Summer 2016, Vol. 2, Issue 3
Connecting Hearts
CONTENTS 26
10
6 24 6 TRANSITIONS By Becky Baldwin
Contributors: Becky Baldwin Misty Fantauzzo Laura Grotenhuis Jen Lawrence, MS, MFTC Judy Maid Carol Peterson Melissa Rhoads Carrie Rothones
10 A JOURNEY OF CREATIVITY By Misty Fantauzzo and Laura Grotenhuis
Publisher: Melissa Rhoads Editor: Gail Hoffman
20 FINDING REST By Carrie Rothones
Photo Credits: Misty Fantauzzo (Cover) Melissa Rhoads Elayne Woods http://elaynewoodsphotogra phy.zenfolio.com/about.html
16 SUMMERTIME CONNECTIONS By Jen Lawrence, MS, MFTC
23 THE HELPFUL SLIVER By Judy Maid 24 LEMONADE RECIPE By Misty Fantauzzo 26 DENA BALLAGH’S JOURNEY By Melissa Rhoads 34 FINANCIAL FITNESS By Carol Peterson 36 YOU CAN BE SURE – Q AND A ABOUT JESUS By Carrie Rothones
Women of Foundations
Connecting Hearts Magazine
Dear Readers, We have some exciting news! Print copies of Connecting Hearts Magazine are now available. You can check out a print copy at the Women’s table in the Foundations’ Lobby. If you would like to purchase a copy, click here. We hope you enjoy this issue full of inspiring stories, devotionals and encouraging explanation of scripture. We welcome your feedback, suggestions, and submissions. In Jesus, Melissa and Gail
Article submissions to: Melissa.a.rhoads@gmail.com Subject line: Connecting Hearts article submission Photo Submissions to: Melissa.a.rhoads@gmail.com Subject line: Connecting Hearts photo submission
TRANSITIONS
By Becky Baldwin
“Sometimes God takes us places to teach us things.” My husband recently said this, and I immediately wrote it down. It may not be the most philosophical thing he’s ever said--but it struck me. How true this has been in my life thus far... God taking me places; teaching me things. In 2008, my culture changed: God
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clearly called my husband Matt and I to serve as urban missionaries with World Impact in an area called Chester in South Philadelphia. Our hearts have beat passionately for urban ministry for a long time, so this move made so much sense to us. We lived across the street from the housing projects in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America. If you live in Pennsylvania, you know about Chester. If you want to get to the Philadelphia International Airport or go enjoy a Philadelphia Union professional soccer game, Chester is the wretched place you have to drive through on I-95. You try not to look, because it’s just too painful. Children playing in trash, families living in condemned housing, men standing on their porches, shooting into the air or across backyards with AK-47s simply because they are bored. These are the realities of Chester. Drug deals went down in front of our house daily. Every night, we took all of our
valuables up to our bedroom, dead bolted the door, and fully expected to wake up to an empty house in the morning. During that year, my husband served in youth ministry and on the church planting team, and I taught 3rd grade at the Christian school run by World Impact. The areas in which we were serving were the intersections of our greatest passions and strongest gifts. And yet, it was the hardest thing we had ever experienced. I was overworked as a teacher, and the community and support that we had hoped for didn’t pan out as we had expected, leaving us feeling very alone. It was my “desert season.” In 2012, my career changed: I became a mom. I never thought I would be able to get pregnant without major problems or interventions. And yet, I easily did. My world turned upside down. It was all I had ever wanted, and yet completely opposite of everything I had ever known. I didn’t know it was possible to love or even worry so intensely. I didn’t know it was possible to feel so proud of a little someone while also feeling so inadequate as her mommy. Or think she was the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world, and yet hate my postpartum body with everything in me. Motherhood is a beautiful, confusing, terrifying, sacrificial blessing. It’s one that is actually quite hard to describe and prepare someone for. It found me reconsidering my career and eventually resigning from my job, brainstorming every possible plan to be able to stay home with my baby. And then, slowly, in all of the blessings of motherhood, I felt like I was losing myself amidst the never-
ending demands of breastfeeding, diaper changes, and sleep struggles. My identity was more closely tied to my career in this time than I cared to admit. This was my “who am I?” season. In 2014, my community changed: Matt accepted a job in Fort Collins, Colorado - 28 hours from my family and 17 hours from his. Neither of us had ever even been to Colorado before his interview weekend; aside from the
mountains, we knew nothing about this state. I thought for sure I was moving to Breckenridge, and was quite disappointed when my new t o w n looked an awful lot like Kansas. When all of this began, Matt wasn’t even looking for a job - he had been found on LinkedIn and pursued by recruiters. We were completely happy with our life in Pennsylvania, living in the suburbs of Philly at this point. We had a fantastic church community, still lived near a semi-urban area, volunteered in youth ministry, and were close to all of my family. A move to Colorado was a move away from all that we Connecting Hearts Summer 2016 7
loved, and it was terrifying… terrifying, but also thrilling. It seemed as though God was calling us to northern Colorado. While every door standing between Pennsylvania and Colorado flung wide open, the doors keeping us there started shutting. So, we went west. But from the moment we arrived, I questioned why we were here. Why would God bring us here? Why didn’t God want us there? This was the beginning of my “why am I here?” season. Transitions. We all experience them. They are a
new friends, recognize the need for Him and all that He promises to those that love Him. 3. God has a purpose for this time and place. Try to find what it is. Maybe it’s impossible. But maybe it’s not. It’s not an accident that you are where you are. Choose to embrace it, and allow Him to use you. 4.
Live in community.
Don’t try to do life alone. Rally people to come alongside and then lean hard into each other. If there is no existing community, create it. It takes intentionality and persistence, but it’s so worth it. Make a plan, and make it happen. For me, this happens best when I choose to serve in the local church. 5. Create balance and healthy outlets.
completely natural (and most times necessary) part of life. Some of us welcome change easily, and some of us avoid it at all costs. As I considered what I have learned during each of these three unique seasons in my life, I noticed some common themes. 1.
Find identity in Christ alone.
Everything else can change in an instant. Secure your life’s foundation on the only One who never changes. 2. Depend on the Lord for everything. Whether it is for safety, sleep, finances, or 8 Connecting Hearts Summer 2016
When I drift out of balance and lack healthy outlets, my life has turned to chaos. This doesn’t just happen on its own. It takes careful managing. When I was an overwhelmed inner-city teacher, this meant not doing schoolwork on the weekends. As a busy stay-at-home mom with no family around, this now means investing in a gym membership with childcare and regularly paying babysitters for date nights. Get creative based on the situation, but don’t let it fall by the wayside. Take care of yourself. 6.
Live outside of the comfort zone.
There is so much beauty in wrestling through the hard, uncomfortable areas of life. All three of my transitions were very uncomfortable in their own way, yet I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything. Let’s not avoid it. Let’s embrace it and see what God can reveal in it. We often
cling to Him harder when we are out of our comfort zone and in unchartered waters. 7.
Be open to the Lord’s leading. If He calls, then GO.
Don’t immediately close the door just because it seems too easy or too hard. I have found great freedom in seeking God in these times and praying that He makes my path abundantly clear. He doesn’t always throw doors wide open, but when He does, there is great peace in going back to that place of certainty when doubt sets in. “Sometimes God takes us places to teach us things.” It’s so true isn’t it? It’s a perspective shift when life is hard. Let’s be ready and open to embrace all that He has for us, no matter the season you find yourself in.♥
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Laura Grotenhuis is a mother, a woman of faith, a counselor, a friend, and an artist. She may struggle with that last label, as many of us do. An artist? Art is for fancy people. Art is for the halls of quiet museums. Art is a commodity. Art is complex and for those who are trained in theory, paintbrushes and canvas. Art is for collecting and admiring. I am not an artist. But you are. You are art. Your life is art; a creative expression of God’s nature as the ultimate artist. In her book, A Million Little Ways, Emily Freeman explores the idea of art and our role as artists. “In the beginning, God created. And when He made art in the beginning, He made us in His creative image. Art came first.” Not only are we the creation, we were made to be artists ourselves, to be apprentices of the Master Artist. Made “in His image” we have been given the gift of creativity to express our inner selves. We create words, ideas, music, and technologies. We create order, organization, and solutions to problems. We create stories, families, gardens, and meals. We create places to live, places of healing and places of learning. We create in the very act of living. Creativity fuels the soul. It aligns your skills with the world around you to provide joy, solutions, beauty, and encouragement to both the creator and the observer. For Laura, creativity provided healing. Her art was expressed in renovating a vintage trailer after her husband Cris passed away. She recently invited me over to share how being creative has impacted her life. And to tour “Sylvia,” her 1965 Terry Compass trailer.
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Laura and her husband Cris enjoyed creating a life and family together. She was the creative and he was the handy man. He was the optimist and she was the thinker. One of the things they enjoyed together was their camper and all the memories they made with it. Laura dreamed of owning a vintage camper someday and she expressed that dream in her art. She used watercolor and painted a vintage trailer and made a quilt with vintage trailers in the design. In November of 2013 Cris was diagnosed with cancer and lost his battle in March of 2014. Laura, who loves to create with words, shared her journey of creativity and healing during a very difficult time in her life. In 2014 she wrote the following: “Some decisions are easy, like when I got rid of every last remnant of medical equipment that Cris had required for the last 4 months of his life, but some are not as easy. Even before Cris died, I thought, “What am I going to do about the camper?” Every time I thought about parting with it, I was brought to tears. Buying it was a dream that Cris had and we had a great time picking it out and even more amazing times in it. I told Cris I didn’t think that I could sell the camper. But then came the reality of using it. Cris was the one that took care of all of its maintenance and getting it where it needed to go. Believe it or not, we were quite good at getting it hitched up or backed in, with no fights. But how the heck was I going to do that myself? So I made the difficult decision to sell the trailer. As summer approached I was sitting around thinking about where we should go camping and I started to feel overwhelmed. And then a marvelous idea popped into my head…a vintage camper! I have had a secret obsession with them since we bought our original camper (it hasn’t been very secret to those who are on Pinterest with me). Last summer I actually painted a water color of an old Shasta camper, thinking that would be the closest I would ever get to owning one. So, I decided to do some research and it became clear that a vintage camper would be a great option for me and the kids. So yesterday I became the proud owner of a 1965 Terry Trailer.”
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Laura spent 2014 adjusting to her new life as a single mom, grieving the loss of her husband and renovating the trailer she had named Sylvia. She threw herself into the project, researching every detail, and hunting down the perfect accessories to complement the renovation. It gave her mind something to focus on when she woke in the night to loneliness and worry. Laura is an artist. Using the passion God gave her to create a space she loves, to both honor the past and bring joy to the present. Through her creative process God was able to start her on the path of healing from her loss and begin planning for her future. Recently on contemplating the role that creativity had in her grieving process she wrote:
“Being creative creates space for me to process through thoughts and emotions, and sometimes whatever piece I am working on actually represents a turning point or milestone. As I look back over the important pieces that I have created, one or both of those aspects are true. When I made the camper quilt and watercolor it was during the time that I longed for a vintage camper, so art was a way to acknowledge that desire. One of the best things about doing the camper renovation is that it served multiple purposes. I needed to figure out a new life for the kids and I, specifically deciding what aspects of our life with Cris we were going to bring into the future. People talk about needing to find your ‘new normal’ after a significant loss and Sylvia was part of that. Camping was going to stay, but it had to be in my own style and having Sylvia allowed me to move ahead with confidence and joy. I am surprised as I look back that an inanimate object could help define my reality, but it really did.
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Renovating the camper also served as a major distraction to all of the intense emotions that I was feeling. When I was tired of processing grief, sadness, even hopelessness at times, I could dream about the new memories that we would make in this new camper. What a relief! Sometimes even more relieving was the way that I could get swallowed up by all the fun details of fabric, color and design. I could create and re-create those details in my mind as many times as I wanted. (And the perfectionist part of me loved that!) Ultimately, I think that people can only stay with deeply difficult emotions for so long and then we need a way out. The camper provided a healthy way for me to escape out of the mire of the negative consuming emotions. In addition to all that, there was something so helpful about seeing my plans become reality. I struggle a lot with self-doubt, but even more after Cris was gone. Can I really do what is being asked of me; make a new life for myself and the kids, carry on with hope, have joy again? While I was wrestling through these questions, the answer was actually happening before my eyes. With God’s amazing help, I had a vision for our future and it was taking shape. The promise of Jeremiah 29:11 was coming true in my life. The camper was a tangible representation that we would indeed have a future and it would be good.”♥
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Summertime Connections By Jen Lawrence, MS, MFTC
S ummertime is all about the sound of lawn mowers and kids playing, the smell of
sunscreen and grills, and the fun of outdoor gatherings and taking road trips with the windows down. It is an idyllic time that always passes too quickly. And there is much we can learn about our relationships in the simple lessons that come with summer. The sounds, smells, and experiences of summer can serve as metaphors that remind us to tend to our relationships. Sunscreen is one such metaphor. Just as we need to protect our skin against the harmful rays of the sun with sunscreen, we need to protect our relationships from the harsh effects words can have on those relationships. I sometimes think we forget that words carry such a huge weight. When we say something disparaging about a spouse or other
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family member to a friend or even the neighborhood barista, those words are as damaging to us as they are to the person about whom we are speaking. The very act of forming the words, which requires thought, and then the speaking of those words into the world has an impact neurologically as well as psychologically. It makes me think of the old E. F. Hutton commercial (yes, I’m dating myself!) that used to say, “When E. F. Hutton talks, people listen.” Well, when we talk about others in a negative way when they are not present, people listen. We are naturally wired to be empathetic and we tend to be more focused on negatives we hear because they make us feel better about ourselves. So, if you complain about a spouse or family member, you are likely to get rewarded in the form of sympathy/empathy from someone who does not know the person about whom you are complaining. This reward can feel like you are being justified in what you are saying. And while your complaints may be justified, if they are not balanced with positive comments, then the negativity can begin to
erode the relationship. If you must complain, try sandwiching the negative comment between two positives ones. For example, “My husband worked hard on the yard this weekend and it looks really good. He left his dirty clothes all over the floor again, though. But, he also complimented me a lot about how I take care of our cars.” Positive, negative, positive. Such an approach can allow you to vent while still balancing out the negative statement. Summer picnic food can serve as a metaphor as well. While hotdogs, potato salad, chips, and ice cream cones are staples of summer time food, too much causes unhappy consequences as many the parent dealing with a child’s stomach ache knows. But, none at all can result in a pouty, resentful child.
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Protecting our family and ourselves by limiting eating things that make us/them sick is about balance. Is it ever ok to indulge? Of course! The old adage, “all work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy” applies. And it applies not only to our relationships with our children and spouses but with ourselves as well. Denying ourselves enjoyment and relaxation (whether in the form of food, things, or time) in an effort to squash anxieties we may have about cleaning the house, getting chores done, or not paring down that ever-present to-do list is a recipe for burn-out. If you struggle with allowing yourself or others in your life, like your children, to splurge a little bit, start slowly. You wouldn’t let them eat an entire box of cookies, but a few won’t hurt them. It’s all about balance. The sun gently kissing your skin on that perfect summer day, a field at night filled with fireflies, the sound of happy children calling to each other at the pool on a hot day. These uniquely summer moments are not just symbols of summer but are opportunities for the power of positivity. Author and researcher Dr. Barbara Fredrickson (2009) talks about the power of positivity in her book of the same name. She shares her research about how she has found
that embracing three positive experiences for each deeply negative experience is a powerful combination that helps increase resilience and protects health. She goes on to share that the positive experiences are all around us and all we have to do is look for them and then embrace them. For example, my husband and I walk our dog after dark during the summer because of the most amazing field lit by hundreds of fireflies on our route. We always stop and take several minutes to stand in silence and drink in the beautiful and fleeting sight. It only happens for a few weeks during the summer. In these quiet moments I always try to breathe a little slower, push out thoughts from the day, and really connect with my feelings of awe and gratefulness at being presented this gift. So, when you experience those lovely summer moments, use them, turn toward them, and give yourself the gift of positivity. Summer can be a magical time of the year. It affords us opportunities to be outside and to interact with family and friends like no other time of year. I hope you are able to enjoy this season and, just like the sun shines on the grass and trees to make them grow, you can shine on your relationships with that same nurturing attention.♥
References Fredrickson, B. L. (2009). Positivity. New York, New York: Crown Publishing Group. Jen Lawrence is a couple and family therapist in Loveland and is an ambassador for Foundations Church. She works with several other professional therapists in the Hope for the Journey Counseling Center in Loveland. This counseling center is a community of professional therapists who are committed to serving Jesus Christ and providing quality, clinical counseling through authentic, caring relationships with clients. The center provides individual, couple, and family therapy for all ages of clients. Location: 1401 S. Taft Ave, Ste. 206 Loveland, CO 80537. Phone: 970 541-9066. http://www.hope4thejourneyloveland.com/
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Finding Rest
by Carrie Rothones
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me— watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)
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Jesus walked this earth just like all people do. He was faced with joys and sorrows, pain and loneliness, persecution and praise. He isn't someone who cannot sympathize with us. So when you read the verse above, read it with the knowledge that He really does know what we are going through. Jesus asks three questions:
Jesus then answers these questions by saying, "Come to me. Get away with me and you will recover your life." Again He states His answer with three things: 1. Come to me- We must decide to get up and come towards Him. This often takes physical effort to get up and move away from the stressors in our lives and move towards Him.
1. Are you tired? 2. Burned out? 3. Tired of religion? First, let's look at being tired. Jesus is addressing our physical tiredness here. We all seem to run ourselves ragged and don't really take care of ourselves. But, when we finally reach the bed at night we can't sleep well for all the thoughts running in our minds. We can't find the shut-off switch. Second, Jesus addresses being burned out. This is mental tiredness. People everywhere tire mentally. It's part of being human and trying to figure out life. That shut-off switch is found here but, because of all the muck there, we can't see to find it. Third, Jesus talks about being tired of religion. Jesus wasn't religious. He was and is relational. He exhibits this in His close relationship with God the Father and He calls us all into this wonderful relationship. This relationship with God through Jesus is full of delight.
2. Get away with me- This is a mental decision we make. We have to decide to allow Him to lead us away from the troubles and troubling decisions we have made. 3. Recover your life- Jesus offers a new life, an eternal life with Him, beginning now. He promises to walk us through this life with His strength and ability.
Jesus says, "Walk with me and work with me and I will show you how to take a real rest." He leads by example. He knew how to get up and move away from the hustle and bustle of life. He got away and talked with His Heavenly Father in order to recover His life so that He would function at full strength. Ask yourself, "Do I do these things that Jesus talked about? Do I want to really rest?" Think these things over and try them out for yourself.
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I love this verse, "Learn the unforced rhythm of grace." This means that we have a choice to take hold of the grace and truth He offers us. Just like the mountain river runs over the big boulders that stand in its way, we too can flow by grace and truth over the boulders of life that stand in our path. Jesus doesn't force this on us. He invites us to join Him in His divine rhythm of grace. "I won't lay anything ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you will learn to live freely and lightly." When I wear uncomfortable jeans that ride up or fall down on me I don't realize the stress until later on when I put my PJs on. Oh boy, am I comfortable then! Feeling the softness and good fit, I realize how miserable I was. Just like ill-fitting jeans, life that doesn't fit with God's plan for us creates stress. It isn't until we slip into God's comfortable presence that we realize how miserable we are. We find rest. When Jesus asks us to come to Him, get away with Him to a place where we can meet with Him, He guides us into the place where we fit. Life fits us. We have been given the gifts needed for the area He leads us. This doesn't mean we won't have hard times. It means that He will equip us with the tools we need to live. So, are you tired? Have you physically grown weak? Are you burned out? Does your mind get bogged down? Are you tired of religion? Why not take the path of rest that Jesus offers you? May you find the perfect rest found by following Jesus.♼
Come to me
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By Judy Maid
The Helpful Sliver
It was one of those beautiful summer days. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and my grandsons were out running around playing hide and seek, chasing the dogs and playing in the garden as all the adults were weeding. It was a joyful lighthearted day until my grandson Ethan let out a high pitched scream. Running to his father, Ethan held out his hand with a sliver he’d gotten from playing in a wooded area. After his dad Ryan comforted him, he told him that the only way to get rid of the pain was to pull it out with tweezers. “No daddy, please don’t do that, it would hurt too much,” Ethan said with tears streaming down his face. Ryan calmly told him that he could keep the sliver in there, but it would only continue to hurt, or he could pull it out and have pain, but it would soon get much better. Ethan sadly looked into his father’s eyes and said “Dad isn’t there any other way we could do it?” Ryan, being the wonderful father that he is, gently told him that this was the only way, but he could be there hugging and holding him the whole time. Ethan finally agreed to have him do it and even though it was very painful, he found that it did feel much better after it was removed.
Ethan, ask “God isn’t there any other way?” When God shows us the slivers that are embedded in our souls, we try running and resisting Him. We don’t want to go through the deep pain of removing our hurts, disappointments, and deep wounds that have caused our hearts to shrivel up. We would rather live with the chronic pain, rather than a short time of intense pain that would bring healing, wholeness and a deeper walk with the Lord. I think of that verse in I Corinthians 4:16, “For momentarily light affliction is producing an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.” Our fears keep us from trusting that God has our ultimate good in mind when He lovingly wants to remove these slivers from our hearts. The beauty of this story ended when my daughter Valerie put ointment and a band aid on Ethan’s wound. Isn’t that just like the Holy Spirit who brings us comfort and encouragement as we go through this process of transformation. What about you, are you living with chronic pain because you’re too afraid to allow the Lord to take away the painful slivers in your life? I pray that you would be able to see beyond the pain, into the deep healing that will come into your life.♥ judymaid.wordpress.com
What an amazing comparison to the healing work that God does in our lives. We all have those deep slivers that He wants to remove, but we, like Connecting Hearts Summer 2016 23
Lemon:
The Perfect Summertime Flavor What could be better on a hot summer afternoon than a cold glass of lemonade? I frequently buy bottles of lemonade at Costco as a summertime treat for my kids. But sometimes it’s fun to fancy it up! Try adding a few fresh mint leaves to store bought lemonade. Or mix in a few tablespoons of your favorite fruit flavored syrup. Blueberry is a great compliment to lemon. Another fun combination is equal parts iced tea with lemonade. Or try adding a fruit flavored sparkling water to your lemonade. Making your own lemonade is also easy and allows for unique flavor combinations. If you have a few extra minutes, you can make your own simple syrup and flavor it with almost anything to create a summertime drink all your own.
To make the syrup: 1 cup water 2 cups sugar
Simple Syrup Lemonade
optional flavoring suggestions: zest of 1 orange 2 teaspoons dried lavender buds 1/2 cup crushed raspberries, blueberries or strawberries handful of fresh mint leaves Combine water and sugar in saucepan over medium heat. Stir until sugar has dissolved. Add desired flavoring (optional) and simmer for a couple minutes on low. Set pan aside to cool. Pour through sieve to strain out solids. Store in refrigerator for 2 months (3 weeks if made with fruit puree) To make lemonade: combine 4 cups of cold water with 1 cup cooled simple syrup and 1 cup lemon juice (4-6 lemons depending on size). Taste and adjust to your preference of sweet or sour by adding more syrup or more lemon juice. Other uses for simple syrup: - sweetener for lemonade or iced tea - add to cream to make your own flavored coffee creamer - pour over ice cream or pancakes Recipe by Misty Fantauzzo For more information on simple syrups and a recipe for lemon cookies visit www.kitchentablejournal.com
Dena Ballagh's Journey By Melissa Rhoads
Trailhead When Dena Ballagh regained consciousness in the ICU, 900 miles from home, she had trouble remembering many of the events leading up to that moment. She remembered arriving at the hospital, and bits and pieces of her visit to the ER at Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis. She even remembered moments of wavering consciousness, and the horrible feeling in her chest when her blood pressure collapsed, and her organ systems began to fail. 26 Connecting Hearts Summer 2016
In retrospect, viewed from the routine of her daily life, Dena accepts that she may never remember those moments near death, but she has gained a greater understanding of what happened. And although she would like to know what specifically threatened to take her life, she has gained insight into the fact that this near death event is not a specific moment in her life that must be solved, but rather a step in a journey of which she is a part.
What seemed like a series of stressful but positive changes about one year ago is actually the trailhead of Dena’s journey. Ryan, Dena and their three boys began attending Foundations Church. Ryan also started a new job. Dena had been presented with an opportunity to earn extra income through Nerium, a relationship-marketing business. Dena, an online statistics professor, was actually uncomfortable with the idea of a job that involved having people in her home, so she approached the decision as she does other decisions in her life: She prayed. In prayer about what to do with this new possibility, Dena felt led by the Holy Spirit rather than her fears. She also had the encouragement of a godly couple, lifelong friends, Lisa and Mark Wright, who were prayerfully involved in this business. So she took her first steps down the trail, putting aside her fears and insecurities, and said “yes” to a business which included having people in her home and daily life. In spite of some worries, “what if my house isn’t good enough…what If I’m not organized enough…what if they don’t like me...” she trusted that she had been led to this place in response to prayer, and she knew that God’s truth was her reality, not her fears. Starting with a simple “yes” to the idea of trusting God to be bigger than her own insecurity, being open to this new job led to the fulfillment of a desire that God had put on her heart long before. Dena opened
her home to women for a Bible Study. This opportunity was not a coincidence, but was orchestrated by God. Because she had already acted with trust in God and had not been ruled by her insecurities, she had practice opening her home - she was experienced! And now she was getting to say yes to something that she had wanted for a long time. A home Bible study. Just after the Bible study wrapped up, Dena and her husband traveled to St. Louis for a conference for Nerium partners. There, Dena and Ryan were reunited with their friends Mark and Lisa, who had traveled from California. On Friday of the conference, Mark and Lisa hosted a get together in their room. While Dena was there, she began to experience back pain, which she thought was the familiar pain of a kidney stone. She knew she would need medical care, but initially hoped she could wait it out. Her pain rapidly and significantly increased, and Dena realized that she couldn’t just “tough it out” and avoid an ER visit, so she and Ryan went to BarnesJewish Hospital, a teaching facility in St. Louis. On her way to the ER, although uncomfortable about asking for help and making needs public, Dena felt the Holy Spirit prod her, saying “now is not the time to build walls.” So she scrolled through her phone contacts updating her friends
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about her situation and asking for prayers. She texted: "Please pray for me...I am headed to the ER." After a short check-in, Dena went to an exam room, but she did not see the doctor for over 7 hours. After some diagnostic testing determined that she did have a large kidney stone, surgery was scheduled for two days later. Sometime later, however, the doctor returned with word that Dena needed to have surgery that day. Dena has no memory of this, but her husband Ryan was at her side. At one point, Dena woke suddenly with a great weight on her heart, and her lungs filling with fluid. Her blood pressure dropped critically. Desperate to help her, Ryan ran out into the hall screaming for a doctor. There were none nearby and none were answering the phone calls made by the nurses. Suddenly, a doctor wearing a backpack and street shoes came walking down the hall. Rushing into the room, he threw down his backpack and Dena remembers him shouting the words, “This patient is septic!” When Dena next opened her eyes, she was confused. She was intubated with her arms strapped to a bed and filled with IVs. The backpack hurling doctor’s assessment was spot on. Dena was losing
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a fight with an unknown infection and her organs were shutting down. The emergency surgery to remove the kidney stone took just under 8 minutes but Dena remained in surgery for another hour and 20 minutes while the doctors struggled to keep her body alive. Although her body had been near the edge of death, the body of Jesus was living and active beyond anything that Dena and her family had ever experienced. Dena had listened to the Spirit in the ER telling her not to build walls and had asked for prayers. As she blinked in and out of sleep in her recovery, she became aware of these things: Ryan: As soon as Dena was rushed into surgery, Ryan went to a waiting room. After Dena’s surgery, all he knew from a brief update was that the bulk of the one-and-a-halfhour surgery was spent trying to keep Dena alive. Ryan was told that someone would be in to talk to him soon, but he was left in the waiting room for a long time. No one returned with an update or to tell him where they had taken her for recovery. He had never felt as helpless in his life as he did in those moments. All he could do was pray and lift Dena up to God saying, “God, she is yours, I can’t do anything, please save her.” Ryan also began receiving texts from so many of the people Dena reached out to from the ER. They were praying for her as well and he felt like he wasn’t alone.
Eventually, Ryan set out to find her. In such a large hospital, it took him some time to actually locate her in the Intensive Care Unit. Because of the critical nature of the care there, he couldn’t get in to see Dena right away, and so in the waiting room he met another family whose loved one was also in the Unit. They filled him in on visitation rules, but more importantly, Ryan and the family prayed for each other and for Dena. Once Ryan was allowed to visit her, he found her to be nearly unrecognizable, having turned a shade of purple and gaining over 45 pounds of fluid on her naturally thin frame. Ryan kissed his wife on the forehead and prayed over her. Meanwhile, his phone was active with texts of prayer and offers to help and take care of family. Since some people did not realize that Dena was in St. Louis, Ryan got several notifications that friends were in route to hospitals at home in Loveland to offer assistance.
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Mark and Lisa: When Dena’s friends and coworkers got the news, they began praying for Dena and offered to help in any way. Before they flew back to California, they stopped by Barnes-Jewish. In what they described as an almost “angelic experience,” they were quickly led to her room as everyone seemed to know exactly where to direct them. Lisa immediately felt the Holy Spirit’s peace when she entered the room, although there was nothing about Dena’s body that reflected peace at the moment. The couple prayed about whether or not to travel home to California. Mark left to walk off some of the intensity while Lisa stayed in Dena’s room and prayed. Since Dena’s arms were hooked up to IVs and she was intubated, her hands were gloved and restrained for safety. The nurses removed Dena’s glove so that Lisa could hold Dena’s hand while Lisa prayed for her. Lisa prayed and Dena squeezed Lisa’s hand. While praying, Lisa felt assurance from God that Dena was going to be okay and so she Mark returned to California. Shelly Dena had recently reconnected with a good friend, Shelly. Shelly did not consider herself a person of faith. Shelly is a person of logic and reason and so faith in a supernatural God did not come easy. This had been the conversation topic during many of the walks these friends took together. Being a statistics professor, Dena understood the tension between logic, reason, and faith. She had shared some books with Shelly that had been helpful in her own journey. So when Shelly supernaturally located Dena in one out of the 34 hospitals in St. Louis, not to
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mention the two Barnes-Jewish campuses, it was surprise blessing to both women. Dena woke to find her friend from Berthoud standing in her little room in the ICU. Shelly brought Dena’s books to her hoping that she might find comfort in them. Shelly had read Dena’s text from the ER on Friday night and was overcome with the strong feeling that she should go and help. Shelly said that while she had said prayers in the past, Dena’s plea and strong need caused her to pray with purpose. Shelly stayed in the hotel adjacent to the hospital and made herself available to her friend. Dena’s condition improved at an unusually rapid pace that day. In fact, the doctors said any improvement at all was unexplainable. She was extubated the day following surgery, which was completely unanticipated. An Underground Prayer Group When Dena was transferred out of ICU to a hospital room, she was introduced to a whole new group of care providers. One of her nurses not only already knew about her case, but also began to cry when she greeted Dena. Ordinarily Dena would have been on this nurse’s floor after surgery, but since Dena had been in the ICU, the nurse followed Dena’s progress via her chart. This nurse had been praying for Dena. And she was not alone. She had been joined by two other nurses and a
young physician who was present during her surgery. The Backpack Doctor Neither Dena nor her husband had seen or spoken to the doctor who threw his backpack to the floor to come to Dena’s aid and had her rushed to surgery. Dena and Ryan were so pleased when he stopped in to check on her. Dena found his checkup comforting and amazing. It was a spiritual one! He asked Dena and Ryan whether they
believed in God and more specifically if they were Christians. He felt Dena had been led to Barnes-Jewish for a reason, since as a teaching hospital it was one of the very few places equipped to understand and treat Dena’s condition. As he left the room, he proclaimed “our God is great!” Dena didn’t see him again, and despite their best efforts to identify this backpack flinging, testifying life-saver, they were unable to do so. He did not have a name tag and his name was not listed on Dena’s medical records among the two pages of medical providers. He was actually listed as “DOCTOR UNKNOWN.” Connecting Hearts Summer 2016 31
On the trail Miraculous! At least that is what the medical care providers proclaimed when Dena was discharged for home less than a week from the day she walked into the ER. And why shouldn’t the work of God be called such? Dena had opened herself to trust God to overcome her fears. She listened to the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit to be connected to the body of Jesus. In obedience to promptings by God, she lowered her walls of false humility and asked for help from God and His Body. Jesus’ body walked into Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis to visit Dena. (He no doubt knows the place like the back of His scarred hand. He’s there all the time!) He used his hands, feet, mouth and heart in his Church to minister to and bring about blessing for Dena, and blessings for those He used. Dena knows that these events are only part of a journey with God. She is thankful that she took those first difficult steps to trust Him over her own insecurity and to ask, seek and knock. She is still trying to fully realize the impact of the little and the big acts of obedience, and the blessing given by God to her and her family as well as all of those, named and unnamed, who were part of that blessing. Dena is working to record her journey. Hopefully, we will see it in print one day soon! In the truthful words of “DOCTOR UNKNOWN,” “Our God is great!”♥
Ballagh family photo credit: Elayne Woods, elaynewoodsphotography.zenfolio.com/ about.html
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Financial Fitness By Carol Peterson
Well, once again, Colorado went from snow to 90⁰ within a week. So much for being able to ease our way into warm weather activities and those summer clothes that seem to have shrunk during the winter. The nice thing is that we can get outside and get healthy!
1. Written cash flow plan – The foundation of any financial plan is a budget. Everyone, no matter your income or age, must do a monthly cash flow plan. It empowers you and lets you control your money, rather than your money controlling you.
This issue, I want to talk about a healthy financial plan. Most of us never had parents or mentors that taught us about personal money management. What are the important parts of a healthy financial plan? I’ll share with you the major components and what they might mean to you.
2. A will or estate plan – If you love your family, you will do this! A lawyer once said it this way, “If you hate your kids and spouse, don’t do a will.”
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3. Debt reduction plan – God never blessed anyone by using debt. Cut up your credit cards, pay off student loans and pay off your mortgage as soon as possible.
Doing this will create more opportunities and freedom for you and your family. 4. Emergency Fund – Have a money market account with 3 to 6 months of expenses that you don’t touch. Every 3 to 7 years your family will have an unplanned event that will cost money. Do not use a credit card for emergencies. The last thing you want to do in an emergency is to go into debt! 5. Retirement Saving – Start now! 6. College Funding 7. Charitable Giving – Be a part of something bigger than yourself. Practice being a systematic and outrageous giver. 8. Teach your children – Talk to your kids about college, money, giving and your will/estate plan. 9. Insurances – Make sure you have the following in place: a) Life b) Health c) Disability d) Auto e) Homeowner’s or Renter’s f) Long-Term Care g) Identity Theft None of these items happen quickly. Discuss them with a spouse or mentor and check off the ones you have completed. Make a plan to start on the ones you don’t yet have. Like anyone trying to get healthy, just start!♥
Proverbs 21:5 "The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty, but those of everyone who is hasty, surely to poverty."
Carol Peterson Dave Ramsey Trained Financial Coach
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“You Can Be Sure!” Thank you for the time you’ve spent reading through Connecting Hearts. The articles you have read may have produced some thought-provoking questions for you. Maybe you have some questions about following Jesus. And do you know what? God welcomes your questions. In fact He desires to answer them to draw you even closer to His heart. God doesn’t want you to live in uncertainty or confusion concerning matters of your relationship with Him. In fact, He desires for you to know Him in an intimate, loving and vital way and to have full assurance that you are His child by faith in His Son Jesus and that you will spend eternity in Heaven. Nothing...nothing can change that. His love is eternal. John 17:3 “And this is real and eternal life: That they know You, the One and Only true God and Jesus Christ, whom You sent.” 1 John 5:11-13 “This is the testimony in essence: God gave us eternal life; the life is in His Son. So, whoever has the Son has life; whoever rejects the Son, rejects life. My purpose in writing is simply this: that you who believe in God’s Son will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have eternal life, the reality and not the illusion.” Perhaps, as you have sat and listened to a sermon, you have heard references to “being a Christian,” “being saved,” or “born again.” Maybe you have wondered how they can be so sure about this subject. Or maybe you are wondering if your baptism as an infant and church attendance makes you a Christian. You may believe being a good person or doing good things earns you a ticket to Heaven. It is vital that you understand that it is only through Jesus and the work He accomplished on the Cross, that can we accept His offer of eternal life. Eternal life doesn’t depend on us, but rather on Jesus and our belief that He is God.
Following are some questions and answers that we pray will help you in your journey towards eternal life and a right relationship with Him who loves you most ~ Jesus.
1. What does it mean to be a Christian? God created mankind to enjoy a perfect, unbroken relationship with Him. In the events of Genesis 3:1-19, our ancestors, Adam and Eve, broke that fellowship by disobedience to the one thing God told them
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not to do. They ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. This disobedience is called “sin.” This original sin resulted in a curse upon the earth and every descendant (that’s you and me) of Adam and Eve have this upon us. Romans 5:12 “You know the story of how Adam landed us in the dilemma we are in – first sin, then death, and no one is exempt from either sin or death.”
Because of this sin curse, death entered mankind’s life experience.
Romans 3:22 -24 “The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in Him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity He put us in right standing with Himself ~ A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where He always wanted us to be. And He did it by means of Jesus.”
Jesus is God’s remedy for our sin curse. The Pure Gift ~ Jesus. Romans 6:22 & 23 “But now that you’ve found you don’t have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise! A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way! Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death. But God’s gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master.”
You don’t have to listen to nagging doubts about your eternal relationship with Jesus anymore.
Since it is impossible to live a perfect life with our human nature to sin, Jesus took on human flesh and came to live among us. He lived a perfect, sinless life and is our example. Jesus gave up His life freely to
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pay the debt we owed for the sin we have committed and paved the way for us to restore our relationship with God. A Christian is one who has made a conscious act of faith to accept Christ’s payment for their sin debt, recognizing that, apart from His redemptive sacrifice, they are separated from God. John 3:16-18 “This is how much God loved the world: He gave His Son, His One and Only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in Him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending His Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in Him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust Him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-akind Son of God when introduced to Him.”
A person’s sins are either upon themselves or upon Jesus. It’s everyone’s choice to make. 2. What does it mean to be “saved?” Being “saved” means that after a person has accepted Christ’s offer of salvation and has been born into God’s family by faith in Jesus, they are “saved” from eternal separation from God ~ Hell. Romans 10: 9 & 10 “Say the welcoming word to God – ‘Jesus is my Master’ – embracing, body and soul, God’s work of doing in us what He did in raising Jesus from the dead. That’s it. You’re not ‘doing’ anything; you’re simply calling out to God, trusting Him to do it for you. That’s salvation. With your whole being you embrace God setting things right, and then you say it, right out loud: ‘God has set everything right between Him and me!’”
God has set everything right for you and me through Jesus.
3. What does it mean to be “born again?” After you have acknowledged your sins, named and confessed them to God, the next step is to invite Christ into your heart. Jesus gives His Holy Spirit to those who give their lives to Him. It is His Spirit that lives within us and causes us to be “born again.” !3
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John 3:5-8 Jesus said, “You’re not listening. Let Me say it again. Unless a person submits to this original creation - the ‘windhovering-over-the-water’ creation, the invisible moving the visible, a baptism into a new life – it’s not possible to enter God’s kingdom. When you look at a baby, it’s just that: a body you can look at and touch. But the person who takes shape within is formed by something you can’t see and touch – the Spirit – and becomes a living spirit.” “So don’t be so surprised that you have to be ‘born from above’ – out of this world, so to speak. You know well enough how the wind blows this way and that. You hear it rustling through the trees, but you have no idea where it comes from or where it is headed next. That’s the way it is with everyone ‘born from above’ by the wind of God, the Spirit of God.”
God is the invisible moving the visible. Romans 8: 9-11 “But if God Himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of Him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won’t know what we’re talking about. But for you who welcome Him, in whom He dwells – even though you still experience all the limitations of sin – you yourself experience life on God’s terms. It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive – and – present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, He’ll do the same thing in you (and He does, surely as He did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With His Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s.”
This powerful invisible God dwells within those who call Jesus their own.
4. Why can’t I earn eternal life by being a decent person and by doing good things? Scripture states that eternal life in heaven is a gift that we can in no way earn or merit. It is absolutely free. If you were given a gift by a friend and then given a bill to cover its cost, it would no longer be a gift. Man’s greatest works are mere “filthy rags” compared to God’s holiness and standards of righteousness; therefore, it is impossible for us to buy our way into heaven under our own merit.
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Isaiah 64:6 “We’re all sin-infected, sin-contaminated. Our best efforts are as grease-stained rags.”
Our efforts are not enough. God’s efforts through His Son Jesus are enough!
Ephesians 2:7-10 “Now Christ has us where He wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all His idea and all His work. All we do is trust Him enough to let Him do it. Its God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join Him in the work He does, the good work He had gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.”
When we give the control of our lives over to Jesus, He begins showering us with His grace and kindness for eternity.
5. Can I know for certain that I will spend eternity in Heaven with God? Just as we cannot earn our way into heaven, we cannot undo the work of Christ. Our “sin debt” was paid in full! The ”keeping” is as much God’s work as the “saving.” John 10:27-30 “My sheep recognize My voice. I know them, and they follow Me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand. The Father who put them under my care is so much greater that the Destroyer and Thief. No one could ever get them away from Him. I and the Father are one heart and mind.”
No one can snatch you out of God’s Eternal Hand,
When you invite Jesus into your heart and life, you receive His Holy Spirit and He lives within your spirit, salvation from condemnation to Hell, assurance of eternal life in Heaven and membership in His family! No better offer exists in all of time and the universe. Are you ready to take God at His Word and accept His Son’s offer of forgiveness and eternal life?
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If you would like to invite Jesus into your heart, prayer this simple prayer: “Jesus, I confess that I am a sinner. Please forgive me for my sins. I know I cannot save myself by my own efforts or goodness and I am eternally lost unless You save me. Thank You for carrying my sins upon the cross and giving Your perfect life in exchange for my imperfect one. Cleanse me with Your precious blood. Come into my heart and life to be my Savior and Lord. I thank You now for the gift of eternal life with You and the Father in Heaven. I thank You for giving me Your Holy Spirit to live in me and mark me as Your child forever. Amen.”
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