Parenting NH June 2019

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COMPLIMENTARY

The

where we live issue

JUNE 2019

Elliot Hospital: Ask the Pediatric Surgeon

Dear Dr. Soukup, My 15-year-old son wakes up every morning with nausea, and eating food causes pain under the middle of his ribcage. We have been to urgent care many times, but they always say his gallbladder looks okay. What else could this be? - Patty S.

Dear Patty,

I see kids with chronic abdominal pain more and more frequently these days. It is particularly frustrating for kids and families because tests are often normal and these symptoms interfere with school attendance, activities, and overall quality of life. Several months ago, I wrote on this topic focusing on unusual symptoms related to the appendix. I similarly see many kids of all ages who have developed symptoms related to their gallbladder, even when test results are normal. Of course, part of the evaluation of a child with abdominal pain is to discuss dietary sensitivities, constipation, and stomach problems such as gastritis. Input from your pediatrician or a pediatric gastroenterologist can be very helpful. But, I never completely rule out the gallbladder when the “story fits.” Classic symptoms related to the gallbladder are nausea, vomiting and upper abdominal pain. Although the gallbladder lives under the right side of your ribcage, symptoms can often be located in the middle of the upper abdomen, or wrap around to the back and shoulder. Many times this pain is made worse right after eating, particularly fatty foods. An ultrasound is the best initial test for the gallbladder and is very good at looking for gallstones. If gallstones are seen, along with the symptoms you mentioned, it is very appropriate to discuss removal of the gallbladder (called “cholecystectomy”), so that more serious problems are avoided.

Bile is made in the liver and is stored in the gallbladder, so digestion can still happen normally after the gallbladder is removed. There are situations, however, where the gallbladder can cause symptoms in the absence of gallstones. For reasons that we don’t fully understand, the gallbladder may not squeeze or empty normally (called “biliary dyskinesia”). This can cause significant pain and nausea, particularly in response to eating fatty foods. Some tests can help us look at the “function” of a gallbladder (called a HIDA test), but removal of the child’s gallbladder may be necessary as a last resort, to see if symptoms resolve. This procedure is done laparoscopically and kids are able to go home the same day! Although it is one of the most common general surgical procedures done in this country, I never take it lightly. It is important to walk through these difficult decisions with families, so they can make the best choice for their child. Some children feel better after the gallbladder has been removed, even when their workup was normal. Allowing kids to get back to their normal life and activities is always our goal. Thanks for your question! Dr. Soukup #askthepediatricsurgeon askthepediatricsurgeon@elliot-hs.org

Elizabeth S. Soukup, M.D., M.M.Sc. Pediatric Surgeon

Dr. Soukup is a Pediatric Surgeon at the Elliot Hospital and has an interest in educating families about pediatric health and wellness. Her mission is to provide expert specialty care for children of all ages in New Hampshire – newborns through teenagers – striving to keep them close to their families and communities. If you would like more information, call 603-663-8393 for an appointment, or visit our website at http://elliothospital.org/website/pediatric-surgery.php. Check out her previous articles at #askthepediatricsurgeon. Dr. Soukup earned her Bachelor of Science from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and her Doctor of Medicine from the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine, where she received the Outstanding Achievement Award in Medicine, graduating first in her class. She completed her General Surgery training at the Massachusetts General Hospital and her fellowship in Pediatric Surgery at Children’s Hospital Boston. During her time in Boston, she also completed a Masters of Medical Sciences degree in clinical investigation

Please send your questions to: askthepediatricsurgeon@elliot-hs.org

from Harvard Medical School. She was awarded Elliot Hospital’s “Physician of the year” for 2018. She is board-certified in both Pediatric Surgery and General Surgery. She has specialized training and experience in minimally invasive surgical treatment for babies, children and teenagers. Her practice includes all areas of general pediatric surgery, including common pediatric surgical problems as well as neonatal surgery, congenital anomalies, minimally invasive surgery, and complex thoracic surgical problems.

INSIDE features

The changing New Hampshire family Families are becoming more diverse, and the trend will continue.

16 A refugee family’s story Starting a new life with the help of the Manchester community.

departments

JUNE 2019 20 Unlock the door to home ownership What you need to know before you buy your first home in New Hampshire.

28 30 random facts about the Granite State People, places and things that make the state unique.

34 Find a food truck festival 12 to check out this summer.

3 From the editor’s desk

4 The short list 6 I want that 40 Dad on board 41 House calls 42 Out & about 44 Time out

ON THE COVER: From left, Amy Nelson with Cayden, 4½ years, and Brian Nelson with Cameron, 17 months, of Brentwood; Brian, Morgen, and Lilly Connor, 5, of Hooksett. Photo taken Monday, May 6, 2019, in Goffstown. Luke Connor, 3, is pictured at left. Photos by Kendal J. Bush (www.kendaljbush.com).

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from the editor’s desk HOME IS MORE THAN WHERE YOU LIVE In this month’s Where We Live issue, I wanted to try to answer the question: What is home? By definition, home is the physical place where you live. It is where we make our meals, spend time with our families, watch Netflix and lay our heads. But it is also a feeling. Home is a feeling that you are comfortable, secure, and that you belong. Home is more than a house or apartment; it’s loved ones, friends, co-workers, and our neighbors. The people we choose to surround ourselves with strengthen our attachment to where we live, creating a home. More than 1.3 million people are making a home in New Hampshire. Some were born here, but the majority of those who live in the Granite State moved here. As the mill economy took hold in the late-19th and early-20th centuries, immigrants came here to work. After the southern portion of Interstate 93 was completed in the early 1960s, even more made their way here. While migration isn’t anywhere near where it was during those periods, high-skilled jobs are still attracting many to New Hampshire. Families are also relocating for a highly ranked education system, a yearning to live “outside of the city,” good health care, a broad selection of recreational opportunities, the state’s “Live Free or Die” reputation and the absence of an income and sales tax. And yes, even our (theoretical) four seasons. But no matter how and why you got here, why people stay has a lot to do with the safe communities they live in, the schools their kids go to, and the people with whom they form strong bonds in their communities. It’s a state where neighbors still help neighbors and people volunteer their time to support local causes — in fact, New Hampshire is known as one of the most charitable states to live in. It’s still possible to live in a town — even a large one -— and have the postal clerk, the librarian, even the Dunkin’ employees, know you by your first name. As the Southern tier grows, New Hampshire looks a lot different than it did when I was growing up. My hometown, with a population that has expanded by 15,000 since I first moved there in the 1980s, is almost unrecognizable in places. But many of the people I grew up with — and now their families — still make Derry their home. The landscape may change, but the people stay the same. And they stay.

contributors • JUNE MELANIE PLENDA is an award-winning freelance journalist and mom based in Keene. Her work has appeared in The Atlantic.com, The Daily Beast, American Baby, and Parents.com among other media outlets. In 2019, she won a silver award from the Parenting Media Association for her two-part series on the use of restraints and seclusion in NH schools.

BILL BURKE has been writing the gold-award winning Dad on Board column since 2008 and is the author of the Mousejunkies series. When he isn’t at Disney World, he’s the managing editor for custom publications at McLean Communications in Manchester.

KRYSTEN GODFREY MADDOCKS has worked as a journalist and a marketing director, and now regularly writes for higher education and technology organizations in New Hampshire and Massachusetts. Mom to 4-year-old Everett, she has lived on the Seacoast for the past 20 years.

MELANIE HITCHCOCK, EDITOR

www.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 3

the short list

ONLY ON WWW.PARENTINGNH.COM:

SPEND TIME WITH DAD It’s time to start thinking about what you are going to do with dad on Father’s Day weekend, June 1516. With summer settling in, there will be plenty of activities and events to choose from. Many local attractions even offer free admission for dad when another ticket is purchased. For a complete list of where you can go for an unforgettable outing, check out ParentingNH ’s Father’s Day events page sponsored by Chuckster’s.

for even more fun ParentingNH.com

facebook.com/ParentingNH

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twitter.com/ParentingNH

ParentingNH ’s Top Teachers honored The New Hampshire Fisher Cats hosted ParentingNH’s Top Teachers for 2018 at Northeast Delta Dental Stadium in Manchester on May 5. With students, colleagues and families in attendance, they were recognized with a trophy ceremony on the field before the game. Pictured following the ceremony are teachers Holly Lubelczyk, Lena Madden, Matt Bryant and Kathleen Pappalardo (missing from photo, Sri Sankar). Look for details about this year’s contest coming this fall.

ENTER TO WIN: THE FUN PASS Enter to win The Fun Pass from Breathe NH — a book of discounts, coupons and deals for attractions, museums and amusement parks totaling $2,000. You’ll find deals for more than 100 of New England’s favorite family attractions including Story Land, Canobie Lake Park and York’s Wild Kingdom. Many coupons admit a child 12 and under free or at a discounted rate with a paying adult. Enter to win by July 15 at www. parentingnh.com/funpass. For more on The Fun Pass, go to www. breathenh.org. ParentingNH readers can save $5 on the purchase of a Fun Pass by using the link: https://tinyurl.com/Fun-Pass-Offer.

Don’t miss the 2019 edition of the Family Summer Fun Guide ParentingNH’s Family Summer Fun Guide is coming your way later this month. It’s the ultimate resource for parents who are looking for things to do and places to go throughout New Hampshire with their families this summer. Look for the Family Summer Fun Guide at PNH’s regular distribution spots and at Welcome Centers throughout the Granite State starting in mid-June, about the time kids are getting out of school. Can’t wait to start planning? Check out all of our summer-themed content at www. parentingnh.com.

SEE Science Center unveils Cooking & Chemistry exhibit SEE Science Center recently unveiled its newest exhibit: Cooking & Chemistry presented by T-BONES and CJ’s Great West Grill. This exhibit is designed to inspire SEE visitors ages 3 to 7 to try new things and build confidence in kitchen and lab settings. The exhibit includes a play kitchen designed to look like a professional restaurant. It is filled with kitchen tools and foods, both familiar and diverse. Adjacent with the kitchen is the chemistry lab. De-

signed to look like a research lab environment, the lab includes child-sized test tubes, beakers, flasks and more. In the exhibit area, visitors can compare sizes and types of measuring devices such as graduated cylinders and measuring cups. Visitors can also explore which areas will be “hot” or “cold,” count and compare ingredients, and sort foods or lab samples. A child-friendly microscope lets kids get their first look at things close up. For more information, go to www.see-sciencecenter.org.

HIKING SEASON IS HERE: GET YOUR HIKE SAFE CARD Hikers, climbers, kayakers and other outdoor enthusiasts are encouraged to purchase their voluntary annual Hike Safe card for 2019. Card sales help ensure that New Hampshire Fish and Game conservation officers, trained in wilderness rescue, are ready to come to your aid if needed. Hike Safe cards cost $25, or $35 for a family, and are good until Dec. 31, 2019. Cards can be purchased at www.wildnh.com/safe; they are also sold at New Hampshire Fish and Game Department headquarters, 11 Hazen Drive, Concord. During 2018, the New Hampshire Fish and Game Department sold 5,311 cards, which generated $134,349 for the fund. Last year Fish and Game conducted 148 search and rescue missions. The card exempts holders from certain liability for repaying search and rescue costs. www.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 5

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Spin it right round Epicureanist’s Helix Whiskey Glass entertains while enhancing the taste of a drink. Featuring a patented spinning base, the Helix Glass aerates the whiskey, unlocking the complex flavors and aromas of the spirit. This is a must-have item for serious whiskey connoisseurs. AVAILABLE AT WWW. VINOTEMP.COM; $21.95

He lifts doughnut trucks in danger with his super strength, and takes on evil stuffed animals with a wham! and a pow! He’s Mega Dad. This custom hard-cover comic book incorporates your kid’s name and Mega Dad into a story of heroic adventures both big and small. Each item is made to order so order early. AVAILABLE AT WWW.UNCOMMONGOODS.COM; $35

settlersgreen.com 888-667-9636 Shop over 75 of your favorite brands Locally-owned eateries & spa services Public art & gardens Dozens of nearby accommodations

SIGNATURE SUMMER EVENTS July 4 Sidewalk Sale July 4-7 Plein-Air Art Competition & Art Night July 12 Free Outdoor Movies July 23 & 30, August 6 & 13 Annual Mall-Wide Tent Sale July 26-August 4 Back-To-School Blitz August 17 Labor Day Sidewalk Sale August 30-Sept. 2

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Discover more shopping, dining and services at Settlers Crossing, located 1/4 mile from Settlers Green.

Coming Fall 2019, REI Co-Op will be located next to Black Cap Grille.

www.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 7

The

changing New

family The experts say families are becoming more diverse, and the trend will continue BY MELANIE PLENDA

ome can be the place you were born. It can be a place that you choose. It can be a place that chooses you.

But the concept of home, and of the family in New Hampshire, has evolved over the last several decades. New Hampshire as a whole is changing right along with the rest of the country. Households are as likely to be headed by one parent as two. The households with two parents may be headed by two men or two women. More than one or two generations or even three generations may live under one roof. And there are more families of color and mixed-race families. “The population is becoming more diverse,” Kenneth M. Johnson, senior demographer at the Carsey School of

EDITOR’S NOTE: Included within this story are profiles of four families living in New Hampshire who were interviewed in May 2019 by writer Krysten Godfrey Maddocks.

8 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

Hampshire Public Policy at The University of New Hampshire, said. “All the growth that’s occurred in New Hampshire since 2010 has been growing more diverse … from 1990 when it was only 3 percent minority… (to) 9.5 percent minority as of 2017, which is the newest data available. This is happening for a number of reasons, Johnson said, but one of the most important factors is that the white population in New Hampshire is aging. More whites are dying in the state than are being born right now. At the same time, there are more minority births than deaths and minority populations are migrating to the state at a modest rate.

WHO ARE THE PEOPLE IN OUR NEIGHBORHOODS? According to the most recent census numbers, Johnson said the largest minority population in New Hampshire as a whole is Hispanic (3.5 percent of the total population), followed

by Asian (2.6 percent) and African American (1.2 percent). “Many of the minority populations coming to New Hampshire are coming because they are skilled and because New Hampshire has opportunities for skilled, educated workers,” Johnson said. Not all minorities coming to New Hampshire are coming from other countries, he said. Many are migrating to New Hampshire from Massachusetts and New York. “The foreign-born population in New Hampshire is better educated than the New Hampshire-born population, and almost as well educated as people who are coming to New Hampshire from other states — that population is also better educated than the New Hampshire-born population,” Johnson said. More than 6 percent of self-employed business owners in New Hampshire are immigrants and one in eight workers in New Hampshire’s

THE STATE AT-A-GLANCE TOTAL POPULATION 1970

737,681

2010

1,316,470

2018

1,356,458

POPULATION BY GENDER Men

Women

1970

48.9%

51.1%

2010

49.3%

50.7%

MARITAL STATUS Men 1970

Women

5.7% 15.7%

28.4% 64.9%

2017

22.7%

61.6%

14%

22%

32% 54%

27%

51%

■ Single ■ Married ■ Widowed or divorced

MEDIAN HOUSEHOLD INCOME 1989

$36,329

2018

$71,305

POPULATION BY AGE, 1990-2010 Age

1990

2000

2010

0-5

7.6%

6.1%

5.3%

5 to 19

20.6%

21.7%

19.4%

20 to 34

25.9%

18.6%

17.4%

35 to 64

34.5%

41.7%

44.3%

65+

11.3%

12%

13.5%

NOTE: Information was obtained through the U.S. Census Bureau, the State of New Hampshire and the New Hampshire Center for Public Policy. For non-census years, there is a margin of error of 3-10 percent.

www.parentingnh.com

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COURTESY PHOTO

The

DiBonaLiberatores

were four hours away from relatives. We also decided that we didn’t necessarily want to raise our daughter in New York City Public Schools. It’s absolutely nothing against the school system, I just didn’t want her to grow up that fast.

Q: What have been your biggest challenges?

hometown • LACONIA

Julie DiBona, 43, program manager Christina Liberatore, 44, educational management and sales Phoebe DiBona-Liberatore,11, student and budding actress Cole DiBona-Liberatore, 4 (with glasses) Calvin DiBona-Liberatore, 4

10 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

Question:

We are a two-mom, multi-racial family. Our daughter is adopted and is African American. Tina carried the boys, and we used an African-American donor. We are a rare makeup around here. Sometimes people walk by us and do the “double take.” That’s when they look at us, walk by, and then turn to look again. Our daughter has had to handle some racists remarks at times and must navigate the questions of her peers, which is a challenge in your tween years. We don’t have a lot of diversity so we can stand out.

Where are you originally from and why do you live in NH?

Q: What makes living here special?

Julie: We’re both originally from Massachusetts, I spent my summers up here from the time I was about 6, said Julie. Between living in Massachusetts and New Hampshire, Tina and I lived in New York. We were living in New York and decided to move back here for a couple of reasons. One was to be closer to our family. At that time, we had an almost one-year-old and

Julie: One of our greatest challenges is finding opportunities to find “like” families. Our community is amazing. As a parent, you become ingrained in your school community and that community has been wonderful. We are just another family there. I have been known to say that our bubble is a safe place in a world that can sometimes feel a bit unsafe.

professional, scientific and technical services industries is an immigrant, according to the American Immigration Council. The largest share of immigrants in New Hampshire’s labor force, according to the AIC, work in farming, fishing and forestry (22 percent); computer and mathematical sciences (17.8 percent); and healthcare support (11.4 percent). Emily Walton, an associate professor of sociology at Dartmouth College, has been studying diversity trends in the Upper Valley. The white population in that region, which includes Hanover and Lebanon, is about 87 percent. “We’re even more diverse here than most places in New Hampshire,” Walton said. “So I think that the statewide data kind of masks some of the diversity that we’re actually seeing in some places in the state.” In the Upper Valley, what is driving that trend is what is evident in the AIC numbers. Despite the rural locale, with Dartmouth College, Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center and several high-tech firms in the region, the Upper Valley has become a jobs hub that draws large minority populations, Walton said. Manchester, too, is seeing significant growth in minority populations due to job opportunities available there, but also because it is one of three refugee resettlement cities in the state. Hillsborough County has about 30 percent of the population of the state, but almost 50 percent of the minority population in the state, Johnson said.

Since fiscal year 2011, 3,177 refugees have been resettled in New Hampshire. Of those groups, 1,242 have been settled in Manchester; 1,291 in Concord; and 622 in Nashua. (See related story on page 16.)

WHAT CHANGE LOOKS LIKE According to Johnson, of those younger than 18, about 15 percent are of a minority group. In contrast, adult minorities make up 8 percent of the state’s population that is older than 18. Also, 12 percent of New Hampshire births in 2016 were from minority groups. If you pair this information with the fact that 98 percent of the people who are dying in the state are white, the trend is that the state’s minority population is growing and younger. It mirrors what is happening in the United States as a whole. “Future growth now depends on minority population gains, because the white population is no longer growing. Hispanics are the largest minority group and now account for the majority of U.S. population gain, according to information published by the Carsey School for Public Policy in March 2019. Another contrast is that, in the migrant and immigrant populations moving to New Hampshire, their families are more traditional than those in the non-immigrant populations. Walton said typically, immigrant families are professional with both parents living in the home and working. Meanwhile, non-immigrant families in New Hampshire are mirroring national trends and are more often racially diverse and include www.parentingnh.com

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PHOTO BY KATLYN ASHLEY PHOTOGRAPHY

The

Ducharmes

history of the city is fascinating, as well.

Q: What have been your biggest challenges?

hometown • MANCHESTER

Shea Ducharme, 32, tile installer Lyndsey Ducharme, 33, stay-at-home mom Jaxson (on right) and Ryder Ducharme, 4½, will enter kindergarten in the fall

Question:

Where are you originally from and what made you choose New Hampshire as a place to live? Lyndsey: We are both from Manchester and have lived in New Hampshire for most of our lives. Shea and I lived in Colorado for about a year and a half, and Shea has lived in

12 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

several other towns in New Hampshire. The only other city in New Hampshire I have lived in is Derry. The boys were born in Manchester at the Elliot Hospital. We choose to live in New Hampshire because to be near our family. When we found out I was pregnant, we lived in Colorado. Coming home seemed like the best option because we wanted our boys to grow up around family as much as possible. Having the beach and the mountains within driving distance doesn’t hurt either. Shea and I own a two-family home in Manchester, which seemed like the best option for us because having the rental income has allowed me to stay home with my sons. We both love Manchester. It is going through a major rough patch at the moment, but this city is filled with amazing people. The

Lyndsey: One of the challenges we face as family living in New Hampshire is living within our budget. The cost of living isn’t cheap around here. My decision to become a stay- athome mom wasn’t an easy choice. We had to decide what we could live on and what we could live without. Finding activities for the four of us to do together isn’t cheap either. There are more free events starting to pop up, which is helpful, but budget is a big deal. A challenge of living in Manchester is that we live the city where a lot of the drug epidemic is going on. My biggest parenting challenge is having twins. I have been outnumbered since day one. The current biggest parenting challenge we are having is having to parent each child differently. This is common but trying to get two (almost) five-year-olds to understand that isn’t an easy task. Another challenge is teaching my children about emotions. Having emotional intelligence and showing kindness are very important to me. Teaching it is something that takes a lot of patience and mental strength — not something I excel at each day, but I am trying.

Q: What makes living here special? Living in New Hampshire is special because of the history here — which isn’t something you find in most other states. While living in Colorado, I noticed how much newer the state was. Today, we live near the mills in Manchester--beautiful buildings filled with history. The people here are filled with just as much history as the state. Living close to another major city, the mountains, and multiple beaches is special too.

same-sex couples, unmarried but cohabitating couples, singles living alone or with roommates, and single moms and dads. “[There have been changes in] perceptions of individuals around these kinds of family formations and even gender norms as well are changing,” says Kristin Smith, a family demographer at the Carsey School. “We’re seeing the change in gender norms, seeing this change in individual choice norms. You can track that change and it’s very, very evident.” Laws and public policies are also influencing this trend. “In many states, it wasn’t legal to have a same-sex marriage and now it is,” Smith said. “These policy changes are more recent and we saw these changes before that, but there has been a loosening of regulations on individual choices surrounding things like who you love and whether or not you have children.” The role of women in society has also helped boost this shift, Smith said. Women aren’t necessarily as apt to be married with kids by age 22. More women are delaying having children or not having children to be able to pursue education and careers. “Because of these changing gender norms — if you look at popular media and magazines and books and this kind of thing — there’s encouragement of women to get an education, to be economically self -sufficient. Some of those messages and some of those changes are influencing family decision-making.”

SCHOOLS AND COMMUNITIES As for the folks moving into New Hampshire, while they are mainly coming here because of jobs and educational opportunities, New Hampshire isn’t seeing the kind of economic migration that you might see in bigger cities and bigger states. “People are coming here because the jobs are here,” she said. “But it’s also … they love the natural beauty of the place. I hear that over and over. If it’s away from the hustle and bustle of the city, they feel like they have an opportunity to be part of the community because these communities are smaller. “Because of the presence of young children and the types of jobs that they’re coming for, it’s an opportunity to make a home and be part of something, and that is sort of what’s driving people to come here.” What that means, Walton said, is a lot of diversity in community schools. While this can present a challenge in terms of adding supports into the system, it also can be an enriching and rewarding experience for students. “Central [in Manchester] is the oldest public high school in the state and probably one of the most diverse,” said Manchester Mayor Joyce Craig. “And I can tell you from my experience as a mother that the diversity of the school has really been a wonderful attribute that has really benefited my kid and kids in the district.” Craig says roughly 60 different countries are represented in the school and nearly as many different languages are spoken by the students in the district. “I really believe that it promotes and provides a new perspective and open mindedness and really prepares students for the real world,” Craig said. “This is who we are right now, and they’re experiencing this in their hometown, which is a wonderful thing.” Walton said she’s seen an increase in school districts offering mul-

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| JUNE 2019 13

PHOTO BY KAREN BACHELDER

The

Beckers

— the ability to make your own life without the state intruding.

Q: What makes living here special? I love that we are close to the Seacoast, White Mountains, shopping in Manchester and close to both Concord and Nashua. I like that we are local to Boston. It gives us a good blend of everything without ever needing to go farther than a stone’s throw.

Q: What have been your biggest challenges?

hometown •

GOFFSTOWN

Lou Becker, 38, sales manager Sara Becker, 29, day care provider Aleecia Riley, 14 Kylee Riley, 13 Leighton Riley, 10 Ethan Becker, 7 Brody Becker, 3 Brynnlee, born in May 2019 Lou has three biological children with Sara. Sara brought three children into the family when they got married. These children are multiracial, with both African-American, Caucasian, and Chinese heritage.

14 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

Question:

Where are you originally from and what made you choose New Hampshire as a place to live? Lou: We have lived in New Hampshire as a family for five years. My wife was originally from Maine, I have lived in the state for 20 years, always in the Manchester area, except for time spent in college at Franklin Pierce in Rindge. I am originally from New York. I had been coming to New Hampshire since I was a kid. I came from a single-parent home, and my dad lived in Manchester. I have always admired the beauty of the state and its “Live Free or Die” mentality. I knew I would end up going to college in New Hampshire as I love the schools here. My quality of life has far exceeded what I experienced in New York. That’s important to me

Lou: Making sure my kids are well taken care of is our biggest challenge. The prices of goods have gone up, heat and electricity have gone up, housing has gone up significantly. Yet I don’t feel like wages have really moved up that high over past 15-20 years — and my family is growing. We have to be more resourceful with where we shop and how we shop, and what activities the kids get involved in. Finding employment with benefits like health care proves to be a challenge. A lot of small companies in state don’t offer health benefits. That is definitely a challenge for me and my wife. Our oldest three children are black, Chinese and white -— and that’s a challenge. On one side, pop culture tells them that they should like hip-hop culture and certain ways of dressing — I think my kids struggle with identifying where they belong. We say that you just need to be who you are. You don’t have to change yourself to be somebody or something. In our town, I haven’t heard kids say that they’ve experienced any struggles being a different race than the majority of our town. We deal with the typical coming-of age-challenges. When we go out, people ask how many kids we have. When we say, “soon to be six,” most people are blown away. I always saw myself with at least two children. I met Sara, who had three children already, and I went with it. I loved all the kids and they are hugely a part of my life — I couldn’t picture them anywhere else but with me. We are ecstatic about having our new baby, Brynnlee. Sara and my kids give me a purpose, and I want to teach that to our kids.

COURTESY PHOTO

Pillas

The

ticultural celebrations such as Diwali in schools. In Manchester, they are bringing in translators and using technology to help parents and students better communicate and become involved. In towns and cities, there is also a push for greater integration of more diverse voices and points of view. In Manchester, for example, Mayor Craig said she and other officials have been encouraging younger people, women and ethnically diverse people to join local boards and commissions. She has also set up a Mayor’s Council on Immigration to help keep connected with the immigrant population in that city so it might better inform local policies.

LOOKING AHEAD New Hampshire’s population is aging, particularly the white population, so there’s every reason to believe there’s going to be a decline in the white population in the future, Johnson said. The number of people over age 65 is probably going to double in New Hampshire in the next 10 to 15 years. Also, “the number of children, white children, in New Hampshire and the number of white women of childbearing age in New Hampshire isn’t growing,” he said. Johnson acknowledges that a significant part of the migration stream into New Hampshire is white, and this could shift the dynamic in the future if the number of white people migrating to New Hampshire jumped significantly. He also said, “There’s no reason to expect that’s going to happen. … my expectation is that the minority population in New Hampshire will continue to grow modestly in the future.” Walton said she thinks the more we talk about these populations, particularly the individuals who are part of and are contributing to these communities, we can make progress. “We need some way of, at a community level, of recognizing these are important people that are part of our community, this is why they’re here. This is their story. They’re just like you and me,” she said. “It would be an important way to help those families be part of the community.” Melanie Plenda is an award-winning freelance journalist and mom based in Keene. Her work has appeared in The Atlantic.com, The Daily Beast, American Baby, and Parents.com among other media outlets.

hometown • DOVER

Question:

Where Where are you originally from and why do you live in NH? Larry: I am originally from Trenton, N.J., and spent a combined 21 years in London and Portland, Ore. I choose to live in Dover because it’s a vibrant, growing, family-friendly city with much to offer in the way of food, the arts, and physical recreation for a town of its size.

Q: What have been some of the challenges? Larry: Challenges include long winters with easily bored teenagers. There is also perpetual conflict over inadequate school

Larry Pilla, 58, conference coordinator with Granite State College Zoe Pilla, 25 (biological daughter) Dylan Pilla, 14 (adopted) Carter Pilla, 9 (adopted) Carter and Dylan live with Larry in Dover. Zoe lives in San Francisco, CA.

funding. My greatest parenting challenges include crafting a family from adopted former foster children with disparate backgrounds that include various levels of trauma — and managing this as a single parent.

www.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 15

From Uganda to A refugee family’s story They made a home in America with the help of the Manchester community • BY MELANIE PLENDA

p until Chantal Wizeye stepped into a refugee camp in Uganda in 1996, home for the then 3-year-old was on her family’s banana plantation, a place that could be raided at any moment by gun-toting soldiers.

At night, her mother, father and uncle would sneak Wizeye and her baby brother out to sleep under the bush. You couldn’t sleep in your house and be sure you’d be safe. And food was scarce. Now, here she was in her new “home” — a series of makeshift shelters housing thousands displaced by war, genocide and violence. “I was little, but I remember. They could give us milk.” Wizeye, now 25, says the word slowly, drawing out each letter as though she could still taste it. She closes her eyes, tilts her head back and smiles big. “Oh, my God. Like I swear… like it was so good. They treated us so well.” After a few months, Chantal and her family were given a small plot of land where they built their house from trees and mud, and waited to be resettled. When they got their land, they were given seeds to plant a garden. This and small rations of corn meal, and occasionally rice, was what they had to live on. When

16 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

monsoon rains didn’t wash away their crops, or the sun didn’t dry them to dust, and they were healthy between bouts of malaria, Wizeye said, they were able to grow enough corn and beans to sell and help the rest of her family, who eventually found their way to the camps. They eventually were able to get a cow, a goat and some chickens, which also helped. Life was good. They were free, she said, to leave the camp, to go to the market, to go to school, to have a car, if they had enough money, which despite Wizeye and her father being among the lucky ones to get jobs, they never quite did. This was home — for 19 years — while the family waited to be resettled. People who’d gone through the camps would talk about America and say it was like heaven. “Because we had lived there for a long time,” Wizeye said, “We had no hope [of going to America].” But then they got a letter saying they were eligible for resettlement.

Manchester

Refugees Chantal Wizeye, 25, and her mother, Ventina Cyizanye, 51, discuss what it’s been like to make Manchester their home. PHOTO BY MELANIE PLENDA

“We went to the interview,” she said. “They said, do you want to go to America? And I was like, ‘what?’ “For me my goal was, when I heard of going to America, it’s like, ‘I’m going to go to school. I’m sure I’m going to have everything I need.’” In 2015, Wizeye was allowed to come to America as a refugee. Her uncle and parents had gone ahead a few months before and now it was her turn. “When I got to Manchester Airport I was like, ‘wow, this is it,” she said, “I think, ‘this is America.’”

CHANGING FACES New Hampshire is not known for its diversity. The white population is roughly 93 percent. But that number is actually representative of a growing non-white population. Between 2000 and 2016, the minority population doubled in New Hampshire from 61,600 to 122.100, said Ken-

neth M. Johnson, senior demographer at the Carsey School of Public Policy at The University of New Hampshire. They accounted for more than 62 percent of the total population increase in the state during that same time period, he said. This shift may be most evident in Hillsborough County. Hillsborough County has about 30 percent of the population of the state, but almost 50 percent of the minority population in the state lives in Hillsborough County, Johnson said, adding that the minority population is concentrated in Manchester and Nashua. “That would mean that while much of the state of New Hampshire remains almost entirely white, especially in its adult population, Manchester and Nashua in particular are facing the same kinds of multiracial, multiethnic kinds of experiences that you would see in other urban areas around the United States.” While one of the drivers of that growth is jobs, anwww.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 17

other is the number of refugees resettled in and around the city. To date, since fiscal year 2011, 3,177 refugees have been resettled in New Hampshire. Of those groups, 1,242 have been settled in Manchester; 1,291 in Concord and, 622 in Nashua. According to the NH Office of Health Equity, since 2011 refugees have mainly hailed from Africa and Asia, with a smaller number coming from the Middle East. Among the largest groups coming into the area are those from Africa. And of the 1,221 Africans resettled in the state since 2011, like Wizeye and her family, 892 were from the Democratic Republic of Congo. “[Wizeye’s] family, they faced conflict in 1994 when there was a Rwandan genocide and had to flee,” said Sarah Bates, interim program manager of community services and employment for the International Institute of New England (IINE) in Manchester, a nonprofit organization that offers resettlement assistance to immigrants and refugees. “Right now the Congolese that we’re seeing, many of them are from the same conflict from the early ’90s.” The reason is because it takes so long for refugees to be resettled. “On average, it’s actually about 17 to 18 years that people wait in refugee camps before getting resettled,” Bates said. “And even of those who reach that period, only 1 percent of refugees in the world today actually get resettled to another country.”

OVERCOMING TRAUMA, BUILDING TRUST Despite the fact they want to start fresh, the trauma they witnessed and endured isn’t so easily erased. Bates said many refugees who come to New Hampshire suffer from PTSD as a result of their experiences in their home countries. It can be hard to get them the help they need not only because of a shortage of services, but also because therapy is not something that is part of their culture. “There’s a stigma,” Bates said. “Also then to introduce it with an interpreter as a middle person… How can you build that trust, when trust is such a core part of being able to talk about some of the trauma that people have witnessed?” Bates said one of the initiatives her agency is developing is a type of group therapy where members of a refugee community get together to talk to get the help they need. She said they are hoping to roll out the details in the next several months. Co-superintendent of the Manchester School District Amy Allen said that for students in the refugee population in their district, trauma is one of the biggest challenges for the families and students. They deal with that by making sure they are “trauma sensitive,” and responsive to the needs of these communities by working with partners to build trust within those communities. Wendy Perron, director of English learner instruction for the Manchester School District, said she is building trust by working with the cultural brokers they have in their bilingual liaison team. “They really are on the ground in the community doing home visits and they network in that way,” Perron said. “If they are connected with one family, that trust begins to build with them. The families are talking to each other and their community and that’s how

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really the word spreads and they know who to contact, who they’re comfortable contacting.”

SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE Another way the district tries to connect with the immigrant population broadly, and the refugee community specifically, is by addressing barriers to communication. There are 58 different languages spoken by students in the Manchester School District, according to school district data. Allen said they work hard to get translators into the school to work with new students as quickly as possible so they are able to communicate and learn right away. They have also started translating text and voice messages sent to parents into multiple languages and have translators wear headsets at events that can translate into a variety of languages. At the same time, Perron said, the district also created a program that celebrates the languages students have already mastered. The MSD Multiliteracy Awards were established in 2016 to offer special recognition to students in grades 5, 8 and 12, who demonstrate proficiency in English, and at least one other language. Perron said the award is meant to not only elevate the fact that being multilingual is a marketable skill but also it’s another way to acknowledge the assets of their multilingual learners. “Some of the feedback we get from our multilingual parents is that it’s hard for them to see their child’s culture and language change so quickly when they come to the United States,” Perron said. “So we offer a pathway award for fifth- and eighth-graders where we just ask them to keep a log of books they’re reading in English, and then their native language, so that we’re encouraging them to keep those skills going.” Perron said this program, the only one of its kind in New Hampshire, has become popular and competitive. In fact, she said, there is a committee forming to help other communities replicate it.

BECOMING PART OF THE MANCHESTER COMMUNITY Wizeye, who speaks three languages including English, said for the most part their family, which includes her six brothers and sisters, all still speak their native language of Kinyarwanda in their home. Although, when she says this, her mother, Ventina Cyizanye, for whom Wizeye was translating questions, chuckles. “You are speaking too much English,” the 51-year-old said, indicating that’s a phrase used in their house often. Cyizanye, through Wizeye, said without hesitation she has no regrets about leaving Africa, and talks proudly of the four years she’s spent studying English in community classes arranged by IINE. Bates said these classes aren’t just about helping them learn English; they often are ways for newcomers to bond with each other and develop a sense of community. Wizeye said one thing she misses is gathering with people to practice their traditions and culture like they did in the camps in Uganda. “So going into the camp we used to have, like programs where we do activities,” she said. “Sometimes we’d go to visit other villages.

There would be like music, dance, some drama and art, like different activities. But here it’s not easy to gather the whole community and do the stuff we used to do back there because we used to pracSummer Camp is back at Gymnastics Village with tice our own culture. We have our own dances, so we have like, you half and full day options (9am-3pm)! Designed for boys and girls from 6 to 14, kids will participate could share like food, but here — we can do it, but it’s not easy to Gymnastics Camps •inNinja Camps • Junior Camps (ages 4-5) gymnastics rotations, fitness activities, Ninja get into it. People are busy. It’s so not easy to find people.” Challenge obstacle courses, games, crafts, party Registration is open now! apparatus like our inflatables, zip-line and more. Bates said one of the jobs of the IINE is to help refugees find each Call 603.889.8092 or visit gymnasticsvillage.com. Registration for summer camps and recreational other and form networks with and groups. But she said they also do •classes Fullbegins Day April 8:301st. –3:30 Call 603.889.8092 a fair amount of work integrating them and encouraging them to get •or visit Halfgymnasticsvillage.com. Day 8:30 –12:30 or 12:00–3:30 involved in the broader Manchester community as well. This is something that Mayor Joyce Craig, too, says she’s been working on since she’s been in office. “The diversity that we have in Manchester is something that we’re very proud of,” says Manchester Mayor Craig. “And it’s welcomed and really makes us a unique place in New Hampshire.” “We’ve worked hard to build and create a culture of collaboration and to make sure that Manchester is a welcoming place for all,” said Craig. Change Over Time: Natural She said these efforts include, among other things, increasing Resources and the Innovations the number of younger and more ethnically diverse people on loof American Horticulture Interactive Family Programs & Discoveries cal boards and commissions and beginning a Mayor’s council on For more information: StrawberyBanke.org immigration, the formal name of which is still to be determined. Open 7 days, 10 am to 5 pm May 1- Oct 31 “We have been working probably for the last 10 months,” Craig 14 Hancock Street, Portsmouth NH 03801 said. “My thought on this was to ensure that I have connections to the different ethnic groups that are in Manchester. I understand 4/19/2019 10:47:26 AM the challenges that they may be facing, but I also understand the SBMMayJun2019.indd 1 good things that are happening so that when we are building policy here in city hall, we’re doing in a way that represents everybody in our community.” Wizeye and her family have steadily worked to make Manchester their home. She’s worked at Harvey Industries for the past two-and-a-half years and attends Manchester Community College, where she’s working toward a degree in Human Services with the goal of becoming a social worker or case manager. She also manages to help as a translator at IINE. “What’s so amazing,” Bates sayid, “is so much of the time when people come and we talk to them about their long-term goals, it’s like, ‘I just want to help people.’ They want to give back, they want to give back for what they’ve received and it’s who they are and they are just so gracious.” The gratitude is obvious on Wizeye’s face as she speaks. “In Uganda, it’s hard to find a ride when you’re going to the store or someplace. And like here we have money and at least can afford food... So here, we have a job. We go to work and it’s easy if you are working and going to school, you can do both. And, like Inspiring students through electricity. Electricity doesn’t go off. It’s always on unless you canhands-on learning not afford to pay, which doesn’t happen often…. I can say life here is much better… it’s the best.” Infants through 8th grade

Visit the Possibilities

Melanie Plenda is a frequent contributor to ParentingNH and the project manager of the Granite State News Collaborative.

Flexible tuition program Londonderry, NH 603.818.8613 www.SNHEC.org www.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 19

Unlock the door

to home

What you need to know before you buy your first home in New Hampshire BY KRYSTEN GODFREY MADDOCKS

eeling drawn to the “for sale” signs in the neighborhoods you’d like to live in? Tired of helping pay someone else’s mortgage, or wishing you had more space to accommodate your growing family?

Whatever your reason, buying your first home is a big decision. After all, it will likely be the largest purchase you ever make. New Hampshire’s median house price is $285,900, while some counties such as Rockingham ($380,000) and Hillsborough ($300,000) command even higher prices, according to the New Hampshire Realtors’ March data snapshot. If you are a first-time homebuyer, you are in good company. According to the Federal Housing Administration and Urban Institute, first-time homebuyers will continue to outnumber repeat homebuyers. Thanks to a strong economy and historically low interest rates — along with loan programs that support first-timers — you can open the door to homeownership.

20 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

ownership

HOW MUCH HOUSE CAN YOU AFFORD? Your dream might be to own a four-bedroom Colonial with a two-car garage in the Seacoast, but your wallet might not agree. That’s why it’s important to understand how much house you can buy before you set your heart on your dream home — or worse, buy a house you really can’t afford. There are five major factors that determine if you qualify for a home loan, how much you can borrow, and at what interest rate: • Debt-to-income ratio • Credit history and credit score • Employment history • Savings • Down payment It’s important that you understand how your current income, debt, and savings factor into your ability to secure a mortgage, said Matthew Gallant, a real estate lending specialist with Service Credit Union, New Hampshire’s largest credit union. “Getting prequalified for a loan is like getting Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket,” Gallant said. “Realtors may not even want to show you a house if you can’t afford it; it sets you up for disappointment and can waste valuable time in your house hunt. The best course of action is sitting down, figuring out what your lending power is, and then having your agent work with your lender to ensure you are on the correct path.”

WHAT’S HOT RIGHT NOW • “Bidding wars” in certain towns or for particular houses • Single-family homes • Newer homes with up-to-date appliances and fixtures, including granite counters and Viking appliances • Properties in the Greater Seacoast and Greater Manchester communities

NGE NGE

LES MEDIAN SA E PRIC MEDIAN SALES 2019 as of April PRICE

VOLUME SALESVOLUME SALES ions) mill (inmillions) (in April 2019

$290,000 $290,000

f s oApril asaof 2019

$410 $410

as of April 2019

NGE -YEAR CHA +2.1% ONE

R CHANGE % ONE-YEACHANGE -2.6% -2.6ONE-YEAR

+2.1% ONE-YEAR CHANGE SOURCE: www.nhar.org

Gallant last year started a program called Homebuying on Tap, aimed to help first-time homebuyers get their questions answered in an informal setting. During these informal classes held at taverns throughout New Hampshire in the evenings, Gallant talks to attendees about credit, budgeting, and income-to-debt ratio (which is your monthly debt, including your car payments, student loans and credit card debt divided by your income, with the addition of your potential mortgage). The program draws anywhere from 10 to 15 people, who can enjoy a beverage and ask questions without feeling pressure. Lowstress and social, Homebuying on Tap helps first-time homebuyers learn the nuts and bolts before they seek out lenders or real estate agents, Gallant said. “We spend very little time discussing the actual mortgage products, as we would rather give them valuable information to get them set up to apply for a mortgage,” he said. Helping buyers, including millennials, look at the bigger picture is key to getting them to understand just how much house they can afford. For example, although the income-to--debt ratio should hover no higher than 43 percent, it’s important for prospective buyers to understand that the report does not include other key expenses such as child care, groceries, and gas, Gallant said. “There is a term I use called ‘real’ debt-to-income ratio that includes those numbers that I can’t look at when reviewing a mortgage application but I ask my attendees to keep those in mind when they are considering their personal budgets,” he said.

BANK ON THE RIGHT MORTGAGE

MEDIAN MEDIAN SALES Not every loanSALES is created equal, whichCLOSED is why buyers need to CLOSED SALES SALES PRICE PRICE communicate their short- and long-term goals lender, said as asto of oftheir April April2019 2019 as asof ofApril April2019 2019 Nancy Monbouquette, New England regional manager for the mortgage division at Citizens Bank. While interest rates on 30-year-fixed-rate loans provide security, -5.4% -5.4%ONE-YEAR ONE-YEARCHANGE CHANGE most people do notCHANGE stay in their homes for 30 years. In fact, the av+2.1% +2.1% ONE-YEAR ONE-YEAR CHANGE erage lifespan of a loan is around seven years. Working with your

$290,000 $290,000

22 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

1,190 1,190

lender, you can decide what product works for your budget and lifestyle, she said. YS Fixed mortgages (usually for periods of 15, 20 orA have E DA ER 30Gyears) V A the same interest rate each year of the loan. Adjustable RKET MAmortgages, ONmortgages S E L 2019iniril A p S A which usually have slightly lower rates than fixed f o D s E a CLOSof April 2019 as with the market after a certain number of years, and tially, adjust usually adjust to a higher interest rate after a term of fiveDAYS or seven AVERAGE CLOSED SALES years. HANGE ON MARKET NE-YEAR C as of April 2019 O E % GARM .2 N 2 A -1 H C as of April 2019 “That said, a 5-1 ARM or 7-1 is not for everyone; a lot of R A -YE -5.4% ONE people like to know they are going to have security,” Monbouquette said. -5.4% ONE-YEAR CHANGElow, no matter what loan you ultiRates are still historically -12.2% ONE-YEAR CHANGE mately decide upon, allowing new homebuyers to afford a bigger mortgage. As rates go up, you might find you qualify for a lower mortgage amount. They can change quickly, which is why it’s a good time to buy if you are looking, she said. For first-time homebuyers with low- to-moderate incomes, the New Hampshire Housing Finance Authority offers programs to help them purchase a home. These home ownership programs align with New Hampshire Housing’s mission to promote, finance and support affordable housing in the state. Its products support first-time homebuyers earning up to $126,700. New Hampshire Housing partners with a group of participating lenders around the state to make its loan products available. Andrew Cadorette, New Hampshire Housing’s home ownership manager, said education is the key to finding the right loan for a buyer. As such, the organization provides and supports both faceto-face and online educational and financial counseling programs to outline programs (see sidebar). Buyers should always feel in control and never feel pressured to take out a loan or close on a house that they don’t feel comfortable purchasing, Cadorette said. One way to find out whether your new mortgage, taxes and house insurance payment is going to cramp your style is to try “paying” it before you spring for a new home. “For example, if you get approved for $1,200 but you are living with your mom and paying $600, try that payment out and put $600 in the bank every month for six months and save $3,600 toward

1,190 1,190

AVERAGE AVERAGE DAYS DAYS ON ON MARKET MARKET as asof ofApril April2019 2019

65 65

-12.2% -12.2%ONE-YEAR ONE-YEARCHANGE CHANGE

PENDING PENDING SALES SALES as asof ofApril April2019 2019

1,887 1,887 +5.5% +5.5% ONE-YEAR ONE-YEAR CHANGE CHANGE

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Affordable mortgage options for homebuyers NEW HAMPSHIRE HOUSING’S MORTGAGE PROGRAMS INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING OPTIONS FOR HOMEBUYERS WHO MAKE LESS THAN $126,700.

• Home Flex Plus and Home Preferred Offers up to 3% of loan amounts in the form of cash funds, in order to help homebuyers afford the upfront costs of their new property. The available funds can be put toward the down payment, closing costs, and prepaid items associated with purchasing a home. After four years of owning a home, the down payment assistance is forgiven. The program offers flexible underwriting criteria as well as government insurance and may be used for purchasing or refinancing 9 a home. There are no rate adjustments forAcredit pril 20or1 other overlays.

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counted mortgage insurance options. As a result, Home Preferred offers lower monthly payments when compared to other ANGE HconventionC R A E -Y and Home Flex Plus al or government-insured loans. (The Home ONEFlex 2.1% + are government-insured mortgage programs [FHA, VA, and USDA RD]. E G N R CHAmust complete homebuyer education.) EABorrowers

-Y % ONE • Home Start Homebuyer Tax Credit

Want an extra $2,000 in your pocket? This tax credit can decrease the federal income taxes you owe, thereby boosting your take-home pay, which may help you qualify for a mortgage and make your mortgage payments. It is not a one-time credit—it is an annual credit for the life of the original mortgage, as long as you live in the home. (Your house must meet certain purchase price limits.) • Home Preferred No MI (mortgage insurance) Provides you with conventional mortgage financing terms and a No MI mortgage insurance option. With Home Preferred No MI, those looking to purchase (or refinance) can get a low monthly payment mortgage, with No MI with as little as 3% down.

your down payment,” he said. The New Hampshire Housing home ownership website has information about programs, homebuyer resources, calculators and educational videos at GoNHHousing.com. 9 pril 201 Credit unions of AService as like Credit Union also offer their 9 1 0 2 il r p own special programs inas of A cluding one that offers a NG R CHA low-rate adjustable-mortA E Y E ON .2%adjustments gage, E -12with G N A CH capped over time, Gallant E-YEAR N O % said. It also offers anoth-5.4 er that allows for zero percent down. Veterans can take advantage of VA home loans, which offer a no-down payment, fixed loan with certain credit requirements. Citizens Bank and other banks work with buyers to secure FHA loans, traditional first-time homebuyers’ loans and other products exclusive to their banks that fit the customer’s need, said Monbouquette. Citizens Bank’s Destination Home Mortgage, which has income requirements, allows you to put 3 percent down without having to pay mortgage insurance, for example. The loan qualification process is easier now, too, thanks to advanced technology, which affords first-time homebuyers the opportunity to fill out applications and upload documents online to get prequalified for a loan much more quickly. “On a weekend, you can prequalify even if your bank branch is closed. The loan officer can send you an application, you can fill it out, we can pull your credit, and you can receive your pre-approval pretty quickly,” Monbouquette said.

SAL D E S O CL

1,190

AYS D E G AVERA ARKET ON M

BUILD A SOLID FOUNDATION WITH YOUR REAL ESTATE AGENT Many first-time homebuyers walk into an open house and meet the agent behind the table, eager to learn more about a property. However, it’s important to understand that the open house agent is representing the seller in this case. What buyers are really looking for is a buyer’s agent, or an agent who will represent them in the sales transaction, said Heather Stasiak, owner of Studio H Real Estate, LLC, which has offices in Exeter and Dover in New Hampshire. How do you go about finding a buyer’s agent? “Millennials are big into online recommendations for restaurants and other services, but when it comes to a home they know — as other folks do, the best way to find a realtor is through word of mouth,” Stasiak said. “Go to people you trust who have bought before and ask them who they would recommend. Find someone who is passionate about educating you on the process.” When you begin working with your agent, you should first estab-

24 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

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| JUNE 2019 25

lish a relationship and then you can expect to sign a buyer agency contract. You will go over the contract terms and conditions (such as how long you will work with that buyer, and the terms of the commission payment, which the listing agent usually splits with the buyer’s agent) with the agent. Lenders and agents often work closely together on deals, which is why you should find a pair who you trust, as you will be working closely with both people for the next few months, she said. “We are very much in touch with the lender throughout the process, from the starting introduction and pre-approval of the buyer to the final closing numbers and the closing itself,” Stasiak said. “The agent-lender relationship is crucial, which is why it makes it easier for all if the buyer chooses a loan officer that their realtor recommends or vice versa.” Studio H Real Estate employs 21 agents and holds classes to educate buyers, but Stasiak said she likes to work one-on-one with buyers to really understand what they are looking for. Then, she works with the buyer to craft a plan — including house “must-haves,” determining how much renovation work a buyer is willing to do (if any), and what other variables are important — such as school district, city services, length of commute to work, and tax rates.

BE PREPARED FOR A FEW NEW HAMPSHIRE QUIRKS Amy Carr, an agent with Great Island Realty, works with partner Crystal Ducharme in the Seacoast and urges buyers to be as prepared as possible when they start looking. In towns close to the coast, there is limited inventory and bidding wars have become the norm once again. Having both a pre-approval letter and personal letter in hand for the seller can help your chances, she said. Also, apps like Zillow, Trulia, and Realtor.com don’t always provide the full picture of what is available on the market. Although it’s good to take a peek to see what you might be interested in, it’s even more important to talk to your agent about what’s important to you so that they can start talking to other brokers to help you find properties before they hit the internet. “We help buyers learn as much as they can about each community before they make a final decision. Oftentimes that means we look at homes in many towns to narrow down which ones feel right to our buyers,” Carr said. “For growing families, finding a home with extra space that can be finished later (i.e., a basement or third-floor walk-up) could be an important factor, too.” Tax rates in New Hampshire vary widely from town to town and can add a substantial chunk of money to your overall monthly payment. For example, Newington’s tax rate of $9.29 per thousand pales in comparison to its neighbor, Portsmouth, which has a tax rate of $27.52 per thousand. “This is such a tough piece for buyers, as many of the towns with higher taxes are the towns that have more affordable homes,” Carr said. “There are times when the price may be right, but the taxes make that home out of reach.”

26 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

OTHER QUIRKS: • No matter where you live in New Hampshire, you won’t pay income tax if you live and work in state. If you (or your spouse) do cross the border to work in Massachusetts or Maine, it still might be advantageous to live in New Hampshire, but you won’t get the full New Hampshire tax advantage. • Some towns (like Dover, Somersworth and Concord) require you buy trash bags to help defray the cost of trash pickup. Other towns offer no trash pickup at all — to dispose of your garbage and recycling, you might instead need to visit the town’s waste disposal center. • Nervous about having your septic system pumped? Can wells really run dry? While some cities and towns include municipal water and sewer hookups, others require you to manage your own well and septic system. • Depending on where you live in New Hampshire, your public utilities carriers might also be different. For example, some towns are serviced by Eversource and others by Liberty or Unitil. The same goes for internet and cable services: make sure you know ahead of time if your preferred provider services the town you potentially want to live in. • School systems and what they offer also vary widely. If it’s important for you that your city or town has its own high school, do your research. You can see what high school your student would attend by checking out the New Hampshire Department of Education site: www.my.doe.nh.gov/Profiles/PublicReports/PublicReports.aspx?ReportName=HighSchoolTowns • Police and fire comprise large portions of town budgets. In fact, some towns run part-time departments, or even staff them with volunteers. If service from full-time police and fire departments are important to you, avoid searching for houses in towns that do not have these. Krysten Godfrey Maddocks has worked as a journalist and a marketing director, and now regularly writes for higher education and technology organizations in New Hampshire and Massachusetts. Mom to 4-year-old Everett, she has lived on the Seacoast for the past 20 years.

Resources • New Hampshire Realtors: www.nhar.org • Town-by-town tax rates in New Hampshire: www.revenue.nh.gov/mun-prop/municipal/property-tax-rates.htm • New Hampshire Housing offers safe, fixed rate mortgages; rental assistance for low-income families and individuals; and financing for the development of quality, affordable rental housing: www.gonhhousing.com • Information on the five most common types of mortgages: www.bankrate.com

ART. FRIENDS. FUN.

All at the Currier this summer! • Week-long summer Art Camps for kids ages 5 -12 • Week-long Art Intensives for middle schoolers, teens and adults – a.m. and p.m. sessions

Join us! Learn more and register at Currier.org 150 Ash Street, Manchester, NH 03104

www.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 27

30 random things to know about the Granite State Whether you have lived here for a long time or have just moved to the state, here are some fun facts and quirky things that make New Hampshire a unique place to live.

Rank & file IS THE ... NEW HAMPSHIRE

SECOND-BEST STATE TO LIVErld Report) Wo (2019, U.S. News and

TE SIXTH-HEALTHIEST STA IN THE NATION ndation) (2018, United Health Fou

R FIFTH-BEST STATE FOIO N OVERALL EDUCAT ort) World Rep (2019, U.S. News and

FOURTH BEST IN OVERALL PUBLIC SCHOOL RANKINGS (2018, Wallet Hub)

BEST STATE TO RAISE A FAMILY g) (2018, SafeHome.or

Government & statehood New Hampshire has the second-

largest legislature in the United States with 400 state representatives and 24 state senators. State legislators are paid $200 for their two-year term. New Hampshire has 13 municipalities, 221 towns and 22 unincorporated places. You wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hear a lot of talk in these parts about counties, like you do in other states. New Hampshire is instead defined by its 9 geographical regions: Seacoast,

Merrimack Valley, Monadnock, Dartmouth/Lake Sunapee, Lakes, White Mountains and Great North Woods. NH was the first state to have its own state Constitution.

The state was named

for Hampshire, England by Captain John Mason.

28 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

MUSICAL THEATRE FILM CONCERTS $5-10

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For FREE Travel Guide or to view our Beach Cam, visit www.hamptonbeach.org 2015

www.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 29

New Hampshire firsts The first-in-the-nation Presidential

Primary

election is held in the Granite State every four years. Until the 1992 elections, no candidate had ever won Hayward’s ICE CREAM

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the presidency without first winning in New Hampshire.

first state to declare its independence In 1775, New Hampshire became the

from England. The first American in space,

Alan Shepard, was

born in Derry. His historic flight was made in 1961. The first private citizen in the history of space flight was

Christa

McAuliffe, a Concord school teacher. After her death in the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster, a planetarium — a fun place to take the kids — was built in her honor in Concord.

Samuel Shelburne of Portsmouth was the first Attorney General of the United States. He was named to the post in 1789. SOURCE: www.visitnh.gov

LET US MAKE IT A SPLASHTACULAR CELEBRATION! Book a Water Country birthday and let us take care of the details! Parties for up to 20 guests include:

• All-Day Admission! • Balloons! • Birthday Cake! • Birthday Card! • Birthday Announcement on our park-wide P.A. System!

Visit website for a complete list of our birthday packages. NEW ENGLAND’S LARGEST WATER PARK! • WATERCOUNTRY.COM 2300 LAFAYETTE ROAD • PORTSMOUTH, NH, 03801 • 603-427-1111

30 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

A few famous folks from New Hampshire • DAN BROWN & J.D. SALINGER (authors) • DAVID SOUTER (U.S. Supreme Court Justice) • SARAH SILVERMAN, SETH MEYERS & ADAM SANDLER (comedians) • PAUL MICHAEL LEVESQUE, AKA TRIPLE H (professional wrestler) • MANDY MOORE (singer/actress)

ith us at Come party w ! ntal Stadium e D a lt e D t s a Northe

Thursday JUNE 27 6:30–9p.m. Sample the BEST FOOD & DRINK from more than 50 winners. Enter to win our GRAND PRIZE An all-inclusive week’s vacation for four at Squam Lake provided by RDC Resort.

Enjoy ENTERTAINMENT and a SPECTACULAR finale from Atlas Fireworks.

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www.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 31

Get outdoors AT 6,288 FEET, MT. WASHINGTON IS THE HIGHEST PEAK EAST OF THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER. The mountain is popular with hikers, but the weather can be unpredictable and vary widely. It’s not unusual to see snow on the summit in early summer ... for more go to Appalachian Mountain Club. WWW.OUTDOORS.ORG

NEW HAMPSHIRE HAS 2 NATIONAL PARKS AND 19 STATE PARKS. THE STATE HAS 18 MILES OF SHORELINE, WHICH IS THE SHORTEST OCEAN COASTLINE OF ANY STATE. FOR NEARLY 62 YEARS, Mount Washington held the world record for the fastest wind gust ever recorded: 231 miles per hour, recorded April 12, 1934, at the Mount Washington Observatory.

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MOUNTAIN BIKE CAMPS DAY & OVERNIGHT OPTIONS LESSONS & RENTAL PACKAGES 603.286.7677

THE OLD FARMER’S ALMANAC HAS BEEN PRINTED SINCE 1792.

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Places to go

I CAN BE A CENSUS TAKER APPLY ONLINE! 2020census.gov/jobs

Hello?

Have you heard about the New Hampshire Telephone Museum in Warner? The museum has more than 1,000 artifacts related to the history of telecommunications. You can take a guided or self-guided tour. In summer 2019, the special exhibit is “That’s Entertainment: The Telephone’s Role in Cinema, Television and Music.” WWW.NHTELEPHONEMUSEUM.ORG.

Federal Relay Service: 1-800-877-8339 TTY/ASCII www.gsa.gov/fedrelay

If you’d like to take another shot at beating the high score on Defender or Donkey Kong, you’ll find these games and more at the American Classic Arcade Museum located at Funspot in Laconia. The museum’s goal is to preserve the history of coinoperated arcade games. More than an arcade, the museum is a learning opportunity for those wanting to know more about the legacy of these games. WWW.CLASSIC

The U.S. Census Bureau is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

ARCADEMUSEUM.ORG

2020 Census jobs provide: Great pay Flexible hours Weekly pay

Paid training For more information or help applying, please call

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Chutters in Littleton is home to the World’s Largest Candy Counter. You’ll need a while to explore all 112 feet of sweet treats. It’s been open for more than 100 years.

32 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

Get ready for

summer

fun

Pick up your copy of ParentingNHâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Family Summer Fun Guide 2019 in June.

FROM FROM Find it at hundreds of locations in NH, as well as Manchester-Boston Regional Airport and several Welcome Centers across the state.

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| JUNE 2019 33

Have food, will Food truck festivals have been gaining in popularity over the past few years in the Granite State. Are you a food truck devotee? Have you always wanted to go to a food truck festival, but never been to one? Here is a list of 12 food truck festivals you’ll find in New Hampshire this summer. There’s sure to be one near you. Be sure to bring cash and wear elastic-waist pants.

Food Trucks for CASA NH

NEW HAMPSHIRE FOOD TRUCKS

Friday, May 31 to Sunday, June 2 SOUTHERN NEW HAMPSHIRE UNIVERSITY IN MANCHESTER

A mobile meal for a good cause — all the profits go to Court Appointed Special Advocates of NH. WWW.FOODTRUCKSFORCASA.COM

3rd annual Seacoast Food Truck and Craft Beer Festival Saturday, June 8, 1-7 p.m. DOWNTOWN SOMERSWORTH

Free entry, live music all day, cold beer on tap and of course many culinary creations. WWW. FACEBOOK.COM/EVENTS/2231364010442458

Great American Ribfest & Food Truck Festival Friday, June 14 to Friday, June 16 ANHEUSER BUSCH BREWERY, MERRIMACK

Formerly the Rock ‘n Ribfest, this event has expanded its food offerings. The event benefits the community through the Merrimack Rotary club. WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/EVENTS/ 303967813609510

5 4

Lebanon Food Truck Festival Friday, June 21 and Saturday, June 22 COLBURN PARK HISTORIC DISTRICT IN LEBANON

Sample from a variety of New England food trucks and enjoy drinks from Salt Hill Pub. Limited tickets available. WWW.FACEBOOK. COM/EVENTS/939530969589625

34 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

3rd annual Amherst NH Food Truck Festival Sunday, June 23, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. AMHERST GARDEN CENTER IN AMHERST

A true community event, this year part of the event proceeds will go to help local veterans. WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/EVENTS/1111211249039825

travel 6

7 Food Truck Festival at the Fisher Cats

Strafford NH Food Truck Festival

Friday, July 12 and Saturday, July 13 NORTHEAST DELTA DENTAL STADIUM IN MANCHESTER

Wednesday, July 3, noon to 5 p.m.

Food trucks on the field! Play tailgate games in the outfield and bring a blanket to have a ballpark picnic. WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/

AT THE GRANGE HALL IN STRAFFORD

Come out to support the Bow Lake Community Club at its first-ever food truck festival. WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/ EVENTS/273787656839603

ROCK

EVENTS/2378284375555668

8 9

Black Mountain Food Truck Festival Saturday, July 20, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. BLACK MOUNTAIN SKI AREA IN JACKSON

Live music on the deck, family-friendly games, seven food trucks and the Lostbo Pub will be open. WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/ EVENTS/419901448821246

Great New England BBQ & Food Truck Festival Saturday, Aug.10 and Sunday, Aug. 11 HAMPSHIRE DOME AT HAMPSHIRE HILLS IN MILFORD

Highlights include live music, libations tent, eating contests and cornhole tournament. WWW.GNECRAFTARTISANSHOWS.COM

0

FOR MORE INFORMATION AND ADDITIONAL SUMMER EVENTS, GO TO WWW.PARENTINGNH.COM.

6th annual New Hampshire Food Truck Festival Sunday, Aug.18, noon-5 p.m. CISCO BREWERS IN PORTSMOUTH

Find out how to become a VIP so you have an extra hour to enjoy the large selection of bites and brews. WWW.FOODTRUCKFESTIVALSOFAMERICA.COM/NEW-HAMPSHIRE



New London Food Truck Festival When: Sunday, Sept. 15, noon-4 p.m NEW LONDON RECREATION DEPARTMENT IN NEW LONDON

This first-ever food truck festival is being held to fund scholarships and literacy programs. Live music by Rusted Chrome. WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/EVENTS/1585070951636723



4th annual Southern New Hampshire Food Festival Saturday, Sept. 21, 1-6 p.m. HOLMAN STADIUM IN NASHUA

This year’s event features even more food trucks, live music, DJ, giant yard games and a cornhole tournament. WWW.IUGONASHUA.COM

www.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 35

FRAUD PROTECTION: Keeping c

Identity theft isn’t just an issue for adults. Unfortu-

nately, fraudsters often target children. ParentingNH reached out to a trio of experts to learn how to spot fraud, what can be done about it, and what rights parents have when it comes to protecting their — and their children’s — identities. OUR EXPERTS: Lisa VanBiene, Vice President Member Services, Triangle Credit Union; trianglecu.org, Abbe Shaine, Shaine Law; shainelaw.com; and Timothy Chevalier, Esq., Chevalier Legal Services, PLLC

How are children affected by identity fraud? VanBiene: “Over one million children are affected by identity theft every year, creating over $2 billion in expenditure nationally. It’s a growing issue with the availability of online information — and it’s increasing yearly.”

36 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

What are some of the warning signs that a child’s identity has been stolen? Shaine: “It is particularly difficult to detect because sometimes the child does not try to use his or her identity until years after the fraud. The most common form of identity theft involving children is called ‘synthetic identity.’ This happens when the fraudster combines someone’s social security number with a fake name and identification. “There are some signs you might see if your child’s identity has been stolen. For example, if your child receives a summons for jury duty, don’t dismiss it as a bureaucratic error. If your child receives a pre-approved offer for a credit card or an actual card (not as an authorized user) in the mail, that is also a red flag. If you apply for government benefits and your child is turned down because benefits are already being paid to that social security number, that too needs investigating. A fraud victim could also find that a bank

account or other financial account for the child cannot be opened because of negative information on a credit report or because they are on the ChexSystems report, which lists people who have caused a problem with respect to a bank account.”

What are some of the steps I can take if I suspect fraud has occurred? Shaine: “If you suspect fraud, consider contacting the three credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion) to have them implement a credit freeze. If you do not want to take that step, you can at least have them institute a fraud alert for your child’s Social Security number. You should also request a credit report. Contact both the state attorney general’s office and the police; request a copy of any report that they prepare. If there are any financial institutions listed on your child’s credit report, contact each one and request that your child’s

NH Lawyer Referral Service (LRS)

children safe account be closed immediately. Make a detailed list of every call you make and each step that you take.”

What are some of the common mistakes that lead to identity fraud? Shaine: “Children’s personal identifying information is freely shared, often with organizations that are not really equipped to protect it from theft. Schools, camps, scout organizations, and youth athletic organizations, among others, may include a request for a social security number on a form to be completed. Make sure you ask why the organization is requesting the information, how it intends to use it, and how it will protect it. If you do not get satisfactory answers to these questions, work with the organization to see if they will agree that they don’t really need it.”

How can parents protect their children? VanBiene: “First, you can freeze your child’s credit file for free at the three credit reporting agencies, restricting the ability to open credit using their Social Security number.” Shaine: “Regular monitoring of whether your child’s identity has been stolen is the best way to ensure detection of someone does steal your child’s information. When you request that information from TransUnion, they will have you fill out an initial form, after which they will request certain information from you to ensure that you are legally entitled to this information. In the case of Equifax, you will need to write to their Minor Child Department. Include a copy of the child’s birth certificate, a copy of their Social Security card, and a copy of your driver’s license or other government-issued identification. Experian requires slightly more information. In addition to the information Equifax requests, Experian will want your child’s birthday and their address for the last two years.”

What should I do once I’ve discovered my identity/data has been compromised? Chevalier: “You can obtain a free copy of your credit report from the three major credit reporting agencies at www.annualcreditreport.com. You should collect any information available to you regarding the theft. Once you have this information, you should consult with an attorney about steps to take to protect your interest, such as properly disputing the bill with a credit card company. You should also consider a security freeze or credit monitoring to provide additional protection. “For referrals to licensed and insured attorneys who practices in this or any area of law, contact the NH Lawyer Referral Service, a free public service of the NH Bar Association. Call (603) 229-0002 or visit www.nhbar.org.”

There are times in life when you need legal help. ✓ Home Purchase ✓ Wills & Trusts ✓ Family Law ✓ Education Rights ✓ Debt Collections ✓ Personal Injury ✓ and more...

When it matters most, LRS can help.

Call 603.229.0002 or visit nhbar.org to request a referral online. Not sure if you can afford a lawyer, ask about the Modest Means Legal Program.

What legal rights do I have under the Fair Credit Billing Act if my financial information has been compromised? Chevalier: “If you are a victim of credit card fraud, you may be protected by The Fair Credit Billing Act. The Act protects certain individuals who are liable on an open-ended credit account. The act protects individuals from several types of billing errors. These errors include situations where a credit card company extends credit to an individual who was not authorized to use a credit card. “If you are the victim of identity theft that leads to a billing error, you must properly notify the creditor within a short period of time, or you will not trigger the creditor’s duties under the act. You must provide the creditor with written notice of the error within 60 days after the date on the first bill that contains the error. You should keep a copy of the notice. If the creditor fails to comply with the act, you will be better protected if you can prove that you took the proper steps to invoke the protection of the act, but that the creditor still failed to comply.

Shaine Law

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15 Constitution Dr., Suite 1A, Bedford, NH 03110 603-714-7268 • www.shainelaw.com • ShainelawNH@gmail.com www.parentingnh.com

| JUNE 2019 37

“The act does not require the creditor remove a charge just because you claim to be the victim of identity theft. The act does, however, require the creditor to perform a proper investigation and to comply with the act. If the creditor violates the act, you may be entitled to attorney fees, actual damages and statutory damages. If you are the victim of identity theft, you should act quickly to limit the damage. You should seek the assistance of an attorney to provide you with advice on your specific situation, including the steps to take to trigger the protection provided by the act. An attorney can help you determine whether you are protected by the act, can help you invoke the protections of the act, and can assist you with litigation against the creditor if they fail to comply with the act.”

Does New Hampshire have any laws protecting victims of identity theft? Chevalier: “Yes, identity fraud is a felony in New Hampshire. Identity fraud includes posing as another person to obtain goods and services. It also includes obtaining personal identifying information about another person, without authorization, with the intent to pose as that person. If you are the victim of identity fraud, the court

can order the person found guilty of this crime to make restitution for your loss. “Victims of identity theft also have a right, under state law, to bring a lawsuit against an individual who violates RSA 359-I. The law enables victims to recover $5,000, or more, for each violation, along with attorney’s fees. “State law also requires consumer credit reporting agencies to provide victims of identity theft with a copy of his or her credit report without charge. As of January 1, 2019, state law also enables consumers to place a security freeze on a credit report. The security freeze prohibits the consumer reporting agency from releasing information in the credit report without express authorization. “While the law provides many protections, an identity theft victim must be proactive to take advantage of these protections. The law recognizes that some violations will require the assistance of an attorney. By including fee shifting provisions for some forms of identity theft, the law potentially moves more of the cost of identity theft away from the victim and to the person responsible for the crime. If you are the victim of identity theft, you should consult with an attorney for further advice.”

How is Triangle Credit Union helping to protect against childhood identity fraud? VanBiene: “We’ve paired our checking account with identity protection services to create Better Checking. Better Checking with IDProtect includes all the regular services you’d expect of your checking with the added benefits of identity theft monitoring and resolution services for the account holder and their eligible family members, including their children.”

How does Better Checking with IDProtect differ from other identity protection services? VanBiene: “It includes credit file monitoring at all three credit bureaus and sends alerts for any inquiries or changes to your credit, quarterly credit reports and credit scores, debit and credit card registration, as well as cell phone coverage. And this is all included for a monthly maintenance fee of only $4.99. “Plus, Triangle’s ‘Making Money Personal’ podcast features guest speakers and in-depth discussion on protecting your child’s identity, plus so many more topics that affect everyday financial choices. I encourage you to visit our website, www.trianglecu.org, for all the details.”

LISTEN TO OUR

PODCAST SPECIAL EPISODE

CHILD IDENTITY THEFT AND WAYS TO AVOID IT

In this episode we wanted to expose the rising threat of child identity theft and provide insight into the steps you can take to safeguard your children against this growing issue.

Scan to listen now:

Listen on your favorite podcast app

trianglecu.org

(603) 889-2470

38 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

Podcast hosted by: Terri Connolly Wilmer Infante

ParentingNH, New Hampshire’s first and only statewide magazine for parents of children and teens, was recognized in 11 categories, including General Excellence, at the Parenting Media Association’s 2019 Editorial and Design Awards. The magazine won a silver award for overall General Excellence. Also, gold awards for Best Redesigned Publication, Best Website, Humor Column and Publisher’s Editor’s Note; silver awards for Overall Writing, Non-Traditional Story Form Feature, Special Series, Ancillary Publication General Excellence and Ancillary Publication Overall Design for its Family Summer Fun Guide, and a bronze award for Profile Story. Thanks to our readers and advertising partners, ParentingNH, a resource for parents since 1993, is looking forward to being able to continue to provide accurate and up-to-date information on important issues to Granite State families.

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| JUNE 2019 39

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dad on board WAIT … WHERE IS SHE GOING? MY DAUGHTER IS HEADED TO A FARAWAY LAND WHERE THERE ARE NO MOUSE EARS OR DOLE WHIP • BY BILL BURKE In two days I’ll be sending my daughter off to the Galapagos Islands. Yes, those Galapagos Islands. There aren’t any at Epcot (I checked), which means that for the first time ever, we’re sending our kid out of the country without us. Despite being a somewhat overprotective dad prone to freaking out about things, I’m fine — mostly. I think that’s because it’s been pretty shocking how little I knew about where we’d be sending our 16-yearold. As we gathered for the first planning meeting last fall, we were presented with an exciting proposition: Teacher: “Your child has the opportunity to travel to the Galapagos Islands.” Me: “Definitely. She’s in. Excellent. Also — where are the Galapagos Islands?” Thanks to the teachers who are leading the trip, I did learn a few things about her upcoming destination: • The islands are about 1,000 km (about six of our American blocks, I think) off the coast of Ecuador. • Ecuador uses the U.S. dollar as its currency. • Its time zone is two hours behind us here in New Hampshire, and it’s just a six-hour flight to Quito, the country’s capital. • The islands were named for the dashingly handsome Jimmy Galapagos. Probably not that last thing. But I did continue to surprise myself with how willfully blind I was to the whole experience. I think part of it was that I had no idea what the place even looks like. She may as well be going on a school trip to Jupiter. Last September, when we met with her teachers to learn about this now-imminent adventure, it seemed like a good idea. It all seemed great up until today when our neighbor, whose daughter is also going on the trip, asked if there would be flotation devices for the kids when they go snorkeling in the ocean with the sharks and the megalodons and the typhoid and such. There was a brief moment when I gave into my nervous instincts. I started to wish she was going to some other island — Plum, or even Gilligan’s. Some place I could envision. Instead we’re putting her on a bus that will take her to a plane that will get her to the west coast of South America, and then out onto a spit of volcanic land in the Pacific Ocean where a lot of unique and odd animals live. And she’ll be able to get up close to them and experience something quite different from our normal vacations, which also involve unique and odd animals — typically a mouse that wears red pants and a duck that doesn’t wear any. By the time this is published, she will have gone on the trip, experienced things I never dreamed she’d have an opportunity to experience, and returned home safely. At least, that’s what I’m going with. Bill Burke is a writer who made it through an entire column about the Galapagos Islands without making a joke about Blue Footed Boobies. He lives in southern New Hampshire with his wife and world-traveling daughter and is Managing Editor of Custom Publications for McLean Communications.

40 www.parentingnh.com | JUNE 2019

house calls HELP YOUR TEEN KEEP THEIR EYES ON THE ROAD ELIMINATING DISTRACTIONS AND SETTING A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR THEM ARE KEY BY CHELSIE MOSTONE In today’s fast-paced world we’ve become accustomed to having news and information whenever we want it. These constant updates can be detrimental — especially for teens. The main cause of teen distracted driving is they can’t wait until they get home to look at a text message or other social media. It’s also peer pressure from friends who want an immediate answer. And, smartphones, with new programs coming out all the time, provide a continuous stream of new distractions. On the flip side, smartphones can also help prevent distracted driving. There are many smartphone apps that can disable phones while driving. Some are built in to the phone’s operating system while others can be downloaded. One example is if a driver gets a text an automated reply is sent that the driver is on the road and will get back to the sender once they have reached their destination. Another way to prevent distracted driving is to encourage passengers to speak up and tell their driver to put their phone down. Evidence shows that passengers in a car with a teen driver are actually the number one cause of distraction. When talking with your teen, encourage them to speak up, and say to a friend, “Hey, that’s unsafe,” when they feel their friend is making an unsafe choice while driving — friends speaking up tends to be a better way to get through to teens to get them to understand they need to put their phone down while driving. We work with many schools and use observational assessment data to track how many people we see that are using electronic devices while driving. We then use that data to educate through guest speakers, public service announcements, or the use of virtual reality goggles that simulate real-life scenarios, such as distracted driving. In New Hampshire, distracted driving is one of the top three causes of traffic crashes — from fender benders to fatal events. Impairment and speed are the other top ones. Ninety-four percent of all car crashes are preventable; this is why we don’t call them accidents, we call them crashes. The top three causes of crashes are all a result of choices that drivers are making behind the wheel. Since the Hands Free Law went into effect in New Hampshire in 2015, distracted driving crashes have decreased. This law prohibits the use of hand-held devices while driving, but allows the use of a Bluetooth device if over the age of 18. If caught using a hand-held device while driving there are substantial fines. Distracted driving is an easy thing to think about, but focusing on driving is a constant challenge. All drivers need to stay focused while driving, and parents need to set an example for their teens. Put down your phone.

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TOGETHER WE explore Discover new adventures with NHPBS this summer!

MOLLY OF DENALI Premieres July 15

READY JET GO!

WILD KRATTS ALASKA

CURIOUS GEORGE:

HERO’S JOURNEY

July 15 & 19

ONE SMALL STEP

July 4, 8 & 20 BACK TO THE JUNGLE

July 15, 17 & 19

Chelsie L. Mostone is the Highway Safety Specialist at the Injury Prevention Center at the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock. CELEBRATING 60 YEARS SPONSORED BY

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| JUNE 2019 41

out & about

The music of Rockspring entertained audiences with bluegrass standards, rock and folk originals at last year’s Best of NH. PHOTO BY WENDY WOOD

COMPILED BY MELANIE HITCHCOCK

Best of NH Party 27 THURSDAY MANCHESTER – Northeast Delta Dental Stadium. Don’t miss the hottest and tastiest summer party of the year, featuring all of your favorite food and drink, plus a few places NH Magazine editors think you should know about. Admission includes all-you-care-to-enjoy food, beer, wine, cocktails, live entertainment, music and an Atlas Fireworks show. The Best of NH Party is a rain-orshine event that is held outdoors on the stadium’s covered concourse. This year’s new nonprofit partner is CASA of New Hampshire. Make sure to stop by their booth for your chance to win great prizes provided by Best of NH winners. Tickets: $65; age 4-12, $19. www.nhmagazine.com

‘A LOG’S LIFE’ TALE TRAIL WEEKDAYS THROUGH JUNE 30 CANTERBURY – Petals in the Pines, 126 Baptist Road. The Tale Trails are back with new stories. This season kicks off with “A Log’s Life” by Michelle Pfeffer. Find

out what happens when an oak tree falls to the forest floor. Many new creatures will come to depend on it for their home. The story comes to life as you read it and walk alongside logs in our woods. The book pages lead you to the Nature Explore Outdoor Classroom where activities and fun play areas await

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you. Visitors can walk the self-guided Tale Trails daily from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Admission is $5 per child; infants free. Trails are not suitable for strollers or pets. 783-0220; www.petalsinthepines.com

modern and hip-hop dance. Tickets: adults, $20; youth/seniors, $14. Show times: Saturday, 2 and 7 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m. 358-2168; www.keene.universitytickets.com

TOUCH-A-TRUCK 1 SATURDAY

Explore the Tale Trail COURTESY PHOTO

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 1-2 SATURDAY-SUNDAY KEENE – Redfern Arts Center, 229 Main St. It’s a tale as old as time – the classic story of an arrogant prince who is cursed to live as a terrifying beast until he finds true love. Beauty and the Beast is performed by MoCo Arts dancers in second through 12th grade and features ballet, tap, jazz,

DERRY – West Running Brook Middle School, 1 West Running Brook Lane. This family fun event offers hands-on opportunities for children to explore, climb and touch trucks, emergency response vehicles, heavy machinery, and other equipment. A horn/siren free hour will be from 10-11 a.m. Event also features BMX Stunt Show. Food trucks on site. Bring a non-perishable food item or canned good to help fill a DPW truck for the Derry Food Pantry. 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Free. 432-6121

SHREK JR. 4-5 TUESDAYWEDNESDAY MANCHESTER – Palace Theatre, 80 Hanover St. Once upon a time, in a far away swamp, there lived an ogre named Shrek. One day, Shrek finds his swamp invaded by banished fairytale misfits who have been cast off by Lord Farquaad, a tiny terror with big ambitions. When Shrek sets off with a wisecracking donkey to confront Farquaad, he’s handed a task — if he rescues feisty princess Fiona, his swamp will be righted. Performed by the Palace Teen Apprentice Company. Tickets: Adults, $15; kids, $10. Show at 7:30 p.m. each night. 668-5588; www.palacetheatre.org

World Ocean Day Family Festival 9 SUNDAY RYE – Seacoast Science Center, 570 Ocean Boulevard. World Ocean Day is a global celebration and collaboration for a healthier future for our ocean. Our health and our ocean’s health are connected. Activities include hands-on learning stations, ocean-related crafts, face painting ($1 donation), tide pooling, beach cleanup, food, dance party and more. Go to website for event schedule. 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. $20 per carload; members free. www.seacoastsciencecenter.org

CHAD EAST-WEST NH HIGH SCHOOL ALL-STAR FOOTBALL GAME

COURTESY PHOTO

29 SATURDAY DURHAM – UNH Wildcat Stadium, 155 Main St. New Hampshire’s top football players meet up for one final game to raise money for the families and services at the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock. The family-friendly event pits seniors from high schools across the state in an East vs. West battle while also teaching them about community service, philanthropy and humility. Tickets: General admission, $10; Tuckaway Tavern Tailgate BBQ, $30; and $50 for the all-youcan-eat buffet in the stadium club. Kickoff is at 6 p.m. www. chadallstarfootball.org

REVOLUTIONARY STORY TIME 6 THURSDAY EXETER – Folsom Tavern, 164 Water St. Re-enactor and musician Mike Welch will share books, stories, crafts, and music. Designed for ages 3 to 5, the program features books, stories, crafts, and music in the first 30 minutes. Parent-supervised playtime follows and includes crafts, imaginary play, colonial games and period dress-up. This story time will also be held every first Thursday of the month through December. Free. 2 to 4 p.m. www.independencemuseum.org

HOLLIS STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL AND CONCERT 23 SUNDAY HOLLIS – 2 Monument Square. The 72nd annual Strawberry Festival will feature the best of the best – local strawberries, homemade biscuits, hand-whipped cream and homemade ice cream. A family fun event with games, face

painting, stories in the Children’s Library, and craft vendors. Entertainment provided by the award-winning Hollis Town Band. Free admission. 2 to 4 p.m. www.holliswomensclub.org

TALES OF NEW HAMPSHIRE FAMILY STORY TIME 25 TUESDAY CONCORD – New Hampshire Historical Society, 30 Park St. This weekly story hour is the perfect introduction for young children to all the things that make the Granite State a great place to live. Story time is Tuesdays at 10 a.m. June 25 to July 30. Suggested for ages 3 to 8 but all ages welcome. Free. No registration required. 228-6688; www.nhhistory.org

For Memorial Day event and parade listings visit www. parentingnh.com

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time out

GUY’S DAY OUT: BIKES, RIBS AND BREWS BY MELANIE HITCHCOCK

Be Merry

n June, the weather is heating up and so is the summer calendar. It is also a month of celebrations including graduations, and of course, Father’s Day. Dad, put the mower away for the weekend and shut down your work email. Check out our event picks for where you can eat, drink and be merry with your friends — or mom — this month.

Laconia Motorcycle Week, dubbed ‘The World’s Oldest Motorcycle Rally’ is one of the largest events in New Hampshire each year. Celebrating 96 years in 2019, this year’s rally is Saturday, June 8 to Sunday, June 16, with several events being held each day. Weirs Beach is the heart of the rally — it’s where you will find the majority of vendors and entertainment. But there’s also plenty of music and fun going on in the surrounding area. Motorcycle optional. For a complete list of what’s going on throughout the week, check out the rally website.

Eat

Drink

The Rock ‘n Ribfest held for many years at Anheuser Busch Brewery in Merrimack may be no more, but don’t put away the napkins just yet. The revamped Great American Ribfest & Food Truck Festival is taking its place — same place, same time. No matter what day of the weekend you go on, there’s a full slate of musical entertainment — from pop to rock to country, and plenty of barbecued everything to chow on. Leave your good shirt at home and bring your appetite.

Grab your tasting glass and enjoy sampling a variety of beers at the New England Brewfest, one of the longest-running beer festivals in New England. In addition to the many brews there is plenty of food, music, games and contests to fill your afternoon. Rumor has it that this year’s brewfest is lumberjack-themed so make sure to wear some plaid. If four hours isn’t a long enough time for you to sample, buy a VIP ticket and get two extra hours. All tickets go fast so purchase in advance. This is a 21-plus event (so you really do have to leave the kids at home).

Friday, June 14 to Sunday, June 16 • Anheuser Busch Brewery in Merrimack www.greatamericanribfest.com

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Saturday, June 22 • Loon Mountain Resort in Lincoln www.nebrewfest.com

Saturday, June 8 to Sunday, June 16 www.laconiamcweek.com

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TOP DOCTORS AND COUNTING We’re proud of the 112 doctors from across the Dartmouth-Hitchcock Health System featured on this year’s New Hampshire Magazine’s Top Doctors list. Thank you for your expert knowledge and compassionate care, and for helping us have more top doctors than any other health system or hospital in New Hampshire.

Alice Peck Day Memorial Hospital, Cheshire Medical Center, Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, Mt. Ascutney Hospital and Health Center, New London Hospital, Visiting Nurse and Hospice for Vermont and New Hampshire, Dartmouth-Hitchcock practice sites at more than 24 locations throughout the region. dartmouth-hitchcock.org

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Denise Aaron MD Stacey Abbis MD William Abdu MD MS Daniel Albert MD Bruce Andrus MD MS Bradley Arrick MD PhD Emily Baker MD Perry Ball MD James Bartels MD Richard Barth Jr. MD Joan Crane Barthold MD Barbara Bates MD John Batsis MD David Bauer MD Valerie Bell MD John-Erik Bell MD Elizabeth Bengtson MD Paul Bettinger MD William Bihrle III MD Brian Binczewski MD William Black MD Annika Brown MD Jack Bueno MD Christopher Burns MD Mark Carney MD Samuel Casella MD Mary Chamberlin MD M. Shane Chapman MD Jeffrey Cohen MD Phillip Collins MD Richard Comi MD James DeVries MD Todd Dombrowski MD MS Konstantin Dragnev MD Richard I. Enelow MD Elisabeth Erekson MD MPH David Finley MD Timothy Fisher MD MS Evelyn Fleming MD Naomi Gauthier MD Marc Gautier MD Jennifer Glatz MD Patricia Glowa MD Philip Goodney MD MS Stuart Gordon MD E. Ann Gormley MD Benoit Gosselin MD James Gray MD MS Sherry Guardiano DO Matthew Hand DO Jeffrey Harnsberger MD Cherie Holmes MD MSC Paul Holtzheimer MD Joseph Hou MD Kathyryn Hourdequin MD

John Jayne MD Scott Jaynes MD Barbara Jobst MD J. Gilliam Johnston II MD Julie Kim MD PhD Alan Kono MD Stacey Kopp MD Kevin Kwaku MD PhD William Laycock MD Gregory Leather MD Lisa Leinau MD Stephen Liu MD MPH Keith Loud MD MS Harold Manning MD Heather Marks MD M.T. Charisse Marquez MD Keith McAvoy MD Jock McCullough MD Kenneth Meehan MD John Moeschler MD Patrick Morhun MD Srikrishna Nagri MD Catherine Pipas MD Emil Pollak JR. MD Richard Powell MD Anthony Presutti MD Brian Remillard MD William Rigby MD Steven Ringer MD PhD Lara Ronan MD Kari Rosenkranz MD Richard Rothstein MD Nina Sand-Loud MD Andrew Schuman MD Gary Schwartz MD Keisuke Shirai MD MSC Corey Siegel MD MS Mark Silbey MD Nathan Simmons MD Lijun Song MD PhD Andrew Spector MD David Stone MD Arief Suriawinata MD Vijay Thadani MD PhD Andrew Trembley MD Vijaya Upadrasta MD Dale Vidal MD Adam Weinstein MD Wendy Wells MD Loyd West MD Brent White MD Jill Winslow MD Jan Wollack MD PhD Alicia Zbehlik MD