Massive Magazine Manawatu Issue 11 2017

Issue 11

2017

Manawatū

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ASSORTED • Massive talks to Massey’s Vice Chancellor •

•An interview with Pete Bethune • An iron fist in a velvet glove: Karanga Mai•

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PRESS COUNCIL Massive Magazine is registered under the New Zealand Press Council which allows you as our reader to reach out to an independent forum for resolving complaints you may have.

DISCLAIMER The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages of Massive Magazine do not necessarily represent those of Massey University, its staff, Albany Students’ Association (ASA), Massey University Students’ Association (MUSA), Massey at Wellington Students’ Association (MAWSA), Extramural Students’ Society, or the Massive editor. MAWSA is an independent organisation that publishes Massive. Send any queries or complaints directly to Massive at editor@massivemagazine.org.nz.

Massive is subject to the New Zealand Press Council. If a complainant is not satisfied with the response from Massive, the complaint may be referred to the Press Council: info@presscouncil.org.nz or online via presscouncil.org.nz

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Features

News

26 Nude Feud

08 Local News

28 Are the humanities coming to an end?

09 World and National News

32 What’s wrong with Wongamatar?

Regulars

Opinion 17 A Pinch of Politics 20 An iron fist in a velvet glove: Karanga Mai 34 The Yarns from Pitch Five 35 Mum’s the Word

06 Editorial 16 Giveaways 40 Culture with Paul Berrington 42 Booked In / Bitchin’ Kitchen

Interviews 10 Massive sits down with Massey’s VC 19 Interview: Pete Bethune

Humour 30 Modern Miss Lonelyhearts 36 The Dilemma Doctor

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Editorial Hi everyone, This is it, the second to last edition of Massive for 2017. Time has flown by!

In this edition you will find five pages dedicated to Massive’s interview with Massey University’s Vice Chancellor, Jan Thomas.

The interview was conducted by Massive’s very own Manawatū reporter Adam Pearse and lasted more then two hours. By then end of the meeting with the VC, Thomas excused herself from finishing the interview.

A full transcription of this interview can be found on the Massive Magazine website. Adam put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this feature and I am sure you will enjoy catching up on some of the “behind the scenes” goss here at Massey.

We went to print the week before the results of the 2017 General Election were announced, so by the time you are reading this, a (maybe new) Prime Minister would have been announced. We got lots of wonderful feedback in regards to our previous politics issue, and it was great to see a whole heap of students getting their votes in early at polling booths on campus, and exercising their right to vote.

While the General Elections may be over, for those of you on Massey’s Wellington and Manawatū campuses, this week you will be able to vote for something else very important - your 2018 student executive.

By the next issue, we will have announced the winning candidates and will be able to reveal who will take over presidency on both campuses next year. Meanwhile in Albany after a tumultuous year, Jason Woodroofe has been announced as next year’s president. Unfortunately for those in Albany we have no word from current president Lance Walsh, who sadly did not respond to requests for a President’s Address in this month’s issue.

As always you will find your favourites A Pinch of Politics, Modern Miss Lonelyhearts and Dilemma Doctor in this edition, alongside giveaways, reviews and features.

Enjoy, Nikki

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President’s Address Nikita Skipper president@musa.org.nz Holy hecka, what a year it’s been so far.

With study, your social life, working, trying to figure how to run the new Massey programme and voting … shit I’m surprised you even have time to read this yarn from me.

So, I’ll try make her a good one. As some of you may know I am retiring from my student president duties at the end of this year, and it’s up to you folk to vote in who you deem best represent you, the student body, very much like what you have or are doing for the national elections your voice counts and is so valid so please do use it in this upcoming MUSA election.

Recently I heard one of my lectures talking about ignorance, and how it affects our culture and community and I think there is real need to discuss it now. I think as future leaders, teachers, politicians, business people, ag consultants, nurses , vets (the list goes on) need to be able to find out a problem and deal with it. But with ignorance, we ignore and feed into a bigger problem. I think with where the world is heading now we need to be able to access and understand the wider problems that are happening and challenge our thinking on what we think is correct or not. I’m not saying you single handily have to change the climate or end a war but instead arm yourself with correct information then fire if needed with your voice.

Sorry to chuck you in the deep end but you are responsible for your own ignorance now that I’ve made you aware of it.

I know that was dark and bleak and not something I’d usually write but I just want to make sure each and every one of you stars use your voice in a wise way and not just wait to speak but have valid and correct ideas to back up your words because y’all are a force to be reckoned with.

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N OMIN AT E 21 –25.08.17 C AM PA IGN 18 –22.09.17 VOT E 2 5 –2 8.09.17

M U SA .O RG.N Z / EL EC T I O N S

T HE M USA ELE C T I O N I S YO UR E LEC T I O N

Local News | 7

Scotty and Stacey Morrison.

Doc Ferris following his powhiri. ¯

Well known broadcasters take on Massey roles

¯ Massey welcomes Maori Advisor

Māori broadcasters, Scotty and Stacey Morrison joined Massey University’s Te Pūtahi-a-Toi at the beginning of September.

Te Pūtahi-a-Toi is Massey University’s School of Māori Art, Knowledge and Education on the Manawatū campus.

Both Scotty and Stacey are prominent television and radio presenters who have forged impressive careers in the media spanning more than two decades.

They have also been closely involved in a number of significant Te Reo Māori revitalisation initiatives and promoting the growth and capacity of Te Reo Māori speakers.

Head of Te Pūtahi-a-Toi, Professor Meihana Durie, says their dual appointment signals the commencement of a new phase of advancement for the school.

“Scotty and Stacey are champions of Te Reo Māori communities and bring with them a formidable depth of experience in broadcasting and immense expertise as a result of working across te ao Māori (the Māori world) in many capacities.

“Their combined talents will support Te Pūtahi-a-Toi to make a meaningful contribution that is fully responsive to the dynamic and evolving needs of our communities.”

With Te Pūtahi-a-Toi now preparing to deliver more programmes at Albany, Durie says their appointments are timely.

“With over a quarter of the total Māori population now living in the wider Auckland region, it is critical that Te Pūtahi-a-Toi can help bring to fruition the academic aspirations of our whānau.

“They both carry consistently high expectations for the place of Te Reo Māori across Aotearoa and we know that this determination will resonate not only with our students, but across all communities who seek to embrace the acquisition of Te Reo and tikanga Māori.”

Doc Ferris, was welcomed with a pōwhiri at Te Pūtahia-Toi on Massey’s Manawatū campus on Monday, September 11.

In his new role as Senior Māori Advisor, Ferris will work from the office of the Assistant Vice Chancellor Māori and Pasifika. He says he is looking forward to his new role.

“I hope we can really draw to the fore Māoritanga and how Māoritanga can benefit places like Massey by opening up more,” Ferris says.

“Our people struggle to get into places like Massey and other educational institutes all around the country and I’m really looking forward to doing the work that makes it more accessible, more inviting, more comfortable and enables Māori development to accelerate.”

Ferris has a Master of Mātauranga Māori and Bachelor of Māori Art from Te Wānanga o Raukawa where he also lectured for 10 years before moving to his previous role at the Nelson Marlborough Institute of Technology.

He says Massey’s strategy to become a Tiriti led organisation was a great incentive to make the move north again and he’s looking forward to being involved in what he calls an awesome opportunity.

“In my experience with organisations, everyone understands there is an obligation under the Tiriti o Waitangi, and no one has a clue of what that should look like. So here’s an opportunity to really lead that conversation.”

Mr Ferris says building a strong tūāpapa or foundation is key, so people understand why things happen in a certain way.

“As long as you have a tūāpapa that you all know and understand as you go forward addressing new situations, you’ll be able to produce the answers.”

8 | Local News

Massey international students being welcomed into campus community

By Hope Burmeister Auckland University finds itself in hot water from a student club.

Disaffiliation of prolife group a cause for concern for some

By Fiona Curtis Last month, the Auckland University Students Association (AUSA) chose to disaffiliate from a Pro-Life Auckland club on campus, causing concern as to whether freedom of speech was being silenced on university campuses.

This followed a referendum, which was held over three days. The referendum asked Auckland University students whether they believed AUSA should disaffiliate from the Pro-Life Club and ban any clubs with similar ideology from affiliating in the future.

The poll received 2674 votes, with a 59.8 per cent majority in favour of the motion.

The disaffiliation of the Pro-Life Club has now reignited the debate on whether university campuses should encourage freedom of expression, or shield students from ideas they may not agree with.

Jenna Middleton, co-president of Pro-Life Auckland, says it is worrying that AUSA would try and silence the group.

“What makes this even more frightening is that it is happening at one of this country’s largest universities – which should be a place where diversity of thought is not only tolerated, but also actively fostered and protected.”

In a comment on AUSA’s Facebook page, Pro-Life advocate Brendan Malone says ethical issues should have nothing to do with student associations.

“Surely the AUSA is not actually meant to be taking sides on ethical issues that have nothing to do with the work of the AUSA?” Massey’s Manawatū campus has a ProLife club. In a statement to Massive Magazine the club says it is important student association’s remain unbiased.

“Claiming that a pro-life group made up of students doesn’t represent students is inaccurate; a student union is meant to be unbiased in representing all its student groups.

“Disaffiliation is a symbol that opposing views are unwelcome.”

In a statement AUSA says it has not and will not express an opinion regarding the subject.

International students on Massey’s Manawatū campus are being encouraged to immerse themselves in campus culture.

University statistics from 2016 show that more than half of the student population at Massey University is New Zealand European, and only a quarter of Massey students are from overseas.

This means international students from nonEnglish speaking countries can often find it hard to adjust to Massey’s predominantly English-speaking environment.

A Chinese international student at the Manawatū campus, Zhirui Wang, said that the language barrier can make it difficult to connect with kiwi students.

“I can’t understand [them] so it makes me feel it’s hard to interact or be a member of this group,” Wang says.

The university has a support system for international students that helps integrate them into the student community.

The main support on the Manawatū campus is the International Student Support centre (ISS).

ISS team leader, Sylvia Hooker says its role is to help students maintain their wellbeing, both in their studies, their health and in their interactions with others.

“We’re always looking at ways to develop the campus culture and trying to get the international students to develop their own culture,” she says.

Hooke says although there is always room for improvement to help international students, the ISS staff are always researching New Zealand and international cultures to gain a better understanding.

One of the ways the ISS enforces this is by promoting an event hosted by the Marton Rotary Club. It is where a small number of international students each stay overnight with a New Zealand family.

ISS staff member, Dianne Riley, who helped organise the event, says the family will often ask the student all about what their home country is like. “[The family has] a friendly, personal sort of interest [in them],” she says.

National News | 9

By Nikki Papatsoumas

Massey University was among the thousands of kiwis to celebrate and embrace New Zealand’s indigenous language as part of Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori.

Māori Language Week, which was founded in 1975, ran from September 11 to 17 this year.

Massey University actively celebrated Te Reo during the week long celebrations, with activities designed to engage and empower staff, students, and communities to think and act multi-culturally, and embrace New Zealand’s national language.

Earlier this month Māori Development Minister Te Ururoa Flavell announced the theme for Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori this year is Kia ora Te Reo Māori “I would love all New Zealanders to use that as an inspiration to include more Te Reo Māori in their own lives.

“Use Māori Language Week to make a change in your life that lasts well beyond the week,” Flavell says.

The Minister says Te Reo Māori becoming more of a living language throughout society was an aim of Te Ture mō Te Reo Māori (the Maori Language Act) 2016.

“Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori is a great reminder of this aim to speak and support our language so that it may be heard everywhere and all the time.”

“Whatever one’s fluency, the important thing is our willingness to support and breathe life into our indigenous language.”

Say the name of your school in Te Reo: Massey Business School: Te Kura Whai Pākihi College of Creative Arts: Toi Rauwhārangi College of Health: Te Kura Hauora Tangata

Pocket’s Picks: From around the Globe

College of Humanities and Social Sciences: Te Kura Pūkenga Tangata College of Science: Te Wāhanga Pūtaiao

It breaks records The movie It has smashed world records and now holds the title of having the largest ever opening for a horror movie. The film has also broken the record for being the largest September opening of all time. The film more than doubled the earnings of the previous record holder Paranormal Activity 3.

Royal Announcement Prince William and Kate Middleton will add to their brood. A statement from Kensington Palace confirmed the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were expecting their third child. According to the statement, the duchess is once again suffering from acute morning sickness, or Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which she experienced while pregnant with both Prince George and Princess Charlotte.

Let’s get Quizzical 1. How many vowels are there in the Alphabet?

2. What is the sum of 18+52+40?

3. Which country was The Great Pyramid of Giza built in?

4. Which girl band sings Love Me Like You and Black Magic?

5. Is an animal with a backbone known as a vertebrate or invertebrate?

6. If you turn a knob anti-clockwise, would you turn it to the left or right?

7. Which superhero has an assistant called Robin?

8. How many colours are mentioned in The Rainbow Song?

9. How many points does a snowflake have?

10. What is the name of the largest desert in Asia?

1. Five 2. 110 3. Egypt 4. Little Mix 5. Vertebrate 6. Left 7. Batman 8. Seven colours 9. Six 10. The Gobi Desert

Massey students among those to celebrate Māori language week

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twee tweet

Tweet of the Week

10 | Feature

Massive sits down with Massey’s VC

An interview with the Vice Chancellor is always a special occasion. In front of you is the authority on million-dollar decisions and you have to be the one to ask her the hard questions. Jan Thomas may not have been around long (she joined Massey University as VC earlier this year) but she certainly knows what she’s doing. Thomas proved no easy task to interview, however, Massive Magazine’s Adam Pearse and Nikki Papatsoumas put on their best garb and had their dictaphones at the ready for what was a conversation that was both surprising and enlightening. What lies below is the topics Massive covered with the fresh-faced VC in what was an arduous journey for all parties involved. All are matters of strong relevance to the university and we hope we did them justice.

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Budget woes may cause job losses: Vice Chancellor Massey University Vice Chancellor Jan Thomas says she is not ruling out job cuts in the future as the university looks to improve its poor financial position.

“I can’t and won’t rule out job cuts at Massey because it is normal to evolve organisations,” she says.

Part of the reason, Thomas says, is that certain sections of the university, such as the College of Sciences, have been living beyond their means and will need to make immediate savings.

“The College of Sciences has been undergoing a significant review around its financial sustainability. It’s living beyond its means.”

“There are at times and I have over many years gone through phases where we shed staff and I don’t apologise for that because actually I’m spending your tax and I need to make sure it’s spent as wisely as I can.”

“Making sure that it’s on a financially stable platform is going to be really important to maintain the quality of product we’ve got going forward. They will certainly need to save money going forward. Possibly [millions].”

Thomas says she is aware she has a responsibility to the students paying for an education that every staff member deserves to be there.

Thomas aims to have Massey operating at a 1.8 per cent surplus by end of the year and by 2018, reaching the target of a 3 per cent operating surplus.

“I’m really conscious of the fact that you’ve given me some money to spend and I want to make sure it’s spent as wisely as possible and that requires people to be the very best they can be, to be the right fit for the organisation.”

She declares that millions of dollars will need to be saved but does not believe it is unreasonable for an organisation of this size to do so.

Massey’s budget woes stem from the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC) requirement that universities must operate at a 3 per cent operating surplus. As of 2016, Massey is operating at a 1.4 per cent surplus.

“Millions of dollars that are not spent on the organisation will go into the surplus which will then be spent on the organisation in different strategic ways,” she says.

“It’s not unreasonable for an organisation of this size to have a three per cent operating surplus.

Thomas admits that hitting that threshold has been an issue for Massey for many years and it needs to change.

“I’ve been used to running organisations a bit smaller with a much bigger operating surplus, it is doable.”

“We are not achieving our TEC operating surplus targets, we haven’t for several years but we have readjusted this year’s budget to have a half-way step towards achieving the TEC targets and we plan to set the 2018 budget to hit the TEC targets.”

VC admits “under-performance” problem at Massey Speaking of budget cuts and job losses, Thomas has acknowledged a significant issue of “chronic under-performance”

within Massey’s academic staff and vows to stamp it out.

Thomas indicates that in the past, Massey has had issues with under-performing staff but says this trend will not continue on her watch, signalling that those who aren’t performing could lose their jobs.

“In other institutions, there may be greater tolerance for people who chronically under-perform over years and there may be greater tolerance for people who behave badly but where I’m Vice Chancellor there isn’t a tolerance for that.”

“What I don’t want and what I have no tolerance for is under-performance and I have no tolerance for bad workplace behaviours, none whatsoever, it has no place at Massey.”

For Thomas, this extends across the entirety of the university as she wants to make sure that every salary paid for is one that returns excellence.

“I want to make sure that every single salary I spend money on is delivering a good outcome for the university and that might be a fabulous gardener doing a great job or it might be a distinguished professor doing outstanding research, don’t really care where it falls I want to reward excellence and make sure we have no tolerance for chronic under-performance.”

Thomas admits that those who are proven to under-perform will be cut loose from the university in an attempt to raise productivity and ratify excellence.

“There will be staff who have been chronic under-performers who we will lose from the university because I want to be able to spend the dollars I have as wisely as I can.”

12 | Interview

A Massey staff member that wishes to remain anonymous echoes Vice Chancellors Jan Thomas’ claim.

The staff member says there are under performers at Massey that need to go and identifies those that disregard their teaching and research duties as the culprits.

“In the university, we’ve got quite a large cohort of professors that do no teaching.

“The core business of a university is teaching undergraduates. We’ve got people in research-privileged positions that are not doing that much research.”

This staff member says research intensity across the university is not even and the VC has a clear message for those that aren’t pulling their weight.

“The culture of research is not even across Massey by any means.

“If you don’t have a passion for research and your position is a standard academic appointment with nominally 30 per cent time allocation to research, you shouldn’t be in the university; go find a polytech.”

“...I want to reward excellence and make sure we have no tolerance for chronic underperformance.”

Students slam ‘big Massey’ Students have spoke of frustration with Massey’s senior administration, and these feelings of ire were put to Thomas during her interview with Massive Magazine.

Massey Students have criticised the university’s administration, dubbed ‘Big Massey’, saying those in Massey’s highest positions don’t care about students.

Sustainability Club President Tonicha Alves says she feels the people that run Massey only care about business.

Alves says she has experienced a clear difference in how students are dealt with by people that are based on campus, compared to those that manage from afar.

“I’ve found that if you want something from Massey, just walk in and do it because you can email people and they don’t want to do anything, they’ll ignore you,” she says.

“Not even as a club, just as a student, there is no way to get your point heard unless you go straight to the person on the ground.”

She says students don’t know who truly runs our university which to her, is a great cause of confusion and stress.

“When we say Massey, we don’t actually know who we are talking about. I have no idea who these people are because they don’t connect with us, they don’t email us back, you never see their faces on campus, you don’t know who these people are and it’s just so confusing.”

Massey University Students’ Association President, Nikita Skipper, says she agrees with Alves.

Skipper says there is a very clear disconnect

within Massey management and she experiences this in her role as president.

“When I think of Massey, I think of three to four different layers. The disconnect through that, when it comes to the basic level stuff of just trying to get in touch with heads of schools, even in my role, it’s very brushed under the carpet.”

Skipper says the soul of Massey is its students and she is disappointed management officials needed to remind themselves of this sometimes.

“There is no university without the students and I think Massey needs to remind themselves that and be very aware of it.”

In response, Thomas says she has regular meetings with student representatives and this issue has not been raised with her.

“I meet regularly with the student reps across the campuses and they can raise any issue they like with me in that environment,” she says.

“I have not heard that concern before and she has not raised it with me to the best of my recollection.”

In an earlier interview with Massive Magazine Thomas says she doesn’t measure success in her role by the number of people who recognise her as Vice Chancellor.

“I expect that I will have a public profile and people will recognise me, in fact they are now even away from campus, people will recognise me.

“But it’s not how I would measure success.

How I would measure success is in the outcomes for the university and how Massey is viewed by its students, its graduates, by employers, by research

Feature | 13

partners and so on. That matters to me.”

“Toxic” bullying rife in Massey staff, survey says Thomas says she is disappointed with shocking results of a recent survey outlining some staff discontent.

Results from the 2015 VOICE Survey, conducted by Massey University on its staff, revealed some alarming trends of bullying within the university.

Out of 2119 respondents, the majority felt bullying was not being prevented at Massey while the majority of female respondents felt Massey did not resolve complaints of bullying, sexual harassment, and discrimination.

The survey also found that just 48 per cent of female respondents were confident that Massey resolves complaints about inappropriate behaviour, including bullying, sexual and other forms of harassment, and discrimination.

As well as this, only 44 per cent of female respondents felt there was equal opportunity for all staff at Massey.

Thomas, is disheartened by the results and knows work needs to be done in order to improve.

“I’m disappointed in it. I think we’ve got a long way to go before I’m satisfied with it.

This is something I don’t underestimate the level of involvement but I do intend to work very hard to lift these results. I’ve never shied away from this, never will.”

Thomas says that bullying at Massey has often taken place in the form of verbally attacking people instead of critically analysing ideas and plans. She feels this has become the norm and it has to change.

“Swearing at each other and attacking the person not the idea or the concept or the plan or whatever it might be. I can tell you it’s happened quite a lot in the feedback I’ve received and if they’re talking to me like that, imagine what they’re talking to other people like.”

“In some quarters, there’s been a normalisation of behaviours that I don’t find acceptable so we do have to work on that” One Massey staff member who wishes to remain anonymous says the amount of bullying that occurs in some parts of Massey has created a hostile environment for staff.

“There is unethical behaviour that occurs.

It’s a toxic situation.”

They recall in the past how issues were raised about bullying to senior management.

“I raised the issue that the culture of stopping bullying needs to be endemic throughout the whole university from the very top down.”

Laboratory session cuts enrage staff A lack of consultation over a proposal to reduce the number of laboratory sessions in 100-level Bachelor of Science papers left Massey science staff aggrieved.

Evolutionary Ecology Professor, Steve Trewick claims that prior to the initiatives announcement, academic staff were given no opportunity to discuss with management about the reduction which left many in a state of shock.

“There was no invitation for responses, it was a bold statement; ‘That’s what’s going to happen’.”

Documents obtained by Massive show that an email was sent to academic staff from College of Sciences Pro-Vice Chancellor, Raymond Geor on July 6, outlining the reasons for a reduction in laboratory times from 12 down to six sessions per semester.

The proposal was to be implemented in semester two of 2018.

Thomas says she has identified those who are exhibiting these negative behaviours and is making sure it won’t happen again.

Trewick says the stated reasons for the initiative, some of which were to decrease workload for students and ease timetabling pressure, did not justify hurried implementation.

“I’m working through a whole range of people who I know have been behaving badly in the workplace and are taking them to task on that. None of it is acceptable.”

He says other universities have employed similar measures and applauded Massey on its insistence on giving students more contact time.

Meanwhile, staff at Massey’s Manawatū campus also have concerns surrounding proposed cuts to session times and classrooms that lie empty with little explanation.

“Other universities have cut times back and they regret it,” he says.

“...their priorities lie elsewhere...”

“Academics in Auckland say it’s really disappointing and their impression was that the great thing about places like Massey is they still do all of that contact time.”

The proposal has since been postponed until 2019.

14 | Feature

Another email sent from Geor on August 2 says he had been advised it is not possible to achieve this “in an assured and equitable manner across all the courses”.

Thomas questions whether there was no consultation over the matter and notes that consultation takes on an interesting dimension in universities.

“Consultation is an interesting concept in universities, there can be opportunities for consultation which people don’t take up for example.”

She says that people can let their priorities and firm-held beliefs interfere with consultation which effects the communication process.

“People find that their priorities lie elsewhere and don’t engage in consultation until it’s too late, or the other option that also occurs is that sometimes you do consultation and people don’t agree with what is happening and they feel they haven’t been consulted if they don’t actually get what they wanted.”

‘Building X’ decommission leaves classrooms empty Massey’s decommission of a planned addition to the business studies complex has left many teaching spaces and offices empty and unable for use.

Massive understands that in expectation of the construction of an east wing to the business studies complex, business studies central teaching rooms 1.02, 2.04, 2.06, 3.04, and 3.05 along with offices 1.04, 1.06, 2.09, and 3.02 were cleared out and are no longer in use.

Vice-president of Massey branch of the

Tertiary Education Union, Harvey Jones, says that this east wing or ‘Building X’ was in the planning stage until the appointment of Thomas, who would eventually terminate plans due to budget restrictions but not before teaching spaces and offices were emptied.

becoming much more of an assembly line with this stuff.”

“They stripped the teaching rooms and all of that was done before the Vice Chancellor arrived or in the process of her arriving. When she found out about it, she pulled the idea of Building X, saying ‘No, we can’t afford that’. So, Building X is off the table.”

“I have put a stop to Building X at the moment, because we just don’t have the capital investment to put a new building on the Manawatū campus. We are over committed in terms of our capital spend at the university so there are a whole range of things that I have put under a spotlight.”

Jones says Massey is left in a bad position with these classrooms being unusable resources.

Thomas admits she is unaware of any effect this has had on staff or the availability of teaching spaces across the university.

“Now we’ve got the worst of both worlds, we’ve got empty teaching rooms and they can’t use them.”

“De-prioritising Building X was a decision I made, how all of those knock on affects around the different impacts on different areas is something that I would have other staff doing and I don’t know the detail of them.”

He says the wasted money used to clear out these spaces has been raised with Thomas in one of the Tertiary Education Union’s regularly scheduled meetings to understand why money was spent emptying rooms that are no longer usable.

“There was a lot of money wasted because we raised it with the Vice Chancellor saying; ‘Why did this happen?’, it’s the cost of emptying the rooms out and then there’s a non-availability of the rooms that have been locked up ever since.”

Associate Professor and occupant of the business studies complex, Paul Toulson says it will give staff a feeling of insecurity showing them that resources will stay useless if the university deems them financially unimportant.

“I wouldn’t say [staff feel] aggrieved but probably threatened. There is a feeling amongst a lot of teaching staff that we are

Vice Chancellor, Jan Thomas has confirmed to Massive she authorised the decommission of ‘Building X’ due to budget constraints.

“Now we’ve got the worst of both worlds, we’ve got empty teaching rooms and they can’t use them.”

16 | Opinion

Giveaways

Schwarzkopf and Remington Want to look your very best? We have something special for the lads to giveaway. Thanks to our friends at Schwarzkopf and Remington, we have a personal grooming pack to giveaway, made up of hair products and a personal grooming kit. To enter, send your name and contact number through to win@mawsa.org.nz

Cookietime giveaway Me want cookies… you want cookies?

We have a Cookie Time prize pack full of Cookie Time products valued at $70 to giveaway. To enter, send your name and contact phone number along with your favourite flavor cookie to win@ mawsa.org.nz.

Win a feast from Pita Pit

Nab a Student Card

Feeling hungry? Our friends from Pita Pit in Manawatū are offering the mother of all giveaways. To go into the draw to win a free platter of Pita Pit pitas (a maximum of 10 pitas) for you and your flatties, simply send your name, and contact phone number to win@mawsa.org.nz. NOTE: Competition only available to students from Massey’s Manawatū campus.

Grab a deal. We have two student cards to giveaway. Normally worth $20 these gems will score you discounted food, booze, clothes, travel and even makeup. If you want to get your hot little hands on one of these cards email your name and contact phone number through to win@mawsa.org.nz

ASB Auckland Marathon

We are giving away a free entry to the John West 12km Traverse! This is your chance to join in New Zealand’s biggest, most iconic, colourful, cultural running celebration, and the John West 12km Traverse is the quickest way across the bridge on two legs! To win, email your name and contact phone number to win@mawsa.org.nz. NOTE: Competition only available to students from Massey’s Albany campus.

Opinion | 17

A Pinch of Politics with Natasha Tziakis

At the time of going to print, the new Prime Minister of New Zealand had not yet been announced.

Hypocrisy is a common theme often seen in the political sphere and with Winston Peters, you can definitely say hypocrisy has followed him spontaneously throughout his political career.

Rewind to Meteria Turei and her fraud scandal earlier this year, Peters was one of the most vocal politicians, demanding she stand down from her position as leader of the Green Party. In the end, this is what Turei did and it has crippled parts of the Green Party campaign this election.

However, Peters found himself in hot water too, when it was revealed he had been receiving weekly superannuation payments that were much higher than he was entitled to. Often people yelling the loudest have the most to hide, and that seems to be true with Peters in this situation.

This raises a lot of questions about the transparency and agency politicians have in regards to their personal lives. Peters’ loyal supporters appear to be an older generation of people, or ‘grey power’, and they more often than not receive

superannuation. For Peters to have been targeting this demographic for so long, I wonder how did he not know the exact numbers of the superannuation payments.

In an interview with The AM Show, Peters claims that the over-payments occurred “with an IRD matter which was not picked up,” and, “that it wasn’t clear how the mistake was made”. Peters believed the IRD leaked this information to the media.

These events happened in July, but were only been leaked to the media in the past month.

There has since been an investigation into both the IRD and the Ministry of Social Development about their involvement with Peters’ superannuation leak. Both companies have completed these investigations and the results were that the people who had access to Peters information did not pass it onto any third parties, and the information was dealt with carefully and professionally. This is an important progression of this drama as Peters was waggling his finger at companies who were not the guilty parties.

If we are to assume that it was purely a clerical mistake and that Peters was not purposefully trying to get larger payments,

then how did he not notice the error over the course of the seven years ? Because of this, there are three questions I keep coming back to: Does Peters really not know what money is coming in and out of his bank account, is he not aware of the different superannuation payment schemes, or does he just not care?

This brings light to the idea of the transparency and agency that politicians possess. With Peters being so vocal about Turei, and then him committing what some could call similar behaviour himself, does this make him less trustworthy? Or does it mean there was just a mistake and he was not aware of it? Bouncing off this idea, if he was not aware, why wasn’t he?

The most interesting thing is that while you are reading this, we will know if Peters has entered into a coalition with the leading party or not. But more importantly, we will know if Peters is now the Deputy Prime Minister of New Zealand.

Winston Peters is a very smart man who has endured a lengthy political career. With these smarts, arrogance and mistakes can often be found and made, but this isn’t to say that Peters won’t rise up and be the ‘Kingmaker’ or ‘Queenmaker’ we know.

18 | Interview

Interview:

Pete Bethune

Captain Pete Bethune has saved thousands of animals around the world from the hands of exploitation. A huge feat for a kiwi lad raised in little old New Zealand. He currently holds the world record for circumnavigating the globe in his powerboat Earthrace and he is the founder of Earthrace Conservation.

His television show The Operatives documents his global missions to save the worlds wildlife. Bethune spent months in a Japanese prison after boarding a Japanese whaling vessel after it slammed into and destroyed his first powerboat. But this didn’t deter him. To this day, Bethune and his team are involved in anti poaching, wildlife smuggling prevention and fisheries enforcement. Massive Magazine’s Jamie-Lee Bracken had a chat with Bethune about his most memorable missions, what’s up next for him and his team and how you can get involved.

Has it always been an interest of yours to get involved in conservation?

No, I kinda evolved into it. I was a your typical kiwi lad raised in a small town. I spent a lot of my time eeling, fishing and going camping and stuff like that. So I got a lot of appreciation for the outdoors and wildlife but not a passion really and then when I worked overseas in the whale industry, I was posted in the North Sea and also North Africa, through my time there I grew uneasy about fossil fuels and my journey in the conservation industry started being, if you like, a rebellion against fossil fuels having worked in the industry. 2004 was when I started work on this project called Earthrace where we built this boat and set a record for a powerboat to go around the world and we fuelled it on by diesel fuels…. I was on that boat at Earthrace I started to see a lot of problems in marine conservation and it gradually got under my skin and then it wasn’t until 2009 that I got the chance to join a team to go to Antarctica and stop Japanese whaling. For me this was probably the key period wanting to do something in terms of marine conservation but not really knowing how to do it and then my time in Antarctica and I went back to Japan where I was a prisoner for five months. Over that period was a key time

when I decided to dedicate my life to doing conservation when I got out of prison… I wouldn’t say there was any great epiphany or single moment where I became a conservationist its been a gradual evolution into it and one of the analogies I use is once you’re really starting to work on the things you believe in, it’s very hard to go back and work nine till five selling washing machines or computers. I’m very blessed that these days I get to work on what I really believe in and the sacrifices that are made as part of that. I have no house, no car and assets aside from tactical gear so there’s sacrifices that are made and I get to live the dream.

What was going through your head the moment your boat ‘Earthrace’ was slammed by another vessel?

Those types of things often they happen really really fast like I’ve been involved in quite a few episodes where I thought none of them might come up today, we’ve come under fire a few times and you end up being very worried about your crew. The day I dread is the day I bring back one of my crew in a body bag. When that boat turned into us I do remember thinking we are going to be lucky to all come out of this and in the end all we had was one guy with broken ribs which was a small miracle. It was a close call, if the boat boat had turned a couple seconds earlier we would have had people in body bags, there’s no question on that, so there’s an interesting that happens with your perception of time.

With all the dangerous missions you go on, are there any times that you have thought to yourself that it’s getting too dangerous?

Yeah I’ve had that a few times. Once I was in Venezuela, back in 2011 I think it was and we were in a small fishing village on the border with Colombia, it’s a very lawless area. There’s drug runners and people smugglers and weapons smugglers, it’s an area that virtually the military doesn’t go there and at the time I turned up with some local navy guys who took time off work and they got a couple of weeks annual leave and I managed to score one of these military zodiacs… we were based there, waiting for these illegal

Interview | 19

fishing boats form overseas to come in and start trawling. The local fisherman would come in and tell us if there were any foreign boats there and on this day we had already caught a couple. This boat came in and as we pulled up towards it, often when we board vessels we often try to do it at night, I can normally get my guys on the boat without the crew knowing at night but in this case it was quite choppy and there was a question mark whether we could keep following these guys till darkness. So we made the call to get on board and as we came in, next thing there was these two guys both standing on the sides with AK47s and one guy fired off maybe about 10 rounds and one of them ended up hitting the zodiac a couple of feet in front of me only six inches behind this other guy who’s sitting in front of me and for a second I thought what am I doing here but I think it was learning curve for me about sort of pushing things and when I look back on it there was a couple of things that we didn’t sort of have right and so I sort of made notes

“You can tell when you get into areas that has a goldmine because the wildlife are all gone.” about not making that same mistake again and sometimes on the more dangerous missions afterwards we have a debrief seeing what works for you and trying to learn from it and how we would approach a little differently.

What is the most satisfying thing about your job?

I get to save animals I’ve saved quite literally thousands of animals.

Some of the coolest ones have been the wildlife smuggling

missions where there was a smuggling ring… we managed to close down this wildlife smuggling ring. I’ve got some pretty hardcore guys in my team and all of them without exception with tears coming down their cheeks that they got to relate this animal that they’d help save. The best thing I can do is save animals…and the money shot is when you get to go and put that animal back in the wild, it’s something pretty special.

What is one of your most memorable missions?

Probably the coolest places I’ve ever been is Corcovado National Park in Costa Rica. We teamed up with the local rangers… and we closed down two illegal gold mining operations. Corcovado National park is one of the world’s iconic national parks. It has the tallest canopy of anywhere on Earth, it’s the most extraordinary jungle the wildlife in there is unbelievable. Because it’s so remote they [the people] shoot the wildlife and live off that. You can tell when you get into areas that has a goldmine because the wildlife are all gone. The areas that haven’t been mined they are amazing, snakes, jaguars, monkeys all sorts of wildlife.

How can students volunteer and get involved in conservation?

There’s three sorts of ways people can get involved in conservation… they need to have a skill set… there’s a whole range of skill sets but you need to be really good at something and often you’ve gotta get your foot in the door to start with by volunteering.

So you want to pick an organisation that shares your values and that works with what you want to work on… go join WWF or Greenpeace. Find something that presses your buttons and volunteer. Show that you’ve got the skill set that another person wants and then volunteer. If you’re really good, the best places will take you on full time… If I get two CVs come across my desk, and one’s volunteered in a local animal shelter, at a beach clean-up, I’ll always take a person who has always already volunteered. If you can show hey I’ve already done this, it’s starting small and working your way up. I find the best volunteers I get are the one’s who already have experience.

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Opinion | 21

An iron fist in a velvet glove:

Karanga Mai

I come from a family with connections to both te ao Pākehā me te ao Māori that enables me to walk through two different worlds. While I am proud of both connections, studying has made me realise just how Māori I am and like others, education has helped me flourish in the way I think and the way that I see the world.

Throughout my nursing degree, I have learnt that a large proportion of Māori live with sickness and in poverty, live in poor housing conditions, are in and out of the criminal justice system, do not speak Te Reo Māori, do not complete their degree programmes, are significantly more likely to commit suicide and are more likely to experience psychological disability than those who are of non-Māori descent.

These negative statistics at first made me point fingers and lecture my nephews to stay in school. And then, when I became aware of conversations that systematically marginalise Māori and trap ignorant people into heated conversations about ‘Māori privilege’ I realised it wasn’t a Māori issue at all but a New Zealand issue.

This made me want to yell about the need for change but, being one of the few Māori in my degree programme with a passion for supporting others, made me feel whakamā in using my voice alone. I wanted to be brave especially when it concerned Māori and my peers, but I didn’t know where to start. I knew that I had to keep calm. I had to disguise my anger as passion in an iron fist and instead take a velvet glove approach.

In seeking out other Māori in nursing, I learnt that there is less than 20 Māori nursing students in the three year groups on the Wellington campus. In knowing the statistic of a low completion rate of all Māori students, it made me wonder why there aren’t more Māori in the nursing programme. Could it be related to the lack of visible support and a Māori mentor? Who knows really.

What I do know, is that students won’t succeed in their studies if they feel unsupported and arguably, if the programme they are part of, doesn’t embrace and celebrate diversity.

New Zealand is a multi-cultural society, we are exposed to a diverse population as soon as we leave our front doors. But sadly, in the nursing programme, we don’t hear indigenous narratives enough in order to understand why it’s so important to be diverse in our thinking. Diversity makes us stronger, it allows us to relate to more

people, be empathetic to ethnic injustices and innovative towards finding solutions to help each other. The more people that are able to understand the historical and social processes that have hindered Māori from flourishing further, the more we can address these issues and find a path forward.

I am part of a small team of current and previous nursing students, who approached the Massey at Wellington Students’ Association in 2016 for help on organising a noho marae trip. The purpose of the trip was to strengthen our knowledge of Māori Health, so that we collectively as future nurses are able to provide culturally competent care for Māori people. This was seen as a positive initiative and was well received by the students.

The proposal to organise a noho marae for nursing students in the first place was followed by a disappointing Māori Health paper, which took precedence in discussing Tikanga and Kaupapa Māori.

The students felt that they didn’t get enough contact time with the lecturer and no exposure to the Māori world despite having only two contact days with a tutor on the weekend before their clinical placements begun.

The noho marae experience was meant to be a positive initiative to nurture a growing interest in Māori culture amongst my peers: poipoia te kākano kia puāwai; nurture a seed and it will blossom.

In a nursing context, if Māori are statistically the most at risk population with higher rates of hospitalisation, then this paper would be the substantial vehicle at Massey in driving adequate knowledge of Tikanga and Kaupapa Māori for a culturally competent group of future nurses. The majority of the faculty members responded extremely well to the trip and encouraged us to see it happen but issues unintentionally emerged in its production, such as: – The lack of cultural advisory in the nursing department.

– No access to an alternative marae as the current campus marae remains under construction.

– Cultural avenues would likely only be student-led.

– Lack of a Māori mentor in nursing .

– Lack of a Māori Health lecturer .

– Lack of a Māori voice

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I understand the realities of what we were asking for in our proposal and the paperwork that might mountain as a result, but I was hopeful that my school would have the necessary cultural advisory to make it happen. Emails were exchanged while the previous Nursing Executive and I organised numbers of students, the marae we would attend, bus services, a budget and a marae agenda with learning outcomes. I had various members of staff want to have meetings with me and when I would ask for a time that would suit them, they Houdinied. I know they were busy and that my proposal was pushed to the bottom of the pile, but I remained hopeful that there would be some turnaround in staff that meant we would be supported.

The entire trip was organised over a period four months and was planned to be held in January, but the noho never happened and the email request for a guarantee that a noho marae would happen in the future for the next cohort of nursing students was ignored.

Whilst our team was upset that the students were missing out on an opportunity to further their learning, I turned to the National Student Unit to learn about how other nursing schools around New Zealand optimised similar educational events and supported cultural events.

Whilst it was discussed that many nursing schools also had problems with their Māori Health paper, they still had access to a marae and like us, a whānau room where they could debrief and support one another. Other schools were surprised to hear about the lack of a marae, a source of unity and cultural identity for Māori students, and the little Māori people Wellington Massey had in nursing.

In a non-confrontational, non-demanding and non-aggressive presentation, nursing students from all around New Zealand came together and presented the desperate need for a shift in attitude to support the well-being and growth of struggling nursing students.

We wanted to sit down and tell them about how we experienced the space they created and together, find solutions to make it better. Which is what we did to advocate for ourselves and for each other.

What I took away from that meeting was not only connections for a future noho marae but to facilitate a student-led wellbeing mentor

system called the Tuakana-Teina programme and to encourage manaakitanga amongst my peers.

Supporting and celebrating diversity is how we can grow safer spaces that support not only overall health but academic success.

And while I would point to a better equitable structure in our leadership as the first solution, what we can do as students is support each other, so that we are able to embrace diversity and hear those diverse voices loud and clear.

The lesson that I have learnt in the months of planning and discussing ideas to better support and advocate on campus, is that the collective wairua of students who are passionate about enhancing the learning community and advocating for their peers, has been a humbling experience that has brought us closer together.

Which is beautiful in itself but the greatest lesson of them all is that the future isn’t a place that we are running towards, it’s a place that we create through our spheres of influence. And, with the upcoming leadership, strong kaitiakitanga and a loud Māori voice, I think Massey Wellington will have a good team to call for change for both Māori and non-Māori.

Because the need for change is right now.

In response to this piece, the School of Nursing said it was committed to the Treaty and applying the principles to nursing practice and admitted a lack of Māori mentors and lecturers available to support Māori students in the nursing programme.

“Indeed, the School of Nursing fully recognises the importance of increasing our Māori staff if we are to attract more Māori nursing students, to ensure their success in the programme, and to support them through postgraduate studies and into faculty positions.”

“The noho marae visit was an inspired idea and the School would look to work with others on the campus to support future plans in the best way possible.”

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Artist Feature:

Liam Hopkinson

Massey’s Liam Hopkinson, studies a Bachelor of Design majoring in visual communication design at the university’s Wellington campus. Hopkinson often graces the pages of Massive Magazine with his out of this world scenic photographs of places from every corner of the globe. We sat down again to chat with the photographer.

How long have you been a photographer for?

I have been teaching myself in the ways of the lens for four-and-ahalf years now. I bought my first camera towards the end of high school and have since mostly learned from personal trial and error.

Working and traveling around the world I take every opportunity to get advice from professional photographers and peers. Since studying at Massey I have begun to learn how to broaden my urban photography through the course here, while still exploring my own adventure photography outside of class.

What inspires you as a photographer?

I was never very good at writing in a diary or blogging about the trips I go on, so I needed something to record my adventures.

Photography became the perfect way to share my stories with my friends and give a glimpse of how I perceive the world. I am inspired by the beautiful landscapes and scenery in this world and the wonderful people you can share these great places with. This in turn also inspires me to do everything I can to preserve and conserve our environment, so I photograph the scenery to help raise awareness and respect for protecting our environment.

You have travelled to some pretty amazing places, how have you had the opportunity to visit these areas?

I grew up with some pretty rad, quite different, parents who dragged me to as many wilderness areas as possible. Since then I have just never grown out of my sense for adventure and trying to experience as many of the cool places just outside the door. So I take it upon myself to take every opportunity available to me and get out there and adventure. Whether it is going kayaking with the local university club, driving across the country to photography the stars, or using my outdoor instructor/guide background to go and work in places like the Arctic (Svalbard, Norway).

What is the one question you are asked most about your travels?

Most people ask me about how cold it is in the polar regions. After seeing a few of my photos and seeing the penguins in Antarctica, straight away they want to know how I survive in such cold environments. To be honest it is only as cold as you dress. If you know your going out into zero degree weather, with wind and no sun, make sure your wearing five layers, puffy jacket, and a raincoat.

Not your stubbies and jandals… then its easy to engage and take in your beautiful surroundings. Just remember for the outdoors; cotton is rotten!

If you could invite five people to dinner, dead or alive, who would they be?

If I could invite five people to dinner, I would probably invite Ansal Adams to hear all about how he created some of the most amazing landscape photos in history. I would also invite Stephan Wilkes to hear about how he created the amazing Day to Night series.

Then I would also invite Gerhard (Guts) Swanepoel, because of his incredible wildlife photography, but also because he is one of the funniest guys I have met and would make it a dinner to remember.

Then two of my best photographer friends so they could be there to hear all the stories as well, and be able to talk about them later.

What is your top tip for aspiring young photographers?

My top tip for aspiring photographers is to get amongst it every chance you get. You will be amazed what what putting in five plus hours a week on a particular style of photography can do.

No matter how talented when you start, you will build up some amazing skills with great results. Just get out there and have fun with it.

Check Liam out at: Website: www.liamwhopkinson.com Instagram: liamwhopkinson

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26 | Feature

Nude feud

By Kasharn Rao Is nudity an art form, or is it just attention seeking? Most love scrolling through their feed and coming across an article featuring rude bits. Whether it’s due to an appreciation of expressionism, or a cheeky gander, not many between the ages of 14 and 40 have much to complain about. But does it really have a place among the likes of Picasso and Banksy, or is it just sex culture masquerading as ‘a bold form, don’t question me or you’re an old fart’.

Nudity has been present in art since the age in which we dragged ourselves through our own shit screaming at each other because we had just discovered a way to make dead mammoth not taste like dead mammoth. Every culture presents nudity in its art at some point in time. Whether it’s the boobies on ancient pottery, dongs in old paintings, or the overwhelming presence of vaginas in psychedelic art, the bare is there.

As culture has evolved, we have come to grow these strange things called ‘standards.’ Not a lot of them make sense, but we’ve learned to live by them for a long time. Towards the 1800s, women’s fashion became so extremely concealing, that the sight of a tit was rarer than a good student meal. This idea around nudity being taboo multiplied in the 1900s, especially aimed towards women. You’ve heard it all before, sexism, racism, grey suits, milkshakes, and a very strict policy on censorship. Many forms of media that contained nudity were banned in western society, which obviously lead to the formation of an underground nudity market. Widely revered and infamous nudity medias such as the Tijuana Bibles are responsible for why nudity suddenly seems so outrageous when it’s casually presented on your average Buzzfeed article.

As we move into the age of self-empowerment, speaking your goddamn mind, and emojis, nudity has become an abundant feature in art. There are barely any laws against it in western culture, especially if you slap a label on it that says, ‘it’s art bro, oppress me if you dare’.

In places like China however, they haven’t exactly followed grey suit. The Golden Shield operation, consisting of numerous Titanic censorship programs, prevents citizens of China from accessing things like Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and yes, anything related to nudity. It seems we met a fork in the crossroad, we went one way and they went the other, buttoning up their shirt as they did so.

So in our current culture, where nudity is widely accepted as an art form, how do we discern where the limit is? How sultry does it have to be before it becomes pornographic, something that is generally looked down on? It’s a fine line, one that grows finer every time Facebook receives a report from an angry mum. There are certain conventions to look for that expressly state when something is pornographic, but apparently tweaking the lighting a little can count as artistic venture. Anything really can be art if you describe it as such. Someone left their glasses on the floor of an art gallery some time ago, people thought that was art. Someone sold blank canvases, attached with a description of its symbolic meaning, people bought it. Someone decided to yell ‘DJ Khaled’ at the start of someone else’s song, people genuinely consider him an artist.

However, while anything can be art, not all nudity is pornographic.

Perhaps to your grandmother it might be, but nobody cares about her outdated opinion. You have to really scrutinize it because unless it has a PornHub logo it can be quite hard to discern.

How does one snap a dick pic and label it as art? Through some bullshit poetry. If there’s one thing high schools are good for, it’s teaching you to write copious amounts of poetic bullshit about something you know absolutely nothing about. Take this excuse for instance: “My work explores the relationship between gender politics and counter-terrorism.

With influences as diverse as Kafka and Joni Mitchell, new insights are crafted from both orderly and random meanings.

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Ever since I was a postgraduate I have been fascinated by the endless oscillation of the zeitgeist. What starts out as vision soon becomes corroded into a dialectic of defeat, leaving only a sense of nihilism and the chance of a new beginning.

As spatial replicas become transformed through diligent and academic practice, the viewer is left with a tribute to the edges of our condition.”

Even if this quote is paired with an image of a butt, how do you argue with it? It has become too easy to spread sex culture under the guise of artistic venture. For all we know, the Massey paper Drawing the Human Body is just after a sneak peek, while feeding us lines about form and empowerment. Same goes for nude photographers. You could literally capture anything else in the world, just fess up, we all know you just like the ability to see skin without looking like a creep (spoiler alert, it comes off as a bit scungy anyway, so there’s not really any point).

Sex culture has exploded in the last few decades, we know sex sells.

Yet we are afraid to embrace sex as a normal part of our mainstream culture, so we have to find some way to advertise an ass without someone shouting “preposterous” after adjusting their monocle.

Is it really such a bad thing though? Nudity does have its place in art, seeing as it was stuffed into a societal trash bin and shoved under the desk for nearly a century. We’re supposed to be moving on from sexism and milkshakes, and while I concur that in many parts of the world that’s not something we’ve achieved, there’s no harm in embracing the freedom that has been granted us. No longer are art galleries full of splotches of paint accompanied by bullshit poetry, now there’s every chance you could see weiners or titties accompanied by bullshit poetry, and that’s an exciting thing.

While the explanation for nude presence may seem pretentious, there is some truth to it. Many artworks featuring nudity can be breathtaking, incredible images that make you feel all sorts of

funny. There’s a lot we can do with this medium, and in many cases, nudity can be a show of empowerment, of raw self expression, and of outrageous defiance.

It’s food for thought, and I’ll leave you with the example of performance artist Milo Moiré. Give her a Google search and decide whether her work is art for art’s sake, or whether she’s just looking for followers.

A good indication of where you stand on the matter is whether you choose to search in incognito browser or not.

“For all we know, the Massey paper Drawing the Human Body is just after a sneak peek, while feeding us lines about form and empowerment.”

28 | Feature

Are the humanities coming to an end?

By Taryn Dryfhout The internet is full of stories about the humanities’ declining enrolments, lack of funding and poor job prospects, as people continue to speculate about the fate of this previously thriving field.

With humanities numbers declining all over the world, and people trying to estimate its time of death, some are now describing it as a crisis. But, are the humanities really coming to an end?

Ministry of Education figures indicate that even in New Zealand, the humanities are dwindling. While university enrolment numbers are climbing every year, most of this growth is in subjects such as science and engineering. While humanities enrolments climbed until around 2010, after this time they started steadily falling, a pattern which has continued. Movements within the universities are also reflecting the decline. In 2016, the University of Auckland suspended enrolments to several of their qualifications in Religion and Theology and the University of Otago announced plans to reduce their humanities staffing by 15 to 20 positions from the music, languages, English, history and anthropology departments.

In March of this year it was also announced that the University of Waikato are proposing major cuts to their staffing, due to diminishing enrollment numbers. With so many departments shutting its doors, it might be time to explore some of the reasons why this shift is taking place.

Money Talks The biggest threat to humanities, is undoubtedly the job market.

We are all familiar with the joke about the BA graduate serving fries at McDonald’s. This attitude towards humanities students is shaping the perception that humanities graduates will struggle to find employment after graduation, and that consequently, an arts degree might be about as useful as having a degree in underwater napkin folding. For most people, a humanities degree is nothing more than a piece of paper and a job at a fast food chain.

Humanities graduates have come to be increasingly concerned about job viability at the end of their degree, and are increasingly choosing to study subjects which can give them the certainty they need that the road to success will be paved with regular income.

In addition to needing money after graduation, students also need money to fund their degree, and recent cuts to student

funding in New Zealand have no doubt contributed to the decline in humanities enrollments. Cuts to student allowance for postgraduate students, lifetime caps on student loans and allowances and the increasing level of national student debt could all be deterring people from studying something that doesn’t lead directly to a job. It’s not just the students who are concerned either.

Parents who are watching the price of degree surging upwards are becoming anxious about the earning power of humanities degrees, and are encouraging their children to fix their eyes on something that will reap the best financial benefits. Doctor Jacqueline Rowarth, the Environmental Protection Authority’s Chief Scientist, has even publicly advised parents to keep their children from studying arts at university, and to instead guide them toward the sciences.

The STEM Phenomenon In an age that is placing heavy emphasis on the sciences, technology, engineering, and maths (STEM), the humanities are being drowned out, causing a great divide between the humanities, and STEM subjects. Living in the high-tech era means there is naturally going to be a demand for people to fill the job growth that this era is fueling, creating pressure for students to have skills in the STEM realm in order to secure a job. In this increasingly technological market, the continuing value of a humanities education is being questioned.

Are These Valid Reasons?

While these factors may be contributing reasons for the decline in humanities, they aren’t necessarily all valid reasons. Firstly, while the job market continues to put people off studying the humanities, it probably shouldn’t. According to statistics, BA graduates are not starving artists, and do not end up working at a drive-through.

Humanities graduates have similar employment outcomes as scientists and engineers, and while it’s not clear exactly what these graduates are doing, what is clear is that having studied humanities is still a highly desirable attribute for employers. It is also worth pointing out that the humanities offer skills that can be used in life, not just work. This current rhetoric that study must be employmentmotivated suggests that life as a citizen, member of the community, partner, parent etc. is all meaningless – it perpetuates a destructive

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idea that all that matters is money. While having work and money is a good thing, pushing people to study things which do not make them happy robs them of enjoyment, and the opportunity for them to contribute to the world in other meaningful ways.

The Value of Humanities

Secondly, while STEM education should remain a crucial part of higher education going forward, the humanities have a dignity of their own, and unique strengths that cannot be found in STEM education. Humanities majors are analysts of everything – they think critically about the world around them, and look deeper into

“Studying the humanities is valuable not just because it gives you skills that are useful in the world of work (and hence increases your earning capacity). It’s also valuable because it equips you to navigate twenty-first century life. It gives you the ability to critically assess information in a time when we’re bombarded with spurious ‘facts’. It gives you the ability to think deeply in a time when the pace of life encourages fast and superficial thought. It gives you the ability to reflect on past or imagined worlds in order to better understand the present. And it also happens to be fun,” says August.

“We are all familiar with the joke about the BA graduate serving fries at McDonald’s.” everything in life from politics, to society, culture, and media. This kind of analytical thinking means they can offer their skills among a broad range of professions.

It may be that the humanities are simply a casualty of the changing academic landscape. While numbers may be declining within formal institutions, people are exploring the humanities more than ever before – just not in the way that they used to. People everywhere are engaging in free courses online, watching tutorials on YouTube, joining book clubs, visiting museums, libraries and looking for opportunities everywhere to learn, and explore their interests in art, music, history, religion, and philosophy. The Auckland Writers Festival this year broke records, with almost 70,000 people flocking to enjoy a week of literature, indicating that the humanities are not dead – they are just being experienced outside of the ivory tower. While traditional educational institutions may be seeing a decline in their numbers, the emergence of different learning opportunities suggests that perhaps the humanities aren’t dying, but rather are just changing.

Doctor Hannah August, a lecturer in the School of English and Media Studies, feels that the humanities are still valuable, and relevant.

Studying humanities does not just teach skills, but it develops character which is going to contribute to success in any career path, and in life in the wider sense. It produces educated, well-rounded people who care deeply about society in a very fundamental way, who engage in art, and higher forms of thought for the rest of their lives. The humanities teach us how to respond to the things which are crucial to our humanity – art, philosophy, literature – the things which make us human. If we were to move away from these things, these enriching qualities would soon disappear from our society.

The original question remains: are the humanities coming to an end? Whether they are in decline or not, the humanities are still very much alive. Profound scholarship is still being produced, conferences are still taking place and enrollments are still coming in from students who are deeply interested in the humanities. The fact is, the humanities will never die so long as there continues to be those who pursue it for the right reason: passion. Those who study humanities know that they do so because of a fire burning inside of them, which will not be extinguished by declining enrollments, fast food jobs or reduced student funding. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and humanities students still have a way. For them, it’s not simply a means to getting a job. It’s a calling. It is my prayer that humanities will continue to live on through these students.

Otherwise, the end of humanities, might just signal the end of humanity.

30 |

Humour | 31

Modern Miss Lonelyhearts: How to find a ‘good guy’

Join Massive’s own agony aunt, as she dissects the peaks and pitfalls of dating in a millennial world.

Let’s give this a shot, yeah? It’s not like this is an age-old question. Should be easy enough to figure out in the space of a few hundred words.

So. I’ve been asked this question a lot. I’ve certainly thought about it a lot, too. This is what I’ve come up with.

It’s not really a question of ‘where’ to find a nice guy. Chances are, they hang around in the same places as you, along with all the other types of guys. After all, you and this person are mostly likely going to share the similar or at least similar interests – where it be in the clubs, or otherwise. … Okay, probably not in the clubs.

But seriously – this is what I have for you. Finding a ‘good guy’ or a ‘nice guy’ is completely dependent upon your own understanding of what exactly you want and deserve. That, combined with the knowledge that you’re not going to settle for anything less. Now obviously, that’s easier said than done – as are a lot of things that are great, and simple, in theory. I mean – how do you make chocolate? I wouldn’t have a clue.

The idea of a ‘good guy’ is relative to begin with. In order to understand what hot is, you need to understand what cold is. So in order to understand what good is, you need to understand what bad is. Which usually means, you’re either going to date a ‘bad guy’, or have a brother, a guy friend, or perhaps a dad who’s a ‘bad guy’. From that experience, we gain the fundamental understanding of what an asshole sounds and acts like.

When it comes down to it, if you know how you should be treated because of past experiences, then you will be treated that way, simply because you’ll refuse to be treated any other way.

As you enter new relationships, you’ll start to see those little alarming red flags crop up from time to time and you’ll say to yourself: “Oh – this isn’t what I deserve. I’m moon-walkin’ right outta here”.

You could even do exactly that – make an entire Michael Jacksonesque scene of it – I promise you, that’ll speed up the process.

Bottom line – don’t tolerate, compromise or accept any less than you deserve. Ever. It isn’t your job to fix someone up. It’s not your job to show someone how to be a better person. That’s their job, as a human being. If they’re not already making a continuous effort to properly play their part in the relationship, then they’re not ready for one.

We all deserve to be treated well: be it through comfort, validation, support or what have you.

As hard as it may be to see sometimes, there is someone out there who wants to do that. Try to find that person, rather than glimpses of that person in somebody lesser.

No one wants to date the ‘bad guy’. So please, don’t let yourself be the one to date the ‘bad guy’. You’re better than that.

Believe me, I realise this is very difficult and nothing I write is going to change that. But I wish you the very best of luck – from a gal who has been there, done that.

32 | Feature

What’s wrong with Wongamatar?

By Mackenzie Dyer Have you ever felt too “kiwi” to pronounce a Māori place name correctly?

How about disrespected when someone can’t be bothered to say your hometown properly?

Or do you just not care?

Māori Language week always revamps the discussion of whether we incorporate Te Reo Māori enough into modern kiwi culture.

An on-going example of these conversations surrounds how our pronunciation of Māori place names does not sound like Te Reo at all, and whether it is a negative that the English way of saying Matamata, Taupo and Pakuranga have become more popularised and accepted than the correct way.

The main argument to explain why we so often hear Māori places said incorrectly is laziness. Rolling r’s and changing vowel sounds is deemed too much effort for some kiwis, and instead they are happy to completely transform how our place names sound. Many people see the lack of effort as extremely disrespectful to Māori culture, especially since Te Reo is an official language of our country and the number of those learning to speak it fluently is declining.

Hana Botha, founder of the Facebook page BTCHN, which is dedicated to creating a conscious culture in New Zealand, agrees that it’s laziness. She says speakers of Te Reo do not try to make English place names (like Gore) sound Māori by rolling their r’s and changing their vowel sounds, so we shouldn’t disrespect their language by saying Māori places in English.

A rebuttal to this is that some of our place names are particularly difficult, and can be tempting to say in English. Some people genuinely can’t roll their r’s making even less complex Māori place names like Rotorua and Putāruru all the more difficult. Then, on top of that, you have names like Ngaruawahia, and of course Tauma-

tawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu, which, even for fluent Te Reo speakers, is obviously a bit of a mouthful.

However, it is the lack of effort that disgruntles the opposing side of the argument. Even without the ability to roll r’s, it is made quite obvious when a person’s “Whangarei” is a “Wangeray” that there is an absence of effort to say the name in Te Reo. President of Te Waka Ō Ngā Ākonga Māori, Ezekiel Tamaana Raui, says that the issue goes beyond our place names.

“I think Māori words – not just Māori place names should be pronounced properly not only to be respectful to Māori as an ethnicity and indigenous culture of this country, but also to be respectful towards New Zealand/Aotearoa and it’s foundation.

“As a result of a partnership between Māori and Pākehā we have an amazing country and to honour that we should do our best to embrace it but contribute equally.”

“The main argument to explain why we so often hear Māori places said incorrectly is laziness.”

| 33

Raui says Te Reo should be taught at primary schools, so kids are encouraged to not only say place names properly, but to naturally incorporate Te Reo into their everyday language.

With an endangered language on our hands, the answer seems simple: do your best and make the effort to pronounce our Māori place names correctly.

However, is pronouncing these places in English a bad thing if it connects people? It’s no secret that speaking the way your peers do creates solidarity. For example, on Massey’s Albany campus, the word Takapuna is not even said with the wrong pronunciation in full, and is simply called “Taka-town” (said “Tackar” rather than the correct “Tuka” in English pronunciation).

But, if it is that easy, why aren’t we doing it already?

It would be hard to say there are disrespectful intentions here or even laziness, as they are very similar in their amount of syllables and letters. It merely groups the North-Shorians together and creates a sense of locality. This idea is important to consider, especially if we think about going to a new area ourselves, and how adopting the way of the locals is much easier and more comfortable than calling their place something different from them.

So, maybe a more explanatory answer would be fear.

But does the need for solidarity make saying “Wonga” for Whangamatā and “Too-a-cow” for Tuakau okay?

So to break this argument down, yes, New Zealand has some difficult names to pronounce correctly in Te Reo Māori. Is it understandable that people may be reluctant to change the way they have been saying these place names? Yes. With this in mind, a more productive way forward then is to stop calling each other racist, backward or insensitive, but instead recognise that a culturally rich aspect of New Zealand culture may have the potential to become extinct. Surely we can all care enough about that to help each other get there.

“Normally as a Linguist I would say variety is very important as language has social meaning,” says Massey University linguistics lecturer Victoria Kerry.

“For example, since English is spoken world-wide, if we ignored different accents, we would be ignoring differences in social groupings,” she says.

“The standard New Zealand English accent separates us from those who speak standard British English. However, Te Reo is an endangered language that requires the dominant English speaking group’s support. We need to learn the standard Māori pronunciation to protect the language.”

It is difficult to un-stick people from their ways, as we are all creatures of habit after all. But a conscious attempt at normalising, teaching and learning to articulate Māori place names does not explain why, after years of discussion, nothing has changed.

As ridiculous as it sounds that we would be afraid to pronounce the names of our own land correctly, the divide between English and Māori culture has created the fear of looking too try-hard for many to want to try and break these norms. Saying it consciously wrong but in the mainstream fashion may feel safer than to try and be unsuccessful.

We’re all kiwi after all.

34 | Opinion

Is New Zealand Netball on the Rebound?

The Yarns from Pitch Five

Massive’s resident sports jockey, Adam Pearse, tackles the sporting quandaries of our time with the skill of Saville, the daring of Devillin, and the vibrancy of Veitchy (forgetting his history with stairways). From cricket to croquet and everything in between, these are the Yarns from Pitch Five.

I want to start this by admitting a grievous act of mine to the readers of Yarns of Pitch Five. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know why it happened. But on Wednesday, September 13, I switched the channel from the Canterbury vs Counties Manukau rugby game to watch the Silver Ferns play the Roses as part of Netball’s Taini Jamison trophy deciding match. Not once in my life have I ever traded rugby for netball without being under extreme duress from my mother after she’s polished off a bottle of Sav and decided to use it as a weapon. I have always remained steadfast in my opinion that New Zealand rugby is undoubtedly more entertaining than New Zealand netball. And yet, I found myself drawn to the fight of the foliage, the Ferns vs the Roses, the constant struggle for ascendency with intercepts became crucial as the clock wound down.

Now, some context may be valuable to this situation as the rugby game I had previously been watching was one that had Canterbury scoring tries for fun which, for some, may be entertaining, but for me, a full-on spanking is only enjoyable in one set of circumstances and it sure as hell ain’t on a rugby field. But back to main point, the feeling that I felt that evening was one that will be shared across the

“...New Zealand rugby is undoubtedly more entertaining than New Zealand netball.”

nation. This was a game that was captivating to every viewer and it made me wonder whether we may be seeing a resurgence in our most elegant sport.

For those who don’t know, New Zealand and Australia have been the dominant powers in international netball for some time but over the past few years, Australia has outclassed New Zealand time and time again at both the international and domestic level. I remember the days of my youth where a young Irene van Dyk and a robust Vilimaina Davu would dominate against any opposition and an ‘across the ditch’ derby would be a fiercely contested battle of Netball superpowers. It is this level pf play that had seemed to escape our national side but in games of late, the quality of our girls has been exemplary.

Beating Australia in a convincing fashion and then taking out a three-game series with England, winning comfortably in the final decider, these things show promise. The reason for this is all down to the ANZ Championship. The ANZ Championship was the domestic netball competition that included both Australian and New Zealand franchises however, that all changed in 2017. Due to consistent poor outings by New Zealand teams against Australian teams, New Zealand has formed its own provincial competition, comprising of six teams from across the country.

What this has done is allow us to get back to formulating a ‘New Zealand’ style of play. In the past, we had been forced to play the Australians at their own game. Now, we have the opportunity to develop fresh talent in an atmosphere that is totally our own. And it shows when you look at our team. We have the likes of Bailey Mes at the top of the court, whose movement off the ball and shooting accuracy is rivalled only by her partner in the ever-classy Maria Tutaia. At the back, we have the young skill of Temalisi Fakahokotau, a name so enjoyable to say, it may become my new favourite swear word. This girl has some serious hops and when paired with the veteran centurion in Katrina Grant, there isn’t many defensive pairings that match their ability. All in all, what happened on that fateful Wednesday night was just a one off but if the Ferns carry on in this form in the Constellation Cup against the Aussies, it might become a regular occurrence.

Opinion | 35

Mum’s the Word:

Counting my chickens before they’ve hatched

Massive columnist Taryn Dryfhout looks at how to juggle a ‘study mummy’ life, at the same time as working, raising children, volunteering and maintaining her sanity throughout.

Having been parents for ten years, and not having had any of the kids come down with chicken pox, we had hoped that the dreaded illness might be one bullet that we could dodge. Unfortunately, last week, the odds were against us.

Early on Saturday, Miss Six had complained of a few itching spots, which we assumed to be bug bites after playing in the garden. By the time I bathed her that night, she was covered.

Having some fairly serious health issues, and no previous infection of chicken pox made me a really good candidate for serious complications if I was to contract it myself. With these risks in mind, my husband and I decided we needed to act. Our plan was simple, keep me away from the infected child.

My husband immediately took time off work to care for the kids so that I would have less chance of becoming infected, but the plan was flawed. Since we don’t have any chicken-pox immune relatives or friends close by, there was no option for me but to stay within the house. With my daughter touching everything, sitting on everything, and sharing the one bathroom in our house, it soon became clear that it was going to be near impossible for me to keep my distance. After several sleepless, panic attack laden nights of Googling ‘adult chicken pox’ and convincing myself that I had about seven more minutes to live, I took myself off to the doctor.

Due to my health conditions, having the vaccine was not an option, so the doctor sent me for an immunity test. The 24 hours it took for that test to come back were the longest in my life.

Turns out, I don’t need to write my will just yet. The test came back positive, indicating that I have immunity through being in contact with an infected person at some point without having gone on to contract the disease. What a relief.

This allowed my husband to go back to work, and for me to be able to focus on my daughter, who by this time, had the pox on her

scalp, in the waterlines of her eyes, and in her ears. However, this time at home was not easy. It took three hideous days for the welts to scab over, but even when they did, we were about as welcome as an envelope full of anthrax. We couldn’t go to school, church, swimming, or gymnastics, and were banned from visiting family as they had not contracted it before. This stuck us at home.

The chicken pox soon gave way to cabin fever. Having four children stuck in the house while it poured outside for ten days very quickly resulted in restlessness, and at times, unruly behaviour. Every toy was played with, everything on Netflix watched (twice), and every board game brought out, all within the first few days.

“...I am hoping and praying that our boys will escape the terrible disease...”

If this experience has left me with nothing else, it has astonished me at the general flippancy over chicken pox. I have known many people who hosted, or attended, a ‘chicken pox party’ or playdate in the hope that their children would acquire the infection as quickly as possible. While I understand that this is done out of the belief that it’s best to get the disease as a child, I wonder if people realise that there children will be miserable, look like infectious zombies for a fortnight, and that it can be serious, and even fatal.

With my daughter now recovered, out of her contagious window, and off to school on Monday, all that’s left to do is wait out the 21-day incubation period to see if my boys are going to get it.

Having been through it with one child, and seeing what a struggle it is, I am hoping and praying that our boys will escape the terrible disease, and certainly wouldn’t be taking any measures to infect them deliberately.

36 |

Humour | 37

Dilemma Doctor

Since real life doctors are expensive, sometimes it pays to take the advice of more ‘alternative’ practices. Bring your problems, not your apples, and the Dilemma Doctor will prescribe you some terrible advice. Whether you take it or not is up to you, but always know the Doctor has your best interests at heart, even if he does hold a questionable MD.

Dear​D ​ octor, My​​boyfriend​​and​​I​​live​​a​​very​​happy​​vegan​​life.​​ It​​was​​hard​​getting​​him​​to​​convert​​but​​for months​​we’ve​​been​​ healthy​​and​​guilt​​free.​​However,​​I​​have​​a​​few​​concerns.​​We​​ were getting​​hot​​and​​heavy​​and​​I​​decided​​to​​give​​his​​meat​​a​​ treat​​but​​surprisingly​​it​​turned​​out to​​be​​very​​meaty.​​I​​tasted​​ ham,​​something​​I​​haven’t​​consumed​​since​​I​​was​​enlightened.

Has​ ​he​ ​been​ ​cheating​ ​on​ ​his​ ​eating?

-Vegan​​Vic

Who cares if your boyfriend likes to fuck dead pigs, there’s a bigger issue here. My growing suspicions have been confirmed.

We have officially entered the apocalypse. Ever since veganism sprouted into popularity, the cult has been largely regarded as a phase and nothing more. But recent cases of innocent people being subjected to the horrible rituals of veganism have resulted not in months of therapy, but with the poor sods emerging as selfrighteous prophets of some malevolent hipster entity. Veganism is growing everywhere, and as the sickly malnourished faces spread, I can’t help but shiver as our planet is consumed. I don’t know what demonic tools you creatures use to infect others but they won’t help you break down the walls of my meat fort. Come at me green rangers.

Dear​D ​ octor, I​​met​​this​​cute​​boy​​last​​night​​and​​he’s​​been​​ sending​​me​​some​​raunchy​​snaps.​​I’m​​really excited​​to​​respond,​​ but​​I​​don’t​​want​​to​​come​​straight​​out​​with​​everything.​​I​​want​​ to​​tease him​​first​​and​​get​​him​​hooked,​​but​​I’m​​not​​super​​ experienced​​in​​the​​art​​of​​nude-mongering. So​​tell​​me,​​before​​I​​ hit​​send,​​how​​much​​thigh​​is​​too​​much​​thigh?

-Flirty​F ​ lora

Well, that depends. Are you lifting it high enough to reveal the scar shaped like an ampersand that identifies you as the last known person to have been in contact with the head of a major cocaine distributor operating out of an inconspicuous Kiwibank who was responsible for murdering a local science teacher, who was secretly an informant for the police, resulting in an investigation that was lead astray by a false lead created by your uncle, who at the time was posing as a beggar to escape an underground hand job cult located beneath a certain flat in Wellington, which you had to burn down to conceal the secret identity of the woman you loved, unaware that she was trapped inside, resulting in you having to flee

prosecution and obtain a new identity provided by your brother, who then framed that identity for his own long list of public urination charges, forcing you to flee once again until presented with an unfair deal with an old business partner, offering you protection in exchange for your services, which you begrudgingly agree to, later digging up dirt on the bastard and using it to blackmail him into giving you $20,000 in cash, a foot-long pizza sub with barbecue and mayo, and an unregistered flight to Spain departing early 2018? If the answer is yes, then yeah, that’s too much thigh.

Dear​​Doctor, I​​live​​just​​five minutes​​away​​from​​Pizza​H ​ ut,​​and​​ their​​$5​​flavour​​menu​​happens​​to​​be​q ​ uite​a ​ tasty​​bargain.​​ Only​​problem​​is​​now​​I’ve​​gone​f​ rom​​a​​pizza​​a​​week​​to​f​ our​​ or​​five​​a​​week, because​​it’s​​so​​close,​s​ o​​cheap,​​and​s​ o​​yum.​​ I’m​​gaining​​weight,​b ​ reaking​​out,​a ​ nd feeling​​as​​shitty​​as​​the​​ bathroom​​floors​​of​​Red​​Square.​​However,​​I’m​​finding​t​ his​i​s​t​ o​​ be an​​impossible​​habit​​to​​break,​​I’ve​​become​​rusty​​at​​cooking,​​ and​​every​​time​​I​​go​​to​t​ he supermarket​​I​​feel​​like​I​​c​ ould​​just​​ save​​time,​​effort,​​and​​money​​just​​by​​popping​​down​​to pizza​​ town. How​​do​​I​​handle​​this​​addiction?

-Cheesy​​Cho

Pizza Hut’s $5 flavour menu may seem like a blessing, but really it is a cheesy, crispy, curse. Slowly they suck you in until you are just another cog in their delicious machine, buying box after box of mouthwatering pizza, until your body mass becomes 20 per cent grease, at which point you’ll need a bigger empty box, one that goes into the ground. If you are to beat this addiction, you have to get rid of the substance. Pizza Hut is a franchise that nearly died out a while ago, but has managed to get back on its feet.

But if it wobbled once, then it can topple given the right amount of pressure in the right areas. Boycotting Pizza Hut isn’t tough, a little bad mouthing reviews here and there, a few discreet calls to Dominoes for support, and a scientific investigation into the effects of Pizza Hut on the human body (with slightly altered results, claiming that it causes leukemia or something) published all over Facebook and plastered all over Pizza Hut joints should do the trick. Rehab will be miserable, bland, difficult, and expensive, but you’ll come out the other end stronger, smarter, and responsible for a few recent bankruptcy and unemployment trends.

DISCLAIMER: Although the Dilemma Doctor has your very best interests in heart please keep in mind he is no expert. If you are after serious advice, please consult a professional.

COL_FRD_00200

38 | Column Creative Writing

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Creative Writing | 39

Creative Writing

The Hollow – Elliott Tremlet There are places like this at the edge of every town.

Here are the broken things, the rust and the decay, tattered newspaper fluttering, mud, brambles. A hollow, masked by shadows. Above, like hunchbacks peering down from sinister heights, see the twisted branches of age-old trees, creaking and moaning, leaves whispering in a bitter wind. Push deeper into the crater, look around as the gnarled roots circle and trap, mind the shards of glass. The rain that can make it through the warren above drips down into fetid pools.

Looking Around – Melissa Ng Monday hits off for the week And all the tour action begins!

We go to the art gallery Can you hear that melody?

Mr Chocolate loves it! “Everything here is just great!”

Walking over to Te Papa We encounter a giant squid on display

Mr Chocolate is hyped!

With no words, what else can he say?

As we played hide and seek tag in the caves And he catches me At arm’s reach Again, once more (dammit) Finally oh finally what tourists always love most is Weta Cave!

Everybody knows Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit Agreed, agreed just nod it You gotta have a highlight from the workshop tour So much to look at, so much to take in So I’m gonna let you ponder that, cat (meow).

Places like this rarely receive visitors, but he is here anyway, hood up and hidden beneath a sodden coat, waiting, watching, uneasy. He slips a phone from his pocket – no signal – buries it once more. He looks over his shoulders, to the way he came, to where the others are waiting for him.

They are waiting for him.

But they are far away, not buried in this deep place from which the world has fled. Behind him, and he glances once more, somehow hoping this will encourage him: his escape. His gaze returning to that which lies ahead, where the darkness musters.

Here is the bottom of this foul crater, a place which sunlight has not graced for decades, tumbling slopes of rock and root converging at this yawning crevasse. Not a rabbit den: Too large are the claw marks at its mouth, and from no rabbit comes the slime that oozes from unseen burrows.

At first the sounds are too faint to hear above the rain and the drumming of his own heartbeat, but slowly, unmistakably, they grow. From the staring darkness comes slithering.

His breath comes shallow now. He slips his backpack from his shoulder and pulls it open, revealing the frozen chicken, bought from a corner shop from what seemed like an eternity ago. That slithering comes faster now, speeding through unseen tunnels far below, and with hands that cannot help but shake he tears open his bait.

Silence: he waits, breath frozen.

From the pit comes flesh, pink-white and glistening under a layer of mucus, a huge, writhing monster with grasping hands and snapping mouths – eyes that could not see bulge from lumps of bubbling fat as the mass haves across the clearing at him.

He lurches backwards, flinging the chicken ahead of him in desperation – snatching his bag in a panic, thorns reaching up to tangle him, mud clinging to his feet, he flees, cold terror snapping at his heels. Hands pull at the roots of lifeless trees – he lifts himself out from the pit below and scrambles through a veil of bushes. He does not look back, does not see the thrashing horror retreat into caverns unknown.

And as he clambers out into the open, now that he has burst into the safe world beyond, fear drains away – he sees his friends, waiting, and already the crawling mass at the bottom of the pit has fled his mind.

Just a mangy dog, he tells the others, already believing it himself. They laugh, none of them realizing the relief they feel.

But, lurking in unseen tunnels, hidden deep beneath that dead hollow, slathering mouths wait, ever hungry.

40 | Culture with Paul Berrington

At the Movies: Our Picks Wind River (2017): Taylor Sheridan’s scripts for Sicario and Hell or High Water have established him as the go to man for classic American drama, and with his directional debut he furthers this reputation, as Jeremy Renner and Elizabeth Olsen star in a chilly backwoods murder mystery for Fargo fans.

It (2017)

Director: Andy Muschietti

Starring: Jaeden Leiberher, Finn Wolfhand, Bill Skarsgård, and Sophia Lillis

3.5/5 Something lurks in the sewers of Derry, Maine, an ancient evil that preys upon your deepest phobias, capable of shapeshifting into the monster of your worst nightmares, rising every 27 years with a hunger for the small town’s children. So who’s going to fight this evil entity? The same kids It is trying to eat of course.

After the disappearance of his younger brother, Bill (Jaeden Leiberher) feels disconnected, his parent’s grief stricken, his own nightmares filled with visions of his dead sibling. As the school term ends, Bill and friends, foul-mouthed Richie (Finn Wolfhand), hypochondriac Eddie (Jack Dylan Grazer) and germophobe Stan (Wyatt Oleff), are, as usual, being harassed by local bully Henry Bowers (Nicholas Hamilton) and his gang. Meanwhile Bev (Sophia Lillis), abused at home and called a slut at school, Mike (Chosen Jacobs), a home schooled boy with a domineering father, and Ben (Jeremy Ray Taylor), a chubby kid who’d rather read books at the library than socialise, are all connected by personal conflict. Forming what they call the ‘Losers Club’, Bill and his friends discover they’re all being haunted by the same entity, which appears in different forms to each child, but also takes the guise of an evil clown named Pennywise (Bill Skarsgård). As more children disappear, the Losers Club know there’s only one way they’ll survive, and that’s to enter the sewers in which It hides, and destroy it before it destroys them.

6 Days (2017): Kiwi director Toa Fraser’s international breakthrough matches action with brains, as it chronicles the response by SAS soldiers to 1980 hostage crisis at the Iranian Embassy in London.

Mother (2017): Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, Requiem for a Dream) is no stranger to controversy, and his latest starring new bae Jennifer Lawrence has attracted some ridiculous commentary. A stranger knocks on a married couple’s door one night and things get crazy – sounds familiar right?

Except here things get really crazy.

Logan Lucky (2017): Steven Soderbergh’s Ocean series reinvented the heist movie, employing big name stars, nifty editing, and some good gags and great set pieces. This return to the genre does the same, yet this time around the setting is the Charlotte Motor Speedway, Channing Tatum and Daniel Craig star.

Classic Film:

Dazed and confused (1993)

There’s been so much hype surrounding It, which has been in development since 2009, and has survived directional changes and several actors being attached to the It/Pennywise role. So can it live up to the excitement, mainly from Stephen King fans, and is it scary? While this isn’t the best adaption of the author’s work, It certainly captures King’s alternate reality, a setting that seems like everyday life, but has lurking beneath, and underbelly of evil energy. While this never matches the vision of Kurbrick or De Palma, it plays like a fanboy’s dream, classic heavy metal on the soundtrack, and trendy retroism in the frame.

It’s the last day of school at Lee High in Austin, Texas, and that means everybody’s celebrating in their own way, if you’re a senior you might be ‘hazing’ freshman, if you’re a stoner you’ll be getting high, no matter who you are you’ll being loitering around the Emporium diner waiting for something to happen.

Despite good performances throughout, particularly Sophia Lillis, who makes the most of her back story, and Bill Skarsgård, whose Pennywise is a truly frightening creation, the storytelling feels a little clumsy. Yet in terms of frights, It delivers enough jump scares to spill your popcorn, alongside a smorgasbord of terrifying images that are likely to fill your own nightmares for some time to come.

Richard Linklater’s brilliant coming-of-age dramedy is both hilarious and beautifully poetic, his characters, from geek to jock, are so richly observed you’ll be comparing them to people at school the whole way through. A true classic that stands the test of time easily.

Culture with Paul Berrington | 41

TV Streaming: Top of the lake – China girl While this second series of Jane Campion’s crime drama Top of the Lake doesn’t quite match the exceptional first series, it’s still a compellingly original mystery that’s miles away from the predictability of most shows within this genre.

Set four years after the events in Season 1, Detective Robin Griffin (Elizabeth Moss) suffering from PTSD, and slowly recovering from her experiences in New Zealand, takes on the case of a dead prostitute named Cinnamon, whose body has washed up in a suitcase on Bondi Beach in Sydney. Desperate to get back to work, Robin alongside Constable Miranda Hilmarson (Game of Thrones’ Gwendoline Christie), delves into an increasingly bizarre case.

Adding to this her daughter, now 17, who she’s never known, has written to her, unhappy at home and engaged to a 41-year-old man. As the two plot lines become entangled, Robin’s past starts to interfere with her life, bringing her closer to her daughter, but also deeper into the mystery surrounding Cinnamon’s disappearance.

This all leads to a frightening final act, in which Robin must not only solve the murder, but also save her daughter’s life.

Much like the first series, Campion seems more interested in the way human emotions and relationships function within this setting,

the logic of the investigation giving way to and exploration of her eccentric characters.

While China Girl never matches the creepy atmosphere of the first series, mostly due to the change in setting, this is still outstanding television. Eschewing formula for something far more interesting, Campion has created a mystery that holds its secrets until the final moments.

Music: Our Recommendations

Jet Jaguar – Grounded (Datadoor Records)

Felix the Thyrd – 808s and Heartstrings (Self Released)

The War on Drugs – A Deeper Understanding (Atlantic)

Michael Upton, aka Jet Jaguar, has been releasing music since the 90s, and with this his fifth longplayer, continues to explore the ins and outs of chilled electronica. Always dreamy, yet also slightly awkward, Jet Jaguar’s music blends found sound, blissful pads, and intricate drum programming, into something that’s almost folksy. Beautifully constructed yet constantly demanding of your attention, grounded exists outside any current trends, refusing to follow the pack yet somehow timelessly elegant. It’s inspiring stuff from a producer who won’t ever break into the big time, but is surely one of New Zealand’s finest producers of the last two decades.

Clearly influenced by Kanye West, Auckland-based Zimbabwean-born Felix the Thyrd has concentrated on the amazing music, not the douchebag behind it. Although this new EP uses trap as its rhythmic backing, it is thankfully a lot deeper than most club servings of the genre, and for the most parts shows a young man expressing life in a sincere and often humorous way. Not afraid to broaden his musical scope, Felix’s songwriting is certainly a strength, alongside his precise production. 808s and Heartstrings showcases an act that can likely break through into the international market.

Often quoted as the millennials version of Bruce Springsteen, there’s no doubting that The War on Drugs music has an element of classic blue collar rock to it, the richly observed lyrics holding a potent realism. Yet unlike much of the 80s Americana the band are often compared to, Adam Granduciel’s group have that modern production edge, and with this fourth album have produced arguably this most complete work yet.

A Deeper Understanding suggests that chief songwriter Granduciel is more comfortable with his talents than ever, delivering an album that’s the equal of the legends his band are compared with.

42 | Column

Bitchin’ Kitchen with Hannah Colenbrander

Creamy herbed chicken with spinach spaghetti

Ingredients:

Have you ever loved a dish so much that you eat until you think you might vom? I have, and this is it. This is the meal I beg mum to cook when I got back home on the break, a childhood favourite that I am very very pleased to share.

1 teaspoon cracked black peppercorns

Method: Combine chicken, paprika and peppercorns in bowl, stand 20 minutes.

Blend or process cheeses, water, stock cube and herbs until almost smooth. Melt butter in pan, add chicken mixture, cook, stirring, over high heat until well browned.

Add cheese mixture, bring to boil, simmer, uncovered, for 5 minutes. Add pasta to large pan of boiling water, boil, uncovered, until just tender and then drain. Serve pasta with creamy chicken.

2 chicken breast fillets, sliced 1 1/2 tablespoons paprika

175g packet cream cheese 1/5 cup grated fresh Parmesan cheese (or regular cheese) 1/2 cup water 1 small chicken stock cube, crumbled 1 tbsp chopped fresh basil 1 tbsp chopped fresh parsley 1 tbsp chopped fresh mint 40g butter 500g spinach spaghetti pasta

Booked In: Chapter Eleven: Truth is stranger than fiction With only 12 short issues in one short year, it would be impractical for me to try cover every aspect of the broad, many-faceted topic of books. It’s like I’ve said before: a book is just some pages bound together. What goes on those pages could be anything. As far as genres go, I haven’t even touched on romance, historical fiction, horror, or mystery. I could discuss bestsellers, libraries, or the fact that there’s a word in Japanese, tsundoku, to describe the act of continually buying books and never reading them. Not that I… have any experience with that. At all.

I also haven’t touched on the flipside of all things fiction—that is, nonfiction. Which, by definition, is everything that isn’t fiction.

Cookbooks, history books, textbooks, dictionaries, encyclopaedias.

None of them are fiction, therefore they’re nonfiction!

I’d never really considered myself a big reader of nonfiction, not even (auto)biographies and memoirs. I guess I’m still not. This year I’ve read two and a half autobiographical novels, which is at least one and a half more than every other year. Because real life is kinda boring, right? Why would I want to read about that? It could never be presented with the same brio or intricacy as a work of fiction, carefully orchestrated to grab and hold your attention. And there’s definitely no dragons or magic sword fights or inter-dimensional exploration. But sometimes, truth really is stranger than fiction, “because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t,” so said Mark Twain.

I suppose part of me naively thought that it was a bit egotistical to write about oneself—and maybe it is, in some cases more than others (cough most YouTuber books cough). Mostly, though, the

desire to write a memoir or autobiography is the desire to tell a story, as it is with the desire to write a work of fiction. So they’re really just as egotistical as each other.

But there is something deliciously satisfying in writing about yourself. In serialising your life into something consumable—which life, in the moment that you’re living it, usually is not. It’s easier to read about someone going through something than to go through that something yourself. And, again, it’s more satisfying, perhaps out of unavoidable schadenfreude, (everyone loves a tragedy,) or out of the subconscious knowledge that the writer made it to the end of their tale, physically and mentally intact enough to sit down and write. That’s a marked difference between fiction and memoir.

In a memoir or autobiography, you know that the main character will overcome the crippling poverty, physical illness, 10-foot bullies or whatever other adversity faces them, because the boundtogether pages in your hands are proof. Or, you know, the words on the screen of your Amazon Kindle E-reader (not sponsored).

(Yet).

From a slightly less sentimental angle, there is, obviously, a lot to be learned from reading the true stories of others. Those who are successful, and those who are not. Learn from their mistakes, learn from their triumphs. Vicariously experience things that you might never experience yourself, like the thrill of competing as an international-level athlete, or of standing on stage playing music for the thousands. Okay, getting sentimental again—I have a pretty severe sentimental streak, which is really the sort of thing you learn about yourself when you write an opinion column. Oh, there you go—a vicarious lesson, free of charge! You’re welcome.

Review

CHECK OUT MASSIVE'S BRAND NEW WEBSITE!

Spotlight – Daniel Voss

www.massivemagazine. org.nz You can now read the magazine on

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Answers: 1. Candace’s hair colour 2. Ferb’s helmet 3. Candace’s top colour 4. Phineas’ eye colour 5. The weather 6. Ferb’s pants colour 7.

Tree grass colour 8. Crane floor 9. Candace’s belt colour

Spot the difference 7 2 6

8

8

9

5 8

1 7

1

2 9

4

2

8

4

7

6 8

3

2

1

2

3

3

7

9

3

4

1 6

9

2

7

8

1

4 2

6

5

1

6 9

5

2

3

1

2 8

6 3

8

9

9

2

5

1

7

2

3 3

Easy

9

5

8

Medium

Sudoku

Puzzles 44 | Puzzles

homegrown giveaway

Puzzles | 45

me to do 3 double

Massive is the student magazine for all Massey University students. This year we need even more student contributors to fill our pages.

If you would like to contribute in any form, please do get in touch. We’re keen as. editor@mawsa.org.nz massive@mawsa.org.nz

46 | Events

Manawatū Events

September 24 – October 9

Friday, September 21

Saturday, September 30

The Royal Rumble – Open Mic Comedy Night

Chinese Moon Cake Festival

The Royal, 44 Ranitikei Street Palmerston North, $5

Tasty Restaurant, 700 Main street, Palmerston North, 6pm, $21

OK, you’re in uni. Soon enough you’re gonna be old and have kids and it’s gonna be a great time. However, you need to prepare now.

What better way to prepare than going to a comedy show and stealing all those jokes to tell your kids? Forget dad jokes, your jokes will actually be hilarious and your kids will wanna be seen with you, even in public! So do yourself a favour and go see the show.

Did you know that the moon is drifting away from the earth every year? Show your appreciation for the moon by attending the moon festival. It’s actually a festival celebrating moon cakes and Chinese culture, which is awesome. There will be a buffet and yum cha.

Moon cakes are so good, like I could eat them all day good. The red bean one is the best. It’s sweet, like me obviously and delicious, also like me. So try them and eat all you can.

Monday, September 25 – October 9 Weber Bros Circus Funtime Carnival, Railway Land Reserve, Church Street, Palmerston North, $45 OK I know you’ve seen It and you’re not keen on going to the circus where they may potentially be hundreds of clowns that are gonna kill you. But this circus is not about that life. This circus has bad ass performers that do tricks and stunts and we all wanna do! They bring excitement and adrenaline like a freaking human canon! Take your babe to the circus. No clowns were harmed in the making of the circus.

ADVERTISE YOUR EVENTS HERE! Sunday, October 1

Red Walk 2017 – Fundraising for Cure Kids

Hardie Street Reserve Palmerston North, 10am, $10–$15

Email the details to editor@massivemagazine.org.nz Wanna do something amazing that is good for your mind body and soul? Well why don’t you walk for Cure Kids? It’s an awesome walk to fund research into vital childhood illnesses and conditions that affect so many of our kiwi kids! Walk, run, crawl the 5km or 10km distance along the Mawawatu River Bridal Track. Do something worthwhile. I promise you this is something that is worthwhile.

Monday, September 25

Thursday, October 5

Brewery Tours

Manawatū vs Counties Manakau

Tui Brewery, State Highway 2, Mangatainoka, Tararua, $25

Central Energy Trust Arena, 61 Pascal St, Palmerston North, $20

This is your chance to see how the best beer in the whole entire New Zealand is made and you get a cheeky tasting as well. You’ll learn all about the history of the brew and see the iconic Tui Tower.

You might enjoy it so much that you change your degree to food science to become the best beer brewer in all the land… yeah right

Grab ya buckets, put em on your head, and cheer on the mighty Mawawatu Turbos! They’re facing Northland and they need you to bring the noise. Even if you don’t like rugby, come along and have a good time. Hey you might get on TV and be discovered by a model agency, who knows, but I know it’ll be a bloody good time.

ADVERTISE YOUR EVENTS HERE! Email the details to editor@massivemagazine.org.nz

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