Massive Magazine 2015 Volume 4 Issue 3

FREE MAGAZINE! No. 3 / 2015

1

BUY YOUR GRADUATION GIFTS HERE NZ MADE GIFTS

CLASS OF 2015 T-SHIRTS GRADUATION WEEK SPECIAL

ONLY

$15

SEE OUR ONLINE COLLECTION OF LOCALLY MADE JEWELLERY

VISIT OUR CAMPUS SHOPS Manawatu – Old Registry Building Wellington – Student Central Albany – Unimart & Pharmacy

ALUMNIONLINE.MASSEY.AC.NZ ALUMNISHOP.MASSEY.AC.NZ

The Americas U SA , C A N A DA , C E N T R A L

& SOUTH AMERICA

SALE ON NOW

SAVE UP TO 15% ON TOURS SAVE 10% ON WORKING HOLIDAYS LAYBY YOUR AMERICAS FLIGHT WITH A $99 DEPOSIT*

WORK USA Exclusive visas to work in the USA for NZ students & recent grads!

Plus heaps more deals!

It’s time to start your American adventure!

CUBA PLACE | COURTENAY PLACE | WILLIS ST CALL: 0508 STA TRAVEL EMAIL: QUOTE@STATRAVEL.CO.NZ

WIN

a Californian adventure for you and a mate!

Enter at statravel.co.nz

*T&CS APPLY, ASK IN-STORE FOR DETAILS

Call 0800 443 769 or visit www.iep.org.nz

02 Letters 03 Editorial 04 In short 07 Wellington local news 10 Manawatu local news 12 Auckland local news 15 Studying abroad 18 Bill will shut students up 21 Kingseat: Paranormal 23 Photo feature 29 Love me, Tinder 32 Reviews 36 Travel 38 Rep Chic 39 Food blog 41 Uni Mum 42 Ask Guru 44 Expressive arts 47 Puzzle time 48 Contact us

Letters to the editor Dear editor, I’m writing in response to the ‘Massive In Short’ article by Kehlsi Ramsay in Massive No.2, 2015.

While Massey University Students Association (MUSA) agrees with some of Kehlsi’s points, we felt there was need for clarification.

There is a distinct difference between MUSA and Massey University. MUSA is an independent organisation that acts in the interest of its members – students enrolled at Massey University.

On the Manawatu Campus, Massey University’s Student Life/ Events team delivered a fun, social, alcohol-free series of events in the week before lectures began. This year, events included an amazing race, Guinness World Record at the Lido, free concert on concourse, and an outdoor movie night on the oval. While these events are primarily aimed at Halls of Residence students, many are open for any student to attend, and MUSA was happy to collaborate with Massey University on some of these events.

As Kehlsi indicated, MUSA events were largely, but not exclusively, centred around an R18 venue. MUSA disputes the assertion that it encourages binge drinking, and its actions suggest the opposite is true. MUSA has a team of volunteers at these R18 events who provide food, water, extra supervision, and rides home. By using a licenced venue, MUSA ensures that all the requirements around the provison of alcohol are handled by an experienced and legally approved provider. MUSA contends that education and expert management are the key to safe consumption of alcohol, whereas prohibition has been unsuccessful.

2

Having attended many and various orientation events, my personal experience is that in the Manawatu, excessive drinking at official O-week events has greatly reduced.

MUSA is soon to begin planning its programme of events celebrating the return of students in 2016, and we invite all students to contact us, with input and suggestions.

Yours truly, Craig Black General Manager MUSA Dear editor, After having to spend the last week writing my research proposal in the library at the Wellington campus, it has come to my attention that many of the students here lack the knowledge of library culture and etiquette. Never have I been to a library in my life where it is okay to play music while working, talk in large groups, laugh, and obnoxiously talk while other people are trying to silently study. I feel like this is an issue that needs to be seriously discussed.

We are very lucky that we have the facilities at uni to accommodate many different types of learning strategies. All art and design blocks provide great spaces for group learning, where people can talk and work on group projects.

It seems to me that some of the students here need to be re-educated on library etiquette; or alternatively, silent spaces need to be better signposted as there is no one singular space where you can work without having to hear about what Jenny from the block got up to in the weekend.

The library should be a place of study, silence, and concentration.

Not a place for gossip and obnoxious

activities.

Is there a current etiquette or does one need to be established?

Regards, Pipe down Dear editor, Thank you for bringing the issue of low living costs to attention in your latest issue with the feature, ‘Living costs too high'. I can completely relate to this issue, and I know many other students who are also struggling financially. I hope that with more exposure the government will make a change.

Kind regards, Feeling povo

MASSIVE would love to hear from you. You can drop your letters into any students’ association office, or email them to editor@massivemagazine.org. nz . Alternatively, you could play Harry Potter: pretend the nearest bird you find is an owl, and ask it nicely to deliver your letter to us, down our imaginary chimney. Whatever method you choose, if your letter reaches us, and is published, you will win a bag of People’s coffee. To claim your prize, flick us an email.

Editorial Hey team, Welcome to the third issue of MASSIVE for the year. Also, welcome back to the second half of the first semester. I hope you all had an enjoyable break that included lots of sleep catch-up, minimal study and way too much food. I, for one, found myself in a chocolate coma for a solid few days, thanks to the good ol’ Easter Bunny! Oh, I also turned into a giant gorilla called Kim Kong, smashed my way through New York City, starred in a feature film, and had my picture drawn to be published in this magazine – but that’s my business.

I hope that most of you are well rested, with a clear mind, and all kinds of motivation for the next half of this semester! If you managed to nail the student life in the past six weeks, ka pai, keep it up, you trooper! If you found yourself drowning in coffee while pulling numerous all-nighters, think of this as your chance to start fresh; take those good intentions you had at the beginning of the year and put them into action, this time fo’ real though!

I just want to mention that it’s been grouse to see the interaction levels from you guys increasing as we go through 2015. I have valued all the feedback so far, and have taken it on board to improve the magazine for you.

An article I had a lot of feedback on from last month’s magazine, was Kehlsi Ramsay’s article, ‘Living costs too high’. So many students talked to me about how much they could relate to the article; so many students who are struggling to make ends meet while also trying to focus on their study. Some parents I talked to were also shocked, not realising the situation that even their own children

are currently forced to deal with. Some just assumed that the government was providing enough financial assistance for their young’uns. I hope articles like this will continue to cause discussion, and that, one day, the collective frustrated voice will be loud enough for the government to actually listen to, and make a change.

In this issue, we finish off our

series about the Kingseat Psychiatric Hospital, check out dating app, Tinder, explore the adventure of studying abroad, discuss how the Education Amendment Bill could suppress the student voice, and much more.

Enjoy the read, Kim Kong

3

In short Parking problems on campus Parking is “still an issue for the Albany campus,” according to 2015 Albany Students’ Association (ASA) president, Byron Brooks.

He said that while there had been the “usual start of semester parking issues...it has been getting better as semester progresses.” However, he added that “students are still finding it hard to get parks” and that it was an issue at the moment “because there has been a lot of change around campus recently.”

Brooks also said that “the number of people utilising the carpooling service has greatly increased from the same time last year.” He credited the current number of 360 carpool signups to the extended ride-share parking, and believed that “these numbers will increase as the semester progresses, as people see the merits of using carpooling to get to university.”

One student who wished to remain anonymous, said that “the parking problem has become a huge pain over the last year, there is simply not enough parking space for the amount of students who drive, not by a long shot,” adding that “some students don’t have the option of carpooling, and that’s why they don’t.”

While Brooks said he “would encourage students to use alternative forms of transport as it reduces the impact on parking, traffic, and the environment,” the student said that while they understood that “bussing is a great option and maybe the university wants us to use public transport more, but again, many students don’t have the option of doing so."

Campus security did not respond

4

to a request for interview on how parking infringements were dealt with, but the student said that “it’s extremely frustrating when you are late to class because there is no parking, and then if you are desperate and park on the grass or short stay spots (which are never full) you get a fine.”

“I think it’s the university’s responsibility to do something about it. Find a solution and offer us more easily accessible parking spots. For example, a lot of the short term parkings are always empty, as well as the ride share...I think a chunk of those parkings should be given back to students as regular parking.” The student added that “the problem lies mostly with the university and they need to come up with a plan to offer us more space to park which isn’t miles away from our classes.”

Brooks said that while he didn’t know what the university’s plans were to resolve the issue, he said the “ASA is entering talks with Massey to see what can be done to help students.”

Students declare war on parking-fee increase Students who drive to the Manawatu campus have reacted strongly against price-hikes on parking-fees that have been imposed by the university.

The hike means that parking that used to set students back $2 a day, will now rise to a maximum of $3 a day.

This rise has led to a flood of complaints to the Student Union and a torrent of angry emails to Massey University authorities. MUSA mediated between the university and upset students by organising a meeting between the two in the MUSA Lounge on the night of April Fools' Day.

16 peeved students and one peeved staff-member sat at varied points across the lounge, while a panel of representatives from the university and Horizons Regional Council sat together, sipping water nervously from Styrofoam cups. Keeping the peace between the two factions was MUSA president Linsey Higgins, and MUSA manager Craig Black.

Black urged calm in his opening address and nervously laughed as he called on students to please not set any of the assorted furniture on fire.

Luckily for Black, the ruffled gathering of students responded well to his humour and this set the tone for a generally cordial exchange of ideas.

Massey's case, as elucidated by campus registrar, Dr Sandi Shillington, was that the university had not increased costs “just for the fun of it".

PARKING SPECIAL! Instead, it was done, in part, to finance an upgrade of the parking facilities.

Shillington also underlined the uniquely free bus service that runs and how this service, as opposed to adding to the more than 2000 car-parks, was far more environmentally friendly.

Many of the assembled students took particular umbrage that their parking money was subsidising the bus-service that they didn’t use. One student wanted clear clarification over where exactly the parking-fee money went. A healthy chunk of the students were veterinarian students who pointed out that they had to exit the car-park multiple times to leave for off-site practical experience and could not practically use the bus-service with their heavy loads of equipment.

The meeting broke up after an hour of, in Dr Shillington’s words, “good comments” and “fair questions.”

The consultation process is ongoing and a final decision over car-parking policy will be announced by the end of April. Anyone with any concerns about any aspect of the price-rise or the car-parking facilities, is invited to email Facilities management director, Keith Harvey, at K.R.Harvey@ massey.ac.nz Parking m ania MAWSA president, Tom Pringle, says the current parking system on the Wellington campus is “outrageous”, with problems including limited carparks, and confusing carpark enforcement rules.

Although Pringle acknowledges that the campus is central, and therefore within walking distance for the majority of students, he says “there is currently very little parking on

the Wellington campus, which poses problems for students that live out of town, or for design students that need to drop off material for their projects.”

There are approximately 3,500 students on the Wellington campus.

Wellington Facilities Management said there are approximately 80 student parks in Tasman Street, King Street, and Buckle Street, included in this number is 46 semester parking holding parks.

Pay and display car parking is available to students for $1.00 per hour, or students can buy a parking permit for a whole semester for $120.

Students may also use available car parks in the staff parking areas on weekends and public holidays, and after 5:00 pm on a daily basis.

Although Pringle notes that Massey does promote Jayride, which is an external service that helps you find or share a ride in order to save cash and emissions every time you travel, he says this option may not be suitable for everyone.

As well as the need for more parks, Pringle says there has been a lot of discussion surrounding the blurred rules enforced by the parking company that Massey uses to police their car parks. Pringle has heard complaints about the confusion surrounding where you can and can’t park, and how difficult it is to appeal your parking fine.

Due to construction taking place on the Wellington campus, students have reported a lot of confusion about where it is ok to park, due to poor signage. This confusion can mean that students end up accidentally parking in the wrong place, and get fined.

“I have received a $50 fine whilst I was parking in the “student project loading zone”. The ticket stated I did not have a valid pass displayed in my

window... I didn’t know you had to pay for a loading zone, as there was no clear signage,” Pringle said.

The Massey University website states that failure to display an appropriate permit may result in the issuing of a $50.00 payment notice by CarePark Ltd. Vehicles found parked in the wrong area will be fined $30.00.

Repeat offenders may be clamped or towed and will then be required to pay outstanding payment notices/clamping fee or towage before the vehicle will be released. Pringle says this fine is unrealistic for students to afford. The Facilities operations manager was unavailable to comment.

Pringle hopes to work with Massey's Senior Leadership Team to achieve clearer signage, and more available parks for students and staff.

Win stuff!

This month we are giving away a double pass to the Auckland Zoo, two double passes to the Wellington Zoo, and two double passes to the Lido Aquatic Centre in Palmerston North.

Download the MASSIVE Magazine app to find out how to get in the draw to win.

You can download the app by searching ‘Massive Magazine’on Google Playstore, or the App Store.

5

Events feed WELLINGTON CAMPUS MAWSA Events Committee Events Day: 23.04.2015, 11:00 – 16:00, COCA Concourse, Pyramid if raning. With the formation of the new MAWSA Events Committee, this day will be promoting all the exciting events and plans they have for the rest of the year.

Careers workshop: Building a Powerful Design Portfolio: Friday 24.04.2015, 10:30-12:00. Join Steve O'Rourke from Ocular to discuss and unpack the power of your portfolio. Register on Massey CareerHub to secure a spot.

MAWSA clubs and Kokiri Ngatahi Quiz Night: Monday, 04.05.2014, 19:00-21:00 Fern and Flax Common Rooms. Cash prizes and fun spot prizes to be won! Grab a team and test your knowledge and skill. Food provided. $15 for earlybird tickets (Payment to be received before April 28.) $20 after Tuesday April 28.

You can register at the MAWSA office or email kokiringatahi@mawsa.org.nz MAWSA EVENTS White-Out Party: Friday 01.05.2015, venue and time to be confirmed.

Come dressed in all white everything! All students welcome. For more information, contact eventscoordinator@mawsa.org.nz.

BAWSSFIT Games: Friday June 12- Friday July 10. Power lifting, bodybuilding and crossfit for anyone who’s keen from beginners to competitors. Contact Lydia@bpmfitness.co.nz for more information.

Kokiri Ngatahi Kai and Korero: Wednesdays, 12:00-13:00, Whanau Room Massey Wellington Life Drawing Club: Every Thursday of the semester, 18:00-20:00 Check out www.facebook.com/groups/ MasseyWellingtonLifeDrawing for the location.

Anime and Manga Club: Meet Thursdays 17:00 in 5C12. Watch anime, discuss and play games.

Artist Run: Are you interested in being involved in an artist-run space? If so, email a.kininmonth@ massey.ac.nz for more details.

Free food: Wednesdays, Mawsa office. Kaibosh is a food redistribution charity that redistributes food that’s about to go off, to people who need it. All the food that we get is still usable and aimed at students in hardship. Come get it!

Toastmasters Breakfast Meeting: Wednesdays, 07:15 – 08:30 Student Lounge Saudi Club: Thursdays 19:30 – 21:30 Recreation Centre Sports Hall Massey Albany Football Federation (MAFF): Saturdays 14:30 – 16:30 Recreation Centre Sports Hall Massey University Chinese Basketball Association (MUCBA): Sundays 10:00 – 12:00 Recreation Centre Sports Hall Netball Club: Wednesdays, 17:00-18:00, Recreation Centre Sports Hall Rockclimbing Club: Meet Mondays at 6pm at the carpool car park. Then we head out to Extreme Edge in Panmure, arriving back on campus around 10:30pm. (ASA Van & carpool) We've negotiated a special discounted entry fee of $11 per session. For more info about the club contact James Speedy: mua.rockclimbing@ gmail.com SINZ Meeting: Thursday 23.04.2015, 17:00-19:30, www.facebook.com/ socialinnovationalbany for more details.

TSCF Meeting: Wednesdays, 12:00-13:00, AT5. We are Christians who hang out together on campus. Anyone who would like to find out about Jesus is welcome. We chat, pray, study the bible together, and do social things as well.

Chess Club: Tuesdays, 16:00-17:00, Village Campus (opposite Engineering reception) We are a group of students who get together to play social chess. Beginners or experts are welcome.

Contact Jordan.k.lewis@live.com for more information.

Rugby Club training: Thursdays, 17:00, QBE Stadium, Domain 2. Now is the best time to join the Wolves on the field. Both tag and touch teams have room for new or existing players, where you are guaranteed a large amount of field time. For more information check out www. facebook.com/groups/MasseyUniRugby/ .

Tennis Club: Wednesdays, 12:00-14:00, Tennis Northern, Oteha Valley Road Extension. Come play social tennis with the Tennis Club. $2 pay to play. Coaching available. Rain or shine, as there are indoor courts available. Contact Mua.tennis@ gmail.com for more information.

Ultimate Frisbee Club: Tuesdays, 17:00 – 19:00 Recreation Centre Sports Hall

Earth Day Farmers Market: 22.04.2015, 11:0014:00, Concourse, MU Sustainability Club and MUSA celebrate sustainable living, shopping and eating.

Bicycle Survey: 22.04.2014, 11:00-14:00, Roaming volunteers around Concourse gathering data on barriers and enablers to cycle use by students.

PN City Councillors in Conversation: 22.04.2015, 11:00-14:00 In MUSA marquee on Concourse. City councillors will answer questions about the annual plan process, how to make submissions and other city council workings.

Celebrating Muslim Culture: 29.04.2015, 11:00-14:00, on the Concourse and in the MUSA Lounge. Massey Muslim Society celebrates the variety of Muslim cultures and shares food, games, information with students and the wider public.

Sport Clubs, Cultural Associations & Societies Meeting 1: 04.05.2015, 16:00-17:00, MUSA Lounge. A chance for clubs, societies and cultural associations’ members to plan, discuss and coordinate events, the upcoming Clubs Day in July and other items of interest.

Sport Clubs, Cultural Associations & Societies Meeting 2: 05.05.2015, 18:30-19:30, MUSA Lounge. Alternative date, but same content as yesterday’s event.

MUSA AGM: 06.05.2015, 12:30-13:30, MUSA Lounge. The MUSA executive invites all students to its annual general meeting.

NZ Music Month: 13.05.2015, 11:00-14:00, MUSA Lounge. Radio Control hosts live music and has giveaways to celebrate NZ Music.

Clubs Council Meeting: 20.05.2015, time to be confirmed, MUSA Lounge. MUSA reports back about changes to parking fees, the new volunteer scheme, changes to clubs’ banking etc.

Volleyball Club: Sundays, 12:30 – 14:30 Recreation Centre Sports Hall Graduation Ceremonies: Tuesday 21.04.2015, 08:00 – Thursday 23.04.2015, 17:00

Keep an eye on the updated Massey University app to keep up with other events as they pop up.

Spirituality Week: Mon May 4 – Fri May 8.

6

MANAWATU CAMPUS

Swimming Club: Saturdays, 13:00-15:00 Regular swimming sessions: Learn to swim, enjoy swimming, and get better at swimming.

Lido Aquatic Centre. Contact muswimclub@ gmail.com for details.

AUCKLAND CAMPUS Badminton Club: Tuesdays, 17:30 – 19:30 Recreation Centre Sports Hall

Student Engagement Forum: 20.05.2015, 12:00-13:00, Student Lounge.

Wellington Local News

Even more events Wellington students can look forward to an exciting calendar of events this year and beyond, as MAWSA has recently formed an Events Committee, thanks to the initiative of the newly appointed MAWSA events coordinator, Holly Dodson.

Dodson decided at the end of 2014 that something needed to be done about the lack of social events organised by the university for students, so she took the matter into her own hands.

“I developed a proposal for a system to start organising events within Massey so we could have a better student culture,” Dodson said.

The events board is made up of eight enthusiastic students. With their creative juices flowing, the board realised that all of their ideas couldn’t be tackled by such a small team.

Their advertising attracted about 30 eager students who now make up the MAWSA Events Committee.

The large team hope to make an impact on Massey students’ social calendars, from this year, and beyond. Dodson says that having an official Events Committee enables the passionate team to organise quality events to create a better student

culture.

“All being full time students ourselves…we have a clear vision on what’s good for students and what most students will be interested in attending.

“When coming to university, most students have a picture in mind of what they think they’ll be experiencing. We want to make that picture a reality for all students. It’s going to improve our reputation and our culture as a whole,” Dodson says.

A whiteout party, open to all students, will kick off the committee’s events on Friday, May 1. Other exciting events in the pipeline include three balls: the design school ball on July 25, the Massey University ball for those who aren’t doing design degrees on July 24, and the first-year ball on July 28. All three balls will be held in the Events Centre above Macs Brew Bar on the waterfront. More details will be released soon.

As MAWSA and Massey are separate entities, funding for the events will not come from the university. Ticket sales and any fundraising done by the committee will fund the events. Although Dodson says any donations or sponsorship would be greatly appreciated, she says that for now the events will be done by the students, for the students.

“We’re not looking to make a profit on these events, only to improve the overall experience of life at university for the students.”

Space Between Brought to you by Massey University’s School of Design, a social enterprise for fashion, Space Between, is all about exploring alternatives to massproduced high-waste clothing, and creating ethical business opportunities for new designers.

Space Between has two distinct strands: Fundamentals and Fashion Lab. Fundamentals focuses on students designing limited edition collections, which are made locally, using unwanted corporate uniforms and other waste material.

The group were given lots of old New Zealand Post uniforms, which normally would’ve gone to the landfill, to upcycle.

Principal project investigator, Jennifer Whitty, said “to upcycle is to add value to an existing garment”.

The group are working on taking these worn uniforms and creating fashion garments. There will be a womenswear range created, made up of nine limited edition pieces, to be sold online.

The Fashion Lab involves students exploring new research strategies and business models that shift fashion towards zero waste. They use design to create unique minimal/zero-waste garments and explore different business models for the future of fashion.

7

Don’t let stop you FOR MORE INFORMATION:

National Influenza Specialist Group

0800 466at 863 Book your flu jab TXT FLU TO 515 Student Health now!

WWW.FIGHTFLU.CO.NZ

The influenza vaccine is a prescription medicine. Talk to your doctor about the benefits and possible risks or call 0800 IMMUNE. TAPS CH4221. INSIGHT 6475.

National Influenza Specialist Group

STUDENT

GYM

9

$

weekly

$15 to join 30 days notice to end Limited time only Valid for enrolled tertiary students  Work out with your mates  Free training programme  Start with a free week trial Building T32, 04 801 2545 Gate C, Massey Uni Wellington

8

Get immunised.

5

Wellington Local News Whitty discusses how fashion has become so disposable over the years, “almost like its fast food” and how clothing seems to have lost its value in society. She hopes that by documenting the whole process, and showing the intensive labour that goes into production, they will raise awareness of the value of clothing, and make society more conscious of their waste.

Space Between is a predominantly online project. Whitty says that “although there isn’t a massive budget, there are a lot of creative and intellectual ideas”.

There are currently about ten current and graduate fashion and textile students involved with the project, but Whitty says the project will be built up slowly as students taking a fashion paper next semester will also become involved.

This project was launched on Fashion Revolution Day, on April 16.

The day is a global movement that aims to raise issues of ethical labour.

For more information about upcoming events, email Jennifer Whitty on J.Whitty@massey.ac.nz OR check out Spacebetween.ac.nz.

Wellington campus left powerless The Wellington campus was partly closed on April 8 after a fuse blew, causing a power outage.

Campus registrar, Deanna Riach

sent out a building evacuation notice at around 10am on the morning of the 8th, requesting that all buildings affected by the power cut were evacuated for the rest of the day.

“The decision to order the partial closure was deemed necessary due to the safety and security risk posed by the power outage,” she said.

The affected buildings were Blocks four, five, six, seven, as well as the Library, Student Central, MAWSA office, Centre for Teaching and Learning, Student Health Centre, Tussock Café, PACE, T-block, and the prefab buildings.

Fortunately, the power outage occurred in the semester break, however most staff and some committed students were still affected.

Some staff were sent home, while others were temporarily relocated to unaffected areas of the university.

Low numbers at safety workshops Workshops organised by MAWSA that aimed to increase students’ safety on the Wellington campus received a low turn-out.

Student advocate, Sarah Miller, said that following an assault on campus last year, there have been a lot of concerns raised at the Class Advocate meetings surrounding students’ safety on and around the Wellington campus.

Responding to these concerns, Miller organised for Darcy from Protect Self Defence to lead a set of three self-defence workshops for free, for all students.

She chose to hold these workshops as “I wanted students to have the opportunity to learn useful skills, if they ever need to use them,

so that they feel safer on campus.”

Miller said the course was fantastic, with the most valuable parts for her being the mental skills, such as learning about instinct, and understanding the psychology of different types of predators and how to react to them.

Only two people turned up to the first workshop, and six to the second, which was merged into a double workshop.

Another event to help students feel safer was the talk given in Safety Week in March by the Sexual Abuse Prevention Network about how to be an ethical bystander. Ten people attended.

Although she advertised, Miller said weather and timing may be reasons as to why the turn-out was low, which she will consider when planning future events.

Miller has discussed with campus registrar, Deanna Riach, and campus operations manager, Amy Heise, about wanting to get a group of students together to think about ways to make the campus safer.

“We want students to discuss physical safety, online safety, as well as stuff around culture and education changes.”

The idea is to open it up for students to comment, with the potential for it to turn into a student project for spatial designers.

Students should keep an eye on the details about when student consultation is happening, to see how they can get involved. Miller also urges students to think about what they want to see to make the campus safer.

9

Manawatu Local News

This is Radio Control with Major Dave Major Dave, or David Stevens, is the manager of Radio Control - the student radio station whose music is heard right across the Manawatu region.

Recently he was good enough to show me around his lair, the Radio Control office located on campus.

“If it’s on ZM, it won’t be on our station”, David tells me as we sit comfortably on the lounge chairs. David’s declaration is a good summation of what Radio Control aims to be. Founded in 1983 by students, Radio Control plays exclusively alternative and up-and-coming music.

Coaxed into a mission statement, David comes out with the bold: “Represent the unrepresented.”

With most of their funding coming from the good people at New Zealand on Air, they are contractually obliged to have at least thirty percent of their music coming from local and national artists. David believes that they go further, estimating that the percentage of homegrown music would be closer to fifty percent. These values have their advantages. Notably, Radio Control was playing Benny Tipene’s music before most of New Zealand had heard a single chord.

David is deeply passionate about music and served his apprenticeship

10

at the station by volunteering as a 15-year-old, before becoming manager at 21 years old. He has been in and around bands since he was thirteen and currently works on a hip-hop/electronica solo-project, Slower Motion. On top of this, David co-runs a musical venue, Great Job, which hosts various New Zealand artists in an attempt to keep the music scene in Palmy alive and vibrant.

Radio Control currently has around 50 different volunteer DJs, and is always looking for more.

Being proudly independent, David believes Radio Control provides the perfect platform for people new to broadcasting, with mistakes unlikely to lead to any form of scolding from management.

If you’re interested in securing yourself a slot on the station, don’t be afraid to pop in and see David in his office, located next to the Student Lounge on campus. If you’d like a sample of what Radio Control is all about, then tune in on 99.4 or alternatively on their website: http:// radiocontrol.org.nz/.

– Carwyn Walsh Healthy living on campus The gentle scent of sustainability turned many a nose on March 25 as the Sustainability Club held an Expo and Farmer’s Market on Massey Manawatu’s concourse.

Antonia McGhie, the president of the Sustainability Club, invited an ensemble of sustainable individuals onto campus to show off the many benefits of healthy and renewable living to students and staff.

The guests set up stalls across

the concourse to sell their wares or hand out tips and ideas about how to become more sustainable in your everyday life.

Mathew Harding, an Ag Commerce student who was hawking red kumara off the back of his Hilux.

Like him, Mathew’s kumara came all the way from Dargaville, and all his earnings were going towards the heavy expense of diesel incurred in travelling from the far-North.

Breadloafer, a local business on Rangitikei Street, filled the air with the always pleasant musk of freshlybaked and healthy-option bread and delicacies.

Two sustainable organisations, Transition Fielding and Recap, had an educational stall spreading the benefits of no-dig gardens. They also dispensed free seeds and were only too happy to give me some very sound advice on good composting methods.

Massey Palmerston North’s Sustainability Club has been around since early 2014 and Antonia, a second-year Zoology student and close friend of the Earth, stated that its mission is to “promote and encourage sustainable behaviours among the university community”.

Antonia and her flatmate, Philippa Cherrill, believe that students can engage in all sorts of sustainable behaviour. They, for instance, recycle the majority of their household rubbish and have started collecting a jar of teabags for a planned compost-heap.

Although relatively young, the club already has 110 members, an active Facebook page and is planning all manner of sustainable events for 2015 – Carwyn Walsh

F-word heard on concourse On Wednesday March 11, anyone walking through the concourse were shocked to hear the F-word repeated again and again.

This F-word, however, was not the more commonly known profanity.

Still, though, the F-word heard was one that is no less controversial or, in some cases, feared. That’s because this F-word was feminism.

Some passers-by that heard the amplified F-word spoken and feared a frenzied, bra-burning, hairy-legged mob bent on Women’s Liberation, were pleasantly surprised that this was not the case. Woman’s Liberation was certainly on the menu but instead it was spoken about pleasantly by four conversationally-gifted panellists cosily ensconced on chairs.

The panellists were Labour Party candidate, mother-of-three and Senior Lecturer in Taxation Deborah Russell; Palmerston North mayoral candidate and Radio Control disc-jockey Abi Symes; senior lecturer on Human Development and National Women’s vice president of the Tertiary Education Union, Cat Pausè; and Craig Black, the general manager of MUSA. In the days leading up to the event, many students discovered statements scrawled across campus in chalk. These statements were relevant to the conversation held and

were uttered by popular figures such as Princess Diana, Madonna, Iggy Pop, Virginia Woolf, and Emma Watson.

A healthy crowd of around fifty people gathered and heard each panellist discussing their own journey into feminism and what it meant for them to be a feminist in the 21st Century. Key issues discussed were pay-equity, promoting diversity, the demonetisation of women and feminism, the relevance of feminism today and rape culture in society.

Many may think the battle for women’s rights is an old one that has been won. This point was dismissed by all panellists as they pointed out, time and again, how misogyny and inequality still exists, in both overt and covert ways.

One point made that showed this was when Cat pointed out the alarming statistic that there are more men named Peter who head corporations in the United States than there are women in the same role.

Members of the crowd participated in the conversation as well. The entire event lasted a little over thirty minutes, but in that time it succeeded in its aim of broadening the perceptions of all those who hung around to listen.

– Carwyn Walsh Hear, hear!

It’s King Lear If Shakespeare was still alive, and for some unknown reason, happened to live in Palmerston North, he would’ve appreciated the excellent staging of his play, King Lear, as seen in the Victoria Esplanade Gardens across two weeks in March.

The staging of the play was kindly funded by Massey University and

directed by Massey’s visiting artist, Jamie Dörner. It also featured many students from both Massey and UCOL in Palmerston North.

Senior Tutor of English and Media at Massey, Joy Green, was the publicist for this year’s event and spoke with me just prior to the second week of plays.

Shakespeare’s plays, Green explained, have been performed many times. Thus, in keeping them fresh, this year’s 13th Annual Shakespeare in the Park had an eccentric interpretation inspired by carnival freak-shows. Being in a park gave the play a further uniqueness in allowing non-conventional and large spaces to be utilized.

I went along for a gander myself. The approximately 200 strong audience sat on a mix of seats, blankets and cushions. I sat against the trunk of a tree next to a man wearing Lycra biking pants for no apparent reason.

The performance was worth every cent of the koha admission.

The band sitting to the right of stage set the perfect mood for the play, the props and customs were a visual treat and the large troupe of thespians were all dripping in talent, and incredibly polished.

As the bulk of the cast and crew are volunteers, anyone interested in getting involved in next year’s production are welcomed with open arms. The Massey University Drama Society is a great place to meet fellow actors and, if you’re not an actor but are interested in gaining experience in stage-craft, prop and custom-design or lighting, they’re a great place to go to be pointed in the right direction.

– Carwyn Walsh

11

Auckland Local News

Clubs to get new funraising opportunity Clubs at Massey’s Auckland campus will have a new way of fundraising, with a clubs stall.

According to 2015 Albany Students’ Association (ASA) Recreation and Clubs Representative Michael Horrell, the inspiration behind the stall came after Horell was involved with clubs last year “who struggled to fund-raise for events and other club activities.”

“The inspiration behind the stall was to facilitate an easier way to raise money and promote the clubs.”

While Horrell was working with the university “to find the best way” of implementing the stall, students could soon expect trial runs “to gauge student and club interest.”

“We’ve been asked to test the success of the solution before any further commitment can be made.

In order to do this we need to find a mobile caravan, camper or minibus that would fit the context. The permanent solution we are looking into is on a made to order basis and we are unable to rent these in a ‘try-beforeyou-buy’ scenario. The challenge we have now is finding (or building) a temporary stall.”

However, Horell said that he

12

would like the final stall to be “a mobile self-contained unit containing much of the facilities a mobile kitchen caravan would have.” He added that clubs would be able to book out the stall and use it to sell items such as “food, clothing and other market style items using a mobile Eftpos machine.”

Horell also said that as the stall was intended to be “multipurpose,” they had considered opportunities to utilize it at off-campus events, such as markets, and were “looking into ways for it to be possible.”

He added that the stall would “absolutely” be available for things other than club fundraising.

“We are trying to keep the possibilities very open in the hope that it can be used for more innovative ideas that we haven’t thought of.”

– Julia Braybrook

Changes proposed at Annual General Meeting This year will see changes made to th e Albany Students’ Association (ASA), according to 2015 Education vice-president Georgia Breckell.

At the ASA Special General Meeting on March 18, Breckell said that while they weren’t proposing any constitutional changes right now, “it’s sort of just advance warning that over the course of this year the ASA will

aim to redesign the constitution.”

She added that “this has just occurred because over the last few years changes have been made to the constitution to suit certain needs at the time and it’s become a bit contradictory in places and so we’re just going to clean it up...make it a much clearer and concise document.”

The redesigned constitution would be posted on the ASA’s website once it was completed, with ASA members able to review and comment on the changes. It was anticipated that the new constititution would be voted on at the next Annual General Meeting on July 22.

A new Clubs Code of Conduct was also proposed at the Special General Meeting, by 2014 Recreation and Clubs Representative Michael Horrell.

According to Horrell, the proposed Code of Conduct gave students and clubs “more of an opportunity to gather feedback.” He said that “the reason that we wanted to put [the Code of Conduct] in is because when it comes to a complaints process we don’t have a way of dealing with those even if it is a complaint against a club, we can’t go through the normal Massey procedures...so this is kind of a way of us being able to deal with it.”

The Code of Conduct was designed so that there was “an emphasis on the club actually policing themselves,” with consequences for unresolved complaints including the club not being able to “access the club grants scheme unless under exceptional circumstances.”

– Julia Braybrook

Auckland alight for Run The Night On Friday March 27, everything within a five kilometre radius of the Auckland Domain was alight as Run The Night took place. If you happened to miss the mass migration of neon clad people or the record breaking amount of selfies being taken, then you at least would have heard Missy Elliot’s ‘Get Your Freak On’ blasting through the central city, and have spotted the sky spotlights that turned humble Grafton into Gotham City. Even the trees, which were fitted with world class lights, glowed with as much as exuberance as the runners.

With as many spectators in the domain as runners, it was an event not to be missed. Runners, joggers and loafers alike donned anything they could get their hands on that

was bright, neon or blinking including the neon go-go dancers that lined the competitor’s chute. Among the wildest and wackiest runners present was a Spiderman, an Easter bunny and several forms of fruit, as well as an enthusiastic young man wearing spring-loaded shoes that he had fitted with custom LED lights. Even two neon-equipped bicycles made it in and countless selfie sticks, most of which had been neonised, so as not to interfere with the integrity of the event.

With a background of pumping club music voted in by runners in advance, it wasn’t difficult to see why everybody present was so animated.

A countdown was enthusiastically led by radio station ZM after which around 400 eager individuals and teams danced around the five kilometre track and into a DJ fed mosh pit.

The only disappointment of the night was the large amount of people who descended on the domain in order to engage with, but run independently of, the race.

Runners came down in their sweats and sneakers to run alongside the official chute, bathed in the glow of the events’ lighting without wearing a Run The Night bib or having paid to be in the event itself. Stealing exercise….

really?All in all, everyone looked like they were having a fantastic time, and the event raged into the night before everybody well and truly ran the night and had to call it one.

– Taryn Dryfhout ASA EXECUTIVE GROWS The Albany Student’s Association (ASA) by-election has seen two new members elected. Roneel Karthik is the new international students’ representative, and Christian Balachandran is the newly-elected men’s welfare representative.

While Karthik did not return a request for interview, Balachandran said he hoped to “learn more about welfare advocacy and how I can contribute and effectively assist and help the male students in various welfare issues from financial, emotional, physical or mental issue.”

2015 ASA president, Byron Brooks, said “it has been great to welcome Roneel and Christian onto the executive and we look forward to working with them.” He said that while they were looking at co-opting students to fill the remaining positions on the executive team, there would not be another election for these roles.

ALBANY ROOMS TO RENT From just $175 per week • Fully furnished townhouses • Easy walk to Massey campus • Free carparking

• Ultra fast broadband • Free laundry • Security

Call/Text Sandy 021740172

13

14

Studying abroad: is it worth it?

Julia Braybrook discusses if the experience of studying abroad is all it’s hyped up to be.

They’re New Zealand’s fifth most valuable import, worth an estimated $2.6 billion to the economy. It seems to be their year, with over 73,000 international students enrolled in tertiary institutions in 2015. But with promises of increased employability, job opportunities, and travel perks, do the expectations live up to the reality?

Evidence suggests it does. All those interviewed, from England to Papua New Guinea, said that studying abroad was worth it.

Louise Liquorice, who completed a year-long exchange at Massey University’s Wellington campus in 2014, said that “the experience of an exchange is invaluable. It has undoubtedly shaped me. Not only does it look good for potential employers and the likes, but it has helped fuel my desire to get out there and see the world!”

Spencer Secretario, who is currently on a two-year exchange with an NZ Aid Scholarship, said that “studying in the foreign land gives me a different perspective of my chosen field. It widens my horizons and connections to like-minded people. The training and education that I will get from overseas education will help to boost my career and help my country later on.”

He added that he chose to do an exchange with Massey University, as it was “one of the leading agricultural

universities in the world.”

“To be trained and educated from this university means having competence to deal with specific agricultural issues in my home country, the Philippines.”

Biruta Rei Songan, who is currently on an 18-month exchange at the Manawatu campus on an NZ Aid Scholarship, said that she believed she had higher changes of being employed internationally “where I can fully utilize my knowledge and skills.”

“There are a lot of areas where I can contribute to the development of my country and especially to help my fellow country women to step up and use the potential that is hidden in them.”

Songan said that she “definitely expected that study demands would be very high as I am doing a Postgraduate programme, and yes it is...I would say my learning capacity has really changed and I'm becoming better academically.”

Louise Liquorice said that while she had no strong expectations, “the reality of the experience was absolutely amazing.”

“I was able to engage in different types of studies, I got a part time job at Te Papa, and I was able to travel about quite a lot.”

She said that while Massey and her home university, the University of Essex, differed quite a lot it was “hard

to pinpoint exactly why.”

“I suppose it differs with the Wellington campus being centrally located within the city, whereas my home university is a campus based community. Also, Massey offered a lot of papers that my university does not, so I really enjoyed being able to take applied arts and journalism.”

Different studying experiences was also something Jay Vardhan Sharan found when he did a year-long exchange as a postgraduate student.

Originally from New Delhi, India he said “we had 56 papers in three years, here I just had four papers in a year so it wasn’t very tough, in fact it was very practical and enjoyable experience.”

Biruta Rei Songan said that at her home university, Divine Word University in Madang Province, she did most of her undergraduate study “on what is called a flexible learning programme, since I decided to work and study.”

“Since it was a flexible programme, I had very limited time to do academic research, however [I related] most of my study to workplace practices and experiences...I find Massey’s academic standard is very high compared to my local university and yes, it is a great challenge for me.”

Spencer Secretario added that coming from the University of the Philippines, Los Banos, he dealt with “academic shock probably until the

15

end of the first semester. He said that the “academic system is very much different and you have to blend in. It is double adjustments for me as a post-graduate student and as an international student.”

“As a post-graduate student, I am expected to learn independently and be critical in our readings and write ups, especially referencing styles. We also need to upgrade our research and computer skills since most of the transactions are done online. As an international student, I have to adjust with the diverse cultural environment and erratic weather patterns. Likewise, I have to deal with homesickness, being away from the comforts of home.”

Jobs were another challenge faced by international students, with Secretario saying that he while he thought the online discussions were helpful, leaving him free to have a part-time job, he found he “cannot do so because even if we don’t meet regularly, the assignments are overwhelming and tasking.”

Sharan added that “the only major problem was to find a part-time job for international students on student visa.

I managed to find one, but I know my mates struggled to find [jobs] and they

were not happy about it.”

Sharan said that an exchange was “definitely worth it” as he “wanted to do my post-graduation from a world class university instead of one which is recognised only in India” and that he was “proud Massey came out to be the right and fruitful choice.” He added that an exchange was “a very good way to re-valuate yourself; I got an extra boost in my personality along with some other positive changes.”

Louise Liquorice said that “it is definitely worth going on an exchange, should the opportunity arise. You meet lots of people, see lots of places, and do things you’d probably never get the opportunity to at home.”

But for Massey students studying abroad, is it the same experience?

Chantal Braybrook, who is currently doing a semester long exchange at Aarhus University in Denmark, said that doing an exchange was something she wanted to do for as long as she could remember.

“Being my final year of studying, it was my last chance to do it. It is also the only type of opportunity where you are living elsewhere, with minimum responsibility, meaning you can really travel in a way that you won’t be able to do in any other time. Living in a

culture, rather than simply passing through it, means you become a lot more familiar with its mind-set and nuances. There’s nothing quite like it.”

Maryke Fouché, who is studying for a semester at King’s College in London, said that an exchange was “absolutely” worth it.

“You will get so much out of it.

It’s expensive, and it’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it.”

She added that “by doing an exchange I’ve been able to prove to myself that I can actually get on a plane, all by myself, and go live on the other side of the world for six months.”

“They have this TV ad here for a university somewhere and at the end this lady says, ‘the most important thing you’ll learn...is what you’re capable of’ and I feel like that sums up my experience. The biggest way that this will help me is that I know I’ve done it. I’ll remember the good times as well as the bad, but I’ll know that I’ve done it, and that I’m capable of doing something in the future.”

Both students found their host universities were more academicallyminded than the University of Auckland, where both were enrolled in back home. Fouché said that “there seems to be a stronger academic

“Living in a culture, rather than simply passing through it, means you become a lot more familiar with its mind-set and nuances.

There’s nothing quite like it.”

16

"But everyday something awesome happens to you or you see something amazing, or you have an amazing meal, or you have a conversation that makes you say ‘oh that’s why?'" culture here among the students.

They seem to take their studies more seriously than students in [New Zealand].” She also said that “the course is more dependent on the readings here than I’m used to at home. You need to have done the readings to be able to participate in discussions and to actually know what’s going on.” Chantal Braybrook added that “the expectations upon students differs in the sense that there is a greater emphasis on reading, and they teach the lectures on the assumption that you have done them.”

Cultural differences were among the challenges faced by both on their exchange, with Chantal saying that an exchange “broadens your mind as you begin to realise what is so normal for you and your culture, is not normal in other cultures.” Maryke added that “you wouldn’t think that there are that many differences between the [United Kingdom] and [New Zealand] but they definitely exist!”

“It took me a few weeks to figure out that when people ask me ‘you alright?’ they’re not asking because they think something is wrong, it’s just the UK equivalent of ‘how’s it going?’

I kept thinking, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Maryke added that she “tried to

keep an open mind to just see what happened,” she expected to make more friends and be more social, “but thinking back I’ve realised that full-time students at Auckland don’t really reach out to study abroad students either.”

“I’ve found that you really have to make an effort and put yourself out there and get involved with stuff to meet people and make friends...The thing as well, is that I’m here in the UK second semester, so permanent students have already been in the halls together for a semester and have already formed their own groups.”

She added that “I’ve made most of my friends in the group of study abroad students, I guess because we’re in the same boat, you know?

People are keen to go travelling together and hang out because I think we all feel a bit isolated at times."

She said that she couldn’t give a single experience as her most memorable. “The beauty of an exchange is that a bunch of times every week, you will ask yourself ‘why on earth am I doing this?’ But everyday something awesome happens to you or you see something amazing, or you have an amazing meal, or you have a conversation that makes you say ‘oh that’s why?"

However, she said that “I’ve

had so many wonderful travelling experiences, but even just wandering around London and getting to experience the city, seeing it during different seasons and at different times of day...When I walk to the tube station in the evenings on my way home, I cross the Thames and I have this amazing view of the London skyline, with Big Ben and the Eye and everything, and it’s the little things like that that really make it worthwhile.”

For Chantal, her most memorable experience came from having her first snowfall. “Living in Auckland, we never get snow, so waking up to snowfall was novel and really exciting."

Both said that it was worth going on an exchange while still at university, with Maryke saying that “an exchange of this kind is an opportunity exclusive to your university years – if you feel up to it, go for it because you won’t get this same opportunity again. That’s what pushed me the most to do an exchange – if not now, when?”

17

BILL WILL SHUT STUDE NTS UP

Beware, the Education Amendment Bill is coming to pass! Carwyn Walsh asks: is the student voice about to be silenced?

Think of the name Bill.

It possesses representation. a certain disarming and casual charm. A ASA president Byron Bro choice has been made by oks, says the its bearer to not Bill only benefits the go by the more businessuniversities and like and serious is unsure how it will William. affect students and staff.

Bill, unlike William, is a happy-goThe student president’s lucky sort who’s up for concerns all sorts of certainly weren’t heard tomfoolery. Nothing ser at the ious or untoward parliamentary Select Com has ever happened around mittee discussion a Bill. stage of the Bill. Des However, on the night pite united of February opposition from both ter 11, the student body was tiary and student introduced to unions at Select Commit another kind of Bill. tee, no-one in This Bill did not the Government seems to possess a great deal of have paid the charm. It didn’t slightest bit of attent inspire thoughts of end ion. less hijinks, There were a total of cream buns and hula-hoop over 400 separate s. submissions made agains This Bill is a very ser t the Bill. ious chap.

Admittedly, there were It may sound innocuous six submissions in enough, but favour.

Education Minister Hek ia Parata’s These numbers suggest Education Amendment Bil that either those l could make in favour were utterly dramatic and far-reach spell-binding and ing changes to masterful or, the more the power of the studen likely scenario, t voice and how that the government suff University Councils are ered from a truly composed. awful case of selective Previously, University hearing.

Councils could The fifth National govern have up to 20 represent ment does have atives. Now, in history when it comes one sweeping move, the to this kind of government has carry-on. In 2010, ano passed legislation tha ther controversial t slashes this Bill, the Freedom of Ass number to a maximum of ociation Bill 12, four of which (which eliminated mandat will remain appointed ory Student Union by the government. membership), was passed Of greatest concern to despite over 4800 students is the submissions during the removal of mandatory, Select Committee democratically stage, 98 per cent of elected student repres which were opposed. entatives Apart from losing the on University Councils. mandatory student Students, voice on councils, the tertiary staff and the re are other, general staff of wider concerns about the universities had, under Bill. One such the law, a right centres on diversity. of representation on cou With the government ncils. This right trimming back numbers, has now been removed. will this affect the range of voices hea With this previously man rd on councils? datory right Simple arithmetic sugges now gone, have students ts it will. lost their Twenty voices, as oppose voice and their abilit d to 12, give a y to influence the greater chance for a bro direction of their own ader variety of universities? opinions and views to MUSA president Linsey be heard.

Higgins, fears Even if a University opt exactly this outcome. s to have the She says she is maximum of 12 represent “deeply concerned” abo atives, four of ut the Bill and the these will be governmen far-reaching powers it t representatives extends to the appointed by Tertiary government.

Education Minister Steven Joyce.

“Students and staff won ’t be heard at It’s safe to assume, tha the highest level of the t these ir Universities,” appointed representati she says. ves will toe the lin e of the government tha Higgin’s opposition to t appointed the Bill is them. echoed by her president ial colleagues Heather Warren, an org from Wellington and Auc aniser for kland. the Tertiary Education MAWSA president Tom Pri Union (TEU), ngle, says there goes further, blasting needs to be a student this aspect voice on councils. of the Bill, saying the He is also concerned abo government ut the drop representatives will be in seats on the counci little more ls and whether than a “whole pile of this will in turn affect Minister Joyce student protégés”.

18

ry loyalty who do not possess any heredita Minister Joyce - or Steve to his . ties ersi univ ar to particul ond friends - was good enough to resp This market-based reality dictates the hear d coul we so ests to requ cils, who that members of University Coun He government’s side of the debate. to be capable, need , ties ersi univ e driv of says there has been a great deal intelligent and reliable. Student been “confusion” in how the Bill has be all of representatives can and should presented to students. these things. will The voice of students and staff e Across Massey University’s thre he , cils Coun ty ersi Univ not be lost from business In . ents stud campuses are 20,000 complex says. “Universities are large, ble siza a us s make this , parlance people n organisations full of intelligent stakeholder in the future directio and ents stud r thei for hard working the ity, real In ty. ersi of our univ that stakeholders, and it is expected it government, with the huge funds will all, not if , ties ersi the most univ but ents stud only pumps into, not ’ views continue to have staff and students pretty important a is , ties ersi univ represented on their councils.” stakeholder as well. ed d This assurance from Joyce is echo In a perfect world, these two woul ey by his old sparring-partner, Mass rgy. exist in perfect syne e Maharey. longer University Vice-Chancellor Stev Now that the student voice is no ’s MUSA both to d cate Maharey has indi be to s need mandatory, every effort that nt’s Higgins and TEU’s Heather Warren made in ensuring that the governme , ents stud keep it is his intention to to. And to up d live are ions ctat expe the on academics and staff of universities students keep the student voice viable, Council of Massey University. bility in onsi resp y heav a y carr now es over However, despite these assuranc inue electing representatives that cont voice as the continued role of the student well as – erns conc r thei e voic to tion that on University Councils, the ques ent ronm envi r wide being aware of the y right remains: why remove the mandator in. with t exis ties universi first But it of student representatives in the The student voice has not died. e? is plac Bill t dmen Amen n atio Educ the will if are not “Intentions” and “expectations” s come e voic enacted and the student entions” ties. not enshrined in law so, if “int to be seen as relevant to universi is e ther ge, and “expectations” chan ate that our dict ers numb t grea Our if very little that students can do red. The concerns can never really be igno from stake their representatives are removed our puts Bill t dmen Amen n atio Educ councils. . tion posi us ario or voice in a prec the Above the semantic debate over good It is now only guaranteed by the e ther on, tati esen repr future of student ge. graces of those in char had. This is another, larger debate to be e made In his email reply, Steven Joyc ise: prec more g thin debate focuses on some government view the and he how r clea it 21st the definition of what exactly a . the role of University Councils century university is. l of a council or mode ce rnan gove “The Do they remain, as they have been efficiency, board’, he says, “is linked to cation historically, bastions of high-edu on.” tati esen repr y ator mand not today’s and even higher ideals? Or, in is The key word in this statement a mixture world, are they more complex – students as lve reso our If cy”. cien “effi ate of both public education and priv is to to remain on University Councils ? stry k we indu stic the is y ienc effic then , continue ersities Whether we like it or not, univ need to be brandishing. the are now big business. Whereas in We need our representatives to an to e labl past they were only avai onify efficiency in arguing our pers a much to elite few, they are now open to corner. As a student body we need domestic larger pool of individuals, both in our opposition y ienc effic t grea bit exhi a and foreign. This in turn creates e from to any effort at removing our voic acting great deal of competition in attr . cils Coun ty ersi Univ our students. death One thing that will ensure the Joyce’s s University Councils, in Steven suit hy Apat hy. apat is e voic of our ed to with d opinion, need to be “better plac Arme . ties governments and universi and govern well in a rapidly changing they ever what do can they hy, our apat ronment”. internationally-competitive envi fancy. ties ersi Univ do. y ainl cert they This, is If we are to remain a voice that well a of in are now no longer the doma need to be both we d, hear and vant rele use heeled few who attend simply beca loud and active. did. In their fathers and grandfathers Lying down will not do. well and ive etit comp es keeping themselv to able funded, universities need to be students appeal to the mass of potential

19

20

KINGSEAT: Paranormal In the final of a spooky three-part series, Taryn Dryfhout discusses the paranormal activity that has been reported on the grounds of the Kingseat Psychiatric Hospital.

With its ambiguous history and constant circulation in the rumour mill, Kingseat has become somewhat of an Area 51 for paranormal investigators and media alike. The creepy tales of events that allegedly took place at Kingseat have become so widespread that it’s hard to discern how much originates from true facts, and how much has been exaggerated and misrepresented through ‘Chinese whispers’. Their troubled history and reports of patient mistreatment has given Kingseat a dark, ominous reputation that has led to its title as the number one haunted location in New Zealand.

Since its closure, Kingseat has featured in television shows, radio shows, books, magazines, and newspapers, as well as developing a significant presence on internet forums and blogs. Most of the work done on Kingseat has been based on historical records and speculation, but there is a subsect of New Zealand who has investigated Kingseat according to another factor: the paranormal.

Several organisations with paranormal interests have lobbied to get inside Kingseat’s various buildings in order to run tests and try to conclude about the nature of Kingseat’s paranormal activity. Some of those investigations have produced unsettling results.

Ghost Hunt 2005 television show Ghost

Hunt produced an episode inside Kingseat, sending in a team including actor Michael Hallows and former What Now presenter Carolyn Taylor to search for ghosts, with interesting results. The on-site morgue featured as a focal point for the episode, as well as the buildings housed by Asylum and Spookers. Michael’s morgue tour included uncanny electromagnetic fluctuations and Carolyn described the former maximum security ward as glowing in ‘funny colourations’ before watching her equipment detect sudden and significant temperature drops. Results from this show were relatively inconclusive, with most of the evidence sourced from the experiences of the hosts. The most disturbing piece of evidence, perhaps, lies in a photo that was developed from the night, of eyes hovering over Carolyn, watching her in the dark.

The Edge Radio station The Edge has become a regular visitor to Kingseat, with hosts Stephanie Monks and Marty Hehewerth having been the most recent victims, subjected to a tearful, night time tour of Kingseat’s buildings as part of their Smash! show in February this year. Even young celebrities Jamie McDell and Massad have been sent into Kingseat in the name of entertainment, though it didn’t amount to much more than screaming and a few clumsy spills on

the floor of Spookers. Late last year radio and television presenter Mike Peru was sent by The Edge to spend the night in the infamous ‘nanny room’ inside Spookers (readers of part two ‘Kingseat: Present’ will recall the mattress which levitated off the bed and out the door). The Bachelor NZ host spent most of the night lying in the foetal position, shaking with fear and sobbing into his pillow – an action not entirely unwarranted. Video footage later released onto YouTube shows a white, cloudy shadow hovering above Mike as he attempts to sleep in New Zealand’s most haunted room.

Haunted Auckland The most prominent and, arguably the most reliable source on paranormal activity at Kingseat is Haunted Auckland - a paranormal investigation and research group who thrive to educate themselves and others on all things paranormal, which they call ‘The Unknown Science’.

Haunted Auckland is made up of passionate, paranormal enthusiasts who offer free services and support to anyone who feels they are experiencing paranormal activity in their life. It is through these services that Haunted Auckland adds to its own research and experience.

According to their philosophy, Haunted Auckland as a group does not subscribe to preconceptions

21

or established beliefs, but rather enters each and every place with an open mind, and with rational considerations in mind (one team member even has a scientific honours degree from Oxford).It is even their policy to attempt to attribute unusual activity to everyday, normal factors in the first instance, and to only label something as paranormal after all other explanations have been exhausted in their mind. According to Haunted Auckland founder Mark Wallbank, “Paranormal activity is only ‘Paranormal’ until it is explained. Then it becomes just ‘Normal’.”

Haunted Auckland has seized every opportunity possible to get inside the buildings of Kingseat, and as a result have been able to conduct thorough investigations of several buildings, including the maximum security unit (Asylum Paintball), the former nurse’s hostel (Spookers) and some private residences. During their investigations, paranormal groups such as Haunted Auckland base their findings on their initial impressions of the location, their personal experiences as they move through, as well as readings from electronic equipment they use.

As part of their examinations, Haunted Auckland employ the use of Electric Voice Phenomena (EVP) recorders, which are used to pick up sounds or ‘spirit voices’. During one overnight inspection at Kingseat, EVP recordings captured distinct male voices in a room where only two female team members were present. In other rooms, moaning is captured, as well as laughing, and a man introducing himself as ‘Edward’.

A number of these noises were not audible to the team working in the room at the time, but appeared later on playback. Another incident involves an investigator being told by an audible voice to ‘put it on’ after she announces that she is going to turn her torch off. Throughout the evening, team members also reported personal

22

sightings of light orbs, feelings of cold or heat, and even a glimpse of a man’s shadow passing by at a height of approximately eight feet.

Infrared thermometers are also used to gauge changes in temperature.

Sudden fluctuations in temperature or localised areas of coldness that cannot be readily explained by environmental factors are known as ‘cold spots’. In paranormal investigation, cold spots in the room can indicate paranormal activity. During an investigation, one team member cites hearing footsteps which coincide with sudden temperature drops in the room, and several localised areas of coldness that cannot be logically explained, are present and recorded.

According to Haunted Auckland’s official report, investigations came to a crashing halt when the equipment began to fail due to sudden battery drain - a common complaint from many who have spent time in the former maximum-security building.

Video cameras that were fully charged in preparation for the night’s investigations abruptly aborted the mission and rendered themselves useless, and team members using digital cameras found the batteries quickly failed despite new batteries being put in a short time earlier.

What’s even more curious is that the cameras appeared to be operating in perfect working order the following day, at home. Founder Mark Wallbank attributes this to ghosts, who he says need an energy source in order to manifest. According to Mark, spirits will drain energy from anything available, including people, lights and devices in order to reveal themselves and this kind of battery drain is not uncommon in locations that are haunted. Several members cited feelings of ‘flatness’ and physical drain at Kingseat, a symptom which apparently is also common in situations such as this.

One recorded episode involves a team member undertaking

investigations in the bathroom before becoming overwhelmed with nausea and dizziness. This might seem like an ordinary combination of symptoms which could overtake a fit, healthy person due to a number of factors.

However, it seems peculiar that when another otherwise healthy team member entered the bathroom, they were afflicted by the same symptoms.

Both crew members reported a complete recovery a few minutes after they left the bathroom.

Private tenants leasing the smaller buildings for residential purposes have often reported various ghostly occurrences, including a tenant who describes ‘head-crushing pressure’ when she tries to enter certain rooms, and a family who encourage the spirits present to engage with their children in harmless play.

Due to public demand, Haunted Auckland has held several ‘Public Ghost Hunts’ which have all sold out. These evenings are an open investigation of the building where the public can witness any displays that happen to take place, as well as watch Haunted Auckland using the usual tools and procedures in order to gain evidence of paranormal activity.

The team also guides a group séance in order to communicate with any spectral beings that may be present.

Unfortunately the most recent event was unable to take place due to the landlord’s denial of any further access for the purpose of ghost hunts.

Ghosts of any kind have never been scientifically proven, but experiencing phenomena such as unexplainable feelings, electrical interference, noise disturbance, or fluctuations in temperature can be a sign of paranormal activity. If you are planning on visiting Kingseat, make sure that that you go with a balanced awareness of what its history really holds – both good and bad – and bring a spare pair of underwear – you never know.

Begonia House Photography by Jake Silby

The idea to produce this series of photographs came after a visit to Begonia House at Wellington’s Botanical Gardens. I was immediately taken aback by the noticeable change in temperature one experiences upon entry, necessary for the exotic plant life to survive. There seemed to be a certain degree of irony and artificiality flooding the space, with careful

control being assigned not only to the temperature of the room, but also to the plants’ curation - attributes that would usually occur naturally in the wild. Interested in this, I additionally observed how others consumed the space; noting how they often photographed the plants zoomed in closely, leaving out visual references to any manmade characteristics.

To me, the inherent contrast between the natural and the manufactured within Begonia House seemed largely overlooked and un-discussed by its patrons. The resulting photographs present this conflicting relationship, providing an understanding of the space deviating from the norm.

23

24

25

26

27

28

Julia Braybrook investigates how the hugely popular dating app, Tinder, has impacted the dating landscape.

“Tinder is for people who pretend they’re looking for a date when really they’re just looking for a sneaky root.”

As someone so succinctly summed up on my Facebook newsfeed, it’s pretty clear that as far as dating app reputations go, Tinder doesn’t have the cleanest. However, that hasn’t stopped the exponential rise of an app that has yet to hit the three-year mark. According to a recent article on Techcrunch, Tinder is currently seeing 1.5 million swipes and 21 million matches each day. While the app currently boasts around 50 million active users, it’s expected to hit 100 million users by the end of the year and New Zealanders are among those leading the charge in monthly, weekly, and daily Tinder users. So what’s the big deal, and more importantly, is Tinder really the thing that will change how we date?

While online dating is stereotypically seen as primarily for the middle-aged, Tinder has “opened up this young demographic – 18- to 25-year-olds – that no product could open up before,” according to Match. com’s North American president, Amarnath Thombre, in a recent New York Times article.

But whether this demographic is actually using it as a dating app is up for debate. Most of the guys I talked to said that it was primarily about meeting new people, rather than dating or using it to hook up with

others. One user, 19, who wished to remain unnamed, acknowledged that “it’s a bit of both, like hooking up and also dating but at the end of the day you’re basically meeting new people anyway.” Others like Phil, who had been using the app for a year, said that “it used to be a dating app. It’s quite weird these days, it’s become a mechanism that many girls use to boost popularity on social media. It’s all very strange.” As for girls, Samantha, 21, said that “I personally see it as a way to chat to people of the opposite sex. You are in control of how the conversation goes or where it leads so I guess everyone is different. But I see it as a chatroom app rather than a hook up app.”

In this way, Tinder is fulfilling the vision of Tinder co-founder and former CMO, Justin Mateen, who said in a 2014 article in The Observer, that “the vision is more about social discovery than just dating...Tinder is where you go to meet new people.”

However, meeting people through Tinder seemed harder than it looked.

While many hadn’t had the app for very long, most said that they either hadn’t met anyone yet, or hadn’t had many memorable experiences, apart from a “bit of alright banter,” according to Charles, 22. Gj said that “I guess when I first got it I thought this is good to meet girls. But nah...I end up getting bored of small talk real quick.”

However, Phil, 23, said his most

memorable Tinder experience was in Vancouver. “I met up with this nice girl who was cool, except she was really weird around her cat...she started doing strange things with me and the cat. It was a bizarre experience and I soon realised that a decision had to be made. I told her that it was either the cat or me. She chose the cat.”

Likewise, Samantha said that while she was with someone she met through the app for about a year, her most memorable experience was “when I met up with a guy for coffee after we had been chatting for months and he wasn’t happy with me not telling him how short I was. He obviously wasn’t happy with my height and decided not to see me again.”

Girls also had it easier on the app, with both girls and guys saying that it was easier for girls than guys to meet people through the app. Phil said that “it’s easier for girls, simply because they have more people to choose from than guys.” Samantha said that “just through having different conversations with males on Tinder it seems not many girls are interested in chatting or meeting, so it seems a lot more effort is being put in on the males’ behalf.”

However, Kaitlin said that “I think it is easy for both, but I think girls have to be more careful on it. Especially if they are planning on meeting up with guys in person.”

It’s not just girls who are careful while using the app, most guys said

29

that they were very selective with their swiping. Gj said that he went through all the photos and read the descriptions before deciding, and Benjamin said that while he was “mostly selective...sometimes if I’m bored or getting no matches I would just swipe all.” Phil said that he only swiped right “when I see the perfect girl - I’ve gone days without finding one before,” adding that guys who swiped right to all “are the trashy ones. I strive for excellence.”

However, Kaitlin said that she would prefer to have more details to base her choices on.

“I think, because of its popularity, Tinder is quite a good app. There are a lot of people on it and a wide variety of people. Although it would be nice if you could put basic details on your account like you can in OKCupid.

Things like your stance on drugs, drinking...that sort of thing. This would mean that you could choose your swipes based on more than a few photos and five words.”

However, regardless of whether

you were selective or not in your swiping, Tinder co-founder, Sean Rad, said in the Jewish Journal that “people think that first impressions or photos are superficial...but the reality is that it’s superficial to say it’s superficial.

[Tinder] is a perfect representation of humanity.”

However, for all its ease of use, it’s not without controversy. According to Observer reporter, Molly Mulshine, “Tinder users leave a digital footprint that can’t be deleted. Couples who meet through the app often find themselves in an awkward situation where each is unsure if the other is still using it. Plus, even if a user deletes the app, his or her profile can still pop up on other users’ phones for months.”

Perhaps surprisingly, both guys and girls were equally divided between whether Tinder and relationships were okay. Phil said that “it’s fine, to just have for a laugh,” while Charles said that having Tinder while being in a relationship “kind of defeats the whole purpose really.” On the girls side, ~~-

_/ | \ ~~~ /\ \_ -._ \ --.__ __.--~~ __.-----~ ~-._ ~-._~~-. | ___ ~~ _.-~ ~~-._ ~\ \ ~~~~---.___.---~_.~-._ \ | _.-~ --~/ / ~~\ |' / .-~~~~-./ // / ,;;;;;;;,, /| )' / / ~~-. \ / / ``';;;;;, ~/ ' | | \ ; | / `';;;, |~ | | _| (((( '; | .-~ | | /~ | `~~--.___/ |,..| (_ | | | ``` /,;;;| ( ~| | / | _ / __.--\ \ \ \__ \ |~ .-~~ ~- ) - \ | /.,.. \ / `---' , . | _/ ;;;;;, / | ; ___.---~~ `'';;; | \__.--._ __.-~~ _| `';. | '~~~.-~~ _/ ~\ `';. | , ( `;;\ `. `;, | _.-~~~~~~-.|\ -. . `:;\ | `; | __~~__.---._ _/ `\ `\ | `'`,.| | \ ~~--._)..--~ _.-'.' ,' ` \ \ - _\ /`. ~-~ _.-' `\ `._ .' ( | / ( `\ ~--~ _.-\ | ((_( `\ / .~ ( || ) \) / `._ | \_ `\; | /' ~--.____.-~ / ~~~~~ /--/ / | / / ._((_/| / / | _()_/( | | \ / | \_ `. _.-~ \/ / ~-._ ~-._ _______________.-~ / ) /( | ~-._ ~~--._ | | ) ~-.__ ~-._ | /| /) ~~--.__ \ \ \| | ~-._ | ))| | ~\ | ( \ \ ) `\ | | |( \ | )) ) ( ((

30

__.--~~

Samantha said that it was a “big no, no, no.”

“I totally disagree with having Tinder if you are in a committed relationship. I think whether you are on Tinder looking for a partner or not, it is showing some sort of interest in someone which was initially based solely on how they looked, and attraction.”

Kaitlin added that it depended what relationship you had, and what you were using it for. “I get that some people are just looking to make new friends so in that case it would be totally harmless. But I guess if it was me I would want to know if my partner was using an app like Tinder.”

Bots and fake profiles were also another source of worry for users, with Benjamin finding them frustrating. He said that “there are a lot of female ones...you can usually tell which ones they are; they have a few photos and they send you a message usually about something then link you a website, but they tend to get banned

“I met up with this nice girl who was cool, except she was really weird around her cat...she started doing strange things with me and the cat. It was a bizarre experience and I soon realised that a decision had to be made. I told her that it was either the cat or me. She chose the cat.” quickly enough. It’s just annoying thinking you get a match and it’s a bot.”

And while Tinder has taken action to “prevent sex workers and prostitutes from soliciting clients,” according to The Observer, it was only done after online security firm,Symantec, published a report in July last year about an “influx of spam bots and fake profiles.”

And the recently launched Tinder Plus doesn’t look to have done the app any favours. Tinder Plus, the app’s premium service, gives “users access to their two-most requested features through Passport and Rewind, as well as unlimited liking capabilities.”

With Passport letting you manually change your location to anywhere in the world, rather than relying on those within a 100km radius, it “creates real, one-on-one connections with people across the globe...you’re swiping before you arrive.” Rewind also let you redo your last swipe, so accidentally swiping left meant that potential matches were “no longer lost in the Tinder sphere.”

Finally, Tinder justified the limitations on swiping right as giving “users more incentive to make sure their swipes are honest. For power users who want to expressW interest in a large number of people, Tinder Plus grants unlimited liking capability.”

And it’s this limitation that’s the most controversial of all, with Benjamin

saying that “how it’s asking you to pay for more swipes it’s making me want to just give up on this app...I think [it’s] the most stupidest thing they could have done to this app, it defeats the purpose of this whole app.”

This new service isn’t cheap, costing around US$9.99 a month.

However, for users over 30 years in the United States and over 28 in the UK, the price rises to US$19.99 or US$22.89, depending on the country.

So is Tinder actually changing the dating landscape for the younger demographic?

Evidence suggests not, with many of those interviewed being pretty divided over if it was easier to meet people through apps like Tinder, or through more ‘traditional’ ways, like at bars. Benjamin, 21, said that while it had “basically become a one-nightstand hook up app...unless you don’t have enough confidence to actually walk up to some random person at a coffee shop or bar, Tinder would be best.” Kaitlin, 20, said that it depended on how social users were. “If you don’t go to bars or clubs etc. regularly then using an app like Tinder makes sense.”

On the other side of the scale, Gj, 24, said that he preferred meeting people in “bars and through other people, for sure.”

And with its reputation for resulting in more hook ups than dates, it doesn’t look like it’ll be the next

OKCupid anytime soon. However, far from facilitating the rise of a ‘hook up culture’ and the idea that “everyone on there is only looking for one thing,” as my sister told me, a 2014 article in The New York Times said that “several studies suggest young adults are not having as much sex as believed.”

Quoting a 2013 study from the University of Portland, which surveyed 18- to 25-year-olds who had studied for at least a year at university, comparing results from 1988-1996 to 2002-2010, they found that “fewer respondents from the more recent ‘hookup era’ reported having had sex within the past year...and lower numbers said they’d had multiple partners.”

As one of the study’s authors, sociology professor Martin Monto, said: “We are not in the midst of a new era of no-rules-attached sexuality.”

In fact if anything, rather than being a revolutionary app, Tinder is just one more way to meet people in an increasingly networked and connected world. As co-founder Justin Mateen said: “People think of it as a hook up app, but all we’re doing is facilitating an introduction between two people who are interested in meeting each other...What comes out of it is up to them.”

31

Music round-up

by Paul Berrington

Kendrick Lamar – To Pimp a Butterfly Kendrick Lamar’s follow-up to 2012's Good Kid, M.A.A.D City is an undeniably complex and compelling work. To Pimp a Butterfly is an album that might just change opinions about the current state of hip-hop, and surprise those expecting another throwaway party record. What is clear from the very start of the album is that Lamar wants us to see what it is really like for an African-American living in the United Sates in 2015. To Pimp a Butterfly isn’t a happy journey, but that’s what makes it interesting. Musically and lyrically it is as challenging a rap album as you could find. Heavily influenced by 70s funk and contemporary jazz, samples and guests are as wide-ranging as Sufjan Stevens to Robert Glasper.

The album could almost be seen as a new Parliament-Funkadelic jam, with George Clinton the first voice you hear on opener ‘Wesley’s Thing’. Lamar has created as close to a protest record as hip-hop has come since Public Enemy; the brilliant ‘King Kunta’ tears apart the music industry’s white supremacy. Yet he’s also willing to sound vulnerable – take the self-loathing on ‘Complexion ( A Voodoo Love)’ for example. To Pimp a Butterfly is quite an astonishing statement, and easily one of the best rap records of the last decade.

Inkswel – Superfoods Vol.1 Adelaide based producer, Inkswel, is a self-confessed B-Boy whose obsession with drum machines and programming has led to him create some of the most unique

32

80s influenced boogie and disco you’re likely to hear. Although most of his releases are vinyl only, BBE Music, a label with a mighty reputation for quality reissues and new signings, have collected together some of his best work for Superfoods Vol.1, which is available through digital mediums like iTunes. Showcasing not only Inkswel’s brilliant ability to reference the past without sounding retro, Superfoods blends boogie, R&B, early rap, and disco into fresh new forms and directions. Standouts include ‘So Over It’ featuring Reggie B on vocals, and ‘Superior Fonk’ featuring Charli James and Frenchbased producer Pablo Valentino of Faces Records fame – the latter perfectly summing up what Inkswel’s fusion of genre is all about. A great party record you won’t be disappointed by, you can catch Inkswel on tour in New Zealand during the first weekend of May. Jam City – Dream a Garden Jack Latham, aka Jam City, has been making music for London-based label, Night Slugs, since 2010’s Magic Drops EP, delivering the imprints finest work to date with Classical Curves in 2012. Yet much like the restless nature of bass music in the UK, Latham has chosen a radical new path with his latest work. On the highly ambitious Dream a Garden, he incorporates guitar and processed vocals in an album that sounds both romanticised and futuristic at the same time. Drawing upon unlikely sources such as Durrutti Column and the Cocteau Twins, Latham delivers an impassioned work of vision and risk, with weird tunings

and dimly lit frameworks making the music sound like nothing else around right now. The best tracks – ‘Today’ or ‘Black Friday’ for example – explore the outer regions of pop music in an often bizarre yet somehow still melodically satisfying. The clicks and odd rhythms of Night Slugs material remains, but this an album that positions Jam City as an eclectic producer and musician who is capable of great things.

SJD – Saint John Divine Although you may not have heard of Sean Donnelly, since 1998 he’s been perfecting his own unique take on modern folk-rock, and while a favourite with critics – picking up the Taite Prize for his previous LP Electric Wasteland – it seems unfair that one of New Zealand’s most gifted songwriters hasn’t shared the success of recent pop icons like Lorde and Kimbra. Saint John Divine differs a little from his last bedroomelectronica based effort, and features 11 guest musicians in all, creating a richer tapestry of music underneath Donnelly’s elegantly lazy delivery.

Taking cues from Beck, Bon Iver and even Ziggy Stardust-era Bowie, the album sweeps from gentle guitar to full orchestration, held together by the sheer quality of Donnelly’s songwriting. You’d be forgiven for not picking SJD as a New Zealand band, and this is what makes their music such a treat. ‘I Saw the Future’ and ‘Unplugged’ are as good as any indie-rock song I’ve heard this year.

You sense a confidence in Donnelly’s compositions that gives the music lasting power and quality, making this a timeless album from one of our most underrated musicians.

PERFORMANCE

by Thomas Aitken

Sensory overload would be the best way I could describe WOMAD. For three days in the heart of Taranaki I became a sponge, soaking up hundreds of new sights, sounds, and ideas, continually expanding my mind with music and culture from around the world.

While I may think my taste in music is diverse, the majority of what I listen to comes out of America or Europe. I took this weekend as an opportunity to discover new and exotic sounds from countries that I knew little to nothing about.

Take for example my Sunday afternoon, where a toilet break from one of the main acts took me past the intimate Shell Gables stage. On it sat two African men, beautifully serenading the crowd with a duet on some kind of stringed instrument.

“What is that?! Who are these guys?!”

I thought.

There were so many unknowns and new sounds caressing my ears that I sat down and joined the enthralled crowd. Apparently they were playing the Kora, a 21-stringed harp from West Africa, and they were a father and son duo, Toumani and Sidiki Diabate, from Mali. They were part of a family of Kora players going back 71 generations. That’s hundreds of years of one family playing an instrument that until now I’d never heard! Not only did it sound amazing but Sidiki, the

son, finished the set by remixing his Kora skills with mad hip-hop beats.

Similarly, Meeta Pandit from India continued her 200-year-old family tradition with a voice that apparently stretches over three octaves. I don’t know what an octave is but as the sun shone down on native trees with Pukeko strolling around the pond and Tui singing back to her, I’d almost describe her performance as spiritual.

Sadly I missed Luzmila Carpio from Bolivia who sings in the 2000-year-old Quechua language but the point I’m dancing around is that the music and culture we are exposed to at WOMAD is only a drop in the ocean of what is out there.

What I found interesting to see was the many crossovers that would bring obscure cultures into relevance. Bands from Israel, Niger, Italy, Romania, Brazil, and Congo all had distinctly unique sounds that would find common ground with the crowd in genres like blues, reggae, ska and funk. Personal highlights would be Balkan Beatbox (Israel / USA), Bombino (Niger), Fanfare

Ciocarlia (Romania), Flavia Coelho (Brazil), Jupiter & Okwess International (Democratic Republic of Congo) and Ramzi Aburedwan (Palestine), though I’d really recommend browsing the line up at random. It was all so good.

That music goes much deeper than the Edge’s Top 40 playlist.

I did find it a tad odd that a festival billed as “NZ’s only carbon neutral world music festival” was sponsored by Shell and Todd Energy, but hey, I wasn’t there to question things, I was there for the harem pants and the Hare Krishna food stall.

Non musical highlights for me included finding a fiddy bag on the ground at Buena Vista Social Club’s performance, an eerily quiet campsite being disrupted by a drunken Irishman tripping over tents “on a quest to find the golden arches,” drinking Lion Browns in the campsite, and listening to the snores of a woman with her backpack on and her pants round her ankles, fast asleep on the toilet at 1am.

Photo credit: Ezra Simons

33

FILM

by Paul Berrington

Inherent Vice (2014) Director: Paul Thomas Anderson Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Katherine Waterston, Josh Brolin, Benicio del Toro, Martin Short, Reese Witherspoon, Eric Roberts, and Owen Wilson.

♥♥♥♥♥

Paul Thomas Anderson’s films are in a romantic way, an ode to the ‘New Hollywood’ era of film-making, symbolised by Coppola and Scorsese, which makes them increasingly difficult to market and distribute beyond the festival circuit. Yet the fact that his latest film – an adaptation of Thomas Pynchon’s novel Inherent Vice – failed to gain a cinema release in New Zealand seems a little hard to understand given that his past efforts have included Boogie Nights and There Will Be Blood.

In Los Angeles County in 1970, Larry “Doc” Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix), private detective and pothead, awakes on his couch to the words “you’ve got to help me” - it’s his ex-girlfriend, Shasta (Katherine Waterston), and she wants him to stop her new beau Mickey Wolfman (Eric Roberts), from being put in an insane asylum by a conniving wife.

The next morning, Black Guerrilla Family member Tariq Kahlil (Michael K. Williams) walks into Doc’s office and wants him to find Glen Charlock, a member of the Aryan Brotherhood who works as muscle for Wolfman,

34

who as it turns out is a local gangster with development plans for local neighbourhoods. When Doc sniffs out a trail, he’s framed for Charlock’s murder, requiring his slick lawyer Sauncho (Benicio del Toro) to secure his release by battling hippy-hating cop Bigfoot (Josh Brolin). After taking on a third case, tracking the disappearance of Coy (Owen Wilson) – believed dead and possibly connected to the rest of the plot, Doc is soon in over his head, submerged in weed fog, as drug cartel, Golden Fang, tighten their grip around him. A nymphomaniac dentist, a building shaped like a golden fang, a hidden cult, and a vigilante secret police all add to Doc’s complicated quest, one in which he seems unquestionably destined to fail.

You’ll either love Inherent Vice, or think it to be pretentious and unnecessary. The complicated plot takes some working through, but the brilliant storytelling and remarkable ensemble cast certainly make up for it. The film is also very funny, and profoundly political.

Considered un-filmable, Pynchon is an author whose precise research and referencing contrast sharply with his outlandish narratives, and writer/ director Anderson’s screenplay follows this same principle. His film, set in the aftermath of sixties values and the Manson-family murders, and the economic uncertainty of the period also plays a part. Sportello stands as anti-hero detective, part-Marlowe, part-gonzo journalist - good at heart but also seen as a failure of sorts.

The perfect man to be manipulated by all sorts, complete with a muddled integrity that always sees him through - a survivor of changing times.

Full of crazy characters and bizarre set pieces, Inherent Vice is

often abstract yet holds together well due to a voice-over narrative from musician Joanna Newsom as Sortilège, which binds the many plot strains into a central mystery. Fans of 70s cinema will find a lot to enjoy as this is superbly told American driven entertainment that doesn’t focus on the multiplex profits.

Wild Tales (2014) Director: Damián Szifrón Starring: Érica Rivas, Osmar Núñez, Ricardo Darín, Oscar Martínez, Leonardo Sbaraglia, and Julieta Zylberberg

♥♥♥♥

Containing the sort of graphic content you might not normally associate with a Best Foreign Film Academy Award nomination, Damián Szifrón’s Wild Tales is actually six films condensed into one, with different narratives that don’t necessarily overlap in terms of plot, but are loosely connected through the themes of violence, revenge, and love.

Passengers chatting on a plane realise they’re all connected somehow to the same man, Pasternak, who they mostly dislike and have all hurt in some way – ex-girlfriends, music teachers, psychologists etc. A waitress recognises a man from her hometown, a gangster who hurt her family, and is talked into poisoning him by an ex-convict chef. A moment of road rage on an Argentinean highway leads to an intense man-on-man fight

between a city slick Audi driver and a local ‘redneck’. When his car is towed, a demolitions engineer misses his daughter’s birthday, and starts to lose his already frail temper, before finding solace in a way that uses his own expertise. A rich teen hits a pregnant woman in his dad’s car, and the inner workings of back- room corruption are put into action to keep him away from prosecutors. A wedding party turns into surreal nightmare when the bride finds out the groom has been cheating on her with one of the guests, resulting in the most awkward wedding you’re ever likely to see.

Certainly not for the fainthearted, Wild Tales takes its title literally, delivering some truly vivid storytelling. Yet if you enjoy comedy

of the blackest kind, you’ll find much to enjoy in these tales of vengeance.

While Szifrón is clearly trying to update the framework of the morality tale, it’s not a heavy-handed take, and there is never a truly clear villain or hero to behold. This ambiguous characterisation doesn’t suppress any of the impact, and it’s likely you’ll never give anyone the finger while driving again. The shock and awe of watching the protagonists – of which there are many – jump head first into an abyss of despair is actually quite thrilling.

The film is also high on production values, with excellent cinematography, courtesy of Javier Juliá, and excellent Argentinean locations – an expansive desert plateau, Bueno Aires at peak hour traffic. The acting is also

strong, with Érica Rivas as wronged wife Romina, Osmar Núñez as a slimy lawyer, and Ricardo Darín as a demolition engineer, particularly watchable.

One of the smartest and funniest films you’re likely to see about violence, Wild Tales is memorably bizarre, coming across as the sort of thing you’d get if David Lynch and Alfred Hitchcock collaborated.

35

PERKS OF PARIS

Fleur Hume recommends six places to check out if you ever happen to end up in Paris.

1 – The Louvre Museum Europe is jam-packed with beautiful museums, but none quite like The Louvre. Housed underground and inside the magnificent Louvre Palace, this is an experience that really should not be missed. One of the largest museums in the world, this beauty is home to more than 35,000 artefacts from every corner of the globe. Unlike the Auckland Museum, getting a glimpse at everything is impossible, especially in a single day. In fact, word is that it would take nine months to glance at every piece, so it really is essential to hit your top stops first as you will run out of time.

2 – Eiffel Tower Although not the highlight of my Paris trip (as some might expect), climbing the Eiffel Tower is definitely an experience I won’t forget in a hurry. It really is an impressive piece of architecture, and a great spot for city views. The best time to go is at dusk – that way you can appreciate the stunning views both in the daylight and all lit up in the evening. There are cafeterias on each floor selling (incredibly overpriced) food and drink, and in winter, an ice skating rink on

36

the first level – a pretty magical place to skate (especially to some badass French rap music).

3 – The Islands Right in the heart of the city are two small islands, separated by the Seine River – a picture perfect spot for that dreamy Parisian day you’ve been after. Here you’ll find the famous Notre Dame cathedral (free to enter), as well as pretty parks, bridges, boutique shops, and restaurants - Paris at its finest. In the summer, the islands are a hot spot for gelato – in winter, crepes.

Take a cruise down the river, spend the day on foot, or hire a bike from one of the road-side racks.

4 – Roue de Paris Riding this 60-foot ferris wheel is a really fun way to see the city.

Paris itself is huge, and unless you’re prepared to pay top dollar, you won’t be staying across the road from the Eiffel Tower. I found it a great way to orient myself, while also being pretty darn romantic. Tickets are fairly cheap (€10), and the ride is a decent length. You’re also welcome to bring your candyfloss (or some of those inappropriately-good roasted nuts) along for the ride, which are sold nearby.

5 – Disneyland Paris Only an hour train ride from

the city, you can quite easily do the trip in a day, or stay overnight at one of the many Disneyland hotels. For the same price as a teeny-tiny room in the city, I got a comparably enormous 4- star room at Disneyland – buffet breakfast included! You don’t have to be 12 to enjoy Disneyland – there are plenty of rides for us slightly older folk, and an entire shop full of Stars Wars merchandise. What more could you possibly want? Sure, food is expensive, wait-times for rides are long, and it seems to be eternally crowded… but it’s also pretty magical.

6 – Musee Marmottan Monet This amazing wee museum is home to a large collection of Claude Monet’s many drawings and paintings. Granted, if you’re not a Monet fan this probably doesn’t excite you all that much, however, I am yet to encounter such a person.

At only €6.50 for a student ticket, this museum is a great way to soak up some of that sophisticated Parisian culture without breaking the bank (or spending an entire day). Plus, as an added bonus, this museum is only a five minute walk from some of the best shopping I found in Paris!

Take a break in Tairua

Known as ‘The Jewel of the Coromandel’, Tairua is a great spot for a quiet few days away and a chance to soak up some vitamin D. Before you turn off to get to Tairua you will cross the Kopu Bridge.

At this point, make any calls, texts or emails you need to before you make your way over the ranges where there will be no cell coverage for around 45 minutes. The ranges can be quite brutal – winding, rugged and ascending to 600m high. If you are prone to travel sickness, this is the time to get the bowl ready.

Once you hit Tairua, its focal point -the inlet- makes for great crab hunting, and the courage to jump from the bridge into the water is known among the locals as the point at which a child has reached maturity. Of course, the water is full of eels which makes for interesting swimming. The township is accessed through a onelane bridge which has been known to flood in adverse weather.

If you have beach feet, don’t drive through to the ever popular Hot Water Beach like most tourists– you will be missing the natural beauty of Tairua’s own beach Te Karo Bay, often referred to as ‘Sailor’s Grave’. This beach contains a lonely grave, thought to be New Zealand’s oldest sailor’s grave,

which is immortalised by a white picket fence. The beach is sheltered by picturesque pohutukawa, and has amazing rock pools to explore. If you get high on fresh air and tree hugging, make sure you go and check out the Twin Kauri Scenic Reserve, which is a 15 minute bush walk, just ten minutes’ drive from the Tairua Township. The kauri marks the start of the walk, just off the road and makes for great photos -and a sore neck.

If becoming one with nature is not your style, there are frequently activities on in town including food and wine festivals and community theatre productions. Nothing flash, and there is not a lot of shopping opportunities but you can find things to do. Markets run on the first Saturday of every month in the community hall where you can pick up handmade soaps, produce, and second-hand goods.

The main road of Tairua is where most things are and is located between the inlet and the St Francis Anglican Church Op Shop. Visiting the local op-shop is essential, as is having a drink and fries at The Pepe .The Pepe is located on the strip, beside the inlet and is the best local hangout for its relaxed, down-to-earth feel and direct views of the beach. If you are after something a little more cosmopolitan,

head to Manaia Kitchen and Bar which offers gourmet meals and a full bar, in a more sophisticated setting.

If you are after a party place, this is not the best location. You can have a drink at Manaia and there is a liquor store on the main drag, but generally, Tairua is seen as a family friendly holiday location.

Tairua can be expensive because it is priced as a resort town, so it’s a good idea to bring some food from the supermarket and gas up your car before you leave the city. In terms of accommodation, there are freedom camping spots available in town which can bring down your costs, and there are a number of budget accommodation options including The Pinnacles Backpackers, which sports an Obelix at its gate.

– Taryn Dryfhout

37

rep chic: Marx Key loves da Ya Ya Clurb

So thanks to the delight that is Lorde, news is Auckland’s gone all “Made in Chelsea” with the introduction of the Ya Ya Club – "an exclusive events company that boats Auckland's elitist [not elite] fashion and gastronomic circle."

Ya Ya Club organiser Phoebe Loloma Trezevant-Miller, said: “You won’t hear the flick of a jandal as I walk up to the barbecue.”

Lorde commented “Lol, what an embarrassing hot mess”, about the Ya Ya Club’s first party of the year – “Costume Internationale”. As seen on Ya Ya Club’s Facebook page, those in attendance could expect: “Intriguing Geisha Twins? Seductive Sari Queens?

Powerful Egyptian Gods? Striking Pacifica Princes/s? You choose!”

The club responded to the Lorde burn: “Hot messes are like chaos & disturbance: sometimes you need it to shake things up to get unexpected best. That’s what I love about change and learning!”

Like the club’s ignorance when it comes to the English language (who knew you could “boat” things?) this is not the first cultural appropriation controversy in the last six months.

Who could forget Dame Tamsin Cooper’s disastrous faux pas by using Native American headdress for her 2014 catwalk.

“I unreservedly apologise and regret any offence I have caused through using Native American

38

head-dress in my catwalk show,” Cooper said.

“I genuinely respect and honour all cultures, races, and religions. It was never my intention to disrespect another culture.

“It is my hope that through my mistake and ignorance, like me, people now know and are aware of the sacredness of the head dress to Native Americans.”

Trezevant-Miller and bandmate Joshua Troskie. Just look at John Key Jnr all doe-eyed, young and eager – what a button!

What does daddy think about it all then? Well, he told Stuff that he had “heard some of Troskey’s music, and thought it was something Max was “having a bit of fun with”.

And quite frankly, we reckon ol’ Keyburgers should be more concerned with daughter Steffi’s affinity to get her kit off and exploit most minorities. But it’s all good, it’s in the name of “art”, and anyway, what’s wrong with having a bit of fun eh?

Speaking of cultural appropriation, it is common knowledge that National Party mini-me Max Key is a patron of the Ya Ya Club, especially seeing as his band “Troskey” (not to be confused with the Marxist revolutionary Leon Trotsky) played their first gig at Ya Ya Club’s Christmas launch party in Britomart’s 1885 Basement.

Music producer Duke Dumont said “It’s odd, the allusion in their name, to a Marxist revolutionary and theorist which seems, perhaps, rather at odds to his father’s political bent.”

Here he is pictured with Ya Ya Club organiser Phoebe Loloma

For more fashion follies and political satire see representativechic.com

Food Blog: Polenta Cake Yes, I know, I’m one of those drongos who has “waves” of being into things - whether that be sequins, wayfarers, almond croissants, all things Scandinavian and apparently, cakes including polenta. So my friend asked me to make her a cake for her work-do. Sure, me being the bloody muggans said yes. Perfect for the blog, I said (secretly)! Every Wednesday a group of my friends play croquet, drink in hand, for what we like to call “Whack it Wednesday”. Euphemisms are unintended. It was after this week’s #WhackItWednesday that I realised while stumbling home (on a school night) that I had forgotten to prioritise my cake-making. In a wave of hysteria I rushed to the supermarket and purchased oranges, walnuts, carrots, and cream cheese. New trend alert! I mean how can you possibly go wrong with sweet, sour and tart?

Speaking of trends, there’s definitely a “cake of the moment” that’s dominating the likes of Instagram.

Think gluten-and-dairy-free, ethereal dried flowers, powdered plum ornamentation and pistachios. What’s more, the aesthetic of this #ontrend cake is “slightly disheveled but equally put together” in other words, “shabby chic”. So here’s my take on the trend, in an easy - let’s-put-as-little-effort-inas-humanly-possible kind of way.

Ingredients About 200g of butter 4T olive oil 1 C sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract 4 eggs Handful of cut-up walnuts 1 ½ tsp baking powder 3/4C polenta 2 big carrots, finely grated 3 oranges (the zest of 2, the juice of all 3.)

Tub of cream cheese Up to 2 C of icing sugar Dried flowers for decoration Instructions Combine the sugar, oil, and butter and whisk the heck out of it until fluffy.

Add the eggs and beat, beat, beat.

Add the vanilla, baking powder, polenta. Finally add the carrots, walnuts and orange zest and juice.

Mix the heck out of it. By this point all the scents will be getting to you.

Grease the heck out of a baking tin. Seriously, because this is a densehealthy-ish cake, it’s inclined to be inordinately attached to its partner in crime, namely the tin. I’m losing my mind with all the aroma. So many innuendos with this recipe! Okay, biff the mixture into the oven at 160 degrees Celsius for about 30 - 40 minutes. Leave to cool once it’s out of the oven.

Now for the icing. Combine the cream cheese and icing sugar. If it tastes/feels/looks a bit “meh” add a bit of butter or orange zest. I tend to overdo it on the vanilla so I’m not going to suggest you add more. Once the cake is ready to be iced, gloop on as much icing as possible. The more, the better, I say. Huzzah!

–Sasha Borissenko

39

40

Uni Mum I am your new surrogate Uni Mum (“I’m not a regular mum, I’m a cool mum”) here to offer sound advice (and virtual hugs) about anything to do with university life.

From the flatmate who steals your clothes, to the test you will cheat on, to your cunning plans to bang that babe down the hallway, and everything in between. If you have an issue you would like me to cover, just flick me an email (editor@ massivemagazine.org.nz) and I will be sure to write about it next month.

It is time to have the talk, team.

You’ve had long enough to get into it, under it, or behind it, so let’s finally talk about it.

Sex. Well, not just sex (that’s Guru’s buzz), but instead the fun and oh so confusing togetherness that is *sexual relationships*. Some are forged, some accidental, some long, some short, and some, so fucking stupid and embarrassing that require a very strong filter to block them out of your mind for years to come. This topic comes up as my boyfriend of three years finally moves into my place after years of shoes, underwear, and hair products sprawled across two houses.

This is it. This is the final step in what I consider to be The Beginning of the End (in the best way possible).

Some of you will be stomping about in my shoes. Others will be drowning a broken heart in Double Browns as a long distance relationship with a high school partner hasn’t lasted the distance. Maybe you are reading this while you wait the illogical twenty minutes before you text a girl back. Or how about the large majority of females who are currently applying stealth like code-deciphering techniques to a text that a potential

suitor sent that would make John Key and his GCSB Bill proud? Then there is that minority who are sitting there with aching pelvic floor muscles, a grin from ear to ear and black bags of insomniac inducing happiness under their eyes.

Relationships are strange at every point. Whether they are making you ache between the legs or between the ears, they are, in whole, a step by step negotiation of what you can’t say, wont do and will definitely over think.

From the first hook up to the last fight, be prepared to ride the rollercoaster of extremities!

The first phase you will never forget. The easy flirting, the “you hang up first” conversations, the endless online television watching while you lie cocooned in each other’s bodies, your fingers dancing across the palm of the other’s hand. This is the honeymoon phase: a short but sweet segment where bonding meets bondage, and for some strange reason you must never, ever fart. Because it would be totally weird to let out some super natural butt air and turn them off, but it’s totally acceptable to let them release bodily fluids into your mouth?!? Instead, they must be held severely tight in your stomach, so much so that you will both be doing those strange internal farts and saying to each other “Wow! I must be so hungry!” when in reality you have a booze-poo that has been brewing for the duration of your Game of Thrones TV marathon.

Next comes the everything-butenjoyable freak out phase. The sweet good morning texts begin to dry out, spontaneous dinner dates begin to fizz and you both take off your pajamas and leave the house separately to drink cheap wine with a bunch of mates.

This is the point where we should

all turn to our thoughts and go “hey guys, reckon you could just shut the fuck up and let me not think for a bit?” but instead, life becomes like a fucking chapter out of The Da Vinci Code. Coffee with friends become you dictating texts from your phone, each one taking a turn at offering very poor and subjective advice before you burst into tears and say something along the lines of “he’s just a fucking dick anyway” and end up inviting him over in some fun and flirty way to giggle and flick your hair in a nothingever-bothers-me-I’m-a-super-cool-chick manner.

Then guess what? It’s time for a fight (or five). Tears flow, doors slam, and your flatmates seriously think about evicting you. You’ll go back against all your friends’ wishes, fight some more, make up, and then never actually get over the issue at hand (there is probably an ex involved). And then, it goes one of two ways: it either ends (where there will either be a lot of emotionally driven pizza and beer consumption, or you’ll simply be fine and/or embarrassed you went there) or, it continues, the two of you both knowing that you genuinely care, and maybe even love one another.

And that is kind of it, really.

Repeat a couple more times, add in the ability to talk about your bowel movements and what you have is the foundations of something pretty fucking magical (and a shared bedroom, apparently).

41

Ask Guru Hey Guru. I’ve had a crush on this guy for two years now - ever since first year, and we’ve only really started to talk a bit recently. I think he is quite shy in general, and never seems to be at the same parties as I am, so we never talk outside of uni.

The only times I do see him are at uni or at the gym, and I am not sure how I can move things forward with him or if I should even let him know I like him? What can I do to make things happen?! HELP. Two years! Fuck me – that’s such a long time. Girl, you need to act on this now, keep talking to him and follow my steps to make it obvious that you want his d in you.

Boys who are quiet have two things going for them. They let off that sense of mystery, like they’re some sort of French lover-man who knows the anatomy of a fanny inside-out, and can make you cum multiple times, and they are probably packing - by packing I mean he has a big willy. Guru is loud and not shy Λ kidding. Guru’s willy is massive, like this magazine, but we’ll save that for another question.

So we now know why you want the quiet man, and why girls in general like the quiet guy – you now need to show him that you do. You have to make him want you back. The first thing you need to do is ask him out. I always say this, but dating is the key to a relationship. Sometimes it can work by hooking up in town and letting him finger bang you on the dance floor, but often that just ends in an eventless fuck, and an embarrassing morning after. So ask him out. It doesn’t have to be a romantic dinner, it could just be a coffee, a walk somewhere, just a place where you can talk and get to know each other.

This is the first step in letting

42

know that you fancy him and would kinda like him on top of you. From here, you lay down the subtle hints, like the flick of the hair, touch of the face (while he is talking to you), brush of his leg, flash of your tit … these are all hints that we innately understand.

Once he eventually catches on (which may take a while as us guys are a little slow), he’ll hopefully reciprocate. This may include, but is not limited to, the flashing of his muscles, the odd back touch, and the want to make you laugh - all signs that he wants ya bum.

Eventually, you guys will both admit your fondness of each other, will bang and make babies and live happily ever after with your Massey degrees, frolicking through the business world happy and in love. So make the first step, make this dream reality. Make your kuss presentable, brush your teeth, get your seductive lips ready, and ask him for a coffee. Best of luck, darl. Guru xo I’ve recently started an online dating profile and have met a nice man who I have been on four dates with now. We get on so well, and he treats me like a princess. There is a big problem though – he has a TINY penis. We tried to have sex, but you could hardly call it sex, as I could hardly feel anything. Sex is an important part of a relationship for me, and I do really like him, but I don’t know what to do.

Small willies seem to be trending, hashtag let’s take over twitter. Be careful on the internet by the way, there are lots of creepy dudes who want to do naughty things (not the good type of naughty) on there, so keep your wits about swiping right just because he has a shirtless selfie

profile pic.

That is super awesome that you have met someone on the internet though. Cause often it just turns into a quick, uneventful root, a kiss goodbye, and never seeing them again. It’s just a shame about his penis. So hold on tight, I’m going to take you on an adventure into the world of small willies, and what you can do about them.

As mentioned in the previous edition of Ask Guru, the average penis size is around five inches (length ways), so anything larger than that is above average. Anything smaller than that is below average, but is often not a cause for concern.

You want to know why?

The vagina is only actually stimulated up to four inches deep, anything more than that is not as sensitive as the first four inches, and the G-spot is about two inches deep in the vagina, and once that spot is hit, then all hell breaks loose.

However, if he is well below average (we’re talking a two inch skinny thing) then you need to focus on foreplay. Foreplay can, at times, be way more pleasurable then the sex itself. It’s a time when you both can learn about each other, what makes you tick, and what gets you hot and bothered. Get him to stimulate your clitoris and G-spot at the same time – sometimes a rub of the bumhole can add a little bit of excitement as well. Get him to work you up, make it exciting and hot and orgasm away.

Afterwards, once your fanny has settled its grettle, let him fuck you.

Pretend to enjoy it.

Otherwise, you can work with different positions, so avoid missionary as that opens you vagina up, and try doggy. Doggy allows you to restrict

access and tighten your vaginal muscles, making it feel tighter. It also allows for deeper penetration. Try ‘froggy style’ too; lie on your tummy and have him enter you from behind.

It may take a little work for it to get in there (especially if it’s a small one), but once it does, you have more control of the tightness of your vagina, hopefully making sex more pleasurable. Also, kegal muscle exercise. Google how to do them, they strengthen that area up - make it tight like a tiger.

Whatever you do, remember that he does have feelings, and he will get offended if you tell him it’s small. Bring it up gently if none of the above works, otherwise, keep faking it till you make it. Guru.

I met this girl on Tinder. She is such a babe and we’ve been on a few dates together. I’ve heard it through the grapevine that she is bi-sexual, that I don’t care about, but she took part in threesomes and foursomes, which I hear were super raunchy. I don’t know if I can handle that. Help guru! I like her, but am concerned about her past!

Mate, take a chill pill and relax.

What she did in her past is her business and should play no part in what your relationship could eventually become.

I understand where you are coming from though. It’s not nice knowing that someone you like has been with someone else, and that’s just human nature. We are jealous people, but we soon get over it. It plays on our mind for like 10 minutes, and then goes away. If it doesn’t disappear, you probably need to talk to her about it.

Remember, you only know this because of hearsay. Get her to confirm

it. I’m sure that if she is the type of person to participate in group-sex, she’ll definitely be open to talking about it.

If she did have a colourful past and had orgies etc. who cares! It could be a good thing. She’ll be a firecracker in bed, and one day you guys could introduce other partners

to the bedroom, which makes it even more exciting.

Just think of her past as a gateway into a sex-world of opportunities, from fingers up the bum, to leather straps, and electric shocks to the nipples, she’ll open your mind, I’m sure.

43

She

by Michaela Scholtens She was revered for her mediocrity For her keen ability to be No more than what she was.

She was not plagued With a desire to please But rather She had a hunger to see To be And to create.

She didn’t crave anyone And ought not to be craved But I envied her in a way That friends should not.

I was consumed by the possibility of her By the potential.

She wrote without conviction Inspired without intention But I still yearned For some part of her To become some part of me.

I was drawn to her And her inarguable sense of self Others preferred to not look at her too closely For fine print is not meant for tender eyes.

She was understated In an obvious sort of way She embodied a sense of freeness Of rawness That was deeply unattainable - Thus the basis of its appeal.

Her aptness for being devoured me Blind to my obsession She couldn’t comprehend That anyone would want what she had She wasn’t anything more She just was.

Now that I am weather worn and grey With no use for eloquence or trinkets And she has faded from relevance In the same way John Green suggests we fall in love - Slowly and then all at once It is in the pulse of my mind that She will remain.

44

The space between us

by Margot Edwards I am new here And you give me a book to read Hardcover, like the words Phenomenology, comportment, immanence and flesh You quote the philosopher, “Flesh is the unity of contradiction” Ha! It’s not magic, flesh is always contradictory Can you not see my eyes glaze over when you rave about the “space between”?

But when you stop for a breath, I feel the space between us suck at my wellbeing My new acquaintances, complexity theory and wickedness, float above my head And while I struggle to bed them I think of my last client We met in a place that your precious theorists would find contemptible So please don’t tell me about fucking connectivity and diversity Because I know things your scholarly friends will never understand I turn up again and I sit and I listen but it’s always a one-way conversation My voice is stilled by the letters behind your name and the power of your pen What will it be? A, B, C, D, E? One quick stroke and my fate is sealed I want to shout, “See me! Hear me!”

But you would say, “Sorry, I can’t understand you. Can you repeat that?”

My own language simmers “Put your finger into the light socket and see how it feels” But instead, I invite you politely, co-create with me, but you do not smile And you do not see how it feels to live with flesh as the source of my being So here I am, cocking my ear towards your rapid-fire voice And as I let my broken worldview flirt with soft skills and empathy The mirage of your integrity shimmers behind the lectern Because I pay you to teach me about inclusivity That’s in our text book (Ladkin, 2010, p. 119) But teacher, you never once put a foot into that space between us.

45

46

Puzzle Time Think you’re a whiz? Take this quiz!

All of these questions relate to the content in this month’s magazine.

Once you’ve figured out the answers, send them through to editor@ massivemagazine.org.nz with the subject line ‘QUIZ’ to be in to win this month’s lucky prize.

Sudoku

How many words can you make out of these letters?

I C

N

E G

T

L

L I N E

Answers: 1. Leicester Square, Picadilly, Coventry street.

2 Muscle and bone 3. Nose and ears 4. Three 5. Auckland 6. Scorpio 7. Box 8. Po (red), La la (yellow) Dipsy (green) Tinky-Winky (purple) 9. Q & Z 10. Zayn Malik

Answers from last month 1. $175.10 2. Levin 3. Prospect 4. If You’re Reading This it’s Too Late 5. Rick Zwaan 6. On the South bank of the Yarrah River 7. Edward Snowden 8. Spookers and Asylum Paintball 9. February 25 10. No

Just for fun!

01. Name the three yellow properties on the original Monopoly board.

02. A tendon is a connective tissue, what does it connect?

03. Which two body parts continue to grow for the rest of your life?

04. How many hearts does an octopus have?

05. What was the capital city of New Zealand before it was Wellington?

06. What would your star sign be if you were born on October 29?

07. Which word can follow black, letter, and match?

08. Name all four of the Teletubbies and their colours.

09. What two letters are worth the most in a game of Scrabble?

10. Which member recently left their band, One Direction?

E

From the Mag 01. What city is Radio Control based in?

02. How many international students are enrolled in tertiary institutions in NZ in 2015?

03. What is Hekia Parata’s job title?

04. If the Education Amendment Bill passes, how many representatives would there be on University Councils?

05. According to Haunted Auckland, why do they think that electronic equipment loses its battery when ghostly activity is around?

06. In which city would you find Begonia House?

07. According to Techcrunch, roughly how many matches are made on Tinder each day?

08. Name Kendrick Lamar’s newest album.

09. Where would you find The Louvre?

10. Who directs Inherent Vice?

47

Editor Kim Parkinson (04) 801 5799 ext. 63765 editor@massivemagazine.org.nz Design and Layout Dexter Edwards design@mawsa.org.nz Advertising, Marketing, and MAWSA Association Manager James Collings (04) 801 5799 ext. 63763 manager@mawsa.org.nz Campus Reporters Auckland Julia Braybrook juliabraybrook@gmail.com Manawatu Carwyn Walsh carwynwalsh@gmail.com Read online issuu.com/massivemagazine Publisher massivemagazine.org.nz ISSN 2253-5918 (Print) ISSN 2253-5926 (Online) This publication uses vegetable based inks and environmentally responsible papers. The document is printed throughout on SUMO Laser, which is FSC® certified and from responsible forests, manufactured under ISO14001 Environmental Management Systems.

MASSIVE magazine is committed to reducing its environmental footprint.

Disclaimer The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages of MASSIVE Magazine do not necessarily represent those of Massey University, its staff, Albany Students’ Association (ASA), Massey University Students’ Association (MUSA), Massey at Wellington Students’Association (MAWSA), Extramural Students’ Society, or the MASSIVE editor.

48

Contributors Julia Braybrook, Carwyn Walsh, Sasha Borissenko, Paul Berrington, Taryn Dryfhout, Thomas Aitken, Fleur Hume, Michaela Scholtens, Margot Edwards, Uni Mum, Jake Silby, WGuru, Rep Chic.

The chick behind the cover

Image Credits Front cover Alice Moynihan www.alicemoynihan.com Editorial, Page 3 Anton Burian email anton@0800phantom.co.nz Study abroad feature, page 15 Hannah Jensen facebook.com/pages/Hanby-Prints or email Hannah_jensen@me.com Kingseat feature, Page 21 Elliot Gonzales gonzalesbabies.tumblr.com/tagged/ doodles or avkmmxv.tumblr.com Photo feature, Page 23 Jake Silby jakesilby.com Tinder feature, Page 29 Nicola Sandford Travel, Page 36 & Back Cover Alice Alva, www.glassandbones.com Uni Mum, Page 41, Claire Esterman claireemily-e.tumblr.com Ask Guru, Page 42, Brad Smit, brdsmt.tumblr.com or email bradley.smit@live.com

Alice Moynihan I am an Auckland-based illustrator, designer, artist, and recent graduate of Massey University. I currently work as a graphic and digital-media designer by day and freelance as an illustrator in the hours between. The cover art explores the feeling of a fresh start and the moment of seeing what is familiar from a new perspective, as something foreign, surprising, or beautiful. alicemoynihan.com Twitter: @alimoyali Instagram: @alice_moy

www.globug.co.nz For a limited time call us and join to get a one off

$50 joining credit.

Call 0800 456 525 with promo code: 1210

Students in Wellington could save around $145 p.a.* on power with GLOBUG.

Offer expires 31/05/2015

Get smarter about power

A P P

*Compared to the average of residential electricity prices in Wellington taken from the MBIE’s February 2015 Quarterly Survey of Domestic Electricity Prices. Based on 7,990kWh annual consumption. Credit applied to your account and is not refundable, or redeemable to cash.

GLOBUG could help students save money on power. It’s prepay, so you’ll know exactly how much you are spending.

49

50