Massive Magazine 2015 Volume 4 Issue 7

THE VOICE OF MASSEY UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ALWAY S FREE ISSUE 7 SEPTEMBER 2015

COURSE-RELATED COSTS

-

CHEATING

-

RUGBY

-

MAORI STUDENTS

-

INTERNSHIPS

02

01

CONTENTS EDITORIAL 002

Letters to the editor

002

Editorial

LOCAL NEWS 004

In short

006

Events feed

007

Wellington local

010

Manawatu local

012

Auckland local

FEATURES 014

Strippers, booze, and textbooks were cheaper in ‘93

018

Being Māori at Massey

022

Dialogue with David

024

RIP Guru

026

Photo feature: Chev Hassett

030

Internships

034

The 2015 Rugby World Cup

036

How to Graduate with a Bachelor of Cheating

REVIEWS 039

Monthly music round up

040

Film review

041

Book review

COLUMNS 042

Travel - Fiji

043

Food blog

044

Uni Mum

046

Rep chic

047

Expressive arts

048

PUZZLE TIME

049

CONTACT US

002

EDITORIAL KIMBO SLICE She views it as poison; I drink it. She views this as cruelty; I don’t question it. It is alcohol, and this is eating meat. She is one of my identical triplet sisters. The three of us have the same genetic make-up, but on the inside you will find very different people with contrasting views and ideals.

Growing up, my sisters and I shared a classroom and a friend group.

We shared not only clothes, but similar experiences, thoughts, stories, and views.

When we split into separate friend groups as pre-pubescent intermediate kids, we blossomed. Not only did our parents not have to endure the same story three times each night, but we truly became individuals, as opposed to just being known as ‘one of the triplets’.

The experiences each of us shared with our friend groups differed drastically. At 14, one sister was making a clubhouse, and jamming out to guitar; while I thought I was super cool by sneakily drinking bourbon with my friends while we were camping.

There are plenty of factors in life that shape the person you become, and the way in which you see the world. For my sisters and I it was splitting into separate friend groups, and gaining these new and contrasting experiences. I believe that the biggest influence in the way we now view the world stems from the time we’ve spent with our ‘homies’ over the years.

The world is full of unique characters, whose hearts hold friends, and whose minds hold experiences that have both contributed to shaping the lens through which they see the world today. These differences provide us with an interesting world.

Our views influence the particular behaviours we choose to indulge in. I enjoy the buzz from alcohol, and the loosened inhibitions it brings.

My sister finds it a pointless and destructive poison that does nothing but wastes money.

Although we have different views, we don’t worry about each other’s views because they don’t affect us. By that I don’t mean that because she doesn’t like smoking, that if I chose to, I wouldn’t worry about her view and turn her bedroom into a hot box. It means that she doesn’t lecture me for indulging in liquor, as it’s not her wrecking her liver or her life.

On the same page, I don’t tease her for only wanting to neck H2O at a party.

To understand each other’s views, they need to be communicated.

There are many ways in which we can express our views. My sister can converse with me about why she chooses to live a vegan lifestyle, and I have the power to explain why I choose to eat meat. She can also discuss veganism in a wider discussion with her friend group or peers.

In this day and age we have technology, which provides a large platform and a number of channels in which we can express our views. Anyone can post a picture of Cecil the lion with an ‘RIP’ message, crying horror at how disgusting it is to kill the innocent king of the jungle, despite themselves being meat-eaters.

We have so many ways to discuss our wide range of views on different topics. Our views will likely never be completely the same as anyone else.

Yes, the examples I’ve provided are minor, but we should be encouraging healthy discussion of truly important topics in order to understand each other’s views. We don’t have to accept these views as our own, but we should listen to them, and do so without judging or offending the person.

In my role this year, I have learnt a lot. I have recognised to acknowledge how diverse our student body really is. To me, it’s more than the diverse range of cultures, sexualities, etc. on our campus; it’s the

interests, backgrounds, experiences, and views of each student that sets them apart. I have learnt to really respect that, and to cater to this, I’ve been trying to place myself into the mind-frame of others. This proved to be challenging; I decided that I cannot live thousands of lives; I cannot talk to every student to find out their past, and hear what has shaped them to be the way they are, or think in the way they do. Therefore I decided to establish a Diversity Panel.

The idea of this panel is to gather a group together who have not just come from ‘minority backgrounds’ but who have varied views on certain topics, the views that have been formed based on their life experiences.

We currently have six Massey students on the panel. They have helped me in this issue, to identify potentially harmful/offensive content. This panel provides me, as the editor, with an opportunity to chat with these students in order to absorb and understand their knowledge. I hope that this measure will be long-term, and evolving. The idea is that by seeing the content through more than one set of eyes, I will be able to produce a magazine that challenges the status quo, provides alternate views on a wide range of topics, and opens students’ minds. I am of the view that this initiative will help to provide a magazine that the entire student body can be proud of. If you want to be involved, please get in touch.

This issue is jam-packed with engaging content. We represent the student voice in discussing why the $1000 course-related costs limit needs to be lifted; we chat to Māori students about the value they feel the University puts on their culture; we talk cheating at university; debate the value of internships, and much more.

ENJOY THE READ! Until next time, Kimbo Slice

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Is it just me or does Wellington campus suck at the whole waste thing?

There are no bins around the place for you to sort glass / paper + plastic / general waste. If you look at bins around uni they’re full of coke cans, containers, and bottles.

Having these separate bins is standard practice at all other unis. Vic is particularly good. We could at least have one in the pyramid.

I bought a drink at Tussock the other day and the guy sheepishly told me they don’t recycle glass!?

Massey needs to up its game.

Alister Newton

EVERYONE’S A WINNER! MASSIVE would love to hear from you. You can drop your letters into any students’ association office, or email them to editor@ massivemagazine.org.nz . Alternatively, you could play Harry Potter: pretend the nearest bird you find is an owl, and ask it nicely to deliver your letter to us, down our imaginary chimney. Whatever method you choose, if your letter reaches us, and is published, you will win a bag of People’s coffee. To claim your prize, flick us an email.

003

04

IN SHORT BALLS

05

IN SHORT

OPINION: HAVING MY SAY ON THE FLAG DEBATE RACHEL PURDIE The New Zealand flag debate seems to be a game of numbers: 10,292 submitted flag designs, 40 now long-listed, four to be finalists, one ultimate winner, and all at a cost of $25 million (and counting), all of which involves a nationwide drawing competition in order to maybe replace a 113-year-old national symbol.

There are a few personal favourites among the bunch of submissions; my long list includes a pavlova with kiwifruit on a blue and red checked background, a pen drawn submission on a fluoropink sticky-note with annotations, and of course, the illustrated singing egg on an orange and yellow background. This goes to show there sure are some characters who want to have their say, but do the general public really care? A poll conducted by the University of Auckland had over half of participants saying they didn’t, while another third simply didn’t know.

It’s not even just about the time spent by a specially selected panel to pick a flag out of the submissions - it is the national road show that had a poor turn out, a referendum to pick which flag is the best out of four finalists, and then ANOTHER referendum to decide whether that flag should replace the current flag. While the cost of approximately $25 million from taxpayers may be able to buy 26 houses with a total of 59 bedrooms and 30.5 bathrooms in Auckland Central, it may not even result in a new flag. If it does, then the cost keeps on creeping up, with implementation across things such as Defence Force uniforms and drivers licences not coming cheap either.

There are immediate social issues around New Zealand that could benefit greatly from this money, such as childhood poverty or the housing crisis in Christchurch. Instead, we are undertaking this process and being mocked halfway across the world in the US of A on the satirical news show Last Week Tonight.

While those who defend the process grasp at reasoning such as the talk of the confusion of being too close to Australia’s flag (our stars are red, and there’s has one more?), and removing the United Jack (we are still a part of the Commonwealth last I checked?), is it really worth the money? In my honest opinion no it’s not.

WIN STUFF! This month we are giving away a double pass to the Auckland Zoo, and 10 double passes to the Wellington Zoo. But for those of you who are anti-zoo yet pro-caffeine, we also have three bags of People’s coffee to give away.

Download the MASSIVE Magazine app to get in the draw to win.

You can download the app by searching ‘Massive Magazine’on Google Playstore, or the App Store.

Student Job Search (SJS) is the leading service for casual, part time & summer work for New Zealand Tertiary Students. SJS is FREE for all Massey University students to use thanks to your Students’ Associations.

Register with SJS and start looking for jobs today or apply to the jobs below by heading to our website www.sjs.co.nz

FESTIVE TREATS COOKIE SELLER – FIXED-TERM – 31 VACANCIES NATIONWIDE Still looking for that perfect summer job?

Apply to be a Mrs Higgins Cookie Seller and gain valuable work experience while getting extra $$$. The job takes place over November and December which means you get the rest of the summer off! On average, cookie sellers make $6000 over the 7-week period. Get in quick so you don’t miss out!

Apply using the job number: 103669135

06

EVENTS FEED

WELLINGTON CAMPUS FOOD TRUCKS Date and time: 7th 8th 9th, 12th, 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th September 5:30pm- 8:30pm Location: Outside Tussock. Come fill those hand-in week cravings without leaving campus! For more info please contact Holly Dodson eventscoordinator@mawsa.org.nz FINANCIAL FESTIVAL Date and time: 8th September 11:30am - 1:30pm Location: The Pyramid. Come learn how to make student living easier! We have a fun day planned with vertical bungy, free food, and tips and tricks on how to be a student and manage yo munz. For more info please contact Holly Dodson eventscoordinator@mawsa.org.nz MAWSA VS. VUWSA LIONS GAME Date and time: 11th, 17th September 7pm - 9pm Location: The Cake Tin. Come to see history in the making, MAWSA vs. VUWSA half time game at the Lions game! Tickets will be available from the MAWSA office, email our events coordinator if you want to be a player/ part of the action! For more info please contact Holly Dodson eventscoordinator@mawsa.org.nz MAWSCA FILM AWARDS Friday 18th September 7pm -10pm Room 10A02, Old Museum Building. Forget about the OSCARS we have our very own MAWSCA’s .Get your glad rags on and enjoy the student films presented by MAWSA and the Film Club.

Gold Coin Donation: Tickets at MAWSA Office – ask for Sarah Wang.

MAWSA EXECUTIVE 2016 Nominations open between September 14-21 Online voting week between September 28- October 4.

Check out the MAWSA Facebook page or mawsa.org.nz for more information.

KOKIRI NGATAHI KAI AND KORERO: Wednesdays, 12:00-13:00, Whanau Room WEEKLY PRAYER MEETING: Thursdays, 8:30-9am, Chaplaincy Room – Level 2 SST building.

MASSEY WELLINGTON LIFE DRAWING CLUB: Every Thursday of the semester, 18:00-20:00 Check out www. facebook.com/groups/MasseyWellingtonLifeDrawing for the location.

need it. All the food that we get is still usable and aimed at students in hardship. Come get it!

AUCKLAND CAMPUS YOGA WORKSHOPS: THE SCIENCE OF HAPPINESS Date and time: 9/9, 30/09, 21/10 Location: Sir Neil Waters Lecture Theatre For more information, email anjalisaroop@gmail.com COMEUNITY @ MASSEY Fridays 5:00pm - 11:00pm Location: SC2 For more info email comeunity@clubs.asa.ac.nz ASA ELECTION – CANDIDATE’S SPEECHES Wednesday September 16, 12-1pm Location: Student Central Come and decide who you will vote for. You’re bound to get some free food!

INTERNATIONAL PEACE WEEK From Monday September 21- Friday September 25 on campus.

STUDENT ENGAGEMENT FORUM Wednesday September 23, 12-1pm Location: Student Lounge ASA EXECUTIVE ELECTIONS Fri 25th Wed 30th September Make sure you have registered as a member on our website so that you can vote in the election! Visit asa.ac.nz/vote BSG MEETING Wednesdays, 12:00pm - 01:00pm, contact bsg@massey.ac.nz WALKING GROUP Thursdays, 12-30pm-1pm. at the Recreation Centre reception at 12:30pm Massey Magic the Gathering Club: Thursdays, ASA Lounge, 17:00 BADMINTON CLUB Tuesdays, 17:30 – 19:30 Recreation Centre Sports Hall ULTIMATE FRISBEE CLUB Tuesdays, 17:00 – 19:00 Recreation Centre Sports Hall Toastmasters Breakfast Meeting Wednesdays, 07:15 – 08:30 Student Lounge SAUDI CLUB Thursdays 19:30 – 21:30 Recreation Centre Sports Hall

ANIME AND MANGA CLUB: Meet Thursdays 17:00 in 5C12. Watch anime, discuss and play games.

MASSEY ALBANY FOOTBALL FEDERATION (MAFF): Saturdays 14:30 – 16:30 Recreation Centre Sports Hall

K-POP CLUB: Meet Mondays 17:00 in 5C12 Massey Association of Pasifika Students (MAPS): Meet Tuesdays, 12-1pm in the PI Room.

MASSEY UNIVERSITY CHINESE BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION (MUCBA) Sundays 10:00 – 12:00 Recreation Centre Sports Hall

FREE FOOD Wednesdays, all day, MAWSA office. Kaibosh is a food redistribution charity that redistributes food to people who

NETBALL CLUB Wednesdays, 17:00-18:00, Recreation Centre Sports Hall

JAMES SPEEDY TSCF Meeting: Wednesdays, 12:00-13:00, AT5. Christians who hang out together on campus. Anyone who would like to find out about Jesus is welcome. Chat, pray, study the bible together, and do social things as well.

CHESS CLUB Tuesdays, 16:00-17:00, Village Campus (opposite Engineering reception) A group of students who get together to play social chess. Beginners or experts are welcome.

Contact Jordan.k.lewis@live.com for more information.

RUGBY CLUB TRAINING Thursdays, 17:00, QBE Stadium, Domain 2. For more information check out www.facebook.com/groups/ MasseyUniRugby/ .

TENNIS CLUB Wednesdays, 12:00-14:00, Tennis Northern, Oteha Valley Road Extension. Come play social tennis with the Tennis Club. $2 pay to play. Coaching available. Rain or shine, as there are indoor courts available. Contact Mua.tennis@ gmail.com for more information.

VOLLEYBALL CLUB Sundays, 12:30 – 14:30 Recreation Centre Sports Hall

MANAWATU CAMPUS RED CROSS BLOOD DONATION SERVICES 8 &10 September All day, MUSA Lounge Not ‘Bad Blood’, but good blood. To register and for more info, contact Debra.buchanan@nzblood.co.nz NZ MOUNTAIN FILM FESTIVAL 9 September, 5 pm, Rugby Institute. An Alpine Club Fundraiser bringing you the best of Mountain Films from New Zealand. For tickets and more information, contact president@muac.org.nz MID-MOON FESTIVAL 19 September 11:30 to 1:30, MUSA Lounge and Concourse Let Chinese Scholars and Students Club entertain and delight you. There might be free Moon Cakes…

STUDENT CITY ARTS AWARDS CEREMONY 17 September 5 pm, Venue to be confirmed The awards ceremony for all participants and prize winners for this year’s competition.

MUSA EXECUTIVE ELECTIONS 28-30 September Drop your voting paper in to the MUSA Lounge during these days. Exercise your right to vote!

MUSA END OF YEAR FUNCTION 29 September 5 pm onwards, Rugby Institute.

MUSA host this annual thank you to all who have actively supported us to provide great services to Manawatu students.

RSVP to clubs@musa.org.nz Keep an eye on the Massey University app to keep up with other events as they pop up.

07

WELLYWOOD LOCAL NEWS KIM PARKINSON

MAWSA EXECUTIVE ELECTIONS APPROACHING The opportunity will be open for all students to be part of the 2016 MAWSA Executive, when the election nomination period opens on September 14, 2015.

According to information on mawsa.org.nz the key role of a MAWSA Executive is to “represent the students encompassed in your role description, and ensure that their needs, both welfare and education related, are being met.”

The roles in 2015 are engagement executive, Pasifika executive, Māori executive, international executive, health and science executive, humanities, social science and nursing executive, CoCA executive, education vice-president, welfare vice-president, and the top dog, MAWSA president.

The Executive team do everything from governing committees, sitting on College Boards, planning events, sorting out student issues and representing the student voice at a higher level within the University.

Current MAWSA president, Tom Pringle, encourages students to apply for an Executive position because “it’s a great learning experience to be part of the student association, it gives you an insight into the political workings of the University, and it is a really great platform to help shape the University.”

Through his one and a half years of experience on the Executive, Pringle has a fair idea about the kind of people who would fit in well at MAWSA. “We’re looking for passionate, outgoing, and hard-working people who really want to make a difference in the campus culture and life here at Massey Wellington. “ If you’re keen to apply for a position, you will need to fill out the application form, which can be picked up from the MAWSA office. Once you’ve done this, you can start your campaign.

Pringle put in a hearty effort with his presidential campaign last year. If you didn’t see him sizzling sausages around campus, then it’s more than likely that you would’ve seen one of his infamous ‘vote Pringle’ stickers that were plastered around the University.

Pringle believes that the key to a successful campaign involves “having a bit of fun with it all, and remember that you’re not running for Prime minister.”

The election nomination period will run from September 14 – September 21. If reading this article hasn’t inspired you to apply for one of these positions, don’t worry, you can get involved in another important way. All students have the chance to vote online for their favourite candidate for each position. Sep 28 – October 4. If you have any questions about being part of the MAWSA Executive, please email MAWSA manager James Collings at manager@mawsa.org.nz.

BALLS GO OFF WITHOUT A HITCH More than one-thousand Massey Wellington students dressed up to the nines and arrived at the Macs Brew Bar Function Centre to attend one of the three MAWSA balls held in late July.

“Absolutely amazing” was how MAWSA events coordinator Holly Dodson described the successful events.

“All three of the balls had such a great atmosphere. Everyone was having a good time. There were no issues, and we’ve received nothing but positive feedback from both students and staff,” Dodson says.

Dodson says she owes the success of the balls to “the hard work of the events team, and the way in which the students positively embraced the event”.

The Events Committee was formed at the beginning of this year, and MAWSA president Tom Pringle says it has made a “huge difference to the student culture” having an organisation that is strictly dedicated to events.

“It’s a driven team of individuals that are dedicated to providing students with events that they’ll actually attend.”

Pringle attended all three balls and described them as “loose”.

Dodson thinks the hype surrounding these balls was due to the fact that it had been over 20 years since the last ball was held that was open to the entire student population.

The ball on July 24 was open to all first-year students, the ball on July 25 was open to all COCA students, and the ball on July 28 is open to all non-first year students who study outside of COCA. The balls were split into three because the Events Committee could not find a suitable location that was affordable, and could provide enough space for the entire student population.

After the success of this year’s balls, Dodson says that Massey students can expect “bigger and better balls” in the future.

“We’re going to be upping our game; we’ve got a solid reputation and now we’re going to deliver.”

Students can be excited about plenty more events organised by the MAWSA Events Committee this year. These include: food truck week, a financial festival, an inter-university rugby event, and much more.

If you want to be a part of the MAWSA Events Committee, you can sign up at the MAWSA Financial Festival on September 8, or contact Holly Dodson at eventscoordinator@mawsa.org.nz.

AT LEAST 24 HOURS OF POOR COMMUNICATION A decision, approved by campus registrar Deanna Riach, to allow 24hour access to Block 10, 11 and 12 during the most recent hand-in week, was over-ruled by pro-vice chancellor Claire Robinson, the following day – exposing poor communication between both Massey staff and students.

MAWSA staff have been working with Massey University authorities to push for extended opening hours at hand-in week, due to the high workload in that particular week. Following a discussion forum, Riach announced the temporary solution that students would be granted 24-hour access to three (College of Creative Arts) CoCA blocks for four consecutive days starting Monday, August 17.

Despite some of her staff having attended the discussion forum, Robinson only heard about the decision that Monday afternoon. It wasn’t until 6:38pm on Tuesday, August 18, that students received an

08

Flash your student ID on your arrival to score a great deal.

#START WITH TWO WORKOUTS A WEEK. WHAT COULD YOU ACHIEVE? STUDENT MEMBERSHIP $ 9 A WEEK.

BUILDING T32, GATE C, WELLINGTON 04 801 2545 www.masseygym.co.nz

09

email saying the decision had been over-ruled by Robinson, effective that evening onwards. Part of the email read: “We consider that working very long hours diminishes your creative productivity and focus. Massey is committed to maintaining a safe campus environment with your wellbeing, health and safety being important.”

This email was sent over 24 hours after Robinson had decided to cancel the arrangement. MAWSA president Tom Pringle says the timing of this email left students stressed and confused, and demonstrates “poor communication” between staff and students. ”This decision has been announced far too late in the evening when many students have already organised safe ways to get home at a later time than usual, that, in my opinion, does not show commitment to our [Massey students’] wellbeing.”

Robinson says “by the time we had discussed the situation and made the decision to change the opening and closing times from 6-12, it was late on Tuesday afternoon. We sent out the advice to students as soon as we could after that.”

CoCA student Marielle de Geest says she found the reasoning in the email to be a weak “because I said so” thinly veiled by a tone of concern for students’ wellbeing.

“I found it [the email] incredibly patronising, it implies that Massey knows more about our personal well-being than we do ourselves.

This incident not only demonstrates poor communication between Massey staff members, but also between staff and the student representatives who work for MAWSA. Robinson says it would be great if students engaged more with issues concerning the running of CoCA. However, she says that the MAWSA president has never sought a meeting, and no MAWSA representatives (for whom five spots are reserved) have turned up to the monthly College Board meetings all year.

Pringle says the board meeting is held when members of the MAWSA executive – who are mainly all CoCA students – have their major studio class therefore “they tend to prioritise their uni work, but I will be working to combat the timetabling issues so we can send representatives to have input into how the College is run.”

Pringle has encouraged students to pitch creative ideas as to how they want to combat issues within the COCA community, so that they can approach Robinson with a strong united view. Ideas so far, he says, have ranged from restructuring the way papers are run, with larger spaces between hand-ins, to dedicated hand-in weeks, to changing the access hours slightly to better reflect students’ time schedules.

There will be a discussion forum held, which Robinson will be invited to. Here, students will again have the chance to discuss all issues within the CoCA community. Keep an eye on the MAWSA Facebook page for more details, and please contact Tom Pringle to voice your concerns.

Read about this issue in more depth at massivemagazine.org.nz

Student Job Search (SJS) is the leading service for casual, part time & summer work for New Zealand Tertiary Students. SJS is FREE for all Massey University students to use thanks to your Students’ Associations.

Register with SJS and start looking for jobs today or apply to the jobs below by heading to our website www.sjs.co.nz

PHOTO BOOTH OPERATORS – CASUAL This employer needs fun and enthusiastic students to join their fast growing photo booth production crew!

To apply you must have a keen interest in and/or study photography as you will be setting up and operating the photo booths. You must also be available to work Friday and Saturday nights and have your own reliable car with space to transport photography gear. Approximately 8 hours work available each week, $20 an hour.

Apply using the job number: 103706609

ASSISTANT TENNIS COACHES – CASUAL – WELLINGTON, PORIRUA, KAPITI This employer is looking for 20 students, ideally with a background in tennis and childcare to teach children Tennis. There is work available at multiple venues so having your own car would be an advantage.

Working hours and days can vary but you can expect to work between 4 and 20 hours a week. Work starts in October, $18 - $25 an hour.

Apply using the job number: 103728663

010

P- NAUGHTY LOCAL NEWS CARWYN WALSH NEW FLATTERS FILL THEIR BOOTS New student flatters felt the love on Wednesday July 22, with an educational event held for their benefit in the MUSA Lounge.

The exhibition has been an annual event for a number of years and this year’s event was organised by Koli Sewabu, the acting manager for Accommodation Services on the Manawatū campus.

Sewabu called the exhibition a “one-stop shop” for all student flatters and said that it gave them access to a “number of services”.

Bringing joy to everyone, Accommodation Services also conducted a speed apple eating competition midway through the event.

Out of the three contestants, a chap named Michael won. As well as a huge boost to his self-esteem, Michael also got a free flatter’s survival pack, on top of the free apple.

The team from the Housing Advice Centre had a table, and manager Sue Swinburne thought the event was great, saying it was the perfect forum to “give housing advice” to flatters “especially in relation to tenancy agreements”.

Belinda and the Palmerston North Fire Service were there preaching fire safety, something that was underlined by a large picture display of a student flat fire that occurred on Morris Street a couple of years ago.

Belinda stressed that students should be aware of fire hazards on their properties, particularly those created by leaving couches and furniture outside on decks. These, said Belinda, become a target for “arsonists”.

The Fire Service also wanted to let student flatters know that they will conduct a free fire safety check of all dwellings. This service also includes the installation of a free fire alarm that carries a 10-year warranty.

Michelle from Campus Living was also there. Michelle was letting students know all about the option of staying on over summer in campus accommodation.

The Palmerston North City Council sent Pip Chrystall along to talk rubbish and recycling. Chrystall wished to reiterate to student flatters that their rubbish “must be out on the side of the road by 7:30am.”

She also said that additional glass crates are freely available, that official council rubbish bags must be used and that rubbish must be kept out of any recycling.

A who’s who of businesses was also in attendance, including representatives from property management companies, banks and Student Job Search.

If student flatters wish to discuss anything further with the abovementioned services, their contact details are listed below.

Housing Advice Centre: (06) 358 4875 Palmerston North Fire Service: (06) 353 2500 Pip Chrystall, Palmerston North City Council Rubbish and Recycling co-ordinator: 0272845858

LINSEY HIGGINS SAYS GOODBYE Long-serving MUSA president Linsey Higgins is calling it a day.

Higgins, a social work student, was first elected as student president in 2013 and started the role in October of that year.

Looking back, Higgins admits that she had “no idea what I’d got myself into”.

“Coming from a social work background, I wanted to put my learning into practice.”

During her two terms as president, Higgins says that she is most proud of “increasing the level of awareness around MUSA” and giving the organisation a more “publically favourable” image.

There was, fortunately, no political corruption or torrid love affair with Steven Joyce behind Higgins’ decision to step down.

Higgins said that “two years is a long time in student politics” and it was “time for a new challenge”.

As to what her future plans are, Higgins does not know, saying: “I have no idea what I’m going to do”.

Tributes flowed from Higgins’ fellow MUSA employees, following the news of her departure.

With mascara trickling down her face, clubs coordinator Gunhild Litwin labelled Higgins a “visionary president”, who, in Litwin’s opinion, was “somebody who moved MUSA to become a studentcentred organisation”.

MUSA office manager Pauline Karam looked physically ill upon hearing the news, but, after composing herself, she said that Higgins “made a lot of positive changes within the organisation”.

Finally, student advocate Kerry Howe will simply miss her “tealoving and passionate president”.

If you wish to nominate someone to replace Higgins, you can do this between September 7 and September 14. Campaigning will run between the September 21 and September 25.

For those considering running, Higgins wished to warn them that “it’s a serious commitment”.

However, in Higgins’ opinion, “if you’re passionate about social justice – go for it, it’s a great opportunity”.

FACE OF FAMILY VIOLENCE REVEALED The topics of family and domestic violence were given a thorough airing on July 29 during the ‘Let’s Talk About It’ event held in the MUSA Lounge.

The event was organised by student advocate Kerry Howe and was a timely reminder of an issue that became very real for Manawatu students in March this year with the murder of fellow student Virginia Ford.

Howe wanted the event to “provide education and awareness to students and staff around the ongoing issue of family violence in our communities in New Zealand.”

As well as organising the day, Howe manned a complimentary stall with assorted baked goods, lollies, pamphlets and condoms.

Joining her in hosting a stall were various organisations such as Te Manawa Services, Palmerston North Police, Women’s Refuge, Abuse and Rape Crisis Support and Manline.

011

Outside, beneath a MUSA marquee, self-defence classes were held and passing students took up the chance to learn and have a bit of roughand-tumble.

Prior to the event, awareness of the issue was advertised with scrawled chalk messages highlighting some of New Zealand’s dire family violence statistics.

Local celebrity Abi Symes acted as an MC for the day and introduced a panel of guests hailing from the various organisations.

The panel guests held an hour long conversation and spoke to an assembled crowd of students, some members of Palmerston North’s Swamp City Roller Rats roller derby side and MUSA staff members.

Topics covered during the conversation included defining what a healthy relationship was, how to leave an abusive relationship safely and how you can help someone in an abusive relationship.

Danielle Berry, the manager of Palmerston North’s Women’s Refuge, said that the occasion was a great way to “build a relationship with MUSA” and to further emphasise that family and domestic violence is “real” and “happening here” among the university community.

Berry has seen an “increase this year of students in Palmerston North seeking advice and support” from Women’s Refuge.

If you are experiencing abuse in your relationship, Palmerston North Women’s Refuge, in conjunction with Palmerston North Police, can help create a safe strategy with you to escape.

Palmerston North’s Women Refuge can be reached by calling 0800 REFUGE. This hotline is available to anyone with concerns about their own relationship or anyone seeking advice about an abusive relationship involving a friend or loved one.

All callers can remain anonymous.

Student Job Search (SJS) is the leading service for casual, part time & summer work for New Zealand Tertiary Students. SJS is FREE for all Massey University students to use thanks to your Students’ Associations.

Register with SJS and start looking for jobs today or apply to the jobs below by heading to our website www.sjs.co.nz

SUMMER EVENTS DELIVERY TEAM Each summer this employer runs a number of programmes to assist and support racing clubs across New Zealand. They are seeking 10 hardworking team members to join them for up to four months starting in November.

Your job will involve delivering marketing materials to racing clubs, helping to prepare racecourses for events, and assisting to implement programmes on race days. To apply for the job you will need to be physically fit, have exceptional attention to detail and top communication skills, and have a Full Drivers Licence. Approximately 25-30 hours a week, $16 an hour.

Apply using the job number: 103734621

RELIEF CHILDCARE – CASUAL This childcare provider needs fun, enthusiastic, team players to join their team!

They need help with a range of shifts which include before school care, after school care and holiday programs. Childcare experience is preferred, however not essential. You must have a Full Drivers Licence to be considered. Hours will vary and could be up to 20 per week. You will be paid $15 an hour.

Apply using the job number: 103732901

PA L M E R S T O N NORTH CAMPUS

012

AKL LOCAL NEWS JULIA BRAYBROOK BALL TAKES STUDENTS TO 1940’S HOLLYWOOD 2015 Albany Students’ Association (ASA) president Byron Brooks says their recent 1940’s Hollywood-themed ball was “a huge success”.

Brooks added that the ball, held on August 20, “greatly exceeded the expectations we had.” The ball, which took place at the Auckland Museum Event’s Centre, had received good feedback, with Brooks saying “all the feedback I have had was extremely positive and everyone seemed to enjoy the night.” He said he didn’t think it was possible to pick a single highlight, adding that “the night was amazing”.

Brooks also said that “doing it again, there would be a few things that would be changed but it came together in the end.”

The event, which included seat down dinner and dessert buffet, also featured Albany student Cal Xin, who sung some opening songs, as well as a live band over dinner.

On a post on the event’s Facebook page, the ASA said “a big THANK YOU to everyone who attended the ASA Ball...We really hope you enjoyed it. Big thanks to the ball committee and all those who helped keep the event flowing.” Student feedback posted to the page was also positive, with one student saying “thanks for a good night!!” Another said the ball “was so well planned + great venue!”

Photos were expected to be released “early next week” on the Albany Students’ Association Facebook page.

Club Prize Giving Nominations open The Albany Students’ Association (ASA) Club Prize Giving is coming up.

There were 11 categories open for nomination, including Overall Club of the Year which “recognises excellence in the administration of a club, club activity, and the promotion of student life” at the Auckland Campus.

The Massey University Albany Snow Club was awarded Overall Club of the Year in 2014, with the Massey University Community Garden Club taking the award in 2013.

Other categories included Committee of the Year, which had been won by the Albany Massey Engineering Student Society two years in a row, as well as New Club of the Year, and Club Event of the Year. Last year’s Club Event of the Year was awarded to the Massey Albany Movie Club, for their Outdoor Movie Event, which saw a large turnout for the screening of Pitch Perfect at the 2014 semester one orientation. The Massey Albany Movie club had also won the Diversity Award in both 2013 and 2014. The award is given to a club “who is devoted to bringing together the diverse community at Massey University Albany,” according to the ASA website.

“The diversity award celebrates a club’s ability to create, develop and promote events or programs that allow a wide range of students to participate whether they are from different colleges, cultures or backgrounds.”

A new award would also be presented for the first time this year.

The Club Sustainability award would be awarded to a club “which is an established presence at Massey University and continues to provide activities and events that positively impact student life on campus.”

“They are recognised for developing a strategic club model and acquiring resources and other assets that ensure club continuation for years to come.”

The Awards Dinner will be held in the Student Lounge on October 19, from 6pm to 8pm. Invitations will be sent to club committees closer to the date.

Nominations for 2015 will open from September 1 to September 30.

AGM SEES EXECUTIVE STRUCTURE CHANGED The Albany Students’ Association (ASA) has changed the executive team structure.

The changes, which took place at the Annual General Meeting on August 5, will see the size of the executive team decrease from the current 15 positions to seven. While the positions of president, social vice-president, and administration vice-president will be kept, the other positions will be replaced by four general executive members.

General executive members will each be given a portfolio consisting of the former representative positions, including post-graduate students’ representative, international students’ representative, and recreation and clubs representative.

2015 ASA president, Byron Brooks, said that the ASA decided to restructure the executive team to “help the ASA run more efficiently so they can provide better service to students”. He said that the reaction so far had all been positive, and that “we feel it will increase interest in elections this year from the new structure.”

Other changes made at the meeting included changing the policy around dismissal of executive members. While formerly, executive members could be dismissed if they were “absent from executive meetings without apology or explanation for more than four...weeks during semester,” the new policy will see members dismissed if “absent from at least two...consecutive executive meetings without apology or explanation”. Vacancies within the executive would also be offered first to “the candidate from the previous election with the most votes for their respective position” before a by-election took place.

The meeting also made changes that would make it easier for clubs to become affiliated with the ASA, changing the number of active members needed for affiliation from 15 to seven. However, clubs would need at least ten members in order to be eligible for club grants.

Brooks added that student engagement at the meeting had been good.

“We had a good number of students turn up and some good input from them.”

AMESS ELECTS 2016 EXECUTIVE The Albany Massey Engineering Students’ Society (AMESS) has elected their 2016 executive team.

AMESS’ 2016 president, Cameron Mearns, said that he was “stoked” to have been elected. “The response I’ve gotten so far has been enthusiastic, and I’m keen to get cracking on the job.

While AMESS had “been focusing on putting on a range of events” in

013

the last year, Mearns said that “we want to build off this year, and get even more people involved in the fun and games.” He added that “we’d also like to increase our presence on campus.”

“Obviously we had a bit of a laugh with the bucket around the chicken wing, but we have our eyes on running some events in collaboration with other clubs. We know we aren’t the only ones who want to have a good time, and we’d like to be involved in making some awesome memories for everyone’s time at Massey.”

He encouraged students to get involved with AMESS, and said that their goal was “to create a social environment where engineers can network and have fun”.

“We know that the path to becoming an Engineer can feel arduous at times, and AMESS is about making sure that you aren’t travelling that path alone. Whether it’s killing time between classes around the pool table, or finding someone who can give you help for a project, we want to help people enjoy the journey and make the most of their time at Massey University.”

Hayden Wilson, who was elected as the 2016 vice-president, said that “it’s really good, I’m glad to continue being in the AMESS committee and helping the club.” He said that as vice-president, he would like “to continue to make AMESS one of the most popular and well-known clubs within Massey Albany and help ensure we bring the best events to our members throughout the year.”

Other members of the 2016 executive team included treasurer Andrew Kvalsvig, secretary Emma Withers, and IPENZ representative David Smith.

Student Job Search (SJS) is the leading service for casual, part time & summer work for New Zealand Tertiary Students. SJS is FREE for all Massey University students to use thanks to your Students’ Associations.

Register with SJS and start looking for jobs today or apply to the jobs below by heading to our website www.sjs.co.nz

Brand Ambassadors – Casual – Auckland Wide This employer needs 40 students to work as Brand Ambassadors throughout Auckland. You will need to be outgoing, reliable and a great communicator to be considered. As this employer represents a number of different clients work may vary greatly from shift to shift. Approximately 10 hours of work available each week, starting ASAP, $20 an hour.

Apply using the job number: 103725832

Community Support Work – Part-time – Auckland Wide Have a passion for working with people and want to make a difference? This is the job for you!

This employer has a range of vacancies Auckland wide for Community Support Workers. The job involves providing support for children and young adults with Intellectual Disabilities and/ or Autism, after school and/or on weekends. To be considered you must be committed and have great problem solving skills. Work available ASAP, $15.64 - $19.34 an hour.

Apply using one of these job numbers: North Shore: 103675133, Central/ East Auckland: 103675120, South Auckland: 103675118, West Auckland: 103658051

014

STRIPPERS, BOOZE, AND TEXTBOOKS WERE CHEAPER IN ‘93 James Greenland argues that the course-related costs limit needs to be lifted to reflect the rising costs of living as a student in 2015.

Jim Bolger was Prime Minister of a National government; Helen Clark leader of the opposition. MMP was introduced. Czechoslovakia split in two, Bosnia was a warzone, and badman Bill Clinton strutted into the world’s top office. The World-Wide-Web went live at CERN in Switzerland. The first-person shooter PC game DOOM was released.

Almost noone had cellphones. Jurassic Park and Schindler’s List were at the movies. The Mutton Birds’ “Nature” won best song at the New Zealand Music Awards. Disney starlet-come-pop-princess Ariana Grande was born. The world population was about five-and-a-halfbillion. And the now-antiquated but once-ubiquitous five-cent piece held enough purchasing power to buy two fizzy-lollies from the dairy down your street.

IT WAS 1993.

And students way back then probably spent their $1000 tax-free course-related costs loan (CRC) on the same things students do today.

Some spend it on textbooks, others on lab coats or pens and pencils.

Then there is rent and bond, car maintenance and travel expenses, “grown-up clothes”, computers, and food (don’t try to tell a tired, red-eyed fresher at their fifth consecutive 8am lecture that food is not an increasingly costly course-related necessity). Many, probably most, students spend their loan on these and other legitimate expenses that are inevitably encountered by all who embark upon tertiary qualification, particularly the thousands of pseudo-independent young Kiwis who study away from their parents’ nest each year. And yes, then there are, and have always been, those who opt to drop the $1000 on booze, drugs, holidays, concerts, and strippers.

The unsurprising fact that some students spend their CRC on goods and services that are not strictly, nor even remotely, related to their course is not news; it’s no revelation. Neither is the fact that most spend it sensibly, to cover expenses related to the courses they are taking, which, depending on a student’s programme of study, can far exceed $1000.

What is surprising is the fact the CRC limit has not increased for 22 years; not since, that’s right, 1993.

Students not only spent the CRC in the same ways then as they do now, they also had the same amount to spend. That’s the story – not the strippers. Publishing a pretty picture of Tay Tay and whining that students are irresponsible with tax-payer’s money misses much more important issues around the efficiency and proprietary of public spending.

Simply put, recent media attention given to students’ spending of the CRC is nothing but ‘click-bait’ - bullshit dressed up as candy; a dangling carrot designed to entice news consumers into mentally digesting a slurry of toxic waste for the sake of generating site traffic and thus advertising revenue. The headlines were tasty, but unhealthily lacking any serious, socially nutritious news value, analysis or investigation. These sensationalist stories fuel stereotypes and stir anger (a commodifiable emotion in modern news media) among typically-poor students, taxpayers’, association presidents, and the public at large. They ruffle feathers, and then float off on the winds of indifference, or else are swept under a rug not to be seen nor seriously considered again until the angle’s been half forgotten and is ready to be re-used.

On August 4, when Stuff.co.nz published its article “Studylink Money Blown on Strippers, Alcohol and Taylor Swift Tickets”, one funny Facebook user shared the link on the popular Wellington student forum “Vic Deals” with a three-word caption; “They’re onto us...”

The link was liked nearly two thousand times that afternoon. The post’s popularity was at least partly due to students’ amusement at their peers’ accounts of taxpayer-funded narcotic-fuelled benders, but also because of the caption’s subtly sarcastic dig at Fairfax and other media who claimed to be “breaking” the story on irresponsible student spending.

“They’re onto us? LoL. Was it a secret?” is how most current and exstudents I’ve talked to responded to the Stuff report and others that followed Fairfax’s lead.

Lazy media stereotypes about students being reckless, drunk, and stupid have been recycled more times than the 750ml swappa’ bottles propping up your coffee table. This is because re-using a tired but trusty angle that ‘sells’ is easier than investigating the real issues.

Remember, it’s about click-based marketing, so what ‘sells’ is what gets read or clicked on; the sensational, sordid, scandalous and other

015

What is surprising is the fact the CRC limit has not increased for 22 years; not since, that’s right, 1993.

“The only thing in my experience that hasn’t

increased in cost [since 1993] is the price of a GT’s (Golden Takeaways) fish burger.”

stories without substance. This is where you, the newsreader, must admit a share of culpability for the decline of news sources that are free from the influence of advertising and Kim Kardashian’s ass.

At best this phenomenon is “shoddy” and desperate ‘journalism’. At worst, it is an addictive and socially damaging distraction; a species of information overload that causes us to folly over the fickle while ignoring crucial issues.

‘News’ is a new opiate of the people.

Speaking to students, current and past, representing many tertiary institutions and towns, it is clear that misspending is a minor issue next to their mounting debts and the rising cost of living and studying.

“I can’t say I know many people who ‘waste’ [the CRC] on booze” (emphasis added), says MUSA president Linsey Higgins.

“Those who aren’t using it exclusively on textbooks and computers are using it for things like bond, and buying a toaster to set up their flat.

“I think $1000 falls well short of being enough money. It was set at that in 1993,” she says.

“The only thing in my experience that hasn’t increased in cost [since 1993] is the price of a GT’s (Golden Takeaways) fish burger.

“Textbooks are crazy expensive, and computers are necessary to exist.”

MAWSA president and industrial design student Tom Pringle spent his CRC on his first two assignments this year.

“One set me back just under $500 and the other was a group assignment, on which we collectively spent $1040.”

Tom says no one in third-year seems to waste the CRC, but it seems to happen among first-years “as many students still have income from their family”.

The $1000 is “not enough” for some students, Tom says.

“There needs to be better ways than just giving students lump sums of money.”

ASA president Byron Brooks agrees.

The $1000 is “not enough for students when books alone can cost more than that”, he says.

“If the student allowance and other student support was greater, maybe the course-related costs wouldn’t need to go on bond or rent.”

He says the government needs to increase student financial support, as the flow-on effects from the Auckland house price bubble are beginning to burst students’ budgets.

And yes, there are the others.

A third-year fine arts student – who prefers to remain anonymous for fear of StudyLink “hitting her up” about her receipts – says she blew her entire $1000 in one imaginably outrageous night out in her first year at university, by unwise online shopping and shouting her mates’ rounds.

She – we shall call her Sally; sounds like ‘silly’ – says she hadn’t realised she had to pay the money back.

A fresher in Wellington this year says his mate blew $600 worth of the CRC on Beats by Dre headphones – presumably in an effort to fit in with the city’s horde of hipsters and other uniform non-conformists.

He didn’t realise it wasn’t ‘free money’ either – silly Sally.

But most students know the CRC loan is there to assist in meeting course costs and most spend it on such.

Spatial design student Ellie Tuckey has a job outside of uni’ which helps her meet the rent and pay for the materials she needs for her course, but she says she can’t afford to take any time off work, and that adds stress to her life during busy times of year.

The $1000 cap on CRC limits Ellie’s ability to complete her assignments to the ideal standard, which she says directly affects her designs and possibly her grades.

“When building a model, I will use cheaper material than I would like, like polystyrene. It is less malleable and clearly a poorer quality.”

While not ‘free money’, the CRC is interest-free, and therefore could be used to make money if wealthier students were to get it each year of their degree and simply invest the lump sum in a compound interestearning bank account.

The interest free CRC loan is great for servicing student debt, too.

Massey Wellington student Kaitlyn – we won’t use her full name – says: “This year I used it all to get myself out of debt.

“I was okay at keeping afloat for the first two years of uni’, but then it started to get harder, so I got a job over summer to try and pay back the money I owed, but that wasn’t enough.”

016

Publishing a pretty picture of Tay Tay and whining that students are irresponsible with tax-payer’s money misses much more important issues around the efficiency and proprietary of public spending.

It’s “better than nothing” says nursing student Amy Jay, “but it definitely doesn’t cover everything.”

“Think uniforms, badges, medical equipment, textbooks, even a mandatory health screening test that includes blood tests, among other things - the list goes on, Amy says.

“I am constantly broke,” says Jordaine Wilson of Wellington.

“Rent takes away my entire living allowance, and then I have to cough up that extra dosh for internet and power.”

“The fact that course related costs haven’t changed since the 90s is ridiculous,” says Sarah Overall, hitting what seems to be the obvious issue on its head.

“When you think of how much the costs to live, eat, and study have risen, wouldn’t the logical answer be to raise the loan amounts to match these rises?”

‘Logic’? ‘Answers’?

Do students expect too much?

Is it idealistic to ask bureaucrats to update what appears unanimously to be an inadequate, or at least inefficient, policy? Can’t the limit be lifted off the CRC loan?

That’s what New Zealand University Students Association president Rory McCourt wants.

He’s called for students to “start fighting back” against the “unfair, lazy stereotypes” and the “outdated image many have” of them.

“Let’s get the facts out there. Growing numbers of students are struggling weekly, and we’re all amassing unsustainable debt burdens that are destroying our chances at the good life,” McCourt says.

“I’m proud that the NZUSA, along with all of the Massey presidents, stood up against the kind of journalism seen in that shoddy Stuff article.

“We quickly changed the conversation to being about whether students were receiving enough support.

“The reality is that we come in all shapes and sizes, from a range of class backgrounds, and the overwhelming majority of us are working longer hours in the classroom and part-time work just to make study work.”

Stories about alleged fraud – like student misspending of the CRC – always rate well, he says.

But it should be the responsibility of the news media to ask; ‘is this actually widespread’, ‘what does the evidence say’, ‘is this still worth covering’?

NZUSA recently released its Income + Expenditure Survey 2014 – an unofficial study conducted biannually since the mid-80s, which McCourt says contributed directly to the introduction of student allowances, and the restoration of the $1000 course-related costs loan in the early 2000s.

With results in, McCourt wants media attention to shift to what he says is a “morally unacceptable” situation faced by growing numbers of students who take on private debt to support themselves through study.

The kinds of poor mental health, diet and physical health experienced by those students cannot continue, he says.

“Student debt has doubled in the last 10 years.

“More and more New Zealanders are asking ‘is that sustainable - for students, for the country’?

For students, especially those with high relative course costs, “the struggle is real now”, he says.

McCourt suggests in the expenditure report that the CRC limit be extended to $5000 for first-year students and $2000 in subsequent years.

“This is because we recognise that first-year students often have to relocate, pay their first bond or stump up for their hall.

“The cost of first-year halls is well over $12,000 per student. Families don’t have that cash up front.”

There’s also the obvious – even to non-economists - point, that $1000 now doesn’t buy as much as $1000 in 1993 would have.

A grand in 1993 would be worth about $1600 today, according to the Reserve Bank’s online inflation calculator.

That’s 600 more CookieTime cookies each year.

Then there’s the fact that things students need tend to cost more today anyway, and universities are increasingly requiring students to purchase exorbitantly-priced textbooks – often prescribed by their author who is also the course lecturer and no doubt receives a healthy royalty for each copy sold to their students.

It appears as if the CRC loan limit has simply not been seriously considered by the policymaking powers that be for the last two decades.

“Since 2010 the Government has made a number of changes to reduce high risk student loan lending, target student support better and increase student loan repayments from both New Zealand and overseasbased borrowers,” says Ministry of Education acting head of graduate achievement, vocations and careers Ellen MacGregor-Reid.

“Government decisions have included removing access to courserelated costs for part-time, full-year study, which took effect in 2012.

“This was to recognise that part-time full-year students have more of an opportunity than full-time full-year students to earn income to meet their costs.

“It also realises that student support resources are constrained and must be targeted where they are needed most.”

MacGregor provided no real answer when asked why the CRC hasn’t been raised since 1993.

“The student loan scheme, including the $1,000 course-related cost component, provides a contribution towards the costs of study to reflect the private and public benefits of study.

“It’s not designed to meet all of the costs incurred by students.”

“Student Loan Scheme costs have increased considerably for the Government since the scheme was introduced in 1992, particularly with the introduction of interest-free student loans for those living in New “This policy provides a very high level of subsidy and we estimate the Government will write off around more than 40 cents for every dollar lent through the scheme.”

017

Lazy media stereotypes about students being reckless, drunk, and stupid have been recycled more times than the 750ml swappa’ bottles propping up your coffee table.

To this writer, that seems like a damn good reason to seriously reconsider the distribution and maximum limit of the CRC. However, the Ministry says the $1000 “reflects the balance drawn between the need to maintain access for students to tertiary study and affordability for the Government”.

“It is not designed on a needs-based approach and as such is not linked to factors such as actual course costs or the particular circumstances of students.

“Such changes would also increase administration costs for the Government as well as student loan balances for students.”

This ignores the mounting private debt balances, which are not interest-free, that McCourt says students are taking on.

“It’s governmental plod-speak; head in sand; too hard basket; avoidance and spin 101.”

There are also serious questions to be asked, maybe audits to be done, to ascertain whether StudyLink even enforces its own policies – particularly with regard to whether students are spending the CRC on what they say they will.

Almost none of the undergraduates we talked to had ever worried about being audited by StudyLink, both because they had spent their CRC appropriately and because they knew no one who had ever run into trouble after taking liberties with the $1000 lump sum.

The government deposited more than $120 million into students’ back-pockets via the course-related costs loan last year.

Ministry of Social Development (MSD)deputy chief executive Marama Edwards says that the course related costs loan is, for the vast majority of students, used as intended.

“Course-related costs recognise that we need to be flexible, and generally students do not need to provide evidence when they claim, but we retain the right to request ‘proof of expenditure’ if we feel this is warranted,” Edwards says.

“The reality is that the types of things course related costs can be used for are as varied as the range of tertiary courses available.”

StudyLink does however take applicants through a rigorous ‘boxchecking’ exercise before accepting a CRC loan request. Most students are aware that ‘travel’, ‘computer equipment’ and other options are the best to select, as there is almost no chance of being questioned if these boxes are ticked. Students are generally smart enough not to ask for $1000 worth of pens and pencils – although, some arts students’ budgets might genuinely stretch that far down their stationery list.

But MSD can’t provide examples of past audits on CRC applications because records are not kept.

One wonders what their response might be if the question was reframed; “were audits ever done in the first place, in order for them to go ‘unrecorded’?”

Nevertheless, the CRC is “not free money, it has to be paid back,” Edwards says.

“It’s up to students to take responsibility for how much they borrow, and we remind students all the way through the application process only to borrow what they need.

“If students choose to take full entitlement then they need to take responsibility for this.”

The old-dog policy experts at the Education Ministry might not be willing to learn new tricks, but students, as always, have some fresh ideas.

McCourt reckons a programme-based scheme for distributing the CRC might work fairer than the current system. That would see the limit ‘float’ depending on the course a student is enrolled in, and the anticipated costs associated with that course.

“I’ve spoken to many Massey Wellington creative arts students who have enormous course costs. The same for Palmy vet students on externships who have to pay for all sorts of things, transport included”, McCourt says.

“I think students should have more autonomy over how they receive their course related costs, as some need lump sum payments and some require smaller payments through the year,” says Linsey Higgins.

“All course related costs should be built into the cost of the paper at the beginning of the year,” says Tom Pringle – though he adds that current legislation won’t allow that option.

Full of good ideas, students are nevertheless not convinced by the government’s (in)ability to improve their financial situations.

“It would be good if retailers could invoice the government directly, but I don’t see that being implemented effectively,” laments Byron Brooks.

Sanne van Ginkel, fine arts student, says she was told at the start of her degree that her course would cost up to $2000 each year, and that part-time jobs were “not in the question as they’re a huge obstacle to the grades we want to be getting”.

“If this information is out, in facts, why shouldn’t we be helped a little more than we are?!”

That seems a reasonable question when one remembers that the CRC limit was set way back in 1993, probably before today’s students were even born.

Shouldn’t those who have to live within the bounds of the system have a greater say over its shape, and the ways in which it supports them?

It’s been 22 years since 1993.

The world has moved on from Bill Clinton, the Muttonbirds are no longer a household name in New Zealand, the internet has proved pretty popular, and the five-cent piece has long since been decommissioned.

It’s a different world.

And it’s time the CRC limit was lifted to reflect that.

018

BEING MAORI AT MASSEY Carwyn Walsh converses with Maori students to hear their thoughts about how much value they feel the University puts on their culture.

During the reign of Catherine the Great of Russia, one of her nobleman, Grigory Potemkin, is rumoured to have set up what history has remembered as Potemkin villages. The villages were artifices and fakes; as soon as Catherine had passed through the province that Potemkin was governing they would be pulled down again. The idea was to trick Catherine and her entourage into thinking that real and rapid progress was being made within Potemkin’s province.

In Massey University’s Annual Report for 2014, seven major goals for the University are listed for the public to view. One of these stated goals is to “ensure an exceptional and distinctive learning experience at Massey for all students”. Another is to “strengthen our connections with tāngata whenua”. Finally, under responsibility, the University states that it wishes to “enhance our reputation as New Zealand’s defining university by contributing to an understanding of – and innovative responses to – social, economic, cultural and environmental issues, including those that affect tāngata whenua.”

From reading these goals and the 2014 Annual Report it becomes clear that Massey University is placing a particular emphasis on promoting itself as an ambitious and innovative institution, especially in regards to its relationship with Māori.

Is the University serious about pursuing these goals alongside its tangata whenua or, like Potemkin, are they tricking the outside world into seeing real progress where there is only artifice and props?

Are Māori students receiving an “exceptional” and “distinctive” learning experience? Are connections to tāngata whenua being “strengthened” and is the University providing “innovative responses” to the unique challenges faced by its own tangata whenua – its Māori students?

The only ones capable of answering these questions are the University’s

own Māori students. What does the University look like through their eyes and how, in 2015, is the University responding to their distinct educational demands as Māori?

To be more succinct, what is it like being a Māori at Massey?

Aurora Akauola, a Māori Studies and Sports Business student, believes that the University does, in many respects, value Māori culture.

Aurora is a member of Manawatahi, the Māori Students’ Association based on the Manawatū campus.

“I believe the services that are provided for Māori throughout Massey are brilliant.”

Aurora is particularly pleased with the relationship shared between Manawatahi and the University Registry. She describes this relationship as “genuine” and that, through this relationship, “the voice of Māori students” is “heard” and that the University Registry has a “genuine interest” in hearing this voice.

However, Aurora believes that Māori do not “sit on the same pedestal” as the University hierarchy.

This, she says, is evidenced by the impractical spread of Māori facilities across the Manawatū campus.

“The Māori Studies building is located at the top of a hill”, somewhere “not many people are aware even exists”.

The location of this building is made worse by the fact that the Māori Students’ Association building is situated “on the total opposite side of the campus”. Similarly, the Māori Student Support office and the Māori Recruitment office are located, again, on two separate sites.

“Although Māori students do have great ties with the majority of roopu (groups of people), we would be much more effective if we all shared one facility, in a central area of the University, where we can feed off of each

019

other and make the presence of Māori a lot more known.”

If Māori students and Māori associations worked together with the University hierarchy to make this happen, Aurora believes that it would reap huge rewards for future Māori students on the Manawatū campus. If centrally placed in one facility by the University, Māori students would feel that their “voice was being heard at the same volume” as those running the University.

Sadly, during her time at Massey, Aurora has felt subtle forms judgement from others.

“You can see the judgement in people’s faces and eyes”, she says.

This judgement takes the form of a “you don’t belong here” or “you’re Māori, you shouldn’t be in this paper” kind of vibe.

Māori, says Aurora, “learn in a different environment and sometimes we need more help than others. We speak in a different language but this shouldn’t be a discouraging factor.”

“It should, instead, be taken up as a challenge, not only for lecturers, but for Māori students as well.”

Chevron Hassett studies on the Wellington campus and also serves as the Māori executive for Massey @ Wellington Students’ Association.

Like Aurora, he believes that lecturers at Massey University need to be more sensitive to their Māori students and make more of an effort to embrace Māori culture.

Some lecturers, says Chevron, “do attempt to learn how to pronounce our language correctly, they interact with cultural awareness and also promote a positive example for non- Māori”.

Other lecturers, however, “tend to not care at all”.

Chevron comes from an ethnically-mixed background, meaning that his complexion is fair and he is often not recognised as a Māori by his

fellow students. This circumstance has led to instances within classes and lectures where “people have been talking negatively of Māori and I am right there listening”.

“Those people”, says Chevron, are “arrogant and uneducated on the topic”.

On the Wellington campus, Chevron sees “little drops of Māoritanga slowly being fed into our learning space”.

“For example, the briefs are encouraging the use of Māori words and names within the assignment”.

One thing that is particularly pleasing for Chevron is the use of Māori artwork within the design of the new design facility on the Wellington campus, something Chevron finds “really beautiful”.

Chevron believes that the University could be doing even more to promote, not only Māoritanga, but also New Zealand culture across its campuses.

“The University should encourage New Zealand culture or ‘Kiwiana’ a bit more. There are a lot of students that are proud to be from New Zealand and there are many exchange students who are excited to learn our culture. I think what the University should do is just be more sensitive to all cultures in New Zealand. We are who we are and that’s why we are proud.”

Stevie Greeks, a Bachelor of Communications student, is also based on the Wellington campus.

From what Stevie sees, “Māori culture doesn’t appear to be a priority for Massey as it isn’t very apparent in the everyday running of the University.”

Stevie thinks that this should change, saying: “As New Zealanders, Māori culture is a huge part of what makes our country unique and

020

special. I like the idea of Māori culture being integrated into all aspects of the University, instead of just being something that is celebrated by those who have a Māori heritage.”

Stevie has never felt discriminated against as a Māori student.

“Cultural differences have come up in conversation and assignment work, but I believe that healthy discussion around these differences is a positive and leads to more understanding.”

Kauri Hawkins is an Honours student studying Fine Arts. He is also the president of Kōkiri Ngātahi – the Māori Students’ Association at Massey’s Wellington campus. Unlike Stevie, Kauri has felt forms of discrimination against him as a Māori student.

Kauri often feels that “many people feel uncomfortable in my presence, choosing to look down rather than into my eyes when shaking my hand.”

This discrimination, says Kauri, is “subtle” but “disrespectful in the way that I see the world”.

Kauri sees the redevelopment of the Te Kuratini Marae on the Wellington campus as a step in the right direction, and hopes that it will serve as a “cultural icon in the centre of the campus.” Although he says the consultation process for the redevelopment could have been handled much better than it was.

Another positive action made by the University is in the providing of a Whanau room on campus for the Wellington Māori Students’ Association, Kōkiri Ngatahi.

Kauri says this room provides a space “where students can come to feel at home”.

Kauri would, though, like to see more assistance provided for first-year Māori students, many of whom drop out.

“I know these people, they are my friends.”

Many of these students “found no encouragement from either staff or students”.

These students leave, hoping to return, but this, says Kauri, “rarely happens”.

Nitika Erueti-Satish, a 25-year-old Bachelor of Communications student, is based on the Albany campus and says that there “isn’t a cultural presence on the campus” for Māori students.

Like Aurora, Nitika would like to see a centrally-placed Māori hub at the heart of every Massey campus.

“There should be a Māori hub visibly located on each campus that provides a space for Māori staff recruitment and retention advisers.”

This hub, says Nitika, would help “stamp a Māori identity on the University”.

Nitika feels that the University, to an extent, takes advantage of its Māori students.

“Māori students have contributed our own time and energy to the University working on events and supporting the University when they need some Māori faces to represent them.”

These sorts of events and promotions made Nitika feel “like a statistic representing a quota of students Massey must fill.”

“Tokenism may play a role here”, believes Nitika.

Nitika possesses a bursting résumé when it comes to representing Massey’s Māori student population. During her time on the Wellington campus, Nitika helped found Kōkiri Ngatahi and went on to become its first president.

She then went on to serve two terms as the Māori representative on the University Council.

“Getting elected by my peers to represent them at council level was a very proud moment.”

Nitika has fond memories from her time on the council, saying: “My fellow council members taught me a great deal about how governance is the umbrella for the University and I am very grateful for the time I spent amongst those great minds.”

Nitika believes that the council do take the needs of Māori students seriously.

“I have every confidence that our council has our best interest at heart.”

021

Is the University serious about pursuing these goals alongside its tangata whenua or, like Potemkin, are they tricking the outside world into seeing real progress where there is only artifice and props?

“As New Zealanders, Maori culture is a huge part of what makes our country unique and special. I like the idea of Maori culture being integrated into all aspects of the University, instead of just being something that is celebrated by those who have a Maori heritage.”

However, Nitika sees a gap developing between what the council is trying to implement and what is occurring at the management level of the University.

“What’s being implemented by the management is not a reflection of the strategies that the council has put together for Massey University.”

A major flaw Nitika sees is the uneven distribution of Māori support staff across the three campuses.

“Palmerston North Māori are well taken care of because most of the Māori staff is based on that campus. In Wellington, there is only one active Māori staff member, who is now being made redundant. On the Albany campus, there are three active staff members. This is contradictory when there are more Māori students on the Wellington campus than there are on the Albany campus.”

Nitika has a simple message for the University when it comes to how they should treat its Māori students: “Massey is lucky to have Māori students as qualifications are widely offered these days. We chose Massey and now we need Massey to choose us.”

One concrete way that Massey University is responding to the needs of Māori is through a new scheme about to be implemented in the Manawatū. This scheme, the Māori Academy of Science, is targeting Māori high school students in the region in an attempt to try and get them interested in studying Science at University level.

The project manager of the Māori Academy of Science is Naomi Manu, who thinks the scheme is an “exciting initiative”.

There are, says Naomi, “very few Māori engaging in Science” with little to no “uptake of Science by Māori at high school”.

Five schools in the Manawatū are going to be targeted by the scheme, with field trips planned to help take Science out of the classroom.

The groundwork for the scheme started in March of this year and Naomi says that the support she has received from College of Science has been “fantastic”.

Naomi hopes that up to 60 students will be engaged in the scheme next year. These students will be helped through NCEA by tutors supplied by the University.

A huge part of the scheme is recognising and including aspects of Māori culture, with a particular emphasis being placed on working with the students’ whānau.

Some of the students will be the first generation in their family to attend university, so Naomi believes it is imperative to let “whānau know they have a space here”.

The scheme, says Naomi, “recognises whānau as a driving force for many Māori”.

The scheme is being run in conjunction with the Whānau Ora programme and has, says Naomi “the scope to upscale”.

Naomi believes that, in the long run, the University will “benefit” from the scheme in the post Treaty of Waitangi environment.

“It’s just the right thing to do.”

Through the varied opinions supplied by all of the above Māori students, it becomes clear that they all have their own ideas on how the University could be more “innovative” in how it responds to its Māori students and to Māori culture. While most acknowledge that the University is trying - as seen in the work being done by Naomi and the Māori Academy of Science - progress seems to be advancing at a slower pace than many would like to see.

In the end, it is up to these Māori students and their peers to decide whether this progress is real and effective or whether Massey University is the educational equivalent of a Potemkin village.

It is apparent that Massey University is working up quite a lot of steam in showing itself to be responsive to the needs of its Māori students.

It remains to be seen whether or not all of this steam will produce a hāngi that everyone can eat.

022

DIALOGUE WITH DAVID As Labour’s current spokesperson for tertiary education, research and development, and science and innovation, David Cunliffe hasn’t let last year’s election loss stop him from pursuing “a new era of positive politics in New Zealand”. Julia Braybrook caught up with him to talk about where he thinks New Zealand and its students are headed in the future.

What do you think the biggest issue facing tertiary students is?

I think it’s probably a challenge for them to find a pathway to their chosen futures given all the changes going on in the world and the increasing costs that they face on the way.

What is Labour’s vision for tertiary education?

Firstly that everybody who is capable of getting a tertiary education of whatever form and who is willing to do the work can do so without cost being an object all right? So it’s got to be accessible to all. Secondly, that we have a world class tertiary education system that supports New Zealand’s drive to become a high value, high income fair society. And thirdly that our universities are ranked among the best in the world and that we can be proud of the quality of the education that we get in New Zealand.

There’s been a lot in the media lately about how it’s never been a more difficult time to be a student financially. Do you think that students are being left behind when it comes to financial support?

I do, which is why Labour has pledged to thoroughly review student loans and allowances. The evidence of that is that the hours of work, part-time work that the average student is doing has gone up I think from 14 to 17 hours a week. That’s the average, so you can bet that there are a number of students who are doing a full 40 hour week job as well as studying, that’s gone up I think in the last two years. Parental income thresholds for student allowances have been frozen again by the current government right up to 2019. Fees keep going up, this year they’ve gone up by three per cent not four per cent, but that’s not a material difference.

And of course there are more charges and admin fees and other things in

the student loan system than there were. So yes, it is definitely getting more expensive, let alone the fact that particularly around Auckland, and this is huge for students, living costs and rents are just horrific. So we recognise that the one size fits all on accommodation costs is a poor assumption, something needs to be done about that.

What role, if any, do you think tertiary education plays in cultivating an innovation culture?

Oh it’s huge. If you go to any of the great innovation clusters around the world, places like Silicon Valley, Cambridge, Massachusetts, Boston, New York or Seattle. In all of them, great universities are at the absolute heart of the cluster. Why is that? Because universities produce two things: they produce really smart individuals who can add to any business, and secondly, through their research and the creativity that they undertake while they’re students, they come up with lots of ideas. A lot of these ideas are out of the box and disruptive, and the companies need to be able to learn from that. So you see around lots of universities the companies are lined up waiting to take graduates, and the better the universities are, and the more internationally important the cluster is, the more they attract employers and businesses. So one question is whether Auckland could brand itself as a learning cluster, and whether we could be starting to present it as a destination for employers across multiple universities.

How do you think New Zealand compares to other countries in terms of innovation? Like where do we fall short and where do we succeed?

Well, the first thing is that we don’t invest anywhere near as much as we should, so the numbers here are that New Zealand overall invests about one and a quarter per cent of its Gross Domestic Product (GDP),

023

“...universities produce two things: they produce really smart individuals who can add to any business, and secondly, through their research and the creativity that they undertake while they’re students, they come up with lots of ideas.”

and that’s our national income in research and development. And other comparable countries, like small, smart countries, like Denmark for example invests over two and a half per cent, Finland invests over three percent, Israel and Singapore are both well over three per cent I believe as well. So we’re dreaming if we think we can be a smart, wealthy country unless we invest more in building the intellectual property that earns us those premiums tomorrow. So the first thing is we don’t invest enough. The government doesn’t, and business is even worse. So we have to change the incentives so it pays business to invest in R&D in New Zealand, both basic and commercialization, and that means better use of the tax system, so that we’re not rewarding people for speculating on property, and we are rewarding them for investing in real businesses and smart stuff. It also means that we have better grants system and means that we work with business to identify areas of growing emerging strength, where government and business can work together to create advantage in New Zealand.

Where do you see the future of innovation going in New Zealand?

Well, I think it’s got to be both adding smarts and technology and value to our excellent primary products, so a continuation of investment in our primary sector, and there also needs to be a real resurgence of investment in high value niche manufacturing and services. And in particular, we have quite a strong digital economy in New Zealand with a lot of emerging ICT companies, software, apps and so forth. And I think because those are weightless exports, and it doesn’t matter too much if you’re in the bottom end of the world, that’s an area that we should really be looking at pretty hard. And under the last Labour government we had a very proud track record in that area with our digital strategy, and I’m very keen to make sure that we’re back at the forefront of encouraging smart new tech business, not only to get started here but to flourish. You asked me in the previous question what are we good at and what we’re not, I talked about overall levels of investment. The other thing that stands out about New Zealand is that we’re good at inventing stuff, we’re not as good at marketing, we’re good at starting companies but we’re not good at growing them.

So while we have a high rate of company formation, we have a very high death rate of young companies in their first year or two, with less than 20 per cent of companies living be three years old which is a pretty high die rate. So how can we improve the circumstances for business growth?

We now know more about what should be done, and not everything the government is doing is wrong but they just aren’t doing enough of it, or systematically enough. So we need more incubators, we need more venture capital and angel investment. We need better mentoring and skill development for entrepreneurs. We need to cluster better around regional strengths and we need an overarching nationwide strategy for developing high tech and innovation over the next ten years. Labour is working on one with the sector at the moment.

That sounds good. And what are the drivers of technological change and how can a well-crafted innovation policy mitigate against potential risks, both known and unknown?

Well that’s a hard question. What are the drivers? Well the first overwhelming driver is technology itself. The massive explosion of computer processing power is fundamentally shifting not only the way businesses work but how our whole society works, our media, our communications, our businesses. And that is something we really just don’t even know where that’s going to head. But we do know that Moore’s Law, which says that processing power doubles about every 18 months, it doesn’t look like it’s going to run out any time soon. The second thing we have is ubiquity, and that means we can plug in with our devices wherever we are, anytime, and that means that the rise of mobility, people talk about the ‘always on’ society.

So that means that we’re blurring the boundaries between work and leisure, because you’re always carrying your mobile on you, people always know where you are, all sorts of privacy issues arise and digital footprint, your digital privacy, and automation, which flows from computing is likely to have a savage impact on jobs as we know them now. So for those people, and this is really important for students, those people with advanced skills will be much more likely to get a job and hold a job.

The number of jobs for people without skills will decrease rapidly. But computer automation is also affecting, and well over the next twenty years, will affect a lot of what we call white collar jobs too. Accountants, lawyers, doctors, a lot of what they currently do will be assisted by, and sometimes replaced by, computers. So we’re in for a time of very turbulent change, and Labour’s Future of Work Commission will be looking hard at the impact of those changes on the way we order our education, our welfare systems, and as we move to a sort of lifelong learning model, where we might change jobs quite often because the jobs might change.

You’re quite the peanut-dick-hunter aren’t ya? Like I said last time, get him to use his mouth. Sex is more than penetration. It’s about taking a journey into another world.

It’s about turning two bodies into one. You don’t need penetration for this to happen.

Let him explore your v-jay. He’s admitted to having a small penis, so good on him … and because of that he is probably well trained in performing oral to compensate.

So let him lick that bean and take you on an orgasmic roller coaster.

GURU, I WROTE TO YOU A WHILE AGO ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH A GUY WHOSE PENIS WAS INCREDIBLY SMALL. I GOT RID OF HIM BACK THEN, AND HAVE SINCE FOUND A NEW BOY. WE WERE TAKING THINGS REALLY SLOW, AND THE OTHER NIGHT HAD SEX. HIS PENIS IS A LITTLE BIT BIGGER THAN PEANUT DICK’S, BUT ONLY A LITTLE. WHY ME? I LIKE THIS ONE – A LOT. HE ADMITTED THAT IT WAS SMALL, I DISAGREED THAT IT WAS TO BOOST HIS EGO A LITTLE, BUT I CAN’T GET ANY SATISFACTION OUT OF IT. WHAT DO I DO?

THIS MONTH, WE SAY GOODBYE TO THE SATIRICAL GURU SECTION. NOT ONLY IS GURU EXTREMELY GOOD-LOOKING, BUT HE HAS PROVIDED US WITH ENTERTAINMENT, INSIGHTFUL ADVICE, AND AWKWARD SEX JOKES, FOR NEARLY FOUR YEARS NOW. GURU IS MOVING OVERSEAS TO SPREAD HIS WISE WORDS, SO WILL NO LONGER BE JOINING US EACH MONTH. WE’VE COMPILED A FEW ‘ASK GURU’ ANSWERS FROM THE ARCHIVES, SO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR FINAL HURRAH. RIP GURU – WE DON’T KNOW HOW WE’LL DEAL WITH OUR STICKY SEXUATIONS WITHOUT YOU *TEARS UP*.

RIP GURU

Looks aren’t everything. I once knew a guy who was so picky with girls that he ended up coming out as gay. The perfect girl or guy is out there for you, you’ve just got to keep your eyes wide open, and your pubes constantly trimmed.

Regardless of what people say, falling in love is easy. Fuck, Guru loves everything. But you have to make your heart ready and open. This involves time, self-love, and plenty of hardcore porn, nice lube, and several masturbation sessions. Once you can love yourself, falling in love comes easily.

Learn to love yourself, and then your love will come to you – so cheesy, but so true. And when it does come to you, it’ll come hard. You won’t know what to do, reality becomes better than your dreams (Dr Seuss quote), and porn.

And once you are in love, it’s the hardest thing to fall out of – time may change the way you love someone, but forever and ever, you will always love that person regardless. (“OMG so sentimental, Guru, you’re so sensitive and hot,” say all the girls reading this). Use these lines when you find some fine lady or fella; he or she will be in your pants and heart in no time.

GURU, I SOMETIMES FEEL I DON’T HAVE A HEART. I MEAN I’M 19 YEARS OLD, AND I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND ANYONE ATTRACTIVE. NO-ONE SEEMS TO INTEREST ME. HOW CAN I FALL IN LOVE?

I’ve heard that semen is good for the skin, but jizzing on people’s faces belongs to the pornos.

Firstly, go you for finding a friend who wants your little potential children on their face. Secondly, how did this all cum to happen? After hours of study did you just say, “can I put salty cream all over your face?” Or did you walk in on them going to the loo, and thought, ‘perfect opportunity to jizz on their face’? Either way, you’re a lucky person.

This does not make you a bad person, as long as she gave full consent for you doing so all over her face. Not only does it not make you a bad person, but it has opened up a potential career opportunity (if you are well-endowed) – become a pornstar, and then you can jizz on anyone’s face all the time, everyday. Does it make your friend a bad person? No. If she is into that, then go her. She could also enter the industry with you, and you could both create pornos named, “Hunny, you’re in my eye”, or since you did it at uni, “Cum-a-demia” (like academia, but with cum instead).

However, university isn’t the place to do this kind of thing, and you can get in deep shit if you’re caught doing it – sorry to go all serious on you.

Hire out a nice $20 dingy hotel room that is already cum-stained and do it there…. you’d find plenty of places like that in Palmerston North!

Ooooh… I went there.

DEAR GURU, SO, LAST SEMESTER I GAVE A FRIEND A FACIAL IN THE TURITEA LIBRARY DISABLED TOILETS ON LEVEL 1. DOES THIS MAKE ME A BAD PERSON? DOES IT MAKE HER? WHAT ABOUT THE DISABLED? REGARDS, CONFLICTED.

When it comes to sex, Find out what works best for him, find out what is best for you – find out what is mutually pleasurable. You can do this by trying new things, and communicating with each other.

In relation to increasing the size, no pills, no injections, no surgeries have ever shown guaranteed success in increasing penis size, so it’s not worth it. His willy could fall off completely (it might make no difference though – low blow, he he).

If oral isn’t doing it for you and you’re dying to get slammed, go out and buy a toy with him. If he’s admitted to having a small willy, he shouldn’t mind too much. Remember, doggie allows for maximum penetration, and your g-spot is only two inches deep. So if he’s at least two-inches big, then he should be able to hit the spot.

Guru has this effect on most people. Let me help you control your tap; I’m pretty much a plumber as well.

You need to breathe. It all comes down to breathing techniques. If you feel your undies beginning to soak up, count to 10, inhale through the nose and out your mouth, and think unpleasant thoughts. If you can’t think unpleasant thoughts, and then do this: don’t think about walking in on your parents playing with each other (reverse psychology). Boom.

Vagina drought.

That is a short-term fix, but you need to think about the long term. We need to calm the fanny down. You need to find out what makes you so horny. Find it, then get rid of it, or keep it in moderation.

If all else fails, flick that bean. Flick it super hard.

GURU. YOU MAKE ME WET. BUT A LOT OF OTHER THINGS DO TOO, AND I AM CONSTANTLY HORNY. HOW DO I CONTROL IT?

Guru is this type of man. Guru is not allowed to have sex with anyone, however, because he is so powerful, and so good at lovemaking that the people he makes love to die from the goodness that Guru brings. In all seriousness, you want a lot, and I don’t think any male would be able to provide you with all that. However, Guru will give you some hints to attract the guy of your dreams.

Dress for success. Be hot. Be dangerous. Be a tiger. Be a lion.

Be nice. If you think ‘The One’ has walked up to you, laugh at everything he says – whether it is funny or not. Just laugh. This makes him feel like he is on top of the world and has full reins as to what happens next … you can either let this happen, or dominate him.

Go out and meet new people. Go to some alternative event in Wellington and you’ll find your hipster dream boy there. Join online dating if you don’t like social interaction.

And if all else fails, buy a vibrator – it fits all the criteria you outlined. Brrr moan brrr.

I AM LOOKING FOR LOVE IN WELLINGTON. I’M A THIRD-YEAR FEMALE STUDENT, FOREVER ALONE. I’M LOOKING FOR A GUY WHO WILL LISTEN TO ME, GIVE ME SPACE WHEN I NEED IT, PLEASURE ME WHEN I WANT IT, SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T TALK BACK AND JUST DOES WHAT I WANT. HOW DO I FIND THIS TYPE OF MAN, GURU?

026

PHOTO FEATURE CHEVRON TE-WHETUMATARAU HASSETT

027

SANDFLY

CHEV HASSETT www.chevhassett.com facebook.com/chevhassettphotography

Chev Hassett ‘As a photographer I primarily focus within disciplines of social ethnography and documentary photography.

I use the camera as a vehicle to understand humanities interaction with one another, within their social and cultural environments, and within their community landscape. Aesthetically I feel my work has strongly been influenced from my relationship with graffiti, hip-hop culture and my personal connection to urbanization. Allowing my photographic images to contain a raw and real persona with bold compositional framing and vibrant colours.’

Sandfly portrays a visual poem about my personal and intimate

THE WORK

experiences and recollections about this place I call home. It isn’t a documentary about a suburb of poverty, but it is a celebration of strength and pride that is embedded deep within our culture. Every image encompasses the mana of this town and the true depiction of the every day individual of Naenae. These photographs I have taken all deeply grasp a strong sense of love to me and I want these to really shape your own exclusive understanding about Naenae.

Even though the aspect of struggle is potent here, the aspect of defeat is not. We are all proud people and this ongoing series is an accumulation of this.

028

029

030

INTERNSHIPS Educational or Exploitative?

Internships should provide students with real-world experience in their chosen field, but they usually involve no pay. Julia Braybrook discusses the value of both paid and unpaid internships.

22-year-old New Zealander, David Hyde, made headlines earlier this year when it was publicised that he was sleeping in a tent, unable to afford the costs of living in Geneva on an unpaid internship for the UN. While he has since resigned from his internship, he told the New Zealand Herald that “it is somewhat degrading spending hours trying your best to convince people to let you work for them for free. For six months. In some of the most expensive cities in the world.” Hyde later admitted to arranging the publicity stunt in order to raise awareness about the plight of unpaid interns.

Sadly, Hyde’s is not the first case of internships stealing the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. Jezebel reported on August 18, that lawmakers in Missouri were considering an intern dress code after claims of sexual harassment by former interns led to the resignation of House Speaker John Diehl and State Senator Paul LeVota. A week earlier, on August 11, Jezebel reported that Dualstar Entertainment Group, which is owned Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, was being sued for wage theft on behalf of 40 current and former interns. Former intern, Shahista Lalani, said she “was doing the work of three interns in 50-hour weeks” and claimed she was hospitalised for dehydration during her time at the Olsen’s fashion label, The Row. While the case has yet to be decided, similar cases have led to the closure of internship programmes, including at Condé Nast - publishers of notable magazines including Vogue, GQ, and The New Yorker.

The UN has come under increasing scrutiny for its unpaid internships.

According to an August 14 article in The Guardian, the latest UN staff data showed that “for the year 2012-13, 4,018 unpaid interns worked across all the agency’s departments, 68% of whom were women.” In the same article, Unpaid is Unfair campaign group founder, Matthew Hamilton,

said that “it can easily cost $10,000-$20,000 to do an internship for six months once you factor in all of those costs [including housing, health insurance, and visas]. It’s completely absurd to expect young people to front those costs.”

Despite students increasingly being put under financial stress, the problem with unpaid internships is not so much the lack of pay. Rather, it’s the belief that to get a job, one needs experience, and to get that experience, an internship, usually unpaid, is the only way to go. It’s a belief that means that the only ones eligible for that experience are the ones who can afford to pay for it upfront, leaving most students in the dust. As British Labour party politician, Ed Miliband, said in an August 15 article in The Mirror, “it’s a system rigged in favour of those who can afford it.”

Furthermore, not paying interns doesn’t just give those born into opportunity yet another step up, it contributes to inequality at all levels. Intern Nation author, Ross Perlin, said in a 2014 article in Mic that unpaid internships “ultimately exacerbates social inequality because key professions get filled up with people from privileged backgrounds; it not only affects who gets ahead and does well, it also plays a big role in terms of the voices we hear in the media, politics, arts, etc.”

And when it came to better employment opportunities post-unpaid internship, there weren’t many. A 2013 survey by the National Association of Colleges and Employers found that while 63.1 per cent of paid internships received at least one job offer, only 37 per cent of unpaid interns got an offer. In fact, those who completed an unpaid internship “only faired 1.8 percentage points better” than those who hadn’t completed an internship at all. A 2014 Forbes article also found that there continued to be a pay disparity between those who had completed paid

031

“In the purest sense an internship is supposed to be a learning experience.”

“Furthermore, not paying interns doesn’t just give those born into opportunity yet another step up, it contributes to inequality at all levels.”

internships and those who had not. While students with paid internships earned an average salary of US$51,930, students who had completed unpaid internships “tended to take lower-paying jobs than those with no internship experience whatsoever ($35,721 and $37,087 respectively).”

However, paid internships in New Zealand aren’t so easy to come by, with one student commenting on a 2014 article in the New Zealand Herald that the only psychology internship they could find was unpaid.

“40 hours per week for 1 year, and they expected me to pay the person who would be supervising me for their time! I said no and now I have no internship...Completely unfair.” Another student, who did a voluntary internship as they couldn’t get a paid one, said they learnt a lot from it “but my willingness to learn felt exploited as they made me photocopy, vacuum and deliver things before I was given work relevant to my studies.” They said that “internships are a great idea, even voluntary ones where firms can’t afford to pay,” but added that “students should not be exploited.”

In the article, Auckland University career development manager, Catherine Stephens, said that “in the purest sense an internship is supposed to be a learning experience.”

“If the internship is unpaid, the internship should mostly be for the benefit of the student...but if they are taking the place of an employee, then the work should be paid because they’re doing the work that otherwise an employee would do.”

Stephens added that highly structured work placements were integral to earning a degree. “In teaching it’s quite cut and dried – practicums are part of the training...everyone knows where they stand in these arrangements.”

“Learning on the job is just vital because students can’t come out [of

university] and instantly be all things to all people. Employers must provide opportunity for them to grow into these roles.”

A communications student, who completed an internship at a marketing company as part of Massey’s Communication Internship paper, said that she felt her placement had unreasonable expectations, and expected her to finish a fundraising plan within two sessions. While “overall it was a good experience” her placement was “really bad, like I didn’t enjoy actually going there.” However, she found that it was “a good insight” that “kind of made it clearer where I don’t want to work, what sort of environment I don’t want to work in.” She said that if she did another internship in the future, she would do it at a bigger company, as at her placement “it was really small...so they just didn’t really have much time for an intern.”

“All of the work I did was all individual like there wasn’t really much going in like shadowing, like it was just ‘do that.’”

She said that when it came to unpaid internships,“mine counted as a paper which was good for the way that you do a paper, but then one of my other lecturers pointed out yesterday, he was like ‘you pay money to go work for free.’”

“I think generally you have to go for an unpaid internship to get experience, but I think it would be nice if they paid you even if it’s like a little bit, or at least gave you something afterwards to say thank you for all your work and stuff...I feel like I don’t like them, but you have to do them in order to get experience to do a paid internship.”

While she didn’t experience any harassment as part of her internship, she received a “really bad evaluation,” which she wasn’t expecting, as when she left “they were like ‘oh thank you so much for all your hard work, we really appreciate it’ and all that stuff.” It was only when the

032

TIPS FROM MASSEY’S CAREER DEVELOPMENT CONSULTANT GRANT VERHOEVEN MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A CONTRACT, AND HAVE SOMEONE READ OVER IT IF YOU ARE UNSURE ABOUT ANYTHING. CHECK WHO YOU WILL BE REPORTING TO AND FIND OUT ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE THEY’VE HAD WORKING WITH INTERNS. EVEN SPEAK TO A PAST INTERN IF YOU CAN. CLARIFY IF IT’S PAID/ UNPAID FROM THE BEGINNING. CONFIRM THE DURATION. GENERALLY BETWEEN 1-3 MONTHS IS OK – MORE THAN THIS AND YOU SHOULD EXPECT TO BE REMUNERATED. CONFIRM THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO USE THE WORK YOU DO FOR YOUR PORTFOLIO/ CV.

paper coordinator called her in to talk to her about the evaluation that she found out. “They rated me so badly on everything, but to my face they were so nice so they never let me think there was a problem, but in the reflection they did.”

However, she said that she thought her placement “was just a bad experience, like I’ve spoken to other people who’ve done it and they thought it was great...they really enjoyed it.”

One such student was a medical student, working in hospitals in Wellington. The student said that “placement has been largely good.”

She acknowledged that “because of time constraints and other factors, doctors aren’t always in the frame of mind to teach” and “others simply don’t have the inclination.” But she said that “placement provides a much more stimulating learning environment than a simulated class setting.”

She said regarding unpaid placements, “from a utility point of view, whilst we are still learning and are of no practical use to the system...it’s conceivable that our getting paid is unwarranted...especially considering the period of learning on placements without gaining a distinct medical role is extensive – thus not comparable to a trainee role where paid training lasts for days or weeks before commencing work.”

“On the other hand it is undeniable that a huge number of unpaid hours are spent on placement. This doesn’t appear unreasonable considering a doctor’s end salary will, in theory, back pay to cover loans and extra expenses. There are however often monetary stresses during that period of prolonged full time study and placement.”

Unpaid placements weren’t the only stresses placed upon medical students. The Herald Scotland reported on May 27 that a survey carried out by researchers from the University of Dundee and Cardiff University found that more than half of the 3,800 medical students surveyed had “reported witnessing the abuse – verbal and physical – of workplace colleagues or themselves.” In the Netherlands, a 2005 survey published in PubMed found that of 113 medical students surveyed, 15 of the 75 female students had experienced sexual harassment, with seven of the 15 cases consisting of “combinations of unwanted behaviour and unwanted sexually-coloured remarks.”

In New Zealand, a recent survey released by the Resident Doctor’s Association found that one in 10 junior doctors reported bullying or

sexual harassment by senior colleagues in the last two years. And a survey released in August of over 300 New Zealand medical students revealed that 52% had experienced bullying or sexual harassment in the last year.

New Zealand Medical Students’ Association president, Elizabeth Berryman, said in an August 16 article on Scoop that “it is unacceptable that bullying is so rife in our hospitals and disturbing that some senior clinicians are the most persistent offenders.”

With only 11% of those surveyed reporting bullying or harassment to the DHB or medical schools, Berryman said that “medical students are placed in a vulnerable position at the bottom of the medical hierarchy with little means of holding more senior perpetrators to account.”

Harassment of students included a consultant refusing to learn the names of his students, instead calling all his Asian students, including female students, as “Bob” or “Bill.” Sexism was also reported when nurses were asked, “who does Bill need to sleep with to get a prescription pad around here?”, while another student was asked if they “ate dog for dinner.”

The medical student interviewed by MASSIVE said that harassment is “a difficult one in medicine as there is such a deeply engrained hierarchy.”

“There are often situations when the very doctor who is treating trainees poorly is the same doctor who is in charge or marking your run or in other ways has sway over your reputation.” Harassment was also a problem with patients, with the student saying that “older male patients have also been inappropriate to me on placement – this is an alarmingly common trend in hospital I’ve found actually!” She added that she found harassment from patients “more of an issue than condescension from any doctor.” However, she said that despite both experiencing and witnessing verbal harassment, she found that “the majority of the doctors who I’ve worked with have been perfectly respectful and have had a helpful attitude towards teaching – which in high stress medical emergencies is not an easy thing to cultivate!”

Despite her experiences, it wouldn’t stop her practicing medicine, saying that she found it “incredible the poignant moments in people’s lives you get to be a part of as a health professional.”

“That to me is the most rewarding part of training, and the thing that gets me up at six to keep going back.”

033

034

THE 2015 RUGBY WORLD CUP Will we win or are we fucked?

From Ma’a Nonu’s shred following his pre-season circumcision, to Captain McCaw’s anal fissures, Carwyn Walsh discusses the upcoming Rugby World Cup.

When I was a young lad I spent endless hours at my local park lining up the winning penalty of the Rugby World Cup. Despite the gumboots on my feet and always having to keep a vigilant eye out for stranger danger, I had a remarkably successful conversion rate. Rugby ball after rugby ball sailed through the afternoon air and over the crossbar. Every imagined scenario brought with it some new added pressure – not only would New Zealand lose the final, my home would also be burnt down by Satan and my entire family would be bludgeoned to death by bad men armed with softball bats.

Ever since the first World Cup in 1987, rugby-mad kids across New Zealand have, probably without my troubled childhood imagination, been lining up their own winning score in their very own Rugby World Cup final. All these kids have the same dream: to one day pull on that hallowed All Black jersey and get their own chance at glory and national adulation.

Perhaps, more than anything else, this explains why the rugby community in New Zealand take the World Cup so seriously. The World Cup is the pinnacle of our national game, where our boys take on the rest of the world cheered on by a rugby public still nursing their own broken sporting aspirations.

Every kick and every pass is scrutinised by a rugby public quietly thinking ‘I could have done that better’. Our own players are expected to reach heights none of us could ever hope to. Wizened old ladies think nothing of shouting obscenities and advice at the best players in the world in between puffs on their oxygen tanks and Winfield Reds.

Every World Cup, our country suddenly changes from its stoic and laid-back self into an unhinged and patriotic maniac.

The only thing that seems to matter is winning.

All this added pressure has led to mixed results in our World Cup history. Out of the seven World Cups since 1987, the All Blacks, despite nearly always being favourites, have won the World Cup only twice.

All these World Cups have produced scenes etched onto our national sporting consciousness.

Already Richie McCaw’s heroics in 2011 have become national lore.

My memories of the 2011 final are a touch foggy due to the fact I had been on the lash most of that day in eager expectation of an easy victory.

Nevertheless, it is impossible not to remember Captain McCaw playing through the pain of a broken foot and a particularly nasty case of anal fissures to lead the All Blacks to our first triumph in nearly a quarter of a century.

This year the World Cup is upon us again and, I am sure, new memories are about to be forged by McCaw and company. Like most prior World Cups, the All Blacks go in as overwhelming favourites, with a nation expecting nothing less than total victory. The nation is optimistic like we nearly always are every four years; many think merely turning up will guarantee our victory.

Sorry to be the poo in your cornflakes, but this optimism needs to be tempered by a few inconvenient truths.

Firstly, past All Black sides – all talented, all expected to win – have never managed to win a World Cup on foreign shores. A further dampener is the fact that the tournament is being hosted by England, whose playing surfaces are more conducive to uncovering mass graves than playing the flowing rugby we excel at. Also, we will have to carry the baggage of being the favourites, meaning every side, especially in the knock-out phase of the tournament, will play well above themselves to beat us.

This knock-out stage is really where it counts. One-off games often

035

result in one-off results. When you factor in the easy nature of our pool, we will be heading into the play-off rounds severely undercooked, meaning we could, theoretically, be tipped over in our first high intensity game.

Finally, playing in the Northern Hemisphere means referees suddenly forget to referee the fundamentals, such as forward passes, and are nearly always swayed by home crowds who universally hate us.

Now I’ve finished being a miserable fuddy-duddy, it’s time to move on to the positives and why this time we can finally overcome our foreign hoodoo and be the first side that successfully defends the World Cup. Although often cited as a weakness, our side, in my opinion, is blessed to have an experienced core of players, many of whom will be playing in their fourth World Cup. These players have achieved everything in the game and will be desperate to sign off as champions. Come the big pressure games, it will be these players that the younger players look for to calm the nerves and provide the platform for our obvious talent to shine. And, to be fair, some of these older boys aren’t in too bad a nick. Ma’a Nonu, for instance, is enjoying a vintage season. He looks determined and is in good shape after shedding ten kilos following his pre-season circumcision.

Another major plus is our exciting backline. No other backline comes close to ours. The English are seen as a major threat to us, but, in reality, their backs possess about the same amount of power as a 90-year-old man’s ejaculation. Provided our forwards do the hard yards and give us a platform, no-one will come close. The last Bledisloe Cup game in Auckland is living proof of this. If we can replicate that performance, if, like in that game, our forwards hit rucks like junkies searching for a fix, the backs will do the rest and the World Cup will be as good as won.

One final advantage we have is a very exciting bolter in the form of Nehe Milner-Skudder. Not only does he have a name that’s only trumped for coolness by MAWSA president Tom Pringle, but he also has unbelievable talent. As a good Hawke’s Bay man, I hate to give credit to any Manawatu player, but Milner-Skudder’s ability trumps any provincial bias.

Every time we’ve reached a World Cup final we’ve possessed a similar sort of raw talent that catches other teams by surprise. In 1987 it was a butchers’ apprentice called John Kirwan; in 1995 it was a bank teller called Jonah Lomu; in 2011, defences couldn’t cope with the Pride of Wavell Street, one Israel Dagg. Hopefully, if he’s picked (you will know by the time you’re reading this), Milner-Skudder can continue this fine tradition and cause as much shock and surprise as the David Bain verdicts.

Before a ball is kicked in anger, the All Blacks are, as mentioned, the clear and overwhelming favourites. They could and should, if they play to their potential, win this year’s World Cup. But if this doesn’t happen – if the unimaginable occurs and we do fuck it up - let us remember one crucial thing: it isn’t the end of the world.

The sun will rise the next day, John Key’s Government will eventually fall and Hawke’s Bay will still possess the Ranfurly Shield.

I know I will get carried away with the patriotic fervour that will grip the nation. I know that, if we do lose, I will be cursing and carrying-on with the best of them. What I do hope, though, is no matter the result, I will remember that the All Blacks are like the rest of us. They, like all of us fans, were once that little kid kicking that winning score.

The only difference is that they are the only ones that will have to live with the real consequences. And that, above everything else, is something we should keep in mind.

036

HOW TO GRADUATE WITH A BACHELOR OF CHEATING “Yes of course, in one sense it is unfair, but that’s capitalism.”

With the ongoing academic and financial pressures associated with gaining a degree, Julia Braybrook discusses ways in which students are cheating in order to achieve their qualification.

When it comes to cheating at university, it’s hardly a new phenomenon.

As a student at Yale in the 1930s, Henry Ford II paid another student to do his assignment for him. While the story has never been confirmed, his professor apparently opened up Ford’s paper and the other student’s bill for writing the essay fell out. Ford admitted that he cheated, and never graduated from Yale. Fast-forward to today, and it’s arguably never been easier to cheat. Type in ‘how to cheat at university’ on any given day, and you’ll get 30,600,000 results. ‘How to beat Turnitin’ will get you 4,740,000 results, while ‘buy assignments online’ gets over 25,000,000.

In fact, Time reported on June 25, that 82% of U.S. college alumni admitted to cheating during their undergraduate degree. So with students having these resources at their fingertips, just how widespread is it, and how do universities handle these cases?

A 2011 Telegraph article found in a survey of more than 80 universities across the United Kingdom, academic misconduct was soaring, with more than 17,000 cases recorded in the 2009-10 academic year. While the figure was the highest in four years, up by 50 per cent, the article said that “the true figure will be far higher because many were only able to provide details of the most serious cases and let lecturers deal with less serious offences.”

Technology was definitely prominent in the cases reported, with ten “uses of unauthorised technology” at Coventry University, while a student from the University of the West of Scotland was caught with their notes in an MP3 player.

Back home, universities are still dealing with quite a large number of cases, with a 2014 article in the New Zealand Herald reporting that in 2013, New Zealand universities dealt with 540 cases of cheating. The

University of Waikato, despite being one of the smallest universities, had 254 cases. The University of Canterbury, in comparison, had 17.

According to the Herald, it suggests large differences “in what institutions consider cheating, and how they target and record it”.

And even with Massey’s in-depth academic integrity policy, they were still faced with four cases where students purchased assignments in 2013.

According to the Herald article, a spokesperson for the university said “it is treated seriously”, and while the students could’ve been excluded they “chose to withdraw once that was put to them”.

The art of purchasing assignments written by others, or ‘ghostwriters’, is perhaps the biggest trend when it comes to cheating at university. A June 14 article on News.com.au reported that 1000 students from 16 Australian universities had used services from the MyMaster company to both write assignments and sit online tests.

Ghostwriting is turning into a lucrative business, with UK-based ghostwriting service, ACAD WRITE, earning 1.8 million GBP, a massive leap from its first earnings of 200,000 GBP in 2005, according to an April 13 article in the Telegraph. According to CEO Thomas Nemet, the company is expecting another increase for its 2015 earnings.

According to Nemet, whose company will write a 10,000 word dissertation for around 1,800 GBP, “money makes things easier, and this also holds true for education.

“Yes of course, in one sense it is unfair, but that’s capitalism.”

However, Nemet says in the article that clients come from “many different backgrounds and circumstances.”

“Some clients enjoy the convenience of having their papers ghost written and, on their part, possess the necessary financial means to do

037

this...However, in many cases clients are working towards obtaining their academic qualifications while holding down a full time job.

“Usually, they have invested a lot of time in carrying out research on their papers but are unable to meet a particular deadline. In such cases, students turn to us to assist them. In addition, health reasons such as burnout or an unforeseen illness makes it difficult for the clients to finish their work on their own...Other clients are simply overtaxed with the strain of writing an academic paper and therefore turn to us to help them.”

Ghost writing also seems to be the Achilles ’ heel of Turnitin’s formidable defences against plagiarism. Despite Turnitin’s assurance on their website that “instructors should rest assured that [cheating] tactics do not work” because of the program’s algorithms, it is difficult to flag plagiarism from other students or from ‘ghostwritten’ assignments.

But when students are caught, Massey considers it a serious breach of academic integrity.

Massey University’s statement on academic integrity says: “We require students and staff to conduct themselves honestly, fairly, truthfully, ethically and responsibly in all areas of academic endeavour.

We trust that throughout your student life you will continue to develop the attributes, skills and capabilities of academic integrity. They will assist you to take up responsible citizenship well beyond your time at Massey.”

Breaches of academic integrity, as defined by Massey, “include but are not limited to” plagiarism, cheating in exams or tests, submitted assignments “written entirely or in part by another person,” presenting work that is false or has been copied, falsely representing contributions of individuals in group assignments and “any misrepresentation of academic

achievement or records”.

The university deals with such breaches through three criteria: 1.

Expectation 2.

The nature of a breach 3.

Extent of a breach.

The results from these criteria are then used to determine the penalties imposed, which is determined by three levels. The least serious are considered Level 1, where the breach is “managed informally by the relevant staff member.” Level 2 breaches are managed by an Academic Integrity Officer in the relevant College, and Level 3 breaches are assessed by the university’s “highest academic misconduct authority,” either the Assistant Vice-Chancellor Academic and International or the Assistant Vice-Chancellor Research and Enterprise. According to the policy, Level 3 breaches include use of assignments from an internet site, paying for assignments or exam answers and “any academic misconduct by a doctoral student regardless of the extent.”

Consequences of the breach can range from repeating the assignment with a capped mark, a fail grade for a course, and suspension or exclusion from the university.

However, Massey University Students’ Association president Linsey Higgins says the rules could use clarification. In a July 27 article in the Manawatu Standard, Higgins said that there should be something in place for students to understand the acceptable boundaries and practices. “I think a lot of people understand it in different ways.” She added that “there are instances when students get caught out and it’s because they didn’t know. Clarity is always the better option.” And it’s something that the University of Auckland is striving to achieve. While

038

“If there are people cheating out there it does degrade the value of your own degree if you’ve worked hard for it.”

According to Nemet, whose company will write a 10,000 word dissertation for around 1,800 GBP, “money makes things easier, and this also holds true for education.”

the university has previously had an online academic integrity course, it was made compulsory for all students this year, making it “the only tertiary institute in New Zealand where such a test is mandatory”. The course consists of five modules with readings teaching students about academic integrity, with a test at the end of each module. According to a July 12 article on Stuff, Auckland’s Deputy Vice-Chancellor, John Morrow, said that those who didn’t complete the test were at risk of having their enrolment “discontinued”. “[The course] means that people can’t claim later on they had no idea that copying and pasting was against the rules.”

He added that cheating devalued the work of other students, saying that “if there are people cheating out there it does degrade the value of your own degree if you’ve worked hard for it.”

So what is driving students to cheat?

According to an August 14 article in the Sydney Morning Herald, a 2008 study found at least half of all Australian university students had cheated at least once, including lying to gain extensions (23 per cent) and altering attendance records (21 per cent).

The article goes on to say that “the growing impetus to cheat is clear.”

“On the demand side, many students leave school or undergraduate courses without the necessary skills to perform at higher levels. Some have a background in passive learning, not critical thinking demanded in some degrees. From an early age, the financial investment in education has become so great as to demand a return, in terms of marks or credentials, at just about any cost....And students feel under stress financially due to a of government support and academically through growing credentialism in the job market.”

However, despite ongoing academic and financial pressures, cheating was not something to be condoned, here or elsewhere. Professor Nick Braisby, pro vice-chancellor at the University of London said in an April 13 article in the Telegraph that he could “understand why a student who is struggling with the pressures of getting a good degree,

might feel it’s a good idea for them, but it absolutely isn’t...We have to safeguard the standards of our academic program and the integrity of our undergraduates.

039

MONTHLY MUSIC ROUND UP PAUL BERRINGTON JULIO BASHMORE – KNOCKIN’ BOOTS (BROADWALK) The aftermath of dubstep has seen the key young upstarts of the genre have to adapt and rethink their approach to music in a number of ways.

Some, including the likes of Scuba and Cosmin TRG have taken their sound to the darkened rooms and basements of European techno clubs, while Skream seems to have moved on from dubstep completely, favouring disco funk hybrids.

Julio Bashmore, already a significant part of the transition from dubstep to UK bass music through his seminal ‘Battle for Middle You’,

DR . DRE – COMPTON (AFTERMATH/INTERSCOPE) A comeback album from the richest man in rap history, a 50-year-old billionaire whose last album came out way back in 1999. So is it worth all the attention it’s received so far? Well, Compton is an interesting album in many ways. First of all it shows Dr. Dre putting more of ‘himself’ into the project than I think anyone would have expected.

It sounds surprisingly energised and engaged, far from the executive produced collection it could have been. That said, it’s the kind of album has

SEVEN DAVIS JR. – UNIVERSES (NINJA TUNE) Many artists have taken on the persona of Prince over the years; his androgynous and adventurous approach has been one of the more influential musical narratives of the last 25 years. Classically trained Seven Davis Jr. was born in 1981 - a turning point for Prince’s own career - and brought up on Aretha Franklin, Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson, Frank Sinatra, Burt Bacharach and Sammy Davis Jr.. His own musical output sits somewhere between these foundational influences.

In saying that, the San Francisco house and jungle

THE PHOENIX FOUNDATION – GIVE UP YOUR DREAMS (UNIVERSAL) There’s something instantly satisfying as soon as you hear The Phoenix Foundation’s new album.

It’s a mixture of familiarity and a feel good vibe that hits you from the first few notes, and that infectious optimism dominates Give up Your Dreams - the band’s sixth studio long-player.

Opener ‘Mountain’ sets an energetic atmosphere, the album supplemented by large dollops of psychedelia and dreamy pop throughout,

seems eager to exist somewhere in between these two philosophies. The production on Knockin’ Boots fuses the garage and bass rhythms of his early work with a new found – well according to the press notes, a re-acquaintance with his brother’s collection of classic house. It’s got a distinctly poppy vibe throughout, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, and if you’re a fan of Disclosure and perhaps new to house music, this is a great starting point. ‘Holding On’ and ‘Rhythm of Auld’ have summer hit written all over them, and if you need a record to throw on before you head out, try this.

drawn a lot of superlatives, purely from being better than expected, not because it’s a truly great record in its own right. Hip-hop’s current golden child, Kendrick Lamar, makes his mark on ‘Genocide’ and ‘Deep Water’, while the multi-talented Anderson Paak features heavily throughout. These collaborations are the best on the album, and it’s songs with fellow elder statesman Xzibit & Ice Cube that sound laboured and unnecessary. Still, this isn’t anywhere near as bad as it should have been, and if you’re a fan of 90s hip-hop you’re likely to enjoy one last ride with Dre. scenes seem to have been an equally significant influence. Universes is what you’d call future soul, but that doesn’t mean the album is some sort of neo-R&B hybrid. Here, the music is far more abstract, challenging and funky, almost constantly inventive, and often impossible to categorise fairly.

Highlights include the down and dirty ‘Sunday Morning’, SDJ’s looping vocal supplanted a fuzzy bassline, as well as ‘Be a Man’. While Universes is a little alienating in short bursts, as an album it functions surprisingly well, drawing you into its rich tapestry, finally standing as another fine addition to the tradition of cosmic black music. including the gleeful lyricism of ‘Jason’ and hazy vibes of ‘Silent Orb’. The band have openly expressed their enthusiasm for a couple of changes in the creative process, and 15 years into their career, they sound as focused and contemporary as ever. There are successful collaborations with fellow Kiwi dream pop traveller Lawrence Arabia, and the whole thing sounds like a band completely comfortable in their own skin. GUYD shows them writing great songs and transferring them well to the studio. 2015 looks like it could be one of the best years yet for The Phoenix Foundation.

040

FILM REVIEWS PAUL BERRINGTON THE DUKE OF BURGUNDY (2014) DIRECTOR: PETER STRICKLAND STARRING: SIDSE BABETT KNUDSEN, CHIARA D’ANNA

RATING:

British writer/director Peter Strickland is one of the more distinctive film voices of recent times. And he has carved out a niche for himself by offering material that fuses genre narratives with a psychological depth that make his movies seem sort of like character studies set in forbidden worlds. His latest, the visually stunning The Duke of Burgundy, combines the sumptuous imagery of 70s European erotica with something approaching high drama, delivering not only his most complete film but also a small masterpiece of subversive cinema.

In a quiet Eastern European village, the sort of gothic backwater you’d likely see in a classic Hammer horror movie, Cynthia (Sidse Babett Knudsen) has hired a new housekeeper. Evelyn (Chiara D’Anna), is also her junior lepidopterologist, a wide eyed student who at first seems meek and easily manipulated. That suits Cynthia, a control freak whose eye for detail make Evelyn’s job an increasingly complicated game of cat and mouse, her tasks becoming more and more sexualised and ultimately frustrating. Soon it becomes clear that Cynthia is not as dominant as she at first seems, and that she is following instructions written out in detail

by Evelyn every day. As the two woman push their own personal desires

YAKUZA APOCALYPSE: THE GREAT WAR OF THE UNDERWORLD (2015) DIRECTOR: TAKASHI MIIKE STARRING: YAYAN RUHIAN, LILY FRANKIE, HAYATO ICHIHARA, RIKO NARUMI, AND REIKO TAKASHIMA.

RATING: While not up there with his very best, Japanese auteur Takashi Miike’s latest genre mash-up, Yakuza Apocalypse: The Great War of the Underworld, has cult film written all over it. With intense martial arts battles, bloodsucking vampires, and some of the most ridiculous scenes you’ll see all year, don’t expect it to make any sense.

Local crime boss Kiamura (Lily Frankie) looks after the locals we’re told, with his gang of Yakuza working strictly from the rule that there is no hurting the civilians. Yet some of the crew are getting restless, and when a delegation from the society of Yakuza arrive to remove Kiamura out of his high-mannered and surprisingly ethical place, it’s clear it’s been an inside job. But not Kageyama (Hayato Ichihara) - he’s the disciple, a Yakuza with skin too sensitive for tattoos. He’s also the man favoured by Kiamura to take the reins. Yet little does Kageyama know what those reins actually entail, with his idolised boss actually a vampire extracting blood

to greater and greater lengths, every aspect of their relationship becomes a testing ordeal, fantasy overwhelming reality, where trust is tested to further extremes. Cynthia seems determined to undermine Evelyn’s every motive, yet it becomes clear that this bizarre relationship is not as hierarchal as it first seems, and that both woman are fully committed to discovering each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

Set in a world devoid of male influence and politics, Strickland’s film is as compellingly original as his previous two films, Katalin Varga and Berberian Sound Studio, where genre conventions – the revenge thriller and Italian horror – were updated into richly observed meditations on the odd characters that might exist in these complicated social environments. It’s that exact approach that make his films so different. The Duke of Burgundy might on the surface seem like the sort of smut 70s sexploiters like Jesús Franco and Sergio Martino, yet that is simply the framework from which Strickland explores his characters with a deadly serious eye, making this erotica that offers as much in terms of psychological drama as it does sexual imagery. In fact there is no nudity here, but rarely would you find a film so sexualised in every shot, with each elaborate composition suggesting much more than it shows. Cinematographer Nic Knowland has created a world as richly textured as the moths and butterflies central to Cynthia and Evelyn’s lives; an environment that seems to exist in some magically surreal time and setting, matching Strickland’s elaborately constructed interpretation of gender politics.

A true original that is almost impossible to describe accurately, The Duke of Burgundy draws you into its bizarre world with ease. The strength of the performances and a convincingly precise script make what could have been pretentious muck into something exotic, thoughtful, and atmospheric.

from local hoods he keeps in a hidden basement, um, in a knitting circle.

The responsibilities of protecting the neighbourhood now lay firmly on Kaegyama’s shoulders, and after some trepidation he literally sinks his teeth into the job, creating an army of Yakuza townspeople ready for the apocalypse. When the actual Yakuza – I know you’re getting confused – start realising that their profits will diminish, they bring in the help of a coffin carrying priest, a martial arts expert who dresses like a ten-year-old ready for school, and the toughest monster in the world - a fluffy frog.

Think about what’s going in Yakuza Apocalypse a little too much and you’re likely to write it off as silly and confusing, but let the energetic action and oddball characters get under your skin and you might just find it a whole lot of fun. This is escapist entertainment with the irony turned up to the maximum. An action film that wants you to laugh out loud at each ludicrous plot twist and bizarre set piece, and it keeps them coming thick and fast. Arguably the only director able to bring the weird world of Japanese manga to the big screen with any sort of conviction, the inventiveness only goes so far here, and there are times when the film grates with repetition or nastiness. That said, few genre films take the mickey quite as much as Yakuza Apocalypse, with its hero’s skin so sensitive he can’t be tattooed, and the female boss of the yakuza suffering from a leaky tap, in her head.

While this film never matches Miike’s very best work, it’s still ten times more entertaining than most Marvel blockbusters, and further proves he’s one of the most uniquely adventurous filmmakers of his generation.

041

BOOK REVIEW TARYN DRYFHOUT DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE: CURIOUS ADVENTURES AND CAUTIONARY TALES OF A FORMER PLAYBOY BUNNY HOLLY MADISON

“She even touches on her discomfort about what appears to be paedophiliac tendencies, from Mr. Playboy himself.”

RATING:

After reading Isabella St. James’ book about living at the Playboy mansion, and Kendra Wilkinson’s two autobiographical accounts, I felt that I was pretty well versed in all things Playboy. I expected Down the Rabbit Hole to be yet another source of guilty pleasure for people like me – those who have indulged in the Playboy dream and the iconic lifestyle it has come to be associated with. However, after binge reading this book over a couple of days, I found myself overwhelmed with a deep sadness at what Holly Madison endured in her time there and in what I had, myself, reinforced for years (in 2008 I bought so much

Playboy merchandise I must have kept the place in business).

Holly’s story presents her spiral down the rabbit hole vortex that is the Playboy world, and life lived under the psychological torment of Hugh Hefner and his many girlfriends (with the exception of Bridget Marquardt, whom Holly cites as her BFF). It also depicts her emotional decline into a dark state of anxiety, depression, and suicidal contemplation. I was also saddened to learn that she only moved into the Playboy mansion when she found herself homeless.

Online, Holly has been the target of a lot of comments surrounding her decision to stay on at the mansion, and for finally leaving the mansion but jumping straight into another abusive relationship with an older man. However, I now know that abusive people target people who are vulnerable from previous abuse, and it was clear to me from reading this book that this was the case with Holly.

Despite all the sadness, the book still delivers all the details that curious fans will want to read about: drugs, sex, alcohol, cat fights and masturbation are all discussed. She even touches on her discomfort about what appears to be paedophiliac tendencies, from Mr. Playboy himself.

The book finishes with her writing about her wedding and the birth of her daughter Rainbow, and it left me genuinely hoping that in writing this memoir, she was able to finally put aside the demons that have been haunting her. All in all, I’m really glad she wrote this. The catharsis she experiences seeps through her writing, and you can feel that the truth is truly, and finally, setting her free.

2016 EUROPE EARLYBIRD SALE + BE IN TO WIN A TRIP TO EUROPE! ENTER AT FACEBOOK.COM/ STATRAVEL.NZ

STA TRAVEL WELLINGTON CUBA ST | COURTENAY PLACE | WILLIS ST 0508 STA TRAVEL WWW.STATRAVEL.COM

042

TRAVEL RACHEL NEEDHAM

FIJI: TEN DAYS IN PARADISE We’ve all heard of the basic girl trip to Fiji: staying at the Hilton, henna, cornrows and a lot of tanning. Okay, so I did get a tan, henna and a few corn rows, but that’s beside the point. My trip to Nadi began with a 4am start and a rather odd landing. I was shocked at the actual size of Viti Levu, the greater and more popular of the two main islands of Fiji. Having only been on one tropical holiday to Rarotonga, I was expecting a tiny cluster of islands with a few sheds. Wrong. Fiji is a vast and mountainous land, filled with crops, stock, and tourists. The culture shock hit me when driving from the airport into what you could call the “real Fiji”, en route to our ‘resort’. I use the word ’resort’ loosely as this is how it was described to us, pre-arrival. It was really nothing more than an up-market backpackers. We soon learned that the area we had chosen to stay in, Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi, was the backpacking area, but being a student, this suited me perfectly.

Accommodation aside, I spent my days in Fiji basking in the sun.

Needless to say the incessant snapchatting and ‘gramming had begun. I recommend staying in Wailoaloa if you are looking for an adventure, as this location allowed us to mingle with some talented and down-to-earth locals. Meeting two ‘surfie’ dudes worked wonders as they introduced us to the owner of Fiji Surf School (not to be confused with Fiji Surf Co). As I am notorious at not planning ahead, (partly because it excites me, partly due to laziness) this suited me perfectly, as one of my thoughts, pre Fiji, was surfing. Long story short, we ended up completing two incredible days surfing at two perfectly untouched spots. After a few meltdowns and some salty tears of frustration, I am pleased to state that I stood up on numerous teeny waves. The surf schoolers were too kind for words, offering to take us along to one of the most sought-after surf spots in the world – Cloud Break. I learnt that Cloud Break has only recently been

made available for public and local surfing; it was previously exclusive to guests of the Tavarua Island resort - how ridiculous is that?! Due to our amateur surfing skills, our trip to Cloud Break was just for sight-seeing and surfer watching; we lay on the boat soaking up the sun and even got a few dips in the sea. I never left the edge of the boat around Cloud Break, but when we docked at a smaller and shallower reef, Swimming Pools, I was right in there with my waterproof GoPro and new found confidence. It did help having a halo of boats surrounding me, as well as begging the boys on the boat to keep an eye out for sharks.

So, that’s enough about my ridiculous sea escapades, let’s talk more about Fiji as a holiday destination. During my 10-day stay, I found the locals’ and tourists’ lives to be very segregated. Vast amounts of wealth and poverty were obvious through only a short drive from Denarau Island to the main city centre of Nadi. Although I didn’t stay in Denarau, I spent time there and found it to be three things: clean, overpriced and highly Americanised. I understand that plenty of people want a relaxing, do nothing, go nowhere holiday, but I was searching for more. I was lucky enough to walk around Nadi town, experience the haggling at the local markets, be turned away from the Sri Siva Subramaniya Hindu Temple for wearing shorts, and be served kava - a traditional drink made from ground Kava plant roots, used in ceremonies and for welcoming outsiders. Two of my days were spent travelling down the Coral Coast, past Sigatoka to Korolevu town, home to an eclectic wee resort, aptly named The Beach House. All in all I found my trip to Nadi, Fiji to be exhilarating; there was never a dull moment! A few pointers for you to take away if you find yourself in Fiji: always shop duty-free – a non-duty free 1L bottle of vodka was $140 FJD ($100NZD) and always barter with the taxi drivers, as they love to charge passengers around five times the actual price, so ask them to stick the meter on. If you’re feeling inspired or just want to see what other crazy stuff I got up to abroad, feel free to check my Instagram worthy moments @rachelrara_.

043

FOOD BLOG SASHA BORISSENKO

LET THEM EAT LAMINGTONS INGREDIENTS 1 & 3/4 C flour 1 C brown sugar 2 tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp salt 1 C milk 2 eggs 1 C Coca-Cola 1 C oil (vegetable) 1 C cocoa 1 block of orange chocolate, grated.

In a bowl, add all of the dry ingredients together. Thereafter add your wet ingredients. Biff into a greased cake/casserole dish and heat in a 180 degrees Celsius oven for about 45 minutes. If you are a gluttonous lovely, like me, might I suggest you under-cook the concoction? Melted chocolate - oh yes!

LAVA CAKE INGREDIENTS Pre-made-and-purchased-from-the-supermarket sponge cake. Yeah, cut those corners.

5 T of raspberry powdered jelly. Not raro. Unless you’re into diabetes, don’t do it.

50g melted butter 3-4 C icing sugar Boiling water Shredded coconut.

Cut the sponge cake into lamington-shaped squares. Mix the butter, icing sugar, jelly and boiling water together. I’d leave to set for a bit if you want a generous layer of the raspberry deliciousness. Dip the sponge squares into the raspberry bonanza. Let it swim if need be. Sprinkle or dip into a bowl of coconut. Serve with giant dollops of cream and raspberries, along with any variety of vintage plate – cute.

044

UNI MUM I am your surrogate Uni Mum (“I’m not a regular mum, I’m a cool mum”) here to offer sound advice (and virtual hugs) about anything to do with university life.

From the flatmate who steals your clothes, to the test you will cheat on, to your cunning plans to bang that babe down the hallway, and everything in between.

If you have an issue you would like me to cover, just flick me an email (editor@massivemagazine.org.nz) and I will be sure to write about it next month.

How the hell did we get here? Where has the first half of the semester gone? Did I really just have a break?

The stresses of university can be heart-wrenching, freak-out worthy and sometimes even hive-inducing. It seems that not even the most organised of us are safe. The grips of stress can affect us all, and usually strike when you least expect, or need them to.

This month’s column comes from a deep, dark place in my mind; a place where I am trying to come to terms with an 84% stress rate result on a “How Stressed Are You” Facebook quiz. Easily bullshit and lacking scientific relevance (how can someone be a percentage of stress anyway?) but nevertheless it got me thinking that there is some truth behind this result. And it is showing in my day to day life; I am so stressed that my shower drain has more hair on it than my head does. Ahead of my birthday tomorrow I seem to be furiously ticking things off my to-do list, including a 300-level assignment, and this column, that is due on the same day. The likelihood of an all-nighter is high, so too is the dream of having a completely work-free day on my birthday – my one and only true wish diminishing.

Some might say that it’s the painful reality of being an adult, but since when were we supposed to be highly-strung 84% balls of crippling stress in our golden years? More importantly, will I be able to attend my own birthday party this weekend without the guilt attached? I highly doubt it, and with each thought like this, I can feel an extra 1% of stress being added onto my already bleak existence. But it will get easier, right? Apparently not, according to my friends and family in the workforce - here’s to a life of juggling duties!

But how can we combat stress? I know I feel less wound up when I’m prepared, up-to-date and on top of all my duties. Daily planners or to-do lists help; scraping a neat little line through something on my

list always makes me breathe a little easier. But sometimes writing these things down can only further cement the size of the mountain you are about climb, or the depth of the cliff you are about to scale, particularly when you are on a tight timeframe (see: every single assignment I have ever done I have done last minute). So, I have decided to create a neat little to-do list on how to combat stress, because writing lists is just my thing, y’all.

Be prepared: Do your readings weekly, stay up to date with lectures and know your assignment before you begin. Hey, even write it a few weeks before and get the learning centre to have a look at it for you.

Put technology down: Sometimes the best way to combat stress is to allow your over-stimulated brain and stinging eyes a little rest. Staring at a computer screen, reading articles, stalking on social media and feeling shit about yourself by looking at fitspo on Instagram, are just going to add to the whirlwind inside your head. Go for a wander, rest on the couch, pet the neighbour’s cat- just neglect technology for a bit.

Eat right: A balanced diet can help reduce your levels of stress, which is ironic considering stress usually leads to a sugar and carbs binge for me. Give green tea a go, or take a multi-vitamin. Remember to eat regularly and well. Food should also act as a break, so step away from your desk when you eat.

Exercise: I suppose this one requires a bit of time if you aren’t already active, and time is something that we all appear to be very short of. But there’s always time to walk the dog around the block, or take part in a scheduled yoga class. You could even give No Lights, No Lycra a go (you and a bunch of strangers dance in a super dark room, check them out on Facebook).

And that’s literally all I have time for this month. Good luck out there, stress-balls!

045

046

REP CHIC

LEAVE BROWNEYE ALONE Poor old Gerry Brownlee, ay? Forget those catty comments from the Finns and the media in general over his larger-than-life personality, Christchurch hipster coffee house, C1, has taken it one step further this month with the introduction of their menu-come-zine.

Beyond the promises of feijoa granola and a plethora of fruity teas you can find cut-out drawings of a scantily clad Brownlee, dirty gruts and all.

How clever is artist Emilia Gribbon, with her rendition of the many faces of Brownlee? Cue pilot-Gerry with the quote, “I just wasn’t thinking...I like queuing now,” - in reference to his apology over breaching security in order to skip a queue at Christchurch airport in July 2014. Then there’s spacesuit-Gerry, where the quote “I am pretty happy with the way things are going,” is used in relation to his position on the Christchurch rebuild, July 2011. But then there are our personal favourites, the bathrobe-andtowel-turban-Gerry “There is simply no evidence of a housing crisis in Christchurch,” Feb 2013, or better yet, princess-Gerry who ends with “[It was only people who had time to] buggarise around on Facebook all day”, on an anti-CERA campaign, September 2012.

“When you take the two together, it starts to look like bullying.

“The near-nude aspect is taking it one step too far. Would it be funny to depict him in his underwear with ridiculous outfits if he was slim?

“Like one of my colleagues pointed out, if C1 had done the same thing to a female politician, amusement would be supplanted by outrage.

“People might call the drawing sexist and demeaning. They might say depicting a woman in her undies objectifies her.

“So why, then, is it humorous when it is a man?”

“C1 Espresso owner Sam Crofskey said the menu was satirical. Each outfit goes together with a famous inflammatory statement the minister made over the past few years.

“No doubt the idea was born in the frustration and discontent over the way the recovery has been run.

“I am not sure it achieves anything apart from reviving old wounds and reinforcing the divide Cantabrians feel with the Government.”

#Meowmeowmeow okay, okay we’ll be nice and stop bullying that lil’ pug face of his. Albeit we’re a little surprised that his characature-esque features weren’t used in the many hilarious flag design proposals. We’re being greedy, we know. Laser beams would be too good to be true!

While we’re all *slow clap*, commentators weren’t so supportive of the hipster jibes coming from the Christchurch establishment, which was officially opened by Brownlee himself in November 2012. Fairfax’s Cecile Meier said: “When I first saw C1 Espresso’s latest menu featuring Gerry Brownlee in his underwear as a ‘dress up’ paper doll, I chuckled.

It was a bit of fun and light relief for tired Cantabs, and Brownlee is a thick-skinned politician – he’s fair game.

“At the same time, I couldn’t shake a feeling of discomfort.

“It’s the second time Brownlee has been on the menu at C1 – last time he was depicted as a five-eyed monster for more than a year.

047

EXPRESSIVE ARTS

A PREMONITION ELLIOT GONZALES

Look me in the eye and tell me that we swam in the same ocean Turning your back to me believing in a falsely quantified notion Seven voices craft a misdirected orchestra Heard by dynasties in shackles when you know its gone Look me in the eye and let you see right through me A life less lonely without two; Constellations mapped completely Watching these celestial conversations set me free Take care, goodbye Yours truly

ONE NIGHT STEVIE GREEKS My body.

A smorgasbord for the silent mosquito that slides through the darkness. Our skin glistens under the rays of the nights sun.

I’m naked.

Frustrated by the heat. This midsummers night is clammy with anticipation. Does my nudity bore you?

I stretch.

I lengthen my being, pointed toes and hunched shoulders. My mind stretches toward you, wishing you could reach me.

Your direction.

I turn toward the ceiling and you twist away from me. Like roots burrowing into the earth we are set in our ways.

You on me.

If you could read my mind you would touch me. Why can’t you see I want your fingerprints on my thighs?

Eyes closed.

I throw my thoughts from my mind and hope the darkness will hold onto them until I sleep. They creep back, encroaching and crowding my consciousness.

Sweet dreams.

I dream of you, do you dream of me too?

048

PUZZLE TIME THERE WAS A GREEN HOUSE. INSIDE THE GREEN HOUSE THERE WAS A WHITE HOUSE. INSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE THERE WAS A RED HOUSE. INSIDE THE RED HOUSE THERE WERE LOTS OF BABIES. WHAT IS IT?

PAUL’S HEIGHT IS SIX FOOT, HE’S AN ASSISTANT AT A BUTCHER’S SHOP, AND WEARS SIZE 9 SHOES. WHAT DOES HE WEIGH?

WHAT CAN TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD WHILE STAYING IN A CORNER?

PETER HAS LOST HIS PINGA. HELP HIM FIND IT BEFORE HIS FLAT GOES TO TOWN.

+

PINGAZ

WATERMELON, MEAT AND A STAMP

049

CONTACT US CONTRIBUTORS DISCLAIMER

EDITOR Kim Parkinson (04) 801 5799 ext. 63765 editor@massivemagazine.org.nz DESIGN AND LAYOUT Tom Pringle, Tom_Pringle@icloud.com, Instagram: mywastedsundays

THE MAN BEHIND THE COVER My name is Kauri Hawkins and I am a student at Massey University Wellington, studying a Bachelor of Fine Arts. My work is mainly focused around identity and finding who you are. For me, creating is just one way of finding myself, being of Māori, Cook Island Māori, and Pakeha descent I tend to find my art taking a significant contemporary Māori approach.

ADVERTISING, MARKETING, AND MAWSA ASSOCIATION MANAGER James Collings (04) 801 5799 ext. 63763 manager@mawsa.org.nz

Read online issuu.com/massivemagazine

CAMPUS REPORTERS

ISSN 2253-5918 (Print) ISSN 2253-5926 (Online)

Auckland Julia Braybrook: juliabraybrook@gmail.com

DOWNLOAD THE APP You can download our free app by searching ‘Massive Magazine’on Google Playstore, or the App Store.

Manawatu Carwyn Walsh: carwynwalsh@gmail.com Wellington Kim Parkinson: editor@massivemagazine.org.nz CONTRIBUTORS Julia Braybrook, Carwyn Walsh, James Greenland, Sasha Borissenko, Paul Berrington, Rachel Purdie, Rachel Needham, Taryn Dryfhout, Elliot Gonzales, Stevie Greeks, Uni Mum, Rep Chic, Guru.

IMAGE CREDITS Front and back cover Kauri Hawkins, kaurihawkins95@gmail.com Editorial Anton Burian, anton@0800phantom.co.nz, Cheating feature Pip Alfeld, phillipaalfeld@gmail.com Photo feature Chev Hassett, www. chevhassett.com Internships feature Claire Esterman, c-esterman.tumblr. com Rugby feature Kallum Best, kallum.p.best@gmail.com Uni Mum, Te Hana Goodyer, www.hanateh.com Ask Guru, Brad Smit, brdsmt. tumblr.com, email bradley.smit@live.com Expressive Arts Tom Pringle, Instagram: mywastedsundays

Publisher massivemagazine.org.nz

This publication uses vegetable based inks and environmentally responsible papers. The document is printed throughout on SUMO Laser, which is FSC® certified and from responsible forests, manufactured under ISO14001 Environmental Management Systems. MASSIVE magazine is committed to reducing its environmental footprint.

DISCLAIMER The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages of MASSIVE Magazine do not necessarily represent those of Massey University, its staff, Albany Students’ Association (ASA), Massey University Students’ Association (MUSA), Massey at Wellington Students ‘Association (MAWSA), Extramural Students’ Society, or the MASSIVE editor.

FEEDBACK We really appreciate your feedback, as it helps us become a stronger publication. If you’d like to provide us with constructive criticism, but don’t want your feedback published, please have a chat with the friendly staff at your local students’ association. They will be more than happy to pass on your feedback to the appropriate people.

PLEASE RECYCLE MASSIVEMAGAZINE.ORG.NZ