I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I set your rules before me. I cling to your testimonies, O Lord; let me not be put to shame! Psalm 119:30-31 (ESV)
CONTENTS 6
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14 Contributors: Bethany DeHamer Misty Fantauzzo Laura Grotenhuis, LPC, M.S. Ed Jen Lawrence, MS, MFTC Carol Peterson Carrie Rothones
6 ADMIRING THE HARLOT By Bethany DeHamer 10 THE UNKNOWN PATH By Misty Fantauzzo 14 A QUICHE TO SHARE - RECIPE By Laura Grotenhuis
Publisher: Melissa Rhoads Editor: Gail Hoffman Photo Credits: Misty Fantauzzo (Cover) Melissa Rhoads Pat Russell Becky Michaud
16 THE DARK SIDE OF EXPECTATIONS By Laura Grotenhuis, LPC, M.S.Ed. 18 NOT SO GREAT EXPECTATIONS By Jen Lawrence, MS, MFTC 22 WHO ARE THEY? By Carrie Rothones 26 EXPECTATIONS AND MONEY By Carol Peterson
Women of Foundations
Connecting Hearts Magazine
Dear Readers, Each new year is full of new resolve and expectations. This issue is all about those expectations! We hope you enjoy these beautiful stories about expectations in parenting, foster parenting, mission work, money and more. We welcome your feedback, suggestions, and submissions. In Jesus, Melissa and Gail
Article submissions to: Melissa.a.rhoads@gmail.com Subject line: Connecting Hearts article submission Photo Submissions to: Melissa.a.rhoads@gmail.com Subject line: Connecting Hearts photo submission
Admiring the Harlot
by Bethany DeHamer
You’re probably expecting me to talk about Rahab, which is understandable. While the Bible mentions many women of questionable history, Rahab is one of the most familiar, for her history as well as her brave actions. But my biblical hero has no name. 1 Kings 3 in the NASB describes her merely a “harlot.” This is interesting, since I don’t remember her history ever mentioned in the casual retelling of her story. If you are familiar with King Solomon, then you are familiar with this woman. 1 Kings tells of how two harlots went to Solomon, each claiming to be the mother of the son they were fighting over. Two women living in the same house gave birth three days apart, and then one son died. One of the women claimed that the other had stolen her healthy baby and replaced him with the one who had died. And so, two women with postpartum bodies
each stood in front of the king and claimed that the boy belonged to them. Solomon, known for his wisdom, was expected to determine the rightful mother. This story is probably well-known not because it is a broadly relatable problem, but because it attests to King Solomon’s wisdom – his most famous attribute. So why is this “harlot” my biblical hero? In June 2015, after years of delays, my husband and I became certified foster parents. It was something we had dreamed of for so long we couldn’t wait anymore. Rather than focus on fostering children we were almost guaranteed to be able to adopt (kids whose parental rights had been terminated), we decided to take the first kid (s) who needed us and who fit our family. When you are open to fostering in any form (long-term or short-term), the days are
frantic with expectation. The phone may ring on a nearly daily basis, as every child who enters the system and remotely fits what you are looking for is offered as a possibility. Then caseworkers review the list of interested foster parents for a particular child, and choose the best match. For two weeks, this was our life. Waking up every morning full of expectation and hope, and going to bed somewhere between slightly disappointed and (when a child’s story had grabbed our hearts) heartbroken. Most foster parents have more limitations than we did (due to other kids in the house, focus on adoptable kids, etc.) and wait much longer, but we still struggled with patience for the eternity of those two weeks.
And then the call came. Two sisters had just been taken from their biological mother that morning and needed a place to live. Right now. Our (Christian) agency worker was so certain that these were supposed to be our kids that, for the first time ever, she had gone ahead and sent over our information for placement approval without asking us. She knew it was meant to be, and it was. We received the call shortly thereafter that we had been chosen to be these girls’ foster parents, and they arrived on our porch within just a couple of hours of us finding out they existed. They arrived hungry, so we sat them down to lunch after a quick house tour and began getting to know them. The older girl, age 3, began, during lunch, to talk about this
house she had just arrived at as “our home.” We were in love. The next six months passed in a blur. The girls grew, and changed, and developed distinct personalities and interests. We celebrated a birthday as the older one turned four, and our life revolved around cat noises as the 18-month-old became obsessed with meowing. If you could have picked a poster family for advertising foster care, it would have been us. The girls were ahead of the curve, both
indifferent biological parents. Our 4-yearold proudly bragged to the world that she had “TWO mommies and TWO daddies and THREE grandmas and THREE grandpas!” She called herself, “a BERRY lucky girl.” We expected, partially out of hope and partially because of indications from the county, that we would continue this way. It seemed that the girls were destined to stay with us, and that we had worked out a relationship with their bio mom that would allow her to have some contact with the girls down the road. We were wrong.
physically and intellectually. They were Amazonian geniuses, and they learned quickly that we had high behavioral expectations as well. We worked hard to show care and concern for their biological mother, who we saw twice a week during county-ordered bio visits for the girls. Our situation didn’t fit any of the stereotypical expectations of poorly-behaved, academically-behind foster kids or absent,
In a reversal of p r e v i o u s indications and efforts, and without a p p a r e n t completion of requirements, the county decided to suddenly return custody of the girls to their bio mom and put her in a sink-or-swim situation to see if she could be a parent again. It was rushed, it was unexpected, and it just felt wrong. How could they do this to us? To the girls? We had already hired a lawyer – not because we thought the mom would get custody, but because if she lost custody permanently, we wanted to be ready to move toward adoption. So we were fully legally equipped to fight this decision. We could have made it ugly. Maybe we wanted to make it ugly.
But we didn’t. We knew a court battle would tear the girls apart and make it so there was no way they could keep both of their families. Indicators were that a fight was unlikely to do anything but make the transition uglier. In the end, we told the county that we would respect their decision. We politely complied with the transition protocol. We did everything we could to support their biological mother in the move. And we winced as she struggled to be the mother they needed, knowing full well that the county worried only about abuse and neglect, not about whether our girls would be raised to realize their potential. We watched our advanced, well-behaved girls turn into people we barely recognized. As we adjusted to this new life, where we loved our girls from afar and continued trying to build relationship with their mother, we stayed connected with the foster community. We took in two more foster kids, this time for just a brief placement, and I was invited to speak at foster parent trainings for a Christian foster-recruitment organization called Project 1.27. I was asked to share with prospective Christian foster parents about my experience, with a series of prepared points. I had attended this training myself a year before, so I thought I knew what to expect. But I had forgotten that the pastor leading the training would bring up Solomon and the two harlots. As the pastor shared from the Bible, intending to give merely an illustration about envy, I began to cry. For the first time, I realized that this had become my story. I had been faced with the choice of ripping my children apart or giving them to someone
who we weren’t sure deserved them. Someone that even the 4-year-old no longer wanted to live with. I suddenly understood this nameless woman who was ready to sacrifice everything before she would allow her child to be caught in the middle of this fight. So we grieved. We sobbed. We became the cautionary tale that makes others fear foster care. Because we are conditioned to expect that a child given to us is ours to keep. We may speak clichés about how our children belong to God, but in the end, we expect our child to stay with us. We don’t TRULY believe that our kids are God’s to do with as He sees fit. People spoke of our bravery and our lives filled with the choruses of “I don’t know how you do it” and “I could never give them up.” But that’s the point. Foster care asks us to die to ourselves, love the orphan (or the temporarily orphaned), and realize that none of our children belong to us anyway. We did that, and two girls in need got to live in a Christian home for six months, and they acquired a surrogate extended family of Christians who love them and their mother. It’s not what we expected, but the foster system will always offer us new children to love, and to anyone willing to die to themselves for these kids. We’re ready to do this again. ♥ (Project 1.27 [http://project127.com/] offers free information sessions for Christians who want to learn more about becoming or supporting foster parents. For more thoughts on our foster care journey, visit https://tossingstarfish Photo Credit: Becky Michaud, http:// beckymichaudphotography.com/
I roll up my sleeve and with clenched jaw and a queasy stomach prepare to receive my typhoid immunization. "What have I gotten myself into?" I think. Will I teach a photography class to secondary students? Ummm... Okay. I guess. I mean, you know I'm not a professional photographer, right? Or a teacher for that matter. Checking my online ticket, I see that I will be traveling for 2 days. In various airports for 10 hours, in the air for 20 hours followed by a 100-mile car ride across rural Rwanda. Hmmm...was this a good idea for the girl who doesn't handle lack of sleep well? Just ask my family. And speaking of family, the task of preparing my husband to feed 4 children, 3 birds and 2 dogs while I am gone is a little daunting. I must resign myself to the fact that there will be lots of pizza delivery. Does anyone know if canaries can live on pizza crust?
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I am headed to the country of Rwanda in Africa. As part of a team visiting Boneza, a small community in western Rwanda on the shores of Lake Kivu, we will be assessing the needs of the community and discussing the possibility of future trips to provide support and encouragement. Looking at our itinerary I am excited, but filled with insecurity and doubt about the trip. My apprehension about the trip has less to do with stories I have heard of spitting cobras and more to do with my role on the team. Our schedule includes visiting schools, constructing houses, and training pastors. I am not a teacher, a builder, or a preacher. My mind fills with "I'm just..." thoughts. I'm just a housewife with no obvious skills to benefit the team. I've been cooking and cleaning and raising my four children for the past 17 years in middle class America. What will I contribute to the lives of the people in Boneza? I don't have the practical or typical skills for mission work. That is where my doubts come from. What I do know, is that God made me curious about the world, he gave me a love of stories and words, and a desire to see beauty. If I trust that He made me to love those things and if I look for ways to honor Him with my passions, then maybe I am a missionary. So, I am preparing in practical ways with schedules and lists, but also in heart ways with prayer and an intent to clear the fog of doubt from my eyes and focus on what God will put in my path. As I have been preparing, so God has been preparing in His way, weaving His greatness into my small ideas, to make them stronger and more beautiful than I could have imagined.
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Now as the trip approaches I am, at every turn, seeing God orchestrate my role. I am delivering 50 colorful dresses, sewn by loving hands at church, to little girls who have never owned a new piece of clothing. I am filling a suitcase with school supplies collected by my daughter's classmates to deliver to the preschool, and I am taking $1000.00, given to me by friends and strangers to purchase Bibles for Christians who do not own one. I feel amazingly blessed to have the opportunity to deliver these things and to see the smiles on the faces of those receiving them. And I look forward to hearing their stories and returning home to tell them.
I have been reminded of Isaiah 52:7 as I imagine the mountains surrounding the place we are going and the people there who are eager for our arrival. "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings..." I don't know if my feet are beautiful but they are blessed to be traveling the beautiful path God has prepared for me. Even before I arrive in Africa, my heart and understanding of His nature and His plans, is changing. And although I am typically uncomfortable following the unknown path, it has been freeing to loosen my grasp on my expectations and my doubts.
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Often when we face new opportunities and adventures in this life we are filled with questions. What are my gifts? How can God use me? Is this really what I should be doing? I have pondered these questions over the past few months. A friend recently told me, "You were given an opportunity and you said yes. God can use your yes even if you don't know how." That was wise counsel and a great reminder that I may have my plans and expectations, as well as my doubts, but God's plan is already in place and He does not doubt. He does not question my place in the team. Nor does He wonder about my gifts. He just wants me to say yes and trust Him.♼
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By Laura Grotenhuis
I first found this recipe while I was in graduate school. I needed to find budget friendly recipes since, as a graduate assistant I was only paid $897 per month! Poking around the Christian book store I found Once-a-month Cooking by Mimi Wilson and Mary Beth Lagerborg. That was many years ago, but this recipe continues to be a family favorite. The first recipe is for one quiche, but if you are feeling really adventurous, you can make 8 at once. Your family and friends will thank you! ♼
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Spinach Quiche 10 oz package frozen, chopped spinach 1 bunch chopped green onion bulbs 4 eggs 16 oz carton low-fat cottage cheese 2 cups grated, cheddar cheese ¼ cup crouton crumbs 1 frozen deep dish pie shell Thaw spinach and squeeze to remove liquid. Combine spinach, green onion, eggs, cottage cheese and cheddar cheese. Put into frozen pie shell or plain pie pan for a gluten free option. Cover with wax paper, then aluminum foil and freeze. Put crouton crumbs in a snack bag and tape to pie pan. To prepare for serving: thaw quiche and crumbs. Bake uncovered in a preheated 350 degree oven for 1 hour, add the crouton crumbs and cook for 15 minutes more. Optional filling ingredients: This quiche is so versatile, if you cut down on the spinach, you can add a variety of ingredients to suite your particular taste. I have added cooked bacon, sautéed mushrooms, ham, sautéed bell peppers or green chilies.
Quiches to Give (about 14 regular or 8 deep dish) 2-32oz pkgs. of frozen spinach 32 oz sliced mushrooms* 8 bunches of green onions, chopped* 36 eggs* 8 lbs. cottage cheese* (a 5 lb. and a 3 lb.) 5 lbs. cheddar cheese* 1 to 2 lbs. bacon, chopped and cooked 8 deep dish frozen pie shells or 14 regular pie shells 10 oz. bag of croutons *can be found at Sam’s Club in these quantities Thaw spinach and drain. Sauté mushrooms. Beat eggs and add spinach, mushrooms, green onions, cottage cheese, cheddar cheese and bacon. I mix this quantity in a canning pot because I don’t have any bowls that are big enough. Pour mixture into pie shells (fill to just below the rim of the shell) or pie plate for a gluten free option, cover with wax paper, then foil and freeze. Put ¼ cups of crouton crumbs in each snack bag and tape to each pie pan. Tape these instructions to each: To prepare for serving: thaw quiche and crumbs. Bake uncovered in a preheated 350 degree oven for 1 hour, add crumbs and cook for 15 minutes more.
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THE DARK SIDE of Expectations
By Laura Grotenhuis, LPC, M.S.Ed. In my quest to understand life, people, and our relationship with God, the topic of expecting has given me some pause. I think that this is especially true because I tend to be such a black and white thinker. I like putting things in categories like “good” and “bad.” “useful” or not. In many ways it makes life easier, but that is not true when it comes to understanding expectations. In my life, expectations have really gotten me into a lot of trouble. I have expected a lot from myself which causes me to have unreasonably high goals and perfectionistic tendencies. While this does help me to achieve a lot, it can also create a lot of anxiety. I also have high expectations of others which leads to feelings of disappointment, frustration and even anger. So in my “all or nothing” mentality, I have at times believed that the answer was to rid myself of all expectations. In fact I believe that this is Buddhism’s response to the problem of suffering. If we just rid ourselves of our desires then suffering ceases. While logically this makes a lot of sense, it only takes a few hours of trying to live this way to realize that it is nearly impossible and perhaps wholly impractical to be void of all expectations. I guess to really understand what expectations are with both their positives and negatives, a definition is in order. Miriam Webster defines the word expectation as; “a strong belief that something will happen in the future,” and the verb to expect as “to consider something to be reasonable, due, necessary or obligated.” This definition really helped me to understand where I become derailed. The key bit of information I have been missing when it comes to expectations is the idea that there could in fact be healthy and unhealthy expectations and the difference lies completely not in what we are expecting, but how we are expecting. To be able to anticipate or expect things is very useful. Every day we use knowledge to predict the future. For example, the sun came up yesterday, so it is reasonable and likely for it come up today. Without this type of expectation our lives would be full of chaos; our souls long to know what we can count on in order to feel safe. As I see it, this type of expectation is not problematic but instead is practical and necessary.
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Expecting is this way seems confident, yet humble enough not to be certain. There is an element of hope without demand. The big shift seems to happen when we look at the definition as a verb. As I read those words “to consider something to be reasonable, due, necessary or obligated,” I can hear an attitude of entitlement. I know that when I believe that something is due to me, I am no longer in a humble state of mind, which isn’t pretty. The times when my children have this attitude don’t make me want to do what they want. I had never thought about the difference that comes with holding expectations loosely compared to the times that I demand that my expectations are met. And it doesn’t just stop with us. Probably the most important thing about this observation is how these expectations affect relationships. If I am really honest about my unrealistic expectations, I can see how disheartening they have been to the people I love the most. I have seen how this demanding spirit fails to be happy with well-intended effort, but insists on more, more, more! In many ways it is the opposite of love. I have a specific example where expectation almost eclipsed my ability to be grateful and loving toward a dear friend. At my previous job, I had a friend whom I loved deeply. We were extremely close and shared our lives with each other generously. When this job ended our relationship was never the same. I expected that it would continue on with the same level of intimacy we once had, but that was not to be. For a long time I was very angry and I was stuck in a place of pride and unforgiveness because there was no acceptable explanation to me for the change. I am very thankful that God has provided a new idea… love. Love is patient and kind, it is not arrogant, it does not insist on its own way, it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and it never ends
(paraphrased from 1 Corinthians 13). Even if I am hurt and sad that my expectations are not being met, it does not mean that she is bad, or I am bad or that our relationship never meant anything. (Can you hear the “all or nothing thinking” in that last sentence?) In this case, love means believing the best about my friend, despite what the dark side of expectations would tell me. While I don’t expect that this change in attitude will deliver me from all hurt, disappointment, or anger, I do believe that it makes room for God to do a mighty work in me. All of those feelings are normal and tell me that I really miss this friendship, I really do wish that things were different. And I am so grateful that God has pointed out the ways that my expectations have kept me stuck in a dark place which creates a place for the enemy to spin some tall tales about her, about me and ultimately skew the way that I look at our friendship. Lord, forgive me for the times I believe I know best, with You, with others, and even with myself. Love is not arrogant, but I am sometimes. Thank you for your forgiveness and for the ways it creates more room for love in my heart. Continue to gently show me the ways that a demanding entitled spirit hinders my ability to be loving, grateful and accepting. ♥
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (ESV)
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Not so Great
Expectations
By Jen Lawrence, MS, MFTC
Ah, the beginning of a new year. The first few months, while cold and snowy outside, seem to get people fired up on the inside. So many resolutions, so much hope, so much energy. I hate to admit it, but I am one of those fired up resolution people. Every year I come out of the holiday season and have resolved to make some changes. Most of the time they do not last long and I’m left judging myself about why I failed so spectacularly yet again. Why did I fail? Why in the face of what are likely several very logical reasons for that failure do I continue to beat myself up? And how come, as a therapist who is supposed to be aware of this kind of mind game, I fall prey to it?! In my better, more balanced and objective moments, I am quite aware that my expectations have gotten the better of me. Not only do I get myself in trouble with internal expectations for myself, but I also get in trouble when I have expectations of others. I recently had an experience in which I was returning to an environment that, several years ago, was exciting, fun, and accepting. I was surprised to find that it had changed. I found myself beginning to get down and having thoughts like, “What have I done coming back? I need to change my mind and find a way out of this!” I had to calm myself a bit and not make any decisions from the emotional place where I landed when my expectations were not initially met. After the first evening of my return was over, I stopped
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and took stock of the situation outside of the place where disappointment clouded my mind. I am happy to report that I found the good in the situation and am back to being excited about my return. Expectations are normal and occur in almost every situation where we find ourselves. They are a part of our natural wiring that helps us stay safe. Surprise can be good, but not if it is a m u g g e r jumping out at us from the scary dark corner of a dimly lit alley. So, we anticipate things (based on our experiences and knowledge, of course). That anticipation is made up of expectations. How can we manage these expectations so they do not become less than positive, like my examples? Sometimes we can’t manage them and our work on them comes after the fact. Like I did with my disappointment, you can notice that you are having an emotional reaction. Name the emotion, in my case I was disappointed and that led me to want to run away (fear that I had made a bad decision I was going to be stuck with). I tried to stay curious about that reaction. I stepped back and asked myself if it was really that bad or simply different from my previous experience. Then, I was able to begin to consider other explanations for why the situation was different. In my case, the people involved were different from those who had been
there before and these new people were not used to me as I was not used to them. We both needed time to adjust. I was able to arrive at this realization and re-examine the situation, look for the positives, find them, and move forward happily. Sometimes we can manage our expectations beforehand by being aware that they exist. For example, my experience with resolutions was an ideal situation for me to stop and recognize that I had expectations that were not going to be met. I needed to ask myself if they were too high to be achieved in the time I was considering (i.e. losing 20 pounds in a week!) or if I was even capable of achieving them (running 10 miles when chronic injuries prevent me from even running ½ mile!). It does not mean I give up on those goals. It means I give myself the opportunity to reassess what is reasonable on the road to achievement. This approach applies to expectations of others as well. I cannot count the number of times I have approached my husband or children with anticipation that certain tasks were going to be done or that they were going to feel the same way I did about something and was completely surprised. Just the other night I came home later than originally planned. I expected my husband would have seen there was nothing set out for dinner or prepared in the refrigerator and conclude that he needed to make a decision about dinner and move forward with it. To my surprise, he was downstairs working out waiting for me to figure out dinner. My first reaction was annoyance . . . because my expectations had not been met! But, as I realized I was thrown off and in an emotional place, I took a breath and re-
examined the situation. I was able to find some other storylines that fit the situation just as obviously as my annoyed reaction and calm down. Then, I was able to approach my husband and say, “I hope you feel like you can make a decision about dinner without me when this happens again,” rather than saying something snarky in the moment, driven by my annoyance. He took this statement in the spirit it was intended and we had a calm discussion about what the next time might look like. Something else to consider when it comes to expectations is noticing them and then letting them go. It is ok to simply drop expectations, especially if they are at all judgmental. A place to start is learning to notice your expectations. One way to do this is to track them. You could keep an expectations journal and write them down when they occur to you. If it makes more sense, try picking a time of day to stop and review the previous 24 hours and capture whatever expectations you can remember. After a week or two of data, you may notice some patterns in the expectations and will probably be much more aware of them. At that point, you can begin to work more directly with the expectations as they come up. You can assess whether you want to let them go, revise them, or leave them just as they are. Everyone has expectations. Becoming more aware of yours can give you some power back over emotional reactions that come from unmet expectations. Take it slowly and give yourself some grace as you begin the noticing process. Self-awareness is a skill that takes time to master. Good luck!♥
Jen Lawrence is a couple and family therapist in Loveland and is an ambassador for Foundations Church. She works with several other professional therapists in the Hope for the Journey Counseling Center in Loveland. This counseling center is a community of professional therapists who are committed to serving Jesus Christ and providing quality, clinical counseling through authentic, caring relationships with clients. The center provides individual, couple, and family therapy for all ages of clients. Location: 1401 S. Taft Ave, Ste. 206 Loveland, CO 80537. Phone: 970 541-9066. http://www.hope4thejourneyloveland.com/
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Who Are They? By Carrie Rothones
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It’s a new year. How many of us have
taken the initiative to write out resolutions to better ourselves? You may have searched the internet for the latest diet, workout, and organization ideas. Maybe you’ve started a bucket list of things you want to accomplish. You look to the bloggers, posts, Pinterest and Facebook for the latest ideas for the goals you have. I’m no different. Yes, you will find some wonderful things to help you in your new aspirations and intention. There’s nothing wrong with that. Let’s chat.
at the sacred and see what it says. Let’s eliminate the “they-sayers” and listen to what He says. I think that’s a good idea. Don’t you? Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT) Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Have you ever heard in your conversations with your friends and family the phrase “they say…?” For instance: “They say if you watch your carbs you’ll lose lots of weight.” Or, “They say 50 is the new 40….” You understand what I’m getting at. There are all sorts of authorities out there and people who think they are authorities on becoming a better you in 2017. Problem is all the information we get muddies the water a bit.
We approach the new year with the hope we can change our lives for the better. Instead we need to enter the new year by coming to Jesus and laying down all we have heaped upon ourselves. All the guilt. All the sorrow. All the shame. All the sickness. All the unforgiveness. All the holding on to what we think we need. Whatever is weighing us down we need to let go and allow Jesus to take the burden.
So what’s a girl to do? What should we reach for? What’s our ultimate goal?
According to these verses in Matthew we can see Jesus has given us steps to take. Let’s take a closer look:
Ecclesiastes 1:10 (NLT) says, “Sometimes people say, ‘Here is something new!’ But actually it is old; nothing is ever truly new.”
1. Come to Jesus. In exchange, He will give you rest.
If nothing is really new, why don’t we look
We must make the conscious determined decision to go to Jesus. Sometimes all we can mutter is,
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“HELP!” Guess what? That’s enough.
from toils for the weary and heavy laden who come to Him.
2. Take up His yoke. A yoke is used on oxen to direct them. They are often used in pairs. Two oxen pull together to get the heavy plowing done. Not only is Jesus the farmer who guides the oxen, He is paired with us to pull the weight. 3. Learn from Him. He will guide you. His life is the perfect model for ours. And, the good news is He is gentle and humble in His teaching. He is never harsh in His instruction and guidance. This doesn’t mean the hard things in life won’t come. It means He will show us how to get through and enable us to do it with kindness and love. The result is finding the ultimate bucketfiller in His rest. The Greek word for “rest” is “anapausis” which is a word consisting of two other words, “ana” (again) and “pauso” (to cease). An example would be the relaxing or letting down of chords or strings which have been strained or drawn tight. In Matthew 11:28 the Lord promises “anapausis,” a cessation
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He promises His yoke is easy and His burden is light. It’s hard to imagine our problems in life being easy or light. What does He mean? Let’s look at the Greek again. “Chrestos” is the word for “easy,” and it means “to furnish what is needed.” It also means “profitable, fit, good for any use. It’s good, gentle, easy to use or bear.” * (Pause for my nerd moment!) This is why I love digging into the original language of Scripture. We learn so much when we dig, although we don’t need to. God’s Word in any language is still God’s Word. It’s supernatural and powerful. It’s just fun for me. In the Old Testament the Hebrew for “burden” is “Massa.” Isaiah 46:1 (RSV) says this, “Bel bows down, Nebo stoops, their idols are on beasts and cattle; these things you carry are loaded as burdens on weary beasts.” Bel and Nebo were the names of the false
gods of Babylon. They were so large and heavy they had to be carried by oxen. It was a burden for even the strong ox to carry. Isaiah pointed this out to the Israelites who constantly turned their eyes and hearts to the idols of others. Instead they should have been keeping their eyes on the One True God. Interestingly, this same word for “burden” can also describe the uplifting of souls, which is the genuine desire of the human heart. Jeremiah 32:40 (NLT) “And I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them. I will put a desire in their hearts to worship me, and they will never leave me.” Our true desire is to worship Him. Though it’s been buried by unbelief and distraction of this world, we are created to be in relationship with God. It is only through Jesus we can find this light and easy burden of the One True God. This is to love and worship Him. We are created to do this. Once we accept Jesus as our God and get rid of the idols in our lives we find His way is fulfilling even in the hardest of times. The voices of this world are the “they-sayers.” We get burdened down by taking on the influences and advice pulling us away from Him. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for healthy living and getting organized but when these things become our main focus they become burdens. Why not ask the King of the universe to guide you in all areas of your life? The result is always amazing. 2 Corinthians 9:10 (NLT) “For God is the One who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, He will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you.” He will provide and you will produce. Sounds like a great idea to me. What an awesome way to achieve your New Year’s resolutions. Ask Him for the resources, strength, peace, rest and all that He gives, to produce His good in you. There’s no better shape to be in than to be in shape to live life as He has always intended for you. Have a Blessed and Happy New Year in 2017 my fellow women. In Him we can do all things! ♥
1 New Testament Lexical Aids NIV Keyword Study Bible 2 New Testament Lexical Aids NIV Keyword Study Bible
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Expectations and By Carol Peterson, Master Financial Coach
MONEY
I love going to Arizona in January or February so I can go outside and not cringe from the
cold. On the other hand, I love living in Colorado which has a change of seasons, even if that means frigid temperatures and snow storms for a season. I’ve learned that by being patient and waiting, just hanging in there, I will see an easier season eventually come. That is a little bit like the way saving money works. We need to be putting away money for the future so that retirement will be a comfortable season. How do we hunker down and wait patiently for our money to work for us so that when the “snow storms” of life pass we will experience sunshine? Many Christians tell me it is not biblical to save because that means we are trusting in money, not God, for our future. I believe if we study what the Bible has to say on this topic we will see that wise people of God store up for the future.
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Proverbs 13:16 A wise man thinks ahead; a fool doesn’t, and even brags about it! I was lucky enough to be in a profession that had mandatory retirement funding. I was kind of mad when I was 24 years old and 5% of my paycheck was being taken out every month and going into some “fund” out of my reach. I wanted to use my money now. Now, as I am approaching 60 years old, I am so very thankful. I know the days of mandatory retirement contributions are over. Workers today must do their own “mandatory retirement.” Proverbs 6:6-8 Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. What is the best way to start saving for retirement? START! It doesn’t matter how old you are, how much money you make or what percentage you save, you must start. If you are like many Americans, you tend to live paycheck to paycheck. This is not what God intended for His followers. Live within your means. Pay off all your non-mortgage debt and cut up all credit cards. Learn to save little by little. “Slow and steady wins the race!” is a good way to look at retirement and savings. Proverbs 21:20 The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down. The Bible makes it clear that it is wise to work hard and plan for the future. Don’t get caught unaware because you failed to plan ahead. If you plan on retiring from your chosen profession someday, make sure you plan ahead and invest for retirement! Saving up for a rainy day, putting your money to work and multiplying it is a wise thing to do. Proverbs 21:5 The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. Proverbs 28:20 A faithful man will abound with blessings, but he who makes haste to be rich will not go unpunished. For more information on how to start planning for retirement, I recommend Chris Hogan’s website and book Retired Inspired, https://www.chrishogan360.com/riq/ For more information on learning to live within your means, I recommend Dave Ramsey’s website and books, www.daveramsey.com. For more information on God’s ways of giving, I recommend Chris Brown’s website and books on stewardship. https://www.stewardship.com/ .♥ www.financialpeace4life.com
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I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart! Psalm 119:32 (ESV)
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