Massive Magazine Issue 03 2021 by Massive Magazine

MASSIVE

ISSUE 03

MARCH 08/2021

SNIP, SNOP, SNAP SEND US YOUR SNAPS TO GET FEATURED IN NEXT WEEK’S EDITION

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Table of Contents

06 News

10 Sustainable Partying

14 Plus Size Fast Fashion

18 Top 10 Vegan Snacks

22 Commuting to Uni

22 Students Facing Privacy Breaches

26 Talking to Your Parents About Climate Change

28 Artist Profile: George Turner

32 What Your Coffee Order Says About You

35 Columns

38 Puzzles

39 Horoscopes

Editor’s Letter

editor: Caroline Moratti sub editor: Jamie Mactaggart

An Ode to the Humble Apple Pipe

culture editor: Liv Redman

It was meant to be sustainability week at Wellington, but that got cancelled and the info was never passed on to Massive lol. So welcome to our sustainability issue anyway, because it’s still an important issue. To me, sustainability is all about making little choices for the greater good. So, I wanted to pass on my greatest sustainability tip: the apple pipe.

news editor: James Pocock staff writers: Cameron Taylor, Elena McIntyre-Reet, Rimu Bhooi, Liam McGuire designer: Micah Davis-Rae photographers: Callum Parsons @callumoparsons.nz Liam McGuire illustrator: Tallulah Farrar @tallulahfarrar contributors: Elizabeth Wake cover: George Turner contact: editor@massivemagazine.org.nz Facebook/massive.magazine Instagram/massivemagazine www.massivemagazine.org.nz read online: issu.com/massivemagazine

Got a letter to the Editor? Email editor@massivemagazine.org.nz to rant, flirt, complain, whatever x Massive is registered under the New Zealand Press Council which allows our reader to reach out to an independent forum for resolving complaints you may have. Massive is also a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association. The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages of Massive do not necessarily represent those of Massey University, its staff, ASA, MUSA, MAWSA, M@D or the Massive Editor. MAWSA is an independent organisation that publishes Massive. Send any queries or complaints directly to Massive at editor@ massivemagazine.org.nz. Massive is subject to the New Zealand Press Council. If a complainant is not satisfied with the response from W, the complaint may be referred to the Press Council: info@presscouncil.org. nz or online via presscouncil.org.nz.

Apple pipes are fun, exciting and strangely reminiscent of childhood despite the fact that you’re inhaling a recreational drug. Are they perfect? No! But what is! For those who are new to weed, or bored of their current ways, I humbly offer you the apple pipe as a gift to unravel, a secret garden to explore. Plus, they’re cheap, biodegradable and really nice to hold in your hands. When I was in my 2nd year, I made the bold decision to try weed. It was time. Through a friend of a friend’s friend, I paid $50 for about $10 worth, although at the time it seemed like the world. Then came the next snag: my flat had no utensils to smoke with: no pipe, no paper, not even a bible to make half-hearted joint. The concept of making a bong out of a Gatorade bottle seemed ill-advised and fucking terrifying. So, we turned to the only thing we did have, an apple. To make an apple pipe, you need a fresh apple; something sharp and solid so your Sistine chapel won’t collapse around you. May I suggest a Gala or a Granny Smith? Red Delicious, although both red and delicious, an apple pipe she is not. Now, you need something sharp. Anything will do. A pen, a corkscrew, a meat thermometer, just whatever the fuck you have, but probably not a knife lol. Once armed, start by removing the stem from the apple. Then, you want to push your sharp object into where the stem was, make sure to only go halfway down. Next, repeat this step halfway down the side of the apple, again stopping in the middle. If you’ve succeeded, your holes will meet up (lesbians, rejoice) and you’ll be left with an L-shaped passage. If you want to be fancy, make a hole on the other side of the apple as a carb, which is that thing that bongs have. Essentially, you block it with your finger when inhaling and release it when you want to clear the smoke. I do not understand the science behind it, but I intimately trust anything I read from Wikihow. They taught me how to make scrambled eggs which were both rich and creamy, so they can teach me how to blaze like someone who doesn’t overpay for marijuana. A common mistake of ye ol’ apple pipe is grinding your weed. Grinding it will make it stick to the succulent apple and get lost inside its deep, wet crevices. Instead, simply pack a wee nug at the top of the core and enjoy. Bon Appetit! If you want to eat it afterwards, go ahead. It will be disgusting but honestly, when you’re depressed, you’ll do anything. The wonders of 2nd year. Our flat carried on with this routine for a number of months. It was the best time of my life, aside the obvious clinical depression. We eventually stopped, although I don’t remember why. I wish we hadn’t. The truth is, long after your apple bong adventures, its sweet taste will linger. I will never forget the times my friends and I shared, hovering over a small fruit. Pipes and bongs may come and go, but apples are forever. x Caroline

Letters to the Editor Did you love or hate our latest issue? E-mail the editor to have your say: (be nice - she has an incredibly fragile ego) editor@massivemagazine.org.nz

Dear Editor, I am sick and tired of the bullshit - if I want to steal from Massey, I will do so FREELY! I loved the free shit on campus piece in your last issue, and as something of a kleptomaniac, I can confirm there are many more sneaky swipes you can commit on campus. I hope to see more content about all the shit we suss. We go into debt just to attend COMMS101 and frankly, I think it’s Massive’s job to help us “obtain” important things like food. LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!! ps, we saved so much money on tp this week, sharing one Uni roll between us all. Ta Massive x

I really hope I’m not offending anyone here, but what’s with people full on sleeping on the pyramid couch thingies? Maybe it’s just me but people who sleep in public put me on edge. In your defence, the couches do look pretty comfy for a wee nap but this ain’t a hotel hunn. I worry about what your flat is like if you’re resorting to getting your eight hours at uni. - A concerned sleep-phobe

Dear the Massive Editor, Your piece on the Golden Ratio was the content we so badly deserve. Thank you for covering the hard hitting topics that Stuff and the NZ Hearld are too scared to approach. I look forward to getting my mitts on a filthy Cleanskin goon this weekend that will no doubt taste all the sweeter knowing it’s cheapest piss you can get without resorting to nicking it off the supermarket shelves (I haven’t yet stopped to that level yet but god knows times are tough). From one happy gal xx Thanks for writing the bit on the cheapest booze for your buck. Next can you please cover where to suss the cheapest weed. I swear my dealer gives me the lightest fucking tinnies I’ve ever seen. Thanks in advance

Dear Editor,

- Grumpy Stoner

Sincerely,

I am writing to inform you that the accuracy of your horoscopes will haunt me for the rest of my life. My parents literally cancelled my Netflix subscription on Wednesday. Please tell your writer to go easy on me next week, I don’t think I could handle another bombshell like this. Sagitarrius

MASSIVE NEWS

Massey offers conflicting advice compared to the government over lockdown, confusion ensues Go to uni? Self-isolate? What’s going on??? JAMES POCOCK

NATIONAL NEWS

Students have been left confused by contradictory advice from Massey University and the New Zealand Government after Auckland’s Alert Level increased to 3 while the rest of the country went to Level 2. In a recent email sent to students, Massey University advised that you would need to continue to follow Alert Level 3 guidelines and remain at home if you were travelling back to your normal home from Auckland after the lockdown began.

However, on the Government’s Covid-19 website, it states that, “If you visited an Alert Level 3 area and have returned home, you should follow all of the relevant Alert Level requirements in your area… You only need to isolate if you have been to a location of interest.” These two pieces of advice appear to directly contradict one another, which has made one student who returned from Auckland to Wellington over the weekend unsure of what to do. They say that they had not been to any locations of interest or expressed any symptoms of Covid-19. Because of this, they thought they would be fine to return to their classes. However, when they saw the Massey email, they feared that they would be forced to stay home, missing important course content. “I felt like following current government guidance would suffice,” they said. After checking with their course coordinators, the student was cleared to return to their classes on Monday. Because of this, they are uncertain if all the staff and students are aware or clear on the all the specifics of Massey’s advice. NEWS

When approached for comment, a Massey spokesperson said that they stand by the emailed advice, which they say supports the recommendation of the Government and experts. They say, “While there is no official requirement for those who haven’t visited a location of interest to isolate once returning home from Auckland, notable experts and the Prime Minister have requested that people do this to help reduce the risk. On that basis, Massey University is acting with an abundance of caution and is requesting that staff and students who return home from Auckland stay home from campus for seven days… We strongly urge our university community to embrace the public health principles shared by the Prime Minister and experts which has included the concept of taking alert levels with you if you leave a region. For students who have visited a location of interest, they recommend 14 days of self-isolation post-exposure and to seek advice from the Ministry of Health. Anyone who feels ill after returning from Auckland should self-isolate at home and contact the Ministry of Health for advice. There is no requirement for others in your household to self-isolate unless you visited a location of interest, were in contact with a case, or become ill and are advised by the Ministry to selfisolate and be tested.

Massey welcomes new Diversity and Inclusion Advisor

🌈 ✨ ️🩸

CAROLINE MORATTI

NATIONAL NEWS

Connor McCleod, a 25-year-old takatāpui, has stepped into the brand new role of Massey’s Diversity and Inclusion Advisor. The role is based in Wellington but the advisor will be working across all Massey campuses to “take a look at the University as a whole with a rainbow lens. This means to be both strengthening and supporting what we already have at Massey, and looking at starting what we don’t,” Connor tells Massive. Student Success Advisor Debora Lee says that the queer staff and students at Massey are “delighted” by the appointment. “The role is focused on creating and maintaining an environment that is diverse, inclusive and welcoming for all people. The ASA Education Officer and I would like one of the projects Connor leads to include queer-inclusive curriculum and will be advocating for this.” Connor has previously worked with Q-Youth, InsideOUT, and Victoria and feels “Elated. Overwhelmed. Excited. Burdened,” to be starting his new role. Connor explains, “Us rainbow people are no one single group – we traverse time and space and you can find us in every community, every culture. And because of this, no single person has all the answers nor experience to make all the changes necessary to build a perfectly inclusive environment here at Massey. So, we have to talk. Collaborate. Learn, research, and make sure we’re getting supported and called in (or out) on the

areas we’re not quite hitting. At the same time, this is a way of working I’m extremely passionate about, and am super stoked to be here.” Connor’s first goal is to connect with people across the University and be available to “advise quite generally on issues that affect rainbow and takatāpui communities”. He also hopes to develop a list of key priority projects for the University alongside the community.

NZUSA calls for increased support for students Will NZUSA actually achieve this? Unclear. Is it a nice press release though? Definitely. JAMES POCOCK

NATIONAL NEWS

The New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) have asked the government to “step up for students” with further support during the changing Alert Levels and amid a time of high stress for many students in New Zealand’s tertiary institutions. National president of NZUSA, Andrew Lessells, says the “Government needs to step up for students to make sure they can access technology, to make sure they can pay their rent, to make sure they can afford to survive”. The list of things that NZUSA is demanding of the Government includes doubling funding for student mental health, more funding for tertiary institutions to teach remotely, and a reintroduction of the Student Hardship Fund for those who had lost jobs and experienced financial challenges because of Covid-19. “Last year’s $25 million for student mental health was a good start, but this yo-yoing proves that far more is needed. This is the most stressful time to be a student in generations and that’s why NZUSA is asking the Government to double funding for student mental health,” says Andrew. According to Andrew, it’s necessary for the Government to step in with increased funding because many universities and most polytechnics don’t have the resources to transition their courses to decent online delivery. He says NZUSA is working with their members and partners to ensure that students’ needs are met at this challenging time.

Covid-19 halts Albany O-Week plans... again Is this déjà vu?? Help me CAROLINE MORATTI

ALBANY NEWS

After the resurgence of Covid-19 delaying the initial O-Weeks of campuses, the second Auckland lockdown has caused the cancellation of Albany’s rescheduled O-Week. The Albany “AmigO Week” was a “vibrant Latin American NEWS

themed festival” complete with a “Chilli Chomping” competition, llamas and frozen margaritas. One student said they were “disappointed but understood” the need for cancellation. ASA President Ben Austin said that, due to Covid-19, “ASA is extremely sorry that it could not deliver on the rescheduled AmigO’s Week program”. Ben said that considerable time and effort was spent on rescheduling events and that students should “be assured, this year the ASA was, and continues to be, dedicated to organising events that rival previous O-Week celebrations.” Ben recommends students use the Advocacy Team to help with hardship applications and advice during this stressful period. “We are all in this together, and together we can overcome these troubling times.”

Albany Student’s Association pushes for free period products

🩸 ❤️

Current initiatives for the distribution and subsidising of sanitary products to students include the Wā Collective, which subsidises and provides free menstrual cups for students, and the Massey health and counselling services, which already provide free sanitary products that students can access on request without any appointment. Michaela says these are both a good start but recognises that menstrual cups may not be the product for everyone and getting sanitary products from the University health services may not always be convenient. “You go to the bathroom and you’re like ‘oh shit I have my period’ and you need a product in a rush. If you don’t have one, you’re probably not going to haul your ass up to health and counselling or you might not feel comfortable going in and having that conversation.” Michaela aims to distribute the four different types of free sanitary products at around ten different gender diverse bathrooms on the Albany campus to make it easier for anyone in need to access the products. She hopes to soon discuss further with OI and the presidents of the other Massey student associations about potentially expanding an initiative to the other campuses. “I would like to extend [the initiative] out to events and stuff on campus as well, like education or just any questions that people have, just like interesting panels and stuff like that.” Massey University Student’s Association (MUSA) president Fatima Imran says that the MUSA Executive is currently discussing strategies to implement a similar initiative but is yet to begin a plan, while Massey at Wellington Students’ Association (MAWSA) president Tessa Guest says MAWSA is currently in a similar situation to MUSA. Tessa says, “I know that other student associations like VUSWA do supply that out of their own budget as far as I am aware, but we’re much smaller and we have less resources, so that’s not a sustainable outcome for us, but we are really interested and excited to look into other ways to make this happen for students.”

JAMES POCOCK

ALBANY NEWS

Albany Student Association will soon distribute 100 free sanitary products boxes in bathrooms across the Albany campus, leading an initiative to fight student period poverty on Massey campuses. After ASA Vice President Michaela Fuller made enquires to make sanitary products more available to students, she was able to secure the sanitary products free of cost from a New Zealand company called Organic Initiative (OI). “I asked them if they would be willing to have some kind of sponsorship with Massey Albany, and they very kindly offered to give us some boxes of 100 different products, and a range of different products… At Albany’s students’ association, we don’t have huge funds to go out and purchase those products ourselves,” Michaela said. This follows a recent government announcement that free period products will be distributed to intermediate and high schools nationwide in June. Michaela was encouraged by the move but wanted to see more done for students in tertiary education. She told Massive, “What I am trying to initiate at Massey Albany is getting free period products in the bathrooms.”

First year Massey student Grace Gilinsky believes that she has seen machines that have tampons and pads available in bathrooms on the Wellington campus at a cost, but nothing that was free. Student Caleb MacDonald agrees that sanitary products appear to be less available for women. “They throw out condoms left, right and centre, but I haven’t seen any tampons or pads out.”

Block 5 construction work set to finish in 2022 Hope you enjoy construction noises for the next two years x JAMES POCOCK

WELLINGTON NEWS

The construction work on the windows of Block 5 and part of the library on the Wellington Massey campus is expected to be complete by 2022, but could take longer depending on conditions. According to a Massey spokesperson, the construction work includes window replacement and refurbishment. They told Massive, “The windows in Block NEWS

despite the campus having been in Alert Level 2 for three days. The incident was discovered at 9:01am on Tuesday 2 March, by a very charming and beautiful Massive Editor. Despite Massive informing the communications team that morning, by mid-afternoon the display was still up. However, at 5pm students reported the screen being changed back to a normal rotation of traffic information, with no Covid-19 information being reported on screen. 5 are ageing and no longer fit for purpose… The windows are being replaced with modern energy-efficient doubleglazed windows that will open and close.” Windows that open AND close? Oh now you’re just treating us, Massey! The Massey spokesperson says the work began in late November 2020 when the University was closed. The nondefinite time given for completion is due to the external and weather-dependent nature of most of the work. “Work needs to continue through the semester to ensure that it can be completed as quickly as possible to minimise the overall impact on students and staff.”

One student called the incident “dumb as fuck” whilst another said “honestly, I’m not even shocked. It’s Massey, what do you expect?” Massive reached out to Massey University for comment but the University failed to respond in time for print.

Tussock raises their prices End-times are near

A decant floor has been created so that the construction work can be approached on a floor-by-floor basis to minimise disruption when students returned for semester one. However, some students that study in the library or have classes in Block 5 say they have noticed the disturbance to their own learning since returning to study. First year student Ollie says that the nearby construction noticeably affects him. “Especially the drilling, and lots of banging noise… Could be quite disruptive, especially towards exams and stuff when you’re trying to focus.” Fourth year student Simone says that the noise bothers her when she doesn’t have her headphones in. “If I’m just sitting here and I’ve got no music to play then yeah I find it quite bothering because it’s quite loud.” “It’s kind of annoying that it’s so close to the library because, you know, it’s a quiet place to think and to study.”

University fucks up, displays Level 1 Covid-19 sign in Wellington. Hahah it’s not like Covid-19 information is important to get right or anything CAROLINE MORATTI

WELLINGTON NEWS

A flatscreen TV, prominently displayed in a main hub for students, displayed wrongful information about Covid-19 alert levels to passers-by. Students walking through the Pyramid building were treated to a digital display which read: “Alert Level 1 on Campus. Unite against Covid-19,”

CAROLINE MORATTI

WELLINGTON NEWS

Students are left disappointed after the popular Wellington campus café, Tussock, increased the cost of some of their items for 2021. Prices for coffee seem to have risen by 50c across the coffee range. If you squint closely at the sign, you can still see the chalk ghosts of the old prices, lingering. Students were generally disgruntled by the move, with one saying “$5.50?? I’d rather go into town and get a $4 coffee.” Another student recommended Koha Coffee, the coffee club that meets on Wednesdays, as a cheaper alternative. A Tussock spokesperson confirmed that the price of coffee had increased but “for the first time in about seven or eight years” and that the changes were made to reflect the increased supply costs and rise in minimum wage. They noted that the price of popular items, like sandwiches, remained the same. “We’re still a relatively cheap café by any means” they told Massive. A Massive insider, who is secretly passionate about Eggs Benedict, reported a price rise from $8 to $9 in that particular food item. Although upsetting, I think we can all be grateful that Tussock isn’t Abany’s Scholar Café, where a basic Eggs Benedict is a whopping $17.90. Sometimes Auckland scares me like that.

NEWS

Getting pissed and saving turtles How to be an environmentally sustainable piece of shit on the weekend By Liv Redman We’re into week three of the uni year, which means that the bender is well and truly underway. Considering the Earth is probably going to cark it sometime soon unless we get our shit together – Massive thought it’d be civil to shine some light on how to be an environmentally sustainable piece of shit on the weekend. Students get so much shit from society, it would be kinda fun if we were the ones to save the day - maybe student alcoholism could finally be seen in a respectable light. I’ll be the first to admit that the environment isn’t exactly the first thing that comes to mind when getting totaled off a $7 bottle of Cleanskin (then waking to the taste of cum and last night’s darts). Yes, I too am disappointed in myself. However - it seems I’m not the only one who has trouble with being eco-conscious when getting off my tits. As journalism student Bob, says, “It’s a bit fucking tough to save the environment when you can’t stand.” Bob has a solid point. However, we can’t even save the environment sober so maybe trying to save the environment when pissed could actually work better? A gal can only dream. DRINKS We shun those who aren’t using reusable water bottles but how can we act so high and mighty when we’re drinking disposable vessels? Okay, so the disposable vessels can be recycled but damn recycling is expensive, and I believe in better ways. What happened to punch bowls? Get some bottles of OJ, Sprite, Smirnoff, and some berries. This $50 concoction could knock out at least five people! Three recyclable bottles amongst five people are way better than a bunch of bottles and cans. Plus, that’s like $10 for a good night and that empty Smirnoff bottle will make for a bougie flower vase.

If you can’t be bothered with punch and you just want some cans, look no further than a box of Part Time Rangers. Each flavour has an animal assigned to it and for every can they sell, 10% of profits goes towards animal conservation. A box of 10 cans is between $25-$30 and they are about 6% alcohol, woooo! Recycle those cans, though. Scrumpy in a bottle is always better than buying small cans. You get a single nine standard beverage instead of several one standard cans that, let’s face it, always end up getting knicked at parties. If you tape Scrumpy to your hands, even better. Theft is a cause close to Massive’s tender heart. Another vessel-limiting idea could be to buy a crate instead of a bunch of bottles. It should take you a few nights to get through a whole crate and then once you’re done with it, take the crate back to the shop ya got it from and get a little bit of cash back. Turns out, saving money when drinking saves the environment too! Who would’ve thought? Finally, make sure you’re not throwing away any booze. Tipping old wine down the sink? Such a sad sight. As Design student AJ says, “I don’t waste any of the alcohol that I buy. Oh wait, that’s not true… I vomit it all back up at the end of the night.” Maybe have a night in and tally how many cans you need to have for a good night. Perhaps keep drinking till you find your vomiting point and keep that in mind for your next night out. Not only could this potentially save your liver, but also your bank account. More importantly, remember, eating is NOT cheating. HYGIENE: We’re all guilty of showering before a party, trying to look out best. Don’t bother. You’ll just end up sweaty at the end of the night, either from dancing, drinking or, well, fucking. FEATURES

FEATURES

If you’re gonna shower, use cold showers, people. A hose in the back garden does the trick for washing down a bunch of people at once. Fashion student El’s sustainability trick is “piss out your alcohol on as many bushes as possible”. She’s been caught more than once peeing on the plants at the Welly Botanical Gardens. Someone get this girl a Nobel Peace Prize. If you’re going to a party that has a pool, don’t piss in it. Otherwise, some poor fuck will have to drain the pool and fork the bill. What a waste! Dolphins will die because of that, not to mention, the water turning purple from your piss (totally not a rumor). This goes for shitting in a pool or body of water too. Don’t do that. Shit on each other during sex, it’s way more sustainable. BEER PONG You’re at uni, you’ve probably been playing beer pong for a while now, which means you’re ready for a new level. Introducing menstrual-cup pong! Any liquid is a shot if you’re brave enough. Get ya gal pals over and balance those menstrual cups on a table and fill them up with spirits! You’ll need to drill some holes in the table for the toggles to stand in but hey, this limits those plastic red cups from eventually ending up in the recycling bin. Again, if you use a bottle of spirits, you save some coin and end up with a bougie flower vase. If that’s too much for you, what about reusable bamboo cups that don’t quite die as quickly as those plastic red bastards? If you invest in a bunch of them, they’ll last you longer than your degree – maybe your kids could one day drink out of them too <3 We need to stop buying red disposable cups just because that one episode of Glee made it cool. If you succumbed to the red solo cup phase, just wash ‘em out and reuse them. Or honestly, just use the mugs and glasses you already have. Let’s face it, your friend Kyle isn’t good at beer pong, he’s not gonna get a shot in anyway, so there’s no need to worry about breakages. DURRYS AND CONES You’re in Wellington, it’s 2021, you’re a broke student, buy a fucking vape instead of that dirty pack of Choice Reds. Abandoned cigarette butts are just not a hot look. Don’t ask Massive about the wastage of hard plastic from vape pods. We’re trying not to think about it. If your lungs aren’t quite ready to take on a sugary nicotine, get your last jam jar and turn it into your mobile ashtray and durry bin. You’ll be noticed and notable for being the cute person that brings a mobile durry bin.

Really, at this stage, weed is the most sustainable option. No wonder it’s beloved by hippies around the world. All you need is a bong or a pipe, there’s no need to constantly buy papers or pods. Even better, make a bong out of a plastic bottle, it’s recycling baby! If you want to be extra nifty, make sure to check out Massive’s editorial for how to make a mean apple pipe. It counts as one of your 5+ a day. FOOD If you’re providing food, buy it in bulk. Go to a Bin Inn store for cheap cooking supplies and make a bunch of homemade bread and cakes with dips. If you can’t be fucked with that, make everyone bring their own food and change your BYO Facebook event title to TYORHADOIC – Take your own rubbish home and dispose of it correctly. Again, saving coin because you don’t have to fill your expensive rubbish bags. Also saving your recycling bins for more space for you AND saving the environment because you’ve made everyone responsible for their own rubbish. If you do feel an itching for some greasy chips, support your local chippie rather than Macca’s. They tend to wrap chips in newspaper sheets rather than cardboard, plus shopping local is always nice. SEX There’s nothing worse than seeing a turtle with a used condom stuck up its nose. This year, why not try something new? Wish.com has reusable condoms, so if you trust that their beautiful lingerie is made of materials that won’t give you a yeast infection, perhaps you’ll be brave enough to try one of these? I would suggest the pull-out method, but I am living proof that it’s highly ineffective so don’t do that. Dry-humping is also another highly underrated art form. Ah, I miss high school. Actually, I take this all back, let’s not fuck with potentially unwanted STDs and pregnancy. Use a condom, please. Everyone knows that children are pretty much the biggest nightmare to sustainability. CLEANING No need to keep buying cleaning products from the supermarket. Rather, mix one part water to one part vinegar, this cleans everything. Disinfect your whole house with this after your bash. Use washable cloths, maybe bin (or burn) them if you’ve had to wipe diarrhea off your toilet walls. Make sure to recycle! If you lack the amenities for this, consider lugging your rubbish to uni (lol) or a proper recycling spot. Hopefully you’ll be down a few bottles and wrappers thanks to our handy tips and tricks. Better living everybawdy. FEATURES

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THE PLUS PROBLEM THRIFTIN By Cameron Taylor

Claudia is a 21-year-old plus-size student who loves fashion, and finds great joy in expressing herself through clothing. Claudia, like many other plus-sized students, often feels that fast-fashion is the only option left, saying “it tends to be a lot cheaper and much more accessible for me, particularly when women my age are expected to keep up with trends that change from week to week”. In a modern society, we’re encouraged more than ever to reduce our carbon footprint. This includes pulling away from consuming fast-fashion and making a conscious effort to shop sustainably. The fashion industry is the second largest polluter in the world, just behind the oil industry. It’s impact on our environment is catastrophic: water pollution, greenhouse gas emissions, waste accumulation and rainforest destruction are just some of the crises that are exacerbated by our obsession with clothes. This tends to promote guilt and

shame around shopping fast-fashion, understandably. After having a kōrero with several plus-sized students, it was clear that defining factors of continuing to shop fast-fashion were accessibility, price, and keeping up with the trends.

1. ACCESSIBILITY:

Fast-fashion is incredibly convenient. It’s accessible online at our fingertips and is generally easy to order. While people present op-shopping as a more environmentally and ethically friendly alternative, this just isn’t always possible for plussize people to engage in. Most of the time when there is a limited stock of plus-size options available, they tend to be snatched up by smaller people looking for an ‘oversized fit’, even though there’s so many other options available to them in store. Op shops are also becoming heavily gentrified, particularly in Welly’s CBD, which further limits the options. FEATURES

S-SIZE M WITH NG FEATURES

“Most of the time when there’s a limited stock of plus-size options available, they tend to be snatched up by smaller people looking for an ‘oversized fit’, even though there’s so many other options available to them in store.” Claudia says, “There’s nothing I’d like to do more than go thrifting for my whole wardrobe, but that isn’t sustainable or even possible for plus-sized people.” For plus-size people, it’s extremely rare to walk into a physical store and find our size in anything. There is NOTHING more we’d love than to walk into any store and know our size will be stocked. But sadly, this just isn’t the case. While many brands are striving to become more sustainable, they typically aren’t very size-inclusive and don’t cater to us. It’s much easier to find accessible clothes through bigger corporations, due to them having more money to produce an abundance of

affordable, trendy clothes in our size. As one student, Nancy, notes, “Many clothing stores are becoming environmentally friendly, however, most of them are not size inclusive. So where else are we going to shop?” Unlike straight-sized people, we can’t just wander into any shop off the street and purchase something instantly. The majority of us rely on online shopping for our clothes, as these fast-fashion brands provide a bigger range of sizes to fit us. We often don’t get the chance to try on our clothes before purchasing either, we just have to trust that the size we’ve picked is going to be the right one.

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student budget? This is very unlikely. And again, there’s the risk of having to shop these slow-fashion brands online and not physically. Purchasing fast-fashion items and not having them fit isn’t terrible, as the prices are usually quite cheap and it doesn’t feel like you’ve wasted a lot of money. But, if we were to shop from a slow fashion brand and splurge on an item for it not to fit us, it can be incredibly frustrating. As Claudia summarises, “When you can’t just pop into any store, it changes your perspective on how you spend your money.”

3. TRENDS/STYLES: A majority of slow fashion plus-size brands assume that if you’re plus-size, this means you want to hide your body. They think we all “want to cover up, hide our stomach rolls, etc, and make baggy clothes with no shape, when that’s not the case for many of us,” Fenella laments. This is an incredibly damaging stereotype that perpetuates fatphobic ideas that plus-size bodies should be hidden. Some of us are very comfortable showing skin, which is hard to do when there’s a lack of clothing in our size that allows us to do this. One student, Katherine, notes: “We are told that we should look and dress a certain way in order to ‘fit in’ by depicting these ideals that are communicated to us. This is something that needs to change.”

2. PRICE: Clothes shopping as a student, at any size, puts a dent in our very bare bank accounts. For plus-size students, this is one of the leading factors as to why we shop fast fashion. While there are a couple sustainable brands here in New Zealand that cater to a large range of sizes (Friday Flamingo, Ruby & Rain, etc), their prices are not affordable for students. As a slow-fashion brand, it’s obvious as to why their prices are steep, but it does make it harder for plus-size students to shop sustainably. Therefore, we turn to fast fashion. Shein, Boohoo, Pretty Little Thing, Missguided: it’s all accessible AND in the typical price range for students. Student Fenella says that price is the biggest barrier for her: “There’s a couple NZ brands like Friday Flamingo and they have some cute stuff, but the prices are so so high. Their prices are totally understandable but it really isn’t affordable, especially for students. I can’t think of any other things that would hold me back!” So yes, there is a small selection of slow-fashion brands we could choose to shop with that would fit us. But on a

Again, this is where fast-fashion comes to our rescue. A large range of styles are provided that allows us to keep up with the latest trends, which is often a pressure that society feels everyone must live up to. Fast-fashion gives us the cute trends that many plus-size slow fashion brands don’t want to provide, because they want us to ‘hide’ or ‘flatter’ our bodies. “Not all of us want to shop City Chic or Torrid, and most plus-size ranges are boring and plain,” Fenella says. A lot of the plus-size brands provided to us are not in the best interests of young people. Take K&K for example – their clothing is primarily designed with adult women in mind. For teenagers and young adults who want something to go clubbing in, we have to take our search to the internet. Overall, plus-size students know the costs of our consumerism. As Nancy says, “I mean, we get the cute fits, but I do feel guilty for contributing to an industry that is one of the world’s biggest polluters.” But, fast-fashion truly does feel like the only option for the majority of us due to these three reasons. Before you lecture a plus-size person on how they’re a terrible person for shopping from Shein, please take the time to educate yourself and become aware on how the fashion industry doesn’t cater to us, especially slow-fashion brands. I hope to see a world in which sustainable fashion becomes more accessible and affordable for plus-size bodies, and doesn’t make us feel that the only clothes we should wear are ones that completely hide our body. But, until then, this is our reality.

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Top 10 Vegan Snacks Under $5 By Elizabeth Wake

Picture this: a hot vegan has invited you round to their place One time I ate so many they made me sick. No regrets. for some Netflix and chill. You’re trembling. You don’t want to 2. NZ Kettle Korn fuck this up... not after last time. No, this time you’re prepared. $3.49 from Countdown Eating vegan, and catering for the hot vegans in your life, can be easy. Massive compiled a list of delicious, cheap snacks Kettle Korn was a recently discovered addiction of mine, for your next “movie night” or study binge. Eat your heart out, much to the displeasure of my bank account. I was attracted readers. to the salty taste and the comfort that I was doing a service to my body by not buying those Very Unhealthy Chippies 1. Sour Patch Kids that I would snack on during my next Netflix binge. $3.29 from Countdown Disclaimer: They are still unhealthy. If you don’t know what these are, get out. Seriously. “Sour. 3. Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars Sweet. Gone.” Even the slogan doesn’t do them justice. Nearly everyone has experienced the unexpected sour kick $4.50 from Countdown when they pop one into their mouth for the first time. They aren’t for everyone but are still a well-loved candy around the Due to the fact that this list is mostly made up of junk food, world. It might come as a surprise that they appear on this I attempted to find something a little healthier for those that list, but they are indeed vegan! I discovered them through my look after their bodies. As I don’t usually eat Granola Bars, I older sister, who often had them stashed away in her room bought myself a pack to try so I could give an honest review. To my immense surprise, I loved them! They’re the perfect for when we had to go to bed. CULTURE

vegan snack for the times you are rushing between classes caramel) is vegan! But isn’t milk an ingredient? Nope! As long with no time to eat. as it’s dark chocolate, over 50%, and not one of the caramel flavours, you’re good to go. Just don’t go and eat an entire It also came as a surprise that just because something is block in one sitting, okay? Bad idea. It just feels so good in good for you, doesn’t mean it will taste like shit. Take notes. the moment. 4. BBQ Shapes 8. Essentials Dark Chocolate Button $3.30 from Countdown $2.50 from Countdown You know the vibes. Sitting on your bed binging the latest Speaking of chocolate, we have the perfect snack for the Netflix series while demolishing a box of Shapes crackers. hungry student wistfully looking through their half-empty Well, that’s my experience anyway. Once again, we have pantry. Are these healthy? No. Are they meant as a midnight a pretty well-known snack coming out as vegan. Just be snack? Probably not. Am I heading off to buy them on my wary before grabbing all your fave flavours after reading this next supermarket run? Hell yes. as, Barbecue seems to be the only vegan one at this point in time (at least out of the original flavours… we don’t speak Realistically, they’re meant for baking, but what’s stopping of the rest). Considering that barbecue tends to be a flavour you from sneaking a few during your next movie marathon associated with meat, it’s kinda weird, but it’s not our place to with the flatties? Absolutely nothing. As an added bonus, question, only to enjoy. someone might be motivated enough to use them to bake cookies, thus giving you more food. Genius? I think yes. So now you know. BBQ Shapes. The perfect birthday present for your friend whose favourite things in the world 9. Mother Earth Soy Mix are food and plants… which basically describes every $3.30 from Countdown university student. Here it is, the ideal healthy snack for those days you so 5. Farmbake Peanut Brownie Cookies badly want to be productive but can’t quite manage to get $4 from Countdown further than a trip to the kitchen. This is definitely one of my favourites. It’s tasty, light and surprisingly not bad for your I wanted to put these cookies on the list because I know body. If you ever see one of these packets sitting all alone on there are a fair amount of students (myself included) who a supermarket shelf, be sure to give it a try! aren’t particularly big fans of peanuts. I went on a quest to the supermarket and bought a bag of them to share around my Not only do Mother Earth snacks have no added MSG flat and the others just down the hall. The responses were and no artificial colours, flavours or preservatives, but they varied, with most being super positive. It was only those like are also a source of fibre (yay!). Although, honestly, MSG is me (sorry to all the peanut lovers out there) who just ate the fucking delicious and I wouldn’t be mad if they had some. We one and politely refused another. I’m sure the rest of the bag, need to stop the MSG hate, guys. however, will disappear over the next couple of days. 10. Smarties Even though they weren’t my favourite, I still really enjoyed Last, but certainly not least, are Smarties! No, not those ones, them! It’s definitely a great late-night snack for anyone up the other ones. late watching an episode or completing their assignments 10 minutes before they’re due, which I definitely have not Remember those candy necklaces we used to find at dairies done before. when we were little? Turns out they’re vegan! They also have the same name as the chocolate Smarties manufactured 6. Peckish Thins by Nestlé that are sold in supermarkets (which are sadly $2.19 from Countdown not vegan). The Smarties I am referring to, which are sold by the Smarties Candy Company, are apparently marketed as I’m sure we’ve all found a pack of these hiding in the back Rockets in Canada to avoid confusion. It seems we didn’t get of the pantry for the rare times our parents had someone the heads up about that one. visiting who felt like eating cheese and crackers. Maybe they were there for those times you desperately hunted These candies were a huge part of all our childhoods. We for something, anything, to satisfy your hunger. Whatever saw them at Christmas parades where they were thrown the reason, they are a snack that could easily be found in into the crowd, and hidden away in gifts bags at classmate’s most homes or flats. Even better, they’re vegan! Be sure to birthday parties. It only seems fitting that they’re included on tell everyone within shouting distance, as they will definitely this list. want to know. When I started writing this article, I didn’t realise how many Fun fact: Each serving is under 90 calories (20g) and they’re things I eat and drink each day are actually vegan. I hope the also gluten-free! I don’t know why I sound like a sponsored things I discovered help you as much as they did me! Being ad right now, but you know what, I don’t care. sustainable is easy, and also delicious. 7. Whittaker’s Dark Chocolate (over 50%) $4.20 from Countdown This one is for all the chocolate lovers out there. All types of Whittaker’s dark chocolate over 50% cocoa (except CULTURE

MASSIVE

Commuting to uni? Good luck with that The people in power aren’t making an effort to fund and improve public transport. Our planet, and wallets, are hurting. By Rimu Bhooi

here’s a certain hypocrisy in government and council agencies pushing environmental responsibility onto the individual. Without taking their own measures for regulation, infrastructure, and accessibility, this Labour-led Government seems to want us all to be better. Transport wise, Pōneke Wellington and Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland have been in shambles for decades. Instead of investing in the transport that would be long lasting sustainable infrastructure, we’ve seen Labour and National Governments do the bare minimum. They’ve mostly focused on highways. Sick. We need roads, but if all the funding is going into gas guzzling car transport, funding gets cut for more sustainable options. Last week the Government released some pretty extraordinary numbers. The NZ Transport Agency will overspend approximately $500,000,000 more on state highways than the Government said they could. The Ministry for Transport didn’t really seem to mind, but that’s a problem. It will likely mean that much less money is available for rapid transit, road safety, walking and cycling improvements. Massive did a quick FB poll of current Massey students. It wasn’t difficult to see why so many of choose to own our own cars, but what campus you go to makes all the difference. Petrol is somewhat cheaper than a weekly 5x commute on a bus in Wellington. Auckland students, I’m sorry your regional petrol tax is biting you in the arse, but at least your bus fares are a far lot cheaper than the sad artsy kids down here in Wellington. Oh, and you get free parking! I’m afraid the College of Creative Art (CoCA) students who’re paying a dollar an hour might go on strike once this piece goes to publish. Carpooling is one way that students are saving their prized dollars. Most Massive staff said they used a car to travel

around their cities. Pitching in for gas money, without being the one responsible for the insurance, rego and WOF bills definitely makes transport easier. Most Wellington-based students said they usually walked to and from their campus, but walking distance is limited to Central City. For everywhere else, you need some form of transport. In Te Papaioea Palmerston North, buses are free for you lucky shits. Your campus is huge though, so I guess that makes up for it. If the Albany campus shuttle is gonna make you late, you’re left with one option – to leg it to your next class before the Auckland weather switches up on you yet again. Weather has an impact; no one likes turning up to tutorials soaked from the walk; that Welly wind stops for no one. E-scooters or buses are (sometimes) a more comfortable option, but then you have to accommodate for time, distance from bus stops/ where a fresher last left a scooter, and cost. Personally, I’ve found that an Uber costs about as much as Jump scooter (per km). So why wouldn’t you just get someone else to drive you around? Protected from the weather but not the stench of chunny sunk into the seats; overall it’s a solid way to get to where you need to go. Plus, buses just aren’t available at the times most of us are starting and finishing work. Hospo shifts, in particular, run odd hours of the morning and night, so personal safety is definitively a deciding factor. There just aren’t that many safe and affordable ways to travel in major cities. Another thing that came up was that creative students in particular need access to their own vehicle. Massive spoke to one recent graduate of CoCA who has been looking for work, who said “in the gig economy, having a car and a license is basically a necessity”. They noted the need for space was a big one, “buses don’t let you carry big stuff”. Equipment for FEATURES

videography, photography, the visual arts, and even music creation is hefty. I don’t have a lot of the answers, but I did some research and the Green Party probably had the most progressive plan this last election. Their Future for Transport policy would’ve made public transport a breeze. For all public transport, the Greens proposed half price for students and only for their first eight trips in a week. The rest would be free. Fuck me, that’s a bargain better than any meal deal for butter chicken after a night out. They also came up with one card for all public transport, and you’d get access to electric car share, e-bike subscriptions and e-scooters in all the main cities. Soz Palmy.

Where does that leave Aotearoa for actually making good on all our climate action promises? Weren’t we supposed to do a whole lot more to prevent climate change? Julie Anne Genter had some pretty bold transport plans as the Associate Minister for Transport in the last Government. Unfortunately, a lot of ‘em were curbed. The Greens did have a couple of wins in the pre-Covid times though, including largest ever investment in sustainable transport, with $4.2 billion to be invested across public transport, metro rail, and walking and cycling. The budget for this government seemed to cut down this investment drastically, with only a “$1.1 billion capital invested in improving transport across New Zealand, including replacing ageing ferries and locomotives”.

“Need to drive? Here’s exorbitant fuel costs and absolute gridlock traffic! Can’t drive? Here’s a bus that will always make you late for class.” These proposals would have gone a long way by making it easier and cheaper for people, and especially poor as shit students, to make the more sustainable choice. Sadly, for us all, Labour didn’t need the Greens to form a government so we lucked out on these changes. As the Greens’ spokesperson for Transport, Julie Anne Genter made it clear how much of a difference there is between the way Greens’ do things vs Labour. In a tweet, she noted: “Just the additional spending on motorway blowouts over three years is more than twice the entire budget for walking and cycling. It’s so unbalanced. The number of cars on these particular stretches of road is a tiny percentage of daily traffic.”

Councils and the Government aren’t funding or providing the infrastructure for us to undertake a sustainable course of action. The slow and inaccessible public buses, the expensive trains, the physical safety risk for pedestrians and cyclists, it all makes it pretty fucking difficult to not want a car. The people in power have pushed the responsibility onto the public instead. Need to drive? Here’s exorbitant fuel costs and absolute gridlock traffic! Can’t drive? Here’s a bus that will always make you late for class. Live outside of the CBD? Here’s a train that will cost a pretty penny. Wanna save money? Tough luck pal. At least we have more than enough bike racks, right guys? Thanks Massey.

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Students are facing privacy breaches, despite it being fucking illegal TLDR: landlords still suck

idden away in the fine print of tenancy applications is often an illegal request: the consent to ‘share your (and any co-applicant’s) information with third parties’ to complete tenancy checks and credit reports. This essentially forces tenants to sign away their rights to privacy, and authorise illegal and intrusive information collection. So often, giving this consent is a required part of the application process, meaning you cannot submit your application without it. According to the Privacy Commission, asking for broad consent to collect unspecific information from “other sources” is an illegal breach of privacy. However, completing a credit report once a preferred tenant has been selected is legal. To rephrase, this means that collecting information on your credit strength is legal, but only if you have passed the application stage and been selected as a “preferred tenant”. On the other hand, it’s illegal for a landlord not to clarify what type of information they’re collecting and where they’re getting this information from. Technically, a broad consent for information collection would let them get access to your browser history if they had access to it, and we all know that wouldn’t help anyone get a home. Especially students... ya weirdos. Many of those applying for tenancies in 2021, especially in competitive cities such as Wellington or Auckland, know that privacy laws do not stop this information from being collected. Between previous rent, employment history, citizenship, and many other breaches, it seems tenancy applications often collect intrusive information. Sam*, a young student, has been flat hunting continuously over the last few months. They think that the privacy laws are “a fucking joke”. Both unregulated and unenforced, they have had to give away so much of their personal (and protected) information in the hunt for a home. Sam brought up one of the requirements for their last tenancy, stating “I have been required to obtain contents insurance. It was a caveat to the contract… all of my flatmates purchased FEATURES

contents insurance.” For something that is illegal for landlords even collecting information on, requiring insurance, and proof of, in the contract itself puts up red flags pretty fast.

to affect whether you get offered a home. If the option is between sharing intrusive information and homelessness, what option do renters have but to comply?

When asked about their privacy rights, Sam stated, “No one has ever explained them to me, and I have never sought them out because the (renting) process is shitty as is… I looked up Tenancy Services, but privacy was not one of the main things I saw in my research. It seemed to be pretty far down the list.” They go on to say that “for almost every tenancy application I have submitted… I have been asked to disclose my spouse/marital status. I have submitted my passport as proof of ID, and that has both my gender and citizenship status on it.” There seems to be little genuine regulation on information collected in the housing market; especially for those who don’t know their rights or the correct avenues to report privacy violations. As Sam summarises, “[It’s] a fucking joke. That means that the tenancy process is not being monitored at all in terms of legality.”

Regardless of legality, most tenants simply don’t know their rights well enough to be aware that these qualify as breaches of privacy. So, it’s time to scrub up on your knowledge. Massive has collected some examples of details that landlords and property managers are legally not allowed to collect according to the Privacy Commission. These include:

Another renter, Bee* said that application sites and landlords should be mandated to provide “a statement or something or

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Marital and family status.

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Gender and Sexual orientation.

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Proof of Insurance.

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Nationality… or Citizenship.

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Physical or mental disability.

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Rent Paid previously

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Employment History

“If the option is between sharing intrusive information and homelessness, what option do renters have but to comply?” some information alongside the application, saying: ‘These are your rights and this is what we’re taking information for’.” Bee said she didn’t know her privacy rights, and that “I just assumed that they are following whatever guidelines there are and that any information that they ask for is necessary.” Bee also confirmed that in her last tenancy application she’s had to provide information which cannot legally be collected until after a preferred tenant has been selected. She was required to give an alternate contact person, vehicle information, consent for a credit report, and criminal record in the initial application process. She stated that so often “any information on privacy that they (landlords and property managers) give you is at the very very end of the application in a little box and it’s like, well now I have to keep going.” There haven’t been ways to know more details about information collection, or its use. Having it clearly articulated alongside the rights that you as a tenant hold in the application process would be “very helpful”. In a final comment, Bee moaned: “who the fuck do I complain to? Now I’m just pissed. I’m fucking blown away. Every online application website requires all of the details that you just said to me.” According to the Privacy Commission, privacy breaches should first be taken up with the organisation or individual who has caused the violation. For renters, this means that many may not even approach a landlord, for fear of retaliation. Currently, a complaint in the application process is likely

There are also many aspects of privacy that are only legal to collect once a preferred tenant or applicant has been chosen to pursue. Some of these include: •

Credit report.

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Date of Birth.

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Contact details of an emergency contact person.

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Proof of income.

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Criminal record.

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Vehicle information (only if necessary, to provide for parking on the property).

Between a dwindling housing supply and tenancy laws coming into effect, competition for housing and an increased cautiousness by landlords has pushed many tenants to desperation. Whether from a lack of legal knowledge or fear of homelessness, many young people consent to this illegal collection of information without knowing their rights. If you’re providing the above info on a flat application, make sure to question your property manager, or drop a line to Massive. Know your stuff, know your rights. *Names have been changed to protect identity.

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How to talk to your family about climate change By Elena McIntyre-Reet

ot everyone is blessed with die-hard liberal parents. I have friends whose parents genuinely don’t understand how people end up homeless, like just get a house? It’s not that hard. Depending on which category your family falls into, issues of sustainability and climate change are likely to incite discussion among your older, more conservative relatives. When issues of the political variety come up, it’s hard not to bite back at Aunty Sharon when she calls Greta Thunberg annoying, or agrees with Judith Collin’s belief that participating in meat-free Mondays is, in fact, communism. Talking to your relatives about these issues without driving yourself insane is a difficult task but definitely a worthy fight. If we’re going to get out of this shitshow of an environment the human race has got ourselves into, it’s going to be an all hands-on deck situation. For the purpose of this guide, I will use ‘Sharon’ as our case study. If your name is Sharon, I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re a climate warrior at heart. 1. MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT. When Sharon brags that she always uses her keep cup when she orders her trim flat white, tell her how great that is! Let her know that by doing that she’s keeping at least 365 single use takeaway cups out of our landfills. Let her know that her contributions matter. Build her up before you go in with the heavy radicalisation tactics. For now, though, avoid bringing up the harmful effects of the dairy industry on the environment, baby steps guys. Ask her if she’s encouraged her friends to make the keep cup switch, then she’ll feel like an environmentalist trend-setter at the office. 2. FIND COMMON GROUND. It’s hard to relate to someone who is 30 years your senior and still shares minion memes on Facebook. Finding

common ground - especially when it comes to hard-hitting topics like climate change - is no easy feat. Perhaps try and rope Sharon in by talking about David Attenborough’s new Planet Earth series. Once she’s raving about the cuteness of sea turtles and the soothing nature of Sir Attenborough’s voice, go in with the big guns. Tell her how tragic it will be when he dies, because a bright light of climate change will fizzle out. Everyone loves David Attenborough, regardless of age. 3. INTRODUCE THEM TO NEW IDEAS SLOWLY. Don’t go straight in with ideas like green-washing marketing or consumer guilt tactics. Instead, bring up the things you’ve done. Tell her about the re-fillery near her house, or where the closest community compost is. 4. DON’T EXHAUST YOURSELF TRYING TO CHANGE THEIR MIND. Some people will never understand the magnitude of the climate crisis. If you’re going around in circles trying to change your Sharon’s mind and nothing is working, there’s no shame in moving onto something else. Take solace in the fact that the very generations that put us in this mess, will soon not be here to answer for their mistakes. Instead of pulling your hair out trying to recruit Aunty Sharon into your sustainability group, make small, passive aggressive changes to get your point across. Wrap all of her Christmas presents in fabric scraps, buy her a mesh produce bag. Be as preachy as you can without having to actually talk to her. 5. KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT. As rough as it is to feel like your efforts are being counteracted by people like Sharon, don’t stop fighting for climate justice in your own life just because old people kind of suck.

CULTURE

George Turner Interviewed and photographed by Liam McGuire

Massive Magazine met with George Turner, a recent Fine Arts graduate from Massey University. A creator in many forms, George explores art from animation to music, digital and more. In a quiet café in Aro Valley, they spoke about their life, art, and dedication to climate action.

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Who are you? Kia ora, I’m George Turner. I’m an artist based in Te Whanganui-a-Tara. What do you do? A mix of artistic practices. Predominantly centred around data driven digital work but I also create music and film. How do you decide which medium is best to express any given concept? It is different every time. At some points my work is guided by a curator brief, so I work to fill those needs, and at other times it is through my own

research. I spend the majority of my working hours focused on gathering data, interviewing different individuals or groups, and exploring the spaces which I create the final product about. Usually, it becomes clear which medium I want the final work to be throughout the research and development phase. Very rarely do I have a final concept in mind from the start. Using predominantly digital mediums definitely allows me this freedom to spend more time of development rather than the final creation Do you find your music inspires your visual art or vice versa? It’s all very much connected, it’s just the same entity. Music is just another part of my practice, and I suppose working in visual art as well makes me more critical of composition, lyrics, etc. But

more or less, it’s just the same work, there wouldn’t be one without the other. They’re just completely intertwined. Why do you find yourself drawn to such different artistic mediums? (music, 3D, static art) It comes down to me wanting to represent the data, information and voices I gather the best I can. And I feel like using something like painting where the artist’s hand is very clear, personally I would be more prone to misrepresenting these concepts which are central to my practice. If I just take data directly and put it into a digital artwork or an

animation of some kind, although the artist’s hand is still very present, it feels at least like I’m representing whatever the concept is more. So, I choose these different mediums because they allow me to delve into research more. Do you go into your work with an audience in mind? Again, each work is very different, I suppose the majority of my work would only sit well in an Aotearoa New Zealand context and therefore that is my audience. As I traverse a colonial-settler narrative focused here, it would probably feel out of place elsewhere. But then the more overriding themes of climate change and mass extinction in my work are certainly not created with a specific audience in mind. CULTURE

What are some standout topics that you try to tackle in your art? Every exhibition varies, but overall, I’m overwhelmed like most of us by climate change and mass extinction, so I always try to work around this complex topic. Whether it’s something very specific, such as something based in Te Whanganui-a-Tara, like the imperialist origins of capitalism via the New Zealand Company, or something more widespread like climatology across the South Pacific. It’s almost always something influenced by climate change because there’s no greater topic for me right now. What does sustainability mean to you? A lot of things. It’s a weird word that often gets misused and blurred and has become a sales point for green capitalism. But also, to me, I suppose mitigation, adaption, and saving what there is left. It’s a strange word. It encompasses a lot. I want to view it as a goal, but actually, it falls short at this stage as sustainable living and creating a green

version of this current system won’t help us. While sustainability is important, these problems are so much greater and the answer cannot be just becoming sustainable. What’s your favourite example of sustainability in your life (whether that’s a community initiative, public infrastructure or personal practice)? Various things, but perhaps most important to me is that two years ago, I helped coordinate the Massey contingent of the climate strikes, and that was really important to me. Although last year because of Covid-19, I wasn’t able to be a part of the organisation of protests, this year I hope to continue that element of my practice and ideally go further than I have before. How do we find your work? Currently, my website is being updated, but georgeturner.org or Instagram (@georgeturner___). Unfortunately, there is no work that is publicly viewable right now, but I will have an exhibition in Auckland around November, and earlier on in Wellington in October, and hopefully a couple more throughout the year. As for my music, it is available via any streaming service just under my name. What’s the best way to support you as an artist? Lots of ways. But probably for me, for my mental health and everything, would be to do your best to learn what you can do to mitigate your impact on the world. Who else should we check out? Hmmm, maybe Xi Li who I have exhibited with via freeofcharge.space last year, their work is hugely influential for me. Also, Nickolas Shackleton, Louis Zalk-Neale, Dayle Palfreyman, Jack Rossie, Tobias Allen. This list could go on and on but I suppose I should just recommend going to as many exhibitions as possible. There is such a wide range of artists practicing in this country that no matter what your interests are I am sure there is someone out there with similar thoughts. CULTURE

What your Coffee Order Says About You By Elena McIntyre-Reet

HOT CHOCOLATE:

You tried coffee once and found it too *spicy*, so you order this to feel included on coffee runs. You’re probably a little sensitive, and cry watching David Attenborough. If you ask for specific-coloured marshmallows, trust me the barista hates you.

MOCHA:

You’re in it for the buzz, you like that it makes your brain go zoom. You feel like you’re a part of the coffee crew, but know you’re being judged by flat white drinkers. You’re definitely a bottom, sorry :/.

FLAT WHITE:

When you started drinking coffee you just ordered what your mum always got, and now you’re stuck with it. You think you’re a regular at your local coffee shop, but the staff there swear they’ve never seen you before. You rule the coffee runs.

ICED LATTE:

You’re impatient and always in a rush. You can’t stand it when you order an iced coffee and an ice cream filled monstrosity is brought out to you. Also, you’re probably hot. CULTURE

CARAMEL LATTE:

Everyone says you’re basic and that’s hurtful, ya know. You’ve got layers, you take risks, one time you ordered a medium curry by accident and your eyes didn’t even water. You’ve got a taste for the finer things in life, those flavour shots don’t come cheap.

LONG BLACK:

You love a coffee date, but not the dairy induced shits that come with it. You feel a strong sense of pride when you order your black coffee among your flat white friends. Coffee fuels your cold heart and you wear Doc Marten’s.

MACCHIATO:

You went to Italy with your family in 2015. You judge other coffee drinkers and emphasise that you “just couldn’t have that much milk”. You probably pronounce espresso EX-presso.

SHORT BLACK:

You’re definitely on some kind of business call when you order your coffee in the morning. You looove the taste of dirt and pretend it tastes amazing. You’ve never owned a keep-cup and like how fancy the tiny cup makes you feel. CULTURE

MASSEY CAREER CENTRE Life after Massey… Have you thought it through? Which are you?

Whichever you are, help’s not far! With Massey Career Centre online you can… Take Career Edge+ For a quick self-assessment of your career readiness

Use CV360 for a review of your CV

Access job vacancies Work of any type, updated regularly

Check out, and book in, for career events - on campus and online

Practice for interviews with Interview360

Build your skills with e-learning materials

There will never be a better time to take a career step than now.

For all of the above and more visit: myhub.massey.ac.nz/s/careers

Presidents’ Columns

ASA: BEN AUSTIN

MAWSA: TESSA GUEST

I’m going to start sounding like a broken record soon, but here we go again. At the time of writing this I have just heard about Lockdown Season 4 and I’m starting to wonder just how they can produce seasons faster than they can find a new Bachelorette for the hit tv series that no one has gotten bored of after Art and Matilda left the show. All I know is that all 4 of the Massey Student Associations are dedicated to supporting you, the students, in these uncertain times. The ASA Hardship Grants will continue being provided and the service is 100% confidential. Keep safe everyone

Hello folks! What time is it? Not summer-time, anymore </3 BUT it IS March, and you know what that means...Pride Month here in Welly! This is the time to celebrate our rainbow communities and say HEY: people of all sexualities, genders, and sex characteristics should be welcomed and safe everywhere (including UNIVERSITY). If you’re looking for some rainbow friends on campus, be sure to hit up Uni Q, they’re the bees knees. There’s heaps going on this month, including a Pride hīkoi at the end of March which MAWSA will be at - catch ya there. All Covid-dependant, of course. It sucks, I know, but let’s be vigilant and stay safe fam

MUSA: FATIMA IMRAN

M@D: JACALYN CLARE AND JAX WATT

Hoe gaan dit everyone? Hope everyone was able to get through level two unscathed. Remember to sign in on the covid tracer app wherever you go as we’re all in this together. As you are all starting to get into a routine, remember to make enough time to exercise and spend time with those you care about (especially those in pre-vet). We are here to get an education and do well, but it should not be at the detriment of your health. I recommend going to the farmers’ markets around Palmy during the weekend to get some coffee and good food before you start your day

Whoops! Pardon our technical difficulties! Since December, Massey@Distance has been updating and upgrading our IT systems. Of course, nothing on this scale goes off without a hitch. You may have had difficulties with some of our online social media and platforms and the M@D website this past week. We apologise for this and we’ve been busy working behind the scenes to get this sorted as quickly as possible.

❤️

We would also like to assure you that M@D is standing with you during these uncertain times with COVID lockdowns. Keep an eye out on our online platforms for M@D COVID-19 support initiatives for distance students. More on this to come… Kia Kaha COLUMNS

Sexcapades Pulled a chick in town last week. She was fun, flirty, and we did tequila shots in San Fran until 2am. Like a solid 10. Mostly talked about Artic Monkeys, from what I remember. The boys were all giving me shit about it, but thankfully she didn’t notice. Split an uber back to hers, and that’s where the night began. We fucked a couple of times, it was good fun, she did even something very impressive with her legs at one point. Ended the romp on a blowjob and a kiss goodnight, then rolled over to coma out.

bed that second. But I was genuinely still trying to process what was happening. My head was pounding. And that’s when I noticed it. I had also pissed myself. Fuck, I was soaking in it. My dick was as damp as a bathroom mat, and not from the sex. Thankfully I wasn’t wearing any clothes but god, it was bad. I didn’t know what to do. Do I wake the girl up and laugh about the mutual situation we’d both found ourselves in? Share some common ground? Was this a sign that she was the one?

Woke up at midday, dry-mouthed and dusty as fuck. The light was blinding, I was so thirsty that I would have sucked my own dick at that point, just to hydrate my mouth. Looked over my shoulder, the babe was still there. Sleeping so solid, like I almost thought she was dead. And that’s when I noticed it. She was sleeping in a puddle of her own urine. Like piss. On her fucking bedsheets. The room stank.

Honestly, I kinda wish that I had. Instead I sprinted out of there, took a shower and left the girl to wake up alone. I hoped that she would kinda think that she had just done a massive piss, instead of the truth. If this sounds like you, I’m sorry. I also pissed myself. I just wanted you to know the truth.

If I wasn’t so hungover, I would have clambered out of the

Got a confession, a naughty tale, a sexy story? Email sexcapades@massivemagazine.org.nz to submit yours xoxox

COLUMNS

Culinarylingus UDON NOODLE STIR FRY WITH DUMPLINGS Sometimes I eat noodles and I feel hungry. Sometimes I eat dumplings and I still feel hungry. Introducing noodles with dumplings; the best of both worlds. Fulling, satisfying, fucking delicious. It’s healthy, probably even biodegradable with the amount of vegetables you’re dumping in there. It’s a dumpling dumping! Everything is flexible so make it your own, if you don’t have some ingredients in your pantry, you can just go without ‘em, or try something new. INSTRUCTIONS:

THE BULK: Udon Noodles

1 packet

99c

Frozen Dumplings 1 packet $3-4 (vegan or meat, whatever flavour you like) THE VEG: Literally any veges you can get your filthy mitts on, but here are my faves:

Cook the dumplings in a small, separate pan, they take up to 10 minutes so follow the packet instructions and put them on first. While the dumplings cook, slice the veges up reallll thin

Pok Choy

1 head

Chuck the onions in a hot pan, then add the veg in order of hardness (eg, carrots first, then brocc, etc. Mushroom and pok choy last)

Carrot

Fry ‘em up real good.

Capsicum

Add the spices and sauces! Salt too if you want

Onion

1 small or ½ large

Broccoli

A handful

Udon goes in at the very end, with a bit of water to separate them.

Mushroom

Chuck in 5 or so

THE FLAVOUR:

Let them sit in the liquid for maybe 30 seconds. Jiggle it occasionally with ya spatchy spatch until it comes loose.

Crushed Garlic A solid dallop

Stir it all together, huck the dumplings on top.

Ginger

Damn, looks and smells solid

Half a teaspoon or so

Soy sauce – You never know with soy, just put some in and taste it... Sweet Chilli -

A nice big goop, or 2, or 3

Chinese 5 spice –

Sprinkle around the pan

Serves: 2 (or 1 student dinner and lunch.) Double the recipe to feed the flat, or if you’re just hungry. By Liam McGuire COLUMNS

PUZZLES ACROSS

DOWN

1 He could be consumed with a lust to become crystal-user (6)

2 Combine fossil fuel energy with significantly cleaner energy sources (8)

5 Very delicate material available from the Web (8) 9 Vessel containing pills primarily? (8) 10 Kingdom that’s in possession of year-old Japanese painting (5-1) 11 Defeated party bouncing back as poll for Euro is decided (8) 12 In just under a month German replaces new car (6) 13 Introductory radio broadcast given by Liberal after European vote (8) 15 Slav girl has year off (4) 17 Nest’s located by English woman (4)

Set by Alberich

19 I attempt to keep a certain equality of measure (8)

www.alberichcrosswords.com

QUICK QUIZ!

1. What pop artist recently called out Netflix show Ginny and Georgia? 2. How many Golden Globes was Emily in Paris nominated for? 3. What’s a baby rabbit called? 4. What image prompted the creation of Google Images?

02/03/2021

Print the sudoku puzzle

5. What’s the biggest animal in the world?

Sudoku.cool

3 5

9 4

9 6

Sudoku , Hard , Puzzle NO. 3456259

2 5

7 3

4 7

21 It’s fired from Winchester perhaps (8) 22 Enjoy the taste (6) 23 Paisley for example puts marriage first (8) 24 Making certain to telephone after being given place by university (8)

4 Sent academician translation of Proust that’s about acceptable (9) 5 German poet said to have blasted “mostly dumb German opera” (15) 6 Tree from Lusaka’s gone astray (7) 7 Summer festival’s leading lady finds setter’s packing a most powerful piece (3,5) 8 Gypsy gentleman needs money for food (8) 14 Passed examinations? (9) 15 Piece of music much performed in Copenhagen? (8) 16 Marine being risqué in speech, almost drunk (8) 17 Cosmetic from the Orient found on the old ship (8) 18 No rep is substituted, note, when one appears thus (2,6) 19 One charges, taking pound from heroworshipper (7)

25 A series that’s tied? (6)

please recycle your rubbish especially glass and plastic look after the earth okay love you

2 7

20 Loathing produced by crone hoarding money (6)

3 What old newspaper did, having cowardly editor (8)

Sudoku

Sudoku.cool

Sudoku Today ( https://sudoku.today ) Samurai Sudoku ( https://samuraisudoku.com ) Newdoku ( https://newdoku.com ) Sudoku Puzzle ( https://www.sudokupuzzle.org )

ANSWERS 1. Taylor Swift 2. Two 3. Kittens 4. Jennifer Lopez in a jungle print dress, designed by Donatella Versace, attending the 2000 Grammy Awards. 5. The Blue Whale

https://sudoku.cool/sudoku/printable.php?id=MGzuQ11XNijnIY1uO1QO0O0OO0O0O

1/1

COLUMNS

HOROSCOPES Aquarius:

Aries:

While having cones with your flatmates this week you will feel like you’re floating on air. You will look like you are floating on air. You are floating. Be sure to have a designated anchor person in your sesh group, or else you might just float away.

You wake up to find you’ve slept through your first day of university, wait, your first week? Dreary eyed you check your phone. No… No this can’t be right… is that what year it is??? You need to set more alarms next time you drink

Cancer:

Capricorn:

Your walks home this week will remind you of a shower. Wet, lonely, and a little too cold to be comfortable. A raincoat should fix all of these... if you hold it close enough.

Stay away from men in town this week. And next week. In fact, avoid men indefinitely. It’s for your own sake. If you are a man and therefore cannot avoid one, beware. You are breaking the law, and will be hunted for sport… But not the kind that men watch.

Gemini:

Leo:

As the mediator of your flat, it’s time to have a stern conversation with your flatmate about the nightmarish howling at 3am. It’s keeping everyone up. You’ll have to reiterate that designated howling times are between 11am and 1pm, as outlined in the tenancy agreement.

You will spend many hours this week staring into the void. On Wednesday, it will stare back. You will lock eyes, the void will blush. The void looks especially thicc today, you bite your lip. “You got snap?” you will ask. It does not.

Libra:

Pisces:

Catch the eye of that cutie from class. Hold it. Roll it between your fingers, clean it with some water and light scrubbing. But be sure to give it back. Wouldn’t want to look like a weirdo… would you?

You will make friends this week by accidental astral projection. Who knew zoning out in class would be so fun? Cherish the lifetime you spend with your newfound companion before being dragged, unwilling, into the sentient world. Only a moment has passed.

Sagittarius:

Scorpio:

Sit back, relax. You can’t do work this late in the day. You’re too tired. Farrrr too tired. Your shoulders hang, your eyelids droop, your body lightly rumbles with a snore. You have been sleeping too long. Wake up… WAKE UP

You will have a terrifying encounter with the most fearsome creature in this plane of existence: Property managers. Beware their judging eyes, scratching notepads and sharp, pointed teeth. Beware the property managers. Beware.

Taurus:

Virgo:

Take a break, that pile of dishes isn’t going anywhere. Not anywhere at all. No matter how hard you try, you cannot move them. You are not strong enough. Accept your dishes, cherish them, and they will thrive and grow like all good children... albeit with mould.

Tussock coffee is too hot this week, cool it down with light exposure to your soul by staring at it blankly for 4 hours. If it cools down too much, well… that’s too bad. Buy another, repeat the process carefully. Soul exposure is a delicate science.

COLUMNS