Massive Magazine 2015 Volume 4 Issue 1

Page 1

No.1 / 2015

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2015


Contents

03: Editorial

35: Something in the Water

04: Letters

36: Student Life GIVE WAY

TAXI

TAXI

06: MASSIVE In Short

TAXI

ONE WAY

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ONE WAY

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ONE WAY

GIVE WAY

GIVE WAY

ONE WAY

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38: Our Love/ Hate Relationship with the Academy Awards

09: Albany local news 13: Wellington local news

40: Reviews

17: Manawatu local news

46: Travel

19: Gazing Through the Crystal Ball for the Class of 2015

48: Representative Chic 50: Ask Guru

21: Kingseat: Past, Present, and Paranormal

52: Uni Mum

25: New kid on the block: Uber and the taxi industry

53: Food Blog 55: Expressive Arts

29: Sean Kelly: Much Talent, Few Words

59: Puzzle Time

30: Photo Feature: Know Where

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37: Kickin’ it With Kora ONE WAY

TAXI

60: Contact us 1


Title

Author Here

Contributors

Feature

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Massive Magazine


same goes with MASSIVE. Everything from the articles to the illustrations and design work is created by current or past Massey students, and that’s something to be proud of. There is a ridiculous amount of talent here at Massey University, and it’s an honour to be able to showcase that. I want MASSIVE to be a platform for students to display their work to the world, and potentially get discovered - because who knows where the magazine might end up? If you’re keen to contribute, don’t be shy, and flick me an email (editor@massivemagazine.org.nz). Send us emails, questions, feedback, story ideas, chocolate - whatever you please (I’m a Whittakers chick, just so you know). You can interact with us on our new and improved website (massivemagazine.org.nz), email, Facebook, or Twitter. You could even win some funky prizes for doing so! In this bumper orientation issue, we interview fashion designer, Project Runway winner Sean Kelly, investigate app-based taxi service Uber, check out what the future has to offer for Massey grads, take a chilling look at the former Kingseat psychiatric hospital, get a little sporty yet alternative with a Freediving feature, and much more. Thanks for boarding our ship. I hope you enjoy the smooth sailing that is MASSIVE Magazine. Until next time, Kimmy K

Greetings one, greetings all! To returning students, welcome back! To newbies, Kia Ora, we are MASSIVE Magazine - your very own student media. We are here to represent the student voice, tackle issues that affect you, and at the same time, entertain you/ distract you from your studies. My name is Kim Parkinson and I am the captain of this ship. MASSIVE has sailed through some rough waters to get to where we are today. A particularly choppy period - we’re talking potential boat-sinking iceberg material - was when our funding from the university decreased, forcing us to go online-only in February, 2014. Although I would love to say we “broke the internet” like Kim Kardashian, this would be lying: here at MASSIVE we are all about truth, balance, and transparency. The truth is, we thought about you - the students. When I was a fresher, the magazine was entirely in print. I believe there’s something truly special about kickin’ it old-school and holding a hard copy, and I think you all deserve that same experience with MASSIVE. The fresh smell of the pages, the smooth feel of the paper as you glide your fingers across the page, and the fact that you can snuggle up in bed with your lava lamp on, and enjoy a quality read. Well, with the hard work of MAWSA Association Manager, James Collings, Shady’s back, back again! (by Shady, I mean the print edition). Wohoo! For those of you with a hard copy in your hot little hands: cuddle it, embrace it, treasure it, share it with your pals, pull out the party poppers and celebrate it! As if the resuscitation of print is not exciting enough, as well as the revamped website edition, we now have a MASSIVE Magazine app. The app is easy to use, looks slicker than Danny Zuko’s hair, and allows MASSIVE to be a lot more accessible to all New Zealanders. And because we love you, you can get all eight of our 2015 print editions - and the app – for free. The grooviest thing about MASSIVE is that it’s by students, for students. Apart from sushi, almost everything is better homemade, and the No. 1 / 2015

— Check out the back page for our full contact details and a list of our contributors!

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Editorial + Letters


Letters to the Editor

Editor’s note: Hello Masterton, and beyond! You’re in luck – we have just launched a Massive Magazine app. You can download it for free, and read each of the latest editions as they are released on campus.

It Ain’t Easy Doing Long D Yo Massive, It’s so sick to hear that you will be producing eight proper magazines this year! I actually live in Masterton, and study at Massey via distance learning. Although there are so many perks about living in Masterton (I hope you can hear the sarcasm through this email) the downfall is that I am not situated close to a Massey campus, meaning I won’t be able to pick up the latest edition when it’s released. I wanted to know how I would go about having a copy of the magazine delivered to me. As a distance student, it is hard enough to feel connected to the university, and I think that having a copy of the uni mag to read would make me feel a bit more in the loop. Sincerely, Out of it Seeking Competition Dear editor, It would be really cool to have more chances to win some awesome prizes this year – like the Gold Coast trip you gave away in 2013. I entered, and until the winner was announced, I dreamt about that holiday: the sun, the surf, the sand, the theme-parks, the foreign boys. It’s not that I’m bitter about not winning; I would just love the chance to win something similar. Sincerely, Prize whore

You Came Back When I heard that the print edition of MASSIVE was coming back, I was filled with all kinds of emotions. Let me tell you a story. I have a pretty face, blonde hair, perky bum, and a decent handful of breast. I try to stay modest, but when you get the amount of male attention I do, modesty is hard to keep. One night I was in the club getting tipsy, and yet another male came to grind all up on me, grabbing my bum, and cupping my breasts simultaneously. Luckily for me, he looked like Prince Charming, so after some classic white girl bumpin’ and grindin’, I suggested we head back to his. We went hard in the sack, and I was under the impression that he was absolutely lovin’ my lovin’. After he came, he told me he was just going to the bathroom. After patiently waiting for 20 minutes, I went into the bathroom to find the window wide open. I couldn’t believe I had been ditched like that. That same feeling of shock and anger filled me when I heard that MASSIVE would no longer be producing a print edition. The

Editorial + Letters

4

Massive Magazine


experience of betrayal with my ex-lover made me trust no one. It taught me to never hold on to hope, as I would more than likely be let down. I should’ve known you were bound to return though MASSIVE. Your return to print has made me believe in humanity again. I now have trust, faith, and hope. Sincerely, Trust issues Blank Space, Baby Dear editor, Something that I loved when MASSIVE was in print was the rad artwork on display. I used to pull the art from the magazine and stick it on my wall to give my room a decent piece of swagger slice. I believe the way your environment looks plays a big part in how people perceive you to be as a person. People visiting my room used to comment that I was “arty” and/or “cultural” when they saw some of the work that I’d decorated my room with. It’s been almost a year since your last print edition, and since then I haven’t managed to find any aesthetically pleasing artwork, that is free (I’m a povo student) to decorate my room with, meaning my walls are currently plain. I fear that because of these bare walls, people might perceive me as plain, or boring. I am fizzing for February 23, so I can spruce up the ol’ room, and start inviting people into my room again. Yours sincerely, Cultured poster boy Save the Planet – Online is Fine Dear editor, I understand there is a bit of hype surrounding the return of the print edition. I don’t mean to be the Grinch of the situation, but to be honest; I’m not completely thrilled about it. As an eco-warrior, who lives by candlelight, doesn’t own any aerosol, and believes cows should be destroyed, I was joyous when I heard MASSIVE was going online-only. I thought: wow, impressive – they’re not only keeping up with the digital age, but they’re also saving paper, and hence saving trees. But oh no, as they say “all good things must come to an end”. And sure enough you’re back, wrecking the lives of more innocent trees, just to print the exact same content that people could easily read on your website. So how about you stop thinking about the small gain for humanity, and start thinking about the unnecessary suffering of the environment. Sincerely, Trees have feelings too

No. 1 / 2015

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Everyone’s a winner! MASSIVE would love to hear from you. You can drop your letters into any students’ association office, or email them to editor@massivemagazine.org.nz . Alternatively, you could play Harry Potter: pretend the nearest bird you find is an owl, and ask it nicely to deliver your letter to us, down our imaginary chimney. Whatever method you choose, if your letter reaches us, and is published, you will win a bag of People’s coffee. To claim your prize, flick us an email.

Editorial + Letters


Massive in Short What’s ‘App’ening on Campus? The Massey University app has recently unveiled a new change, with the addition of an events page. The app, which is available for both Android and iOS, will now list upcoming events on campus under its ‘What’s On’ tab. Albany’s Acting Student Life Coordinator, Kristina Montgomerie hoped that the app would increase student engagement with events, adding that “we’re trying to get them [the students] to have more information about when it’s [the event] happening and where it’s happening.” She also hoped that the app would eventually hold information for all events on campus, including events run by Careers and each of the Students’ Associations. While there were future changes that Montgomerie was aware of, she said that they were “continuously updating [the app]... we listen to all feedback about it and take it into consideration for future updates.” She added that the addition of the events page had been “quite a big update...so this is what we’ve been focusing on and we’ll see if anything else comes up,” although they were “always trying to improve [the app].” While the updated app was available for Android users, those with iOS devices would have to wait a bit longer, as Apple had yet to confirm the update. Montgomerie said that they were hoping for the update to be available by the end of February, but that users would get a notification for the update as soon as Apple accepted it. As well as the ‘What’s on’ feature, there is also a timetabling feature , Massey key contacts, campus maps, and a live feed showing what computers are available in the library and computer labs on campus. Increase in Summer School Enrolments Summer school enrolments across all three of Massey’s campuses in 2014/2015 have increased from two years ago. According to James Gardiner, the communications director for Massey’s

Massive in Short

Julia Braybrook External Relations department, enrolments have increased by 13.6 percent from 2012. Gardiner said the rise in enrolments stemmed from effort on the university’s side in actively marketing and recruiting students for summer school. “In part, the increase may reflect the success of those campaigns and the good work being done by our recruiting staff.” He added that the rise could also be due to other reasons such as “the quality and relevance of the papers offered and the growing reputation of Massey University in Auckland particularly, but also nationally and internationally.” The majority of students enrolled in summer school were returning or existing students, according to Gardiner, with a ratio of 90 percent domestic and 10 percent international. While last year’s summer school was promoted heavily through external advertising, Gardiner said that “the scale of the campaign was the same” for summer school in both 2013 and 2014, “there is always some change in emphasis to different mediums to continue to appeal to our target audiences as trends and preferences change over time.” For the 2014 summer school, the advertising campaign included student networked computers, posters on campus and in lecture theatres, radio advertising, and street posters and stickers. When asked why students should enrol for summer school, Gardiner said that it provided an “opportunity to either complete a qualification, or get a head-start on one.” “It also often suits those who have other time commitments during the rest of the academic year, such as work, sport or cultural activities.” With another year of Summer School complete, these signs show, the numbers in the future are only set to rise. New Erections on Campus As students return to university this year, they may notice a new addition to their campus. Heritage sculptures were unveiled at all three Massey University campuses in

6

December, 2014, to commemorate the 50th anniversary of becoming a university. Massey Vice-Chancellor, Steve Maharey, says the sculptures were a permanent reminder of Massey’s 50th year. The first to be unveiled was Albany’s sculpture: a giant chicken wing called The Golden Promise, created by Reuben Paterson. Paterson used the metaphor of a wing symbolising protection and nurturing offered by the university to students at the Albany campus – which was previously the site of chicken farming. “This work especially refers to – and celebrates – the development of the university from its beginnings as an agricultural college, into what it has aspired to become over the course of its own history – and just as the university has transformed and grown over this time, so too has the pastoral land on which it is located at Albany,” he says. Professor Kerry Chamberlain, who chairs the visual arts committee at Albany, acknowledged the work, located inside the Quadrangle, may be controversial, but says a function of art is to intrigue and challenge. At the Wellington campus, Pasifika artist, Filipe Tohi, constructed an 8.5 metre tall welded aluminium sculpture titled Poutaha – meaning both a marker and a memorial. The work references the former role of the Wellington campus, which is said to have been a growing garden. Binary, a sculpture by Italian-born artist Chiara Corbelletto, was revealed on the Manawatu campus. Corbelletto says Binary was designed to represent the fundamental and biological science disciplines promoted and cultivated at the Manawatu campus. “I see this work having many layers of relevance to the disciplines that are studied and researched at the Manawatu campus, from life sciences to genetics and biotechnology.”

Massive Magazine


ASA

MUSA

MAWSA

Hello, my name is Byron Brooks and I am the 2015 Albany Students’ Association (ASA) President. I completed my four year Engineering degree last year and I’m studying a Masters of Engineering this year. I love spending time outdoors, doing activities such as kayaking and playing Ultimate Frisbee. I have a huge interest in photography, and enjoy travelling to new and exciting places. Auckland has been home for me for over twenty years and I have seen the Albany campus grow throughout that time. I love the diversity among the students which is found on this campus. There is a large international student and mature student population on campus, which brings a different and exciting dynamic to the Albany campus. This year I am looking forward to making the ASA more prominent on campus. Through the ASA, Students can expect help and advocacy for academic and welfare grievances. Our focus this year is to produce a lively atmosphere, creating a greater sense of community on campus. With the large number of clubs on campus, and events that the ASA will run this year, students will have plenty of opportunities to socialise and meet new people. Cheers, Byron Brooks president@asa.ac.nz

I’m Linsey! I’m 25, and nearly a Bachelor of Social Work graduate! I love tramping, baking, crochet, biking, and a good cup of tea. I’ve spent the past year as MUSA President and I’m excited to be back in the role as I get to hear your stories every day and address your important issues. I’m passionate about seeing communities work together to create change that benefits everybody. I love that our campus is a true cross-section of society, and I love how friendly we are to one another. We’re relaxed, but when we believe in something we’re willing to fight for it. Also there is an insane amount of green space on our campus. I’ve got some solid goals for the year and I believe they are something that students on our campus need. I want to work with the medical centre to ensure that students have a better experience which is responsive to the needs of students. I want to push for the Regional Council to make a bus service that works for students after 6pm. My team at MUSA and I are looking to hold more events on Wednesdays to keep everyone engaged during common break. I believe we can do more to make students feel safe, especially at night, on campus, and in their homes. Ultimately I need your feedback to do my job well, so if you see my face around and have something to discuss, please hit me up. Cheers, Linsey Higgins president@musa.org.nz

­­­­­ G’day, I’m Tom Pringle and I am your MAWSA Student President for 2015. I’m an industrial design student starting my third year, and I absolutely love what I do. I enjoy the outdoors, socialising, and having a good party… oh and keeping up to date with my studies. My role as student president is to be a voice for the students. I regularly sit in on campus board meetings and have a say in how things are run around here. I also help organise and run events for you guys. My goal is to make some positive changes regarding the student life on Massey’s Wellington campus. I aim to create more of a community feel and to get the much-needed campus vibe back. If you ever see me around feel free to come up and have a yarn. I’m not that scary – I’m just a student like you guys and I always enjoy meeting new people. If you have any feedback or if there is anything you want to see happening here at Massey, just let me know. I hope everyone has a cracker year, and I wish you all the best for your studies. I look forward to meeting some of you as the year goes on. Also, be sure to get your hands on some free sausages, as I will be cranking up the MAWSA barby at various times throughout the year to keep you guys sizzling. Cheers, Tom Pringle president@mawsa.org.nz

No. 1 / 2015

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Massive in Short


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Albany Local News ASA Business Model Looks to Future 2015 Albany Students’ Association (ASA) president, Byron Brooks, plans to keep the business model that was set in place by 2014 president, André Budel. In an email, Brooks – who won the election against Jonathan McDonald in a 95-46 vote – said he would be “keeping the model that has been put in place as it works well for the ASA.” Last year’s business model focused on strengthening the ASA’s relationships with both the university and student bar, The Ferguson. Brooks stated that he would be “making changes throughout the year to help the organisation, not only in the short time I am president, but for future presidents too.” Brooks said he was not sure how the new on-site student accommodation would affect this year’s business model. The accommodation, which is expected to be completed in February, will have 292 bedrooms. Of these, there will be 210 bedrooms in the halls of residence, 12 studio apartments, and 70 beds in 14 five-bedroom apartments. Of the accommodation, Brooks said “no doubt we will be busier, but whether we need an accommodation representative is yet to be seen.” The 2015 ASA executive team still has vacant positions, including the international students’ representative which became vacant after 2014 representative, Ashneel Prasad, was removed from his post in October, 2014.

Julia Braybrook When asked what he was hoping to achieve for the ASA in 2015, Brooks said he was “hoping to grow the ASA itself and start looking ahead by putting long term plans in place for the years to come.” No Change to Orientation Despite Resignation The resignation of Student Life Coordinator, Sarah Francis, will not disadvantage Albany students’ upcoming semester one orientation. Kristina Montgomerie, who is the Acting Student Life Coordinator until May 2015, said that nothing would change for orientation “because it’s already been decided and scheduled before I stepped into the role.” “Every year we try to improve our orientation, so this orientation is based on what’s already been put in place by [Sarah Francis] and others and I’m just trying to build on that and deliver that this semester.” Careers Consultant, Trish Fleetwood, also said that “certainly students would not be disadvantaged” in the coming orientation, adding that “we’re delighted to have Kristina on board...being able to see it with student eyes is quite a bonus, we’ll be able to offer more insight and that is what we’re valuing at the moment.” Fleetwood also acknowledged Francis’ “years of help” and said that they were “sorry to see you go, you’ve left it in good hands.” When asked about who would be stepping into the role of student life coordinator after May, Fleetwood said “this is just standard university procedure, basically it’s assessing the role...but rest assured

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there will be a student life coordinator, there will be orientation, and we will be doing our utmost to improve student life on campus.” Both Montgomerie and Fleetwood hoped that the new on-site accommodation would help build student life, with Montgomerie saying “we’re hoping to have a lot more student activity on campus.” Fleetwood added that if students live on campus they generally want to create their own community. “It’s exciting actually. We just see it unfold and build on it.” It was also hoped that the Albany Students’ Association and clubs would become more involved this year. According to Montgomerie, “what we’ve noticed in previous years is that the student life coordinator has been running the events more than coordinating the events...we’re working on getting the students more involved.” Fleetwood added that many of the events were “run in isolation” making it difficult for students to find information about on-campus events. ASA Plans Social Orientation “for Students, by Students” Social orientation is all set to go, according to 2015 Albany Students’ Association (ASA) President, Byron Brooks. Brooks said that this year the ASA had “partially taken over the running of social lunchtimes during Orientation Week”. “Students can expect some awesome attractions and events running throughout the week including a Carnival Day, Chinese Cultural Day, Clubs Day and more.” Social


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Albany Local News lunchtimes run from Monday February 23 to Wednesday February 25. In addition to social lunchtimes, Brooks said that events would also be held at The Ferguson Bar during the evening. These events included pub quizzes, the Albany Massey Engineering Student Society (AMESS) Traffic Light Party, and the Business Student Group (BSG) Amazing Race. Brooks encouraged students to attend social orientation as “there are going to be some awesome events and a chance to let loose and have fun during the first week of uni.” He said that this year’s orientation would be different from previous years, as it had been partially organised by students.” He hoped that “this student input will help generate a bit of buzz on campus as it has been organised for students, by students.” He added that “this year the ASA has taken on much more of the planning and organising side of Orientation” than in previous years, since Voluntary Student Membership (VSM) was introduced in 2012. He said that while “there have been hurdles getting back into the swing of it,” he thought that they had successfully worked through the challenges, adding “this will help us set things up for future orientations to be bigger and better.” Vanishing” Sculpture Unveiled for Albany’s 21st While Reuben Paterson’s, The Golden Promise, has garnered a lot of attention, a second sculpture has been unveiled at the Albany campus. The sculpture, Vaporous Sculptural Act, by Auckland artist, Dane Mitchell, was commissioned by the Visual Arts Committee to mark the 21st anniversary of the Auckland campus. According to Professor Kerry Carmichael, who chairs the committee, Mitchell was one of the shortlisted artists recommended to the committee by their professional art advisory panel. He was selected based on his previous work and the

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Julia Braybrook concept he presented to the committee. In an email, Mitchell said the sculpture, which is located near the Sir Neil Waters lecture theatre, “came out of a set of interests and concerns I have been working with in my practice for some time now”, adding that he “wanted the work to respond to the challenges of what it might mean to produce an outdoor, permanent and (somewhat) public work of art.” The sculpture, which uses vapour as the primary material, “complicates the expectation of permanent and monumentality – something often ascribed to permanent public works of art.” According to Mitchell, it is “in a state of change – at one moment the vapour is both present and ever vanishing – just as you see it, it dissipates and vanishes. “The vapour might also conjure up other images – perhaps reminding us of the precarious geothermal land of New Zealand, or perhaps a cinematic experience of a New York City sidewalk.” On the sculpture, representing the innovative nature of the Albany campus, Mitchell said that he felt the work embodied “an innovative approach to permanent/ public sculpture.” He added that Vaporous Sculptural Act was “representative of what I believe a university should be – supportive of intangibles, such as innovative thinking and research.” The sculpture, which was unveiled at the same time as The Golden Promise, has received little public attention, with Kerry Carmichael saying that the reaction had been “quite low key”. When asked whether he thought it had been overshadowed by Paterson’s piece, Carmichael said that “to some degree it has because The Golden Promise has been so much more controversial and yet [Dane Mitchell’s] work I think is conceptually more challenging in a range of ways...it’s a much quieter piece.”

Events Carnival Day: Monday 23.02.2015, 11:00—14:00 Student Central Sex Quiz: Monday 23.02.2015, 19:30 The Ferguson Bar Chinese Cultural Day: Tuesday 24.02.2015, 11:00—14:00 Student Central Outdoor Movie: The Lion King: Tuesday 24.02.2014, 19:30 Student Central Toastmasters Breakfast Meeting: Wednesday 25.02.2015, 07:15- 08:30 Student Lounge Clubs Day: Wednesday, 25.02.2015, 11:00—14:00 Student Central AMESS Traffic Light Party: Wednesday 25.02.2015, 20:00 The Ferguson Bar The Amazing Race: Thursday 26.02.2015, 17:00, Starts outside The Ferguson Bar Toastmasters Breakfast Meeting: Wednesday 04.03.2015, 07:15—08:30 Student Lounge Club Grant Closing Date: Sunday 08.03.2015, If you want to apply for a club grant, today is your last day to apply. Toastmasters Breakfast Meeting: Wednesday 11.03.2015, 07:15—08:30 Student Lounge Run the night: Friday 27.03.2015, Auckland Domain Keep an eye on the updated Massey University app to keep up with other events as they pop up.

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Wellington Local News Change of Designated smoking areas Wellington Campus Registrar, Deanna Riach, has announced a change to the designated smoking areas on campus. These changes will only be short term, as the university aims for a smoke free campus by the end of the year. The current designated smoking area, the tables on the north side outside of Tussock café, will now be smoke free. Riach says “this area does not meet the Massey Smoke Free Policy because it has been located where food is served or consumed and is close to building entrances and opening windows where smoke could blow into a workplace.” This will mean no smoking, including E cigarettes, anywhere at the tables, or on the grassy area outside the café. In addition, the smoking area outside the east entrance of Block 10 has been moved away from the entrance of the building to the grass on the far eastern side of the car parks. The three new designated smoking areas on campus are proposed to be: The gazebo near to the PACE buildings, Entrance A; the gazebo, just past the grassy area outside Tussock café; the grassy area by the trees beyond the east car park of Block 10 (Old Museum building). Riach says “smoking anywhere else on Massey property outside of these areas is not permitted, including private cars.” These changes might result in a drop of the number of Wellington High School kids who seem to think it’s cool to sit on OUR grass area and have a cigarette in their breaks between classes. Clubs Will be Trumps This Year 2015 looks to be an exciting year for clubs on Massey’s Wellington campus, with many changes being put in place to strengthen the campus’ clubs. These changes include some new faces around the MAWSA office to help out with the clubs. As well as this, Clubs Development Officer, Anna Hobman, says “there will be brand new processes put in place that will

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make becoming a club, running a club, and being part of a club easier.” The new sign-up process will collate all the information into an online database, so that it can be updated, and kept track of, all the time. People in clubs will also get regular clubs updates through email, and they’ll have the option of opting out so clubs numbers can be kept track of. There are currently 23 clubs on the Wellington campus. Hobman says that number is “probably going to grow to at least 28 by mid-semester and easily 30 by the end of the year – and they’ll be fully operational clubs”. To ensure the clubs don’t crumble, Hobman will be getting Massey staff involved with clubs this year. This will help when the leaders get busy around exam time, so hopefully the club stuff won’t get completely dropped off, like it has in the past. Hobman also hopes to get a Clubs’ Council up and running, where the clubs’ Executive can discuss what is and isn’t working and what they want. MAWSA offers a wide variety of clubs, some of which have combined into one super-club this year, such as the “Outdoor Recreation Club” which was formed when the surf, skate and tramping club joined forces. Hobman also discusses the COCA club which she says will rejuvenate this year and will essentially become an umbrella club for any fractions that want to split off from it, such as a Fine Arts Club. “It’ll be just a little bit like Divergent.” Hobman encourages everyone to join a club because “it’s a great way to meet people, do stuff you’re passionate about, learn new stuff, and it’s also like an instant group of friends.” She also encourages students to be a part of a clubs’ Executive, saying it’s the best thing you could possibly do for your CV. To get involved with clubs, email Anna Hobman at clubs@mawsa.org.nz.

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Community Focus for Orientation Wellington’s “new and improved” Orientation programme, running from February 16 – February 28 focuses on community and connection. Acting Student Life Co-ordinator, Hayley Schlup says “we felt we had a good core, but wanted to make it more connecting, and build more community on campus.” In order to achieve this objective, there will be a lot more on-campus events, such as the Fresher’s Party, Outdoor Movie Night, and live music. Schlup says they have also kept some “old faithfuls” such as the Student Panel, where students have the chance to ask members of the Student Executive anything they want to know about life at Massey. Massey @ Wellington Students’ Association (MAWSA) will also be running an on-campus event every day at lunchtime in the first week of the semester. While orientation is all about first years, MAWSA wants to focus on events that cater to all students. Events run by MAWSA are open to all students and also include discounted shows in town, such as Lunice, Drax Project, and more. In 2013, MAWSA collaborated with Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association to produce a two weeks orientation programme. MAWSA Association Manager, James Collings, says they didn’t have the resources to do the same this year. Collings says although this year’s orientation is smaller, the line-up is just as exciting, and students should attend the orientation events to meet new people, get among the campus vibe and have some fun. Students can just turn up to the oncampus events, but will need to book tickets for the events in town. Massey Guides Introduced Massey Guides will be introduced to the Wellington campus this year, with the aim of connecting people, and helping to build a community on campus.

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Wellington Local News The 15 guides will be heavily involved with Orientation, helping people to connect, and feel welcome – especially the first years. Acting Student Life Coordinator, Hayley Schlup, says the guides will be roaming around campus for the first week of the semester in bright green shirts, and encourages students to approach them and ask for help. Although there have been variations of Massey Guides in the past, in the form of student representatives, technically this is a pilot programme for the Wellington campus. The Albany and Manawatu campuses have a Massey Guides programme, so Schlup says “we are now consistent with other campuses, to make this a Massey wide thing, which we are starting up properly in order to continue the programme, hopefully forever.” As well as helping out with Orientation, the Massey Guides will be involved with other exciting events throughout the year, becoming familiar faces to Wellington students. They’ll be part of Graduation, Open Day, Semester Two Orientation, and other on-campus events. The Massey Guides, who represent all areas of study, have completed their training. Schlup says she is “stoked with the people we have” but that it would be “awesome to have more boys involved”. Nursing student, Rachel Peterson, applied to be a Massey Guide because she wanted to become more involved with the university. “I wanted to get more involved with leadership opportunities, and I also want to get to know the uni better.” She also looks forward to helping the new students settle in, because “I know what it’s like to be a fresher.” A fun opportunity that will look great on your CV, anyone interested in becoming a Massey Guide should email Hayley Schlup at H.J.Schlup@massey.ac.nz. Extreme Makeover: Library Edition The major project to redevelop Massey University’s Wellington Campus Library is almost complete. The two year process, which commenced

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in December 2013, was done in two stages. Stage one has seen the expansion of the footprint of Level B, the installation of a new lift, and a radical refurbishment of the old and new spaces. Stage two comprises the refurbishment of Level A, including the main library service point, and information commons, and the integration of the Centre for Teaching & Learning. Creative Arts & Industries Librarian, and temporary Building Project Manager, Craig Cherrie, was glad to see the commencement of the project in 2013, after about “ten years of agony” where repeated promises and plans of development were killed through financial restrictions. “We thought we were all good to go ahead, and then they [the university] spent all the money on Te Ara Hihiko, so we kind of had to wait in the queue,” Cherrie says. Athfield Architects – who have designed many libraries in New Zealand, including the City Library – worked with the team at the library to develop the layouts. Cherrie says the delay in construction gave them the opportunity to work together and think more in-depth about how students work in the 21st century. “The developments all serve to address 21st century teaching and learning requirements that demand physical spaces that facilitate collaborative, social, or even interdisciplinary learning, juxtaposed with a simultaneous need for individual, focused study,” Cherrie says. A defining characteristic of the Wellington campus is its focus on creativity, so there has been an emphasis on spaces to address the creative and collaborative needs of the College of Creative Arts students, while at the same time, ensuring students from other disciplines are provided with spaces that complement their learning preferences. Bold visual statements have been used inside to create areas that are both stimulating, and welcome to students. The project should be fully completed in time for the start of Semester One. Cherrie would like to thank the students for their “incredible tolerance” throughout the process.

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Events Giveaway day: Wednesday 25.02.2015, 11:00-14:00, Pyramid + Tussock Lunice: Wednesday 25.02.2015, 20:00, San Francisco Bath House TWRK: Thursday 26.02.2015, 22:00, Bettys Te Rakau performance: Friday 27.02.2015, 12:00, Pyramid Awesome Tapes from Africa: Friday 27.02.2015, 21:30, San Francisco Bath House Drax Project: Saturday, 28.02.2015, 21:00, San Francisco Bath House Clubs Day: Wednesday, 04.03.2015, 11:00—14:00, COCA Concourse Clubs Development Workshop: Wednesday 11.03.2015, 17:30—20:30, Student Common Room Keep an eye on the updated Massey University app to keep up with other events as they pop up.

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Manawatu Local News Campus Library Receives Upgrade While most of us have been enjoying our summer break from university, Massey’s Library, on the Manawatu campus has been undergoing a transformation – specifically in the circulation area. These changes will see “service pods” replace the old circulation desk, where staff were once behind the counter. The new circulation layout should be in place for the start of Semester One. Associate University Librarian, Heather Lamond, says the changes are part of a “staged process to bring staff down to level one” and to turn the circulation area into a “one stop shop, providing a single service point for students.” The goal of this change is to improve students’ independence while using the facilities. This new pod system will be more welcoming for students and other visitors and will see library staff become more mobile. When a customer has a query, library staff will be able to accompany them, helping them to resolve their enquiry or issue, as the self-service pods will free up their time. These changes are the first step in changes for the library, although Lamond

Liz Chandler says “these are probably the most significant changes that the library has experienced in the last 10 to 15 years.” The changes will be happening in chunks, with the next stage involving the move of the Information Commons from the second floor down to the ground-floor. Lamond says it was identified that a lot of students use the commons area, so it made sense to move that area down to ground level. However, the timing for the next stage is yet to be confirmed. Once that change is complete all customer queries will be answered from the ground floor service area, with expert assistance being called on as required. Lamond said that the library staff were grateful to Facilities Management for making the current changes both possible, and relatively low-stress.

Community Sense in Halls of Residence Each year, over 900 national and international students move onto the Palmerston North campus to live in one of the 20 halls and student units. One of the special parts of these forms of accommodation is the sense of community that is created. The halls and student units develop their own sense of community within each group. Manawatu Campus Registrar, Dr. Sandi Shillington, tsaid “we’re keen to build community [within each Hall]”. Orientation is a prime time for students within each community to build their own culture. With each FEBRUARY 21-28 student, the initial focus is on their study programme. F R E E E V E N TS PA I D E V E N TS But on top of that, a corpoG LO W PA RTY - R 1 8 TO GA PA RTY - R 1 8 rate culture is built within J U N G L E PA RTY - R 1 8 B E AC H PA RTY - R 1 8 CLUBS DAY - ALL AGES HYPNOTIST - ALL AGES each hall community. This is done through activities, PA I D E V E N TS $ 2 0 E AC H , O R B UY A such as crazy sports, and PA SS P O RT A N D S AV E $ 1 0 Relay for Life in which each A L L E V E N T PA SS P O RT - R 1 8 - $ 5 0 community works as a team. WWW.MUSA.ORG.NZ FOR MORE INFORMATION Having a community banner

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and T-shirt enhances this sense. Each year hall communities compete for house-like points, which culminate in a Golden Gumboot Dinner for the winning community. The campus’ halls of residence and student units offer up to 960 beds across the different communities. Occupancy of the different communities has remained stable over the years. A common misperception is that these communities are primarily for first-year students. However, Shillington says the different communities accommodate not only first-year students, but also mature national and international students, and also families. The oldest hall on the campus is McHardy Hall, which is located in the heart of the campus by the Refectory. This Hall was built in 1943 by the American Army. It is now part of the Turitea Community, with other halls, such as Kiwitea, Colombo and Matai. O-Week Then and Now To help with the adjustment to campus life, Orientation Week started on February 16 and goes through to February 28. Orientation Week is designed to introduce new people to the university environment, and to help them find their way around and fit in. Massey University Students’ Association (MUSA) general manager, Craig Black, says the week offers a good chance to meet new people, and not just in the halls. “It’s a great opportunity to experience some of the things that Palmy has to offer.” There are many exciting events planned for orientation this year, including: a beach party, toga party, hypnotist show, jungle party, and more. But orientation hasn’t always been around. When Massey’s predecessor - Massey Agricultural College - started, numbers of new students were too low to merit holding a formal orientation programme. By 1936, Massey was holding initiation ceremonies, which were the early forerunners of the current Orientation Week. The 1936 ceremony was accompanied by a concert which helped the “freshers” adapt to

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Manawatu Local News college life in an informal way. Some of the original initiation ceremonies, such as sending a group of first-year students to serenade a girls’ hostel in the city, continued through to the 70s. Events covered a wide range of social and cultural events , as well as discussions, forums and workshops. Some bands which were touring nationally through the New Zealand Arts Council also performed. There was such a wide range of activities that most people could’ve found something they enjoyed to take part in. There were films, themed dances were held with some of the themes being ‘Horror Hall’, ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Riches to Rags’. There was even a staged war on the cricket oval and a medieval sports day at the Lido Swimming Pool. Become a Sporty Spice This Year The New Year brings new opportunities for us to join a sports club while we are studying. Benefits of joining a sports club include leading a healthier lifestyle, having a welcome break from the study, attending some social functions and perhaps an occasional sporting achievement. Joining a sports club is a great way to meet people. Each club has its own social functions and team culture which you could get involved with. Sports clubs are affiliated to Massey University Students’ Association (MUSA). MUSA has a wide variety of sports clubs affiliated to it. These range between the more traditional sports, like netball, basketball, and football, through to the more niche sports, like handball, korfball, and mixed martial arts, just to name a few. These clubs are a mix of competitive and social teams. Where clubs fit on that competitive- social continuum really depends on club members and the size of the team that year. The Massey Soccer club even has a female team that is in the Central League and has made it to the national level in

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Liz Chandler competitions. The rugby club has around eight guys who play in the Manawatu Turbos for the ITM Cup. Sports clubs are really inclusive, catering to all levels. Whatever level you are at when you join one of the clubs, you will be with a team that meets your skill level. Check out: musa.org.nz/clubs/clubsdirectory, to see the full range of sports available and see what appeals to you. Then come along to the Clubs Day and have a look. Clubs Day is on Wednesday February 25 between 11am and 2pm on the Concourse. Shakespeare in Summer This year’s ‘Summer of Shakespeare’ production of King Lear involves participants drawn from within Massey University and the wider Manawatu region. The Palmerston North Community Arts Council, and Massey University have been operating a Visiting Artist Scheme since 2004. This scheme provides for three different artists to visit over the course of the year (one each semester) and be based at the School of English and Media Studies at Massey’s Palmerston North campus. For the third semester (Summer School) of each year, the visiting artist is a theatre director. This theatre director is responsible for the production of the annual Summer of Shakespeare production. Each year a different play from Shakespeare’s works is produced, and performed at different venues around Palmerston North. ‘King Lear’ which is being directed by visiting artist, Jaime Dörmer, is a tragedy about a king who descends into madness after disposing of his kingdom between his daughters. This production will be staged in The Esplanade on March 5, 6, and 7, 12, 13 and 14 at 7.30pm. There will be a matinee performance at 2pm on March 7. Entrance to each show is by koha. If you’d like to know more about the Summer of Shakespeare visit www.summershakespeare.org.nz.

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Free Events Jungle Party: Tuesday 24.02.2015, Prizes for best dressed, R18, The Barrel Clubs Day: Wednesday 25.02.2015, All ages, 11:00 – 14:00, Massey University Concourse Paid Events Hypnotist Show: Wednesday 25.02.2015, 20:00-22:00, All ages, $20 Beach Party: Thursday 26.02.2015, + DJ Nodz, R18, The Barrel, $20 Toga Party: Saturday 28.02.2015, Photobooth + DJ V.I.V, R18, $20, Or buy a Passport and save $10, All Event Passport, R18, $50, Tickets/ passport can be purchased from MUSA reception in the Student Centre Building. Ticket prices include buses from Massey University to the events and back. Clubs Development Workshop: Tuesday 03.03.2015, 18:30, MUSA Lounge, This is a workshop for people interested in starting a club/association/society, as well as for existing club members. There will be free pizzas and refreshments, information important for setting up and managing clubs, and people who can help and support fledgling and existing clubs with events, funding, and health and safety issues. Come for the pizza; go away with the chance of a $100 administration grant for affiliated clubs! For more information, contact Clubs Development Officer, Gunhild Litwin, at clubs@musa.org.nz Keep an eye on the updated Massey University app to keep up with other events as they pop up.

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Gazing Through the Crystal Ball for the Class of 2015 They have grown up in what is arguably the most studied generation. As part of the Millennial Generation, they have been dissected and categorised, to the point where their future has practically been predicted for them. But now that the first Class of 2015 are getting ready to graduate, how accurate are these predictions? What does the future really hold for New Zealand’s next batch of graduates? These graduates are obviously hoping that the three or so years of time and money that they spent at university will have paid off – especially in a workforce that’s still recovering from the Global Financial Crisis of 2008. The search for skilled workers has increased across the board, according to the latest Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment’s Jobs Online report, which saw online vacancies for skilled jobs increase by 0.6 per cent in September 2014. Vacancies in STEM-focused fields, such as IT and engineering, are reporting the highest increase in job vacancies. Graduates can also rest assured that it’s not just in New Zealand that the workforce is seeing more openings for graduates. A 2014 study from Michigan State University, which surveyed nearly 5700 companies, found that hiring of new graduates at all degree levels would increase by 16 per cent in 2014, and could increase by as much as 20 per cent A good sign for the next batch of graduates, seeing as the overall hiring increase for new graduates in 2013 was just 7 per cent. Phil Gardner, Director of Michigan State’s College Employment Research Institute, said on the university’s website that “employers are recruiting new college graduates at levels not seen since the dot-com frenzy of 19992000.” Likewise, The Guardian reported in October, 2014, that graduate vacancies in the United Kingdom “look set to pick up by 17 per cent this year, according to a poll by the Association of Graduate Recruiters.” However, even with this global increase in graduate vacancies, certain degrees still top the list. While hiring for communications and media graduates in the United States

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was predicted to jump by 51 per cent over last year, in New Zealand it remained a field where interest outweighed available jobs. According to the Graduate Longitudinal Study, which asked students from our eight New Zealand universities what areas they would seek employment in within the next two years, graduates were flocking towards education and training (21.9 per cent) and health care and medical (16 per cent). Both fields are areas with strong demand for skilled workers, according to Immigration New Zealand’s Long Term Skill Shortage List. However, despite the need for skilled workers within the engineering industry, interest remained low at 4.4. per cent. Trish Fleetwood, Careers Consultant at Massey University’s Albany campus, said that while STEM graduates were in demand, a good quality degree often came second to other factors. “It’s important to note that when graduate employers look at CVs and job applications, they most definitely are looking for a point of difference.” She went on to explain that this ‘point of difference’ was usually found when graduates had “extended themselves throughout their studies by taking on volunteering, paid work, or internships to gain experience,” as they gave graduates “vital skill requirements” for when they entered the workforce, as they “widen a person’s social connections and help to develop marketable personal qualities.” Along with these personal qualities, the vital skill requirements gained through internships or work experience were the top two most important attributes when it came to evaluating gradates for hire, according to The Atlantic. Luckily, as millennials entering the workforce in an uncertain economy, undertaking paid or unpaid work experience while studying is common. A 2011 Pew Research Centre study found that nearly 25 per cent of the young adults surveyed said they had taken an unpaid job to gain some work experience. While The Atlantic also reported that university majors,

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Julia Braybrook volunteer experience and extracurricular activities at university were taken into consideration, those graduates who took the ‘C’s get degrees’ approach could rest easy, as graduates’ grades came far down the list of important attributes. Even without work experience, however, unemployment as a whole is dropping. According to the Higher Education Careers Services Unit in the UK, unemployment among those who completed degrees in 2013 was 7.3 per cent, which was down from 8.5 per cent in 2012. This is also a trend in New Zealand, where despite the recession, the unemployment rate for those with a tertiary qualification in 2012 was 4.9 per cent, according to Statistics NZ. For those without any qualification, the unemployment rate was 10 per cent. While unemployment is a concern for new graduates, they are now more likely to be underemployed, rather than unemployed. Underemployment refers to graduates who are working in low-skilled jobs which typically don’t require a degree, or those who are unable to secure full-time hours. While there is currently no information on underemployment in New Zealand, the Office for National Statistics in the UK found that 47 per cent of recent graduates in 2013 were working in jobs which didn’t require a higher education qualification. The Federal Reserve Bank of New York, in the United States, found that 44 per cent of graduates were underemployed. However, the Federal Reserve Bank stated in their Current Issues newsletter that “during good and bad economic times, relatively high rates of unemployment and underemployment are not uncommon among college graduates just beginning their careers, and those rates can be expected to drop considerably by the time the graduates reach their late twenties. “Moreover, while it appears that the labour market has become more challenging for recent college graduates, it is much worse for young people who do not have a college degree.” Along with easing underemployment, graduates could also expect higher salaries

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compared to those without a bachelor’s degree. According to Statistics NZ, students with a bachelor’s degree earned 51 per cent more than those who had held only NCEA qualifications, and those who completed their degree earned 29 per cent more than those who didn’t. Moreover, those in the workforce aged 25 to 64 with a bachelor’s or higher degree could expect to earn above twice the median salary. Overseas, graduates could expect much the same, with The New York Times finding that the college premium (the difference in salaries between university graduates and college graduates) was about 83 per cent, up from 40 per cent thirty years ago. However, while graduates can look forward to higher salaries, housing affordability still remains a problem. Those looking to buy their first home soon after graduating may be out of luck, with The New Zealand Herald reporting that Auckland Council rating data showed house prices climbed 34 per cent on average over the last three years. Auckland is ranked as the ninth most expensive big city to live in, according to this year’s Demographia survey. The survey, which compared housing prices with incomes in 378 cities, found that while median household income sat at $75,100, house prices had risen to $613,000 in 2014, up from $561,700 in 2013. While this rise has meant that Auckland still remains slightly cheaper than London, those graduates who plan to live and work overseas can find more affordable housing in cities like Los Angeles, New York, and Brisbane. While first home buyers in Auckland have a challenge on their hands, those in other regions may have more luck, with national asking prices for properties increasing by only 3.9 per cent in 2014, compared to 8.7 per cent in 2013. Many regions are also more affordable than the national average, with Canterbury coming in at 5 per cent below, and Southland a whole 54 per cent below the national median. While it might not be great news for home buyers, New Zealand is entering the

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age of the renter. With house ownership hitting a new low since 1951, down to 63 per cent in 2013, the population is starting to follow the old adage of ‘those who cannot do, teach,’ although in this case, it’s more ‘those who cannot buy, rent.’ In 2013, just over 450,000 households were renting, an increase of about 60,000 households from 2006. While the numbers of those experiencing the traditional student flat, involving a bunch of unrelated flatmates living together, might not be high (only 9.3 per cent of renting households), those who are looking to move out of home or their flat are joining the new wave of one-person households, making up almost a quarter of those who chose to rent. Luckily, the housing market is starting to reflect this, with Auckland Council Chief Planning Officer, Dr Roger Blakeley, saying in the The New

Zealand Herald that these smaller household sizes “means we can expect more houses being built to reflect the smaller household units” with an “upsurge in the building of apartments.” If the comforts of home prove too strong to resist, graduates could always follow the latest trend overseas, which involves moving back in your parents after graduation. These ‘boomerang children’ are mainly doing so for financial reasons, and it’s a trend that’s starting to take off, increasing by almost 3 per cent since 2007. Whether it’s an uncertain economy or a housing market that’s currently off the rails, it’s clear that there are some hurdles lined up for the newest batch of graduates. But having made it through at least three years of university, it’s pretty clear that they’ll rise to the challenge.

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Kingseat: Past, Present, and Paranormal Glory Days Kingseat Hospital is a former psychiatric institution situated in South Auckland, and is considered the number one haunted spot in New Zealand. Since its opening in the early 1930s, and significantly more since its closure, Kingseat has been bathed in claims of apparitions, shadowy presences, and ghostly sightings, which have resulted in its inhabitation by businesses playing on its history. Walking through Kingseat now, it’s hard to see the hospital as anything but a slum-like, abandoned set from a horror movie, but for those who knew Kingseat in its prime, it was a place of enlightened, progressive mental health treatment for New Zealand, and the world. With grounds that span almost 59 hectares, one might be forgiven for thinking that Kingseat was simply a building that housed the insane. With almost 60 buildings including an on-site morgue and embalming room, swimming pool and tennis courts, Kingseat is a complete eerie compound, dominating the entire area in which it is situated. Several businesses have now staked their claim over the buildings and history of Kingseat, many successfully exploiting the unsettling feel of the place and its chilling history. These include Spookers; a haunted ‘scream’ park, and more recently Asylum Paintball. Among these hair-raising attractions are buildings used as private residences, and believe it or not, people who actually live in them. The amount of buildings present on the grounds is due to the ‘Villa System’ which was a popular design for hospitals at the time of Kingseat’s construction. This system was later instituted as a national policy for these kinds of facilities as it allowed people to be classified according to their age, gender, behaviour etc. and instated

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Taryn Dryfhout

boundaries and labels around what ‘kind’ of people inhabited each building. Modelled by the Scottish hospital of the same name, Kingseat was seen as a cutting edge facility in its time, hailed for its progressive treatment and management of mental health. At its prime, Kingseat had a patient count of around 1200 and with the absence of any mental health laws, the state could use any methods it saw fit to handle patient behaviour. Gory Days Anybody who has seen American Horror Story: Asylum will be familiar with the kinds of scenes that early 20th century asylums are associated with. As with other places of the same nature, rumours of abuse, mistreatment and malpractice abound whenever Kingseat is mentioned- but evidence about what really went down there is confusing at best. Reports of patients and staff going missing on the grounds are rife, and bodies are yet to be recovered to account for a lot of these disappearances. One source claims that Kingseat was a front-runner for unsolicited medical and surgical experimentation, including frontal lobotomies being carried out as late as the 1980s - a point firmly denied by representatives of the Counties Manakau District Health Board. Many methods were employed in an attempt to manage patient behaviour with what little drugs and procedures were available. Work programmes were utilised as a way of managing behaviour and filling in time. Those who were able were put to use producing meat, and managing laundering for other public hospitals in the wider Auckland area. While this was an efficient means of regulating people’s time and maintaining responsible behaviours, sometimes this

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was not enough. Those who were seen as a flight risk were often strapped together, cigarettes were employed as a means of bribery to those who were chained to the effects of nicotine, and of course ECT more commonly known as electroconvulsive therapy or ‘shock treatment’ was widely used at Kingseat as a way of handling patients with more severe cases of mental illness. Whilst anyone who has read The Bell Jar might find the idea of ECT horrific, Clinical Nurse Specialist, Wayne Hussey maintains that this kind of therapy is very effective, and has an excellent success rate. “It is still used today, particularly among the elderly and those who suffer from agitated depression. ECT is a safe and effective procedure which in itself does not produce any negative side effects.” Hundreds of legal proceedings have been filed relating to care given at Kingseat, as well as official complaints lodged from former patients and their families alleging neglect, cruelty, and even fatalities at the hands of the staff. Many of these cases have not been completely resolved including a case which was reopened in 2004 relating to the ambiguous death of an 11- year-old boy. The boy who was admitted to care at Kingseat was declared by the coroner to have died of pneumonia, but his brother tells a different story – claiming that he heard his brother suffer a fatal beating. Another popular account is that of the ‘Grey Nurse’ who was rumoured to have succumbed to suicide due to the overwhelming workload, and continues to walk the grounds to this day. Mr Hussey insists that while the hospital does have a ‘chequered history’ in all big facilities of this time abuse occurred, and Kingseat was no exception. Other awkward scenarios include having

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all patients disrobe and wait naked in the lobby for their turn to shower – a process which could take hours depending on how many were waiting. One of the biggest issues at stake revolves around what kinds of people were admitted to Kingseat. In a time where shame was socially crippling, families were not only offered the option of committing their children, but were encouraged to do so. This resulted in a large number of children and young people being committed into the care of Kingseat Hospital, because they presented with behaviour that was considered socially unacceptable, or had clinically diagnosed conditions for which facility based treatment was seen as essential. These conditions ranged from serious cases of depression and criminal insanity to attention deficit disorder, pregnancy and the most shameful of all - loose morals. With stories and reports coming from so many sources, it is hard to determine whether any genuine neglect or illtreatment went down at Kingseat. What is clear is that this hospital and its grounds have a very troubled past which has made it a target for further speculation and exploitation. Kingseat: After Dark If you thought the Playboy Mansion was the place to be in the 1970s, think again! For the nursing staff in the 1970s, Kingseat was a place of pumping parties and experimental LSD trials. Nurses were given board onsite (in the building which Spookers now occupies) for approximately $7 per week which included meals and a laundry service - undertaken by the patients who were allowed to engage in the work programme. For boarding nurses, including Mr Hussey, “Kingseat was a serene paradise where 70s society was

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condensed into a little community of friends and colleagues.” Mr Hussey and other past workers feel aggrieved at the way that Kingseat and its grounds are currently being used, and for this reason some even refuse to set foot there. With the advent of businesses such as Spookers and Asylum pinpointing a niche market and playing up the horror of Kingseat’s history, health professionals that had connections to Kingseat when it was a health facility feel that ventures such as these play a significant role in stigmatising mental health. For those that hold Kingseat close to their heart, marketing horror attractions at a place built to facilitate mental health treatment turns mental health into a form of entertainment, and is damaging the health sector’s efforts to overcome the discrimination and shame that is associated with mental illness. The Closing of a Landmark Kingseat’s triumph as a pinnacle of institutionalised mental health care came to an end on July 28, 1999 when the government closed its doors. In an effort to move mental health care away from hospitals and into smaller community care units, the last remaining patients were relocated off the compound and into a newly refurbished mental health unit located about 20 minutes away. Kingseat’s decision to close its doors emerged due to a variety of factors. The development of modern drugs in the 1950s and 60s revolutionised behaviour and illness control so radically, that facilities all over the world were rapidly becoming redundant, and New Zealand’s mental health sector underwent a complete re-organisation. The advent and accessibility of this new generation of medications meant that mental health all over the world

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was suddenly manageable outside of an asylum setting, and costly-to-runfacilities such as Kingseat were seen as a drain on public funding. In 1974 this prompted a government suspension on the expansion and development of psychiatric hospitals such as Kingseat, effectively phasing out institutionalised mental health care. With this moratorium in place, people with mental health disorders were no longer reliant on New Zealand’s major psychiatric hospitals, and groups such as IHC New Zealand set up residential services that enabled manageable patients to be dispersed back out into community settings. While this move away from managing mental health treatment inside the walls of an establishments like Kingseat resulted in better exposure and acceptance of mental health issues, Mr Hussey contends that community care is not a positive move for 100% of patients. “There are many people out there who would still benefit from an institution like this, who don’t do well on modern treatment or life in the outside world.” However, for those whose family members resided at Kingseat, its closure could not come swiftly enough. Seen as both a place of sanctuary and of sin, Kingseat has been hailed as an advanced prototype facility that delivered world class treatment for its time, as well as being feared as a place of horrific torture and torment for those who received treatment. It is this frightening and fickle history that sets the foundation for what has shaped Kingseat today. Look out for the next two installments: ‘Kingseat: Present’ and ‘Kingseat: Paranormal’ for more spinetingling details about New Zealand’s number one haunted location!

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Title

Author Here

GIVE WAY

TAXI

TAXI

ONE WAY TAXI

TAXI

ONE WAY

TAXI

TAXI

ONE WAY

TAXI

TAXI

TAXI

ONE WAY GIVE WAY

GIVE WAY

ONE WAY

TAXI

TAXI

TAXI

TAXI


New Kid on the Block: Uber and the Taxi Industry Along with PayWave, Google Glass and Airbnb, Uber has made its mark as the latest progeny of the digital age. Uber is an app-based transportation network, and taxi company. While marred by controversy in many of the 200 cities it operates in, one thing is clear: Uber is going all out in its bid to reinvent the taxi industry. But is it just the latest fad, or will the company’s goals eventually pay off? Our Uber driver certainly thinks so, saying that it’s “way cheaper than taking a taxi.” In our car (a Sails Taxis cab) which smells strongly of mintflavoured gum, Kris, our driver, asks us whether this is our first Uber ride, and gives us a promo code, giving us a free ride up to the value of $20. Since the 25 minute ride from Britomart to the North Shore would have cost us $48.66, our trip is essentially half price. Even full price, this is definitely cheaper than our Auckland Co-op taxi into the city, which cost $72.70 for a ride that took about the same time. Although it felt much like taking a regular taxi, it’s clear that Uber is definitely targeting a new and younger market, with its basis as a smartphone app and letting customers and drivers rate each other. While many taxi drivers are against the “new kid on the block”, others are getting in on the action. Kris drives for Uber when he has no customers for Sails Taxis. Considering that all the taxi ranks around our pick up location were packed with empty taxis and idle drivers, this extra work and income is clearly valuable. The app, which you use to request a ride, and pay via your mobile phone, is definitely an improvement for those used to calling a taxi or waving one down from the side of the road. As someone who goes out of their way to avoid making phone calls, I’m all for it. The app also has some very helpful features: It gives you an estimate of what your fare will be before you accept the ride, it lets you know who your driver No. 1 / 2015

Julia Braybrook

is and how they’ve been rated by customers, it tells you the model of the car and the number plate, you can see how far the driver is from your location, and you’re able to track the driver’s progress towards said location. While being able to track their progress is definitely a great feature, it was a bit confusing trying to figure out where the location actually was. Unlike taxis, which are clearly marked, we weren’t sure exactly what to look out for. Uber’s payment system causes no confusion and is far easier than paying for a regular taxi. Within seconds of arriving home, Uber had sent a receipt to my email showing the details of my trip and how much it cost. Unlike normal taxis that encourage cash payments, Uber payments are taken straight from your account, so there’s no need to worry about carrying a wad of cash around. Uber also has the advantage when it comes to arrival times. While Auckland Co-op Taxis says on its website that “our average taxi response is 6.5 minutes,” sending the next available taxi to us took about 12 minutes to arrive. In comparison, Uber took three minutes, which is definitely an incentive if you need a ride fast. However, even with the ease of use, Uber is experiencing some growing pains. While a recent email to Uber customers said “in the past six months, our teams in Australia & New Zealand have tripled in size,” the majority of Auckland’s Uber drivers are centred around the CBD. Our decision to take an Auckland Co-op Taxi into the city wasn’t so much a choice, as a necessity, seeing as there were no available Uber drivers around our location. While city dwellers can definitely benefit from this, it means that taxi companies still hold a monopoly when it comes to other areas, on the outskirts of cities. And while the same email said that Uber hoped to “double [in size] again this year,” it will remain to be seen 25

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where they will be expanding to. Furthermore, even with the promo code, I still wouldn’t count Uber as a necessarily cheaper alternative. While fares for both Auckland Co-op Taxis and Uber were cheaper than expected, this was probably due to using them during off-peak hours. At times when I would usually consider using a taxi, such as after a night out, I would be wary of Uber’s surge pricing which could, and has, pushed their prices way over the prices charged by other taxi companies. Surge pricing – where prices can double or triple based on customer demand – has most recently made headlines in New York City, after customers were charged fares up to US$350 on New Year’s Eve. On its website, Uber explains that “with surge pricing, Uber rates increase to get more cars on the road and ensure reliability during the busiest times.” And while customers are notified when it’s in effect, there’s technically no cap on how high surge prices can go. However, recently Uber agreed to cap surge pricing during emergencies and natural disasters, limiting fares to “the normal range of prices it charged in the preceding sixty days” and “excluding from the cap the three highest charges on different days during that period.” With almost anyone able to sign up to be an Uber driver, security concerns were also an issue. Our driver said that with Auckland Co-op Taxis “from a customer point of view, they are very secure, they know where they’re going...the people can trust the company.” He added that there were strict guidelines that taxi companies had to follow, including not having any cars in the fleet that were over three years old, and maintaining a logbook. With Uber, he said that there was “no control” and that “people are not secure,” citing a case in New Delhi last December, where an Uber driver sexually assaulted a passenger. The driver, who was later found to Feature

have had previous convictions, was suspended by Uber and the case led to a ban on Uber operating in New Delhi. He also added that unmarked cars within Uber’s fleet were a problem, saying that while he could recognise unmarked police cars, he had no way of knowing which cars were driving for Uber. Also, anyone can apply to be an Uber driver, just by Not knowing who your competition was another problem noted by our driver, who said that Uber “grab a lot of business from us.” Having worked for Auckland Co-op Taxis for eight years, and being a taxi driver for a total of 11 years, this loss of business was a problem when it came to the rising costs of the industry. “When I bought [the car] in 2007, it was $30,000, now it’s $115,000.” However, he acknowledged that the introduction of Uber into the market could lead to lower taxi fares, saying that “somehow it’s good,” and adding that it could work like mobile phone networks have. “It used to be just Telecom and Vodafone, then 2degrees came in and prices came down, so maybe something like this.” In a city (Auckland) where taxi fares rank 10th highest in the world, with a 2014 Deutsche Bank report showing an average eight kilometre journey cost $24.87, lowered fares were welcome. In this way, Uber is carving itself a niche in the market. The company – which “delivered 140 million rides in 2014, and grew six times in the process”, according to an email sent out to customers – aimed for Uber to “become an integral part of the transportation infrastructure of every city around the world.” Uber, which was founded in 2009 by Travis Kalanick in San Francisco, currently has two services operating in New Zealand – the highend, luxury UberBlack, and the more affordable UberX. Kalanick said in a 2014 article in Bloomberg Businessweek that “the taxi industry 26

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has been ripe for disruption for decades. But only technology has allowed it to really kick in.” On their blog, Uber also recently cited 2014 RAC report on the future of ridesharing in Western Australia, saying “innovation has largely come from people outside the taxi industry and has been prompted to a significant extent by the high cost and inefficient practices of the taxi industry.” So how does Uber plan on reinventing the taxi industry? While Uber spokeswoman for Australia and New Zealand, Katie Curric, did not return a request for interview about the future of Uber in New Zealand, New York based venture investor, Chris Dixon, has a few ideas about its role in general. Dixon, who wrote about Uber on his blog, said that Uber’s ability to change the status quo lies with “regulatory hacks.” These hacks are defined by Dixon as “‘back door’ experiments that demonstrate the benefits of their ideas,” when companies don’t have the resources to change regulations through political lobbying. Much like the introduction of 2degrees into the mobile phone network, Dixon said that while regulations protecting the public interest are necessary, “many regulations are created by incumbents to protect their market position.” “To try new things, entrepreneurs need to find a back door. And when they succeed, it will all look obvious in retrospect. Today’s regulatory hack is tomorrow’s mainstream industry.” In other words, Uber, which is currently worth more than US$40 billion, is definitely going to be a part of the taxi industry’s future. That future, according to Neil Irwin of The New York Times, is looking a lot more affordable for customers. Irwin writes that although the industry is going to get “brutally competitive”, it will mean that “the market for rides will be cheaper, with more availability of cars, than there has ever been before, which should make it easier No. 1 / 2015

to use these services for routine transportation.” This is clearly the goal of Uber founder, Travis Kalanick, who said in a 2014 article in The New York Times, that “if we can get the price of UberX low enough, we can get to where it’s cheaper to take Uber than to own a car.” Faced with the choice of Auckland’s notoriously unreliable public transport system or wasting petrol sitting in traffic, this concept might come as a welcome relief. And with its lower prices and smartphone based service, it’s definitely something that could appeal to cash-strapped students. For now, it remains to be seen where Uber’s future is headed. Although it only launched in its first city in 2011, Uber has now expanding globally at a breakneck pace, with a growth rate of about one new city per day. This exponential growth is clear that something is definitely up in the taxi industry. Regardless of whether it’s Uber leading the charge, or some other start-up taking the reins, you can be sure that the taxi industry as we know it is in for some changes on a huge scale.

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Sean Kelly: Much Talent, Few Words What did the course teach you? There is not a singular right answer. What did you like/hate about Wellington? Everything in the city is close, that’s what I really like about Wellington. I hate the weather. What did you do following graduation? I worked for the summer in Wellington, then I moved to New York. How did you come to be on Project Runway? Applied online. Got Selected. Had interviews.Ton of Paper work then made the Final cast. What was the competition like – any highlight/lowlight examples? Physically and emotionally it was hard. It challenges you as a designer to work outside your comfort zone 100% of the time. What was it like being a New Zealander in the competition? No comment What prizes/opportunities have you come across? Working with other artist and celebrities. What have you been up to since the competition? Freelancing, working on different projects. How has your life changed? No Comment What are your future plans? Keep designing. Do you plan on coming back to New Zealand any time soon? Not on the cards at this point Are you still in contact with your classmates? Yes, some almost daily. What would you say to aspiring fashion designers at Massey? Any tips for success? Intern as much as possible. Network as much as possible.

Project Runway season 13 winner, and Massey graduate, Sean Kelly, first started making patterns out of newspaper as a kid, living on a farm in South Taranaki. After completing an exchange to Denmark at age 18, he interned at Alexander McQueen in London, before coming home to complete a Bachelor of Design at Massey in Wellington. Majoring in fashion, he won the 2013 Design Excellence Award at Massey University. After graduation, Sean moved to New York and it was there, less than a year later, that he starred in, and won Project Runway. His prize pack included: $100,000 from Red Robin, to launch his business, a car from Lexus, and a spread in Marie Claire magazine. Sean’s cousin, Charlotte Hall, says Sean was always a perfectionist. As a kid he had been obsessed with the little soaps that hotels stock. “He had two whole shelves of the crap, all in meticulous order,” she says. Before long, his obsession switched to sewing. Charlotte believes Sean’s high standards were what set him apart from his other competitors on Project Runway. “He works at the standard of a Margiela couture show, but at Massey University,” she says. She also thinks his success comes down to the fact that he’s so driven, and very hard on himself, and others. Massive managed to hustle an interview* with Sean over the summer break. Could you provide a bit of background information about yourself? No. Research it. Why did you choose a career in fashion? Because I wanted to combine my interest in multiple disciplines. How did you come to study at Massey University? I researched design schools while living in Denmark, and had friends going to Massey. No. 1 / 2015

* For this article, MASSIVE decided to publish the exact correspondence with Sean Kelly for accuracy purposes.

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Know Where

Wara Bullot

of the areas I encounter I am captivated by otherwise banal ordinary places such as parking lots and factories. These places imperceptibly reflect the feelings of order and control arising from the standardisation of globalisation. Photography, as a medium, depicts representations of reality that can be implicit or explicit. Today, technological advancements and digitisation shifts the message of photographs – creating multiple layers of meaning, which cannot be decoded in isolation. I have used technology as a tool to create new visions of reconstructed ordinary landscapes as I try to make sense of them and extract them from their original context. These landscapes stimulate the combination of unrelated urban and suburban places, industrial and commercial spaces: a world that already exists in our everyday lives. It also reveals mixed desires, to simultaneously engage with and escape – or withdraw from – the built environment. The reconstruction of this intangible reality elucidates a significant shift in how I interpret my surroundings. These artificial simulations of reconstructed environments have resulted in me developing an urge to rediscover nature. In rediscovering nature, the tension between alienation from the natural world, and the social premises of the built environment is evident, confirming how humankind is somewhat separated from the natural world due to the commodification of land. Yet the photographs contain fragments of nature that are conditioned by human intervention, such as quarries and an artificial beach. These scenes resemble the state of everyday reality, as I know it. This body of work depicts an imagined future that reflects on humankind’s constant need to construct and colonise nature for our everyday purposes. The question this now raises is: will humankind’s ongoing influence on our future landscape be utopian or dystopian?

Welcome to our monthly showcase of Massey photographic talent. This month we explore Wara Bullot’s work, ‘Know Where’. If you want to see your photography in this space, please contact the editor. Wara Bullot is a photographer whose work encompasses the functionalities of our daily life. She often engages with architecture, landscapes, objects, and products we all see around us every day, in ways that may surprise and intrigue. Her current research involves an investigation into the contemporary relationship between the built environment and the natural landscape. She explores this by examining the transformations of the land through human activity. Wara uses both digital and film photography as tools to uncover the everyday moments that suffuse her work. In 2014, she completed her BDes (Hons) majoring in Photography at Massey University. Wara discusses the rationale behind her cleverly constructed body of work: Due to the ongoing global development and transformation of everyday constructed landscapes, I became interested in how the built environment is constantly evolving. While nature is the basis of human existence, the design and construction of the built environment determines how we interpret and, in turn, interact with our surroundings. The future of the complex and coexisting relationship between nature and our built environment is ambiguous and needs redefining. This has led me to explore how the transition of our built environment over time impacts the way we see and perceive our own surroundings, and consequently, the world. Each individual has their own perceptions of the world as a whole, which derive from their personal experiences. These perceptions relate to the representations of a place within the world. ‘Know Where’ is a photographic exploration based on my perception of my surroundings and a quest to unravel the uncertainty I have in the built environment. Through my daily observations Photo Feature

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Massive Magazine






Something in the Water “Surface protocol! Breathe, breathe, breathe! Mask, signal, what are you?” Blue-faced, with a confused yet strangely zen look, a diver has just surfaced and is embracing the edge of the pool. Their safety person is next to them, reminding them to do their surface protocol. A dozen pairs of eyes are fixed on the diver, as they do quick “hook breaths” and perform their protocol. “I’m okay.” A moment of silence falls while the judges make their decision. Eyes are locked as three white cards are presented. Applause breaks out as the dive is announced successful. The event is the 2014 Freediving National Championships, hosted by Wellington’s the “Lazy Seals Freediving Club”, a club founded by Palmerston North architect and current New Zealand freediving record holder Kathryn Nevatt. Kiwi freedivers are world record holders, yet this is not a large event. It could easily be mistaken for another training session, but divers here are competing hard in hope of breaking personal and perhaps even national or world records. Freediving entails holding one’s breath under water. It is a sport in which age and gender is irrelevant. It is an extreme sport in a sense, yet most of us have at some point in our lives been freediving – without thinking of it as a sport. Shelley Gurney, the jack-of-trades of the Lazy Seals, says she only started freediving competitively last year, but “really started freediving when I was five years old at home in the pool, seeing how long I could hold my breath for”. During a break, she looks with attentive eyes over the booked lanes and competitors. Some of the world’s best freedivers are here. Dave Mullins, Kathryn Nevatt, Guy Brew, Chris Marshall, and Phil Clayton have all pushed themselves to produce amazing results, which are recognised worldwide. And they are all New Zealanders! It’s a matter of wonder that so many talented divers come from the same spot. Gurney thinks it might be because “Kiwis have an inherent love of water, and being in water comes naturally.

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Kristine Zipfel “There’s a huge resilience in New Zealanders, which is probably why they have a really good affinity with freediving - a mental fortitude and discipline to keep going. I think that’s why it’s really special here.” During a pool competition, divers compete in three disciplines. Dynamics, which involves swimming lengths underwater, is divided into two styles. Dynamics with fins can be done with either a monofin (a mermaid-like type of joint fin) or a regular pair of long fins. No fins, which is argued by some to be the purest form of propulsion during a dive, is done barefoot. There is also statics, or static breath holding, in which the diver lies completely still, face submerged and simply endures the challenge. It’s a mind game, and you’ve got to stay strong. As the countdown starts for my very own no-fins dive I am fighting against a racing heart. It thumps loudly and I am taking deep breaths to calm myself down. I put on my mask and readjust myself to the middle of the lane. All eyes are on me. “...Five, four, three, two, one...” I take one last deep breath, kick off the wall and glide into the water. Everything is silent. I focus purely on motion. Long, relaxed arm strokes and kicks. Every movement has to be as energy efficient as possible. Faster than expected the wall approaches. 25 metres done and I tap the wall to claim one length, turn and kick off again. I can now clearly feel the increasing carbon dioxide levels in my body. This is the crucial moment. My body is telling me to abandon ship and get air. Contractions appear. It is as if my whole body is doing CPR chest compressions by itself. Yet I’m perfectly aware that there is plenty more oxygen left in my body to keep going. The wall appears again. I tap, turn and kick off. Two more strokes, my body is thumping from the lactic acid and I find myself surfacing after 56 metres. Surface protocol. Three white cards, and I am stoked

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to have beaten my last personal best by more than 20 metres. There are many things in freediving that hook people. Freediving world record holder, Nevatt, says she was never really a “team sport” type of person and found freediving at the “right time of her life”. After finishing her studies, it offered her a lot more than any previous sport had done. The relaxation, feeling of weightlessness, the idea of no limits, setting goals, competing against herself and surprising herself, gave her joy, she says. Ben Jeffares, Lazy Seals president and one of the three judges at the competition, says there are many reasons for the high standard of freedivers here. The proximity to the sea, he says, gives New Zealanders a level of water confidence, enabling them to be more relaxed in the water. Another reason could be simply having a no-fault staterun accident insurance system. “Getting insurance for freediving is very difficult in the United States. There is a hurdle there that gets in the way of just giving it a try.” A third reason is that because New Zealand is so small, there is the opportunity to meet and talk with the very best in the freediving community. “We also acknowledge that training is hard, that there is no easy route, and as a nation, we kind of embrace that ‘hard training’ ethic,” he says. And the results are stunning. Former world champion Guy Brew wins the competition and gains third place in the AIDA world rankings for male statics, after holding his breath for eight minutes and 15 seconds; Chris Marshall comes second with a 165 metre dynamics no fins; Kathryn Nevatt is third with solid performances in all three disciplines, including a seven minute, seven seconds static breath hold, 151 metre dynamics with no fins, and 162 metres with fins. As the weekend of the nationals comes to an end, there is nothing but delighted smiles, and generous pats on backs to be seen. And with so much talent and skill, concentrated in one spot, it is hard not to be inspired.

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The Letter to Better Myself This year I have the chance to start fresh. New Year, new me, you could say! I will rid myself of the toxic ways of my past. I will use the lessons I’ve learnt thus far to help me as I go forward. I will tackle this year head on, and come out on top. In fact I will absolutely dominate this year. I will be Christian Grey, and this year will be my submissive. I will show this year who’s the boss! I will become what‘s known as a ‘model student’. Bitches will bow down to me; lecturers will look up to me. This year, I will change for the better. This year, I will keep on top of my assignments. As soon as I am handed my class notes, I will analyse each assignment, highlight the key points, and set out a timeline for each assignment. By doing this I will avoid having to cram everything in last minute. Stress will be a foreign concept to me, along with all-nighters. I will be getting at least eight hours of sleep per night. This is the new me. I’ve heard that doing ten full push-ups is more effective at waking you up than coffee is. So yeah, you’ll be sure to see me working out, bright and early, every morning before class. No coffee required. I have big goals this year when it comes to my healthy lifestyle. After trawling through Instagram posts with the hashtag “fitspiration”, I’ve been inspired to not only work out daily, but to also clean up my diet. I will become a fruit market person, and will consume only the freshest produce. I will take on the ‘raw til’ four’ lifestyle. This means that all the food I consume before four will be raw. This lifestyle should lead to high energy levels, glowing skin, and an overall banging body. Fresher five? Not for me. Since I’ll be feeling fit, and have plenty of spare time, I’ll be able to achieve another

Student Life

goal: get more involved with the university. I’ve heard that getting involved with clubs is a great way to enhance your CV. So you guessed it, the new me will be joining a club’s executive, planning events, meeting new people, and becoming a real model citizen in society. Part of being a model citizen, involves being on your best behaviour at all times. In order to achieve this goal, I will cut back on the drinking, the smoking, and the toking. I will only drink once per month, and the only thing I’ll be smoking this year, will be my grades. In order to smoke my grades, I will ensure that I am punctual, and attend every lecture, workshop, and tutorial this year. I understand that each lecture is worth about $40, and aside from getting value out of my money, I have found that there is something just so valuable about attending the physical class. Copying notes off Stream, and staying in bed in the middle of winter, simply can’t compare to the value of an 8am lecture in real life with that captivating lecturer. This year I will put a huge focus on budgeting. I will spend my course costs on the textbooks I require, and will save the rest for emergency situations. I will write up a budget, and like chewing gum to a shoe, I will stick to it. I also want to explore more creative pursuits this year. I want to live up to Massey University’s name and “be innovative”. I also want to do more for the environment. I have many plans this year for a “new me”. I’m feeling inspired. The only obstacle is my mind – 2015, come at me! Two months later… It’s 2:30am. My body aches. I’m starting to see mystical creatures,

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and the hardest drug I have taken is No-Doz. I’m on my sixth coffee. My coffee contains sugar – an attempt to sweeten up this situation I’ve managed to get myself into. I must focus on the now… no, the future. And by the future, I mean the next 6.5 hours, which will take me to 9:00am, when my assignment is due. I would’ve started earlier, but I was too busy making up an excuse as to why I couldn’t attend the Clubs Development Workshop. I must not get distracted. Focus is key. I need peace and quiet…or a piece of pizza. Pizza is key. I order a pizza (still only $5 for a regular btw!!!) At least I’m doing well at living on a budget right? And healthy eating for that matter (my pizza is vegetarian, vegetables are healthy, go me!) As for my “raw til four” diet, well 4pm has passed honey, so I’m definitely still on track. I don’t mean to blow my own trumpet, but I also jogged to the door to receive my pizza #fitspiration. On that note, I have put on about 10kg since the start of the year. I’d hoped to become more innovative this year, and voila – I’ve invented a new phrase: “the fresher 10”. To be honest, the extra weight is most probably all muscle. I’ve lifted and poured many bottles of vodka and Coke Zero so far this year. Just in case you wondered, Coke Zero is sugar-free. To reiterate, I am a #fitspo. As far as the eco-warrior side of me goes, I never ended up ordering my lecture notes off Stream. I made the conscious decision not to do this, as I thought about the environment. By the looks of my classmates’ notes, I’d say I saved at least three trees by doing this. When it comes to saving the planet, every small bit counts. New year, new me – so far so good!

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Kickin’ it with Kora One of New Zealand’s most popular bands, Kora, return to stages this summer, with a performance at Homegrown among others. We spoke to bassist, Francis Kora, about the new line-up, the songwriting process, and what fans can expect from their live show. Originally made up of four brothers, 2013 saw Laughton and Brad Kora move on to personal projects, yet their replacements have a sense of family anyway, having been close to the band from the start. “The current line-up is made up of me, my youngest brother Stu, and Dan, who has been with us from the start, and then we’ve got two of the Heavy Metal Ninja Boys, Richie Allen, who used to be our sound-man, and Joe Brown was our drum tech and now he’s the drummer,” Francis explains. After several years in a variety of different groups, Kora originally came to wider attention due to an appearance on Space TV, the now defunct music show that was then running a music video competition. “People voted for who should get to make a video for their song, and ‘Politician’ was the result of that, and that was our first video, and things really started to fly after that,” Francis says. The band’s sound has been described as Alien Funk or perhaps more memorably as the lovechild of Fat Freddy’s Drop and Shihad, yet as Francis explains, it is also constantly evolving. “Its experimental really, we still find our style on our feet, and we’re used to the stuff and the technology that we have now, we’ve always had synths in the band from day one, but more than ever now, we’re still experimenting when it comes to writing and creating. Funk is often an influence, giving us the freedom to be creative. “It’s different from each member as well when it comes to putting those creations in the pot. It gets filtered through the boys and comes out a completely different creation,” Francis says, “So that’s been the process of how things come about.”

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Paul Berrington After a hiatus from studio recording, the band is writing new songs. Although Francis recognises that the industry has changed, we can still hopefully expect a new EP in the near future. “Yeah we’ve been writing some stuff, I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily an album, that’s still in the pipelines, but I think generally overall now in the industry how it works has really changed, people don’t necessarily have to buy albums anymore, they just buy the tracks that they like, so it’s an expensive process to put all that time and energy into recording an album when people are only gonna buy a couple of songs.” For Kora, the creative process can sometimes take time, as every song has its own unique way of transforming from live experiment to rehearsal, and finally recording in the studio. “It’s different for every song, it’s a different process for every way until you find what you’re after,” Francis explains, “Constant moulding, constant shaping, and just discovering things as you go along, and that can be a really long process which takes time.” Francis attended drama school, and suggests it’s this background in acting that has helped with creating Kora’s incredible stage presence. “I think originally it was the showmanship and musicianship of the boys. With all four brothers there was a dynamic sense of communication on stage. Laughton and I went to drama school, so playing on stage was a big energy boost, and playing with the crowd was something special – having to be a puppet master and see where the crowd’s at, and really pushing that, just that sense of play really.” Since the band’s inception in 2002, Francis has seen the support for New Zealand music and festivals grow exponentially. He feels it’s as important now as it always has been to keep up professional performances, and continue to show love to the fans. “Back in the day when we first started

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there was a strong movement towards the support of New Zealand music, but we’ve come through that movement when it was really starting to kick off, with Fat Freddy’s, Salmonella Dub, and those were fun times, now its slightly different but your technique on stage still has to remain the same, cause you’ve got paying punters, and you still have to find the joy and the love about what you’re doing on stage, otherwise you’re just a floating duck in the water.” Homegrown is a festival that Francis remembers warmly, and he appreciates the immense scale of the event, as well as the open arms that Wellington offers. “It’s like the Vodafone Awards, because you’re there celebrating New Zealand music, but you get to see whole shows of bands, not just the one song, and the variety of all the stages and stuff is epic. I spent 10 years in Wellington, and as I remember it’s a pretty special city down there. They’re just really open, they’ve got open hearts and open minds, and whatever’s throw at them generally they just love it, and they get up and dance and get into it, Wellington’s just got a strong heart and a strong soul.” Fans are also incredibly important to Kora, and as Francis explains if they weren’t interested, they simply wouldn’t be doing it. “Fans are the reason why we’re still doing it, and you may as well not do it if you’re not passionate about it anymore,” Francis says. “I must say though I’m getting old and that front row remains the same age, and their musical influences have dramatically changed. It’s definitely DJ and electronica based now, so to have them still there and rock out and that puts a little smile on my face, just to know you’re still here.” Check out Kora, among many other amazing local acts, at Homegrown on March 7, 2015. For the line-up and tickets, hit up: www. homegrown.net.nz

Entertainment Feature


Our Love / Hate Relationship with the Academy Awards

This year’s Oscar nominations were once again met with disappointment, and even shock in some quarters – particularly on social media where many questioned who’d made the list and who hadn’t, and why and why not? It is nothing new, the Academy Awards have always created intense debate, some of it justified, and the rest, sometimes arguably, a marketing vehicle for nominated films. Let’s take a look at some of the controversies that have surrounded the Oscars over the years. From great films that were ignored, through to actors who refused to accept their award, it’s the ceremony we all have an opinion about. The Oscars were originally a private dinner service, and were held for the first time in 1929. They were first broadcast in 1953, and are now televised live in more than 200 countries. The voting process and ceremony are overseen by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, whose voting membership of around 6000 members – from different cinematic disciplines – decide who receives the infamous statuettes. This year was the 87th ceremony, making the Oscars a precursor to other similar entertainment industry events, and still arguably the biggest and most glamorous. A look back at how many films and directors have missed out on an Oscar might surprise you. Martin Scorsese’s Goodfellas, Taxi Driver and Raging Bull were all nominated for best picture and best director, and missed

Entertainment Feature

out on both counts. Robert De Niro did pick up best actor for his portrayal of boxer, Jake La Motta, in Raging Bull, yet Goodfellas, a critic’s favourite for best picture, was beaten at the line by Dances with Wolves. Scorsese didn’t receive an Oscar for his direction until 2006 for The Departed, which is a travesty in itself considering the multitude of awards his casts and crew have been honoured with. Scorsese isn’t the only master director to be unfairly ignored. Stanley Kubrick, director of 2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange and Full Metal Jacket, and Alfred Hitchcock, whose films Psycho, Vertigo, and Rear Window are among the most celebrated of all time, missed out on an Oscar for best in their craft, even though they were nominated several times. It also seems hard to believe that a film often rated as the best of all time, Citizen Kane, missed out on the best picture prize; while another scathing satire, the legendary Sunset Boulevard, also

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Paul Berrington failed to take the top award home. With David Cronenberg’s darkly-comic look at Hollywood, Map to the Stars, missing out on any nominations in 2015, one could argue that the film industry doesn’t like to look at itself in too much grimy detail. This year the acting categories caused the most discussion. With Joaquin Phoenix’s quirky performance as private detective Doc Sportello in Inherent Vice, Jake Gyllenhaal’s slimy photojournalist in Nightcrawler, and Scarlett Johansson’s amazing turn as an alien put on earth to seduce men as a food source in Into the Skin, all ignored – which is a little hard to justify or comprehend. Over the years, the academy have clearly preferred to award prizes to good films that don’t shake the establishment too much, but

also display an element of American culture and ideology. Think of multiple-award winners like Dances with Wolves, Forrest Gump and Rocky. These are all entertaining films whose politics mirror the American dream, and avoid the complicated cynicism of some of the films they beat to the Oscar: Pulp Fiction, Network and Apocalypse Now, for example. For this reason, some of the more radical members of the Hollywood fraternity have used the Academy Awards ceremony as a conduit for protest, or simply refused to attend. George C. Scott, a renowned actor who won an Oscar for his role in Patton, as the WWII General of the same name,

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famously suggested: “The ceremonies are a two-hour meat parade, a public display with contrived suspense for economic reasons.” Marlon Brando, another acting legend, had already received an Oscar before, yet when awarded for his comeback role as Vito Corleone in The Godfather, the longtime activist sent an Apache woman named Sacheen Littlefeather to refuse accepting the Oscar on stage, and also use the spotlight to protest Hollywood’s treatment of Native Americans. Interestingly, it was later revealed that Littlefeather wasn’t actually Native American at all; she was Mexican actress, Maria Cruz. Perhaps the most distinctive screenwriter of his generation and always on the outer with mainstream cinema until fairly recently, Woody Allen also shares a critical stance: “I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don’t think they know what they’re doing. When you see who wins those things - or who doesn’t win them - you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.” In more recent times, reclusive British street artist, Banksy, was nominated for best documentary feature in 2011 for Exit Through the Gift Shop, yet when the Academy wouldn’t agree to his request to remain anonymous if he attended, one of the artist’s Mr Brainwash murals appeared

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in L.A., showing the Oscar statuette standing alongside storm-troopers from the Galactic Empire – connecting the Academy Awards to the corporate interests that drive the Hollywood film industry. Despite all of this, or more importantly perhaps because of this, we have become as interested in the drama, fashion and controversy of the Oscars as we are the prize-giving and comparison of industry standards. The red carpet is an important date on the fashion calendar, the ultimate event for megastars in designer gowns, and an industry in itself. Controversy also drives up ticket sales, and the criticism surrounding Clint

debatable, but we’ve come to expect that, and it gives us a lot to talk about. The film festival circuit of Cannes, Berlin, Sundance and Toronto offers a better indication of the year in summary of the film industry, and even the Golden Globes, where the modernised criteria they’ve enacted offers a more reliable list of nominees. Let’s not forget, there were some very deserving entries in this year’s Oscar nominations. The brilliantly intense Whiplash features a career best performance from character actor J.K. Simmons, while Birdman has thrilled fans and critics alike. Even though many of the films we hoped would make it didn’t, we can still make up favourites from what’s leftover, and debate the winners. We watch the Oscars to see what Angelina Jolie and Sienna Miller might be wearing, to see who is off their face on

Eastwood’s American Sniper – a favourite in the best picture category for 2015 – has seen it break January opening-weekend records across the United States. Clearly the Academy Awards have become a mega-event that mirrors the spectacular blockbusters of Hollywood. This might make the quality of nominees

drugs, who cries the most and makes a fool of themselves during their acceptance speech, and which Hollywood star manages a moment of poignancy while addressing a contemporary social issue. It’s entertaining: a live soap opera that is both glamorous and gross, and it happens just once a year.

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Entertainment Feature


Monthly Music Round Up

Paul Berrington

Bjork Vulnicura One Little Indian

Father John Misty I Love You, Honeybear Bella Union

Eschewing the pop flourishes of predecessor, 2011’s Biophilia, this new work is undeniably avant-garde. While Bjork’s distinctive vocals remain, the production from Kanye West collaborator, Arca, and anti-classical composer Haxan Cloak creates a moody and sombre experience. Not that this is a bad thing, and if anything, Bjork’s vocals soar over the abstract musical rumblings. In particular, the towering `Black Lake’ and intense `Family’ stand out; melding Bjork’s processed voice to some quite staggering soundscapes. Vulnicura is not an easy record, but surely is a work of compelling experimentation from one of the most unique pop artists of her generation.

Ex-Fleet Foxes drummer, Joshua Tillman delivers his second solo album under the guise of Father John Misty – following on from 2012’s Fear Fun. Once again Tillman offers a take on American folk music that is artsy and provocative, making up for any pretentiousness with his deadpan delivery and by saying the word “fuck” a lot. It’s often majestic stuff; Tillman’s cynical views on love and society matched by his self-referential wit. `Bored in the USA’ gained press exposure when it was performed on David Letterman’s show in November last year. It is a haunting piano ballad that gloomily reinterprets the blue collar meaning of Springsteen’s `Born in the USA’, yet it’s just the tip of a chilly iceberg, with Tillman offering an existential take on what it means to be alive in the modern world. Lyrically it is impressive, yet as with most of Tillman’s previous work the musical backing is an absolute treat. It offers up a soundtrack somewhere between the early 70s Bowie, and Elton John before the stadium rock took over. I Love You, Honeybear is a record to get lost in, laugh or cry about, and then play all over again.

Aphex Twin Computer Controlled Acoustic Instruments Pt.2 Warp Records Comebacks can be a difficult thing for artists in the current media climate, where they’ll inevitably be swamped with the PR hype surrounding their re-emergence. Yet perhaps we should have expected that Aphex Twin wouldn’t rest lightly after returning last year with the Syro LP. Instead of hanging out with celebrities, like Daft Punk arguably chose to, he’s not only clocked the internet with his user48736353001 guise but has also released this rather beautiful new EP. Musically, this is Aphex at his best; complex rhythm tracks built with sounds and hits unlike anything else, sit next to quietly stunning piano miniatures. While Syro could be seen as a summation of previous Aphex Twin classics, there is plenty in this album to suggest that as a producer, he’s still searching within himself for new things. `hat5c 0001 rec-4’ is built upon a loping funk loop – a future disco hybrid that grooves in its own unique manner – while `piano un10 it happened’ is surely among some of the most haunting themes Aphex has ever written. This is a release that will stand as a great introduction for new fans, and also as an exciting new direction for the already established fans.

Reviews

Cairo Knife Fight The Isolator Warner Music New Zealand band Cairo Knife Fight consists of two musicians: drummer Nick Gaffaney – who has worked with Anika Moa, Goldenhorse and Dimmer – and guitarist Aaron Tokona, who cut his teeth with Weta and is also an in-demand session man. Falling roughly under the banner of noise-rock, the band blend the raw early sound of Shihad with the angular post-punk sound of Killing Joke, all washed over with the sort of production you’d expect from Nine Inch Nails. It’s a quite thrilling mix that takes the intensity and flair of their live shows and transports it successfully to a recording. The EP shows the growing sophistication of Gaffaney’s project, offering expansive rock hybrids, with rich melodies and often tremendous musicianship being the highlights. ‘Rezlord’ is the sort of desert rock you’d expect Josh Homme to be fond of, while the flailing riffs on ‘So Much More to Give’ bring to mind a coupling of MC5 and Godflesh. Isolator somehow manages to look towards new ideas while still incorporating many classic local elements. To check out more of the past month’s hottest new releases, check out our website, and search “Weekly Music Round Up”.

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Massive Magazine


Film Reviews

Paul Berrington

American Sniper (2014) Director: Clint Eastwood Starring: Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller Rating: 3.5/5

arguably support the War on Terror, even as it criticises the methods used. A tighter cut with these unnecessary scenes removed would make for a stronger anti-war film. Filled with the class one has come to expect from Eastwood films, it is not as personal as his very best, yet is still a fascinating piece of storytelling.

Detailing the career of Chris Kyle, a Navy SEAL with 160 confirmed kills, Director, Clint Eastwood, has crafted a film that focuses almost exclusively on Kyle’s life – often letting what isn’t on screen affect our view of the Middle Eastern conflicts. For the most part Eastwood remains apolitical by attempting a character study, rather than a contextual war epic. After witnessing the 1998 terrorist attack on the U.S. Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya, Rodeo cowboy Kyle (Bradley Cooper) joins the Navy, determined to use skills gained as a hunter to help protect his compatriots. Soon his ‘gift’ as a marksman makes him an integral member of ground attacks during the Iraq war – his accuracy and deadliness earning him the title ‘Legend’. Kyle clearly feels an affinity to his profession, and when his tour of duty is over, he finds it difficult to re-adapt to civilian life. This causes tension at home with his wife Taya (Sienna Miller), and causes him to suffer from a sense of alienation from those around him. As he completes more kills, and watches the political machinations of the War on Terror rear an increasingly ugly head, Kyle finds himself stuck between a contrived loyalty to his role as protector of the troops he feels a bond with, and a growing sense that he must find a way to return home. The birth of his daughter makes this empty feeling become unbearable, and after one close call too many, he returns home and seeks a way to fulfil his motivations in a different way. As Kyle, Bradley Cooper delivers another sincere yet subtle performance, an everyday man with simple wishes and desires, stuck in a world that offers little escape, and eventually, little reward. While many have criticised the character as a mass murderer with a heart of gold or a hero who doesn’t deserve to be, the tragic outcome of Kyle’s own life runs counter to this. This sniper may be a hero to his fellow soldiers, but in his own mind he can always do more, and must always do more. Eastwood makes sure the narrative never strays too far from this quest, yet manages to comment on the stupidity of the War on Terror in simple yet precise scenes: Kyle’s frustration with insurgent informers, or his disagreement with superiors. The languid pacing and the contrasting scenes of home life to the dusty streets of Iraq, give the film a dreamlike quality – the nightmare of modern warfare and its lack of sincerity. That said, the film is not without its faults. Eastwood could be accused of patriotism in some scenes that provide back-story, but

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Whiplash (2014) Director: Damien Chazelle Starring: Miles Teller, J.K. Simmons Rating: 4/5 A truly original film about musicianship and the end of adolescence, Whiplash details the often brutal relationship between teacher and gifted student. Capturing the intense drive for perfection that motivates many young adults; Whiplash focuses on Andrew (Miles Teller), a gifted drummer who comes under the tutelage of Fletcher (J.K. Simmons). Fletcher is a jazz teacher at the very finest music conservatory in the United Sates, and a man with a fearsome reputation for his methods. Fletcher thrives on pushing others to their limits, especially those seeking to be the very best in their trade, and that is where Andrew fits in. Yet as Fletcher pushes the conservatory band further and further towards another first prize, its members are abused and manipulated, and just as Andrew thinks he’s on the right path, he’s pulled back again. Further alienated from his girlfriend and family, Andrew becomes what the very best jazz drummer must be: somebody who lives to improve 24 hours a day, no matter what the consequences might be. As energetic as the music it contains, Whiplash never misses a beat, featuring a superbly tight script that manages to say a lot without necessarily showing it. If you’ve had a nasty teacher experience, then the brilliant performance of Simmons might scare you senseless, as he turns from sage to torturer within a bar or two of music. It’s certainly a career best performance from one of those actors you’ve seen get some crummy roles over the years. Teller is also well suited to his part. Director Damien Chazelle strips things back with tight frames and lots of close up, often making us feel like a member of the band as we watch Fletcher target his rage, or rarely, his glowing enthusiasm. Working from his own script and developing a project that started with his own short film, Chazelle has come up with a one-of a-kind, thematically rich story that tells it from the inside out – not a Hollywood treatment about how the end of adolescence should be in the American dream. Not a film you’ll necessarily feel great after

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Reviews


seeing, Whiplash succeeds in different way, and is guaranteed to stay long in the memory. It is both challenging and very worthy this awards season. Love at First Fight (2014) Director: Thomas Cailley, Starring; Kévin Azaïs, Adèle Haenal Rating: 4/5 Certainly the most original take on the romantic comedy you’re likely to see this year, Love at First Fight challenges the traditional tropes of love, telling the story of a mild mannered but directionless young man and his developing relationship with a headstrong and paranoid young woman. Arnaud (Kévin Azaïs) has recently lost his father, and taken on the responsibility of the family landscaping business alongside his brother. Bored and polite, his world is turned on its head by Madeleine (Adèle Haenal), after they compete in a wrestling match at a recruitment drive by the French army. Though he’s beaten easily by physically impressive woman, Arnaud becomes smitten with the survival obsessed tomboy, and soon they’re spending a lot of time together. Yet Madeleine is a hard nut, driven by her own selfish desire to be independent, and not willing to take a backward step for anybody. Still they form a bond, and when Madeleine joins a mountain survival camp, Arnaud follows her. Further alienated by her own determination in the masculine environment, Madeleine takes matters into her own hands, while Arnaud supports her every move in the only way she seems

to accept, with support from a distance. When this odd couple are separated from their troop, nature tests their bond, and solidifies their unique need for one another. Fuelled by two excellent lead performances, Director Thomas Cailley’s debut is a treat for audiences who like a surprise. Turning the conventions of the romantic comedy on their head, the film is both funny and fresh, deservedly taking the FIPRESCI Prize at the Cannes Film Festival in 2014. In a way it’s a love story for sceptics, where disagreements and debate draw the couple closer together – not the tacky and unrealistic set pieces that you’d get in a Hollywood treatment. The fact that it’s still hilarious displays the skills of the filmmakers, and Cailley’s use of nature as a thematic device for apocalyptic creation is precise and wholly successful. Haenal and Azaïs are never short of charisma, and they’re perfectly cast together: his puppy dog eyes and gentle nature a direct contrast to her impressive physicality and attitude. This makes the final act carry a significant impact when it comes. One of the highlights of the French Film Festival this year, make sure you grab the chance to see this entertaining film on the big screen. It might just change your mind about what a romantic comedy can be.

The best of French cinema returns to New Zealand Auckland

Rialto Cinemas Newmarket & Berkeley Cinemas Takapuna 19 Feb - 8 March 2015

Wellington

Embassy Theatre 11 - 29 March 2015

Palmerston North Cinema Gold 9 - 19 April 2015

www.frenchfilmfestival.co.nz


Performance Reviews Flying Lotus By Paul Berrington An enthusiastic crowd lapped up the often mind-altering audiovisual show that was Flying Lotus. For nearly an hour and a half, the self-professed ‘off-kilter’ drum patterns, immense layers of heavily processed patches, and equally experimental visuals, drew raptures from a large group of adoring fans, many of whom hung around well after the encore to meet their hero. In a way, this Flying Lotus show was Stadium Rock of the kind that Daft Punk have delivered recently, blending the inevitable knob-twiddling stage presence of electronic producers with something far more visually arresting. The live improvisation on display was what set this show apart, with Flying Lotus – dressed in a black suit and tie, wearing a black mask with large glowing eyes – matched in intensity and flamboyance by his 3D graphics manipulators. The music juxtaposed from glistening beauty to bone-crushing drum patterns, with Flying Lotus making sure that even the most familiar songs were reinterpreted there in the moment. While most of the material was from the recent You’re Dead album, there was also a fair body of his work explored during the set, going as far back as his early EPs. Even at the most abstract intervals when things seemed a little over the top, the energy and charisma Flying Lotus shared with the crowd washed over it. His occasional moments of MC hype were also met with huge applause. This was a festival sideshow to remember. This slick and professional performance featured the Earl Sweatshirt joke, the Rae Sremmurd, Schoolboy Q tracks, and some Captain Murphy (Fly Lo’s alter ego) material for good measure. There were certainly moments in the show where Flying Lotus’ mastery of rhythm and trickery was simply mesmerising, and complimented further by the never ending progression of manipulated images. As one fan said to me after the show, still clearly under the influence, “that was very near a life-changing experience.” More art installation than traditional concert, for Wellingtonians it was pleasing that Shed 6 on the waterfront sounded a hell of a lot better than its neighbour, the TSB Arena. As for the bar running out of drinkable beer by the time Flying Lotus played, that’s maybe something to work on for next time. Flying Lotus was a show many fans will remember fondly for some time to come. The shared vibe was something to behold; everyone transfixed by the intensity of the performance and visual overload, almost as if they’d shared a giant sheet of acid together.

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The Laneway Experience By Maggie Tweedie Many people think of Laneway as an indie festival, where alternative Aucklanders and wannabe Wellington hipsters gather. After my experience, I’ve realised that Laneway is much more than that – although the appalling display of man-buns the size of thumbs may discredit this statement. Laneway seeks to showcase new, talented artists who deliver stunning live performances. The festival grounds are nestled among giant silos, which have fast become an iconic feature in Auckland’s cultural scene. The artists performing at Laneway deliver a distinctive experience, which complements the unusual surroundings. The sun beamed all day long but didn’t melt the spirits of festival-goers. Belly buttons and biceps dotted themselves along the walkways, as the excitement spread from Britomart to Ponsonby. BANKS, Belle & Sebastian, St. Vincent, and New Zealand’s Connan Mockasin (who was to play at his first ever festival) were eagerly discussed among friends awaiting the performances. Our high hopes were definitely not let down. On the Mysterex Stage, Angus and Julia Stone presented a polished performance of their new self-titled album. There were no female artists more commanding than Julia Stone, who had every man in her palm when she whipped out an unexpected but stellar performance on the trumpet. Mac DeMarco – the man who has taken the alternative scene by storm with his album, Salad Days – delivered an elaborate performance at Laneway. DeMarco’s past performances have been known for including elements which tend to shock the crowd. Disappointingly he was somewhat tame at Laneway, especially compared to his Sydney performance where he willingly threw his mum into the mosh pit. On the Hey Seuss Stage, Future Islands were set to impress. In saying that, their performance exceeded my expectations. This was probably due to the fact that my limited experience with the band came from a Spotify playlist. They delivered an incredible live performance, complemented by a cardio workout done by Ariel Pink sometime later. On the same stage, FKA Twigs was somewhat mystical, with her airy performance leaving her fans in awe of her. The sold-out festival delivered a live experience like no other. Laneway was a well-organised event on Auckland’s waterfront. A beautiful day, filled with beautiful music.

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Book and Game Reviews Bound Feet and Western Dress Author: Pang-Mei Natasha Chang By Louise Wong Rating: 3.5/5

Far Cry 4 (2014) Platforms: PlayStation 4, PlayStation 3, Xbox One, Xbox 360, Microsoft Windows By Hannah Douglass Rating: 2.5/5

Bound Feet and Western Dress follows the story of the author, PangMei Natasha Chang, who has grown up in America as a first generation Chinese-American, struggling to find her identity in a country with norms completely foreign to those of her ancestral roots. It also tells the story of the author’s Great-Aunt, Chang Yu-i, who was one of the first generation of Chinese migrants to move to the Western world. Each chapter contains pieces of Chang’s story, among the interesting stories told to her by Yu-i. The Chang family is well known in Chinese history for their achievements, which are talked about from both women’s points of view. Yu-i tells Chang about her upbringing, and her struggles in life as she fights the expectations and roles imposed on her. Yu-i was the first wife of Chinese poet Hsu Chih-Mo, through arranged marriage, and their divorce was hailed as the first modern divorce in China. The title of the book refers to a comment Yu-I made to Hsu Chih-Mo, saying that the two do not go together. Her ex-husband then tells her that that is the reason he wants a divorce. This book serves as a useful reference for multiculturalism, and highlights in particular the difference between Eastern and Western cultures. Yu-i was among the first generation of women to stop having their feet bound - something which she was berated and undermined for. Women around her worried that no man would want to marry a woman without bound feet, as it had been a display of a womans’ societal and financial status in China during her day. Chang herself talks about her struggles in fulfilling her duty to her family, whilst trying to fit in in American society and find herself (as clichéd as that sounds). A standout quote from this book is something Yu-i tells Chang from the very beginning: “In China, a woman is nothing.” She says this despite having run her own bank- the Shanghai Womens’ Savings Bank. It provides an interesting perspective to the current Western society, where many take for granted being allowed to be educated, gain employment and even roam around freely (with the absence of bound feet). As a Chinese person living in New Zealand, Bound Feet and Western Dress helped me gain a better understanding of my ancestral roots and made me so very grateful that I do not have my feet bound (seriously, Google it; it sounds PAINFUL). I definitely recommend this book for those of you who find yourself dancing along the line between two different cultures.

Reviews

Far Cry 3 had been my favourite game since the two Legend of Zelda games that were released on GameBoy Colour in 2001, so the anticipation for the next game in the series to be released was killing me. Far Cry 3 had been the perfect mix of all of my favourite game elements: collectables, fantastic character development arcs, an array of weapons that meant combat could be faced in numerous ways, and a story-line that had me going “what the %*#$?!” at regular intervals. Within about ten minutes of playing Far Cry 4, I realised something that would normally piss me off: it was almost identical to its predecessor. Aside from new names for the setting and characters, it was all there: an isolated foreign country, a madman to run it, and an American tourist who gets way too involved in events he probably should’ve avoided if he knew what was good for him. Hell, even the weapons were the same- did the developers even try? There was something really key missing from Far Cry 4 that had made the previous one so appealing. The hero of Far Cry 3 (Jason Brody) undertook an incredible transformation from upper-class trust fund yob to fearless wild-man, who carried around more drugs and weaponry than you could poke a stick at – and who would then steal your stick and stab you in the eye with it. The hero of Far Cry 4 – one Ajay Ghale – on the other hand, was a papier-mâché resurrection of Jason Brody, with all the personality sucked out of him. You probably could’ve got more character out of the dead pieces of meat that Ajay carries around with him to distract predatory animals. The other thing that frustrated me with this game was its insistence that I carry a handgun with me – what a waste of a weapon slot that is. Actually killing something with one is like Andy breaking out of prison in The Shawshank Redemption: you need about 19 y ears to get the job done – except the thing you’re trying to kill is usually trying to kill you first, so you don’t have that sort of time up your sleeve. Overall, the game is okay. The completionist in me doesn’t hate it so much that I won’t finish it, but once you’ve got a sniper rifle that can fit a silencer, it all just seems a bit pointless.

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Stunning Santorini Europe is a part of the world where each pocket of land and sea holds their own secrets, cultures, traditions and historic battles. Where buttery croissants almost melt on your tongue, where bottles of impeccable wine are €2 (about $3 NZD), and cobbled, uneven streets are worn down from hundreds of years of travelling feet. One small, brightly glowing gem in this extraordinary part of the world is Santorini. A frequent pop-up on computer desktop backgrounds and Tumblr, Santorini really is uniquely stunning; a Greek island in the Aegean Sea with picture-perfect 360 degree views of the ocean, dotted with characteristic white and blue buildings, and funky flora. A summer paradise hotspot, Santorini is a rigid dichotomy from the likes of big, stony, medieval cities that lots of Europe is known for. From a cruise ship, Santorini looks like a Christmas pudding covered in icing, with its wee rounded Grecian houses dotted on the cliff tops, covered in fuchsia flower vines. Known for its steep, cliffy terrain, Santorini is mainly accessible by boat, with visitors getting to the village, Oia, by cable car, or by riding donkeys up a winding cobbled road. Alternatively, there are a few plane landings arriving from Athens, but by boat is surely the best way to be greeted by what really is a most unusual and exciting view when approaching the island. The local Greeks on the island are eclectic but endearing, and easily the most

International Travel

Morgan Browne genuinely warm people I met while travelling Europe. Taking the local bus from Oia (at the top of the cable car) to Fira (the village that features most prominently in Santorini snapshots) is an absolute experience in itself, with the driver and ticket collector both yelling at each other in Greek, and with so many people packed onto the bus that you’re practically sitting in strangers’ laps. Riding the bus as it careened around the cliff top corners felt dangerous, but exciting nonetheless; plus for a mere euro, it was worth it just for the ride. There didn’t seem to be any taxis on Santorini. Fira is a must-see, with all sorts of interesting knick-knack shops, featuring beguiling local artworks, trinkets, clothing, and books. Tourists share the narrow pathways with roaming cats and dogs, and the sounds of unusual musical chimes fill the air. Santorini is absolutely a bucket list destination. Fairly cheap, small enough to do on a day-trip, and casual – it is perfect for a group of students. Or for anyone else for that matter – 100% recommend. Highlights Seeing the island by scooter - Santorini, with its casual, laidback island culture and weather, perfectly complements travel by scooter. Not only do you almost feel like a local, it is much easier to get around where you want and when you want without the claustrophobic heat and crowding of the

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public buses. The food. Greek food – is elaboration even necessary?! Stuffed tomatoes and capsicums, feta, olives, fresh seafood, fluffy homemade bread with hummus, Mediterranean curries... Santorini has so many restaurants tucked away in corners and alleyways, and the owners seem to really want to show you a good time. Fantastic hospitality is guaranteed, wherever you eat, as is fairly decent local Greek beer. The sea – there are so many different beaches and perfect swimming areas on all sides of the island. Not only is the sea warm and buoyant, but incredibly clear. Downsides The treatment of the donkeys is considered by many to be abhorrently cruel. The small, skinny looking donkeys are forced to carry (some extremely large) tourists up and down a very steep road in the sun all day without water or shade. By the amount of visitor recounts regarding donkeys biting or kicking people, it would appear the donkeys aren’t happy. As a moral alternative, take the cable car up instead, and walk down when returning to your boat. Tap water is not recommended for drinking. Santorini is a popular tourist spot and a stop for large cruise liners. Unless you want to wait in line forever for the cable car, getting up early is compulsory.

Massive Magazine


Following Your Nose: Insider Tips on Being a Tourist in Rotorua It’s a place people love to hate. Once a guy actually apologised to me when I mentioned I was from Rotorua, the same way he would have if I’d said my dog had just died. Contrary to this opinion, there are actually loads of great things to do when you’re visiting. Growing up, I’ve come to know the place like the back of my hand – so here are a few insider secrets about the place they call “Roto-Vegas”. The smell Deal with it. It’s not that bad after the first 12 seconds. I once met a girl who visited Rotorua and refused to get out of the car because she hated the smell that much. Don’t be that girl. For the outdoorsy types Check out the Redwood Forest, it’s full of walking tracks, horse treks, and tire-thekids-out-so-they-shut-up tracks (my Mum’s favourite). In recent years the mountain bike scene has really taken off in the Redwoods. The Waipa Mill entrance to the forest has gained a wee café that is no longer just a shipping container and an espresso machine. This progress isn’t surprising really – just about everyone that is rich enough to live out at Lake Tarawera owns a mountain bike, and I think the well-to-do vibe just follows them around.

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Hannah Douglass

For those that are outdoorsy in that they like getting drunk on patios There’s one club most of the time, the notorious Lava Bar. The other club can’t decide if it’s closed down or not, and changes its name bi-monthly. Lava Bar is situated right next to Base Backpackers, and it’s the place to go for a night out. You’ll be sure to bump into someone you know but haven’t seen in forever (even if you’re not from Rotorua it happens… it’s so weird), and yes, there is a patio. If you’re not into the club (singular) scene, head to the Pig & Whistle. It’s good fun all year round, but its biggest night is Christmas Eve, when it’s tradition to have a few sneaky beverages at the Pig.

Activities This is where Rotorua really starts to come into its own in terms of tourism. There’s a list as long as your arm of things you can do while you’re there, and probability alone suggests there is something there for everyone. The Agrodome is where you’ll find bungy jumping, the Swoop, (they stuff you into a sack, winch you up by your feet and then let you swing around like a caterpillar caught in high wind) the aptly named Agrojet, as well as farm shows if you’re into sheep. If dinner and a show is more your thing, the Blue Baths offer good food to eat alongside a cabaret show. After dinner, head next door to the Polynesian Spa to soak in the thermal pools, or get a mud massage.

Hungry? Eat Streat (see what they did there?) is always great for lunch and dinner. It’s situated at the lake end of Tutanekai St. Eat Streat has been blocked off to cars and transformed into a chic little al fresco dining hub. My favourite restaurant there is Atticus Finch, with a menu of small plates designed to share. Just across from Atticus Finch is Brew Bar, owned by the award-winning Croucher Brewing Co. and frequently hosting live performances by local musicians. Away from Eat Streat, Zippy’s Café is the way to go for food. It’s cheap, delicious and the portions are huge. Try the iced chocolate (just trust me on this one).

Again, just deal with the smell. It’s named Sulphur Point for a reason, and no, we can’t do anything about it. I was tempted not to include it because it’s the one thing everyone seems to know is in Rotorua, but you sort of have to mention Skyline. That’s where the luge is not like Cool Runnings luge, but more like flinging yourself down a hill on an impossibly small cart and getting outrageously competitive about it. Do I need to say more? Depending on the amount of time you have, and the size of your budget, there are lots of fun ways to be a tourist in Rotorua – the trick is just deciding what to do!

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Local Travel


Representative Chic

Goody Catton is a Witch, Actually Holy hell. Man Booker Prize winner, Eleanor Catton, sure has been going through the ringer this month following her comments in a Live Mint article, as follows: “New Zealand, like Australia and Canada, [is dominated by] these neoliberal, profitobsessed, very shallow, very money-hungry politicians who do not care about culture. They care about short-term gains. They would destroy the planet in order to be able to have the life they want. I feel very angry with my government,” she told Elizabeth Kuruvilla. “New Zealand has the misfortune in not having a lot of confidence in the brains of its citizens. There is a lot of embarrassment, a lot of discrediting that goes on in terms of the local writers. “We have this strange cultural phenomenon called “tall poppy syndrome”; if you stand out, you will be cut down. One example is that the New Zealand Book Award that follows the announcement of the Man Booker Prize, in the year The Luminaries won it, there was this kind of thing that now you’ve won this prize from overseas, we’re not going to celebrate it here, we’re going to give the award to somebody else. If you get success overseas then very often the local population can suddenly be very hard on you. Or the other problem is that the local population can take ownership of that success in a way that is strangely proprietal. “And I do think the problem we face in New Zealand is that we are reluctant to express firm beliefs in anything.”

Hells bells. Bloody shame on you Eleanor for speaking your mind and taking a stand! *Rep Chic froths at the mouth while simultaneously remaining anonymous for fear of a) lawsuits b) tarnishing one’s journalism career* Now for the witch hunt Ok so, as expected, the shit indeed hit that elusive yet destructive fan as a consequence. There was right wing columnist Matthew Hooton’s sentiments that were nothing but charm and grace, all in fewer than 140 characters, as follows: “She’s just another sanctimonious narcissistic know-nothing leftie greenie.” Prime Minister John Key got in there, saying Catton lacked respect and that she should stop “mixing politics with some of the other things that she’s better-known for.” But Sean Plunket really #nailedit by calling Catton a “traitor” and “an ungrateful hua” (NOTE: while it might sound like “whore” the Māori pejorative actually means boiled head so chill out okay) live on air. He went on to poo-poo Catton’s anti-intellectual snobbery, saying instead she might need to take a “happy pill” and that, well, she was a “bit of a greenie” soooo, of course she shouldn’t be taken seriously eh. How clever, cultural and #ontrend Plunket was by mixing Te Reo Maori into his insults! How dare Catton speak her mind, after all New Zealand has done for her eh. She deserves to be cut down to size eh. The Luminaries wasn’t even that good of a book eh.. Oh wait, isn’t this rhetoric awfully similar to a classic definition of tall poppy syndrome? This whole saga is starting to resemble a certain M.C Escher painting if we’re honest.

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The underlying problem with Catton, we reckon, is that she’s a witch. By traditional standards, witches have been known to wear black, have long hair and enjoy the company of cats.

Now, have we ever seen Catton in anything other than black? Um no. The girl certainly has long hair and by the grace of God, her last name includes the word “cat” in it. So, that philistine, we mean, reputable journalist, Sean Plunket, ought to be scared because we’re sure Catton’s got a motherload of hexes with his name on it.

And although fellow writer Alan Duff’s got Catton’s back, saying, “In my opinion we’re a cultural wasteland, which you can see reflected right across our media. A garbagestrewn land ruled over by mediocrities fiercely and ruthlessly possessive of the high ground they’ve seized.” The problem here is that Plunket, along with his merry National-loving men, have unearthed information that Catton is a witch in hiding, which, would explain, this witch hunt. BOOM. The Trifton Wedding: Flower Dogs and the #Meow New year, new you. Here at Representative Chic, we want to start the year in a positive manner. Mitigate the black magic voodoo of 2014 *cough, the election, cough* if you will. So, why not give a shout out to the power couple of the moment, political columnist Jane Clifton, and Labour “bad boy” Trevor

Massive Magazine


Mallard – for whom, we’ve coined the name, “Trifton”, to join the notorious likes of Kimye, Brangelina, and Spidey. According to former TVNZ senior reporter, Simon Bradwell, who is now more of a behind-the-scenes man in his role as head of news at the Dominion Post, the pair got hitched just a few days shy of 2015. “He’s the bad boy of the house. She’s Parliament’s gossip girl. It was clearly a marriage made in political heaven.”

Property magnate, Sir Bob Jones, Labour MP, Jacinda Ardern, and former deputy Prime Minister Sir Don McKinnon, were among the 70 guests who witnessed the pair get hitched on a piece of carpet from Parliament’s old legislative chamber, Bradwell said. “Mallard’s parliamentary colleague, David Clark, a Presbyterian minister, performed the service under bright-blue skies in a brightred jacket.”

WERE you thinking, Trelise Cooper? #meow. And Trev-dawg didn’t do so well either. Is that a suit or is Trevor attempting to channel Jack Sparrow? Nuff said.

But all was not lost at the Trifton wedding, where former Prime Minister, Helen Clark, was there to provide a little fashionable spark and maybe to check up on what is left of her little right-wing country. #leftwingmeow Just look at her! Embracing blue, red and floral, we see?! Bit of a change of tune, isn’t it! Could the United Nations Development Programme administrator be channelling a bit of Maggie Barry perhaps? #meow #meow

Who needs flower girls when you’ve got two bitches in the house?

Ultimately, Trifton’s pooches,Violet and Jeeves, stole the fashion-forward show with their ethereal dog collars that were naturally Labour-red. Which begs the question - what does this mean for Clifton and her journalistic neutrality? Would this union be classified as a conflict of interest? #Duh, Clifton formerly dated Murray McCully, apparently. REALLY. But, we suppose it’s only fair and balanced to switch teams at the end of the day so we’ll let that little integrity hiccup slide. *Thank you kindly to google images for the photographs. Otherwise, please dear God this is satire and/or opinion – plz don’t sue uzzzz. For the “LOLZ” This month, while researching the ridiculousness that is Tony Abbott, we stumbled across the BEST PHOTOSHOP PUN COMPILATION IN THE WHOLE WORLD. Here at Rep Chic, we agree that Kony Abbott, Pantoney Abbott and Peroni Abbott might indeed be better options than the current situation. To conclude, we thought we would jump on the bandwagon and try our own little photoshop experiment with our own little Nu Zilland Prime Minister, John Key. Without further ado, introducing John Pea.

Nonetheless, here at Rep Chic we are only concerned about the sensational: celebrities in general and fashun. So, Jane’s choice of dress - an off-white Anna Stretton-come-Pride and Prejudice number - was nothing but “meh”. But hey, nothing could ever be as bad as that heinous Kate Hawkesby monstrosity of yesteryear. What

No. 1 / 2015

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Rep Chic


Ask Guru

Hey Guru. My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years. He’s sweet, and kind and nice, and does lots for me, but I’m just bored. I’ve tried spicing things up, but honestly, I want to be out of the relationship. How do I break up with him gently – because I really do want to be his friend! This sucks my friend, and I’ll treat this as a serious question, with a serious answer. Break ups are the worst thing ever. I remember when my heart got broken (doesn’t happen often because I am one of the most attractive/loveable people in the world, so no one wants to break my heart) – but it fucking hurt. Like a physical pain can be felt. So before you follow my advice below, remember that you will (at one stage)

Ask Guru

feel this pain. And you’ll go “fuck me, this is the worst”. You need to show signs that you’re unhappy. Work on the relationship before giving up on it. Love is hard (fuck I’m sentimental and cute) and it needs to be worked on to be great. Have an open and honest discussion about the relationship, where you see it heading, and how you feel right now. Ask him how he is feeling, if he feels the same then maybe you can work on it together, or call it quits. If he is completely oblivious to you being unhappy and this comes as a surprise – then tell him why you are unhappy. Don’t say you’re bored (cos that’s rude and only boring people get bored), say how you feel and what you want to change, or to happen.

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Once you’ve had this discussion you’ll pretty much have a fair idea as to where your relationship is. If he agrees with you, and mentions that he hates you and that the past three years have been shit house, then maybe you should end it. If the conversation went well then you have nothing to worry about. You’ve let your partner know that you are unhappy. You’ve listed the reasons why, and you let your partner respond. If you partner doesn’t agree with you, or doesn’t like your reasons, that isn’t the biggest deal … it’s now out in the open. Remember, if you do break up with him, be gentle. Live laugh love. XOXO GURU

Massive Magazine


What can a woman do sexually in bed to surprise her partner/any man? Bow-chicka-wow-wow. Go you for wanting to spice things up in the bedroom! Surprises are always great – everyone loves a bite on the neck, flick of the nipple, and finger up the bum. The key to making things exciting is to do things that you’ve never done before (obviously). So think about what you usually do – this probably involves five minutes of gobby, three minutes of kissing, and a good ol’ fashion root (missionary, maybe doggy if you’re in the mood). So what you need to do here is sprinkle a little bit of love spice on your bed and prepare yourself for what could be an amazing experience (or something horrible … but you’ll never know until you try). First, set the mood. Think about what your man/woman likes. Do they like cars? technology? the Illuminati? Work this into your dirty little night. It’s all about pleasing their needs; so work with what you know about them. Once you have figured out what your other half likes (in this case I’m going to use the Illuminati), decorate the room with it. Cut some triangles out, get a tattoo with the eye in the triangle and American dollar thing, listen to Kanye… whatever it takes to Illuminati the room out. Then lie naked on your bed (now shaped like a triangle). Make yourself look like a lioness wanting to be tamed. Growl. Roar. Moan before they even touch you. Create an atmosphere. No doubt they’ll pounce, and just embrace it. Dig your fingers into their back. Make different noises, and scream their name. They’ll be gushing (if they are a female) or have a raging willy (if they are a male) in no time. Now you are ready to make the sex. Focus on foreplay. Flick their bean. Flick their willy. Put a cheeky finger up their bum. Kiss their bum. Just do shit you’ve never done before. Nipple play is always fun. Or bring out some toys (shaped like triangles because we are Illuminati) and slap them

No. 1 / 2015

with it. Slap them hard. Let the foreplay go on for a while. We’re talking 30 minutes of decent foreplay. Of tongues in holes, willys in mouths, fingers everywhere. Just let loose. Now we are talking. Everyone should be happy by now. The mattress should be soaked, with bodily fluids nearly everywhere. Now’s the time to have the sex! Jazz this shit up too. Let them put it somewhere it’s never been (as long as you feel comfortable). Do some funky as fuck positions. Go all yogi on them. Put your legs in places they’ve never been, thrust like there is no tomorrow. Just lose your shit on them. Once everyone reaches climax and is in a happy place, just lie there in silence. Don’t touch each other. Just lie there. And weep. Nothing says “woohoo that was the best sex ever” like crying after it. <3 Guru x Hi Guru. I met this boy about a month ago while in Thailand. We went skinny-dipping and played around … we acted as a couple for the entire trip. The funny thing is he lives in Wellington and I am really keen on him. How do I let him know this? Since coming back we have barely spoken. HELP ME GURU! This sounds like a plot to a romantic comedy. Just throw in [actor names] and boom. You could make millions. Finding love in hopeless places happens all the time #quotefromRihanna … so there is no surprise that you fell in love with someone you have never met who lives in your city in one of the biggest melting pots in the world. This is how love works. Now you just have to convince him to love you – which is pretty easy (as long as you have boobies and a winning personality, you’ll have no problem at all). You need to ensure that you actually want this guy. He might be just an overseas fling type of guy – so you need to do some serious stalking and find out what he is doing in Wellington, who he hangs out with, if he is seeing anybody else. With the information you find out by being a creep, add this to what you already know about

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him. That is that he skinny-dipped with you in Thailand, played with your twa-la-la, and acted like your boyfriend. Now you have to decide whether you want to take the non-relationship further. If you choose to leave it and just keep your Thailand experiences as a memory – then avoid him at all costs, no need to do anything more. If you want to take it further, follow Guru’s guide to winning a heart: 1. Make him notice you – you’re lucky because he has noticed you before, so the hardest step has been achieved! Now you just have to make him notice you again. You can do this by following him everywhere, or by getting tipsy and approaching him in Shot Shack (pop culture reference #wellington). 2. Entice him – treat him like your prey. You want to lure him into a trap. That trap being your heart (or dungeon in the basement). When he says something funny, giggle, touch your hair constantly, flutter your eyes, and open your legs ever so slightly. Maybe show him a little bit of nip. 3. Date – date before sex. 4. Have the couple talk – obviously don’t do this one day after dating – but remember that you need to have the talk to cement everything in place. 5. Happy life 4eva with your dream <33 s0o0 cut3. And go you for skinny-dipping. MASSIVE Magazine’s artist followed you to Thailand, stalked you, watched your every move, and created the picture featured in this month’s Guru spread. So go you, you’re famous, and we can all see your nips!! Submit your juicy questions to Guru by visiting massivemagazine.org.nz and searching ‘Ask Guru’.

Ask Guru


Uni Mum

I am your new surrogate Uni Mum (“I’m not a regular mum, I’m a cool mum”) here to offer sound advice (and virtual hugs) about anything to do with university life. From the flatmate who steals your clothes, to the test you will cheat on, to your cunning plans to bang that babe down the hallway, and everything in between. If you have an issue you would like me to cover, just flick me an email (editor@massivemagazine.org.nz) and I will be sure to write about it next month. Returning students, welcome back! Some positive news: the first week, as you now know, is a redundant swirl of greetings in lecture rooms you are familiar with, and hand outs you know you can acquire on stream. So kick off your heels and get back into the swing of flatting, parties, and friendships. Hang in there, baby! You only have to last another 12 weeks until you can fuck off again! New students gather round and let me assist you with some key pointers to settle into university life. Now, I know that your over-eager brains have probably just received some top NCEA results and you’re on cloud nine! Your parents have agreed to pay for the neat, tidy and oh-so-worthevery-cent residential halls, and maybe even sussed you with a hall meal plan (good luck with that). Studylink has promised to pay you $176 a week, and your course related costs sit securely in your bank account ready

Uni Mum

to be spent on your textbooks. Well, newsflash babies, it’s O–Week! Leave your virginity at the door, forget about your pre-paid meal plan and get ready to blow that grand on cheap wine, red plastic cups, and ping-pong balls. O–Week is an exciting time to say the least, where friendships and relationships blossom, dance moves are improved, and impressions are made. Here, I would like to share with you my top three O-Week survival tips, from my very own personal experience. Communicate with your parents/ caregivers. Now, this might seem very responsible, but your parents really want to make sure you are okay, and guess what? There is nothing wrong with that. If your parent fucked off for three days without contacting you, you would be wondering what they were up to. It may even be a good idea to learn their phone number off by heart. This will help if the situation should arise that you lose your phone, go on a two day bender, see it as a good idea to buy a plane ticket home (on their credit card) and turn up on your families doorstep looking and feeling like arse, while your crying mother tries to simultaneously hug and hit you. This will save you a lot of confrontation and screaming, just trust me with this; my mother still scorns me for this very event. Plus they will usually leave you alone if you give them enough attention at the beginning,

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sustaining a healthy relationship of trust and maturity. You can thank me later. Learn how to manage your hangovers (or just don’t drink too much). I still have not mastered this, and spend most Sundays rolling around in a bed of KFC, moaning. But I did manage to curve the roller-coaster of emotions and stomach upsets most O-Weeks. Ignore the fact that your body is screaming for them, and steer clear of greasy foods. Or just be sensible, and don’t drink too much. In my experience this is the best way to avoid hangovers altogether. Don’t over do it – Be yourself. Look, this may seem a little soppy, but I’m being serious. This is university; no one cares if you were Miss-Thang at Wanganui High anymore. Sky high heels and a full-face of make-up are a terrible idea at university. Trust me, everyone will notice when you look like the queen bee week one and a hobo week two (just stick with the hobo, it requires much less effort). Don’t be the guy who gets too drunk at O-Week and is forever plagued by a ridiculous nickname because he was unable to get it up during drunken foreplay. And overall, respect each other, don’t take advantage of situations or people, because I promise you, it’ll bite you in the arse in the coming years. You have at least three years to piss people off, so lets not dive into it too heavily ay? Good luck out there guys, let loose, and let everything fall into place.

Massive Magazine


Food is Life, Food is Love

Sasha Borissenko

Devil Food Cake My mother has an American disposition. I grew up salivating over Betty Crocker and Martha Stewart. Every time I venture home to Tauranga I have to show “real commitment” by investing great chunks of time to what my mother has saved for me on MySky namely cooking shows, of course. I didn’t just lick my love of food from the ground, you know. And what a commitment it is. On my return to Wellington I brought with me two poorly sewn skirts and the worst sugar hangover to date. But, there was one particular baking fail that will go down in history. Angel food cake - infamous for being egg-white-heavy and strange, but having a delightful texture. Every birthday my mammy barks on about whether we’ll tackle it this year, so this time we did. And while we found ourselves to be “positively pickled” as my mother likes to call it, thanks to the bottle of cointreau we drank, it’s no surprise that the cake ended in disaster. We prematurely tried to get the cake out of the tin. Raw, it was. Disaster, it was. To give us a little credit, it tasted delicious, the raw bits included - or could that have been the cointreau talking? Nevertheless, I think real foodies include the good and the bad. Integrity, amIright?! So prove me wrong and try it for yourself! Ingredients: 12 egg whites at room temperature, 1 tsp cream of tartar, dash of salt, 1 C flour, 1 ¼ C sugar, 2 tsp vanilla (DAYUM). The results of this recipe are magic. While I would never ordinarily sieve anything for want of putting in minimal effort but reaping the benefits, as I royally mucked up this cake I think it would be best to sieve. Sieve dat flour and salt, sieve it rilllllll good. Also, for the egg whites I hate to say it but it is probably a good idea to use a blender. Peasants go home, I’m afraid. Blend the eggs for a minute or so, add the cream of tartar and continue blending until soft peaks form. Add the vanilla, and yes, vanilla time is the best time. Now, fold your sieved flour into the clouds of poultry, one spoonful at a time. Be careful now. Spoon the mixture into a cake tin. You want to allow for air bubbles so-to-speak, so with a fork or some other sharp device, stab the mixture before putting it into the oven. Now bake the cake for about 40 minutes at a 160 degrees Celsius. I’ll pray for you. Photo sourced from: www.Saraleedesserts.com

No. 1 / 2015

Bitter Brownies When I think about Valentine’s Day, I want to Vomit. Would my bitter sentiments have any more meaning if I were married with three kids? Sure, I’m more of a Bridget Jones kind of gal, but I daresay I’ve been among company who err on the side of tragic in my 26 years of life. The ol’ “I don’t need no man; I’m going to have my FOUR blocks of chocolate, a bottle of gin and ENJOY MYSELF OKAY OKAY?” Ah really? I don’t know, I’m of the opinion that if you’re hitched or a member of the single ladies clurrrb, justification for one’s behaviour/enjoyment/happiness shouldn’t be the name of the game. I guess what I’m trying to allude to, is that one’s value or currency shouldn’t be dictated by whether you are in a relationship - even despite the social construct. The concept is absurd - that one’s perceived worth, that is, to have a “bae”, is in the control of another. But where is the factual/statistical/scholarly analysis, you might ask? Nup, just an emotional, nay irrational discomfort for the world around me. And don’t even get me started on the whole “it’s a consumer-driven holiday” argument. So, to represent my combination of apathy and disdain for the stupid day, I decided to make the most budget, effortless (and probably disgusting) baked brownie that I sourced from the internet. On the plus side, I celebrated “Galentines Day” – a day created by none other than the Parks and Recreation’s revolutionary, Leslie Knope – where all your lady friends party and celebrate friendship. Ingredients, 1 C of nutella, 4 large eggs. Preheat yo’ crappy oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Meanwhile, whisk the heck out of your eggs until they are “light like a cloud”. That sounds dubious for some reason – could be the “romantic” rhetoric. Anyway, add the Nutella, and it might be useful to heat the Nutella beforehand, which will make for a better mixture. Pour the said mixture into a greased/non-stick square tin and pop into the oven for 25 to 30 minutes. Done. Beware, the texture is very different to that of its traditional counterpart. Symbolism for the faux nature of Valentine’s Day, perhaps? With that said, I hope all you smug lovedup, or single people had a happy bloody Valentine’s Day. Photo sourced from: www.thekitchn.com For more frivolously fun recipes, check out: http://doilydarlings. blogspot.co.nz/

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New Year New You On January 26 I had the good fortune of attending St. Jerome’s Laneway Festival. But Auckland heat. Mate. Is it my eastern European roots? Do I have an unnatural central body core temperature? Am I one of those “warm-blooded animals?” *Becomes delirious and hysterical in the process* So, the thought of baking up a storm made me want to vomit this crazy-hot week. Instead, I thought it seemed appropriate, especially given my perpetual drive for a NEW YEAR NEW YOU manifesto, to try and throw together a salad. This could of course be the hysteria talking. What’s more, I have this silly habit of misappropriating my time come the new year by looking up fad diets and the merits of “super foods” only to conclude, every year, that I am a slave, nay fiercely loyal to the baked good and carbohydrates in general. But, to keep my bitches satisfied, I’ve managed to incorporate the wondrous kale and salmon for good measure. Finally, this recipe serves either one (greedy, like myself) or two. And, if you are really embarking on a NEW YEAR NEW YOU plight, you might even want to save a few servings for lunch the next day. How Martha Stewart. Ingredients: Frozen bag of edamame beans, quantity usually is about 500g, one head of broccoli, half a red onion - diced, 100g of fresh-ish salmon- on sale people! One head of kale, handful of baby spinach, coarse sea salt, olive oil for cooking, cherry tomatoes, cut in half. I’m a true fan of under-cooked broccoli. Perhaps it’s the crunch, I’m not sure. Nevertheless, prepare the broccoli by either biffing cut pieces into the microwave or steaming them on the stove-top. Meanwhile, you need to cook the salmon. Add olive oil accordingly. It takes about 10 minutes on the stove-top. In a pot, boil some water and add the edamame beans. They take about 5 -10 minutes. Mmmmm protein. Once cooked, strain and add about three teaspoons of salt. Now, add remaining ingredients and voila! Easy. The olive oil and tastiness of the salmon reduces any need for dressing, in my opinion.

Savoury Shortbread Happy 2015! What a year it will be - filled with fewer croissants, and more quinoa, or so I try to tell myself. To kick off the year I decided I would do the unthinkable - combine sweet and savoury! It was my birthday this week, and at 26 (GAH old age, run for your lives) I decided I needed to at least ATTEMPT to curb my obsession with sweet baked goods. Thus the birth of “savoury shortbread” , or a “glorified cracker” if you will. For my diva day I decided to stage a picnic, complete with delightful friends, my famous chocolate mascarpone tart, a pyrotechnic candle that should be illegal, a beautiful cake made by partner-in-culinary-crime, Deanna Dowling, and my new go-to, savoury shortbread biscuits. For those of you who are frightened by the prospect of combining sweet and savoury – no need to fret. You are getting the best of both worlds. And what’s more, because I was channeling Beyonce and feeling particularly gluttonous , I combined these savoury bikkys with cheese and jam. Holy hell! So if you too wish to channel your inner Beyonce, get ya hands dirrrrty and try the following recipe: Ingredients: 185g butter, ⅓ C icing sugar, 1/2 C flour, 1 tsp coarse salt, 1 tsp dried rosemary (not ground), Handful of chopped walnuts. Preheat that unreliable oven of yours to 180 degrees Celsius. Combine all of the ingredients as if you are making stock-standard shortbread. To be the tease that I am, I like to add the rosemary, salt and walnuts at the end – just to keep the mystery alive as to whether the shortbread are going to be sweet or savoury. With the dough, create a log-like formation. You want to make it as compact as humanly possible. Using a sharp knife cut the log into thin slices, place them individually on a baking tray, and biff them into the oven for 15 minutes or so. Done. As my first time was largely experimental, I am of the belief my treaties erred on the thick side. But you know, it was my birthday and equally I’m a greedy guts, so no harm done.

Devil Food Cake

Food Blog

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Trick or Treat The next few hours swirled into a haze of beers, buds, bourbon, and candy as thousands of revellers buzzed, tweaked or tripped out at the wide myriad of nightmarish characters on display. My only real concrete memory is sitting in the gutter at 2am with a couple of guys, sharing a pizza and a laugh as ghouls stumbled off with sexy nurses and ‘Babe’raham Lincoln played hard to get with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. The next couple to pass us by was a large transvestite being pursued by a guy – noticeable not only for his lack of costume, but for the fact that he was at least a foot shorter than his companion. At this point I should mention that I’ve long had a curiosity with transvestites, particularly when under the influence and in the vicinity of a dancefloor. This was a particularly fine specimen whose flowing blonde hair, glittery eyelashes and powerful thighs would no doubt appeal to a wide variety of different audiences. Great idea – men want to be you and women want to be with you. Or is it the other way round? Hell it was both! Sadly I hadn’t shared this obsession of mine with my new found friends and so when this glorious he-woman stopped in front of us, they looked somewhat perplexed when she spoke to me. “Oh there you are! I thought I had lost ya hun! So are you coming home with us?” Slowly I realised that I may have been a little overflirtatious with her on the dance floor. “Oh, sorry, not tonight... Have a nice night though.” “But my friend thought you were cute! Don’t you remember my friend?” “Uuhh, was your friend also a dude?” “No! She’s hot. And she has a real pussy! Stop being a pussy and get in the car!” I’m not sure what it was that made me get into that car. Perhaps it was the eloquence of my transvestite friend, not to mention her five-foot friend who was conspicuous in his silence as he groped his

As a kid I was never allowed to celebrate Halloween. My parents thought the occasion to be just another crass American display of materialism and consumerism. They also repeatedly warned me of the holiday’s dangers. As a result, while my friends were out “begging” on the streets of suburbia, I would lock myself in the toilet, and sob. I think that years of being told that they were “ruining my life”, eventually wore my parents down, and so in my final year of primary school I was finally allowed to go trick or treating. Sadly, after being turned away from a number of houses for being too old (I couldn’t help being big for my age) I was then egged by a passing car of teenagers and swiftly returned home – once again traumatised by the antics of October 31. I probably should have taken the hint right then and there that Halloween and I weren’t meant to be. However, the hours spent locked in that toilet, crying over all the fun I was missing out on, weren’t to be wasted. I was determined to experience the festivities as the TV characters and advertisements of my childhood had promised me. So in October, 2012, I arrived in Santa Cruz, California with the expectation that this time it was going to be different. Having spent the past month volunteering on an organic farm, living a pious life, devoid of cellphones, meat and anything that hadn’t been lovingly grown from the earth, I was more than willing to join the hedonistic, sugar-filled, devil-horned orgy that was Halloween. I decided that to take a stab at the “sexy” culture where the costumes stray from traditionally scary witches, ghosts, and ghouls over to the realm of naughty nurses, sexy kittens and busty beer maidens. I duly purchased a cute little Bavarian maid outfit from the nearest adult store. Topping the outfit off with a strangely convincing old person mask and a creepy china doll from a thrift store, I dubbed my outfit “sexy crack head”, and began the festivities. No. 1 / 2015

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was feeling sleepy and any thoughts of the mythical “real pussy” waiting at our destination had long been taken over by the euphoric, full body sensation of some good old fashioned USA government issued Methadone. Poppin’ a round of anonymous pills followed by a Tic Tac, we were finally homeward bound – wherever “home” was. I sprawled out on the backseat and floated through the suburban streets. Eventually I was dragged out of the car and dumped into bed with the promised actual woman, with the “real pussy”. After interrogating me about whether or not I had done anything sexual with her friend in drag, I was deemed innocent enough and a worthy companion for the night. Content, I drifted off into a deep and dreamless slumber. Hours later I was awakened by a manic blonde naked woman, running around in a room that I struggled to recognise. “Shit! Fuck! I’ve got a court hearing! I’m gonna be late!” It was all a little too loud for me as she threw on some clothes and kissed me goodbye, leaving me alone and painfully awake, pondering where I was, what had happened and what sort of crime she had committed to earn her court hearing. Reality smacked me in the face when I soon realised that I had no clothes other than my “sexy crack head” dress – a persona which I wasn’t quite ready to resume. Luckily, my mystery lover appeared to not only be a felon but also a nurse, as I found her wardrobe stocked with nursing scrubs. My friend downstairs, whose gender had strayed much further towards the masculine end of the spectrum, also stocked me up with some medical candy for the day. And so I left: dressed and medicated thanks to the US medical industry. When I finally returned to my homestay, I locked myself in the toilet, sobbed, and reflected on the numerous times that my parents had warned me of the dangers of Halloween.

way around his partner for the night. I’m still unsure if he was aware what he was dealing with. I rode in the backseat, leaving the two lovebirds to explore the front seats of the car together. “Oh my god, I can’t drive in these heels, I’m already so wasted!” I buckled my seatbelt and hoped for the best as a pair of six inch stilettos flew into the back seat. At this point I did start to wonder what I had got myself in for but my nerves subsided with the news that we were “making a quick stop off at Granddad’s place”. As the car hurtled through the streets of Santa Cruz I let my imagination wander as to what was about to unfold. Though that only seemed to stress me out so instead I asked for the radio to be turned up while I tried to pretend I was back home – as I’m sure the car was driving on the left hand side. Eventually we pulled up to a trailer park and I was so relieved to have made it to my destination alive that I didn’t question where we were or what sort of Granddad might be expecting his transvestite Grandson, let alone a five-foot fondler and “sexy crack head” hell bent on fulfilling their trick or treating destiny at 3am. Turns out he was a Hell’s Angels member. Patched up, yet very welcoming. He even greeted us with some powder on tinfoil, which he willingly showed me how to spark a flame underneath and huff the fumes. That was my first taste of Methadone – a pharmaceutical version of heroin which they use to rehabilitate junkies. His grandson and friend excused themselves to the toilet, leaving me and my leatherclad friend to drift off from the aches and pains of the physical world and into a world free of any of my mundane stresses such as money, safety or the future. He recalled tales of the Angels back in the sixties and we discussed how the government are the real drug dealers, with their prescription medications and multi-national pharmaceutical conglomerates funding foreign wars and tranquillising hard working Americans. Sadly, our deep and meaningful was cut short as his grandson and friend emerged from the bathroom announcing that it was time to depart. By this time I No. 1 / 2015

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The Forbidden Fruit As much as he tried to behave, He would nearly always cave, Self-control was lost, with his head floating in thick clouds of male hormones, And so, His warm tongue traced her figure, Teasing her as he swirled around her body, He bit down with an intense passion and hunger, Sinking into her suppleness, His lips sucked her hard, Juices flowed, juices dripped Mixing with his warm saliva, Lips were licked, He could taste her sweetness. He was overcome with a sense of euphoria. But she nearly always disappeared. He would be left with nothing but a core, Of what once drove his desires, And so he’d return home, To the lady who loved him so, His fingers sticky, her aroma lingering on his breath, Her pale blue eyes stared intently at him as he entered the house, The look said it all, He knew that his summer of lust would soon be over. The sun bowed down earlier and earlier, And the leaves on the trees turned the colour of the sunset, Summer was ending. His mind was filled with intense rushes of panic, Spreading throughout his body, Feelings of guilt and fear, were replaced with uncertainty, As he wondered if that was the last juicy peach, He would enjoy that summer.

His summer has been tainted with guilt, It has washed over him, and swept him into the roughest of oceans, The same glistening oceans he used to gaze over, and feel the sparkles reflect upon his caramel skin. His looks have held, yet he no longer recognises himself this summer, He feels different to the gentleman she fell so deeply in love with three years ago, To the man she used to kiss with such passion that it hurt. Because this summer, he had fallen in lust with another, The forbidden fruit you could say. Yet she lay beside him at night in sheets of naivety, The guilt pained him like nothing else, But he couldn’t stay away. He would spend balmy summer days, among nature, content in her company, He would hold her delicately, Her sweet, smooth curves, irresistible to touch, His skin would gently touch hers, So tender, yet firm He explored her, Inside out, Her body so juicy Thoughts flashed through his complicated mind, He found it hard to differentiate between lust and love, He loved her; he had done for the past three years, But he would lust for her, Her sun-touched skin, He was hungry for his lips to become one with her ripe, young body, Expressive Arts

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Puzzle Time How many words can you make out of these letters?

Think you’re a whiz? Take this quiz! All of these questions relate to the content in this month’s magazine. Once you’ve figured out the answers, send them through to editor@ massivemagazine.org.nz with the subject line ‘QUIZ’ to be in to win a bag of People’s Coffee.

S I T U V N R E Y I

Pop quiz – just for fun! 1. Name Harry Potter’s owl. 2. What year did the titanic sink, and what year did the movie come out? (Two points) 3. Approximately how many calories does a teaspoon of semen contain? 4. How many pieces are on a chess board at the beginning of a game? 5. Riddle: I am weightless but you can see me, put me in a bucket and I’ll make it lighter, what am I? 6. Name the three orange properties on the original Monopoly board. (Three points) 7. What is Tiger Woods’ real first name? 8. How old was Robin Williams when he died? 9. Name all five children who go to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. (Five points) 10. Name the ship on the New Zealand 50 cent coin.

Fill the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the numbers 1 to 9.

No. 1 / 2015

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Answers: 1. Hedwig 2. 1912 and 1997 3. Five calories 4. 32 5. A hole 6. Vine Street, Bow Street, and Marlborough Street 7. Eldrick 8. 63 9. Veruca salt, Charlie bucket, Mike Teevee, Augustus Gloop, and Violet Bueregarde. 10. HMS Endeavour

1. Which student president has an interest in crochet? 2. What new feature does the updated Massey app contain? 3. Which campus’ Orientation Programme includes a beach party? 4. How many egg whites are called for in the Devil Food Cake recipe? 5. Which band did Joshua Tillman used to be the drummer in? 6. What was Sean Kelly obsessed with as a kid? 7. Who is Ben Jeffares? 8. Which films, featured in the reviews section, were nominated for an Oscar this year? 9. Which couple has our Rep Chic columnist named “Trifton”? 10. How many rides did Uber deliver in 2014?

Puzzle Time


Editor Kim Parkinson (04) 801 5799 ext. 63765 editor@massivemagazine.org.nz Design and Layout Harriet Simpson (04) 801 5799 ext. 63764 design@mawsa.org.nz Advertising, Marketing and Mawsa Association Manager James Collings (04) 801 5799 ext. 63763 manager@mawsa.org.nz Publisher massivemagazine.org.nz ISSN 2253-5918 (Print) ISSN 2253-5926 (Online) Please contact your local campus reporters if you want an issue to be covered that applies specifically to your campus. Albany Julia Braybrook juliabraybrook@gmail.com Manawatu Liz Chandler lizziec@slingshot.co.nz Wellington Kim Parkinson editor@massivemagazine.org.nz This publication uses vegetable based inks and environmentally responsible papers. The document is printed throughout on SUMO Laser, which is FSC® certified and from responsible forests, manufactured under ISO14001 Environmental Management Systems. MASSIVE magazine is committed to reducing its environmental footprint.

Contributors Sasha Borissenko, Paul Berrington, Taryn Dryfhout, Kristine Zipfel, Maggie Tweedie, Uni Mum, The Guru, Hannah Douglass, Louise Wong, Morgan Browne, Tom Pringle, Linsey Higgins, Byron Brooks. Image Credits Front cover, Elliot Gonzales, gonzalesbabies. tumblr.com/tagged/doodles or avkmmxv. tumblr.com. Editorial, Ellie Walker-Huizing, Page 2, ewalkerhuizing@Gmail.com or thesideproject.bigcartel.com or 0278294924. Student Presidents, Hannah Jensen, Page 7, hannah_jensen@me.com or facebook.com/pages/Hanby-Prints. Ask Guru, Brad Smit, Page 50, brdsmt.tumblr. com/. Graduation Feature, Thomas Aitken, Page 16. Kingseat: Past, Present and Paranormal, Darien Fisher, Page 20, darienhfisher@windowslive.com or darienworks.co. Uber and the Taxi Industry, Maia Visnovsky, Page 24, behance.net/ visnovsky. Sean Kelly, Ellie Walker-Huizing, Page 28, ewalkerhuizing@Gmail.com or thesideproject.bigcartel.com or 0278294924. Photographic Feature, Wara Bullot, Page 31 - 3, warabullot.com. Free Diving, Ryan Scott, Page 34, ryanscottart.tumblr.com or instagram.com/ryhannis or ryans1995@ gmail.com. Travel: Santorini and Rotorua, Frederico Freitas, Page 46 — 47, http:// fmfreitascv.tumblr.com or fred_marquez@ hotmail.com. Uni Mum, Te Hana Taila Goodyer, Page 52, tehanatailagoodyer.com. Trick or Treat, Thomas Aitken, Page 56. Back cover, Elliot Gonzales, gonzalesbabies. tumblr.com/tagged/doodles or avkmmxv. tumblr.com.

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The Man Behind the Cover Hi, my name is Elliot Gonzales. I am a third year industrial design student, based in Wellington. I’ve been scribbling all the way from Manila to Palmerston North to Wellington, so creativity has always been a significant aspect of my life. My cover illustration is a tribute piece to Deth P. Sun, a Californian illustrator, whose pieces feature characters interacting with epic environments. Do the characters remind you of yourself somehow? If you are a fresher, yeah they might. These guys are exploring their new environment, just like you guys are exploring your new city and campus as you stumble your way through O-Week. Apart from making things, I am a volunteer Martial Arts instructor and train regularly so I don’t get my dome rocked too often. I also like fakie flips, the Joe Rogan Podcasts, and chillin’. To check out more of Elliot’s work, visit: gonzalesbabies.tumblr.com/tagged/doodles or avkmmxv.tumblr.com. Disclaimer: The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages of MASSIVE Magazine do not necessarily represent those of Massey University, its staff, Albany Students’ Association (ASA), Massey University Students’ Association (MUSA), Massey at Wellington Students’Association (MAWSA), Extramural Students’ Society, or the MASSIVE editor.


ANZAC DAY 2015 Commemorative ANZAC DAY Guernsey designed by Massey Open Lab

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