Christian Standard | July/August 2022 by Christian Standard Media

H E A LTHY INDIVIDUALS FAMILIES CHURCHES MOVEMENT

fr o m th e pu bli sh er

The World Is Sick and Jesus Is the Cure

e’ve been ready for COVID-19 to end for two-plus years, but throughout this season I have seen the faithfulness of God in many ways. I’m reminded of Jesus’ words: Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. . . . For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well (Luke 12:22-23, 30-31). COVID-19 has certainly seemed like a big deal. The virus has been no respecter of persons . . . it’s invaded 184 countries. But the coronavirus seems like a minor nuisance when compared with the deeper problem of sin, which has infected every person who’s ever lived.

That’s why Luke’s Gospel is so important. While Matthew targeted his Jewish countrymen with his Gospel and Mark focused on Simon Peter’s personal experience, Luke gave us the most comprehensive view of the life of Christ. He began his Gospel by saying, Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eyewitnesses and servants of the word. With this in mind, since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, I too decided to write an orderly account for you . . . so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught (Luke 1:1-4). Luke is unique in at least two critical aspects. First, the writer was not a personal eyewitness of Jesus’ life. Luke

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was a doctor, but for the purpose of his Gospel he functioned as an investigator, verifying and compiling the accounts of eyewitnesses and making sure they were accurate. That’s a big deal for us today because Luke was viewing this story the same way we would . . . he was evaluating the truth of the story without the benefit of being present. Second, Luke was not Jewish. In fact, he was the only biblical author who was a Gentile. That should be important to us because we are almost exclusively a Gentile group of followers. Luke viewed Jesus as much more than a leader of a Jewish religious subgroup or the fulfiller of prophecy. He saw Jesus as the Savior of the whole world; in fact, that is the theme of his book. As a doctor, Luke investigated and diagnosed the deepest problem in both his and our world . . . the problem of sin and our need for a Savior. Jesus (and his word) is the cure. Luke’s Gospel includes almost four dozen of Jesus’ stories, teachings, and parables not found in the other Gospels. But I’ll focus on just three—two parables and an incident from Jesus’ life—that point to Jesus being the Savior of the world. The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). Jesus is the Savior of the world because his sacrifice is the truest expression of love. Love was the core of Jesus’ teaching. The two religious leaders who walked by the injured man without helping lacked in love and mercy. Like them, we can get this all wrong and think we are loving God when we’re not even loving the people God puts on our path. Have you ever been surprised by how God uses someone? I have been wrong so often, thinking one person was worthy of my time and another wasn’t. God alone knows the heart and he wants to save every human heart because every human heart needs salvation! Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10). Jesus showed, one person at a time, that he is the Savior of the world. Jesus wasn’t and isn’t a poser, as evidenced by the story of Zacchaeus. Just imagine, Jesus knows every one of us in real time! He knows every person and every situation, and he

wants salvation to come to our houses today! He doesn’t care what the people around us think or how they view him. He’s focused on us because he came here for us! It’s time to sit at the table with him and quit viewing him from the trees. The prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). Jesus is the Savior of the world because we will die without him. Jesus tried to help the religious leaders understand why he was there and what they were supposed to be doing (see Luke 15:1-2). We are all prodigals . . . but we are all sons and daughters! We all have the same heavenly Father who loves us! He is waiting for us and sees us when we are still a long way off. He recognizes us and runs to us when we’re unrecognizable! He declares what was dead to be alive again and he throws a party! “Let’s have a feast and celebrate,” the prodigal son’s father said. “For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” This world is so unhealthy. The world has a disease, and it needs a cure. It has a reason for mourning, and it needs a reason for celebrating. It is stricken with fear, and it needs to be at peace. It is lost in the lower story, and it needs to embrace the upper story. It’s focused on the temporary, and it needs to raise its vision to the eternal. The cure is here because Jesus is here. He is the Savior of the world! 

Jerry Harris is publisher of Christian Standard Media and teaching pastor at The Crossing, a multisite church located in three states across the Midwest. @_jerryharris /jerrydharris

CHRISTIAN STANDARD FOUNDED 1866 BY ISAAC ERRETT Devoted to the restoration of New Testament Christianity, its doctrine, its ordinances, and its fruits.

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THE RHYTHMS OF A WELL-LIVED LIFE Alan Ahlgrim

HOW WILL THE CHURCH RESPOND TO T H E M E N TA L H E A L T H C R I S I S ? Ben Cachiaras

28 34

H E A LTHY FA M I LI E S C U R R E N T T R E N D S I N D AT I N G , M A R R I AG E, A N D PA R E N T I N G Kent E. Fillinger

T H E S L AV E R Y O F T H E D I G I TA L W O R L D Tyler McKenzie

44 50

H E A LTHY CHURCH E S T H E V I TA L S I G N S W E M U S T M E A S U R E Matt Merold

BUILT ON TRUSTWORTHY LEADERS Ken Idleman

58 64

In Every Issue

H E A LTHY I N DIVI DUA L S

2-3

from the publisher

6-7

from the Editor

8-9

BOLD

10-11

e 2: EFFECTIVE ELDERS

12-13

ENGAGE

14-15

C h r i s D e We l t

CAN OUR CHURCHES CONTINUE TO GROW AND BEAR FRUIT? Matt Proctor

72 78

How to Measure Church Health Jim Estep

8 Ways Church Growth Has Reached an Idolatrous Level (Part 1) Tyler McKenzie

HEAL

Healthy Church Leaders Never Do This! Wes Beavis

16-17

HORIZONS

18-19

INTENTIONAL

20-22

METRICS

24-25

PREACH

94-95

Interact

H E A LTHY MOVEM ENT HOW CAN WE MOVE FROM INDEPENDENCE TO CONNECTION?

Bible Genealogies: Much More Than Just Lists of Names Megan Rawlings

Amor Builds More Than Houses Laura McKillip Wood

Very Married: The Gift to the Divine Gift Rudy and Osharye Hagood

Behind the Screen: Insights into Online Church Kent E. Fillinger

Pour Yourself into Your Preaching Chris Philbeck

f r o m th e edi to r

Health: give careful attention!

hy are we committing an entire issue to health? Because health begets growth, good fruit, and reproduction for God’s people, our families, our churches, and the future of our movement. (Of course, unhealthy things can also grow, bear fruit, and multiply, but we don’t want them to!) We all desire health in the various arenas of our lives, but we may not be very mindful of it . . . until something happens and our health is jeopardized. I know what I’m talking about. In October 2021, I was mountain biking with a friend in Brown County, Indiana, and we were enjoying the 25 miles of trails—rolling up and down hills, sweeping over rollers and through berms, and catching air on jumps. It was the best day of mountain biking I had ever experienced . . . until it wasn’t. My friend and I were less than a mile from the end of the trail when I fell, breaking my left patella. A week later I underwent surgery to repair the kneecap, and several weeks after that I started physical therapy. But something was wrong. I was in excruciating, chronic

pain, with swelling in the leg and high fevers. I was diagnosed with CRPS (Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome). My body began to atrophy, and I lost 30 pounds of mostly muscle. My physical therapist was frustrated with my lack of progress, and so was I. Weeks turned into months and none of my many doctors—specialists in orthopedics, pain management, infectious disease, wound care—could diagnose the problem. Finally, X-rays revealed major bone decay in the knee, caused by acute infection, and a surgeon quickly operated. After the surgery, I began to receive antibiotics through a PICC line three times a day at home. Multiple ER visits and hospital stays ensued, as the first two lines in my arms didn’t work properly. A line was then implanted in my chest. As I write this in May, I’m making good progress, and a third surgery, a total knee replacement, is scheduled for June 16, which happens to be Heidi’s and my 32nd wedding anniversary. (The gift for 32 years of marriage must be titanium.) Before my fall, I was rolling steadily along, regularly beating my personal bests, and when I compared myself

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to most other guys my age, I felt a sense of satisfaction and, dare I say, pride. This is a red flag, as many wise leaders know. Solomon nailed it: “Pride precedes a disaster, and an arrogant attitude precedes a fall” (Proverbs 16:18, God’s Word Translation). We can’t assume good health when things seem to be going smoothly, but we can be proactive. To remain healthy in every realm of our lives requires at least two consistent practices: measurement and action. Our writers in this issue provide expert help for how to measure what matters and develop appropriate, healthy action steps. While we can’t always avoid trials of many kinds (like a pandemic, a war on the other side of the world that affects our budgets, etc.), we can, with absolute faith, seek God’s wisdom for how to persevere through them (cf. James 1:2-7). Years ago, when I was a new small groups minister, a group would occasionally fail. I would meet with the leader to debrief, and often they would say they had no indications of problems beforehand. It was a complete surprise. This bothered me, but at that time I didn’t have a solution. Later in my ministry, at Northeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, when we had a fast-growing number of groups, then-senior pastor Bob Cherry asked me, “Mike, are our small groups healthy?” That was a wise question, one every church leader should be asking. Proverbs 27:23 says, “Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds.” My response, of course, was yes! I tried to tell him stories of healthy, fruit-producing groups, but he wanted facts, not just anecdotes. But how could I measure the

health of a very qualitative ministry? How could I objectively evaluate health in discipleship, community, group members’ spiritual growth, and leadership development within groups? I developed a survey based on what I determined were the vital signs of group health. We surveyed all group leaders and used the results to determine the health of all our groups collectively, individual groups, and even among group types. Our coaches used the results to help leaders improve in weaker areas. We developed workshops in areas where our groups were generally unhealthy. The experience provided the content for my book Small Group Vital Signs: Seven Indicators of Health that Make Groups Flourish. One of the many things I learned is that these vital signs—Christ-centeredness, a healthy leader, shared leadership, proactive leadership, authentic community, ministry to others, and a disciple-making environment— are relevant for much more than just small groups. They can be used to evaluate the health of a church, parachurch organization, or even our movement. Do you know the condition of your flocks? Are you paying attention to your herds? Whether your “flocks” and “herds” represent your nuclear family, church family, or extended church family (our fellowship of churches), be sure to measure what matters and take God-initiated, God-honoring action toward health. 

@michaelc.mack @michaelcmack @michaelcmack /authormichaelcmack

BOLD

n a new trend among Christian users of TikTok, videos show the faces of people reading genealogies from the Bible. The readers often appear to be trying to stay awake, or they skim through the lists pretending to be interested. There is a sense of, “Skip the names; it’s no big deal. What do they have to offer anyway?” And to an extent, I understand that. Reading or listening to a long list of unfamiliar, multisyllabic names of people you don’t know begetting more people you don’t know can be daunting. But we need to read those names.

Bible Genealogies: Much More Than Just Lists of Names By Megan Rawlings

Throughout my time studying the Bible, I composed a list of things to keep in mind while working through those genealogies.

1. All the Genealogies Are Scrip ture Inspired by God In his letter to Timothy, Paul said, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17, emphasis added). The Greek word for “all,” in this case, is pasa, which translates to “all, each, every, the whole.” No fancy loophole makes this word mean “some Scripture is God-breathed.” No, either it is all true or none of it can be trusted. Either it is all useful, or again, it cannot be trusted. So, when we come across lists of names, we can either embrace them and realize that God mentioned each person for a purpose, or we can continue to ignore a part of the story to which God has allowed us a small glimpse.

2. E v e r y P e r s o n L i s t e d Wa s S p e c i a l t o G o d Fred Craddock’s sermon “When the Roll Is Called Down Here” is one of my favorites. In it, the late preacher gave several examples of lists of names. One is a jury duty listing, while another references the names of deceased American soldiers engraved on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial wall. Craddock used this overall theme to connect to Romans 16, where he insisted the final section of Paul’s letter to the church in Rome is not just names. These were people participating in the expansion of God’s kingdom; these were friends of Paul and individuals the Holy Spirit thought we needed to know. Craddock said, What Paul wrote in Romans 16, then, wasn’t a list. He was remembering people

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who were special to him. . . . In fact, these names in Romans 16 are extremely special to Paul, because even though he says “hello” to them, what he’s really saying is “goodbye.” He’s going to Rome, but before he gets there, he must go to Jerusalem. He’s going with the offering into a nest of hostility. So, at the end of chapter 15, he says to these people, Pray with me. Agonize with me that I won’t be killed in Jerusalem, that the saints will accept the money in Jerusalem, and that I’ll get to come back and be with you. These are not just names. Please do yourself a favor and listen to the sermon in its entirety.

3. T o G o d , Y o u A r e M o r e T h a n J u s t a Name on a List

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when we come across lists of names, we can either e m b r a c e t h e m a n d r e a l i z e t h at G o d m e n t i o n e d e a c h person for a purpose, or . . .

A chorus of an old hymn says, “When the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there.” Many places in Scripture reference our names being written in a roll, or as many know it, “the book of life.” This isn’t just “a list”; these are the names of men and women who have committed themselves to Christ. So, herein lies the question: What’s the big deal about a name?

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I’ll tell you. Names represent who we are. Our individuality . . . our uniqueness . . . our heritage . . . but something even greater. Even though we are one of many, God knows us by name! Every one of us! We are so important to him that he is always right there for us, no questions asked . . . and he’s right there also for the names we read in Scripture. All this to say, don’t skim through the names. There’s purpose and reason represented in them. 

Megan Rawlings serves as vice president of planned giving with The Solomon Foundation. She is the founder and CEO of The Bold Movement. She is an extrovert, pastor’s wife, and lover of the Scriptures. /tbmministry @tbm_ministry @tbm_ministry @theboldmovement theboldmovement.com

e 2: e ffe ct i v e e ld e r s

How to Measure Church Health By Jim Estep

hate going to the doctor. The first thing they ask me to do is step on the scale. Then, they take all the standard measurements: blood pressure, temperature, pulse, and oxygen level, among others. Finally, they ask, “So why are you here? How are you feeling?” I describe my ailment (while trying not to sound like a whiner). Doctors evaluate a person’s health based on some very objective (quantitative) measures as well as verbal (qualitative) descriptions.

A church’s health should be evaluated the same way. We need to remember the church is an organism, not an organization; it’s the body of Christ (Romans 7:4; 1 Corinthians 10:16; 12:27; Ephesians 4:12). Church health can be measured along a spectrum, from vibrant to plateaued to declining. A common mistake church leaders make is either not bothering to periodically assess the church’s health or to use only a few basic measures— like offering and attendance—that don’t provide a complete picture. It’s like skipping an annual physical until something goes wrong. The most frequent error, however, is asking the qualitative, “How does everyone feel?” and forgetting that the church’s mission is far more than just keeping everyone content, happy, or satisfied with status quo.

W h at D o W e M e a s u r e ? Here’s a basic principle: Measure what matters. For this to be most effective, leaders need a dashboard—that is, a slate of figures that indicate the relative health of their congregation. What’s on the dashboard? Here are several items to consider tracking: • Worship attendance . . . but if you have multiple services, track each one separately along with the total attendance. • New members, both by baptism and transfer. In other words, where are new people coming from? • Percentage of members attending more than worship (examples include small groups and other gatherings/activities). • Outreach: Identify each member’s home address and map them to determine the “distance” of your church’s influence. Are portions of your community unreached? • Giving . . . not just the total given, but also divided into giving units (such as how many families give, and how much the average family gives). • Spending: What percentage of the budget goes toward external/evangelistic ministries vs. internal/ discipleship ministries? The amount spent on

• Leadership: In terms of congregational leaders, elders, and leader volunteers (i.e., deacons), how long is their average tenure serving in those roles? Also, when were these people added to various leadership team roles? Is the leadership pool being refreshed or has it grown stagnant? • Community match: A major (but worthwhile) endeavor is to compare the congregation’s demographics with those of the community. How well does the church reflect those within its reach? Perceptgroup.com can provide inexpensive demographic information relevant to the church’s location.

More information about Restoration Movement pioneers is available in such books as Union in Truth by James North; The Great Awakenings and the Restoration Movement by Max Ward Randall; The Church: A Trilogy by Robert C. Shannon. John W. Wade, and Enos E. Dowling; and The Stone-Campbell Movement by Leroy Garrett, among others.

W h at Q u e s t i o n s S h o u l d W e A s k ? The next step to evaluating the church’s health is to ask the right questions. Consider gathering a group of informed, involved members of the congregation for a dialogue. Ask the gathered group four basic questions, and without comment or judgment, write their responses on a whiteboard for all to see. The four questions: What’s right? What’s wrong? What’s confusing? What’s missing?

“

A c o m m o n m i s ta k e c h u r c h l e a d e r s m a k e i s e i t h e r n o t b o t h e r i n g t o p e r i o d i c a l ly a s s e s s t h e c h u r c h’ s h e a lt h o r t o u s e o n ly a f e w b a s i c m e a s u r e s — l i k e o f f e r i n g a n d at t e n d a n c e —t h at d o n’ t p r o v i d e a c o m p l e t e p i c t u r e .

If you’re doing ministry right, keep doing it. If it’s wrong or ineffective, stop! If it’s confusing, clarify it for the congregation. If it’s missing, create it. Addressing these items is the start of a strategic plan toward a healthier future.

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H o w D o W e A d o p t H e a lt h i e r P r a c t i c e s ? Our ministry, e2, has a tool called The JumpStart Workbook that can assist in these matters. It focuses on four key elements of church health: evangelism, discipleship, next-generation ministry, and leadership development. It helps gather relevant information and then guides the analysis through the four questions suggested above. From this, church leaders can create a change initiative, a plan for how your church can have a healthier future. Diagnosis without prognosis is worthless. Determining what measures to take for a healthier future is essential for a church’s vitality and survival. This process begins with leadership collecting and reviewing the data—the figures previously listed—for the

Jim Estep serves as founding dean of Lincoln (Illinois) Christian Institute and as event director with e2: effective elders.

/e2elders @e2elders

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past three to five years. As the data is reviewed, leaders may begin to see a pattern or trajectory: growth, plateau, or decline. Gather individuals who are involved and relevant to a particular ministry and share your insights with them. Share with them the challenge of making the church healthier. Pool their collective wisdom and insights. Be prepared to provide resources to facilitate buy-in so the congregation can move forward. Your church’s health is a matter of adopting healthier practices, so start today! 

discipleship almost always will be more, but if evangelism is being cut, the church’s health will eventually be impacted.

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love the church. That’s why I would like to suggest that pursuit of church growth by some leaders has reached an idolatrous level. Growth has become synonymous with health and success. It’s why we invest so many resources in the weekend gathering. It’s why we platform the leaders we do. Having led a large congregation for a decade now, I’ve experienced some of the lusts and obsessions in my own heart. Growth shouldn’t be the main thing. Tim Keller wrote in “Leadership and Church Size Dynamics,”

8 Ways Church Growth Has Reached an Idolatrous Level Part 1 By Tyler McKenzie

Out of necessity, the large church must use organizational techniques from the business world, but the danger is that ministry may become too results-oriented and focused on quantifiable outcomes (attendance, membership, giving) rather than the goals of holiness and character growth. This tendency should not be accepted as inevitable. We’ve gone beyond reluctantly accepting it as inevitable. We’ve framed the pursuit of growth as natural and celebrate its attainment as admirable. I’ve compiled a list of several concerning trends I have observed in American evangelical churches/ ministries. I’ve elected to share those trends that can be explained (at least in part) as consequences of the idolatrous pursuit of the gospel of growth. Let me be clear: Growth in a church is not bad, but crowning growth as the king metric is not good. I humbly ask you to let down your guards and consider my list. I’ll share eight trends total—the first four in this issue and the final four in the September/October issue.

1. I n s t i t u t i o n a l C o v e r - U p s a n d M o r a l Fa i l u r e s In May, a Southern Baptist Convention report detailed a pattern of sexual abuse and cover-up at the highest levels of leadership. This is just one of many examples of church leaders—including Ravi Zacharias, Jerry Falwell Jr., and Mark Driscoll—implicated in sinful behavior. Those responsible for the accountability of the leader often offer the same excuse: “But look at the fruit! They were doing so much good!” By this logic, the justification for covering up serious sin (like abuse, financial impropriety, or sexual immorality) is “the fruit.” By fruit, they mean size, impact, and scope of influence. How does this definition of fruit align with John’s exhortations (Luke 3:9-14), Jesus’ teachings (John 15:1-17), or Paul’s writings (Galatians 5:22-25)? It makes me wonder . . . How many of my “lesser” sins have been excused by coworkers, elders, or congregants

2. C a l c u l at e d A pat h y/ S i l e n c e o n Pressing Issues

We all know that certain topics will provoke people to leave. As we’ve led through the past few years, which have been especially polarizing, I’ve listened as leaders speak privately about their strong convictions but then make calculated decisions to remain silent with their church. Are the sheep leading the shepherds? A preaching mentor once said, “Whatever the preacher isn’t allowed to talk about, that’s what you talk about because that’s the idol.” That’s terrible advice for maximizing church growth, but I believe it’s some of the best advice I’ve ever been given. Every context is unique, so every preacher must take a different approach. But it makes me wonder . . . If I honestly spoke the entire truth to my congregation (keeping in mind we all have unique contexts) without concern for offering or attendance loss, would I say more about racial injustice, the sexual revolution, Christian nationalism, sexual abuse, the sanctity of life, and other issues?

3. T h e P o p u l a r i z at i o n o f S o f t P r o s p e r i t y Kate Bowler, a professor at Duke Divinity School, is one of the leading historians on the Prosperity Movement. In her book Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel, she says there are basically two kinds of prosperity theology—hard prosperity and soft prosperity. Hard prosperity is what most of us roll our eyes at. “If you have faith, you can throw away your blood pressure medicine! If you’ll just give $100 today, God will throw open the floodgates and give you $1,000!” Bowler argues that hard prosperity has become more of a fringe phenomenon today while soft prosperity has become mainstream. Soft prosperity is that unspoken expectation inside us that if we go to church, donate, and live morally, God will bless us with a good life (that is, physical, emotional, relational, and financial well-being). Nowhere does God promise that, but people desperately want it to be true. “Here’s how to find financial freedom!” “Here’s how to find balance in a busy world.” “Here are five steps to better relationships.” Practical teaching can be powerfully transformative, but it always must be grounded in Jesus’ cross-shaped way and the exhortations of Scripture that are often offensive. It makes me wonder . . . How often do I choose and bend sermons toward self-help topics that will draw an

audience to the exclusion of the unpopular message of self-denial and self-sacrifice?

4 . E va n g e l i c a l R e s i s ta n c e t o S o c i a l C o n c e r n a n d Justice I was teaching other church leaders about serving and developing relationships in our community and an influential megachurch pastor cornered me afterward. He said, “Who cares if we feed a poor woman on the other side of town if she ends up going to hell?” That sentiment, though not as crude, is baked into our organizational scoreboards. The assumption is that unless a ministry results in conversion and congregational growth, it cannot be truly pleasing to God. It makes me wonder . . . If I honestly compared the resources we invest in ministries that care for the “least of these” to the resources invested in the gathering, preaching, and evangelism/assimilation initiatives, would there be a gaping difference? (I’ll conclude this article in the September/October issue with four more concerning trends I’ve observed in evangelical churches and ministries.) 

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Tyler McKenzie serves as lead pastor at Northeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky.

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I’ v e l i s t e n e d a s l e a d e r s s p e a k p r i vat e ly about their strong convictions but then make c a l c u l at e d d e c i s i o n s t o r e m a i n s i l e n t w i t h t h e i r church. Are the sheep leading the shepherds?

because of the “fruit” I’ve helped lead my church to produce?

Hea l

ealthy church leaders do not spiritually abuse their church staff. Abuse of staff happens all too often, and it must stop.

I’ll share an example. Recently, a senior pastor called the family life pastor into a meeting. The executive pastor also attended. It was a two-against-one coalition. The family pastor felt vulnerable. This vulnerability escalated when the senior pastor relieved the family life pastor of his ministry position. This was not a response to moral failure or professional misconduct. It was simply a case of, “We don’t feel like you are the right person for this position.”

Healthy Church Leaders Never Do This! By Wes Beavis

The firing was a complete surprise to the family life pastor. In fact, one month earlier, he received a glowing performance review that singled out his efforts and leadership. There was no indication of a problem. So, to be brought into the office and relieved of his position, “effective immediately,” completely blindsided him. “What did I do wrong? . . . Have I been written up? . . . If I was underperforming, why did this not come up in my recent performance review? . . . Why didn’t I get at least a verbal warning prior to this?” The family life pastor asked all these questions but received only vague answers from the senior pastor and executive pastor. Curiously, no specific incident led to the decision. It was as if the decision was made because of a certain “feeling” or “leading.” The family life pastor was devastated. He loved being a part of the church leadership staff. He spent years in college specifically training to advance the cause of Christ through family life ministries.

W h at ’ s N o t S p i r i t u a l A b u s e By taking this action, were the senior and executive pastors guilty of spiritual abuse? You may be surprised by my answer. No! They were not guilty of spiritual abuse for anything I’ve described thus far. I could, with certainty, accuse them of being woefully inartful in their professional process. I could accuse them of being harsh toward this staff member who had done nothing wrong morally, legally, or theologically. I could accuse them of having the compassion of a Category 5 hurricane. But with all that said, spiritual abuse had not yet entered the picture. I understand that senior pastors have certain preferences for who should serve “on the bus” and who needs to change seats on the bus. Sometimes a staff member’s tone or temperament might be viewed as deficient in some way. When it comes to building church staff, I contend the senior pastor has the right

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to choose who is on the team. So, if the family life pastor didn’t have the right chemistry, it was totally within the rights of the senior pastor to “let him go.” Senior pastors have the right to hire and fire as they see fit. It is not spiritual abuse to make these decisions. However, I would hope such decisions would take place as humanely as possible. Unfortunately, this was not the case in this instance. Now, I’ll describe the point at which spiritual abuse did occur.

W h at I s S p i r i t u a l A b u s e

“

In the conversation with the A h e a lt h y c h u r c h l e a d e r s h i p w i l l n e v e r d o t h i s family life pastor, the senior t o a s ta f f m e m b e r —t h at i s , i n t r o d u c e J e s u s pastor asked, “What do you into the firing process to bolster or justify think Jesus is trying to tell you through all of this?” Therein their decision. lies the spiritual abuse—a 10-foot-high pile of spiritual abuse! The senior pastor, in the superior position on the organizational chart, brought Jesus into the firing process. The meeting suddenly became three against one. The senior pastor, executive pastor, and Jesus on one side—and on abou t the au thor the other the family life pastor watching his ministry life crash and burn. A healthy church leadership will never do this to a staff member—that is, introduce Jesus into the firing process to bolster or justify their decision. If you must fire someone, then state your reasons—professional, performance, or chemistry—as to why it should take place. But don’t you dare drag Jesus into it. When you do, you are committing spiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse comes in many forms and statements. One example is to say, “We believe God has a better assignment for you, so we are going to ‘let you go’ so that you can pursue God’s greater calling.” That, my fellow leaders, is putting a sweet glaze coating on spiritual abuse. Sure, it sounds good. As the person doing the firing, it may make you feel better. That messaging may even make the congregation feel better about the news. But it devastates the person being fired from their local church and spiritual home. As a leader, from time to time, you will fire someone from your staff for reasons other than moral failure. But when you do so, do it in a way that preserves their spiritual dignity. Don’t drag Jesus into your firing squad. 

Dr. Wes Beavis has served as a pastor in Restoration Movement churches in both the United States and Australia. He is also a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in helping ministry leaders navigate the leadership journey. His latest book is Let’s Talk about Ministry Burnout: A Proven Research-based Approach to the Wellbeing of Pastors. drwesbeavis.com text 949.246.7836

hori z ons

he was only 9 years old, but Gayla knew what God was telling her.

“I will follow you, God,” she promised, certain she was hearing him tell her to be a missionary. That commitment made at Guadalupe Christian Service Camp in New Mexico stayed in little Gayla’s mind over the next few years, even though she did not know exactly how it would play out.

Amor Builds More Than Houses By Laura McKillip Wood

By the time she was a sophomore in college, Gayla had shelved the idea of cross-cultural ministry. She was studying speech therapy at Arizona State University. Her pastor, Don Hinkle, who had baptized her as a young girl and was now pastoring a nearby church, asked her, “What are you going to do about that commitment?” She replied that she was a little girl at that time and did not know what she was doing. Hinkle sent her with a group of other college students on a visit to what was then Pacific Christian College (now Hope International University). “The rest is history,” Gayla says. She transferred to PCC and made several trips to Tijuana to work in an orphanage with student groups from her college. By the time she graduated, Gayla was hooked. She called her parents. “I’ve got my car packed, and I’m going to Tijuana,” she told them. Her college roommate helped her move. “I didn’t really even raise money or anything. I just went on faith.” It was 1977, and the orphanage did not have a phone. “My parents had to rely on me driving across the border to call them.” As a mom herself now, she realizes what a leap of faith that was for her parents.

The Beginning of Ministry Gayla began her career as an orphanage worker at the Tijuana Christian Mission. Most of the children were not true orphans, though. They had come from the Tijuana dump, where they spent their days picking up garbage to resell it. These children loved their families, but their families could not support them. Many of them saw their parents on the weekends. “Every kid I worked with wanted to be with the family,” Gayla explains. “You just can’t replace the desire for a family.” Seeing these families separated by poverty, Gayla began thinking about what she might do to help them stay together. She realized that if the families had a safe place to live, they would be better able to support their children and stay together. “Building a house doesn’t just provide shelter. It keeps a family together.”

Amor It was around this time that Scott Congdon and some fraternity brothers visited the orphanage where Gayla worked. “It

Their 42-year ministry with Amor has been fruitful. Initially, it focused only on building houses for Mexican families. Amor has facilitated groups from around the world who come to build homes, and they have built 20,000 homes in northern Mexico. As time passed, they saw that not only did their ministry make tangible differences in the lives of people in Mexico, but it often dramatically changed the lives of those who went on the trips. Amor’s policy is that anyone can participate in a trip, regardless of faith background. If people agree to participate in the faith-based portions of the trip, they can go. This means that nonbelievers work alongside believers, sharing their lives and their struggles. Friendships are born, and nonbelievers see believers in a way they may not have before. More than 400,000 people have participated in an Amor trip since its beginning in 1981. Today Amor consists of a coalition of ministries in several different areas of the world, including South Africa, the Yucatan Peninsula, Northern Mexico, and Europe. The ministry’s main headquarters is in San Diego, California. One example of their ministry takes place in Northern California. There Amor works closely with a church located across the street from a high school. Students from the church invite their friends from school on Amor trips. By their senior year, approximately 75 percent of the class has been on an Amor trip. These kids come from all walks of life.

Gayla tells a story of Nery Fuentes, the mayor of a small town along the Mexican border. Amor requested that the town provide building materials for the homes as their contribution to the work. Nery was uncertain that the town would be able to provide the materials, but she asked Amor representatives to return after she had time to try to find them. When Amor returned, they found Nery had indeed procured the materials. She then showed them an old photo of a little girl in front of a house. She said, “That little girl is me. I grew up in one of your houses.” She wanted the same for the people of her town. That is the reason for Gayla and Scott Congdon’s ministry. That is love at work. That is Amor. 

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Amor has a philosophy of, “Let’s put down what divides us and pick up what unites us.” Many kids have come to know Christ through these trips; the work of Amor serves a double purpose of creating homes for people in poverty and ministering to students on the trips. Over time, Gayla noticed a need for women to minister crossculturally. In response, she started Women of Strength trips that take women from Western countries to South Africa to build homes, meet South African women, and learn about the culture, including the history of apartheid. Gayla says she has found that many women do not enjoy the traditional programs churches provide for their women. “A lot of women . . . want to do something meaningful,” she says. Amor gives them this opportunity to use their gifts, do meaningful work, and share their lives with other women.

Laura McKillip Wood, former missionary to Ukraine, now serves as bereavement coordinator and palliative care chaplain at Children's Hospital and Medical Center in Omaha, Nebraska. She and her husband, Andrew, have three teenagers. /laura.wood2 @woodlaura30

Changes Amor has need to make some adjustments since the pandemic began. Restrictions on travel have made their model of

@woodlaura30 lauramckillipwood.com lauramckillipwood@gmail.com

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bringing short-term groups to build the houses difficult if not impossible. Instead, they have begun using local labor. “Our desire is that more and more houses are built by Mexican locals,” Gayla says, although they hope to continue offering short-term trips as well. As it stands, they continue requiring what they have always required: a local ministry board comprised of pastors in the community where they serve chooses families who qualify for a house, and the families who receive homes must own the property on which the homes are built. Most families work for years to save enough money to buy property. They are invested in the home they eventually receive, and often they join in the building process.

was love at first sight,” she says. Not only did Scott fall in love with Gayla, but he fell in love with ministry. He caught her passion for working with orphans in Mexico, and together Scott and Gayla began Amor Ministries. They married in 1981, and their son, Jordan, was born in 1986.

inte nt i ona l

ong before Jeff Bezos launched Amazon, God was sending precious gift packages from heaven all over the globe. God delivers sparks of life we call children. Kids are “divine gifts” of the breath of life delivered to the living.

Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward” (English Standard Version). Wow, what an unthinkable gift! In my gratitude, I want to be a blessing to God, the gift-giver, while also striving to give the best gift I possibly can to my kids. Yet, what should I give? I, like most parents, want them to have financial freedom, an excellent education, and of course, I want them to be Dodger fans!

Very Married: The Gift to the Divine Gift By Rudy Hagood (with Osharye Hagood)

Seriously, however, my first thought was, I want them to know Jesus. That is the most important gift our kids could ever receive, but in this salvific exchange, I am not the giver. King David said, “For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation” (Psalm 62:1, ESV, emphasis mine). Then Luke wrote, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12, emphasis mine). Salvation clearly is a gift from “no one else” because salvation comes “from him.” So, in my mind this question remains—what is the best gift I can leave for my children?

T h e G r e at e s t G i f t W e G i v e O u r C h i l d r e n In considering this, I think back to the birth of one of my divine gifts. I remember it like it was yesterday, my daughter’s birth, the initiation of a new soul that God grew and nurtured in my beautiful wife, Osharye! I remember how proud and amazed I was at what my sweet Osharye-Amore endured and the miracle that came forth from her. Then it hit me; this was more than a birth—an actual brand-new person was introduced into existence, and that person, in part, had come from me. I cannot fathom how people believe that miracles have ceased. Every new life is evidence of the One who is infinite life continuing to distribute himself into finite life while giving each of us the opportunity for eternal life. At that very moment, all the pains and struggles of the previous nine months revealed the divine glory of our anticipation. I’ve been told that many women somehow forget the pain of bringing the miracle of God into the world. Um, that’s not Osharye’s testimony . . . she remembers! Husbands experience awe for their wife’s strength and simultaneously experience love at first sight. For this new life is completely distinct from them, while also being thoroughly dependent on them. At the moment of birth, the two who are one become three and yet still must remain one. That’s it, my friends. That’s the gift we owe to our kids. It is to remain one. Audrey Hepburn said, “If I get married, I want to be

Jesus said, “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6, ESV, emphasis mine). I must rephrase this to make a point. “Parents, what therefore God has joined together, let not our kids separate!” We cannot let the divine gifts overpower the covenant! Yes, I know, our kids are us, but our kids are not the marriage covenant we vowed to God to honor until death do us part. Our covenant was made, spouse to spouse, with the most high God. My friends, the best gift for the “divine gifts” is a healthy marriage.

H o w W e L o s e O u r Way So how do we lose our way? Here’s a synopsis of what often happens to our marriages and our devotion to God. God blesses us with children and we experience love for them at first sight. Then, based on the impact of experiencing the beauty of the divine gift of children, we shortly thereafter take off our husband uniform and our wife uniform. We put on our father and mother outfits. This seems great at first, so we barely even notice we no longer are prioritizing our marriage. Unwittingly, our children become an emotional wall dividing what we once called a union. Why? Because we become child-centered over Christ-centered and child-centered over covenant-centered. We begin to invest our affinities, resources, and time into these divine gifts of God, these children.

The cycle of child-centered marriages is in full effect. Now our marriages, which were meant to reflect the love of Christ for the church and the adoration of the church for Christ, have been flipped to the degree that the gift is adored more actively than God, the gift-giver.

A Model for Our Children and Grandchildren Are we training our children who desire marriage to have healthy relationships, so that they can raise our grandchildren in healthy environments? My friends, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV). Let’s train up our children who desire marriage to be “very married.” I encourage you—while you are caring for the precious package, this gift from God, make sure you are also committed to your marriage covenant. Your commitment to your spouse is the best gift you could ever give your children. A beautiful, God-fearing, healthy marriage will serve as a model for your children when they are blessed with their own divine gifts. All-in together, my friends, let’s be very married.  abou t the au thor

Tell me, does this sound familiar? “Let’s go out tonight, Honey.” “Oh no, we can’t do that . . . our baby needs new school clothes, and those karate lessons aren’t free.” When we begin to forego personal time with our spouse, we sacrifice their needs. Instead, as parents, we choose to meet every desire of our children. Prioritizing our children in this way will often cause husbands and/or wives to become jealous of the affection given to the child. All this results from investing our relational capital into our kids at the expense of our spouse—at the expense of our covenant.

Rudy and Osharye Hagood have seven children and nine grandchildren so far. Osharye is a women’s minister who is also certified as both a life coach and a health coach. Rudy is a lead pastor with a background in social work. They love being married and love to bless both married and engaged couples. @rudy.hagood @rudy_hagood_

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I get it. We see their birth, we experience these miracles, and we become so overwhelmed at the divine gift that we become distracted from our adoration of God and from our commitment to our marriage. I cast no judgment. It makes sense. How can finite man not have a disorienting overreaction from receiving a direct gift from our infinite God? Yet, that God who gave us such a wondrous gift to care for, steward, train, love, and point back toward God is the same God who calls us married folks to hold on to one another.

Someday our kids will grow up, leave for college, and typically move on to their own marriages. We, the parents (insert dramatic music) are left living with strangers. We suddenly are in a relationship that hasn’t grown in almost 18 years. When life plays out this way, we indirectly teach our children not to prioritize their relationships.

very married.” Our kids need to see us not just holding on to marriage by a thread, but see a marriage bursting with life!

met r i cs

rior to the pandemic, most larger churches were already actively and sometimes aggressively using online church as an outreach strategy to connect with more people beyond their physical locations. For many smaller churches, the pandemic expedited their technological timeline and forced them into the realm of online church. Every church I know is still trying to “crack the code” to determine how to shift people from “passive viewers” of online church to “engaged disciples.” Some churches have invested significant time, staffing, and financial resources to expand their online push and to upgrade their technology. Despite these investments, a proven process for moving people from consumers to contributors remains elusive.

Behind the Screen: Insights into Online Church By Kent E. Fillinger

My March/April 2022 Metrics article, “Authentic Online Church,” suggested a model for doing so, and it encouraged churches to see online church as a supplement to in-person worship and to be honest in how they count and report online attendance. It also suggested a simple method for how to count online church viewers. Christian Standard focused solely on in-person worship attendance in our annual church report (May/June 2022 issue), but there’s still value in understanding how churches approach online church and to see what we can learn from the recent survey data.

O n l i n e At t e n d a n c e N u m b e r s Of the 412 churches that participated in our survey, 322 (78 percent) reported online weekly attendance figures ranging from an average of 2 to 18,895 viewers. In 2021, the combined average weekly online attendance reported for these churches was 199,307—an average of 619 online viewers per church. If in-person average weekly worship attendance were added to online average weekly worship attendance as it had been in years past, the online attendance numbers would represent 45 percent of the total attendance of 442,617. Overall, 14 percent of the churches that completed our survey reported an average online worship attendance for 2021 that was larger than their average in-person attendance. Two-thirds of the megachurches reported more online viewers than in-person attendees. Less than one-third (30 percent) of emerging megachurches reported more online viewers than in-person attendees. Small churches and very small churches were the least likely to report higher online than in-person attendance (5 percent and 7 percent, respectively).

Online Methods Used The churches surveyed used a variety of online broadcast methods. Seven out of eight churches (87 percent)

EMERGING MEGA 1 , 0 0 0 -1 , 9 9 9 I N AV E R A G E W O R S H I P AT T E N DA N C E

LARGE 5 0 0 - 9 9 9 I N AV E R A G E W O R S H I P AT T E N DA N C E

MEDIUM 2 5 0 - 4 9 9 I N AV E R A G E W O R S H I P AT T E N DA N C E

SMALL 1 0 0 -2 4 9 I N AV E R A G E W O R S H I P AT T E N DA N C E

VERY SMALL U P T O 9 9 I N AV E R A G E W O R S H I P AT T E N DA N C E

DIFFERENCE

$55.80

$49.99

$5.81

$57.42

$54.90

$2.52

$53.39

$52.23

$1.16

$53.42

$52.03

$1.33

$46.00

$45.43

$0.57

$53.15

$51.25

$1.90

livestreamed their worship services in their entirety. Just under two-thirds (63 percent) of churches offered their full worship service on demand from their website. Less than one-third (32 percent) of churches provided only the message on demand on their website. And one-fourth of the churches rebroadcast their worship services after the fact.

Online Giving Online giving was an option at 88 percent of the churches surveyed. That method of giving was a lifesaver for many churches during pandemic-related closures because it enabled a steadier flow of giving amid irregular attendance patterns. Despite these two factors—large numbers of online attendees and the high use of online giving—our survey found that the bulk of a church’s giving came from inperson worshippers. Thus, online attendees are more likely to be consumers than contributors. The chart above, which shows average per-person giving based on general fund giving only, illustrates this point. Anyone who has tracked our per-person giving over the years will note that these averages are much larger than they have been historically—up about $20 per person on average. This indicates that while churches may be averaging only about three-fourths of their pre-

pandemic, in-person worship attendance, those people who left were contributing very little. Now it’s clearer that the core members and attendees who have remained have been and still are providing the lion’s share of a church’s weekly giving.

When Do Churches Count Online Viewers? More than half of the churches surveyed (58 percent) said they “only count worship attendees after they [viewers] watch a specific amount of time.” The amount of viewing time required to be counted as an online worshipper decreased slightly from 2020 to 2021, from 13 minutes to 12 minutes, respectively. Emerging megachurches required the highest average amount of time watched—16 minutes—to be counted as an online worshipper. Medium churches had the shortest time requirement, 10 minutes. Only 2 percent of the churches used 60 minutes as their minimum time guideline to count a viewer as a worship participant. Conversely, 15 percent of the churches reported that someone needed watch only for one minute to be counted as an online attendee. I hope someday soon churches will stop including these “scroll by” viewers to inflate their online worship attendance numbers. If someone walked into your worship center during a service and then left after a minute, would your church count that person as an in-person attendee?

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IN-PERSON & ONLINE COMBINED

MEGA 2 , 0 0 0 + I N AV E R A G E W O R S H I P AT T E N DA N C E

IN-PERSON ATTENDANCE ONLY

c hristia n sta nda rd

H o w M a n y Pa i r s o f E y e s A r e Wat c h i n g t h e S c r e e n ?

In my “Authentic Online Church” article, I advocated a simple, straightforward approach for counting online viewers: Churches should count one device as one online worshipper. (This method would avoid the use of “dishonest scales” that can baselessly inflate online numbers unnecessarily.) Half of the churches that reported online attendance figures said they used a “multiplier” of from 1 to 3 per device to determine their online attendance numbers. (For example, Church A and Church B might both have exactly 100 devices tuning in to worship, but Church A uses a multiplier of 1 for 100 total viewers, while Church B uses a multiplier of 3 for 300 total viewers.) The overall average multiplier used last year was 1.8 attendees per device. Thus, the average church multiplies the number of devices watching by 1.8 to determine total online attendance. This is an improvement over 2020 when the overall average multiplier used was 2.03, so we’re trending in a better direction. In 2021, megachurches and medium churches used the highest multiplier in our survey—an average of 1.9—followed closely by emerging megachurches and large and small churches, which used an average multiplier of 1.8. Very small churches used the lowest multiplier—1.5.

a b ou t th e au th o r

I segmented out the churches that reported using a multiplier to see what impact the multiplier had on their online attendance numbers. The combined average weekly online worship attendance for these churches was 156,860 when including the multiplier. If each of these churches had counted one device as one attendee—thus removing the multiplier—then the combined average weekly online worship attendance would have shrunk by 40 percent to 93,581.

D i g i ta l At t e n d a n c e T r a c k i n g

Kent E. Fillinger serves as president of 3:STRANDS Consulting, Indianapolis, Indiana, and regional vice president (Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan) with Christian Financial Resources.

/3strandsconsulting 3strandsconsulting.com

As technology continues to improve, new options are available for churches to incorporate into their online church services. One helpful tool is a digital welcome or attendance card for online viewers to complete. The digital attendance card enables a church to know how many people are watching their online services, thus it takes the guesswork out of the attendance counting process. A little more than one-third (36 percent) of the churches said they use a digital welcome or attendance card for their online viewers. Ironically, almost half (48 percent) of the churches that reported using a digital welcome or connection card to track online attendance still used a multiplier to report their online attendance. Why would a church continue to use a multiplier when they also use a digital attendance card to track attendance? Truthfully, I’m unsure; I’ll try to provide an answer by next year’s report. 

preach

hen my wife and I had been married for about 20 years, she took a part-time job to help pay for our children’s college. Fortunately for her, an opportunity came along to do something that fit with her artistic talent and interests, and she went to work for a small company that manufactured custom-made windows using a process called Stained Glass Overlay. Unlike traditional stained glass, she would use multiple materials like glass, multilayered polyester film, bevels, jewels, etc. to form a solid piece of decorative art glass. She absolutely loved her job and came home each day talking about the different pieces she was creating and their unique installations. I especially loved it when she brought home pictures of the finished product. I remember thinking two things about her job.

Pour Yourself into Your Preaching By Chris Philbeck

First, I was envious of the fact that her job offered a beginning and an end. When she finished a custommade window, it was complete. You could even say it was perfect. That’s not something we preachers experience in our work. Sometimes we can see the “fruit” of our preaching through responses that lead to a profession of faith, repentance, and baptism, but usually we do not get to see people become mature, “attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13), because it’s always a work in progress. We can get “glimpses” of the process, but it’s always a work in progress. Second, I loved being able to see the love and passion my wife has for art and artistic expression in her work. She loves the color blue, flowers, and creative design, and her love for those things—and so much more— could clearly be seen in her work. As a result, she poured a part of herself into each window she created, treating it like a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. In the end, each window became a blessing to her and the people for whom she created it.

Can They See You in Your Sermon? I believe there is, or should be, a powerful correlation between my wife’s experience of creating custommade windows and the experience of writing and preaching sermons. As her love and passion for art and artistic expression could clearly be seen in her work, a preacher’s love and passion for God and the transforming power of his Word should clearly be seen in his work of preaching. In The Sermon Maker: Tales of a Transformed Preacher, Calvin Miller wrote, “Sermons take their life from the nearness of God.” I shared my own “edited” version of this quote in an earlier column when I wrote, “Great

A few years ago, my wife and I moved into a new home. We had lived for 16 I'm ta l k i n g a b o u t s e e i n g o u r p e r s o n a l c o m m i t m e n t years in a two-story home with a full basement. But t o s h a r i n g G o d ’ s W o r d i n a way t h at g i v e s t h e m as empty nesters, we no h o p e . T h at h a p p e n s w h e n w e r e m e m b e r t h at t h e longer needed that much i m pa c t o f o u r p r e a c h i n g i s n o t a m at t e r o f v o l u m e space and, to be honest, o r s t r u c t u r e , b u t a m at t e r o f c o n n e c t i o n . we were tired of walking up and down the stairs. So, we bought a new home that just happened to have one of the windows my wife had created in the master bathroom. Whenever I look at that window, I see her in the painstaking attention she gave to each detail; I see her passion and her joy. abou t the au thor

“

I wonder, can our people see us in the sermons we preach? Please don’t misunderstand: I’m not talking about seeing us in the sense of our position, personality, or skill. And I’m certainly not talking about seeing us instead of Jesus. I’m talking about seeing our personal commitment to sharing God’s Word in a way that gives them hope. That happens when we remember that the impact of our preaching is not a matter of volume or structure, but a matter of connection.

How Can Suffering Improve Your Preaching? John Piper wrote, “I believe in homiletics. But not much. A thousand sorrows teaches a man to preach.” Those words remind me of Psalm 119:71, where a man named Aleph wrote, “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees” (New Living Translation). In December 2011, I was diagnosed with cancer in my right tonsil that had spread to my lymph nodes. I spent the next several weeks going through a series of chemotherapy and radiation treatments that were brutal. I was out of my pulpit for almost five months. My first series back in the pulpit was called, “Count on It (Trusting in the Promises of God).” I poured everything I had experienced through my suffering into those sermons focused on the faithfulness of God. It’s been 10 years since my diagnosis and treatment,

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but it still shapes the way I preach because it is a part of who I am; my personal experience with God gives weight to my words about God. And that’s not just true for me, it’s true for all of us. 

sermons come from the nearness of God.” But no matter how you say it, our passion for God and the everyday experience of his presence and work in our lives are a critical part of creating and delivering a sermon. People want to experience a deeper level of intimacy with God. And when they find a preacher who possesses that deeper level of intimacy, they will listen with hopeful hearts. That’s why one of the greatest potential failures of a preacher is to share the truth with others without being owned by it.

Chris Philbeck serves as senior pastor of Mount Pleasant Christian Church in Greenwood, Indiana. He has been in ministry since 1980 and has had the privilege of planting a new church, leading a turn-around church, and now leading a megachurch. Chris is passionate about biblical preaching, effective leadership, and developing new and better ways for the local church to make an impact in the community and the world. /PastorCPhilbeck @cphilbeck @pastorphilbeck

H E A LTHY

I NDIVI DUA L S

H E A LTHY I N DIVI DUA L S

The Rhythms of a Well-Lived Life: Being Healthy Is Your Responsibility! By Alan Ahlgrim

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Too many times in my life my “stinkin’ thinkin’” and substandard theology led me to patterns that failed to improve my well-being. A few examples: •

I once determined to read the entire Bible out loud over the course of a year. That drained me more than blessed me.

•

I once committed to a schedule that included both evening appointments and early morning meetings. Burning the candle at both ends left me flamed out. I was depleted by weariness and self-pity.

•

I once adhered to a daily jogging regimen in all weathers. That led to injuries, especially when running on snow and ice.

I’ve learned most of my best lessons the hard way. The lessons are all rooted in enhancing well-being versus pursuing nonstop, demanding disciplines. I used to frequently talk—even brag—about my personal disciplines, goals, and habits, but now I prefer to talk about my life-giving rhythms. I now seek to share these lessons with other leaders near and far. Not that I’m in perfect health. No one is in ideal condition for very long. We all have some nagging and even embarrassing limitations.

To help me deal well with those limitations, every morning I usually review the classic prayer of Reinhold Niebuhr: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him in the next. After reflecting on that, I told one of my doctors, “I’m learning to accept some physical limitations with my hearing, vision, and neck difficulties. But I’m also realizing I must courageously choose to do what I can to improve what I can. For me, that means regular exercise and medical care.” One reason I remain consistent with both of these is that I want to remain as healthy as I can for as long as I can. I’m determined to enjoy a well-lived life!

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Life-Giving Rhythms I’m discovering my life will be no richer than my rhythms. I quickly feel out of whack and even out of sorts without them. Many people in the business world say, “Your systems are perfectly designed to get you what you are getting!” I’ll rephrase that by changing one word: “Your rhythms are perfectly designed to get you what you are getting.” When I shared that with a covenant group as we reconnected on a Zoom call during COVID-19, a young leader said, “Now I realize what’s happening with me. Ever since the current crisis began, I stopped the life-giving rhythms. I’m now paying the price!” Are you rhythmically thriving or merely surviving? These three areas of my life consistently produce the greatest return on investment for me: •

Reflection: I love to begin each day slowly soaking in God’s presence, listening for his leading, and seeking his prompting. It leads to ground me in God’s daily mercies.

•

Relationships: I daily seek to connect with life-enhancing people who sharpen, deepen, and resource me. It leads to connect me with the gift of disciplined community.

•

Recreation: Daily exercise isn’t an interruption in my life; it’s an enhancement. It leads to invigorate me in body, mind, and spirit with God’s creation.

These healthy rhythms help me thrive much more than those earlier nonstop, demanding disciplines. Thriving is all about well-being. King David prayed, “The Lord be exalted, who delights in the well-being of his servant” (Psalm 35:27). Guilt may be a great short-term motivator, but only grace works well over the long term. I’m learning to focus more on the why and less on the what. Gracefull rhythms are the key to grace-filled living. As Anne Lamott wrote, “I do not understand the mystery of grace—only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.” It all comes back to the geometry of the cross. The vertical dimension points to a love relationship with God, and the horizontal, to a love relationship with others.

Multidimensional Aspects of Thriving By God’s grace, I’m making some refreshing progress on my journey. While I don’t plan to take up dancing in old age, I do desire to learn more about the unforced rhythms of God’s grace. How about you? Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how

By God’s grace,

I’ve been led,

through reflection,

relationships,

and recreation,

to the land of well-being.

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I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or illfitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message). By God’s grace, I’ve been led, through reflection, relationships, and recreation, to the land of wellbeing. Jesus said, “The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy . . .”—which sort of sounds like COVID-19 to me—but then he added, “My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10). A rich and satisfying life is what we all want to enjoy; we don’t merely want to survive to the finish line, we want to thrive. However, thriving is more than one-dimensional. We may be in fine physical health, but there is more to well-being than mere biology. Thriving is a multidimensional reality.

may have physical strength, without regular exercise we will soon experience lethargy and atrophy. Furthermore, without life-giving relationships, we will descend into an emotional quagmire of meaningless self-centeredness; conversely, “toxic” relationships can poison our spirit.

Life-Giving Changes No one enjoys perfection in life, but we can experience overall well-being. For me, that comes back to depending on the grace of God by accepting the things I cannot change and assuming responsibility to change and improve the things I can. I alone can make those choices. It’s the same with you!

When visiting with my physician son recently, Joel said health is four-dimensional; it includes biological, psychological, social, and spiritual aspects. Medical science too often focuses exclusively on the easy-to-measure biological aspects of health but overlooks or minimizes the other factors. Studies have shown, for example, that stress, relationships, and even worship affect our health.

You probably know the sort of life-giving changes you need to make. It may mean getting a physical examination and taking proper medications. (Or it may mean getting off your “blessed assurance” so you can eliminate some medications!) It may mean practicing gratitude and trying to eliminate negativity. It may even mean ending your self-imposed isolation and embracing the joy-producing benefit of in-depth relationships. Regular exercise, healthy relationships, and encouragement can improve your brain health and biochemistry.

Health isn’t just a matter of good genetics and medications. Health is rooted in relationship. Human beings are marvelously complex. While we

Whatever God-prompted changes come to mind for you, your well-being requires that you cooperate with the grace of God! 

Parts of this article are excerpted from my book, Soul Strength: Rhythms for Thriving (Illumify Media, 2022). After 50 years of ministry, including almost three decades as founding pastor of Rocky Mountain Christian Church in Colorado, Alan Ahlgrim now serves as the chief soul-care officer of Covenant Connections for Pastors. covenant-connections.org

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H E A LTHY I N DIVI DUA L S

How Will the Church Respond to the Mental Health Crisis? Ben Cachiaras

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Emotional well-being is in serious decline. It’s a palpable crisis that was bad before the pandemic. The isolation, social upheaval, polarization, and massive changes with work, school, and life have exacerbated the crisis, creating an extended ambiguity and heightened stress that’s a perfect cocktail for burnout and emotional struggle. (I first heard it put that way by Paul Alexander, president of Hope International University.) No wonder the World Health Organization’s recent scientific brief states that the global prevalence of anxiety and depression has increased 25 percent since the pandemic’s arrival in early 2020. Recent surveys reveal a radical downturn in attitudes and soaring levels of anxiety and worry on all fronts. Anxiety is now the No. 1 issue for women. And for men, it’s No. 2 behind alcohol and drugs—which may be because men can’t say they’re anxious but mask it by hiding behind weed and booze or worse. Whether it’s people who serve in the military or law enforcement, health care professionals, or educators—it seems everyone is struggling. A recent Barna survey revealed 38 percent of pastors seriously contemplated quitting during the past year. Mental disorders are the leading cause of disability worldwide, according to a 2014 article in the International Journal of Epidemiology; such disorders now affect one in five adults, and the percentage is growing, another professional journal reported. Generation Z (those born 1999 to 2015) is the most stressed-out generation ever. In recent years the share of high school students who say they experience “persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness” rose from 26 percent to 44 percent—the highest level of sadness ever recorded, according to an April 2022 article at the Association for Psychological Science website (psychologicalscience.org). So, almost half our kids feel hopeless! And 50 percent of parents of teens report worsened or new mental health problems in their teens since the beginning of the pandemic; most times it’s depression and anxiety. Many children and young adults are fearful, sad, and struggling with life. As a result, suicide has become epidemic; it is now the second-leading cause of death for young people ages 10 to 24. Bottom line: When it comes to the people in our churches and the ones we’re seeking to reach, many are languishing rather than flourishing. And the worst may be yet to come . . . like a massive tsunami wave roiling at sea and heading our way. We have a problem. What can the church do? What must we do?

We have a problem.

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We can begin by anchoring our response upon Jesus and his care for people. With these emotional health statistics in mind, listen to how Jesus described his mission. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners . . . to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion . . . to bestow . . . a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:1-3, emphasis mine; see also Luke 4:18-19). Jesus had good news for those held captive, disabled, and oppressed by despair. These are precisely the issues people suffering from mental illness are struggling with today. First-century Palestine viewed what we call “mental health” differently, for sure. But there is no doubt Jesus would see mental health as a priority today. The Gerasene demoniac was out of control, hopeless, and selfharming—symptoms similar to emotional distress today—and Jesus restored him to “his right mind” (Mark 5:15). A close look at the Sermon on the Mount reveals “Jesus was concerned with exactly the same things that we label as mental health issues,” Christopher C.H. Cook writes in “Mental Health in the Kingdom of God.” That mountain sermon included themes of anxiety, prayer, forgiveness, and inner authenticity, showing that Jesus’ teaching on the kingdom of God was very much concerned with things we now consider to be the domain of “mental health.” In other words, good mental health is a trait of life in the kingdom of God. It’s how God made us to be. It’s clear Jesus’ ministry extended beyond the “care of souls” or purely “spiritual matters.” He was concerned for the whole person. Matthew summarized Jesus’ focus this way: [He was] teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed and he healed them all (Matthew 3:23-24). Can there be any doubt Jesus wants to heal people who struggle with mental health?

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Every church doesn’t have to do everything. But every church can do something.

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In his book Madness and Grace: A Practical Guide for Pastoral Care and Serious Mental Illness, Matthew Stanford reminds us that people in psychological distress are more likely to turn to their pastor and the church than to a mental health care provider or physician. People are turning to the church like they turned to Jesus. What an opportunity! And it’s not just our own flock. The data indicate that those seeking help are often unchurched. It’s time for the church to recognize that responding to the mental health crisis is central to our mission. Showing Christlike compassion, offering tangible help, and guiding people toward the “abundant” life (John 10:10) that God intends is exactly what Jesus came to do. And it’s what he calls us to do, as well. Every church needn’t do everything. But every church can do something. Churches of any size or location that focus on these five R’s will make a difference. Recognition Church leaders sometimes resist talking about mental health issues. Maybe we don’t realize its devastating impact. Or we don’t understand that mental health challenges often lie behind the problems people bring to us. We must recognize we have a problem and then identify an issue as related to mental health when it arises. Too many people are suffering in silence or are worried about the stigma associated with emotional sickness. When Jesus “saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36). What is your church doing to truly see the growing numbers of people with mental health struggles so you can respond with Christlike compassion? Relationships Providing a beautiful web of community constructed of genuine, healthy spiritual friendships is one of the most important and impactful things the church must do. We have seen the horrible effects of isolation. Meaningful relationships bring healing strength and light. Healthy groups become the place where loads are lifted and perspective is regained through “encouraging one another” (Hebrews 10:25). Relationships are crucial, allowing us to “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way . . . fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).

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This is no time for surface-level relationships in the church. More than ever, the church needs to provide a safe harbor of listening ears and spiritual connection among supportive friends who serve as emotional health first responders. Additional training in helping people and improving listening skills will make an even greater difference. Resources In addition to core ministries like worship, preaching, teaching, fellowship, and service, there are additional resources churches provide that make a tremendous impact in addressing emotional health issues. Every church can provide restorative programs or connect with those that do. When we are involved in prison ministry, recovery ministry, ministry to the homeless, combatting human trafficking, disaster response, and many others, we are already engaged in mental health ministry—even if we don’t realize it. These resources release captives from oppression. The student ministry team at our church recently recorded a panel discussion about suicide, depression, and mental health with local Christian counselors and youth pastors. They created an incredibly valuable resource for parents and students. What resources could your church draw upon to give tools to parents and guidance to strugglers? Address suicide, stress, and grief from the pulpit. Share resources offering help. The ministry of reconciliation sometimes means connecting people to resources that can bring healing for life’s hurts. Referral Sometimes additional help is needed that goes beyond the relationships and resources in a church body. When trying to help with serious emotional health issues, it’s wise and responsible for church leaders to refer these individuals to competent professional Christian counselors. Counselors and talk therapy are not a

Relationships are particularly vital for young people. So many have weak levels of connection, which increases the likelihood of poor mental health and the abuse of drugs and alcohol. Teens today spend more than five hours every day on social media, Derek Thompson writes in The Atlantic. That “social” habit is displacing a lot of other beneficial activities . . . like hanging out with friends and going to youth group. Is it any surprise loneliness spiked during the pandemic? This social isolation is a leading contributor to kids feeling sad, anxious, and depressed.

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replacement for God, prayer, faith, or the church. But just as God works through surgeons and medical doctors to bring healing to our physical bodies, God can work through counselors to bring healing to our minds and spirits. It’s time to destigmatize counseling and therapy. It’s time to acknowledge that anxiety and mental health challenges are not signs a person lacks faith, any more than diabetes or the flu are signs a person lacks faith. It’s time to stop suggesting that good Christians should ignore their pain and to stop implying medicine is an embarrassing necessity for lesser Christians who can’t manage their problems through faith and prayer. It’s time to stop saying we should just get over it, pray it away, stop being so inwardfocused, and get on with life. Such poor advice, regardless how well-meaning people think it is, only piles additional burdens upon those already crushed under emotional struggle. God made us complex beings. A skillful counselor can bring hope through the work of the Holy Spirit to help people untangle emotions, heal from grief, overcome hurtful memories, and process wounds. This kind of healing can free people to experience the peace of Christ and serve with greater gusto. Real Hope The gospel offers this ultimate gift to sufferers: hope. Following Jesus doesn’t mean we won’t have struggles, sorrows, pain, or mental health challenges. Jesus sweat drops of blood during his anguish in the garden. But his confidence in the joy before him enabled him to endure the cross and its shame. That same hope is also our own key to coping with life. Preachers must preach Christ, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27)! Every week our auditoriums are filled with people who are hurting. People need to know their present sufferings are not worth comparing to the future glory (Romans 8:18). People need hope not just for eternity, but for today. Dante’s Inferno pictures Hell as a black cave with a sign overhead: “Abandon hope all ye who enter here.” Hope is hemorrhaging all around us. People are languishing. But Jesus provides hope that transcends our circumstances. A hope that trusts God is faithful and working, even when we can’t see or feel him. It’s a hope so solid we can persevere through any trial the world can throw at us. We do have a problem. But we also have hope in Christ. It’s time to peddle that hope like never before. 

Ben Cachiaras serves as lead minister with Mountain Christian Church, Joppa, Maryland.

God

made us

complex beings.

HEALTHY

FAMILIES

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HEALTHY FAMILIES

Current Trends in Dating, Marriage, and Parenting By Kent E. Fillinger

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When I was young, whenever a boy and girl played together on the school playground, the other kids typically would tease them by singing “The Kissing Song”: “[Boy’s name] and [girl’s name], sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage!” The order prescribed in that song is being followed less and less these days. The purpose of this article is to explore recent data on dating, marriage, and parenting to help church leaders better understand current trends to help shape future teaching and ministry possibilities. Dating An October 2019 Pew Research Center survey found that nearly half of U.S. adults—and most women—say dating has become more difficult in the last 10 years. For the 15 percent of American adults who are single and looking for a committed relationship or casual dates, most say they are dissatisfied with their dating lives and that it has been difficult to find people to date. This may help explain why about 50.2 percent, or 124.6 million American adults, are single; in 1950, that number was 22 percent. The average age at which men (35 years old) and women (33) marry has increased for the last few decades as well. The challenges of finding someone to date may help to explain why 77 percent of single adults who are looking for a relationship said they would consider a relationship with someone of a different religion. Only 9 percent said they “definitely would not” date someone from a different religion. The same study discovered that most single people—whether they are dating or not—say they don’t feel a lot of pressure to

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find a partner from their friends, family, or society in general. Only 22 percent say they feel at least some pressure from friends, 31 percent feel pressure from family members, and 37 percent say they feel society is pressuring them. Feeling pressure to be in a committed relationship is highly dependent on age. Younger singles (ages 18-to-29) feel much more pressure from friends, family, and society. For example, over half of these younger singles (53 percent) say there’s at least some pressure from society to find a partner. The lack of perceived pressure may help explain why fully half of single adults say they’re not currently looking for a relationship or dates. Among those who are looking to date, about half are open to either a committed relationship or casual dates. Single men are far more likely than single women to be looking for a relationship or dates (61 percent vs. 38 percent, respectively). Online dating is a primary source for those looking to date today. The Knot 2019 Jewelry and Engagement Study found that about 22 percent of newly married respondents said they met their partner online. A Pew Research Center study revealed that almost twothirds of adults (65 percent) say sex between unmarried adults in a committed relationship is acceptable at least sometimes, including 43 percent who say it is always acceptable. Casual sex between consenting adults who are not in a committed relationship is also seen as generally acceptable (62 percent). About half (49 percent) say it is acceptable for consenting adults to exchange explicit images of themselves. Despite these common cavalier views on premarital sex and cohabitation, the U.S. government’s National Survey of Family Growth showed that young women who married

between the ages of 22 and 30 without ever cohabitating prior to marriage had some of the lowest rates of divorce. Women who had lived with men other than their future husband before marriage were more than twice as likely to end up divorced, according to the Wall Street Journal article, “Too Risky to Wed in Your 20’s? Not If You Avoid Cohabiting First” (February 5-6, 2022). The writers of the article struggled to explain these findings, but anyone who has read the Bible could tell them why it works best to follow God’s ways. Marriage Gallup research from late 2020 shows that society’s view on the importance of marriage continues to change. Less than one-third (29 percent) of people said it’s very important for couples with children together to be legally married, down from 49 percent in 2006. And 38 percent of Americans say it’s very important for couples to marry if they plan to live together the rest of their lives, down from 54 percent in 2006. Churchgoers’ views on marriage are also changing. In 2006, almost two-thirds (65 percent) of weekly church attendees said it was very important that couples who sired children together legally marry. That share fell to 45 percent in 2020. Currently, 67 percent of weekly churchgoers say marriage is very important for couples who want to spend their lives together, down from 82 percent in 2006. According to a Gallup survey, in 1996, 27 percent of Americans said same-sex marriages should be recognized as legally valid and hold the same rights as traditional marriage. In 2012, when Gallup first began asking about LGBTQ identification, the American public was evenly split on same-sex marriage—50 percent affirmed same-sex

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marriages and 48 percent did not. Today, 70 percent say such marriages should be legally valid and 29 percent disagree. While biblical views on marriage continue to deteriorate, the research proving the wide-ranging benefits of traditional marriage and church involvement for couples is unmistakable. A study released by the Institute of Family Studies (IFS) found that couples who regularly go to church together report higher levels of happiness than those who don’t. More than 3 in 4 regular church-attending couples (78 percent) say they are “very happy” or “extremely happy” in their relationship. More than three-quarters of married couples who had mutual religious friends (76 percent) reported happy relationships, compared to 65 percent of those who don’t have those kinds of relationships. Praying together also is a good indicator of happiness, with 78 percent of couples who do so almost every week or more reporting being very or extremely happy. Only 61 percent of those who don’t pray together that often report the same type of happiness. Parenting Research from the National Academy of Sciences discovered that the less education a woman has, the more likely she is to become a parent for the first time outside of marriage. Among women ages 32 to 38 who do not have a high school diploma, 87 percent delivered their first child while unmarried; among women with only a high school diploma, the figure dropped to 60 percent. Among women with at least a bachelor’s degree, 25 percent were unmarried when they had their first child, according to surveys from 2017–2018 (that was a sixfold increase from 1996, when the share was 4 percent for that group, the Wall Street Journal reported).

Despite a growing number of new parents who are unmarried, the annual birth rates continue to decline. A September 2021 Census Bureau survey reported that the number of U.S. births has declined every year since 2008 (except for 2014). This likely signals a decreasing number of new parents for churches to serve. But according to a 2020 Barna study, more than half of engaged Christian parents (58 percent) chose their current church primarily because of the children’s program. More than nine out of 10 parents of children under age 13 have a muddled worldview, according to new research from the American Worldview Inventory 2022, conducted by the Cultural Research Center at Arizona Christian University. The study based that conclusion on the fact that most of today’s parents of younger children are millennials (born 1981-96), the adult generation in America least likely to possess a biblical worldview. The younger the parent, according to research, the less likely they are to have a biblical worldview. That leaves 94 percent of parents of preteens having a worldview known as syncretism, a blending of multiple beliefs and practices in which no single life philosophy is dominant; this produces a worldview that is diverse and often selfcontradictory. On a positive note, research showed the three groups of churches that boast an above-average proportion of parents of preteens who possess a biblical worldview are nondenominational or independent Protestant churches, Pentecostal or charismatic churches, and evangelical churches. Parents associated with congregations that are nondenominational or independent Protestant were about eight times more likely than the national norm to have a biblical worldview, while those aligned with either evangelical

“ EVERY PARENT TEACHES WHAT THEY KNOW & MODELS WHAT THEY BELIEVE, "

George Barna

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or charismatic Protestant churches were about three times more likely. However, only 19 percent of children under 13 attend those types of churches. “Every parent teaches what they know and models what they believe,” said researcher George Barna. “They can only give what they have, and what they have to give reflects their driving beliefs about life and spirituality. Parents are not the only agents of influence on their children’s worldview, but they remain both a primary influence and a gatekeeper to other influences.” Springtide’s 2019-2020 study, “The State of Religion and Young People 2020,” surveyed more than 10,000 young people ages 13-25 and asked them where, or in what settings, they’ve met their friends. The largest proportion of young people say they’ve met friends at school (81 percent), followed by their local neighborhood (43 percent), or at work (38 percent). Only 28 percent said they met friends within a church or spiritual community, or about the same chance of meeting someone by happenstance (26 percent). Why is that? Because 47 percent of Generation Z (born 1997 and 2012) attend religious services once a year or less, which is the same percentage of young people who attend religious services once a month or more. Additionally, only 37 percent of Generation Z say they attend a youth group. An increasing number of parents are raising a child who identifies as LGBTQ. And almost every Christian student will have an LGBTQ friend or classmate, so church leaders must speak on issues of sexuality with truth and love. The latest Gallup survey found 7.1 percent of the population identify as LGBTQ, up from 4.5 percent in 2017. This number is still far below what the average American estimates—that 24 percent of the U.S. population identifies as LGBTQ.

Among Generation Z, however, 16 percent say they are something other than heterosexual, significantly higher than other generations—millennials (9 percent), Generation X (born 1965-80, 4 percent), baby boomers (1946-64, 2 percent), and traditionalists (1928-45, 1 percent). Women (10 percent) are more likely than men (5 percent) to identify as LGBTQ, according to Gallup. Additional research indicates many of those individuals identify not only as LGBTQ but also as Christian. One survey found 23 percent say they’re a Christian/Protestant. Conclusion “The Kissing Song” may no longer be popular on playgrounds, but the need for churches to invest time, teaching, and resources in the areas of dating, marriage, and parenting continues to be essential. The cultural tide continues to shift around us, so churches must innovate and experiment with new methods while maintaining the same biblical principles to impact change. 

HEALTHY FAMILIES

The Slavery of the Digital World: HOW TO BREAK THE CHAINS AND BUILD A TECH-WISE LIFE FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN By Tyler McKenzie

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I believe history will remember 2007 as a defining year. Why? In 2007, a nuclear-sized tech explosion occurred. Facebook transitioned from a college to global phenomenon. Twitter went global. “The cloud” took off. Hadoop began expanding the ability of any company to store and analyze enormous amounts of unstructured data (which enabled big data and cloud computing). Amazon released its first Kindle. Google introduced Android. And (drumroll please) Steve Jobs introduced the firstgeneration iPhone. As I mentioned in my May/June Engage column, by 2012, more than 50 percent of Americans owned a smartphone. Last year, Pew Research reported the number had reached 85 percent. If you were born in the 21st century, you are what sociologists call “digital natives”—you don’t remember a time when smartphones were not prevalent. Children and young adults are seemingly captivated by their screens and social media for hours on end, and yet researchers say they are experiencing an acceleration of mental health problems, anti-social behaviors, and extended adolescence. Sherry Turkle, a sociologist and psychologist at Massachusetts Institute of Technology, suggests that devices which accompany us everywhere introduce a brand-new dynamic to the parent-child relationship. Children—rather than just competing with siblings for their parents’ attention—now must

compete for attention against iPhones and iPads, Siri and Alexa, Apple watches and computers. Turkle writes, “A generation has grown up that has lived a very unsatisfying youth and really does not associate their phones with any kind of glamour, but rather with a sense of deprivation.” Building a ‘Tech Rule of Life’ I’m not anti-tech. Technological innovation is a form of cultivating the earth (Genesis 2:15, New American Standard Bible) and an exercise of the mind. When technology advances for the good of humanity, we are operating in our God-given sweet spot as a species. However, as technology advances at breakneck speed, we should be asking, Has our tech outpaced our ethics? The problem is we automatically assume that new means good, progress means better, and easier means happier. Subsequently, we do no real theological reflection on these advancements until it’s too late. I believe the best solution is to build a “Tech Rule of Life.” This puts tech in its proper place under the rule of Jesus. A rule of life is a set of intentional rhythms and restrictions you accept to keep you (and your kids) walking in the way of Jesus. They are like bumpers at a bowling alley; as you roll down the lane of life, a good rule keeps you on track toward the goal.

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Tech-Wise Values for Families In Andy Crouch’s book The Tech-Wise Family, he lays out his family’s tech rule of life. It is very thoughtful. He’s way further down the road than me. He begins by introducing six big-picture values upon which a rule of life can be built. I’ll summarize five of them: 1. We use tech to build our closest relationships. Crouch writes, “Technology is in its proper place when it helps us bond with the real people we have been given to love. It’s out of its proper place when we end up bonding with people at a distance, like celebrities, whom we will never meet.” As I wrote this, I pulled up the front page of the Wall Street Journal and with just a few clicks I could give you a full profile on the stock market. I can tell you about iPhone sales in China, Elon Musk’s latest entrepreneurial adventure, and the best and worst airlines of 2021. I can tell you about the spread of hunger in Afghanistan and drilling in the Gulf of Mexico. But can I tell you my neighbor’s name? Tech is out of its proper place when I’m giving most of my attention to that in which I have little investment rather than the people I have real power to shape. 2. We use tech to have healthy conversations. Crouch writes, “Technology is in its proper place when it starts great conversations. It’s out of its proper place when it prevents us from talking with and listening to one another.” Tech distracts us from being good conversation partners, and conversations on social media are generally unhealthy. People either rage on each other or engage in self-promotion. It’s our own little stage where we perform for the attention (or pity) of others. Have you ever noticed that we cast ourselves as the hero, sage, or victim in every post? “Look at my holy rage! Look at my accomplishment! Look at my suffering! My brilliant political take! My perfect marriage! My glamorous social life! How sophisticated I am! Look at me!” It’s not about conversation. It’s about egotism and outrage. 3. We use tech while remaining mindful of our physical limits. Crouch writes, “Technology is in its proper place when it helps us take care of the fragile bodies we inhabit. It’s out of its proper place when it promises to help us escape the limits and vulnerabilities of those bodies altogether.”

When tech is causing us to lose sleep and stay up late, when it’s turning our lives sedentary, when it’s making us constantly available to work (even on weeknights, then on weekends, then on the Sabbath and while on vacation, and then during worship services), it’s not healthy. 4. We use tech for cultivation, not consumption. Crouch writes, “Technology is in its proper place when it helps us acquire skill and mastery of domains that are the glory of human culture. . . . [But] when we let technology replace the development of skill with passive consumption, something has gone wrong.” One of the great dystopian portrayals of this is in the film WALL-E, a masterpiece from Pixar. Here’s my overzealous synopsis: When the people leave our trashed planet on a spaceship, tech takes over. It makes life easy. People live to consume rather than cultivate or create. They grow more sedentary, unskilled, and obese with each generation. Tech locks them into this cycle, which ends up being a downward spiral into meaninglessness and unhappiness. Yet the brave captain, Wall-E, and Eve defeat the evil tech. The captain takes everyone back to earth with a plant. The movie ends with a comical scene where they walk out of the ship and he tells the kids, "You kids are gonna grow all kinds of plants. Vegetable plants. Pizza plants!" Point is, comfort doesn’t build character, passivity doesn’t build courage, and luxury doesn’t build wisdom. What makes our era of technology different is our tech works by itself. For all human history, technologies were things like farming tools or weapons. All of which require human effort. Now we have Roombas that sneak out while we’re at work and cars that are learning to drive themselves. 5. We use tech to cherish the created world. Crouch writes, “Technology is in its proper place when it helps us cultivate awe for the created world we are part of and responsible for stewarding. . . . It’s out of its proper place when it keeps us from engaging the wild and wonderful natural world with all our senses.” This one is self-explanatory. Go for a walk! Leave your phone! Every experience doesn’t have to be documented, shared, and experienced secondhand through a screen.

comfort doesn’t build character, passivity doesn’t build courage,

and luxury doesn’t build wisdom.

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Real-Life Practices From this values-rich soil, we can begin to build a tech rule of real-life practices. These practices aim to limit tech in healthy ways and leverage it to nurture our faith. What follows is a list of practices I’ve mostly stolen from others. • Start with a digital detox (and repeat when necessary). This is exactly what it sounds like—30 days off all technology not essential to your job. We’re addicts. We don’t have the discipline to cut back just a little. We need to start with something radical. • Implement the 1-1-1 Rule. Go phone-free one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year. • Do not permit screen usage during meals. • Do not permit screen usage during worship. • Do not permit screen usage at big life events. I officiate lots of weddings. Five years ago, it was popular to have a wedding hashtag. People could snap pics of the party and post them in one place. Today the trend has flipped. Weddings have quickly gone from hashtags to “unplugged services.” I’ve asked new couples why they insist on this, and they say something like, “We don’t want to see people’s phones; we want to see their eyes and their smiles.” • Shape space around conversation. How is the most comfortable room in your home shaped and furnished? What’s the centerpiece? Is it the TV? • Share passwords with spouses; parents have total access to kids’ devices. • Set time limits for everyone’s screens. • Permanently switch phones to DND (do not disturb). • Turn off notifications. • Don’t load social media apps onto phones. • Don’t start the day with your phone. Don’t let a newsfeed or timeline set your emotional temperature for the day. • Limit unnecessary phone usage in front of kids. • Don’t reward kids with more screen time. • Limit tech usage to one screen at a time. • Watch only quality television. This one is big. We should consume entertainment for art, learning, formation, and fun. Stay away from the tawdry stuff that capitalizes on the thrill of violence or sex.

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Your Rules and Rhythms Determine Your Life When it comes to technology, you already have a rule of life. You already have screen habits that are forming you into who you will be over the long haul. You have shaped your homes around what you want to shape you. You have social media habits. You have a weekend rhythm. You have a morning routine when you wake up and an evening routine when you wind down. You may have drifted into it unconsciously— you may never have written it down—but it is forming you. I lovingly encourage you to put tech in its proper place. A good rule doesn’t constrict you; rather, it frees you from the slavery of the digital world. You will be less anxious and angry, more joyful and present in the moment. You won’t turn your brain off to mindless consumption, you’ll turn your brain on to people, nature, and learning. You will read more, chat more, notice more, and hang more with loved ones. You will get hours of your time back. You will get your attention span back. It will be easier to pray and read Scripture. Also, you won’t hand your soul over to politicians, brands, social media platforms, apps, and news corporations each day. Your rules and rhythms will determine your life. Build a rule worth living. 

HEALTHY

CHURCHES

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HEALTHY CHURCHES

The Vital Signs We Must Measure By Matt Merold

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In every hospital room, sitting right by the patient’s bed, is an electronic vital signs monitor. Most of these monitors display the four main vital signs that are regularly checked by medical professionals. A vital signs monitor is a quick and simple way to assess the patient’s current health. Body temperature, pulse rate, blood pressure, respiration rate—if all four of these are in the normal range, the patient is assumed to be stable and healthy. Based mostly on vital signs, a physician will describe the patient’s condition with just one word: good, fair, serious, critical, or dead. Every church leadership should have a quick and simple way to assess the congregation’s health at any moment. However, most do not. If you were asked, “How is your church doing?” how would you describe its present condition? Good, fair, serious, critical, or, sadly, dead? I’ve discovered most churchgoers don’t know the true state of their congregation.

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Count and Compare In some ways, it’s understandable that the average churchgoer doesn’t really know the condition of their congregation. But it’s reckless for a church leader not to know. I think most church leaders need an unbiased assessment of their congregation’s health, but from my observation, most are not keeping track of metrics that matter. Keeping track of quantitative and qualitative data can help you accurately assess the health of the church you serve. To be fair, most leaders know if attendance is up or down, but they don’t know by how much, how little, or whether a trend is forming. It’s just a Sunday-to-Sunday thing, and sometimes it’s just a feeling . . . like the preacher who says, “The auditorium felt full.” As church leaders, it’s important to have a vital signs monitor—a set of metrics that can simply and quickly give you the condition of the congregation. The quantitative vital signs I routinely check are baptisms, offering, and attendance. These three metrics provide a quick snapshot of congregational health, especially when compared to the previous year or previous quarter. You can quickly assess whether the congregation is making disciples (baptisms), has bought in (offering), and is growing (attendance). I encourage you to at least keep track of three metrics every week and compare them week-to-week and yearover-year to get a true sense of the condition of the congregation. By the way, these numbers probably should be kept on a spreadsheet and not displayed on a wall in the sanctuary or foyer. (Remember those days?)

Some say, “I don’t want to become overly focused on numbers; people are what’s really important.” I agree, but hear me: People are so important they should be counted and identified. Counting people is important; at least God thinks so. How many people were baptized after Peter preached the gospel in Acts 2? How many people did Jesus miraculously feed near Bethsaida? How much money did the leaders of Israel offer to God to build the temple in 1 Chronicles 29? Someone was counting! I’m not suggesting you count because you have numeric goals for attendance or baptisms. I have heard of pastors and leadership teams having goals for baptisms, which seems shortsighted. Can you imagine the apostles in a boardroom strategizing a numeric goal for total baptisms before Peter preached in Acts 2? Do you think Peter said something like, “I’m not going to stop preaching until we have 3,000 respond to be baptized”? The idea is to keep a simple count because it’s a quick measure of health or decline. So, based on the three major vital signs (attendance, baptism, offering), what is the condition of your congregation? Don’t know? Get counting! Before I go further, let me remind you that unhealthy things can grow too. Doctors can describe the patient’s condition as good based on the vital signs, yet the patient’s body or mental state could be rapidly deteriorating. The same can be true of churches. A congregation can have a good number of baptisms, a substantial amount of money, and explosive growth, yet the culture of the church could be unhealthy. It could be failing in the mission to which Christ has called us.

A DISCIPLE IS becoming the kind of person Jesus would be. A DISCIPLE IS learning to follow Jesus and learning to do the things Jesus did.

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Measure What Matters Making disciples is the primary mission of the church. What the world needs most, right now, are healthy churches that are making disciples who make disciples. So, are you making disciples? How do you know? Can you even track disciple-making at your church? If you are strictly looking at the three quantitative vital signs listed above, I don’t think you’ll be able to discern whether your church is making disciples. I’m a part of a learning community through Renew.org. I recently heard Bobby Harrington say, “We can only ‘make disciples’ if we know what a disciple is and how to make one.” We define a disciple as someone who is following Jesus, is committed to the mission of Jesus, and is being transformed by the example of Jesus. When Jesus called believers to “go and make disciples” (Matthew 28:19), he didn’t distinctly identify what a disciple looks like. However, Jesus did provide a simple pathway for how to make one. In the Great Commission, Jesus clearly asserted that the first step of making a disciple is to baptize them. The branch is dead and powerless when it’s not connected to the vine. If you are witnessing baptisms at your church, you can be sure you are witnessing the first part of disciple-making. But disciple-making isn’t an event, it’s a development. In Matthew 28, Jesus continued instructing that disciples are to be taught to obey what Christ has commanded. A disciple is receptive enough to learn and humble enough to obey the teaching and commands of Jesus. Jesus concluded by saying he will be with us to the very end. A disciple must live by faith that Jesus is everpresent. This faith that Jesus is always with us should be on display in the life of a disciple.

I’ve heard it summed up this way: A disciple is becoming the kind of person Jesus would be. A disciple is learning to follow Jesus and learning to do the things Jesus did. Disciple-making is not a pathway, though a pathway that intentionally positions people to pursue Jesus is important. It’s not a program, though programs such as classes or learning communities are needed. Nor is disciple-making a staff position. Churches are strengthening their staff with disciple-making ministers—and rightly so—but disciple-making is far more diverse than a staff person can administer. The greatest metric of disciple-making is found in the number of disciples who are making disciples. To measure if the congregation is making disciples, ask, How many people in the congregation are baptizing friends, family members, and co-workers? And even beyond baptism, how many in your congregation are leading people to follow Jesus? And beyond following Jesus, how many in your congregation are teaching others so that lives will be transformed by the example of Jesus? It’s not an easy metric to measure; it’s more qualitative than quantitative. But you can determine whether a congregation is living out the commission Jesus gave to go and make disciples. Disciple-making is a metric that should matter to every congregation because it matters to Jesus. We measure what matters. And if all we’re doing as congregations are measuring the vital signs, we’re likely measuring the wrong things. The measurement for making disciples is not about how many mission trips someone has been on or how much biblical knowledge they’ve amassed. It’s not about how often someone is unleashing compassion on your community or serving in the church. Those things will all be the fruits of a true disciple. Jesus taught us that true disciples will be recognized by their fruit. The metric that should matter most is this: Is the church making disciples who make disciples?

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Here are four questions that, when answered, can assess the true health of a congregation. These questions will help you determine if the congregation is truly living out the Great Commission. 1. How many people are surrendering their life to follow Jesus? Sadly, according to Dann Spader in Disciple Making Metrics: How to Measure Your Effectiveness at Developing Disciple-Makers, the average congregation in the U.S. is witnessing only two to three conversions for every 100 believers a year. And around 50 percent of churches in the U.S are not witnessing any converts in their congregation each year. 2. How many people in the congregation are involved in a ministry of the church or ministry to the community? These are the people who are following Jesus—they are serving the Lord in the local church or serving the Lord through a parachurch ministry. 3. Who are the people leading others to follow Jesus? These are the folks who are constantly inviting friends to attend a church service or event. They are baptizing people because they have played an important role in the development of that person’s faith. Like the apostle Paul, these people are encouraging others to follow their example as they follow the example of Christ. 4. Who in the congregation are witnessing the one they led to faith now leading others to follow Jesus? These are the people who are part of a cycle of disciplemaking. Discover how many in your congregation are in all four of these metrics and you’ll begin to understand how your congregation is living out the commission of Jesus. I was once led to believe that church health was found in the three vital signs that were presented earlier. Those vital signs are important, but they’re not as important as knowing if your congregation is making disciples. This is the metric that matters most right now: Is the church making disciples who make disciples? Well, are you?  Matt Merold serves as lead pastor of Bethany Christian Church, with campuses in Washington and Vincennes, Indiana.

Measure the Metric that Matters Most

HEALTHY CHURCHES

THE HEALTHY CHURCH

Built on Trustworthy Leaders Built on Trustworthy Leaders By Ken Idleman

By Ken Idleman

She concluded that the masses don’t change simply because they desire to change or by getting more information. Virtually everyone who smokes knows smoking is bad for their health and wants to quit. But many continue to smoke anyway. So, how are folks persuaded to act in their own longterm self-interest . . . to not initiate that divorce without cause, to break free of an addiction, to stop gambling, overspending, or sleeping around? Again, lectures typically are ineffective in changing people’s behavior. Nor do most people change by being made to feel guilty. Nor do people change simply by getting more facts about what they already know. Rosenberg argues that people change best in community. Few things in life are more important in determining the kind of people we become than the group we hang out with—the group with which we regularly associate. The behaviors of that group determine what is appropriate or cool or desirable in our personal value system. Whether we are talking about losing weight, breaking a bad habit, achieving an education or excelling in job performance . . . social support and peer pressure have been discovered to be the quickest and best way that people change. This is precisely why psychiatrists, psychologists, and counselors consistently develop and recommend support groups like Weight Watchers or Alcoholics Anonymous —groups for everything from grief recovery to posttraumatic stress disorder. I heartily agree with Rosenberg’s axiom with this one vital addition: Our Creator God is the inventor of world change by peer pressure. He is the originator of life transformation and personal growth through Christ and Christian community, the church. The church is God’s idea, plan, and strategy to disciple every person on earth to initially follow Jesus, consistently be changed by Jesus, and perpetually be on mission with Jesus. Few false beliefs have derailed more lives than this one: “I don’t need church!” More and more people in America

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In 2011, New York Times best-selling author Tina Rosenberg published Join the Club: How Peer Pressure Can Transform the World. The question she addressed in her secular book was, How do you get people to change for the better? How do you get them to live healthier lives . . . to diet, exercise, and not drink excessively? In short, how do you get individuals to grow in a positive direction?

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today say they believe in the basic doctrines of Christianity —that Jesus died on the cross for their sins, is the only Savior, and rose from the dead. They believe God created the universe. Many believe Christ will return to earth one day. But they also say, “Even though I believe, I do not belong to any church. And I really don’t see why I should be part of a church.” Christians have failed to impress on saved and unsaved people alike that the church is indispensable. You cannot say yes to Jesus and no to his church. Consequently, for the church to accomplish God’s purpose in this world, we must commit to a renewed focus on being healthy and becoming healthy. The indicators of church health are revealed in the book of Acts and in the Epistles. The New Testament church had several dynamic elements: authoritative preaching, authentic worship, sacrificial stewardship, compassionate service, passionate prayer, tireless evangelism, and unpretentious and all-inclusive love. But trustworthy leaders are the most foundational and indispensable component of a healthy church. Jesus is the cornerstone of the healthy church (Acts 4:11; Ephesians 2:20), and trustworthy leaders are the foundation of any church built on and around him from the Day of Pentecost forward. Trustworthy elders and ministry leaders—vocational and volunteer—provide the shepherding that will ensure church health and growth in every generation. After all, healthy things grow. In Acts 1–8, Luke, the book’s writer, did two things. First, he described the birth of the church on the Day of Pentecost. Second, he exposed the strategy of the evil one, who sought to snuff out the life of the infant church. In Acts 1 and 2, we see the activity of the Holy Spirit. By contrast, in Acts 3–8, we see the activity of the unholy spirit, Satan. In these chapters, the threefold strategy of Satan to destroy the first-century church is evident. All three of his assaults were focused on the church’s leadership. Why? Because to discourage, discredit, or distract the leaders would undermine the church’s health and arrest its growth. And over the past 2,000 years, Satan has not changed his tactics. He knows the best shortcut to inflicting the most damage to the church on earth is to target the leaders and influencers. The three battlefronts for 21st-century churches are the same as for the first-century Jerusalem church: persecution, corruption, and division. And leaders remain the target. But trustworthy leaders can meet these timeless assaults!

Persecution The enemy tried to discourage the church by force and physical violence. In Acts 4, Peter and John were arrested, jailed, and warned not to speak further about Jesus. Upon their release, they went right back to preaching, teaching, and performing miracles. Then, in Acts 5, these same apostles were arrested again. This time they were severely beaten and ordered not to preach in the name of Jesus. But the persecution was ineffective; it did not hinder the gospel or destroy the infant church. “Day after day, in the temple and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Messiah” (Acts 5:42). In Acts 7, Stephen became the first church leader to be martyred for preaching Christ. But Acts 11:19-21 declares, “Now those who had been scattered by the persecution that broke out when Stephen was killed traveled . . . telling them the good news about the Lord Jesus . . . and a great number of people believed and turned to the Lord.” The faithfulness of trustworthy leaders will always overcome persecution! Corruption Having failed to destroy the church from the outside, Satan tried to discredit her from the inside through the deceit of Ananias and Sapphira. This couple sold some property and claimed they gave all the money from the sale to the church. In fact, they lied to the Holy Spirit. They held back some of the proceeds. And the divine death sentence imposed on this couple impressed on the church the seriousness of their stewardship sin. “Nevertheless, more and more men and women believed in the Lord and were added to their number” (Acts 5:14). Since the early 1980s the trustworthiness of professed Christian leaders has taken hit after hit. Satan has scored big by bringing down many leaders who have fallen prey to the lure of fame, power, money, and sex. The media loves to expose those who posture themselves as virtuous, when in reality, they are duplicitous. As trustworthy leaders, what should we do? It’s simple, but not easy. We must walk in the truth. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Tell the truth. In short, live a life of integrity. It’s what we see in Peter, John, Philip, Barnabas, Lydia, Dorcas, Timothy, Silas, and Paul in the book of Acts. So, let’s imitate the faith of those who literally laid down their lives for the truth that is in Jesus. The integrity of trustworthy leaders will always overcome corruption!

"The church is God’s idea, plan, and strategy to disciple every person on earth to initially follow Jesus, consistently be changed by Jesus, and perpetually be on mission with Jesus. ”

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Division Satan’s third attack was more subtle. He created dissension in the church to try and distract the apostles from their priority tasks of preaching and prayer. The number of disciples was exponentially increasing, and the pastoral load became unmanageable. Soon, racial tension surfaced. The Grecian Jews complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. The apostolic leaders knew they had to maintain their ministry focus on the Word of God and prayer, so they wisely decided, “Brothers and sisters, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility [for the needy widows] over to them. . . . This proposal pleased the whole group. . . . So the Word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly” (Acts 6:3, 5, 7). If Satan had succeeded, and the apostles had given up the priorities of preaching and prayer, it would have resulted in an untaught and unspiritual church. False doctrine would have surely gained a foothold and worldliness would have developed over time. It’s happening today in mainline denominational churches. Many are in decline and others are dividing over issues related to politics, race, vaccines, and masks. Church leaders who pray in faith for God’s wisdom will find he is faithful to give it. Scripture says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:5). This spiritual gift must be elevated in the life of the contemporary church. It is the byproduct of a strong prayer life. The wisdom of trustworthy leaders will always overcome division! God will bless the church with health and growth, whether in the first century or the 21st century, despite persecution, corruption, and division, because of the faithfulness, integrity, and wisdom of her leaders. Any church will be united and strong, healthy and growing if it is blessed to have a growing base of trustworthy spiritual leaders. 

Ken Idleman is in his seventh year as vice president of leadership development for The Solomon Foundation, mentoring and consulting to assist churches in getting to the next level. He previously served for three decades as president of Ozark Christian College in Joplin, Missouri, and a decade as senior pastor of Crossroads Christian Church, Newburgh, Indiana.

HEALTHY

MOVEMENT

HEALTHY MOVEMENT HEALTHY MOVEMENT How Can We Move from Indepen-

dence to Connection?

How Can We Move from Independence to Connection? By Chris DeWelt

By Chris DeWelt

“O would some power the giftie gie us to see ourselves as others see us!” —Robert Burns (“To a Louse”)

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Many years ago, Carol and I were learning Spanish while temporarily living in Costa Rica and attending a school that specializes in helping missionaries prepare linguistically for life in Latin America. Not long after we arrived, the school’s director invited us to his office to get to know us. “So what agency are you with?” was his first question. “We are direct-support missionaries,” I happily replied. His face turned quizzical, and then he asked, “What church are you with?” When I said, “Christian churches and churches of Christ,” he tilted his head slightly and asked, “you’re not with the church on the edge of town that says they are the only ones going to Heaven, are you?” “Uhh . . . no, well, not exactly, but sort of . . .” was my labored response. I went on to explain to him that we were part of an indigenous American church movement known as Christian churches (but not Disciples of Christ) and churches of Christ (but not the noninstrumental folks, although we like them, well, most of the time).

Then came the slogans (which I continue to use, by the way). “We believe that we are not the only Christians, but that we are Christians only!” More quizzical looks. When he said he came from a Presbyterian background, I smiled and said, “So do we!” (It was not in vain that I had studied Restoration Movement history!) Still more quizzical looks. I was young, did I mention that? I was 24 and it was, ironically, 1976, a big year for celebrating independence. Actually, my interactions with Dr. Coble, the school’s director, and with the many students who were headed to the field, were quite enjoyable as we discussed theology, church polity, and a mutual heart to see the gospel preached in Latin American cities. Everyone did care about those things. Although there were some sizable differences, we clearly perceived a common enemy and a beloved Savior. It brought us together.

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Healthy Connection Depends on Interdependence

The history of our fellowship goes back to a 19th- and 20th-century desire for independence. Specifically, this has meant freedom to determine what is best for a particular congregation in a particular setting under the leadership of local elders. Here in America, we all swim in the water of independence. That water comes from the spring that birthed our nation and enormously influenced not only our culture but all of history (and it will continue to do so). Independence is not a problem in and of itself. It is right and good to stand on your own feet. To “set out” on your own is a sign that you have moved onward from dependency to the stage of life where you become a source of blessing rather than always being the one in need. However, while independence is good, it is not the goal. In fact, I would argue that radical independence is something of a myth, but my point here is that health is found in the third (and final) stage of development, true interdependence. It is from this location that connection becomes possible. The idea of moving from dependence to independence to interdependence is not a new concept. I remember Stephen Covey writing on this subject years ago in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People; I also remember teaching similar principles to my intercultural studies students concerning the “three-self” church as stated by Roland Allen in his book, Missionary Methods: St. Paul’s or Ours? Paul exhorted the Galatians to “bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2, New American Standard Bible, 1977). What greater burden is there than reaching the lost and encouraging the saved? Jesus literally prayed for our unity for the purpose of the world knowing that the Father had sent him (John 17:21).

Health produces creativity.

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Healthy Connection Is Affected by

How We View Ourselves and Others In 1995, Sam Stone (then the editor of Christian Standard) and I surveyed ministers of Christian churches and churches of Christ regarding how they viewed their own movement. Survey results showed that, at the time, our movement was healthier than many had thought. One of the qualitative questions in the survey pertained to the leaders’ views of others that bore the name Christian but were not part of our movement. In other words, how did they see the rest of the Christian world? The answers reflected a wide range of opinions, as you might imagine. We observed an identifiable point of tension among those answering the question. Several respondents began to answer but then would cut off their response by simply observing, in effect, that those things were up to God. Others refused to answer. I found the responses to be fascinating. The fact is, our movement has struggled with how to look at others around us who also bear the name Christian. The comments of the leaders we polled were especially revealing of the anxiety many felt in approaching this issue. It may be easier to leave the judging to God, but, at some point, one forms a viewpoint that directly affects connection. One can have points of distinction and still connect with others. In fact, that is the only way we can connect, for there will always be points of distinction. The issue should then be, What can I work with? The context of the mission field is often where that connection begins to mean something more than, “Yeah, we should do something about that. . . .” I would contend that until we see ourselves in a missional context, we will do little about connecting, mostly because we don’t have to. Sadly, our subtext is often, “We can function just fine on our own.”

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Healthy Connection Requires Reaching Across the Aisle

If we are to be healthy, connection will happen on many levels. Here are a couple of connecting points, along with some ideas for implementation. 1. Connecting with our own sister congregations. Do you work together with other Restoration background churches in your area on anything at all? If you do, then you are unusual. Don’t wait for your phone to buzz. Make the call! You know who they are and where they are. Don’t say you tried this once and it did not work. We all must do better than that. Here are three ideas for what to say. • Propose a joint meal. Eating together is the simplest way to build healthy community. I used to joke with the people at the little church where I preached for several years that they should sing, “God be with you till we eat again!” If you need a simple starting point, try food. • Propose joint times of prayer. I never feel like I know someone until I hear them pray. If you are an elder, tell your brothers you would like to reach out to a sister congregation to get all the elders together to pray. Pray for your city. Pray for the lost people all of you see every day. Pray for wisdom. Pray for the staff and congregations of both churches. Pray for each other. Pray for other churches in your city. Or just sit quietly before the Lord and see what happens. You get the idea. Pray. • Forgive one another. This is perhaps the healthiest thing a church could ever do. What a shock for the leaders of one church to ask the leaders of another church to forgive them. This is good—and unusual— for many reasons. If you need prodding on where forgiveness is needed, ask the Lord and see what happens. It always works for me on a personal level. 2. Connecting with “other” churches in your community. Healthy connections are seen in the ways we can serve rather than in the ways we are being served (Mark 10:45). Several ideas in the previous point could easily be applied here. If you are worried about doctrinal issues, what better way to discuss them than in the

context of bringing healing to your city? Or, even better, in the context of praying together for one another? • Propose the idea of jointly addressing a known community need. A community’s needs are clear avenues for the love of Christ to be made known. A good starting point is to visit with city leadership. They are usually overworked and understaffed, and most of them care deeply about the brokenness they see. After they recover from the shock of being asked if we can help, most city leaders will have thoughtful ideas. I have seen this happen in an important way in my own community. It can happen in yours. The world is waiting. • Look around for the “nations that are among you.” This will likely get practical very quickly. We know the Lord cares about the nations, and we know they are here, right now, in virtually every town and village. I believe the Lord has sent them to us. We have seen tremendous community and church connections in our little city to work with refugees and immigrants who are here now. (Email me at cdewelt@ occ.edu if you need help in this area.) • Speak with one voice against injustice. “The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed” (Psalm 103:6). Guess how he does that. Choosing this path brings with it significant implications, messiness, and undeniable controversy. It is far easier to ignore this subject. But have you noticed that it is precisely that approach that has alienated many young people who have come to believe the church cares only about itself? If you disagree with me, then I challenge you to ask the young adults you know what they think about the relevance of the church. I do not have easy answers, but I invite you to engage. Health produces creativity. The ideas I’ve presented have helped me in breaking my own tendencies toward apathy and isolation. May we always be a movement that, knowing itself well, connects with those who seek after the heart of our Savior. 

Chris DeWelt served as director of intercultural studies at Ozark Christian College, Joplin, Missouri, from 1999 to 2021. He has traveled in over 90 countries representing various mission ministries. He currently serves as president of College Press Publishing Company.

HEALTHY MOVEMENT Can Our Churches Continue to Grow and Bear Fruit? MOVEMENT By MattHEALTHY Proctor

Can Our Churches Continue to Grow and Bear Fruit? By Matt Proctor

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The movie Apollo 13 tells the true story of astronauts James Lovell, Fred Haise, and John L. “Jack” Swigert. On their way to the moon in April 1970, an explosion left them in a crippled spacecraft 200,000 miles from Earth—low on power, losing cabin heat, flight trajectories off. “Houston, we have a problem.” As John Ortberg relates the story in Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them, suddenly, these three astronauts needed a community of NASA scientists to save them, and these scientists were not your normal movie heroes—no chiseled good looks or superpowers. They were engineers—full-on nerds with glasses and pocket protectors and limited social skills. (The engineering school my nephew attended had a guy-to-girl ratio of 7-to-1, so the girls had a saying: “The odds are good . . . but the goods are odd.”) Unlikely heroes indeed. Then, as now, NASA engineers like their world in perfect order, but suddenly, 50-plus years ago, their tightly scripted moon mission was in chaos. Nothing was going according to plan. They were grasping for solutions, arguing among themselves. Things did not look good. Flight director Gene Kranz took control. In the movie, soon after the explosion, Kranz (played by actor Ed Harris) overhears an engineer say to his superiors, “This will be the worst disaster in the history of NASA.” Kranz visibly straightens, squares his shoulders, and replies with a steel-edge, “With all due respect, sir, I believe this will be our finest hour.” Kranz rallied his team to work together, solving one seemingly impossible task after another. With each

success, a new challenge arose, and frustration mounted. But Kranz’s words kept pushing them: “Failure is not an option.” Finally came the real test—no one was certain the space capsule could withstand the heat of reentering the earth’s atmosphere. The suspense heightened when, during reentry, the crew of Apollo 13 was out of radio contact for four minutes. Life and death were on the line. The world held its collective breath. Finally, out of the silence, through the static, a voice was heard: “This is Apollo.” The astronauts were safe. The movie showed people at NASA jumping up and down. Normally unexpressive engineers started dancing, embracing, and pounding each other on the back. Then, amid the pandemonium, the camera panned back to Gene Kranz. He was simply standing there, with emotion too deep for words. And the viewer realizes suddenly that Kranz’s whole life—his work as a scientist, his dreams and labor, his every thought—led up to this one remarkable moment. He could live many more years, grow to be an old man, and do many things, but this was his finest hour. NASA had lots of smart people, but without Gene Kranz, who knows if those astronauts would have made it home. It took a leader to focus the team. When leadership is strong, an organization flourishes. When leadership is weak, an organization falters. As John Maxwell has said, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.”

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The Danger We Face What will keep our movement healthy? You probably know the Restoration Movement in early 19th-century America called Christians to leave behind denominational sectarianism (à la Barton Stone), unite under biblical authority (à la Alexander Campbell), and together fulfill the Great Commission (à la Walter Scott). Those three emphases—Christian unity under biblical authority for evangelistic mission—attracted many believers, and the movement grew rapidly. Ironically, this unity movement eventually split into three fellowships, each focusing on one of the three original emphases: the Disciples of Christ (Christian Church) on Christian unity, the a cappella Churches of Christ on biblical authority, and the independent Christian Churches and Churches of Christ on evangelistic mission. So, these days, how is the health of our independent churches? My personal observation: Our individual congregations are flourishing, but many of the unifying institutions from the past have changed or are now compromised or gone: • Our annual big family gathering, the North American Christian Convention, is no more. • Our flagship periodical, Christian Standard, has dropped in print circulation from 50,000 to 8,000 over the last 20 years and is now developing more online content. (The Lookout has ceased print publication and has become a fully online resource.)

• News of struggling colleges has become a steady drumbeat: Crossroads (formerly Minnesota Bible College), Cincinnati, Nebraska, and St. Louis are gone. • Our largest producer of curriculum, Standard Publishing, was acquired by David C Cook. • I’ve preached at state Christian conventions in Iowa, Minnesota, and Arkansas, but those are all now dead. (I’m choosing to believe it wasn’t me.) While some of these changes can be attributed to societal shifts and the changing needs of people over time, we’re still left with fewer or changing opportunities for cross-congregational fellowship and partnership within our movement. To be clear: I am bullish on our fellowship’s future. We continue to plant churches, pursue global evangelism, and support strategic parachurch ministries, and our list of megachurches keeps growing longer. (A sharp young noninstrumental preacher recently told me he admired our fellowship’s entrepreneurial efforts to reach the lost. He said, “We have large liberal arts colleges and small churches, while you all have small Bible colleges and large churches. I would trade with you all in a heartbeat.”) Our evangelistic effectiveness has garnered broad notice, and our simple doctrinal distinctives are now embraced by many outside our heritage. In many ways, the “movement” worked, and it’s still working.

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But I do think a danger lurks. My friend Rick Rusaw summarizes it well: “Our churches have never been healthier, but our identity has never been more at risk.” We live in a post-denominational world (a good thing) where churches aren’t chosen out of “brand loyalty.” In the independent Christian churches, we also live in a moment when our unifying institutions are in flux, in decline, or in the grave. Which means, simply put, we are at risk of losing our fellowship. Call it a movement, brotherhood, network, or a tribe. Whatever you call it, we risk losing the historical relationship bond among our independent Christian churches—with their secret recipe of Christian unity under biblical authority for evangelistic mission—that has produced so much kingdom fruit. Congregations once connected to our fellowship (megachurches?) may drift away into the larger evangelical sea, becoming generically nondenominational. Other congregations may stay connected to movements-within-the-movement (e.g., local Christian camps, Christian Church Facebook groups) but disconnect from the larger fellowship. Either way, given the good we’ve accomplished together, that’s a loss. The question matters: What will keep our movement healthy? My answer: Everything rises and falls on leadership.

The question matters: What will keep our movement healthy?

My answer: Everything rises and falls on leadership.

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The Leaders We Need God’s kingdom strategies have always started with leaders. Just look to Scripture. God chose Abraham to begin his people, Joseph to preserve his people, Moses to rescue his people, judges to guide his people, David to establish his people, prophets to correct his people, apostles to expand his people, and pastors to teach his people. Healthy leaders make a healthy movement. Specifically, leaders committed to Christian unity under biblical authority for evangelistic mission. Leaders Committed to Biblical Authority keep us from doctrinal compromise. When cultural tempests buffet, believers are tempted to bend on biblical truth, “blown here and there by every wind of teaching” (Ephesians 4:14). We need leaders with Scripture coursing through their veins to teach it boldly, stiffen our spines, and keep us faithful to God’s Word. As I look around our fellowship, I am grateful for a great host of such leaders, champions of biblical truth. But a question to wrestle with: Where will the next generation of leaders find this deep biblical grounding? So many potential next-generation leaders have been discipled by social media, the public education system, and even the modern workplace to think in unbiblical ways. For our movement to stay healthy, we must develop leaders—in our youth ministries, colleges, church internships/residencies, elder-training programs—whose minds are so thoroughly drenched in Scripture that they even dream biblically.

Leaders Committed to Evangelistic Mission keep us from mission drift. The church is both salt and light. In a decaying world, salt preserves goodness, so the church’s mercy ministry feeds the hungry, houses the homeless, and rescues trafficking victims. In a dark world, light illuminates truth, so the church’s evangelistic ministry points people to Jesus. As salt, we keep the world from sliding into a kind of hell; as light, we call the world into Heaven. It’s both/and, not either/or, and I am grateful for our fellowship’s leaders whose churches have embodied the gospel without forgetting to proclaim the gospel. But a question to wrestle with: Who will remind our next-generation leaders of evangelism’s primacy? Younger evangelicals are sometimes tempted to major in the church’s mercy/justice mission and minor in the church’s evangelistic mission—to lean into expressing Christ’s love and drift from expressing Christ’s truth. Preacher Clovis Chappell said, “Ministry is a word of many syllables, and it matters where you put the accent.” For our movement to stay healthy, we must develop leaders who accent making “disciples of all nations, baptizing them . . . and teaching them” (Matthew 28:19-20).

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Leaders Committed to Christian Unity keep us from congregational disconnection, which might be the greatest danger our fellowship faces at this moment. Like LEGO bricks, churches are made to connect with one another. New Testament churches that associate with others in their geographical region (2 Corinthians 1:1; Galatians 1:2) share Bible teachers and resources (Acts 8:14; Colossians 4:16), combine offerings for benevolence (Romans 15:26; 1 Corinthians 16:1), jointly discuss doctrinal and evangelistic issues (Acts 15:1-35), and cooperate in missionary efforts (Galatians 2:1-10; Acts 20:1-6). There’s no denominational hierarchy, but there is kingdom collaboration. At our best, the independent Christian churches have also been interdependent. Team Expansion, Stadia, CIY, Christian camps, Bible colleges, Good News Productions International, The Solomon Foundation, campus ministries, Rapha House, Pioneer Bible Translators, IDES—how did all these happen in a group with no denominational structure? A leader saw a need. In our independent fellowship, that leader had the freedom to act, and in our interdependent fellowship, that leader had the relationships to tap. Someone knew someone else who knew someone else who knew someone else, they all called each other, and they gathered like-minded churches around a common kingdom work. Together, ministry flourished.

A question to wrestle with: With the loss of some unifying institutions, how do we keep those relational networks strong into the next generation? Kingdom synergy multiplies efforts beyond the sum of individual contributions. (Instead of 3+3=6, it’s 3x3=9.) Like the engineers in Apollo 13, our churches are an unlikely group of heroes, but if we work together, amazing things happen. Like those men at Mission Control, we’ve been given a lifesaving mission, and the stakes are higher than NASA ever faced. If we falter, millions of people perish.

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Failure is not an option. Everything rises and falls on leadership. To keep our movement healthy, we must develop leaders committed to Christian unity under biblical authority for evangelistic mission. When every church in our fellowship has a Gene Kranz to step in and help us work together, we will bring people safely Home. It will be our finest hour. 

Matt Proctor serves as president of Ozark Christian College in Joplin, Missouri.