Massive Magazine Issue 20 2021

MASSIVE

ISSUE 20

MARAMAIWA 13/2021

TE WIKI O TE REO MĀORI

RIPEKA PAAPU: ABOUT THE ARTIST

Ko Ripeka Paapu tōku ingoa Ko Ngāti Kahu ki Whangaroa me Ngā Puhi tōku iwi Ko Karangahape tōku marae Ko Mātaatua tōku waka Ko Taratara tōku maunga Ko Te Tou Wai tōku awa Ko Whangaroa tōku moana Kia ora e te whānau my name is Ripeka and I am a second year student of Toioho ki Āpiti / Bachelor of Māori Visual Arts. The reason why I chose to study Māori Visual Arts at Massey was because apart from learning about art I wanted to learn more about Te Ao Māori and this course is the best place and opportunity to do so. I am based at Massey Palmerston North.

One of our lecturers Gina Matchitt did a collection of patches and she has challenged us to also create a patch. The “patch” is so often associated and linked to gangs and crime or criminals and this is me attempting to emphasize a positive message and or image. I chose to do my iwi on the colourful patch as I am extremely proud of my whakapapa.I chose to do mana wahine on the red, black and white patch and used the Tino Rangatiratanga Flag as I feel like it is a flag that I am immensely proud of, also a flag that always makes me happy when I see it flying.

Guest Editorial MASON TANGATATAI MĀORI LANGUAGE (MORE THAN A) WEEK?!

Kia ora Massey whānau! Te Wiki o te Reo Māori is upon us and with it comes a wave of wholesome Māori focused content! For Massive, this has been a great opportunity to present Māori with a platform to publish their stories and share a bit of mana on their fellow students.

I’m sure for most of those reading, Te Wiki o te Reo Māori is just another blip in the calendar - no more than a small reminder to post an Instagram story of reo proverbs or bust a cheeky ngā mihi at the bottom of your emails.

While this is all well and good, we can view Te Wiki o te Reo Māori as more than just a week of reo, but more as a checkpoint, or start on your reo journey.

This journey may last a month, a year, or even your whole lifetime, but what matters is that we don’t see Te Wiki O Te reo Māori as the only time to speak or incorporate reo into our lives.

My challenge to you: Take your most said phrases in a day, find the reo translation and proudly use this where you can.

This will normalise the use of reo in your everyday conversations with people who may not be used to hearing our language spoken in a casual setting.

Using reo in public may be daunting, but if you take a bit of time learning the pronunciation and meaning behind what you are saying, you can be respectful, influential, and helpful all at the same time.

Be a leader, make the change!

Ko te reo te mauri o te mana Māori Our language is our culture

Table of Contents 06

News

10

Reclaim Te Reo

14

Not 'Maori Enough'

18

OHOOHO: Ka Hao

20

Te Reo For Tauira

22

Taylor-Rose Terekia

26

My Language, My Awakening

28

MAWSA 2022: Meet the Candidates

33

Culinarylingus

34

Sexcapades

36

Snaps

37

Horoscopes

38

Puzzles

18

10 14

EDITOR Caroline Moratti

DESIGNER Micah Davis-Rae

SUB EDITOR Jamie Mactaggart

PHOTOGRAPHER Callum Parsons

NEWS EDITOR James Pocock

ILLUSTRATORS Tallulah Farrar, Sara Moana

CONTRIBUTORS Taylor-Rose Terekia, Ripeka Paapu, Nkhaya Paulsen-More STAFF WRITERS Cameron Taylor, Elena McIntyreReet, Ari Prakash, Mason Tangatatai, Michael Freeman

CONTACT/SOCIAL

editor@massivemagazine.org.nz Facebook/massive.magazine Instagram/massivemagazine www.massivemagazine.org.nz

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Massive is also a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association.

The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages of Massive do not necessarily represent

those of Massey University, its staff, ASA, MUSA, MAWSA, M@D or the Massive Editor. MAWSA is an independent organisation that publishes Massive.

Send any queries or complaints directly to Massive at editor@ massivemagazine.org.nz.

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MASSIVE NEWS

Massey adapts back to Level 2 JAMES POCOCK

NATIONAL NEWS

With the majority of the country (soz Auckland :/) having returned to a tentative Level 2, Massey campuses outside Albany finally reopen their doors today (Monday 13). Despite Level 2 officially starting on Wednesday 8 September, Massey made the decision to postpone opening up the campus until the following Monday.

Specific details for how this reopening will be managed have yet to be hashed out by Massey as they await word from the Government.

“When these Ministry of Health and Ministry of Education guidelines are available, we will be making further decisions and communicating these to staff and students as soon as we can,” a Massey spokesperson said.

Whether this looks like mask mandates in the library, or specific social distancing rules, is unclear at the time of

print. Decisions around class sizes, and whether any will return in person, are also expected to be released shortly.

One student told Massive that they’re “looking forward to getting out of the house, but just hope that Massey is a safe place to go to study, and that people follow the guidelines ... whatever they may be.”

One bit of good news is that, under Level 2, books can now be couriered from Massey’s Wellington and Palmerston North library to help many distance students studying under lockdown conditions.

For the exams which are approaching for many at the end of semester, Massey said that they have already planned for them to be conducted similarly to how they were done during last year’s lockdown.

“The processes will be similar to last year’s in that where invigilation is essential, remote proctoring will be used. As a university, we have already moved significantly away from using invigilated examinations in favour of other forms of assessment,” they said.

NEWS

6

Hardship Fund topped up by $20mil... but is it enough?

Extension adds to student stress

CAROLINE MORATTI

JAMES POCOCK

NATIONAL NEWS

NATIONAL NEWS

The Government has announced a boost of the tertiary

student Hardship Fund for Learners by $20 million, aimed to help around 15,000 students stay connected to learning.

This is the third time the Hardship Fund has been extended.

The money will be paid to tertiary providers who will disburse it amongst students accordingly, to help with various hardships such as financial challenges or technologyrelated costs due to Covid-19. “Because students’ needs are diverse, this funding is flexible.... Tertiary providers understand the needs of their students and will distribute it in the way that is most suitable. Learners may receive either cash grants, or goods/services purchased on their behalf,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. If you’re a student who needs support to keep studying, Hipkins says to talk to your tertiary provider.

“About bloody time,” one student told Massive.

However, not everyone is happy about the news. The top-up is the only tertiary student support that has been announced so far, with punters speculating that an increase in course-related costs or other forms of support look unlikely.

Green MP Chlöe Swarbrick tweeted "Now that's what I call build ups" after the Government had been repeatedly saying something is "in the works" for students. "We've now learnt it's just a top up of the Hardship Fund," she wrote. The MP also retweeted a Young Greens of Aotearoa tweet, which said: “Students need and deserve better - admin heavy hardship funding is an inequitable tool and no solution to the challenges currently facing us."

Some students had been sharing concerns on social media about the workload build up caused by Massey’s across the board extension to all assignments due before the semester break to when the semester break ended September 6.

One student on a Massey confessions page claimed that if all assignments due before and during the break were instead due on one day, it’d be “hundreds of times worse”.

Another student said that the decision “whilst sure, it seemed like Massey was trying to be helpful, actually made my semester break stressful in a time where I needed more than anything to relax”.

Massey’s spokesperson said that the course coordinators have adjusted assessment weightings, the numbers of assignments, and assessment deadlines “wherever possible” to prevent deadlines all stacking atop one another.

“Because of the nature of some of our courses this isn’t always possible without changing the outcomes of the course, but we encourage any student who is struggling to complete their assessments to approach their course coordinators,” they said.

The Massey spokesperson said that they have tried to coordinate communication on this within schools with cohort-based programmes.

“However, because of the number of permutations of courses within programmes, it is not possible to do this for all students. Again, we encourage any student who finds that their assignments have ended up ‘stacked’ to approach their course coordinator.”

NEWS

7

Palmerston North bus system under review

“Admittedly it takes 30 minutes which is long but, I don’t know, I enjoy the ride,” he said.

I thought you couldn’t get much better than free !

“That was for selfish reasons. I have a bus stop outside my house, so it didn’t matter if they extend the services elsewhere, plus I just think it’s the better option overall,” she said.

JAMES POCOCK

MANAWATŪ NEWS

Student Phoebe decided to vote for option two.

The deadline for consultation was recently extended to 5pm Friday 17 September for anyone who still wants to have their say.

ASA to promote online Chinese Language Week JAMES POCOCK

Massey students in Palmerston North are about to get an even better bus network after public consultation on two options for improvement.

Regardless which of the two presented options are picked, the Horizons Regional Council has proposed to simplify and improve the services that go directly to and from Massey.

According to council info, the direct service between Massey and the city centre would run every 15 minutes at peak times and every 30 minutes outside of peaks. Direct services to other places from Massey would be limited to only run at key times.

The first of the two main options offered in the consultation involves more bus routes with an expansion of the network.

This means passengers could get off at stops closer to home. Buses would still run every 30 minutes from 6:30am to 8pm Sunday to Wednesday, and 6:30am to 9pm Thursday to Saturday.

“The majority of the city would be within 400 metres (around a 5-minute walk) of a bus stop,” the Council said.

The second option doubles the frequency of buses during peak times to one every 15 minutes. The Council says they consider peak times to usually be 7-9am and 3-6pm, Monday to Friday. The service’s operating hours would be the same as option one.

According to the Council both options cost about the same to implement, about $7.9 million.

Student Angus thinks the consultation is a nice idea, although he is mostly fine with the buses as they are.

ALBANY NEWS

Albany Students’ Association (ASA) are adapting in preparation for New Zealand Chinese Language Week despite constraints from lockdown in Auckland.

According to ASA’s Cultural Officer Linda Yan, ASA will be promoting two online activities running from Sunday 26 September until Saturday 2 October. The activities are run by the New Zealand Chinese Language Week (NZCLW) charitable trust.

According to the organisers, NZCLW was designed to bridge the cultural and linguistic knowledge gap between China and New Zealand by offering fun and practical initiatives that assist Kiwis to learn Chinese.

First on the agenda is the National Dumpling Day, which involves giveaways and prizes for participants on social media who take pictures and share their dumplings.

“The idea is to encourage as many people as possible to celebrate Chinese language and culture,” NZCLW said.

The second event - Five Days, Five Phrases Challenge runs the whole week. Participants are encouraged to post videos attempting five Mandarin phrases and challenge their friends. ASA will be posting five phrases to try on their social media.

“This can be as fun or as serious as you like, but it is a great way to show support for our growing Chinese community and tourists once the borders open up,” NZCLW said.

NEWS

8

US institute recognises Massey’s creative arts college JAMES POCOCK

WELLINGTON NEWS

NASAD offers “substantial equivalency” to institutions outside of the US as an alternative to “accreditation”. It is not possible for institutions outside the US to receive accreditation according to Professor Claire Robinson, Pro Vice-Chancellor of CoCA, who is delighted to have the College’s standing confirmed once again.

“We are one of only a small number to achieve this status and the only Art and Design School in New Zealand to do so.

Gaining ‘substantial equivalency’ means our art and design degrees are certified as on a par with qualifications from some of the world’s most prestigious institutions, including Rhode Island School of Design and CalArts,” Professor Robinson said.

According to NASAD, only nine institutions worldwide have obtained substantial equivalency for their courses.

The United States accreditation body for creative arts has renewed its recognition of Massey’s Toi Rauwhārangi College of Creative Arts (CoCA) as one of the best outside the US. The National Association of Schools of Art and Design (NASAD) granted CoCA renewal of its substantial equivalency certification.

NASAD’s comments included with the commendation had praise for the “deliberate, thoughtful, and compelling” considerations of curricular programs and the support for students.

“The Commission commends the institution for its discussions ‘of the potential impact of creative work on audiences’ and its effort to intertwine this issue with its community’s ‘creative, cultural, and socio-political’ histories,” they said.

NEWS

9

reclaim te reo S O O U R TA M A R I K I D O N ’ T H AV E T O

W O R D S B Y M A S O N TA N G ATATA I I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y S A R A M O A N A Our tīpuna took a great journey across the seas to find our home, Aotearoa. This journey was one of perseverance; skilled navigators read the night sky and Māori muscle fought against the Pacific Ocean’s strongest currents. Above all, our ancestors were guided by a deep understanding of te ao Māori and the mouthpiece of that knowledge, te reo.

Te reo Māori - a language that, spoken correctly, holds power and knowledge, all while gracing our taringa with a melodic, poetic tone.

The language of te reo has faced a wave of suppression and forced change, leaving many of today’s tangata whenua with a language disconnect.

Professor Meihana Durie, Deputy Vice Chancellor Māori at Te Kunenga ki Pūrehuroa, believes nationwide efforts to revitalise te reo are slowly working and that the universities of Aotearoa have a strong part to play in advancing the use of te reo.

“Compare the amount of te reo spoken 5-10 years ago to now, it’s truly amazing the growth we are making as a country.”

We’re getting to a point of comfort as a country where reo is being used within our leadership, in our largest companies and the pushback against reo is being called out publicly.

“Although this [is] impressive, we need to push forward with this kaupapa as there are still Māori longing for the opportunity to learn their language - we as universities play a direct and incredibly important role in providing this.”

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WHY IS THIS SO IMPORTANT? The revitalisation of te reo is important on many fronts, but it can be broken into two levels.

1.

The need to ensure tangata whenua can learn as tangata whenua.

2. The need to provide opportunities for everyone else to access te reo resources.

By learning our language and reclaiming it as a social norm, we are not only doing today’s Māori a service, but also bettering the future for our tamariki.

Many generations of Māori have felt an immense disconnect to their culture, due to it being stripped from their genealogy. By reclaiming this for our whānau, we can remove this whakamā, this guilt, that modern Māori face.

I myself have experienced the array of emotions while on my reo journey, a series of missteps and awkward conversations about my whanau’s history have often left me feeling ashamed that I cannot speak.

For Māori, speaking te reo holds an unmatched emotional connection. It can even be easier to speak foreign languages as the language is all you are learning, not so much the saddening history behind it. Without recognising it, us Māori carry grief of our own that can emerge unexpectedly along the journey.

A deliberate set of government strategies were used to remove our peoples’ language – this is part of our history and like it or not, the effects continue to have ripple.

Reclaiming our language is an ongoing battle, reclaiming our language is when can you go and be totally immersed in te reo at every shop, cafe, petrol station, bank; every street corner.

A SIMILAR TALE? If we paddle north on our journey to Wales, we can see a country that has taken leaps and bounds towards reclaiming their native language of Cymraeg, or Welsh as it’s known in English.

Wales took an extreme approach to language reclamation by implementing an idea that has gained traction in Aotearoa over the last few years, making their native language compulsory in schools. In 1988 a law was passed that made Welsh compulsory to all students up until they are 16.

This effort has seen Welsh speakers rise in numbers

“By learning our language and reclaiming it as a social norm, we are not only doing today’s Māori a service, but also bettering the future for our tamariki.”

to 883,600 from December 2020, compared to just 514,000 in 1998 when the education reform act was implemented.

Should this be seen as the extreme approach – or rather an effective and reasonable strategy?

Like Māori, Welsh were colonised by the English, their language stripped from all aspects of their lives. It’s important to note that while most people in Wales are Welsh, this isn’t the case for Māori in Aotearoa. This may cause questions around whether or not we have the resources to take such a leap.

Professor Durie believes, as a country, we are on the cusp of having what we need to make substantial advancements towards te reo in our schooling.

“We want to get to a stage where students aren’t just learning te reo, but they are learning in te reo. Learning in te reo means that the staff need access to strong resources and development programmes, there also needs to be ongoing support through strong investment from the New Zealand government – but as a country, we are getting close to [a] collective, reo focused mindset needed to make these advancements.

“Only 4-5% of Māori attend Māori schooling, 95% of our tamariki are in mainstream schools, where Māori isn’t widely taught. If we can consistently provide high quality reo at an early age, the uptake of the language becomes that much more likely.”

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WHAT IS MASSEY UNIVERSITY CONTRIBUTING? Massey University, despite being called Massey University (William Massey is no role model of mine), has a history of positively contributing to the access of mātauranga Māori. Since the early 90s, longitudinal studies undertaken within Massey’s research arms have unearthed findings, highlighting the health and educational benefits of growing up in a reo spoken households.

Today, Massey continues to provide courses and initiatives that advance the learnings and research of te reo and tikanga Māori. One course, Toro Mai, founded by Professor Durie, provides tauira and the public alike, with free and easily accessible te reo and tikanga courses.

“We want to get to a stage where students aren’t just learning te reo, but they are learning in te reo.”

“Toro Mai is all about learning the foundations of te reo.

It’s a great starting point for any Massey student looking to start or continue their reo journey.”

Toro Mai also allows Māori abroad to keep in touch with their whakapapa.

possible to embark on your reo journey with humility, with respect, and also in a way that’s not defensive.

What courses like Toro Mai have shown us, is that learning te reo and tikanga Māori is more accessible than ever. If you haven’t before, I encourage you to spend a fraction of your week becoming familiar with our language, becoming comfortable with hearing our mother tongue spoken. This will only help in the nations journey Toro Mai is one of the only free te reo and tikanga courses to a revitalised voice. provided by any university. With over 40,000 participants Whether you’ve already left the shores, or today is the over the last three years, it poses the question - if there is day you embark, as tauiwi and Māori in a waka together, an obvious demand for te reo, why aren’t the rest of our we must all paddle towards te reo Māori now, to create universities providing courses alike? smooth sailing for our tamariki.

“Nowadays, we have the technology available to access te reo Māori and learning about tikanga, the new use of this has been a game changer. It’s amazing to enable whānau across the globe to allow their tamariki to feel like they are Māori, even when they live in a different country.”

TE REO CAN BE FOR EVERYONE Learning te reo may not be a viable option for every or even many students across Aotearoa. With learning a new language takes the privilege of time, which is precious in our younger years.

Ko te reo te mauri o te mana Māori My language is my awakening, my language is the window to my soul

Expectations can also make learning te reo a difficult task. For Pākehā and tauiwi, competing messages can often leave them feeling confused on whether they should learn the language. Māori sometimes say that Pākehā have an obligation to become familiar with te reo, while others utter that the language belongs to Māori and is only for Māori to speak.

It is possible for Pākehā to learn te reo without “recolonising” it. If you’re learning from a place of respect and believe that learning te reo Māori is a way to show this, that’s a really good approach. It’s completely FEATURES

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NOT ‘MAORI ENOUGH’ I am the product of a Māori mother and a Pākehā father. On my mum’s side of the family, me and my younger brothers are the only cousins that don’t have two Māori parents. We took on the majority of our father’s looks, including the white skin and blue eyes. We also grew up in Southland, arguably the ‘whitest’ part of New Zealand, away from the rest of our Māori family and hugely disconnected from our culture.

WORDS BY CAMERON TAYLOR ILLUSTRATION BY TALLULAH FARRAR

Whenever we take family photos, there’s jokes about how me and my brothers ‘don’t even look related’ to the rest of them. And for the most part, it’s true! We stick out like sore thumbs, not just because of our looks but also because of the culture we lacked during our upbringing.

Now to clarify, this is not me looking to complain about my ‘whiteness’. I acknowledge how privileged I am in our racist New Zealand society to be and look Pākehā.

My aim is just to debunk the stereotypes around what it means to be considered ‘Māori enough’ (whatever that means).

To be ‘Māori enough’, there are no requirements other than you have the whakapapa Māori. You could be raised completely immersed among all the reo and tikanga you could dream of, or you could grow up knowing a significantly small amount. Both experiences are valid, and both make you Māori enough.

However, while this sounds plausible in theory, the reality is that there are so many stereotypes surrounding the idea of what it means to be considered adequately Māori.

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One common stereotype about being Māori enough is that you should have a brown complexion and Māori-looking features, showing that you have a ‘high percentage’ of Māori blood running through your veins.

Too often, percentage is used as a measure of Māori-ness. But to quote Jess Thompson Carr a.k.a Māori Mermaid (@maori_mermaid on Instagram): "I’m not a box of RTDs. You have no right to measure me. Stop asking what percentage Māori I am."

“USING PERCENTAGE AS A MEASURING TOOL WHEN IT COMES TO WHAKAPAPA INVALIDATES HALF-CASTE MĀORI AND DAMAGES SELF-VALUE ONE MAY FEEL AS A MĀORI.” Using percentage as a measuring tool when it comes to whakapapa invalidates halfcaste Māori and damages self-value one may feel as a Māori. I’ve been asked the percentage question countless times due to my appearance, making me feel like I have to explain myself and my whakapapa in extreme detail just to be considered part of the Māori community. People don’t need to know these quantities. You’re Māori enough just by having Māori whakapapa within you, no matter the proportion.

Another widespread “MY KORO GOT BEATEN IN PRIMARY SCHOOL FOR assumption about what it means to be SPEAKING HIS NATIVE TONGUE, TRAUMATIZING Māori enough is that HIM AND PROMPTING HIM TO NOT PASS ON THE you should speak the reo. If you know LANGUAGE TO HIS FOUR DAUGHTERS.” how to speak te reo Māori, this often qualifies you as being ‘Māori enough’ in the eyes of others. But, people usually forget the factors that lie behind learning our reo. My koro got beaten in primary school for speaking his native tongue, traumatizing him and prompting him to not pass on the language to his four daughters, including my mother. That meant my mother never learnt how to speak te reo Māori, discouraged from acquiring it throughout her earlier years, and in turn it wasn’t passed down to me and my brothers either.

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Colonisation and assimilation stole the language from the tongues of many Māori, and this generational trauma still impacts young Māori of the 21st century. I know there are an abundance of resources out there, and I have actively tried over the years to try and learn more of my reo. But honestly, I feel so behind some of my other peers who speak the language with much more fluency than me. At times, it makes me upset at not having been taught the language at an earlier stage of my life, although I understand why I wasn’t.

Fluency in te reo Māori or not, I’m still Māori enough. I’m just as Māori as my peers, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.

For too long, society has been trying to place Māori people into these boxes of being ‘Māori enough’ or not. This mindset completely disregards the complexities behind Māori identities, especially in the 21st century. We shouldn’t have to measure up to set societal standards about what it means to be Māori, and we shouldn’t be called ‘plastic’ if we don’t

reach said standards. Being Māori means different things for all of us who whakapapa Māori, there’s no right or wrong way about it.

Truthfully, I haven’t stepped anywhere near Manawatahi on the Manawatū campus, in fear of not being considered ‘Māori enough’ compared to the rest of my peers. My looks and lack of knowledge about my culture makes me feel inadequate on a daily basis. I’m still unlearning the stigma around what it means to be Māori enough for myself, because of the constant questioning and doubt people have had around my whakapapa my entire life. But, I know I just need to remember that the fact I have Māori whakapapa is more than enough. I’m proud of my culture and heritage on both sides of my family, and I’m so excited for my journey towards learning more about my reo, my tikanga, and my culture.

I want to end this piece on a poem I wrote last year about my disconnection with my Māori culture.

LOST FOR WORDS How I desire to kōrero in the language of my tīpuna.

To express my mahamaha through their reo.

Reo that has been neglected through history.

Reo that Aotearoa almost lost forever.

Reo that my koro was punished for during his days in kura.

Reo that my koro could not bring himself to teach to his tamariki.

Reo that my māmā never learnt.

Reo that I never learnt.

Lack of native tongue builds the highest barrier, between who I am and who I want to be.

White girl in a brown world.

Separated by looks, further separated by absence of knowledge.

Striving to learn my reo.

As my language skills slowly strengthen, my barrier is slowly destroyed.

One day, I will be free.

But, not until the walls are gone.

Until I feel accepted.

Knowledgeable.

Included.

Māori.

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OHOOHO: KA HAO

INTERVIEW BY

TAYLOR-ROSE TEREKIA

OHOOHO is a new column by Te Pararē that is all about inserting te reo Māori into our everyday lives. We highlight innovative ways Māori are normalising te reo, making it accessible to more people by planting it in new spaces beyond the traditional.

This week we kōrero to Jhaymeān Terekia, a tuakana in the new and soulful music group Ka Hao. She tells us about how Ka Hao inspires rangatahi and sets out to uphold te reo Māori and kaupapa Māori through music.

Ko wai koe, nōhea koe?

Ko Jhaymeān Terekia tōku ingoa, he uri tēnei nō Te Tairāwhiti whānui, nō Te Aitanga a Mahaki, nō Ngariki Kaiputahi, nō Ngāti Porou. Whānau mai au ki roto o Murihiku ki Waihōpai, ana, nō Ngai Tahu anō hoki ahau.

What is Ka Hao in a nutshell?

Ka Hao is a tira waiata of 24 rangatahi

māori from the East Coast, aspiring to inspire positive change within our people. Our kaiwaiata are all kura kaupapa kids, all haka babies, and we channel that natural virtuosity into music, using it as a waka to kawe our kaupapa. Nā Rob rāua ko Cilla Ruha a Ka Hao i auaha mai, imparting their experience in the music industry onto us allowing us to ‘make magic’!

Where and how did you learn te reo Māori? Ōku mātua. I māori mai te ārero mai i taku pihinga nā te kura kaupapa māori au i whakatipu.

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What drew you to participate in Ka Hao, and specifically music?

My aunty Cilla called me up one day and asked me to jump on and help start the tira, it was actually quite a daunting whakaaro at the time! I was fresh out of high school and studying toi, and never thought I would ever be confident enough to sing. But I have one persuasive aunty, nāna mātou ko aku hoa whakahaere i akiaki, believing we had the guts, the pūkenga and potential to make positive changes within our hāpori through music. Ka Hao opened the door into te ao pūoro for me personally, and now we work to open more doors for our rangatahi.

How does Ka Hao aim to normalise te reo Māori?

Mā te whakatauira! Taking not just te reo māori, but whakaaro māori into all spaces and all our projects. Our last project was the Mōhau album, all kaiwaiata māori, all in te reo. With the album receiving awards at the Aotearoa Music Awards last year and getting to perform our waiata māori live, broadcast to the entire country - what a meke way to infiltrate the airwaves! We work towards normalising our reo in mainstream media.

Even if we record in pākeha spaces, if we’re working with pākeha, we take our reo and our tikanga in there and own it.

This year, we recorded our own album and wrote our own waiata from our unique māori worldview - we want māori music blasting through the radio stations, for the whole motu to hear te reo māori as a normal part of every day.

What are your goals for the future of Ka Hao?

What challenges do you or your kaupapa face?

There’s always the hard mahi behind the scenes, finding pūtea, feeding 30 kids for a wānanga, late nights on top of work, uni, and our own lives sorting all the logistics of organising our kaupapa maha ourselves. But that’s the beauty of cultivating our tira to be a whānau, of whakaaro māori - so many hands and solutions to any challenges we face. Utilising the skills of our people as much as we can, we’ve got our mamas in the kitchen, uncles that design graphics, aunties in media production, cousins that do hair and makeup. It takes a village!

So far we’ve been focussed on building our kids’ confidence and skill sets, networking and providing them with opportunities that can be difficult to reach for our rural kura.

How can people get involved with or follow Ka Hao?

With 3 years behind us and our kids starting to graduate high school, I’d love for us to be able to support future development for anything they want to do, especially in the creative industries where we have the mātaurangaand resources to do this!

Insta: @kahao_tirawaiata

Follow our socials!

FB & YouTube: Ka Hao: Tira Waiata

Ka Hao: Tira Waiata have released their first single ‘35’ on Spotify, with a follow-up full album ‘Ka Hao: One Tira One Voice’ to be released on September 17.

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taylor-rose terekia

Taylor-Rose Terekia is killing the game. She’s the writer, editor, and wordsmith of your dreams. She’s also the Kaiwāwāhi Matua (Editor) of Te Pararē, having been with the magazine since its inception in 2019, “from its baby days to what it is today”.

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TAYLOR-ROSE

TEREKIA KAIWĀWĀHI MATUA OF TE PARARĒ I N T E RV I E W BY CA R O L I N E M O R AT T I

Taylor-Rose Terekia is killing the game. She’s the writer, editor, and wordsmith of your dreams. She’s also the Kaiwāwāhi Matua (Editor) of Te Pararē, having been with the magazine since its inception in 2019, “from its baby days to what it is today”.

Te Pararē is the student magazine of Te Mana Ākonga, the National Māori Tertiary Students Association. With Taylor-Rose at the helm, the magazine produces a range of incredible features, from the underfunding and overworking of Māori student leaders, to Māori podcasts to enjoy over lockdown. The pieces are funny, serious, heartfelt and intelligent. If you’re not already reading them, you need to. Over lockdown, Massive got the opportunity to chat with the formidable writer to talk everything from student media to K-pop.

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“THERE IS SO MUCH GROUND TO MAKE IN ORDER TO BEST SUPPORT MĀORI IN TERTIARY INSTITUTIONS AND SOMETIMES THE WEIGHT OF THAT HITS THE TUMUAKI HARD.” “Ko Te Aitanga-ā–Māhaki, Ngāti Porou, Ngāriki Kaipūtahi me Kāi Tahu ngā iwi, ko Taylor-Rose Terekia ahau.”

The 24-year-old writer “hails from Gizzy with links to the South”, where she studied Indigenous Development, Film and Media Studies, and Marketing at Otago University. At Otago, Taylor-Rose also served as Tumuaki of Te Roopū Maori, an experience which she describes “as tough as it was rewarding”.

“There is so much ground to make in order to best support Māori in tertiary institutions and sometimes the weight of that hits the tumuaki hard,” she obverses. “In the same breath I felt like I achieved a lot in a year and had a mean time doing it. I’m proud to have given my time in service to my Māori peers and teina coming through.”

Nowadays, Taylor-Rose works as the Marketing and Comms Coordinator for Taki Rua Productions based in Pōneke, editing Te Pararē in her spare time. She prefers black coffee over tea, and is currently binging a K-pop survival show named Kingdom. Oh, and her go-to kai after a night out is “fried chicken every time”. Basically, I want to be her best friend.

“WHILE I WISH WE COULD HAVE MORE CONTENT TO PUBLISH, WHAT WE DO GET HAVE BEEN AMAZING. IT REAFFIRMS FOR ME THE IMPORTANCE OF OUR MAGAZINE, AND ENCOURAGES ME TO KEEP GOING.”

Te Pararē was established in 2019, originally intended to be an annual publication, a “one-off” print of works from Māori students across the country. However, in 2020, that idea shifted and evolved to become an online magazine. The move would “make it more accessible and produce frequent content across the year” according to Taylor-Rose. “We joined the club of student magazines that is ASPA, and have been slowly grounding the foundation of our kaupapa for the future!”

A typical week editing Te Pararē looks like “jumping on socials and interacting with our friends (student groups and mags across the motu) and stirring conversation”. She admits if that something interesting comes up on the feed, or “a juicy idea stems from the kōrero, this might spark a story that will be written up and published online”.

Her favourite piece she’s ever published is her first editorial. “I don’t have a lot of journalism experience, but when I wrote that editorial, I just expressed my honest thoughts and hopes for Te Pararē. I really believe in the kaupapa of Te Pararē, and it will be the piece that I’ll always look back as the starting point for the magazine.”

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As rewarding as the work is, it can be tiresome. “As a brand new magazine, we have zero funding, and sometimes working on aroha can be really draining. It’s been tricky finding tauira to contribute to Te Pararē, which is the challenge of being 1) a national magazine, 2) online, and 3) brand new,” she says. Taylor-Rose notes of the challenges she’s faced in the role, saying, “It’s harder to build relationships and trust straight away when you can’t meet people face to face.”

The highlights, though, are the pieces she receives. “While I wish we could have more content to publish, what we do get have been amazing. It reaffirms for me the importance of our magazine, and encourages me to keep going,” Taylor-Rose says.

In a time where magazines can “SPEAKING AS A MĀORI, WE HAVE [A] SOCIETY seem outdated, archaic even, the student magazine lingers THAT NEEDS TO BE CHALLENGED, AND STUDENT on. Taylor-Rose believes that MEDIA CAN SUPPORT YOUNG VOICES TO BE students are in the “perfect position” to try anything HEARD IN THE WAY THEY WANT TO BE HEARD. WE and everything with little consequences, making mistakes PUSH BOUNDARIES AND SET EXAMPLES FOR THE and learning from them. “We’re MAINSTREAM.” full of opinions and ideas … I believe student media is a place that fosters and broadcasts that…

We challenge the norms of society, and we come up with solutions.”

“Speaking as a Māori, we have [a] society that needs to be challenged, and student media can support young voices to be heard in the way they want to be heard. We push boundaries and set examples for the mainstream.”

If you’re keen to get involved, you can. It’s as easy as that. “We want to uplift and amplify Māori students’ voices across Aotearoa. Your experience in writing doesn’t matter, if you have an opinion or an idea, we want to hear about it,” Taylor-Rose summarises. “If it’s a fry bread recipe, an illustration or artwork, an investigation into racism at your uni, or a Māramataka column, there’s so many possibilities and we want tauira to know that their voice is important and worth sharing.”

All tauira have to do is get in touch with Te Pararē and start a kōrero: “Kōrero mai, whakapā mai.”

As for Taylor-Rose, her future is bright and blossoming. She’s likely to stay at Te Pararē next year, admitting, “I’m kind of scared that if I leave now, the magazine won’t be ready to stand on its own. So, I’ll potentially stay on but will be keeping my eyes peeled for anyone keen to lead the waka!” There’s still “plenty to achieve” with the magazine, from securing funding and paid roles to general admin tasks.

If you want to check out the awesome mahi of Te Pararē, check out their Facebook page @teparare or Instagram @te.parare. You can also visit their website at www.temanaakonga.org.nz/teparare.

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By Nkhaya Paulsen-More (Ngāti Maru ki Hauraki, Ngāruahine, Ngāti Pūkenga) Ko tōku reo tōku ohooho, ko tōku reo tōku māpihi maurea.

My language is my awakening, my language is the window to my soul.

I treasure the tikanga behind pōwhiri. It grounds me.

It connects me to my tūpuna, and reminds me why I chose to reconnect to them.

The last one I went to was in July, in Tāmaki Makaurau.

The sky was grey, threatening to rain on us at any moment.

A small crowd of students, who’d travelled from all over the country, stood outside the gates of the marae, unsure of our call time. Questions like “what’s the waiata?” and “are we ready yet?” filled the empty space.

I wore a pōwhiri skirt; of course, one that sits below the knees. My dad told me it had to be below the knees a few years back, when I put on a different skirt for a pōwhiri at our marae that didn’t meet the dress code (he made me change back into my jeans). I didn’t know back then that it had to be below the knees.

I stood at the front of the crowd, next to our kaikaranga. I know now that wahine stand in the front of the procession, but sit behind the first row in the marae. I learnt that after my first pōwhiri as a student representative, when another girl and I rushed to the back of the crowd because we arrived late. They didn’t start until we awkwardly shuffled forwards to join the rest of the women at the front.

Eventually, we were called onto the marae, and we settled down in the wharenui. It all felt very simple by then, but of course, I’d been to so many of these by this point in my life that the process was second nature to me.

I love listening to people speak at pōwhiri. The air changes when you hear people speak. Through them, I hear

the centuries of our tūpuna speaking to us, retaining the traditions that have kept us alive throughout time.

And then I think, “What the fuck are they saying?”

I’m pretty good with languages. My mum started teaching me how to read and write in te reo Pākehā when I was four years old. My dad enrolled me in kōhanga reo around the same time. I speak fluent Afrikaans now, thanks to the nine years I spent living in South Africa. But I’m still not fluent in te reo Māori.

I started out bilingual, chattering away in English with my mum, and speaking te reo Māori with my dad. My parents, my sister, and I lived in Auckland at the time. My kui told me that I was well on my way to fluency back then. My mum told me that I had to translate for her when my kōhanga kaiako refused to speak only in English to her.

That changed when we moved to Wellington.

My parents decided to send my sister and me to a Catholic school when we moved to Wellington. There, we retained very little of our reo. We learnt how to count up to ten. We learnt the colours song. Both equally tedious for two children who’d progressed beyond that point.

We began to lose our reo.

Before we left our kōhanga, my classmates surprised me with a collection of cards they’d written for me. It was probably a phrase that our teacher recited to them, and they repeated in the cards. Something about being sad that I was leaving, and they were going to miss me.

I don’t remember the reo Māori kupu they used CULTURE

26

exactly, but I do remember the one word that was used in almost every card: “mokemoke”.

Loneliness. Sadness. * I get frustrated with myself for not understanding te reo Māori. Sometimes, I feel like I have to grieve for losing the connection I had to my language.

I signed up for reo classes two years ago, determined to rebuild my vocabulary, relearn sentence construction and grammar rules. As it so happens, reo classes offered by certain tertiary providers are free to New Zealand citizens and students.

Fuck it, I thought. Why not?

I went to those classes alone. I wasn’t able to convince my flatmates to join me. I didn’t make any friends in those classes, either, but a middle-aged couple who were in the same class as me tried to reach out to me and take me under their wing. They were there for the same reason I was.

The shame I felt in not retaining my language made me retreat into myself during these classes. I was happy with myself for learning again, but I wanted to be good at it from the get go. What I didn’t know then, and what I do know now, was that I didn’t have the ao Māori knowledge to compliment the reo Māori education I was getting. I learnt about the tikanga behind pōwhiri because of those classes.

Our teachers understood that we couldn’t just learn te reo Māori on its own.

One night, we took turns rehearsing for the next week’s class. My pronunciation was near-perfect. People in my class were surprised. My teacher just nodded after I finished speaking.

We were walking back to the marae when I overheard two women from my class talking about me.

“She sounded great!”

“Yes, I wonder where she grew up?”

“I can speak Afrikaans,” I told them, and they turned around. “It uses the same vowel pronunciations as te reo.”

“That makes so much sense,” the first woman said, and they moved on to another topic.

I don’t know why I didn’t just tell them that I was a kōhanga kid. The shame of being a kōhanga kid who didn’t speak te reo bubbled up in my gut, slowly curling up into a fist in my stomach.

After I completed the first level, I didn’t go back to finish the other three. Life caught up to me. I picked up a part-time job as a tutor, laser-focused on my studies, and joined my Māori Students’ Association.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start, and it was enough to keep me on the path to reuniting with my indigenous identity.

of the other; they work in tandem, complementing each other, contributing to your understanding of our culture as a whole.

At first, the sentiment offended me. As someone who had perpetually felt disconnected from her cultures, regardless of which continent it came from, I thought it went against our collectivist nature. It felt like a way to abandon those of us who never even had a chance to learn about our whakapapa and our shared histories.

It took me a long time to understand what it meant. It took me a long time to realise that it was okay to feel this way, too. The shame of being divorced from my cultures was an intergenerational shame that I’d inherited from colonialism— not from my tūpuna. Amalgamating my culture and my language was a way to claim that shame, and transform it into healing.

The thing is, this approach isn’t an attempt to isolate our tauira who don’t know their reo. It isn’t an attempt to demean your journey so far, if you’ve decided to embark on one. And the biggest reason why I understand it now is because of my own journey.

My tongue stumbles around sentences in te reo Pākehā when I’m trying to explain Māori concepts. Te reo Māori sits apprehensively in my palate as I try to mould new vocabulary around English ideas. The languages I grew fluent in are beginning to hinder my journey as I step more comfortably into my indigeneity.

And that’s a good thing. It’s a great sign. It means I’m stepping further into my identity, growing closer to my tūpuna, returning the pride that they passed down to me. The discomfort of learning te reo Māori most likely won’t leave me, not for a long time—but I’m doing this now so my future tamariki don’t have to feel the mamae and the whakamā when they learn their reo. I’m doing this so my future mokopuna have an ancestor to look back at if they forget who they are.

We’re all doing this so we can share the collective pride in our identities with each other, encouraging each other to continue with our education so we can protect our taonga.

So, if you’re spending your daydreams staring at an enrolment page for te reo Māori classes, one click away from hitting ‘Submit’, and then exiting out of the page because you chickened out and what if your pronunciation sucks and what if you mispronounce that “really easy” word in front of your tutor and they think you suck—shut up. It’s okay to stumble when you’re new to it. I still suck at English sometimes and I have a degree in it.

I’m here to tell you to do it.

Go for it. The rest of our reo speakers are here to awhi you, wholeheartedly.

* There’s this thing going around social media about immersing yourself in all things Māori. If you’re learning about Te Ao Māori, then you should also be learning te reo Māori. The knowledge of one won’t make up the knowledge CULTURE

27

MAWSA 2022: Meet Your Candidates!

love that for us! Stay tuned at different times this year, ns ctio ele g din hol are cs e nominations close.

Editor's Note: All the exe for M@D, ASA and MUSA onc s ate did can see to ues iss throughout other eous enough to run for nce to size up those courag cha r you is is Th 22!

20 for ctions te for you next year.

Welcome to the MAWSA Ele fit to represent and advoca y’re the ure ens to ns stio que gh roles, and ask them the tou ut it day-to-day, but they’re mahi. You might not think abo ant ort imp lly ts. They also rea of lot a s works and caters for studen sity ver uni The Student Executive doe our how ut abo ts and campaigns conversations ball, and lead their own projec the contributing all year to big and ek We O like gs thin m of staff in provide direction to our tea as students. tely better your experience ma ulti to rt effo e - all in a hug ing like this: Elections go a little someth the next week or two. ple keep campaigning over peo of ion ect sel ng azi am This for details).

12pm, check MAWSA socials er, mb pte Se h 13t ay ond (M ndidates Debate They talk up a storm in the Ca a sufficient job k any candidate would do thin ’t don you if ’ nce fide didate, or ‘no con You VOTE, either for a can 21st). y 15th & closes on Tuesday sda dne We (voting opens on o voted (Wednesday cher is drawn from those wh vou h Tec PB 00 $2 our of a winner Results are announced and ). ials soc our on info re 22nd, mo c! Get amongst or else. r 2022 MAWSA Student Exe you e hav you t, tha like t jus And sident 2021) - Tessa Guest (MAWSA Pre

Fiona Lu and Elizabeth Hodgson– Candidates for Co-Presidency Kia Ora! Lizzo (2rd year CMP) and Fiona (3rdyear fashion) are back with unfinished business... Our current roles in MAWSA have enriched our knowledge and fuelled our passion for the responsibility to continue representing you.

By joining forces, we will be able to expand our capacity in this role, give you a stronger voice and have more efficiency to act on your behalf. The relationships we’ve fostered with staff and students will continue to grow and make it easier for us to do work with and for you. Our top priorities are: university accountability, representation through collaboration and accessibility at home and on campus. You can count on us to bring the continuation of improving our Wellington campus, listening to your ideas and being an active alliance to you.

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Khushboo Singh– Candidate for Vice-President Bula vinaka everyone! I am Khushboo and I am running to be your Vice-President! I’m a second-year communications student majoring in journalism and your current clubs and community officer. This year I have been lucky enough to work alongside our amazing exec on the public transport equity campaign, rallied for a city free of sexual violence, worked with clubs to build up our communities on campus and helped out with some snazzy events along the way and much more.

As your VP I will be committed to ensuring MAWSA continues to be a true Te Tiriti partner, to ensure students feel welcomed and safe on campus and most importantly, to represent and advocate for all of our student’s interests and needs. So vote Khushboo for VP cuz the good Khush never let you down!

Kate Winsley– Candidate for Academic Officer Hello! I’m Kate, and I’m currently a 3rd-year concept design student. I’m excited to be a candidate for the Academic officer role, I love learning, and I’m sure you do too. I want to help you get the best out of your uni life, whatever that means for you, especially surrounding your experience in your classes and lectures. Having a solid support person to listen and support you is one way to make your uni life as smooth and fun as possible!

With my involvement in this role, I hope to provide you exactly what you signed up for when you decided to come to Massey. You need courses to run ethically and fairly to ensure a safe learning environment; This helps you have a fabulous time at uni! That’s what I’m here for, and I hope you’ll consider voting me in as your academic officer for 2022!

Maya Louw– Candidate for Clubs & Campus Community Officer Hiya, I’m Maya! I’m in my second year here at Massey studying concept design and I am thoroughly enjoying it!

I love art, music, film and anything creative. So I definitely chose the right university for me. I like to consider myself a friendly and kind person, as I do my best to live up to my Hufflepuff traits.

If I was elected, I would make clubs more accessible.

There are so many wonderful communities at Massey, but unfortunately club involvement is lacking. I’ve met so many like-minded people and made friends through Graphite Club, Massey Digital and Massey Adventurer’s Association, to name a few. Not only that but it’s a nice break from stressful assignments. Let’s make the most of these opportunities! I’d like to help you experience all that student life has to offer here at Massey. Vote for Maya to live your Massey life to the fullest!

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Jo Sunga– Candidate for Welfare & Equity Officer Kia Ora! I am Jo Sunga, a 2nd year photography student. Like any of you, I am your stereotypical student who somehow functions with 3 hours of sleep and tons of coffee. Maybe that’s why I am short. But you know what they say, the best things come in small packages. Jammed in my tiny body is an insane amount of empathy and compassion. Running for Welfare and Equity Officer gives me an opportunity to create a safe and healthy environment for all students. I want to help better our space by providing guidance and support for all students.

One of my constant passions is voicing out the importance of any respective issues. Whether it may be bettering mental health support to cultural safety to women empowerment. I am willing to be the person represented by voicing out your opinions and worries.

Calista Cristobal– Candidate for Welfare & Equity Officer Kia ora, my name is Calista (2nd year Spatial Design) and I’m excited to be running for the Welfare & Equity Officer position. Why? I’d like to pay forward the kindness and warmth from the MAWSA team throughout the years.

Reaching out for help, especially during this new stage in life, can sometimes be daunting. I’d love to be the person that you can talk to with ease and feel heard. In this role I would like to provide a lending ear and safe space to discuss action plans for better mental health support, cultural representation and other ways to uplift our community. I will be committed to making sure we find the best solutions and outcomes for you, that guarantees a welcoming learning space for all!

Genevieve Rae– Candidate for Sustainability & Wellbeing Officer Yo! My name is Genevieve (Gen if less syllables is more comfy) and I would love to be your sustainability and wellbeing officer. I’m a master of design student working with fungal mycelium to find material solutions for minimising waste.

This year I’m a campus co-lab facilitator, helping the visions you have for our campus come to life. Some cute moments so far have been teaching ya’ll how to weave textile waste in the pyramid and bringing students and staff together to kōrero about our wayfinding and navigation systems.

Designing for holistic sustainability is my jam, peanut butter, and bread so I’d love the opportunity to run with the amazing work Fiona has done this year and continue to bring Massey more in harmony with our wider ecosystems.

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Culinarylingus Fresh Rāwaru, Rengakura Huamata and kūmara mash This is the perfect kai to welcome in the warm months of spring. Kūmara makes a warm, creamy mash, perfect for nestling a crispy fillet of rāwaru (blue cod) or other white fish of your choosing. The rengakura (beetroot) packs a punch, with a vibrant salad to cut through the buttery main. It’s a bit fancy, but what better way to celebrate the end of winter?

INGREDIENTS: SERVES 2 • • • • • • •

White vinegar 1 tsp of sugar ½ rengakura, finely sliced ½ bag of mesclun greens 1 red onion, sliced Chopped cucumber, carrots, whatever’s in your fridge.

Vingerette

• • • • • •

1-2 fillets of white fish per person Several tsps. of butter (it’s a vibe) 1 kūmara, 1 potato (and just whatever other root veggies need using up, like pumpkin or carrots) 5 garlic cloves Lemon to serve Optional: toasted nuts or seeds

METHOD: Huamata (Salad) •

• • •

Place the sliced rengakura and red onion into a small bowl, separately. Cover with half water, half white vinegar and sugar. Leave for 20 minutes in fridge.

Drain water/vinegar and boom, you’ve got yourself some pickled veggies!

Toss with mesclun and other salad ingredients, along with vinaigrette. Top with optional toasted seeds or nuts.

If you don’t have vinaigrette, it’s basically a mix oil, vinegar and acid. You can make your own easily, we like using olive oil, pesto and vinegar, or chilli oil, lemon juice and mustard.

Kūmara mash •

Roast vegetables at 180 degrees for about 30 minutes. Just shove them in the oven,

• •

don’t worry about oil or seasoning, that comes later.

Once done, peel the veg out of their skin and place in a bowl. For kūmara or potatoes, feel free to leave skins on.

Smash veggies with fork, gradually adding in teaspoons of butter to help bind. Stop when at a nice, creamy thick mash consistency.

Season to taste with S+P.

Rāwaru/White Fish • • • •

Dry fish using paper towel before cooking.

Place in a saucepan with oil/butter over medium high heat.

Cook the fillets for 2-3 minutes on one side.

Bast the top with the hot oil/butter until cooked through.

Serve on top of mash, enjoy!

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Sexcapades X-Rated Adventures of the Massey Underbelly Putting the "D" in Long D.

Got a confession, a naughty tale, a sexy story? Email sexcapades@massivemagazine.org.nz to submit yours xoxox During lockdown, I’m unfortunately doing long distance with my beau. I’m camped up at my parents’ house, eating dinner at 5pm and watching the chase, whilst he’s at his rowdy flat in palmy. So, not ideal (although the food is a lot better here). It’s SUCH a shame too, because we’re in the early honeymoon phase of our relationship, where basically all we want to do is fuck each other’s brains out. He’s a bit older than me, and looks it too, but he’s so hot and I miss him.

To try and keep the romance alive, we’ve had to come up with a next level plan. Every day at 4:30, I say I have a zoom meeting with my dissertation supervisor, and that I can’t be disturbed. My parents are often making dinner at this time, so they’re kept busy, whilst I go and engage in a bit of delightful zoom cyber sex with my boyfriend.

We use headphones so I can hear his moans.

He likes it when I video call him whilst sitting at my office chair, my legs fully spread eagle up on the desk whilst my fingers work their magic. Let’s just say, he gets a pretty good view.

OPENING HOURS: LUNCH 11:30AM - 3:00PM (MONDAY - SUNDAY) DINNER 5:00PM - 8:30PM (MONDAY - SATURDAY)

FRESH, FLAVORSOME VIETNAMESE CUISINE

62 DIXON ST, TE ARO, 6011, WELLINGTON

Only, it all went yesterday. I was masturbating at my desk, tits out and skirt hiked up around my waist, whilst my boyfriend was furiously pounding away at his meat on screen. It was pretty fucking steamy.

But then, something terrible happened.

Apparently, they’d TRIED knocking. I couldn’t hear them because of the headphones, so I guess we’ll never know. All I know is that my mum came up, saying “What takeaways do you want?” only to be greeted by a lovely view of my hand down my vag and some cock and balls on a screen. Yeah. I screamed “Get out!!” and she closed the door as quickly as she could.

Oh, and the worst part? They had a serious sit down with me afterwards because they thought he was my LECTURER. From all those fake zoom calls I made up!! FUcking hell. Could actually die from embarrassment right now. Need to move back to my flat asap.

SNIP, SNOP, SNAP SEND US YOUR SNAPS TO GET FEATURED IN NEXT WEEK’S EDITION @MASSIVE_MAG

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Horoscopes AQUARIUS

ARIES

Breakfast is an important meal of the day. Stop skipping it and you’ll feel 10x better, I promise.

Not to sound like your mother, but you need to eat more vegetables. Consider stocking up on some frozen peas for some lil meals?

Te Reo phrase of the week: Kia pai te ra

Te reo phrase of the week: Tino pai

CANCER

CAPRICORN

Go for some walks outside, I’m begging you. Fresh air will do you wonders.

You’ll have the urge to dramatically cut your own hair. Lean into it. Maybe it’s time for a fringe....

Te reo phrase of the week: Hāere ki waho

Te reo phrase of the week: Whakarongo mai

GEMINI

LEO

Your zoom crush will turn into something more this week. Don’t be afraid to send the first message.

Okay, so you’ve watched everything on Netflix! Time to “borrow” your friends Neon password. White Lotus is really good, just a PSA.

Te reo phrase of the week: Kia tere

Te reo phrase of the week: Tēnā koe e hoa

LIBRA

PISCES

Flatmate drama will emerge this week. Make sure to keep some extra toilet paper hidden in your room, just encase things escalate.

Maybe cut back on the screentime darling? You don’t have to be contactable at every waking hour. Read a book or some shit. Tiktok can wait.

Te reo word of the week: He tino makariri

Te reo word of the week: Ko wai tō ingoa?

SAGITTARIUS

SCORPIO

Get off those fast fashion sites and just do your laundry. Please.

Check your emails. Some good news will come to those who refresh thy inbox.

Te reo phrase of the week: Kei te hiakai koe?

Te reo phrase of the week: Tu meke

TAURUS

VIRGO

Jeans are just not in your immediate future. Invest in some more sweatpants!

Work is on the backburner this week, and that’s okay. Productivity is overrated anyway. Start looking at little houses in the woods you could move to instead, learn how to milk cows.

Te reo phrase of the week: Kei te pēhea koe?

Te reo phrase of the week: Kapai tō mahi!

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PUZZLE PAGE! WORD WHEEL

The target is to create as many words of 4 letters or more, using the letters once only and always including the letter in the middle of the wheel.

4-letter words: 24

7-letter words: 2

5-letter words: 7

9-letter words: 1

E X

6-letter words: 2

O

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E 06/09/2021, 06/09/2021, 14:53 14:54

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Printable Sudoku - Hard - 09/06/2021

Sudoku Sudoku - Easiest - Easy

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CROSSWORD Courtesy of Critic and Ciara White

ACROSS 1. Famous detective (8) 4. ____ Rica (5) 7. Save (6) 9. Sleeping (6) 10. Remains of an old building (5) 11. Permits (6) 12. Felt sorry for (6) 15. Company that made the Covid vaccine used in NZ (6) 16. NZ beach that featured in a TV show (4) 17. Rowing equipment (3)

18. ‘Big’ in te reo Māori (3) 19. Cold version of tea, coffee or chocolate (4) 21. Decide (6) 22. Ogres and onions have this in common (6) 25. Body art (6) 27. Scent (5) 28. World-wide (6) 29. Tiny tree (6) 30. First name of the actor of Mr Bean (5) 31. Type of gemstone (8)

DOWN 1. Important advice from Chris Hipkins (6,4,4) 2. Artist’s stand (5) 3. Baggy (9) 4. Hold tightly (5) 5. Divide (5) 6. Public health scientist (14) 8. Diversion (11)

13. ‘Small’ in te reo Māori (3) 14. Silly (5) 15. Expensive (5) 16. Fuzzy green table (4,5) 20. Make a mistake (3) 23. Arm joint (5) 24. Beauty parlour (5) 26. Delicious (5)

QUIZ QUIZ ANSWERS: 1. C) 2. C) 3. B) 4. C) 5. D) 6.C) 7. A) 8. B) 9. C) 10. C)

1. When was the first Māori Language Week?

A) 1955 B) 1965 C) 1975 D) 1985 2. Which of these iwi are based on the East Coast of Aotearoa?

D) 2006

D) Burger Fuel

5. It’s getting ................ in here, so take off all your clothes

8. Mā is white, whero is red, kākāriki green. Pango is black... What else is black?

A) Kōangi B) Makariri C) Nanenane D) Wera

A) Pāruri B) Mangu C) Parakaraka D) Māwhero

6. When did the Māori Language Act come into force, making te reo Māori an official language of New Zealand?

A) Te Rawara B) Ngāti Tuwharetoa C) Ngāti Porou D) Tainui 3. If you were going for a hī koi you are...

A) Going to the toilet B) Going for a walk D) Going for a swim C) Going for a shop

A) 1840 B) 1975 C) 1987 D) 1990

4. When was Māori TV launched?

7. In 2018, a Hastings burger outlet became the first of its kind in the country to offer menu items in te reo as well as English. Which fast food chain did the franchise belong to?

A) 1995 B) 2000 C) 2004

A) McDonalds B) Burger King C) Wendys

LAST ISSUE CROSSWORD ANSWERS - Across 1. Ex Boyfriend 8. Erection 9. Salami

10. Hilarious 11. Ram 14. Abstinent 16.

Excuse 17. Act 18. WAG 21. Hell 22.

Wobble 23. Red Flag 34. Sext 26.

9. Which of these letters is not in the Māori alphabet?

A) A B) M C) S D) O 10. A Māori proverb concludes that the most important thing in the world is: He tāngata, he tāngata, he tāngata. What does that mean in English?

A) It is love, it is love, it is love.

B) It is family, it is family, it is family.

C) It is people, it is people, it is people.

D) It is land, it is land, it is land.

Floppy Disc Down 1. Exercise 2. Bieber 3. Yeti 4. Rookie 5. Nostrils 6. Home Sick

7. Elmo 12. A Bugs Life 13. Beach 14.

Catdog 15. Beatbox 19. Freud 20.

Cherry 22. Washy 25. Tis

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