The Independent Student Newspaper of the University of Toronto Mississauga since 1974
Issue 5 Volume 48
October 4 2021
themedium.ca
The Mental Health Awareness Issue
To You Who Don’t Understand mental health, this is for you Naomi-Nicole Bramer on sharing her battle with depression and chronic illnesses, one letter at a time. Despite struggling with depression, Bramer graduated as an Ontario scholar from Queensway College—a private high school that encourages its students to seek undergraduate studies post-graduation. She chose the University of Toronto Mississauga (UTM) due to its prestigious reputation. In the fall of 2006, she started her undergraduate journey by studying theatre, drama, and English—though she didn’t stick to that plan for long. Bramer’s cousin, who also went to UTM, advised her to take Professor Guy Allen’s WRI203: Creative Writing course. “She knew that I liked writing and that I was already in the English program, the only program that I knew was close to writing,” chuckles Bramer.
Ricardo Jaroslav Valdes Features Editor
CW: Suxicide, mental illness, depression, anxiety To You Who Don’t Understand, I mean no offense. I meant that in the nicest way possible, which is why I write you this letter. To maybe help you understand, even if just a little bit better. But for all of us who do understand, who must live with the experience, I will try to explain it on our behalf. And so, You Who Do Not Understand, I write this letter to you.
“You just say ‘get out of bed,’ but you don’t understand that it feels like a thousand weights on me.”
N
aomi-Nicole Bramer wrote that letter out of frustration when she was a teenager. She wanted her friends, family, parents, brother, sister, and boyfriend at the time to understand what it’s like to live with depression. They always told her that she didn’t have a reason to be depressed and anxious; that she hadn’t experienced any childhood trauma; that she grew up in a happy and loving home. The letter is part of her book titled To You Who Don’t Understand, a collection of short stories, poems, and letters. Bramer admits that she never had any intention of sharing it with anyone. “If you asked me 15 years ago, there’s no way I’m writing a book on mental health,” she says. “I hated the stigma of being labelled as depressed, so I hid it for most of my life.”
“I hated the stigma of being labelled as depressed, so I hid it for most of my life.” Bramer grew up in a very Christian home. According to her, depression and anxiety aren’t looked well upon. “I don’t think my parents understood [my illnesses]. It was hard to tell them I needed help,” she states. Depression is one of the most common mental illnesses worldwide. It negatively affects how a person feels, thinks, and acts. According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression leads to symptoms that vary from mild to severe. These include feeling sad, losing interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed, loss of appetite, difficulty in concentrating, and thoughts of death or suicide. Factors that play into depression include genetics, biochemistry, personality, and environmental surroundings. Individuals suffering from depression may have chemical imbalances in the brain, be overwhelmed by stress, or be exposed to continuous violence, neglect, abuse, or poverty. However, the illness can affect ev-
eryone—even if the individual lives a seemingly ideal life. When Bramer was in high school, she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Her doctors at the time predicted she had been struggling with the illness since the age of 13. “There
were some days where it was hard to get out of bed and [my family] told me to just ‘Get out of bed. Stop being lazy. Force yourself to do something,’” recalls Bramer. “You just say ‘get out of bed,’ but you don’t understand that it feels like a thousand weights on me.”
She achieved one of her highest marks in that course. So much so, Professor Allen asked her if she would like to join the professional writing and communication (PWC) major. Things were going great for her. She had found her place within the UTM community and gained the respect of her professors. But then, her physical health struggles took a massive toll on her mental health—one that would force her to take a seven-year break. Bramer started experiencing stomach problems, sleep problems, fatigue, and emotional and mental distress. After multiple tests, she was diagnosed with gastroparesis and fibromyalgia. Gastroparesis prevents the stomach from digesting food properly. Individuals who suffer from it experience weight loss, lack of appetite, nausea, vomiting, and abdominal pain and bloating. Fibromyalgia, on the other hand, is a form of chronic illness that causes pain all over the body. Bramer later found out she also had lupus, an autoimmune disease that attacks the body’s tissues and organs. “It’s been a long road. The thing with autoimmune diseases is that they’re very hard to diagnose,” she explains. “I had two misdiagnoses where doctors told me it was something and then more symptoms presented themselves.” Bramer’s snowball effect of problems isn’t rare. In February 2021, the Canadian Institute for Health Information released their annual survey titled How Canada Compares. In it, they found that 63 per cent of Canadians with a mental health condition also reported having another chronic condition. Mental health illnesses like depression and anxiety are often symptoms of chronic illnesses. >> Bramer continues on page 09