Parenting NH October 2019

TEEN PARTY DO’S AND DON’TS • GET HELP PAYING FOR COLLEGE

OCTOBER 2019

COMPLIMENTARY

Halloween CBD: MIRACLE CURE OR OVERHYPED FAD?

fun

HOW TO KEEP YOUNG ATHLETES HEALTHY

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INSIDE

OCTOBER 2019

features

14

CBD FAQ Miracle cure or fad?

What parents should know about cannabidiol.

8 Stay in the game How to keep young athletes physically and mentally healthy.

24 Funding the future

28 Haunted happenings Scary, and not-sospooky, fun for everyone across NH.

33 Put it in writing?

Some say learning cursive is necessary, while others say it’s in the past.

Manage the cost of college with grants, scholarships and 529 plans.

departments 3 From the editor’s desk 4 The short list 6 I want that 36 Tween us parents 38 Dad on board

39 House calls 40 Never a dull moment 42 Out & about 44 Time out

www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER OCTOBER 2019 2019

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from the editor’s desk CONTROL THE MESSAGE Someone posts on the social media platform Snapchat that a male student sexually assaulted a dozen female students and that it was reported to the school but they didn’t do anything about it.

The high school students share the post multiple times. The information, now in wide circulation, is addressed in a letter to parents and police start investigating. Everyone takes the disturbing allegations seriously, and start looking for the victims and the perpetrator in a school of more than 3,100 students.

The allegations are posted on a local, private Facebook group with more than 15,000 members.

Within hours there are hundreds of comments from upset parents theorizing about what happened, who could have done it and who is ultimately to blame.

Upset students plan a protest at school the following day. The Division of Children, Youth and Families is contacted. The media picks up the story and the story takes on a life of its own.

When I was a high school student, gossip only spread so fast. You had to pass a note or use the phone at home. At best, you could tell a group of friends between classes.

Because the delivery system was slow, a rumor would usually lose steam, or another one would replace it, or if you were in a different circle it would just never make it to you.

Fast forward to the social media era — click “share” and you’ve told hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people at one time. The amplification of the story is immediate.

But what if you share a lie — or worse, one that is slanderous or harmful or creates chaos?

The scenario I outlined above actually happened recently at Pinkerton Academy.

Within 24 hours, the Derry Police concluded that what the post alleged never happened, and nothing had been reported to the school.

One social media post managed to upset and

upend the largest high school in the state and several communities.

And while the person who initiated the post might think this is a harmless prank, it isn’t — just ask any sexual assault survivor. Any time a false allegation of sexual assault is made, no matter the context, it takes away from the actual victims who often deal with doubt and disbelief when reporting the crime.

But much can be learned from what happened, which is a microcosm of what’s going on every day on a much larger scale. Who of us hasn’t seen a meme, or a news item on Facebook, and without giving it too much thought or maybe even reading it, shared it with our “friends?”

We’ve all unknowingly spread false information.

In real life, if someone told you a disturbing story, you would ask questions and think about what you were told then decide what action to take. If you thought a crime was committed or someone was harmed, you would tell the authorities, and likely not run off and tell another friend first.

Social media is not going anywhere and communication technology is only going to improve, which leaves the onus on us to think about what we are sharing before we click. Take a minute to think about if what you are posting is true and if there are potential consequences to posting it, and teach your kids to do the same.

We can’t control the medium but we can try to control the message.

contributors • OCTOBER KRYSTEN GODFREY MADDOCKS has worked as a journalist and in marketing roles throughout the Granite State. She writes regularly for New England based higher education, business and technology organizations. Mom to preschooler Everett, she has enjoyed calling the Seacoast her home for more than 25 years.

JACQUELINE TOURVILLE is a freelance writer, children’s book author and longtime contributor to ParentingNH. Her specialty is discovering and writing about fun activities and events for families in New Hampshire.

MELANIE PLENDA is an award-winning freelance journalist and mom based in Keene. Her work has appeared in The Atlantic.com, The Daily Beast, American Baby and Parents.com, among other media outlets. She’s also the project manager for the Granite State News Collaborative.

KATHLEEN PALMER is an award-winning editor and journalist, marketing/communications content writer, and occasional comedic actress. Nothing makes her happier than making people laugh. She is a single mom to a teenager, so naturally she enjoys a glass of wine, or two. Check out her column, Never a Dull Moment.

MELANIE HITCHCOCK, EDITOR

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| OCTOBER 2019 3

the short list GET READY FOR HALLOWEEN To find more spooky and ghoulish fun and trick-or-treat times, check out www.parentingnh.com in October.

And don’t miss the haunted happenings event listing on Pages 28 -30.

UNH FIRST STEP BEGINS AS TWO-YEAR PILOT PROGRAM AT PINKERTON ACADEMY The University of New Hampshire has partnered with Pinkerton Academy to launch UNH First Step, a two-year pilot concurrent credit program. Beginning this fall, Pinkerton juniors and seniors can simultaneously earn high school and UNH credit in select high school courses.

“UNH First Step brings high school and college educators together with the shared goal to advance academic excellence and opportunity for New Hampshire students,” said Wayne Jones, UNH provost and vice president for academic affairs, adding that Pinkerton was a natural fit for the partnership given the quality of faculty and curricular offerings.

“Our ultimate goal is to make college more accessible to New Hampshire students. When students choose to stay here, they become part of the workforce engine that strengthens our state’s economy,” said Timothy Powers, headmaster of Pinkerton Academy.

Through UNH First Step, New Hampshire high school students can earn UNH credit in their high school computer science and

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communication arts courses. Pinkerton teachers have worked with faculty from UNH Manchester to develop courses that align high school learning activities with UNH academic rigor and expectations.

According to a 2018 report by the National Center for Education Statistics, 61 percent of New Hampshire’s high school graduates leave the state to pursue their four-year degrees.

“By enabling students to earn college credit in their own high school classrooms, programs like UNH First Step pave the way to academic opportunities at our in-state institutions,” New Hampshire Department of Education Commissioner Frank Edelblut said.

Sign up now for the Partnering for Strength conference on Oct. 26 ParentingNH is a proud sponsor of the Partnering for Strength conference, an annual event for youth with disabilities/special health care needs, their parents/family members and the professionals that support them. It’s a collaboration of the Parent Information Center, NH Family voices and the YEAH Council.

The Partnering for Strength Conference on Oct. 26 at the Grappone Center in Concord features two sessions: One for parents of children with disabilities and/or special health care needs and professionals and one for youth with disabilities and/or special health care needs ages 14- 26.

Meet someone new, learn from each other, and explore shared goals, challenges and visions at the conference.

This year’s keynote speaker is Zach Rossetti, PhD., Associate Professor of Special Education in the Boston University Wheelock College of Education & Human Development.

For more information, go to www.partnering 4strength.org.

Play around at the museum for Project A.C.M.E. University of New Hampshire faculty with Project A.C.M.E. (Advancing Children’s Museum Engagement) is conducting a research project on how to better understand how caregivers and preschool-age children interact and engage with the exhibits at the Children’s Museum of NH. Participating families will be invited to the museum free of charge, and will complete questionnaires as well as play together in two of the museum’s exhibits. Interactions will be videotaped.

The study visit is expected to last about 1½ hours and participants can play in the museum after the study. Families will be given a $20 gift card.

For more information, email Project.ACME@ unh.edu.

Play for free while you help out UNH and the Museum with a research study. COURTESY PHOTO

POETRY OUT LOUD REGISTRATION IS OPEN “He lives to learn,” wrote John Greenleaf Whittier in his poem “In School-days,” one of thousands of classic poems students may choose to learn as part of the 2020 New Hampshire Poetry Out Loud program.

The NH State Council on the Arts, which facilitates the program in New Hampshire, has opened registration for this year’s competition. There are only 45 spots for high schools and high school groups available for the 2020 round, which will mark the program’s 15th year.

As many as 10,000 New Hampshire students are expected to participate, starting at the classroom level.

Classroom winners advance to school competitions, which are followed by in-state regionals and the state championship in March. The winner will advance to the national finals in Washington, D.C. The program’s goal is to help stduents learn about great poets, poetry and literary history as they sharpen their presentation and public speaking skills.

To learn more about 2020 New Hampshire Poetry Out Loud, go to www.nh.gov/nharts.

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| OCTOBER 2019 5

I want that COMPILED BY MELANIE HITCHCOCK

Carve out some family fun Grampa Bardeen’s pumpkin carving kit contains easy-to-use tools designed for safe and accurate carving. With enough tools to share and many templates for inspiration, you’ll carve your best-ever pumpkins.

Includes 18 tools, 16 fun patterns, and carving instructions from the Bardeen family, who has more than 340 years of experience. AVAILABLE AT WWW.THEGROMMET.COM; $44.95

For variable fall weather Whether it’s a warm or cool fall in New Hampshire, Lasko’s All Season Comfort Control Tower Fan & Heater in One will keep you comfortable with its high-reaching tower fan design for maximum air delivery. The fan has four quiet fan speeds and three-speed ceramic tower heater with gentle warmth and versatile settings and digital remote control.

AVAILABLE AT WALMART OR AMAZON; $89.98

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Game on

Don’t lose the light

The Ring Toss Game Premium Set has five thick rope tossing rings, durable finished wood frame and posts, and includes a high-strength carrying case. It’s easy to set up and transport. It’s great for the backyard or bring it to a party. Fun for all ages.

Boost your mood! Sunlight Inside offers lamps to automatically deliver the benefits of natural light for those who aren’t able to get enough exposure to natural sunlight during the day, including the perfect light for your desk, office or anywhere focused, natural light is needed.

AVAILABLE AT WWW. YARDGAMES.COM; $19.99

FIND A LAMP TO SUIT YOUR NEEDS AT WWW.SUNLIGHTINSIDE. COM.

It’s football season The Patriots Trash Can Cooler is great for tailgating, parties, at a barbecue, or even as a laundry basket or a trash can. The bin is approximately 16” x 16” x 19” and features the New England Patriots logo and team name.

AVAILABLE AT WWW. PROSHOP.PATRIOTS.COM; $34.99

Practice time.

Show time.

College saving time.

The first step to helping their dreams come true is to make saving part of your routine.

The UNIQUE College Investing Plan account offers tax-deferred growth and no minimum to open an account.1 There’s also the Fidelity Investments 529 College Rewards® Visa Signature® Card, which lets you earn unlimited 2% cash back2 on everyday purchases. Rewards are deposited directly into your 529 account to make sure your saving and spending are in perfect rhythm.

To learn more, or to open an account, visit

Fidelity.com/unique

Managed by:

or call 800.544.1914.

Please carefully consider the plan’s investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses before investing. For this and other information on any 529 college savings plan managed by Fidelity, contact Fidelity for a free Fact Kit, or view one online. Read it carefully before you invest or send money.

The UNIQUE College Investing Plan is offered by the state of New Hampshire and managed by Fidelity Investments. If you or the designated beneficiary is not a New Hampshire resident, you may want to consider, before investing, whether your state or the beneficiary’s home state offers its residents a plan with alternate state tax advantages or other state benefits such as financial aid, scholarship funds, and protection from creditors.

Units of the portfolios are municipal securities and may be subject to market volatility and fluctuation.

Zero account minimums apply to self-directed brokerage accounts only. Account minimums may apply to certain account types (e.g., managed accounts) and/or the purchase of some Fidelity mutual funds that have a minimum investment requirement. See https://www.fidelity.com/commissions and/or the fund’s prospectus for details.

2 You will earn 2 Points per dollar in eligible net purchases (net purchases are purchases minus credits and returns) that you charge. Account must be open and in good standing to earn and redeem rewards and benefits. Upon approval, refer to your Program Rules for additional information. You may not redeem Reward Points, and you will immediately lose all of your Reward Points, if your Account is closed to future transactions (including, but not limited to, due to Program misuse, failure to pay, bankruptcy, or death). Reward Points will not expire as long as your Account remains open. Certain transactions are not eligible for Reward Points, including Advances (as defined in the Agreement, including wire transfers, travelers checks, money orders, foreign cash transactions, betting transactions, lottery tickets, and ATM disbursements), Annual Fee, convenience checks, balance transfers, unauthorized or fraudulent charges, overdraft advances, interest charges, fees, credit insurance charges, transactions to fund certain prepaid card products, U.S. Mint purchases, or transactions to purchase cash convertible items. The 2% cash back rewards value applies only to Points redeemed for a deposit into an eligible Fidelity account.

The redemption value is different if you choose to redeem your Points for other rewards such as travel options, merchandise, gift cards, and/or statement credit. Other restrictions apply. Full details appear in the Program Rules new card customers receive with their card. Establishment or ownership of a Fidelity account or other relationship with Fidelity Investments is not required to obtain a card or to be eligible to use Points to obtain any rewards offered under the program other than Fidelity Rewards.

The creditor and issuer of the Fidelity Investments 529 College Rewards® Visa Signature® Card is Elan Financial Services, pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A., Inc. The Fidelity Investments and pyramid design logo is a registered service mark of FMR LLC. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC, Member NYSE, SIPC, 900 Salem Street, Smithfield, RI 02917. © 2018 FMR LLC. All rights reserved. 790730.4.0 1

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Staying in the game What parents need to know about keeping young athletes healthy, both physically and mentally

BY KRYSTEN GODFREY MADDOX

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T

he progression seems natural. Your daughter makes the varsity team and works hard to get a starting position. To improve her fitness, she runs a few extra miles on the weekends. Then her coach suggests she play in a tournament; maybe spend a couple of weeks at a summer camp dedicated to her sport.

Your once-energetic daughter now appears lethargic and complains of being tired. Her knees hurt and her shin splints are acting up. She’s incredibly anxious and has trouble sleeping at night.

Then, one day, she simply announces, “I quit.”

How could this have happened and what can you do to keep kids from getting injured, burning out, and giving up?

ESPN conducted a Kids in Sports study in 2013 that revealed the number one reason why girls said they gave up a sport was because it wasn’t fun anymore. The second reason girls said they quit was to focus on boosting falling grades; while boys cited health problems or injury for the reason they dropped out. By a slim margin just below academic performance, girls cited injury as the third reason why they left a sport.

Karen Collins, chair and associate professor in the Kinesiology department at the University of New Hampshire, said there are guidelines when it comes to how many hours a week a young athlete should participate in all sports combined. Not only does this help prevent injury, it could lower the risk of burnout, too.

“The rule of thumb is you should be spending fewer hours (playing sports) than the age you are.

For example, a six-year-old could be doing tee ball, soccer, and karate and that could total 10 hours — and that’s too much,” she said. “The data and the research show that the incidence of injuries increases if you are participating in more hours of sports per week than your age.”

Instead of playing different sports — for example, soccer in the fall, basketball in the spring, and baseball in the fall — student-athletes are increasingly specializing in one sport year-round.

“The research shows that specializing in one sport causes a greater risk in injuries,” Collins said.

“Most injuries are overuse injuries at the middle school and high school level.”

There is a reason for that, Collins added, giving the example of a high school student who might play AAU basketball every weekend from April through July, and then play the sport on the school varsity team during the winter season.

“You are using the same muscles over and over, day after day,” she said. “What multi-sport participation does is to naturally use different parts of your body, depending on that sport,” she said.

Even if athletes do switch up what sports they play, they still need adequate rest and recovery. Instead, many students move from one season to the next, with hardly a break in between.

“Those are the ones who don’t really complain until they are feeling bad,” Collins said. “They find, now I have a stress fracture in my shin because I didn’t take a break from running over three seasons. That’s manageable with rest and recovery — the hardest sports to recover from are from are those that cause head trauma or concussions.”

Dr. Pat Casey, an orthopedic surgeon with Concord Orthopaedics, who has been in practice for 16 years, agrees with Collins. He frequently treats kids who present with overuse injuries, often due to playing a single sport, year-round. In a 24-hour period this September, he treated three students with ACL tears.

“If a kid is good at one sport, they are encouraged to keep playing. The coach says, ‘we need you on the team.’ When kids excel at a sport, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy — they play it, they get positive reinforcement, and the coaches can put together better teams. It becomes a cycle.”

PRESSURE TO PERFORM Even if student-athletes aren’t competing for Division I college scholarships, there is still pressure to be the best that you can be and that can start as early as middle school.

Whether that pressure comes from parents, coaches, or from the kids themselves, it’s something that needs to be kept in check. It all comes down to setting reasonable goals, said Collins, who also works with coaches and athletes as a sports psychology consultant to help develop a positive sport environment at UNH.

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| OCTOBER 2019 9

“Goals are not relative to outcome; they are relative to process. At the higher levels, while more importance is placed on winning and losing, there is still room for process goals. In middle school, it should be about development and not winning,” she said.

Coaches should instead work with students on setting process goals.

For a pitcher, it could mean setting goals around types of pitches, hittable pitches, throwing what coaches and catchers are asking for, and learning how to refocus to start fresh every inning, pitching to one batter at a time, Collins said.

“Now that puts it back in control of the athlete and eliminates some of that pressure to perform,” she said.

Collins said parents can help reduce pressure to perform by being aware of how they communicate with their student-athlete. Instead of asking, “How was practice today?”, they can ask better questions such as: “What did you learn today?”, or “What was one way you impacted practice today?”

Another approach includes waiting for them to initiate the conversation related to their sport. A warning sign to look out for: If your son or daughter used to share a lot of details about sports with you, but stops.

Casey, who has a 14-year-old daughter who plays soccer, basketball, and lacrosse said there is pressure on the parents, too, because they don’t want to see their children left behind. Likewise, many coaches “sell parents a dream,” too, which could include the opportunity to earn a college scholarship, he said.

“I don’t think the coaches are doing it maliciously. They are not trying to hurt kids; they feel the excitement and they tend to put the best players out on the field all the time,” Casey said.

“I say to players and families all the time, sports are a great way to get a scholarship, but academics are, too. If you spend as many hours on physics or poetry as you do on sports, there is a good chance you might get a scholarship, too.”

INJURIES Most people are aware that football players are prone to injury, particularly head injury. According to research published in the journal JAMA Pediatrics, about 78,000 concussions occur per year at the youth level.

Other contact sports in which players wear helmets — such as hockey and lacrosse — also have high impact rates. Sports that require athletes to go up and down — like gymnastics or cheerleading — likewise pose danger. But even soccer players aren’t immune to injury if they go

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in to “head” the ball and knock noggins with another player.

Students who seek treatment from Casey often come in with chronic, nagging pain; for example, shoulder pain, elbow pain, or stress fractures — injuries that start gradually and get worse and worse with overuse. Female athletes, particularly those in sports that involve “cutting,” or quick movements in sports like basketball, soccer or lacrosse, are most at risk.

“Males still injure their knees as well, but this is a female epidemic — there is not one week that goes by that I do not see a female who has torn her ACL,” he said.

Participation in sports can trigger other types of pain that parents and coaches should look out for. Hazing, although illegal, still exists. It might be as subtle as requiring freshmen to pick up all the balls or wear a costume to practice, but it still enforces a hierarchy that coaches should not promote or tolerate, Collins said.

For some athletes, their body image, whether they want to lose weight or gain muscle, can cause a different kind of pain. The images on social media don’t help, either. Parents need to pay attention to any changes in their child’s eating behavior and put the focus back on nutrition.

“They should work together with coaches and talk to the kids about what snacks they should eat before and after practice. The language should be: It’s for athletic performance — you are eating for athletic performance opposed to getting skinnier, bigger, or smaller,” Collins said.

Athletes’ feelings can also get hurt if they feel left out. Cliques do form on teams and coaches should do their best to break them up before they become harmful.

“We need to encourage the idea that everyone on the team plays an important role,” Collins said.

GETTING BACK ON THE FIELD When student-athletes get injured, some seek specialty sports training to return to the game safely. Even after they are “cleared” by their physician, school trainer or physical therapist, many need more time and conditioning before they can compete at the same level as before.

Gerry Scaccia, manager and head strength coach at Complete Athlete Sports Performance Center in Derry, which offers sports training to both students and adults, helps athletes build up their strength and speed.

The center also offers a special post-injury training program. Kids can attend eight sessions and get personalized attention. Complete Athlete works with the athlete’s doctor or physical therapist to determine exactly where they need help in their recovery process, Scaccia said.

Core Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine & Core Pediatric Dentistry Keeping You Healthy is at Our Core

Core Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine is dedicated to providing high quality, compassionate care to infants, children and adolescents. We are pleased to assist with the health needs of your family in a child friendly, pleasant environment in three convenient locations – Epping, Exeter and Plaistow. Pediatric allergy and asthma services are also offered at our Exeter location, 603-418-0038.

Epping: 212 Calef Highway 603-693-2100

Exeter: 9 Buzell Avenue 603-772-8900

Plaistow: 166 Plaistow Road 603-257-4000

All locations are welcoming new patients.

Core Pediatric Dentistry, located at 5 Hampton Road in Exeter, provides dental care for infants, children, adolescents and children with special health care needs. For more information, call 603-773-4900.

corephysicians.org Like us on Facebook for news, healthy tips & medical information.

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| OCTOBER 2019 11

Complete Athlete was founded 15 years ago by Scaccia’s brother, Bob, a physical therapist and strength and conditioning coach who couldn’t believe the number of injuries he was seeing in athletes-- particularly female athletes.

Why is this happening?

“A big factor is because girls are doing the exact same things as boys — and no matter what, boys are generally stronger, and their body parts are bigger — particularly the knee and ACL/MCL,” he said. “This is not to say that the boys aren’t suffering from a large number of sports-related injuries as well, but the percentage rise in females is alarming.”

Right now, Scaccia works with six athletes recovering from major injuries — all of them girls. They play different sports, and several were referred by doctors and physical therapists.

Scaccia said he sees a lot of injuries that are a result of repetitive motion, as well as ankle sprains, and inflammation in the shoulders and lower back. The main causal factors are cutting, landing and stopping as well as not engaging in proper movement mechanics. Complete Athlete teaches athletes how to perform these movements correctly, as well as how to strengthen muscle groups associated with performing these movements.

Like Dr. Casey, the number one reason why Scaccia believes kids are getting injured more often is because they are only playing one sport starting at an early age. While

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their skills in their preferred sports may be phenomenal, they have trouble moving their bodies in different ways and “ignore hundreds of other movements,” Scaccia said.

Many athletes that attend Complete Athlete are kids who do not have insurance plans that cover physical therapy or have high co-pays. Or worse, they go back to their sport too early and find they aren’t ready — leaving them at risk of another injury.

“We almost become the bridge between PT and their diagnosis,” Scaccia said.

RULES AND REGULATIONS To help reduce injuries and promote safety for students, high school coaches follow guidelines set by their schools and the New Hampshire Interscholastic Athletic Association, whose mission is to ensure fair play in competition and equal opportunity in the state’s interscholastic programs.

Coaches with the right tools and training can help students avoid sports injuries and get the most out of their high school sports experience.

The NHIAA sets the requirements coaches must have before they step out onto the field, said Jeffrey Collins, NHIAA executive director (no relation to Karen Collins). This includes CPR and First Aid certification. Head coaches need to take a Principles of Coaching class and all coaches must take an online course that focuses on the signs and symptoms of heatrelated illnesses.

“We try to get them the tools necessary, along with their athletic directors, who are fantastic and offer different types (of training),” Jeffrey Collins said.

The NHIAA adopted the “Life of an Athlete” program, created by John Underwood, a former Olympic trainer to increase healthy lifestyles among

youth, including the choice not to misuse alcohol, tobacco and other drugs. The NHIAA’s Life of an Athlete New Hampshire Coaches Playbook helps coaches guide student-athletes to make good lifestyle choices that optimize performance both on and off the field.

The playbook covers topics such as the role of a coach, supporting proper sleep and nutrition, selecting and training team leaders, creating a positive team culture, and how to recognize and prevent alcohol, tobacco, and drug use. The last page of the guide includes a sample code of conduct that both parents and students can sign, pledging their adherence to high standards of ethics and sportsmanship.

At the end of the day, the best way for coaches and parents to ensure kids aren’t getting hurt is to keep the lines of communication open.

“It’s OK for kids to express their feelings. That’s essential for any kid in high school, whether they are in sports, band, or chorus. Those open lines of communication allow coaches and teachers to know what’s going on in their lives,” Jeffrey Collins said.

Parents of student-athletes need to pay attention to their kids’ personalities and overall persona relative to sports. While waiting for their X-rays, some of Casey’s injured athletes have revealed to him privately that they feel they can’t tell their parents they don’t want to play anymore.

“The biggest thing is to make sure it’s fun and they are enjoying it. If they are not enjoying it, their personality changes,” Casey said. “It affects the player mentally as well as physically. I make the parents aware that it’s easy to get caught up in the momentum and forget to say — is this really what’s best for my child or our family?”

Krysten Godfrey Maddocks has worked as a journalist and in marketing roles throughout the Granite State.

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CBD:

Miracle cure or overhyped fad?

BY KRYSTEN GODFREY MADDOX

14 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

CBD.

You see it advertised in smoke shops, gas stations, health food stores, and online, too. Big stars are promoting its healing properties. Recently, former New England Patriots star Rob “Gronk” Gronkowski formed a partnership with the company CBDMEDIC to create a line of topical pain relief treatments that include the hemp-derived compound.

A Gallup poll released in August reports that 14% of Americans today use it; the younger you are, the more likely you are to have tried it. Americans say they are using it to relieve pain (40%) and keep anxiety at bay (20%). If it’s such a miracle cure, should parents consider using it on their child or teen?

There simply is not enough research to answer that question, experts say, challenging parents to make decisions on their own.

WHAT IS CBD? Cannabidiol (CBD) is one of some 113 identified cannabinoids in cannabis plants and accounts for up to 40% of the plant’s extract. Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) is one of the other cannabinoids found in marijuana; the part of the hemp plant that creates a “high.”

Congress passed the 2018 Farm Bill in December 2018, which made CBD legal to use if

products do not include more than .03% of the psychoactive ingredient THC. CBD is a close cousin of THC only in that it comes from the same hemp plant.

Because CBD is not FDAapproved or inspected for quality control, doctors can’t prescribe it, suggest dosing, or point patients to ways it should be used to treat the ailments it’s purported to help — ranging from anxiety to ADHD to chronic pain.

Instead, customers rely on CBD proprietors to suggest dosing, methods of ingestion (tincture, oil, cream, edible, or vaping), and preferred brands.

There have been no studies that indicate any harm the substance may cause over the longterm in adults or children. In June 2018, the FDA approved the first CBD drug, marketed under the brand name of Epidiolex, an oral solution approved to treat two rare and severe seizure disorders.

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| OCTOBER 2019 15

Dr. Stuart Glassman, a rehabilitation medicine physician at Granite Physiatry in Concord, and a former member of the state’s Therapeutic Cannabis Advisory Council, said that the American Medical Association and the New Hampshire Medical Society at this time do not recommend usage of CBD for anything except in the form of Epidiolex.

“Studies have come out that demonstrate that the amount of CBD in over-the-counter products varies from taking way more than you should be taking to taking in almost nothing,” he said. “What’s available everywhere else (outside of Epidiolex) has no requirements for what has to be in there.”

MIRACLE CURE OR PLACEBO? While some parents worry about their teens vaping CBD and potentially getting exposed to THC or other substances, other parents are scrambling for access to it in the hopes that CBD can work alongside pharmaceutical drugs when it comes to helping their children stave off pain or keep anxiety symptoms at bay.

Melissa LeBlanc of Dover sought CBD oil to help her eightyear-old daughter, Laynie, who suffers from anxiety and Tourette Syndrome. Tourette Syndrome is a neurological disorder known most for its repetitive, involuntary movements and vocalizations called “tics.”

Laynie developed tics more than a year and a half ago, after a series of sinus infections. LeBlanc noticed that her daughter was still clearing her nose. The snorting sound she was making was soon followed by finger sniffing. As these

16 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

behaviors, or “tics,” persisted, LeBlanc said it was obvious they were a result of something more than just a sinus infection.

A neurologist in Massachusetts diagnosed Laynie with Tourette’s and prescribed Guanfacine, a medication meant to control tics. While the drug had initially helped some, Laynie still had some noticeable tics.

LeBlanc had heard that CBD could possibly help and wanted to talk to Laynie’s doctor about it, but because it’s not approved by the FDA, she had to speak in “code” regarding the right brand, dosage, and type of CBD that would be most effective for Laynie.

“When I met with her, she said she was not allowed to recommend it and couldn’t give any information on it. She also said that it has not been tested for Tourette’s, only for epileptics,” LeBlanc said. “We tried it, and literally instantly — zero tics,” LeBlanc said.

At one point, LeBlanc had hoped CBD would help enough so that Laynie could wean off Guanfacine. But a couple of months later, the tics returned. LeBlanc upped her daughter’s CBD dosage from one drop in the morning and evening to two drops each time. One day, when Laynie missed a dose of both the CBD and the Guanfacine, her tics were the worst they had ever been, LeBlanc said.

“CBD is just another tool in our toolbox in addition to medicine, therapy, and physical activity — which are all important,” LeBlanc said.

LeBlanc uses CBD herself to calm her own anxiety and

CBD can be found in a variety of products — including gum, candy, dog snacks and bath bombs — as shown here at retailer American Shaman in Nashua. PHOTO BY KENDAL BUSH

quell some tics she experiences herself. The drug doesn’t cause a “high,” nor does it make her drowsy.

“It’s a good option for people. It’s a good option for me.

I am trying to take it more consistently to see a pattern,” she said. “I took it this morning and I took it last night and I didn’t tic.”

HOW CBD IS REGULATED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE Stores can legally sell CBD in New Hampshire, with some caveats, according to officials at the New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services.

In June 2019, the department issued the following statement, “As part of its authority under the Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration regulated cannabis or cannabis-derived compounds such as CBD. CBD is not currently an approved food additive under FDA regulations. As the State of New Hampshire’s Food Protection Program has adopted the FDA Food Code into the administrative rules that regulate food establishments in New Hampshire, CBD is not a permitted additive in the state. This guidance has also been issued to self-inspecting municipalities that follow these regulations.”

Therefore, you may see some CBD products in some stores and cities and not in others. There are 15 cities and towns in New Hampshire that conduct their own inspections, according to Colleen Smith, administrator with the Food Protection Section of the Bureau of Public Health Protection.

“We work closely with them and their rules are similar to

ours, or they may be more restrictive,” Smith said. “If a facility is only selling pre-packaged food and it doesn’t require refrigeration, it’s not licensed or inspected by us — although some self-inspecting towns might choose to license these stores.”

The state is not policing food establishments, rather it is responding to consumer complaints and focusing on education, Smith said.

Patricia Tilley, deputy director of the Division of Public Health Services at DHHS, said that the state is providing education to food service establishments and commercial entities, with guidance that has been given to them by the FDA. And while DHHS provides oversight for the state’s medical marijuana program, including what ailments should be covered under a medical marijuana card and how its Alternative Treatment Centers (ATCs) should be regulated, CBD hasn’t even made the agenda of the state’s Therapeutic Cannabis Medical Oversight Board.

“They haven’t taken up CBD as an issue yet. We are continuing to work with the FDA trying to follow their guidance,” Tilley said.

There is also no restriction to selling CBD to minors under 18 or 21. The only enforceable law is related to how CBD is ingested, said Captain Todd Pinkham of the Rochester Police Department.

“A vape or something like that is already illegal to minors and if you are under 18 you can’t possess it. If kids are using those items to smoke CBD or ingest it, that may be illegal,” Pinkham said.

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| OCTOBER 2019 17

Retailers espouse the benefits of CBD at their stores.

PHOTO BY KENDAL BUSH

Tilley said she is especially concerned about the risks of teens vaping CBD. Four years ago, statistics showed an uptick in vaping among teens in New Hampshire, and in 2017, a New Hampshire Youth Risk Behavior Survey showed that close to 30% of high school seniors admitted to vaping.

Furthermore, that same survey showed that New Hampshire youth do not perceive much risk in using cannabis, which might hint that teens perceive CBD to be even less of a risk, she said.

A “TOUCHDOWN” FOR CBD? When a three-time New England Patriots Super Bowl champ endorses a product, New Hampshire teens are bound to pay attention. On Aug. 27, 2019, Rob Gronkowski announced he had “become an advocate for CBD and an investor in Abacus Health Products.”

Abacus is the maker of CBDMEDIC, which produces topical medications that combine over-thecounter active ingredients with CBD-rich hemp oil and other moisturizers. As part of the agreement, Gronkowski will partner with Abacus to expand CBDMEDIC’s product line, according to a press release from the company.

Its products include relief medications for muscle and joint pain, back and neck pain, and arthritis-related pain. Some of its products claim to help reduce acne, a problem often associated with teens.

Even though its products are not meant to be smoked or ingested to cure anxiety or stress, CBDMEDIC has vaulted CBD firmly into the forefront of popular cul-

18 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

ture. Its message: “Gronkowski’s passion for living life to the fullest while maintaining a healthy, natural, and pain-free lifestyle aligns perfectly with the mission of both Abacus and CBDMEDIC…” Rochester Police Captain Pinkham notes that unlike other CBD available on the market, Gronk’s product has undergone extensive testing and comes from a reputable source. Teens may think that because the football star is promoting the product that CBDMEDIC produces, that CBD in all forms is safe to use. “…But the message in general that it’s relaying is that CBD could be safe. Some of the other retailers don’t have his money, this amount of research, or as much money to lose as he does,” Pinkham said.

And until legislators make decisions about how to regulate CBD, consumers will continue to hang in limbo when it comes to making the best decisions for themselves or their families.

While retailers capitalize on the promise of CBD, LeBlanc and her daughter Laynie hope that medical research — rather than marketing — can help provide better answers.

“It will take time to get guidance around dosing, and in that timeframe, we will have to figure it out on our own — which is frustrating,” she said.

Krysten Godfrey Maddocks has worked as a journalist and in marketing roles throughout the Granite State. She now regularly writes for New England-based higher education, business, and technology organizations. Mom to preschooler Everett, she has enjoyed calling the Seacoast her home for more than 25 years.

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| OCTOBER 2019 19

Where you’ll find CBD FROM YOUR LOCAL GAS STATION TO HEALTH FOOD STORES TO SPECIALTY SHOPS, THERE ARE A WIDE VARIETY OF PLACES YOU CAN FIND PRODUCTS CONTAINING CBD IN NEW HAMPSHIRE. IF YOU DON’T WANT TO LEAVE HOME, YOU CAN BUY IT ON AMAZON OR FIND WHOLESALERS AND RETAILERS WHO SELL CBD ONLINE ONLY.

Business is growing Joshua Gragg, co-owner of the CBD American Shaman franchises in Londonderry, Manchester, and Nashua, started using CBD three years ago to help alleviate chronic pain, anxiety, post-traumatic stress syndrome, and depression. He had tried different brands at various vape and smoke shops and said it never worked the way it should.

He found CBD American Shaman by doing his own research.

“No other company has the technology that we have, which is vital to us in our continued success in the business,” Gragg said.

CBD American Shaman is the largest national franchise that sells CBD with 300 locations across the United States. Gragg helped his friends open stores in Salem and Concord but was inspired to open his own franchises as a result of his uncle’s struggle with cancer.

“My uncle had Stage 4 lung cancer and we were researching alternate means of treatment. In the cancer industry, 80% to 85% of people diagnosed with terminal cancer die from the treatment and not from the cancer. He started researching and found that CBD could be used as an alternate way to combat the issue. He was right,” Gragg said. “It put him in remission and that was how our company was founded.”

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Customers who visit CBD American Shaman are invited to sit down and talk to educated staff about CBD, how it works, what it does in the body and what it can do for the body, Gragg said. His stores offer CBD in the form of edibles, topicals, vape products, capsules, and oils. The stores also sell gummies, cookies, and candy that contain CBD. Although there is no age requirement, Gragg said he does not sell products to minors under 18.

“They are not legally adults yet and I don’t want people accusing me of selling kids drugs — thinking CBD is going to get kids high,” he said.

Formulated locally Clearly Better Days, based in Loudon, not only sells CBD products, it makes most of them. Clearly Better Days buys its hemp out

of Colorado and formulates CBD products locally. Although Carrie James, chief formulator, said the company would love to partner with certified organic farmers in New Hampshire, it’s not legal to grow hemp in the Granite State.

Because hemp growing is legal in Colorado, Clearly Better Days can get a more consistent product.

“We make sure our oil gets tested regularly. Once the company gets the oil (from Colorado), we test every batch and third-party test.

Heavy metals, pesticides – we make sure none of that stuff is in there. We know the level of cannabinoids that are in there,” James said. “We want to put out what we say we are putting out.”

Soon, Clearly Better Days wants to put QR codes on the bottles of its CBD oils so that when someone buys a bottle, they can scan the code and receive third-party test

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While Clearly Better Days representatives will talk to parents about the benefits of giving CBD to children and teens, James urges parents to talk to their doctors about it.

Clearly Better Days only sells its CBD products at craft fairs and through its website. The wholesaler primarily sells its products in New Hampshire and exhibited last year at the Made In New Hampshire “Try it and Buy It” Expo.

Joshua Gragg, co-owner of 3 American Shaman franchises in New Hampshire talks with an employee, Megan, at the Nashua location, to demonstrate an interaction they often have with those interested in purchasing CBD. Education is part of the process of selling the recently legalized substance.

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BEHAVIORIAL AND MENTAL DISORDERS IN CHILDREN Equipping and skills to

What’s the best way to talk to my teens about mental illness or issues they may be facing at school?

Helping children

deal with mental health and anxiety issues can be challenging for the entire family. ParentingNH reached out to two professionals to learn how to spot these challenges and best deal with them.

OUR EXPERTS: Kathy Nelson, Founder and President, World Academy, in Nashua; worldacademynh.com. Jeanna Still, LICSW, Director of Child and Adolescent Services at The Mental Health Center of Greater Manchester; mhcgm.org

How common are mental health disorders in teens?

Still: “The World Health Organization (WHO) cites 10-20% of teens will struggle with a mental health condition and The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) states 1 out of 5.”

What are some of the warning signs should I watch for that would indicate my child is dealing with mental health challenges?

Nelson: “Warning signs for mental health challenges in children and adolescents can manifest themselves in many different forms.

It is important to understand the difference between the typical emotional swings of children and teens and the warning signs of mental challenges. The two key indicators are the length of which the change in behavior has

22 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

been present and if the behavior is affecting the daily functioning of the child. Typically, any changes that last for more than two weeks are a red flag and need professional attention. Some of the changes in behavior to look for are mood swings, social withdrawal, loss of interest in favorite activities, intense feelings, weight loss, excessive worry, and sleep disturbances. In many cases, especially in children and teens, physical symptoms such as stomachaches, headaches and muscle tension can be also present. In addition, teachers can provide parents some important information about any changes in behavior at school. Any unexpected decline in school performance, persistent problematic and aggressive behavior, and refusal to attend or participate in school activities are some indicators that a child might be dealing with mental health challenges. It is important to reach out to a child’s pediatrician as soon as these warning signs are seen as early intervention is key when dealing effectively with mental illness.”

Still: “One of the best ways to talk to teens about mental illness is to listen to them if they are willing to talk to you. Validation is one of the best tools to use because it demonstrates listening without judgement. If a child tells their parent they are feeling depressed the parent might react unknowingly with an invalidating statement such as “How can you be depressed? You have friends, play soccer and have your own room. It could be a lot worse than this!” Although the facts could be correct, this type of statement will most likely lead to the teenager shutting down.

A more helpful response to say is “I am sorry you are having such a rough time right now, what’s going on for you?” This is obviously simplified, yet validation is simple in that you are not necessarily agreeing with the teen’s statement and they feel understood without being judged. Unfortunately, many adolescents will not speak with parents about mental health challenges for a variety of reasons like not wanting to disappoint a parent, shame or family culture. Encouraging them to talk with other adults they feel comfortable with is a way to support them as well.

Finally, if you do have a talker, then sharing education about the brain having diseases similar to how the body can have diseases is a normalizing way to decrease stigma.

Hopefully this will be the encouragement needed to move forward with treatment.

Your kids are always listening to you, even when you think they aren’t!”

Nelson: “Teens can be particularly more vulnerable to mental health challenges as they deal with many social pressures and physical changes. Therefore, mental health is always an important topic of conversation to have with your teen, even if there is no indication of a mental health issues. Like any potential life issue, educating teens about mental health in general and equipping them with the needed coping strategies can help prevent the development of or escalation of mental illness issues in the future. If parents have a trusting relationship with their child, expressing that there will be difficult and confusing situations that can arise throughout their growth years and that they can share anything with you confidently, without judgment (honestly), will keep the doors of com-

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Should I share my child’s mental health issues with the school?

Nelson: “Yes, with an administrator or person you can trust. Children and teens spend a significant amount of time in school. Sharing your child’s mental health challenges with your child’s teacher, school counselor and/or a trusted administrator ensures that there can be a plan put in place to support your child’s needs.

While always protecting your child’s confidentiality, schools can provide a great support system for students and their families facing mental health challenges, and the school staff can play a significant role in the treatment process. With parental permission, it’s common for mental health profes-

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What are the consequences of not addressing adolescent mental health issues?

Still: “If adolescent mental health concerns are left untreated this can lead to substance misuse, lost or damaged relationships, physical illness and chronic mental health conditions as an adult. Drugs and alcohol can provide instant relief from the pain of anxiety, depression and trauma. Teens might be experimenting with cannabis, for example, and realize that they are much less anxious when they are high — which in turn can lead to using cannabis to self-medicate. When mental illness goes untreated a more frequent or habitual use pattern can develop. Anxiety can have a significant impact on a teen’s ability to socialize, attend school or even leave the house. This has obvious detrimental effects on forming relationships with friends and completing school requirements. Depression makes getting out of bed difficult and longterm effects of poor sleep, diet and exercise are linked with physical illness such as diabetes. There are many treatment options available to teens today; such as office or homebased services when appropriate, and a team approach that includes a psychiatrist to prescribe medication, clinician, and community support worker. I encourage caregivers to reach out with questions or concerns to me or other providers in the community.”

Depression? ss ?

Still: “Some of the most common contributing factors that lead to teen depression are family history of depression, trauma history or recent incident, major life changes or stressors. Although feeling depressed from time to time is quite common for most teens (and adults), having depression affects less than 20% of adolescents.

Speak with your primary care physician if you have concerns. As I mentioned earlier, this is a treatable condition with positive outcomes.”

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What are the contributing factors to teen depression?

sionals to collaborate with schools to gain a better understanding of the challenges the child might face by looking at behavioral patterns, triggers, and social interactions. Schools have many resources available to support typical and atypical stages in the life of developing children and teens and those can make a great difference if embraced early in the process. The main goal is for parents and the school to work together in a constructive and positive manner for the overall well-being of the child.”

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Editor’s note: This is the second part of ParentingNH’s two-part series on how to pay for college. In the September issue we gave tips and guidelines on how to file the FAFSA. If you missed it, go to www.parentingnh.com.

PAYING FOR COLLEGE G R A N T S

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ost parents will need help paying for their child’s college education, but luckily there are a number of resources available to parents (and students) to help them foot the bill.

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The Basics: Financial aid is simply money that you either borrow or are given to help pay for college. This means sometimes you have to pay it back and sometimes you don’t.

24 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

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Sifting through grants, scholarships, workstudy, private loans and savings plans can seem overwhelming, but getting organized is a good first step to stitching together a funding scheme that works.

Wendy Lindsay, director of the New England Board of Higher Education’s tuition-discounting program, said it’s good to start early.

“Certainly by junior year of high school it’s good to start being aware of the different options out there, so parents should start doing their research,” she said. “Then it’s good for parents to establish a calendar to stay on track with what needs to be done.”

This calendar, she said, can be used to keep track of application deadlines for not only the college or colleges your child wants to attend, but also financial aid deadlines and scholarship application deadlines.

As for gathering that research, Lindsay said, there are a number of great places to start including the College Board’s Big Future website.

Here, parents and students can save all their college planning activities by signing into a

leave money on table Grants, scholarships and 529 plans can help reduce the cost of a college education. Here’s where to start.

BY MELANIE PLENDA

College Board account. In addition to a function that allows visitors to calculate what they will need to pay for college, help with financial aid and a scholarship database, the site offers visitors a chance to compare colleges and explore majors.

Another resource is the NHHEAF Network, which includes New Hampshire Higher Education Assistance Foundation (NHHEAF), Granite State Management & Resources (GSM&R) and New Hampshire Higher Education Loan Corporation (NHHELCO).

NHHEAF regularly holds information sessions at local high schools but also hosts a website called NH College Club. Here, students and parents can watch the presentations on the NHHEAF YouTube Channel; take virtual campus tours; order free college planning publications for elementary/middle and high school students; watch the “Financially Fit in Fifteen” video series featuring a personal finance management expert discussing financial literacy topics; use college calculators; and access a listing of scholarships available in New Hampshire.

GRANTS AND SCHOLARSHIPS FAQ Getting down to the basics, financial aid is simply money that you either borrow or are given to help pay for college, which means sometimes you have to pay it back and sometimes you don’t.

Grants and scholarships are the types of financial aid that you don’t have to pay back and are typically awarded based on financial need or academic achievement, according to The College Board website. These are always worth applying for, but, as The College Board cautions, they don’t cover the entire cost of college.

“It’s just part of the picture,” according to the College Board site, “a picture that may include loans, family savings and other sources of money.”

While the words “scholarships” and “grants” are often used interchangeably, there are important differences.

According to The College Board, most scholarships are given based

on merits that could include academic or athletic excellence and can have rules the student has to follow to continue receiving aid.

Meanwhile, grants are need-based and are often given out based on a family’s financial situation, according to The College Board.

Grants and scholarships can come from state and federal governments as well as colleges. The Pell Grant is federal aid that’s given out and determined by information in a student’s FAFSA application.

The FAFSA — Free Application for Federal Student Aid — is an online form that determines eligibility for financial aid. The FAFSA for the upcoming academic year is released Oct. 1 and can be accessed at www. fafsa.gov.

Locally, the NHHEAF Network offers help with the FAFSA. Even if families don’t think they can qualify for federal aid, Valerie R. Castonguay of the NHHEAF Network said it’s worth filling it out since many grants and scholarships use FAFSA information in their decision-making and application processes.

As for state-level grants, New Hampshire offers one, said Michael Seidel, the Director of the Division of Educator Support and Higher Education for the Department of Education until August 2019.

“We still maintain the Scholarships for Orphans of Veterans,” he said.

The program, first established by the state Legislature in 1943, provides $2,500 scholarships to children of New Hampshire service members who died on active duty or of service-connected disabilities.

NH SCHOLARS The Department of Education is tangentially involved in the New Hampshire Scholars program.

New Hampshire Scholars is a community-based program that encourages students to take a more rigorous core course of study in high school. It is based on a partnership between a community’s local business leaders and its school district, according to their website, www.nhscholars.org. If they complete the course of study, they

www.parentingnh.com

| OCTOBER 2019 25

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Most New Hampshire colleges offer merit scholarships to NH Scholars. For example, each Community College offers NH Scholars 12, $500 nonrenewable merit-based awards. Several four-year in-state colleges also offer larger scholarships to students who’ve earned the NH Scholar designation.

Colby-Sawyer College offers renewable merit scholarships ranging from $20,000 to $26,000 for which NH Scholars students may be eligible.

Franklin Pierce University offers renewable merit scholarships ranging from $15,000 to full-tuition scholarships annually for accepted NH Scholars. Additionally, NH Scholars majoring in biology or health sciences may be eligible for an additional $5,000 Health Sciences Scholarship.

Other schools offer admission fee waivers to NH Scholar students.

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Companies, foundations, community organizations and clubs also sponsor grants or scholarships. Grants and scholarships from these private organizations are called outside, or private, scholarships.

“The biggest one in New Hampshire is The New Hampshire Charitable Foundation,” said Castonguay. “In order to apply for them, students have to have a FAFSA on file.”

Catonguay said this is one of the many reasons it’s worthwhile to apply for the FAFSA even if it may not result in federal aid.

NHCF is the largest provider of publicly available scholarships in New Hampshire and has awarded more than $6 million to more than 1,500 students each year, according to its website. They do this through 390 scholarship funds created by private donors, which the foundation lists on its website.

These scholarships are typically based on both merit and need, and are awarded to students for professional certificate programs, licensure, two- and four-year undergraduate degrees and graduate school.

Though the Foundation doesn’t accept applications for the individual scholarships — each organization offering a scholarship has its own process — NHCF does offer a single online application that it uses to match students with all scholarships for which they qualify.

Students may also be able to find other scholarship opportunities through other sources, according to The College Board, including parents’ employers or labor unions; the family’s religious center; and, organizations such as NAACP, 4-H and the Boy Scouts of America.

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In addition to grants, scholarships and aid, some colleges and universities also offer discounted tuition in some areas of study.

Lindsay with the New England Board of Higher Education said they offer The Tuition Break Program. Through this program, she said, New Hampshire students can get discounted tuition for enrolling in programs in any of the five New England states not offered by the community college or university systems in New Hampshire.

“There are hundreds of programs that are available — associate’s, bachelor’s and graduate — to New Hampshire residents and students save on average about $7,000 a year on their tuition bill through this program. The savings is significant and the program really opens up a lot of

For more information • The College Board’s Big Future: www.bigfuture.collegeboard.org • NHHEAF Network: www.nhheaf.org • NH Scholars: www.nhscholars.org • The UNIQUE College Investing Plan and Fidelity Advisor 529 Plan: www.fidelity.com • New Hampshire Charitable Foundation (NHCF): www.nhcf.org • FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid): www.fafsa.gov

opportunities for students.”

Lindsay said there are programs in all areas of study ranging from liberal arts to science, math and engineering. Lindsay said they keep an updated listing of programs on the NEBHE website.

529 PLANS Another source of funding for college can come from 529 college savings plans.

“The benefit of these accounts is that the earnings grow tax-deferred,” said Monica Mezzapelle, NH Deputy State Treasurer, “and if they are used for qualified education expenses, they essentially grow tax-free.”

Some states provide tax benefits with these plans as well, Mezzapelle said. For example, in New Hampshire, 529 plans are exempt from the interest and dividends tax. You do not have to be a resident of a state to participate in their 529 plan.

Families can open 529 plans at any time, but the earlier a family opens an account, the more they can set aside for college, Mezzapelle said.

Some accounts also don’t have a minimum to open an account so families can get started with a relatively small amount.

As for how much to set aside, Mezzapelle said in addition to using online college calculators to determine how much you will need to save altogether, Fidelity Investments, which administers NH’s Unique 529 plan, designed the “college savings 2K rule of thumb.”

“Simply multiply the child’s current age by $2,000,” Mezzapelle said.

“This amount can show whether savings to date are generally on track to cover 50 percent of the cost of attending a four-year public college.”

The funds can be used for a variety of college-related expenses. If it turns out your student chooses not to go to college, the money can be withdrawn, although there is a tax penalty. The money can also be transferred to another family member for education-related expenses.

Mezzapelle said in general, 529 plans are a great vehicle to help families save.

“College is expensive and folks out there are just borrowing so much. …I believe these savings vehicles are a way to do better planning and to avoid all this debt that students are getting into.”

Melanie Plenda is an award-winning freelance journalist and mom based in Keene. Her work has appeared in The Atlantic.com, The Daily Beast, American Baby, and Parents.com among other media outlets. She’s also the project manager for the Granite State News Collaborative.

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HAP P FOR ALL AGES SATURDAY-SUNDAY, OCT. 5 AND 6; SATURDAY-MONDAY, OCT. 12-14

Pumpkin Festival CANDIA – Charmingfare Farm, Route 27. The kids will love the Pumpkin Festival games, including sack races, pumpkin spoon races and a pumpkin-rolling contest. Test your skills at the Round Bale Challenge or Cow Milking Contest.

Pumpkin art, tractor train rides, horse-drawn hay rides, pony rides. Admission: $22, children; 23 months and younger get in free. 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. 483-5623; www. visitthefarm.com

VARIOUS DATES IN OCTOBER

Corn Maze and pumpkin fun MEREDITH – Moulton Farm, 18 Quarry Road. Get lost in the maze! Admission to the corn maze is $7 per person ($5 for children 3-6; free under 3).

The last admission is one hour before the farm. Make sure to visit the pick-your-own-pumpkin patch. Free tractor rides to

28 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

and from the patch are available on Saturdays and Sundays from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. through Oct. 20. For more information, go to www.moultonfarm.com/ corn-maze.

FRIDAY, OCT. 11SUNDAY, OCT. 13

Great Pumpkin Festival MILFORD – The festival is celebrating 30 years in 2019. The annual Great Pumpkin festival is a fun-filled, family event that features the Pumpkin Fest Color Fun Run, beer, wine and spirits tasting; scarecrow making, pumpkin painting, a haunted trail, arts and crafts show, pumpkin lighting, giant pumpkin weigh-in, pumpkin catapult, live music, children’s activities, and pumpkin carving. For complete schedule, go to www.milfordpumpkin festival.org.

VARIOUS DATES IN OCTOBER

Corn mazes at Beech Hill Farm HOPKINTON – The 2019 Corn Maze is open every day (weather permitting) through Halloween at Beech Hill Farm & Ice Cream Barn from 11 a.m. to dusk. This year the theme is “Amazing Birds of Prey.”

The maze is approximately four acres and takes about 40 minutes to find all the answers. The cost for adults and children older than 3 is $6 for all three mazes. Each maze includes a brochure with a scavenger hunt. 223-0828; www.facebook.com/pg/beechhillfarmandicecreambarn

SATURDAY, OCT. 12

Pumpkin Fest SOMERSWORTH – Somersworth Plaza. This family event celebrates all things pumpkin.

Pumpkin carving, pumpkin painting, pumpkin catapult, pumpkin bowling, hay rides, scarecrow making, family photo shoot, live entertainment, and loads of pumpkin-themed games and more. Children are encouraged to wear their costumes and take part in the parade at the end of the day. Wrist bands are $12 per child, adults free only when assisting a child in activities. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. 817-9751; www. nhfestivals.org

P PENINGS

Spooky or not-so-scary, there’s something for everyone SATURDAY, OCT. 19 AND SUNDAY, OCT. 20 DATES THROUGH OCTOBER

Coppal House Farm and Corn Maze LEE – 118 North River Road.

Marvel at this agricultural feat of engineering as you make your way through living walls of corn more than 10 feet high. The corn maze will delight and challenge all ages. This year’s theme is the river otter; brush up on your river otter and bass knowledge for the fun mailbox trivia.

Check website for events held throughout the month. Public flashlight mazes in 2019 are Saturdays, Oct. 12 and 26. Night mazes are 7-9 p.m., $12 at the door ages 5 and older. Bring your own flashlight. Daytime corn maze admission prices are 13plus, $9; ages 5 and older, $7; free for children younger than 5.

Go to www.nhcornmaze.com for more times and dates. 659-3572

FRIDAY, OCT. 18 AND SATURDAY, OCT. 19

Pumpkin Festival 2019 LACONIA – Downtown Laconia.

Fun and activities for the entire family. Highlights include Pumpkin Festival beer garden, car show, duck derby, zombie walk, costume parade, kiddie rides and games, live music, pumpkin carving. Friday, 4 to 8 p.m.; Saturday, noon to 8 p.m. For complete schedule, go to www. nhpumpkinfestival.com.

Giant Pumpkin Weigh-off and Regatta GOFFSTOWN – Goffstown Village, Main Street. NH Giant Pumpkin Growers Association and the Goffstown Main Street Program join forces in hosting the 19th annual Giant Pumpkin Weigh-off and Regatta. Don’t miss this chance to see gargantuan gourds competing for prize money then get turned into boats and raced down the Piscataquog. For more information, go to www. goffstownmainstreet.org.

FRIDAY, OCT. 25 AND SATURDAY, OCT. 26

Participate in costume parades and try out the pumpkin scavenger hunt to receive a special prize. Admission: $11, adults and children; $9, seniors; free for children younger than 1 and museum members. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

742-2002; www.childrensmuseum.org

FRIDAYSUNDAY, OCT. 18-20 AND OCT. 25-27

Pumpkin Patch Express NORTH CONWAY – Conway Scenic Railroad, 38 Norcross Circle. This event travels to the “Pumpkin Patch” in Conway, where passengers are invited to get off the train and participate in activities. Each child can pick out his or her own pumpkin and enjoy some Trunk or Treat displays and barrel car rides.

Costumes are encouraged. Reservations also strongly encouraged. For more information on fares and departure times, call or go to the website. 356-5251; www.conwayscenic.com

Ghosts on the Banke PORTSMOUTH – Strawbery Banke, 14 Hancock St. Come and meet the Ghosts on the Banke at Strawbery Banke’s famous family-friendly Halloween celebration. Long-dead sea captains, 17th-century shopkeepers and wayward pirates haunt the streets and houses of Portsmouth’s oldest neighborhood as you trick-or-treat safely from house to historic house. Tickets: $8; children 1 and younger free.

5:30 to 8 p.m. www.strawberybanke.org; 433-1107

SATURDAY, OCT. 26

Not-So-Scary Spooktacular DOVER – Children’s Museum of New Hampshire, 6 Washington St. Head to the Museum for a Halloween event that focuses on fun! Enjoy the Cave Explorers Bat Cave, Dino Detective and One World Festival green screen exhibits. Meet the museum’s very own Wacky Scientist and check out his fantastical experiments, visit the Bat Cave to create crafts and take photos with a fun backdrop and props, get your face painted in the Muse Studio, do a hands-on science experiment and more.

SATURDAY-SUNDAY, OCT. 19-20, OCT. 26-27

Children’s Trick or Treat CANDIA – Charmingfare Farm, Route 27.

Charmingfare Farm’s Children’s Trick or Treat is perfect for little ghouls and boils who don’t wish to be frightened, but still want the excitement of wearing their favorite costume and having a fun-filled Halloween adventure.

This event is merry — not scary!

Special attractions feature candy stops. Go online to reserve your time. 483-5623; www. visitthefarm.com

MORE HALLOWEEN FUN ON PAGE 30.

www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

29

continued FOR OLDER KIDS AND ADULTS Fridays, Oct. 11, 18, 25; Saturdays, Oct. 12, 19, 26

Harvest of Haunts CANDIA – Charmingfare Farm, Route 27. The fields are waiting for all those who dare experience the harvesting. Travel by horse-drawn wagon or tractor train. Harvest of Haunts is spooky, but not terrifying. For ages 8 and older. Tickets: $29-$32. Go online for check-in times. 483-5623; www.visitthefarm.com

Friday-Sunday, Oct. 11-13; 18-20, Thursday- Sunday, Oct. 24-27

Sept. 20-22, 27-28; various dates in October; Nov. 1-2

Haunted Overload

Spooky World presents Nightmare New England

LEE – DeMeritt Hill Farm, 20 Orchard Way. Consistently ranked one of the top haunted attractions in the country.

Haunted Overload blends astounding handmade sets, gigantic monsters and spellbinding characters with spectacular sound and lighting to create a twisted, terrifying Halloween experience like no other. This haunted attraction is a pre-ticketed event, so buy your tickets early. Fright Nights Lite are Oct. 17 and 31. Tickets: $26; available at website.

For times and more information on day haunts, go to www.haunted overload.com

LITCHFIELD – Mel’s Funway Park, Route 3A. Nightmare New England is a massive 80-acre Halloween Scream Park. The scale and variety of the park offers something for even the boldest of Halloween fanatics, with five terrifying haunted attractions and multiple sideshow attractions. Don’t miss Lights Out on Nov. 9 to explore the park in the pitch dark.

Selected as one of America’s Top Haunts.

Prices and times vary. Not recommended for younger than age 13. Go to www. nightmarenewengland.com for details.

Various dates through October

Haunted Acres at Candia Springs

Sept. 27-28; weekends through October; Nov. 1

Fright Kingdom NASHUA – 12 Simon St. Five frightening attractions including Apocalypse Z and Bloodmare Manor. Don’t miss the Monster Midway featuring concessions, games, photo opportunities and entertainment. Fright Kingdom in the Dark …

A Night to Die For on Nov. 2 is the same Fright Kingdom experience but with a darker twist. Tickets are $25; upgrade to the Fright Pass at $32 to skip the wait and a get a ticket for the coffin ride. www.frightkingdom.com

30 www.parentingnh.com | october 2019

Sept. 21-22, 27-29; various dates in October

CANDIA – 446 Raymond Road. Five attractions, including ¼-mile nightmare walk. Maniac’s Midway area, food and 1,000-foot zip line (with ticket upgrade).

Open rain or shine. Free parking. Tickets online: $29. For more information, go to www.candiasprings.com/haunted-acres.

Screeemfest SALEM – Canobie Lake Park. Enjoy your favorite rides and venture into one of the five haunted houses.

Free parking. Be sure to check out the Rocktoberfest event listing online. Prices and times vary.

For more information, go to www.canobie.com.

Sept. 28; various dates in October

Ghoullog at the Cranmore NORTH CONWAY – Cranmore Mountain, 1 Skimobile Road. Enter 123 years of fear at the Ghoullog! This 50-minute haunt features more than 15,000 square-feet of indoor space with dark rooms, scary mazes and unknown places — plus an outdoor feature through the dark woods with lots of scares and screams. Will you be able to make it out unharmed? Don’t miss the Broken Skull Pub and Haunted Playground. Go online for ticket prices and hours. 1-800-SUN-N-SKI; www. theghoullog.com

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2019-08-22 3:53 PM

Put it in writing?

Some say learning cursive is necessary, while others say it’s in the past

BY JACQUELINE TOURVILLE

J

ohn Hancock’s oversized signature on the Declaration of Independence is arguably one of the most famous examples of cursive handwriting in our nation’s history.

In school, children are taught the story that Hancock signed his name with such a large flourish so that “King George could read it even without his spectacles on.”

But here’s something that some school kids are not being taught these days, and that’s cursive writing. If John Hancock had grown up in modern times, it’s reasonable to wonder whether he would still be able write his own name in cursive — or even read it.

Cursive writing in the classroom has been on a steep decline since Common Core, a national education initiative that details what K-12 students should know in English language arts and mathematics, was adopted in 2010. Common Core didn’t include cursive writing as an educational standard.

There is a lot to squeeze in to meet the rigorous learning goals of Common Core, and in many school districts in New Hampshire, cursive writing as a subject has largely been side-

lined. Instead, the emphasis has shifted to keyboarding and other tech-based communication tools. It’s up to each district in New Hampshire to decide if cursive will be part of its curriculum Danielle Silva is a mother of three from Nashua who believes that cursive handwriting is about much more than just putting pen to paper.

“What frustrates me about the loss of cursive in my kids’ day-to-day school lives is this view that cursive and keyboarding are basically the same…just one is done by hand and the other by a computer. I don’t agree with this. I think writing on paper lends itself to deeper thought and engagement with what they are learning,” she said. www.parentingnh.com

| OCTOBER 2019 33

Summer Camp is back at Gymnastics Village with half and full day options (9am-3pm)! Designed for boys and girls from 6 to 14, kids will participate Silva’s beliefs are backed by science. As neurophysiologists from in gymnastics rotations, fitness activities, Ninja Norway and France have found, different parts of the brain are stimChallenge obstacle courses, games, crafts, party ulated when writing letters on paper, rather than typing them on a apparatus like our inflatables, zip-line and more.

keyboard. The tactile practice of handwriting — of thinking of words

Registration for summer camps and recreational and then pushing a pen or pencil into a piece of paper to create those classes begins April 1st. Call 603.889.8092 words — appears to leave a stronger memory trace in the brain, makor visit gymnasticsvillage.com.

ing it easier to recall that information later.

Other MRI studies back up that the ability to write in cursive better activates areas in the brain involved in thinking, word rendering and language. And there’s more. Learning how to join letters in cursive’s continuous flow may be beneficial for dyslexic students because it integrates hand-eye coordination and turns words into single units instead of individual letters to decode.

Handwriting can also help enhance fine motor dexterity by engaging different muscles in the hand.

Alicia Brown, who started her teaching career in the Pelham School District and now lives and teaches in New York State, sees this research as compelling reasons why carving out time for cursive writing is still needed. “…Given this amazing research on cursive handwriting, it would so helpful for kids to use it as they work with the deluge of information they are presented with in a typical unit. Plus, when we look at original documents, which are often written in cursive, we need kids to be able to understand them, and that starts with being able to read cursive.”

Kate Maquette, a Seacoast mom, has a different perspective on cursive writing. She’s discovered that emphasizing keyboarding, instead of cursive, has become a source of inclusiveness for her child with a learning disability.

“Keyboarding has leveled the playing field for my child, and I am sure this is true for many other kids with dexterity and fine motor skill issues. Instead of worrying about handwriting, my child can focus on learning.”

Emily Ryder, another Seacoast mom, has other reasons for preferring that her kids learn keyboarding skills in school.

“Cursive writing is pretty, but beyond the elementary years, is it practical? When these kids grow up and get jobs, the boss won’t want a cursive written sales report. Our school only taught cursive in third grade. My kids are now in high school and there’s no need to make them feel guilty about not being handwriting experts.”

Nashua mom Wendy Green agrees that times have changed. But that doesn’t stop her from lamenting her son’s lack of penmanship skills.

“My son had to write his grandma a thank you note recently. I told him to write it in cursive and he just gave me a blank stare. My straight ‘A’ son couldn’t do it. He ended up print writing a very sweet note, but he could barely even sign his name. It was hard to watch.”

“And don’t even get me started on him not knowing where to place the stamp on the envelope,” she added.

Jacqueline Tourville is an award-winning children’s author who lives in southern Maine. Jacqueline has written for ParentingNH for more than 11 years and has won multiple awards from the Parenting Media Association.

34 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

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| OCTOBER 2019 35

TWEEN

US

S

T PAREN

Advice and tips on raising older kids If you’d like to participate in a future Tween Us Parents roundtable, email editor@parentingnh.com.

The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect the views of ParentingNH.

This month’s question:

Teen parties --

what are your rules for attending or hosting one?

COMPILED BY KATHLEEN PALMER

A

s fall and the winter holidays approach, your teen or tween may receive invitations to a few parties. Parents may watch in discomfort as trampoline parties and best-friends sleepovers give way to mixed-gender festivities. Even though we know this is the natural progression of things, the first party invitations may also “invite” stress upon parents.

What ground rules do you set for a party your child will be attending? What about a party at your place?

Our parents sound off here.

Larry W.

» AMHERST, AGE 40

Married father of two girls, ages 11 and 9

EAGLE EYE HOSTING. Last October, my 11-year-old daughter hosted her first boy/girl Halloween party. This was one of several firsts for us, but most significantly having the responsibility of keeping an eye on other people’s children to be sure they weren’t somewhere making out in our house. This was our number one rule, which I frequently reminded our guests — ­ much to the complete embarrassment of our daughter. I attended enough parties in junior high to remember the buzz the following Monday at school about who kissed who and who

36 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

Our panel: Larry W., Amherst Melissa R.,Windham Michelle M., Nashua Katheen P., Nashua

got to second base before curfew. While I understand this is an adolescent rite of passage, we were determined not to be the parents who watched TV in their bedroom while a party was going on in our house.

The party mainly took place on the first floor, with games in the basement. I called in some reinforcements and had some friends at the house as extra sets of eyes and to help to facilitate games — making sure there was an adult on both floors, not to hover over them, but to just be a presence in the room. Much to my pleasant surprise, it didn’t appear making out was on anyone’s radar. These kids were still whispering to friends in corners and throwing candy at the opposite sex.

I hear over and over again how this generation is growing up too quickly and they’re exposed to so much at younger and younger ages. I never considered that those awkward pre-teen feelings persist in spite of overexposure to technology and social media. I’m thankful they do.

Melissa R.

» WINDHAM, AGE 44

Stay-at-home married mom of three: 14-year-old twin boys, 10-year-old girl

KNOW THE PARENTS. I’m coming at this one with the perspective of being right on the cusp of it. My twin boys are 14, so they have just started attending parties with other teens. And let’s face it — the real concern is mixed parties with other teens, although there’s plenty of trouble a group of boys can get into all by themselves.

So the main ground rule we have established at this point is that parents must be home, and that needs to be verified either by me or my husband getting in touch with them directly or physically getting out of the car when we drop them off to lay eyes on and speak to them. We also only allow them to attend parties where we at least know the parents by reputation.

We have established a “call us anytime, no questions asked” policy, and I really hope that we can stand by it. [I wouldn’t normally] recommend works of fiction in an advice column, but in this case the book “Night Road” by Kristin Hannah is so relevant that I’m making an exception. I read it three years ago and it has stayed with me as far as this issue goes. I firmly believe that it should be required reading for all parents who have children that are or are about to be eligible to drive.

At the end of the day, it sounds cliche but you really do have to cross your fingers and hope that you raised them right. It helps that my boys are athletes and our town has a zero-tolerance policy; if a kid on the team is even caught at a party with drinking or drugs, regardless of whether they are participating or not, they are automatically off the team. That’s a huge deterrent, as are the numerous apps out there that make it more likely than not that they will be caught. But teens are going to be teens. And we have to let them be, to some extent. So we do what we can, and pray at the end of the day that it’s enough.

Kathleen P.

» NASHUA, AGE 53

Single mom of a 13-year-old daughter

TRANSPARENCY IS KEY. For me, when my daughter is inevitably invited to a boy/girl party, I will be unapologetically gathering as much data as possible ahead of time. I will text and/or call the parent(s); I will hear firsthand that at least one adult will be home the entirety of the party; I will know exactly what the itinerary is for the event — who, what, where, and duration. I will confirm with the parent throwing the party the number of kids and the boy/girl ratio.

I don’t feel that I qualify as a “helicopter parent.” However, I have been constantly amazed over the years at how many parents have left their kids off in my driveway, never meeting or talking to me, or checking out my home. That won’t be happening with my kid.

If we had a mixed party at our house, the rule would be open doors everywhere, and respecting my house, our rules and each other.

And of course, we will always have the “call me anytime and I will come get you” rule, until I’m so old they take my driver’s license away.

Michelle M.

» NASHUA, AGE 55

Married, working mom of “five amazing young adults”

HOLD ON LOOSELY. Oh, parties! Kids want them, parents fear them. I have had a variety of experiences with this topic and it boils down to some pretty simple concepts.

If your kid doesn’t have good grades, is in trouble a lot, is acting like an at-risk youth — DON’T leave town! There will be a party, your neighbors will be angry and everyone could be in trouble. I don’t suggest throwing parties or having a bunch of people over for at-risk kids. Explain this to your child: “I would love to give you and your friends space to hang out, but I have to be able to trust you first and currently I don’t.” That is a perfectly reasonable thing to say.

If you have a great kid who wants to have people over and it is happening frequently — give them some space!

Make it OK to hang at your house. Watch for kids leaving for “a drive” or “to grab something” — that can mean they are leaving to smoke things they shouldn’t. Mostly, though, evaluate the guests. Are they basically good kids, too? Do they just need a place to be kids? Do you know or have you spoken to the parents of the kids that are around a lot? You should. Be sure everyone is on the same page and be sure your guests have permission to be at your home.

It is tempting to let a bunch of great kids that you have known for years “sneak” beer into your home, especially if you are providing them space. Don’t do it. Or be sure that every parent of every kid there knows what they are up to. I faced this primarily with young college kids, and mostly I looked the other way, so long as I had the car keys and I knew the kids and parents involved.

Allow innocent fun. It’s tempting to try to tame the teenager. I don’t recommend it. Let them have a food fight, or throw cake at the birthday girl. Give them access to a fire pit and some marshmallows.

Remember when you were young? You just wanted space to hang. Provide it and get to know your kid’s friends. You will know when and how to trust.

You are preparing your kids for college, right? Well there will be parties and drinking and friends and fun. Let them practice now. Help them temper their urges by encouraging them to attend and have gatherings AND get their work done at school and at home while keeping their grades up. Don’t always say no to Wednesday night, but make it clear that you expect that child to be up and ready on time for school with homework done. When they fail — and they will at least once — don’t feel sorry for the sleepy person. Make it clear this is the price of Wednesday night fun, so they have practice saying “no” before it’s a frat party every night.

Your amazing kid is going to do a few things that you can count on. He/she will try marijuana and might like it; he/she will drink; parties will happen and can get out of control.

Your job is to teach your child when “no” is a good idea, that responsibilities are not to be neglected for a good time, and that without moderation, there is big trouble. www.parentingnh.com

| OCTOBER 2019 37

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SENIOR YEAR SENTIMENTS I AM UPSET THAT LIFE AS WE KNOW IT IS COMING TO AN END — WHO’S WITH ME?

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BY BILL BURKE In a little more than eight months the life we’ve known for the past 17 years will be over.

Here are two facts that might help that sentence make sense: 1. Our daughter is in the first quarter of her senior year of high school, which means by this time next year — depending on where her aspirations take her — she’ll very likely be sitting in a dorm room instead of our living room.

2. Maybe I’m being a little dramatic.

Still, if you were to poll every single person in our house who is not my daughter about the demise of life as we’ve known it, you’d find that I seem to be the only one rather distressed about it. The routines we’ve known since September 2002 will end, and apparently no one is thinking about this but me.

“Next June, she’ll graduate, and it’s over,” I told my wife recently. “All those questions we had when she was born — what do you think she’ll be like? What will she want to be when she grows up? We’ll have all those answers and it will all be over. Done.”

She looked at me like I was a crazy person.

“You don’t think of things in those terms, do you?”

She does not. She also reminded me that when our kid does pick a college, there will still be these inventions called phones and texts and email and FaceTime.

Still, of the three people in our household, one is completely nonplussed by the imminent finality of things, one is rather plussed indeed, and the third one is just kind of living it, so she has no frame of reference. Technically, the other one’s a dog and he doesn’t get a vote.

The second part of the conversation went like this: “I guess it’s just the next phase of life.” And it is. When my wife was about to give birth, our neighbor explained that the life we had known up to that point was over, and now we would be living a new one. She was right, and it’s been a good one — which is why I’d rather just maintain the status quo: more first day of school pictures, more school concerts, more getting her lunch ready and more family trips to Walt Disney World.

Her mom reminded me that a lot of those things will remain unchanged. There will be plenty of pictures and we will go to Walt Disney World again, because offspring or no, I’m getting in line for the new Star Wars land. We will (very likely) retire from making her lunch every day, though, so it’s not all heart-wrenching.

Here’s to hoping her senior year goes by very slowly, and she enjoys every moment. Because just yesterday it was 1985 and I was in her shoes — except they were high-top Reeboks paired with some sweet acid-washed jeans.

Maybe it is best things are the way they are.

Bill Burke is a writer who should probably stop thinking of things in these terms.

He lives in southern New Hampshire with his much more pragmatic wife and daughter. He is also Managing Editor of Custom Publications for McLean Communications.

38 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

house calls CONCUSSIONS IN CHILDREN WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT HEAD INJURIES AND HOW WE TREAT THEM IS CONSTANTLY EVOLVING

BY KEITH LOUD, MD, MSC In 2014, there were over 837,000 traumatic brain injuries (TBI) among children, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Concussion is the most common form of TBI and can result from a fall, a car accident that causes whiplash or a blow to the head during a contact sport.

When we look at concussion rates in youth sports, football is still at the top. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children should not body check in hockey until age 15, but it doesn’t make agerelated recommendations for football. I personally advise waiting until high school to play tackle football.

For the early part of my career as a pediatrician, concussions were treated as minor injuries. But fortunately the first two International Consensus Statements on Concussion in Sport in 2001 and 2004 changed our approach. We stopped grading concussions as level 1, 2, or 3, and started treating each child with a concussion as an individual, and letting them heal on their own terms. We also therefore debunked the “three-strike rule”— the notion that your child can no longer play their chosen sport after sustaining three concussions. If each concussion has healed completely, your child can return to their sport or activity.

At the same time, we began prescribing “cocooning”— three to four days of rest in a dark room with no screens (phones, laptops or television).

Children were kept out of school and activities were restricted, often for several weeks, because it was thought the concussion would heal faster.

However, more recent research shows that we have been overly cautious in managing concussion patients, ultimately slowing their recovery time.

We have learned that children no longer need to be kept out of school for two to three weeks, but may return with appropriate modifications two or three days after the concussion. They may also resume light physical activity, like brisk walks, that won’t worsen their symptoms within two to three days.

What has not changed is that children should never return to sports on the same day they sustain a suspected concussion. They need to be cleared by a health care professional like a doctor, nurse practitioner, or certified athletic trainer before resuming strenuous physical activity.

While treatment has changed and concussions are not the devastating injury that has caused anxiety in many families, they are still serious. In most cases, if managed properly, concussions will resolve over time and your child will have no lingering or long-term effects.

To be safe, though, remind your child to always wear a helmet for sports where one is required and while riding a bike, skateboarding and skiing.

Learn more about Dartmouth-Hitchcock’s Sports Concussion program, or make an appointment at www.dartmouth-hitchcock.org/ortho/ sports-concussion-program.html.

TOGETHER WE Explore!

Follow the new adventures of a feisty and resourceful Alaska Native girl. Don’t miss Molly of Denali!

Keith Loud, MD, MSc, is the Physician-in-Chief, and an adolescent sports medicine specialist at the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock (CHaD).

A clarification for the August 2019 House Calls column about bike safety: While adults should ride on the road and approved bike pathways, it is not illegal, and it is in fact recommended that young and unskilled riders, especially 13 and younger, who do not have the skills to ride on the road, use the sidewalk unless specifically prohibited by local ordinances.

SPONSORED BY

nhpbs.org/kids

www.parentingnh.com

| OCTOBER 2019 39

never a dull moment ‘WHY ARE YOU SO WEIRD?!’

OR, HOW I AM APPARENTLY BREATHING IN AN EMBARRASSING WAY

BY KATHLEEN PALMER “Seriously! Why are you like this?” my child wailed, as I committed yet another transgression.

I commit many of them, all day, every day. Or so I’m told. One time, I absentmindedly made a noise. Gosh! I was informed that it was highly annoying. Another time, I quoted the lyrics to a Lizzo song instead of asking her a study question, as I’d been asked to do. Another time, I had THAT look on my face.

Sometimes I just stand stock-still and remain silent. As we all learned from the Jurassic Park franchise, if you do this sometimes you can elude the blood-thirsty dinosaurs that are hunting for you with the white-hot rage of a thousand suns. Or a teenager.

I don’t know when my 13-year-old lost her sense of humor about me. I like to blame everything on her cell phone, though. She used to think I was hilarious. She loved my jokes, my voices and impressions, my singing, my overall goofiness. But when I was no longer her primary source of entertainment, I was suddenly persona non funny. But hey, I’m sure that stranger’s TikTok video is completely hilarious.

She insists I am not funny and none of her friends like me and they all think I’m weird. She doesn’t like when I’m chipper and chatty; she doesn’t like when I’m quiet and crabby. She just doesn’t LIKE. She has complained about what I say, what I don’t say, what I do, what I don’t do. She doesn’t like it when I’m laid off; she doesn’t like it when I work seven days a week. She complains that I ignore her; she complains I won’t leave her alone.

Recently at her inaugural high school cross-country race, I was cheering her on and when she ran past, she glared at me and said, “STOP.” I have a great photo of her glaring at me for posterity.

My friends further down the line on this parenting thing passionately insist that this phase will be exactly that, and eventually she will not roll her eyes at every exhalation I make.

Until then, I hunker down and vacillate between trying to avoid her wrath and resenting it so much that I actively try to be weird. Like the Lizzo lyrics. If she’s going to be angry at me, I might as well have a good time.

I will continue to talk to and make jokes to strangers at the supermarket. I will sing too loud in the car. I’ll try to make my friends laugh on Facebook with my foibles. And someday in the hopefully soon future, my daughter will be able to relax her shoulders down from her ears and laugh along with me.

But for now, I’m the weird mom.

Kathleen Palmer is an award-winning editor and journalist, marketing/communications content writer and occasional comedic actress. Nothing makes her happier than making people laugh. She is a single mom to a teenager, so naturally she enjoys a glass of wine, or two.

40 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

ParentingNH will honor the Granite State’s most dedicated and talented teachers in its December issue.

Nominate an inspirational educator to be recognized in PNH ’s third annual Top Teachers issue.

Nomination period is Oct. 1 to 31.

Find the online nomination form at

www.parentingnh.com.

www.parentingnh.com

| OCTOBER 2019 41

out & about COMPILED BY MELANIE HITCHCOCK

14th annual CHaD HERO 20 SUNDAY HANOVER — Dartmouth College Green. Thousands of real-life superheroes will gather for the annual CHaD HERO. The fundraiser for Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock features races and activities that support programs and kids at New Hampshire’s only children’s hospital. Starting in 2006 as a halfmarathon run, it has grown to include a competitive 5K run and walk, one-mile family fun run, 25 or 50-mile bike ride, and a 5-mile hike. Youngsters can participate in Cam’s Course, a one-mile circuit promoting fitness and philanthropy. While the heroes are on the course, spectators can take in the HERO festival on the Green, including food vendors, KidZone with mechanical animal rides, face painting, live entertainment and more. Each year, a CHaD kid is selected as the ambassador to the HERO. This year’s Kid HERO is Finn Webster, a plucky three-year-old from Hanover. Finn is a patient at CHaD due to complications related to Down syndrome.

CHaD patient Finn Webster is this year’s Kid HERO, the official patient ambassador to the 14th annual CHaD HERO. COURTESY PHOTO

Check out the full event schedule at www.chadhero.org.

THE WIZARD OF OZ

TALE TRAIL

APPLEFEST

THROUGH OCT. 6

DAILY THROUGH NOV. 3

5-6 SATURDAY-SUNDAY

MANCHESTER – Palace Theatre, 80 Hanover St. We’re off to see the Wizard! This iconic masterpiece, developed from the popular MGM screenplay, contains all your favorite characters and beloved songs from the Oscar-winning movie score, such as “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” and “We’re Off To See The Wizard.” Follow Dorothy and Toto over the rainbow to Oz in this rollicking musical adventure fit for the whole family. Tickets: $25-$46.

Go to website for show times.

668-5588; www.palacetheatre. org

CANTERBURY – Petals in the Pines, 126 Baptist Road. The final Tale Trail is the book, “Leaf Man,” a creative look at autumn leaves and what they become when assembled together. Follow the story on signs along the woodland trails, reading and gathering fallen leaves as you go. The Tale Trail leads you to the Nature Explore Outdoor Classroom, to learn creative ways to display your leaves — making your own Leaf Man to take home. $5 per child, infants free. Visitors can walk the self-guided Tale Trails from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. 783-0220; www.petalsinthepines.com

NASHUA – Sullivan Farm, 70 Coburn Ave. Applefest is a fun, outdoor, family event that includes games and activities for all ages, apple picking, scarecrow-making, face painting, hay rides, pumpkin painting and pony rides. Apple pies, ice cream, hamburgers, hot dogs, French fries, and more food will be available. Rain or shine.

Applefest is a fundraiser that supports The Salvation Army of Nashua. Tickets for food and activities are available at $1 per ticket. 889-5151

42 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

WARNER FALL FOLIAGE FESTIVAL 11-13 FRIDAY-SUNDAY WARNER – Main Street. Since 1947, the people of Warner have come together at the height of autumn color to host the Warner Fall Foliage Festival. The present day festival includes crafts, parades, road races, country breakfasts and dinners, music and entertainment, oxen pull, woodmen’s contest, farmers market, midway and more.

Friday, 6-10 p.m.; Saturday, 9 a.m. - 10 p.m.; Sunday, 9 a.m. - 7 p.m. Admission is free; parking available for $5. www.wfff.org

Fall & Children’s Authors Festival: Books, handmade crafts, heritage breeds and more.

OX-CART MAN COURTESY PHOTO. SILVER FOX RABBIT COURTESY OF KERFLUFFLEFIBERFARM. COM

family-friendly event for ages 4 and older and is not intended to be scary. Rain or shine. Preregistration for a specific day and time slot is required. 224-9909; www.nhaudubon.org

SPIRIT ENCOUNTERS OCT. 18, 19, 25 OR 27

Fall & Children’s Book Festival 12 SATURDAY PORTSMOUTH — Strawbery Banke Museum, 14 Hancock St. Strawbery Banke’s Fall Festival showcases traditional New England handmade crafts, heritage breed and farm animal demonstrations and the museum’s heirloom gardens and seed-saving program. The event also incorporates the 5th annual Children’s Book Festival, held in the TYCO Visitors Center, which features more than 20 local authors and illustrators, celebrating the 40th anniversary of Donald Hall’s “Ox-Cart Man.” Admission: Adults, $19.50; children under 17 admitted free thanks to a grant from Berwick Academy. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. (Book festival ends at 2 p.m.) www.strawberybanke.org

30TH ANNUAL WHEB CHILI COOK-OFF

ENCHANTED FOREST

13 SUNDAY

CONCORD – McLane Center, 84 Silk Farm Road. Follow the enchanted trail into the nighttime forest. Encounter larger-than-life creatures, plants and characters as they perform skits about mysterious activities in nature.

Gather around a campfire for engaging stories. The trail tour lasts about an hour, but plan to also enjoy indoor activities, live animals, face painting, games, raffle and refreshments. This is a

PORTSMOUTH – Strawbery Banke. Every October, folks enjoy generous samplings from some of the Seacoast’s best restaurants and experience one of the greatest Chili Cook-Off events around. Sample the finest and fieriest chili then cast your vote for the People’s Choice. Admission: $7-$15. 11:30 a.m. www. prescottpark.org

18-19 FRIDAYSATURDAY

CANTERBURY – Canterbury Shaker Village, 288 Shaker Road.

Today, we enjoy telling ghost stories, reveling in a well-timed fright or harrowing tale. Few of us still believe in the power of the spiritual world, the world known to the Shakers as “the Summerland.” To the Shakers, however, the spiritual world was an important part of community life. Learn about the growth of spiritualism as part of Shaker religion and hear first-hand accounts of otherworldly Shaker encounters on this 60-75 minute tour. Tours limited to 15 people. Suggested for ages 12+. Tickets: Adults, $15; ages 6-17, $7.50.Tours at 6:30 and 7 p.m. www.shakers.org

“friend.” For ages 7+. Admission: $8; free for members. 10 to 11:30 a.m. www.prescottfarm.org

NIGHT AT THE BOOZEUM 25 FRIDAY DOVER – Children’s Museum of New Hampshire, 6 Washington Road. The museum will throw open its doors for grown-ups 21+ for a night of BOOzy fun. This October you can do a spooky science experiment, a creepy craft, all while enjoying drinks so delicious it’s scary. Costumes are encouraged but not required.

Enjoy a cash bar, refreshments and a chance to leave an impression in a giant pin screen, or play a tune on a wall-towall Music Matrix. Must have valid ID. Tickets: $12 in advance; $15 at the door. 7 to 9 p.m. www.childrensmuseum.org

OUR BIG BACKYARD SERIES: CREEPY CRAWLY MYTH BUSTERS 19 SATURDAY LACONIA -- Prescott Farm Environmental Education Center, 928 White Oaks Road. Bats, spiders and other so-called “creepy crawlies” often get a bad rap, but did you know that these critters all play a vital role in our ecosystem? Discover more about them and change your view of them from “foe” to

www.parentingnh.com

| OCTOBER 2019 43

RAISE A GLASS AND OOMPAH YOUR WAY THROUGH OCTOBER

time out

BY MELANIE HITCHCOCK

O

ctober is best known for Halloween, haunted houses, trick or treating, pumpkin festivals and football. But you’ll also find a number of beer festivals and Oktoberfests on the calendar this month. While many of these events are family-friendly and offer activities for the kids, these festivals are a great opportunity to meet up with a group of friends for a day of Stein-hoisting adult fun.

8th annual Powder Keg Beer & Chili Festival

Swasey Parkway • Exeter www.powderkegbeerfest. com Saturday, Oct. 5, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. • Tickets: $35/$17 designated driver Beer and chili are a perfect pairing, and you’ll find both in Exeter. Sample from more than 65 breweries and dig in to some of the best chili around.

2nd annual Oktoberfest

Boys & Girls Club of Greater Derry 40 East Derry Road • Derry www.beerfests.com Saturday, Oct. 5, noon to 6 p.m. • Admission: $8 (VIP $30) Enjoy German beer, food trucks, a DJ and live music, all while helping local causes. All proceeds from the event hosted by the Derry Village Rotary Club will benefit Derryarea charities. You won’t want to miss Oktoberfest-themed contests including a wife-carrying contest, keg toss and stein hoist.

44 www.parentingnh.com | OCTOBER 2019

White Mountain Oktoberfest

22nd annual Oktoberfest

Saturday-Sunday, Oct. 1213; 11 a.m. to 5 p.m • free admission

Saturday Oct. 12, noon to 6 p.m.; Sunday, Oct. 13, noon to 5 p.m. • Admission: $21

Loon Mountain Resort • Lincoln www.loonmtn.com

Get a taste of the Bavarian Alps during this two-day festival at Loon Mountain.

You’ll be entertained by an Oompah band all weekend long. Join in the keg toss and stein-hoisting contest, and be sure to visit the indoor/outdoor beer garden. This is a great festival to head to if you want to take in the best of the fall foliage season.

Attitash Mountain Resort • Bartlett www.attitash.com

The two-day event features traditional Bavarian music from the world-renowned King Ludwig’s Band, authentic German fare, as well as a Biergarten featuring 20 different local and regional breweries serving a host of seasonal beers and ciders.

11th annual NH Brewfest

Cisco Brewers Portsmouth 35 Corporate Drive • Portsmouth www.nhbrewfest.com Saturday, Oct. 12, noon to 8 p.m. • Admission: $55 (VIP)/$40/$15 designated driver Held on the grounds of Cisco Brewers Portsmouth, formerly Redhook Ale Brewery, this festival features more than 150 beers, live music and entertainment. The event is a fundraiser for the Prescott Parks Art Festival. Choose from three sessions, including the VIP session at noon, which gains you an extra hour of sampling.

We’re always here for those can’t wait moments.

Open 7 Days a Week | 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.

603.673.5623 BestUrgentCareNH.org

MANY HEROES: ONE MISSION

RUN • WALK • HIKE • BIKE • VIRTUAL • VOLUNTEER

October 20, 2019 • Hanover, NH Register, volunteer or donate at CHaDHERO.ORG