Issue 3 Virginity Spread

Virginity

Girls’ View on V irginity

sara shant

z | staff writ

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There’s no doubt about it does and girls — guys and mean everything to m e, and w still is, ar e very different. knew it was one of my best friend as, S u re th s. ere ca ri are the obvio red about m ght because I knew I us physica differences lidifferences, but the re l just looking toe as a person and wasnhe al ex e in the way plain exac me for sex. It’s hard ’t s they thin Most g just knew w tly, but at that momen to burden. Theyuys view virginity as k. whoever sco treat sex as a game a that it was ri ith every part of my mint, I ght.” d, about the so res more wins, who ca — “I have ab re re s s y so o u lu may get on te quest for vic your about when I lost it or ly no regrets tory wh the senior sa In contrast, . id. “Of all o I lost it to,” many girls m virginity as em the amaz o ri th es I ink because you something special, anof one of the beshave with him, it’s by ing far t.” are careful abcan only lose it once, th d ey hav Many girls who out who they ab ing sex give it to stain fr Accord Foundation ing to the Kaiser Fam. found the rigdo so because they hav om en’t U il h .S t y g . u Teen Sexual Fact Sheet, “I’m waitin y yet. ly Active 4 5 p g er fo ce r n to the girls reported — having sexuf high school to not like a silly fling o right person in 2003. al intercours lo r ‘boyfriend se it to , but e a lo ’ ng term, seri someone who I am in Every girl ous relation for either en has her own reas who know ship w from sex. M gaging in or abstainons and who I’ s everything about ith, m an me, in g y co g m ir ls who do ch p have sex do oose to around,” another se letely comfortable so b ec au n se io someone they r sa thin th love and trusteir partner is sch k I’ll ever meet that p id. “I don’t erson in hig ool though.” .

“When I lost h my virginity, a spur of the G ir ls it we did it, I moment thing, but befwas consequencealso worry about s that go alo th to lose it to hknew that I was ready ore sex. ng with havin e im g ,” a senior said. “He m “The only eant ti m e I and still is ready to think someo when they’r lose their virginity ne e consequence ready to accept this n.

“You may s,” the other senior saide their ow eels n fe o it e f k have sex, bu el physically ready to. ma s y e ta g th la t e a n s B father or a t are you ready to be becau importa lf a m e have sext their true love, that it is s r u it’ll happen other? No one thinks yo to them unti have me n’t think high not to placen to feel l it do Although ev but I dos are mature in a positio to having ery girl’s opes.” o n r se in in le inion x is d d schoo to be in love pressure consensus is ifferent, the general id. ugh a o t s n e th e o g at .

H x b t ” ec e s I ause never get a se ool, marry.” urity ring is noat high sch many, this cond first timyou can “When h someone, p tching th A g lu ir e e c e, most it ls o , d c r T a w d h o o o d m ld f lly o lve She sto nd wrapped the driving until they fi n to their virginity n was eligious invo him that I reaand decide io e is n a c o b e e d r r n r ll e e h , te n a es som abstinence, is worthy. d a guy they think the silv has I lue my puritye, the around based o s mak that a v m ti e e securely To many teenst to chooseer a daily m in e th th doctr ed most of eady knows,” finger. ould be ju e but rath of how much es. luenc v f li in ir also v e w y alr t r ti c th e a this decor ful remind ke could affe ghout s been a gu lagtas said. “I ntrol u o r th r o a a anothe to their color d one mista life.

“God h ecision, as B ow how to c n’t let n d o k d y I m addition f bracelets any, someone’s elieve sex ,” f d o n ts part y paren aid. myself, a et put into a “I b e with love, array o orn every da le s ll as m e w m ould self g w o o r c ic s io ring en my ation where I w ior N ing should for fun,” jun s gtas e n b la a ju B ’s r it u o sit “It’ o.’” er, but f s her purity r r, not just said.

“Howev an extremely have to say ‘n the large ny Ho derstandable f , r Balagta ts her hono o n o in f e io G r mo But, decis un the high represen d pride. totally ople not toe ersonal I chose to percentage of opulation p g n in a r e , g p h ia p fait ce urity ally for t marr y, because abstinen to school “My p liter k abou h school differentlit’s in e g th in ls d d e d e n le e f a c p ig o r h s t t o I f a a e g th th m ly g in t e tru feels s, bu urity to versus b parents.” s durin Balagtas lace to judge. y means pway from drug s relationship portant that o h m w y p b r e e it m h t judge so I stay a ohol as well a,” think it’s im someone is Unlike ss sincere no “I try not to their n e lc o f s s a r o ’s le r it al l pe and intercou may fee this promise them because Balagtas e potenti e the sexual s said. “Som t with has th use material lt e t f u o ,” pe ab ice they the just ho ex Balagta call it straigh t being spo ir cho . se e I u “ in a th c e b s y lo d b alagtas said e having people ut it means a a sometime pressure ’r B they at th , edge, b me than just x future.” is theyh someone t it’s l ts e n e e f r it a p e t e to tha wit Som d tha l that more believe that s d believes t for someone care about an st a labe n label. I eally special an d purity is ju on but don’t e ta c r n o imp ut e importa safe.” is just r l. I understan people piously. realize thcision and to to to a n le t o r p n s e r a s e pe peo I take “Some of this d eople w why p at our age, but e y can e th t a have sexlly want to shar I believe th persona h the person that wit

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Mary Carmen Gonzalez | Photo Editor

Guys’ Vi

ew on V irginity

Vi majorit rginity and JAY HUE mesh y, those two guys. To a Y | STAFF t o WRITER w v g a o e st re ther. W rds jus them, a t c l h l o d y on’t h a r envisio nsidering o could d to withou t my da keep my fam second n something the fact tha blame d bei ily to t guys s? sexual “ I every s happen don’t want ng around.” gether Truth b e v e t h e told, t n lif with f t e ahea o me. I still e same thin g h thinks it the stereohere are som d of m w a e s e and ave a lot of to te it all not hav about sex c type of one guys my I b d y o n h his virg e reservationonstantly and who dec Another Maving sex.” ’t want to i s when inity. s C jun it comedoes influeion to wa “I it wa ior said h s to nced b just not’s not a val a y d v u t h i e ce. is bro s greatly is in my “I thin religious,” ther ’s l i f becaus k everyone a sophomor e, I’m my “One t h e e it inc i s n g reases hould hav said. ‘ne brother Th desire e stereotype life expectan e sex somver have sex said, with eo Some for sex is o of guys and cy.” love.’ ne you don ANGELA KIM | COPY ED t n e t l e h y n ’t e a ITOR i I partiall ge guy r so t was virgini m y t s y e t j w t r ust hing th ue. w ho val they en and belie at stuc u ith me.”

“Don’t have sex in h k you’re rebellious.” they ha gage in sex s ve their firse their school, that’s the best hig engaging in sex again, t time hould b ve stro F way o The student stated that l l o w not n e to g feelin i get with a n pre b which to her, seemed like gna “It me g nt r or o get t she her ’s sim ply girl gs for. wan ans a l ted h STD to s.” “tak virgini i s Students hea e starting on a clean slate. ad first ti o a risk.” variation of this advicer ata me wa vice, his it’s onl ty,” an MC st to me to ke “The reason wh “I g like s i {sex r } bec l y leas e e w aus f t n p onc e it’s riend e in the course of ith his chose to engage in sex ywasI my the righ something ior said. “ fun to sne o ak out f y ,” the she ir e hig said. h school careers. a I I want a because I was curious,” the t perso “And it shows that bon to shar think reg r. He said the lmost a n.”

While the majority d To student said. “It relieve rets af e with h you e hav e h wit h a tha of t someth an MC j per d stud son ents follow .” no stress, like family issues.”d it for th ter experi She addressed the advice—there are alwthis e e n even ing that nee unior, virgin c f As she made i i r n ays s g he t ti fact that some girls view those who choose to lose conscious decision toa premar to the poinds to be trea ity is her knew that his me because non -vir gin s as the “co ir ol” virg ital sex or s inity. t of feeling were st become sexually acti “naughty,” but expressed not haured, . s for Some “I are she explains that she nevve, bored.

“We wrong. ving tha t bei ng er sex ual until y believe you Som ly acti e ve find love. Som are is ere bot discounted virginity. but the not a humongous feat. h nervo pressured. Some are mee rely f e “Becauou’re marrie shouldn’t ha e “If l i you n k u lose g n “It’s nothing s your curious. For one student at ut virginity to the wro you sh se it’s somed,” the junio ve sex lovew she was r was mutual. , glamour. It’s the factabo ng MC, her reasons for losi ould sa r said. ight be e her a I t tha h t per i son n , it’s g ng bas ically like you have the freedom to do special cause I her virginity were a mixture her. W nd really The se ve.” losi ng you ,” t she h said. what you want,” the student at re nior sa c e d a mor of curiosity and desire. if you lose that, then “An lations ’re in a mare about i said. “You shouldn’t car your hip.”

“I’m a total pervert, virgini e indirect r d his mom e e a life n is i like n me what other people gful ssed so sex is always on my k.

You can’t get it back. Itup. and his ty. He said thole in savinplayed wh As for the It would mean a lot thin is mind,” she said. “Last yea mo re val uab le.” inciden mom when h at his dad le g his tha o are both v junior and se r to you and your future and the year before that, i t e f n t r t i g w She w t o h i h exp r a n a I i lain e m s hus s what ed band if you’re still a him tre t guess all the sexual have s “right” gi s, they agre non-virginity does havetha set th little, and th asur es virgin. But losing it, there’s r its get you thinking! Thenjokmy con s.

“My ming his virgine foundation at someontrong feelingl is one thee rea l no difference…y boyfriend said ‘let’s hav of re y ity e s o young “Sometimes, e just become more sexualou people st of th they’d want for and is age,” h m had me . sex.’ But we waited a littl ly know about your sexual eir life e, t e said. at a r o ma ture .” s p the e n sur with. e, we had sex.” nd the They b “She h eally acti vity ,” she said . “An Another MC stud ad to w elieve treasur The student explained they tend to use it againstd t saw sex in a different lighent ork that her reasons weren’t all t. you away we that they oheir virginity , bec aus e mo , After being raped nl about lust. She found is hen the all that they want is stly a member of her extendby sex time is y want to gi a her sexual activity wasthat ed bec aus ve e the right. y a kno fam w you’ve ily at seven, she found sort of “rebellion.” had it before.”

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She also noted that e people lose their virgsom inity as retaliation against the ir religion.

“You get sick of everybody saying ‘oh it hurts’ or like ‘you need, to keep it,’” she said. “It’s not really a big deal. Hones tly, there was a review tha if you have a purity ringt you’re 17% more like break that promise ly to just because

FF W E | STA T N A M

1970s “It was like a puritan ethic at my school. Having sex was very frowned upon and the girls who did were labeled accordingly.”

- an MC grandparent

it harder to go back to sex.

“It took me a while,” she said. “I was nervou s, because after that happened, I was scarred {by the experience.} But then I guess I realized tha you can’t always dwell ont the past.”

In high school, she started

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“Sometimes it makes me mad when people say they want to lose their virginity. You don’t wan to lose it if you’re nott steady.”

Today “To me it seems like people don’t care so much now. It mostly depends on on who you are friends with. It can go from extremes like hooking up every weekend at a party or saving yourself till marriage.”

- an MC junior

1990s “You weren’t really expected to leave high school as a virgin but you couldn’t exactly be sleeping around with everyone without being noticed.”

- an MC parent

Early 2000s “Most of my friends said they’d wait till they found the right person. And there were several girls that were already sexually active. They were all pretty much viewed in a negative way and guys admitted the only reason they date those girls was because they were easy.”

- an RB alumnus