LIKEiT Magazine Vol 1 Issue 6 by Augusto Meneses

SEPTEMBER 2012

VOLUME 1 ISSUE 6

LIKE T Your “feel good” magazine companion

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thoughts

Reflection

The Doll and The Rose The “Present”

The Beggar

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Sli ing Famous People Who Became oors Margot Kidder, the actress who played Superman’s love interest Lois Lane, was once a Hollywood star who dated “bigs like Richard Pryor and Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.” According to Daily Finance, Kidder battled schizophrenia and manic depression and even refused treatment at one time. “Plagued by paranoia, [Kidder] slept in cardboard boxes and backyards around Los Angeles in 1996.

Homeless Actor Willie Aames was making more than a $1m annually, but lost it all and ended up sleeping under bushes and in parking garages

When the star of Charles In Charge and Eight Is Enough faced bankruptcy and foreclosure, he resorted to sleeping under bushes and in parking garages. According to Accounting Today, Aames might be planning a second career as a financial adviser. In the 90’s, actress Natasha Lyonne was all over the screen in But I’m a Cheerleader, Slums of Beverly Hills, and American Pie.

In the late-1970s through the mid-1980s, Williams was captain of the New York Knicks and played for the Boston Celtics’ 1985 NBA Finals team.

But her promising career was “derailed” after a series of encounters with the law. Followed by a hospitalization, she found herself living on the streets

Williams said. “Well, where’s the loyalty and compassion for ex-players who are hurting? We opened the door for these guys whose salaries are through the roof.’’

Since then, Lyonne has tried to revitalized her acting career. She’s recently guested in an episode of Law and Order and appeared in the off-Broadway play Tigers Be Still.

“Sugar Ray” Williams, once an NBA superstar, was found sleeping out of his Buick in 2010

Homeless People Who Became

Famous Oscar winner Halle Berry once stayed in a homeless shelter in her early twenties When she first moved to Chicago to become an actress, Berry ran out of money. During these struggling times, the actress admits to staying in a homeless shelter. “It taught me how to take care of myself and that I could live through any situation. I became a person who knows that I will always make my own way.” Before the age of 10, Charlie Chaplin had to figure out how to make a living on the streets of London After the early death of his father, Chaplin's mother was put in a mental hospital and the young boy and his brother had to try to make a living by themselves, according to his Web site. As both his parents were in show business, Chaplin and his brother decided to follow suit. Today, he's known as one of the greatest actors during the silent film era.

Jim Carrey once lived out of a VW camper van and in a tent on his sister's front lawn Carrey said it was during these tough financial times growing up when he developed a sense of humor. The comedian dropped out of high school and lived in a VW bus with his family parked in different places throughout Canada. They eventually moved into a tent on his older sister's lawn and parked the van in the driveway. Before becoming the greatest magician, Harry Houdini ran away from home at the age of 12 and begged on the streets for coins At a young age, Houdini knew he wanted to be a magician and but they were so poor Houdini panhandled on the streets. Before becoming the multi-platinum singer, Jewel lived on the streets after losing her job. “I ended up homeless because my boss propositioned me and when I wouldn’t sleep with him he didn’t give me my paycheck,” she said. I didn’t have insurance and ended up almost dying in the parking lot of an emergency room because they wouldn’t admit me because I didn’t have insurance.

s t n e t n co

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Predictions that Missed the Mark To prophesy is extremely difficult – especially with regard to the future – Chinese proverb Essential Free Software Getting a new computer is always a pain. There’s so much to move over, so much to install, so many programmes to buy. Save yourself the googling and the money with our nifty guide to ten free software any computer needs.

View an interactive version at http://storiesulove2read.co.cc/likeit06/likeit06.html

LIKE T http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEheh1BH34Q

© 2012 www.addmediacreatives.tk Editor-In-Chief Maridel De Leon Business Development David Pancratius Lawrence Designer & Production Augusto Meneses Social Media Research MG Ryan Contents Timothy Jonathan, David Lawrence, Chuck McNally www.addmediacreatives.tk www.addmediacreatives.co.cc Publisher ADDMedia Creative PrintShop

The Universe

This video is quite entertaining albeit very, very educational. It makes you see the universe in a whole new different light. Check it out!

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FAIR USE ACT Some of the materials used in this online magazine have been taken from the internet and falls under the FAIR USE ACT which allows the use of materials as long as it is not used to advertise a product or try to influence the decision of the consumer into buying a product. Any brands appearing here are copyright of their respective companies. If any of the materials are deemed infringement of property rights, then please contact our staff and the said materials will be pulled out and not be used in the future. DISCLAIMER: Stories appearing in LIKEiT Magazine are not the views, opinion nor recommendation of the management. It remains with the readers discretion to believe or not to believe anything that is featured here. Damage resulting from reading the stories appearing here are not the responsibility of the ADDMedia Creatives management and its staff.

32 43 48 Photos courtesy of: FreeDigitalPhotos.net JamieBeck & KevinBurg PublicDomainPictures.net

The Beggar If you have missed knowing a person, you have missed nothing.If you have missed some of your emails, you have missed a laugh. But, if you have missed knowing the LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, you have missed everything in the world. The Doll and the Rose The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is not hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

What’s the Difference Between Men and Woman? A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings, funerals ... and tha’s just for starters! Van Dyke’s Beautiful Thought Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you, and to think what you owe the world... Post-It-Notes Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.

flashback

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgkS2j2d82k&feature=related

Speed Potrait Painting

In our past issue, you’ve seen how technology has caught up with drawing - aesthetically speaking. Ooops, Wait! Don’t think good “old-fashioned” drawing will just wither and die from the challenge. Nope... no sireee! As proof, here’s one drawing done the good ol’ fashined way. The way we are used to seeing it done. It’s a time lapsed video so you’ll see the drawing come into life with your very own eyes. Well, I guess, if not for technology, we wouldn’t be able to see this, so technology comes up ahead again in this one...

thoughts

take risks

and conquer your fears.

Even if you are on the right track, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get run over if you just sit there...

Click here to watch the journey

Predictions that

Missed the Mark

n 1894, the president of the Royal Society, William Thomson, Lord Kelvin, predicted that radio had no future. The first radio factory was opened five years later. Today, there are more than one billion radio sets in the world, tuned to more than 33 000 radio stations around the world. He also predicted that heavier-than-air flying machines were impossible. The Wright Brother’s first flight covered a distance equal to only half the length of the wingspan of a Boeing 747. He also said, “X-rays will prove to be a hoax.” In the early 20th century a world market for only 4 million automobiles was predicted because “the world would run out of chauffeurs.” Shortly after the end of World War II (1945), the whole of Volkswagen, factory and patents, was offered free to Henry Ford II. He dismissed the Volkswagen Beetle as a bad design. Today, more than 70 million motorcars are produced every year. The Beetle became one of the best-selling vehicles of all time. The telephone was not widely appreciated for the first 15 years because people did not see a use for

it. In fact, in the British parliament it was mentioned there was no need for telephones because “we have enough messengers here.” Western Union believed that it could never replace the telegraph. In 1876, an internal memo read: “This telephone has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication.” Even Mark Twain, upon being invited by Alexander Graham Bell to invest $5 000 in the new invention, could not see a future in the telephone. Irish scientist, Dr. Dionysius Lardner (1793 – 1859) didn’t believe that trains could contribute much in speedy transport. He wrote: “Rail travel at high speed is not possible, because passengers ‘ would die of asphyxia’ [suffocation].” Today, trains reach speeds of 500 km/h. In 1927, H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, asked, “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” In 1936, Radio Times editor Rex Lambert thought “Television won’t matter in your lifetime or mine.”

Kvisoft FlipBook Maker Pro Page Flip Software to Embed Multimedia to Pages Kvisoft Flipbook Maker Pro is a profession type of page flip software to convert your PDF files to page-turning digital publications. The powerful page editing functions allows you to embed videos, images, audio, hyperlinks, hotspots and more multimedia objects to the output flipping pages. Creating multimedia page flipping books makes so easy with this flip page software!

Professional PDF page flip software Kvisoft Flipbook Maker Pro provides you an professional way to integrate hyperlinks, videos, images, sounds, clipcart and more multimeida objects to your output flipping page books. A nice program to make digital publicatiions.

Brand new Interface, more easy-to-use The new-designed Flipbook Maker makes it more intuitive for users. Once opening the page flip software, you will see four main buttons: Add File, Edit Page, Design and Publish. Well, the flipping book creation work is so easy within only four steps.

Import multiple type files Besides importing PDF files to flipbook, you also can import Flash movies (.flv, f4v, mp4 and .swf), images (.jpg, .png, .bmp, .jpeg, gif) as flipping book pages. So, it would be a nice application to make photo flipping books and video flipping books.

Integrate Multimedia objects to PDF pages Adding multimedia to your PDF pages is very simple. You can add text, hyperlinks, video (YouTube video included), Flash movie, images, hotspot, clipart, and sound to output PDF flipping pages and enrich your output PDF flipping book. Download the fully-functional 30-day trial version of Kvisoft FlipBook Maker Pro

In 1943, Thomas Watson, the chairman of IBM forecast a world market for “maybe only five computers.” Years before IBM launched the personal computer in 1981, Xerox had already successfully designed and used PCs internally… but decided to concentrate on the production of photocopiers. Even Ken Olson, founder of Digital Equipment Corporation, said in 1977, “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” After the invention of the transistor in 1947, several US electronics companies rejected the idea of a portable radio. Apparently it was thought nobody would want to carry a radio around. When Bell put the transistor on the market in 1952 they had few takers apart from a small Japanese start-up called Sony. They introduced the transistor radio in 1954. In 1954, a concert manager fired Elvis Presley, saying, “You ought to go back to driving a truck.” In 1962, Decca Records rejected the Beatles, “We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” Sometimes a few decimal places make a massive difference. Investment banks rely on computer models to direct trading activity; in August 2007, Goldman Sachs’s hedge funds and other quant funds were left exposed by a series of market swings, each of which their software predicted

would occur only once every 100,000 years. Goldman Sachs required a $3 billion (€1.9 billion) bailout, with other banks joining the hand-out queue. In 1966, Time Magazine predicted, “By 2000, the machines will be producing so much that everyone in the U.S. will, in effect, be independently wealthy.” In that year too CoCo Chanel said about miniskirts: “It’s a bad joke that won’t last. Not with winter coming.” Perhaps the guy who got it wrong most was the commissioner of the US Office of Patents: in 1899, Charles H. Duell, assured President McKinley that “everything that can be invented has been invented.” To prophesy is extremely difficult – especially with regard to the future – Chinese proverb

10 Essential Free Software Every New Computer Should Have

etting a new computer is always a pain. There’s so much to move over, so much to install, so many programmes to buy. Save yourself the googling and the money with our nifty guide to ten free software any computer needs.

OpenOffice

Paint.Net

Forget Microsoft Office. What you need is a word processor, not a brand. Save on the money and the pain of cd-keys and other authentication matters by using the open-source suite, Open Office. It can do nearly everything Microsoft Office can, and can even save files in .doc formats.

Need to do basic photo editing but can’t afford the crazy prices of Adobe Suite? Try Paint.Net, a lightweight photoshop stand in that can do most basic edits. If its inbuilt tools are not enough, take a look at the user-populated plugin forum.

Avast! Antivirus

Anti-virus software doesn’t have to cost hundreds of dollars. Use a free one like the Avast Antivirus home edition. It also updates for free on a nearly daily basis, keeping you up to date and protected at all times.

Firefox or Chrome

Either one of these wildly popular internet browsers will do the trick. Download them for free from either the Mozilla or Chrome site. Just don’t rely on Internet Explorer…

VLC Player

CutePDF

Want to watch that DVD in bed, but don’t have a tv in your bedroom? Install VLC Player on your computer and enjoy movies played through your cpu! Daemon Tools With laptops and the like coming thinner and thinner nowadays, it looks like the CD-ROM drive is destined for the rubbish heap. Fortunately, you needn’t have to worry about how you’re going to run the latest software, with the virtual disc emulator, Daemon Tools.

Ever wondered how PDFs were created? ‘Print’ yours in style with a nifty PDF creator – it’s very useful, especially for home offices. Adobe Acrobat Reader Now what’s the use of creating a PDF file if you can’t open it? Most documents downloaded from online are in PDF format anyway, so make sure you have something that can read them.

Skype 7-Zip Need a zip software but don’t want to pay for it? 7-Zip is open source, and is a great little file compressor.

Chat with your significant others or friends around the world with Skype, a free PC-to-PC Voice Over IP programme. You can also make PC-to-Phone calls at much cheaper rates compared to typical land lines.

Why is a hotdog called a hotdog?

n 1987, Frankfurt, Germany celebrated the 500th birthday of the frankfurter, the hot dog sausage. Although, the people of Vienna (Wien), Austria will point out that their wiener sausages are proof of origin for the hot dog. (By the way, ham, being pork meat, is found in hotdogs.) In “Every wonder why?” Douglas B. Smith explains that the hotdog was given its name by a cartoonist. A butcher from Frankfurt who owned a dachshund named the long frankfurter sausage a “dachshund sausage,” the dachshund being a slim dog with a long body. (“Dachshund” is German for “badger dog.” They were originally bred for hunting badgers.) German immigrants introduced the dachshund sausage (and Hamburg meat) to the United States. In 1871, German butcher Charles Feltman opened the first “hotdog” stand in Coney Island, selling 3,684 dachshund sausages, most wrapped in a milk bread roll, during his first year in business. In the meantime, frankfurters – and wieners – were sold as hot food by sausage sellers. In 1901, New York Times cartoonist T.A. Dargan noticed that one sausage seller used bread buns to handle the hot sausages after he burnt his fingers and decided to illustrate the incident. He wasn’t sure of the spelling of dachshund and simply called it “hot dog.”

Why is it called a hamburger although it contains no ham?

uring a trip to Asia in the early 1800s, a German merchant – it is said – noticed that the nomadic Tartars softened their meat by keeping it under their saddles. The motion of the horse pounded the meat to bits. The Tartars would then scrape it together and season it for eating. The idea of pounded beef found its way back to the merchant’s home town of Hamburg where cooks broiled the meat and referred to it as it as Hamburg meat. However, there is another claim to that throne. There is an account of Frank and Charles Menches who, also in 1885, went to the Hamburg, New York county fair to prepare their famous pork sausage sandwiches. But since the local meat market was out of pork sausage, they used ground beef instead. Alas, another hamburger. And, no, a hamburger does not have any ham in it. Well, it’s not supposed to. Hamburger meat usually is made of 70-80% beef and fat and spices. German immigrants introduced the recipe to the US. The term “hamburger” is believed to have appeared in 1834 on the menu from a restaurant in New York. The first mention in print of “Hamburg steak” was made in 1884 in the Boston Evening Journal.

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Really Now!

Things we do that is not permissable according to law Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s admit it. Given the opportunity, we do things that is not lawful, to say the least. Or due to the fact that it is done almost indiscriminately, we have come to accept it as permissable. Well, unfortunately, it is still illegal. Listed on these pages are some, very common things we do that is not (ugh!) permissable under any law.

Break the speed limit Litter

Turning without using turn signals

Download Music

Jaywalking

Use unsecured WiFi without owner's permission

Deface currency

Bike without a helmet

Human Head and Brain Size

he human head contains 22 bones, consisting the cranium and the facial bones. The cranium is formed by 8 bones: the frontal bone, two parietal bones, two temporal bones, the occipital bone in the back, the ethmoid bone behind the nose, and the sphenoid bone. The face consists of 14 bones including the maxilla (upper jaw) and mandible (lower jaw). (The skull has many little holes in its base which allow the cranial nerves to travel to their destinations.) The cranium protects the brain, which, for an average adult male weighs about 1400 gram (49 oz). The brain of Russian novelist Turgenev, weighed 2021g (71 oz), Bismarck’s brain weighed 1807g (64 oz), while that of famous French statesman Gambetta was 1294g (46 oz). Female average brain mass is slightly less than that of males. The largest woman’s brain recorded weighed 1742g (61 oz). Einstein’s brain weighed 1230 gram (43.39 ounces), meaning Einstein’s brain was smaller than average. An elephant’s brain weighs 5000g (176oz or 11 lb), a whale’s 10000g (352oz or 22lb). In proportion to the body, the whale has a much smaller brain than man. This seem to give man the edge, until it was discovered that the dwarf monkey has 1g of brain per 27g (0.95oz) of body, and the capuchin monkey has 1g of brain per 17,5g body, whereas man has 1 gram of brain to 44g of body.

Photographic memory Most scientists believe that “photographic memory” is a myth. Clever people train their brains to

remember well. In fact, as humans we simply do not remember things well. Of the three beings known to be able to recognize themselves in the mirror, the orangutan, the dolphin and the human, only the latter turns around and instantly cannot remember what his/her own face looks like. (Try drawing a picture of yourself without looking in the mirror:)

Ummm... Let me cut off a part of your head to determine the size of your brain...

an m , y a No w

energy than any other organ, burning up a whopping 20% of the food we take in. The left side of your brain controls the right side of your body and the right side of your brain controls the left side of your body. It is estimated that the mental capacity of a 100year old human with perfect memory could be represented by computer with 10 to the power of 15 bits (one petabit). At the current rate of computer chip development, that figure can be reached in about 35 years. However, that represents just memory capacity, not the extremely complex processes of thought creation and emotions.

The seeing brain Brain power The human brains consists of more than 100 billion neurons (nerve cells) through which the brainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s commands are sent in the form of electric pulses. These pulses travel at more than 400 km/h (250 mph), creating enough electricity to power a light bulb. The brain consumes more

One-quarter of the brains in used to control the eye. We actually see with our brains, with the eyes basically being cameras. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206. But consider this: for all the complexity of the brain, you still have only one thought at a time. Make it a positive thought.

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Joining won’t take more than 5 minutes of your time. There’s some nifty help tips there to help you get in your way (http:// www.zurker.ph/update-247687-17). Plus, plus, plus -- there’s also the possibility of becoming a co-owner of Zurker (while it is still in the beta stage -- so hurry!). Isn’t that great combining socializing, tweeting, blogging and becoming an owner of the site? This is what you can call mixing business with pleasure! IMPORTANT: Membership is strict because they are giving equity. Remember, nobody else does this! You can only join through invitation like this at http://www.zurker.ph/i-247687pvyubluqgq . Make sure you complete all requirements (e-mail validation -- up to placement of your picture/ avatar) or your membership will not be counted.

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man was crying profusely and wailing “WHY, WHY, WHY?” a number of times over a grave, bystanders couldn’t help but symphatize with the grieving man. On a brief lull, one onlooker managed to ask the grieving man regarding his relation to the deceased. Sorry for your loss. Is she someone very dear to you?

????

No, “he” is not. Oh, I’m sorry. Is he your brother? No. Friend? No. Officemate? No. Cousin? Neighbor? Priest? Neither. I don’t even know him. Huh! Why then are you wailing like that over his grave? He’s my wife’s first husband.... WHY?!!! Why did you have to die (sob!)!

! ! ? Y H W

Who Invented the Paperclip?

hen Johann Vaaler patented his paper clip in 1901, there already were similar designs on the books. William Middlebrook of Waterbury, Connecticut patented his design in 1899. Cornelius Brosnan of Springfield, Massachusetts patented his Konaclip in 1900. So, who was first to invent the paper clip? Well, it is thought to be Johann Vaaler. Drawings of his design date to early 1899, but since Norway had no patent law at the time he had to seek patent rights in Germany and the US in the following years. Johann Vaaler was born on 15 March 1866 in Aurskog, Norway. Known as an innovator in his youth, he graduated in electronics, science and mathematics. He was employed by the owner of an invention

office when he invented the paper clip in 1899. Several designs followed the original. Only a few remain, such as the Ideal, Non-Skid, Owl and Gem. The first double-oval clip, the Gem, was launched in early-1900 by Gem Manufacturing Ltd of England. The paper clip remains as one of the most-used items of all time.

Whatever...

Ga-zurks! Photoshop blunders!

Uh-oh... I think I cut my hands earlier. My-oh-my! Beyonce's got a 3rd arm.

A new body for Eddie Van Halen? Six people... 5 reflections... duh!

OMG - The players are disappearing! An endless mouth.

I think am missing a leg somewhere...

Look at that! 8Gb topside and a 4Gb reflection. Toinks! Oh great! How can I shoot without my shooting finger?

man has six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. When a man says he’s ready to go out, it means he’s ready to go out.

When a woman says she’s ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her earrings, finishes putting on her makeup A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings, funerals. Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, before he’ll do his laundry. When he’s finally out of clothes, he’ll wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out and take his mountain of clothes to the launderette. Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweat socks. Women wear strange socks. Socks that are cut way below the ankles, that have pictures of clouds, that have a big fuzzy ball on the back. Men see the phone as a communication tool. They use the phone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours. Women prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men

Mirror, mirror

What’s DIFFERENCE

Men Wom

consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay. Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he was wrong was General Custer. Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and silly and impractical. Examples of men’s toys: little miniature TV’s, car phones, graphic equalizers and video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 “AA” batteries to operate. A woman asks a man to water her plants while she’s on holiday.

on the wall,

s the E between

n& men?

The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to a house full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits.

ing.

Women have two types: depressing and more depress-

Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleep next to a man. Men

are like portable heaters that snore. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I’ve never seen a man walk into a party and say “Oh, my God, I’m so embarrassed, get me out of here. There’s another man wearing a black jacket.” Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he’s serious. When four or more men get together, they talk about football. When four or more women get together, they talk about men. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie ‘THE WAY WE WERE’ twice, voluntarily. If a man says, “I’ll call you,” and he doesn’t, he didn’t forget... he didn’t lose your number... he didn’t die. He just didn’t want to call you. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. “Get out” and “I never want to see you again” might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, try saying, “I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children.” Sometimes they leave skid marks. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flushes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles. Men forget everything, women remember everything. That’s why men need instant replays in sports. They’ve already forgotten what happened. Women especially love a bargain. The question of “need” is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game. Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the wardrobe, you

“just don’t understand”. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had an “on/off” switch. Women think all beer is the same. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice. If a woman goes on a seven-day trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing each day.”Oh, nothing,” has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language. All women are overweight by definition, don’t argue with them about it. All women are overweight by definition, don’t agree with them about it. If it’s not Valentines day, and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, “What did you do?” Women never check to see if the toilet seat is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying leap towards the bowl and then bawling men out because they “left the seat up” instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and football games and romances and best friends and favourite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about “The Ceremony”. Men talk about “The Stag Night”. Women look good in hats, men look like dicks. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she’s having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

e h t Feel

! l l i thr

! t n e m e t i x e e Feel th ! h s u r n i l a n e r d Feel the a

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Reflect

READiculous ! The best way to get even is to forget... Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death... God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts... Some folks wear their halos much too tightly...

Some marriages are made in heaven, but they ALL have to be maintained on earth... Unless you can create the WHOLE universe in 5 days, then perhaps giving “advice” to God isn’t such a good idea!

Standing in the middle of the road is dangerous. You will get Sorrow looks back, worry knocked down by the traffic looks around, and faith from both ways.

looks up...

Words are windows to the heart.

tion

tion A skeptic is a person who, when To forgive is to set the prisoner free, and then discover the he sees the handwriting on the prisoner was you. wall, claims it’s a forgery. It isn’t difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill just add a little dirt. A successful marriage isn’t finding the right person-it’s being the right person.

You have to wonder about humans, they think God is dead and Elvis is alive! It’s all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.

The mighty oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground.

Too many people offer God prayers, with claw marks all over them. The tongue must be heavy indeed, because so few people can hold it.

You’ll notice that a turtle only makes progress when it sticks outits neck... If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you canbet the water bill is higher. And last but not least — God gave the angels Wings, and He gave humans CHOCOLATE.

REMEMBER • Remember that your presence is a present to the world.

• Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

• Remember that you are a unique • Remember that the longer you and unrepeatable creation. carry a grudge, the heavier it gets. • Remember that your life can be • Remember not to take things too what you want it to be. seriously. • Remember to take the days just • Remember to laugh. one at a time. • Remember to count your blessings, not your troubles.

• Remember that a little goes a long way.

• Remember that you’ll make it through whatever comes along.

• Remember that a lot goes forever.

• Remember that most of the answers you need are within you.

• Remember that happiness is more often found in giving than getting.

• Remember those dreams waiting to be realized. • Remember that decisions are too important to leave to chance. • Remember to always reach for the best that is within you. • Remember that nothing wastes more energy than worry

• Remember that life’s treasures are people, not things. — Author Unknown

How many moments are you willing to lose?

Easy Stress Busters

ost of this list is plain old common sense, something that tends to be in short supply when we’re all too busy rushing around to even think about thinking straight.

K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut) This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

Go to bed on time.

Write thoughts and inspirations down.

Get up on time to start the day unrushed.

Every day, find time to be alone.

Do something for the kid in you every day. Every single thing really does need its own place.

Say “No” to projects that won’t fit into your time Try to nip small problems in the bud. schedule, or will compromise your mental health. Laugh. Laugh some more. Delegate tasks to capable others. Take your work seriously, but yourself not at all. Simplify and unclutter your life. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doLess is more. (Although one is often not enough, ing the best they can). two are often too many.) Be kind to unkind people. Bonus: It’ll drive ‘em Allow extra time to do things and to get to places. nuts. Remember it takes two to argue. Keep saying, “I understand and agree completely,” and Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difnothing else, over and over. ficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together. Sit on your ego. Talk less - listen more. Take one day at a time. Separate worries from concerns. If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it. Live within your budget; don’t use credit cards for ordinary purchases. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.,

Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe. Every night before bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for that you’ve never been grateful for before.

Van Dykeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Beautiful Thought

re you willing to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you, and to think what you owe the world; to put your rights in the background, and your duties in the middle distance, and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; to see that your fellow-men are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; to own that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe, and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness --are you willing to do all of these things even for a day? Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness

of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts, and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open --are you willing to do all of these things even for a day? Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world--stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death--and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? --are you willing to do all of these things even for a day?

And if you keep it for a day, why not always?

Let Us Stay

Connected!

G N NI

A E L C

T U O

S T E S

O L C R

U O

here comes a time when we must clean out the closets of our life so that we may have room for items that will enhance our life. Let’s search the closets of our lives and make a trip to the wastebasket. Throw away any hatred that may be lurking there and be sure to toss jealousy, bad attitudes , dishonesty , complaints , sin, and hypocrisy . Before you finish, throw away that grudge you have been holding against someone.

There’s room now to add love , honesty, forgiveness and kindness - not to mention thankfulness for all of God’s blessings. Go on and make room for reverence and respect to God from whom all good and perfect gifts come. ...Better, isn’t it? Take a moment today to spring clean your heart. Ask God to come in and if He finds anything else that shouldn’t be there, Take it out so that you can live holy and right! - Author Unknown

For Everything

There is a Season

or everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a

I know that whatever God does endures for ever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for he has appointed a time for every matter, and for every work. I said in my heart with regard to the sons of men that God is testing them to show them that they are but beasts.

time to keep, and a time to cast For the fate of the sons of men away; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a and the fate of beasts is the same; time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. as one dies, so dies the other. They all have the same breath, and man has no What gain has the worker from his toil? God has advantage over the beasts; for all is vanity. made everything beautiful in its time; also he has All go to one place; all are from the dust, put eternity into man’s mind, yet so that he can- and all turn to dust again. not find out what God has done from the beginSo I saw that there is nothing better than ning to the end. that a man should enjoy his work, for that I know that there is nothing better for them than is his lot; who can bring him to see what to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they will be after him? live; also that it is God’s gift to man that every one should eat and drink and take pleasure in all When you’re down to nothing, God is up to something.” his toil.

a bout Achy muscles from bleof the flu? - Mix 1 Ta ish in spoon of horserad et the 1 cup of olive oil. L inutes, mixture sit for 30 m assage then apply it as m f for oil, for instant relie aching muscles.

Honey remedy for skin blemishes ... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a BandAid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.

Sore t hr mix 1/4 oat? - Just c egar w up of vinTo prevent the screws in i eyeglasses from loosenhoney th 1/4 cup o f a ing, apply a small drop blespo nd take 1 ta o of Maybelline Crystal day. T n six times he a Clear nail polish to the the ba vinegar kil ls cteria threads of the screws . before tightening them.

na Chewing o icur couple of g Alously stron mints per toids pep up your will clear se stuffed no

thColgate too s paste make an excellent ns. salve for bur

ct a spline f a n e i is ov ter, d m s e i l o r a T o b T ur ken few st po r’s o u j r , r b e t n a sterlme o E f b o i e a d drop ll over th of L rful s p A dro powe Glue- r, let dry, a d e ine eptic. splint el the drie s e anti and p f the skin. f glue o u can’t o y u o y If iinsect e h t d fin a spray y r t , e . cid g liquid n i n a le of c to s drop t c e s n I und ino r g e h t . stantly

Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in It will make your toenails looking healthy again.

Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately.

Just dis so tablets lve two o Seltzer f Alkain a gla ss of wat er and drink it to cure urinary tr fection act ins. r ega n i v z by Hein bruises n l hea a cotto soak white pa in ball ar and e g h vine it to t ur. g o plyin e for 1 h s brui

Kills fleas instantly by adding a few drops of dish washing liquid to your dog’s bath. Shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well.

Next ti come me your d og s rain, s in from the imply w the a nimal ipe down wi dryer sheet th any ,i makin g you nstantly r dog spring smell time fresh .

Post-It-Notes

The Beggar

O O

ne day a woman was walking down the street when she spied a beggar sitting in the corner. The man was unshaven and ragged. As he sat there, pedestrians walked by him giving him dirty looks. They clearly wanted nothing to do with him because of who he was — a dirty, homeless man. But when she saw him, the woman was moved to compassion.

officer,” the woman answered. “I’m just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?”

It was very cold that day and the man had his tattered coat — more like an old suit coat rather than a warm coat — wrapped around him. She stopped and looked down. “Sir?” she asked. “Are you all right?”

“Are you crazy, lady?” the homeless man resisted. “I don’t want to go in there!” Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. “Let me go, officer. I didn’t do anything.”

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before. “Leave me alone,” he growled. To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling — her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. “Are you hungry?” she asked. “No,” he answered sarcastically. “I’ve just come from dining with the president.” The woman’s smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. “What are you doing, lady?” the man asked angrily. “I said to leave me alone.” Just then a policeman came up. “Is there any problem, ma’am?” he asked. “No problem here,

The officer scratched his head. “That’s old Jack. He’s been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?” “See that cafeteria over there?” she asked. “I’m going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.”

“This is a good deal for you, Jack,” the officer answered. “Don’t blow it.” Finally, and with some

difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by the table. “What’s going on here, officer?” he asked. “What is all this. Is this man in trouble?”

“What business is that of yours?” “I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.” “Oh.”

“This lady brought this man in here to be fed,” the policeman answered.

The woman smiled again. “I thought that might make a difference.” She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. “Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?”

“Not in here!” the manager replied angrily. “Having a person like that here is bad for business.”

“No thanks, ma’am,” the officer replied. “I’m on duty.”

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. “See, lady. I told you so. Now if you’ll let me go. I didn’t want to come here in the first place.”

“Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?”

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. “Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?” “Of course I am,” the manager answered impatiently. “They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.” “And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?”

“Yes, ma’am. That would be very nice.” The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. “I’ll get your coffee for you right away, officer.” The officer watched him walk away. “You certainly put him in his place,” he said. “That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.” She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently. “Jack, do you remember me?” Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes “I think so — I mean you do look familiar.”

“I’m a little older perhaps,” she said. “Maybe I’ve even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.” “Ma’am?” the officer said questioningly. He couldn’t believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry. “I was just out of college,” the woman began. “I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn’t find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.”

place to live until you get on your feet. And if you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you.” There were tears in the old man’s eyes. “How can I ever thank you,” he said. “Don’t thank me,” the woman answered. “To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus. He led me to you.” Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. “Thank you for all your help, officer,” she said. “On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,” he answered. “Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And... and thank you for the coffee.”

Jack lit up with a smile. “Now I remember,” he said. “I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something She frowned. “I forgot to ask you whether to eat. I said that it was against company policy.” you used crème or sugar. That’s black.” “I know,” the woman continued. “Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register. I knew then that everything would be all right.” “So you started your own business?” Old Jack said. “I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered.” She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. “When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He’s the personnel director of my company. I’ll go talk to him now and I’m certain he’ll find something for you to do around the office.” She smiled. “I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a

The officer looked at the steaming cup of coffee in his hand. “Yes, I do take crème and sugar — perhaps more sugar than is good for me.” He patted his ample stomach. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t need it now,” he replied smiling. “I’ve got the feeling that this coffee you bought me is going to taste as sweet as sugar.” If you have missed knowing a person, you have missed nothing. If you have missed some of your emails, you have missed a laugh. But, if you have missed knowing the LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, you have missed everything in the world.

He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love. 1John 4:8

The

Doll

and the

Rose

was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying “I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy This doll.” Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ‘’Granny, are you sure I don’t have enough money?” The old lady replied: ‘’You know that you don’t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.’’ Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly .The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. “It’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.” I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. “No, Santa Claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to

my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.”

ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the Doll and a White Rose.’’

His eyes were so sad while saying this. “My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.’’

“My Mommy loves White Roses.”

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: “I told Daddy to tell Mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.” Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me “I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won’t forget me.” “I love my Mommy and I wish she doesn’t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.” Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. “What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?’’ “OK” he said “I hope that I have enough.” I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: “Thank you God for giving me enough money!” Then he looked at me and added “I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!’’ “I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn’t dare to

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little Girl. The little girl died right away, and the Mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the Life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away. I couldn’t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was there for people to view and make last wishes before the burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

LIKE T

General Interesting NOT Facts

Plastic lawn flamingos outnumber real flamingos in the U.S.A. Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel with over 50,000 words, none of which containing the letter â&#x20AC;&#x153;e.â&#x20AC;? Apples are more effective at keeping people awake in the morning than caffeine. The largest pumpkin weighed 377 pounds. The largest cabbage weighed 144 pounds. Pinocchio was made of pine. Alfred Hitchcock had no belly button for it was eliminated during surgery. A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. Cranberry Jell-0 is the only kind that contains real fruit. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

n elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career. When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. “This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you.” What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized, we would have done it differently. Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

The Carpenter

1. Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities. 2. Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass. 3. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this. 4. Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway. 5. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.

7. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now! 8. Thou shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It is hard to learn something new when you are talking, and some people do know more than you do. 9. Thou shall not become “bogged down” by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.

10. Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for 6. Thou shall not borrow other peo- a lot of small blessings add up to a ple’s problems. They can better care big one ~By Ruth Bourdon~ for them than you can.

E B S I H T T E L T ’ N O D , T S E R O F N I A SAVE OUR RL WARMING. STOP GLOBA

E R U T U OUR F

The

“Present”

wo men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those

one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band - he could see it. In his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy. “Today is a gift, that’s why it is called the present.” Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

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There

is always r m for

m re!