Massive Magazine Albany Issue 07 2020

Massive Issue 07

The Music Issue

Albany

Music

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Managing Editor: Laura Macdonald editor@mawsa.org.nz 04 979 3765 Designer: Harry Weise massive@mawsa.org.nz 04 979 3765 Media Manager: Caitlin Barlow-Groome manager@mawsa.org.nz 04 979 3763 Staff Writers: Dani Molloy (Albany) Aryaman Parulkar (Manawatū) Tyler Hambleton (Wellington) Contributors: James Pocock, Alisha McLennan, Tessa Guest, Tess Patrick, Connie Sellers, Liam Brown, Renae Williams, Bart English Illustrators: Vincent Owen, Casey Sheard Artist Feature: Zariah Wilson Front Cover: Harry Weise Publisher: Massivemagazine.org.nz ISSN-2253-5918 (Print) ISSN-2253-5926 (Online). This publication is printed using environmentally friendly inks and paper, the paper which is FSC© certified and from responsible forests, is manufactured under ISO14001 Environmental Management Systems.

Massive Magazine is committed to reducing its environmental footprint.

DISCLAIMER: The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages of Massive Magazine do not necessarily represent those of Massey University, its staff, Albany Students’ Association (ASA), Massey University Students’ Association (MUSA), Massey at Wellington Students’ Association (MAWSA), Extramural Students’ Association, or the Massive editor. MAWSA is an independent organisation that publishes Massive. Send any queries or complaints directly to Massive at editor@mawsa.org.nz. Massive is subject to the New Zealand Press Council. If a complainant is not satisfied with the response from Massive, the complaint may be referred to the Press Council: info@presscouncil.org.nz or online via presscouncil.org.nz.

Massive Magazine | Issue 07

Contents 6-9

10-21

NEWS

FEATURES

Massive’s got the scoop on what’s happening on (and off) Massey campuses nationwide.

Front and centre, our features investigate and probe at the issues or topics of the moment. Have a gander.

22-25

26-27 OPINION

ARTIST FEATURES In each issue we shine the spotlight on a talented student and their portfolio.

It could be you in the next issue!

This is the spot for all creative writing, thought pieces and anything else that makes you cock your head.

28-40 REGULARS The classics - The Unlonely Woman, Suffrage, Salivate, Blind Date and the rest all live on these back pages. We understand if you skip straight to them.

This Massive Magazine subject to NZ Media Council procedures. A complaint must first be directed in writing, within one month of publication, to the Massive Magazine email address. If not satisfied with the response, the complaint may be referred to the Media Council P O Box 10-879, The Terrace, Wellington 6143.

Or use the online complaint form at www. mediacouncil.org.nz

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Editorial

In honour of the theme of this issue, I thought I’d go back to the very first Spotify playlist I made and cringe at it.

I don’t know how I listened to music before 2015 but my first playlist coincided with my first year of university. It was also the first time I encountered unisex bathrooms in the halls of residence. Most people took their UE Booms into the shower and listened to music, so I figured I’d do the same.

Curating the perfect playlist in order to impress boys and attract like-minded friends was paramount. The playlist, titled ‘beat’ (???) was mostly Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes, The Black Keys, Interpol, Childish Gambino and The Neighbourhood.

I was still in my self-proclaimed indie, ‘you probably haven’t heard of this band(:’ phase at this point in time. I had Black Skinhead by Kanye West in there twice in the vain hope people would think I was ‘a bit ruckus’. I figured good taste in music was a great substitute for a personality. My fellow residents did not agree. “Who the FUCK is listening to rap at 10PM?” somebody would complain down the hall as I waddled, mortified, swaddled in my towel back to my room.

I say rap but they really said ‘black music’ because it was 2015 and most of the boys were white and from a farm in some backwater I’d never heard of.

2015 was also the year Foals released ‘What Went Down’ and Tame Impala released ‘Currents’, both of which are still my favourite two albums. In 2016, my best friend introduced me to Skepta and ‘Konnichiwa’ was the soundtrack to my second year of university. In 2017 I listened to ‘Frontier Psychiatrist’

by The Avalanches an unhealthy amount of times. Local Natives’ ‘Hummingbird’ album has gotten me through three breakups. I no longer spend the majority of my time eking out bands that I’m certain nobody would’ve heard of; I also don’t curate playlists as a friend-making strategy anymore. Now I just listen to music for the pure joy of it, even if it is Currents for the thousandth time. Looking through my Spotify was a cathartic experience and I urge anyone who wants to cringe at their wannabe teenage music taste to do the same.

–Laura Macdonald

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News The F*cking News 29/5/2020 Massive Magazine

Aviation students say the industry may take years to recover.

Credit: Massey University

Manawatu

AVIATION STUDENTS AT MASSEY WORRY FOR THE FUTURE

A

By James Pocock

viation students were some of the the cohorts behind his own will not have first students allowed to return any jobs available to them by the time they to on-campus learning on May graduate.

25th, with worries for their future in the industry.

“Depending on how long this goes on Air New Zealand has stopped 95% of its for, they may not be able to find a job operations for international flights while for another year or two after finishing Airways, New Zealand’s only Air Traffic their course,” he says.

Service provider, is proposing shutting down seven regional towers.

Blood went on to point out the largest

fragile right now may scare many people off the idea of doing the course.

Fewer enrolments could also have its own consequences in the long term.

As the current climate reduces the number of people willing to train as pilots, he predicts a future where there could be shortages of new trained pilots in the long term when the industry recovers.

Blood is happy with how Massey has dealt challenge that will be coming to new pilots with the quarantine and the changes it has or aviation management students looking brought for his course. for jobs in the wake of Covid-19.

“Massey and the aviation course “Miami Air, they went bankrupt and that’s coordinators have been very good. They’ve 300 pilots that need to go find other jobs”, pretty much always given us a rundown He is hopeful for the future in the domestic he says. “A lot of management students of what the school will be doing in each air industry but finds it difficult to foresee really want to go into air traffic control, level once it’s been announced by the what may happen with international and I know Airways, they’ve reduced by government and the CAA has released opportunities.

30% as well.” stuff. We have had people calling up, “Domestically, there might be the chance What this means is that aviation graduates asking how we’re doing in isolation, so of more jobs coming on offer, since the will be forced to compete with highly that’s been really good.” country has dealt with the virus so well, experienced counterparts who have lost but time will tell internationally.” their old jobs.

Third year student Jono Blood is part of the This could have a negative effect on flight instructor course at the Massey pilot enrolment numbers for aviation courses, school and sees himself in a slightly better not just at Massey, but everywhere. position in terms of job prospects than Blood says the reduction in active jobs other pilot students. However, he worries available and the airline industry being Third year Bachelor of Aviation Management student at Massey Liam Tyndall says the aviation industry could take many years before it returns to its pre Covid-19 state.

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Chief Executive of Women’s Refuge Dr Ang Jury. Credit: Women’s Refuge

National

18-24S ARE NOW THE FASTEST GROWING DEMOGRAPHIC SEEKING WOMEN’S REFUGE

By Alisha McLennan

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hief Executive of Women’s Refuge Dr Ang Jury says that young women are in increasing danger from domestic violence, and things could get worse in alert Level 2.

“Just because you’re doing business studies at Massey in Palmerston North and come from a nice, white, middle class background... it can still happen to you,” she said.

New Zealand already has the highest rate of domestic violence in the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development, and with the change to Level 2 Women’s Refuge is preparing for the possibility of a second-surge in cases.

The organisation has taken steps to be more accessible to younger women.

They updated contact services to include social media, and increased the number of younger women who work within the “It would be really surprising to me were organisation. we to escape that increase in demand,” she The organisation is making sure that all of their refuges are ready for that possibility. said.

Jury says that the typical media Ultimately, Jury emphasises that a false representation of the demographic that is alarm is preferable to an injury or a death. affected by domestic violence is inaccurate. Anyone can ask for help.

Although a large portion of their clientele “There’s no stigma attached to that. If you are married and older with children, she want help, you just have to reach out for it.” said, “The fastest growing client group are the 18-24s. Nobody is immune to this.”

IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR HELP • If you or a loved one is in immediate danger, phone police on 111 • Shine ‘Making homes violence free’ 0508744633 • 211 Helpline 0800211211 to find, and be transferred to, community-based health and social support services in your area.

• Find your Local Women’s Refuge: 0800 743 843 (0800 REFUGE).

• Family violence information line - call 0800 456 450 to find out about local services or how to help someone near you.

• Victim Support - call 0800 842 846.

24-hour service for all victims of serious crime.

Jury was unable to give a specific number of student cases, but said it does happen to university students.

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Students may miss receiving a direct refund into their bank accounts. Credit: IRD

National

IRD PULLS A SNEAKY ON STUDENTS’ TAX REFUNDS

By Tyler Hambleton

S

tudents’ tax refunds are set to go straight into paying off student loan payments due to IRD’s new ‘automatic tax process’.

The new process means that the normal tax return process will need little to no attention. The system is automatically set to pay off your student loan.

However, this is not outlined in any emails students have received regarding returns.

There are some benefits to an automatic refund; third party companies will not be able to take a slice of your return as they have in the past. These companies often charge people without the know-how to complete their return themselves.

Students who want the refund to go directly into their bank account will have to log in to the IRD website and change

Massive Magazine | Issue 07

some settings.

Log into myIR and head over to your student loan account. Click on the page that says ‘overpayment settings’, then click ‘no’.

Then head over to the drop down menu that lets you select what you want to do with your ‘overpayment’. Click ‘refund to me’.

Students should also check that bank details are up to date and fix any other arrears that may affect potential returns.

IRD could not be reached for comment on this new process.

Massey Tabletop club. Credit: ASA

Albany

ALBANY CLUBS AIM TO CONTINUE AT LEVEL 2

By Dani Molloy

A

for everyone – club members included – One club that has been looking for who often put in heaps of work!” Stone creative ways to keep members engaged is concluded. “So, I’d encourage students to the Albany Movie Club who have taken to support their clubs, if they can, by showing up to events and providing feedback about hosting Netflix streaming parties. things their club could do that would be of “It’s important for clubs to continue trying interest to students.” whatever they can throughout Level 2 On Wednesday 20th May, ASA hosted a because we need to keep our engagement If you’re interested in joining any club, you Zoom meeting where all ASA Affiliated up,” stated Movie Club President, Callum can do so by visiting the Albany Student Association’s webpage.

Clubs had the chance to speak with the Paterson.

Clubs and Activities Coordinator, the ASA General Manager and some of the ASA’s “Movie Club usually does group movie Student Executives about how their club sessions at the local Event Cinemas, will continue to operate at Level 2. but since they’re not reopening until lbany Student Association aspires to keep a sense of community alive for students during Level 2. One of the most vital ways that students can feel this sense of community is through their memberships with the association’s affiliated clubs.

Education Executive, Sophie Stone, explained that “clubs provide a really wide range of services that are super beneficial to students.” Stone believes that clubs offer “opportunities for socialising, getting general or academic advice, trying something new and being part of a community.”

Stone attests that it’ll be in students’ best interests for clubs to continue during Level 2 as being part of a club provides students with a sense of “normalcy and continuation” during this inconsistent

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time period.

films begin to be released again, we’ve been looking into other options” Patterson explained.

“We are doing some research and have started talking to other clubs from Massey and the Auckland Uni Film Society to try and get some fresh ideas rolling.

The tabletop club has also been operating online, hosting biweekly games of Jackbox over Discord and the investment club is continuing to host regular meetings.

“I know it’s a difficult time right now

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WHAT YOUR MUSIC TASTE SAYS ABOUT YOU

Tyler Hambleton

Fortunately for the human race we all have different preferences when it comes to the music that enters our precious ear holes. Unfortunately the human race also thrives off conflict and we often look down on people for their musical preferences; hence the reason I am here writing this today. In 700-800 words I am going to pigeon-hole you into a stereotype based on your music taste, bad or not.

COUNTRY

POP

Hailing from the small town of Napier on the East coast of this lovely country, I was exposed to country music at a young age.

If you are still listening to it you probably still haven’t left your small town.

Alright, since I spent around 300 words dogging the genre of country I will keep this next part a bit shorter. Pop; we all seem to hate it, but you just cannot deny the catchiness of the numerous bangers that have been released within the genre in the past few years.

Country is a niche genre; the majority of the audience is either over forty or still stuck in their days of ‘shed’ drinking with the same old boys that they grew up with.

While driving through rural towns I often see numerous cans of bourbon and cola on the road, which I can only assume is thrown from moving utes on the drive home from a woolshed party (hopefully with a designated sober bro or the missus in the driver’s seat).

It may seem as if I am only talking about the males present within this audience, I’m not. Females also fit into this audience - their drink preference may change to either a KGB (if they still exist) or a Smirnoff Ice, more specifically the one with the black label.

Since this demographic still lives in their small towns, their attire may consist of some ilabb jeans complemented with a Swanndri for those nights that you don’t make it home and sleep on the old shed couch. If you are of the other gender you’re probably rocking some Glassons black skinny jeans with a pair of Converse, (low top or high top, the opportunities are endless). Oh, don’t forget the puffer vest as well!

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This includes Lizzo’s extremely popular song ‘Juice’ that sounds like more of a throwback to the 80’s than a 2019 pop track. To be honest I am finding it extremely hard to figure out what the demographic and audience of pop is in this day and age, I’m guessing it goes a little like this though.

You wake up, straighten your hair, check if your favourite YouTube vlogging couple has a new upload (you cry a little when they don’t), then chuck on some Top 40 soul sucking bullshit to start your day with.

Despite my soul sucking bullshit comment I can’t hate on the genre, I can although hate on the capitalist framework in which it exists but let’s not get into that.

Pop has many offshoots, my favourite is where our favourite two New Zealanders excel within, alternative-pop. I’m talking about Lorde and of course our more recent Tik Tok superstar Benee. If you listen to this genre you are either a fourteen year old girl, a twenty four year old male (me) or literally anybody else.

RAP

HOUSE/TECHNO

Next up is rap, a genre that I have in the past been heavily immersed in. My friends are all Soundcloud rappers, no hate though, you will get there one day boys!

Alright, time to be a tad nicer. If you listen to house and techno I can almost guarantee you take molly on a weekly basis and in pre-Covid days frequented the Laundry bar and Club 121.

If you listen to rap - which is now one of the most popular genres in the world so I guess you can call it pop too - you probably have an obsession with sneakers, smoke weed and think you are God’s gift to the world.

If you hail from New Zealand’s capital Wellington I can guarantee you can be found in Betty’s smoking area every weekend chatting shit about how you and your crew are going to blow up soon.

If you are based anywhere else in the country other than Auckland or Wellington then to be frank you probably don’t listen to the genre.

You also probably tell everybody in the smoking area at the club about that one time you went to Berlin and are now somewhat of a more interesting person because of it.

If you are from Auckland you are probably actually pretty well respected and keep putting in the work on K Road to get to where you want to be.

Most people that are obsessed with the genre also participate in contributing to the genre. Keep making those beats bro and maybe one day you will have more than 100 followers on your social media platforms.

I’m sorry for my vast generalisations and I do apologise for any offence taken to them.

I will say one thing, listen to what you want and don’t let anybody tell you are lame because of it my favourite artist, for example, is Bruce Springsteen.

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REPRESSED MEMORIES:

TUMBLR

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The year is 2014. I’ve just walked home from the bus stop and kicked off my school regulation black leather Converse (low tops, obviously). Mum will tell me to get out of my school uniform soon but I’ve already parked up on my bed with my prehistoric Dell laptop. I can’t decide whether to play R U Mine? by Arctic Monkeys or Intro

by The XX. I log into tumblr.com and start re-blogging content that resonates with my undiagnosed depression. I’m wishing I had Doc Martens, a nicotine addiction and a toxic relationship with Matty Healy, the lead singer of The 1975. I’ve just reblogged a text post that reads, “I wish I kissed you so much fucking more. I’m sorry.” I’m 17 and the only kiss I’ve ever experienced was a drunken peck with my crush at someone’s 16th supervised birthday party. The year is 2014 and mental illness is in fashion.

Looking through the archives, I can almost pinpoint when my depression and anxiety started manifesting. Tall poppy syndrome was rife at my high school and any success needed to be doused immediately by complete

The Music Issue

exclusion from social circles. All of a sudden my blog was no longer full of over saturated fisheye lens photos of longboards and girls with long ‘mermaid’ hair. Self-deprecating text posts and black and white GIFS with problematic captions were in. I was glorifying abusive relationships and romanticising depression and eating disorders as some sort of coping mechanism. In hindsight, I was only making things worse for myself.

Tumblr became somewhere I only went when I was feeling depressed.

If I was to post these photos (fished from the archives of my blog, which I now consider a historical artefact) on Instagram in 2020, I would be lynched.

It’s nice to think how far we’ve come as a society, and how we can look back and laugh about our futile teenage selves lusting after Arctic Monkeys AM logo shirts and BLK water bottles.

You can make fun of Gen Z TikTok fanatics all you want, but at least they’re doing dance challenges and painting hydroflasks instead of locking themselves away in their bedrooms reposting photos of self-harm scars.

The Tumblr generation is glowing now (mostly due to the government finally putting funding into raising awareness about mental health). They’re running self-love Instagram pages and drinking water and going to regular counselling.

They check up on their friends and try to exercise a couple of times a week because they know it’s good for them. Sometimes they talk about that one unassuming person from school that had a graphic BDSM Tumblr blog and wonder if they’re doing okay now. They’re proactively working on their issues instead of glorifying them behind a screen. The year is 2020 and self-care is in fashion.

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TOM VERBERNE

Auckland-based songwriter Tom Verberne.

New Zealand Music Month is an important time for any artist, small or big, within the music industry. I caught up with 20-year-old Auckland based songwriter Tom Verberne about all things music, music month and the obvious, isolation.

How was lockdown for you?

It was good for the first two weeks, I was like, “Cool, I have a whole bunch of shit that I wanna do,” and I did quite a little bit of it, and by week three I was like… what do I even write about anymore? It was weird. It’s weird not having the release of hanging out with people. It’s nice to work on music and then hang out with someone. But when you have all day to do it, it becomes a bit daunting.

super, but I feel like more stuff happens up here, even just from an industry standpoint. I think it’s probably a better move for me as an artist to live here, but I guess we will wait and see!

NZ Music Month is obviously quite different this year. You recently participated in Two Daze and were challenged to make a song in 48 hours.

Run me through that process.

It was pretty wild. Usually my process is that I work on a song, leave it for a month, and then I come back and finish it off if I still like it. I made ‘Didn’t Have You’ in 24 hours, but I think that’s the only song I’ve made in a day, ever. With Two Daze, I basically made one song, decided I didn’t really like it apart from the drums. So, I took the drums and made a new song from it and ended up using that song. The Obviously as an ex-Massey student, a few of the readers might know who you next day I made a bridge and literally are. What was your overall experience at sent it off with like two minutes left.

It was a cool experience, I enjoyed not Massey like? having to dwell on things, like not The thing that I enjoyed most about spend a week wondering whether that studying music at Massey was meeting melody is amazing or terrible. Like you a bunch of like minded people. I came kinda just had to do it; but there’s a fair from a small town in the Waikato and I few things that I would change about didn’t really know how to make music that track, but it’s like that with all my friends let alone friends in general songs anyway. lol, but it was great. I met Maxwell [Young], the Stink guys (R.I.P. Stink) How important is the collaborative and heaps others. It was great to process for you, and is it at all essential just have the time to work on music, whether that be for school or your own. before you put something out?

It’s a cool mindset to get into.

I usually rely on my friends for

Going on from that, what led you to leave Massey and relocate to Auckland?

I wanted to work on my music 100%.

I felt like I was having my creativity drained a bit. I wanted to be able to put all my efforts, and have a tunnel vision on my music. The Welly music scene is

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feedback. Like with my upcoming album I did pretty much all of it myself, apart from a couple of songs. But I usually rely on my friends for feedback to be like ‘yeah, that bit’s cool’ or, ‘yeah, that vocal take sucks,’ just because it reinforces your opinions, or makes you doubt it more. But I would say it is

essential, I wouldn’t even think about putting a song out without having shown all my friends and getting notes from them. I need to do more proper collaboration, especially now I can hang out with people again!

I found you through your first album ‘All kinds of red’. How do you think you’ve changed/evolved as an artist?

I feel like with my first album, I just put it out because they were songs that I had finished and I was in the mindset of like, ‘Why not?’. I think in terms of the music, my production has way more depth now, and my song writing has progressed more as well. I feel like with that album, it would’ve been cool if I ditched half the songs and made it an EP or something– there’s definitely some that I still like, but a lot of them, I just put them out because I felt like I should, not because I enjoyed them. I feel like the last album was me kinda trying to look for my own sound and voice, the new album found it. But I do think I am continually changing, I’m pretty impressionable.

Give me some music recs. Who should people be listening to?

Yuki just dropped an album, Three Quarter Marathon, Stupid Rich Kid, Maxwell Young, Lontalius, Billy La Signy, George Barney Roberts, and my brother’s going under Charles Rupert, he just dropped his first song - get on that shit!

What’s next for Tom Verberne?

I have a single coming out in two weeks, an album next month, and I’m trying to finish off an EP for after the album release. And then who knows!

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Bassic bitches:

Behind the outward facade of poise and decorum, orchestras are just as messy as your stereotypical American high school, with cliques and clichés that tend to fit most ensembles of musical misfits.

Your standard 80 piece orchestra can be broken down into 4 sections: strings, woodwind, brass and percussion, each as hilariously awkward as the rest.

In the strings you’ve got the violins, firsts and seconds. The firsts are the genetically modified prodigies that could play Vivaldi before they learnt how to walk. There is a not so subtle elitism to the way they act because they know they’re better than you. They move an alarming amount when they perform, and you worry that the second chair is going to rip the page off on page turns.

The seconds are the ragtag bunch of not-as-good violinists that either didn’t make the cut for firsts or have ins with the conductor. Their biggest fear is getting called on and having to play by themselves during rehearsals, with beads of sweat visible all the way at the back by the timpanis.

keep to themselves, even within their section and just watch the drama unfold from afar. Typical of most of the bass instruments, most their time is spent waiting for their cue or playing one note per bar for 60 bars. They live in constant fear of snapping a string and being asked to play the Jaws theme song.

If there’s a harp in your orchestra, they’re usually super humble and definitely have a sore back, like the double basses, from having to drag it everywhere.

We move onto the woodwinds, starting with the flutes. Usually very well put together, they’re punctual and behave themselves. They just want to be your best friend but will forget your name the second you tell them.

Piccolos look adorable but will literally cut you.

Clarinets are very busy and have a lot on their plate. They are very serious about playing the clarinet and will tend to double book themselves a lot. They own a minimum of 3 clarinets that live in an obnoxiously large briefcase and don’t tend to associate themselves to Next are the violas, who are just odd. No bass clarinets. other way of putting it, they tend to be Oboes tend to be given more a little awkward, probably read online responsibility than they really want. The fanfic and cosplay for Armageddon. entire orchestra has to tune to them They’re the most bullied section in the and that’s a lot of pressure to always orchestra, and you’re bound to find the be in tune. They have sore lips from most memes about them and piccolos. constantly impersonating a grandma and are always seen with a water bottle.

Cellos are basically first violins except Daddy had more money. Their hard Bassoons are a combo of the violas and travel cases are covered in stickers from cellos, i.e. oddballs, but tend to get a all their tours and they know Saintfar greater number of solos. They get Saëns’s “The Swan” off by heart. randomly checked at airports because The section principal takes their job way the instrument literally looks like a rocket launcher. The woodwind section too seriously and will sometimes make have their own group chat and don’t the mistake of thinking they’re the invite the rest of the orchestra to go principal for the double basses too. bowling.

Speaking of, the double basses are the least problematic of the strings, and maybe the orchestra. They tend to

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The brass are the more elusive of the sections, the only thing connecting

them being spit (you’ll see what I mean). They’re the first to the biscuits during the tea break and the last back.

The floor around them is littered with spit puddles that you’d be unlucky to step in.

The trumpets get the part melodies and have to do the least work to be loud.

They are the last ones to stop playing when the conductor stops the orchestra and walk a fine line between loveable and cocky.

Trombones think they’re so cool.

During school visits they get the most attention from kids wanting to play with the slide. Emptying their spit valve ends up being an orchestra wide event because everyone needs to comment on how gross it is.

French horns are the unsolved enigma of the orchestra. Half the time they’re paired with the brass, the other with woodwinds. They read books during breaks and can sometimes be seen with wrist braces. The most exciting thing they get to do is play fanfares and lift their bells up.

Tubas give the best hugs, hands down.

You can’t not love a tuba player because they’re helpful and supportive, all while cradling an instrument the size of a small teenager between their legs.

The percussion have the most fun seeing as they just have to hit things to make music. It’s magic how usually only a couple people end up playing 20 different instruments between themselves. The biggest mistake you’ll make is assuming it’s easy to play the triangle, because they will throw hands.

Having just exposed the orchestra for the messy bitch that it is, you might be a bit uneasy - put off, even. But don’t let that stop you from going to a performance; just because the principal cellist is sleeping with the conductor, doesn’t mean they’re not going to play some damn good Mozart.

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Discovering Dungeons & Dragons

Dani Molloy

Despite being a game that once fell strictly within the realm of nerds, Dungeons and Dragons has had a huge resurgence of popularity over recent years and is now a prominent artifact of pop-culture.

The tabletop role-play game, which was once reserved for social outcasts dwelling in their mother’s basement, now has over 40 million players worldwide and has featured on prominent television shows such as The Big Bang Theory, Stranger Things and Community.

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That evening, I was transported from a dingy flat and into a mythical world where a firbolg, a warforged, a gnome and a high-elf could defeat a giant lobster-like creature and still find time to share a feast with a village of goblins.

In 2020, more than 45 years since the first edition of Dungeons and Dragons was released, the game is more popular than ever.

I have to admit, the five hour long game time was a tad tedious, however, I admired their enthusiasm. And I could definitely understand the appeal of a game that made every player a storyteller.

Having never played before, I decided to join some avid D&D enthusiasts on a campaign and see what all the hype was about. After bumbling my way through a myriad of articles and podcasts on how to make a good character, I was ready to play.

“Dungeons and Dragons is about creating a story around a fictional character that has input from not just one person but the entire group,” said Chris, an avid D&D player from the campaign. “It’s like having one book but it’s written by several authors.”

And to my own surprise, I enjoyed it!

After overcoming the initial confusion of watching a group of twentysomethings express genuine concern over the ‘constitution’ of a fictional troll, my skepticism subsided and I found myself immersed in the fantasy realm that these boys adored.

Chris explained that D&D is about living a more exciting life than we have, without facing any of the consequences of living that sort of life.

“You get to live the life of a great hulking beast or a very sly and cunning rogue. You can even be a very lonesome ranger on the very fringes of society –

it’s like acting but with less pressure.”

As a role-playing game, D&D offers personalisation and creativity to its gameplay that many players feel they can’t receive from online gaming. D&D’s success, unlike many tabletop games, hasn’t depleted due to the emergence of online gaming.

Instead, D&D has continued to grow in popularity with video games like League of Legends or TV Shows such as HBO’s Game of Thrones, enticing more people into the fantasy genre.

“I think that’s the attractive part of D&D – you can really tailor the game to the people playing it, which you can’t do with online games,” Chris said.

“Online games have a base set of rules for people across the world to play.”

Matzi, a science student and experienced Dungeon Master, explained that his interest in D&D occured after seeing its media depictions and hearing about the game from some of his friends. Eventually, he decided to start his own group in 2018 and this group is still together in 2020.

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“Being a Dungeon Master, you have essentially created a story with your friends as the main characters,” he explained. “Your job is to not only challenge your players but to also put them in situations that will allow them to shine.”

Chris, James and Matzi all agreed that they’d encourage anyone with even a passing interest to give Dungeons and Dragons a try. Matzi offered advice for prospective Dungeon Masters who may be interested in starting a campaign for their friend group.

“If you want to become a Dungeon Master, I’d highly recommend reading through some published adventures and maybe playing one of those while adding your own spin,” he shared.

“I’d also recommend watching other people play,” Matzi added. “There are some great streams and podcasts of people playing that can give you more knowledge of the game’s mechanics and how it flows.”

D&D is a game that feeds into our human desire for escapism, and yet you’ll find yourself reconnecting with the people you entered the game with.

Despite my reservations, I enjoyed my night of D&D and was able to conceal my confusion for the most part. D&D gave me the opportunity to see some friends I hadn’t seen in a while and to pretend I was a Princess Elf on a quest to save her people.

Honestly, there are worse ways to spend a Tuesday night.

James agreed; “Reading the Dungeon Master’s guide is a simple way to understand how a D&D game is run.

The only way to truly become a good Dungeon Master is to do it. You’ll discover what you’re good at and what can be improved and each session will run better than the last.”

19

Love Letter to Autumn Dear Autumn, I’ve just had an interesting thought.

It came to me at the very moment the last dead leaf fell off the tree, the second the air turned to an unfriendly, bitter kind of cold. This year is the first in a long time that I’ve taken the time to fully appreciate you as a season.

March, April and May are always a three-month flurry of activity in the school and university year, and I’ve been buried in an endless pit of assignments during these months since I can remember.

This autumn certainly hasn’t been any different in terms of workload, but every other facet of life was dramatically different than any other year. It’s no biggie, but the entire country was in lockdown because of a global pandemic.

So the circumstances leading me to appreciating you were, I admit, a little grim. And I suppose I have been kind of forced to bask in your glory - my bedroom window sits right in front of a whole lot of deciduous trees. But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate you for who you are! And that’s undoubtedly the most superior season of all.

I mean, where do we start? The colours alone are enough to get me going - the entire world lights up!

Trees turn into a single slow burning flame, the shadows are longer and darker, and there’s this deep indigo in the sky at dusk that only happens in these months.

There’s something about the wizardry of those stark colours that reminds me of a Pixar movie montage - the ones that ooze bittersweet nostalgia, where the characters reflect on their lives before moving on, with a jazzy piano motif playing over top. I also have a powerful attachment between these crispy hues and the sights and sounds of Frozen II; seeing the crunchy leaves fills me with Elsa’s ‘Into The Unknown’ vigour. I’m sensing that I may have watched too many animated films over this season, but I don’t have one regret.

Moving swiftly along, it would be a crime not to mention the frankly delightful activities that go hand in hand with this season. It’s the endless mugs of tea and the strong urge to constantly be listening to smooth jazz (a correlation I am yet to understand). The sunny days are spent aggressively stomping on leaves, and the rainy days are spent staring longingly out the window (has my life become a Pixar movie?)

And then there are the associations with the American ‘fall’ - the spooky season, Thanksgiving and the pumpkin spiced latte, which is essentially notable enough to require a date on the calendar. You better believe that I’m experiencing this autumnal American dream vicariously through the movies, and although the pumpkin spiced latte and other fads have attempted to capitalise on this divine season, I am all too pleased to indulge, because it adds to the autumnal joy.

There’s plenty more to appreciate about you, autumn, and even though I’ll undoubtedly be buried in an endless pile of work this time next year, I’ll try my darndest to appreciate you more. I know you’re dead now, but just like Fawkes the Phoenix, you’ll be back again in no time. So I’ll see you next year.

Yours sincerely, Tessa Guest

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What was the last thing you wrote in your notes on your phone?

“If I told you I’d have to kill you.”

“Ideas for boyfriends bday presents.” “‘Cauliflower $2.5.’”

“Added a name to my list of boys.” “‘Can you tell ___ happy Mother’s Day and tell her thank you for being like a second mum for us.’” “‘1737 text anytime.’” “‘Embrace the ‘darkness’ in my life as it gives depth to other colour. Not to invalidate my emo.’” “‘I could’ve done so many cool things in life, if I’d just let myself.’”

“Review of my favourite insect.” “‘I’m sorry.’” “‘Stop procrastinating, your assignments are due.’” “‘I owe Andrew $20.’” “‘Atm my only contribution to dismantling the patriarchy is not wearing makeup.’”

(Laura Macdonald, Editor) Doyle - Spiral pasta Couple tomatoes Mandarin Apple Bananas Pickle Snack Coconut water Hummus Sausage Salami.’”

(Tyler Hambleton, Wellington Staff Writer) “I updated my body count list.” (Aryaman Parulkar, Manawatu Staff Writer) “I don’t use the notes app, but my friend keeps a list of dumb things our friends say whilst high.

The most recent addition is ‘I totally get why moths are attracted to light, I went closer and I knew philosophy.’” (Dani Molloy, Albany Staff Writer)

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ZARIAH WILSON Describe your work in an elevator pitch I am a ‘sketchbook’ illustrator and graphic designer, I use traditional and digital illustration to explore sci-fi concepts, mythological caricatures, spirituality and human expression.

What degree did you study at university?

Visual Communication Design (Hons) majoring in Graphic Design

Do you have any advice for budding artists/designers?

To enjoy the journey of creating over the end result. In art, there is no such thing as a bad idea or the right way to do something, which can often be forgotten when we are constantly told what is trending. You will feel it in your gut when you’re doing something amazing, stick with that intuition and the rest will follow.

What do you love most about art/design and why?

I don’t know of a time in my life when I wasn’t doing something creative. I’ve always felt calm doing it, somewhere where I could be transported where logic and reason didn’t exist. I’ve always enjoyed that something could be expressed but not necessarily be understood the same by everyone. Where semantics didn’t matter and discussions could still be had. The fluidity of being inspired and influenced, and expressing those ideas through the creation of art has always fascinated me.

How can I follow you on social media?

Follow me on @zarh.t

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Massive Magazine | Issue 07

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Eat, Pray, Fuck Tatted Twink

The Climax Some people look back at their sex life and aim to forget it. Others find it boring and hardly speak of it. I however embrace discussing my sex life which could easily be described as A Series of Unfortunate Events. Here are the basics; I’m a queer guy and the family somehow doesn’t know despite all the mesh and jeans so tight you can taste the denim through your asshole. In this particular weekly series, we will cover my family trip around Europe. Most family trips entail ugly photos, tours and sightseeing. My family trip did include all of these, however it also doubled as a 2-week bender, an international sex-scapade and a toupee the size of a small hamster.

This recount has hardly been chronological, but we are at its end.

This story is quite a pleasant one and by far the most memorable. I had spoken to this boy in Florence. I had hoped to hook-up for the night, however we found that we were both heading to Rome and organised for a date. After settling into the hotel, we met for coffee at a bar outside the Colosseum.

The setting was so fuckin’ romantic that we could’ve been played by two heterosexual white men, unsure of their sexuality, but definitely willing to fuck a peach. However, we were two carbon copy twinks and I’m not white.

After trying to find one another whilst lapping around the Colosseum like some Tom and Jerry cartoon, we met and had an awkward sort of ‘hello’ as expected and sat down for coffee. The date was only supposed to take an hour but the conversation, much like Prince Charles’ hairline, just kept going.

With the sun setting over the Colosseum, we covered a few key things. His obsession with ‘Call Me

by Your Name’, his love for his mum and a €8000 one-night stand with an old man he had turned down as he was, “worried they wouldn’t have a connection”. Basically, concluding that he is, at least morally, a much better

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person than I am. Add on the good looks and pretty smile, I was absolutely smitten.

The next day was full of anticipation and thorough douching. Then came the evening, at this point my snitch of a sister had made me tell my parents who reluctantly agreed I be back by midnight like some gay Cinderella.

I was off, douched and ready, accessorised with mesh, tight jeans and glitter pasties; a smart casual look.

I had agreed to meet him across town at his apartment and then go to the party. We meet there and start walking, only to realise he had forgotten his wallet. So, after another gruelling lap back, we boarded the train. Turns out two gays have about as much a sense of direction as a de-finned shark. We had taken the train in the wrong direction.

Realising our mistake, we catch it in the right direction and get off at the right station.

More walking aimlessly, having a few shots along the way, we find the place, literally titled “Gay Village” on a nearby billboard. It had two massive stages of performers, multiple drag queens and an even bigger dance floor, something that my Family-Bar-going ass was in awe of.

The shots along the way had finally caught up with me and I mustered

up the courage to kiss this boy, who I wasn’t sure liked me at all. From there on it was making out in a range of spots. From a random couch, to just a quiet patch of grass at this event. In our minds it was like a romance novel, but realistically was just shy of public indecency.

At about 3am we left the venue.

We walked around some more and drunkenly had the bright idea to look for a place to ‘ride the midnight jockey’.

The context of this is that Rome has had more facelifts than Joan Rivers, placing the other River, Tiber, 20m below the city streets. So, we go down all the way to the point of sitting on the river’s edge.

We start getting it on, the foreplay already makes me nervous as despite the scrawniness of this boy, he was in fact hung like a Germanic horse.

We attempt briefly to use a condom and abandon it, releasing it like a salmon to swim upstream (romantic I know). The sex was great. Only slightly uncomfortable with positions like doggy resulting with my face in the sandy steps like a fearful Emu. This encounter doubled as a one-way ticket to hell as it wasn’t just public gay fornication, it was geographically positioned right next to the goddamn Vatican City. You know the one, with

Tom Hanks, paedophiles and home of the OG homo: Leonardo Da Vinci.

do. Until someone posts a thirst trap on their story.

With the adrenaline of public sex and alcohol wearing off and the absolute carnage that is probably my lower intestine, we wrap things up.

I am momentarily comforted by the rising sun. Wait. Fuck. The sun is up.

Realising this I quickly finish things off and power walk the 10km home with this boy attempting to romantically hold my hand.

This concludes the series. Thank you all for reading, laughing and hopefully not prolapsing. I know, it’s been a journey and I could pretend it’s some massive lesson, but I really am just a young guy finding his place in the world, even if my ideal mode of transport is riding dick.

I panic message my sister to tell her I’m alive and to not snitch. I walk at the pace of a white woman on the street walking past a Porirua KFC. The rising sun is taunting me like the baby from the Teletubbies.

Yours truly, The Tatted Twink

Until next time, this has been upsettingly comedic.

We get there. I’m so fucking late. He kisses me goodbye. I run upstairs to find my parents pissed. Like Brown Parent pissed. Anyway, I have no time to shower and therefore am stuck hungover, sandy and with a sore asshole on this god-awful bus for hours. The unfortunate reality of this was that if I was 15 minutes early, I would not have been caught.

This boy and I would text often, talking about life, quoting Call Me

by Your Name and other romantic microaggressions I won’t delve into, as they suggest I have human feelings.

Eventually we grow distant like all gays

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The Unlonely Woman Confidence or cockiness? Men will go on about how they want an independent woman and they find their confidence so sexy.

In the last few years I’ve noticed more and more men who will openly say this. Sis, it’s a fraud. It’s literally a trick they use to make them seem more attainable to us. We think, “Wow, a man who can accept me for me”. Rub my clit and call it a day. Then off they go. I’ve stopped falling for this line which is actually sad in my eyes. We will say how we like confident women and put them on a pedestal but low and behold it’s a dick trick (trick to get you on their dick). I was fortunate enough to grow up in an equal household where both parents cooked, cleaned and I’ve never once been told I can’t do anything. If anything, my parents have always told me to go for what I want. So that’s what I do but it’s so funny when I sit here thinking about how 10 guys in the last year have told me I’m intimidating. Apparently, a woman who has her shit together, is confident and independent is intimidating? I’m so confused because those are actually traits I find so sexy in a guy. It’s like in society even though we preach about women’s rights and equality we still aren’t at a stage where we fully accept it. Who would have thought I’d be writing a column about accepting women?

Back in the day, women were made to take the man’s last name in marriage because the woman would stay home and look after the kids. We were deemed the man’s property because he provided for us so we had to have his last name. Nowadays my friends and I don’t expect shit from a man.

I go on dates expecting to pay and actually go in thinking of myself on a

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level playing field as the guy because, well, I have my own money and frankly I don’t need them to complete me. I complete myself. Gone are the days where men provided for women and most of us don’t expect it now. We don’t go into dates wondering how you can provide for us, how much money you make or what your job is. The only thing a man has to offer me and the only thing I look for in a man is their great personality. Men can no longer go into a date thinking their pay scale is enough.

This is not an ‘I hate men’ column and I also don’t think all men are like this. It’s more so an FYI to my fellow sisters that we are strong, independent woman and that is something we should love about ourselves. For me to seriously date someone now they need to actually put in some sort of effort and have a great personality because frankly, I do not care how much they make or the fact they’re taking over the family business. I have myself and can provide for myself and don’t expect that from anyone. Before anyone pipes up and says I’m cocky… stay in your lane. Confidence is about knowing you’re the shit. Cockiness is the moment you walk around thinking you’re better than everyone else which is not the case with me.

The only person we should ever be in competition with is ourselves and that’s it.

Climate

Corner Connie Sellers

No Time to Rush

2020 has been quite something. I’m not going to pretend we’re out of the woods just yet. Last time we made such predictions after the forest fires, we were severely mistaken. Like many of you, I returned to my family home for the duration of lockdown.

As I pack my bags and prepare for my departure back into reality, I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learnt from my time back home.

I acknowledge that for some people, lockdown has not been a time of leisure and relaxation. But for those lucky enough to have taken this time as a pause from reality, we may have learnt an important thing or two.

For me, lockdown meant returning to my family home tucked away in the secluded countryside. I grew up labelling myself as a city person born for the hustle and bustle of the metropolitan lifestyle. I still possess a childhood fantasy of walking around London in red stilettos, looking awfully busy and important, clutching a briefcase of files. I still hold these aspirations; I don’t believe city life and the urban sprawl represent all things bad. However, I do believe that some of us city dwellers subconsciously rely on hits of materialistically derived dopamine every day. Thus, in the absence of material consumption, and with the closure of our usual cafes and bars, we were made to find alternative forms of entertainment.

There seems to be a level of desperation to return to our normal ways of life. However, before doing so, I believe there are lessons we can learn from our former lockdown

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selves which could lead to a better and more sustainable way of living. For the past month, our consumer habits have (most likely) declined. A global lockdown of much of the world’s shipping capacity erects a solid barrier between me and an online order - $50 shipping, pass. We have survived without fast-food chains. It may have been hard, but we have all survived lockdown without a single takeout.

So instead of giving your coin to a multi-billion dollar franchise, invest in local businesses. With no reason to drive, people have taken up alternative forms of transport. This is perhaps the first time in around eight years that I have seen my dad ride a bike it’s fantastic.

much time to fit in as many leisurely activities to fulfil our dopamine demands non-materially. But there are certainly elements of this sanguine period which we can implement into our usual routine. In New Zealand, we have proven that we can cooperate and act fast in order to eliminate a threat. So I encourage anyone reading to apply the same energy towards climate change - it looms on the horizon in an insidious way just as Covid-19 has.

NIWA has reported a significant drop in traffic pollution in Wellington during lockdown. At the end of March, Auckland’s nitrogen oxide levels dropped off by as much as 90 percent at times - this was for the first time in more than a decade.

The Packaging Forum estimates that lockdown saved 2 million takeaway cups from going into the landfill. You will be happy to hear that several cafes are allowing customers to bring reusable cups again. Though some cafes are not allowing it, the Ministry of Health has not advised against it.

Ashley Bloomfield simply said not to if you are experiencing flu like symptoms. These examples illustrate how our change of behaviour in such a short period shows the power we have to create a grand difference.

Understandably, when life returns to the usual 9 to 5, we won’t have as

29

Suffrage Tess Patrick

What a spanner in the works that was.

It’s not like we didn’t see it coming, but you would assume they would at least feign graciousness and let Simon and Paula bow out after the flop of an election. The disappointing resume of Todd Muller highlights his claim to fame as being on the receiving end of Chloe’s ‘ok boomer’ and looking vaguely like the illegitimate love child of Steven Joyce.

Credit where credit is due to be fair, he actually hauled ass when it came to getting the support of the right on the Zero Carbon Bill, but his poor taste in office decor deters from that silver lining.

In case you haven’t seen the memes, the new leader of the opposition has a Make America Great Again cap on display in his office, and despite it hardly fitting in the mid-century chic of 2020, it’s the facist symbol of our generation. He does have an interest in American politics - but a close friend recently compared that to someone with an interest in German politics displaying a swastika on their bookshelf. Either way, this stupid snapback is very telling of our potential new Prime Minister’s A) impassioned values and/or B) poor judgment and taste. These two attributes were the nail in the coffin for the previous leaders of this rapidly ageing party.

But did we really expect any less? After his address to the press that vaguely resembled Professor Umbridge’s ‘progress for progress’ sake’ and attempt to establish himself as the average, family-focused Kiwi bloke, nothing shocks me anymore.

I’ve never shied away from my political leanings and I always welcome a debate. I’ll happily admit when I’m

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wrong (although issues of morality are contentious) and as far as right wing politicians go I actually like Nikki Kaye.

Sure, we disagree on fundamental issues of capitalism and classism, but I applaud her stance on issues of morality such as the abortion law reform. It’s a rare breed in the National Party - but I think the caucus has realised that she’s the right’s best answer to our much loved fearless leader.

So while Mr Muller may seem like five steps backwards, perhaps Nikki is a tiptoe forward.

But speaking of independent millennial (white) women, Jacinda has sparked my interest in recent days. It wasn’t her grace as she handled an earthquake while on live-cross, but a further chance to change our new normal.

Let’s simultaneously celebrate our government’s wins while holding them to account in areas that require improvement.

Jacinda’s push for a four-day working week is a clever strategy, leaving the power in the hands of the employer, but it’s also an extremely impressive tactic for restarting our tourism industry. New Zealand is a country like no other. There are so many times I wish I had explored my backyard before leaving to explore another, but when I consider it, the opportunity was never there. Summers were spent working, uni weekends were spent shitfaced because it was too long to make it worth driving anywhere. But in a post c-word Aotearoa, this goddamn plan might just work.

Salivate Tess Patrick

Salivate is here to help you get the most out of your measly student meals, while still making the most of your weekend.

Nothing makes me more homesick than the humble cheese scone. It’s not a thing in Australia. If you mention you’re craving one on your morning smoko you’ll be greeted with, ‘What, like a scone with a slice of fucking cheese in it?!’ Australians still regularly eat plastic cheese so I’m not trusting their judgment. But the reality is, a cheese scone is as iconically New Zealand as rippa rugby and jump jam. So this is a love letter to my favourite baked good.

It’s the first thing I do the second I get off the plane (lucky for me Mojo at the airport pulls out all the stops); it might

just be the thing that makes the world go round.

My first crate day in Australia I entertained my friends with some Dave Dobbyn and Scribe by the pool (they don’t sell crates here) and made some subpar cheese scones to enjoy. They were a bit dry and now there’s some cognitive dissonance in my social circle where my friends think they’re a crate day delicacy (and not that good), but determined to prove them wrong I’ve spent the last 18 months trying. And I finally cracked the perfect recipe. It couldn’t have been easier.

There’s almost no nutritional value to this national dish, so that’s going to have to slide this week, but take the opportunity to tuck into a slice of home comfort. And if I’ve learnt anything during my time as a slut for cheese scones, make sure you heat it in the toastie maker and smear it with some lovely golden butter. They’re also bloody easy to make vegan or gluten-free if you so desire (recently diagnosed celiac reporting for duty) - you’ll know where to find your go-to alternatives.

That’s a slice of home comfort right there.

Ingredients

Method to the Madness:

600gm self-raising flour (any gluten-free

1. Preheat oven on fan bake to 200C.

blend works)

2. Combine cheese, buttermilk, salt and cayenne in a bowl.

500gm grated cheese (tasty or cheddar is

3. Slowly sift in your self-raising flour and stir until it is just mixed.

best, you know) 600mL buttermilk (mix plant-based milk with 2tbsp vinegar and rest for 10 mins for vegan alternative) Pinch cayenne pepper Pinch salt

4. Form into 12 scone shapes, you can brush with a little extra buttermilk to get nice and golden.

5. Dust with a little more cayenne and a sprinkle of cheese and place into the oven on a couple of trays with baking paper. Make sure the oven is heated to 200C before putting in or you’ve fucked it.

6. Bake for 15 minutes. It may take a little longer, so you be the judge, and you’ll know when they’re done.

7. Cool (but not too much) and enjoy with your morning cuppa.

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Poetry 2 broke girls in a broad city My friend works as a chef I sit at a desk all day We sat wrapped in blankets In the front seats of my old Mazda Before we realised the real world didn’t have space in the waiting room for dreams “Please wait outside, we’ll call you when we’re ready” We wanted to open a munchie bus To feed the broke stoners And the drunken neanderthals Because food’s the way to anyone's heart And we’ve been waiting outside Keeping warm with cheap carbs And each other For years

-Renae Williams

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Collect your dead It’s an unspoken rule.

That the discarded ribs of trees, Shredded of sinew, Husk and rind Collect on stone shores.

The garden of some earthly Medusa, Where petrified statues of nature are put on display Like Adonis.

No one asked how They get there, Or why stone beaches were chosen.

Perhaps both Earth and Ocean decided, Stone and tree are not so different after all and together They could both be buried and marooned; To neither decay nor age.

The sea bites at the shore A leashed dog, And every so often manages to sink its sea-foamed jowls in To nibble at the wooden carcasses, before being Yanked to a hungry distance by the horizon.

Children sometimes examine a branch, lift it, swing it like a craftsman inspecting his work Before considering it fit for a walking stick, or sword; Unbeknownst to the inevitable irony of new life interrupting An otherwise stasis.

They lay there, forest bones slowly bleached by the sun, Feeding the stones, the life left in them.

The coastal wind swallows their breaths Telling stories of a distant hillside and faded summers, That escape through cracked marrow

-Bart English

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Reviews Tyler Hambleton

Benee at San Fran (Credit: Josh Wotton)

San Fran Cuba Street’s San Fran is undeniably one of the best venues in Wellington city, it has seen the likes of rapper Denzel Curry to more local alternative acts such as Heavy Chest, Miss Cresida and many more.

San Fran has always been a venue that thrives off diversity; since I was 18 I have attended around 20 events at the venue.

I have seen bands, rappers, DJs and even a heavy metal band called ‘Okilly Dokilly’ who all dress like the Simpsons character, Ned Flanders (bizarre, yes).

Wellington lacks venues like San Fran - sure you have Meow but the capacity just is not enough to host international acts or popular New Zealand acts who draw in a large crowd such as Benee or Fat Freddy’s Drop.

There is something undeniably special about San Fran, you can attend a gig that has 50 people in attendance and the vibe is still the same as if there were 300 people in attendance.

This may be due to how it is laid out, or it may be due to how iconic the venue is for Cuba Street.

When there is an international act playing, the line usually stretches down the street; I’ve even seen it reach the intersection of Cuba and Ghuznee.

The venue along with the few others that still exist on Cuba Street set the street alight and reminds us of why Wellington is such a desirable place for creativity and the arts.

Whilst I write this I reminisce about being front row dancing at Chaos in the CBD before lockdown.

I also reminisce about the show my friends played, where we got a little bit too cooked in the green room and I think to myself, what would Wellington be without venues like San Fran.

Wellington needs venues such as San Fran to allow for the city and its creatives to continue to grow.

So, in regards to all I have mentioned above, I’ll give San Fran a 9/10 on my venue rating scale - they lose one point for the one time I got denied.

So in the wake of New Zealand Music Month, if you have the means I suggest you go support your local venues when you can at Level 1.

Follow the link below to donate to your local venues, nationwide. https://www.undertheradar.co.nz/news/17213/Help-Save-New-Zealands-Venues-SAVEOURVENUES.utr

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The Rise of Livestreams Since the lockdown in New Zealand was announced, many New Zealand artists have taken to the internet to livestream their gigs.

They hosted an event in support of the Save Our Venues initiative on the 28th of May. The artists who contributed to the livestream include Estère, Lontalius, Samuel F. Scott and Luke Buda of The Phoenix Foundation.

Other local artists have thrown livestream events since the lockdown including Massey student Liam Todd who hosted his own livestream event in association with popular Cuba Street venue Laundry Bar. The event went live for three hours, providing Wellingtonians and others a true sense of what the Wellington music scene has to offer, even when they cannot perform within a venue.

Liam also hosted his second livestream event called Live Sessions: Volume 1 - Liam Todd & Willy Mav on the 29th of May. I was lucky enough to be a part of a livestream event this past week, where the Goodwill Radio Club collective put on their first livestream with local DJ Techno Tradie.

There were some teething problems to begin with, but once everything was in motion the event ran rather seamlessly.

Since being involved with a livestream event, it gave me an insight into how hard it is to run one. I would almost say that the technical side of the events are more difficult than putting on a live gig at a venue.

You have to deal with the internet, streaming platforms and multiple cameras, there is truly so much going on behind the scenes.

I give the New Zealand music scene a solid 8/10 for the numerous livestream events that I have viewed from the comfort of my couch.

We live in a growing digitalised world so quality online events are becoming increasingly important.

Next time you see a livestream event, or attend one in support of your local artists, consider what I have highlighted and how difficult it is to pull off such an event.

The organisers are usually doing it for no profit.

Show your support and hopefully we can get back to partying in a tangible sense soon.

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NZ Music Month Crossword

• •

Across

Down • 1. New Zealand Christian music festival

• 2. New Zealand’s most popular seven piece band

• 5. A festival that runs in both the North and South Island • 3. Cuba Street club that has now closed down • 4. New Zealand artist who sold their • 6. New Zealand based producer who has shot to Vodafone music award on trademe international success (hint) their name has numbers in it • 8. Te Reo heavy metal music trio

• 7. Another name for a kiwi dude who loves Drum & Bass

• 9. A Wellington based producer and DJ who was once a part of The Blackseeds

• 11. Independent New Zealand music label founded in 1981

• 10. Up and coming alternative-pop artist

• 14. New Zealand artist who played alongside Rod Stewart at the 2005 Mission Concert

• 11. Iconic New Zealand hip-hop group • 12. Cuba Street’s most iconic music venue • 13. New Zealand rock band founded in Wellington in 1988 • 15. Wellington band that started off as street buskers •

• 16. New Zealand’s most popular indie-pop artist • 17. New Zealand rap artist who made a song with Akon • 18. A successful New Zealand band who met whilst attending university in Dunedin • 19. A popular K’road music venue •

•

Massive Magazine | Issue 07

37 1. Parachute 2. Fatfreddysdrop 3. Club121 4. Scribe 5. Baydreams 6. Montell2099 7. Breather 8. Alienweaponry 9. Lordecho 10. Benee

The Music Issue 11. Fastcrew 12. Sanfran 13. Shihad 14. Davedobbyn 15. Draxproject 16. Lorde 17. Savage 18. Six60 19. Studio

Answers

Horoscopes NZ Music Month has just been and gone, meaning the stars collaborated with some homegrown artists to guide you through the next fortnight with a banging anthem.

AQUARIUS

LEO

This month’s anthem: Sophie by Goodshirt

This month’s anthem: Rain by Dragon

PISCES

VIRGO

This month’s anthem: Brother by Smashproof feat. Gin Wigmore

This month’s anthem: Shuggah Doom

by Soaked Oats

ARIES

LIBRA

This month’s anthem: Cabbage Tree

by Marlin’s Dreaming

This month’s anthem: Arithmetic by Brooke Fraser

TAURUS

SCORPIO

This month’s anthem: Buzzcut Season

by Lorde

This month’s anthem: So High by Six60

GEMINI

SAGITTARIUS

This month’s anthem: Gutter Black by Hello Sailor

This month’s anthem: Be Mine Tonight

by Th’ Dudes

CANCER

CAPRICORN

This month’s anthem: Summertime by Yolk

Massive Magazine | Issue 07

This month’s anthem: Sway by Bic Runga

President’s Address

Kia ora everyone, I’m Stefan Biberstein your MUSA President.

These last few weeks have been the first moves out of lockdown for New Zealand. For many of us this has meant a return to something closer to our old normal. We've been able to reconnect with our loved ones outside our bubble. For many students it means moving back to student accommodation or the flats they left to weather the storm of Covid-19 with family. For me it meant finally being able to fix my motorcycle and go for a ride with my dad.

Many of the wonderful people that make up MUSA are back in the office. We’re working hard to continue supporting students as we did in lockdown. MUSA is continuing to run its services at a distance to ensure the safety of our staff and students.

Motivation and routine took huge hits amongst students during lockdown. Without the traditional accountability of classes, sleep and productivity became sporadic. Both MUSA’s advocacy services and Massey’s Health and Counselling have continued to operate and are a good place to start if you're struggling (details below). Massey is also applying impaired performance to all grading this semester.

This is in addition to the regular impaired performance/ aegrotat considerations, which students may apply for.

Be kind and watch out for your fellow students.

MUSA Advocacy:https://musa.org.nz/advocacy Massey Health and Counselling: https://www.massey. ac.nz/massey/student-life/services-and-resources/healthcounselling-services/health-and-wellness_home.cfm -Stefan Biberstein MUSA Student President

The Music Issue

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Massive Magazine | Issue 07