Sexcapades

Just Roll With It

Last summer I was visiting a boy I was casually sleeping with at his family home for a few days. I’d eaten a bread roll earlier in the day (important context - I’m slightly gluten-intolerant), and so my stomach was feeling not so great. Basically, I was super gassy and bloated and I really needed to poop. Only problem is, his bedroom was right next door to the bathroom, so I was too embarrassed go and use it in case he heard.

Later in the evening, I told him I was going to have a shower - here was my opportunity! I turned the shower on to mask any noise, sat on the toilet and did my business, no worries. Right as I’m about to flush, I hear a knock at the door. It was him wanting to come in and join me, expecting a sexy scene of me all wet and soapy in the shower, when in reality I was still completely dry and sitting on the toilet. I yelled out “just a second”, stood up, and locked the door, trying to figure out what to do.

Turns out, however, that I actually UNlocked the door. So, in the next second he’s standing there in the bathroom staring at me, confused as to why I’ve seemingly just invited him in, but am standing there still un-showered and looking terrified. That’s when I realise - in my panic I still haven’t flushed the toilet. There was no hiding it. I just had to shuffle awkwardly back to the toilet and flush it away. Neither of us said anything. It was horrible. We stood there in silence for a few moments and then both just hopped into the shower and never spoke of it again.