One World
Under Beer
Table of
contents I. Introduction
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The (Relatively New) Art of Beer Snobbery
II. Glassware III. Glossary IV. Beers
American Amber Lager, 14
Irish Dry Stout, 16
Scotch Ale (Wee Heavy), 18
Belgian Abbey Dubble, 20
Japanese Happoshu, 22
Czechoslovakian Pilsener, 24
English Porter, 26
French Biere de Garde, 28
German Dunkelweisen, 30
V. Recipes
Mocha Mascarpone Mousse Cups, 34
Poached Pears with Dulce de Leche, 36
Chocolate Chip Shortbread, 38
Chocolate Bread Pudding, 40
Barbecued Beef, 42
8 10 13
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The (Relatively New) Art of
Beer Snobbery While wine snobs have blighted the earth for thousands of years (you can bet there was at least one guy curling his lip at the vintage of Jesus’ first miracle), beer snobbery is a relatively young art. This is because every beer in the country once tasted exactly the same. Oh sure, there were Bud lovers and MGD aficionados who would swear they could tell the difference, but if you gave them a blind taste test, you’d soon discover they’d just keep asking for another “test taste” until there wasn’t any beer left and they were passed out on your sofa. Then the microbrewery revolution swept the country. Soon every abandoned firehouse, bank and shoe factory was outfitted with a vat, turning out every form and flavor of beer you could imagine and some you’d rather not. It was perfectly natural then, with so many different beers to choose from, that a learned cadre of beer experts would appear to explain to the unsophisticated masses what is “good beer” and what “has the nose and character of a harbor-town harlot with a penchant for walking into walls caked with manure.” Thus arrived the beer snob.
Beer Vs. Wine Snobbery : The Advantages Beer snobbery is less dangerous. While wine snobs have been around long enough to be nearly universally despised and even hunted for sport in certain parts of the South, beer snobs are
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so new they’re considered by the general public to be as harmless as those people who carve elaborate sculptures out of Spam—someone to be viewed more with bemusement than with the scope of a highpowered rifle.
The dress is casual. Wine snobs have a strict dress code involving black turtlenecks, silk scarves, and tiny spectacles that sit on the end of their noses. A beer snob, on the other hand, can pretty much wear whatever he likes. Aside from the snooty expression, a typical beer snob is just about indistinguishable from your least favorite brother-in-law.
It doesn’t require a sensitive palate. In fact, a too-sensitive palate just gets in the way. If a beer snob’s mind is busy trying to decipher a vast array of signals from his tongue, it becomes very difficult for him to think up a clever way to insult a fellow beer snob’s tie.
You don’t have to learn a foreign language. While a wine snob is expected to speak enough French to enrage a Frenchman, the beer snob only needs to speak enough English to infuriate an Englishman, which only requires slurring, “Hey you ‘member when we saved your butts from the Germans back in Dubya Dubya Two? ‘Member?”
The terminology is pretty simple. For example, the guy who pours the beer is a bartender and not some snooty guy whose title looks suspiciously similar to smellier but is actually pronounced like the cry of a gardener pleasantly surprised while trying to explain the holes in your lawn: “Some mole—yay!” (cont’d next page)
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Beer Snobbery (cont’d) The Three Prime Rules of Judging a Beer 1) Use the proper terminology. Thirty years ago the only terms you needed to express a beer’s character were “tastes great” and “less filling.” The microbrew explosion, however, made it necessary to invent literally hundreds of new adjectives to explain how great or non-filling a beer truly is. Fortunately, you won’t have to memorize most of them because most are fake words that drunk beer experts made up on the spot and probably winced at when they saw them in print later. In fact, the only terms you really need to know are nutty, worty, fruity, grainy, mouthy, sulpheristical, pine-needley, and bodacious. What do they mean? No one knows for sure. The important thing it to use as many of them as possible when you rate a beer. 2) Employ all of your senses. If you taste a beer and think, “Gee, that tastes good,” do not say so. Just because a beer tastes good does not mean it is good. You must bring into play your other four senses to make a proper judgement. Sight: Look at the beer’s label. If you can see little gold medals, describe the beer as “a shining avatar lesser beers aspire to.” Do you see foreign words? If they look European, call the beer a “traditional, old-country stalwart.” If the words look like the symbols used in the funny pages in place of curse words, label the beer “an exotic wayfarer with delightful stories to tell.” Sound: Have you heard anyone else talking about the beer? If you have, try to cover your bases by incorporating as many of these opinions into your judgement as possible: “Yes, it’s the one in the green bottle, but on the other hand, it goes for six bucks a
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sixer at the Liquorama up on Fifth Street, right across the street from the Conoco Station with the hot chick working the register.” Feel: Do you feel the brewery rep standing nearby will reward a good rating with free stuff? If so, upgrade your evaluation according to how much free stuff you think you might get. Thus, a merely decent beer may become “a mind-boggling triumph,” a bad one transforms into “a powerful new statement” and something that could pass as window cleaner ascends to “a real up and comer.” Smell: Does the beer smell foreign, or, in beer expert parlance, skunky? Foreigness is a good thing because foreign countries are farther away and the farther away a brewery is the better the beer tastes. 3) When in doubt, speak in tongues. If you are unsure about the quality of a beer because you can’t see the label and are not sure if the rep is going to give you free stuff, you have to deliver an opinion so obtuse onlookers won’t know if you’re complimenting the beer or plan on using it to poison the rats in your cellar. Instead of saying, “I guess it’s okay,” you say: “Seems its pompitude has been demastered in a congenial way, yet its essence disambiguates the fustification of its mischarateristics to the degree I wonder about the referentialability of the primal dewortnicity.” It’s hard to disagree with a man you can’t understand, though they might try. If a competing beer snob tries to draw you out from behind your brilliant smokescreen by saying, “Hate to disagree, but I think the dewortitude terrifically interpolative and fusticating with character,” glower for an instant and say stiffly, “Funny, I could swear I just said that.” —excepted from an article by Frank Kelly Rich
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SERVING Like fine wine, the distinctive characteristics of each variety of beer are shown off to their best advantage when coddled in the loving embrace of just the right mug, glass, or stein. Unlike wine, however, if you don’t have the proper glass—or any glass at all—you can drink your beer from any available receptacle and still face your friends in the morning with far fewer dirty looks.
glassware 7
The Craft Beer
Glassware guide
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Imperial or Shaker Pint
Wiessen
Near cylindrical, with a slight taper and wide mouth. There are two standard sizes, the 16-oz Shaker and the 20-ounce Imperial, which has a slight ridge towards the top.
Long with thin walls. Captures head and locks in banana-like and phenol aromas.
Mug or Stein
Stange
Thistle
Heavy, large and with a handle. Easy to drink from and holds plenty of volume.
Tall, slender cylinders used for delicate beers to amplify hop and malt nuance.
Scotch Ales are often served in this modified tulip glass.
For those of us too cool to drink from a can or bottle—and, let’s face it, you’re one of them—the right beer requires the right glass for maximum enjoyment. Fortunately, most of these can be swiped–er, purchased fairly easily from your favorite beer spot.
Pilsener
Goblet or Chalice
Tall and tapered to show color, clarity and carbonation, and enhance aromas.
May be delicate and long stemmed or heavy and thick walled. Many have nucleation sites (etchings) on the bottom which produce bubbles and maintain a frothy head.
Tulip
Snifter
Flute
Bulbous, tulipshaped body with a lip that pushes out to capture the head.
Wide-bowled and stemmed with tapered mouth. Perfect for strong ales.
Long, narrow body ensures carbonation doesn’t dissipate too quickly.
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Glossary of
Beer Terms When you were a teenager you probably thought all beers were just called “beer” or maybe “brewski” if you were feeling technical. But as a beer snob you should be aware there are many subcategories of beers, in the same way that certain dogs are called “Cocker Spaniels” and “Rat Terriers,” and some large rats are called “Chihuahuas.”
Ale Some purists will tell you this English brew is not really beer at all, but these are the same type of people who will tell you that drinking a case of beer in the company of your dog is not a “kick-ass time.”
Bitter This hoppy English stalwart is a favorite among elderly men who smoke pipes, carry change purses and will insist that Field Marshal Rommel was “indeed crafty as a fox, but no match for this cunning English bulldog.”
Bock This German beer is named for the billy goat, because, just like a billy goat, it’s lively, strong and smells like a billy goat.
Doppelbock German for double billy goat. You get the idea.
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Export This is a type of beer so awful the locals refuse to drink it, so the brewery ships it off to foreigners who don’t know any better.
Fruit These flavored beers were introduced to appeal to women and certain men who get very defensive when you inform them they are plainly homosexual.
Lager There are those who like to say this light, golden beer is served cold so as to distinguish it from urine, but the truth of the matter is urine also has a much better head.
Porter This strong beer was named for the rugged laborers who made it popular in Old England and would quite frankly drink billy goat sweat if it got them drunk.
Stout These dark, rich beers are called such because after drinking a dozen of them you will feel stout enough to wrestle all four of the cops by yourself.
Trappist This type of ale is brewed by monks noted for their skill at trapping tourists in their monastery’s overpriced gift shops. They changed their name from trapper to trappist in 1816 when they realized they spoke French and thus needed a fancier title. —Modern Drunkard Magazine
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A world of beer Let’s face it, snobbery and glassware aside, at the end of a long, hot day, we’re all in it for the beer. These next few pages will whet your appetite for new brews and rekindle your love for old favorites. So hand over your keys, grab your stein, and dive in.
TASTING 13
American
Amber Lager 4.0-6.0 %ABV
The All-American Amber usually has a fair amount of a caramelly maltiness. It may be lightly to moderately hopped, usually with American hop varieties. Bitterness is generally low.
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SERVING TASTING PAIRING Temperature: 40–45°F
Glass: Pint, pilsener or mug
August Schell Hopfenmalz
Lakefront Riverwest Stein Beer Capital Winter Skäl
Cheese: Port Salut or other sharp, tangy cheese. Entree: Almost anything; chicken, seafood, burgers.
WITH FOODS Dessert: Poached pears with dulce de leche (38), banana cake, almond lace cookies.
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Irish
Dry Stout 4.0-6.0 %ABV
Irish Dry Stout tends to have a lightish body and lower carbonation than other stouts. Bitterness comes from both roasted barley and a generous dose of hops, although the roasted character will usually be more noticeable.
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SERVING TASTING PAIRING Temperature: 40–50°F
Glass: Pint glass or mug
Three Floyds Black Sun Stout
Beamish & Crawford Irish Stout Gritty McDuff Black Fly Stout
Cheese: Irish cheese like Dubliner or aged cheddar. Entree: Hearty, rich food; steak, meat pie, raw oysters.
WITH FOODS Dessert: Chocolate souffle, tiramisu, mocha mascarpone mousse cups (36).
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Scotch
Ale (Wee heavy) 6.5-10
%ABV Scotch Ale (also known as Wee Heavy) is a deep copper to brown, sweeter, fullerbodied and higher in alcohol content than its peers. It has a pronounced roasted, malty caramel flavor and sometimes a low, tea-like bitterness.
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SERVING TASTING PAIRING Temperature: 45–50°F
Glass: Pint, thistle, snifter, tulip
AleSmith Wee Heavy
Silver City’s Fat Scotch Ale Traquair House Ale
Cheese: Buttery cheeses like Brie, Gouda, Havarti or Swiss. Entree: Smoked meat, salmon, roast beef.
WITH FOODS Dessert: Sticky toffee pudding or chocolate chip shortbread (40).
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Belgian
Abbey Dubbel 6.5-9.0
%ABV The Abbey Dubbel is a rich malty beer with some spicy characteristics. It has a mild hop bitterness with no lingering hop flavors. It may show traits of a steely caramel flavor from the use of crystal malt or dark candy sugar.
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SERVING TASTING PAIRING Temperature: 45–50°F
Glass: Goblet or chalice.
Trappist Westvleteren 8 Chimay Premiere Red
Alken-Maes Grimbergen Dubble
Cheese: Red Hawk triple creme or French Morbiere. Entree: Barbecue, meat stews, steak or smoked rib roast.
WITH FOODS Dessert: Perfect with milk chocolate, butter truffles, chocolate bread pudding (42).
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Japanese
Happoshu 4.0-7.0
%ABV Japanese beer companies produce this sparkling low malt beverage. Happoshu classification occurs when an ingredient other than malt, hops, rice, corn, kaoliang, potato, starch, or sugar is used, or if the malt ratio is less than 67%.
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SERVING TASTING PAIRING Temperature: 40–45°F
Glass: Pint glass or pilsener.
Kirin Sparkling Hop Kirin Enjuku
Asahi Honnama Red
Cheese: Mascarpone or herb cheeses.
Entree: Japanese cuisine, sushi, lighter seafood dishes.
WITH FOODS Dessert: Banana orange crepes, sorbet, panna cotta.
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Czech
Pilsener 4.5-5.5 %ABV
A light straw to golden color and crystal clear. Hops are very prevalent, usually with a spicy bitterness or a spicy floral flavor and aroma. Smooth and crisp witha clean malty palate; many are grassy.
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SERVING TASTING PAIRING Temperature: 40–45°F
Glass: Pilsener, mug or stange.
Moonlight Reality Czech
Berkshire Czech Pilsener
Pivovar Klaster Svetly Special Drie Fonteinen Beersel Lager
Cheese: White Vermont cheddar. Entree: Light foods like chicken, salad, salmon or bratwurst.
WITH FOODS Dessert: Lemon shortbread, fresh berries with sabayon.
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English
Porter 4.0-7.0
%ABV English porters are typically brewed using a pale malt base with the addition of black malt, crystal chocolate or smoked brown malt. Hop bitterness is moderate and color ranges from brown to black. Complex and interesting flavors.
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SERVING TASTING PAIRING Temperature: 50–55°F
Glass: Imperial pint or mug.
Fuller’s London Porter
Harviestoun Old Engine Oil Mayflower Porter
Cheese: Cow’s milk cheeses, such as Tilsit or Gruyere. Entree: Roasted or smoked foods, barbecued beef (44), sausages, blackened fish or roasted meats.
WITH FOODS Dessert: Chocolate peanut butter cookies, toasted coconut cookies.
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French
Biere de Garde 6.0-8.0 %ABV
The French-born Biere de Garde has a moderate to medium body and a golden to deep copper color. It is characterized by a toasted malt aroma, slight malt sweetness in flavor and medium hop bitterness.
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SERVING TASTING PAIRING Temperature: 45–50°F
Glass: Tulip or oversized wine glass.
Biere De Mars Grand Reserve Theillier La Bavaisienne Russian River Perdition
Cheese: Nutty cheeses like Asiago, Colby or Parmesan. Entree: Indian or Middle Eastern cuisine, garlic flavors, shellfish, seafood or salad.
WITH FOODS Dessert: Non-chocolate desserts like apricot-amaretto tart or baklava.
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German
dunkelweizen 4.0-7.0
%ABV Dunkelweizen is a darker version of the popular Hefeweizen, with more complex malts and a low balancing bitterness. The usual clove and fuity characters will be present, some may even taste like banana bread.
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SERVING TASTING PAIRING Temperature: 45–50°F Glass: Weizen glass.
Gordon Biersch Dunkelweizen High Point Ramstein Classic
Paulaner Hefe-Weissbier Dunkel
Cheese: Soft-ripened goat or smoked Gouda cheeses.
Entree: Substantial salads, roast chicken or pork, hearty sausage.
WITH FOODS Dessert: Sweet potato tart, peach pecan strudel, banana cream pie.
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Recipes Sometimes beer just tastes best at home in the company of none other than man’s best friend, who talks less than a date and rarely takes a swig of your brew without asking. For those occasions, the following recipes can be whipped up in your own kitchen and paired with your favorite brew for a meal even a wine snob could love. It is recommended, for optimal edibility and minimal danger, to complete the cooking process before sampling the beer. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
PAIRING WITH FOODS
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mocha mascarpone mousse cups
Pair with: Irish Dry Stout
ingredients For the mousse cups: 1 cup (8 oz.) good-quality dark chocolate ½ cup mascarpone 2 tablespoons confectioner’s sugar 4 tablespoons strong espresso coffee, cooled 5 ounces double cream
For the topping: 4 tablespoons double cream a little dark grated chocolate few amaretti biscuits, crushed
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instructions Break the chocolate into small pieces and melt in a heatproof bowl set over a pan of barely simmering water. Stir until smooth, then remove the bowl from the heat and leave to cool. With a hand whisk, beat the mascarpone and icing sugar together until smooth, then whisk in the espresso and the melted chocolate. (Tip: To melt chocolate in a microwave, break into small pieces and tip into a bowl. Microwave on high for a minute, give the pieces a stir, then microwave again for another minute. Stir the chocolate until smooth. This method is only suitable for plain or dark chocolate. White chocolate, in particular, is likely seize as it overheats in the microwave) In another bowl, whip the double cream until soft peak form. Fold the cream into the mocha mixture until well combined. Spoon the mousse into four cappuccino cups or ramekins and chill overnight. Just before serving, lightly whip the 4 tbsp double cream until thick and swirl over of the mousses. Sprinkle the grated chocolate and crushed amaretti on top and serve immediately.
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Poached poached pears with dulce culce de leche Pair with: American Amber
ingredients 4 ripe but firm Anjou or Bartlett pears walnuts or pecans, toasted and coarsely chopped (for garnish)
For the poaching liquid: 1½ cups dry red wine 1½ cups water ¾ cup granulated sugar 1 cinnamon stick a strip of zest from 1 lemon or lime
For the dulce de leche sauce: ½ cup dulce de leche ½ cup light whipping cream 1 tablespoon rum or brandy (optional)
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instructions Prepare the poaching liquid. In a medium saucepan over high heat, bring the red wine, water, sugar, cinnamon stick, and citrus zest to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer for about 5 minutes. While the poaching liquid simmers, prepare the pears. Peel, cut in half lengthwise, and core to remove the seeds. Add the pears to the poaching liquid. Cover and poach the pears for about 10 minutes, until tender but still firm. Transfer the pears to a large platter. Remove all but 1 cup of the liquid from the saucepan (reserve the excess wine and enjoy as a warm beverage). Simmer the remaining wine over medium heat until reduced by half and slightly thickened. Prepare the dulce de leche sauce. Heat the dulce de leche and cream over medium heat. Stir until smooth and continue cooking only until the sauce is heated through. Remove from the heat and stir in the rum or brandy (if using). Spoon a few tablespoons of the dulce de leche sauce on small serving plates. Slice the poached pears and set on top of the sauce. Spoon about 2 teaspoons of the spiced wine syrup over the pear slices and top with walnuts or pecans. Serve while still warm. Notes: The poached pears, spiced wine syrup, and dulce de leche sauce can be made ahead of time. Reheat just before serving.
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chocolate chip shortbread Pair with: Scotch Ale
ingredients ½ cup butter, softened ½ cup sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup flour ¼ teaspoon salt ½ cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips
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instructions Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in vanilla and add flour and salt. With a wooden spoon or spatula, stir in chips. Divide dough in half and press each half into an ungreased 8 inch round pan. Bake 12 minutes or until edges are golden. Score each shortbread with sharp knife into 8 even wedges, but do not cut all the way through. Leave in pans and cool on racks for 10 minutes. Invert onto racks and cool completely. Break into wedges and serve.
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Chocolate chocolate Bread bread pudding Pair with: Belgian Abbey Dubble
ingredients For the pudding: 1 (8 ounce) loaf baguette ½ cup unsalted butter, melted 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips 3 cups heavy cream 1 cup milk 2 eggs 8 egg yolks, room temperature ½ cup white sugar 1 tablespoon vanilla extract For the sauce: 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped 1 tablespoon butter 1/3 cup boiling water ½ cup white sugar 3 tablespoons corn syrup 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
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instructions Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 9x13 dish. Slice baguette in Ÿ-inch slices and brush one side with melted butter. Place on baking sheet and into preheated oven until golden, about 1 minute. Melt chocolate chips in microwave or double boiler. Set aside. In a medium saucepan over low heat, heat cream and milk until warm. Do not scald. In a large bowl beat eggs, egg yolks, 1/2 cup sugar and 1 tablespoon vanilla until smooth. Blend in warm cream mixture a little at a time. Whisk egg mixture into melted chocolate until smooth. Arrange toasted bread slices, buttered side up, in prepared dish until dish is full. Pour chocolate mixture over bread and let rest 40 minutes, until liquid is absorbed. Line a roasting pan with a damp kitchen towel. Place baking dish on towel, inside roasting pan, and place roasting pan on oven rack. Fill roasting pan with boiling water to reach halfway up the sides of the baking dish. Bake 40 to 50 minutes, until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Let rest 8 hours or overnight. To make sauce, melt unsweetened chocolate in small saucepan over low heat. Stir in 1 tablespoon butter until melted. Stir in boiling water, 1/2 cup sugar and corn syrup until smooth. Increase heat to medium and bring to a boil Boil gently 3 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in 1 teaspoon vanilla. To serve: Warm bottom of baking dish, loosen edges of pudding with a knife then invert cold pudding onto a serving platter. Serve with warm chocolate sauce.
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Barbecued barbecued Beef beef Pair with: English Porter
ingredients 1½ cups ketchup ¼ cup packed brown sugar ¼ cup red wine vinegar 2 tablespoons prepared Dijon-style mustard 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce 1 teaspoon liquid smoke flavoring ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon ground black pepper ¼ teaspoon garlic powder 1 (4 pound) boneless chuck roast
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instructions In a large bowl, combine ketchup, brown sugar, red wine vinegar, Dijon-style mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and liquid smoke. Stir in salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Place chuck roast in a slow cooker. Pour ketchup mixture over chuck roast. Cover, and cook on Low for 8 to 10 hours. Remove chuck roast from slow cooker, shred with a fork, and return to the slow cooker. Stir meat to evenly coat with sauce. Continue cooking approximately 1 hour.
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