Massive Magazine Manawatū Issue 04 2020 by Massive Magazine

Massive

The Environment Issue

Managing Editor: Laura Macdonald editor@mawsa.org.nz 04 979 3765 Designer: Harry Weise massive@mawsa.org.nz 04 979 3765 Media Manager: Caitlin Barlow-Groome manager@mawsa.org.nz 04 979 3763 Staff Writers: Dani Molloy (Albany) Aryaman Parulkar (Manawatū) Tyler Hambleton (Wellington) Contributors: Finn Williams, Elise Cacace, Kyra Warbrick, Tess Patrick, Connie Sellers, Lucy Jesshop, Gabriel Field Illustrator: Casey Sheard Artist Feature: Vincent Owen (@_vincentowen) Front Cover: Harry Weise Publisher: Massivemagazine.org.nz ISSN-2253-5918 (Print) ISSN-2253-5926 (Online). This publication is printed using environmentally friendly inks and paper, the paper which is FSC© certified and from responsible forests, is manufactured under ISO14001 Environmental Management Systems. Massive Magazine is committed to reducing its environmental footprint. DISCLAIMER: The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages of Massive Magazine do not necessarily represent those of Massey University, its staff, Albany Students’ Association (ASA), Massey University Students’ Association (MUSA), Massey at Wellington Students’ Association (MAWSA), Extramural Students’ Association, or the Massive editor. MAWSA is an independent organisation that publishes Massive. Send any queries or complaints directly to Massive at editor@mawsa.org.nz. Massive is subject to the New Zealand Press Council. If a complainant is not satisfied with the response from Massive, the complaint may be referred to the Press Council: info@presscouncil.org.nz or online via presscouncil.org.nz.

Massive Magazine | Issue 04

Contents NEWS

FEATURES

Massiveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got the scoop on whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happening on (and off) Massey campuses nationwide.

Front and centre, our features investigate and probe at the issues or topics of the moment. Have a gander.

ARTIST FEATURES In each issue we shine the spotlight on a talented student and their portfolio. It could be you in the next issue!

OPINION This is the spot for all creative writing, thought pieces and anything else that makes you cock your head.

REGULARS The classics - The Unlonely Woman, Suffrage, Salivate, Blind Date and the rest all live on these back pages. We understand if you skip straight to them.

This Massive Magazine subject to NZ Media Council procedures. A complaint must first be directed in writing, within one month of publication, to the Massive Magazine email address. If not satisfied with the response, the complaint may be referred to the Media Council P O Box 10-879, The Terrace, Wellington 6143. Or use the online complaint form at www. mediacouncil.org.nz

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Editorial

When Jacinda announced that Level 3 would essentially just look like Level 4 with Uber Eats, I went to my room and cried and cried. I cried for the friends I couldn’t see, the scenic drives I couldn’t take, the flat I couldn’t return to and the horses I couldn’t ride. People were dying, hospitalised, trapped in violent bubbles or losing their jobs. I still worked full time, was living comfortably at home and would be able to enjoy a barista made coffee delivered to my door in the near future. I caught myself wondering why I was throwing a tantrum like a petulant child. But Jacinda’s announcement served a stark reminder that there would be no returning to normal life, because there was no more normal life. I was grieving and this grief was heightened by the imbalanced chemistry in my brain. Anxiety, in layman’s terms, is often described as the ‘fear of nothing’. We anxious souls ‘catastrophize’ even the most trivial matters, so when there’s an actual world-wide catastrophe going on, our brains melt completely. This situation is elevating the pulses of even the most mentally stable people, but we all inexplicably still go on to quash it because “I haven’t lost my job” or “I haven’t gotten sick”, like some sort of survivor’s guilt. But let’s just remind

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ourselves that this is the first time a global pandemic has hit this hard in our lifetime, so it’s natural to feel frightened for the future and grieve for routines that may never return to normal. There are always people going to be worse off than you, but that doesn’t automatically invalidate your feelings. And to all the boomers sharing those awful text posts using outdated fonts and three different layers of sepia filters reading, “Our generation was sent off to war, you just have to stay on the couch!” please kindly fuck off. –Laura Macdonald

Climbing the walls already?

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News The F*cking News 20/4/2020 Massive Magazine

Minister of Education Chris Hipkins.

MIXED REACTIONS TO GOVERNMENT ’S ‘STUDENT SUPPORT PACKAGE’ By Tyler Hambleton An announcement made by the government last week aimed at increasing course related costs from $1,000 to $2,000 has received mixed reactions from students across the country.

throughout Covid-19 visit the links below “My Studylink was raised by $50 a week or contact your student association for for the duration of lockdown, I’ve had no further details. https://www.beehive.govt.nz/release/ drama at all,” he said. Most universities have pushed forward co vid-19-tertiar y-student-supp orttheir semester breaks to take stress package government’s work so far.

There are positives within the governments and universities’ frameworks, although of their students whilst the pandemic https://www.studylink.govt.nz/aboutincreasing student debt isn’t a solution, dominates normal day to day life. studylink/news/2020/covid-19.html#null said Massey student Tessa Guest. The extra $1,000 will help students in “The government needs to shift its their time of need, although it will need to approach if it actually wants to make a be paid back as a part of the student’s loan. difference. Debt isn’t helpful.” Studylink does not allow for Tessa motioned towards the fact that course-related-costs to be used on students were already facing day-to-day accommodation. struggles before the pandemic, therefore Students will be able to apply for the extra will need more help post-pandemic $1,000 from Wednesday the 22th of April beyond what the government has offered. through Studylink. MAWSA echoed these sentiments, with The government’s student support association president Jacob Paterson package also includes continued weekly saying they were disappointed with the payments for students who can not study student support package. for a period of up to eight weeks. “Why are the students the only group Some students will also receive partial expected to keep borrowing money off the refunds for fees if their studies have been government to survive?” he said. affected due to Covid-19. On the flip side, Te Auaha barber student For more information and assistance Joel Zonneveld was happy with the

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Colombo Hall in Palmerston North.

NASTY BILL AHEAD FOR SOME LOCKED-DOWN STUDENTS IN PALMERSTON NORTH HALLS By Aryaman Parulkar Some of the 200 students riding out the Covid-19 lockdown in Massey halls are going to get a nasty surprise bill at the end of their quarantine. All residents, regardless of if they were living in self-catered accommodation or in an existing meal plan have now been moved to a fully catered meal plan.

A Massey spokesperson told Massive that 200 students had chosen to stay and more than 500 had left. The spokesperson said Massey had taken every opportunity to ensure the remaining students were safe, while still allowing contact with others that lived in the same bubble.

“A catering service is being provided to all students who normally use shared kitchens … a consent form has been sent to all residents asking them to agree to “I wish they had asked us before they this provision and the additional costs,” changed … still not sure if we’re paying for said the spokesperson. When reached for comment about being this new meal plan,” said one. “Apart from the meal plans I’m pretty charged for the changed meal plan, the happy … after I’m done studying, I’ve got Massey spokesperson said: “Students should have had discussions with my Playstation here,” the other said. residential staff and/or received a consent The residents would have preferred better form.” communication from accommodation services. Two remaining residents, speaking under condition of anonymity, told Massive that they were “still in the dark” as to whether they were now paying for the extra meals.

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One of MUSA’s flats on Morris St, Palmerston North.

MUSA EXECUTIVE HALVES RENT ON MUSA FLATS DURING LOCKDOWN By Laura Macdonald The MUSA Executive has passed a motion to reduce rent on the association’s Palmerston North flats by 50% of the usual rate for four-weeks of the lockdown period. There is also a two-week ‘no charge’ for the flat if a tenant tests positive for COVID-19 while living in the flat. MUSA President Stefan Biberstein says the plan came internally from both the executive and operations team, while the final decision was passed unanimously by the executive. “After some details were ironed out and we had a concrete policy in front of us, we took a vote and passed the motion unanimously,” he said. “Process wise, we did need to make sure this was financially feasible for MUSA. Not all landlords will be in the same position, we ask that all tenants and landlords have

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constructive and positive conversations about how we’ll get through this difficult time. Once we had a plan and a mandate our property manager was approached to circulate the news to tenants and enact the changes.” The motion was passed electronically on 23rd March and there have been no decisions made yet on whether the rent relief will continue if the lockdown is extended beyond four weeks. “However, the Executive will meet once we have more official information regarding the duration of the lockdown and make a decision from there,” Biberstein said. “It’s always been MUSA’s goal to realise the best outcomes for students, we had the ability to provide this rental relief for our tenants, so we did.”

Newly appointed Welfare Rep, Amber Anderson. Credit: ASA.

ASA APPOINTS NEW WELFARE REPRESENTATIVE By Dani Molloy The ASA Executive has voted in communications student Amber Anderson as the new Welfare Representative after Grace Amick resigned last month.

students during this tumultuous period.

Anderson will be fulfilling the role for the remainder of Semester One and the door is open for her to continue on for Semester Anderson’s co-opting to the Executive Two if she wishes, Niuelea explained. Committee occurred during the “In the short time she was here, Grace did committee’s meeting, which was held over a lot – especially in regards to Thursdays online streaming website Zoom. in Black,” Niuelua said. The meeting was hosted by 2020 ASA President, Dallin Niuelua, and was open for all ASA Members to attend. Various members of the 2019 Executive Team tuned in to show their support, including the 2019 ASA President, Meity Tang.

He added that the ASA needed someone to take over the reins from her and Anderson was the right person for the job.

Niuelua believed that Anderson shared Amick’s passion for supporting the Thursdays in Black movement – a Despite the unconventional meeting campaign across tertiary campuses that setting, Niuelua explained to attendees raises awareness of sexual violence and that the ASA wanted to assimilate promotes consent culture. He explained someone into the Welfare Representative that Anderson will continue the work that role as quickly as possible. Amick was doing while bringing her own He believed that doing so would allow the unique input to the team. ASA to remain a strong support system for Anderson has had experience balancing

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various commitments during her tertiary study and understands that a lot of Massey students are doing the same. Within her new role, Anderson hoped to “provide guidance for students in terms of looking after their overall wellbeing – not just their study.” “I plan to approach the role with a comprehensive view of student welfare ensuring every aspect of Massey Albany student life is as fulfilling and positive as possible,” she said. Anderson added she plans on a sociable and approachable face on campus; someone that students can feel comfortable chatting with, and can rely on to have their voices heard.

MY DAD’S GOT CANCER

AND I CAN’T GET HOME

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‘On the day New Zealand’s borders closed, my dad called to tell me he had cancer.’

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Home was always there for comfort, until it wasn’t.

Moving to Australia was an easy decision, made in the heat of a moment, with no attachment to days or the people in them. Home was never too far away, should I ever need it, and the language was essentially the same. But like a car crash in slow motion, the ease of making my way home for a long weekend disappeared, and on the day New Zealand’s borders closed, my dad called to tell me he had cancer. When I was a child I had vivid visualisations of my father dying. Motorbike crashes and driveby shootings. Falling asleep at the wheel after a long shift. Only when I was confronted by the reality of his mortality, the years of false alarms and close calls couldn’t have prepared me. In one moment you’re grabbing a coffee with a friend, chatting about the consequences of coronavirus, and a phone call later you’re watching your body from the outside. Crumbling, collapsing and no one around you can do anything to help. My dad had cancer and it should have been simple. Only I couldn’t return to my there-home, if

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I ever wanted to get back to my herehome, and I’ve never been too good at making calculated decisions. Grief is familiar. We’re old friends. He has been my biggest teacher, pushing me to learn and grow when I’m not ready. But in this moment, my morning isolation walk and coffee, nothing could comfort me. Six years ago I lost a close friend of mine. He drowned in Lake Union during his gap year in America. The memories we shared fade, the shock becomes more subdued. The images of his body being winched out of the water aren’t as vivid, but the moment of finding out will never leave me. The life escaped my body like it had done unto him. The weight of me fell to the floor and a scream escaped that I had no idea I could make, making its way over the Pacific Ocean desperately trying to reach my friend. I remember crawling, on all fours, trying to escape the room of horrors. As far away from the voice on my phone who broke me. But the voice caught me before I could

reach my door handle and it swallowed me whole. Finding out about dad hurt in a familiar way. Less tragic, more deja vu. I’m no stranger to losing him either, because it’s all I have ever known. I was 18-months old the first time the police took him away. Normal childhoods are spent playing in the park or watching The Lion King. The formative years of my life were spent in the visitor’s wing of Christchurch Men’s Prison. He came back soon after, but I got used to his leaving. In hindsight that may be why these childhood visualisations were so frequent and vivid. I already knew what it was like to lose a father in endless ways. Cancer was just a new one. Lately, I have been hearing that all of our self-work has been preparing us for this point, for this pandemic. The morning meditations and thousands spent on therapy. Teachings of natural health and productivity habits. Developing a richer yoga practice. Learning to cook instead of living off of takeaways. Maybe everything I had

Credit: Tess Patrick.

learnt about my childhood up until now practice that repairs broken ceramics was a means to helping me get through with gold so we can see the beauty in the wounds. And it doesn’t serve as a this. reminder that I’m 3000km away and I No matter how far I was from couldn’t reach him if I tried. everything that is my home, this tumour taking up residence in the back of his throat could be the catalyst I needed for change. The turning point for finally having a relationship with the man who gave me life. One that extended deeper beyond the surface. I found comfort in calling him. In hearing his raspy, post-chemo voice crackling between the invisible lines connecting us. No therapy or home cooked meals by friends could give me the sense of okayness that his presence could. That the feeling of home his jokes gave me. Taking me back to a childhood I never had, but always imagined. It’s fucked up. I can’t find three more fitting words to describe. My dad’s got cancer and I can’t get home. But knowing that we’ve got each other now is the very thing that makes me feel whole again. Like the Japanese pottery

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LIFE in the HALLS

Is it mentally healthy?

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â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I started to think if I died in my room nobody would notice.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

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Life in the halls can be lonely for some students. Last year’s death of Canterbury student Mason Pendrous, which went unnoticed for 8 weeks, caused national concern. Massey journalism student Kyra Warbrick asks whether our halls are doing enough to look after students.

attempt in her hall: “I wanted to party with the other students but felt I didn’t know how.

‍ couple days after reading an article A about a student who had tragically passed away in a hall in Canterbury, I received a call from my hall’s coordinator, asking how I was doing.

Salient, the Victoria University student magazine, reported that suicide attempts in their halls had doubled from 9 in 2013 to 20 in 2017.

As a resident at the Cube, a Massey Wellington hall, I was baffled to learn that the Canterbury student, named Mason Pendrous, had gone unnoticed for 8 weeks before his body was found. While the cause of death remains unknown, this incident caused a discussion around the struggles many students face when living in halls of residence, particularly with mental health. It is well known that the transition to university and living away from home for the first time comes with its challenges; students are left to find their own way in the real world, make new friends and figure out how they want to spend the rest of their lives: this has put a lot of pressure on students. In the 2018 Kei Te Pai? survey where 2000 students were surveyed about their university experiences, 28.39% students considered dropping out due to feeling overwhelmed and 20.17% considered it due to mental illness. In addition, the pressure of living in a university hall and having to face the same challenges has been found to worsen students’ mental health. Many past and present university students and hall residents have come forward to share their own experiences in the halls in relation to the Canterbury death. Stuff reporter Joel MacManus says, “University halls are a minefield of mental health problems”, and attributes it to being without family support for the first time, academic pressure and the inability to make friends. Stuff reporter Sam Sherwood also recounts the experience of a student who shared her experience with depression, isolation and a suicidal

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“I felt I was being so visibly depressed that it would be impossible for people to not notice. I started to think if I died in my room nobody would notice.”

While some students could understand how a death in the halls could have gone unnoticed for so long, other students, such as Canterbury student Sam Gibson who enjoyed hall life, raised concerns that he “wasn’t checked on.” Several past and present hall residents have commented on the lack of pastoral care that could have prevented such incidents, as well as the overwhelming pressure put on RA’s to oversee the welfare of their residents. At Sonoda Village, the Canterbury University hall where Pendrous was found, there were only 2 RAs employed to support 108 residents. This means that these RAs would have had to juggle the issues of 108 residents along with working, studying and trying to pay rent. MacManus claims, “I personally know RAs who have stayed up all night, terrified and shaking, after taking suicidal students to the hospital, who have walked in on students cutting themselves, who have held sobbing first years who just survived sexual assaults.” There is an immense pressure of being an RA and many have struggled in the position, especially when a lot of their work is underpaid. The question remains: what can be done to help these struggling students? What systems should be introduced to ensure effective pastoral care and prevent such horrific incidents? Education Minister Chris Hipkins recently announced that the government will be introducing a fine of $100,000 if universities fail to look after their hall residents. He believes that hall residents should “be assured when they choose to live in a

hall or hostel that there are minimum standards of safety and that there is support available to them if they need it.” Students who partook in the Kei Te Pai? survey made suggestions to raise awareness about mental health issues in halls and how to combat them, as well as “investigate halls of residence as causing or heightening mental illness.” University halls are believed to be where you will make life-long friends and have fun while studying. However, new systems need to be put in place to ensure the welfare of residents and limiting the pressure put on RA’s.

Jimena’s story Despite being bubbly, friendly and able to get along with most people, Jimena found herself struggling to adjust to hall life in 2018. Jimena opted to live in a hall in her first year as an opportunity to make friends in a new city and have support. “Through moving into a hall, I expected to find security and support and a secure network of friends. I didn’t have too many expectations, but I visualised a fun and sociable year.”

Massey Cube. Credit: Tristam Sparks.

Now as a second-year nursing student, she reflects on her experience in the hall in three words: lonely, isolating, and depressing.

friendly, approachable and always around to chat, she recommended that future RA’s be observant of people you don’t see often and go out of your way to be friendly and talk to them, because any small interaction could help a struggling resident.

“For most of the year I struggled to make friends. I got to know people and made acquaintances with whom I could talk to when I ran into them, but there An RA’s Perspective was nobody to reach out to and spend time with.” This affected her self-esteem This student was after a job that and drove her towards isolation and would look good on her CV, so she anxiety. decided to apply for an RA position at a Jimena believes that there were many Wellington residential hall. As it turns contributing factors to the mental out, she was in for a lot more than she health of hall residents; many fellow bargained for. hall residents had existing cases of “I thought it would be a good eating disorders, depression and opportunity to see how halls worked anxiety, which could have been and what students in high school might exacerbated by the halls. need to know before they come into a “I picked up on a few people that were isolating themselves from the hall community, either not coming out of their room, or not spending time at the halls whatsoever. All you see and hear is other hall members spending time together in the communal spaces outside your room, so there were definitely a few people who were having a tough time who I would say did not feel part of the hall community.” While she felt that the RA’s were

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hall.”

As a natural-born leader and Dux student, an RA position seemed fitting for her, however she has found that overseeing the welfare of hall residents is severely draining. “It feels like being hit constantly by a truck because you think you’ve just helped one person and then boom, someone else is suicidal, being bullied, not eating because they can’t cook or

failing a course.” Upon being asked about the prominence of mental health issues in university halls, she says that it can be attributed to the transition of moving out of home for the first time and the stresses that come with it, such as university assignments, making friends and cooking and cleaning for yourself. “Many residents have pre-existing mental health problems or university causes them for the first time, and they have no idea how to ask for help or deal with their feelings. When you add living in a pressure cooker of new people and experiences, it’s only inevitable that they will worsen. “There’s never really a break and management might say you don’t have to interact when you’re not on duty, but if you see someone upset, you’re expected to check-in. We are basically working double what is expected and lots of it is unpaid.” While being an RA has its perks, this RA believes that there are some systems established to help hall residents, the issues that they faced should be talked about more.

THE

LAST DANCE

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Credit: Josh Wotton.

121 has come a long way since the closure of their physical location and club located at 126 Cuba Street. Since the closure of the club at the back end of 2019 the team behind the madness has continued to throw raves around the city. This included two massive events in their Avalon Studios series all while planning a world-class three day festival with some of the most prolific musical acts locally and internationally. The festival was located in the picturesque South Wairarapa at the Tauherenikau racecourse. Even if you’re not attending a festival in the area I recommend you check it out, it’s a place I hold close to my heart as an adopted Wellingtonian! It’s almost a miracle that the event went ahead, with coronavirus shutting down similar gatherings around the world. Festival Director and 121 founder Olly de Salis said, “At the time of the 121 Festival nothing around New Zealand was getting cancelled, it was the Monday after it happened when everything started dropping out left right and centre and it felt like the end of the world.”

coffee from Swimsuits pop up store. Wellington locals INHOUSE kicked off the festival with their set on the festival’s ‘Odyssey Stage’ which was the festival’s main stage. Their one hour set paved the way for the numerous other acts who graced the same stage throughout the weekend. 121 Soundsystem, Aw B, DJ Boring, Nina Kraviz and Richie Hawtin held it down throughout the rest of Friday on the Odyssey Stage, offering festival goers sets that you’d rarely experience on New Zealand soil. Saturday on Odyssey saw local acts Amy Jean and Bontempo set the mood for popular international acts. Ben UFO and Jasper James kept the dancers moving in the dust until the early hours of Sunday. The other stages included Live Stage, which hosted live bands such as Mild Orange, Hiatus Kaiyote and New Zealand’s own favourite rapper Wax Mustang. The stage was also set alight by The Black Seeds, Lord Echo, JessB, Same Name Confusion, Heavy Chest and more. Looking at the diversity that the Live Stage hosted shows how the festival offered something special for all ages and for fans of all genres.

The 121 Festival was lucky enough to slip between the cracks and provide memories for the attendees about what The only downside for the Live Stage partying was like before gatherings were was Advantdales Bowling Club’s limited to your so called ‘bubble’. presence, the frontman Tom Scott injured himself so the show couldn’t go The festival hosted five stages and a on. Fingers crossed they’re present at wellness area curated by Massey ex-pat the 2021 festival! Ariel Hughes. ‘Dontbeafestivillain’ focuses on prompting better festival The highlight for myself was the Dance culture within New Zealand through Tunnel stage. The Tunnel featured acts safer partying. like Techno Tradie, Liam Todd, Name It also had a market area where you could get a mullet and drink a 9/10 The Environment Issue

UL, Eno & Dirty, K2k, Carista, Made in Paris & more on the Friday.

The Saturday in the Tunnel saw DeadBoyPosh, Rich Tea, Miosis and Benny Salvadore represent Wellington; it also saw Esther Silex, Ben Rau and others showcase international talent. Other notable stages were the Ball Room and Committee Room, both of the stages gave dancers a more personable, up close environment to dance in until the witching hours. It’s not every day that you get to see world class DJs such as Russian heavyweight Nina Kraviz and BritishCandian O.G. Richie Hawtin play alongside numerous talented New Zealand grown artists. The festival tied these two aspects together to construct a truly spectacular weekend of the arts and dancing alike. I’m sure all the dancers, workers and acts that honoured the festival with their presence are now looking back on what could have been the last festival on the earth, reminiscing on the great times they had. I know I am, I’m also still nursing my knee that popped out of its socket whilst skating the mini ramp at the festival. Despite the pain it was somewhat of a highlight and didn’t stop my enjoyment of the festival. Whilst in isolation keep your head up, remember these times and focus on getting us back to where we all want to be, dancing in the grass and dirt listening to amazing music in our own backyard. We’ll get there and I’m sure the crew behind 121 will welcome dancers with open arms once we get our shit together. For now lock into your favourite artist on the screen and get excited for what 2020 has to bring!

THE

CONSENT

ENVIRONMENTAL INQUISITION

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There is so much happening around the world; forests burning, species going extinct, oceans filling with plastic. As an average citizen of Western society there seems to be an unspoken expectation that we should be doing more. But the question is what? There is no easy way to unravel this conundrum. There seems to be a million reasons why society isn’t doing more. But then you could argue why we should be doing anything in the first place - for what is little old me supposed to be doing about gorillas in Congo being displaced because of encroaching farmland? Masters student Keil Murphy thinks the government should be playing a bigger part, paving a way for citizens and “leading by example”. But in the same breath, he says the government’s bottom line isn’t going to falter without reason. It’s a two-way street where society and the lawmakers must work for each other. “They [government] aren’t going to pull money into public transport if no one is going to use it,” said Murphy, elaborating on a strained relationship between people and buses. Pointing the fingers at Big Brother isn’t going to make the atmospheric CO2 levels any lower. So, what will? Most of the time, it seems to be fear of the unknown; fear of doing the wrong thing because we don’t know what’s right. Truthfully, I don’t know which number plastic goes in recycling bins. I just know to wash it out and take the plastic labels off. If you really want something to blame, then blame our education. The truth is we don’t know any better. BA student Paula Budd admitted to

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owning a recycling bin but having no clue what to throw in it. “We’ve got a bag in the kitchen for the plastic stuff that we think we can recycle … even the bin doesn’t have anything on it,” she said.

of being “eco-friendly”. Surrounding yourself with the brands may look great on Instagram but do we really need to be celebrating people for saying no to plastic straws at drive thru?

Honours student Nikita Skipper felt as though the sustainable movement was The lack of education could be a “just a way to make the 1% feel better scapegoat for a while, but we live in an age where Siri can tell you how far away about themselves”. The ability to make the nearest Maccas is so then how is that better choices somehow gives people the right to lord it over those that don’t, an excuse? or more often can’t. We may not realise Laziness. I’m calling everyone out, even it, but sustainability is a privilege. And myself for justice being downright unsurprisingly, society is going to use lazy. Sure, sometimes we remember that to separate us even more. “Not to take a Keep Cup to the cafe, or we everyone has the access to all these make our lunch, if we’ve got the time facilities so what are they supposed to in the morning. Unfortunately, we are do?” said Skipper. not going to go out of our way to break Money continues to rule, turning our routine for something we don’t sustainability into a purchasable lifestyle really care about. But surely the fate of by slapping a brand onto it and turning our planet and the future of human a profit to exploit the common man’s existence is worth eating vegetables a guilty conscience. Shovelling million couple nights a week. So why don’t we after million into corporations and care? charities with the bright green signs and Sweet, sweet willing ignorance will be pictures of pandas with no idea where the death of us. Turning a blind eye the money goes. Benefitting from the because it doesn’t affect us and therefore ground that’s crumbling beneath us. isn’t something worth worrying about. There have been so many questions What I don’t see won’t hurt me right? and not enough answers. What are we Great logic when hiding under your supposed to do at the end of the day? sheets from monsters, but not so much What is enough to make a difference? when talking about contaminated waterways. But you would be surprised what the bare minimum could do for the planet. Being sustainable doesn’t have to be this herculean task. It’s as simple as reusing take out tubs or turning the lights off when you leave a room or skipping the 45-minute shower. You don’t need to go out to get Sistema lunch boxes or VSCO water bottles just to buy into the illusion

However, what could help is trying. Making a genuine, selfless effort to find out more and educating yourself so you can answer whatever questions you do have. We’ve all got to start doing just a little bit more, without reward or recognition, purely because it is the right goddamn thing to do.

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Wibble Wobblinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (next page) The Environment Issue

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SAVE THE WHALES to save the world

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HOMECOMING COURT JESTER

Finn Williams

There is a restaurant in Whanganui called The Brickhouse. It seems to have been there for as long as the town, though I’ve only been there once. It was for my Grandad’s 70th birthday. My entire extended family showed up, even the ones that weren’t invited. The way I describe everything about The Brickhouse is ‘beige’. It’s beige on the outside, beige on the inside, even the food they serve tastes like beige if beige was a flavour. Now Grandad’s gone, but the Brickhouse stands. Serving the same beige as usual I presume. It’s weirdly far away from other restaurants with a reputation of mediocrity at best. But it’s kept around while more interesting and better restaurants are ignored because people are too old or just can’t be bothered to find anything new. In that way it stands as a perfect metaphor for the rest of the town. The complacency of the town angers a lot of people. But I like to say that it’s a fine place if you’re raising a family or old, otherwise it’s very boring. It’s probably why so many people smoke pot here. Speaking of which, I found my friends

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in the shed, sharing a joint with each other. They’re the real reason I’m here, it’s one of their birthdays. As I always do when I come home, I ask them what they’re up to and as they always do, they say working. Eventually we all end up inside watching Shark Tale on Netflix. The World’s End is a movie about a now estranged group of high school friends returning home to try and complete a pub crawl they failed at when they were teenagers. This was at the behest of their former leader, Gary King, who had seemingly disappeared from their lives until now. It turns out that this was probably for the best as Gary turned out to be that one guy you knew who peaked in high school. As the movie goes on the group realise that nothing has really changed since they left (especially Gary). The movie speaks a lot about what home and the people from it are like and how returning often feels strange, not because of how much has changed, but the opposite. And that night, about seven bourbons and a beer deep, though still one of the more sober people in the room, I

noticed the similarities between the movie’s group in high school and us. I start to think about what we will be like ten years from now. Will any of us even be here still? I am almost certain I won’t be. Will I still be seeing them? Will I want to see them? Will any of us turn out like Gary? Desperate to cling to the past to the point of hermetically sealing themselves in their perceived prime and never growing? I look over at them now. Two are shit talking, one is proclaiming this is the highest he’s ever been, ones basically asleep and the birthday boy is in his room throwing up. Something tells me that if any of us end up displaying Gary-like tendencies, the others will be there for them. Because as one of the characters in the movie said, ‘Real friends, those are worth living for, worth fighting for.’ A few years ago, journalist Duncan Garner published a news report on Whanganui as part of a series on small town New Zealand. He decried it a ‘zombie town’ for the amount of

deserted shop fronts along its main street, an issue that seems to not have subsided in the years since. I remember when Garner’s piece came out, people in Whanganui were not pleased, my parents included. It was understandable, they’ve lived their entire lives in this town. So seeing someone who’s never lived here come on national TV and insult the town and everyone in it, it rubbed them the wrong way. But when the story came out, I agreed with Garner’s sentiment. It was true that the CBD had been in decline for years and it did seem like nothing was changing here, people included. Everything just felt like it had stopped and had been like that for a while now. To most, this place is nothing special, much like the rest of the town. But to me, my family, and the thousands of families who have raised their children here, it is so much more than that. You may see the pet food plant at Castlecliff as an ugly white box, but to me it’s the place where my parents met. You may see the racecourse as a waste of space,

The Environment Issue

but I’ll always remember it for the time my dad borrowed his friend’s Impala to drive me to my senior ball, even if the dance was a bit shit after that. By Tuesday I knew I had to leave. I could already feel myself falling back into habits I developed of spending my days playing video games and watching YouTube (which differ from how I spend my days normally… watching YouTube and playing video games… somehow). My mum and sister gave me a lift back to the flat. As we made our way back, I’m left with the same feelings I had before I returned about my hometown. In many ways it still feels like the town hasn’t changed at all since I originally moved out two years ago. So why do I still miss it? And even though I was only there a few weeks ago, why do I feel the need to go back growing again? But then again, maybe it’s not really the town that I miss. In all of the memories that came flooding back during this trip, Whanganui is not what stirs up emotions in me, it is merely a backdrop.

CREATURES OF CHANGE

Dani Molloy

Whether you’re moving flats or moving even by moving to a new country!” countries, it’s important to shake things “When you put yourself in a new up and step outside your comfort zone. context, you’re forced to think about life and adapt to all the new things you’re Although we’re currently living in a experiencing,” he explained. “You end period of uncertainty, this won’t last up learning a lot about yourself in the forever. Personally, I’m surviving my process!” lockdown by planning a plethora of overseas trips I can go on once the Jason found that while adjusting to life pandemic is resolved. in East-Timor posed some challenges, Massey graduate Jason Woodroofe and Information Technologies student Tyron Landman are two young adults that took the opportunity to travel and step outside of their comfort zones (before we were all resigned to our couches and 10-hour-long Netflix binges).

After graduating in 2018, Jason was presented with the opportunity of a lifetime; he was offered a job working with Volunteer Service Abroad (VSA) in East Timor, a nation of Southeast Asia. Jason leapt at the chance to work overseas as he believes, “it is super important to change up your environment – whether that is with a new job, a new flat, moving cities or

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there were a lot of similarities between life in East-Timor and in New Zealand.

“I was living in the capital city, Dili, which is pretty well-stocked, so that was pretty chill,” Jason said. One challenge that Jason did have to overcome was learning East-Timor’s national language, Tetum. He also had to grapple with some pretty jarring cultural differences. “Cultural differences really surprised me in the subtle ways that they would present themselves,” Jason recalled. “Timorese are very open about death compared to New Zealanders so after just a few minutes of talking to someone they’d be telling you about their lost loved ones.”

Jason continued, “There’s no equivalent to saying ‘I’m sorry to hear that’ like we have in New Zealand. So, I was often left feeling very useless when listening to these horrible stories.” Jason also saw some incredible sights during his time overseas. One spectacle that he said he would never get used to was, “five people stacked on one scooter, boosting down the street!” Tyron also took up the opportunity to travel but took a different route. He took advantage of Massey’s student exchange program and is currently in his second semester of a year abroad. Tyron is studying at Vyrie University in Amsterdam. “I’ve always wanted to travel Europe,” Tyron explained, “And the reason I chose to study I.T. was so I could move and work in different places.” “At first, I didn’t realise that doing an exchange was an option, but after living on campus and meeting a lot of exchange students from overseas, I decided to look into it.” Tyron said that travelling has also

‘I think we generally grow up in some sort of box.’

helped him to understand people a lot better and see things from very different points of view. Like Jason, Tyron found a lot of differences between his new home and New Zealand. Some positive differences included being able to bike more due to Amsterdam’s landscape, and – of course – the legalisation of marijuana.

“But at the end of the day, you’re the outsider in that new environment and it’s unrealistic to expect everything to work for you right away – so just roll with it.” Jason said that you never know what you might see when travelling, and you should always be open to whatever crazy situations are presented to you.

Tyron and Jason both encourage all young people to take whatever opportunities they can to change up their environment whether this is by travelling, moving into a new flat, or starting a new job.

“Like, have you ever seen someone transport their entire life, wife and kids on a scooter and smoke a dart at the same time?” Jason laughed, recalling his experiences in East-Timor. “That takes talent!”

“I think we generally grow up in some sort of box,” Tyron said. “By travelling and meeting new people you are forced to consider things in different ways.”

Jason was encouraged to return to New Zealand for the current COVID-19 lockdown period. However, he hopes that he’ll be able to visit East-Timor again very soon.

Jason also explained that it’s important to keep an open mind when travelling, because you can never be 100% certain of what’s going to happen. “Don’t stress the small stuff,” he said. “There are bound to be a whole lot of things that really bug you or make your life difficult.”

The Environment Issue

making plans to explore – after these current circumstances have cleared. The world is an incredible place and we won’t be trapped in our “bubbles” forever.

Tyron is also currently on lockdown, staying in Amsterdam. Both Tyron and Jason believe that the current circumstances have in no way dampened their incredible time abroad. With the ever-changing environment we’re living in currently, consider

Eat, Pray, Fuck Tatted Twink

Piss kinks and premature ejaculation Some people look back at their sex life and aim to forget it. Others find it boring and hardly speak of it. I however embrace discussing my sex life which could easily be described as A Series of Unfortunate Events. Here are the basics; I’m a queer guy and the family somehow doesn’t know despite all the mesh and jeans so tight you can taste the denim through your asshole. In this particular weekly series, we will cover my family trip around Europe. Most family trips entail ugly photos, tours and sightseeing. My family trip did include all of these, however it also doubled as a 2-week bender, an international sex-scapade and a toupee the size of a small hamster. The third guy from London took me to the infamous Heaven club. Romantic, I know. Where none other than Shea Coulee was hosting. Starstruck, I hardly noticed my height-deficient company’s hard-on digging into my upper thigh. Following my surreal encounter, where I watched five performers bare it all in a strip off on stage, wiping each of their genitals on the stripper pole like a gynaecologist’s fever dream, we went for a dance. Now I say dance loosely as it was more him grinding as if his penis was going to burst through his jeans. As you can imagine, not exactly what I planned for my magical night but a warm body and a French accent sure as hell is a way into my pants. To my confusion and disappointment, like the iconic line in Rocky Horror buffering on 123 movies, he gave me a hug and a pash and went on his merry way at the end of the night. I can only assume he prematurely ejaculated into his pants. The last London boy was a stunning model who had the humour and sarcasm to gain my interest. His bleach blonde hair screamed crisis and his chiselled jaw suggested he had the dietary capacity of a large mouse. He offered to show me around the local gay bars. The night was going well, plenty of

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dancing, laughing, drinking and a halfhearted hand job in a bar before being kicked out. Basically, a Cinderella story if you ask me, only his penis is Cindy and my hand is the shoe. Suddenly, as swift as the races, a red flag swung down in front of me; he had a piss kink. And hey, freshly 18-year-old me was up for a lot but probably not quite that. So here I am in the dilemma of wanting to get fucked as hard as the Romans did by a giant wooden horse, but also not wanting to be pissed on. I felt out of my depth, like a straight man who hasn’t had a finger in his ass before. But of course, the convincing power of a boner is too strong, and we organise for a meet-up the next day. This particular rooting didn’t happen however as that night his flatmate, who he had pointed out was in love with him and adamantly against his hooking up with others in the absence of any relationship, had kicked him out and he had to get an emergency flight back to Milan. He’s doing well nowadays, occasionally sending videos of himself pissing on others, checking in to see how uni is going, the usual. Until next time, this has been upsettingly comedic. Yours truly, The Tatted Twink

Climate

Corner Connie Sellers

Source Checking and The Big C

There is only one thing on our minds lately; the nasty C word. Despite wanting to think about absolutely anything else, I keep finding myself refreshing the news in every spare moment until the daily statistics are released. I’m doing no favours for my mental health. This week, instead of adding to the mass hysteria, I decided to focus on the silver linings arising from our attempts to contain the virus. I have no intention of downplaying the severity of this virus, nor am I dismissing the struggles that people have been enduring during this time of hardship. I also want to stress the importance of source checking. I have seen a lot of articles and tweets being shared around on social media making bold claims of animals flourishing in cities while humans isolate themselves. You may be familiar with the claims that swans and dolphins have returned to the canals in Venice, or the enchanting story of the elephants that got drunk on corn wine and then slumbered in the tea plantation. I’m sorry to tell you, but those are all fake or fractionally true stories. According to a National Geographic article, the girl who made the now-viral tweet in regards to swans returning to the

The Environment Issue

canals said, “The tweet was just about sharing something that brought me joy in these gloomy times”. Despite admitting to her fibs, the tweet remains up because it was a personal record for her in regards to likes. Moving on…. What is true, however, is that CO2 emissions have significantly decreased. It is no secret that China is responsible for around 30% of the world’s CO2 emissions. The pandemic has had a huge impact on China’s energy demand and the attempts to contain the virus have had an astonishing effect on the environment. According to CarbonBrief, coal consumption at power plants has dropped by 36%, coal throughput at the largest coal port has fallen by 29%, and satellite-based NO2 levels have become 37% lower. Nitrogen dioxide (NO2) emissions come from vehicles, industrial facilities and power plants powered by fossil fuels. NASA have released a series of images showing the substantial decrease in these emissions across China. You are able to see the cloud of pollution disperse throughout January and February. Imagine what the decrease could be if we kept this up.

have resulted in a drop of 15%-40% in input across industrial sectors in China. These vast differences over such a short amount of time go to show that it is not impossible to reduce our emissions. We can only hope that these patterns can impart a valuable lesson by demonstrating what is possible for our future. I saw a quote which read, “In the rush to going back to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to”. It made me think about what things I can go without when everything settles. I’ll finish on this note; it is important to balance your news intake. Seek out positive news stories, they might not be making headlines but I promise they are there. But don’t believe everything you see online. As heartwarming and reassuring as it is to believe these stories, a lot of them are twisted or downright false. A quick source check before you share something onto your timeline or Insta story never hurts. Remember to stay positive, but be realistic!

Furthermore, it is estimated that the measures to contain the virus

Suffrage Tess Patrick

What a ride it’s been since we last caught up for a cuppa. I could hedge a pretty good bet that none of us saw this coming. I don’t think I’ve used the word ‘unprecedented’ as much as I have in the last few weeks. But that’s what it is. Unprecedented as fuck. And it’s become this bizarre kind of reality we’re learning to endure. But I want to offer you a single piece of paper void of Covid-19. Not to minimise how serious this is, because you’ve heard it a million times before, but because I hope to keep this space in line with its intention. A place where we debate the simpler times in politics. A place where I criticise and complain and fill you in on what’s been going on while you’ve been distracted by the virus. And no, this isn’t a column about 5G. We’re here for the petty politics. I love it, you love it, but thankfully for the good of our nation there hasn’t been too much of it of late. Due parliamentary process has taken a step back, and parties are using their better judgement and halting campaigning for the time being. The opposition even doubts New Zealand will be ready for a September election. For the first time in my liberal life, I’m inclined to agree with these right-wing voices of reason. Here’s a hot take though: maybe unpreparedness isn’t such a bad thing. We have the time to educate ourselves. To decide on what really matters, what our core values are and the country that we want to become. We can spend longer looking at policies rather than keywords on billboards. We can sit back and consider who has made good on

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their promises in the long run. No, there might not be a highly politicised race to snatch up the loose votes. Instead, we get to engage with our leaders in action and examine what all of this talk really means. We only have to glance at countries like the United States or United Kingdom to see that hyped election campaigns (particularly the dick throwing contest surrounding leadership) are the downfall of decency in government. We only have to glance at Bernie Sanders’ conceding to Joe Biden - what does he even stand for again? - to know that these drawn-out campaigns are more about personality than policy. The winners are those who know how to play the game well. Let me ask, if an election were to be held tomorrow, who would you vote for? And why? Perhaps that’s something to consider while we await the next round of sledging.

Salivate Tess Patrick

Salivate is here to help you get the most out of your measly student meals, while still making the most of your weekend.

I’ve only ever shared cooking in one flat. Being vegan, gluten-free, is kind of a cockblock when you’re looking for a chopping block to share, but in my third year, I found my soul sisters. And for the first time, my food budget was actually affordable. We made smoothie bowls in the morning, salads for lunch and hummus for snacks. Each night we would all take a turn to cook a flat meal. It sounds blissful, and for a short time it was, but we soon realised two of the girls couldn’t cook for shit. Weeks of burnt kumara chips turned to months. Passiveaggressive, “who’s home for dinner?” group texts were sent. Toasters were set on fire instigated by Buzzfeed ‘life hacks’

articles and Nutribullets were hidden in cupboards that were too high to reach. Everyone was eating takeaways, or not eating at all, and we all camped out in our rooms. Thankfully, I knew one thing that could repair any relationship in the soggy Wellington months. Soup. A cheap, vegan, soul-warming soup was just the recipe. Best served with a nice, crusty polenta sourdough from Leeds Street Bakery (not-budget-or-glutenfriendly), we were back on track to our shared Instagram in no time. This soup is as speedy as it is nutritious. Good quality coconut milk (look for the one without the preservatives on the label) can be one source of healthy

fats for the day. These medium-chain triglycerides, despite being a saturated fat, have been shown to regulate cholesterol levels and the lauric acid present has antimicrobial and antiinflammatory properties for supporting your immune system in this current virally-concerning climate. The creamy dish also feels good, nourishing and filling to eat due to the high fibre content, and we know that foods that make you feel good should be a staple in any diet. Science aside, here’s how to make the best, cheapest damn soup your flat’s ever tasted. Hopefully, it will see you through the isolation-tension.

Ingredients Bunch spring onions 1 tsp coconut oil 1kg frozen peas 1 tbsp veggie stock powder 1 400ml can coconut milk Bunch basil, and some coriander if your flat doesn’t have that bizarre genetic thing 1 lemon Olive oil Salt and pepper to taste

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1. Fill and boil a kettle while you gather all of your ingredients. Put a large soup pan with a lid on to heat up. 2. Dice your spring onions finely and sautee in the pan with your coconut oil. Cook for 2 minutes on high, or until softened. 3. Add peas, still frozen, to the pan with your coconut milk, stock powder and 750ml of boiling water. Put on the lid and bring to a lovely rolling boil. Once boiling, simmer on high heat for another 2-3 minutes. 4. Once tender, remove from the heat, add most of the herbs - stalks and all (food wastage sucks) - and the juice of a lemon to blitz the soup until creamy and smooth. Don’t try to use the nutribullet, it will explode and be the source of many arguments. 5. Serve in your favourite bowls, topped with fresh herbs, salt and pepper to taste and a drizzle of olive oil. Best enjoyed with a chunk of freshly buttered fresh bread and a big group hug.

Poetry Twenty-two I just have this constant nihilating notion, That life is sweeping along too rapidly; It’s breakfast time, Oh look it’s five o’clock. And what do I have to show for this day? My granddad once told me; Time goes faster as you get older. But I’m only 22, granddad, and I can’t keep up. And how am I to stay above the line of insanity? When everything, Yet beautiful and startling and extraordinary, Seems oh so bittersweet; Like the head of a dandelion, Floating in golden sunset, That you keep reaching for and reaching for, Yet can’t quite grasp. Like things are wonderful, And in the moment, You realise they’re wonderful, But you can’t truly feel, Like you’re soaking up all their goodness; There’s always that little niggling, That little red bell that’s dinging, At the back of your skull it whispers: It doesn’t last long. I guess I just have this feeling -Lucy Jesshop

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The Unlonely Woman To kiss or not to kiss? I find in dating sometimes we never know what we should and shouldn’t do. One thing I constantly get asked about is the ‘goodbye kiss’. When is it acceptable to kiss someone goodbye and when do we not? I’ve had one of my flatmates come home from a date or fuck-a-thon and the question that’s always asked is, “Did you kiss her goodbye?” I guess for us a kiss kind of represents something more. For example… I’ve only had two of these, but one night stands I will not kiss goodbye. Both of these happened two years ago when I was fresh out of my two years of celibacy so I purely was just craving a good fucking. I’m not one to fuck without feelings hence why I’ve not had another one since. But what about dating? When is it appropriate to and if you kiss goodbye does it mean you want to be serious with them? I have a story as to why I’m saying this. Let’s call him Bond… So Bond and I have been going on dates on and off for like six months. Great guy, he’s just a lovely guy who just makes you feel good when you are in his company. However, he’s shit at communicating and really doesn’t know what he wants but regardless I think he’s a great guy. We have never had sex just kiss a shit tonne and I think he’s gotten a titty grab in from time to time. One Saturday night in town we happened to be in the same bar and I ended up hanging out with him and his mates. One thing led to another and I ended up back at his. I’ll set the scene… We shower (wasn’t sexy at all as it’s a shower over bath type of thing and we had to take turns with the water), I hop into bed all naked waiting for him to walk in and dominate me, he walks

The Environment Issue

in and out of nowhere I’m dizzy. Long story short, Bond ends up getting me a bucket and I end up vomiting out all contents from that night. He was an absolute doll and took care of me. The next morning he’s getting ready for work, we kiss a bit, we go to leave and he goes in with the hug. I’m sorry hun but, ya good bruh. We’ve been talking for 6 months and kiss every time and you wanna go in with a damn hug. So, I looked at him and said “Bond you can kiss me, it doesn’t mean anything serious, you dick.” He laughed and he did. It was at this point I realised we all have different expectations for a kiss. I wanted to kiss Bond goodbye because I like the dude, I think he’s a great guy, an absolute dickhead when it comes to communication. I wasn’t trying to kiss him because I wanted things to get serious. Everyone’s expectations in life whether that be kissing, sex and jobs are always different. I kiss someone goodbye because I care about them. If I don’t kiss someone goodbye it’s because I don’t care about them or it just doesn’t feel right yet. I guess there’s really no rulebook as to when you should kiss but my biggest suggestion is just don’t force it. If someone doesn’t wanna kiss goodbye then don’t. Ya not on the same level and that’s fine hun.

Reviews Aryaman Parulkar

I review my plants

It’s me, your local chlorophyll caregiver, photosynthesis protector or plain old plant daddy. I’m going to review my plants because quarantine is driving me crazy and this might help you keep your little leafy ones alive for another week.

Edgar Allan Pot - 6.5/10

Ferny boi - 7/10

Colocasia

I don’t know what species he is

Named accordingly because in the first week I had him, he managed to lose two out of his three leaves in a macabre act of defiance, classic Edgar. Little did I know that it was neither my fault or his own twisted volition but in fact the lady from Fielding from who I had bought him, that had inundated him with water, making his soil wetter than all of us after lockdown. If your leaves are going yellow or “weeping”, dry that soil out or even repot it. Weeping plants will leave droplets at the tips of their leaves when you’ve flooded their basement.

Definitely one of my prettier plants. Ferns are great for vain Instagram posts and are generally a low maintenance plant. Ferns will naturally drop off older leaves as they get bigger so don’t be alarmed if the bottom of your plant be looking hella dead, it’s just making room that’s all. They like moist (I know, gross) soil but not sopping, so water them a little everyday instead of a whole lot at once. I will admit there is nothing more rewarding to see a baby koru peeking out. Melts my heart.

Patty - 10/10

Clem - 12/10

Pachira aquatica

Chamaedorea elegans

My absolute pride and joy. Never has there been an easier and more chill and laid back plant as Patty. She is big and bold and unapologetically green. Being a wetland plant means her watering regime is as intense as your (my) halfassed lockdown workouts. Like Edgar she is at risk of overwatering, but literally having aquatica in your name means you’re okay with a bit of water.

If Patty is my easy-going gal then Clem is my old boy. This palm has lived through three flats over four years and has grown so slowly, I’ve had relationships start and end in the time it managed to just open a frond. However, do not underestimate the power of the sun; obviously, it’s a plant. In the five months I’ve been in my new flat, he has grown three new fronds just from being closer to a window I can actually open. Palms are tropical so give them that good ol’ D…Vitamin D, ya nasty!

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Lockdown Tape // Big Mookie // 10/10

“I love Big Mookie”

soundcloud.com/bigmookie

SoundCloud is a platform for niche music. Artists such as Lil peep, XXXtentacion and many more have gotten big from the music streaming platform. It is the perfect platform for niche chat, and no one would know this better than recording artist Big Mookie. Pure auditory pleasure can be sourced from Big Mookie’s SoundCloud. It features mixtapes such as the aroha files, buddha chronicles and niche chat to name just a few tweats from the tweat jar. Known as ‘fresh gwease’, Big Mookie’s releases summarise the quintessential sound waves coming out of the ‘pram’ (Paraparaumu) music scene. What sets Big Mookie apart from his peers is his bold lack of explanation. Like an artist defining his stroke, Big Mookie fucks with our ear holes without our permission. Lockdown tape is no exception. A rollercoaster end to end, this is a must listen for those wishing to experience music in its finest form. I love Big Mookie.

Isolation Review - Craig Lace When isolation was announced I’d just finished work down the road from my best mate’s house in Te Aro. I rocked up nervous about what the next few weeks would look like - no partying, no barista made coffee and fuck all else. We listened to Jacinda speak about how the house you stay at the next day is your house for the next month. It was at this point that we popped a hundred dollar bottle of wine from my work and I burst into tears about how cooked this whole situation was. My best friend’s flatmates scattered back to their family homes or to their girlfriends, a privilege that only some have. At this point we also realised that he’d be alone for the next month, unless myself and another friend moved in to his. We did the only thing you would do, set up residence with your two best mates in one of their dingy flats. This came just after I moved into a new house which is pretty nice - to this date I’ve only spent four days there in total. I gave up the comfort of my new home to ultimately get on the piss with the boys for four weeks and have petty arguments about who last did the dishes or who’s turn it was to do the rubbish. I can’t lie, it’s been pretty chill, our friends thought we’d kill each other within the first week and I thought we would too. The reality has been rather different, we’ve had some ups and downs in isolation, like being broke from Saturday till Tuesday, since we end up spending our money on overpriced beer deliveries, cheap wine, cigarettes and a couple of other so called ‘essential items’ (shoutout discord). As I sit here and write this I’m graced by my friend recording his next certified banger. He just stopped and said, “Damn that was a fire take.” It was, Oliver, it was indeed. I can’t really complain about much at the moment, my life is full of long bike rides with my airpods blasting, good friends and good beer. What more could I ask for? I guess I could get on top of my university work but I’m pretty sure that is not going to happen considering it’s already week three and I’ve done nothing to date. Isolation has been a sobering reminder (whilst not sober) about the things I often take for granted in life. This includes not having to listen to my friends talk about how they miss getting laid and so much more. Hope you’ve all had a great isolation with your lovedIssue ones, see you on the other side! The Environment

Poetry Being soft is the new skuxxxx (plant plastic is atheist) Picture this: Trapped at a family gathering or a high school friend group reunion. Barbeque and beers and misogynistic jeers – or whatever it is The Bros do these days. I think Milan Kundera called it ‘The great return’ To a group with which you are no longer an ounce compatible. Then out of the corner of your ears you overhear a plastic bag snort to a compostable Proper Crisps cracked pepper and sea salt flavoured chip bag: “Why are you such a pussy, bro, wearing purple and being all compostable and shit? Fuck that, bro” he said as he catapulted half-chewed food particles from his eternally gaping mouth “Because being soft is the new skux” retorted the compostable Proper Crisps cracked pepper and sea salt flavoured chip bag. Plastic bag didn’t understand and obviously this made him very mad As stubborn as Styrofoam, he responded “But us plastics aren’t supposed to degrade in less than a thousand years, bro, we’re hard cuntz G and don’t even come at me with any of that mEn aRe aLlOweD tO eXprEss thEmseLveS weak shit, bro” The compostable Proper Crisps bag knew this wasn’t an argument worth having, wasn’t where he belonged. He bit his plant-based tongue and removed himself from the immediate situation. A few years on I caught word that he had lived out the remainder of his inanimate days in peace, in a city far away from his tumultuous hometown. He left no chip-crumb trail of scars in everyone he interacted with; however, he lived without much hope that his plastic ex-friends had ever learned to do the same. Felt occasional twangs of empathy for the poor souls affected by them. Regardless, I heard that he was mostly happy. Besides, I always imagined that when you’re compostable - like he was – it means you don’t have to cling to everlasting life. You’re not terrified by your own mortality, masculinity, You’re freed of any expectations And even if you cost a little bit more up front You taste fucking great.

-Gabriel Field (@bilerag)

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Puzzles

Gabriel Field The Environment Issue

Puzzles

Massive Magazine | Issue 04

The Environment Issue

President’s Address Annnnnnd we’re back... with a bit of a vengence. What was that shit with that so-called ‘student-supportpackage’? $1000 of more debt? Thanks but no thanks Jacinda. Students need more, we need long-term support to survive this COVIDcrisis. The truth of the matter is students have been left high and dry on this one, the government seems to think it can brush aside students, and I’ve had it, officially. I don’t mean to be alarmist, but we are having a tough time here. And they just don’t seem to get it, so lemme lay it out for ya. Here’s the situation the way I see it: Students can’t survive on $230 a week. The average rent in Wellington is now $215 for a room in a shitty three bedroom flat. We’re left with $15 a week to eat, stay warm and be merry. Not possible fam. We need a secondary income to survive. Cool, so you’re getting a student loan, not a student allowance? Well surely your parents are supporting you right? Wrong, Jacinda. Maybe you’re old, maybe you don’t have contact with your folks, maybe, like me, your folks can’t afford it. Well, in any case you are poor, you’re gonna need a secondary income to survive. For me, that looked like working 20 hours a week on top of my 40 hours of study. Great. Oh, hello there COVID :) COVID comes along and BAM. Your boss has panicked and, trying their darndest to keep the business afloat, you and your part-time job are the first ones to go. You’re now unemployed and relying only on borrowing money to survive. You’re struggling to survive Oh what a surprise, now you don’t have enough money to pay rent, or stay warm or eat. It really grinds my gears that students are consistently the only group expected to keep borrowing money off the government to survive this and this $1000 is better than nothing, but it’s a damned sight worse than businesses are getting, and not enough to keep our heads above water. So thanks for the thousand bucks, but WE NEED MORE. MAWSA, along with 43 other student unions across the country have asked the government for all students to receive a universal student allowance.

-Jacob Paterson MAWSA President Massive Magazine | Issue 04

Horoscopes This week’s horoscopes are reassurances to soothe your Covid-19 induced psychosis in the final stretch of lockdown (except for you, Taurus) x

AQUARIUS

LEO

Keep practising that TikTok, bitch! You’re a savage! Peer pressure your flatmate into nailing the Oh Na Na Na challenge next. Make sure to #fyp x

There’s nothing more powerful than the dissociative high of reverting to your child-like state, so escape the real world and re-watch Harry Potter or Twilight.

PISCES

VIRGO

As one of the most sensitive signs, you’ve been in buckets of tears throughout lockdown and we totally understand the mental and emotional strain. Building a blanket fort is a proven way to soothe the stress.

The highlight of your day is hearing Ashley Bloomfield’s perfect greetings in te reo and don’t let anyone take that away from you.

ARIES

LIBRA

You’re particularly struggling Aries because as a natural leader, you feel helpless having no power over the situation. Make sure you dominate the things you do have power over, like making your bed and doing the dishes.

Spending lockdown away from home is hard. Move the twin beds in the spare room you’re staying in together to form a cozy double bed for that taste of home you’re missing.

TAURUS

SCORPIO

We know you popped your bubble during lockdown and we’re disappointed but not surprised, headstrong Taurus.

Making plunger coffee and walking aimlessly around the house definitely equates to productivity in these times, don’t be hard on yourself for not meeting the word count on your assignment yet.

GEMINI

SAGITTARIUS

You’re easygoing and adaptable, so take the chance once we go to Level 3 to expand your bubble and take in someone vulnerable.

As a free-wheeling vessel of freedom, it’s been hard for you to adjust to living under your parent’s roof again. Get your olds raging drunk so they can’t smell the smoke you’re blowing out your window after 10pm.

CANCER

CAPRICORN

As a naturally dependent sign and having been separated from your significant other during the lockdown, take it as an opportunity to reflect on how badass you’ve been on your own for four weeks!

The Environment Issue

Stop letting the daily Covid-19 case updates determine your mood for the day. Open your window and get off RNZ.

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Massive Magazine | Issue 04

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The Environment Issue

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Massive Magazine | Issue 04