Methodist Message: February 2018

Vol 120 No 2 • FEB 2018

inside

this issue...

ISSN 0129-6868 MCI (P) 019/11/2017

Welcoming new leaders Two Methodist schools, and TTC page 10

Get your copy: The Book of Discipline 2017 edition page 15

message.methodist.org.sg

Recognising abuse A love gone wrong page 20

COMING UP

Begin your Lent journey with The Giving Methodist

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he Giving Methodist aims to galvanise all Methodists to come together to perform acts of mercy and give generously in benefit of the poor, in need, distressed, and elderly sick. This season of Lent, join our campaign and use the gifts you have been given to honour Christ.

“Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.”

Give time: Join a community blessing of a Methodist church, or volunteer at an MWS centre Choose from over 200 social concerns activities run by Methodist churches and Methodist Welfare Services (MWS) centres. The activities are carefully selected to be simple and flexible for everyone to participate in for a short, limited time. No experience or special skills are needed for most of the activities. You can sign up for as many activities as your schedule allows. Feel free to bring friends or family along to join you on this meaningful journey.

Give a donation: Make an impact to lives every day, by giving $1 a day Your gift can create change in the lives of over 9,000 disadvantaged and distressed families and individuals who receive help through 20 MWS centres and programmes. We are appealing for either a regular contribution of $1 a day ($30 monthly); a one-time donation of $365; or any amount that you can give. You can also start a fundraising campaign on giving.sg for MWS. God loves a cheerful giver.

Give your voice: Use your voice, words, and social networks to give back Help us spread the awareness of TGM among your church friends and family in social media or through your daily interactions.

Pray and intercede for the beneficiaries and social concerns ministries of the Church. You can download resources from the TGM website thegivingmethodist.sg and share them on your online social networks like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, emailing or rallying your cell group and church personally. n

– Romans 12:6-8

About The Giving Methodist Organisers: The Methodist Church in Singapore, and Methodist Welfare Services Duration: 14 Feb (Wed) – 24 Mar (Sat) 2018 Please visit the event website, thegivingmethodist.sg, to find out more about how you can give time, a donation, and your voice.

Important links • Give Time: thegivingmethodist.sg/give-time • Give A Donation and Fundraise: thegivingmethodist.sg/ give-donation thegivingmethodist.sg tgm@mws.sg TheGivingMethodist #thegivingmethodist #iamtgm

Photos and TGM logo courtesy of Methodist Welfare Services The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version, unless otherwise stated.

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Let us have your views

Editorial Board Adviser and Publisher Dr Anthony Goh Sze Chern, Chairperson, Council on Communications Editor Ms Grace Toh Sub-editor Ms Tan Chiu Ai Editorial Executive Mr Jason Woo

Have something to say or share? Email us at newmm@methodist.org.sg and if appropriate, your contribution could be published.

BISHOP’S MESSAGE

Loving as God loves Bishop Dr Chong Chin Chung was elected Bishop of The Methodist Church in Singapore in 2016. He served as President of the Chinese Annual Conference for two quadrennia from 2008 to 2016.

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same… therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.”

– Matthew 5:44-48 (NKJV)

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eing a disciple of Christ has never been easy. While one only needs to believe to be saved since God’s Son Jesus has accomplished the work of salvation, being His disciple is a life-long challenge, and involves continuous learning for believers over their lifetimes.

Most of us are capable of loving those who are akin to us, who are adorable, or who deserve to be loved, but many will probably find it hard to love those they have no connections with, or who are not considered lovable.

Confucius regarded loving the unlovable and returning good for evil to be unachievable. This is evident from the idiom contained in his work, Analects: “Meet wrongdoing with justice and repay kindness with kindness”. This seems to be common sense.

Repaying evil with good is not something the ordinary man is capable of, as it belongs in the realm of faith and religion, and in order to do that, one must have noble ideals and religious convictions, or a strong urge to fulfil a compelling obligation.

Even then, for the act to be unaffected and unforced, one would likely need to have the attitude and mindset of Jesus.

The example that Jesus set was forgiving His enemies who had persecuted Him. Even when He was in agony on the cross, He prayed to His Father to forgive all who plotted against Him. This was an expression of incomparable love. The sacrifice Jesus made was also for those who had caused His death. Only God can accomplish this and it is something few men, if any, are able to do.

This is not to say that we believers do not have to follow the example of Jesus, but it is definitely a matter of willingness rather than ability.

God made us in His likeness, and it is because of this that Jesus reminds His followers: “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:44-45, NKJV) The Beatitudes presented in Christ’s Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7 describe character attributes that His disciples are meant to take on. These are Christ’s specifications of what every disciple ought to be like, and it is our responsibility to pursue them all. Jesus does not demand these to be achieved within any specific timeframe, for this is impossibly hard to do with man’s fallen nature, unless Jesus has transformed our depraved lives.

Christ reminds His disciples to continually strive to “be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48, NKJV) Let us start simply today, encouraging each other to press on in a life-long endeavour to be more like children of God, loving as He loves. n Picture by PHOTOCREO Michal Bednarek/Bigstock.com METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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CHURCH PROFILE

Hakka MC:

Holding fast to God’s unique calling The Rev Nathanael Chew Eng Pin is the Pastor-in-Charge of Hakka Methodist Church.

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rom the early days of ministry among the Chinese immigrants in Singapore since 1885, the locus of the work, particularly among the Hokkien people, was around Telok Ayer Street. This led to the construction of the first Chinese Methodist Church there.

Further inroads to the Chinese community were also established through the setting up of schools such as Anglo-Chinese School and Anglo-Chinese Girls’ School (the predecessor of the Fairfield Methodist schools). Subsequently, other groups began their own ministries and established churches with services in their dialects, including Foochow, Hinghwa, and Hakka, to minister to immigrants from China, Malaya, and more.

Hakka Methodist Church (Hakka MC), as its name suggests, was one of the churches established to reach out to the Hakka community. Officially established as a Local Conference in 1949, our church’s roots can be traced even further back to 1911 when a local Hakka Church met near a Hakka cemetery in Sung Long San (Holland Road).

Today, the sturdy growth of the Hakka MC family continues to

be represented by more than 500 members across three different congregations – Chinese, English, and of course, Hakka. We press on in our vision and mission, to reach out to the Hakka community and to draw all to Jesus Christ.

In recent years, we have also been actively reaching out to the community in Whampoa as our church’s key ministry to the people around us, providing activities like weekly morning exercise programmes for both young and old, tuition programmes for children and youth, and more significantly, partnering Methodist Welfare Services in the Family Development Programme – a programme which seeks to help lowincome families – in Whampoa.

However, having served as a pastor in Hakka MC for a total of five years now (three as an associate pastor and two as the Pastor-in-Charge), I would have to say that our Hakka ministry is undoubtedly unique.

According to a 2010 census, the Hakka people in Singapore form the fourth-largest Chinese dialect group in the country, numbering more than 230,000. But while there are many worship services in various churches around the country for other major dialect groups like Hokkien, Teochew, and Cantonese, there is only one worship service in the whole of Singapore that is conducted entirely in the Hakka dialect.

Because of this, the Hakka MC family has, through the generations, firmly believed in our unique calling to the Hakka community in Singapore. Headed passionately by our Hakka Ministry Director,

Hakka Methodist Church (Chinese Annual Conference) 1B Evelyn Rd Singapore 309298 Saturday Services: 5 p.m. Hakka Sunday Services: 9 a.m. Mandarin, 11 a.m. English Contact us: Website: hakkamc.org.sg Phone:v6256-2225

We continue our series of profiling local churches from our three Annual Conferences of The Methodist Church in Singapore. As we come to have a better understanding of each other’s history and ministry, we may discover more opportunities to forge cross-church partnerships and collaborations.

Mr Chin Yan Hiong, the church will always strive relentlessly to do all we can, with complete reliance on God’s guidance and providence, to bring the message of God’s love and the Gospel to all Hakka people in Singapore, as long as the Lord allows us to.

And as the current Pastor-in-Charge, I have seen how this heart for the Hakka community over the years reflects the greater purpose and desire of the body of Christ in Hakka Methodist Church – to continually bring the love of God and His people to all, to those around us here in our own country, and beyond. n Photos courtesy of Hakka Methodist Church

ONE MCS – CAC HIGHLIGHT

Bringing the true meaning of Christmas to Yishun Yvonne Huang is a member of Yishun Methodist Mission. This article was submitted by the Chinese Annual Conference President’s Office.

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od aligned our hearts and minds to His as we came together to share His unconditional love with people at the ‘Christmas Carnival @ Nee Soon South’ in December 2017. Looking back, we recognise that our Father God led us on a faith journey where we saw His providence and faithfulness, as we stepped out to run this Carnival with a mere $7,000 budget, but ended up having close to $120,000 to utilise.

In the process, Yishun Methodist Mission (YMM) has been enriched and encouraged by partnerships from churches including Evangel Family Church, Lutheran Christian Church, Victory Family Centre, Wesley Methodist Church, Charis Methodist Church, Grace Methodist Church, Toa Payoh Methodist Church, and Ang Mo Kio Methodist Church.

Observed Mr Sherman Yeo: “The Christmas Carnival brought the community together for a time of celebration and thanksgiving. This inaugural event is significant as it leveraged on the different strengths of the cell groups and the resulting teamwork is vital as we seek to advance the Kingdom of God as One Body.”

The Christmas Carnival marked the end of our five-year plan to bless the community in Yishun. A 635-strong group of carollers (breaking the local record set in the Singapore Book of Records) was on hand to fill the air with the truth of Christmas. A 10-metre-tall Christmas tree, with its star shining brightly from 16-28 Dec 2017, also served to remind passers-by of Jesus, the Light of the World.

Shared Neo Yushan: “As I stood under the 10-metre-tall Christmas tree, I was in awe and my heart was filled with thanksgiving, as I realised it was only through the grace of God that this Christmas carnival could take place.

I witnessed abundant blessings from our Father God! My prayer is that His name continues to be lifted high in Yishun.”

The Carnival was indeed a day of positive experiences felt by many as we tangibly sowed seeds of love through actions – embodying the tagline of the event: “Yishun Cares, Yishun Shares, I Love Yishun.”

Said Ms Pamela Soh: “For me, the event was not so much about showcasing my face-painting, but really to show God’s love to the people of Yishun in creative and concrete ways. I feel that’s what sharing the joy of Christmas is about – sharing God’s love with no strings attached, to show people the noncommercialised reason for Christmas.”

Ms Simonne Hu agreed: “This carnival was an avenue for YMM to manifest God’s love and care to the neighbourhood, and to attract them to Jesus Christ.”

Sherman added: “The Christmas Carnival left a positive impression on members of the public, with several of them commenting, ‘Good job; well done,’ and asking if there will be another carnival the following year!” n

Er Dr Lee Bee Wah (in white pants), Bishop Dr Chong Chin Chung (in purple shirt), the Rev Lau Chong Yaw (far right), and 635 carollers cheering as they broke the record for the largest-ever outdoor carolling event.

Above photo courtesy of Yishun Methodist Mission; background photo by Moses Goh

METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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YOU & YOUR FAMILY

Love of a lifetime: Two crucial factors Benny Bong has been a family and marital therapist for more than 30 years, and is a certified work-life consultant. He was the first recipient of the AWARE Hero Award in 2011 and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

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ecently, I have been reminded of how difficult it is to love and accept others unconditionally.

Realistically, there may be only a handful of individuals whom we can claim to accept in spite of their failings. Even then, we may find our patience tested to the limits when these few do disappoint us. Yet, although the capacity to love unconditionally and be loved unconditionally is difficult (and some may say impossible), it is crucial to our very existence!

Over a span of two weeks, I met four couples who coincidentally were grappling with similar issues. They had either called off marriage plans at the eleventh hour, or were newlyweds with dissatisfied spouses who had unilaterally walked out of the marital home.

The points where these relationships came to grief are many. Reasons cited included frequent conflicts where harsh and hurtful things were said, little real attention – much less affection – paid to each other, few common interests, and one even complained about her spouse’s lack of ambition and drive in his career.

As a Marital Therapist for over 30 years, I found these reasons different from the usual ones that are often associated with a marital breakdown: being wed to a cruel spouse, a compulsive gambler, a serial philanderer, or an alcoholic. By contrast, what these young couples had to face was a set of vastly different issues.

Does this point to couples these days having less ‘staying power’, deciding to quit and leave when the going gets tough? Is the word ‘commitment’ being replaced by relationships that are ‘convenient’? Or perhaps, do couples these days have access to more life choices, and are more prepared to assert themselves? Has the concept of love changed now that marital vows are no longer deemed binding for life?

Even with the increasing number of marriages failing, it is worth noting that being married still appears to be a desired state by many. Research has also demonstrated that being in a happy marriage has definite emotional and mental health benefits. So for some, the quest for a happy life is not only to be married, but just as importantly, to stay happily married.

My work has allowed me to observe a couple of factors that many people hope to see in their life partners and in their relationship, without which they are left feeling dissatisfied.

Picture by Interstid/Bigstock.com

One of these critical factors is trying to work at loving each other unconditionally. This means not only loving a person when it is easy, or when the spouse is deserving of such affection. Thus the key phrase here is ‘trying to work’, as it involves effort and hard work. Ironically, when one works hard at a relationship, it becomes more valued and something to be treasured. Admittedly, to do this monumental task requires the wisdom of Solomon, the patience of Job, and the compassion of Christ.

A second critical piece is to remain faithful to one’s love. Again, it is not because there is no other person better than your spouse, nor is it based on your spouse’s ability to meet your needs. Rather, it is based on your commitment to the relationship.

This means forsaking all distractions. But this commitment should not be a grudging one; it also involves being committed to finding joy and fulfilment with one’s marriage.

Interestingly, these two features of unconditional love and unwavering commitment are also true of the nature of God’s love for us.

If this is how our Lord loves us, should we not also attempt to love others as He loves?

As we struggle to love as God does, may it also deepen our appreciation of His love for us. And as we realise our inability to love unconditionally, may we draw on the grace and strength of the Great Author and Perfecter of Love. n

WELFARE SERVICES

Seven ways to bless others with your time By the Methodist Welfare Services Communications Team

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or the year ahead, how would you like to devote some time to an act of mercy, in gratitude to Christ? No matter what your abilities or talents are, you can find a meaningful way to share them with the less fortunate. As part of ‘The Giving Methodist’ (TGM) campaign, Methodists can give their time through any of the 200-plus volunteering opportunities available at various Methodist Welfare Services (MWS) centres.

Scheduled from 14 Feb (Wed) to 24 Mar (Sat) 2018, these activities are suitable for any age group, skill set, or interest. You may choose to register individually or as a group with your family, friends, cell group, or church groups. The main categories are: Fun and sun Gather 10 to 30 family members and friends to host a party or mini-carnival for the homeless and destitute residents of MWS Christalite Methodist Home. You may create your own game booths, food stands, and entertainment. Smaller groups of volunteers may also plan short visits to interact and play games with the residents of MWS Nursing Home – Yew Tee. MWS Bethany Nursing Home – Choa Chu Kang would also appreciate your help in facilitating games, singing along, and helping out during tea breaks at its regular Hope Kee sessions.

Reminiscence therapy With Chinese New Year and Easter around the corner, it is the perfect time to participate in events that take the elderly down memory lane. You can plan a festival celebration, help to put up decorations, or hold a drama or musical performance for the old folks of any of our eldercare centres, including MWS Nursing Home – Yew Tee, MWS Bethany Nursing Home – Choa Chu Kang, and MWS Christalite Methodist Home.

Imagine and create Share your love for a hobby with lonely seniors at MWS Senior Activity Centre – Golden Lily @ Pasir Ris. Whether it is floral arrangement, crafting, painting, or colouring, the centre welcomes volunteers to conduct basic classes and connect with its members.

Share your expertise If you are a ukulele player, MWS Senior Activity Centre – GreenTops @ Sims Place, which has an active hobby group, would love to have you ‘jam’ and sing with them, or even teach them to play the instrument. Other centres with ukulele member hobby groups include MWS Senior Activity Centre – Golden Lily @ Pasir Ris and MWS Charis ACE – Geylang East.

Ms Ivy Seetow (right) from Sengkang Methodist Church volunteers at MWS Senior Activity Centre – Fernvale Rivergrove, where she conducts handicraft, cooking, and baking lessons.

Keep it movin’ Nothing beats a round of morning exercise. If you are physically fit, stretch your limbs by helping to wheel residents of MWS Bethany Nursing Home – Choa Chu Kang out to a nearby community space for their rehabilitative exercise classes. For something a little more interactive, join the Sports Fiesta activity at MWS Nursing Home – Yew Tee, where you will assist therapists with exercises and games.

Home improvement Our centres need help with ad-hoc maintenance and cleaning. If you, your church, or your company can spare a few hours to do repairs, painting, spring-cleaning, or some general sprucing up, please approach us to plan your own activity.

Up close and personal If you feel that you do not have specific hobbies or talents to contribute, you can offer the gift of your friendship to those who need it. Sign up as a befriender with MWS

Temasek International staff held a lively carnival for the residents of MWS Bethany Nursing Home – Choa Chu Kang.

Christalite Methodist Home for simple ‘chitchat’ sessions or to take residents out for a meal.

Alternatively, participate in a coffee shop outing on Monday afternoons to give the ill and frail elderly of MWS Nursing Home – Yew Tee a small treat. n

◆ To browse a full list of activities and register as a volunteer, visit thegivingmethodist.sg/give-time. ◆ For enquiries, contact us at tgm@mws.sg. ◆ To stay abreast of TGM updates, please visit and ‘Like’ us at facebook.com/TheGivingMethodist. ◆ To find out more about MWS centres and programmes, go to www.mws.sg.

Photos courtesy of the Methodist Welfare Services METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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HOME

Fraternity connections with Malaysian Methodists Henry Tan is the Associate Lay Leader of Trinity Annual Conference of The Methodist Church in Singapore, and a member of Wesley Methodist Church.

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rom 25-27 Nov 2017, I had the privilege of attending the 42nd Session of Trinity Annual Conference (TRAC) Malaysia, which took place at the Port Dickson Methodist Centre, one of three resort centres owned by the Methodist Church in Malaysia (MCM). Together with the Rev Derrick Lau, we represented and brought greetings on behalf of TRAC Singapore to our Malaysian Methodist brothers and sisters.

At the Session, we had the opportunity of taking a photograph with Bishop Dr Ong Hwai Teik of

the MCM, and TRAC Malaysia President, the Rev T. Jeyakumar. We also enjoyed opportunities to fellowship with other delegates, such as TRAC Malaysia’s Lay Leader, Datin Judy Chin.

Observing the Session, I was struck by the hospitality of our hosts, and the difference in conducting discussions. I also came to realise the challenges for pastoral staff, given Malaysia’s geographical size. Under the itinerant system, a pastor might need to move to another town or city with an appointment change, unlike Singapore which is much smaller.

Although TRAC Malaysia may be smaller than TRAC Singapore, the challenges faced are different. The topic of insurance for possible abduction of pastors was discussed,

From left: The Rev Derrick Lau, Bishop Dr Ong Hwai Teik, Mr Henry Tan, and Henry’s wife Geok Cheng.

bringing home the reality of challenges in their ministry. TRAC Singapore’s offer of help with disaster relief for the recent Penang floods was received with great gratitude.

I was deeply blessed by and learnt a lot from this visit, and extend my prayers and well-wishes to our TRAC Malaysia fraternity. n Photo courtesy of Henry Tan

2018 MAY 20 & 24

Just As We Are:

God’s Call for Families SAVE THE DATE! Mark your calendars for our yearly Aldersgate SG Sunday Celebration and Lecture, to be held on 20 and 24 May this year, themed “Just As We Are: God’s Call For Families”. Registration details to be released soon!

20 MAY | 5:00 P.M. Aldersgate Sunday Celebration

Special call for church choirs: Join your voices as one combined Methodist chorus to bless congregants at the Aldersgate Sunday Celebration on 20 May 2018! Visit tinyurl.com/aldersgatesg2018 for more details and to sign up by 28 Feb 2018.

24 MAY | 7:45 P.M. Aldersgate Lecture Paya Lebar Methodist Church

MISSIONS

God grants growth at Sundermeier Home Rudy Wong is a missionary with the Methodist Missions Society (MMS) serving in Timor-Leste. His ministry focuses on Community Development through agriculture, health and nutrition. His home church is Aldersgate Methodist Church.

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undermeier Home is located in a cool, green valley nestled between the mountains of Ermera District in Timor-Leste. Located near the district’s only secondary school, it enables young boys and girls from remote villages to finish their education. These are children who are poor and stay very far from their school. The Home offers a safe and healthy ‘home away from home’ for students between the ages of 15 and 18.

As we enter the third year of operations, it seems timely to reflect on what has been achieved so far, and what lies ahead in this ministry journey.

Methodist Missions Society (MMS) missionaries Joseph and Grace Mannar from Bedok Methodist Church have been providing care and supervision for these students since the Home opened in 2016. Most parents would agree that raising a teenager presents a unique set of challenges, so just imagine having 30 of them under one roof at the same time!

After raising three sons of their own, the Mannars left the comforts of Singapore to offer love, patience, and guidance to these Timorese youths.

Known affectionately as “Papa Joe” and “Mama Grace”, they equip the students through Bible study, house worship, and training in basic life skills.

Regular visits by Methodist church teams, including those from the TRACKERS programme, supplement the academic, social, and spiritual instruction at the Home, ensuring holistic development of the youths.

Over the past year, there were several occasions when disruptions to the town water supply caused severe shortages of water for bathing, drinking, and food preparation at the Home. By God’s grace, MMS received a donation from a member of the Methodist community in Singapore that enabled us to dig a well and install a water pump (pic above right). The students now enjoy a bountiful supply of clean, fresh water sufficient to meet all their daily needs!

In addition to limited water supply in many areas, Timorese suffer from one of the highest rates of malnutrition in the world. This negatively affects their health and ability to concentrate and develop academically. As an MMS missionary from Aldersgate Methodist Church, I started the ‘Good Soil Project’ at Sundermeier Home to help address this situation.

Over the past year, I have been teaching the students Biblical principles of farming, along with practical techniques such as using organic mulch in composting, and returning nutrients to the soil through crop rotation.

With assistance from Ms Susan Eng from All Saints Presbyterian Church in Singapore, the students and I are turning land at the Home into a fertile farm (pic above left). The fruits and vegetables we grow provide better nutrition and help make this ministry more financially sustainable.

As we’ve journeyed with these youths, we can see the hand of God at work within them. Last year, a local church in Dili collaborated with MMS missionaries to conduct a weekend camp for children at Sundermeier Home. The resident students actively supported the event by leading sports and other programmes for the children.

Recently, two of the resident students successfully graduated from secondary school and are preparing for the next chapter in their lives. Tommy has enrolled in a university in Dili, and Atoy is planning to pursue his studies as soon as he saves enough money for tuition. Both continue to regularly attend

church and grow in their faith. With God’s help and provision, we will reach out to more families through our agricultural training and medical outreach.

What’s next? In 2019, we plan to increase the student intake to 40 boys and girls. The primary goal will continue to be discipling and equipping these students to become mature Christians, productive citizens, and future leaders. With the increased operating costs, we prayerfully seek your support through our MMS Student Sponsorship Scheme (SSS). Your contribution will go a long way in helping these children.

Please pray that Sundermeier Home will shine forth as a beacon of light and hope, reflecting God’s love and grace throughout the community and surrounding villages in Timor-Leste. n

Prayer Requests: u PRAY that the students will develop spiritually, and experience the faithfulness and love of God. u PRAY for our missionaries in Timor-Leste, as they minister to the people.

Make a difference with your donations to the General Fund, Timor-Leste. Donations thus indicated will go towards the Methodist School in Dili and the Sundermeier Home. You may also support a student directly through the MMS Student Sponsorship Scheme (SSS).

Please visit our MMS website at www.mms.org.sg for more information on how you can help.

Photos courtesy of the Methodist Missions Society METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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HOME

Welcoming our new Methodist School Principals

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r Shirleen Chee, Anglo-Chinese Junior College (ACJC). Dr Chee is no stranger to the Methodist schools in Singapore, having served as Principal of Methodist Girls’ School from 2007 to 2013, where she spearheaded the introduction of the school’s Integrated Programme, leading to the International Baccalaureate Diploma.

Previously, she was Principal of Bukit Panjang Government High School from 2003 to 2007.

From 2008 to 2014, she simultaneously served as a member of the Executive Board of the Academy of Principals.

Prior to joining ACJC, Dr Chee was Divisional Director for the Educational Technology Division at the Ministry of Education, where she set the direction for the use of Information and Communications Technology (ICT) in Education.

While she is passionate about her work, she is a strong advocate of leading a holistic and balanced life. Dr Chee is happily married with three children.

She also serves as a Sunday School teacher at Life Bible-Presbyterian Church, and is a doting grandmother to her 15-month-old grandson, Elias.

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r Loo Ming Yaw, Anglo-Chinese School (Barker Road). Mr Loo completed his secondary and tertiary education at Methodist schools, namely ACS (Secondary) and ACJC. He began his teaching career as a Biology tutor at ACJC, and has served as VicePrincipal at ACJC and Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Secondary School. Subsequently, Mr Loo was Principal of Mayflower Secondary School for five years.

He completed his Master’s in Educational Policy and Management at Harvard Graduate School of Education.

He attends and serves at Aldersgate Methodist Church with his wife, Yuet Sim, and son, Samuel. n Photos courtesy of the respective Methodist schools

TTC appoints Methodist as new Vice-Principal

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s Trinity Theological College (TTC) celebrates its 70th Anniversary in 2018, it is also planning for the future. With the continuing mission of TTC as its priority, the Board of Governors has appointed the Rev Dr Edwin Tay as Vice-Principal of TTC, effective from 1 Jan 2018.

Since joining the faculty of TTC in January 2013, the Rev Dr Tay has served as Warden of the Family Residence and the Dean of Students. Prior to joining TTC, he served as Lecturer in Systematic and Historical Theology at the Biblical Graduate School of Theology (BGST). He is also a former staff-worker with the Fellowship of Evangelical Students.

The Rev Dr Tay spent the first 12 years of his formal education at the Anglo-Chinese School (ACS).

He read for the B.A. Degree at the National University of Singapore, majoring in Psychology and Social Work. He first trained in Theology at the BGST, and subsequently pursued postgraduate studies at King’s College, University of London, where he obtained the M.A. Degree in Systematic Theology.

His increasing burden for theological education led to doctoral research at New College, University of Edinburgh, where he was awarded the Ph.D. for his dissertation on the priesthood of Christ.

The Rev Dr Tay is an ordained minister of the Chinese Annual Conference of The Methodist Church in Singapore. He grew up attending Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church.

He is married to Angela, and they have two daughters, Phoebe and Chloe. n Reprinted with permission from Trumpet magazine (Dec 2017), the newsletter of TTC.

HYMNS & SONGS

A hymn ringing in my ears Dr Yeo Teck Beng is a member of Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church.

Follow Me

(YOUTH HYMNS 5-6-7-8, #74) I travelled down a lonely road and no one seemed to care; The burden on my weary back had bowed me to despair, I oft complained to Jesus how folks were treating me, and then I heard Him say so tenderly, “My feet were also weary, upon the Calv’ry road; the cross became so heavy, I fell beneath the load.

Be faithful weary pilgrim, the morning I can see.

Just lift your cross and follow close to Me.” “I work so hard for Jesus,” I often boast and say, “I’ve sacrificed a lot of things to walk the narrow way.

I gave up fame and fortune, I’m worth a lot to Thee,” and then I hear Him gently say to me.

“I left the throne of glory and counted it but loss.

My hands were nailed in anger upon a cruel cross.

But now we’ll make the journey with your hand safe in Mine, So lift your cross and follow close to Me.” Words & Music: Ira F. Stanphill, 1953

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ike any other Sunday morning, I awoke as usual at 6.30 a.m. on 3 Dec 2017, to get ready for worship.

What was unusual about that morning, however, was a tune that was ringing in my ears. It was a familiar tune from a hymn that I loved to sing when I was involved in the Methodist Youth Fellowship (MYF) at my home church many years ago – 43 years to be exact.

Those who were in my ‘cohort’ would recall the Youth Hymns, which came in two volumes: the earlier publication had a blue cover, whereas the second volume had a red cover. I remembered clearly that this beloved hymn was found in the red hymnal.

The hymn tune was still in my head when I led worship, which was the first Sunday of Advent. Then a strange thing happened when the speaker for that Sunday ended his sermon; he shared a recording of that exact hymn! I was dumbfounded when the tune of ‘Follow Me’ sounded throughout the sanctuary – the hymn that had pursued me all morning.

Ira Forest Stanphill composed ‘Follow Me’ in the early 1950s, which makes this hymn less than 60 years old.

However, I believe this 20th century hymn continues to be popular because of the storyline embedded in the lyrics.

In stanza 1, the singer laments the weariness of travelling alone on life’s long pilgrimage with a heavy load (the cross). But the hymn reminds us that our suffering is nothing compared to Jesus’ pain as He walked the road to Calvary and was nailed on the cross for us. The message is comforting and we are urged to press on faithfully.

The second stanza invites the believer to think about what he or she has done in the service of the Lord. At times, we can get carried away easily and even boast about the numerous things we have done for Christ, forsaking fame and fortune to “walk the narrow way”. But the hymn once again humbles us with the words, “I left the throne of glory and counted it but loss...”

The hymn ends with the words of encouragement, “But now we’ll make the journey with your hand safe in Mine. So lift your cross and follow close to Me.” I thank God for putting the hymn in my head on that wonderful Sunday morning, as I am reassured of the presence and care of Jesus who promises to journey with me. n

Picture by dalomo84/Bigstock.com METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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MCS FOCUS: METHODIST SCHOOLS’ FOUNDATION

MSF: In His service, for schools Julie Gan is a member of the Board of Trustees of the Methodist Schools’ Foundation.

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he church-school partnership is a cornerstone for the work that the Methodist Schools’ Foundation (MSF) does. As the MSF aids the Methodist schools, it is done so in the spirit and with the support of the Methodist churches, and serves as an extension of Christian service to touch the lives of children in these schools.

For more than two decades, many hands have come together to do the work of God in this special ministry.

Responsible stewardship Entrusted with the mission of raising funds for all Methodist schools to enable them to achieve excellence, the MSF’s objectives are: to aid in the building and improvement of school buildings and facilities; to fund educational equipment and teaching aids; and to provide educational subsidies, grants, and bursaries to needy students.

Incorporated in 1997 as the Methodist School Buildings Endowment Fund (with an initial kitty of $5 million), its name was later changed to the present Methodist Schools’ Foundation in 2001.

The circumstances that led to the establishment of the MSF were certainly unique. In 1995, the Singapore Tote Board offered to grant all Methodist schools (then numbering 12) some money for Information Technology (IT) and library-related purchases – an offer that the Church deliberated over prayerfully, and subsequently declined.

However, the Rev Dr Isaac Lim and Mr Tan Wah Thong recognised the pressing need of our Methodist schools to begin investing in IT to support education. They pursued other avenues to meet this need, and finally the 20th Session of Trinity Annual Conference in December 1995 saw the in-principle approval for the establishment of an endowment fund for the Methodist schools.

Today, as an Institution of a Public Character (IPC), the MSF is governed by a 14-member Board of Trustees and assisted by an investment committee.

Board trustee member Mr Albert Ng said, “We are thankful that God has drawn the Church and schools closer together in some of the work the MSF does. We continue to share God’s love with all our students. School buildings can change, but Jesus Christ remains the best answer to all our needs.”

Administering funds from the Chen Su Lan Trust In the aftermath of the financial crisis in 2009, increasing numbers of children in Methodist schools needed more financial help which was not always available from the Ministry of Education then.

Responding to the suggestion of the MSF, the Chen Su Lan Trust gave $2.92 million as an endowment to the MSF to administer financial assistance and bursaries to students in need.

Through the years, the fund has grown and is being disbursed to needy students as identified by their schools.

Mrs Joni Ong, current Chairperson of the MSF Board, said: “We are heartened that MSF is of service to do God’s work of providing financial assistance for educational purposes to students who need it.”

MethodistWalks over the years An event close to the hearts of the Methodist schools, MSF volunteers, and the Methodist churches is the biennial ‘MethodistWalk’. Being one of The Methodist Church in Singapore’s (MCS) signature events, the Walk usually attracts some 5,000 participants to come together to walk as one Methodist family. The Walk functions as an event for students from our 16 Methodist schools to raise funds for their school.

Avenues like the MethodistWalk enable the upgrading of science laboratories, development of school libraries and IT networks, and

Website : www.methodist.org.sg/ministries/methodist-schools-foundation Email : foundation@methodist.org.sg Phone : 6478-4808 funding for art resources, special needs rooms, and performing art studios.

But more importantly, extending beyond the physical upgrades of brick-andmortar school buildings, are the spirit, legacies, and memories of the Walk that will endure in the hearts of our students.

Before the Walk, students are given donation cards to garner funds. The school leaders tirelessly galvanise large student contingents to participate in the walk – ranging from 2 to 4 km – on the selected Saturday morning. The Methodist churches chip in to underwrite event costs and make donations, while their members don the Walk T-shirts or caps to join in the event.

The MethodistWalk is where the special relationship between the schools and the Church is made visible, and its significance is highlighted amidst the morning’s rousing activities. Mrs Chaillan Mui Tuan, Principal of AngloChinese School (Junior), affirmed that the 2017 MethodistWalk “reminds us of our common heritage and mission. Our boys not only learnt how to give cheerfully and generously in Christian service, but they also get to enjoy the meaning of Christian community through the morning walk and picnic.”

The MethodistWalk began in 2002, when the Methodist schools started to take ownership of their fundraising. In compliance with the fundraising efficiency ratio of 30/70, up to 30 per cent of funds raised were used to cover the Walk expenses, and the schools received the remaining 70 per cent.

Truly God’s blessing flowed in abundance, when the Church came into the picture during the 2007 MethodistWalk! Wesley Methodist Church became the first church to underwrite all event expenses, and having a church sponsor meant that the schools received 100 per cent of all funds raised.

Subsequent Walks were sponsored by Paya Lebar Chinese Methodist Church, Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church, and Barker Road Methodist Church. For the 2017 Walk, Foochow Methodist Church, Holy Covenant Methodist Church, Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church, and Toa Payoh Chinese Methodist Church came together as sponsors. The MethodistWalk will return in 2019.

Pressing on in His service 2018 remains a season for ministry and stewardship for the MSF. We submit ourselves to God as an instrument through which He provides for the students He calls into our schools.

We also continue to enhance the Church and school partnership in our interactions. With donations and offerings from Methodist churches throughout the year, the MSF is privileged to have them remember our schools and their needs.

This year, we will continue to organise fundraising efforts. These include the ‘MSF Donation Envelope’ programme with Methodist churches. Apart from the biennial MethodistWalk where funds go directly to the schools, we have not held events to raise funds for MSF’s disbursement over the past few years, so we will be looking to hold themed fundraising dinners in 2018, which we welcome your participation in. If you have other great ideas to contribute, or would

like to offer partnership, sponsorship, or volunteer service, do email foundation@methodist.org.sg – we’d love to hear from you!

We lift these plans to the Lord, praying that the Church and school partnership would bear fruit, labouring together in this service of educating our future generations in a Christian environment. Let us remember what the Bible says: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward” (Psalms 127:3). To God be all glory! n

Photos courtesy of the Methodist Schools’ Foundation, and Methodist schools METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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OPEN HOUSE

Saturday 24 March 2018

Building Through Belief, this school of choice provides

ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an allround English-based education for students aged 12 - 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma (IBDP).

Mr Rob Burrough Principal

Achievements Include

• Exceptional examination results; very strong value added achievement; and an all-round holistic education • 50:50 mix of local and international teachers who uphold the dual Methodist ethos and ACS heritage

• 19 Top of the World awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past eight years

• Small class sizes with overall student : teacher ratio of 8.7 : 1 • 40 different CCAs – 16 Sporting; 12 Visual and Performing Arts; 12 Special Interest Groups • 25+ overseas trips per year • Over 200 formal student leadership positions

• Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years • Admissions to top universities in the UK, US, Australia and Singapore • PSLE and Singapore GCE ‘O’ level students achieve outstanding valueadded examination results for the IB Diploma with improved pathways to good universities

• Scholarships for 4 Singaporeans to undertake the IB Diploma programme

Mrs Tan Siew Hoon Vice Principal

• Top students have achieved perfect IB scores of 45 points

• Successes at national level this past year in Archery; Touch Rugby; Cycling; Swimming; Chinese Drama; Debating; Fencing; Football; Golf; String Orchestra; Taekwondo; Volleyball; Wushu.

Mr Gavin Kinch Vice Principal

Dr Kristopher Achter Vice Principal

INFORMATION SESSIONS 9:00am

Principal’s Address

9:30am – 12:00pm

School tours & presentations by staff & students

Oldham Chapel, ACS (International) 61 Jalan Hitam Manis, Singapore 278475

For more information, please contact Joseph Ng or Serene Lim at +65 6472 1477 or admission@acsinternational.edu.sg

ACS (International) - Building Through Belief"

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The Book of Discipline 2017 edition: Get your copy today!

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he 2017 edition of The Book of Discipline (BOD) of The Methodist Church in Singapore (MCS) has been published. It is the rule-book of the denomination and guides our Methodist ministers and laypersons as they carry out their duties in our local churches, the Annual Conferences, and at the General Conference.

The BOD 2017 edition incorporates all the amendments made by the General Conference in 2016 and 2017, and is published by the Discipline Revision Commission of the MCS. The original BOD was first published in 1784 by the Methodist Episcopal Church in the United States of America. The MCS’ BOD has been published once every four years since we achieved autonomy in 1968.

The 464-page BOD 2017 edition contains the laws and doctrines of the MCS and includes our Constitution, Doctrinal Statements and General Rules, Social Principles, and the organisational rules for the Church in Singapore at all levels.

In his Episcopal Foreword in the BOD 2017 edition, Bishop Dr Chong Chin Chung wrote: “It is crucial for the BOD to be reviewed continuously so that the Church’s work is not disadvantaged by its sometimes slow awakening to new technologies, which could prove to be good servants but also demanding masters.”

“We rejoice over the Discipline Revision Commission that gathers very regularly to review the BOD, and assists us to govern ourselves right and well. I believe that the BOD will serve not only The Methodist Church in Singapore, but will also be useful as a reference for the many conferences in the region.”

The BOD 2017 edition is priced at $20 per copy. You can purchase your copy at the Administration Office of the MCS, located in the Methodist Centre at 70 Barker Road. You may also reach the office at 6478-4786 for more information. n

Photos courtesy of the Methodist Welfare Services METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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PLMC’s Filipinos: ‘Tunay Kang Matapat!’

(Great is Thy Faithfulness!)

Amy Cheong is Director, Corporate Communications at Paya Lebar Methodist Church.

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e praise and thank God that after 33 faithful years of guiding and developing The Filipino Connection (Filipino Fellowship) at Paya Lebar Methodist Church (PLMC), He has led them one big step further to become a full-fledged service as of 14 Jan 2018.

Ms Lulu Gupierrez, one of the most enthusiastic leaders who has been faithfully attending and serving in The Filipino Connection since 1993, shared: “New domestic helpers are often homesick and lonely. I always tell them we are a family here and God has a purpose for bringing them to Singapore – not just for work. We call each other on the phone and pray for each other when we have problems with our work, or when we have problems back home in the Philippines.”

The new Filipino Service is held every Sunday from 1.30 p.m. to 3.30 p.m. at the Covenant Chapel, PLMC (nearest MRT Station is Serangoon). 80 per cent of the services will be conducted in English and all are welcome! n

For more information, please contact Ms Grace Phoon at grace@plmc.org.

Photo courtesy of The Filipino Connection, Paya Lebar Methodist Church

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Testimony: God’s faithfulness, 28 years and counting Richard Tan is the Lay Leader of Grace Methodist Church.

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he story of my mother’s journey to her eventual baptism, spanning almost three decades, showcased how God faithfully remembers one of His own, demonstrating His persevering pursuit of His people across time, even if they initially chose to turn from Him. A little more than 28 years ago, on Christmas Eve 1989, my mother had agreed to be baptised along with my family, but backed out suddenly on the day of the baptism. She said she was not ready.

From that day on, it was a long wait on the Lord for me as she returned to idol worship. She even underwent a ritual called “gui yi” (归依) – “gui” meaning “to return” and “yi” meaning “to rely on”. The ritual was to signify her reliance on this other god, and the accompanying articles of faith.

Even counseling by a pastor did not help her reconsider. She believed earnestly that all her life, she had relied on her god to bring up her children and protect her family, and that her successful children and their families were a testament to faith in her god.

Undeterred, I continued my efforts to reach out to her, with the support of my family and siblings. Whenever there were evangelistic or outreach opportunities, even just a dinner gathering that may or may not feature a speaker, I would bring her along.

These efforts culminated in bringing her to attend the Hokkien service in Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church at TA2. She only agreed to attend the TA2 service as she knew that she would be able to see her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, who attended the nearby Grace Methodist Church.

However, her attendance was not regular, skipping church at the slightest excuse: that her legs felt tired, or that she didn’t feel like going out. The hold that her old religion had on her was too strong – after each time the pastor visited her home and prayed for her, she would turn around and pray again to her god.

The turning point came when TA2 assigned a dedicated befriender, sister Teck Choo, to my mother. Teck Choo was about my mother’s age, yet was very active and always served cheerfully. She would always attend to my mother’s needs such as receiving her at church, helping her with refreshments, and sending her off week after week, continually showing care and concern for her, alongside the pastoral team.

The vivid display of the power of God’s love through Teck Choo soon touched my mother. My mother began attending church every Sunday and no longer skipped service. It also helped that the pastoral team, led by the Rev Ng Beng Keow, would visit her regularly. This made her comfortable with the team, and she finally gave the team her consent to be baptised.

An incident assured me that she had begun to put her faith in the Lord: during an after-dinner prayer for her two weeks before her baptism, she actually asked for prayer that God would protect her vision, as she has only one functioning eye. Now, she no longer puts her faith in her old religion, but instead looks forward to Sundays when she would be brought to church.

My mother was baptised on 24 Dec 2017 (pics above), 28 years to the day that she backed out on the doorstep of the Lord – a glowing and faithbolstering testament to His persevering patience, love, and grace.

At the age of 90 and witnessed by her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, my mother has indeed received the greatest gift this past Christmas, as the Lord continues His transformative work in her life. Praise the Lord! n

Photos courtesy of Richard and Lynette Tan METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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METHODIST MESSAGE, AuGuST 2013

SOUNDINGS

Difficult love Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor for the ETHOS Institute™ for Public Christianity (http://ethosinstitute.sg).

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n 2017, ISIS detonated bombs at two Coptic churches in Egypt during their Palm Sunday services that killed at least 45 worshippers.

The first explosion, which killed 27 people and injured 78, took place in the Mar Girgis church located in the city of Tanta, about 90 km from Cairo. The second explosion took place three hours later at St Mark’s Coptic Orthodox Church, killing 18 and wounding 35.

Days after the incident, a journalist spoke to the widow of Mr Naseem Faheem, the Christian guard who was killed at St Mark’s Church. “I’m not angry at the one who did this”, she said, with her children by her side. “I’m telling him, ‘May God forgive you, and we also forgive you. Believe me, we forgive you.’ ” Mr Amir Adeed, arguably the most prominent talk show host in Egypt, was stunned when he heard what the widow said. “How great is this forgiveness you have!”, Amir exclaimed, his voice cracking. “If it were my father, I could never say this. But this is their faith and religious conviction.”

Naseem’s humble widow embodies and so profoundly exemplifies that radical self-forgetting love that the Bible calls agape.

There are a number of passages in Scripture with the injunction for Christians to love their neighbours, including their enemies:  “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

(Luke 6:27-28, NIV)  “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”

(Romans 12:14)  “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing…”

(1 Peter 3:9, NIV) Agape is a difficult love. It calls us to do something that clearly goes against our inclinations. By calling us to love our enemies, the very people who hate us and who have either done us harm or wish to do so, agape stretches human love beyond its limits.

The American Catholic social activist Dorothy Day, who has poured out her life to serve the poor and disenfranchised, confronts the impossible possibility of such love with undisguised honesty.

“All men are brothers,” she wrote, “but how to love your brother or sister when they are sunk in ugliness, foulness, and degradation, so that all the senses are affronted? How to love when the adversary shows a face to you of implacable hatred, or just cold loathing?”

The command to love our enemies is a call to love in the way God loves. In Paul’s epistle to the Romans, he tells us that while we were sinners (i.e., God’s enemies – see Romans 5:10), God showed His love through the sacrificial death of Christ (Romans 5:8).

On the cross of Calvary, Jesus prayed that God the Father would forgive the people who tortured and crucified Him (Luke 23:34).

Thus, in loving an adversary who emanates only “implacable hated” or “cold loathing”, we reflect in our lives the very ‘agapic’ love of God. Approached from another angle, in loving others in this way, we become more human, for to be human is to be the bearer of the image and likeness of God. But is such love even possible? Naseem’s widow has clearly demonstrated to us that it is. Agape is possible because of the power of the Spirit who dwells in us.

Following the approach exemplified by Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Dorothy suggests that we could begin to love in this way by seeing Jesus in the other. “Jesus is disguised and masked in the midst of men, hidden among the poor, among the sick, among the prisoners, among strangers,” she wrote, no doubt with Matthew 25:35 in mind.

But decades of selfless service to the poor and marginalised have disabused Dorothy of all puerile idealism. ‘Agapic’ love is never easy, and very often she feels that her “love is too small”.

But Dorothy recognises that the Bible commands such love, and obedience requires nothing less than a strenuous act of will. In her book, On Pilgrimage, she put this again in manifest honesty: “If you will to love someone, you soon do… It depends on how hard you try.”

For Dorothy – as it should be for all Christians – loving our neighbour is not an option for those who have themselves received the forgiveness and love of God. It is a responsibility. n

“Soundings” is a series of essays that, like the waves of a sonogram, explore issues in society, culture and the church in light of the Gospel and Christian understanding.

Picture by sanchairat/Bigstock.com METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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A love gone wrong – How to know you are in an abusive relationship Mary Yeo-Carpenter is the mother of two teenage boys. She and her husband John are involved in church planting in North Carolina.

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e all want to love and be loved; to be needed, and for women, to be the perfect fit for someone. That’s not wrong; it is the way God made us. Men know deep within that “…it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18, New Life Version). Women want to meet someone who will declare, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23).

No one sets out to be in an abusive relationship. Yet abuse, emotional and physical, is not uncommon, even in Christian circles.

How did things go so wrong? Because we are ‘bent ones’, twisted by sin, and we need help. Some of us need more help in this area than others do. Experts have identified signs of abuse. Below is one such checklist. If you identify with even two or three of the items on this list, talk to someone. You may be the abuser – and women can be abusers as well – or the abused. Either way, you need help.

1.

Quick involvement: Words like “I’ve never felt loved like this before by anyone”; “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me…”

The pressure is on to be in an exclusive relationship very early on.

2. Possessiveness: Your partner is excessively possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly; asks you to call him or her by the hour; gets upset if calls or texts are not returned immediately; calls when he or she knows where you are and who you are with.

3.

Being controlling: Checks your social media account to know who you are friends with; interrogates you intensely about who you talked to and where you were; insists on going shopping with you to help you select clothing; wants you to keep your hair a certain way etc.; keeps all the money or asks for receipts; insists you ask for permission to go anywhere or do anything.

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Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to meet his or her every need; only you can make the person happy.

5. Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; deprives you of a phone or car, or tries to prevent you from holding a job.

6.

Blames others for his or her own mistakes: The boss, family, you – it’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong.

7.

Makes everyone else responsible for their feelings: The abuser often says, “You make me angry” instead of “I’m angry”. “I wouldn’t get so upset if you didn’t…”

8. H ypersensitivity: Is easily insulted and will often rant and rave about injustices in his or her life.

9.

Cruel to animals and children: Uses anger or neglect of the kids to keep you at home or in your place; kills or punishes animals brutally. He or she also may expect children to do things beyond their ability, or tease them until they cry.

10. ‘Playful’ use of force during sex: Intimidates, manipulates, or forces you to engage in unwanted sex acts.

11. Verbal abuse: Constantly criticises you or says cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names; uses vulnerable points about your past against you.

12. Rigid gender roles: Expects you to serve, obey, and remain at home.

13. Sudden mood swings: Switches from loving to angry in a matter of minutes.

14. A past of battering: He or she admits to hitting partners in the past, but states that they or the situation brought it on.

15. Threats of violence: Towards himself or herself, or you. Whether it is “I’ll kill myself…” or “I’ll kill you …” or “I’ll hurt the kids…”

Abuse is one of the Church’s darkest secrets.

No one wants to admit to being in an abusive relationship. And it is hard to spot the abuser; he or she can often be charming, especially to outsiders. Even when abuse is suspected, few are willing to check out the truth for fear of being intrusive. But abuse must be dealt with. So if you suspect abuse, speak up. “But if we walk in the light, as [God] is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7). n Reprinted with permission from IMPACT magazine, Dec/Jan 2014, Vol. 37, No. 6.

Picture by fizkes/Bigstock.com

BOOK REVIEW

Unmasked: Being authentic about sexuality Paul Bach served several years with World Outreach in Singapore. Though back in the UK, he keeps in touch with friends in Singapore, and follows developments here closely.

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exuality is the area in which we have the most difficulty in being honest. We fear facing parts of ourselves and exposing things about ourselves that feel shameful. But we need to come clean about our sexual struggles and failures.”

So writes Ben K. C. Lee, author of Unmasked, thus expounding on his critical thesis – the need for authentic sexuality. By this he means that we need to drop the masks with which we protect ourselves from judgment, and which prevent us from being able to resolve our deepest issues.

For too long, Ben posits, the topic of sex has not been sufficiently discussed in churches, despite the innate human desire for sex. If the Church continues to avoid addressing this issue, we will get our guidance from pornography or misinformed peers. Hence, we need to disciple believers in matters of sex and sexuality in an honest and open (‘authentic’) manner.

Ben goes still further in proffering that this is only possible when our emotional life is integrated with our spirituality – and that if either one is repressed, then the other will suffer as well.

“Stewarding our sexual desires is not about suppressing our sexual desires but deepening our spirituality,” he writes.

The alternative, Ben notes, is that we tend to look for sexual answers to our deeply spiritual longings for intimate connection. This will ring true for many who are struggling with sexual brokenness. Emotional needs become confused with carnal desires, and hence we retreat into obscurity, denial, and shame, rather than expose our weaknesses to ourselves, others, mentors – and to the healing light of Christ.

Ben’s message then is that families and congregations must be equipped with safe opportunities to discuss these deep issues, without sugarcoating them or being overly graphic.

If the church is to be a fully-functioning community and not just a Sunday service, it would also provide a viable place where individuals who are single may thrive as well as those who are married.

It is refreshing to see a book coming from outside the usual Western fount, and which is so whole-heartedly aligned with the teachings of Scripture; written by a pastor, but with such full sympathy for all sexual issues, and complete honesty about even his own struggles.

Unmasked is short, clear, readable, and adds a new emphasis on the simple thesis of equipping the Church and the home. It is not only of direct relevance to Christians but also to all who struggle sexually; and this is what Ben espouses throughout his ministry – complete sexual wholeness. n

Unmasked

Being authentic about sexuality

by Ben K.C. Lee Published by Armour Publishing, 160 pages Available at $14 (before GST) on Armour Publishing’s web store at www.armourpublishing.com Special Promotion for all Methodist Message Readers!

Enjoy 20% discount off the price of Unmasked when you purchase the book at the Armour Publishing web store! Simply key in the promo code MASKED2018 at the checkout page – valid only from 1 – 28 Feb 2018.

Book cover graphic courtesy of Armour Publishing METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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POEMS

On Ash Wednesday Grace Toh is the Editor of Methodist Message and a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church. She is drawn to the stillness of Ash Wednesday remembrances.

Ash Wednesday – what calls the soul to church When songs and stained glass cede to silence and grey?

When music is solemn and slow as a dirge, Why go then to church, on Ash Wednesday?

What thought bears the soul to encounter this night When Easter victorious seems eons away?

When pews languish empty, and dim-filled with light, Why go then to church, when it seems so to weigh?

A hunger not sated with noodles or rice; A debt that we owe, unable to pay; A longing to see clear through sin-clouded eyes; A clarion “Go”, not a trembling stay – Quiet. Repentance. Ashes. Tears.

A pastoral touch, a pause to pray; Calmly we rise. The dark vision clears; Lent has begun. This is the first day.

In 40 days’ time hallelujahs will ring; Seven days before, green palms will sway.

Joyful seasons will come; for now let us bring Home the stillness of Ash Wednesday.

Picture by czarny_bez/Bigstock.com

February IS THE MONTH FOR GIVING COLOUR TO THE MIRACLES AND WONDERS OF THE BIBLE

From 1 Feb 2018

Celebrate art and the Bible in the 5th annual ‘Colours of the Bible’ Art Competition! Over the past four years, many have enjoyed the combination of art and Scripture through the competitions, exhibitions, and workshops. The theme for this year is ‘Miracles and Wonders in the Bible’.

Scan here to see events online!

Jointly organised by The Bible Society® of Singapore and The Embassy of Israel in Singapore.

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To register or for more information, visit colours.bible.org.sg.

CONDUCTING BUSINESS BY THE BOOK

28 Feb – 18 Apr 2018 (Wednesday evenings), 7.30 – 9.30 p.m.

7 Armenian Street, Bible House, Level 4, Morrison-Liang Seminar Room 2, S(179932) Is it possible to be a godly Christian and a successful businessman at the same time? What would your business look like if it was run according to God’s Word — the Book of books?

With this course designed by the late Larry Burkett, founder of Crown Financial Ministries, learn how you can build your business in a way that will both truly glorify God and achieve long-term success.

Organised by The Bible Society® of Singapore.

Fees: $250 (inclusive of training materials)

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To register, visit www.bible.org.sg/bbb.

ILLUMINATING LIVES WITH THE LIGHT OF THE WORD

2 and 9 Mar 2018, 9 a.m. – 5.30 p.m.

Trinity Theological College Chapel, 490 Upper Bukit Timah Road, S(678093) The Word of God brings light and life. When faithfully preached, the Word, like a laser, pierces the soul and spirit. What can we do to sharpen our homiletical skills so that God’s Word can shine more brightly both in our churches and in our society? Come find out at ‘Light of the Word: A Preaching Symposium’!

Topics to be explored include the act of preaching in a pluralistic society, the relationship preaching has with church growth, the theology of preaching, and preaching as a form of pastoral care, amongst others.

The symposium will also feature workshops on fine-tuning preaching practices, and making it applicable to particular demographics. Time is also allocated for dialogue with a panel of practitioners, and a Q&A session with plenary speakers.

Organised by Trinity Theological College.

Registration fee: $20 (before 22 Feb); $30 (after 22 Feb). Includes meals and refreshments.

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To register, visit www.ttc.edu.sg/form-ttc-preaching-symposium-registration. For more info, visit www.ttc.edu.sg/, email info@ttc.edu.sg, or call 6767-6677.

DISCOVERING GOD AT THE REASONABLE FAITH CONFERENCE

16 – 17 Mar 2018, 1 – 4.30 p.m.

Bethesda (Bedok-Tampines) Church, 300 Bedok North Ave 3, S(469717) The Reasonable Faith Conference aims to help believers be always prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks us to give the reason for the hope that we have (1 Peter 3:15).

Skeptics often ask for evidence in support of the beliefs that Christians hold. This year, join Josh and Sean McDowell as they look at ‘Evidence that Demands a Verdict’. This conference will equip you with the tools and answers to respond to and defend our faith against the harshest critics and skeptics.

Organised by Reasonable Faith Singapore.

Tickets: Adult – $40, Student/NSF – $20

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Register and get your tickets at reasonablefaithconference2018.peatix.com today! For more info, visit reasonablefaithsingapore.org/conference#about

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METHODIST MESSAGE • FEB 2018

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THINK

Fathers – God in human skin Jason Wong is Chairman of Focus on the Family (Singapore) and also of Elijah7000, a Christian movement to turn hearts of all fathers to their children. He will be one of three speakers at this year’s Aldersgate Lecture. See P8 of this issue for early details of Aldersgate SG 2018, and look out for more details in upcoming Methodist Message issues!

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arthly fathers affect our views of God the Father.

Some of us may have watched the movie The Case for Christ, which is based on the true story of how investigative journalist Lee Strobel took on the challenge of examining the historical evidence surrounding Jesus, and how he changed from being a hardened skeptic to becoming a Christian. The reason it took him so long to accept that there is a God, despite the overwhelming evidence he encountered, was his own difficult relationship with his father.

In Dr Paul Vitz’s book, Faith of the Fatherless, he wrote that after studying the lives of more than a dozen leading atheists, he found that a large majority of them had fathers who were present but weak, present but abusive, or absent. The author also examined the lives of prominent theists, and discovered that these theists had good relationships with their fathers.

In John 14:9, Jesus said: “Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.” (NIV) Do our children see God when they look at us? Do we speak to them the way God would speak to them, or do we shout and ask them to go away?

Do we love them the way God loves them, unconditionally and with longsuffering, or do we love them only when they do something right in our eyes, or match our expectations for them? Do we comfort them when they face failures in life the way God would comfort them, or we are too absorbed in our own pain to even notice theirs?

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles…”

(2 Corinthians 1:3-4a, NIV) “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” (Psalm 103:8, NIV) “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?

Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”

(Isaiah 49:15, NIV) Since leaving full-time work in 2013, I have been able to find time to mentor young men and fathers. It is through this that I learned the importance of spiritual fathering and one-to-one mentoring. All of us should ideally have three fathers – Abba Father, our earthly father, and one or more spiritual fathers.

My chief goal in mentoring is to represent God the Father to my mentees.

For those whose fathers are absent or abusive, I help them see and understand that God does not love in the flawed way that their earthly fathers do. God is love. God cannot not love. Just like ice is cold; ice cannot be not cold.

Why are their fathers not able to love the way God does? If their fathers had loved them the way God the Father does, then they would not have been so broken and struggling with confidence, identity (including sexual identity), and self-esteem issues throughout their lives.

My mentees come from different churches. Why do they look for me?

Why aren’t they able to find a spiritual father in their own church to mentor them? Why aren’t older men rising up to be spiritual fathers to the fatherless in their midst? Does the church even know who are fatherless in their midst?

There are many men in our churches. But where are the fathers? Where is God in human skin?

“Even if you had ten thousand guardians (instructors/teachers) in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I become your father through the gospel.” (1 Corinthians 4:15, NIV) Fathers are not perfect. No one is perfect. Our fathers cannot give us what they have not received from their own fathers.

When Jesus was on the cross, He said, “Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34, NIV) We, too, need to forgive our earthly fathers for not fathering the way they should, and they, in turn, need to forgive their own fathers.

Now that we know how important fathers are, let us father (as earthly fathers and spiritual fathers) like our heavenly Father, so that we can be like God in human skin. n

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