ASSIV
MASSIVE
9
16 may 2022
DRUGS & ALCOHOL ISSUE
Editoral
3
News
4
Features Micro Dosing Mums
10
The Top 5 'Weed' in Video Games
14
Revisiting the Alcohol that Ruined Us 22 Wine Was and Still is Classist
24
An Insight Into the Cannabis Referendum
26
Columns Worst of the Worst
28
Sexcapades
29
Confessions of...
30
Te Reo and NZSL
31
Solicited Advice
32
Horoscopes
34
Snapchats
35
Puzzles
36 39
Presidents Column
Editor - Mason Tangatatai Designer - Marie Bailey News Editor - Elise Cacace Culture Editor - Elena McIntyre-Reet Sub Editor - Jamie Mactaggart News Reporter - Sammy Carter Feature Writer - Mia Faiumu Feature Writer - Lily Petrovich Feature Writer - Aiden Wilson Illustrator - Kimi Moana Whiting Illustrator - Sara Moana Photographer - Amelia Radley Photographer - Callum Parsons ’tbeMagzin,syvoldchmpruf eatosdrwCuncilhPeZtNgsMav eE sandopir,blfwAt.ThvcPSu Mme etMasynprdihgofvc g.nzemaior@svdtyqucPlp U
AT’S IN I hate craft beer, and you should too.
Pyramid schemes, NFTs, paying for your own Netflix and craft beer.
This is a list of industrial scams that I am acutely aware of. There are many artisan industries that I could choose to aim at during my time as Massive Magazine Editor, but I have elected to store my bullet and aim fire at craft breweries because I just hate them (and this is the drug and alcohol edition, so kinda topical). I hate their stupid names. “Yeastie Boys”, “Dirty Water”, “Stag Semen Stout.” I can’t tell if the industry is taking the piss, or if breweries have gotten away with the most elaborate scam of our generation, but they certainly sell. I hate the way they attempt to hoodwink the oblivious student into thinking that the meek, fizzy liquid actually tastes good. I once ordered a craft beer at a bar and the tasting notes referred to wheat, gooseberry and mango marmalade.
Thinking back on this moment, all I can say is well played you bastards. I honestly wouldn’t know what wheat, let alone gooseberry, tastes like normally. But you expect me to pick out these flavours when all I'm thinking about is how outrageously expensive and pompous this drink is??? Setting aside all that complete and utter pretentious bullshit, we arrive at the dichotomy that lies at the heart of craft beer. Or indeed, craft anything…but as I said before, I am angry, and going after the beer crowd. The word ‘craft’ implies care and attention. You know, images of a small pot of beer lovingly made in a cottage overlooking the sea. Most of all, craft implies scarcity and an exclusive supply. My nana makes scones that are, I suppose, ‘craft scones’, but she wasn’t a fool, or a scammer, and therefore they were just plain old scones. You see, craft beer is essentially toying with the classics. For example, Game of Thrones tried
getting too tricky, and the classic series ended up shit creek without a paddle.
And what ties up the ribbon on craft beer's downfall is the un-student-like culture it has brought upon our country. For God's sake, when you’re enjoying a beverage, you want to talk to your friends about their shit lives, shit jobs and how much they are struggling. Craft beer is a conversation, which really gets to the heart of the matter: I don’t want to have a conversation about my drink, I want to have a conversation with one in my hand. This whole social revolution gives me flashbacks to when all that people would talk to me about at party’s was the lime green Vodka Cruiser in my hand – haters. My editorial space isn’t long enough, but here are three other reasons craft beer sux: 1. 2. 3.
Costs a lot. Craft beer snobs are the worst (similar to wine snobs). It makes me feel stupid when I can't tell the difference between an IPA and an APA.
Students of Massey, If I could make one simple request, that would be that you never fawn over craft beer. Go to your local boozer and pick up your ol' faithful and call it a day. If you were looking for an Editor’s recommendation, my go to is Tui. Tui is cheap, it tastes like vegemite (trust me) and it keeps one of Aotearoa’s native birds in the limelight. If that isn’t the simplicity and utter iconicness that we should all be looking for in our beverage of choice, then I frankly, do not know what is. Fuck craft beer, Mason
16 MAY 2022
MASSIVE NEWS
WHAT’S GOING ON? WEEKLY NEWS UPDATES
Massey falling behind in drug testing Elise Cacace (she/her)
go in regards to eliminating the risk of spiked drugs, there are two major organisations working hard for this very cause.
Drugs are like children. You don’t have to have them. You don’t even have to associate with them. But unless you decide to ship yourself off to Antarctica and live the rest of your life on a drifting icecap, you’re going to encounter them.
High Alert provides an online platform where people can anonymously report unusual side effects from drugs, which then gets sent out as an email alert to subscribed New Zealanders, warning them of the potential spiked drug in circulation.
Recreational drugs aren’t for everybody, but for a lot of New Zealand youth, drugs are fun. They dictate the vibrant atmospheres of clubs and festivals. They create dreamy mellow paradises from the setting of a stoners lounge. They provide a temporary escape from the often-rigid reality of our world. There are so many pleasantries that drugs provide us with, but like most good things, they have an extremely dark side.
The Level actually offers free drug checking clinics around New Zealand. The clinics are free and entirely confidential, meaning they won’t take any of your personal details and won’t take any drugs off of you. You also don’t run any risk of getting into trouble with the law. The Level is purely about making sure New Zealanders know exactly what drugs they are taking, and keeping everybody safe. Information on the times and locations of these clinics can be found at thelevel.org.nz.
‘The Level’ and ‘High Alert’ are two national organisations actively trying to make drug usage safer among New Zealanders. They are both driven by the same sole mission: to be there for people who use recreational drugs. Both organisations offer information, support and tips on drugs, as well as free, anonymous drug testing clinics, and warnings on potentially harmful substances circulating the New Zealand ‘drug market’. Not including alcohol, mind-altering substances cannot be purchased from a wholly reliable distributor because of the obvious fact that they are illegal. For this reason alone, purchasing recreational drugs will never come with a guarantee that the consumer is getting exactly what they paid for. You see the problem here? Although we still have a long way to
Otago and Victoria University have also started taking initiative and running the same drug checking stations on campus, at certain times of the year, and many Massey students feel that their university needs to take the same step. “It’s just such a positive thing. So many people, especially older associates at Massey, believe that by checking students' drugs for them, you are pretty much promoting drug usage, but that just isn’t true. It’s quite disappointing that Massey is so far behind in that aspect,” says Sophie Tooney, Massey grad student. “I’ve been up to Vic once before to get some gear tested and it was great. I’ve wanted to use it so many more times but it has never been open. I definitely think that New Zealand needs more 4 / Karere
clinics and spaces like that. One for every university would be ideal.” “I think it would be such an asset to the University, and prevent so many cases where students end up in hospital because they’ve been spiked or something. If drug checking was more accessible, which it would be if it was on campus, then it would make the student drug culture just that much more secure,” says Liam Bailey, another Massey student. “Not only would drug testing stop people taking spiked drugs, but it would also stop people making them in the first place. If dealers knew they couldn’t get away with selling spiked drugs as easily, it surely just wouldn’t be a thing,” says student Grace McNair. The Level and High Alert released a statement saying, “Over half the substances tested in the summer of 2020/2021 were actually synthetic cathinones (bath salts) and not the MDMA that people thought they had.” Additionally, “In New Zealand, most cocaine is not ‘pure’ and is mixed with fillers like caffeine, creatine, and glutamine. It can also be mixed with other drugs like amphetamines.” Even milder drugs like cannabis can still be laced with harmful additives. “It is a good idea to smell your cannabis before you use it. If it has an unusual chemical smell, it is likely to be synthetic cannabinoids. These drugs have much different and more dangerous effects than cannabis.” For a lot of young people though, especially on a big night out or at a festival, the euphoria of being high outweighs the potential risk of the drugs being spiked.
16 MAY 2022
MASSIVE NEWS
“Everybody runs that same risk of getting laced, but if you weren’t in it to get fucked up then you wouldn’t be doing it,” says Jordan, a recent Massey graduate. He says, “Sometimes the person you’re buying from will send you a picture of a home purity test that they’ve done, which is usually enough reassurance. But again, there’s no way to be sure that it’s legit without testing it yourself.” “Buying from a dealer with a good reputation, or somebody you or your mates have bought from before is another way to get that extra bit of trust in what you’re taking.” Cosmic Corner and Hemp Store reagent tests are a great step in the direction of ensuring safe recreational drug circulation. They are do-ityourself, at home testing kits that
instantly tell you whether your drugs have been spiked, yet in the just-out-ofisolation flurry and the summer festival season, their supply runs out faster than ur dad. This is problematic for obvious reasons. What New Zealand needs is widespread, confidential, reliable and easily accessible resource that can guarantee the safety of our recreational drugs, that doesn’t cause any scepticism because of the fact that DruGs aRe iLleGaL. For all of us though, the extent of our accessible drug testing resources just shouldn’t be good enough. Young people in their prime experimentation years should not have to play Russian roulette every time they want to have a night out with their good friend Molly. It is about time boomers and straight-edged politicians stop sweeping youth drug habits under the rug, placing so much of their time and
FILM 85 Ghuznee St, Te Aro, Wellington www.splendid.nz @splendid.nz
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energy into scare tactics as opposed to providing methods of playing it safe. The curiosity of drugs is never going to cease in young people, it’s in our nature, so they may as well stop treating it like a disease to be cured, and start implementing more ways to reduce drug-related harm. Whether you’re a saint or a sinner, advocating for a stronger partnership between universities and drug safety organisations an important aspect of preventing drug mishaps. Nobody wants to end up in a situation where they feel out of control and unsafe in their own body, especially under the influence of drugs. We need to stomp out the stigma surrounding recreational drugs and start protecting our people by providing outlets for taking drugs safely.
16 MAY 2022
MASSIVE NEWS
Drink spiking prevention cast aside as bars focus on other issues Sammy Carter (she/her)
Anti-drink spiking products are being introduced in bars around the world, but New Zealand bars and clubs are yet to jump on the band wagon. As clubs and bars take time to educate staff about sexual assault prevention, drink spiking prevention has taken a back seat. Drink spiking is when someone puts drugs or alcohol into a drink without the person knowing, usually at a club or bar. The drugs known as ‘date rape drugs’ are often dangerous and mind-altering. Brands like Nightcap, StopTopps, Spikeys, and Undercover Colours make anti-drink spiking products like reusable or disposable cup covers and drink testers. Straws that change colour when a drug is detected are in the works for retail. Matt Mclaughlin, owner of Wellington’s Panhead, Iron Horse and Moustache Dive Bar (formally known as Danger Danger) said it does not use any anti-drink spiking products. “We’re probably looking at the bigger picture and looking for other things that we can monitor and others ways we can help with sexual offenders.” He said while drink spiking does happen, “Sexual assaults are more than likely happening cause people are too boozed rather than the fact that their drinks have been spiked.” Mclaughlin is a facilitator and trainer for the ‘Don’t Guess the Yes’ sexual assault campaign. The campaign focuses on training bar and club staff around alcohol consumption and sexual consent, with staff learning to monitor and respond to inappropriate behaviour. “We’re looking for men buying girls drinks without being asked to. We’ve heard of instances of people coming up to the bar and asking for five shots of tequila and one of water and actually that’s not on.” Mclaughlin said many Wellington businesses are
getting involved, with 60 to 100 people at training twice a year. “There's probably other things that we feel are better to monitor than drink spiking.” However, Mclaughlin said anti-drink spiking products would “without a doubt” be something to think about using. Wellington Councillor Fleur Fitzsimons has advocated against sexual violence in the city. She said, “Every time a drink is spiked, people are at serious risk and bar staff and bystanders both have a role to play in keeping people safe.” She said many bars do take responsibility to prevent drink spiking, “but there is more work to do”. Fitzsimon said, “It would be useful if all bars agreed to train their staff on spotting and stopping spiking and supporting victims [as] well.” Aryan Soin, owner and manager of Auckland’s Sapphire Nightclub said in terms of anti-drink spiking products, “I don’t think there's anything available in the country for us to use without it being really expensive.” After being open on and off over the pandemic, he said anti-drink spiking products is not something it has put much thought into. But it's something it can look at in the future. “What I see girls doing at the moment, that works is they’ll just get a tissue paper and poke their straw through, so it does the same thing.” Soin said, “At the end of the day I want everyone at my venue to be safe, if we can start getting those drink covers, we can do it.” “I think the straws is a really good
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idea if they can be made inexpensive enough for the bars to purchase them.” He said, “If the government was to subsidize or provide something, I think that would be a really good way of doing it.” While the club doesn’t use any antidrink spiking products, “if there's anyone who needs to leave their drink, we’ll take it for them. We tell people not to leave their drinks lying around.” The bar also does bag searches upon entry. Jose Ubiaga, owner of Dakota Bar, The Residence, and The Establishment in Wellington also said it does not use anti-drink spiking products. “Thats a tough one to try and stop people from spiking drinks apart from being able to monitor people’s behaviours and how quickly they can change.” All of Ubiaga’s staff have gone to the ‘Don’t Guess the Yes’ trainings which has made a big difference in sexual assault prevention. He said drink spiking was a tough thing to prove in a busy bar. “Sometimes they claim their drinks been spiked and in actual fact they’ve just had a couple of shots and it hit them fast.” “If we do get notified that someone's drink has been spiked, we can go through cameras and have a look at that sort of stuff.” While it wasn’t something he had previously put much thought into, Ubiaga said he would “absolutely” consider implementing cup covers or straws that change colour when a drink has been spiked. “We’re always keen to try and keep a safe environment for our clientele.”
16 MAY 2022
MASSIVE NEWS
Experience: Losing a friend to a drug overdose Theo Gerritsen
CW: Drug abuse *Names have been changed. “It felt like a movie, it felt fake, especially when we ran up to the house to see what was going on. We could see Luke looking down at us, his face was white as a ghost.”
“We thought Luke’s text might have meant Tom had been caught with some drugs. ‘He’s dead’ as in ‘it's over, he’s done’.”
Less than a month ago Kate, a Wellington student in her 20s, hopped on a plane to Auckland for a weekend of celebration.
Hints of anger can be heard in Kate's hushed tone as she recalls the manner in which Tom's fate was finally revealed.
She expected to spend her weekend hanging out and partying with friends she hadn’t seen for a while, not to lose one.
“We didn't know if he was dead yet, and they came down with the defibrillator and said ‘bloody nice day isn’t it, alright so shall we go get the death certificate’, and that's how we found out.
Kate discusses the night with a faint sense of melancholy, remembering and cherishing the last time she saw a friend talk, dance and laugh. The calm before the storm. A group including Kate's best friend Megan and two of Megan's flatmates, Tom and Luke, embarked on the obligatory Saturday rager.
"My friend dropped to the ground.” Kate suspects a lethal cocktail of recreational drugs and prohibited performance enhancing drugs are behind her friend's death. “I know that he had cocaine, ketamine, MDMA and possibly other stuff.
“It was a great night. I’ll admit we were taking drugs, but nowhere near as much as Tom was.
“He kept doing drugs all throughout the next day and obviously took it too far.
“Me and Megan called it a night around 2am and went to Tom’s flat for ‘kick-ons’ before heading off to my hotel at 3am.”
“He was also on performance enhancing drugs, so I think his heart could have given in at any minute.”
The following day, around 1pm, Kate and Megan were called by a distressed Luke. Tom had stayed up all night and was behaving erratically. “Luke thought Tom had overdosed and was having a psychotic episode, running himself into walls and smashing his head against them,” Kate recalls. “Tom thought Luke was trying to kill him, that he had hired a sniper, so he was throwing things at him, throwing the table.” Kate and Megan rushed over. “When we arrived, so did the ambulance and the police. As we were running up to the house Luke texted us and said that Tom was dead.” Initially the pair misinterpreted the message as meaning the police had arrested Tom for his behaviour and possessing a variety of narcotics.
Kate's experience has drastically changed her views on drugs, especially on what constitutes drug abuse and when something has gone too far. “It made me realise how many other people we know do stuff like that on a night out and just think it's normal. “If I saw people doing things in excess now, even if I didn’t know them that well, I’d step in. “You need to test your drugs and you need to know what you’re putting in your body.” With a voice painfully familiar with the subject on which it is speaking, she ends the interview with one last piece of advice. “Don't push it, know your limits.” Note: A spokesperson for the Ministry of Justice confirmed Tom's death has been referred to the Coroner and the case is active.
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16 MAY 2022
MASSIVE NEWS
Bizarre new fad favours cigarettes over vaping Bridget Barter
Is smoking cigarettes a great way to quit vaping? If you’ve spent the last year of your life at university amongst students, you can almost guarantee that you have been around someone vaping. It has taken Aotearoa by storm, plaguing every smoking area, classroom and university hall. Vaping was originally marketed as a safer and tastier way to get a nicotine fix, with big brands like Juul stating that their goal is to “save the lives of billions of smokers”. The irony in this statement is Juul has been pumping kids with more nicotine than they can handle, effectively being more detrimental to teens and young adults than smoking would have been.
Recently, there has been an influx of young people pulling the uno reverse card and instead using cigarettes as a way to stop vaping. Although this sounds completely stupid as we all grew up with huge ‘no smoking’ campaigns, vaping could be considered more addictive than cigarettes. Pubmed states that the average disposable vape has around 40-50mg of nicotine whereas a cigarette has 10mg. However, you only inhale roughly 1-2mg due to not all of the smoke reaching the lungs. This means that on an average day, vapers may consume as much nicotine as a chain smoker. Perhaps the shame behind lighting up a cigarette is the motivating factor in this bizarre new fad. Having to go outside, alienate yourself from anyone close by and think about what you are doing is the best way to make you realise how dangerous smoking truly is. And in case that doesn’t work, the smell on your fingers, clothes and
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breath will linger and make anyone you speak to in the next 30 minutes aware of your habit. Isolating your friends and smelling worse may be the most motivating factors for someone who is seriously committed to quitting Nina Cameron, a 20-year-old student, has been unsuccessful in her mission to quit vaping since the end of summer. When told about this recent phenomenon, she says she “never thought about switching to cigarettes” due to the bad odour. She also says, “Vaping is a lot more socially acceptable; you can't just whip out a cigarette and have a quick puff, you have to commit to the whole thing and all the associations it comes with.” Addiction isn’t a straight line and trying to quit a daily habit is an extremely difficult task. Instead of going to buy a pack of cigarettes, go visit the student's health and discuss other options with a professional that will be better for your health.
16 MAY 2022
MASSIVE NEWS
title author
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Mia Fiaumu (she/her)
Illustrated by Sara Moana (she/her)
Micro Dosing Mums: How White Women are Co-Opting Indigenous Healing Methods
This week for our Drugs and Alcohol issue, I have looked into a new demographic of drug users that are partaking in the rising trend of psychedelic-assisted therapy. Western mothers across the globe are increasingly turning to micro dosing capsules of magic mushrooms to ease the stress of parenthood. This is a vastly new demographic than has previously been known to society. It is likely this is owed to
the various states across the US that have changed their policies regarding psychedelic usage therefore altering their criminal status. Due to these changes, these types of therapeutic sessions are becoming more available. Although, it is becoming clear that the benefits of these drugs are not being distributed evenly with sessions costing exuberant amounts, ensuring that only the wealthy are experiencing access.
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The Science It is considered by a range of studies that psychedelic drugs result in an increased ability to react to situations with empathy, compassion and vulnerability (Stanley, 2022). The brief science behind this is that psilocybin, which is the mind-enhancing chemical within magic mushrooms, affects our ability to control our sense of self or ego (Dy, 2021). The noteworthy aspect of these studies is the effect this has on parent’s ability to be responsive rather than reactive to their children through a better understanding of their own vulnerabilities and trauma (Stanley, 2022). According to Rebecca Kronman, a clinical social worker who administers ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, setting up a safe and therapeutic trip setting and getting into a more mindful state to explore intentions are important features to this practice. In other words, you need to make sure you’re translating your experience on psychedelics into direct action within your life. These factors can enable users to experience “this feeling of healing within themselves of generational trauma that has been passed on to them and how that has helped them show up as better people, better parents”. Many mothers have discussed their fear of being associated with their drug use because of the criminality it carries. The United States Federal Government still classifies psychedelics as Schedule 1 drugs, the same category that cannabis sits within. The state of Oregon has now decriminalised psychedelics, while many others have altered their state policies to deprioritise the use of psychedelics for law enforcement arrests. But what is often missed from these conversations is that we are seeing another co-option of an indigenous practice that has been criminalised for years to benefit the livelihoods of white women now crediting micro dosing with improved health benefits.
The Question of Access This is not about gate-keeping. Rather I am trying to articulate that indigenous healers, those within the regions of the Amazon, Mexico, and Africa, among many others, have used psychedelics for thousands of years and have not been thought of or involved in the process of these substances moving into the mainstream of western medicine. This is about access and the privilege of the upper class to be able to partake in these therapies and retreats that are largely unaffordable for the average person. What is a long-standing indigenous tradition has become commodified to benefit only the wealthy, keeping out the original holders of this knowledge. The term psychedelic was only introduced in 1956 by a British psychiatrist and was posited to mean ‘mind manifesting’ (Stanley, 2022). While the term is new to our psyche, the actual plants and fungi that psychedelics are derived from have been in use for thousands of years by indigenous healers for both spiritual and medicinal purposes. For the Mazatec, an indigenous community in the Oaxaca, Puebla and Veracruz regions of Mexico, psilocybincontaining mushrooms have been used for generations in traditional rituals (Gregoire, 2021). The introduction of psilocybin to the western world was through the excavation of the Mazatec’s own culture. María Sabina was a curandera from the Mazatec tribe of the Sierra foothills of Oaxaca and led healing ceremonies and rituals using psilocybin mushrooms. In 1995, an American ethnomycologist went in search of Sabina and was given permission to enter her village with a photographer to participate in a healing ceremony. Wasson’s journey became the cover story for Life Magazine and subsequently introduced the West to the magic of mushrooms. Many people were intrigued by this story and Sabina’s village thus became inundated with tourists hoping to participate in the ceremonies they had read about. This led to deep contempt within her community as her village accused her of selling their traditions for her own personal gain (Gregoire, 2021).
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As the West continue to enjoy the legacy of María Sabina, it is important to acknowledge the continuation of processes of colonisation whereby settler governments continue to travel to international countries and excavate indigenous traditions for capitalistic profit. The criminalisation of psychedelics also saw people of colour suffer most greatly. The war on drugs has seen nearly 80 per cent of all people incarcerated in federal prison for drug offences be black or Latino despite similar usage rates amongst white populations (Stanley, 2022). Now, as drug laws are loosening, we are seeing retreats and therapy becoming available yet not accessible for those that have been most affected by these draconian drug laws. For example, Ember Health in New York offers ketamineassisted therapy for depression treatment. They charge US$550 per single ketamine infusion visit.
While moving in a progressive direction for drug reform is immensely important, it is similarly important that indigenous groups are included within the process of legalisation. They should be enabled to hold sovereignty over the ownership, distribution and profits of the psychedelic healing that has existed within their cultures for thousands of years. What we are seeing now is a capitalist commodification of indigenous healing methods that benefits the middle and upper class while remaining out of reach for the rest of the population. Some reflections, for all of us in Aotearoa, on the necessity to think outside of the capitalist mindset that dominates our society. A reminder of the need to put the sovereignty of indigenous communities at the forefront of national priorities always.
The Buena Vida Psilocybin Retreats, started by Amanda Schendel, take place in Mexican luxury hotels. The cost for her holistic, all-inclusive retreats ranges from $3,500 to $7,000. Synthesis Retreat located in Amsterdam also offers psilocybin therapy through a five-day residential retreat. The fees for the retreat start at US$6,497. According to a report by Data Bridge Market Research, the global psychedelic market is projected to go from a US$2.8 million industry in 2020 to $7.5 million by 2028. With the rising profit margins of the psychedelic market, the red flag is glaringly obvious regarding who actually benefits from the legalisation of psychedelic drugs. Vanessa Panzella-Velez, who was interviewed by Bazaar, noted that, “These things that are now trendy have been a way of life for indigenous communities.” “Plant medicine was brushed away by colonisation, which deemed psychedelics to be savagery… I’m glad that this medicine is getting out there, but we do need to make sure that access is not just for white, privileged people.” There are parallels that we can draw here in Aotearoa, as we still see the effects of colonisation occurring. The question of sovereignty and ownership over one’s traditions is something of ever importance and should not be dismissed.
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Thanks to modern computer processing power, and science beyond my understanding, we no longer have to ask “what if”. So, join me, as we look into the cyberspace-strains of everyone’s favourite Class C substance.
Today we review…
The Top 5
"weed" in Video Games. Aiden Wilson (he/him)
Illustrated by @geegebee
Cannabis. That leafy green plant we see dotting the snapbacks of almost every twelve-year-old riding an MGP scooter. I, like many of you probably, first learnt about this substance through a certain giraffe, in the back of a bus outside my intermediate. Using visual aids and superb storytelling skills, that giraffe prepared me for a world where every single person I know WOULD offer me weed, and would NEVER take no for an answer. Harold existed in an age where weed was only possible in the material plain. As I know nothing about weed or drugs, my good friend who we shall call Heisenberg has agreed to give their completely unbiased and unfiltered insight as to how accurate the 420ing going on within these games truly is. I have it on record that Heisenberg has smelt weed at least once in their life, maybe even had a weed before, so you know they know what they’re talking about.
BUT WHAT F I WE MADE WEED... DIGT I AL WHAT IF WE COULD GET BAKED... IN THE METAVERSE? WHAT IF... HAROLD FOUND OUT ABOUT DIGITAL WEED? WOULD HE PREFER IT, OR JUST BE DISSAPOINTED WE WEREN’T GETTING HIGH WITH OUR FRIENDS IN THE REAL WORLD?
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?
5. Your Son Jimmy's Bong 4.
Vaas's Crop Farm - Far Cry 3
- Grand Theft Auto V
Ryder and Little Jacob – two names which GTA fans know are synonymous with getting blazed off the good kush. Arguably, neither have had stoney cultural impact and acclaim like GTA V’s own Jimmy De Santa, AKA Big J, AKA J-Dog, AKA Jizzle. At any point during the game’s campaign, while playing as Michael, the player has the opportunity to, as the kids say, “take a rip” from Jimmy’s iconic bong. This action leaves Michael coughing, causing the screen to turn into a technicolor blur complimented with wavey lines.
Heisenberg’s take!
“The second you ingest the tiniest bit of weed your vision starts to tint green. [As] far as accuracy is concerned, I see no problems here. Also, Michael must be a frequent user as he does a massive pull, ingests the smoke instead of exhaling and doesn’t cough. Truly he’s what all stoners aspire to be someday.” Just as I had suspected, GTA V offered an incredibly detailed and completely realistic depiction of how weed affects us. Heisenberg later confirmed that weed causes you to have an existential and aggressive internal monologue about your role as a father, and how you’re smoking your son Jimmy’s weed, so this checks out for accuracy too.
One of the most popular shooter franchises out there, Far Cry 3 set the series trend of over-the-top action mixed with sex, cussing, and of course – lots and lots of drugs. One such mission sees the culmination of all elements, minus the sex, when the player is tasked with burning a weed operation to the ground… with a flamethrower. Igniting the various plant fields causes the game world to bloom, become oversaturated and blurry as hell, as well as causing Skrillex’s “Make it Bun Dem” to begin blaring in a totally not obnoxious or racially insensitive manner.
Heisenberg’s take!
“This makes me think of hanging out with six friends in high school, blasting Die Antwoord and smoking together…” Heisenberg found this depiction very relatable. When I asked if smoking weed really did make Skrillex randomly start playing, they seemed a bit unsure. Ten hours later they consumed an edible and then sent me a very alarmed message. "I h8 myself I had a brownie to help myself sleep and I can't sleep bc no brian is just fucking blasting that skrillex song from far cry." And if this does not confirm the accuracy then I have no idea what will.
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3. Smokeables
from ''Brown Baggers'' - Saints Row Back in 2006, Saints Row dared to ask the question, “What if weed was legal?” Obviously given the excessive violence and crude humour, this only gave ammunition to certain parties as to why it SHOULDN’T be legal. To this day, Saints Row’s Brown Baggers stand as a symbol of what could have been (and still could be). Rocking up to any of these stores around Stillwater, the player can purchase a variety of cannabis related products in a safe manner, completely legal and over the counter. The player is also at liberty to smoke right then and there if they desire, most likely so they can make room in their pockets to purchase even more of the devil's lettuce to take home. From already rolled blunts, to a prepacked and fully watered bong, Saints Row really dared to dream about what life could be like if weed was legal.
Heisenberg’s take!
“This is the future we could’ve had if the referendum went through… Specifically this is what *INSERT A CERTAIN SHOP IN PALMY* could’ve been if the referendum went through. However, as hopeful as I am for the future, I’m not the most keen on smoking instore then driving straight after… mayhaps not the best thing.” While the concept of a dispensary where you can smoke in-store as soon as your gear is in hand seemed far-fetched to Heisenberg, the prices of the good stuff were incredibly close to what they’d been paying. “$20 for a single blunt? Yeah, that’s accurate.” Heisenberg then began to cry profusely for a few minutes, murmuring about the future we missed out on. “$40 for a Rick and Morty bong, pre filled! What a world we could’ve lived in…” What a world indeed, Heisenberg. What a world indeed…
2.
''Weed'' - The Minecraft Weed Mod If there’s one thing that Minecraft goes hand in hand with, it’s pot. I assume. I’m not really sure honestly, but many people on the worldwide internet shared that sentiment and hey, when have people on the internet ever been wrong?? After growing your own cannabis, or game-ending a few randomly spawning “Hippy” mob characters and collecting the buds they drop, the player is able to craft a variety of weed items. These items include a single blunt, or an edible which is literally just a slice of cake stuffed full of weed. Consuming either of these gives the player whacky status effects, making the screen wobble and even increasing their strength, speed and jump height!
Heisenberg’s take!
“World spinning after a big edible… yup. Also, you don’t get physical strength but you do become dumb enough to start thinking you’re way stronger. As for the jump boost, high people do enjoy jumping, I think you just wanna be up high in a literal sense.” The overall accuracy seems all fine and good, maybe even the most accurate out of all the video game ganjas so far! But there was one burning question I NEEDED Heisenberg to answer: Can you make an edible by just jamming weed, uncooked, straight into a slice of cake? “I mean… it would work…. It’s just a waste of resources…” When I asked how you would NOT waste resources they proceeded to go on a tangent and describe a recipe for homemade nerd's rope edibles.
1. Weeds - Animal Crossing New Horizons
Finally… the number one spot. What I consider to be the most accurate depiction of weed in all video games: the weeds which appear on your island in Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Leaving the game a few days, then coming back to it will allow the player to discover that their island has been overgrown with weed! And while you cannot smoke it, you can pull each and every one and sell them for profit at the store or wait and sell them to a dodgy sloth guy who will pay double for what you have. Everything we’ve looked at showed the completely and utterly accurate reality of smoking weed, but Animal Crossing shows you what it’s like to deal. In New Horizons, you ARE a weed kingpin.
Heisenberg’s take!
“Use the ‘Y’ button, to weed. But like to be fair… if you do come across weed in the wild you would… pull it out…” Heisenberg then proceeded to burst into tears for the third time during the interview, mourning the future that is just out of reach, how weed could’ve sprouted everywhere, and we could be selling it all right now “if the referendum went through”.
It was around this point that I started to realise Heisenberg may not be as educated about weed as I once thought. Alas, time was short and they’re the best I had for these reviews, so they closed off with some genuine words of wisdom. “Everyone should bug the Green Party to try and do another referendum, cause while weed memes and jokes are funny, the criminalization of weed is outdated and incredibly racially biased. In saying that, don’t do drugs or you’ll have to deal with the disappointment of our favourite giraffe puppet.” Heisenberg then winked at me, before flying off into the sunset, presumably going to mislead and misinform others about the accuracies of dope in video games.
18 / Aronui
Bless you, Heisenberg, wherever you are. To summarise, if you want an accurate experience of how pot be you cannot go wrong with ANY of those listed above. Truly the developers knew exactly how weed operates. It’s wonderful to see accurate substitutes on the market for those without access, those who can’t smoke, or those who just want to try something different.
Digital cannabis... what a marvelous time to be alive...
19 / Aronui
Revisiting the Alcohol that ruined us Elena McIntyre-Reet (she/her)
We all have one drink that we can’t even look at because of too many traumatic memories. For me it’s Absolut mango vodka. One fateful night at the age of 16, I asked my brother to buy me alcohol. He ran out of time to go buy it, so he gave me what he had left in his room - one disgusting litre of mango-flavoured hell. Drinking culture in New Zealand is something frequently discussed, it’s obviously an important thing to highlight because it causes harm to a lot of individuals and communities. HOWEVER, I’m not going to get into that in this piece, instead I’m going to retell some stories that have caused people some proper good Never Have I Ever stories. One of the most common perpetrators was the classic bottle of Scrumpy, I’ve fallen victim to both the raspberry and original flavour. My very first time getting drunk was off a toxic combination of both flavours, with two good friends of mine we drank until our heads felt funny and we suddenly felt like a walk on the beach. That was a pivotal time in my life, taking drunk Snapchat stories and feeling so special and different. From that point on it became my drink of choice, $9 a bottle plus the service fee my brother would pay for having to buy the alcohol. It was budget friendly and kind of gross but it did the trick. Then of course there was the famous Scrumpy hands, I never took part myself but we all know the idea. Tape one Scrumpy bottle to each hand and they can’t be taken off, and you can’t use the bathroom, until both are finished. It’s truly a sad indictment on New Zealand drinking culture but it’s also a pretty hilarious game. One night, my wallet was feeling light so I decided to pick up a bottle of the Scrump at New World. I took one sip of that and was immediately transported back to walking out of my mum's house for a ‘sleepover’ with two bottles of Scrumpy in my backpack. I decided it would be a fun idea to talk to my mum about her experience with alcohol in the days of yore. Turns out, she was a huge tequila drinker in her late teens and twenties, shots, mixed drinks and cocktails, the whole nine yards. She drank so much of it when she was younger that she basically didn’t touch it for 20 years. That is until one fateful night, at my brother's 18th birthday when his giggly friends dared her to take tequila shots with them. What followed was a deeply confusing situation. Sixteen-yearold me watched from the side of the bar as my mum and dad, who had been separated for 10 years, threw back tequila shots. My mum describes the rest of that evening as “the night my legs stopped working”.
22 / Aronui
Caitlin, a former Massey student started her career off with a classic introduction to the world of alcohol - with vodka Cruisers and apple cider at a family event. From then she has experienced all the highs and lows of teen drinking in New Zealand, KGBs, Woodstocks and even a bit of beer. However, none of them have scarred her in the way one perpetrator has - Galliano. Galliano is a vanilla/herbal liqueur that has stopped Caitlin from being able to even look at a bottle of it without feeling ill. After breaking up with her boyfriend in first year, she came back to her place in a rage and noticed a bottle of Galliano that he’d left at her place. First of all, any man who drinks liqueur is a walking red flag, just drink something normal you freak. Apparently, this bottle was quite special to Mr Trash Man, so Caitlin decided to take it with her to a hall party that night. She passed it around to her friends, and then downed the rest of the bottle on her own. She doesn’t remember what happened after that, but still cringes at any vanilla flavoured alcohol. Scrumpy hands is obviously a stupid game, but what’s even stupider is Nitro hands. Same principle, but with two bottles of caffeinated vodka taped to your hands. Who would be stupid enough to take part in this? I’ll tell you who, our very own editor Mr Mason Tangatatai. Mason confessed to me that one night he did ‘Nitro hands’ and ended up getting so drunk he vomited on someone's dog, all by 9pm. I’m sure Mason will be apologising to miniature schnauzers everywhere in his next editorial. Mason has a diverse and interesting taste in alcohol, he brought dessert wine to a staff BYO and also tells me that he drinks Tui because it tastes like vegemite. We should call for his resignation immediately. Before I end this nostalgic look back on teenage binge drinking, I’d also like to give an honourable mention to a drink that was mentioned frequently on my highly sophisticated Instagram story poll. Smirnoff Ice was one devilish product that people reported as being the first instance of taking it too far. It’s almost sad that we can’t consume these convenient, delicious vessels to get drunk anymore because we are reminded of that one time we drank a box of them and vomited at a bus stop (just me?). There’s no lesson to this piece, except that maybe we should go back to our roots. It could be a fun experiment/party idea to be only allowed to get drunk on the first thing you ever ruined yourself on. I think maybe I have a pretty twisted idea of fun, but it’s definitely worth thinking about.
Drink responsibly this weekend, and don’t vomit on anyone's dog. 23 / Aronui
Mason Tangatatai (he/him)
Wine was,
Photography by Amelia Radley
class is made of “symbolic goods, especially those regarded as the attributes of excellence”. The things worth having, so to speak, are chosen and determined by those of the elite class, who thereby ensure their “cultural capital” is distinctive and exclusive. Wine, as to itself, is a marker of class and classism, and in true Bourdieuian style, a separation of the classes. Take, for instance, the act of wine tasting. Participation alone requires a certain entry level of skill and knowledge, along with sociality and the ability to converse in terms which enable a high level of discourse. As such, even among the elite, wine takes a certain level of skill and learning to be able to master. In simple, non Bourdieuian style, wine is fancier and more complex than other forms of alcohol, therefore parts of its drinking culture are inaccessible for your average joe.
and still is,
classist
Going out for a drink this weekend? Care about what people think about you? If you answered yes to both of these questions (which I know you did), keep your distance from the golden beverage we know and love. Those who drink beer have been condemned as pissheads, drunks, slobs - the list goes on. But, for those choosing to indulge in the “classier” alternative that is wine, they are getting away with nothing but a sore head.
Society has told us to shame people from drinking beer (and bourbon-based RTDs), but why do wine drinkers get off scot-free? To answer this question we have to rewind and take a look back at the origins of wine. The answers probably won't shock you. The consumption of wine dates back to 6000 BC. Since then, it has long been held as one of the world’s most important commodities. It holds significant societal, cultural, commercial, symbolic, and aesthetic value of note. Poets and scholars alike write odes to it, and a love song would not be complete without a passing nod to this favoured beverage. It is an elitist commodity, and yet at the same time, consumed and enjoyed at all levels. If it were up to me, Tui would hold this space. But unfortunately, it’s not up to me, and I get roasted constantly for drinking Tui. Last night watching Tik Tok I learnt that Lords and all the other royal peeps drank wine for an unexpected reason. Apparently back in the rā, wine tasted like shit. There were no fancy wineries or flavour notes, instead wine was similar to today’s vodka, highly alcoholic and innately sterile. Because of its high alcohol percentage, wine was the only safe beverage to consume. Everything else, beer included, was ladened with disease and bacteria. Wine acted like an antibacterial mouthwash and was reserved for the classiest of people. Wine is a classist act, and the first place to look to ‘prove’ this is to French sociologist Pierre Bourdieu. Bourdieu, in his book Distinction, theorises that each class teaches aesthetic approach to their young, passing along the dictates of the class to a new generation and ensuring a system of classism is maintained. This fractionalization of
“I never drink wine because I don’t feel fancy enough,” says James, a second-year Massey student. “The crazy thing is, there’s nothing fancy about an $11 bottle of wine… if anything, it’s more trashy than any $25 box of beer.” “It sucks to be put in a box when we all have the common goal of getting trashed.” James makes an interesting point, and one that proves that wine's elitist status has somehow trickled down into our drinking culture today. It’s got nothing to do with the complex tastes, or makeups of wine anymore, it’s purely a subconscious status thing. On a surface level it is completely fine for someone's mother to finish a whole bottle of red over dinner. Or for the chica’s to slam a Chardonnay at Red Mount. And while I don’t condone shaming people for drinking, this energy needs to be consistent with all types of alcohol. “Students' are going to get drunk, that's the nature of university. It would be cool to see a more inclusive drinking culture where you can drink what you want and not be judged,” says Caitlin, a third-year Massey student. “Wine snobs are few and far between at our age, but when you meet one it really dampens the mood. You can feel those beady eye’s peering into your class, judging what you are drinking.” Wine and its classist roots has created a culture that effectively looks down upon those who consume other forms of alcohol, even though wine is one of the easiest beverages to get drunk off of. “It’s human nature to complain when you’re treated one way, and someone doing effectively the same thing isn’t treated the same. That’s part of the reason I hate wine drinkers, snobs, the lot of them.” Too true, Caitlin, too true. Next time you’re out for a drink with your mates. Don’t be afraid to choose your drink of choice. Stick your middle finger up and say “fuck the bourgeoisie” because wine is classist and it probably will be for generations to come.
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26 / Aronui
An insight Into the Cannabis Referendum Lily Petrovich (she/they)
Illustrated by Kimi Moana Whiting
We all had strong feelings towards the cannabis referendum in 2020. So strong that the bill failed to pass by 0.7 per cent. So, what’s the story here? Why is it illegal? Why is it controversial? Like with most political debates, it really comes down to classism, racism and diplomacy. Well before going into it I’d like to insert a little piece of information to keep at the back of your head: In 2021 Otago University did a study on voters' choices in the referendum. An indicator that someone would vote in favour of the bill was that they actually read it. Anyway, let's rewind time a bit. In the 1920s, Harry Anslinger found himself in charge of the United States’ Department of Prohibition. Now, this was when alcohol was illegal, so as you can imagine Anslinger was super busy. Once the ban was inevitably lifted, mans had very little do.
Once your pre-frontal cortex has done its time developing, cigarettes and alcohol (which are very legal) are significantly more harmful. No one has ever died from real weed. Alcohol kills between 600 and 1000 people each year, while smoking kills around 5000. Yet these are the substances we can buy at the supermarket. In 1988 Francis Young, the DEA Chief Administrative Law Judge even went as far as to state that, “In strict medical terms marijuana is far safer than many foods we commonly consume… Marijuana in its natural form is one of the safest therapeutically active substances known to man.”
So, will the referendum make a comeback?
So, he began looking into the devil’s lettuce, which he’d previously described as harmless. Anslinger sent letters to 30 different scientists inquiring about banning weed. 29 of the scientists wrote back saying it would be a waste of resources because the drug wasn't considered harmful. But one of the scientists wrote back in strong support of a ban. This was the man Anslinger presented to the world as he began campaigning against marijuana. Racial and class tensions were growing at the time and weed use was common among working classes, Black Americans and Mexicans. This was of course really the fuel to the fire of this debate, one article from the 1930s read, “I wish I could show you what a small marijuana cigarette can do to one of our degenerate Spanish-speaking residents.” Stories of violence and weed use flooded the news, some of these stoned murderers ended up showing no traces of weed in their systems but this detail never made it into the conversation.
No one knows. Regardless of the narrow margins between voters, the topic pretty much fell off the news’ agenda. Apparently 0.7 per cent is significant enough to drop the bill. Can we really consider this democracy though? I mean think about it, if actually reading the bill was a sign someone would support the bill, how much does that say about all of the misinformation around the campaign? It’s no secret that fearmongering was a go-to when debating the bill, but if voters were actually taught about the bill how different would the outcome be? We’re all familiar with Ardern hiding her support for the bill, do we think a display of support could have changed the outcome? We can, however, continue fighting for legalisation or at least decriminalisation. As time goes on older generations pass and more youth grow old enough to vote, really in a couple years the majority of adults in Aotearoa will hopefully have shifted to support the bill. Hopefully we will see the impacts of legalisation or decriminalisation overseas and soon bring the topic back to parliament.
Eventually the US banned weed, shortly followed by the UK and of course the rest of the world. Since then, the criminalisation of marijuana has cost millions of dollars in government resources to fight the use of this largely harmless drug. Really the only harms associated with marijuana are in those under 25. Marijuana can “make changes to the brain’s structure (including size and how areas are connected), lower the quality of brain interconnections and cause less blood flow to parts of the brain” when used by adolescents. However, by legalising marijuana, teenagers’ access to marijuana will begin to decrease, dealers aren’t going to ID their customers, but a legal supplier ABOSLUTELY will. 27 / Aronui
worst of the worst
movie reviews Every week I’ll be watching the worst rated movies on Rotten Tomatoes so you don’t have to. I’ll be doing one every week until the final issue where I’ll review the worst movie ever made (according to a random article I found). What are my qualifications you ask? I took Introduction to Media Studies in my first year and got a B average, so I think I know what I’m talking about. I’m going to watch each of these movies and decide whether it is rightfully on the worst movies of all-time list, based on my expert opinion.
This week I’m reviewing 3 Strikes from my birth year, 2000 It’s one of the few comedies that’s appeared at the top of the worst ever movies list. It’s directed by someone I’ve never heard of - DJ Pooh. Turns out he was a creative director for GTA online, and also produced music for Snoop Dogg and Tupac. Those are all very good claims to fame, this movie 3 Strikes is definitely not. The problem with this movie is that it’s a comedy that just isn’t funny. The plot had a lot of promise, it’s based on the California three strikes rule, where three serious convictions result in a life sentence for the offender. The main character, Rob, is hoping to get his life straight but gets tangled in a situation that could potentially put him in danger of a third strike.
Elena McIntyre-Reet (she/her)
As I mentioned before, it’s got a lot of potential for some comedy gold, while also painting a horrifying picture on the US judicial system. It doesn’t do either of those things though, instead it kind of stumbles through what could be a pretty decent plot without really making any memorable jokes. The whole time you kind of feel like it’s warming up to be funny and then it doesn’t happen. I imagine it’s probably what sex with a man feels like, slowly building up to something deeply unsatisfying in the end. Despite the general slowness of what was meant to be a comedy, the characters aren’t awful. You get to know them reasonably well and you do end up kind of caring about what happens to them. It’s just disappointing that the script and plot lets them down a bit. I didn’t not enjoy it, it just felt like they could have done so much more. I’ll say what they say on house flipping shows - it had good bones. Overall, I think it does deserve to be on the worst movie list, and I give it a 2 out of 5 - 5 being the worst movie ever.
28 28 / / RangitRangitiak iak
SEXCAPADES
Catfish taste bad Right, let's cut to the chase! Every gal loves a onenight stand, am I right? It's 2022 for god sake, who can be bothered with the whole ‘feelings’ thing. Not me, I’m more of a find a hot guy in town, slide in the dm’s of semi famous people to get laid type. But, this time was different. This was my first time never seeing the dude before he rocked up to the crib to fuck. Exhilarating right? I had been passed on this guy's number from my mate. He had been described as a 6ft Italian stallion. Needless to say, I was excited and indescribably horny. Anyways, I receive the up to text a little earlier than expected. Instead of the classic 2am, he had messaged me at 10pm, before I had started drinking. After feeling abit miffed by the whole process I decided a pre-town fuck would do me well. I hear a faint knock at the door and quickly rush to let in my knight-in-shining-armour. But to my horror, I’m met with a small, Mario looking man. At this moment in time, I’m convinced my friend had set me up, duped me into a situation I wasn’t prepared for. She
was having pre’s in the room next door, so instead of turning the manchild away, I pulled a big middle finger at my friend and dragged Mario up the stairs. I’m not one for all the pleasantries of casual sex, but this man doesn’t even stop to say hello. Instead he smiles intenself into my soul, and begins undressing his size 6 clothing. You probably guessed it, but we start having the worst sex you can dream of, and part way through he goes “is this working from you?”, like c’mon mate, surely you can through my lack of noise that I can’t feel a thing. After a solid 4 minutes of meek movement we stop and he lies next to me with a pathetic look in his eye. Finally I pluck the courage to tell him to leave before I get ready to head out to town. Three hours later I end up back at my house with a new man who satisfies my unquenched thirst. Safe to say that the best tactic is the one you’re practiced in. Don’t break what isn’t fixed, unless you want to be let down.
29 / Rangitaki
Confessions of... A weed smoker who turned out fine.
My journey with weed dates back to when I was 15. I was introduced by my family, it wasn’t a taboo subject and I was quickly taught that something being illegal doesn’t make it inherently bad. My uncle was a big-time dope grower in the middle of the Wairarapa, and being family, he was a trustworthy dude to introduce me to the pleasures and pitfalls of cannabis. Class was in session, and this was total-immersion education. We skipped entry-level joint rolling in favour of a whopping great bong. Etiquette dictated that if you could fill it with smoke, you had to drain it. As a young adult I was taken to the bush to check his patches, instilling in me the value of knowing your source. He strode through the undergrowth, proudly. Emerging into a clearing, I locked eyes on “the motherland”. Possibly a 5-by-5 patch of dense, aromatic plants in all their glory. After excelling in school and getting into university, uncle supplied me with pot to sell, like a side hustle. A tinny here, a fid there, mostly to fellow students every bit as diligent as me. I didn’t think of my actions as criminal. I was paying for my education while providing a social service. If I didn’t sell it, someone else would. In my disgusting first year flat, I habitually got high on my own supply, incinerating pea-sized balls of oily bud in a mini L&P bottle. Boy, did it burn, that thick, hot smoke. My poor lungs paid the price for that one. One night I got busted by the police, smoking a blunt out back at the club. I flicked it into the gutter, but not quickly enough. “What was that mate?” the officer asked.
Confesions of a is an anonymous column that looks o t unearth viewpoints o fr m unique individuals at Masey Uneiv .sitry Each ew ek ew wil egiv the spotligh o t someone new, so If o y u think o y eu’v got an inet er sting o st ry o t et l, please get in o t uch with d E o it r@maesiv magazine.og.n r z 30 / Rangitaik
“Marijuana,” I replied. Disarmed by my honesty, the officer questioned me briefly before returning to his car to check my identity. I stood waiting worryingly. Ten minutes later he emerged looking very nonchalant about the situation. He told me to hand over what was left and then got on with his day. I assumed this wasn’t his first rodeo, and I also assumed he didn’t think smoking weed, when everyone else was blindly drunk was a big deal. My flatmate and I smoked pot nearly every day of our final year at Massey. We studied at the Palmy campus and both graduated with A-grade averages. Fast forward to today and we are both successful yo-pro’s thriving in our chosen fields. Marijuana has been a constant companion throughout my life. It hasn’t taken away my brain cells, all it has is shorted me is a few bucks. It’s possible to be high functioning while regularly getting high. I’ve picked pot as my poison and pretty much stuck with it, obtaining it from trustworthy sources. My use is moderate, mostly in the company of friends and family. Over the years, most people have accepted my habit, endorsed it even. Don’t try and place weed smokers in the pothead, stoner stereotype. That’s one of the reasons it didn’t get legalised...
Te Reo and NZSL Words of the week Revitalising Te Reo Māori and NZSL is of paramount importance. Take a few minutes out of your dat to learn and memorise these words.
It’s the least we can do.
Noho tahi Share
Inu Drink
Pati Party
31 / Rangitaik
SOLICITED ADVICE
Solicited advice is a weekly column where an underqualified anonymous guru answers the questions you want answered. This won’t include the stock-standard, sugar-coated advice you’re used to hearing – we’re talking about the truths that are REALLY on your mind.
Is smoking (weed) overrated? Medicinally, totally underrated. Recreationally, after some thought, I'm gonna say yes, I do think smoking weed is overrated. Other forms of consumption I am neutral on at this point in time. Frankly, people (underweight white boys at uni) who worship weed are embarrassing. If you are waking and baking and playing shit music on your UE Boom (which I maintain is a gift that people buy you when they don't know anything about you), like my flatmate used to do… you probably have a problem. Smoking weed is not a personality trait, babe.
Best drug? The best drug meets the following criteria: • You take it with informed consent. • You know what's in it. • You know where it's from. • You know any possible risks. • You taking it has no impact on the people around you. • You know where the money you buy it with is going. • You know that everyone in the supply chain gets fair pay and isn’t under any pressure.
Is mixing ever a good time? Depends on your definition of a good time, I guess. As for the remix to ignition, hot and fresh out the kitchen. Death to R Kelly. If I hear that song playing, I can and will message the host/bar and tell them they support violence towards women. Furthermore, mixing (DJ wise) at parties is always shit and embarrassing. I don't care if you bought decks over lockdown… Do you have a question you’re dying to have answered? DM Massive Magazine on Instagram and look out for next week’s issue. Also, follow us while you’re at it x 32 / iRangtk
GIVE GIVEAWAY! My name is Noah Tucker hence the name ‘tuck’ I am an artist based in Wellington pursuing digital illustration and tattoo. I have a studio space with all my mates called @windyworkshops which gives us the freedom to create and pursue our passions. Was awesome to work on this design and good luck to the winner !!
@tucktheillustrator
HOW TO WIN 1. Be following Massive Magazine and Tuck's Instagram page! 2. Message Massive's Instagram saying "Pick me". IT'S THAT EASY! Winner will be announced May 23rd.
Hilma Af Klint Competition Winner - Shannon Knight
33 / Aronui
Amelia Radley
Horoscopes Capricorn
Babe, we are all SO proud of your fitness lifestyle. But your flatmates told me that if you bring it up during pres one more time you’ll be kicked out.
Drink of the week: Pre-workout and vodka.
Aquarius
Try getting ready for the night a bit earlier this week, Aquarius. It will take the pressure off and mean you’re less likely to play catch up only to fuck out first. Drink of the week: Piña colada
CKnow ancer your limits. Your mates can only put up with so many deep convos when you’re on the piss. Try to have some fun, Cancer!
Drink of the week: Frozen margarita
Leo
The world doesn’t revolve around you, Leo. Don’t hog the karaoke stage again like you did last time. It’s annoying. Drink of the week: Humble tea
Virgo
Pisces
The stars tell me you will be the main target of the coin game at the next BYO. Only fill your glass up halfway, to avoid getting tragic and embarrassing yourself in public. Drink of the week: $9 bottle of pinot gris
Aries
It’s always important to have a good referee during a beer pong match, but Aries, you need to relax a bit. Please don’t get your ruler out again this weekend. And stop screaming elbows. It’s not that deep. Drink of the week: Passionfruit Crusier
Taurus
It’s Taurus season, baby! Put on your sexiest outfit, grab your hottest friends, and go out on the town! Be warned, Taurus, birthday privileges only get you so far … don’t get tragic. Drink of the week: Espresso martini
Gemini
Be careful this week, Gemini. The stars are warning me that alcohol will have the same effect as a truth elixir for you. Try to keep your lips sealed when you drink. Drink of the week: Shot of tequila
Material girl! You have a tendency to buy all your mates drinks when you’re pissed and your wallet is not thriving – ease up. You know your mates are never gonna return the favour. Drink of the week: Lemon, lime and bitters with vodka
Libra
You’re getting way too in your head about which party to go to this weekend. Just chill out, go with the flow, and live in the moment. Both parties will be shit anyways. Drink of the week: Kingfisher
Scorpio
Scorpio you are glowing this week!! The dilfs and milfs will be attracted to you like a moth to a flame. Top tip: CBD, 6pm, boujeest bar you can find. That’s where the sugar daddies will be. Drink of the week: Bubbles (bought by an old rich dude)
Sagittarius DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX ON THE PISS. It’s been kind of cute in the past, but your ex has moved on! Their new flame will not take kindly to your ‘u up?’ messages. Drink of the week: Martini with a twist
34 / Rangitaki
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Across 2. 5. 8. 9. 11. 13. 16. 19. 21. 23. 24.
Hands on drink (7) The first country to legalise cannabis (7) The liquor Snoop Dog mixes with juice (3) Unintended consequences (4,7) Festival drug in NZ (4) Drug induced trance (12) Sings Colt 45 (Crazy Rap) (7) German wheat beer (6) Makes magical moments High as a _ (4) 7 is _ (7)
36 / raingtak
Down 1. 3. 4. 6. 7. 10. 12. 14. 15. 17. 18. 20. 22.
Slang for a 20 of weed (5) What vodka is made from (6) Te reo for alcohol (7) When alcohol and weed goes badly (8) Household item used to snort drugs off (3) Wine capital of NZ (10) Hangover, for drugs (8) How many bottles in a case of wine (6) Traditional pressie colour (4) Beer ingredient, jumpy (4) Legal drinking age in NZ (8) Water pipe to be shared with friends (6) To finish your beverage quickly (5)
Get Lost
37 / Rangitaki
TAUIRA, 18 HAUNGA, 19 SEVEN, 21 PASTE
LAST WEEKS CROSSWORD ANSWERS ACROSS: 3 THOMAS, 6 PINEAPPLE, 8 SOYBEANS, 13 JAKE, 14 PROCRASTINATING, 15 BRASH, 17 WHISPER, 20 JAN, 22 SPRING
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24 by 24 orthogonal maze
The target is to create as many words as possible from the letters within the Word Wheel.
Word Wheel
Sudoku
Fiona and Lizzo MAWSA
Hey team! We’ve had some amazing events lately, including Flow Week and Sex Week here at MAWSA!! We hoped you got amongst it and learnt some things along the way <3 Speaking of learning; it’s the mid-sem slump, so here’s some things to remember! Get some rest (even if it feels impossible to), stay on top of things by prioritizing important dates and finally don’t forget to reward yourself cause uni is hard and you’re a champ!
Jake asa
Kia ora Koutou tauira, Jake here! We launched our lecturer of the year voting this week and it’s been awesome to hear positive feedback about our lecturers and teachers from students, we have online voting for lecturer of the year on our website asa.ac.nz so please go to our website and let us know about your amazing Albany lecturer or tutor! Pink Shirt Day on Friday 20th of May gives us a chance to think and have a korero about ending bullying in our learning spaces, so please wear pink that day! As always, Do your recreational drug and drink safely, If in doubt, get your drugs checked for free @ www.drugfoundation.org.nz 38 / Rangitaki
DENT Marla musa
Kia ora koutou! I don’t know if you feel anything like me in that this semester is going by so quickly! A few more weeks and we’re in study week already! Ahhh… MUSA this week has just welcomed on through co-option, two new Board members: Atif Baig, our new Post Grad exec, and Emma Bower, our new Admin exec. We’re very happy to have them on board with us! From elections last half-semester as well we also have Ali Muhammad as Education exec and Izza Atif as International exec. Please don’t hesitate to get in touch with any of them, they’d be more than happy to chat to you.
By the time you read this the last of our 60th Birthday ‘60 days of Giveaways’ will be with the couriers. Since our 60th Birthday on March 1st, we have managed to pull off our biggest series of events yet. More than 100 prizes were awarded across a murder mystery night, interactive bingo, two quiz nights, movie watch parties, and more than 50 other individual competitions. We were absolutely blown away with how involved our students were. We would love to see you all again for some more events. In the meantime, you can check out our weekly events in our Facebook group or in our stream community.
Kelly M@D 39 / Rangitaki