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News What’s This About a Merge? Massive’s Infamous History Centrefold Multi Level Marketing Generation None Neurodiversity at University Culinarylingus Sexcapades We’re Going on a Man Hunt Horoscopes Snaps Exec Columns Puzzles 22
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EDITOR Caroline Moratti
PHOTOGRAPHERS Callum Parsons, Lia McGuire
SUB EDITOR Jamie Mactaggart
ILLUSTRATOR Tallulah Farrar
NEWS EDITOR James Pocock STAFF WRITERS Cameron Taylor, Elena McIntyreReet, Rimu Bhooi, Lia McGuire, Ari Prakash, Mason Tangatatai, Courtney Hammond DESIGNER Micah Davis-Rae
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The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages of Massive do not necessarily represent
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Editorial
WHAT IS THIS? A RE O-WEEK FOR ANTS?
Welcome back to Semester 2, kicking off Re-O Week here at Massey. But don’t get too excited just yet. In case I don’t moan it loudly enough during sex, I actually studied at Otago. And sure, I didn’t actually attend O-Weeks and Re-O Weeks (sorry to break it to you, but anyone who works in student media is secretly a massive nerd), yet the option was always available to me. I loved the thought that if I wanted to go to a DnB rave, I could! I want my rights, dammit! But looking at Massey’s line up this year, it’s pretty dismal. Re-O Week, or fuck, even O-Week for that matter, is a sober affair that resembles a middle-aged food festival more than a university fuck-fest. It’s not just a Massey problem, sure. The golden age of foam parties and UV lighting is long gone, banished to the dazzling early 00s where student execs still had golden coins within their vaults. But other universities around the country ARE doing cool, drunken things. Otago is hosting gigs with lineups like Wax Mustang, Mild Orange and Lime Cordial, whilst Auckland is doing a battle of the DJs. What’s Massey doing? Dog patting, snow cones, pool parties and movie nights. Sure, all well and good for a 12-year-old child. But for university students, it’s apparent that it’s just not enough. I love a good dog pat, but give me that alongside a party where I can do tequila shots off a hearty pair of testicles or tits. I honestly believe that the student execs are probably doing their best with their limited amount of funding and money. I’m also not a (total) idiot, I know that clubs in towns also hold events during Re-Ori. But with Massey LITERALLY rejecting students because the University has reached max capacity, the old tag-line of “oh, we’re too small to give you a student shop or host a party” is getting pretty fucking old. Go on, throw an old dog a bone. I want to throw up in a university bathroom and feel alive. In this week’s Massive we look back at the glory days of, you guessed it, Massive. It’s heartening, weird, and a little bit naughty. It’s also a good sneak-peak of the glory days of universities themselves. We used to have a plenitude of student bars throwing wicked affairs, not just bad cafes that close at 3:30 (seriously, what’s up with that? It’s not like student suddenly stop wanting coffee at that time). There were pool tables, all-night ragers, cheap jugs aplenty. Oh, how far we’ve fallen. This year, Covid-19 during O-Week got us down bad. Gigs were cancelled in Manawatū and Albany, whilst Wellington only carried on through piggy-backing off Victoria University. But Re-O Week is a chance for redemption! Too bad it’s aimed at primary school children. Hope you guys like finger painting. X Caroline
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR EMAIL EDITOR@MASSIVEMAGAZINE.ORG.NZ TO HAVE YOUR SAY Dear Massive i hate my boss she always makes me do more than what i signed up for including writing stupid news. what can i do to make her life just a little bit harder every day? appreciate the forthcoming advice xx jamie mactaggart (this is @you caroline) Hay -I would like to know you Editors’ response: Wait. Come back. I want to know you too, mysterious spam email guy. Please. Hi pocket
lovebite.nz
Editor, please help me, I can’t stop watching love island!! I’m so scared for when uni starts up again. How the FUCK am I meant to get any work done when there’s so much drama happening each night?? Okay sure, this season is kinda shit but I’m still hooked. Think I might have to drop out of uni to make way for the real love in my life To Massive I’m so attracted to Fergus the Ram like...I’m scared of my own thoughts. Please take your Facebook post about him down because I can’t stop looking at it late at night he’s so sexy to me and I know it’s wrong
MASSIVE NEWS
Re-O Week looks to resemble a children’s birthday party Gee whiz, a pool party! Okay but where’s the foam and UV parties, anyone?? JAMES POCOCK
NATIONAL NEWS
As the second semester kicks off, Massey’s student organisations are holding events to celebrate the latest excuse for a piss-up on the student calendar. From 12-16 July, MUSA, ASA, MAWSA and M@D will offer a range of activities every day for ReOrientation Week, the O-Week for Semester 2. Highlights of the MUSA events include a movie night, pool party and social. Oh, and a “Breakie and Hot Choc” because we’re all seven years old, apparently. At least my primary school was generous on the mini marshmallows. One student, Ben, says “Yeah, kind of looks shit, not gonna lie. Nice for some, sure, but not really my vibe.” Another, Simon, says he just plans on going to flat parties instead, and is even looking at flights down to Dunedin. Meanwhile, MAWSA’s O-Week boasts dog petting, a quiz night and an Art and Sip night. M@D will be having two movie nights, a video and photo competition with a $50 voucher prize and a scavenger hunt on their new Stream site. You know what, I’m actually not mad about this one. ASA President Ben Austin says ASA will be doing a snow and winter themed event called ‘Sno-Week’. He says, “Alongside our regular sausage sizzles, we will be giving away snow
cones as well as lecturer vs student competitions. We will also have cheese toasties, waffles and a bouncy castle. On the Thursday and Friday night, AMESS will be hosting a “Bear Pong” event and a Winter Rager party.” MUSA and ASA will both have Clubs Days on 14 July from 11am to 2pm, while MAWSA will have theirs on the 15th from 12pm to 2pm. More information can be found on the Associations’ respective social media pages and websites. Distance students can also access Re-O Week information directly through their new Stream site. Some events you need to RSVP for, so maybe...do that? Idk, I’ll just be sitting here wishing I went to Otago, let’s be honest.
Massey is no longer accepting ANY new domestic students for the rest of the year Idk why Massey is so popular but it frightens me CAMERON TAYLOR
NATIONAL NEWS
Massey University has closed all applications from domestic students for Semester 2 and Summer School 2021, with both study periods now at a full capacity. Students who have already received an offer of place, and students currently enrolled to continue their studies, will not be impacted. PhD and doctoral students are also an exception, with applications continuing to be accepted at this level of study. This decision is due to fears of breaching government enrolment limits that place caps over funding. According to Vice-Chancellor Professor Jan Thomas, Massey has experienced extraordinary demand for its NEWS
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flexible learning opportunities, with most qualifications seeing a “growth in enrolments” across “all levels of study”, notably Bachelors in Business, Arts, Design, Nursing and more. Thomas admits that this demand is “driven by the current COVID-19 environment, where New Zealanders are looking to upskill,” and that it’s important for Massey to continue to deliver high quality learning within their funding allocation. Massey University is required by the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC) to stay within 105% of its funding allocation. Forecasting showed that if applications had not been closed off, Massey would have exceeded their Student Achievement Component (SAC) (i.e., governmentfunded EFTS) threshold and reached 109%, which is 4% more than the 105% limit. Yes, Massive can do maths. The SAC for Massey has been consistently rising since 2017, and gaining an even quicker speed in 2020 and 2021 due to the COVID-19 environment and a demand for flexible and online learning. However, Thomas assures that the decision to close off applications is “purely in response to our funding cap being reached and not a change in our drive to support ways for all New Zealanders to learn”.
SLA merger delayed concerns by Massey
after
Take your time babes, it’s not like anyone cares anyway CAROLINE MORATTI
NATIONAL NEWS
Despite months of promising that student execs will merge Service Levy Agreements (SLAs) at the start of the second semester, the merge has now been delayed until September after concerns were voiced from Massey. The SLA merge would mean that, where each executive previously submitted different proposals for funding from Massey and received different funding accordingly, the executives would now submit one combined SLA and receive a pool of funding. The four student executives initially submitted a proposal to Massey that involved ASA receiving all the SLA funding, and then divvying it amongst the executives. However, MAWSA President Tessa Guest confirms that Massey expressed concern about ASA being tasked with this much financial responsibility, so “we mutually decided that it would be in the best interest of our associations to hold the agreements as they currently are for the next few months” (AKA, it was delayed). Kinda funny considering this merge has had 10 years to materialize. The executives now want the contract to be held by Massey University Students’ Association Federation (MUSAF), not ASA, however MUSAF isn’t currently in a position “to hold the contract”. Tessa says they are in the process of
recruiting a staff member to hold this contract alongside each of the presidents. If you want to know more about the SLA merger, flick ahead in the mag to read our run-down of what the fuck any of this means.
Students passwords
forced
to
reset
Hang on, so “password123” isn’t good enough for you?? JAMES POCOCK
NATIONAL NEWS
Massey will be automatically resetting all student passwords that have not been changed since a recent security breach. A Massey spokesperson says the reset of outstanding student passwords is scheduled for 8am, July 14. “Students who have not updated their password since the incident would need to contact the university to have them re-established.” The spokesperson says over half of students have already changed their passwords. Massey University first sent out an email on June 16 recommending all students change their password as soon as possible. The email stated the Information Technology Services team had become aware of unusual activity on a computer in the Massey network which was possibly a crypto-mining attempt. PLEASE, let it be dogecoin, I beg of you. The Massey spokesperson say they have no further comment on the incident or its cause.
Distance Stream finally up and running Amazing news! We love to see it JAMES POCOCK
DISTANCE NEWS
Distance students now have access to their own Stream site through their Stream dashboard. The Massey @ Distance (M@D) Stream site officially launched on July 1, ready for over 13,000 students. The site is designed as a forum for online communication between students better suited to them over other methods that had been used up to that point. NEWS
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The first official announcement for the service was in April but the final release was delayed until July “because Massey needed more time on their end” according to M@D Co-Presidents, Jacalyn Clare and Jax Watt. Distance student Hamish thinks a resource like this has been a long time coming. “From what [I’ve] seen, [it] seems to have a good amount of content... with what resources we can use and what’s available to us. The only issue I found with it is that it seems to be a bit too wordy in some places on the page.” While this is a big step forward in improving online accessibility for Distance students, upgrades will still be a while coming for M@D’s actual website according to the co-presidents. “We had been waiting to see what happened with SLA negotiations, to see if there could be alignment of any services (including graphic artists, web designers/developers, web providers, etc.,) to get a new website,” they said. They admit they dislike the website and are aware it is not popular among students either, promising to have it changed before the end of their term. “We know the website looks bad and is the bane of our existence and we want it changed ASAP, but we also want to do it right on the first try,” they said.
Society (M@D). Based on this clause, they decided to completely restructure the Board by adding new board positions and not filling old positions which represented regional areas of New Zealand. “These [regional positions] will be changed in S2 when we update the constitution to be more in line with contemporary student associations in NZ. This will help us to represent students more effectively,” Jacalyn and Jax said. The removed positions were Upper North Island Representative, Lower North Island Representative and the South Island Representative. Despite efforts, they were unable to find Māori representation for the Board. “We are beginning to talk with someone who can give us support in this area until we are able to have it filled either through elections or opt-in process,” they said. While they haven’t yet provided a plan for an updated byelection process for the future, the co-presidents say improving the Constitution and the election process both remain two of their top priorities.
Distance Exec fills up vacant Distance’s General Manager board seats without student vote position is no more Awh, did you want a by-election? Too bad! JAMES POCOCK
DISTANCE NEWS
The Massey @ Distance Executive Board is complete again for the first time in six months. After mass resignations left several vacant seats, M@D officially announced on June 1 it had promoted one current member and elected four new board members. Former Upper North Island Representative Sean Cardiff will now be M@D’s new VP. Victoria Caccioppoli was elected as the new Education Officer. Tina Morrell was elected as the new Wellness Officer. Josh Wharton was elected as the new Equity and Welfare officer. Steph Allan was elected as the new Treasurer. The new executives were shortlisted and voted upon by the Board alone (so essentially, the two co-presidents and Sean Cardiff), outside of election time. Distance students will not get a chance to have their own say on the roles until the next elections at the end of the year. Comparatively, other student execs have held by-elections to fill in vacant positions in their executives; allowing students to vote for their candidates instead of leaving it to the discretion of the board. You know, like a democracy. M@D Co-Presidents Jacalyn Clare and Jax Watt say they followed the process laid out in the M@D Constitution for filling board positions outside of election times. They also say the Constitution states the Board can decide to act against the Constitution if it is in the “best interests” of the
MUSA 2.0, anyone? CAROLINE MORATTI
DISTANCE NEWS
Jaqueline Eade, the General Manager of Massey at Distance (M@D), has chosen to take a voluntary redundancy from her position. The position will not be refilled, with Jacalyn Clare and Jax Watt, the Co-Presidents of M@D saying “it became increasingly more evident that there was no need for a General Manager and the work she did could easily be absorbed by the association”. Jacalyn and Jax told Massive, “The association has one employee and no permanent or major assets. We do not require a General Manager and this has been clear for quite some time. It was recognised that this position would likely be downgraded or removed in the future through single SLA negotiations.” Eade says, “I agree with services being streamlined. We were an entirely remote organisation and when communications fell over for the last time we were not able to stand them up again. This is because there were many changes going on and the environment had become too complex to navigate. I believe all parties went through a significant amount of stress as a result of this.” She expresses her gratitude at the Distance association because “there I developed skills that I would not have otherwise. I hope my involvement gave students support during their study. I am a Massey girl through and through and wouldn’t be where I am today if I had not started my study with the University.” NEWS
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This is the third General Manager to have left various Massey students’ associations this year after the departure of MAWSA’s and MUSA’s GMs. The student associations seem to be gearing up for an upcoming merge, despite no promises of that merge ever actually becoming a reality, especially if student consultation is negative.
Both MUSA’s Distance student advocates resign
MUSA Education Officer Alex Johnston gets the boot in brutal AGM Alex: “Fun MUSA with pizza, ginger beer and gigs got really damned mean all of a sudden.” JAMIE MACTAGGART
MANAWATŪ NEWS
Not good news for Distance students, great new for drama JAMIE MACTAGGART
DISTANCE NEWS
Both of Massey University Students’ Association’s (MUSA) Distance student advocates have resigned, one after the other. Izzy Mickleson, Distance Advocate, announced her resignation on June 22, shortly followed by Distance Student Engagement Coordinator Callum Goacher’s announcement on June 23. Callum was unable to comment, due to still being under contract, however it is worth noting his vocal support for Alex, MUSA’s Education Officer, during the AGM where he said “I am the only operations staff person currently working on a huge class reps programme here at MUSA. Alex is the only person who can actually help me do my job, and I am already overworked.” Alex then received a brutal vote of no confidence, which probably didn’t help with Callum’s whole “overworked” situation. Distance Advocate for nearly three years, Izzy said she chose to resign “because the values of MUSA no longer align with my own. I have wanted to leave Palmy for some time now, and the changes that took place at MUSA just sped up the process of taking that leap.” No sunglasses needed here, babe, Izzy’s got all the shade. President of MUSA, Fatima Imran, didn’t have much to say about the resignations other than “they decided it was their time to leave”. In the interim until MUSA fills their positions, Fatima says “MAWSA is helping us out (meaning they will take the Distance cases) until we have hired a Distance Advocate to fill that position”. Izzy’s role is currently being advertised on Seek, and MUSA is hoping have a new Distance Advocate early in Semester 2. Massey @ Distance (M@D) Co-Presidents Jacalyn Clare and Jax Watt have expressed concern about the two resignations, but “have been in regular communication with MUSA to understand how MUSA will be supporting Distance students”. M@D will be involved in the hiring of the new Distance Advocate, and will ensure Distance students remain supported during this time. M@D still oversees group Distance advocacy, and are able to support students via their helpdesk, new Stream site, and said group advocacy. Good luck team, lol.
In another very dramatic turn of student politics, MUSA Education Officer Alex Johnston was removed from the Executive during the recent Annual General Meeting (AGM). Alex received a majority vote of no confidence during the AGM, with only three students present against the motion. The motion came after Paris Tait, Kaiāwhina (Vice President) of Manawatahi (Massey Manawatū Māori Students’ Association) proposed the vote of no confidence. “I don’t understand what your role is, you haven’t backed up what you’ve done so far,” she told Alex, alleging a lack of cohesion between him and his team. Allegations of disengagement between Alex and Manawatahi were repeatedly highlighted during the AGM. “We were fighting for our voice to be heard,” Paris claimed, “even though you were meant to be representing us.” Alex said he understood where the criticism was coming from, recognising “a hell of a lot of improvement” needed to be done. However, despite his plea for “just a little bit more time”, the motion was passed and the vote of no confidence saw Alex out the door. Alex, devasted at the result of the motion, claimed that the fact it even happened was reflective of a larger systemic issue in MUSA, and the Massey community in general. “The way the motion was raised against me as Education Officer and me alone seemed rather unfair. I believe that given the chance myself along with the board could have worked together to move forward with much improved NEWS
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communication not only with Manawatahi and the Māori students on campus but also with the MUSA operations staff and each other.” Yikes... just take the L, Alex.
than six people”. The previous fale also wasn’t accessible to students, due to students needing to go through the complicated process of getting a swipe card verified.
President of MUSA, Fatima Imran, told Massive of the importance of student-led accountability, adding “myself and the Exec, our thoughts go out to Alex and we wish him the best with the rest of his university career”.
Aniva-Storm and Arizona want to emphasise that, even though the PSS space is associated with Pasifika students, it will be a space welcome to all Massey students. The fale will be opened officially soon, stay tuned for more updates.
Egg Project aims to raise money Albany’s carpark for Massey Child Care Centre vaccination centre Never has news sounded so delicious
So basically...slightly less parking?
CAROLINE MORATTI
JAMES POCOCK
MANAWATŪ NEWS
used
for
ALBANY NEWS
A local Palmerston North business, The Egg Project, has stepped in to help fundraise the $25,000 needed for a new fence for Massey’s Child Care Centre. The fence would allow for a current green space to be used safely by children. Love that! Pip Chrystall, Project Hatcher (lol), says “We created The Egg Project in 2019 as a fundraising initiative to get local, eggceptional fresh, ethically produced eggs to more people at an affordable price, and to be able to give that middleman margin back to the community for fundraising.” She sees this latest fundraiser as “a fantastic idea for the children”, having attended Massey herself, alongside working with the Massey Child Care Centre in the past. “We sell the eggs to you at an eggcellent rate of $5.50/dozen for Free Range and $7.50/dozen for certified organic and give back $1.00/ dozen sold. You can buy them as ‘One Offs’ or set up an ongoing subscription,” Pip says. For people wanting to get involved, sign up via The Egg Project website and use the unique code ECE-013 to get your hands on some delicious wee eggs.
PSS set to open fale in old Unimart space Is Albany...finally doing something right? ARI PRAKASH
ALBANY NEWS
The empty space of Unimart in Albany is set to make an exciting transformation into the new fale of the Pacific Student Success (PSS) Team. The President of the Massey Albany’s Pasifika Students’ Association (MAPSA) Aniva-Storm Feau, and Treasurer, Arizona Haddon, told Massive that the goal of the fale is to “create a place where Pasifika people can feel seen and create connections and community in that space” alongside a space to study and talk about study-related concerns. Unimart was forced to close its doors after COVID-19 related difficulties, so the new use of the space has been welcomed by many students. MAPSA has gone through two new fale in the past year. Aniva mentioned that one of the previous fale in the Quad A building had “no windows, running water or proper airflow” and that it “couldn’t fit more
A new vaccination centre will temporarily reduce student parking on the Albany campus. The Auckland District Health Board (ADHB) has leased the parking area at Gate 5 on the Auckland campus for a vaccination centre that opened on June 22. Massey says, “The ADHB will police this area themselves and may turn away or tow any vehicles parked here.” The vaccination centre is located at the end of Oaklands Road, on the Massey Albany campus. It is open all day weekdays and closed on weekends. ASA President Ben Austin says while some parking has been reduced by the centre, it’s ultimately for a good cause. “When it is time for Massey students to get vaccinated, they can also go here to make things easier and more convenient.”
NEWS
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MAWSA Welfare Officer resigns MAWSA joins coalition calling after previous pay reduction for a free public transport trial for Awkward! students JAMIE MACTAGGART
WELLINGTON NEWS
Please...everyday my Snapper card inflicts a heavy financial blow CAROLINE MORATTI
Jordy Katene, Welfare and Equity Officer of the MAWSA Executive, formally resigned from her role on 11 June. The resignation comes after MAWSA voted not to accept Jordy’s quarterly report earlier this year. Tessa Guest, MAWSA President, previously stated the report “didn’t provide adequate detail to imply that [Jordy] had fulfilled their duties”. As a result, the Executive voted for a period of reduced pay of 50%. The pay reduction was intended to last until 14 June, at which time the second quarterly report was due and the pay reduction to be re-assessed. Jordy resigned before the quarterly report was received by the Executive, citing having too high of a workload and not being able to make time for MAWSA as her reasons for resignation. She declined to give comment to Massive. Tessa said she had concerns that Jordy’s second quarterly report wouldn’t be substantive enough to be accepted by the Exec anyway. “I can’t confirm that a vote of no confidence would have been called … Because she resigned before the Executive received the report, I can’t confirm what the outcome would have been.” MAWSA will hold a by-election to determine the new Welfare and Equity Officer. Nominations will be open from Monday 12 July until Friday 16 July. Following a campaigning period, voting will then be open from Monday 19 July until Friday 23 July.
WELLINGTON NEWS
Massey at Wellington Students’ Association, along with other Wellington organisations, has launched a petition calling on the Government to fund a trial of free public transport for Community Service Card holders and students in the Greater Wellington region. Neat! Tessa Guest, MAWSA President, says “Pōneke is becoming a less liveable city every year, and the cost of public transport plays a huge role in that.” The coalition has sent an open letter to the Minister of Transport, Michael Wood, alongside a petition and a call for letters from all those who find public transport inaccessible or unaffordable. In the open letter, they ask that fares for all Community Service Card holders and tertiary students be free across all times, including on-peak hours, and applicable for trains, buses, cable cars and harbour ferries. The coalition also asks that the pilot programme begin no later than June 2023. “This is an essential move for students who face unaffordable living costs in the city, foregoing basic needs and services in order to use public transport,” says VUWSA Engagement Vice President and campaign spokesperson Grace Carr. “The government is funding a similar trial in Auckland next year. Wellington people deserve something similar.” Katherine Blow, VUWSA Campaigns Officer and campaign spokesperson, says “Accessible public transport is important for equity and climate action. That includes fair pay for our bus drivers, which we fully support.”
NEWS
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WHAT’S ALL THIS ABOUT A MERGE? LET’S BREAK DOWN WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WORDS BY CAROLINE MORATTI
Have you heard the news? Massey’s four student associations are considering merging. This is a BIG deal and will potentially change the face of Massey’s student associations as we know it. The whole thing is confusing as fuck, largely due to the fact that there are actually TWO different mergers being discussed. Yeah, we know. To help un-muddy the waters, Massive has put together this handydandy guide to everything you need to know going forwards. FEATURES
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THE SLA MERGE WHAT’S THIS? An SLA is a service-levy agreement. Basically a “I will do/have done this” in exchange for funding from the University to keep those services operating. Every year, the associations submit an SLA and in exchange, they would get money to continue doing lil barbeques and whatever else they do.
WHAT’S CHANGING? Basically, Massey was like fuck off, that’s too much paperwork (in politer terms, I’m sure). They asked that the four different execs to merge their SLAs into one, just submit that to Massey, and then Massey would submit back a lump sum. It would then be up to the execs to divvy it up amongst themselves.
WILL THIS GO AHEAD? Yes. It was initially meant to go through at the start of second semester, but that’s been delayed (lol) until September. This has been something that has been in the works for over a decade, and doesn’t require student consultation since it’s about the operational side of things.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Generally, less paperwork. Maybe more equitable funding? For example, Massey at Distance currently receives the lowest amount of funding, despite having the biggest number of students under its wing. However, if they start receiving more money, that might mean less for more traditionally wealthy associations such as Albany or Manawatū. Awkward!
WHAT DOES MASSIVE THINK? It’s hard to care too much. Is it kind of weird to merge funding before you even merge as an entity? Yeah, kinda. Also, whilst it’s nice that the University is giving more autonomy to associations when it comes to funding, it ALSO seems like it could become messy when you leave a bunch of execs to fight over funding between themselves. Quick...someone better get another merge going!
THE ORGANISATIONAL MERGE (or as we like to call it: The Big Daddy Merge)
WHAT’S THIS? When the student execs got together to discuss the SLA merge, they thought, hey wouldn’t it be neat to merge as one giant organisation? So, they released a press release letting students know that they’re thinkin’ about it. There’s been no solid plans made so far, with just generic language saying how this merge could unify “four siloed voices” of the organisations, blah blah.
WHAT’S CHANGING? Honestly, who fucking knows. Nothing has been decided on yet!
Firstly, let’s hope for everyone’s sake that the names go. Right now, the four execs are called: MUSA, M@D, ASA and MAWSA. Fucking confusing, right? ASA shares the same acronym as the Advertising Standards Authority and is dangerously similar to AUSA (Auckland Union Students Association), whilst making no mention of Massey in their name. The name M@D just well... scares me. In an ideal world, these would merge to become something simple like MUSA Wellington, MUSA Distance, etc. Secondly... maybe staff? Right now, all the student associations have various levels of staff, from general managers to secretaries and events coordinators, and so on. However, with the voluntary redundancy of MUSA’s and MAWSA’s General Manager and M@D’s General Manager entering into a redundancy agreement, it kind of makes sense that, if a merge were to go ahead, they would hire just one GM instead of four. Would that also mean the loss of other staff? Maybe, but the associations would be sure to try and downplay this aspect, and the staffing restructure might take years before we get a clearer picture of the new association. Execs are a much trickier part of the merge. Would they establish one super exec that everyone around Massey votes for? Potentially but unlikely. I’m betting that individual execs will stay the same, to provide for individual campuses, with operational staff being shared between them. Having one president to rule over all of Massey seems weird and like a lot of work. But never say never! The thing is, there’s so much ambiguity here, and a lot of work left to go. What will happen to websites, logos, constitutions etc? What about Massive and Radio Control? (No, seriously, what about us??) The good news is, the execs have already stated that this is “an opportunity to build an association that honours Te Tiriti with genuine co-governance” so hopefully Māori and Pasifika associations will get a better, and bigger, seat at the table than they currently do.
WILL THIS STILL GO AHEAD? It’s up to you guys! Without positive student consultation, no fucking way. This is a BIG change, and so will take its time to go through various processes of consultation. If students are like... nah, then it won’t happen, don’t worry! But, if students are promerge, then expect to see more developments to come.
WHAT DOES MASSIVE THINK? This is... complicated. On one hand, you have potential for the execs to be stronger together. They’ll have more power, influence and money if their resources are all pooled, which could benefit students with the services that associations provide. This is genuinely a good thing considering how lacklustre some of the execs are now and the services they provide (just think of Massey O-Week as an example compared to Otago). But it is a lot of power for just a small select group of people to wield. With all the instability of this year, from several exec members resigning to staff being made redundant, it seems like unsteady waters to be building a ship on. There’re a few controversial figures in execs that, frankly, I don’t trust to chair a meeting let alone lead a oncein-a-lifetime merger. For now, we’re watching frantically on the sidelines for any updates.
OKAY, BUT IF YOU HAD TO GUESS: This is all wild speculation, but let’s take a stab in the dark. FEATURES
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DEBAUCHEROUS, DEFAMATORY & DOWNRIGHT DAFT
A History of Massey’s Iconic Student Mags WORDS BY CAROLINE MORATTI Massive is an institution, a way of life. Sure, we don’t have a Wikipedia page (that’s a hint, by the way) or our Twitter password, but we have a long and glorious history. Today, we’re going back in time to look at the highs and the lows of this shitty magazine and its predecessors. Massive only formed in 2012. I know. What a great year. Zac Efron got a YOLO tattoo, Gangnam Style dominated the dance-floor, and moustache tattoos were weirdly a thing. In the midst of all this crazy, sexy chaos, a legend was born. But also not really. The birth of Massive meant the collapse of local campus magazines, such as Satellite (Albany), Magneto (Wellington), Off-Campus (Extramural) and Chaff (Manawatū). These guys all merged basically because of VSM being introduced in the end of 2011. What’s VSM you might ask? Only the worst fucking thing to ever happen to student associations. VSM, Voluntary Student Memberships, was a bill passed by National and ACT, the bastards. Previously, all students were automatically part of student associations, with the membership added to their student loans (of around $150 per student) for health, welfare, and general student services. Under VSM, you guessed it, student membership was now voluntary. Unsurprisingly, this meant a huge decrease of funding for student associations, and subsequently student media.
CHAFF Chaff is the oldest of the bunch, dating back to 1934 before Massey was even a university! Sold for six pennies each, the Manawatū-based paper ran thrilling exposés on sheep farming in Canada and other such shit. Delightfully, it’s all old-timey speak, chock-a-block with spelling mistakes since the whole thing seems to be typewritten by hand. At most points, the narrative voice is just a flowing stream of consciousness with no thought of editing or journalism. Take for instance, this fucking charming passage about sports in 1934: “It is with pleasure - not deferred - that we note that several of the more energetic of our members taking vigorous exercise in the form of runs and jerks. Football it must be - judging by the attire, that’s being prepared for, and that’s hot work is’nt it Bill?….Never-the-less these boys have set things moving, and we hope to see as the cold weather sets in - pardon continues, more of the lads out in an endeavour to loosen up the old muscles. We want a Wow team this year, so atta-boy Bill.”
Chaff’s first issue 1934
I’m speechless. And strangely, horny. The magazine was pretty political for its time, which makes for somewhat dry reading about Marxism and tax invasion etc, but it definitely had its scandals. Oh, and during the war it was called “The Horse’s Neck”, which is random but cute.
Chaff’s last issue 2011 FEATURES
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I just thank God every day that we’re not publishing Massive during wartime. What would we write about? 10 ways to make a dildo from your limited rations?
This comic prompted a workers strike that resulted in the whole staff of Chaff getting fired in 1979
In 1977, two whole issues in one month were dedicated to “the proper preservation and placement of bicycle racks”. Which, hear me out, was a contentious affair. If you’re ever wondering why the fuck there’s so many stairs on the Manawatū campus, apparently the Vice-Chancellor at the time was so opposed to cycling on campus that they were strategic measures to obstruct cyclists. Chaff reported at the time that “Paraplegic ramps are kept to a minimum because bikes use them too, thwarting the purpose of the steps. Any cyclist who has found crossing the campus difficult and wondered why can now see it was a deliberate policy.” Isn’t that the most fucked thing ever? Allegedly the VC’s gardeners were also hiding and damaging bikes, and students wanted more bike racks around campus. This all led to walk-outs, mass rallies and students
even occupying the VC’s office. In 1979, a column called “The exploits of Runny Babbit” managed to get the WHOLE of Chaff’s staff fired, after a satirical photo of students vomiting up cafeteria food created a worker’s strike. The University was left to cater to 800 hostel students, who were bussed into restaurants in town for a feed. The actual cartoon itself is kinda weird, and follows the narrative of “Runny Babbit” (a rabbit, if that wasn’t obvious) running into the Student Union Building, finding vomiting students who are moaning “what shithouse food! And for the price!” The students then spot the rabbit, attempt to cook him, but Runny Babbit manages to escape by…shitting everywhere. The whole building fills up with shit, and the last scene is Runny gloating “Lick my ass, you student trash!!” Yeah. It’s still just unbelievable that EVERYONE was fired. Like imagine being a random copy-writer, getting fired for an editorial decision about a cartoon you had nothing to do with. I would be livid.
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In 1992, the magazine was forced to issue a front-page apology (which is RARE, normally we just print corrections a page or two in, in the ‘biz), after a noticeable period of absence. The apology reads: “In the edition of Chaff of 27th July 1992 we reported that the MUSA Bar account for the six months that ended 30 June had a debit balance of more than $20,800. The report claimed that, the bar manager, Bernie Quin, was unable to account for the missing $20,000. This claim is incorrect, Mr Bernie Quin at all times had available information to account for the funds under his control. We apologise to Mr Quin for any adverse reflection on his character and at all times there was no evidence of transgression by him.” That, ladies and gents, is the equivalent of getting caught with your dick in your hands. VERY awkward and very much defamation-worthy. Oops! Tom Scott, a columnist and writer, was even threatened with blasphemous libel (publication of material which exposes the Christian religion to vilification, ridicule, and contempt) during his time at Chaff. If the court case had gone ahead, he would have been the first to have been sued under that charge since WW1. However, Chaff always settled (boring!).
Chaff Issue 20 1992
In 2006, Chaff published a cover featuring Chairman Mao superimposed on a woman’s body in a spoof of Cosmopolitan Magazine. “Commupolitian” featured subheadings such as “Chairman Mee-ow!”, “237 ways to conform to mass standardisation whilst staying fabulous” and “I set myself on fire in Tiananmen Square and lost 137lbs!!” The publication incited protests from students, who argued that the cover was racist and likened to mocking Jesus. In the end however, Chaff refused to apologise for the cover, with the news editor saying the publication “received hundreds of emails both condemning and supporting their decision” to run the front page.
SATELLITE Satellite, in Albany, started out in 1995 as a tabloid, before moving to a magazine for 1996 and 1997. These issues mostly involve incredible full-page absurdist comics such as “How to Cook with Super Chickenman”. This is just, honestly, mind-blowing content, including brilliant quotes such as “Super Chicken Tip for the Day: If you pluck the chicken it won’t taste as dry” and “Oops, I mistook my handsome chickenlike hand for my dinner”. I fear in all my years of writing, I won’t ever achieve such dastardly genius. Oh Satellite, you flew so high, my friend. It was a good time. A time where Scholars was a bar, not a cafe (I know!). But, alas, in 1998 and 1999 the magazine was relocated as an insert for a local community rag, the Shore News. Only at the end of 1999 did the magazine once again become independent and on campus, with a trial run on a “shoe-string budget” (some things never change for student media, bless) and only four pages to its name before eventually growing.
Satellite Issue 1 1995
Satellite was wacky, like a kid in class that sucks on their hoodie drawstrings, but that you also know would be good at oral sex. In 2004 they ran a piece on the rules of The Air Guitar World Championships. This piece included such gems as “The instrument of an Air Guitar player must be invisible” and “An Air
Guitarist may play an electric guitar or an acoustic one - or both”. In 2005 they just kept calling their readers “Dirty Pirates,” for no reason! Wacky! Mostly, the sad thing about Satellite is seeing Albany in its heyday. One issue in 2007 presents a guide to O-Week that describes copious amounts of drinking and and pissing up. Flash-forward to now and the atmosphere is…anything but. Sure, Covid-19 largely wrecked this year, but let’s be honest, it wasn’t like ASA had anything that exciting lined up in the first place. What once was debaucherous fun is now just slightly inappropriately-titled food festivals (and using the word festival is being generous). Like literally, the title of 2007’s Orientation was “Prepare to have your Ass shaken, not Stirred” with dubstep and hip-hop line-ups. This year’s? “AmigO Week” with a Chilli Chomping Competition. Never mind the slight cultural-appropriation vibes: where’s the piss-up, where’s the fun?? Student media reveals to us how past generations of students used to live, and how greatly we have fallen as a result.
What is it Satellite and chickens??? Issue 13 2010
OFF CAMPUS Off Campus was for distance students, called extramural students back in the day, and ran from 1995 to 2011. Previously, in 1975 there was a newsletter called EXMSS. The newsletter was more exec-propaganda than anything actually student-led, but it did have some great Garfield pictures interwoven throughout the drivel. Back to Off Campus. Off Campus was a little bit less naughty than the likes of Satellite and Chaff, with mostly prouniversity takes. For example, their first magazine included several pages of farewells to the Vice-Chancellor Dr Waters, calling him a “revolutionary” and all that boring nice stuff. Yawn. Nowadays, Massive just Facebook stalks our VC to find out what weird pig pages she’s liking (more than you think!). Off Campus was definitely aimed at a more mature readership, no swearwords to be found for miles. Think something along the lines of Metro or North & South, and you’ve got yourself a magazine. I scoured issues to try and find something funny, to very little luck. In 2006 they declared “Sleep - always the poor cousin of sex in the bedroom is now ‘in’, sexy, ‘the new black’”. That’s as close as they ever got to talking about sex, in an article literally advocating to go to sleep instead. It probably helped that everyone involved in the magazine was very much a grown-up. For example, the editor in 2005 had more than 30 years of journalism experience behind her belt! 30 years! To get this job, all I had to do was burp the alphabet backwards. Honestly, I just feel bad for distance students now having to read this smut. Sorry guys. Love you.
MAGNETO/MAGNET Magnet was a pretty high-quality newspaper, with fun tags-lines like “I don’t like Mondays”. Sorry, just Garfield references really get me, you know? I have no idea when it started, because unlike the other magazines, Massey has none of these little guys in their digital archive. From our own shoddy collection, I’m taking a stab at early 90s, but could go as far back as the 70s.
Off Campus issue 1 1995
Off Campus issue 11 2006
Magneto issue 4 1999
Magneto issue 1 2000
MASSIVE
ISSUE 11
MAY 17/2021
THE SEX ISSUE
Massive issue 1 2014
Massive issue 11 2021
In 1995, Wellington apparently had a big hacky sack problem, so much so that hacky-sackers were asked to refrain from playing inside buildings and near cars and property, or else face “a suitable punishment…found for those who transgress the law.” Oh, and there was also a bar (presumably where Tussock is now) called Blue Fish bar. They advertised HEAVILY within the magazine, claiming to have “the cheapest jugs in town” alongside an air-hockey machine and a SuperPool table. Oh lord, where did we go wrong? Seriously??? How did we fuck up this much? Other very 90s stuff includes a smoking room inside Massey, an ad about warts and lots of articles about the birth of the internet which made my skin crawl. Somewhere around this time, the newspaper changes its name to Magneto, which I absolutely adore! Mag-neato! This is where the newspaper starts to get a little bit funnier, although the line between what’s satire and what’s not is mind-boggling. A 1999 listicle called “Essential Rules for Men” boasts tidbits such as “Never refuse a beer without a medical certificate”, “Never trust a man in white pants” and “If asked any questions regarding the appearance and attractiveness of your girlfriend, say nothing. Simply leave the area smartly without explanation.” Perhaps my mind is melting but…I’m not sure if that’s satire. White pants are kind of sketchy! 90s humour is very much dad ManCave signs. It makes me want to wear tight jeans and pretend I know about sports. In the 2000s, Magneto becomes a glossy mag, filled with the essential Y2K think pieces on snowboarding, George. W. Bush and Paris Hilton. Shout out to 2004’s “Dictator of the Month” column and their thought-provoking piece on the mystery of why women insist on having toilet seats down. However, their drug and alcohol issue is very noticeably…anti. I think a large problem with old student media is a prevailing mindset to publish what adults want to hear, with students acting as more of an afterthought.
MASSIVE In 2012, Massive was formed on the graves of its dead siblings, which is always a fun way to start a magazine! First released monthly, Massive eventually evolved into fortnightly and covered all of Massey…which is a LOT. Things began okay, the logos were all shit but honestly what do you expect from a design-heavy university? 2014 was the 80th year of independent student media at Massey, but instead of celebrations, Massive was hit with, well, a massive blow. The magazine was forced to move to digital-only due to funding difficulties from yep, you guessed it, VSM. A request for funding from the University was declined, due to Massive “not having the desired impact on its students”. A fitting cover with the words “That’s all folks!” broke the news. Thankfully, in 2015 Massive came back in print, mostly thanks to student complaints and hard-working staff behind the scenes. We also had an app for a short amount of time but I have no idea what happened to it. Let’s just let sleeping dogs lie, shall we? It was 2015, even Kendall Jenner had an app or two.
But before we kick back and celebrate, let’s just get it out of the way now: 2016 was NOT a good year for the magazine. In only the second issue back, the cover featured an illustration of a naked female student grimacing whilst reading a Psych 101 book. A hand is tugging her hair and grabbing her buttocks. Whilst the image accompanied a story around sex work at university, the illustration itself seemed associated with sexual violence rather than sex work. The editor at the time told Vice, “One of the women in the story mentioned how the men were so sheepish [about soliciting sex] that they kind of whispered to her “do you mind if we do it in doggy style”? So, the whole thing was to have her in doggy style looking bored and studying at the same time.” The editor refused to pull the issue but instead a “Trigger Warning” sheet was placed over covered stands, and a diversity panel was installed to prevent shit hitting the fan again. The same issue also received three Media Council complaints for a satirical article entitled “Massey University bans ginger students for 2017”. In the article, it claimed “gingerness is a contagious disease which can be spread through sexual fluids and bodily contact” as well as being associated with inbreeding. It was just a bit weird, and the whole vibe from 2017 is somewhere along the lines of trying to be funny but just…failing. Sorry guys! Things hobbled along with no big controversies and now we’ve reached the present day. 2021, my dirty pirates! This year the magazine was made weekly instead of fortnightly, so you can get your filthy little mitts on a load more content. I really like what we’re doing. It’s sexy, it’s fun, hopefully a bit thought-provoking. But, if I’m honest, as much as I love Massive, trying to cover three campuses alongside distance students is hard. And that’s not just me being lazy (although I am extremely lazy). Quite simply, as much as we try, it’s just hard to cover news and culture over such a big area on such a small budget. We’re inevitably going to miss things. It also brings up awkward questions about how much you should cover on one campus, when 75 per cent of your readership won’t care. Every day, I have to stop myself from shit-posting something nonsensical about Wellington, because I know those up in Palmy simply wouldn’t give two shits, or the other way round. There are older distance students that hate our content around drinking games and drugs, but there’s also young freshers in halls who love it (I mean, well, hopefully). Don’t even ask me what we’re going to do around exec election time, with 15+ candidates for each different association. I don’t know! It terrifies me! Simply put, it’s a shame that we lost some pretty fucking great student magazines. R.I.P. Chaff, Off Campus, Magneto, and Satellite; our fallen soldiers. But Massive is here, and we will continue to rock your world. Semester 2, here we go.
MASSIVE
CAUGHT IN THE MLM TRAP
A LOOK INTO THE TOXIC WORLD OF MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING SCHEMES AND HOW THEY’RE TARGETING STUDENTS WORDS
CAMERON TAYLOR ILLUSTRATION
TALLULAH FARRAR
Who else’s DMs are filled with those girlboss queens from your old high school, saying things like ‘hey babe, you would thrive in this business where you just sell products, get healthy and make money from home’? Most likely, many of our readers have received a message like this. My friends, these messages are an indicator of someone involved in an MLM scheme. I would know, I WAS one of those ‘girlboss babes’ in everyone’s DMs. Here’s a quick run-through of what an MLM scheme is. MLM stands for ‘multi-level marketing’, set out in a pyramid structure where financial payment is made by recruiting new people. The earnings made through a pyramid scheme essentially funnel from the people on the lower levels, right to the person or people at the top. Promises of ‘never having to work a 9-5 job again’ and gaining ‘financial freedom’ lure new recruits in, serving to make the top of the pyramid fuller and richer, while the lower levels scrape by. Students are prime targets for these types of schemes, because generally, the majority of us are broke. After paying rent and bills, most of our student loan is gone, with the leftover spent on the essentials (two-minute noodles and a couple boxes of piss for the weekend). Of course, when we hear phrases about financial freedom, working from home on our own schedule to work around our study commitments, and having the potential to earn beyond our wildest dreams, we are HOOKED. However, there’s much more behind the scenes than they let on. Keira has been approached by multiple MLM schemes since high school. However, unlike many students who fall victim to the pyramid format, she did her research beforehand and dodged getting sucked in, saying, “You pay money to join, and really, you’re just selling overpriced products with average ingredients.” The amount of money I spent on products was WAY more than the money I made from recruiting others. But in order to stay on the programme a n d continue recruiting others for financial gain, I had to spend a certain amount of money per month on products. There is SO much I spent on those products that I truly will never get back, roughly purchasing a minimum of $235 worth of product a month. I struggled every month just to make ends meet. I’d have to borrow money off my parents, promising that I was going to make bank from this business, which ultimately never happened. I’m not the only one who suffered financially from an MLM scheme. While Nelly wasn’t personally involved in an MLM business, she had to watch one of her closest friends Alex get sucked into “a quick way of making money”. With Alex being a student and a new mama, she wanted to “make her own money and also lose weight after having a baby”. Alex became so obsessed with the business, she actually ran into debt because of it, with Nelly describing it as “heartbreaking” to see. That brings in the other factor that lures students in: WEIGHT LOSS. The physical benefits they promise you from the products is a foolproof way of recruiting others, with Carla telling Massive how FEATURES
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“the promise of weight loss, glowing skin, and endless energy sounded amazing” when she was approached by someone involved in a scheme. Diet culture and fatphobia is so rampant in our society, women everywhere are willing to do almost anything for a quick weight loss remedy. With toxic stereotypes, such as the ‘Fresher 15’ indicating excessive weight gain in your first year of university, the pressure to get slim and stay that way is stronger than ever. Like Keira said, the products are usually overpriced and contain average ingredients, despite being marketed as the pinnacle of health. Not to mention, many of the schemes advertise these physical benefits as 100% guaranteed. For Markie, this couldn’t have been more wrong. As a student struggling with weight loss, she dived right into an MLM through buying a start-up box in order to drop a few sizes. “I was literally looking for anything… it popped up as this new 30-day thing that will make you drop the weight and I didn’t.” Keira also said she almost bought the biggest subscription after seeing “how much people would lose and how fast they would lose it”. A highly promising programme guaranteeing weight loss in only a month? Who wouldn’t be locked into that? Not only did Markie stay at the same weight, but she ended up COVERED in an abundance of rashes, causing her to stop the programme as “the products were making me sick”. When she told her team about how she was going to quit the programme after these horrific side effects, she noted how the people involved were “toxic” and the environment was “pressurizing” because they always wanted more. Again, the pressure from these schemes is also something I experienced, as you are constantly told to advertise the programme, as well as to message EVERYONE you know trying to persuade them to join. I also felt super guilty if I didn’t stick to the ridiculously limiting programme that made me STARVING all the time, because it was getting in the way of a ‘better, healthier future’ as my team would put it. If you’re putting yourself financially on the line every month, obsessing over weight loss, and constantly pressured to recruit new people and make more money, your mental health can quickly decline. Only a select few truly make it to the top of the pyramid and can live sustainably off the income they receive. Not everyone loses the weight that’s expected through the programme, with some people reacting terribly to the ingredients, like Markie and her rashes. A lot of the time, you just end up losing a lot more money than you’ll ever make, wasting money and time on a programme that also may not give you the physical benefits that were so unrealistically expected. I have leftover products stacked up in my shelves that I can barely look at. The eating habits I developed, the self-esteem that plummeted, the obsession with weight loss, the huge amounts of money lost, the toxic environment I contributed to. Just looking at those supplements and protein powders brings back all those memories. Luckily, I wasn’t too deep in the scheme, therefore my financial situation wouldn’t suffer terribly once I quit. But I can’t lie and say it wasn’t difficult. I felt like a failure, and I was afraid of putting on the weight I had lost, even if it was lost unhealthily and obsessively. Fast forward to now, I’ve never felt better, with better eating habits, less of an obsession around my weight, and more self-confidence in my body than ever before. Getting myself out of that toxic scheme was the best decision I ever made. Watch out for the ‘boss babe’ ladies that pop into your private messages. The awareness around these schemes is increasing, but sometimes, there’s still that small urge of temptation. That voice saying ‘maybe this programme is legit’ or ‘maybe I really CAN make a business out of this’. My advice? Take it from someone who has been there, done that: DON’T EVEN TAKE THE RISK. Find other alternatives, like making an Only Fans or an old-fashioned lemonade stand. ANYTHING that isn’t an MLM scheme, I’m begging you.
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Words by Lia McGuire
GENERATION NONE The awkward gap between Millennial and Gen Z Boomers, zoomers, millennials, Gen X, you know the drill. Words ascribed to generations of people to define their experiences, upbringing, attitudes, and whatever the fuck society was up to when any given person was growing up. Headlines like “Millennials are ruining this expensive and unnecessary industry” and “Baby boomers are totally justified in calling young people lazy” are pretty commonplace these days. Even Gen Z is making a name for themselves, usually in unsavoury ways. But what about the middle children? With the last year of millennial babies debated as anywhere between 1996 and 2001, what the fuck do we call this halfway generation? Growing up as a pre-9/11 baby means early 20-yearolds just don’t quite fit into the expectations of any generation. They’re children of the Internet, but like, dialup internet where you had to hang up the home phone to make a Google search. Severely lacking serotonin but no money for the avo toast to get it. Cell phones at age 11, but Doodle Jump was the height of the phone-gaming experience. There are people you went to high school with that own their own homes, some that haven’t left home, and most of them barely surviving in shitty rundown flats. With such a range of experience, how do we define this generation? Massive spoke to three students all in this Generation None about where they feel like they sit. Grace, a ‘99 baby and a fourth year at Massey, said they felt like they leaned “more towards millennial”. They were raised as a millennial with their older brother with a “very ‘90s influenced childhood”. Grace says their feeling of connection with the millennial generation came from activities and games. “We had a PS1, Nintendo Game Boys, Tamagotchis and a cheeky cursed Furby or two.”
“Janet feels embarrassed of the zoomers sometimes when they eat laundry detergent or some shit.” On the other end of the spectrum is Janet, a 2000 baby who feels closer to Gen Z. Apparently, Janet feels “embarrassed of the zoomers sometimes when they eat laundry detergent or some shit”. However, most of the time, they’re “pretty impressed with how communityfocused they are”. Janet believes Gen Z kids are all in the same boat: “We don’t expect to ever own a home or have a secure liveable income.” Rangimarie, however, doesn’t feel like she fits in
anywhere. She debuted life in ‘98 and feels “older than Gen Z but also like a baby compared to the RAWR :3 folk”. She feels like kids in this middle generation have an era of their own and a unique experience that can’t be quantified as one or the other. She says that some of the things that make this generation its own are “Doodle Jump, Ripsticks, Jenna Marbles, Vine, iPod Nanos, the live-action Scooby-Doo flicks (hello Velma), eating Raro out of the packets, and other kids snorting it”. Classic.
“Some of the things that make this generation its own are “Doodle Jump, Ripsticks, Jenna Marbles, Vine, iPod Nanos, the liveaction Scooby-Doo flicks (hello Velma), eating Raro out of the packets, and other kids snorting it.” When asked about how they felt about the generation they don’t align with, there were some mixed responses, but no one seemed to be a big fan of millennials. Janet thinks, “Millennials are shitcunts. They think they’ve got it tough, but most have houses and full-time jobs. They’re so individualistic. It’s a sad life when you focus only on yourself.” Rangimarie was concerned about both of the options. She thinks that “millennials appear more fullyfledged in life because a lot of them have kids or houses of their own... Gen Z humour is so chaotic it makes me miss the security of YouTube back in its glory days. I think, in general, all of us are just tired.” On a slightly more reflective note, Grace seemed tired of the hate for ‘young people’ handed down from one generation to the next. They put it down to “older generations blaming us or telling us we’re overreacting to problems that they created. Gen Z is pretty courageous and well informed when it comes to speaking out on social and political matters. You can definitely see a positive shift.” While there are many shared experiences of 96-01 babies, there is just too much variation for one unifying definition. The only thing you can do is find similarities to nearby generations and pretend to belong there. So which generation are you? Do you want to be lumped in with people already turning 30, or are you happy standing by the kids who spend a year eating dishwash liquid? Massive took the guesswork out of it. FEATURES
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Neurodiversity at University How the tertiary experience fails to cater for mental-health issues in the classroom Words: Elena McIntyre-Reet
Okay, we all know university isn’t easy. Getting assignments done, sitting exams, taking feedback and those damn participation grades (!) make for a difficult experience for anyone. But let’s face it, university is largely a system designed for people with perfectly functioning neurotypical brains. For anyone with mental health issues, the tertiary experience can feel like a bloody, uphill battle against a rigid, outdated institution. The lack of clarity on what services are available to students, and the lack of resources behind these services, means that students are often forced to struggle in private. Sure, all of New Zealand’s major universities offer support for those struggling with mental health issues, which is normally covered under their disability support services. Despite this, students are often faced with long wait times, ineffective counselling or do not feel comfortable reaching out at all. Not only this, but the very system of university is archaic and outdated for modern learning and modern issues. Massive delves into the struggles of neurodivergent students at Massey, and what they feel needs to change.
“I would always pull through with a good grade, but I struggled hugely with motivation and procrastination, as well as huge stress as due dates approached.”
Olive is a fourth year student whose been struggling with mental health issues since she was in first year. She’s aware of student support available for those struggling, but feels that, mostly, the outreach for these services are targeted at people in a complete state of crisis, who need the services urgently. Olive feels that the existing support could be improved when it comes to students who are
“high functioning”. These students are still technically performing academically in their studies, but behind closed doors are struggling hugely with motivation and dark thoughts, which makes achieving these results a total fucking battle. “I would always pull through with a good grade, but I struggled hugely with motivation and procrastination, as well as huge stress as due dates approached,” Olive tells Massive. In the end, she reached out for the support she needed and still struggles, but not as much. “The anxiety is still there, but I don’t cry over 10% assignments anymore,” she says. Olive thinks problems like severe procrastination and motivation should be taken more seriously, as it’s not always an easy fix for a lot of people, and could be indicative of a more significant problem. “I wish there was more encouragement for students who are not necessarily struggling in a critical condition, and that those who are more high functioning, but not in a state of crisis, were encouraged to reach out for help from their university health services.” Problems with motivation, focus, and procrastination are experienced by people who struggle with any kind of mental health issue. The structure of university is an extremely difficult one to navigate because of its reliance on time management and working to strict deadlines. This becomes even more difficult when students don’t know where to turn for support. Marie was officially diagnosed with ADHD in July last year, but feels like she’s had the disorder long before any diagnosis. After going through the tedious process of getting diagnosed through the public system and fighting with her psychiatrist for a diagnosis, her academic struggle was finally recognised with a professional diagnosis. Marie thinks that the structure of her courses is far from an ideal environment for her to work effectively, saying “Having ADHD makes it super difficult to succeed with the way that uni is structured. All of my classes are three hours long and I can’t physically sit through a three hour class let alone stay focused and actually learn while I’m there. After the first hour I find I’m unable to listen and just zone out. So I miss out on valuable learning, which I pay for!” In terms of support, she wishes there was FEATURES
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more guidance from lecturers during her studies. “I know that we’re adults and are responsible for ourselves, but people with ADHD don’t possess the same self-discipline or executive functioning skills as neurotypical people. If a lecturer reached out, even something as simple as an email, my ADHD brain would be enabled to stop relying on my own willpower to be motivated and not feel like I was doing it on my own,” Marie says.
“Compulsory attendance is still something that pisses me off about the structure of university. Sure, I won’t show up to class but I’ll still do the work. Mark me on my work, not my ability to drag myself out of bed in the morning.” There are many parts of uni that complicate the process of getting a degree for many students struggling with mental health. One of them is compulsory attendance and participation grades. For many students struggling with depression, this can be a real bitch. “Compulsory attendance is still something that pisses me off about the structure of university. Sure, I won’t show up to class but I’ll still do the work. The work might be shitty and done the night before but at the end of the day I still did it. Mark me on my work, not my ability to drag myself out of bed in the morning,” one student, Caroline, tells Massive. The way university is set up makes it seem like there’s only one way to learn and it involves not constantly having to battle your own will to live. It’s designed for people who have their shit together and are motivated enough to show up at 8am to listen to a middle-aged white dude talk about something you could learn from a YouTube video, from the comfort of your bed. “Universities need to support people with different learning styles rather than trying to make them fit into a mould that doesn’t fit their mental health,” Caroline notes. Grace is a fourth year student and has found her average marks have taken a hit because of her inability to keep up with participation and attendance grades. “I’ve had classes where there’s like a 20% participation grade, and the lecturers drill into you that it’s not enough to just show up, you have to engage, debate, express your opinion in front of your class of 30 something to get those marks,” she says. “I was going to the lectures and listening to the material, only to receive my first ever fail grade because I didn’t participate. It’s pretty bold of them to assume it didn’t take everything in me to get dressed and shower and just show up, let alone contribute in front of a class full of people. At that point in my life I didn’t want to be alive let alone discuss critical media theory with 30 of my peers. It’s hard when you’re trying so hard in class but
get tripped up by something you can’t control,” Grace notes. The way mental health issues manifest can be vastly different for everyone. Anxiety isn’t a cookie-cutter shape! Yvette, a Massey student notes, “In terms of my anxiety, I will either start an assignment straight away because I want to make sure it’s done in time, or struggle to start it because I don’t know where to start and realised I’ve fucked it up, so it has a really unpredictable impact on my work ethic.” Meanwhile, Grace feels like her depression has a huge impact on her ability to study and her grades. “If I start something super late and it turns out shitty then I can blame it on the fact that I left it to the last minute, whereas if I really work at something and don’t get a perfect grade I really beat myself up. So in that way it impacts my studies hugely, I don’t even know what my work would look like if I didn’t produce my assignments from my lowest point, I’d probably be a professor by now,” she says. Jean, a fourth year student, notes that her study plan often goes off track when she becomes overwhelmed by her anxiety. “It’s so irritating that I have to take time out of my study to do breathing exercises and stop myself from having a panic attack over my uni work.” Obviously, University’s aren’t completely unaware of the mental health problems that students deal with and they do have some options available. Massey’s Disability Services page for mental health issues guides you to book a counselling appointment at Student Health. In theory, this is excellent because it’s easy to find and you can book by filling out a form. Students who have utilised this service, however, note that it’s not as simple as asking for help and just getting it straight away. Most major universities have a huge wait time for their free counselling services. It’s no secret that New Zealand mental health services are grossly underfunded, and the only way students can access counselling is when it’s provided for free on their campus. The huge wait times can be hugely discouraging for students looking for support. Caroline notes that at her uni there was a six week waiting period to see a counsellor. Even if you end up seeing a counselor there’s no guarantee that it will work, as it’s common knowledge that the effectiveness of talk therapy is only seen when patients connect with the person they’re seeing. Students can finally work up the courage to seek help, wait six weeks, and then not even get the support they need in the end. “Universities need to fund these services better in order to cater for students, especially given the increasingly high rates of depression and anxiety in these age groups,” she says. God knows we pay enough money for it. You can book an appointment with a counselor through the Massey website or by calling your campus’ student health centre. Lifeline: 0800 543 354 Need To Talk?: 1737
FEATURES
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Y L D R U J 3 DAY 2
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CULINARYLINGUS
H O T C H O C O L AT E T O W A R M YO U R S O U L BY ARI PRAKASH
I don’t know where I got the idea for this hot chocolate recipe. Maybe someone mentioned it in a conversation? Is this something I saw on the internet? Do I have any original thoughts anymore?? I don’t know, but I’m glad I found it. It’s warm, it’s comforting and boy, it tastes good. I’ve seen other ways to make hot chocolate that are much richer because some people like it thicc. But I found this way is nice and creamy also you can control the sweetness! The best of both worlds.
INGREDIENTS •
• • •
Baking chocolate (if you’re vegan, just use cocoa powder instead, vegan chocolate is a real bitch to melt) ¼ tsp vanilla essence ¼ cup brown sugar (optional) 1 tsp cinnamon
• • •
½ tsp salt ½ cup of milk (whichever kind you like) ½ cup of cream
• • • • • •
Toppings (Optional but Highly Recommended): Whipped cream A wafer Caramel or chocolate sauce Cocoa powder Tiny lil marshmallows (:
METHOD 1. In a medium-sized pot, add as many squares of baking chocolate as you like, cream and vanilla essence over medium heat keep the heat low, so the mixture doesn’t start to boil. 2. Sift in the cocoa powder, salt and cinnamon. I know some people add instant coffee
powder to it, but dammit I’m a soft bitch; I like my hot drinks sweet before I go to sleep. 3. Sift in the brown sugar if it’s still not sweet enough. 4. When done pour the mixture through a sieve into any mug you’ve got to catch any lumps that haven’t mixed in properly.
5. Add desired toppings. Marshmallows, whipped cream, caramel sauce, all of the above if you’ve got a strong sweet tooth. Or you can go all Ned Flanders and add all the recommended toppings with a burnt marshmallow on a wafer (I still think about that scene all the time). COLUMNS
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Sexcapades X-Rated Adventures of the Massey Underbelly Episode 13: Ignorance is Bliss
Got a confession, a naughty tale, a sexy story? Email sexcapades@massivemagazine.org.nz to submit yours xoxox Living in Rotorua as a bi teen I had a few experiences with girls but never really tried anything with other guys. Fifty year old men on Grindr weren’t really my cup of tea. So you could imagine my excitement at moving to Wellington, the gay capital of New Zealand. My older cousin was hosting a party at his musty Aro Valley flat, and I decided to tag along. It was wild, everyone was getting absolutely hammered. They all seemed to already know each other though, so I wandered outside and met this tall dashing blonde guy who was literally the hottest guy I’d ever seen. Surely he wouldn’t be into me, but he was just my type and I wanted to see if it would go anywhere. Sadly this chick was completely wrapped around his muscular arm. They seemed to be together. After a while of chatting she offered me a dart and shit got really interesting. This girl seemed to be really into me, making crazy eye contact, extremely obvious flirty jokes and finding every possible excuse she could to touch me. Don’t get me wrong, she was pretty hot, but I was way more into the guy. I wanted him to absolutely rail me and she could definitely tell. One thing led to another, we all got extremely drunk and once the party wrapped up she offered if I’d like to go home with both of them. I was a little nervous but why would I to pass up an opportunity like this? Eventually we all ended up in his bed, us guys on each end of her body. It was pretty hot but I couldn’t stop
looking at his massive dick. I was so hard and didn’t care about anything, I just wanted him to break my fucking back. I grew some balls and grabbed his dick giving him a mean blowy while the girl sucked me off. We all did many things that night but rest assured, I found it very hard to walk the next morning. I woke up extremely hungover and waddled downstairs. His mum had invited me to stay for breakfast. She was absolutely lovely and welcoming, which I thought was a little weird given that there were three of us who had all obviously fucked the night before. Maybe she was just used to her son and his girlfriend having regular threeways? Everything became clear after one snarky comment from the mum to the girl. “Wow *****, you’re so much nicer to your brother when he has friends around.” WTF! I was so shook and knew I had to get the fuck out. I was absolutely horrified and made some quick lame excuse about an overdue assignment to leave this incestuous fucking household. I found out later from my cousin that they were actually step siblings, but didn’t dare mention the fact that we all fucked. I’ve heard that Wellington is an accepting place, but I didn’t realise it was THAT accepting.
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We’re Going on a Man Hunt
Spinster woman seeks desperate man By One Less Lonely Girl I turned 23 a week ago and I haven’t had a boyfriend since I was 17. And let’s face it, everyone knows that high school relationships don’t even count. If you’re having to use condoms that your parents gave you, then it’s basically the primary school equivalent of looking after an egg for a day. What is this? A relationship for ants?? But, if we’re being generous, then that’s still six years. Wow! Six fucking years. Let’s not psychoanalyse that too much, shall we? But if I had to take a stab in the dark, there’s a few reasons for my spinsterhood I can think of. Firstly, I was just really depressed during uni, lol. I’m putting the lol to add some much-needed comic relief. I could barely get out of bed, let alone get dressed up to talk about cryptocurrency over a halfpint of craft beer. When I started to get better, well, then I was just lazy. My life is fine! I have my little TV shows and my little amusements, I didn’t really feel the need to date. And honestly, I still don’t. But I’m 23, all my friends are in relationships, and Massive needed a new column, so here we fucking are. The things I do in the name of journalism, folks. My type of guy is pretty simple: he should be somewhat awkward. If I’m honest, I hate it when someone is upfront about liking me, and yes, this is definitely something to explore in therapy ten years down the line. It’s just uncomfortable, and presents me with an immediate question: do I want to date this man? Which, when you’re lazy, the answer is often no. I much prefer the whole not-knowing aspect of it all, the will-they-won’t-they game that comes from too much time watching Nora Ephron movies. If he’s awkward, he’s less likely to give the game away in the first innings, it adds a bit of mystery to the whole thing! Then next on the list is funny and a bit self-deprecating (I’m a bit guilty of negging when I’m trying to drunk-flirt, so he can’t get too offended at my very shit humour). I don’t really give a shit about height (I’m short) and everything else is kind of a given in the Wellington scene (liberal, wears nice sweaters). So, in this column, we’re going to explore the ups and downs of trying to find a boyfriend. Let’s face it, mostly downs. But you never know. From Tinder to speeddating to sad supermarket signs, I’m going to be trying everything in pursuit of a Sunday BF.
First up: Omegle. Okay sure, I’m really fucking easing myself into this, but let’s face it, I’ve already wasted half of this column just explaining my numerous commitment issues, so it’s time for something short and sweet. Omegle is terrifying. If you don’t respond in like 0.2 seconds, you instantly get disconnected. You also get a lot of copy and paste messages about becoming someone’s “personal little slut”. (I’m not opposed to the idea, it’s just a touch strong for a first message, okay?) Thankfully, the site has introduced a new option of a college chat, which you verify using your uni email, so very useful for filtering out underage teenagers who are notorious on the site. However, using the common interest of NZ, I actually hit gold. I found a delightful young professional from Christchurch called Simon. He was 30, which is sure, a bit older than I would have normally gone for, but owned his own house, and was genuinely lovely. We chatted about how shit dating apps were and potential good bios. My suggestion was “I think steampunk is a blight on our society”, but he thought that might get actually GET me steampunk guys. Maybe that’s why I’m still single. Although he did suggest, unironically, that I should have a bio of “I love Rick and Morty”, so perhaps that’s why he’s still single too. He asked for my Instagram at the end of the 30-minute convo, and you know what? I actually gave it to him! I really wanted to chicken out, but that wouldn’t exactly make for an exciting column. Upon actual stalking, he used a lot of hashtags in his photos which is well… interesting, but he’s not bad looking at all. In retrospect, reading back through the chat, it’s hard to tell if I had a decent time because of him, or just because I’m a wonderful conversationalist. I think I struggle with that a lot, not to sound like a cunt, but I often face lingering questions after dates like this. Was he funny or am I just really funny? I think we both know the answer to that, reader. If I get any updates from dear Simon, I’ll be sure to keep you informed, but stay tuned for next week where I’ll try, God forbid, talking to guys in the library.
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Horoscopes AQUARIUS
Just like, make sure you 100% know how to put a condom on. No, 90% won’t do. Really just get that shit down.
CANCER
ARIES
Okay yes, you’re a lonely bitch, but who said you can’t be a hot one? Put on some tight jeans, show the world what you’ve got.
CAPRICORN
Something just isn’t working. Maybe it’s your shampoo? Or your
No matter how tempting, do NOT do gear this week. Let’s fucking face it,
deodorant? Whatever it is, change it UP. Your friends have been meaning to say something.
it’s probably laced. Take it from an old friend, bath salts are not fun. Stick with the weed and have a chill night.
GEMINI
Tinder is getting boring, I know, but hang in there. Your next hot date is just around the corner. Let cuffing season commence!
LIBRA
Love the energy, now we just need that x2. Success will come if you smile and give the world a little bit of that ass, and chances are, you’ll end up coming too.
SAGITTARIUS
You’ll beat a new drinking record. Make sure to prepare now, get the stopwatches and the cameras ready.
TAURUS
Energy drinks are fun until they’re not. Know thy limit, four in a day is NOT good. Look after yourself darling xx
LEO
It’s the first week back of Sem 2, you can afford to skip a couple of classes. In this weather? Almost a necessity.
PISCES
Someone loves you! We won’t kiss and tell, but it’s someone VERY close to you (and dw, it’s not your parents lmao).
SCORPIO
Hats are not your thing. I’m sorry! They just don’t suit you! Please, stop!
VIRGO
You should apologise to the people you’ve hurt. Skipping ahead to watch those episodes of that show that you and your friend were SPECIFICALLY watching together is not okay. It actually sickens me.
COLUMNS
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SNIP, SNOP, SNAP SEND US YOUR SNAPS TO GET FEATURED IN NEXT WEEK’S EDITION @MASSIVE_MAG
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Exec Columns
MAWSA: TESSA GUEST
ASA: BEN AUSTIN
Well I never! Is that you? Are you really back on campus? Oh how MAWSA’s missed you so. We’ve been slaving away for the past six weeks, administering hardship grants, brewing campaigns, and planning a hot hot HOT Re-O Week lineup for you all; but it’s been so quiet without you here. It’s gonna be a big semester down here, and if you want to be amongst the madness, nominate yourself for Welfare & Equity Officer RIGHT NOW! 10 hour per week paid position, yours for the taking! Check our socials and website to learn more, sweeties xx
Kia Ora everyone, welcome back to Massey for Semester 2. To those who are graduating congratulations, and to all new students welcome to Massey. This week we have a bunch of themed events running during the day surrounding snO-Week. We have a variety of BBQs as well as student vs lecturer competitions. Our famous Clubs Day is being held on Wednesday from 12-2pm in the Student Central and then on Thursday and Friday night AMESS is hosting “Bear Pong” and the Winter Rager Party. I hope everyone has an amazing O-Week and as usual, if you need anything come to the ASA on level 2 of the Student Central.
MUSA: FATIMA IMRAN
M@D: JACALYN CLARE AND JAX WATT
Selamat siang everyone, welcome back to Palmy for Sem 2!! Hope you all had a great break and are ready to take the next half of the year on. Although university has just started do take breaks now and then to give your brain time to rest before assignments kick in. This week is Re-O week here at MUSA and we have a crazy week planned with breakfast and movie night on Monday, breakfast on Tuesday, pool party on Wednesday, MUSA Social night on Thursday, Sons of Zions on Friday, and finally Park in the Dark on Saturday. More info can be found on our FB page. Come along and enjoy your first week back to uni.
We’re live! Our Stream went live on July 1st and we watched as 13,000 students taking distance courses be added! Based on feedback already received, students are loving being able to engage on this platform, and within hours of going live, we began receiving scholarship applications! We’ve also begun a zoom ‘virtual open office’ on a Thursday, where students can come into chat, talk about their study, learn about what we’re doing, hold us accountable – what ever they’d like. Additionally, we have some fun O-Week events planned including watch parties and a PJ day. All these events are some new ways to promote engagement and accountability within the distance community. We can’t wait to see you there! COLUMNS
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PUZZLE PAGE! WORD WHEEL
R G
The target is to create as many words of 4 letters or more, using the letters once only and always including the letter in the middle of the wheel. 4-letter words: 11 5-letter words: 3
6-letter words: 3 9-letter words: 1
U
T
I Printable Sudoku 01/06/2021 - Hard - 06/01/2021
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21 Sudoku.cool Sudoku Today ( https://sudoku.today )
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Leave Love Out Of This Anthonie Tonnon
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Printable Sudoku - Hard - 06/01/2021
Sudoku - Hard
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Printable Sudoku 01/06/2021 - Hard - 06/01/2021
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©2021 Sudoku.cool
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MICHAEL’S PICK
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CROSSWORD
QUIZ
supercharge your night (5) 18. A place you go when you’ve done too much ketamine and have lost all sense of time, space, balance, and verbal skills. (5) 20. Type of dog originally bred to hunt vermin (7) 22. Prince who comes to the rescue of a damsel in distress (8) 24. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’s celebrity lookalike (3, 6) 25. The most environmentally detrimental of the plant based milks (6) 26. The latest time or date by which something should be completed (8)
DOWN 1. If oranges could talk, what language would they speak? (8) 2. That big bright thing in the sky during the day (3) 3. Stored under your seat on an aeroplane (4, 6) 4. Slang for blowjob (5) 7. Fuck, shit, wanker, and cunt are all examples of: (5, 5) 8. Synonym for butthole (4) 10. When somone chooses to throw up in order to feel well
enough to continue drinking and keep up with the night’s festivities (8, 3) 12. A recreational or impromptu extended excursion in a car (4, 4) 14. The greatest games ever released for the Gameboy (7) 19. A skin condition that looks contagious, but it’s not (6) 21. An exlamation for declaring scientific discovery (6) 23. The third of the seven deadly sins (5) QUIZ ANSWERS: 1. a) 2. a) 3. b) 4.a) 5. d) 6. c) 7. c) 8. a) 9. b) 10. a)
1. What year did World War I begin? a) 1914 b) 1905 c) 1919 d) 1925
b) Singani c) Chicha d) Kasiri
2. What is isobutylphenylpropanoic acid more commonly known as? a) Ibuprofen b) Ketamine c) Morphine d) Aspirin 3. Which vegetable gives Popeye his strength a) Broccoli b) Spinach c) Asparagus d) Lentils 4. Which alcoholic drink is made from the leaves of the agave plant and gets its name from an area around a Mexican city? a) Tequila
Last issue crossword asnwers Across: 1. Rhinoculars 4. Pig 6. Piss 9. Microscopic 11. Logan Paul 12. Ents
ACROSS 1. Group of mammals characterized by the presence of a pouch in females to rear the young (9) 4. The part between your balls/ vulva and asshole (5) 5. Bread that goes beautifully with a mild butter chicken (4) 6. Rich bald prick at Amazon (4, 5) 9. It comes after summer (6) 11. A fast, reckless ride taken in a stolen vehicle solely for pleasure (7) 14. He sings ‘Gangnam Style’ (3) 15. Dead human that gets dissected for medical reasons (7) 16. 7% Vodka guarna drink sold in 1.25L bottles guaranteed to
5. What does the Q in IQ stand for? a) Quantity b) Quorum c) Quality d) Quotient 6. Who was Roman emperor at the time of Christ’s crucifixion? a) Nero b) Pontius Pilt c) Tiberius d) Julius Caesar 7. Pablo Picasso and George Braques were pioneers of which early nineteenth century art movement noted for its concentration on geometrical figures? a) Impressionism b) Realism c) Cubsim d) Abstract Impressionism
13. Sand 16. Porn. 18. Happy Hour 22. Chicken Crimpy 23. Dora 24. Appendix
8. Which drink is often described as having body, legs and nose and could also be flabby or fleshy? a) Wine b) Beer c) Vodka d) RTDs 9. What year was the Mighty Mongrel Mob formed? a) 1952 b) 1962 c) 1972 d) 1982 10. Which New Zealand MP is New Zealand comedian Guy Williams’ partner? a) Golriz Ghahraman b) Tamati Coffey c) Chlöe Swarbrick d) Nicola Willis
Down: 1. Ru Paul 2. Nos 3. Cutie Pie 4. Paypal 5. Geocaching 7..Toilet Paper 8. Scrotum 10. Daddy 14. Cheugy
15. Twasnt 17. Rhino 19. Homie 20. Ikea21. Xbox
COLUMNS
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MASSIVE
ISSUE 09
MASSIVE
ISSUE 11
MAY 17/2021
THE SEX ISSUE
the musicjoe issue from molly paton band by cam hay
MAY 03/2021