Me & Mine Magazine Winter 2011

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Winter 2011

How to Squeeze in more Exercise The Pregnancy Test is Positive Now what do I do?

40 Fabulous

To Text or Not To Text


meet Martha

What is your favorite thing to do together?

Preventive Dentistry

for Infants and Children

Kimberly D. Thiel, D.D.S. Yuba City’s

Premier Pediatric Dentist

• Learn how to care for your infant’s teeth and prevent cavities • Gain important information about achieving optimum oral health • The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommends a dental visit by age 1 Now offering Early Orthodontics Ask about our program for 2 year olds 1045 Live Oak Blvd, Suite B Yuba City, CA 95991 (530) 755-0571

please visit: www.KimberlyThielDDS.com

We love any time that we get to spend together; our favorites are shopping, eating out (sushi, Italian and any other delicious food), talking, Yoga/Pilates, Zumba, trips to Tahoe, Bible studies, doing makeup jobs, and just being together! We’re best friends!

What have you learned from one another?

Martha: I’ve learned by LeiLani’s example to live more in the moment, which is challenging for me, being such a planner. Something that’s always come naturally to her is making people feel loved and valued; now it’s great to watch her do that as a makeup artist, speaking worth and encouragement to all those that she encounters. LeiLani’s strength of character and faith has seriously been tested through her recent divorce, and what has come out of the fire is pure gold. There’s a strength that has come through her forgiveness that has made her even more beautiful than she already was. LeiLani: My mom is my hero, and everything I’ve learned of significance has come from her. She is incredibly selfless and generous with her time, love and vast talents. She makes everything she touches more beautiful, including people. She’s the most beautiful woman I know.

& LeiLani

How would you describe each other?

Martha: LeiLani is the life of the party! She knows no stranger, and is a friend to all. She is the ultimate entertainer, the funniest person I know (she wrote that), and always up for fun and hilarity! She is an amazing mom and daughter. I always said her kids would have the most fun mom, and they do! LeiLani: My mom can do anything better than anybody and look better than anybody doing it! Seriously! She’s stunning and ridiculously talented. She’s also super organized, an amazing hostess, a phenomenal mom and grandma (we call her Mimi), and always gets the job done! She totally trumps Martha Stewart!

LeiLani and Martha are lifelong locals to Yuba City. Currently, LeiLani is a free-lance makeup artist for weddings and special events and Martha assists her in her business, Makeup by LeiLani. Martha and her husband, Alex Miladi, have owned and operated Miladi Karate Academy for the past 20 years, as well as Charisma School of Dance. Their lives revolve around the smallest members of the family, Max (4) and MiaBella (2).


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4 How to Squeeze in More Exercise 6 Understanding Your Money Personality 8 The Pregnancy Test is Positive. Now what do I do? 10 Pain Management Options in Labor & Delivery 12 Life with Menopause

in every issue 15 40! Fabulous, Friendship & Fritzie 20 Being Your Child’s Teacher Starting with Pre-Kindergarten Years 22 To Text or Not to Text 24 The College Admission Maze

2 18 26 28 30

From the Publisher Share with ME Me and My Home Book Banter Generations & Traditions

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on the cover Martha & LeiLani Miladi, photographed by Moments to Remember Photography by Michelle Chandler.

Me and Mine magazine is an LLC and its information, format and designs are protected by copyright laws. Any reproduction of content, photography or arrangement is not permitted unless written permission is granted by the publisher of the magazine.

Contributing authors and photographers are responsible for content and accuracy in their submissions and Me and Mine Magazine, its founders or members assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. Me and Mine Magazine, LLC, copyright 2010

www.meandminemagazine.com

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5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

Happy New Year!!!

As we welcome 2011, I hope your holiday season was wonderful and you are ready for the excitement of the New Year!

It seems that the New Year is always a perfect time to ask ourselves, “Are my dreams coming

true?” Whether we are in the habit of delaying our happiness or waiting to finish or begin something, our list of resolutions each New Year brings us an opportunity for change. My resolutions usually

have something to do with eating healthy, exercising, and getting organized. Every year, I manage to

stay on track for a week or so, and then forget about the whole list. This year, I’m trying something a

bit different. It’s not really a resolution list, but more of a To Do list for 2011. So, I figure, if I put it in print, it’s a MUST Do! Here it is:

1. Go to Apple Hill. Every year, my mom and I say we’re going to Apple Hill and this year, we will. 2. Ride the Yuba Sutter Transit bus with my daughter. Just seeing the “Green Bus” excites her, so this year she will love riding it on an adventure around town.

3. Go to the movies more with my husband. 4. Go to bed earlier.

5. Always put my keys and cell phone in the same place when I’m home. Those two things end

Thank you to our contributors!

My Moments To Remember Photography by Michelle Chandler mymomentstoremember.com

Sarah Tamagni Photography sarahtamagniphoto.blogspot.com Winks Photography winksphoto.blogspot.com

Aurora Studio aurorastudiophotography.com Editor: Jessica Jaeger Account Manager: Rona Desmond

up in the most mysterious places and take minutes, sometimes hours to find.

I would love to know about your resolutions or To Do’s for the year! In fact,

I would love to know a lot more about you. When you have a minute, visit our website, click on the “Tell Us About You” button and send us a note. Tell us what you enjoy doing, or things you love! Share with us what you would like see in the magazine, including photos, stories, parenting advice or entertaining ideas. We want to get to know you!

I look forward to the exciting year we have ahead of us, so let’s

celebrate pleasures grand and small, love given and received, your many

gifts and talents, friendships old and new, and the courage to set reasonable

yet reachable goals…and achieve them!!! Here’s to all the joy that awaits us in this New Year!

Jennifer Jaeger Traynham, Publisher

Are your periods controlling your life? If so, then you may suffer from a common condition called Menorrhagia or excessive menstrual bleeding. Sutter Medical Foundation’s Ob/Gyn physicians offer a procedure called endometrial ablation. This quick, safe, and simple medical procedure can lighten or stop your periods permanently, without the side effects of hormones or the risks of hysterectomy.

Call Sutter Medical Foundation Obstetrics and Gynecology at 530-740-3363 for more information.

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suttermedicalfoundation.org/snmg/

K579110A



how to Squeeze in

More Exercise! Written by Jill Wheaton Photography by Winks Photography

We are chauffeurs, coaches, chefs, doctors, therapists, taxi drivers, cleaners and much more. We are MOMS! We do everything for our kids and our families, but not much for ourselves.

When time and money get tight, our exercise routine is the first thing to get

dropped. But because we wear so many hats every day, we need to keep our bodies healthy. Exercise is a great way to do this. Here are a few things you

can do every day that won’t take up much time. If you can squeeze in just 5

minutes of exercise 6 times a day, you will reach 30 minutes a day. It doesn’t matter how you add it up, it just matters that you do it!

Park your car further out in the parking lot (when it’s safe to do so)! There are approximately 2000 steps in

Make commercials work for you! If you are like me, you hate watching

commercials, so get up off that couch and do

thighs) while you stand in line or while

consistently. A good way to measure this is

break. Mix it up and make those commercials

up.

a mile, and walking a few extra steps before

you get into the store will add up if you do it

to buy an inexpensive pedometer. This is not required, but it is an option.

Stuck in traffic? Try doing some

glute squeezes while you sit there. Contract the muscles in your gluteus (bottom) and

hamstrings (back of thighs) for one to two

seconds. Start with three sets of ten with 30 seconds off between sets. Need a little extra

crunches or stretches on each commercial fly by!

Dishes are inevitable, so why not do calf raises while you wash? You can work on your calves and

clean your kitchen. You will be surprised how quickly your calf muscles will burn!

so much time in checkout lines. The next

Need to work on your arms?

holding onto the cart) and then switch.

Grab a soup can in each hand and extend

your arms straight out to each side, keeping a slight bend to your elbow. Then, start

making little circles with your arms. Set a

kitchen timer for 30 seconds. Repeat 3 times.

Take the stairs! If your office or

shopping center has more than one floor

(and you don’t have a stroller with you) take

the stairs! Jog up the stairs or take them two at a time to really get your heart pumping through that little extra cardio.

you are cooking at the stove. Your goal is to

tighten the muscle and bring your knee cap

You can do anything if you get a little

creative. Just pick some down time (i.e.

cleaning, cooking, and standing in line)

and make it YOUR time! You’ll feel so much better. If you have any questions about

these exercises, please email me at jill. wheaton@babybootcamp.com.

Improve your balance. We waste

challenge? See if you can hold the squeeze for 30 seconds on your last set!

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something. Try doing squats, lunges, planks,

Another great exercise is Quad Sets. Tighten your quadriceps (front of

time you’re waiting to buy your groceries, try standing on one foot for one minute (without Balancing works your core and strengthens your ankles, feet and legs.

Lead by example. When your child is old enough to play in the bath before or after you wash them, take that down time

and stretch. We can’t leave them unattended, so why not interact with them while you

stretch? Your body and muscles will thank you!

Jill Wheaton, of Plumas Lake, has been a Baby Boot Camp franchise owner since August 2007 and is also an AFAA certified personal trainer. She enjoys working closely with her clients to help them achieve their fitness goals. Jill enjoys competitive running and has completed many 5k, 10k, half and full marathons. Photo by Moments to Remember Photography.


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understanding

Your Money

P e r s o n a l i ty

Written by Sharen Dowdall Cornils MA, MFT Photography by Wow Now Photography

It’s not just about what you learned growing up, or what

society may have taught you. Your environment also contributes to

unhealthy spending. Think about the advertising you are bombarded with every day. Often, we confuse advertising with information.

Advertising is not information. It is designed to make you unhappy

with who you are and what you have so that you will buy a product. This doesn’t mean that products or advertising are inherently bad,

but it does mean that if you are not making healthy financial choices, you could end up in serious debt.

If you are already carrying more debt than you want or can

handle, believe me, you are not alone. All we need to do is read the local newspaper to see how many hard-working people are losing

their homes or racking up credit card debt. These are tough times,

which require us to also be tough and honest with ourselves about what we are doing with our money.

Many things affect the way you spend money.

Let’s start by identifying the Seven Spending Personalities. You may find that you fit into one of the categories, or may even see parts of yourself in several of them. That’s okay. Identifying the problem is critical to healthier spending.

1) The Impulsive Buyer. This person buys

on a whim, makes unplanned purchases, lacks self-control

in buying situations, and has

not established clear priorities for spending. Have you ever

gotten home from shopping and been filled with remorse? For me, it was all about a $3,000 gold bracelet I just had to

have. A little voice in my head said, “Oh well, it will be okay.”

Fortunately, a saner voice said, “Take that bracelet back!” I

listened to the saner voice, and

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as embarrassing as it was, I took the bracelet back the next day.

That was a valuable lesson for

me about impulse buying: you can take things back!

2) The Fanatical Shopper. This person goes to extreme efforts to save a

cheapest product. It may have

been smarter to plan to spend a few extra dollars; save time,

energy, and gas; and get a better, longer lasting product in the first place.

They have to be in control,

3) The Passive Buyer. This buyer dislikes

may neglect quality to get the

be talked into buying by the

few dollars, and will shop for

weeks to find the lowest price. and view shopping as a battle of wills. Because of this, they

lowest price, and often end up with something that doesn’t

meet their needs. Guess what

happens then? Out they go again to continue the search for the

shopping, doesn’t comparison shop, doesn’t ask questions,

lacks sales resistance, and may salesperson. Passive buyers are often very busy, and see shopping as a low priority.

No plan generally equals an

unhappy money experience.


4) The Avoidance Buyer. These buyers go

shopping to escape the stress

5) The Esteem Buyer. 6) The Gotta Have It These buyers buy only designer Buyer. This person collects labels from prestige stores,

things as a hobby. This hobby

of revenge, or because they are

impress others. However, those

makes our lives harder instead

in life. Ever heard of Retail

Therapy? They may shop out

lonely or bored. They may buy

gifts instead of showing affection for loved ones. In the end, their accrued debt makes them feel

even worse, as they can become more stressed and lonely.

refuse to shop or buy in discount stores, and are trying to buy to

people we are trying to impress

don’t have to pay our credit card bills every month. Even more

importantly, one’s self-esteem needs to come from within,

not from a new outfit. Also, in

discount stores one can find a

quality product for a much lower price.

4 tips Leave your credit cards at home. You are just looking at this point.

consumes money that could

be better spent elsewhere, and

them in the future. Anybody

ever meet a person who got rich collecting Beanie Babies?

7) The Hot Potato Buyer. This buyer frets

of easier. These buyers focus

and stews over what to do

to drugs, alcohol, tobacco,

implementing a good plan. After

on accumulating possessions, and may also have addictions gambling or overeating.

Remember the Beanie Babies fad? Millions of dollars were

spent on collecting these and

other fad items, with promises of making money by selling

about money and spending.

They procrastinate instead of worrying about spending so

much, the Hot Potato Buyer may make an impulsive decision just to try to end the worrying and get rid of the “hot potato.”

to put into practice when you leave the house to go shopping

No matter what you see that you feel you must have, leave the presence of that item. Get physically away from it for 24 hours.

If after 24 hours you still want the item, price it at three different places.

Write your spending goals and priorities down and carry them with you. Revisit them before you buy and ask yourself if this purchase meets your goals and focuses on your spending priorities.

Just try these and see how much better it feels to make healthier money choices.

All of these money personalities are not abnormal, but they are

problematic if you’re trying to make healthier money decisions. I saw aspects of myself in three of these, depending on what was going on in my life. See if you’re able to identify some of your habits in any of

these “personalities.” That is a good jumping-off point for beginning to learn some really basic things about making better choices about money. One example is something I shared in an article in the last

issue, “Track Your Spending.” To learn where you are leaking money, simply write down everything you spend on things other than rent/ food/gas/utilities—all the non-critical items you buy each day. Do

this for two weeks. You may be surprised at how much money you are leaking.

What’s next? Now that you have taken a look at what your Money Personality might be, we will look at other simple ways to

overcome unhealthy spending. In the next issue we will look at each type of spending personality and how to overcome or avoid pitfalls.

Sharen Dowdall Cornils is an RN, holds a Master of Arts Degree in Psychology, is a Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in Children’s behavior issues, and a Management Training Consultant specializing in Executive Coaching. She lives in Yuba City and contributes to articles for several publications. Photo by Moments to Remember Photography.

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The Pregnancy Test is Positive. Now what do I do?

Written by Dr. Christopher Genobaga Photography by Moments to Remember Photography

Is the store-bought pregnancy test accurate? Pregnancy tests measure the presence of

pregnancy hormone, hCG, in a women’s urine. Most of the over-the-counter pregnancy tests are very accurate and reliable one week after a missed period. If you just can’t wait that long, there are a few tests that can detect pregnancy

In my experience as an Obgyn and as a father of 4 children, it is difficult to express the full range of emotions that you experience when that first

pregnancy test is positive. Terror, confusion, joy, and anxiety are but a few of the emotions that instantly

wage war against your search for clarity and reason. Within five minutes of seeing the positive test, a

multitude of questions and worries fill your mind

and you want answers... immediately. You call your doctor’s office only to find that the next available

appointment is 2 weeks away. In your current state of panic, this is an eternity. In hopes of alleviating some of those initial anxieties, here are some answers to common questions.

hormone levels 1-2 days after a missed period. These include Clear

ultrasound to establish an accurate gestational age. It is important

your doctor’s office and request a blood test to confirm pregnancy.

actually 4 weeks earlier and not 6 weeks earlier.

Blue Easy, One Minute; and First Response, Early Results. If you are

still in denial and not convinced that you are pregnant, you could call With the accuracy of today’s urine tests, a blood test is not usually necessary.

How far along is my pregnancy?

The age of pregnancy is calculated by estimating the number of days between the first day of your last menstrual period and the present. For example, if your last period started 6 weeks ago, you would currently be 6 weeks pregnant. The confusion starts when a women’s period is irregular or when birth control alters the regularity of a woman’s

period. In those situations, pregnancies have to be dated by using an

to note that conception is usually 2 weeks after the start of your

last period. If you are 6 weeks pregnant, the date of conception was

How soon should I see my doctor?

The question is not if, but when, to start prenatal care.

Adequate prenatal care is essential to the success and health of

your pregnancy and has been shown to significantly reduce infant mortality rates. Starting prenatal care in the first trimester is

important and allows your provider the chance to screen and test

for medical conditions that could adversely affect your pregnancy.

Also, if you have chronic medical conditions that require medication, call your doctor as soon as possible. These conditions may include hypertension, diabetes, seizure disorder, or depression/anxiety

disorders. It is important for your doctor to review those conditions and medications to evaluate their implications in your pregnancy. Our local community has many good local physicians, midwives, and clinics that provide these services. Simply call and make an

appointment. Your primary care physician may be helpful in making a choice of which doctor to see during your pregnancy.

What should I do in the meantime?

Get healthy. I would first start by buying prenatal vitamins. There are many good prenatal vitamins available over the counter in your local drug store. Look specifically for adequate folic acid, which is

400 micrograms per day. Folic acid is important in preventing birth defects in the brain and spinal cord and also birth defects such as cleft lip and palate.

8


Quit smoking. Smoking in pregnancy significantly increases risks

of bleeding, low birth weight, preterm labor and still birth.

Make healthy food choices that include a well balanced diet and

healthy snacks. Choose foods rich in folates, such as beans, legumes,

green leafy vegetables and oranges. Pregnant mothers need an extra 300 calories per day. If you are experiencing nausea, vomiting, or

Jeetinder Sohal, MD, ObGYN is dedicated to quality women’s healthcare...

heartburn during early pregnancy, it may be helpful to divide your food intake into 6 smaller healthy meals instead of 3 larger meals.

Avoid seafood that may be high in mercury, which may cause some

• Gynecology • Obstetric Care • Preventive Care

birth defects. Swordfish, shark, and tilefish are examples of fish with

high mercury content. Also restrict your intake of fish low in mercury (salmon, talapia, canned tuna, sardines) to 12 ounces per week.

When should I tell my family?

The decision about when to share the wonderful news is up to the individual parent. Here are some numbers that

Jeetinder Sohal, MD 470 Del Norte Ave Yuba City, CA 95991

• Menopausal Evaluation and Therapy

• Teen Care • Surgical Offerings • Contraception • Infertility

530-751-7350 • M-F 9am to 5pm smgobgyn.com

may help you decide on the appropriate time. The risk of miscarriage during the early part of pregnancy is an unfortunate reality. 15% of pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first 6 weeks. That

number decreases to just below 5% if a fetal heartbeat is seen on an ultrasound and the mother has no symptoms of bleeding. That risk

drops to 3% after the 13th to 20th week. These percentages increase overall in the presence of specific risk factors such as alcohol use,

heavy caffeine use, smoking, and history of prior miscarriage, but after the 13th week, you’re pretty safe to share the news.

What are common things I may feel before that first doctor’s visit?

Don’t be surprised if you start to feel significant changes in your body within those first few weeks of pregnancy. It

Walk-ins welcome. Limp-ins welcome too!

Just remember that pregnancy is experienced differently from person

Our professional health care staff will provide treatment for minor illnesses and injuries that are non-life threatening, but do require treatment.

is common to feel breast tenderness, headache, mood swings, nausea, food aversions, and extreme fatigue in the early weeks of pregnancy. to person and even from pregnancy to pregnancy. Don’t panic if things are a little different the second or third time around.

My last piece of advice is to take time to kneel down and say a prayer of thanks. New life and children are truly a blessing, a precious gift that must be honored with reverence and respect. So enjoy it and welcome to the show that never ends... parenthood. Dr. Christopher Genobaga, MD, FACOG has been practicing in the Yuba-Sutter area for ten years, with a special interest in minimally invasive Gynecology surgery. He attended Medical School at Loma Linda University. Dr. Genobaga lives in Yuba City with his wife and four children.

• • • • • • • • •

Colds, flu and other viral illness Bronchitis, pneumonia and asthma attacks Ear, throat and sinus infection Rashes, poison ivy and allergic reactions Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and dehydration Fractures, sprains strains and dislocations Wound repair and abscess drainage Lacerations (cuts), abrasions (scrapes & splinters) Work-related injuries and more

No appointment is necessary. Visa, Mastercard, check cash, most health insurance, Medi-Cal and Medicare

1531 Plumas Court in Yuba City

Near Queens & Live Oak. Next to DaVita Dialysis

www.frhgurgentcare.org

751-4900


Pain Management

Options in Labor & Delivery

Written by Lori Meinking Photography by Wow Now Photography

If you’re like most women, the pain of labor and delivery is

not something to which you are looking forward. Though some

women do experience little pain during labor, they are a minority. Most women experience labor as a painful process. For this

reason, it is important to educate yourself about your options for

pain management during labor, and to decide which methods will best fit your needs. Keep in mind that your best bet is to be wellinformed and flexible in your options because you won’t know

how painful labor will be until you actually experience it. Work

with your midwife or doctor to decide which types of pain relief you are interested in, so that there is no confusion once you are

in labor! Generally, mothers and their providers want to use the safest and most effective method of pain relief for both mother and baby.

to rest and relax as much as

contractions. There are many

Analgesics

harness the power of breathing to help you through your

methods of patterned breathing techniques that can be very effective in labor.

Focusing on something

other than contractions helps

main types

of pain management for labor and birth:

• Natural Labor or Non-Medicated Measures • Analgesics (IV pain medication or a shot) • Anesthesia (epidural)

Natural Labor

Lamaze teaches that birth is a

pain, such as through relaxation

should be empowered to

supportive coach.

normal, natural, and healthy process and that a woman

approach it with confidence.

Lamaze teaches women ways

to decrease their perception of

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Childbirth classes can help you

techniques, breathing exercises, distraction, or massage by a

Breathing techniques help

by calming and relaxing you

as labor contractions intensify.

women cope with labor. Some women prefer an internal

focus. They visualize their

bodies working for them, or

mentally “remove” themselves

to a pleasant and peaceful place. Others prefer an external focus. Concentration on an object or a face, listening to music, or

movement such as swaying or massage helps many women.

Relaxation is one of the

most important skills you can learn to reduce the pain and

discomfort of labor. When under stress, most people are unaware of how tense their necks,

shoulders, arms, etc., really

are. The less your body has to

“work” in these areas, the more progress it can make during

each contraction. Although you

won’t have a lot of time between contractions, you should try

possible between each one.

Analgesics (systemic painkillers) are medications to relieve

pain such as Fentanyl, Stadol,

Morphine, Demerol, and Nubain. These narcotics dull the pain

but do not completely eliminate it. They are either delivered

into the bloodstream through

an IV or injected into a muscle,

and they affect your entire body rather than concentrating pain relief in the uterus and pelvic

area. You may feel sleepy and/ or light headed after receiving

IV pain medication. The smallest

dose possible is given because of the potential adverse effects of

these drugs on the fetus. These drugs easily cross the placenta to the fetus and may take a long time to clear from the

baby’s system even after birth.

Analgesics can cause respiratory depression in the baby, and for this reason analgesics are not

given to the mother if the birth is imminent.


4

STEPS

for Kids

California state law mandates all children under the age of 6 years or 60 pounds, be properly restrained in the rear seat, in an appropriate child passenger restraint system. A citation can be issued to the parent or guardian for each child not in compliance.

STEP 1 Rear-Facing Seats

STEP 3 Booster Seats

• Newborns & infants up to 20-35 pounds. Infants should ride facing up to the maximum weight rating on the child paasenger restraint system, check seat for weight rating.

• For children over 40 pounds. • Must be used with lab and shoulder belts. • Lap belt fits low and tight across hips. • Shoulder belt crosses the collar bone and center of chest.

STEP 2 Forward Facing Seats • Children over one year of age AND at least 20 pounds. • Face forward only. • Most can be converted to a belt positioning booster after child reaches 40 pounds.

530.743.1565

Anesthesia

Epidural: The basics behind an

your spine. The catheter is

of labor and delivery. It is a

been numbed. The medications

epidural are that it can greatly reduce or eliminate the pain

form of continuous pain relief

to the lower part of your body while allowing you to remain

fully conscious. Medication is

delivered through a small catheter (or tube) that is inserted into

the epidural space just outside the membrane that surrounds

inserted through a needle into your back after your back has

used in an epidural are usually a combination of local anesthetic

and narcotics. The medication is

controlled by a pump that infuses continuously and is set up by the anesthesiologist.

STEP 4 Seat Belt • Age 6 or older or over 60 pounds. • Must be in the back seat unless exempt. • NHTSA recommends all children 12 and under should be in the back seat.

Appointments can be made at the CHP or Yuba City Police Depart. for parents to have their seat inspected for proper fit and installation by a nationally certified technician. Parents should periodically check their child seats for any manufacturer recalls. They may do so at www-odi.nhtsa.dot.gav/recalls/childseat.cfm Ad Courtesy of California Highway Patrol

Lori Meinking has founded Yuba City Midwife, as a joint practice with Dr. Christopher Genobaga’s “W” A Center for Women’s Health, Inc. After ten years experience in labor and delivery as a Registered Nurse at Fremont Medical Center, Lori has completed her training as a midwife. Lori was raised in the Yuba-Sutter area and lives in Yuba City with her husband and two daughters.

11


Life Menopause

with

impede

sexual

function.

Written by Stanley T. Nowinski, M.D.

Menopause is the end of menstruation that comes after the loss of ovarian activity. It usually occurs in women somewhere between the ages of 45-55.

It is a normal process, not a medical problem or disease. That being said, many women do

have troublesome symptoms associated with it. Medical issues in menopausal women

involve primary and preventive health care

and counseling and address diet, fitness, use

of alcohol and tobacco, cancer screening, and the role of hormone therapy.

Most women experience a period of

irregular menstruation before menopause. Common symptoms include vasomotor

symptoms (hot flashes) and vaginal dryness. Other medical conditions associated with menopause include osteoporosis, cancer,

heart disease, risk of stroke, diabetes, lung disease, Alzheimer’s disease, and adult

macular degeneration (loss of sharp vision). Low estrogen levels after menopause may contribute to most of these conditions.

For hot flash relief, estrogens alone

or estrogens plus progestins (man-made

progesterone) are very effective. Estrogen

is also effective for the treatment of vaginal

dryness and other changes in the body that

12

Different forms of

estrogens appear to

be equally effective.

Menopausal women

can slow the development of osteoporosis with proper nutrition, avoiding alcohol

and cigarettes, and exercising regularly.

The National Institute of Health currently recommends 1000mg per day of calcium for women taking estrogen therapy, and 1500mg per day for women not taking

estrogen therapy or over the age of 65.

Accident prevention and safety issues are

also important because of the risk of bone fractures.

The benefits and risks of menopausal

hormone therapy (HT) should be discussed in detail with a doctor before starting

therapy and before renewing an annual prescription. For the woman who has

an intact uterus, the use of an estrogenprogestin regimen reduces the risk of

endometrial cancer. An alternative is the use of low dose estrogen, but only if the woman can be monitored

closely to detect any

changes. A progestin intrauterine system, such as an IUD, may

be used to protect the endometrial lining as an alternative. Women

have a number of

concerns regarding HT. Unopposed

estrogen (too much estrogen with not

enough progesterone to balance it)

increases the risk of

endometrial cancer. There is, however, no

relationship between estrogen therapy and ovarian cancer. There is clinical evidence that HT increases the risk of developing breast cancer, but the risk appears to

disappear once HT is discontinued. For estrogen-only users who have had a

hysterectomy and oophorectomy (surgical removal of the ovaries), the risk of breast cancer does not seem to be increased. However, there is an increased risk of

gallstones and related surgery with the

use of HT, and the risk of blood clots and

pulmonary embolism (blockage of blood

vessels in the lungs) is increased two fold. In addition, HT does not treat or prevent coronary heart disease.

Women are advised against estrogen

therapy if they have any of the following conditions: abnormal vaginal bleeding, known estrogen dependent cancer,

blood clots, recent stroke or heart attack, liver disease, or pregnancy. A history of

endometrial (uterine) cancer is considered

risky for HT, but there is lack of evidence to support this.

At least three treatment regimens are used for HT: • Cyclic. Estrogen is given for 25 days with the addition of a cyclic progestin. • Combined. Estrogen and a low dose of progestin are given daily. • Estrogen-only. Estrogen is given for 25 days per month or more. Endometrial sampling or ultrasound of the uterus can evaluate the woman who uses estrogen alone.


Katie Rollins

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For breast cancer survivors, alternatives to HT should be

considered. Alternatives to HT include drugs called SSRI’s,

botanicals such as soy protein, black cohosh, and St. John’s wort. Compounded bioidentical hormones are plant derived and are

prepared by a pharmacist. Most compounded products have not

undergone rigorous clinical testing for safety or effectiveness. They

have the same indications and safety issues as those associated with HT agents.

Women should have detailed conversations on these topics

Lic# 01494928

530-701-1933 Katie.Rollins@Century21.com 409 Century Park Drive

Yuba City, CA 95991

with their personal physician.

Women in the stages leading up to menopause should be aware

of the normal events of aging due to reduced ovarian function. In

addition, they should realize that changes in life style, specifically in

creating

beautiful smiles

diet and exercise habits, might benefit their overall health. Quitting smoking, monitoring cholesterol and blood pressure, managing

orthodontics specialist and dentafacial orthopedics

weight, and regularly seeing a physician are encouraged.

American college of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Guidelines for Women’s Health Care 3rd edition. ACOG Washington D.C. 2007. Sin52310

clear braces invisilign® treatments available over 30 years of providing quality orthodontics excellence in creating beautiful smiles by an orthodontic specialist

GALEN FILLMORE, D.D.S., M.S. Dr. Stanley Nowinski has a practice in Yuba City at Sutter Medical Foundation and has over 23 years of experience in practicing general Obstetrics/Gynecology in the Yuba Sutter area. His professional involvement with the medical community includes prior terms as the Chief of Staff at Fremont-Rideout Health Group, President of the Yuba/Sutter/ Colusa Medical Society, and Director of the Great Beginnings Midwifery Program. Photo by Moments to Remember Photography.

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40!

&

Fabulous, Friendship Fritzie

Written by Rona Desmond Photography by Moments to Remember Photography

Oh forty...

a perfect milestone of love, friendship and everything pretty. A celebration of where we’ve been, of our selfdiscoveries, of the acceptance

of blessings on this journey, and

most importantly, a celebration of

friendship! Fritzie’s 40th birthday was a celebration of friendship,

old and new. It was a tribute to a

cherished friend to let her know how much she is loved! Over the past 25

years, we’ve been through a lot. We’ve stuck together through shoulder pads

and leggings, mini-skirts and marriage and motherhood, divorces, deaths

and every step in between. Love for my sweet, beautiful friend Fritzie decorates my life.

A circle of friends completes life,

and keeps us together on our journey.

Girlfriends are the greatest gift; we support each other as we laugh and cry. We

understand each other. We are passionate about each other, wanting the best for our friends in every single situation in their

lives. This special bond between women lifts us up and supports us. Always!

Fritzie’s birthday had to be special.

She was celebrating this beautiful time

in her life, expecting her third baby, and

turning forty! She had given her friends

the incredible gift of traveling through life

with her. We had celebrated each step of our

friendship, and together we understood that every part of our destiny has been a lesson, and that it’s our journey together that has made our lives worthwhile. On birthdays, we have our cake, but on every day of the

year that we spend together, we eat it too!

“Our friendship is a true unconditional love.

There is no definition of what this friendship delivers; it is extraordinary. Fritzie is a special gift, and when I speak of our friendship, I am tickled. One of my greatest blessings is having Fritzie by my side. She has given me joy in so many ways, through her family, Jess & Olivia who light up my life, and the love she gives freely to my own. I can’t imagine my life without her. A hand holds our friendship, much greater than our own; together we have moved mountains and encouraged each other to fly. This power has protected us; it has delivered joy & sheer delight! Her gifts are strength for daily tasks, courage to face the road ahead, strong will to bear the load, and an inward joy of all things felt and seen. -Rona

15


DIY!

The very essence of friendship and love is creativity, so I wanted everything for Fritzie’s

birthday to reflect the creative nature of loveliness. With this in my heart, we cut, glued,

and crafted our dreams into a beautiful vibrant display of color and whimsy. I loved this theme; it was a fun way to decorate for her 40th! I used tons of great DIY projects and creative ideas to be shared here to help inspire parties of all occasions.

I pictured this party being colorful, cheery, and sassy. So… As you can see, I jumped

Gifts, along with clip on

made this idea fabulous;

party. I loved the idea of

container, also from Twigs.

flags, flutes decorated with

on the tissue paper pompom bandwagon for this

brightly colored clusters of these hanging everywhere. I used a mixture of

rounded and pointed petal poms in bright

pink, turquoise, light

pink, purple and orange.

Bright colored butterflies, flowers and poms were

hung throughout the patio. I totally lucked out in

finding the fabric on the

clearance table at Joann’s fabric store. It matched the colors of the party perfectly. With only

having so much of the

fabric, I decided to use it as a table runner along

with white china, courtesy of City Cafe. I wrapped white napkins with

coordinating paper bands, and glittered “40” at each setting.

I created a centerpiece for the table using branches

borrowed from Twigs Fine

16

birds and butterflies. A

beautiful tutu dressed the Cut pieces of fabric

ribbon hung from the

guest of honor’s chair

and were secured with a

pom. Vintage patterned pennants hung from the

windows, above the tables, and around the patio. Instead of having a

“signature drink” at the

party, we had a Signature Drink STATION! This is

a fun idea that you could

really tailor to any sort of theme or occasion. The drink station offered a

DIY Champagne & Cider Bar where guests could choose their favorite

mixer (flavored juice) then top it with champagne or cider to create their own drink! The little details

pretty drink stirrers

embellished with vintage a butterfly glued to each stem, colorful signs and pretty cocktail napkins

also added color to this station.

Seriously stunning eye

candy came in the form

of the dessert table and

all its sweets! From the gorgeous pink flowers

arrangements (purchased at Sam’s Club) placed in apothecary jars to

the whimsy flag topped

cupcakes to the fabulous cake (from Cakes by

Request) and everything

in between, this table was almost too pretty to eat!


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Life can be puzzling now & then.

Somehow at the most difficult times,

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1:52 PM

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Page 1

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Our friends give us wings to fly.

“40... memories, wishes and quotes for the birthday girl." A collection of everyone’s story with Fritzie!

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“In my imaginary neighborhood you live right next door…don’t even get me started on the imaginary universe we could create! Thanks for making my life sparkle!” -Fritzie

1258 Stabler Lane, Suite 140 Yuba City, California 95993 (530) 673-7000


Hi, just some thoughts about your publication ... 1. I think it’s done well: colorful, locally focused. 2. I enjoyed the articles: they are informative and cover a nice variety of topics. 3. I was surprised that there was no “cover story” to go with your cover photo, this didn’t make sense to me. Thank you for your time! Have a blessed day, Melinda, Yuba City

“I’m pretty sure Gracie won’t get sunburned today!”

Thank you for your e-mail Melinda! Check out the Inside Cover…and thanks for the idea!

Prevent undereye circles! Most of us have to come to terms with the fact that under-eye circles, bags, and pigmentation are hereditary; but dehydration, stress and lack of sleep are definitely huge culprits as well. To prevent and

Jolene, Biggs

diminish, I always say to treat and conceal.

Draegan is a very happy baby!

Always smiling and loves to play with his older brother & sister. Submitted by Christina, Williams

A great eye cream is necessary and should be used morning and night. To target the puffiness and dark circles, I love Clinique’s “All About Eyes” that comes in

Artichoke Dip

Water Packed Artichokes 2 cloves garlic • 1 cup mozzarella ½ cup shredded parmesean 3 or 4 drops hot sauce • ½ cup of mayo Mix all together, Bake at 350 for 30 mins, and serve with Pita Chips Super Easy and SO GOOD!

my family!

Just thought I’d share a photo of Kimbra, Yuba City

18

Would love to be on your mailing list, but I wasn’t sure how to get on.... Please let me know. I love your magazine!!! JENNIFER, Oregon House

Hi Jennifer! We would love to have you on our mailing list! Our magazine is FREE! To sign up, visit our website www.meandminemagazine.com, click on the “Tell Us About You” button and send your address our way. So happy you love the magazine!!!!

a light gel or more hydrating cream. Apply with your ring finger (as it is the weakest finger and will tug the least), with a patting and smoothing motion under the eye mainly and lightly on the top of the lid. Then conceal with a full-coverage concealer that doesn’t crease. It’s like a nap in a tube! LeiLani Miladi – Makeup Artist/Owner of Makeup by LeiLani


OUR LADY OF LOURDES PARISH SCHOOL Where Faith & Knowledge Meet. Choose OLL for all the right reasons. A safe & secure environment An education that instills faith, service, & morals Dedicated & qualified teachers committed to your child’s success

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Peach Tree Healthcare acknowledges that each pregnancy and birth is a unique event. Our prenatal program is designed to prepare you for the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period. Early and regular checkups are important to you and your baby’s health. Peachtree Clinic’s Prenatal Program provides: • Routine pregnancy checkups, lab work and access to specialists. Dr. Christopher Genobaga OB/GYN

• Hospital care during pregnancy, delivery and postpartum.

Prenatal care is more than just health care while you are pregnant. At Peachtree Clinic, your health care provider may discuss many issues, such as nutrition and physical activity, what to expect during the birth process and basic skills for caring for your newborn. Lori Meinking, CNM, NP, MSN Certified Nurse Midwife

5730 Packard Ave., Suite 500 Marysville, CA 95901 530-749-3242


You are the perfect person to teach them the ways of life, including educating them. Most of us know by now that today’s kindergarten is not the kindergarten of our past. Its focus is no longer play and make-believe, but about making strides toward literacy and academic readiness for the many years of education ahead. Those of you who have had a child go through kindergarten recently know how much is expected of them in this precious precursor to their first year of elementary school. Students are, amongst many other things, expected to already know many of the basics upon entering kindergarten: name writing, alphabet recognition and sounds, number recognition, alphabet and number writing, shape recognition, color recognition, social competency, spatial awareness, and much

Being Your Child’s Teacher

Starting with the Pre-Kindergarten Years Written by Meghan Hamilton Photography by Sarah Tamagni Photography

more. How does one make sure that their little one is truly ready to meet kindergarten expectations? The answer may not be what you think. From the moment you decided to embark on the journey of parenting, you also, in that moment decided to be a teacher. You are your child’s first and best teacher. You know them better than anyone: their strengths, their weaknesses, what makes them happy and sad. You are the perfect person to teach them the ways of life, including educating them. Our society too often passes the blame for educational failures onto the teachers and the educational system. While both may potentially contribute to a students’

The first step in educating your child starting with the prekindergarten years is knowledge. You must first know what the expectations are of your child once they reach kindergarten. In the state of California these expectations are called “content standards” and are readily available for viewing at the State of California’s website: http://www.cde.ca.gov/be/st/ss/. The standards are organized by subject matter and provide a detailed description of what is expected of students at every grade-level. While the language used within these standards can be daunting to read, they will give you an understanding of the skills your child needs to acquire before entering first grade.

20

educational failure, the true reason is in fact much closer to home. On that magical day when our children are born, we begin educating them. We teach them how to walk and talk, to say please and thank you. As they grow older we teach them how to be independent and use the potty on their own, tie their shoes and brush their teeth. As their teacher, don’t we owe it to our children to also begin giving them the tools they need to be successful students? In this internet-age all of the information we need to navigate the task of educating our children is at our fingertips.

So, you may ask, what is the first step?

Assessing the amount of time you can commit to educating your child is an important second step. For households with two working parents, there is little time in the day to effectively teach all that is expected. For these parents, sending their child to a quality preschool may be the best choice. For other households, where a parent is home throughout the day and the amount of time they have to dedicate to teaching their child is greater, enrolling in preschool part time or a “homeschool preschool” approach may be the best fit. Whatever choice you make as a parent, keep in mind that being your child’s teacher does not always mean that you are the one teaching them. Being your child’s teacher means that you are taking an active role in their academic career and placing them on the path to educational success.

The third (but far from final) step in educating your child is to bring school home. If you have decided to send your child to preschool, it does not mean that you have been excused from your teaching duties. You must still reinforce concepts that are being taught in school. While you may not be able to reinforce all of the information that your little one is learning at school, you can make sure that your child is excelling at the basics by creating a fun, daily routine that involves any or all of the exercises on the next page.


daily exercises • • • • • • • • • • •

Alphabet writing/recognition Name writing (first and last, capital and lowercase letters) Letter sounds Color recognition Shape recognition Spatial awareness (left, right, above, below, etc.) Number writing/recognition Counting objects Money recognition Rhyming words Reading a story By taking an active role as

your child’s teacher you will ensure that not only are

you and your child ready

for kindergarten, but all of

the educational adventures ahead.

Other resources: “Let’s Get Ready for Kindergarten!” by Cedar Valley Publishing “Let’s Get ready for First Grade!” by Cedar Valley Publishing Fusion Schools website: www.fusionkids.com CA Content Standards website: www.cde.ca.gov/be/st/ss/ Meghan Hamilton is a Co-Owner/Founder of Fusion Schools. She possesses a BS in Human Development from UC Davis and a CA Teaching Credential. Meghan is the author of the Fusion Early Learning Curriculum which has been developed and implemented at Fusion Schools. She is an alumni of YCHS, and now lives with her husband, Tom, and her two children, Jack and Emma, in Fair Oaks, CA. Photo by Aurora Studio.


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gh out g l oud t m Text i: to or cuNot nt: To o l m to Text 8 no r: s uch in fo te ee

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Written by Sara Nowinski Photography by Sarah Tamagni Photography

xt

you

late

What happened to the days when, in order to communicate with someone, we had to have the courage and social know-how to actually walk up to a person and talk? What happened to the days when calling someone out for a fight after school actually had to be done face to face?

This list of “what happened to” questions

of the easily accessible freedom that both

it comes to using text messaging and the

is convenient as a parent to be able to text

ficult discussions with parents who didn’t

of assuming that a child will automatically

goes on and on thanks to the double-edged sword of texting and the internet. Sure, it

our children to ask questions like, “Where

are you going after school?” “Did you feed the dog today?” or “Have you done your

homework?” But texting can also be harmful, in that many teens spend more time

texting than doing other important things, like spending time with family, doing their

homework, or engaging in physical activity.

In addition to text messaging, many teenag-

ers also have direct access to the internet on their phones, leading them into the temptation of posting pictures and information on the internet in a matter of seconds. Along with the privilege of having a phone with these capabilities comes a great deal of

responsibility. Teens need to know how to

appropriately use the technology that is so readily available to them.

The brightest, most logical teenager

can easily succumb to the temptation of

their cell phone. They may say or do things they would normally not say or do because

22

the internet and text messaging offer. As a school administrator, I have had many difrealize what their son or daughter was

doing with his or her phone. Unfortunately, many things that go on after school hours,

such as bullying through text messaging or

online social networking sites like Facebook,

internet. And, in my experience, these conversations cannot start too young. Instead be tech savvy and use their phones wisely,

we should guide them through, step by step, like any other lesson or new life experience.

end up being dealt with in the principal’s

office at school. The freedom of having such readily available contact with peers has

presented itself, on numerous occasions, as

being more freedom than kids can handle. It

is not uncommon to have conversations with parents who are furious that their child has been involved in using inappropriate lan-

guage or looking at inappropriate pictures on a phone.

Because this technology has become

such an integral part of our lives, we need to

make sure that we spend time educating and coaching our children about how to properly use it. As children get older, it is imperative that we talk with them candidly about the importance of making good choices when

Sara Nowinski is the Principal at King Avenue School in Yuba City. She has a Masters in educational management from the University of LaVerne. She lives in Sutter County with her two daughter, ages 2 and 4. Photo by Moments to Remember Photography.


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The College Admission Maze They say that when your child enters high school, the years just fly by! This is absolutely true and before you know it, your child will be graduating. As a parent myself, I can understand that uneasy feeling of not knowing how to best help your child through the maze of college admissions. Here are some tips that I always share with students and parents about the college admission process.

Written by Amandeep Kandola Photography by Winks Photography

of the colleges they want to

acronyms for placements

they want to attend a particular

Placement Test) used by the

attend. You would be surprised at how many students think

college but change their minds

after simply visiting a different

campus. Don’t limit your visits to one or two schools; visit as

many colleges as you possibly can.

Tip #4

Know your educational

acronyms. Counselors are

infamous for throwing out

acronyms like CSU, UC, SAT, ACT, FAFSA, ELM/EPT, and AP and

BREATHS! It is going to be okay and you will survive this nervewracking process.

Tip #2

Start talking about college as soon as possible. The

conversation about what your child wants to do after high

school needs to begin in his/ her freshman year—or even in junior high! I know what

some of you are thinking—they are barely getting used to high school and you already want me to stress them out about

college? While you don’t want to stress them out, it is important

24

made freshman year will affect college admissions. In order for your child to reach his/

her goals, he/she must have a roadmap of how to get there.

While it’s normal for teenagers to change their minds about

what they want to do in life and

where they want to go to college, it is important for them to take classes that will keep all the

doors of higher education open to them.

Tip #3

Visit the colleges that your son or daughter is interested in

attending before he/she is a

senior. It is important for your

child to get a feel for the culture

freshman.

• AP = AP courses are advanced placement classes offered at

your high school. Towards the

end of the school year, students have the opportunity of taking the AP exam for their AP

courses. If a student passes the exam, he/she will earn college

credit for the high school class.

Tip #5

to not be afraid or hesitant to

at me because you teach your

ask your child’s counselor what

RELAX and TAKE SOME DEEP

CSU system for incoming

Know your A through G.

with them. My advice to you is

for them to know that decisions

Math) and English (English

forgetting that parents and/or students may not be familiar

Tip #1

tests in Math (Entry-Level

in the world they are talking about! Here are some of the

most common acronyms when it comes to college application and admissions process:

• CSU = California State University

• UC = University of California • SAT/ACT = The Scholastic

Assessment/Aptitude Test

(SAT) and American College Testing Program (ACT) are

both standardized tests that are used to evaluate basic

knowledge of subjects learned in the classroom. Scores on

these tests are used as a factor in determining eligibility and/ or granting admissions to college.

• FAFSA = Free application for federal student aid

• ELM/EPT= These are

If you’re a kindergarten teacher,

you’re probably ready to scream students A-Z, and I am telling

you that you only really need to know A-G. In all seriousness, for admission to a CSU or UC,

you really do only need to know those letters! To satisfy basic admissions requirements for

the CSU and UC systems, your student must fulfill the A-G

requirements by taking rigorous high school courses in specified subject areas. You can access information about specific

subject requirements by going to http://www.ucop.edu/a-

gGuide/ag/a-g/welcome.html. On this website, you will also

be able to pull specific courses at your student’s high school

that meet the A-G requirements by clicking on the option called “Doorways.” There are NO

exceptions for admissions when it comes to the UC and the CSU


system so it is important to have a complete understanding of the A-G requirements.

Tip #6

Don’t let money be a factor in determining if your child will attend college. There are so

many opportunities for financial aid. There are scholarships,

grants, and loans to help your student through college. As

parents, we worry about the amount of debt our children

will have by the time they exit college. But depending on

your financial need, there is a

lot of free money to help with

college expenses. For example, the UC system offers the Blue and Gold Opportunity Plan. With this plan, if you make

less than $70,000 a year, your

child’s system-wide fees (which are currently $10,302) would be paid through grants and

scholarships. The CSU system

also offers the State University Grant to help cover the State University fee for qualified

students. The important thing to remember when it comes

to financial aid is to make sure your child applies before the deadline. For all federal and

state money, your student must complete the FAFSA.

Tip #7

Google it! Let technology

be your friend. There is a

lot of information on college admissions that is readily

available to you via the internet. If you are not sure where to go,

just google it! Here is a list of the most common websites I refer parents to:

• CSU admissions: www. csumentor.com

• UC admissions: http://www. universityofcalifornia.edu/ admissions/

• Career planning, financial aid, and comprehensive

admissions information on

colleges in California: www. californiacolleges.edu

• Free application for federal

student aid: www.fafsa.ed.gov

Tip #8

Know your deadlines. I cannot stress how important it is for parents to have a complete

understanding of the deadlines for applications, grants, and

scholarships. Don’t base your college deadlines upon what

other people tell you. Do the research yourself and make sure you have the correct

information. As our budget

crisis continues and colleges continue to lose funding, the

admissions process has become more competitive than ever. You need to make sure you

jump through all the hoops,

or it could affect your child’s

admission to college. Get the proper information straight

from the college that your child is interested in attending by navigating their website or

making direct contact with the campus.

Tip #9

Identify and access your

allies. To me, this is the most

important tip of them all! You are not alone in this abyss of

college admissions. Your biggest ally in successfully navigating through this process is your child’s school counselor. If

you have questions about the college admissions process,

don’t hesitate to contact them.

up into manageable steps. Of course, you must have a plan,

so you need to gather as much

information about the process as possible. You and your student have resources available to

assist with this planning. Take some deep breaths and take

the big leap towards helping

your student achieve the college dream!

Yes, it is okay for you to come

in and cry about how difficult it is to think about sending

your child away to college. We

understand because most of us are parents too. Besides your

child’s counselor, here are some

other key allies you may want to identify at your school:

• The person that is responsible for posting scholarships.

• The records clerk to get

official transcripts for college applications.

• If your student is in AVID, the AVID teacher is a beacon of

knowledge about the college admissions process.

Amandeep Kandola has been a school counselor for Yuba City Unified School District for the last twelve years. She is currently a counselor at Yuba City High School. Amandeep lives in Yuba City with her husband, Ranjit and their two sons, Simon and Saajan. Photo by Moments to Remember Photography.

Even though the college

admissions process may seem complicated, it can be broken

25


Do you have a junk drawer? Junk drawer? Oh, we have junk drawers & closets & a garage too! best known for building Hearst Castle in

San Simeon, CA. An addition to the house

was built over a walkway that leads to our

neighbor’s house on the North. This house

was built on fifty feet of land, twenty-five feet from one neighbor and twenty-five feet from the owner’s mother, who lived next door.

They had a path that led from our back door

to the mother’s back door, which is still there under a newer section of the house.

The property runs downhill from the levee.

One day I got a call from my neighbor asking me why there was a car parked on my front Interview with Sandi Cook Photography by Moments to Remember Photography

How long have you lived in your home?

We purchased the home from my parents

in 1997, but I lived here while I was growing up from 1981 to 1987. So really, I’ve lived here 19 years!

Does your home have any fun history?

Oh, wow! Well it’s rumored to be haunted, although I’ve never had anything exciting happen while we’ve owned it. When my

parents bought the house in 1981, my dad found an infant’s tombstone in the back-

yard from the 1800’s, which predates the

house. And one night after being at a family wedding, we arrived home to find that

someone or something had mysteriously moved our Ukrainian Easter Eggs, which

my sister Peri had made years before. The eggs were usually kept in a basket on top

26

of a tall china closet, but had been moved around the house; one was on the floor behind the sofa in the living room, the

second was on the floor in the dining room, the third was put between the locked front

door and the looked screen door, the fourth was undisturbed in the basket and the fifth was gone without a trace! The house was locked with no evidence of anyone breaking in, and nothing else was disturbed or missing!

This house was built in 1920 by Julia

Morgan, a famed female architect who is

door steps. I rushed home to find a car about three feet from the front porch! Across the street, another neighbor forgot to set her

parking brake, so her car had rolled down her drive, across the street, and parked itself at

our front door! Luckily, it didn’t hit anything.


What is your fondest memory in your home?

The night my husband proposed to me on the front steps. He had

carried the ring around all night in the pocket of his jacket. We’d had

dinner in Old Sacramento, and walked around for hours there while he tried to muster up the courage to ask! We drove home, still with the

ring in his pocket (which I knew about the whole time), but not until

we said goodnight did he pop the question while standing on the front steps! And yes, he was standing, not kneeling on one knee! It was a

good night! There are so many great memories here, but that tops the list!

What is your favorite holiday to decorate for? As with most people, Christmas is my fa-

vorite. Everything is happy and cheerful, and I’ve never met a Christmas decoration I didn’t like! This house is easy to

adorn with shiny things. It is one of the coziest homes I’ve ever been in, and Christmas just makes it glitter!

How would you describe your home décor?

Well I tend to be a “junk collector,” so I guess eclectic is my decorating style. It seems I like everything! With three kids who seem to have caught the “junker bug,” we decorate with treasures from vacation souvenirs, collected rocks, or anything else of rare backyard beauty!

Do you like to entertain?

I love to entertain! I would have a party every weekend if someone would clean my house! I really do love to have company. Growing up, my parents always had people over; our house was always the gathering place for family events, BBQ’s, holidays, or for no reason at all! Our house just seemed to be the place everyone came to visit. My dad is the fifteenth out of sixteen kids, so we have an enormous family! Every day seemed like a special occasion, so I think entertaining is in my blood.

What do you love most about your home?

I don’t want to sound too sappy, but I love the way it makes me feel. It

gives me a sense of belonging. I like that it has a history. It’s sound and grounded, and I feel like it’s always going to be here. I know I’m home.


The Women’s Murder Club Series: A synopsis of the first three of nine novels: 1st to Die, 2nd Chance, and 3rd Degree Written by James Patterson, reviewed by Sharen Cornils

I love to read murder mysteries and James Patterson is one of my favorite authors of this genre. Many consider him the

world’s most popular thriller writer, with over 110 million copies of his books in worldwide print. Several of his books have been

made into movies, and his recurring character Alex Cross is a grand character. In 2001, James Patterson decided to go another way, and the Women’s Murder Club was born. Wow, women as crime solvers? Strong women at the top of their game? I’m in! In this

series, the main characters are all successful, professional women in law enforcement, the DA’s Office, the Coroner’s Office, or the news media. The character development linking these independent women examines their strengths, humanity, feminine intuition and willingness to reach out to other women for help in solving the horrific crimes committed.

In 1st To Die, we meet Inspector Lindsey Boxer of the San Francisco Police Department’s Homicide Division. She is faced with a series of

brutal murders of brides and grooms on

their wedding days in San Francisco, the

Napa Valley, and Cleveland Ohio. She also

finds she has a significant health challenge, and a new love interest along with the murders.

Lindsey has no female peers in the

police department, and Patterson does a

wonderful job taking us into the often lonely life of the single professional female in a

“man’s” world. But Lindsey has reached

out and developed a close friendship with

the medical examiner, Claire Washburn, an African-American female who becomes a

mother figure to Lindsey. Their friendship and mutual trust provides comfort and

solace as each faces the challenges of the often terrible realities of their work and Lindsey’s illness.

In this first book of the series, Lindsey’s

vulnerability forces her to reach out to the women who will eventually become the Women’s Murder Club. We meet Cindy

Thomas, a budding reporter with the San Francisco Chronicle and Jill Bernhardt, a

hard-driving Asst. District Attorney. While

each is wary of the other at first, they begin

to see that they can trust, rely on, and really

28

help each other through both the case and

accept his return to her life. We also get

as well as evil, and I have to say that I

department, Jacobi. Her skill at solving

personal issues.

The murderer in this novel is clever

was almost totally surprised by the plot

twists. In the end, the Women’s Murder Club decides to consult with each other

informally on future cases, and to nurture the friendships that have developed and grown.

In 2nd Chance, which was written in 2002, the Women’s Murder Club is confronted with a series of seemingly unrelated murders that occur all over the Bay Area. First, a small child is shot by a well-trained sniper. This murder is followed by several

to see growth in the relationship between

Lindsey and her male partner at the police crimes and her willingness to give 110%

result in increased respect from her fellow detectives.

Women’s Murder Club. We see that their lives are not easy, and each is faced with personal crises that seem to draw the

women closer as friends and confidantes. Each woman knows she can count on her

friends for support and help. Much like real

life, the women in the book are able to bond, especially with other women they have grown to respect and admire.

The third novel, 3rd Degree, takes us to another level of understanding with these women. They face

other sniper murders, where all the victims are persons of color. Are these racially

motivated murders, or is there some other

nefarious purpose? The plot takes us from

upscale Palo Alto to the darkest hell holes of the California prison system. Secrets, long

We also get to delve deeper into the

personal lives of each member of the

a threat far greater than any

in the first two novels, both personally

buried, are revealed in an alarming series of

and professionally. Each character takes the

with her father, whom she hasn’t seen

personally? Is each woman really taking

events.

In this book, Lindsey is also reunited

for many years. Their relationship is

complicated due to his earlier abandonment of Lindsey and her mom. Her anger and

ambivalence towards him makes it hard to

helm for part of the book. Each is incredibly competent professionally, but what about good care of herself?

In this book, the antagonist takes on

a much more contemporary face, drawing from events that we all have come to fear.


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Issues facing us today surface

novels by well-known authors

devastating events. How are they

Women’s Murder Club series,

as Lindsey and the WMC search for motives and clues for the linked?

Patterson seems to be able

to hit readers with plot twists

and turns that keep us guessing. It is truly an emotional roller coaster, but one well worth

it. The third book is the most

surprising and gut-wrenching, but I could not put it down.

I personally appreciate

who choose to empower women in traditional male roles. In the

Patterson showcases the strength women have to persevere, stand

toe to toe with an adversary and

most often, win. Patterson gives credence to the fact that women may think differently than men, but that his female characters, working together, are crime solving butt-kickers!

The Happiness Project

is a contagious book. Just like happiness, we all want it. Gretchen Rubin is the author of this wonderfully inspiring novel. She has an epiphany one afternoon when she realizes that “time is passing, and [she’s] not focusing on the things that really matter.” With that, she decides to devote one year to a happiness project. Her project was carefully created while she immersed herself in principles set forth by experts, from Epicurus to Thoreau to Oprah to Martin Seligman to the Dalai Lama, searching for what worked best for her.

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Happiness comes differently to all of us, but with this book, even thinking about beginning the project feels exciting! Rubin’s passion for both happiness and her project jumps right off the pages, and will inspire you to start your own happiness project! The Happiness Project is entertaining and thought-provoking, and you will not be able to put it down. Read along with us! This is a book you will reach for again and again, so we invite you to be a part of our Q&A in your own happiness project!

29


The Onstott Family What is the definition of “My Family”? Our family has lived in

Photography by Moments to Remember Photography

Northern California for so many generations that we have lost track of who’s actually family, and who’s not. We know our obvious relatives (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.), but we’ve adopted (and been adopted by) so many other local families that our “family” is really not just about bloodlines, but about relationships with dear friends and other families created generations ago. Family is what you have when everything else disappears. It’s easy to say you’re connected with people, but the real test is tough times. Who is standing by when the doctor calls with a scary diagnosis? Who is there to pick you up when the job you loved is no longer yours? It’s easy to celebrate the good times, and friends are always standing at the ready for that (which is nice, to be sure). But family is really about who is there, and in what capacity, when needs are greatest. We are so very fortunate to have such loving and supportive family, all around us. We feel extremely blessed and humbled.

ok with failing and picking yourself back up. 2) That the most important “job” I’ll ever have is that of a mother. I didn’t know what she meant until I had my own child. Wrapped up with this was the lesson that to be a great mother, it’s really helpful to be a great wife, and to focus on your marriage as the center of your family. As much as I loved my career on Wall Street, I left when little Jackie was eight months old to be a stay-at-

and that the history that comprises your past (and your parents’ and grandparents’ past) is something to be honored. We all grew up feeling—obviously, over several generations, and in completely different circumstances—that we owed it to ourselves and our family to make the most of our lives. The expectation in our family is that you leave the world a better place than you found it, by raising wonderful children, by focusing on causes that are meaningful, and by being a good friend.

What do you all have in common? We all share a

“Family is what you have when everything else disappears.”

What is the most valuable lesson you have learned from your mother?

Courtney: Hard to pick one thing, so I’ll give you top 3. 1) To be self-sufficient and independent. My parents really value education, and encouraged us to stretch ourselves as kids and young adults. They encouraged me to go to Wall Street to start what was a very rewarding career. Working at Goldman Sachs was the best training I could have asked for; I learned to communicate complex messages clearly to clients, I developed confidence, and I had an absolute blast. My mom has always been a woman who’s not afraid to try something new, and to put herself out there. She taught me that part of being independent is being

30

home mom. Best decision I’ve made yet. 3) There’s no harm in being nice to everyone. I grew up in a particularly cliquey high school, and I remember my mom observing my behavior and sitting me down to remind me that no one will ever be any worse off by being kind. I’ve been struck at how sage this advice is...the world is such a small place! And, frankly, it just feels better to be nice.

What traits to do you hope to pass along to your children and grandchildren? We hope that our

children feel a sense of the legacy we are all a part of. It is so powerful to feel that you are a part of something bigger than yourself,

sense of style, especially in our homes. We all love mixing Asian pieces with more traditional furniture, and none of us shy away from color. We are all quite stubborn (including little Jackie), and fairly outspoken, which can make for fun arguments sometimes! We’re all social in nature, and love to be with family and friends.

Do you have any family traditions? We

host lots of parties and dinners together, and this has always been a tradition in our family. It was a tradition in Grandma’s family as well... Lollie and Daddy Paul hosted some legendary parties! We spend every Christmas and Easter together as a family. One thing we’ve started doing at Christmas is a Secret Santa draw. The children in the family still get gifts from everyone, but all of us adults are assigned one family member to indulge. We found that Christmas was becoming more about the gifts than about the time we were spending together—and frankly, none of us needed another scarf or necktie! Focusing on one person during the holidays allows us to be really thoughtful about that gift, and to spend the time and money we were spending on one another to give back to our communities.

left to right Courtney Baer Smith, Jackie Smith, Jackie Onstott, Christine Onstott Baer


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