603 LIVING / SENIORITY
Late-life Crisis It’s real and no laughing matter BY LYNNE SNIERSON / ILLUSTRATION BY MADELINE McMAHON
E
veryone jokes about the mid-life crisis where that guy between the ages of 40 and 50 buys the expensive red sports car, carries on an extramarital affair, and dons the gaudy jewelry and ill-fitting toupée. But did you know that the late-life crisis is a real thing? Clinical research in Europe and the United States has found that one in every three people aged 60 and older will experience a legitimate late-life crisis, and the
94 New Hampshire Magazine | May 2022
event is not gender-specific. It affects men and women equally, and it’s no laughing matter. “Late-life crisis is real. Absolutely. It’s probably more so than the mid-life crisis, which isn’t research-based. The mid-life crisis is trendy for people to talk about and something they think they feel, but the late-life crisis is researched with case studies. There are many case studies showing that the late-life crisis is very common,” says Emily Simonian, the head of clinical learning for Thriveworks, a
national therapy and counseling practice with 301 locations, including one in Bedford. “This is a big topic right now,” adds the licensed marriage and family therapist. “In my practice, I counsel clients experiencing this.” With life expectancy at 79.05 years in the United States in 2022 and the population continuing to age rapidly, the numbers of seniors finding themselves in this predicament will only increase. That’s especially true in New Hampshire, which ranks among the oldest states in the nation and continues to be one of the fastest-aging states. So, what exactly is a late-life crisis? When you find you’re dwelling on the past and focused on looking through the rearview mirror so that you can’t see what’s on the horizon or be optimistic about what’s in store for you down the road, you’re in trouble. That’s according to the recently published book “Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old? The Path of Purposeful Aging” by Richard A. Leider and David A. Shapiro. You feel lost, lonely and, even worse, irrelevant and invisible. You’re stressed and maybe living daily life with the mind-numbing drudgery of having no sense of purpose, and you feel sad, likely desperate, or perhaps panicky in response to the challenges of aging, write Leider and Shapiro. Most often, you’re regretful that your life didn’t turn out to be what you had wished, hoped or dreamed it would be at this stage, and you’re contemplating your mortality while watching the sands sift through the hourglass faster. “In terms of symptoms, we see a lot of emotional and behavioral problems that are coming up. Specifically, there’s anxiety, depression, loss of identity, loss of a sense of self-worth, disengagement from friends or family or any type of social support, disengagement from activities that they used to enjoy, or feeling a sense of hopelessness,” says Simonian. “These are the things that could be experienced. It’s not that everyone is experiencing all these things, but maybe a combination of some or many of them is what we’re typically seeing. That’s the same for any life crisis.” Nevertheless, the Covid-19 pandemic with its associated anxieties, isolation, depression, losses, and the element of fear in an already
