Parenting NH October 2017

parenting

COMPLIMENTARY

OCTOBER 2017

NEW HAMPSHIRE

HALLOWEEN FAMILY FUN Civic Engagement for Youth Healthy Families 20-PAGE SPECIAL SECTION

ParentingNH.com

Your Health, Our Trusted Experts...

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contents

october 10

Democracy 15 Deconstructed Healthy Families PART 3 OF A 4-PART SERIES

20-PAGE SPECIAL SECTION

Halloween Happenings

NEW HAMPSHIRE PRESIDENT/PUBLISHER:

Sharron McCarthy, x5117 smccarthy@mcleancommunications.com EDITOR:

Melanie Hitchcock, x5157 editor@parentingnh.com GROUP ADVERTISING SALES DIRECTOR:

Kimberly Lencki, x5154 klencki@mcleancommunications.com CREATIVE SERVICES DIRECTOR:

Jodie Hall, x5122 jhall@nhbr.com SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER:

Nancy Tichanuk, x5116 ntichanuk@mcleancommunications.com MARKETING REPRESENTATIVES:

Barbara Gallaher, x5156 bgallaher@parentingnh.com Debbie Birch, x5133 dbirch@parentingnh.com OFFICE MANAGER:

Mista McDonnell, x5114 mmcdonnell@nhbr.com EVENT & MARKETING MANAGER:

Erica Baglieri, x5125 ebaglieri@mcleancommunications.com BUSINESS & SALES COORDINATOR:

Heather Rood, x5110 hrood@mcleancommunications.com DIGITAL MEDIA SPECIALIST:

departments 5 The Short List 6 I Want That 8 Cook with Your Kids 38 Dad on Board 40 Learning Curve 41 House Calls 42 Raising Teens & Tweens 43 Out and About 44 Five for Families 47 From the Editor’s Desk

Morgen Connor, x5149 mconnor@mcleancommunications.com 150 Dow Street, Manchester, NH 03101 (603) 624-1442, fax (603) 624-1310

www.parentingnh.com Subscription: One year (12 issues) $15

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Parenting New Hampshire Magazine® is published by McLean Communications, 150 Dow St., Manchester, NH 03101, (603) 624-1442. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited. The publisher assumes no responsibility for any mistakes in advertisements or editorial. Statements/opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect or represent those of this publication or its officers. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this publication, McLean Communications, LLC.: Parenting New Hampshire Magazine disclaims all responsibility for omission and errors.

from the editor’s desk PUTTING THE SPOTLIGHT ON THE GRANITE STATE’S TOP TEACHERS I had a number of teachers in elementary, junior high and high school, who were creative and caring, innovative and inspiring. But it was the teacher I had for first and second grade that made the largest impression. Eleanor Poulin is one of the nicest people I can ever remember meeting. And even in a class of about 25 kids, she found the time to give me individualized attention. I learned how to read early and entered first grade already a voracious reader. Instead of making me stay with my reading group, she set me up on an individualized reading comprehension skills tool (does anyone remember SRA Cards?) and encouraged me to learn as much and as fast as I wanted to. She was able to figure out that I was a kid who needed a challenge and who worked best at my own pace. I thrived in her classroom. Most importantly, she made me feel special. In honor of great teachers like Eleanor Poulin, Parenting New Hampshire is launching a recognition program – New Hampshire’s Top Teachers. Through the month of October we will be accepting nominations via an online form on our website and feature several teachers, from preschool through high school, in our special December issue. One will be selected by Parenting NH to appear on that month’s cover. We want to hear from parents about the teacher that brings out the best in

your child and from teachers who have colleagues that have helped to make them better teachers. Tell us about the teachers throughout the state who are making an impact in their classrooms and districts and creatively engage their students. December is the month of giving, so there is no better time to show appreciation to the teachers that give so much to us and our kids every day. Look for additional information and the nomination form at www.parentingnh.com starting Oct. 1.

Melanie Hitchcock Editor

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the short list ...TIPS, TRENDS & NEWS COMPILED BY MELANIE HITCHCOCK

Help us honor

Does your child have a favorite teacher they can’t stop talking about? Are you a teacher who wants to brag about an inspiring colleague? Are you a principal who wants to bring attention to a special teacher in your school? Nominate them to be recognized in Parenting New Hampshire’s first-ever Top Teacher issue in December. Parenting NH wants to hear from you about those dedicated and talented teachers who not only are excited about teaching but also get students excited about learning. The magazine will select several teachers to feature in the December 2017 issue. One will be selected by Parenting NH to appear on the cover. The nomination period is Oct. 1 to 31. You can find the nomination form at www.parentingnh.com.

Little Free Libraries pop up all over Nashua Through a partnership with BAE Systems, the Nashua Public Library, and P&L Landscaping, United Way of Greater Nashua has brought eight Little Free Libraries to Nashua. The Little Free Libraries are comprised of a small house about 2 ½ feet square on a post and are filled with free books. They are placed in “book deserts” around the community — a location typically far enough away from a public library or other source of books and also in a low/mixed-income neighbor-

hood. It’s a nationally recognized approach to creating community through reading. The 8 Little Free Libraries can be found at the Nashua Rail Trail, Labine Park, Legacy Playground, Lamprey Healthcare, the Adult Learning Center, the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, the Greater Nashua Dental Connection and the United Way office on Broad Street. Go to www.littlefreelibrary.org/ourmap to see if your town or city participates in the program.

Water’s Extreme Journey on exhibit at SEE Science Center Enter into a raindrop and journey through mountains, lakes, rivers and even your own backyard. In the new Water’s Extreme Journey maze exhibit at See Science Center, visitors will be challenged to stay clean and reach the healthy ocean. The SEE Science Center is bringing this exhibition to Manchester through Jan. 15, 2018. The exhibit is included with SEE Science Center admission. Created by world-renowned marine life artist Wyland and Seattle-based Minotaur Mazes, Water’s Extreme Journey blends art, science and action. “Our goal is to immerse you in the subject by making you a raindrop susceptible to the whims of human activities,” Wyland said. Through a partnership with Manchester Water Works, the local watershed will be highlighted. The exhibit will also include a model of a Slingshot water purification machine designed by SEE Founder Dean Kamen’s DEKA Research & Development.

Merrimack mom and Prader-Willi Syndrome advocate honored The Council for Youths with Chronic Conditions presented its annual Spirit Award this summer to Maureen Tracy of Merrimack, who leads the New Hampshire Chapter of the Prader-Willi Syndrome Association. Prader-Willi Syndrome is a complex genetic condition that causes a constant sense of hunger and can lead to a number of physical, mental and behavioral problems. Each year the CYCC awards a plaque and contribution to a nonprofit that serves the needs of families and children with chronic conditions. For more information about the Council for Youths with Chronic Conditions, go to www.nhcycc. org or go to www.pwsausa.org/new-hampshire-chapter for more information on the NH Chapter of Prader-Willi Syndrome.

6 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

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Pick up your free copy of Parenting New Hampshire magazine at several hundred locations throughout the state! You can also visit us at parentingnh.com. Our website is mobile and tablet compatible, so you can read us anytime, anywhere!

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I want that COMPILED BY MELANIE HITCHCOCK

October is Fire Prevention Month The Mini Firefighter is a portable, eco-friendly fire extinguisher that is as compact and easy to use as a can of hairspray. Mini Firefighter is the only compact extinguisher that works on four different fire types – including oil and grease – which is the cause of 80 percent of home fires. This inexpensive tool can be used safely and effectively by everyone in the family. Four-year shelf life. Non-toxic.

Local hiker’s tale Bob Hikes Mount Monadnock is a story about a boy’s love for adventure and nature. Local author Brian Macdonald wrote the book to honor his Uncle Bob, who hiked Mount Monadnock every week for many years and always picked up litter left behind by careless hikers who did not “Carry In, Carry Out.” Woven into the tale are reminders to wear proper clothing, bring plenty of water, and other safe hiking basics. Macdonald lives in Londonderry with his wife, Brenda, who illustrated the book freehand.

Available at www.minifirefighter.us; $24.95

…and don’t forget to monitor the carbon monoxide in your home The Onelink wi-fi environment monitor will identify and alert you to low level CO. When extremely dangerous levels of CO are detected, a loud siren will sound. Onelink also monitors temperature and humidity. Simple to set up so you can begin monitoring your environment immediately via your smartphone or tablet. The LED ring also changes color indicating shift in temperature.

Available at www.amazon.com; $18.95 (hardcover)

Kids will want to go to bed The Roll Mate from Yogibo is the the ultimate solution for those who want the coziness of a body pillow without losing space on the bed. Filled with Fibeads, a special combo of micro beads and polyester fibers, it completely molds to your body. The outer cover is machine washable. Available in dog, fox and panda.

Available at major retailers or www. firstalert.com; $99.95

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Art meets technology The newly released DabitZ series merges artistic spirit with innovative technology, taking classic coloring to new heights with “dabbing.” DabitZ starter sets come with everything you need to try this photomosaic art form. With an innovative app, imagination is the only limit for what you can make. Simply transform your own photos into a template and “dab” it up. Available at major retailers; $49.99

bsi Che c te k o f or u t e ve o u r nt de t ai

ls!

by Barbara A. Meyers

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ollowing in the legacy of teaching stories, these Fables invite caring adults to explore with children the challenges of growing the self in

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family, school, and community. Addressing issues of self-esteem, relationships, bullying, and losses, each Fable is accompanied by a series of suggested talking points to support parents, teachers, and counselors in moving

Birthday Parties Like No Others!

the story from the realm of fantasy to the

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everyday world of the child and reader. These conversations join the natural instincts of childhood with the wisdom adults have gained through experience. Together, children and adults build a bridge to a future in which our ways of being reflect what is fair and just for all who share this planet.

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Youth

engage

DEMOCRACY

This is Part 3 of a four-part series that takes a closer look at how our democracy functions in New Hampshire and beyond. Topics include civics education, teaching tolerance, participating locally in the democratic process and the role of media in keeping government accountable — all with a focus on educating our kids to be better and engaged citizens. If you missed Parts 1 and 2, go to www.parentingnh.com. IN NOVEMBER: The Fourth Estate — The role of media in governments

apan said that eight uninhabited islands were theirs. In 1895, they surveyed the land; no one was there, so they planted a flag and the islands were theirs. End of story.

But then China said those islands had been theirs since ancient times, when they served as important fishing grounds. So back off Japan and hand ’em over. And while we’re at it, the Philippines has a bone to pick about some land to which it feels entitled, thank you very much. The countries wheedle and cajole, and they negotiate, each willing to give up just enough to get a resolution. Yet, at the end of the day, after about six hours of everybody working on this: “China vetoed all the resolutions,” said Cary A. Hughes, dean of students for High Mowing School in Wilton,

10 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

ement Raising children to be civic-minded and knowledgeable about the world around them

• By Melanie Plenda

Several students at High Mowing School in Wilton are participants in Model UN. They typically role play delegates to the United Nations and simulate UN committees.

“and the students were left thinking, ‘oh, it really does work like that.’” These talks were a drill, an exercise developed by Hughes and other educators participating in Model UN – an extracurricular activity in which students typically role play delegates to the United Nations and simulate UN committees. These Model UN resolutions, negotiations and sometimes even the outcomes, mirror the real deal. “We often say to ourselves, ‘why can’t they resolve that?’” Hughes said. “These students [in MUN] get to see the struggles that come up.” Model UN, Hughes said, offers students the opportunity to learn about current events and serious issues going on in the world today. “And in researching those, to learn how different countries view those issues… then have to learn to take a country’s position, even if they don’t per-

sonally agree with it,” he said. “So it forces them to step outside of their own view of the world to see how other people in the world see things. And they have to learn how to resolve an issue cooperatively. This isn’t about debate; this isn’t about beating somebody else at an argument. This is about how to resolve problems cooperatively, which is so important.” Not only is it important, it’s critical. It’s literally the beat of the heart of our democracy. Without an engaged and informed citizenry willing to work cooperatively for the common good, we are sunk. That being said, it’s hard. It’s hard to raise kids to be civically engaged. For one, parents are busy. There’s a lot to cram into a day. Volunteering in the community or learning about local government doesn’t always make the list, not for them, not for their kids.

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 11

How local government works in New Hampshire:

✭ New Hampshire has 10 counties, 13 cities, 221 towns and 25 unincorporated places.

✭ Geographic size has no bearing on whether a community

becomes a city or town. For example, the town of Pittsburg is 288 square miles and the city of Somersworth is 10 square miles.

✭ Population size has no bearing either. For example, the town of

“Every voice does matter. In the country we live in, we have the privilege of being able to have a say in what happens in our government.”

Salem in 2010 had a population of 28,776, while Franklin, with a population of 8,477 in 2010, is a city.

✭ The distinction between cities and towns in New Hampshire is the form of the legislative body.

IN CITIES:

— ABBY MCDONOUGH, 16

✭ In a city, the legislative body and the governing body are the same entity. For cities, there are two forms of government: mayor-aldermen and council-manager.

✭ Mayor — board of aldermen – Legislative/governing body is the board of aldermen. Chief administrative officer is an elected mayor. (Manchester/Nashua)

✭ City Council – manager – Legislative/governing body is city

council. Chief administrative officer is a city manager. (Berlin, Claremont, Concord, Dover, Franklin, Keene, Laconia, Lebanon, Portsmouth, Rochester, Somersworth). The manager is hired to help the governing body in the operation of the city. There is a mayor, but he/she has less authority.

IN TOWNS:

✭ In most towns, the legislative and governing bodies are separate.

✭ Legislative body is the town meeting. It adopts the budget and most ordinances.

✭ Governing body is the board of selectmen. Selectmen

enforce policies adopted by town meeting, supervise administrative affairs and perform other duties authorized by law.

WHAT IS TOWN MEETING?

✭ Typically held the second Tuesday in March (some towns hold their meetings in May).

✭ Traditional town meetings typically consist of two

sessions: First session for electing officials and voting by written ballot on certain matters, such as zoning ordinances. Second session is an open meeting for conducting all other business: adopting budget, enacting ordinances, any other action.

✭ Since 1995, a town may elect to govern itself by

Official Ballot Referenda (also known as SB 2). In SB 2 towns, Town Meeting is a “deliberative” session that decides the wording for each warrant article; the binding decision is taken by secret ballot at the same time the officers for the next year are elected.

SOURCE: New Hampshire Municipal Association

12 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

Furthermore, parents may have their reasons for keeping their kids away from it: their own disillusionment with the system, the ugliness of politics, the feeling their vote, their voice doesn’t count. But getting kids to care and getting them engaged often means a least some buy-in and encouragement from their parents. “Kids typically internalize the social and political views of their parents, particularly from an early age,” said Dean Spiliotes, a civic scholar in the School of Arts and Sciences at Southern New Hampshire University. “They live in the same house; they are privy to the conversations. That transmission is very strong and it’s very important.” “We all have to practice these things. We aren’t born knowing how to do it,” said Martha Madsen, president at New Hampshire Institute for Civics Education. “We expect [kids] to kind of just accept the rules and either put up or shut up, and then they graduate and all of a sudden they are expected to be active and participating citizens? You know we have to kind of teach them to do that gradually, over time. It doesn’t happen all at once.”

Where to start Start talking to kids early and often about the issues that matter to your family and about ways to make connections and effect change in the community. “The easiest way to get our kids engaged is to start simple – take them with you when you vote,” said Sen. Jeanne Shaheen. “Taking your child with you to the polls is an easy way to open up a larger conversation – explaining what voting is, how our democracy works, who you’re voting for, what issues you care about, and so forth. “The significance of participating in our electoral process, especially in New Hampshire with our first-in-the-nation primary, is a good way to broach a conversation with kids about the importance of civic participation.” Another way, said Madsen, is to help little ones get involved in volunteering. “Whether it’s the environment or someone in their family has diabetes or cancer or struggles with mental illness or addiction,” she said, “everybody has an issue that they care about …It’s pretty easy to tap into issues that kids care about. They really do have empathy for other children and for animals.” For example, she said, talk about the natural disasters that occurred in Texas and Florida in September. Together, research what can be done locally to help. Pick one of those things, whether it’s a clothing drive at school or donating money, and do it as a family. Madsen said, the idea is to get kids to understand that they are part of something larger than themselves — a church, a community, a city — and that they, even though they are little, can do things to help like picking up litter on Earth Day, volunteering with their parents at a food pantry, singing with

their class at a senior center, or even writing a letter to a newspaper editor or government official. “Part of it is really starting with what the children are thinking about or what their interests are or from a family point of view or a community point of view,” Madsen said. It’s also a good way to get them to understand basic concepts about how government works, said Sen. Shaheen, who knows firsthand the importance of involving kids in the process. “It’s important that our kids have a stake in their community and understand how different issues affect not only them, but their family, friends and neighbors,” she said. “My children and grandchildren were involved in my campaigns for governor and Senate. By involving them in my campaigns for public office, I was including them in conversations about issues that mattered to our family and those like it across New Hampshire.”

“The easiest way to get our kids engaged is to start simple - take them with you when you vote.” — SENATOR JEANNE SHAHEEN

Next Level As you head toward middle school age, kids are more sophisticated and can handle more complex discussions on issues and politics. But tread lightly. “I think middle school is a time of idealism if we don’t squelch it through our own cynicism,” Madsen said. “They want to make things better. And that’s a time when they can start to think about: ‘What matters to me? What do I see in the world that should be different? How do I work towards that?’ “That’s also when they can read and test the validity of various different sources and start to participate in town meetings and their school district meetings. They don’t even have to stay for a whole thing; even if they stay for just their presentation and listen to the feedback, it’s valuable.” It’s those local meetings of the mind and policy where if anyone doubted that their voice mattered, their fears would be allayed. “It’s a paradox,” Spiliotes said, “because you usually get the lowest turnout in municipal elections.” “I tell my students that if you are concerned about your vote having the biggest impact, vote in your local elections … because you are probably likely to have more say over who’s representing you on your school board than, say, voting for president.”

Madsen echoes that sentiment, saying that when a kid goes to a town meeting or attends a hearing locally or at the state level on an issue, the adults in the room pay attention. “Adults are on their best behavior and they really do want to know what the kids think,” Madsen said. “I’ve heard multiple instances where kids’ input has made a difference at the local level, the state level and the school level.” Understanding how to participate is so important, too, she said. Just the exercise of understanding how to write a letter to an editor or write a letter to a representative on issues that are important to them, or participate in a political campaign by attending a meeting or leafleting, is powerful and beneficial, Madsen said.

Higher ed Once kids are in high school, there are a host of opportunities for them to participate in and learn about government. In addition to joining in peaceful protests, marching or canvassing for an issue or candidate, high-schoolers also have the opportunity to learn more about the issues the world is facing and how government works through programs like Model UN or Boys and Girls State — a program sponsored by the American Legion that allows select students who apply to go through the process of writing a bill and getting it passed. These programs are nonpolitical and, according to the Girls State website, “These lessons inculcate in our citizens a love of America, knowledge of their government and the sense of individual obligation to their community state and nation,” the site said. The Boys and Girls State program follows New Hampshire governmental procedure as closely as possible and teaches students about the two-party system. The students also learn the duties, responsibilities and powers of various offices, hold party caucuses and have primary and general elections. Boys and Girls State citizens elect town, city, county, and state officials and conduct city, town, and county meetings. As senators and representatives, they introduce, debate and vote on bills. “[Boys and Girls State] Subjects young adults to what it actually takes to get things done and the responsibilities associated with it,” said Mike Edgar, who runs the New Hampshire Boys State chapter and is a state representative. “When they know what’s going on, they can help everyone around them. Their own friends, their family, they can let them know in an informed way how things work. That way when they hear people criticizing [their government] the students can give those people an idea of what it actually does take to get things done.” Older students can also apply for the Senate Page Program, which allows students to be active participants in an actual Senate Session. Student Pages assist the Senate Clerk’s Office, and other staff members, with a variety of duties that contribute to the creation of new laws governing the State of New Hampshire, according to the state’s website. The New Hampshire Institute for Civics Education is currently

Did you know? ✭

There are 400 New Hampshire state representatives. The NH House of Representatives is the third-largest parliamentary body in the Englishspeaking world. Only the U.S. Congress and Britain’s Parliament are larger. There are also 24 state ✭ senators. Each House and Senate ✭ member is paid 200 per two-year term.

Who’s my legislator? Find ✭ out at www.gencourt. state.nh.us. Interested in running for ✭ federal, state or county office? For more information, go to www.sos.nh.gov. Check out your town or city’s website if you want to run for alderman, selectman, school board, budget committee, etc., for instructions. You can find out ✭ how to register to vote at www. sos.nh.gov.

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 13

for your child’s middle school years.

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✭ Boys and Girls State (www.legion.org or www.nhalagirlsstate.org)

✭ Model UN (www.unausa.org) ✭ Participate in student government ✭ Participate in school board ✭ Attend town meeting ✭ Create a presentation for local boards ✭ Write to lawmakers ✭ Write letters to the editor of your local newspaper ✭ Attend a rally ✭ Volunteer for a political campaign ✭ Volunteer in the community working with NH Listens, in association with UNH’s Carsey School, to hold a summit next March that brings together officials from around the state to come up with even more ways to get teens involved in decision-making. “We want to really talk about how at the high school level we can include students’ voices in school policy. And what the minimum standards would be for each school in the state to try to come to a consensus. We’re working toward scaffolding things so that by the time they get into high school, they do have an authentic voice in their community at that point,” Madsen said.

Every voice matters Tour the School Interact with Teachers & Administrators Participate in Q & A

Receive Admissions Information Learn More About Our Cradle to Careers Roadmap

There are still some who balk at the idea that any of this, particularly voting, makes a difference. And sure, Spiliotes said, it can be argued that in a presidential election, for example, while a whole bunch of votes can make it a close race, one vote out of 100 million may not make the difference. But one vote at a town meeting, or local election, where there are fewer people voting, can make all the difference. Abby McDonough, 16, of Wilton puts a fine point on that idea. “Every voice does matter,” she said. “In the country we live in, we have the privilege of being able to have a say in what happens in our government. Even if you feel like personally your vote doesn’t make a difference, if everyone thought that, nothing would ever change.” There is more to being involved than just voting, Maggie Daler, 16, of Temple said. Sometimes what you see on the news or in social media or among friends and family is just too important to ignore. Daler participated in the Women’s March on Washington in January. “It’s important to take action if you see injustice or you see something that isn’t right,” she said. “You shouldn’t just be silent and turn away kind of. Even if you do vote, it doesn’t always work out for you. I don’t think it’s an alternative to voting. I think that you should vote, but I think you can also supplement it with some light protesting.” Spiliotes adds that while it’s good for parents to talk about and share their views with their children, and is in fact largely how children gain their political worldview for a time, what also must be taught is civility and balance. “I think it’s fine for parents to be passionate about particular issues and particular viewpoints,” he said. “But if you can, at least introduce the alternative or countervailing argument. Even if you disagree, it’s important to do. “If you can, find a way to say, ‘This is how this is working and this is why it’s important and here’s what the people on the other side say.’ If you can do that without demonizing them, I think that’s a civic good.” Melanie Plenda is a full-time freelance journalist and mother living in Keene.

14 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

FALL â&#x20AC;¢ WINTER 2017 EDITION

SPONSORED BY

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 15

NEW HAMPSHIRE PRESIDENT/PUBLISHER:

Sharron McCarthy, x5117 smccarthy@mcleancommunications.com EDITOR:

Melanie Hitchcock, x5157 editor@parentingnh.com GROUP ADVERTISING SALES DIRECTOR:

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contents 20 Reading, writing and

jump rope

26 Prepare her for her

first period

22 How to talk to your

child about death

31 What you need to

know about scoliosis

24 Does my child have a

speech disorder?

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editor’s note Fall into good health Welcome to the fall/winter 2017 edition of Healthy Families, our 20-page special section dedicated to providing you with information about keeping your family healthy. In this edition we talk about when you should take your daughter to a gynecologist and what to expect at her first appointment. Also, we explain what to do if you think your child is having an issue with their speech. Talking about death with your child is never easy but local experts have some advice for parents. We have also included articles on scoliosis and the connection between brain health and physical activity. Parenting New Hampshire Magazine continues to be the only and best source of information for parents and families throughout the state. More than 20,000 copies are distributed each month to hundreds of locations, including major supermarkets, statewide. We also publish the Family Resource Book, Family Summer Fun Guide, NH Next: Your Guide to Life After High School and Stepping Stones NH: A guidebook for people with disabilities, their families and the professionals who support them. And be sure to check us out at www.parentingnh.com. Look for our spring/summer edition of Healthy Families in April 2018.

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october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 19

Reading, writing and Physical education has developmental benefits for the brain By Rob Levey

here is naturally a lot of emphasis on the importance of academic rigor and opportunity in kindergarten through grade 12 schools and their impact on positive lifelong outcomes, but physical education is equally important.

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR SCHOOL-AGE CHILDREN FROM SHAPE AMERICA Guideline 1 Children should accumulate at least 60 minutes and up to several hours of age-appropriate, moderate and vigorous physical activity on all or most days of the week.

Guideline 2 Children should participate in several sessions of physical activity that last 15 minutes or more each day.

Guideline 3 Children should participate each day in a variety of age-appropriate physical activities designed to achieve optimal health, wellness, and fitness and performance benefits.

Guideline 4 Extended periods of two hours or more of inactivity are discouraged for children, especially during daytime hours.

20 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

Citing a recent report issued by the Society of Health and Physical Educators (SHAPE America), Michelle Grenier, Ph.D., Health & Physical Education Option Coordinator in the Department of Kinesiology at the University of New Hampshire, described three major benefits of physical education across three domains – cognitive, psychomotor, and affective development. “These domains include aspects of health and wellbeing, which are essential elements to a life of physical activity,” she said. Within the cognitive domain, she said youth develop tactical and complex strategies required to play sports. In the psychomotor domain, students develop hand-eye coordination, reflex skills and foundational movement patterns, which Dr. Grenier said are required to navigate one’s personal and general space. Within the affective domain, individuals develop an awareness of their feelings, attitudes, and values, and their relationships with others.

Physical education and physical activity According to Dr. Grenier, it is important for parents to recognize the difference between physical education and physical activities. “Physical education teachers assess student knowledge, motor and social skills, and provide instruction in a supportive environment, whereas physical activities provide opportunities for students to practice what they learn,” she said. “Physical education is not just ‘gym.’” Physical education is based on sequential learning, which includes information and concepts related to health, nutrition, social responsibility and the value of fitness, but, she said, its ultimate goal is positive, lifelong healthy

behaviors and patterns. “Effective physical education teachers today have exemplary programs while promoting physical activity throughout the school culture—be it before- or afterschool programs or in-school movement breaks,” she added. Sally Gregory, adventure coordinator at New Heights in Exeter and Portsmouth, said physical education is reflective of intentional planning and forethought rather than ad hoc activities. “We plan our adventure programs to develop specific skills—team building, communication, critical thinking and others—that are transferable across to real-life situations,” she said. “There are a lot of benefits to physical education or adventure programming that parents might not realize.” For the students themselves, however, such physical

jump rope activities are simply perceived as fun. “We don’t ask the kids to study a book before we get started with our programs, but we have a game plan and a blueprint behind the scenes,” Gregory added.

Physical activity and mental/cognitive health Even if not part of a well-designed physical education program, an increase in physical activity can promote children’s mental and cognitive health. “Being active on a regular basis can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression and has been correlated with improvements in self-esteem, social interaction with peers and goal orientation,” said Dr. Grenier. There is also growing research that suggests a relationship between physical activity and the structure and functioning of the brain. “Time spent in physical activity has been linked to enriched cognitive development and lifelong brain health,” she added. In the school setting, she said this has translated into more active and fit children consistently outperforming others academically in the short and the long term. “There is enough evidence out there right now that make it pretty clear that physical activity plays a critical role in the health and well-being of kids today and

in the future,” she said. “With this data in hand, physical education becomes that much more important in the school.” Gregory agrees and noted that New Heights, which offers Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts and Math (STEAM) programming, would like to expand its Adventure Program. “We have worked with one school during the day with our Adventure Program and want to expand on that,” she said. “We’ve seen kids change before our eyes in the program and keep tabs on many of them long after high school. Many of our former participants cite their adventure experiences here as really important in the direction they took in their lives.”

Takeaway for Parents While physical education is not mandated in New Hampshire schools, some offer substantially more than others, which Dr. Grenier said provides an opportunity for parents to do some homework themselves. “You can ask questions to determine how the school promotes physical activity,” she said. “Physical education is not just a standalone class, either. It can be a curriculum embedded across a variety of subjects—math, English and others. You want to understand what the school is doing to promote lifelong healthy behaviors and thinking patterns.” She said the “more obvious positive outcome” from physical education is better physical health. “Obesity and chronic illness are big problems in New Hampshire and across the country,” she said. “Whether you are talking about physical, mental, or cognitive health, physical education belongs in the discussion.”

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october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 21

How to talk to your child about It’s important to ‘normalize’ death as part of the life cycle

eath is not an easy subject to talk about, but experts say it is critical that parents discuss death with their kids. “We are a culture in denial about aging, death and dying,” said Avantika Waleryszak hospice social worker and founder of Amber Moon Wellness in Portsmouth. “No matter our age, it is a difficult topic to discuss. However, the earlier we can normalize it, the better off we are.” Referring to death as “a normal part of the life cycle,” Leah Farley of Clarity Counseling Associates in Londonderry said children are particularly susceptible to fearing it. “They have less power, experience and knowledge — it is very possible they can become very afraid of it,” she said. Waleryszak said when we normalize death and events associated with it the trauma that often accompanies death becomes more manageable. “We can positively impact the trauma that accompanies death by recognizing that this topic is not an easy thing to confront,” she said. “To feel is to heal, however. Allowing people, including children, to feel their feelings helps to relieve the burden of these emotions.” In openly discussing death, which she referred to as “a normal part of life,” Farley said parents help to build resiliency within their kids. “You don’t avoid it,” she said. “Life is full of impermanence and change — death is part of that.” Waleryszak agrees and said it is also important to not underestimate the natural resiliency of kids. “It is our job to prepare our children for life,” she said. “Children will come to us with questions about all sorts of things. It is natural for parents answer these questions through the filter of their own belief systems. However, we should not underestimate a child’s ability to be resilient in the face of death.”

Discuss it In normalizing death, Farley said it is critical that parents use clear and consistent language. She suggested staying away from words such as “passed” or “heaven.” “Use ‘death’ or ‘died,’” she said. “Parents need to be honest about what actually happens. Don’t be vague or kids may imagine something far worse.”

22 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

While death is theoretically a topic a child could broach with a parent on their own, discussions around it will most likely result from a death. In any kind of scenario, Waleryszak said parents should follow the child’s lead. “Ask how they feel about the loss,” she said. “Approach it from their perspective…ask a lot of open-ended questions.” According to Farley, discussing death with children takes a balanced approach, which would be based on parents’ knowledge of their child and level of understanding. She said parents need to take into account whether their child is more anxious than others so as to not overwhelm them with more information than they need. “You don’t want to press them, but you also don’t want to act like everything is fine,” she said. “You have to be able to handle a discussion about it.” Waleryszak agreed, “I think it is also important that parents consider doing their own self-examination regarding this topic. Parents can ask themselves, ‘What are my beliefs around death and dying? What impactful events – both negative and positive – shaped these beliefs? How do I feel about my own death or the death of a loved one?’”

By Rob Levey

Younger vs. older kids Toddlers between the ages of two and four do not understand the permanency of death, Farley said. This concept is something children begin to grasp at around age five, although there are limitations. “Up until the age of eight, there is still a little bit of magical thinking in children,” she said. “They may feel their thoughts could have caused the death. They might also think they could have saved the person. This can cause feelings of guilt.

Create a safe space Farley said no matter the child’s age, the most important consideration is to ensure they feel a sense of safety and security. “You want your child to feel secure,” she said. “Give them the information they need so they feel like they can understand it.” Waleryszak agrees and said parents should also pay special attention if a child is seemingly “asking around” the subject. “You have permission to start the discussion [around death] if your child is going through a loss,” she said. “Pushing it down or avoiding the topic is not healthy for anyone…Protecting your children from the subject of death is not helping them deal with it.” Farley cited expression through art and other activities as alternative ways for a parent to encourage a child to deal with the realities of death. “Little children especially don’t use words as much,” she said. “Offer them a wide variety of activities to help them express themselves.”

Farley noted some kids, from the age of five through around 12, may internalize the death and experience a sense of guilt, which could result in several different types of behaviors. “Depending on how close they were to the person who died, some children may regress behaviorally with tantrums or bedwetting,” she said. “Other behaviors such as irritability or nightmares are also common.

death When to seek help While some parents believe that bringing their child to therapy after a death is a necessary first step to dealing with grief, Farley said that is not necessarily the case. “Normal signs of grief are perfectly acceptable,” she said. “A child may get separation anxiety and not feel safe – make sure you have a discussion about that, too. You want to normalize the experience.” If a child starts to isolate themselves, acts out through excessive tantrums or behaviors, or engages in self-harm, Farley said parents may want to consult a professional. “There could be a delay in their reaction to the death as they enter new developmental stages,” she said. “It could take quite some time for some kids to process death.” According to Waleryszak, therapy can create a safe space for a child to talk about his/her feelings. “If a child continues to fixate on [death] or demonstrates abnormal psychological reactions to a death, it is time to seek the help of a professional.” she said. Regardless as to whether therapy is sought, Waleryszak said conversations about death present parents with a unique chance to build trust with their child(ren). “It’s an opportunity to have one of the biggest conversations about life,” she said. “In this respect, a parent can potentially influence their children in a powerful and positive way.” Rob Levey is a freelance writer for numerous publications including Parenting NH.

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 23

Parents should pay attention to these dev

Does e v a h d l i h c my h c e e p s a disorder?

bout five percent of children have noticeable speech disorders by the first grade, according to the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (NIDCD). However, a parent can track numerous indicators in their child from birth through 5 years to help determine if an evaluation and/or an intervention is needed. “Children acquire language skills within general ranges of time,” said Lisa Minahan, owner of Premier Speech Therapy in Londonderry (see sidebar). “If a developmental milestone is not reached on time, I do not consider that a delay — it is a disorder.”

Evaluations and interventions If a toddler is not reaching these milestones, Tiffany Strazze, speech language pathologist at Swing for the Stars Pediatric Therapy Center in Concord, said an evaluation can help determine if there are underly-

24 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

ing speech or language difficulties. “We look at variety of areas — articulation skills, how their language is developing, their comprehension, and how well they can put words together to express themselves,” she said. She said they also look for other presenting symptoms, which include stuttering or pacing, resonance and voice issues, feeding difficulties or swallowing, social skills, and how well children interact with their peers. “Articulation and language issues are the biggest ones for us,” she said. “Kids will come in at 3 or 4 and they will be hard to understand. They struggle to express themselves in a way that allows them to get their needs met.” Jodie Heath, owner and executive director of Swing for the Stars Pediatric Therapy Center, said they also provide speech therapy services to children on the autism spectrum. “We help them develop the ability to express their wants and needs as well as improve interactions with their family members and caregivers,” she said. Minahan said parents should trust their instincts when seeking help for their child. She said the first red flag is when a parent simply starts to wonder if there is indeed “something going on.” She said this often happens with a second child or with other kids in their playgroup as parents will often make comparisons to their child’s respective skills. “Get a second opinion until you are satisfied with an answer,” she said. “If you are just going to your school system, for instance, they have different norms than we do in a private practice. Kids in schools must be 33 percent behind in an area in order to be picked up and receive help there.” When interventions are deemed necessary,

Heath said they tend to work with a child/family once each week. She said the majority of the work, however, takes place at home, which sometimes surprises families. “We see them for a small snapshot of their entire lives,” she said. “We send families home with programs that they will do at home — that catches some parents off-guard. This is not a ‘drop them off and fix them’ model. It is a lot of work with the family doing a lot of it at home.” Acknowledging that some interventions take quite some time before improvements may be seen, Strazze said success they have seen in some children is nothing short of remarkable. “Those slower successes are very rewarding and exciting,” said Strazze, who noted a large majority of services are covered by insurance plans. “They come to us nonverbal — and when they are discharged, they can communicate and interact with their peers. Interventions can be very successful.” Minahan agrees and said parents can serve as their child’s strongest advocate. “You know best,” she said. “Schools, sometimes even doctors will say nothing is wrong, or ‘let’s wait, they will grow out of it.’ Parents are usually pretty intuitive, so follow your instincts.” Rob Levey is a freelance writer for numerous publications including Parenting NH.

FOR

MOR Na E IN Comm tional Instit ute on FORMA unica T tion D D isorde eafness a ION nd Ot rs: ww her P w.nid www remier Sp cd.ni eech .prem h.gov T he iersp Swing eech rapy: for the t h e rapy. com www Stars Pedia .swin t gfort ric Therapy hesta Cente rs.co r: m

Keeping Kids Healthy for Over 35 Years!

elopmental milestones

By Rob Levey

Left to Right: Mary B. Shupe, MPH, APRN, CPNP • Rochelle Heit, MD, FAAP Catherine Leighton, APRN, CPNP • Sharon VanTuil, MD, FAAP Helen Poremba, MD, FAAP • Martin Schwartzberg, MD, FAAP

MILESTONES

Photo by: kendaLL j. bush PhotogRaPhy

Experts break down developmental language/speech milestones by age ranges. According to Lisa Minahan, owner of Premier Speech Therapy, some of these milestones include the following:

Birth to 3 months • Startles to loud sounds • Quiets or smiles when spoken to • Seems to recognize your voice and quiets if crying • Increases or decreases sucking behavior in response to sound • Makes pleasure sounds (cooing)

4 to 6 months • Moves eyes in direction to sounds • Responds to changes in tone of your voice • Notices toys that make sounds • Pays attention to music • Babbling sounds more speechlike with many different sounds, including p, b, and m

7 to 12 months • Enjoys games like peek-a-boo and pat-a-cake • Turns and looks in direction of sounds • Listens when spoken to • Recognizes words for common items like “cup”, “shoe”, or “juice” • Begins to respond to requests (i.e., “Come here” or “Want more?”)

12 to 18 months • Recognizes their name • Uses 3 to 20 words • Understands simple instructions • Recognizes words as symbols for objects • Points to a few body parts when asked

18 to 24 months • Uses 10-20 words but says more words every month • Understands “no” • Recognizes pictures of familiar persons and objects • Uses words to make wants known, such as “more,” “up”

• Points to a few body parts when asked

2 to 2½ years • Understands differences in meaning (“go-stop,” “in-on,” “big-little,” “up-down”) • Follows two requests (“Get the book and put it on the table”) • Has a word for almost everything • Uses two- or three-word “sentences” to talk about and ask for things • Answers simple questions and commands

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2½ to 3 years • Has a 450-word vocabulary • Gives first name • Uses past tense and plurals, and combines nouns and verbs • Understands simple time concepts: “last night,” “tomorrow” • Refers to self as “me” rather than by name

3 to 4 years • Hears you when you call from another room • Hears television or radio at the same loudness level as other family members • Understands simple “wh” (who, what, where, why) questions • Talks about activities at school or at friends’ homes • Speaks clearly enough that people outside the family usually understand their speech

4 to 5 years • Pays attention to a short story and answers simple questions about it • Hears and understands most of what is said at home and in school • Makes voice sounds clear like other children’s • Uses sentences that give lots of details (i.e., “I like to read my books”) • Tells stories that stick to the topic

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 25

Prepare her for her period

What’s normal, your teen’s first gynecological visit, and more By Andrea Bushee

roviding information is key to easing the anxiety of girls experiencing puberty and their first period.

Dr. Kristine Henneberry said when girls are informed and prepared before they begin menstruating it is easier for them to deal with the change in their bodies. “Every woman has gone through these changes and they are not alone,” she said. “Every parent has had to help their child through it.” Henneberry, an obstetrician-gynecologist at Bedford Commons OB-GYN, said girls usually get their first period between 12 and 14 years of age and begin to see breast development or other signs of puberty between eight and 13 years. Once a girl begins to see breast development or starts to grow pubic or underarm hair they usually begin to have their periods within one to three years. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends girls have a gynecological visit between the ages of 13 and 15. During this first visit, Henneberry said she likes to take the opportunity to talk about the body changes girls are going through. The appointment does not usually involve an exam unless there is a medical issue. At the first gynecological visit, patients and parents can also expect to go over their medical and family history as well as talk about the HPV vaccine, which protects against cancers caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV) infection. Pap smears are recommended to begin at 21 years of age, so it is not something to be expected during visits for tweens and teens. Some of the issues that might warrant a physical exam, blood work or other tests include prolonged bleeding for more than seven days, very heavy bleeding (soaking through a pad or tampon every one to two hours), passing large clots, cramps or pain that cannot be relieved with over-the-counter pain medications or a heating pad, discharge that has not been seen before, fevers with other symptoms, and any other problems a patient might find unusual. Providers will also want to know if a patient is 15 and has not had a period yet, if a patient has missed two or more months of menstruating, and any time a girl is sexually active and misses a period. While many first visits involve the mother or parent initiating most of the conversation for the child, Henneberry encourages

26 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

tweens and teens to ask any questions they have about their bodies and sex education along with any other issues. “Never be afraid to reach out,” she said. Even if it is a school nurse or counselor, she adds, reaching out for help and asking questions is important. Dorice Reitchel, a nurse midwife who practices obstetrical and women's care for the Manchester Community Health Center, also finds the main reason for a young patient's first visit to be education and guidance. “It really is a talking visit,” she said. "There are a lot of changes in your body to talk about.” Sex, sexually transmitted diseases, drugs, alcohol, and other issues can all be discussed at these appointments, as well as menstruation and body changes, Reitchel said. There is usually time for patients to speak with the doctor alone, while a parent waits outside the room. Teens should know their conversations with providers are private as long as they are not posing a threat to themselves or others. Though she does encourage teens to talk to their parents, there are some times when teens feel they cannot. "If they can't have the conversation with family, they can have the conversation with us" Reitchel said. One of the issues Reitchel will also address is the first year of menstruation and what to expect. It will likely be irregular, she adds. Sometimes a girl may miss a month or have one month with a heavier period than the next. “After a year or so, ideally there should be some regularity to your cycle,” Reichel said. If a girl's cycle does not become regular after a year, her care provider will want to know. Hormones traditionally used for birth control are the standard treatment for irregularity and other problems with menstruation. If heavy bleeding is involved a doctor might also prescribe iron supplements to stave off anemia. Andrea Zuckerman, who practices pediatric and adolescent gynecology at Tufts Medical Center in Boston, said she wants to make sure girls do not have any thyroid issues or bleeding disorders among other possible issues if they are bleeding heavily. Pediatric and adolescent gynecology is a growing specialty, according to Zuckerman. But while a gynecological visit is recommended between ages 13 and 15, girls can also see their regular pediatrician as well to talk about all the issues associated with puberty and menstruation. Andrea Bushee is a freelance writer and mom to three children in Pembroke.

CTE: Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy Sorting out the facts from the media frenzy

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TE stands for Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. Let’s break that down, shall we? “Chronic” means persisting or recurring, “Traumatic” denotes physical injury, and “Encephalopathy” refers to a process that affects the functioning of the brain. So, CTE is a persistent, brain-related process related to physical injury. CTE has been given an overwhelming amount of media attention after some medical research has suggested CTE is the result of concussions or repeated hits to the heads of athletes. However, much of the reporting has contained inaccurate information. Here are the facts regarding what science knows about CTE: FACT 1: CTE is a syndrome of abnormal changes in brain cells. These abnormal cells are called “hyperphosphorylated tau proteins.” The presence of these cells may or may not be accompanied by changes or problems in thinking, behavior, and mood. FACT 2: The brain cell abnormalities found in patients with CTE are not unique to CTE. These abnormalities are often found in individuals with other neurological conditions. FACT 3: CTE occurs in varying stages. The more significant stages appear to differ from other neurological conditions with similar symptoms, such as Alzheimer’s disease. FACT 4: CTE can only be diagnosed in an autopsy. Science has not yet been able to determine how CTE might be identified reliably in a living person. FACT 5: Since the symptoms associated with CTE exist in other conditions, there are no neurological or psychological signs that are unique to CTE. While there may be a relationship between concussions and CTE, this has not been scientifically proven. Research in CTE is in its infancy. Training adults and children to recognize concussions and manage them is important. Drills that limit contact during practice and teaching proper skill development should be required elements of youth sports. From the sideline to the classroom, comprehensive education regarding what to do after a suspected concussion is needed. Neuropsychologists are ideal for providing this education. All sports involving contact come with a risk for head injury. Therefore, focusing on what comes after the injury is how we can help youth athletes the most, including completing a standardized recovery plan, receiving medical clearance before returning to play, and managing a proper return to academics.

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october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 27

Warning:

curve ahead What you need to know about scoliosis By Andrea Bushee

hen Scott Szela was younger, his scoliosis was caught during a routine school screening.

At the time, a school nurse or a gym teacher would look at studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; backs to check if their rib cages were uneven, according to Szela. They were looking for scoliosis, a curvature of the spine that bends to the side. Many schools have stopped screenings because of a high number of false positive results, Szela said. His was not a false positive; Szela was diagnosed with scoliosis. Though he did not need treatment, just observation, his experience along with other factors drove him to pursue a career as a chiropractor with a focus on structural chiropractic and scoliosis. Szela now practices at Chiropractic Works and the Scoliosis Center of New Hampshire in Hudson. Pediatricians and parents usually see the signs of scoliosis first, he said.

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“A parent might notice something like a postural imbalance,” Szela said. “One shoulder might look higher than the other.” In the United States between six million and nine million people are estimated to have scoliosis, according to the American Association of Neurological Surgeons. Most cases begin to show up between the ages of 10 and 15. Pediatricians check for signs of scoliosis visually and sometimes with a scoliometer, a device slid along the spine while a child is bent over. The only “definitive way,” to diagnose scoliosis, however, is with an X-ray, Szela said. Scoliosis progresses with growth spurts in height, Szela said, and it can run in families, usually on the mother’s side. While treatment is needed in some cases, he said many times it is not needed. Intervention may be necessary if a curve is directly jutting into the ribcage, affecting the lungs, or if posture is causing self-esteem issues. Doctors will often choose to watch and wait, looking for a progression in the curve over time, Szela said. Treatment can include bracing, which involves the patient wearing a brace designed to slow the growth of the curve. If a curve is severe enough, surgery to stop the curve from progressing can be performed. “It is a very major surgery,” Szela said. “They open up the entire back.” In his office, he uses a flexible elastic bracing, which allows patients to continue with their normal activities. The flexible bracing is less rigid than some other types of bracing used to treat the curvature. Another alternative treatment patients can use is physical therapy. No matter what the treatment, Szela said, it is best to start as soon as possible. “The more treatment you can do earlier during that growth phase, the better, he said, ”Once you are done growing the bone is done growing and the curve is going to be stable where it is until much later in life.” Keith Loud, a physician at Dartmouth Hitchcock in Lebanon who practices adolescent and sports medicine, said treatment for scoliosis needs to be managed over time. With growth, a curve will change and can get worse, and a general rule of thumb is once a curve gets past 45 to 60 degrees it will require surgery. “Those curves are so severe they can continue into adulthood and get into heart and lungs.” Curves that are less severe may get better on its own over time, Loud said. Treatment is individualized and depends on how much growing a child has left and to what degree the curve is. “The physician needs to put it into perspective the size of the curve and the growth rate,” he said. Two children with the same degree of curve, who are the same age, might be treated very differently because their rate of growth may not be the same. “It’s highly individualized, “ Loud said. Andrea Bushee is a freelance writer and mom to three children in Pembroke.

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Your kids are first with us! Londonderry Pediatrics specializes in pediatric care, from birth through college, providing evidence-based medical care in a compassionate, caring manner. We are self-owned and operated. Our extended hours and devoted staff provide your children the continuity of care they deserve. If you have a newborn or are new to the area or looking for expert pediatric care for your child, we are here for you, your neighborhood doctors!

Now accepting new patients ages newborn–18 years

25 Buttrick Road, Bldg. E., Londonderry, NH 03053 (603) 437-1003 • www.londonderrypediatrics.com

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 29

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Family Time, Interrupted: The Life of a Unitil Employee Prepared Parents

My wife and I work together to negate that anxiety by talking with our children about what is happening and why I may have to leave and work. We emphasize that I’m heading out to help other families stay safe. One snowy day this past winter my daughter filled her test tube from a science kit with water and purple playdough, looked at me, and said, “Dad, I made electricity! Can you bring it to work and give it to people who don’t have electricity?” While she doesn’t quite understand the concept of electricity, she does understand that my job involves helping people during power outages, and it makes her feel better about my heading out.

No matter what Mother Nature dishes out, parents in New England work tirelessly to make sure their children are happy, healthy and safe. When storms strike, parents in the workforce are challenged with balancing their jobs with making sure their children are cared for. Parents plan for these challenges by working from home when the roads prove too treacherous for schools to open and by leaning on spouses, significant others and family members to provide back-up child care when needed. In other words, as parents, we are always preparing for the unexpected.

Preparing for the Worst, Hoping for the Best

Unitil As media relations manager for Unitil, a utility company based in Hampton, NH that has served the New England area for over 30 years, my job is to effectively inform the company’s 104,000 electric and 80,000 gas customers. When a storm strikes and the power goes out, I often work extended hours to communicate safety and restoration information to customers, media and government officials. I too am a parent, and finding a way to balance my job with the needs of my children when major storms hit can be a challenge. I’m not alone. All Unitil employees, many with families of their own, work tirelessly in all kinds of weather to restore power and ensure customer safety. When an impending storm is heading our way, we focus our attention on preparing for any circumstance, including securing additional crews to help us quickly restore power. When storms hit, it can require us working 12-18 hours at a time and staying overnight in hotels away from family to ensure we can report safely for our shift. As a result, we often don’t get the opportunity to hunker down with our families in the safety of our homes during a storm or hurricane, waiting for a

storm to pass. We aren’t there to make the storm less scary, or turn a blackout into a game of flashlight tag. Instead, we leave our families for lengthy periods of time to serve the families of our neighbors and restore service. At these times when you want to be there for your family the most, work takes you away. Life as a Unitil Parent Extended work hours, especially in the field, come with the territory of being a utility employee. For the last seven years, I have spent countless hours away from my wonderful, supportive wife and two young children during some of New England’s biggest storms. They have hit on weekends and holidays, cancelling plans or altering vacations arranged months in advance. Children of Unitil employees inevitably develop an association between bad weather and being separated from a parent for a period of time. When squalls begin to rapidly accumulate or a forecast calls for an impending weather event, we spring into action to take control of emergency situations. Sometimes, our children feel anxious that we are leaving them.

Unitil Service Corporation 6 Liberty Ln W, Hampton, NH 03842 (603) 773-6404 www.unitil.com

Like everything in life, being prepared can make a world of difference when disaster strikes. At Unitil, we strongly encourage everyone to review emergency procedures and to implement a plan of action. Listen to the weather reports as meteorologists gauge the severity of the approaching storm. If the state and local officials are telling community members to stay off the roads, listen to them. If it sounds like a multi-day event, plan for it. We also recommend putting together a “Go” bag, filled with necessities—water, flashlights, nonperishable food items, small toys—that is ready to go in the event of a serious storm. Turn this project into something fun for the family. Encourage everyone to brainstorm what items are needed for the “Go” bag. Knowing that preparations have been made in case of an emergency can help bring a level of calm to what can be a chaotic and scary time. Being a parent is infinitely rewarding, yet full of responsibility. If there’s anything I’ve learned from my time at Unitil, it’s that a little preparation can go a long way in helping you and your family ride out any storms that come your way.

Alec O’Meara is the media relations manager for Unitil, a provider of gas and electricity in New England. Alec is a father of two children and is a devoted husband to his wife, Jessica. He is a media professional who effectively and efficiently communicates to the Unitil community.

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 31

EQUIPPING PARENTS WITH RESOURCES AND SKILLS TO KEEP THEIR CHILD HEALTHY

Dealing with social or peer pressure can be a difficult challenge for kids, and the resulting anxiety can be very real. Parenting New Hampshire reached out to a pair of professionals to learn what to watch for and how to deal with these common challenges and behaviors.

OUR EXPERTS: Rik Cornell, vice president of Community Relations at the Mental Health Center of Greater Manchester. Rik has also been a therapist with the Center for 44 years. Sandra Norton, director, Child Adolescent and Family Clinical Services at Center for Life Management.

What warning signs should I watch for that may indicate my child has anxiety or mental health issues? Rik Cornell: “Typically, anxiety or mental health issues in children develop over time. However, any significant life change or trauma can bring issues to the forefront rather quickly. Individuals concerned about the development of mental health related issues may notice more gradual changes in the child’s mood or behavior. They may pull away from friends or stop doing activities they previously enjoyed, or the child

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may show a decline in academic performance. Additionally, communication can be more difficult. Children usually act out their feelings, and looking for these kinds of changes will help parents more quickly identify problems. When trauma or significant change takes place, the parents may see more depression and children repressing their feelings. Anxiety and depression are the most common illnesses people face with mental illness. “All too often adults wait too long to seek professional help for children because of the stigma of mental illness and the desire to shield their child from it. The reality is, however, that not addressing these issues is much more damaging to the emotional well-being of the child. Early detection and intervention has proven to be the number one factor in helping people recover more quickly.” Sandra Norton: “If you see sudden changes in their mood from being typically happy but now – not just for an hour or for one day but going on for a lengthy period of time – they seem not to be themselves. When you notice they are having an emotion and it’s intense. When it’s beyond what’s normal for your particular child. We all get angry, we all get nervous, we have similar feelings but when they’re intensified to the level where we’ve never seen it expressed this way. If you have a child who is typically compliant, able to follow rules, and you see a sudden shift to increased oppositional behavior, if they have difficulty focusing; if you get reports from school that the child is distracted or not able to get through work; if you notice unexplained weight loss or if a child is engaging in any kind of physical harm, they’re expressing physical symptoms. If you notice a change in sleep patterns or if the child is not able to sleep for many nights or if they’re sleeping excessively.”

When should I consider sending my child to counseling? Rik Cornell: “Before you get to that point, parents should get some professional guidance in what kind of help is available and develop a plan. Then I would strongly recommend discussing this plan with the child. Mind you, I did not say to ask the child to make a decision about going; that is the parents’ job. The more comfortable the parents are with the idea of counseling, the better the child will feel about this decision. Go-

ing to counseling is never easy and surprising a child with the news, or pretending it’s only a trip to the mall, will create a very bad and difficult start to the counseling process.” Sandra Norton: “Typically, when you see the warning signs we discussed, it could be an indicator the child needs some help outside what the parents are able to provide. Especially if there’s any kind of self-harming behaviors; the child expressing he or she doesn’t want to be alive; if the child is harming others or frequently threatening to harm others; when the child is expressing several days or weeks of being unhappy, frightened or upset; if siblings within the home are also expressing fear of the child who might be acting differently. Also if the child’s symptoms are interfering with their daily functioning, if any time all of a sudden the child isn’t able to go to school, isn’t able to follow through with the expectations of extracurricular activities. If they’re struggling in any way and if their daily life is impacted and not functioning as they were. Another time to seek help is if there are disagreements in the home with how to handle the child and it’s putting a great strain on the parents’ partnership. Family therapy or co-parenting therapy can be beneficial. Lastly, if a parent is saying to himself or herself that they don’t know what to do and they’re at a loss for how to manage.”

Should I share my child’s anxiety or mental health issues with his/her school? Rik Cornell: “This is always a difficult decision as some people are very uncomfortable with involving the school in their problems. Given that over eight hours of a child’s day is spent in school, one could argue that including the school makes good sense, i.e., everyone will be working together to the benefit of the child. These issues are not always clear, however. The parent, child, and therapist should all come up with an agreeable working plan. Sometimes just talking with the guidance professional in the school and setting up or providing a safe place for the child to go to or talk is usually all that is needed.” Sandra Norton: “We say yes. Parents are encouraged to use collaborative approach because this is what’s best for the child.”

Promoting Better Mental Healt

Stage of Life y r e v h at E

We Care and Can Help Children, Adolescents and Families • Depression, Anxiety, Attention Deficit, Autism,

Bullying, Substance Misuse, Disruptive Behaviors, Trauma and Other Mental Health Concerns • Pre-school Age through Adolescence • Individual, Family and Group Therapy • Case Management and Supportive Services

What can we do at home to de-stress our children? Rik Cornell: “TALK! Talk to your children as much as possible about their day and how they are feeling. The answer “OK” is not enough. Finding the time to really sit down and connect is not only good role modeling but it also provides a place and time where children can feel comfortable expressing feelings. I know it works because that is what therapy is, and the approach has been working for many, many years. The Mental Health Center is always willing to talk with parents about these decisions. Just dial (603) 668-4111 and connect to scheduling. Parenting a child with any form of mental illness is difficult, and we are here to help.”

Sandra Norton: “Having structure in the home is very important – structure meaning a daily routine. When they get home from school, they have a scheduled homework time, they have a scheduled dinner time and they have a scheduled bed time. Having a predictable routine for the child so the child knows what to expect and what expectations are can be helpful. Also, consider limiting the amount of extracurricular activities. Extracurricular activities are great for kids, but make sure they still have time for getting homework done so that doesn’t become stressful. Kids are playing sports, rushing home and having dinner. Allow some free time for your child. Kids need playtime. As much as structure is helpful, they need that time. Playtime can be structured too.”

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We make the mental well-being of children our priority Child & Adolescent Services 2 Wall Street, Manchester, NH (603) 668-4111 ext.8673 www.mhcgm.org • www.bedfordcounseling.org

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FOR ALL AGES Saturdays, Sept. 30, Oct. 7; Sundays, Oct. 1 and Oct. 8; Monday, Oct. 9 Pumpkin Festival CANDIA – Charmingfare Farm, Route 27. Spend a day at the farm and celebrate the mighty pumpkin. Bring the whole family and join in all the festivities. The kids will love the Pumpkin Festival games, including sack races, pumpkin spoon races and a pumpkin-rolling contest. Test your skills at the Cow Pie Fly or Cow Milking Contest. Be part of a team and see if you can Out Pull The Oxen. Face painting, pumpkin art ($3 additional fee), tractor train rides, horsedrawn hay rides, pony rides. $19, children; 23 months and younger get in free. 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. 483-5623; www. visitthefarm.com Various dates in October Corn Maze and pumpkin fun MEREDITH – Moulton Farm, 18 Quarry Road. Get lost in the maze! Admission to the corn maze is $7 per person ($5 for children 3-6; free under 3). The last admission is one hour before the farm closes to allow explorers to enjoy getting lost and playing the trivia game that is part of the maze. Make sure to visit the pick-your-own-pumpkin patch. For more information and times, go to www.moultonfarm.com/ corn-maze.

Friday, Oct. 6-Sunday, Oct. 8 Great Pumpkin Festival MILFORD – Downtown Milford. The 28th annual Great Pumpkin festival is a fun-filled, family event that features a talent show, beer and wine tasting, scarecrow making, pumpkin painting, a haunted trail, arts and crafts show, pumpkin lighting, giant pumpkin weigh-in, pumpkin catapult, live music, children’s activities, pumpkin carving and more. For complete schedule, go to www.milfordpumpkinfestival.org. 249-0676 Various dates in October Corn mazes at Beech Hill Farm HOPKINTON – The 2017 Corn Mazes are open every day (weather permitting) through Halloween at Beech Hill Farm & Ice Cream Barn from 11 a.m. to dusk. There are different mazes every year. This year the themes are Canada’s 150 Trivial Pursuit and Camo’s K-9 Challenge. The mazes are approximately four acres in size and take about 40 minutes to find all the answers. The cost for adults and children older than 3 is $6 for all three mazes. Each maze includes a brochure with a scavenger hunt. 223-0828; www.beechhillfarm.com

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Continued from page 35 Saturday, Oct. 14 Pumpkin Fest SOMERSWORTH – Somersworth Plaza. This family event celebrates all things pumpkin. Pumpkin carving, pumpkin painting, pumpkin catapult, pumpkin bowling, hay rides, cookie decorating, scarecrow making, family photo shoot, live entertainment, and loads of pumpkin-themed games and more. Children are encouraged to wear their costumes and take part in the parade at the end of the day. Wrist bands are $12 per child, adults free only when assisting a child in activities. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. 817-9751; www. nhfestivals.org

Sunday, Oct. 29 A Family Halloween WOODSTOCK, Vt. – Billings Farm & Museum, Route 12. Pumpkin carving, doughnuts-on-a-string, wagon rides, cranking pumpkin ice cream, plus “not-tooscary” Halloween stories, pumpkin games, and animal programs will be featured. Costume parades around the farm field will be held at noon and 2 p.m. and all children will receive a ribbon. Admission: Adults, $14. Children in costume admitted free when accompanied by an adult. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. 1-802457-2355; www.billingsfarm.org Dates through October Coppal House Farm and Corn Maze LEE – 118 North River Road. Marvel at this agricultural feat of engineering as you make your way through living walls of corn more than 10 feet high. The corn maze will delight and challenge all ages. The maze is professionally designed and cut by a company in Missouri. This year’s theme is the raccoon and there are three mazes to explore. Check website for events held throughout the month. Public flashlight mazes in 2017 are Saturday, Oct. 7 and 28. Night mazes are 7-9 p.m., $10 each all ages 5 and older. Bring your own flashlight. Includes bonfire and complimentary cider and donuts while supplies last. Daytime corn maze admission prices are 13-plus, $9; ages 5 and older, $7; free for children younger than 5. Go to www.nhcornmaze.com for more times and dates. 659-3572 Friday, Oct. 14 and Saturday, Oct. 15 Pumpkin Festival 2017 LACONIA – Downtown Laconia. Fun and activities for the entire family. Highlights include Pumpkin Festival beer garden, zombie walk, costume parade, amusement rides, games, live music, pumpkin carving and zip line. Friday, 4 to 8 p.m.; Saturday, noon to 8 p.m. For complete schedule, go to www.nhpumpkinfestival.com. Friday, Oct. 27 and Saturday, Oct. 28 Ghosts on the Banke PORTSMOUTH – Strawbery Banke, 14 Hancock St. Come and meet the Ghosts on the Banke at Strawbery Banke’s famous family-friendly Halloween celebration. Long-dead sea captains, 17th-century shopkeepers and

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wayward pirates haunt the streets and houses of Portsmouth’s oldest neighborhood as you trick-ortreat safely from house to historic house. $8; children 1 and younger free. 5:30 to 8 p.m. www.strawberybanke.org; 433-1107 Saturday, Oct. 14 and Sunday, Oct. 15 Giant Pumpkin Weigh-off and Regatta GOFFSTOWN – Goffstown Village, Main Street. NH Giant Pumpkin Growers Association and the Goffstown Main Street Program join forces in hosting the annual Giant Pumpkin Weigh-off and Regatta. Don't miss this chance to see gargantuan gourds competing for prize money then get turned into boats and raced down the Piscataquog. For more information, go to www.goffstownmainstreet.org.

FOR YOUNGER KIDS Friday-Sunday, Oct. 20-22 and Oct. 27-29 Pumpkin Patch Express NORTH CONWAY – Conway Scenic Railroad, 38 Norcross Circle. All departures are from the North Conway Station for a leisurely roundtrip train ride aboard vintage coaches to the White Mountain Cider Company in Glen, where each child can visit the “Pumpkin Patch” and select their own pumpkin. Costumes are encouraged. Reservations also strongly encouraged. For more information on fares and departure times, call or go to the website. 356-5251; www.conwayscenic.com Saturday, Oct. 28 Not-So-Scary Spooktacular DOVER – Children’s Museum of New Hampshire, 6 Washington St. Come in costume and enjoy a not-so-spooky celebration that's focused on treats rather than tricks. $10, adults and children; $9, seniors; free for children younger than 1 and museum members. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 742-2002; www. childrens-museum.org Saturday-Sunday, Oct. 14-15, Oct. 21-22, Oct. 28-29 Children’s Trick or Treat CANDIA – Charmingfare Farm, Route 27. Charmingfare Farm's Children's Trick or Treat is perfect for little ghouls and boils who don’t wish to be frightened, but still want the excitement of wearing their favorite costume and having a fun-filled Halloween adventure. This event is merry-not-scary! Six special attractions featuring candy stops for trick or treating. $19; children 1 and younger, free. Check-in times are 10 a.m. through 1:30 p.m. Go online to reserve your time. 483-5623; www.visitthefarm.com

FOR OLDER KIDS Fridays, Oct. 13, 20, 27; Saturdays, Oct. 14, 21, 28 Harvest of Haunts CANDIA – Charmingfare Farm, Route 27. The fields are full of unthinkable sites, decaying crops and creatures that will make your blood run cold. They’re waiting for all those who dare experience the four terrors of the Harvesting. You’ll encounter four heartpounding scares. Tickets: $25. Go online for check-in times. 483-5623; visitthefarm.com Friday-Sunday, Oct. 13-15; 20-22, Thursday- Sunday, Oct. 26-29 Haunted Overload LEE – DeMeritt Hill Farm, 66 Lee Road. Consistently ranked one of the top haunted attractions in the country. Haunted Overload blends astounding handmade sets, gigantic monsters and spellbinding characters with spectacular sound and lighting to create a twisted, terrifying Halloween experience like no other. This haunted attraction is a pre-ticketed event, so buy your tickets early. Tickets: $25; available at hauntedoverload.com. For more information on times and attractions, go to www.hauntedoverload. com

Various dates through October Haunted Acres CANDIA – 224 Raymond Road. Five attractions, including ¼-mile nightmare walk. Maniac’s Midway area with bands, food and 1,000-foot zip line (with ticket upgrade). Open rain or shine. Free parking. Tickets: $29 (online). For more information on open and close times, go to www.hauntedacresnh.com. Various dates in October Ghoullog at the Cranmore NORTH CONWAY – Cranmore Mountain, 1 Skimobile Road. Enter 10 years of fear at the Ghoullog! The approximate 50-minute haunt features more than 15,000 square feet of indoor space through a series of dark rooms, scary mazes and unknown places, plus an outdoor element which leads the unsuspecting through the dark woods with all of the scares and screams you’ve come to expect. Will you be able to make it out unharmed? Don’t miss the Broken Skull Pub and Haunted Playground. Go online for ticket prices and hours. 1-800-SUN-N-SKI; www.theghoullog.com

Sept. 23-24, 29-30; various dates in October Screeemfest SALEM – Canobie Lake Park. Enjoy your favorite rides and venture into the haunted houses. Entertainment and Saturday night fireworks. Discount coupons available. Live entertainment. Free parking. Prices and times vary. For more information, go to www.canobie.com. Sept. 22-24, 29-30; various dates in October; Nov. 3-4 Nightmare New England LITCHFIELD – Mel’s Funway, Route 3A. Nightmare New England is a massive 80-acre Halloween Scream Park. The scale and variety of the park offers something for even the boldest of Halloween fanatics. Five terrifying haunted attractions and multiple sideshow attractions are featured. Carnival concessions, live entertainment, zombie paintball, tarot card readings, fire pits, go-karts, batting cages, and more. Selected as one of America’s Top Haunts. Prices and times vary. Go to www.nightmarenewengland.com for details.

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cook•with•your• kids PUMPKIN — FOR DINNER AND DESSERT

By Susan Nye

t’s time to head off to the farm stand to pick up sugar pumpkins or butternut squash.

High in beta-carotene and vitamin A, pumpkins are good for your eyes and skin. They are also loaded with antioxidants and vitamin C to boost your immune system. With cold and flu season fast approaching, every little bit helps. Add a dollop of puréed pumpkin or squash to just about anything to pump up

PUMPKIN QUINOA BOWLS WITH BLACK BEANS AND CHORIZO

Bowls, the latest version of a one-dish wonder, combines grains with vegetables, sauces and more. Serves 4-6

• 1 c. quinoa • Olive oil • 1-1½ lbs. chorizo, cut into bite-sized pieces* • ½-1 onion, chopped • 1 tsp. ground cumin • 1 tsp. dried Italian herbs • ½ tsp. ground chipotle pepper • Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste • 2 cloves garlic, minced • 15 oz. black beans, drained and rinsed • 1 c. pumpkin purée, homemade or canned • About 2 c. chicken broth or water • Garnish – optional: sour cream, grated cheddar cheese, toasted pumpkin seeds

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the goodness. Stir it into quinoa, whirl it into hummus or use it in pasta sauce. Whether you whip up a batch of homemade purée or buy canned pumpkin, you and your kids will enjoy a healthy and delicious fall. Susan Nye writes for magazines throughout New England. She shares many of her favorite recipes and stories about food, family and friendship on her award-winning blog, Around the Table, at www.susannye.wordpress.com.

Put quinoa in a fine mesh sieve; rinse well under cold water. Lightly coat heavy saucepan with olive oil and heat over medium. Add chorizo and cook until lightly browned. Use slotted spoon to remove from the pan and reserve. Add onion to the saucepan, sprinkle with spices and herbs, season with salt and pepper and sauté until onion is translucent. Add garlic and sauté 2-3 minutes more. Stir quinoa and black beans into the vegetables; add pumpkin and 2 cups chicken broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook, adding more chicken

broth if necessary, until quinoa is tender, about 20 minutes. Add chorizo to the pan, cover and cook for a few more minutes to reheat sausage. Spoon quinoa, beans and sausage into bowls, and, if desired, top with sour cream, grated cheddar and/or pumpkin seeds. * You can skip the sausage, substitute chicken broth with vegetable broth and add a few more beans for a delicious Meatless Monday dinner.

PUMPKIN CHOCOLATE CHIP SQUARES

These are loaded with antioxidants and almost good for you. Makes 24 squares

• • • • • •

2 c. all-purpose flour 1 tsp. cinnamon 1 tsp. ginger ¼ tsp. nutmeg ¼ tsp. ground allspice ¼ tsp. ground cloves

• 1 tsp. baking soda • ½ tsp. salt • 1 c. (2 sticks) butter, at room temperature • ¾ c. sugar • ½ c. brown sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour a 9x13-inch baking pan. Put flour, spices, baking soda and salt in a bowl, whisk to combine. Set aside. With electric mixer, beat butter and sugars on medium-high speed until smooth. Add pumpkin purée, egg and vanilla. Beat until well combined. Reduce mixer speed to low, slowly add dry ingredients and beat until just combined. Fold in chocolate chips. Spread batter evenly in prepared pan. Bake for 35-40 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely in pan. Cut into 24 squares. * For more antioxidants, substitute dark chocolate chips for semisweet.

• • • •

1 c. pumpkin purée 1 large egg 2 tsp. pure vanilla extract 12 oz. chocolate chips*

HOMEMADE PUMPKIN OR SQUASH PURÉE Makes about 3 cups

2 lbs. or more sugar pumpkin(s) or butternut squash Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut pumpkins or squashes in half and scrape out seeds. Cut pieces in large chunks and place them skin-side down on baking sheet. Roast at 350 degrees until tender, about 45 minutes. Cool slightly. When cool enough to handle, scoop out flesh and put it in the bowl of a food processor. Process until smooth. Put purée in a sieve lined with coffee filters or cheesecloth and drain for several hours or overnight. Straining the purée is an absolute must if you plan to use it for pies, cakes and other baked goods. If you are throwing it into a savory sauce, chili, quinoa or risotto, you can skip this step. However, you may need to reduce some of the other liquids in the recipe.

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 39

dad on board Not backing down I DID WHAT I COULD TO CHANGE MY DAUGHTER’S MIND, BUT SHE DIDN’T, AND I COULDN’T BE MORE PROUD BY BILL BURKE

I Hits for the whole family!

have no idea where my daughter gets her taste from, but it’s not from her mother or me. An ice cream shop near us was having a fundraiser for a family whose home was damaged in a fire recently. I thought I’d swing by with my daughter to show some support and because ice cream is awesome. Because the proceeds were going to a good cause, I told her she could get anything she wanted: no matter how many scoops, whatever crazy toppings, however massive a container it may come in – anything was fair game. I made this point clear to her. So when it was time to step up, place our order and go a little crazy, what did she challenge our server with? “I’ll have a small chocolate soft serve in a regular cone.” Bre’s Ice Creamery in East Hampstead is known for its amazing treats and its skilled dessert masters who craft mind-boggling creations that would leave both Ben and Jerry curled up under adjoining desks in fits of crippling self-doubt. And yet for some reason my kid opted for soft serve – a chilled food product masquerading as an underachieving Fudgesicle auditioning to play the understudy just in case ice cream calls in sick. “You’re kidding me,” I said to her, shocked by her underwhelming order. She looked a little surprised by my forceful objection, but we are not a family who takes our ice cream choices lightly. I look upon soft serve as the Velveeta of the ice cream world – cheap and bland and melty. This is not an indictment on this particular shop’s soft serve, of course. Nay, I instead passed judgment solely on my daughter’s decision-making skills. Her lack of refinement left me speechless, and thus I reacted with a father’s most potent parenting tool: dad jokes. “Can you bring her a glass of skim milk and very gently whisper ‘chocolate’ into it?” “We’ll have that napkin you used to wipe out the inside of that milkshake glass. On a plate.” “How much is it for you to stare at us intently while thinking of cookie dough?” “Can you grab a fist full of jimmies and then punch me in the face?” “Do you have anything that tastes like envelope?” She got my point, but refused to back down from her ill-advised decision. A small chocolate soft serve it was, then. And as much as I reject soft serve philosophically, I’m happy she remained confident in her choice (or gargantuan error depending on your perspective) and stood her ground. She has a strong sense of self and she knows what she wants and what she likes. Not bad for a young teenager – even if it did mean passing up a wheelbarrow of salted caramel chocolate pretzel. Bill Burke is a writer who lives in southern New Hampshire with his wife and daughter who apparently hates good ice cream. He is also Managing Editor of Custom Publications for McLean Communications.

Z107FM.COM/LISTEN 40 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

The home of the Pierog Family of Sandown was heavily damaged by fire in August. If you’d like to help the family, donations can be sent to TD Bank, P.O. Box 398, Hampstead, NH, 03841, Attn: The Pierog Family Fund.

learning curve We are all in this together PARENTS, TEACHERS SHARE THE SAME HOPES AND FEARS 11/O6/17

BY ELIZABETH FEINGOLD

ctober brings shorter days and Halloween activities. It’s also when schools typically throw open their doors for parent-teacher conferences. The conference is a chance for you to see your student’s classroom, to have oneto-one time with their teacher (or teachers, depending on the grade level), and to hear how the school year is going so far. As a parent, I remember these meetings as being stressful. It was a double whammy for me because I also went through these conferences every year as a teacher, and felt nervous in that role. While I thought I knew how well my children were doing in their classes, I also thought that I might learn something that was worrisome, whether it was about my children’s academics or about how they were doing socially or emotionally. These conferences gave me the jitters, and I was relieved when they were over. Now that I am working as a student teacher supervisor for a university, I have the opportunity to meet with young student teachers as they prepare for their first parent-teacher conferences. I am also observing their mentor teachers as they guide these young teachers through this first experience with parents. No matter the years of experience for the mentor teachers – whether they are also fairly new or are veterans of several decades – they are just as nervous as the student teachers, and as most of us are as parents facing the same meetings. I am reminded of the similarities between parents and the teachers who are responsible for our children for 10 months out of the year – and I am struck that we forget to walk in each other’s shoes when we get ready to face each other. As parents, we hope to hear good things about our children. We want to know they are progressing, and are being good citizens, that they are making friends and staying out of trouble. As teachers, we want to know that the parents feel we are taking good care of their children, helping them to progress, to be good citizens, to make friends, and to help them navigate tough issues. As parents, we want to enter inviting classrooms that reflect a safe, educational, creative and fun environment. As teachers, we hope our students’ parents see we’ve created classrooms that are safe, educational, creative and fun. We are so busy feeling nervous and uncomfortable we can lose sight of the fact that we want the same things for the students. I am happy and honored to work with educators who are just starting out. And I am grateful they remind me that these jitters serve a purpose and symbolize all that’s important about teaching and learning. We are all in this together – parents and teachers – and while we all may be nervous at parent-teacher conferences, it’s because we have a common goal. We want what’s best for our students. As you head out for this year’s conferences, try to shake off those jitters as you meet the person who is joining forces with you to help your student have a terrific school year.

11/O6/17

ADVENTURE

Where a kid can be a kid. Commercial free.

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Elizabeth Feingold retired from Kearsarge Regional School District, where she worked for over 30 years as a special education teacher and coordinator at the elementary, middle and high school levels. She is a consultant and advocate. Reach her through www.seacservices.com or email seacsvcs@gmail.com.

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 41

house calls

ADVENTURE

Teen in training TEACH YOUR CHILD HOW TO TRANSITION FROM PEDIATRIC TO ADULT PROVIDER BY LISA PLOTNIK, MD

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ife is full of transitions – between grades, between jobs, between houses – but rarely do we think about healthcare transitions. Healthcare transitions can include the transition from a pediatric healthcare provider to adult provider or leaving the hospital and going to a rehabilitation facility or home. This article is the first in a series discussing healthcare transitions from pediatric to adult healthcare. Parents teach their children about responsibility, such as learning to manage money, and life skills like cooking, doing laundry, driving etc. But, teaching their teen about managing healthcare is too often overlooked. How do we demonstrate the necessary steps for youth to acquire this new responsibility? What steps need to be completed to have the physical or sick visit? Here are the main steps to consider: Step 1: Make sure your youth knows the healthcare provider’s name and phone number to be able to make an appointment. The phone trees at many offices can be confusing so knowing the healthcare provider’s name can help ensure getting routed to the right staff. Step 2: Make sure your youth carries their insurance card and know what it is for. When they are asked at check-in to provide their insurance card, this will help speed up the intake process and make your youth feel confident in being able to provide information at check-in. Step 3: Talk about knowing why your youth is there for the office visit. If they didn’t arrange the visit, do they know why they are expected to show up? Talking through your youth’s symptoms prior to the visit can also help them feel more comfortable providing information about their symptoms. Step 4: Discuss and possibly write down any chronic conditions and health history. Can they talk with the provider about how their conditions affect them? Do they need any adaptive devices/equipment or do they need any supports in school or in the home to complete daily self-care? Step 5: Talk about the medications that your youth is taking and why. It is also important to know if there are any medication allergies and what might happen if they are exposed to that medication. Also they should know how to obtain refills at the pharmacy. Prior to changing to an adult healthcare provider, at around age 12 to 14, is a good time to work on these skills. It is easy enough to have your teen carry their insurance card in a wallet. Or at minimum they can carry a copy of the card if you are concerned about it being lost. Have your teen lead the check-in process at the next visit. You can certainly be there as back-up, but letting them lead is good practice. The healthcare provider will typically start wanting to have some one-on-one time with your teen and this is an opportunity for your teen to work on communication confidence. Make sure part of the visit is dedicated to discussing medication. Ensuring that your teen understands their medication is important to feeling better and continued good health. Lisa Plotnik, MD is a practitioner in the Internal Medicine-Pediatrics Department at Children's Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Manchester. For more information, go to www.chadkids.org.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This article is the first of a three-part series about healthcare transitions. Dr. Plotnik will also discuss the mental health aspect of transition and mental health issues of adolescents and transitioning with special health care needs.

raising teens and tweens Send a clear message to your teens EXPERIMENTING WITH MARIJUANA AND ALCOHOL IS NOT ACCEPTABLE

BY TRACEY TUCKER

arents often tell me that they are not concerned with their kids “experimentation” with marijuana and alcohol. “We all did it when we were young, right?” they often say. Many parents are from the generation where experimentation was more commonplace and more accepted. But we have seen dramatic changes in our culture over the last 10 to 20 years — from lightning-speed technology to an increase in communication through technology and a general change in parenting. We often now refer to a “helicopter parenting model.” We see parents who are involved in all facets of their children’s lives, including everything from prearranged play dates and systematized scheduling of extracurricular activities to the 24/7 push to do well academically and socially. So it is ironic that these parents are often the same ones saying they are not concerned with their children experimenting with marijuana and alcohol. Parents fail to recognize that marijuana and alcohol can easily move into experimenting with mushrooms or ecstasy, or even prescription pain medication, which can increase the odds of heroin use. I realize that I have a conservative view of alcohol and drug usage, but there is a crisis in our youth community with rising rates of marijuana and alcohol use. In my private practice, I have seen a dramatic increase in marijuana use among high-schoolers. They justify their use because it is safer than alcohol, does not cause as many biological issues and is not addicting. But these same kids, often times boys, tell me that they smoke weed before school, during lunch breaks and after school, or even right before bed. Professionally or personally, I cannot be convinced that this behavior is healthy, and I cannot believe these kids are not dependent on the drug. Marijuana has a higher level of THC than 10 or 20 years ago and it is not unheard of for marijuana to be laced with other drugs such as heroin. As I tell parents, drug dealers are looking for long-term users, as their business model relies on this. Getting kids hooked on drugs early on makes it more probable they will have customers in the future. As a community, and as parents, we need to talk through these issues. We need to support each other as parents, and we need to begin a dialog about what we should be saying to our kids. I encourage parents to begin talking to their children as early as elementary school about drugs and what they believe is appropriate. As a parent I recognize I cannot control every decision my children make, but I express my genuine concern to my kids about using marijuana and alcohol. I talk about what is happening in our community and I tell them that I do not believe experimentation is the right decision. I explain that the brain is different for teenagers, given that the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed. Substance usage can have a profound effect on the growth of this part of the brain, which is the part that gives us the ability to make rational decisions. In addition, I tell kids and parents about the research that suggests that kids that use substances at an early age have a higher rate of long-term dependence as adults. Tracey Tucker is Executive Director of New Heights: Adventures for Teens and a licensed mental health counselor at Tradeport Counseling Associates in Portsmouth. Tracey Tucker is off this month. This column is reprinted from the January 2016 issue of Parenting NH.

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• Benefits to chiropractic services • Home options for growing families • Mental health awareness • Adult education • Eyes and ears health • Family insurance • Charitable giving • Business profiles • Family law • Money matters • Energy efficiency eq

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To adverTise: 603.413.5154 october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 43

out about

october

Courtesy photo/Bruce Denis Photography

CHaD HERO

Courtesy photo/ Maple Leaf Photos, Dan Grossman

22 SUNDAY

141ST DEERFIELD FAIR 28 THURSDAY – SUNDAY, OCT. 1

DEERFIELD – Deerfield Fairgrounds, Route 43. The Deerfield Fair has tons of entertainment including amusement rides, horse and oxen pulling, horse shows, a pig scramble for kids and the annual Miss Deerfield Fair Pageant. Admission: $10; 12 and younger get in free. For full schedule and entertainment lineup, go to www. deerfieldfair. com.

HOLLIS APPLE FESTIVAL AND BAND CONCERT 1 SUNDAY

HOLLIS – Hollis Town Common. Celebrate the local harvest with homemade apple crisp, apple pies and Doc Davis ice cream. Stroll the grounds or sit at a table to enjoy the music. Family fun activities including face painting, games for kids, and artists showing their wares. Rain location is Hollis Middle School. Free admission. 2 p.m.

44 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

HANOVER – Dartmouth College Green. The CHaD HERO is the premier athletic-fundraising event benefiting kids and families receiving care at the Children's Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock (CHaD). The event features a scenic half-marathon, certified by USA Track & Field, as well as a 5K run and walk, five or seven-mile hike, and a one-mile fun run. New for 2017! Four family-friendly games onthe-go placed along the 5K run and walk course. This new event element will help supercharge kids through the course faster than The Flash. All events end at the Dartmouth Green for a festival of food, music, and entertainment. Registration opens at 9 a.m. For more information, or to sign up your HERO team, go to www.chadhero.org.

FULL MOON WALK 5 THURSDAY

AUBURN – Massabesic Audubon Center, 26 Audubon Way. Join Jake King with Thrive Outdoors on a full moon hike through the fields and forests of Battery Point. There will be a campfire, hot cocoa, marshmallows and a telescope to view the moon before the hike. Registration required. Cost: $10 members/$15 non

members; $20 members/$25 non-member families. 8 to 10 p.m. 668-2045; www. nhaudubon.org

NH FALL FESTIVAL 7 SATURDAY

PORTSMOUTH – Strawbery Banke, 14 Hancock St. Strawbery Banke’s NH Fall Festival, on Columbus Day weekend, creates a traditional New England country fair complete with demonstrations from craftspeople, heritage breed and farm animal exhibits, farm animal and livestock demonstrations, presentations on heirloom

seeds and food preservation tips, fiber arts, demonstrations and exhibits on historic crafts, coopering, candle-making workshop in the Horticultural Center, garden tours and demonstrations. Each year the NH Fall Festival welcomes dozens of traditional craftspeople and heritage livestock breeders. Admission: Adults, $19.50; children, 5-17 $9; under 5, free; family (2 adults/2 children), $48 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. 433-1100; www.strawberybanke.org

and much more. You will also have a chance to perform science experiments with eggs. And of course, visit with our new chickens, which will be laying by the fall. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Admission: Adults, $7; children, $4. www.farmmuseum.org

APPLE HARVEST DAY 7 SATURDAY

DOVER – Downtown Dover. Apple Harvest Day is an annual, daylong family event, featuring more than 400 crafters, delicious food, live entertainment, music and more. The event was first held in 1985 and now draws more than 50,000 people to the City of Dover's downtown, making it one of the most popular regional festivals. The Apple Harvest Day 5Kroad race starts at 8:30 on River Street. Free admission. 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. www.dovernh.org/appleharvest-day

WORLD EGGS DAY EGGSTRAVAGANZA 14 SATURDAY

MILTON – New Hampshire Farm Museum, 1305 White Mountain Highway. The second Saturday of October has been World Egg Day since 1996. Join us for a two-story egg drop competition, an old-fashioned egg toss, a hands-on egg decorating session, spoon-and-egg races,

MENOPAUSE THE MUSICAL 22 SUNDAY

CONCORD – Capitol Center for the Arts, 44 South Main St. Menopause The Musical is a celebration of women who are on the brink of, in the middle of, or have survived “The Change.” Now celebrating 16 years of female empowerment through hilarious musical comedy, Menopause The Musical has evolved as a “grassroots” movement of women who deal with life after 40 by embracing each other and the road ahead. Presented by GFour Productions. Tickets: $44-$59. Show times: 2 and 5:30 p.m. 225-1111; www.ccanh.com

29 SUNDAY

SEACOAST MOM & BABY EXPO 14 SATURDAY

ELIOT, Maine – Regatta Banquet and Conference Center, Route 236. This event is for women who are pregnant, planning to get pregnant and new moms and dads. Attendees are invited to meet more than 60 local companies who are devoted to new mom and baby wellness. Vendors and exhibitors include photographers, chiropractors, local toy and baby furniture stores, health care providers, midwives, doulas, lactation counselors and so many more. Lots to do, free samples, tons of giveaways and raffle prizes. Parenting New Hampshire is a proud media sponsor of this event. Admission: $5 for adults; kids and babies get in free. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. www. seacoastmomandbabyexpo.com

EXETER HOSPITAL'S UNITED IN WELLNESS CANCER WALK AND TRICK OR TREAT TROT 5K

UPPER POND ADVENTURE 28 SATURDAY

HOLDERNESS – Squam Lakes Natural Science Center, 23 Science Center Road. On the surface, the Upper Pond looks tranquil. But underwater is another story. Participants will learn about critters camouflaged and hiding, predators and prey, large and small. All equipment is provided to collect pond dwellers but sharp eyes are needed to find them. The program includes a visit from an aquatic animal. For all ages. Cost: $7/ member; $9/non-member. 10 to 11:30 a.m. 968-7194; www.nhnature.org

EXETER – Exeter Hospital Campus, 4 Alumni Drive. Celebrate Halloween with a morning of fun and fitness as the community comes together for this fun family-friendly Halloweenthemed 5K Walk/Run to support critical cancer treatment programs and services at Exeter Hospital's Center for Cancer Care. This 5K course is geared toward participants of all skill levels. Individual and team fundraising is encouraged. Prizes to 5K overall and division winners, top individual and team fundraisers and best costume. Enjoy post-race snacks, face painting, gift bags for kids and more. Children ages 10 and younger may also participate in the Creepy Crawler Fun Run, a short-distance, non-competitive run. Embrace the spirit of the holiday and dress in your favorite Halloween costume. Go to the website for more information and registration fees. 9 a.m. to noon. 580-6668; www.unitedinwellness.org/ trickortreattrot

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 45

Parenting New Hampshire will honor the Granite Stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most dedicated and talented teachers in its December issue. Nominate a special educator to be recognized in PNHâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first-ever Top Teachers issue.

Nomination period is Oct. 1 to 31. Find the online nomination form at

www.parentingnh.com. NEW HAMPSHIRE

46 www.parentingnh.com october 2017

five•for families

COMPILED BY JACQUELINE TOURVILLE Pick your own fall festival: Applecrest Orchards in Hampton Falls has busy families covered with its annual Fall Festival that runs every weekend through the end of October. Stop by on the Saturday or Sunday of your choice for all the autumn festival fun you can handle, including apple picking, horse-drawn wagon rides, face painting, petting zoo, pie eating contest and more. You can even make your own scarecrow. Parking and admission are free. www.applecrest.com

Pumpkin Patch Express: Combine leaf peeping, Halloween costumes and pumpkin picking all in one with a ride on the Conway Scenic Railroad’s Pumpkin Patch Express. Families will travel by vintage train through the autumn-hued countryside to a special pumpkin patch where each child gets to pick their own pumpkin. Halloween costumes are encouraged. Rides are Friday, Oct. 20 to Sunday, Oct. 22 and Friday, Oct. 27 to Sunday, Oct.29, departing from North Conway station. www.conwayscenic.com,

Ghost Encounters: Canterbury Shaker Village welcomes families to experience the other-worldly feel of the 200-year-old historic site on an October evening. At this justspooky-enough event, take a ghost tour through the Village and hear true spinetingling stories – several in the actual spaces where these events took place. All ages can trick-or-treat at the different houses within the Village then take part in Halloween-themed games and activities, including a costume pageant. Ghost Encounters is Sunday, Oct. 29, from 3 to 8 p.m. www.shakers.org

Whether you are looking for a harvest festival, Halloween activity, or something completely different, there’s plenty to do this month in New Hampshire. Here are five top picks for family fun.

Milford Pumpkin Festival: For all things pumpkin, look no further than Milford’s annual Pumpkin Festival, held Columbus Day weekend – Friday, Oct. 6 to Sunday, Oct. 8 – on the Milford Oval and surrounding area. The sprawling event offers live music and entertainment, the Giant Pumpkin Weigh-In contest, bounce houses, carnival rides, pumpkin painting, pumpkin catapult, crafters, scarecrowmaking tent, food, face painting, a waffle breakfast, a spooky haunted trail and fireworks. Admission is free. www.milfordpumpkinfestival.org

Ocean Discovery Day: On Saturday, Oct. 14, the University of New Hampshire welcomes families to its marine research laboratories for a day of kid-friendly, handson demonstrations, tours and talks. Check out the hand-powered wave tank, watch animations of whale movements and operate mini remotely operated vehicles. Demos and talks on topics such as ocean renewable energy, aquaculture, seafloor mapping and underwater exploration are offered. Other activities include marine life touch tanks, lobster banding and fish printing. Admission is free. www.marine.unh.edu

Jacqueline Tourville is a freelance writer and PNH’s travel and tourism expert..

october 2017 www.parentingnh.com 47

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