referendum asks us to consider our stance on reforming recreational use. This is an opinion many will form based around their own experiences and prejudices; whether you believe it to be a gateway drug or not. What is lesser-known, most likely because it doesn’t affect most of us, is the Medicinal Cannabis Scheme that came into effect on April 1. In a nutshell, the scheme regulates the manufacture and supply of medicinal cannabis and aims to increase access to medicinal cannabis products.

Hopefully, these changes will be enough to get scientifically-proven, naturallygrown help to those who need it the most. Before they run out of time.

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BREAK UP BIBLE

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Disclaimer: this breakup bible is intended for the dumpee. If you were the heartbreaker, scram…

JK, love you. Everyone’s got their own story, I hope this helps you too!

So, the worst possible thing has just happened. Now you’re a sobbing, hyperventilating, broken mess on the floor in the corner of your room with your mum on speaker phone trying to calm you down. Oddly specific, yes but you’ve got the image in your head.

Regardless, you’re in pain. Probably confused or angry, or an ugly mess of the two. It feels like the worst imaginable pain, it’s hurting you both inside and out. You’re lying there on your back, staring up at the ceiling while tears spill down the side of your face, uncomfortably filling up your ears, making it sound like you’re underwater as your mum rattles on. And you’re thinking to yourself, will it ever stop hurting?

Good news! It does!

And here’s my own personal method on how to love yourself again.

1) Feeling your feelings You are undoubtedly very upset, especially if you resonated with anything I wrote earlier. And just like a fart, feelings are better out than in.

Holding onto those feelings and letting them fester inside is just going to make you feel worse. Even though you are indeed a whole snacc, you don’t want to stew (get it?). The trick is to let yourself be sad and angry and confused and depressed because if that’s what you need to feel, then feel it. In a lot of cases, your body tends to know better than you (which is why you don’t end up starving or pissing yourself). Listen to it and once you’ve got what you need to feel right now, then move on. If you want to stalk their socials or look at photos and read old convos then go ahead, but don’t linger. And take as long as you want as well, there isn’t a deadline or mathematical equation that determines when you should be ‘done’ by. Doesn’t matter how long you need,

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you’ll have good and bad days, and then the odd moment months down the line when you get lost thinking about it, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t still thriving. You take however long you need, no question asked.

2) Your crew got you Having people you can trust and rely on can be so helpful. Your true friend will never get sick of you ranting on about how you feel like a sack of steaming shit. And your family has it written into their contract to listen to you rambling on like a broken record and still love you, obviously. Sometimes you need a pick-me-up and sometimes you need someone to literally just talk at, because there’s only so much your reflection in the mirror can offer you. And if you aren’t one who likes sharing things like that, get it out some other way. You won’t believe how incredibly cathartic writing or painting or aggressively dancing to TikTok songs can be.

Genuinely, reading some of the shit I wrote during my last break up cracks me up and makes me wonder if they lowkey fetishised my ethnicity.

3) Say goodbye I’ve found that the hardest part of getting dumped is figuring out how life is supposed to go on without them.

Talking every day, sending each other memes and getting Maccas in fat pants is probably a large part of your life, and you shared it with someone that no longer exists in it anymore. So having to go cold turkey seems impossible, especially when you don’t really want to. But go cold turkey you must. Once you’ve had enough of their Instagram feed, block that bitch. Say bye Felicia and block their profiles on everything.

Leave whatever you’ve got of theirs in their letterbox and burn the rest. This has to be the end of their presence

in your life. After this you don’t go back and look, and you’ve got to stick to that. Looking back is just going to open wounds and that’s going to leave a worse scar. You were thriving before and you sure as hell will thrive after them.

4) Take care of yourself You, alone, are a gorgeous, proud, self-sufficient god or goddess. And if you aren’t yet then that’s okay too!

Breakups are the best time to make yourself a better version of yourself. As depressing as it sounds, when you’ve been shattered into a million pieces and your heart feels like it’s been kicked in the balls or punched in the tits, the only way you’re going to get better is by picking those pieces back up and putting them together however you want. So go do whatever you like! You haven’t got someone you need to look after or pay for or anything. Get yourself some new clothes, treat yourself to a night out or just stay at home swaddled in blankets watching Julie and Julia for the 6 millionth time. This time is for you, no one else and you are your own best friend through this. You are still a whole person without them, and you don’t need them to define your selfworth. Always remember that.

Shine bright booboo, you got dis <3

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SMOKING & COPING

On students using drugs in lockdown

Lou Reilly

For most, escapism is the name of the game on how to get through lockdown.

A lot of us are marooned at home with old-fashioned parents, coping by reverting to a child like state through play or screaming into the void. Others, with more liberal flatmates, are turning to narcotics to keep the boredom and anxiety at bay.

Roxanne* is relieved that she can smoke as much weed as she likes without the threat of random drug testing at the office she works in.

“Def upped my dosage due to the fact that I feel safe I won’t be random drug tested for work. So I can have job security and supplement weed to ease anxiety without adding to the anxiety of being drug tested and losing my job.

Huge plus,” she said.

For Alexandra*, a self-confessed chronic over-thinker, keeping busy usually quashes any bouts of anxiety.

But her usual activities like going to the gym, attending events and hanging out with friends and family were obviously outlawed on March 23rd.

“I was so nervous when lockdown was announced because I was worried about my mental health, but weed has been really helpful. I’ve been able to sleep, control anxiety, focus on things such as painting or reading - just relax,” she said.

Her friend Stacey Ray* echoes the sentiment, saying smoking half a joint before bed helps her relax.

“It hasn’t been for boredom but it has been to help me relax as I’m still working full time from home and have assignments on the go, and it helps me

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a lot with sleep.”

to relatively normal life.

Stacey is living at home for the lockdown with unsuspecting parents, so has dialled down her usage lest they suspect.

“I’m more than a little nervous to see what back to the office means for me. It has been a huge benefit for me working at home surrounded by people who love and care about me rather than my office mates who are incredibly single minded and trying to step on others to get up. I think going back will make me want to up my weed intake to try and deal with the stress that that causes me. It wouldn’t have anything to do with addiction,” Roxanne said.

“I’m paranoid they can tell otherwise, because I’m not open with them about it.”

But for Matt*, a consistent weed smoker, living at home during the lockdown has presented a chance to break a habit.

“I have taken the opportunity to stop smoking weed. Just passed five weeks clean - longest break in four years. Also due to there not being any festivals or parties I haven’t even pondered any party enhancers which has been great too,” he said.

While Stacey stocked up on illicit supplies before the lockdown was enforced, Alexandra’s dealer lives just down the street and trades are made via the letterbox to maintain social distancing.

Stacey, however, knows of another dealer exploiting the circumstances to make a profit.

“I know of someone who is still delivering all over Christchurch. I doubt he has many (if any) sanitary precautions. He hasn’t been stopped once, either. He is charging more due to the “risk” it puts him in, and also because people are desperate I guess!”

And while everyone I spoke to was enjoying the slower pace of life and opportunity to dabble more with drugs to cope with lockdown, a few were nervous about adjusting to the return

“Nicotine, however, helluva drug and I have become addicted to that on day one of lockdown due to boredom, this will probably be the hardest reality going back and having to take smoke breaks for the first time to get that hit…” she added.

Alexandra was uncertain about her future and how she would adjust to a post Covid-19 society.

“Yeah, I don’t know what real life will be! How will I feel around people again, having a busy schedule again, will I still have a job, can I still look for a new job? The new world anxiety will either make me smoke as much as I am now, or less,” she said.

The voltage of anxiety has been running on high throughout the country during lockdown, and if a toke of a joint mutes the white noise then I’m all for that. For the rest of us, our only outlet is aggressively playing Crash Bandicoot and calling our sibling a bitch during Scrabble. *Names have been changed.

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NATUROPATHY

When I enrolled to study naturopathy and herbal medicine, half of me was excited to learn about health from a natural and holistic approach. The other half was slightly scared I was going to turn into a gypsy witch who claimed she could heal people with essential oils.

Thankfully, the latter judgement has been put to rest, and the study of natural medicine is more wholesome than what I could have ever imagined.

For those of you reading this that are a little confused about what naturopathy and herbal medicine is, let me try and sum it up for you.

techniques, and even massage therapy or acupuncture.

Why did I decide to choose this course of study, you ask? In a fast paced world where we are easily caught up in our daily stresses, there needs to be some people in the world who remind us that our bodies are our homes, and we need to keep them as nice places to live in. To remind us that the stress of work, life, study, family, and friends does not need to come home with us and be held in our precious bodies.

Naturopathy and natural therapies are so beneficial in this sense, because Naturopaths are interested in looking practitioners in this field want to teach at your overall health in terms of your you skills that you can implement mind, body, and spirit. It sounds a bit throughout the rest of your life. They woo woo, I know, but stick with me. A want you to learn how to fuel your body naturopath will look at your health in with good food, they want to teach you terms of your entire being. We want to relaxation techniques that you can use know about your physical, social, mental, when you find yourself stressed. They spiritual and emotional wellbeing. We want you to recognise that your health are those over protective mums who is not just how you might be physically wanna know everything. Have you been feeling, it is so much more complex than drinking enough water? Sleeping well that. And when you can start tuning through the night? Are your friends in to all the components which may being nice to you? Have you tried to be influencing your wellbeing that is relax with meditation? Give us alllll the when you start truly living your best life. tea sis.

Because who doesn’t want to be zen as f*ck???

One of the naturopath’s main priorities is to work with you to find For students in particular, I know how the root cause of your struggles. They easy it can be to put your wellbeing on are concerned about WHY you are the back burner while you’re trying to experiencing symptoms, not just stay on top of a hefty workload and a WHAT the symptoms are and how roaring social life. I have been that girl they are manifesting. The main ways in the library, filled with caffeine but still a naturopath is looking to assist you falling asleep, riddled with stress ulcers with healing is through nutrition and a tension headache. It is so tricky to advice, exercise, herbal medicine and keep a balance but please, as someone supplements, relaxation/mindfulness who is into their second degree and

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has experienced almost every stressful student situation you can think of, put your health first!

One of the biggest things that naturopathy has taught me is that for the most part, you are in control of how you feel and how you look after your body. You can decide at any moment to become better at looking after yourself.

By doing at least one thing everyday to try and look after every area of your wellbeing, I reckon you might start feeling like a superstar. Something I found personally helpful is to write a to do list every single day. And on that to do list, include everything you want to get done, but also something that will help take care of every aspect of your health. For example, I would write down the uni tasks I needed to get done for the day, but I would also write down go for a walk outside, have a nice conversation with a friend, meditate for five minutes, read a few pages of a book, do my skincare routine, eat a vegetable. Once you start realising how easy it is to factor in little things to take care of yourself, it almost becomes a mindless thing you do, and all of a sudden you are glowing from the inside out, just as you should be.

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ARI HUGHES Describe your work in an elevator pitch Don’t Be a Festivillain develops and implements engaging visual strategies to help foster a more compassionate and safe festival experience and reduce harm at festivals across Aotearoa. We develop and implement graphics, in the form of social media designs and signage around festivals, which promotes awareness and education surrounding inevitable problems that consume the behaviours of people who participate in music festivals, namely: substance use and abuse, sexual misconduct, violence, negative attitudes towards other festival goers, security and festival staff, and overall festival health and wellbeing. Don’t Be a Festivillain breaks down the communication barrier when it comes to highlighting the rules for your audience and implements appealing strategies that will promote positive festival wellbeing. The aim is to start conversations around these issues with the aid of unique informative graphics.

What degree did you study at university?

Visual Communication Design

Do you have any advice for budding artists/designers?

Don’t give up on your idea, or let anyone tell you it isn’t enough. The initial concept of Don’t Be a Festivillain wasn’t too much of a hit…But now, after a bit of work I am being recognised and pushed by Chole Swarbrick, a Government funded research project, and multiple big time festivals.

What do you love most about art/design and why?

It allows you to take a concept in any direction. For instance you can take an idea and turn it into a book, poster, app, game, something useful, a tool - whatever you may want, you can design it to your wildest dreams. Design doesn’t have any restrictions; it is simply the method in which you convey your idea.

How can I follow you on social media?

Click follow! @dontbeafestivillain and share it with your friends. ;) @arihughes

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Soundsplash Campaign

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DRUGS IN THE MEDIA Rose

“I had my days of coke. I had my days of drinking. I had my days of meth,”– Joe Exotic, Tiger King.

Drugs have a pretty strong presence in pop culture and can be great content. A big concern for us in the Classification Office is how drugs are depicted in the media. Also, what impact the depictions might have on young and impressionable minds. But it isn’t simple and our classification heavily depends on the context. I often think back to when I was young, and wonder what the films and series were that contained drugs, and how I would classify them now.

The first series that comes to mind is Skins. Obviously the British version, and generation one and two. Don’t talk to me about generation three and the American remake. They did a lot of drugs on Skins and my god they were cool. But, at that stage alcohol was more accessible, and stealing a bottle of vodka from my parents was a lot easier than finding shrooms.

I was that meme where the teen is unconscious in the field instead of the approved sleepover. Thinking of Skins now, I ask myself questions like, “was the drug use instructional?” and “were

Massive Magazine | Issue 05

side effects or consequences of drug use depicted?” By that stage watching someone roll a joint wasn’t news to me but their lifestyle seemed so cool. In my head I wanted to be as carefree and bad-ass as Effie. But when push came to shove my desire to be rebellious was squashed by expectations of my friends, family, society and even myself. Yeah, I experimented but I had drawn lines for myself without even realising.

The next film I thought of was Requiem for a Dream. Now if you are a film student or love watching the classics you will have stumbled across this one. You may already be squeamish.

There were some pretty graphic scenes that included needles. Needless to say this film completely discouraged me from taking Class A drugs. It is funny listening to different people talk about this film. Some say every teenager needs to watch this film but I disagree.

The film influenced my opinion on drug-use, but the graphic depictions are not for everyone. People also think that this film is not for young people at all. The Classification Office rated this

film R18 and I agree with that decision.

Alongside the drug use, sex scenes and offensive language were also dealt with to a high extent. What I do find interesting is a film that depicts serious drug related consequences will often have a much higher classification than a film that normalises and only shows the positives of drug-use.

distinctly remember rolling my eyes at my father when he tried to tell me all the bad things about the film and weed.

What am I trying to say here? There is no blanket rule for classifying publications that contain drugs.

Honestly, it is actually hard work.

Content like Skins and Pineapple Express normalise drug misuse, while Requiem for a Dream traumatises its Which brings me to stoner comedies. audience. Whether a film is considered Pineapple Express is well-known and funny, relatable for teens or a piece of well loved. Seth Rogen and James art, there are pros and cons to them Franco doing what they do best, all. What the Classification Office has smoking weed. When I watched this found after engaging with young people film I had already tried weed but I is that they are not solely convinced by had never delved into the world of the media to go and try drugs. And I different strains. You could almost think I agree with that. After watching say I found this film both eye opening the above publications it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t my and entertaining. In film, comedy is a mission to mimic what I saw, but tool that tends to dampen the impact when the opportunity arose in social of certain depictions, whether it be circumstances it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t shock me. What sex, violence, or in this case, drug made me laugh the most during this use. This is a great example of a film exercise was thinking about the time I with a lower rating than Requiem realised that the circle scenes in That for a Dream but arguably has more 70â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Show the group was actually sitting concerning elements. Its content normalises (current) criminal behaviour round and smoking weed. and promotes a not so great lifestyle. I

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So you have read my ramblings about content that impacted my perception of drugs. I encourage you to look back to when you were a young teen and think of the content that influenced your perception of drugs and alcohol.

Perhaps there are none. Perhaps you were heavily influenced and you were lying next to me in that field.

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Eat, Pray, Fuck Tatted Twink

Skiing photos and toxic masculinity Some people look back at their sex life and aim to forget it. Others find it boring and hardly speak of it. I however embrace discussing my sex life which could easily be described as A Series of Unfortunate Events. Here are the basics; I’m a queer guy and the family somehow doesn’t know despite all the mesh and jeans so tight you can taste the denim through your asshole. In this particular weekly series, we will cover my family trip around Europe. Most family trips entail ugly photos, tours and sightseeing. My family trip did include all of these, however it also doubled as a 2-week bender, an international sex-scapade and a toupee the size of a small hamster.

By this point I had essentially gone out every night since we had been on the bus tour and my god is that appalling and simply tiring to look back on.

Nowadays I barely make it to 2 AM on a Saturday if I haven’t had a midday nap.

We had bounced around Europe some more and I still tried to keep to my goal of a hook up every second day for the whole trip. This included some drunk karaoke in Florence and making out with a girl outside the gay bar only to find out her boyfriend was behind the bar, proceeded by her ranting about how Jesus loved me. Quite charming really.

Not all encounters end as expected on this sex-scapade. One was a man in Paris, draped in red flags as if he was walking the carpet for Get Out. The first flag was a message telling me to not “dress gay”. I assured him I didn’t plan to show up on a pride float (rather a single unicorn shitting rainbows). The second red flag was to find him sitting outside—not his flat— but across the road and a street up, from where he walked behind me for a moment before asking my name.

Despite every synapse in my brain screaming, “You in danger girl”, I followed him up the stairs like the white blonde girl in any horror. He continuously reminded me to walk

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with the likeness of a mouse as he didn’t want his neighbours to know.

Red flag number three. We get into his apartment and I’m swiftly ushered into the bedroom where I pointed out his super king bed. We are about to have ‘bake the potato’ before he admits he doesn’t have a condom. Luckily enough I carry around more rubber than a Kardashian ass.

A picture that I’ve never quite managed to escape that was the laid down images of what was clearly a wife and kids. To clarify, they weren’t turned over, simply laid down. Despite his attempt at quietly calming me down, I demanded to be let out, storming out ready to cry and scream.

I look back on this interaction with a lot of shame and anger. Shame over The cherry on top was that he came in not seeing all the red flags and for all of two minutes. He followed up with partaking in this infidelity but then anger at this man for not telling me, a weak, “Sorry you were just so tight.” for cheating on his partner, becoming To which I thought, ‘Yeah because I the accessory to his moral crime. had sweet fuck all time to relax’. That poor excuse for ‘gland-to-gland combat’ It’s one of those situations without resolution but that seems like a good had to be the fourth red flag. summary for most of life.

We had finished up and I began to get Until next time, this has been dressed while he brought me a glass upsettingly comedic. of water and asked if I’d ever be in Paris again (thankfully not). I answered vaguely as to avoid being murdered in a foreign city with no one knowing my whereabouts. I really was trying to end up as an episode of Cold Case.

I moved the conversation to the kitchenette to escape the bedroom smelling of sex and sweat.

Tension filled him as I walked around the small walkway, looking around at the artwork and decor. I saw a photo of him on an icy mountain and proceeded to ask him about it while still looking.

And then I saw it.

Yours truly, The Tatted Twink

Climate

Corner Connie Sellers

From Coimbatore to Kmart: A closer look at fast fashion

Most of us are aware of fast fashion as an environmental menace. A quick refresher: fast fashion is the rapid production of inexpensive clothes by mass-market retailers. The demand for designs to go from the runway to stores quickly means that companies mass-produce cheap products as fast as possible to match the latest trends.

We want it on-trend, fast, and most importantly, cheap.

My close friend Taylor studies fashion design in Dunedin. Earlier this year she travelled to India with her class in partnership with the KPR Institute of Engineering. Based in the industrial city of Coimbatore, the class visited one of KPR’s six factories that create garments for several popular western brands. I interviewed her about her experience.

Taylor was already aware of the issues plaguing the fashion industry.

Exploited workers, environmental peril, toxic textiles dyes, the list goes on. However, on her visit to India, it became apparent that fast fashion’s issues are far more complex than she anticipated.

The girls who work at the factory, most around 17, live on site in hostels where all their living needs are provided. The cost of living here is far cheaper than anywhere else.

In an arrangement that wouldn’t be heard of in New Zealand, the The Love & Drugs Issue

women work in exchange for an education: an opportunity that is few and far between for them. The trip’s supervisor said that without this work, these girls had no future.

Women around here seem to need these jobs. If fast fashion stopped, they, and millions of others like them, would be jobless.

“In terms of ethical human rights there’s obviously issues on which I don’t agree with fast fashion, but there’s almost a need for it,” sighs Taylor. She speaks pragmatically. “If you are privileged enough, then don’t buy it, it’s your duty. But there are so many people who aren’t. There are too many people in the world to all be clothed by boutique tailors.”

I went into this column intending to reinforce fast fashion’s problematic reputation, but came to an ethical crossroad after hearing about Taylor’s experiences. I’m not suddenly going to go splurge on cheap dresses from Boohoo and Fashion Nova, and suggest you don’t either. But neither can I afford a wardrobe of new-season Kowtow. What I think we can do is look closer into where we’re buying from when we need something cheap.

Tearfund’s Ethical Fashion Guide is a great resource compiling ratings of 130 fashion companies. Each brand is graded on sustainability policies, transparency, traceability,

auditing, supplier relationship, worker empowerment and environmental management. Another good source of information I recommend checking out is fash_rev on instagram.

Alternatively, when you think you need a new outfit, consider your other options. Buy second hand, try clothing swaps, join Facebook groups like Smokey Bandit to find one-off vintage pieces for reasonable prices.

If you prefer high-end brands, try TheRealReal, Grailed, or Poshmark for second-hand at a fraction of the retail price. Lastly, I’ll add this: you don’t need a new outfit for every new goddamn party. Nobody remembers that dress from last time. Nobody actually cares.

Think of the planet before you think of your Insta.

In the end, fast fashion still poses a serious threat to the sustainability of our future. Taylor pointed out that some factories are better than others.

The one she visited was on the better end of the spectrum.

“If I’m going to buy fast fashion and can’t afford Kowtow then I go to Kmart. I’ve seen them make it, I’ve eaten lunch with them. I’d rather do that than buy from a company that I know nothing about. If you are going to purchase fast fashion, buy from companies that are at least trying.”

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Suffrage Tess Patrick

I write these words from my sofa as I re-watch Peaky Blinders for the second time this lockdown, and I think to myself, would it really be that bad if we had a little more? Take illegal bets, have a distillery on the side… More might not always be better, but shit it’s nice to get by.

We’re students, we’re used to having nothing. We’re used to being the only group of people that pay for their time instead of getting paid for it. So the $130 mil support package for tertiary students came as a slap in the face disguised as a Briscoes sale. To temporarily allow us students to borrow $2000 instead of our usual $1000 for course-related costs is a negligent decision that will only send us further into debt.

This package offers support for fees, as this government has offered us in the past with the Fees Free scheme. What they fail to recognise is that it isn’t the fees that are the financial burden, but the very cost of existing in itself.

Canadian students are now entitled to $1,250 a month from May to August. If you are taking care of someone else or have a disability, that amount increases to $1,750 monthly. That’s CAD, so at the very least they will receive just shy of $1,500 NZD a month. It’s not groundbreaking and you won’t be buying a home with that anytime soon. Not here anyway. But it’s more than we’ve ever been able to borrow.

Australian students were given $750. A real no-questions-asked type situation.

It’s not like they’re going to spend it all on Bali or a bender or a Balinese bender, because you can’t do that at the moment.

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Perhaps instead, they may use it to afford the very basic costs of living.

Our government has done an incredible job of offering financial packages to those losing work and those losing business.

Where is the financial support to those who are already without an income?

Those who study 40 hours a week and rely on late-night casual hospitality employment to pay for their damp and leaky rooms.

This whole episode has got me wondering if tertiary study was designed as a model for profit. Where Universities earn jaw dropping paychecks for tuition, year-to-year. Where the government earns money the second its former students move overseas with the loan interest. I am one of these students, and a $4,000 lump sum every six months is less than attainable for a graduate journalist.

The reality is, as wonderful as Jacinda is, as thrilled as I am that this ‘new wave of socialism’ is working in society, as stoked as I am to have a Government that represents all demographics in society, as proud as I am that the world looks to New Zealand for guidance, this package shows just how out of touch our leaders are when it comes to the needs of students. New Zealand is still in a loaning mentality when it comes to students, not investing in the future. So it’s no surprise that so many graduates head overseas so they can’t start to pay their Studylink back. So cheers to the coalition for adding to that debt.

Salivate Tess Patrick

Salivate is here to help you get the most out of your measly student meals, while still making the most of your weekend.

I had planned to use this space to teach you the best in green eating. Not food miles or silverbeet, but the kind of brownie that would make you become part of the furniture. The kind of brownie that keeps you coming back for more, even though you really, really shouldn’t.

But as a firm believer of using food to heal, I’ve turned to a former Monday staple. The easy kind of dish that is best enjoyed after a long weekend with your good friend Molly, just before the Tuesday blues begin to settle in. I’ve never quite understood how, but the comedown gets worse as the week drags on. Will you ever be happy again? Probably not.

But that’s okay because I found this treat in the back of a second-hand version of Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. And believe me, it has healed me more times than you could count.

I’ll be the first to admit I have some very blunt serotonin receptors. I won’t bore you with the tales, but here is what I know. It is best thought of like a lock and key situation, and if one part has taken a beating, it’s going to be a hard time making things work. We all know that serotonin brings us back from knocking on death’s door. It keeps a smile on our dial and readiness in our bones for the next weekend. Without it, we’re fucked.

When you’re low in serotonin, your body is most likely sending you signals for something sweet or starchy. And it’s because, to make serotonin, your brain needs your body to have an ample supply of the amino acid tryptophan. To help this reach the happy centre of your brain, it needs insulin to carry it there - a plain old starchy snack.

Bonus points for being chew friendly.

After a big workout sometimes your facial muscles need a rest day. Plus it’s bloody cheap. Just what you need after a big weekend blowout.

Ingredients

Method to the Madness:

4 red-skinned potatoes, cubed

1. Ingredients In your most reliable saucepan, melt the ghee. Add onions and spices and saute for a minute, until golden and fragrant.

4 carrots, sliced ¼ cup onions, diced 1 tsp thyme 1 tbsp curry powder 1 tsp each sea salt and pepper 2 tsp ghee (sub butter or coconut oil)

2. Add 1 ½ cups of water and bring to a boil.

Add your potatoes and carrots and cook until your ingredients are mushy and tender.

3. Serve with steamed greens and salad, or my go-to easy rice if you can be bothered. It’s really that simple.

P.S. Want to know the secret to perfectly steamed white rice?

Rinse 1 cup of rice, and bring to the boil with 1 ½ cups of water and a sprinkle of salt. Once boiling, put a lid on and simmer for 10 minutes. You should see little tunnels forming in the rice. Don’t remove the lid, and don’t touch it.

Then remove from the heat, but keep the lid on for a further 10 minutes so the rice can continue to steam. When the time is up, whisk your rice with a fork and add a teaspoon of coconut oil. Easy as.

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Poetry Pet “It’s back again,” she says, “The monster in my head.”

He was tiny at first, quite a cute little thing; Hours of entertainment, an emotional swing.

An experience of a sort One of a kind But before I knew it, I was losing my mind.

He grew little by little Week by week Grew some feathers and some claws, Even some talons, and a beak.

He put my hands on my skull and spun me around But it hit me when I realised This wasn’t a merry go round.

This Was Life Quite real, quite profound I tried to leave But he chased me like a hound.

It had become the norm, to reside in my bed Quiet and alone Inside of my head.

I didn’t need a soul I was ever so flighty My social isolation Expanded un-mildly.

And now here I lie, awake But hardly even conscious That this little pet of mine Is a little obnoxious.

But I’ll put my shoes on And try hard to function After all, it’s just another day In my Sana-verse mansion.

-Sana Rehman Massive Magazine | Issue 05

The Unlonely Woman Ya know, maybe don’t end up at some random dude’s house from Bumble being strangled, getting a condom stuck in you and actually fearing for your life.

Sometimes I do some really stupid shit, like possibly life-threatening shit. Iso has me going cray cray to the fact I lay in bed trying to sleep and there it is… a memory I thought I forced myself to forget. So, I’m someone who preaches to always be safe and not put yourself in dangerous situations.

How did we get here? Well I found out that someone I know was diagnosed with terminal cancer (still alive and beating it I’ll add). But whenever something crazy happens in my life I just want the shit fucked out of me. So, I was out on the town with a work colleague saying how I just want a good FUCKING. So that night I matched with a guy we shall call Bumble purely because well that’s where we matched. He kept nagging me to come over, I was shitfaced, it was 3am… you get the picture.

So, I Uber my fine ass over to some random dude’s house, I’m about to sleep and he does the usual penis rub against your ass trick and it was game on. We are fucking, he goes down for ages, I don’t know what he was doing but it wasn’t it sis. The dude didn’t even get me wet like I wasn’t feeling it which is probs because I don’t have meaningless sex, but ya know I just wanted the shit fucked out of me.

Anywho, he comes back up and then we start fucking again. Next thing Bumble’s got his hand on my throat, and he’s strangling me, I mean full blown shit from CSI, for the first time in a long time I actually thought, “Is this how I’m going to die?” Is this the end for me? I’m trying to tell him to

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stop, but he was going way too hard.

The adrenaline takes over and I pry his hands off me and say “WHAT THE FUCK!” He apologised, we slept, I woke up in the morning, went to the toilet and what do I find? Oh ya know, just a condom inside my fucking vagina.

Bumble was going so hard that the condom got stuck inside of me. I come out and was like “Where’s the condom?” He says it’s in the bin. Me being the queen I am says, “Interesting, so why did I just pull it out my vagina ya twat?” This fucker knew it was inside of me; he just didn’t respect me enough to tell me.

He drops me home, I delete him on Bumble and then have to answer my flatties’ questions as to where I was that night. So, in short, meaningless sex isn’t for me. Rocking up to a random house is not for me. Seeing a guy who doesn’t respect me isn’t for me. I will say even though I was drunk as a skunk, I still sent his address to my mates and flatties because ya know - safety. If you’re going to be as stupid as me PLEASE send a screenshot of his Bumble profile and address. Life’s too short to fuck guys who don’t tell you the condom came off xx

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Reviews Tyler Hambleton

Vailima You can’t talk about average beers if you are not going to include one of Samoa’s finest exports, Vailima. What more could you ask for? A 650ML bottle of absolute greatness that contains four standards, one more time, four standards!

If I’m going to include Samoa’s finest exports I feel like I should quickly mention a couple other great exports that the country has had to offer the world in the past. David Tua is one and The Laughing Samoans are another.

Although the country has other great exports other than people such as fish, which brings in around $13 million USD a year.

Samoa’s alcohol exports bring in around $2.8 million a year which is not something to complain about.

Throughout isolation I have had some highs and lows in regards to drinking and beer, some great and some very average.

Vailima, despite its acquired taste and high percentage resides amongst my highs. The local dairy in Te Aro sells the beverage for $7, shout out Patels! This means you are basically getting four standard drinks for $1.75 per drink, pretty good I would say.

I’m usually an avid craft beer drinker but to be honest sometimes you can’t get completely written off from a six pack of them, there is often too much flavour and they make me insanely bloated.

This is where our saviour Vailima steps in.

If you have two of them you are going to be on your way to a good time, have four and you are probably going to find yourself head first in the toilet or vomiting on the concrete outside of your room - true story.

Next time you are at your local shop, check if they have it. I highly recommend them and apparently so does our neighbour as I rarely see him without one in his hand. Oh and I forgot to mention, I once loved Vailima so much that I changed my Instagram name to @vailima.nz, it was well received (not plugging my gram, it has since changed).

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Doof Juice Doof Juice is an iconic Cuba street beverage brewed in collaboration with 121 and Abandoned Brewery.

Doof Juice was initially brewed exclusively for Club 121 and has since moved onto shelves around our magnificent city. The XPA is delivered to your hands in a 330ml can of pure greatness - it would be difficult to attend a rave in the city without one of these bad boys being present.

The 4.2% 1.1 standard beer has changed in flavour since its first release at the club, it is now more drinkable than ever and a tad more fruity. The beverage was a staple at the 121 Festival which featured in our last issue.

I often talk about how when I’m rather drunk and dancing at a festival or club I tend to hold a can in my hand for hours without drinking it. Although, the first and last sip of Doof are equally enjoyable.

Doof Juice has blurred the barriers between high and low fi culture - you can drink at raves and clubs, but you can even drink it at Ascot, one of Wellington’s premier natural wine bars.

Throughout lockdown I have had the pleasure of ordering multiple slabs of the liquid gold which is today ever more sought after as drinkers reminisce on their times at Club 121 and their other events to date.

We just received our order for a friend’s birthday tomorrow and the lovely crew at Abandoned even wrote Happy Birthday on it, stars!

Doof Juice is available at New World Metro in Wellington’s CBD. It is also ready for purchase at LiquorLand Victoria Street, post lockdown. Keep your eye out for the little blue can of greatness, to note, this is not a PR piece. I genuinely love smashing 12 in under three hours.

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Poetry

Sand Sand runs through my fingers I wish it could be more than sand Standing with my feet burning turning ideas over in my hands Scalding with the sea running away like cold memories sending me to when I could make sandcastles as a child Now it’s just sand in the dull fingers of an adult I watch a little girl run past she looks at me, eyes blue not yet cold Her mother takes her hand.

I smile; She doesn’t like it.

“Let’s walk away sweetie.”

-James Mcinroy

Massive Magazine | Issue 05

Horoscopes Pick your poison this week, ladies and gents x

AQUARIUS

LEO

Put down the Haiz and pick up the highlighter to do those readings, ya space cadet.

We know you’re grubby as hell so want a foolproof way to clean your bong? Chuck a dishwashing tablet and some water in.

PISCES

VIRGO

The stars sent me a DM saying it’s going to be an extra special month for you, Pisces.

Stock up on cologne and alcohol.

As a social creature you’re sick of not being able to see your friends. A tab of acid should solve that, you’ll be seeing them climbing on the ceilings in no time!

ARIES

LIBRA

You’re going to need some cones after passively aggressively vying for leader of the group project.

Before lockdown you didn’t even like the taste of beer, now you’re a seasoned alcoholic. Level 4 really does build character, doesn’t it.

TAURUS

SCORPIO

As the end of isolation and the start of winter approaches, now is the perfect time for a mental reset. Go hunting for mushies.

Make the most of the money you’ve saved on MDMA and alcohol, and invest it into stocks.

GEMINI

SAGITTARIUS

While some need a cone to relax, you’ve been a little too relaxed. Now is the time to open the curtains, change the bong water and log onto Zoom to tick that 2% participation box.

Lockdown got you addicted to nicotine and now you have to take smoke breaks at work. Just tell them you’ve got irritable bowel syndrome, it’s more socially acceptable in 2020.

CANCER

CAPRICORN

The universe told me to tell you to try CBD oil. It’ll solve at least four of your problems.

The Love & Drugs Issue

Drinking yourself into a coma every night is funny and even edgy during Level 3 and 4 but a bit sad during Level 2. Snap out of it.

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Puzzles

Across

Down

2. "Nah bro it hasn't hit me, it's obviously shit ____"

1. When you're convinced Clifford the Big Red Dog is

9. Strongly associated with keys and vets

following you with a hunting rifle

11. One of the more socially acceptable drugs

3. Prescription drug that often doubles as an upper

12. Combining a psychedelic and an upper

4. That morning after feeling that's got you missing your

13. Every white girl wants to listen to this band when they're doing nangs 14. For when you're in public and you just don't wanna say bong 15. To sink a box of a certain popular RTD is called a?

ex from two years ago 5. The subspecies of cannabis recommended to take in the morning rather than night 6. We've all got that weird mate who insists on doing it 7. Chat app used by those in the know to suss 8. Most important step in making that perfect brownie 10. You will always regret having more than one 15. Use this to deviate your septum

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The Love & Drugs Issue

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President’s Address

MAWSA is joining NZUSA! Now, that’s a lot of acronyms, so for those of you who don’t know, NZUSA is The New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations. They are basically MAWSA, but instead of representing Massey Wellington they represent all the tertiary students around New Zealand.

Every Uni and most Polytechs around NZ have a student union, NZUSA is made up of these unions. NZUSA is a lobbying group, which means they work with (and put pressure on) the government to enact change that students want to see. So they’ve pushed for the first year fees-free policy, lobbied to increase our student loan payment by $50 a week and recently been demanding the government for some sort of half-decent COVID student support package.

The basic premise of a Union (which is what MAWSA is) is the idea that we are stronger together. We at MAWSA, firmly believe that we as students are better off when we stand united. So that is what we’re doing. In joining NZUSA, MAWSA is throwing our weight in-behind the national student’s movement, we will fight for what our students need.

-Jacob Paterson MAWSA President

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Massive Magazine | Issue 05