Middle Age

BY J.B. COLLUM

Chemical dependency is not a good thing. When I was a teenager back in the Cretaceous period (you probably thought it was the Jurassic period, but I’m not that old), I remember some school acquaintances trying out some illicit drugs, and a couple of those people were good friends. One of them left it at that, just a dalliance, but sadly, the other became an addict. He was never the same again. As sad as it was, it did serve a good purpose: a lesson for me to never even try the stuff, and I didn’t. Well, except for when prescribed by a doctor.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about those prescriptions you fill at a dispensary where you can get gummies, brownies, etc. I mean things like arthritis medicine, pain medicines, behavioral drugs, etc. All legit and nothing that would see me wearing tie-dye shirts and living in a psychedelically painted van with some other like-minded folk as we share our drugs and our love. No, I’m talking about plain old prescriptions I pick up at my local pharmacy. Of course I know that even legal and traditional prescriptions can still be distributed, used and abused in illegal ways, and I know that some formerly illegal drugs are now legal and are being used for medical purposes. I’m not judging.

What I’m really getting at is that drugs can be a blessing and a curse. I recently switched my arthritis medicine to being filled online, but due to some unknown hang-up my latest prescription was not delivered. I woke up this morning in a lot of pain, so decided to see if I could get a refill at my local pharmacy. I used their online app and it informed me that it would be ready by 2:00 today. I sure hope it is.

The blessing part of medications is obvious, so I won’t belabor it. The curse for me is that I must never be without it. And because of how some people abuse the system, patients like me have to jump through hoops to make sure we can get our medicines. Occasionally, a particularly potent pain medicine is even pulled off the market because it was abused. Its crime? Being really good at eliminating pain while also being addictive. You’d think it would be understandable that anything that eliminates pain would be addictive and maybe this can’t even be separated from its palliative properties, but as with all things, seemingly, the idiots among us ruin it for the rest of us. By idiots, I mean all of them; the nefarious criminal dealers, the abusers, and the politicians or bureaucrats who make the rules to try to fix things, or more likely, to assuage their bosses, be they voters or the politicians who appointed them. Don’t get me started on that cesspool though. I think the mantra of these folks is secretly the same as that song, “Let’s Do Something (Even If It’s Wrong)” by Vince Gill. I suppose it is inevitable though. As we age, we all need augmentation. I need glasses in order to read without holding the book or newspaper at least three feet away from my eyes. My arms aren’t long enough for that, so I gave in and got glasses. When my gout is acting up, I need a cane to hobble around. Some need a walker or a wheelchair to stay mobile. One thing that I have learned though is that whatever you need to do to stay mobile, do it. I have seen and even helped take care of folks who got more and more sedentary, and it never ended well. If you don’t use it, you lose it. I used to avoid even taking pain medication, but I learned that if, for example, I had a hurt ankle and I didn’t take pain medicine, I walked in an unnatural way to avoid hurting the ankle more and ended up injuring something else. This can turn into an endless cycle that can result in you not moving around at all, and that is definitely not good because the spiral down from there can put you in an early grave. I have seen that happen to friends and family. Don’t let that happen to you.

There isn’t much I can do about being dependent on my medication, but I am constantly trying to make the acquisition of it as friction-less as possible. Though my attempt to use an online pharmacy has currently hit a snag, I am still hopeful that this is the way to go for most medicines. Time will tell. I’m just trying to make sure that I have plenty of that — time, that is — to find out I hope you do too. Take care of yourselves

J.B. Collum is a local novelist, humorist and columnist who wants to be Mark Twain when he grows up. He may be reached at johnbcollum@ gmail.com