Welcome to Adultish magazine. The publication to unite all of the almostadults out there. Those trapped in grownup limbo, stuck between adolescence and adulthood. The ones who don’t understand their pay slip, can’t make a good stew, can barely remember to pay the bills on time. It’s one of the scariest stages in life. Some people are getting a six-figure mortgage with their new fiancé whilst others are moving back in with their parents after another unsuccessful job interview. Everything seems new and confusing, you realise how ill prepared you are to take on the big, bold adult world, fresh out of the adolescent womb. Thankfully, this purgatorial state won’t last forever. One day you’ll wake up (on time) to sun pouring through your custom-ordered curtains, grab your cashmere dressing gown and switch on the Nespresso machine and you’ll realise: you’ve left limbo. The days of 1pm lie-ins and pot noodle for breakfast are long gone. You are an adult. But for now, rejoice in your almost-adult state. Learn the basics of grown-up life but don’t get caught up in the little things. It’s not childish. It’s adultish.
@adultishmagazine
How to Make Friends in your Twenties
The Most Adult Object You Own
The Pension Genie
To Read or Not to Read Receipt
An Interview with Filmmaker Charlie Lyne
Contraceptive Makes Me...
Advice from Mother to Daughter
A Very Glamourous Year Abroad
The Most Grown-Up Object You Own
Capturing Females in Transition
Living with your Parents: A Survival Guide
Send to a Friend
HOW TO
MAKE
FRIENDS 1. LEAVE THE HOUSE
IN YOUR
TWENTIES 2. WATCH *INSERT POPULAR TV PROGRAM*
This one is for beginners. Comb your hair, put on some shoes and interact with other humans - you’re on the first step to friendship.
Sharing interests with other humans is key in the bonding process. By engaging in the latest tv show trend, you’ll have a talking point guaranteed to spark conversation with 80%* of the population.
*statistics vary with television program
3. U P
There are hundreds of stories about being pals for life with man’s best friend. However, no one ever discusses the other friendships made just by owning a dog. Strolling through the park with your new pooch, surrounded by other dog owners with a HUGE (fluffy) thing in common. Et voila, loads of potential friendships in the making.
SOCI A L M EDIA YO U R G A ME
4. GE
If you’re too shy to conquer real life friendship, delve into the virtual world. A complimentary tweet here, a friendly like there, you’re on the road to a beautiful internet friendship.
T
A
G DO
5. G
(*CHILD WILL ALSO WORK)
ET
UNK DR Every girl knows making friends in the club toilets is easy. Yes, you’re slightly intoxicated and yes, you may not remember the girl’s name in the morning BUT it’s a key first step. Savour that girl-to-girl contact, you’re on the first step of the friendship ladder.
Dear Agony Adult I get the worst FOMO (fear of missing out) every time any one does anything without me. It’s starting to haunt my every thought, even when I open social media I dread seeing what other people are doing in case it awakens the dreaded FOMO monster. How can I stop this from happening? Thanks, Victor FOMO Monster Dear Ms. Fomo Monster Unfortunately, in today’s society FOMO is inevitable. If you really want to avoid it my best advice would be to move to a warm, cosy cave in the middle of nowhere with questionable wi-fi and limited contact with other humans. Hope this helps, The Agony Adult
I wake up in a hot sweat, delirious after an all too vivid dream. I’d broken up with my long-term boyfriend and was sleeping with my new boss to get a pay rise – doesn’t seem too far-fetched. Amongst the duvet covers my laptop lies open, a crisp packet rustles as I roll over, remnants of a night spent looking for spa breaks in Bali that could be paid off monthly with zero interest. On the bedside table my phone buzzes, multiple missed calls from my mother asking whether I’d paid my rent yet and a friend request from an old-school friend. I open Facebook and browse her profile; freelance travel journalist, living in Shoreditch, unfathomably attractive boyfriend. Her timeline is bursting with photos of her in every holiday destination I’d ever dreamed of: Tokyo, the Maldives, …Bali. Interspersed are profile updates and check-ins to events she’d attended on the weekend. I scroll down further “Congrats Char! You’re going to make the most beautiful bride”. I freeze. Heart beating in my ears, mouth void of saliva, my eyes fixed to the screen taking in the girl living my dream life. I’m 23, working at a job I’m over-qualified for earning barely enough money to cover a tiny box-room in a shared house and my subconscious is telling me to end the only relationship I’d ever had.
I was having a quarter life crisis. Figures state that 75% of people aged 25-33 have experienced a quarter-life crisis. So, chances are, if you haven’t already, you’re going to have one. Key characteristics include: questioning the meaning of existence, being hyper-aware you’re living the ‘best years of your life’ and listening to Taylor Swift’s 22 on repeat whilst staring at your overdraft statement. However, it’s completely normal. It’d be more worrying if you were completely oblivious to the terror of your twenties and living life like a carefree teenager. Your twenties are a time to have a massive freaking melt-down, two if necessary. Comparison is going to crush you. Yes, Char might have landed her dream job, dreamier fiancé and be planning the wedding of the year. But try to be happy for her remember, 42% of marriages end in divorce. It’s not a race, you’ll get there, even if it takes several fiancés, twenty dead-end jobs and a short period spent living with your parents. Your twenties aren’t for having everything planned. They’re for getting blackout drunk, maxing out your credit card on over-priced shoes and having at least one quarter-life crisis.
Your student loan may seem like a staggering amount of money. But, contrary to what many of you may believe, there is no need to be worried about repaying the huge sum. 9%. That’s the percentage you repay of everything you earn above the £25,000 threshold. So if you’re earning £26,000, you’ll only pay back £90 a year (because £26,000 is £1,000 above the threshold and 9% of £1,000 is £90). If you’re earning £35,000 you’ll pay back £900 a year (because £35,000 is £10,000 above the threshold and 9% of £10,000 is £900). If you lose your job or your wages drop below £25,000 your repayments drop accordingly.
Even with the added interest, it is unlikely that you will end up repaying the entire borrowed amount unless you’re earning towards the higher end of the income scale. After 30 years, all the remaining debt is wiped and if you never got a job above the repayment threshold, you won’t have had to repay a penny. Plus, it comes automatically out of your wages so there’s no risk of a debt collector hunting you down for repayments. Think of it less as a big, scary loan and more as a monthly tax for going to university and getting a degree, without which you wouldn’t have a job in the first place. Repeat after us: 9% is nothing.
Dress Up: A Fully Functioning Adult in her Twenties
Shoes: You don’t care what brand they are but they’re also the brand everyone else is wearing. Must be slightly scuffed (too clean = no social life)
Canvas Bag: Bought from a museum on one of your mini breaks. Shows the world how cultured you are
Hat: You will never wear this, however it will be an important part of your ‘maybe one day’ wardrobe
Underwear: Comfort always trumps style, do not even consider a thong - you are not a teenager anymore. Must be matching or you obviously do not have your life together.
Slogan tee: You’re an adult now, everyone needs to know your political veiws - so wear them
Mom jeans: Skinny jeans and love handles do not mix. Make sure everyone knows you’re getting ready for parenthood with a pair of mom jeans. Rips are not advised – adults with exposed knees are more at risk from frostbite
Technology: This is your life support, without these accessories you cannot survive. Carry them on your person at all times.
Socks: Even in adulthood you will not find a matching pair, especially the morning of an important meeting. Wear them bravely, confident in your individuality
To Read or Not Fundamentally there are 2 types of people. Those who turn on their read receipts and those who run in fear at the mere thought of the haunting “READ XX:XX” display. Unsurprisingly, the majority of 18-24 yearold girls I know fall into the latter category. Their online communications dictated by the illumination of two double blue ticks, like beacons of self-destruction. Whether it’s iMessage, Whatsapp or Facebook Messenger, it’s virtually impossible to escape the anxiety-inducing grasp of read receipts in whatever manifestation they present themselves. And now, it seems it isn’t just the harrowing ‘seen’ notification which causes such angst. A new layer of virtual tabkeeping is adding to our online torment: the extensive list of screen-names indicating who has viewed your Snapchat or Instagram story. A digital inventory of friends and acquaintances
who have taken the time to look through a window into your life. Statistics predict that 1824 year-olds check their phones approximately 43 times per day. These figures obviously haven’t factored in a 21-year-old girl checking to see if that guy she almost slept with at the weekend has viewed the Insta-story of her nonchalantly posing in a slightly smudged studenthalls mirror. Or an angry girlfriend, fingers poised for battle at the keyboard, waiting for an indication that her partner has read the lengthy message accusing him of cancelling plans to watch the football. Aside from the gut-wrenching anxiety of waiting for a ‘seen’ notification to appear, there’s the soul-crushing humiliation when someone has read your message but not replied straight away. Or worse, left you in virtual limbo for more than an hour. Waiting in anticipation, wondering what you’ve done wrong
To Read Receipt? Seen Fri 12:52 PM
or what came up that’s so important your recipient can’t reply. We construct entire narratives around the read receipt, fantasy lands of made-up obstacles halting our receiver from replying or restricting them from using their phone.
inescapable guilt creeping up on you after 20 minutes of white-noise. When internet communications were strictly sanctioned to dial up connections and the idea of being able to reply to an email on the go was stuff of fantasy.
Even if we’re not waiting for a read receipt to magically appear, we’re often dodging one. Deleting notifications and avoiding opening certain apps to escape the pressure of replying instantly. Not opening a message immediately upon arrival at the risk of looking too keen, or, god forbid, that you’ve been sat waiting for a reply.
But why should we let our digital correspondence be dictated by such a dystopian concept? We’re already drowning in social anxiety, without the added complication of tell-tale technology. As a generation, should we boycott the read receipt? Or just make a pact to ignore it? One thing is certain; in the chaotic world we live in, allowing someone the time and space to answer your message at their own pace is the least we can do. Even if they did read it 3 hours ago...
Gone are simpler times of “sorry only just seen this”. Days when pay-as-you-go meant you could leave a text un-replied to without the
At 21 Charlie Lyne began the intrepid journey of dissecting the coming of age movies he had loved so in his teen years. Part adolescent fever dream, part probing visual essay, the film puts Hollywood’s high school under the microscope, on a quest to lay bare the genre’s beating heart. Narrated by cult teen star Fairuza Balk, Beyond Clueless is a dizzying journey into the mind, body and soul of the teen movie, as seen through the eyes of over 200 modern coming-of- age classics. We caught up with Charlie 3 years since the film’s release to discuss the tropes, clichés and cult-appeal of the teen film... Where did the obsession with teen films start? All the films that are in Beyond Clueless are films that I watched as a teenager and I think at the time it was a very casual obsession. But when I entered my twenties and started re-watching them, I got more of a fixation on it as a genre. Primarily because these films which I had such a nostalgic feeling for, seemed like they’d never been given the time of day by critics in any medium. I would re-watch one of these films and then I would look for the original reviews for when it first came out and they were all so surface and insubstantial, basically just plot synopsis. Even though as a genre, these films are targeting themselves at an audience that are incredibly vulnerable and susceptible which to me felt like the most vital thing to analyse rather than the least. It began as a sort of desire to give them the critical interrogation they deserved. But not wanting to hold them at arms-length because I think a big part of their power is their raw emotional potency. I wanted essentially to critique them but also embrace them and conjure up the energy that they hold. That was where the idea of making it an essay film came from, so it could feel somewhat of a teen film in itself. Yeah, they definitely aren’t taken as seriously as other Hollywood movies… Yes, it would amaze me when I would read these reviews! Some of the theories in Beyond Clueless are very tame and pretty straightforward interpretations. Like with Eurotrip for instance; it’s very hard for anyone, applying any level of scrutiny to that film to not see that
there’s a theme of anxiety around sexuality. Yet you read the reviews that came out at the time and they’re just refusing to look at all beyond the most surface, straight forward description of what happens in the film. They don’t consider it worthy of analysis – it just seemed like a missed opportunity. Do you think that is changing a bit now, with the likes of Ladybird coming out to such a big reception? I think Ladybird is a great example of something that could have gone either way. There’s always been art house teen movies that have fared better critically than mainstream teen movies and often the actual reality of the film is not that different. But what is different is the way it is marketed, the way it is talked about. Ladybird has a fancy indie looking poster and Greta Gerwig is an acclaimed writer so it ticks all the right boxes to get a proper hearing from critics. It’s also set in the past, starring a lot of revered actors. I think that the shame is there is a divide. We respond one way when a credible filmmaker like Greta Gerwig makes teen movie and we treat it on one set of terms versus when more inexperienced first time filmmakers would make studio teen movies they were just written off or ignored like fluff. What do you think you learnt from making Beyond Clueless? I had never made a film prior to it so everything was a learning curve. From the most meaningful artistic lessons down to the most banal, like learning how to manage my accounts. In terms of the significant stuff I think it really drove home to me the power of film as a medium to critique. Because I’d been working as a film critic for years before that I had a fair bit of experience writing film criticism but I had that added ingredient of being able to represent those thoughts through sound and picture. Although I knew the basic things you would gain with that, I didn’t have a sense of the radical difference it would make. How much more leeway it would give me to play with more abstract ideas. One of the hardest things, the holy grail of film criticism as a written medium, is describing mood and atmosphere and giving a sense of how something feels. So, having the shortcut to that, which you’re given in a visual medium, was such an amazing critical tool. It definitely changed the way I think about criticism.
To me that life always seemed so impossible to even imagine; when you look at these 20-something year old stars and the perpetually sunny Hollywood high schools, it just felt so unrealistic
What were your teenage years like and how did you identify with certain teen films? Because the superficial appearance of Hollywood teen movies is so different to what we know living in the UK I took it for granted that it was this sort of alternate world. So, part of me at least in a direct sense wasn’t really looking for myself in it, I couldn’t have even imagined what I would mean in that universe. Looking back with a bit of distance from it, I can absolutely see aspects of myself in various characters. For example, I was the kid that spent a lot of time in the art department which is a cliché of various teen movies and I was certainly incredibly anxious about sexuality for years which likewise is incredibly recurrent trope. Maybe it was happening subconsciously but I definitely wasn’t looking for a reflection in those movies. If anything I was looking more for an escape. It’s funny because even talking to Americans about the film, who you would think would have a more direct one-to-one experience watching them, it’s still so incredibly exaggerated and heightened compared to their experience. There’s something about those films that allows you learn a huge amount from them by accident. They all finish with very idealised endings, the girl gets the guy, lands the dream job, lives happily ever after etc. Are they giving an unrealistic expectation of reality to teens watching?
them. Only because the archetypes always seem so cliché that I can’t imagine someone seeing exactly themselves. There would always be a layer of distance. I mean did you have an onscreen character that you completely To me it would always have seemed so impossible to even related to? imagine when you look at these 20-something year old stars and the perpetually sunny Hollywood high schools, Not really, but there were always bits of characters that I found relatable… it just felt so far away. But then again, I remember when Skins came out and I was about the same age as those Yeah, I remember that feeling, which was definitely characters. At my school, we always used to laugh at it stronger than at any other age, where everything you see because it was so obviously trying to be edgy and cool. seems to be commenting directly on your life. You’re very So, there was a layer of distance but at the same time self-involved at that age and you do get that sense of I’m sure I would have looked at that and aspired to the “Wow it’s like fate that I’m seeing this now”. That this plot confidence and abandon that they had. arch which is probably the most universal thing ever, it’s like a horoscope that could be applied to anyone in any I think the mistake that people fall into ] when talking scenario, and they would find something familiar in it. But about teen movies is assuming that teenagers are either at the time it feels kind of magic. That’s bigger than teen watching them with complete earnest longing to follow movies though, it’s just art in general. the lessons they set or they’re disinterested. Whereas I think the main way that teenagers interact with these films If every teen film follows the same basic principles, is on a slightly ironic level – they’re aware of the tropes, the clichés of the genre. As well as enjoying it and finding why are they so popular? If you can watch them and guess what’s going to happen in the end why do people something to aspire to. The genre is so repetitive and so self-referential that you can’t immerse yourself in it without continue to watch them? And make them even? becoming quite savvy. I think that is why. One of the most satisfying things in consuming any media is observing a pattern and variation Do you think it is a bit of a comfort when you do see a from the pattern. That’s certainly what kept me interesting bit of yourself in the characters? while I was sitting there watching 250 of these films. The characteristics are so much stronger than in any other Thinking: “Oh they’re in doing the hallway scene or at a house party or oh they’re back in the swimming pool.” fictional characters so it’s hard to see your entire self in
That was one thing I really wanted to ask! What is the obsession with the swimming pool? It’s so weird! The funny thing about it is, it isn’t like most of the tropes where the films know that they’re being repetitive. They all think they’re doing it for the first time, so they never reference each other. They all think it’s this genius original scene that is going to mark them out. But the pool sequence in Beyond Clueless is made up from at least 10 films. It was one of the first sequences I cut, you could literally put any 2 shots together and it looked like they were from the same film except the actors had changed. Why do you think it is such a cult genre? I think it feels unloved which is the first ingredient for anything with cult appeal. And that’s whether it is or not, some of these movies are wildly successful financially. I think watching teen films as a teenager you have a different interpretation of it than your parents which immediately makes you feel like you’re in on something, bonding you to others. And for the less successful films, when you’re 1 of 100 mega fans of Idle Hands you find these people on the Internet and you have this shared interest. I think a lot of it is well primed for cult appeal. Do you think the term Coming of Age is thrown around too much at the moment? Not just in film, but in literature, media, photography, the phrase Coming of Age is assigned, is it just a trend? I’d love to know when that began being applied to film. Because in my mind it’s one of those terms that’s used to suggest something a bit more classy than a teen movie. Like: “Netflix has a new teen series out but Greta Gerwig has made a Coming of Age film”. I think often it’s not even the filmmakers themselves that are insisting on that dichotomy, it’s just the way people are responding to them. That said I don’t think it’s a terrible descriptor. When I was trying to decide what qualified as a teen movie I tried to have as broad definition as possible so as not to limit myself. I narrowed the defining characteristic down to if it was a film about young people travelling towards adulthood. They don’t have to get there but there must be some suggestion of a journey. However, “Coming of Age” makes me think that at the end they’re “of age”. Whereas what unifies a lot of the films that are in Beyond Clueless is that by end they’re only just beginning to travel towards adulthood. Yeah I think it would be boring if at the end of every teen film they were magically adults, it would give a very unrealistic perspective…
Right, I was 21 when I started making the film and I certainly felt like I was very far away from my teen years at that point. Now at 26, 21 feels like I was basically still in my teen years and I would be hesitant to even say I was “of age” now. It feels very optimistic to think anyone would have learnt everything they had to learn by age 18. It’s funny the things that can make you feel like an adult. The less and less I get ID’d at the pub it’s like “oh yeah people look at me and see someone in their mid-twenties” which I think is the closest anyone gets to feeling adult: feeling other people look at them as an adult. I’m at the age where I’m getting invited to at least a couple of weddings a year. But I still, in going to them, feel like I should be sat at the kids table. I think when you start viewing other people who are younger than you as adults, that’s when it gets scary. Yeah, that is the terrible coda now that whenever I do get ID’d in the pub, the person that’s behind the bar goes “oh you’re older than me”. But at least I’m still young enough to play a teenager in an American teen movie. What is your favourite teen film? The one that always comes to mind, partly because it’s the one that set me down the road to making Beyond Clueless is Eurotrip. Primarily because it’s where a lot of these ideas came from. It is a film that got absolutely slated on its original release, made very little money, was completely written off but I think for all its flaws it’s actually a really smart, really funny, sincerely good film. It just blew my mind.
The contraceptive pill is a bitch. A two-faced bitch. One day she’s your best friend, helping you prevent unwanted pregnancy, the next she’s making you eat a jumbo tub of mint-choc-chip whilst sobbing at Sex and the City. At times, she’s your best friend, the companion you travel everywhere with, the gal you meet for a drink every night. Yes, you two got off to a rocky start, bit of irregular bleeding here, some menstrual cramps there but after a while you got into a routine and you’ve been inseparable ever since. She’s your wingman, your side kick. However, are women turning away from their faithful old friend? When the contraceptive pill was launched in the sixties it was a hallelujah moment for women’s rights - giving them the freedom to have sex without the risk of pregnancy. Today however, the pill’s popularity is on the decline as women embrace other contraceptive options. A lot of women are opting for natural methods of contraception involving tracking the menstrual cycle and keeping a daily record of fertility signals. New apps make this more practical to do and allow for women to easily practise natural birth control. With more and more reports linking the Pill to mental health issues, women are avoiding oral contraception in favour of other devices such as the coil, implant or injection to prevent pregnancy. The Pill does have a range of benefits, which make most women perfectly happy whilst taking it. However not all women get along with the hormonal contraception and if you have underlying health conditions it may be ruled out immediately. Ultimately it’s about speaking to your doctor and understanding the best option for you. As well as trying things to see how your body reacts. Don’t rule anything out and don’t listen to other women’s gaining-weight-bleeding-uncontrollably horror stories. One women’s birth control nightmare is another’s contraceptive bestie.
Illustration by Dorota Liwacz
Advice from Mother to Daughter We asked four mothers to pass on some advice to their daughters transitioning into adulthood
Dear Agony Adult, I’ve just moved into my first flat. Do I need home insurance? I don’t really know what it is or how necessary it is. Kind Regards, A happy home owner x Dear happy home owner, Congratulations on the new home! Home insurance is probably a good idea; if you get broken into and someone steals your avocado slicer you want to be covered, right? To work out how much contents cover you need, walk around your home and add up the value of the items in each room yes that includes the invaluable signed picture of Mike from Tracy Beaker and your 5 year old bath mat. Happy counting, The Agony Adult
Words and imagery by Kate Robertson
Everyone tells you your year abroad will be “the best year of your life”, “the making of you” and a “once in a lifetime experience.” Well, they’re not completely wrong. When you make a ‘rendez-vous’ (yes, seriously) with the bank and come out with a foreign bank account, you feel great. When you ask one of your students how they are and they reply, in English, ‘I’m wonderful!’, you think teaching is your vocation. And when your family come to visit and you regurgitate facts about the cathedral you learnt on your first week here, you feel like a native. However, the ‘glamourous year abroad’ also comes with a lot of hiding in your room from your weird french flatmates. It comes with a year of rudeness from french waitors because tipping isn’t the norm. And for me it was realising that no matter how much I love France, my glamourous year abroad was not without my fair share of Dorothy ‘there’s no place like home’ moments.
A very glamourous year abroad
A very glamourous year abroad
A very glamourous year abroad
Relationships IRL are not as they appear on Instagram We all know that couple. If not in real life at least on the social stratosphere of Instagram. Their profiles read like an advert for World’s Most in Love Pairing. Featuring effortlessly candid shots of them and their equally in-love other half eating icecreams on sandy Mediterranean beaches or cuddling adorably Andrex-ad-worthy puppies. They post captions with inordinate amounts of heart emojis and the phrase “lucky girl” is thrown around like confetti. They are the source of backhanded comments and heated rows in other relationships. “Why don’t you ever buy me flowers for no reason like Jen’s boyfriend?!” “We never go away on impromptu trips to Hawaii!”. Their movie-like romance causes jealousy amongst girls that don’t even know them and relationship comparison soon kicks in. But the sad fact is, it’s all a lie. Her photo stream is filled with 50 ditched attempts trying to capture that ‘unexpected kiss’ and her boyfriend is complaining at
getting chapped lips from the repeated lip-to-cheek contact. The spontaneous flowers aren’t because he ‘just felt like it’ but because he nearly got with her mate in a club at the weekend. It’s all a game of smoke and mirrors. Social media sleight of hand. In reality, no relationship is as perfect as it appears on Instagram. And if it was surely we’d all be bored. Who could stand their mates rejoicing about how perfect their other-half is every single time you meet for a bevvy in Spoons. What we really crave is the nitty-gritty. The dirty-shoes-on-the-new-Persianrug gossip. Something to moan about, the details that prove everyone is still human. Perfect is boring. So next time you see that textbook Insta-couple bombarding your timeline with #perfectguy #myforever #solucky, smile in the knowledge of their dirty little secret. Whether you’re desperately single or in a not-quite-perfect relationship, remember that compairosn is a self-esteem killer. Especially in the digital age.
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Dear Agony Adult I’ve finished uni and am worried about getting my first proper job. Am I right to be worried? Can you give me some tips on where to even start? Love, The Unemployed
Dear Unemployed, Entering the world of work is tough. First things first, have you got thick skin? You’re going to be repeatedly turned down until you’re losing the will to live and are eating beans straight from the tin for breakfast. Think of this as an initiation into your desired career. Once at this soulless, down-hearted stage, congrats you’re on your way to employment! You’ll be hired in no time. Good luck, The Agony Adult
Illustration by Natalia Kubica
Scented candles, reed diffusers and plug-in air fresheners are your best friends. Use them excessively to mask the smell If you can’t paint the walls cover them in posters, prints and any other paper paraphernalia to disguise the ugly cream paint job Plants. They’ll keep you calm and help you breathe. And in times of despair, act as someone to talk to Invest in noise cancelling headphones. Your neighbours will not listen to your complaints and will play drum and bass at 3am Fill your space with distractions. Books, records, DVDs; things to transport you from your mouldy surroundings and into another world Own at least one nice plate. Even the grimmest of meals can look appetising on a willow-patterned plate. If you have the luxury of an outdoor space, visit it whenever possible. Fresh air and peace and quiet can cure almost anything.
This may seem like a big boring read, but trust us, it’s kinda important. Surely there’s nothing more grown-up than getting that first foot on the property ladder. You’ve reached the pinnacle of adulthood. Mortgage statement in one hand, scented candles in the other, from here the only way is up.
landing your first job or getting married, buying a house is an iconic moment in the Coming of Age saga.
Or so it seems.
THE INDECISIVE COMMITMENT-PHOBES
There are a thousand articles arguing for and against renting. Preaching the advantages of mortgages and why paying monthly is, unbeknown to most, the devil reincarnated. It’s one of the most important decisions you will make financially and unfortunately requires quite a bit of thought.
For the generation that is estimated to have 10 different jobs before they turn 40, flexibility plays a vital role in our lives. One day you’re working in a bar 20 minutes from your childhood home, the next you’re offered your dream career over 200 miles away. Unlike our parents, we won’t have the same career our entire lives and deciding to change paths is a lot easier. However, this also makes the decision to buy a house and “settle down” a difficult conundrum.
“Invest in property” is a mantra spoken a lot in today’s adult world. Getting a mortgage and buying a house seen as a key point in the growing up timeline. Like
However, is it really a necessity?
The second thing to consider is commitment. As a generation, we appear to be seemingly commitment-phobic, not only in relationships but in making any semi-difficult decision. Spoilt for choice, we can barely decide where to go for dinner, never mind where we want to live for the next 30 years. Whilst consuming imagery on a daily basis we’re constantly bombarded with information that brags about the endless options available and as a result we’ve become a generation of indecisive techheads. This decision paralysis makes choosing to buy a house almost impossible and could be the cause for the decline in first time buyers. This aversion to owning property makes renting a more attractive option. Instead of fully committing
to the adult pool, maybe just stick your toe in, test out the waters. You still have somewhere to live and treat as your own, except unlike the obligation of a mortgage, you could drop everything and leave at a moment’s notice giving 2-4 weeks’ notice. You could book a one way ticket and emigrate to Hawaii, you could lose your job and move back in with your parents, you could take a 4-month sabbatical in the mountains learning Tai Chi with Nepalese monks. Essentially, renting gives you more freedom. It may also allow you to live in a more desirable (read: trendy, posh, low-crime-rate) area where ordinarily you wouldn’t be able to afford the house prices but the cost of renting is within your budget. Instead of taking an hour to drive to work from your small suburban new-build, you’ll be walking five minutes to work from your citycentre apartment with its 19th century mouldings and 24-hour concierge. Of course, everyone knows that renting offers no return investment. You will be contributing money into a property that will never be yours. Unwillingly at the mercy of a landlord as legally they are the owner. If you want to make changes to your home you’ll often have to ask their permission too, you can’t go painting walls various shades of Farrow & Ball without asking them first. On the other hand, it’s also their responsibility to carry out any maintenance; so, if you’re not DIYinclined, or don’t have the money to cover the cost of a new boiler, being a tenant might be a good option. At the end of the day if you can’t choose where to go for dinner, you need flexibility and you aren’t in a secure place financially renting is the more favourable option. Not owning is better than getting repossessed, ending up on the street and begging your parents to stop work on the ‘new gym’ so you can move back into your former bedroom. Don’t be stigmatised by the arguments
Asking parents for help funding a deposit is shitty and causes anxiety It might not always be easy to sell your home, depending on what’s happening in the market. You have to pay the maintenance costs if the roof starts leaking If you stretch your budget when you buy you might not have money for meals out, holidays and new shoes If you’re living with someone and split up, deciding what to do with the property can be complicated and expensive and also shitty If the value of your home falls, you might be unable to sell if you owe more to your mortgage lender than your home is worth You’ll have to buy your own furniture which sounds fun but is actually really fucking expensive You also have to buy really boring things like a washing mahcine against renting, if it suits you better do it for as long as you want. MAYBE A MORTGAGE Alternatively, you might be thinking of getting a mortgage. And there’s NOTHING wrong with that. There are plenty of positives to buying a house and taking out a loan to do that. There is also lots of help on offer from the government for first time buyers to entice
Stop buying a coffee EVERY morning Stop buying things for the home you haven’t even moved int yet. Yes, that Anthropology throw was just too cute to leave but it needs a home to go in first Plant a money tree Beg your parents Pray for the death of an unknown, distant relative who happens to have you in their will Marry rich (this also means you will no longer need a to buy/rent a house, win win) Be involved in an accident that wasn’t your fault Help to Buy ISAs allow you to save some money tax free and if you use the money for a mortgage deposit the governement will add 25% to it For god’s sake just budget you on to the property ladder. Being a homeowner offers long-term benefits in terms of security, equity and potential growth in personal wealth. Once your mortgage is paid you legally own the home and can do with it what you like. Giving you even more freedom than renting. However, before that debt is paid off you have the responsibility of covering the repayments monthly, including interest. Becoming a home owner may seem big and exciting and a definitive step into ‘adulthood’ but if you’re not in a position to do this financially, it’s better to revisit your other options. Coming up with a deposit can also be difficult, especially for those of us who find it hard to save up for a pair of shoes never mind a £10,000+ downpayment. There are lots of aspects to consider before getting aboard the mortgage train. Can you afford the
ticket? Do you plan on staying for a long period of time? If you are boarding with a partner, are you both committed? Don’t rush it and don’t be scared either. Yes, it’s complicated and grown-up but essentially it’s just a really big IOU so don’t let the numbers put you off. There are plenty of people to help. When the time comes to make the decision on which option (if either) is right for you: think carefully. Ignore the stigma attached to renting and the ‘adultness’ of a mortgage. Consider every option. If you want to buy an orange 70s VW and live in that then go for it. Just do what’s best for you.
To get you started on the (very boring) process we’ve outlined the VERY BASICS to think about when getting a mortgage. There’s lots more but you have to start somewhere...
main ones are fixed rate (interest you’re charged stays the same for a number of years, typically between two to five years) and variable rate (interest you pay can change).
First things first, do you actually have enough money to do this. Sit down and work out the the maximum amount you can afford to borrow
Unfortunately, as well as the cost of the mortgage there are some other added expenditures to consider. These include: Arrangement fee: the money you pay the lender for setting up the loan (a con, we know) Valuation: the cost for an inspection of your new home Legal fee: you need a solicitor, end of story Stamp Duty: basically a tax when buying a home* Removal Costs: If have furniture etc. you may need to pay to transport it to your new crib Furniture: A new home often means more rooms to fill and sofas are a lot more expensive than you think Scented candles: a must for every new home, will also help cover the smell of the previous owner’s dog Therapy (for the existential crisis when you realise you’ll be paying this back for 25 years) * first-time buyers are exempt from stamp duty on the first £300,000 of homes worth up to £500,000. If a first time buyer buys a property worth more than £500,000, this does not apply.
Before even applying check your credit score. If it’s not looking great, try to improve (i.e. avoid your overdraft like it’s the plague and pay bills on time) You need to put down a deposit on the property. The bigger the deposit the better (bigger deposit = lower interest rates). A Help to Buy scheme may help you if you’re struggling. It only applies to new builds worth under £600,000 but means the government will help you to buy a property Understand that a mortgage is just a very big loan that takes a long time to pay off. It is secured to your home, this means if you can’t repay the money the lender has the right to repossess the property. Mortgages can be confusing as there’s lot of different types. The two
The property ladder is like a private members club only your parents and teachers can join
Your iron is sat at the back of the cupboard collecting dust. If something is creased you either use hair straighteners or nothing.
Takeaway is a valid food group
The bank of mum and dad is still a credible source of income
Your weekly shop consists of Pom Bears and Pot Noodle
You come to terms with the prospect of death rather than ringing the doctors
You still use the phrase “When I Grow Up�
We chat with female photographers capturing girls on the journey from adolescence to adulthood; questioning their casting process, inspiration and the influence of growing up as a woman.
Capturing
A L M O S T A D U LT
G i r l s
Maria Marrone
What drew you to focus on young females in your work? I think young women was sort of something that happened. When I started making photographs, my friends were my first subjects and they were the ones I was able to find the most chemistry with because I feel like I knew how to photograph them? Photography to me is a lot about connecting with the person that I’m capturing and I think when I was younger, women were the easiest subjects because I saw myself in them. I think the older I get, the more interested I’ve become in photographing people that are very different from me. I’ve been photographing a lot of men because I want to see if I can find parts of myself there and also have them find parts of themselves in me. Can you describe the narrative of your imagery? I mostly shoot people I love. I shoot people as I feel them in my emotional relationships with them. How do you cast the women you shoot? I don’t ever really cast people. The people in my photographs are all people I know. I either ask them to take their photo because there’s something about their personality that I want to emphasize in my shoots, or they ask me to shoot them. But it’s important for me to be able to connect with them at a significant level for the photo to get made. Where do you normally shoot? In my apartment because that’s where I have my equipment and I hate transporting things on the train, haha. Are their certain emotions you like to try and capture in your work? It’s not so much about emotion as it is about feeling. I know that sounds confusing but they both very separate in my head. When I go to photograph my mother, I don’t go into it thinking “I wanna show how sad she is”. I go into it thinking “I wanna see if I can capture how warm she is”. Hope that makes sense? What/who do you look to for inspiration? I have a lot of photographer friends that really inspire me. A lot of them have backgrounds that differ from me in some ways and that really helps me open up my world view. How has growing up as a woman influenced your work? I sort of hate this question because I feel like it’s a type of question that is only asked to women artists. Being a woman is a part of my context and it comes with a lot of social politics in terms of how I operate in the world. The same way as being a person of colour does. The same way that being an immigrant does. The approach I have to my creative process is focused on the way in which I understand myself and my place in the world. Without meaning to sound arrogant because my work is nowhere near this level, when one looks at Michelangelo’s Creation of Man, we don’t really feel the need to ask the question of how his manhood has influenced that piece. When one looks at that piece, we think about man’s place on Earth and the relationship of man and God. That’s a shitty example but you get the gist, lol. My biggest aspiration is for my work to stand out outside of my womanhood because even if I am photographing women, I want the themes and the feelings in the images to be more about their humanity. There are images I make where femininity and feminine energy are stronger focuses, but I like to think there’s always something else to it as well. I have a photo set of a flamenco dancer on my Instagram where her femininity is very present but so is her freedom, her passion, her focus. That to me is much more interesting.
Photography by: Maria Marrone
Can you describe the narrative of your imagery? I feel the photos have a bit of a documentary style. I’d say the running narrative is the soft colour palette and relaxed style of the subjects.
Photography by: Heather Lighton
Heather Lighton I’m really interested in your series featuring young women. What drew you to focus on young females in your work? As a woman who has been their age but has now surpassed it I wanted to explore youth now with girls I found to be very beautiful. However, I wanted to talk to them and spend time with them and ask them questions. This took the project beyond the gaze.
How do you cast the women you shoot? The first book was literally street cast as well as scouring Instagram. For the second book i did a shout out on social media and got submissions but i also street cast. Where do you normally shoot? This changes constantly but it’s often on local streets. I meet up with each girl a few times so we can form a relationship. Are their certain emotions you like to try and capture in your work? I’m always looking for a sense of ease and sometimes some vulnerability. I want the images to look natural and the girls to look like themselves. What/who do you look to for inspiration? Often I’m inspired by travel. Otherwise so many things, art, objects, fashion and ‘muses’ who are often from the 60’s. I find the subjects themselves inspiring also. They are all so unique. How has growing up as a woman influenced your work? It’s helped me form a bond with the subjects that I don’t think I could have as a man. Also, I feel growing up female gives you a special insight into being a girl that men can never understand.
Photography by: Bianca Valle
Bianca Valle
I’m really interested in your photography featuring young women. What drew you to focus on young females in your work? Women are magical. I love working with women because of their energy. There is nothing better than an all female set, or a shoot with only females. It feels safe and it always nurtures my creativity. Can you describe the narrative of your imagery? My photos are always of people. I love shooting people! I can’t tell you why shooting people is my subject of choice, but I do like looking at an image of a person and wondering what they were thinking when the photo was taken. People are complex, which makes pictures of them complex as well. How do you cast the women you shoot? Most of them are my friends. All of them are women I admire and wanted to work with so I just took the leap and reached out. Where do you normally shoot? I love shooting in my apartment. I am very lucky to have had good lighting everywhere I have lived in the city, so I have used that to my advantage. Are their certain emotions you like to try and capture in your work? I let my subjects model the way they please, my only job is to capture their feelings, not what I want. What/who do you look to for inspiration? Everything, everyone and everywhere. I like to remember this quote by I don’t know who, but it goes: “always keep your eyes open because you never know what is going to inspire you.” How has growing up as a woman influenced your work? Growing up is a feet. Getting to know who you are is a never-ending processes that is extra saturated in your early years so it can be hard to navigate. It leads you to change your mind on the drop of a hat. I have always had many interests so I change my mind all the time. I think this is reflected in my work, it morphs the way I do. Sometimes it’s more playful, sometimes it’s more serious. It is a journey.
Don’t worry, we’re not here to judge. If you’re at a point in your life where you have to move back in with your parents (or you haven’t managed to move out yet), we sympathise. The lack of privacy, set meal times and constant nagging is enough to make even the savviest of spenders rethink that a tiny box room with the extortionate rent. Hopefully these tips will make inhabiting the parental home a bit more bearable.
SOMETIMES IT NEEDS TO SOAK (but most of the time it doesn’t)
8 hours
25 minutes
17 hours
36 hours
2 days
Heat a large non-stick pan over a medium heat. Add
oil and swirl to coat
Crack egg into pan, cook for 2 minutes. Cover
and cook for another 2 minutes or until desired degree of doneness
Toast bread in pastel-coloured toaster
Remove stone and peel avocado. Mash into
guacamole texture, adding salt and pepper
Spread mashed avocado evenly over toast slice
Top toast with fried egg
Arrange on plate and photograph. Applying desired
filter before uploading to Instagram #breakfastgoals
1 teaspoon olive oil large egg 1 ripe avocado 1 slice of whole-grain bread salt pepper aesthetically pleasing plate
(AND BEFRIEND NICE GIRLS IN THE CLUB TOILETS WHO COMPLIMENT YOUR EYELINER)
TWENTIES
IN YOUR
FRIENDS
MAKE
HOW TO
I hope these tips help you on the transition to adulthood. How to survive living with your parents: 1. Plan an escape route 2. Do your own laundry 3. Do not leave your phone lying around 4. Bite your tongue 5. Be grateful And most importantly: AVOID LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS AT ALL COSTS.
For more tips read:
I hope these tips help you on the transition to adulthood. How to make friends in your twenties: 1. Leave the house 2. Watch *insert popular tv program here* 3. Up your social media game 4. Get a dog 5. Get drunk
For more tips read:
I hope these tips help you on the transition to adulthood. If you’re thinking about stepping on to the property ladder consider the downsides of owning a home as well as the positive. Happy mortgaging!
For more tips read:
I hope these tips help you on the transition to adulthood. Student loans are scary. Five digit sums that you owe the government in exchange for a university degree. Take this quiz to find out whether you should be worried about repaying...
For more tips read:
When adult life gets too much, take a break, make a cup of tea and complete these incredibly difficult puzzles to procrastinate even more...
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Editor in Chief & Creative Director: Megan Storey Contributing illustrators: Natalia Kubica, Dorota Liwacz Special thanks to: Kate Robertson, Philippa Storey, Charlie Lyne, Heather Lighton, Maria Marrone, Bianca Valle, Susan Sawyer MD, Cary Siegle, Tony Ward, Martha Hollingsworth, Louise Weaver and the LJMU staff All of my almost-adult friends for the inspiration
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