FAMOUS LAST WORDS

by Ken Wilson Steppingstones to Recovery

I’m always intrigued when I read yet another list of famous people’s last words.

Jack Daniel supposedly said, “One last drink please!” A famous mobster whose name I don’t remember: “Bring me a bullet proof vest.” Voltaire: “Now is not the time for making new enemies.” Muhammad Ali: “How do I look?” Elvis Presley: “I’m going to the bathroom to read.” And Steve Jobs: “Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.”

Then there are the famous last words I hear as potential clients leave my office, words like, “I’ll cut back on those pills, Ken.” Or, “I’d like to re-schedule my sign-up for treatment until after the weekend.” Those people quite often never return.Sometimes I see them in the obituary column soon after.

Their famous last words to me were really just saying “I’ll quit tomorrow.” But tomorrow never came. I see disaster more often now that Fentanyl is in the equation (see last month’s article). Regrettably, some never get to utter their chosen last words…maybe nothing more than an unsuspecting, “Goodnight, see you tomorrow.”

The whole issue of resistance to change is so under- standable. In mid and late stages of the disease, an alcoholic doesn’t necessarily drink because he wants to, but because he thinks he has to. He can’t imagine life without some spirits. In fact, when he’s tried to go a few days sober he has withdrawal symptoms, and he drinks again to stop them.

And guess what? It works.

I’ve spoken with hundreds of people who habitually and compulsively use THC on a daily basis and they simply cannot imagine life without their weed. Stopping for a few days sends them into anxiety and sleeplessness like an “earth person” cannot imagine. Most people who do stop using their chemical of choice have a proclivity, an inclination, to use again. They require support and accountability on a daily basis, and the biggest favor family members can extend is to encourage that. They will say to you family members “You don’t understand.” OK. The good news is: you don’t have to understand! Just support your loved one who is in recovery, as they wish to be supported, as long as they’re on the path. Please read the preceding sentence again!

In our Family Workshop (free to the public – Wednesdays 6 – 7:15 p.m.) we have so-called “bumper stickers”

This Is Your Brain

that we repeat to each other often, among them this one: “Words mean nothing. Actions mean everything.”

The same is true for you who are family members — the “affected” as well as the “afflicted.”

Promises, promises. Words are cheap. Actions are gold.

In the world I live in, one of the greatest famous last words given at a funeral is the compliment, “he died sober.”

I hope you’re one of the lucky ones who gets to choose some good last words, not just going to sleep and never waking up. I hope your famous last words go down in history and are more memorable than some of the ones I’ve read!

If I hear about them I’ll send them in to whoever collects these sayings if it’s ok with you.