An
Obssessive-
Compulsive’s Prayer D
e
Before
a
t
h
Oh dear, dear, heavenly deity all my life, my short and unfulfilled life, I have never thought that this would be the way I die!
I have
so
,
so, much left to do;
I left the kitchen with stains and the stench of day old Cif. I should’ve wiped my desk more thoroughly, I can picture my fingerprints on the glass surface.
Urrgghh! No! The windowsill!
The window with my
c a r e f u l l y
arranged
buttons, I was ab out to wipe the d u s t when thi s
tragedy happened.
a
w
a
y
When did I become so sloth-like? So idle in my routine? And
on
this
day!
T o d a y
of
all
of
3 6 5 d a y s
Oh please,
I pray that when they find me they don’t ruffle my hair and crinkle my clothes.
I hope they remove their dirty boots and place them
n
e a t l y
on my shoe rack.
I
tried
so hard to make the
good
outweigh the
bad!
I pray that after I am dead and buried my parents take care of my button collection.
I pray that they are c a r e f u l
in keeping the drawers in o r d e r
and the labels c l e a n
Thank
God
no-one knows the key to my safe! Not a single soul on this
un
organised
planet will be able to ruin my p r i s t i n e scissors and combs and clips.
Oh! But what a shame it is to know that no one else will have their hair cut by my masterful hand.
To think,
the last time my precious tools were used was only a week ago.
A week.
So short
yet so many hours
wasted.
How many weeks will it take for my friends to forget me? Would they be sad that I am gone? Will there be anyone at my funeral?
I pray
that at my funeral there should be iced tea.
Only iced tea to be served. But
what if it’s not cold enough? What if they don’t like ice tea? What if they run out?
Oh dear God, I should be organising this!
Why?
Why?
Why? I pray that they do not spill my precious iced tea. I pray that my hair will be brushed at least a hundred times and my clothes are clean and pressed.
Oh.