Massive Magazine Issue 22 2021 by Massive Magazine

Table of Contents 06

News

Peanut Butter Review

Waiata Sailing our Soundwaves

A Night with a Horse on Ketamine

Centrefold

Observations in Lockdown

The Rise of the Vibrator

Poem

Culinarylingus

Sexcapades

Snaps

Horoscopes

Puzzles

10 14

EDITOR Caroline Moratti

PHOTOGRAPHER Callum Parsons

SUB EDITOR Jamie Mactaggart

ILLUSTRATORS Tallulah Farrar, Sara Moana

NEWS EDITOR James Pocock STAFF WRITERS Cameron Taylor, Elena McIntyreReet, Ari Prakash, Mason Tangatatai, Michael Freeman DESIGNER Micah Davis-Rae

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Editorial

DAMN YOU ADOBE FLASH PLAYER. DAMN YOU FOR LEAVING US.

Last night, I experienced a kick of nostalgia for old gaming sites I used to fuck around on. You know, sites like GamesGames or Addictinggames, even Miniclip when the mood was right. I’d spend hours afterschool on these havens, gaming away the boredom and loneliness of an awkward 12-year-old. There were the classic escape room simulations, where you’d click around cupboards in increasing frustration. There were stressful action games, like BubbleTrouble, that took intense concentration and energy not to get killed off at any second. Then there were RPG games (my favourite) where you could run a small penguin pizza joint or animal shelter, date Adam Sandler or climb the social ladders of high school. But, as I soon found out, you can’t play these games anymore. And the reason all boils down to one simple answer: Adobe Flash Player. Adobe stopped supporting Flash Player in December 2020. I vaguely remember all the annoying pop-ups I’d get about it on my browser, but at the time I really wasn’t bothered. To me, it was the equivalent of all those “please back up your computer” or “your computer has updates ready to install” notifications I get. Sure, sounds like something I SHOULD check out, but that also sounds like a problem for another day. But now that day is here and I cannot play the games of my childhood. They’re lost behind grey boxes of “You need Adobe Flash Player to access this game”. Only that no longer EXISTS. Adobe Flash Player is dead. There’s no update, no simple download. The software is gone, along with my hopes of virtually dating Adam Sandler. This whole realisation is almost as devastating as the time my brothers sold my Simpsons Hit and Run Xbox game without telling me (yes, it’s been over 10 years and I’m still pissed about it, you little rascals). Sure, there’s been new games made since then on these sites. But let’s face it, they’re all a bit shit. I don’t want to virtually apply TikTok makeup to a baby’s face. I want to run a small farming village into the ground, dammit. Sometimes, there are people that care enough to somehow resurrect these games from the dead. Remember when Club Penguin was brought back from the dead? And not only that, but was made a socialist society through the elimination of membership? Or when old school RuneScape was offered alongside the newer, tackier one? These are the little things that keep me going through dark times such as these. But these resurrections happen few and far between, and only the big, publicly-backed games receive such attention. Not, you know, a shitty niche escape game. So, in the meantime, I just want to offer one final fuck you to Adobe Flash Player. You know what you did. You know what you took from us. X Caroline

Letters to the Editor

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I keep seeing people not wearing masks around campus??? C’mon guys, we’re in a fucking pandemic. Mask up, I know it’s a bit of a pain sometimes, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Don’t be a fuckwit. - Pissed Off

My flatmate keeps drinking my milk. Dave, can you stop? Please, it’s oat milk. I buy the good, expensive shit too. Just...stop. Sad oat

Massive, my flatmates are not doing their dishes and it is driving me UP the wall. Like, I might have to commit murder pretty soon. This is my confession tape. Please use it for any true crime podcasts in the future.

Hey Massive, Nice font choices. That’s all. Cheers, Sheriff. Serif Sans-Serif

MASSIVE NEWS

MAWSA election results announced I mean most of the roles were uncontested, so it’s not a HUGE surprise, but good 4 them!! CAROLINE MORATTI

WELLINGTON NEWS

great team lined up which will make for a strong MAWSA presence next year.” Khushboo Singh was elected Vice President by 114 votes, who says she’s “super excited to continue to represent our students”. Meanwhile, Kate Winsley nabbed the position of Academic Officer by 115 votes overall.

MAWSA election results were announced last Wednesday, with 146 students voting in the election, after nearly three weeks of campaigning by candidates.

Genevieve Rae was elected as Sustainability & Wellbeing Officer by 112 votes, and Maya Louw won the position of Candidate for Clubs & Campus Community Officer by 118 votes.

Fiona Lu and Elizabeth Hodgson won the Co-Presidency with 118 votes. “Thank you to those who voted for us! I am excited, nervous, but ready to take on this new chapter,” Fiona says.

The position of Welfare & Equity Officer was the only contested position, with students voting between Jo Sunga and Calista Cristobal. Jo Sunga ultimately took home the top spot, beating Calista by 38 votes, with a total of 76.

Elizabeth says she found out the results mid-vaccination, “so it’s been a day of wins for me”. She went on to say, “Bring on 2022! We are very excited to be leading this incredible new executive.” Fiona agreed, saying “I think we have a

Tessa Guest, current MAWSA President, says she’s “stoked” with the results, saying, “2022 will be a big year for MAWSA and we’ve got the right people to be leading the charge.” She acknowledges that she would have liked to NEWS

see more votes in this election “but I’m really appreciative of those who did participate, given the circumstances”. “I’m hopeful that next year, elections will be able to be run on campus, and we’ll be able to bring some more hype. I know you won’t agree Massive, but student democracy can be genuinely exciting,” Tessa says. Haha, whatever you say babe. The new executive will be introduced to students at MAWSA’s AGM in two weeks, where they’ll also draw the winner of a $200 PB Tech voucher for students that voted.

No fees rebate for internal students

lockdown windfall have been dashed. McGonagle-Daly said that the levy fees include subsidised health care, free counselling, career and personal development, and student representation and advocacy services. All those things have continued to operate at all alert levels. “Because these services have continued to be available to all students, this is not something the university would be able to refund,” he said. “We appreciate that online learning may not be what all students were expecting, but as we are in the midst of a global pandemic and with student wellbeing in mind, the certainty this provides students now will keep all of our students and staff safe.” Design student Ryan said that although he prefers in-class learning, he agrees that a rebate isn’t necessary for internal students, since students can still come on to campus to use any services they need. “I’m more of a person who likes to learn face-to-face, rather than online. So, to me at least, it’s a lot easier having someone talk to you and show you everything, like hands on stuff rather than online. I can understand the safety reasoning to a degree, and they were very good about it by making assignments pass/fail. So, they are being quite lenient and working through what’s happening,” Ryan said. Distance student Joe said he wasn’t sure what he thought about classes being mostly online for internal students but believed that a rebate would be fair with the change in circumstances. “It’s kind of about their consumer expectations from the beginning not being followed through, so I could understand why people would want a rebate,” Joe said.

JAMES POCOCK

NATIONAL NEWS

It’s been confirmed that there will be no fees rebate for internal students after Massey’s decision to have classes ‘mostly’ online for the rest of semester. Deputy Vice-Chancellor Students and Global Engagement Tere McGonagle-Daly explained that there is no difference in course fees between internal or distance, however internal students do pay higher levy fees than distance students normally. “For example, the student services levy for full-time internal students is $582.20 per year, and for a full-time distance student it is $261.20,” McGonagle-Daly said.

Design student Clare said it was “pretty gutting” to hear about classes moving online, as one now online class of hers does not suit the online Zoom format, but she was lucky enough to have other classes that were deemed essential in person. “There is a lot of discussion needed and people seem more nervous on Zoom than in person, so it is a bit harder. I think students should still have the option of staying on Zoom or coming to class,” she said. She wasn’t so sure about speaking on rebates, since she felt like she was one of the internal students least affected by the changes. “Personally, I’m ok with paying the same amount but there would definitely be a few other people in a situation worth refunding a few bucks over.”

This had left some students wondering if a rebate would be forthcoming given everyone at Massey will be essentially distance for the entire semester. However, any hopes of a NEWS

Massey wellbeing staff adapt to additional online only services

topics that students may like to learn more about,” they said. For Hannah and Em, they have each had to adapt to the lockdown in their own ways, which has brought its own challenges. Hannah has learnt to work from home around her two preschool-age children. “It was a reasonably smooth transition with the support of peers and management, and we are grateful to have access to the technology we do. I feel we have still managed to work effectively with supporting students despite the changing levels. My biggest regret however is not bringing my plants home the night we went into lockdown!” Em focuses on remembering what she can and can’t control to overcome the uncertainty of lockdown. “I like to remember the circles of influence and control – what can we control (not much in this situation) but we can influence more, including things we can do for our wellbeing like daily walks, eating a healthy and nutrient dense diet, [and] drinking lots of water. These little things do add up!” When asked what made them become wellbeing advisors for students, Hannah said she thought the job was a great way to work on the ground and make a real difference in people’s lives.

JAMES POCOCK

NATIONAL NEWS

Essential wellbeing services at Massey have been increased and adapted to online only, with wellbeing staff saying they’re ready to meet the challenge. Wellbeing Advisors Hannah Rankin and Em Hansen based at Manawatū are one such example, running online wellbeing workshops through September and October available to everyone. “The counselling team offered a workshop programme prior to the lockdown. Our plan was to present them on the Manawatū campus in person, with an option of people to attend online as well, however due to lockdown, we had to adapt,” Hannah and Em said. This is the first time these specific workshops have been run, but Hannah and Em said the series has adapted well to being an online offering and has had awesome attendance so far. Topics have included looking after yourself, managing stress and building resilience, eating well on a student budget, time management, and looking after others. “We have based the topics for this series around the general issues students have been presenting to us since starting our roles. Moving forward, we are open to feedback on which topics were useful and which weren’t and other

“I also really liked the idea of mental health promotion that comes with the role and the way it has allowed me to begin raising awareness of not only mental illness but mental wellbeing. It’s an exciting space to be working in and I can’t wait to see what the future will bring for our student care team.” Em said she has always been passionate about health and wellbeing, and she understood how challenging it could be to be a student from her own experience as one. “I am able to put myself in the shoes of my former self and ask, ‘What did I need to support my wellbeing and get me through my study?’” Deputy Vice-Chancellor Students and Global Engagement Tere McGonagle-Daly said online counselling, tele-health services and additional wellbeing workshops have all gone online for lockdown. “Health services are required to restrict the number of patients who come into the clinic even though they are an essential service and operating at Alert Level 3 and 4. This means students are triaged by telephone before attending in person or the entire consultation is online/virtual. This is common practice and a service we offer in normal times also.” Despite lockdown and the restrictions, McGonagleDaly said that Massey currently has a good availability of appointments with wellbeing staff, with additional wellbeing workshops and resources made available over lockdown and welfare checks by support staff as part of supporting students who say they are experiencing financial hardship. NEWS

New professor for Te Pūtahi-aToi

Sciences said, “We are honoured that Professor Mātāmua is joining us in this new role at Te Pūtahi-a-Toi.” Professor of Māori and Indigenous Education, Huia Jahnke, also said in a statement, “We are delighted that Professor Mātāmua is returning to Te Pūtahi-a-Toi as his appointment will help drive new research, scholarship and endeavour that reaches across the broadest possible span of Mātauranga Māori”.

MAWSA Euphoria Ball cancelled Owners of glitter eyeshadow palettes devasted

JAMES POCOCK

NATIONAL NEWS

An acclaimed expert in Māori astronomy is running the graduate programme at Te Pūtahi-a-Toi, the School of Māori Knowledge, as its new Professor of Mātauranga Māori. Professor Rangi Mātāmua, Ngāi Tuhoe, officially began at Massey at the beginning of September, after working at the University of Waikato, where he was a Professor and Associate Dean Postgraduate, School of Māori and Pacific Development. For Professor Mātāmua, it is like coming full circle after doing his PhD and working as a Research Manager at Te Pūtahi-a-Toi from 2001 to 2008. “It’s in many ways a bit of a homecoming for me. I grew up in the region. I was born in Palmerston North, raised in Horowhenua, did my secondary schooling in the Manawatū, so to be able to go back after working at Te Pūtahi-a-Toi is a real privilege and I am honoured,” Professor Mātāmua said. He hopes to use his experience with Māori astronomy and mātauranga Māori to support the ongoing work at Te Pūtahi-a-Toi. “I’d like to support the good work that’s being done at Te Pūtahi-a-Toi in terms of the culture studies and the language, also with a focus on postgraduate studies and just to be part of a very vibrant, exciting faculty.” When asked what he hoped for the future of Mātauranga Māori at Massey, Professor Mātāmua said he hoped that mātauranga Māori would continue to play a big part in who we are as a nation, not just at Massey. “I think Te Pūtahi-aToi has an important role to play in the maintenance and inclusion of mātauranga Māori in our society and that’s really what I hope the future will be.”

CAROLINE MORATTI

WELLINGTON NEWS

MAWSA’s planned “Euphoria” themed ball, planned to be held on October 2, has had to be cancelled due to Wellington staying in Alert Level 2 until at least October 4. A MAWSA staff member says they are “deeply saddened” at the news, but promises that all attendees will be given a full refund. The event was planned to be held at Courtenay Creative, with DJ Ethan Baldey set to perform for 180 guests. However, MAWSA promises to “run at least one student ball in 2022 and make the occasion even larger and more amazing than this one”. In the meantime, Euphoria has started production on season 2, so there’s always a silver lining. Surely Rue and Jules will get back together, right??

Professor Cynthia White, Pro Vice-Chancellor Te Kura Pūkenga Tangata, College of Humanities and Social NEWS

NUT IN ME, NUT IN YOU

WORDS BY CAROLINE MORATTI FEATURES

Whether you’re throwing it in a stir-fry or smothering it on toast at 2am, peanut butter is a sexy, sultry staple for any sensible student. A little bit salty, a little bit sweet, it’s the perfect snack for lovers (let’s just say peanut butter won’t be the only thing you spread). But with so much variety to choose from, what is the best? Is it worth spending more bucks; will you get more bangs? Massive ventured to find out. For the purposes of this experiment, we decided to taste test all the different varieties of crunchy peanut butter that we could find at our local Countdown (not sponsored). Sorry to smooth fans, you’re objectively wrong about your preferences. Life is dull and meaningless and a little bit of crunch is the only thing that keeps me going. Crunch, crunch, crunch!

Essentials Crunch: This is, perhaps, the least offensive peanut butter to ever exist. It’s extraordinarily edible, purely because there’s no risks taken. No bold flavour choices, no drive for texture. Essentials lives and dies by the book; nothing more, nothing less. Overall, a pleasant, if not underwhelming, condiment. Dull, mild, whatever you want to call it. Oh, and minimal crunch and nuttage. For a cheap little wallop, you can’t really do much better. But for long term satisfaction, Essentials doesn’t really butter the ol’ peanut, if you get me. Taste: 5/10 Cost: $2.10

Bega:

Bega’s slogan is “never oily, never dry”. We don’t disagree. Great viscosity and spread from this newcomer. Micah, Massive’s designer, was sceptical considering they were an Aussie brand, as he has a deep mistrust of kangaroos (“What are they hiding in those pouches?”) but even he was impressed at the textural components of this fine butter. However, when it came time for flavour town, there were some bumps in the road. At first bite, I was wowed. Bega packs a fucking punch. But then it kept hitting. And didn’t stop. Every bite was emotionally confusing. Was it overwhelming? Delicious? Too salty? At the end of it all I was longing for a glass of milk. Reverted back to a stage of infanthood, if you will, pining for a comforting breast to take the pain of life away. We could only handle one small sliver of toast before we had to call it a day. Overall, Bega took some risks and only some paid off. If you’re a diehard smoker or vape hooner, your tastebuds might love this lively little guy. For everyone else, have a cow handy. Taste: 7/10 Cost: $4

Sanitarium: Full disclosure: This is Micah’s go-to brand already, so he was a very biased little man. “Nice amount of bulge,” he complimented the spread as he held it upside down. “Mmm, look at that spread.” From the get-go he was waxing lyrical about his childhood, talking some shit about playing video games and jumping on the trampoline. He was happy, which was unusual for him at work. As the only objective judge, I was left to make the final call. And this is what I shall say for Sanitarium. It’s VERY creamy. Honestly, just like eating buckets of salted cream. I needed more nuts and I needed them fast. Anything to break up the cream-fest that was happening in my mouth. We bickered a bit about the final rating, but honestly, I think we can all do better than Sanitarium. Sure, it’s great for cereal. But in the famous words of Sharpay Evans: stick to the stuff you know. Taste: 6.5/10 (Micah was screaming for a 10 as he ran to the bathroom to dry his pants) Cost: $4.70 FEATURES

Macro Organic: Everyone in the room groaned when we brought this bad boy out. Macro Organics had shat the bed in our last review (baked beans) and no one had high hopes for a comeback. Upon opening the jar, a thick layer of oil covered our precious spread. “Oh God, it’s going everywhere,” lamented Micah as he tried desperately to stir the mixture together. “It’s fucking half made, it should be half the price.” Clearly someone is against decent wages for peanut butter workers. But he wasn’t entirely wrong. The smell was funky and the colour was ... off. Compared to its peanut siblings, Macro looked positively puke-like, although thankfully they were generous with the peanuts. Micah took one bite then grimaced. “This is what a peanut factory would taste like.” He threw the rest of his toast out, cursing under his breath. However, I’m willing to defend Macro, just a touch. Yes, it’s very peanuty. A roasted peanut flavour, if you will. But isn’t that the point of peanut butter? I’m not going around knocking over jam jars because they taste too much like raspberry. Macro tried something different. It’s not for everyone, but at least they attempted to go beyond the ordinary. They dared to dream. Should we punish them for that? How can we judge them, when they’ve done more than we’ve ever done? Taste: 4/10 Cost: $5.50

Mother Earth: Mother Earth, you mother fucker. Whilst you might offer decent muesli bars, a good peanut butter you doth not maketh. Once again, there was more oil than a BP spill. Enjoy these quotes by Micah as he attempted to mix the oil and the butter together, accidentally whacking most of it around the room: “Are they literally expecting us to do this?” “Oh God,” and “Mess. There’s so much mess. I can’t get over this. Peanut butter is supposed to be easy.” Overall, it’s a backpacker’s breakfast, through and through. Oily, bland and a bit stingy on the peanuts. But worst of all: it leaves you feeling dry and miserable. Taste: 3/10 Cost: $5

Pic’s:

Pic’s is another oily princess, although perhaps not so bad as some of its competitors. Or maybe by this time we were sadly used to the sorry state of the world. To be fair, Pic’s is actually an excellent peanut butter. But at this point, they were our sixth peanut butter and even if had been laced with gold fucking flakes, I still would have thought it was the most disgusting thing on the planet. There is such a thing as too much peanut butter and, my friends, we found the line that day. A fatigue had set in. To avoid vomming my breakfast, we took a breather for a couple of hours. By the time we were reintroduced to the butter, I was pleasantly surprised. It’s fun and favourable, with little pops of salt hitting your tongue in a delicious little way. A touch of a dry-mouth feel to the spread, but nothing that doesn’t disappear within seconds of consumption. However, Pic’s lost a point for the frankly weird way they describe their factory on the bottle: “There lies a magical kingdom where all your peanut butter dreams can come true... the moment The Great Star Door swings open and you step into Pic’s Peanut Butter World; your life will change forever.” This isn’t Alice in Wonderland, chill Pic. We get it, you’ve done LSD. Either share it or shut up. Taste: 9/10 Cost: $6.90

FEATURES

Fix & Fogg: Ah Fix & Fogg, you classy bastards. They don’t even have regular crunchy, oh no, they only sell “Super Crunchy”. Now, I know these guys have a reputation for fun flavours. But without chocolate doing the heavy lifting, how good are the bare bones of the spread? Well, not bad at all. The butter had a mild, almost almond-like taste to it. It wasn’t boring, no, rather refined and elegant. Fix & Fogg is blended with Marlborough sea salt, which prompted an intense discussion as to whether Marlborough sea salt is different from any other type of sea salt. Micah thought no, passionately yelling “It’s just salt! From the sea!” as various points. I, however, believe in different salts. To each their own. After a bit of salt-chat, we returned for one final spoonful. Only to realise that... it was a touch oily? In the space of five minutes, the texture had already melted into something more slippery than James Corden’s movie career. Just actually not that nice. Really put a damper on the whole afternoon. Taste: 7/10 Cost: $6.90

Forty Thieves: This tub of lovin’ had the best label by far. Just cute vibes all round. And they use pink salt! I felt like I was back in 2016 Tumblr with millennial pink iPhones and Wes Anderson gifs, ready to ravage me. Forty Thieves advertised themselves as vegan and keto-friendly which, after a bit of research, it turns out practically all peanut butter fits those guidelines. So, a bit overkill on the branding guys, but I’ll forgive you. Gotta respect the hustle. But asides from looking cute, Forty Thieves failed to make a triumphant splash on the peanut butter scene. The flavour was there, don’t get me wrong. But the texture was DRY. After all the oil disasters of the others, now here we were, gasping for a bit of wetness. I don’t care if it’s natural or lubed up to the heavens. Just a bit of moisture, please sir! Taste: 6/10 Cost: $6.90

Nut Brothers: Okay, it has to be said. These guys deserve the win for the name alone. Brothers who nut together, win together. The good shit came in a HUGE jar (hot!), very big daddy energy, with even bigger nuts. No seriously, some of the nuts weren’t even chopped up. They were just lying there, all coated in the butter of their brothers. Great texture, yet something was ... off. Well, not even off, but interesting. An unknown entity that no one could put their finger on. It was almost, dare I say, savoury? But not due to salt, oh no. This was another beast altogether. Almost like a smidge of spice (though not spicy), yet we couldn’t find anything on the label that would corroborate this sensation. Nut Brothers was just made of nuts and salt. It was maddening. What are you made of, my friends? What are you hiding? Taste: 7/10 Cost: $7.49

Our Winner: Pic’s Sure, it’s on the more expenny end, yet Pic’s somehow still feels like a working man’s butter. It lacks the tacky gentrification of Forty Thieves or Fix & Fogg, whilst still retaining a refined approach to its craft. A delightfully tasty little butter, with nuts aplenty, Pic’s is Massive’s 2021 winner.

FEATURES

W IN CONVERSATION WITH MARLON GERBES AND REI WORDS BY MASON TANGATATAI

Catchy tunes, melodic messages and anthems that are recognised across the motu – modern Māori artists have reached the top of the charts using te reo and kaupapa Māori within their waiata. With this recent revival of te reo within our music proving fruitful, will reo across our soundwaves become just another token fad, or is there real potential in our language being a musical staple among tangata whenua, Pākehā and tauiwi? What better way to learn about the revival of reo in our music, than by talking to the trailblazing Māori musicians about their journey with reo - I sat down with Six60 member, Marlon Gerbes and Māori hip-hop artist, Rei. Six60 – the polarising poster boys of the New Zealand music industry. You don’t have to be a fan of Six60 to appreciate what they have done for Aotearoa. Their most recent journey and one that has warranted nationwide support, is the band’s use of te reo and taonga pūoro. In 2019, Six60 was approached by Dame Hinewehi Mohi, who was the first person to sing our national anthem in te reo Māori on an international stage. Mohi worked closely with Six60 to translate their song Don’t Forget Your Roots into te reo. For Gerbes, this kaupapa kickstarted his Māoritanga journey, allowing him to take steps towards learning his whakapapa. “We are Māori, but we didn’t grow up with te reo, with tikanga or an understanding of te ao Māori. There were nerves going into this process, but it quickly turned from a sense of whākama into excitement once we started to dive into it.” In 2019, Hinewehi Mohi and Sir Tīmoti Kāretu’s kaupapa came to life when Waiata Anthems debuted at #1 on the NZ Top 40 chart – the first fully te reo album to do so. The album spent 16 weeks in the top 40, and achieved gold status record sales and received countless Māori language awards. Kia Mau Ki Tō Ūkaipō, or Don’t Forget Your Roots, was a marquee song on this album. “Once we finished Kia Mau Ki Tō Ūkaipō, we had the confidence to take this kaupapa to the next level and create our own originals in reo.”

WAIATA SAILING OUR SOUNDWAVES

WORDS BY MASON TANGATATAI

FEATURES

hortly after Kia Mau Ki Tō Ūkaipō was released, Gerbes and the rest of Six60 spent four days at Mohi’s whare in Hawke’s Bay, creating original songs using te reo – Pepeha, their newest single, was the standout from this session. “Pepeha is just the tip of the iceberg of all the learning, emotion and culture that built this journey – creating this song has filled our souls and given us a strong sense of purpose.” “We were able to learn from experts like Hinewehi and Tīmoti this music is an end product of their dedication and understanding of our culture.” Hinewehi also helped Six60 incorporate taonga pūoro, or indigenous sounds, into their music.

“When we were in Los Angeles creating our song Sundown, we got to the end and felt like an element was missing. I remembered that Hinewehi had sent me an email of taonga pūoro, we started sampling and mixing these into Sundown and before we knew it, 80-90 per cent of the song had taonga pūoro running through it - people always comment on it, they can feel that Māori influence.” Earlier this year, Six60 hosted the largest concert in the entire world as New Zealand was exempt from Covid-19 lockdowns. Kia Mau Ki Tō Ūkaipō was performed, giving the Māori language a global spotlight. While performing live, Gerbes is honoured to be a mouthpiece for tangata whenua and tauiwi to enjoy te reo in all its lyrical glory. “When performing Kia Mau

Ki Tō Ūkaipō live, I get swept away. When that te reo moment hits the atmosphere shifts, this swirling of mana starts to fill the stadium. When we play in te reo, it’s not about us, it’s not for us. It’s about Māori singing with pride and joy as their language is put on a pedestal.” Rei, a hip-hop artist based in Tāmaki Mākarau grew up with a strong understanding of te reo, te aō Māori and tikanga. His journey to create music which incorporated te reo, was a path he always knew he wanted to travel. “Music and te reo were the two subjects I was into at school. I was lucky enough to get my BA in Māori, so naturally I’ve combined these two passions together to create music that’s unapologetically me.” Back in the rā, 2013 to be precise, FEATURES

“We welcome you to our whare, we’re happy to have you in the whare, we want you in the whare - but make sure you take your shoes off, and never lose that respect you entered with.”

a fresh-faced Rei created his first song, Chiefing. While this tune didn’t use te reo lyrics, the song had strong elements of kaupapa Māori, encouraging listeners to find their inner rangatira, or chief. As an artist that was ahead of the mainstreaming of te reo in music, Rei wants to make sure others are contributing to a fulltime kaupapa of language revitalisation, not just hopping on the bandwagon when it’s topical. “It’s great to hear te reo being sung and produced during Te Wiki o te Reo Māori, but it also feels slightly tokenistic, especially to those upholding this kaupapa year-round.” One of Aotearoa’s most internationally renowned artists, Lorde, released a five-track EP featuring a selection of songs from her latest album Solar Power translated into te reo Māori. The EP, titled Te Ao Mārama is at the centre of a fiery discourse on whether Pākehā should produce music in te reo. When done properly, Rei encourages Pākehā to add te reo into their music. “I support it 100% - it’s important for our te reo survival to have non-Māori speaking and being confident to release te reo music.” Our Māori activists didn’t wait for the perfect time to push for the inclusion of reo in radio, television, or for kura kaupapa and kōhanga reo to be established. If te reo is not mainstream in our music industry, there will always be backlash when it is used. By acting as gatekeepers towards Pākehā using our language, we are condemning te reo to a back-seat future. For Rei, it’s easy to see why Māori may look at this kaupapa sideways, but the growth and awareness gained by Pākehā artists using te reo outweighs the skepticism. “There is a small niggle of envy, especially for us artists that have been using te reo for years now. It’s like when you find that underground artist you like, you build that connection, then everyone else finds out how good they are, it feels like your relationship, your hononga is diminished.” “But these feelings don’t mean much. As Māori, it’s helpful to understand that our connection to te reo is always going to have an extra layer than some. Let’s acknowledge that and realise there’s no point in gatekeeping our language.” Rei had a few final words to the Pākehā and tauiwi using te reo and taonga pūoro in their waiata. “We welcome you to our whare, we’re happy to have you in the whare, we want you in the whare - but make sure you take your shoes off, and never lose that respect you entered with.”

“When we play in te reo, it’s not about us, it’s not for us. tI ’s about ori M singing with pride and joy as their language is put on a pedestal.”

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TRANQUILIZE MY HEART, HORSE: A TRUE STORY OF FRIENDSHIP AGAINST ALL ODDS Horses and I have never quite seen eye to eye. Perhaps it’s something in their beastly nature, their walk, their essence. They eat apples. I do not. They enjoy running around. I do not. Our differences have, time and time again, added up to this huge, unsurpassable wall between us. That all changed a week ago. I was invited to a friend’s house out in the countryside. After a few weeks stuck inside my house, I was ready for a change, and the whole idea seemed very jovial and Jane Austenish. My friend, Ben, was a Palmerston North lad who enjoyed drinking DBs and smoking cigarettes sitting on the back of his ute. He also owned a horse. Hercules was the horse’s name. A slender brown steed, with a glistening look in his eye that only invited trouble. For the first few days I stayed well clear of the one-toed hoofed mammal. Yes, you heard me. One-toed. And that’s not even a Hercules thing, that’s just a horse thing. As I said, we had our differences. We didn’t have much to do with each other, which is how I liked it. During the days, me and Ben would shoot clay pigeons and play video games, passing the time between each can of beer.

Only at night, would I hear Hercules’ wailing neighs. Beckoning me. I would shut the window pane as quick as I could, trembling slightly. Near the end of my stay, Ben had an idea. His parents were out of town for the day, and he’d sussed some ketamine from his local dealer. I’d never done ket before; weed or MD was usually my drug of choice. But I was bored and ready to get fucked up. So, we took a pill each and waited for it to kick in. Soon, it began. I felt...silly. Happy, even. Grinning from ear to ear. Fucking hell. It was a good feeling. We started out watching a movie, reclined on puffy beanbags that looked like faces. The movie droned in the background whilst I luxuriously stretched out, wriggling my fingers and toes one by one. About 20 minutes in, Ben left the room. He wanted to call his girlfriend to tell her how much he loved her. I left him to it. In the background, I could hear a gentle whinny. Hercules. He was calling me. Cautiously, I stood up, my legs like lime-green jell-o in each step. I somehow managed to get outside, I don’t quite know how. The grass was rustling luminously in the wind. Everything was so vivid, so heightened. I found my way to the stable, almost drunkenly. There Hercules stood, his brown fur almost glowing black in the dim light. How had I never seen that his beauty before? Once, I’d thought FEATURES

of him as a plain, drab horse. No more. There was a refined elegance to the way he dipped his face to his hay, almost shyly. A long, noble nose that beckoned me forwards. Longing to be touched. I sat beside him in the hay. Hercules grunted to acknowledge my presence, and continued eating. Hesitantly, I put out a hand to stroke his muzzle. He bristled for the barest second, then seemed to relax into my fingers. His hair was the softest, purest thing I could imagine. In that moment, I swear I loved him. It was also in that moment that I remembered that ketamine is famously a horse tranquilizer. Of course. Of course. “Is this how you feel, Hercules?” I asked into the cold silence.

to really feel something. Do you have children, Hercules? Parents? Friends? Lovers? Why are you out here, all alone? Is it by choice, or by force? How does it feel to be ridden? To have someone’s weight upon you, their life, their trust? Is it comforting, like a weighted blanket? Pleasing to help a friend in need? Or is it oppressive under all the pressure - both physically and metaphorically? As the time passed, I began to feel like it was more the latter. Oh poor, sweet Hercules. My Hercules. I don’t know how long we stayed like that. It could have been minutes, or hours. I felt so disconnected from the physical world, as if my soul had slipped from my body, peeled off like a wetsuit or an orange skin. It was only me and Hercules, two old souls, in the woods of life. Eventually, I heard my name being called and I slipped back into myself. Made my way back to the little kitchen, with my little friend. My old life, full of hubris and smoke. More man than horse.

“It was also in that moment that I remembered that ketamine is famously a horse tranquilizer. Of course.” Did he feel it too, that very second? That quivering, violent beauty of life? The sound of the grass in the breeze, the call of the moon? That joy, oh that infinite joy, tea-stained around the edges with grief and loss? Maybe this was why horses run. They run for life. To escape the edges of it all. What are you running from Hercules? What horrors have you committed in your life? What sins? And could they ever be forgiven?

I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to Hercules the next day, I left too early. Besides, I didn’t feel like explaining our newfound emotional connection to Ben. But now, a week later, I can’t stop thinking about that night. I know what it’s like to be a horse. The highs, the lows. The yays, the neighs. How can I go back to my life now, after that? Knowing what I know? Having seen what I’ve seen? Tell me reader, what do I do now?

At that thought, he sighed slightly as if to say, I don’t know either. We are all just doing our best, in this life. I pressed my face to his, cheek to cheek. I’m sorry I judged you, Hercules. I understand you, now. I get the apple thing too, almost. How crisp, how hard. A fruit FEATURES

LOCKDOWN

OBSERVATIONS IN

THESE ARE MY OBSERVATIONS DURING LEVEL 4 LOCKDOWN IN WELLINGTON. WHEN LIFE CAME TO A STANDSTILL, I WANTED TO CAPTURE THE EERINESS OF THE CBD AND SURROUNDING SUBURBS. COOPED UP INSIDE, A TRIP TO NEW WORLD IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK. OR, AT LEAST THAT’S HOW I SAW IT ON THAT EXACT TRIP.

A PHOTOGRAPHIC ESSAY BY CALLUM PARSONS FEATURES

N FEATURES

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Okay folks, I’m gonna say it on behalf of everyone: THANK FUCK FOR VIBRATORS. As a loyal vibrator user, using one has changed my life, and I mean that with absolute seriousness. Part of it is because it’s the facilitator for my orgasms (enough said). But it truly means so much more than that, for myself and for many others.

WORDS BY

CAMERON TAYLOR FEATURES

Male pleasure has always been deemed as superior, with Hallie Lieberman discussing in her book ‘Buzz: The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy’ that the erection-inducing drug Viagra is actually covered under American health insurance. The reason behind this is because “erections are considered medically necessary for normal sexual functioning, but orgasms are not”. This is just one example out of thousands showing male pleasure overriding female pleasure. There’s also the whole issue of the orgasm gap; a collection of multiple studies done to highlight the huge gap between the number of orgasms a woman has compared to a man in a heterosexual relationship. Sex toys have become more mainstream than ever in the last few years, ESPECIALLY vibrators. The Satisfyer Pro, in particular, turned into a raging trend on the internet, with me and my close girl friends purchasing ours at the same time because of how much we’d seen and heard about them. We simply had to know what all the craze was about and, in my experience, it LIVED UP to the hype. However, the rise of the vibrator within modern society means more than vaginas being sexually satisfied. This movement has finally put female pleasure at the forefront, rather than allowing it to continue as a ‘taboo’ subject. After Massive interviewed a range of vibrator users, it was clear to see that the rise of the vibrator within society has resulted in extremely positive results for young ladies within New Zealand. When discussing what prompted them to buy a vibrator, Eden discussed how masturbation had always been tapu in her household and community, but seeing as her “sex drive is a bit ridiculous”,

she “took matters into my own hands”. Luckily for Eden, who was at Otago Uni at the time, there was a code going around the Uni for a free vibrator which she quickly latched onto before upgrading to the Satisfyer Pro. Eden now has “a beautiful collection, which has never come in handy more than now following a long term break up”. For others, like Rebecca, Layla, and Harriet, they were prompted just like me by the Satisfyer Pro 2 craze. Harriet “discovered the world of masturbation through this purchase alone”, and has “bought many more since”. Purchasing sex toys can be a WHOLE range of feelings: excitement, shame, fear, happiness, guilt. And it’s no wonder - masturbation for women can be seen as an extremely taboo topic. Eden was “really excited” but also “a bit embarrassed depending on who I was talking to”, as while she is a “pretty open book sexually”, she knew that really wasn’t the case for many others. Rebecca felt a “bit more comfortable” seeing as the purchase was done online but “still it felt like I was doing something wrong”. She describes how she “sat outside for days waiting for it to arrive in case the package wasn’t discreet”. Layla was on a similar boat, saying she was “glad it came in discreet packaging so my flatties didn’t see what it was”. Harriet “felt taboo but only from internalised shame about it”, but also found that “it was exciting because it was taboo”. For these ladies, owning a vibrator means different but equally amazing things for each of them. Eden feels that owning a vibrator means “independence, knowledge, and understanding”, as well as “mutual pleasure, and that my break up sucks two per cent less”. In Rebecca’s case it means “I can get off whenever the hell I want without having

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to rely on a bloody man”, discussing how the process also helps reduce her stress and anxiety. Layla’s perception is also about controlling “how you want to be pleasured”, and Harriet has noticed that owning one has made her “more open to talking to my friends about it”, showing that more meaningful conversations around sex for women are FINALLY being opened up and normalised on a more regular basis. Alongside talking to these women, I also got the chance to talk to Kate Spencer from Wellington. Kate is an avid sex toy user, an affiliate with Adulttoymegastore, and a poet who writes poetry about her sex life and sexuality. When I approached her about the rise of vibrators, she quoted “I’m fucking ecstatic!!! I’ve been a fan for my whole adult life and have tried to normalise talking about sex, sex toys and sexuality.” Kate is a huge inspiration for opening up conversations about female pleasure, with her first solo comedy show called ‘Squirt’ about her “being an overtly sexual, sexy woman who squirts. I am unashamed by how much I love sex.” She is also currently working on a sequel: ‘Squirt 2: Cum Again?’

The fact that vibrators and other sex toys for female pleasure are finally becoming mainstream is a BIG deal for women everywhere, myself included. For centuries, women’s bodies and female pleasure has been looked down on as an icky subject not worth discussing. FUCK THAT. We deserve ALL the orgasms and sexual gratification that our body can physically handle. It’s more than just sex: it’s independence, pleasure, knowledge, open conversations with your friends, control, normalisation, getting rid of the internalised shame about our bodies and our sexual urges. As Kate said, “Thank fuck that female pleasure is being taken more seriously. For too long, female sexuality and desire has been ignored by the patriarchy. Fuck yeah for us fighting back!” For a 10% off discount at Adulttoymegastore, you can use Kate’s discount code (KATE10) at checkout. She also recommends the store ‘Clean Satisfaction’ for ceramic dildos (‘low waste sex toys, yes please!’) You can also visit her website (www.creatifkate.com) to keep up with her incredible endeavours.

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*submit your poems or short stories to editor@massivemagazine.org.nz

Hold Anonymous

The electric blanket is on, has been for hours, And we lie flat, like cardboard, and you are with me, as always. We don’t get out of bed for many days. There is no point. A frost is smoking outside, walk past quickly, don’t breathe it in. Grab the pillows, the good ones. You know which ones. And you do know, Don’t you. We have no jobs, No exes, no grief. Yet we have so little of the good stuff too — We want baggage, something to hold. We sign leases on old villas to give our names to something.

Marry me.

We clutch our beer and put our nails into the walls and pretend we made a dent. Perhaps in my mattress, we will.

Culinarylingus A Breakfast Wrap with CRUNCH By Caroline Moratti

Breakfast is always a tricky meal of the day, especially on the weekends. I’m sick of eating toast or cereal, I want something to dazzle me. Or at the very least, a light razzle will do. A breakfast burrito is exactly what you need. It’s crunchy, salty, and cheesy, but packs a punch thanks to pickles and hot sauce. Quite simply, it’s my favourite thing in the world. Capable of curing all hangovers, you need to try this bad boy ASAP.

INGREDIENTS: • • • • •

1 baby gherkin/pickle Half a tomato Couple of slices of a cheese of your choice 2 eggs 1 tortilla

• •

2 hearty squirts of garlic aioli (or if you want to be extra fancy, grate some garlic into sour cream) Sriracha/tabasco/whatever chilli sauce you have

METHOD: 1.

Slice your half tomato and baby gherkin. With your tomato, place on a paper towel to draw moisture out and add salt to that baby. 2. In a pan, on medium, heat up some oil and add your eggs. With a spatula, start to scramble the whites around, being careful not to disturb the yolk. Once the whites are fully scrambled, pierce the yolk and scramble them in. This will all take less than a minute and you’ll want to take the eggs off the heat pretty soon after piercing the yolks for a nice moist, marbled scramble. Season with salt and pepper.

3. Assembly time! Get your garlic aioli and spread it all over your tortilla. Leave some aioli-less space around the edges of the tortilla. Place your scrambled eggs in a single line, about a third into the tortilla. On top, add your cheese, tomatoes and gherkin. Splatter with your sriracha/tabasco, season with salt and pepper. 4. Roll up your tortilla securely, like tucking a babe in a blanket. 5. Place your tortilla in a hot, oiled pan, flipping when golden brown on both sides.

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Sexcapades X-Rated Adventures of the Massey Underbelly Jackhammer Goes Wrong

Got a confession, a naughty tale, a sexy story? Email sexcapades@massivemagazine.org.nz to submit yours xoxox Massive, my worst nightmare came true. Let me set the scene: I was FINALLY getting together with the guy I liked. I’d had a huge crush on him all year, and after a drunken confession at a party, here we were, hooking up. We were kissing, he was taking off my clothes. It was all I’d ever wanted. I wanted to show him how much I liked him so, of course, I went down on him. I was teasing his cock like a fucking pro, licking his balls, just going for my life here. I was going to show this man the best time ever, and then he’d have no choice to fall in love with me and marry and impregnate me. I was already picturing our honeymoon as I deepthroated his throbbing shaft. But then, for some inexplicable reasons, he started to jackhammer my throat. I know. Literally the man of my dreams, and here he was, trying to fuck my mouth like a goddamn wood pecker.

Literally all I could think was “Oh no, baby. Not you.” I was SO disappointed. Let me suck you off, dammit!! Let me set the pace and rhythm, please. My mouth is not a vagina, please do not treat it as such. So, of course, the inevitable happened. He thrust his member too far down my drunken throat and my throat reacted. A sea of watermelon cruisers and night n’ day wedges poured out of my mouth and onto his dick. Not just his dick actually, all over his chest and legs. I couldn’t stop it, he’d opened the floodgates. All I could do was sadly vomit onto this boy that I really liked. Time slowed down in that moment. I could see the panic in his eyes. I could smell the vomit, dribbling from my face and his cock and everything was so vividly horrible. I jumped off the bed as quick as I could and ran to the bathroom, horrified. Needless to say, he did not call the next day.

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POWERSHOP MASSIVE INTRODUCES

WINNER #1

ALEX BRUMMER

Power to the people.

@alexanderbrummer

SNIP, SNOP, SNAP SEND US YOUR SNAPS TO GET FEATURED IN NEXT WEEK’S EDITION @MASSIVE_MAG

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Horoscopes AQUARIUS

ARIES

Aquarius, I want you to try your very best this week to actually listen to people. People know when you’re not listening and if you don’t start at least pretending to care you can say goodbye to your Friday night drinks invite. We both know you don’t want that.

This week, your flatmate will ask if you know who used the last of their cheese. Own up, Aries. And be nice about it. You stole their cheese, not the other way around. Go to the supermarket and buy them some more. No need to make a scene.

TV show recommendation: Love on the Spectrum.

TV show recommendation: Sex, Love, and goop.

CANCER

I’m sensing some seriously good omens for you, Cancer! This week, you’re not going to cry. Not even one little tear while you watch the last episode of Sex Education. You’re a force to be reckoned with this week. Make sure you do something bad ass like getting a nipple piercing so you never forget how hot you are. TV show recommendation: Handmaid’s Tale.

GEMINI

CAPRICORN

Just because the zodiac TikToks always forget about you doesn’t mean you’re a wallflower. This week, do something to remind you of the #girlboss you are! Stop cleaning up your flatmates’ dishes! Leave the seat up! Ask to speak to a manager! You got this, Capricorn. TV show recommendation: Cooking with Paris.

LEO

This week, you’re going to find out some very exciting news. Perhaps about a summer internship you applied for, perhaps you got an A+ on that bitch of an assignment. Whatever it is, Gemini, you deserve it. Just don’t forget about your mates who’ve done shit. Give them some hype, too.

Leo, Leo, Leo. I’m getting really sick and tired of your shit. Do something this week to change your vibes. Here’s a suggestion: Scrub your skid marks off the toilet once you’ve taken a shit! It takes two seconds and is a big step in the direction of you becoming less of a cunt. With love <3

TV show recommendation: Love is Blind.

TV show recommendation: Game of Thrones.

LIBRA

PISCES

Uh oh, Libra, I’m sensing a shift in the balance of the scales. Lots of social activity is coming your way and, with that, some old feelings from an old love may resurface. Do not – under any circumstances, no matter what they say – give this love all your attention. We both know they don’t deserve it.

No, Pisces, that person who smiled at you on Saturday night is not harbouring an intense crush for you. And that barista who gave you a large instead of a regular is not having sex dreams about you. Focus on the actual love you have in your life like, oh, I don’t know, your partner?

TV show recommendation: Sex Education.

TV show recommendation: Below Deck.

SAGITTARIUS

With lockdowns easing up, it’s time to put your money where your mouth was when you were coming up with all your longterm goals during Level 4. Get that gym membership! Stop sleeping with that one asshole! Eat some spinach! I believe in you, Sagittarius. TV show recommendation: Money Heist.

TAURUS

There’s only a few more weeks left in the academic year. I know you’ve been trying very hard to be patient with others all year, don’t let it go to shit now. Deep breaths, Taurus. Let’s try to go into summer on a good note with all of our friends, yeah? TV show recommendation: Euphoria.

SCORPIO

Scorpio, babes, I love how you bend the rules and cheat the system. I’m give you forewarning now though: You will not finesse your final assessments the way you did last year. Stop reading this immediately and do some real fucking work. TV show recommendation: Squid Game.

VIRGO

Spring has sprung, Virgo! You’re about to thrive like you’ve never thrived before! Take chances, live life. Nothing but good vibes are coming your way. Go frolic in a field of sunflowers or something, idk. TV show recommendation: Love Island (Season 1).

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PUZZLE PAGE! WORD WHEEL

The target is to create as many words of 4 letters or more, using the letters once only and always including the letter in the middle of the wheel. 4-letter words: 12

7-letter words: 2

5-letter words: 9

9-letter words: 1

N S

6-letter words: 2

S 22/09/2021, 22/09/2021, 13:26 13:26

sudoku.cool

1 7 7

5 5

6 1

92 1

8 7 4

7 3

9 4

7 1 8

5 6

2 7

09/22/2021

7 5

1 56

9 77 64

EASY

3 2

655 98 9

1 4 9 1 7

41 6 6 7

52 8

9 6

3 2

61 2

6 3

27 8

4 2

12 69 2

E Hine Ē 1TE KAAHU 8

FRANK 5GRIMES 5 QUALMS

65 5

12 3

24 4 6 76 44

Mood Ring Lorde 5

TUA 7 5 31 4 Stan Walker feat. Ibanez Mae

3 12 8

3611 1 8 8 6 6

5 7

2 5

3 7

4 3

8 5

6 8

8 6

2 1

HARD

7 5

4 5

MEDIUM

MASSIVE MAG TOP 4 1 7 610

Sudoku - Hard

09/22/2021 09/22/2021

Printable Sudoku - Hard - 09/22/2021

Sudoku Sudoku - Easiest - Easy 5

Printable Sudoku Printable - Sudoku 22/09/2021, Sudoku for-kids Easy 13:27 - -09/22/2021 09/22/2021

SUDOKUS

Blushing Pickle Darling

He Ōrite 2 9 26 The Nudge vs Troy Kingi

24 4

418 59 9 2

This Kinda Day Mild 8 Orange First Time Teeks

5 9

5 10 7 2

That Life Unknown 7 Mortal Orchestra2

Dominos 3 Lorde

CROSSWORD Courtesy of Critic and Ciara White

ACROSS 2. Smartness (12) 7. Vanish (9) 9. Arrogant (4) 10. Pain (4) 12. Brooklyn 99 character (4) 15. Fly (4) 18. ‘Seafood’ in te reo Māori (8) 19. Story (4) 20. Small amount (1,3) 21. Infamous (9) 22. Crazy (4)

24. Clue (4) 25. etc. (2,6) 26. Simba’s uncle (4) 29. Lists food options (4) 30. Large amount (1,3) 33. Hobble (4) 34. Rascal (9) 35. Hell’s Kitchen chef (6,6)

DOWN 1. Comprehends (11) 3. Stadium in Tāmaki-makaurau: ___ Park (4) 4. Currency of Turkey (4) 5. Pointy-eared supernatural beings (5) 6. Country with the largest population (5) 8. Wakes up (7) 11. Comforted (8) 13. Rima tekau mā rua (5-3)

14. Answer to this week’s Wordwheel (7) 16. Sphere (3) 17. Name of a dish and a Pixar movie (11) 20. Embarrassed (7) 23. Gossip that gets spilled (3) 27. Capital city of Egypt (5) 28. Really fast (5) 31. Russian monarch (4) 32. Piece written in verse (4)

QUIZ QUIZ ANSWERS: 1. C) 2. D) 3. A) 4. B) 5. B) 6. D) 7. C) 8. C) 9. D) 10. D)

1. What’s the most common colour of toilet paper in France? A) White B) Gray C) Pink D) Yellow 2. Native to the Caribbean, what sort of animal is the mountain chicken? A) A chicken B) A goat C) A cow D) A frog 3. Who played Elizabeth Bennet in the 2005 movie “Pride and Prejudice”? A) Keira Knightley B) Anne Hathaway C) Kate Winslet D) Nicole Kidman

TE REO MĀORI CROSSWORD ANSWERS - Across: 2. Te Waipounamu 5. Maunga 6.

4. True or false: You can sneeze in your sleep A) True B) False 5. Which film does NOT star Arnold Schwarzenegger? A) Eraser B) Lethal Weapon C) True Lies D) The Running Man 6. When did Jonas Brothers make their comeback to the music world? A) 2015 B) 2011 C) 2017 D) 2019 7. What is the longest that an elephant has ever lived? (That we know of) A) 17 years

Toyota 9. USA 10. Rorohiko 12. Three 13. He tāngata 16. Tūī 19. Manawa 20. Eel 22. Aoraki 23. Waiata 24. Tekau

B) 49 years C) 86 years D) 142 years 8. In darts, what’s the most points you can score with a single throw? A) 20 B) 50 C) 60 D) 100 What is a pomelo? A) An old-fashioned punching bag B) A breed of dog C) A figure of speech D) The largest citrus fruit What is Scooby Doo’s full name? A) Scooby-Dooby-Doo B) Scooby Doo C) Scooby Dee Doo D) Scoobert Doo

mā whitu Down: 1. Tamariki 2. Tauira 3. Upoko 4. Motu

7. Asked 8. Goodnight 11. Honest 12. Tūtira 14. Pleasant 15. Pūtea 17. Oamaru 18. Rākau 21. Love

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