Methodist Message: Jun 2024

A ministry of reconciliation: MWS' new BOG chair, Eugene Toh, shares his views on outreach and social concerns

ACS Oldham Hall's Hope Fund celebrates 10 years of sheltering and nurturing Singaporean youth in need

Justice, mercy and social holiness

Editorial Board

Adviser and Publisher

Dr Anthony Goh

Chairperson, Council on Communications

Communications Manager

Lynn Tan

Managing Editor

Alvin Tay

Editor

Lianne Ong

Communications Executive

Kathrynn Koh

Sub-editors

Lucy Cheng

Janice Khoo

Tan Chiu Ai

Elliot Soh

Proofreaders

Kenneth Lee

Christabel Tan

The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

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MCS response to UMC's repeal of the ban on gay clergy

MSM's new directions seek to deepen connections with the Methodist community 6 The burning hearts, opened eyes and beautiful feet of Methodists: Aldersgate Methodist Church's 45th Anniversary 11 From one generation to the next, in His service: Geylang Methodist Schools' 100th Anniversary

Feature / 14 ACS Oldham Hall Hope Fund celebrates 10 years of sheltering and nurturing Singaporean youth in need

17 A ministry of reconciliation: MWS Board of Governance Chairperson shares his views

20 Methodist Social Principles: The Bible doesn't talk about toxic social environments of today, so what should we do?

Opinion /

Soundings: Sanctity and justice

THINK: Finding my higher ground as a househusband

Outreach /

Not the typical tentmaker: MMS' professional volunteer programme

Relationships /

You & Your Family: Are you being gaslighted?

At The Well

People /

God sustained me through seasons of challenges

Social concerns as a way of truth and life

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

James 1:27 (NIV)

What if?

I have been blessed to have grown up in a Christian home, and for as long as I can remember, have always understood true faith in God to be evidenced primarily by a mental and heartfelt assent to the wonderful invitation of Jesus Christ to confess my sins and to receive his promised forgiveness, recognising him as Lord and Saviour. Such faith has been, and continues to be, such a wonderful source of strength and blessing. But what if?

Studying Scripture daily for over fiftyfive years has enriched me with a complementary way of understanding true faith, or true "religion" as the apostle James says.

What if true faith in God is also evidenced by repenting or turning away from a life centred on caring for ourselves, and turning more towards a life centred on caring for others, or as Jesus puts it, a way of life centred on loving our neighbours as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39)?

It is not only James and Jesus who describe God's way to true life as the way of caring for orphans and poor widows, extending love and kindness especially towards those who are more disadvantaged in our communities. The apostle Paul also understands the purpose and meaning of our lives in similar terms: For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10 NIV).

What if the Church understood her raison d'etre in these biblical truths? Then perhaps we might understand evangelism (sharing the Good News) as an invitation to all persons to put faith in God by committing themselves to the Jesus of the Bible who shows us the way to life—a life of loving God by loving our neighbours, and especially our neighbours whose needs are greater than ours.

This issue of Methodist Message focuses on such faith in God, a faith evidenced by social concerns for our neighbours. What if this is also putting our faith in Jesus, who is the way to truth and life?

MCS response to UMC's repeal of the ban on gay clergy

Last week, the United Methodist Church (based in the United States) lifted its long-standing ban on gay clergy, which had already begun in practice. What does this mean for Methodists in Singapore? The following is a response from The Methodist Church in Singapore to the Methodist community.

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

The United Methodist Church's (UMC) General Conference was adjourned on 3 May 2024. Held in Charlotte, North Carolina, the twice-postponed General Conference deliberated on over a thousand petitions over two weeks. The delegates voted to institute significant legislative changes to their polity and their Book of Discipline (BOD), including:

1. The removal of the ban on the ordination and appointment of "selfavowed practicing homosexuals", which was a prohibition dating back to 1984;

Making sexual orientation a required category for mandated diversity on church commissions and agencies; and, 3. The revision of the UMC Social Principles on marriage, which broadens the definition to include "two people of faith, an adult man and woman of consenting age, or two adult persons of consenting age into union with one another".

Let us all, as fellow Methodists, continue to keep the UMC in prayer.

The Methodist Church in Singapore (MCS) has been autonomous from the UMC

Photo by Benjamin Lee, Eyeconic Studios

since 1968. We have our own BOD which embodies and preserves our core Methodist beliefs, order and rules. Since our founding, the MCS BOD has been based on biblical, spiritual teachings and values exemplified by John Wesley, the founder of Methodism.

Our views on marriage remain unchanged from our clarifications previously published in 2021 and 2022. For example, the MCS BOD, which includes our revised Social Principles, expressly states that:

1. "Since the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching, self-avowed practicing homosexuals are not to be accepted as candidates … or approved to serve in the Methodist Church in Singapore." (¶535)

2. "We affirm the sanctity of the marriage covenant which is expressed in love, mutual support, personal commitment, and fidelity between a man and a woman." (¶84.1)

The MCS BOD thus articulates a biblical, theological, ethical and historically wellframed Christian practice. This practice is derived from Scripture and from the wisdom of our Wesleyan forebears. The examples cited show that in practice, our

moral stance is not merely exclusionary. While it forecloses certain acts, it simultaneously upholds a vision that exemplifies the fittingness, goodness, and beauty of Christian morality in promoting true human flourishing.

This Christian morality cannot simply be theorised. It must be lived.

John Wesley's reminder that all holiness is social holiness means that we all, without exception, need each other in the lifelong journey of being perfected in God's love. It is precisely in a capacious and hospitable Church that we learn the rhythms of sacrifice, bearing one another's burdens and through which, we present an open invitation to abundant communal life to all around us. We take comfort that salvation does not rest finally in human ingenuity but in the fact that

"The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.

The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made."

~ Psalm 145:8-9 (NIV)

May the people called Methodists forever emulate the Lord, who is "all compassion, pure unbounded Love!"

This response has been endorsed by the Bishop of The Methodist Church in Singapore and the Council of Presidents comprising Presidents of the Trinity Annual Conference, Chinese Annual Conference and Emmanuel Tamil Annual Conference. For enquiries, please write to communications@methodist.org.sg

Lianne Ong is the Editor of Methodist Message / Photos courtesy of Methodist

MSM's new directions seek to deepen connections with the Methodist community

The Methodist School of Music (MSM) celebrated its 27th anniversary and held a thanksgiving service on 27 April 2024 at Bukit Panjang Methodist Church. At the service, Executive Director Ms Clarissa Tan, who assumed her role on 1 March last year, articulated MSM's new plans in her speech.

"MSM wants to meet the worship and music ministry needs of the local churches, and support churches to build more vibrant liturgical worship services," said Ms Tan.

Beyond the Methodist community, Ms Tan said the community music programmes would serve the purpose of outreach, providing music education in a Christian environment. In all their endeavours, Ms Tan said the main vision of MSM was to share "life-transforming music with a missional purpose" with everyone and use music to uplift the vulnerable or neglected in society, such as the elderly with dementia or those with special needs.

What MSM wants to do with the Methodist community:

• Deepen engagement with churches, schools and agencies through partnerships and collaborations

Increase relevant programme offerings e.g. church-based training for worship leaders and musicians

A music school with Methodist heritage MSM has been structured to engage Methodist churches and pre-believers via its two main departments that oversee Worship Music and Community Music respectively. In 2024, MSM received invitations from other Methodist agencies such as Methodist Welfare Services and Methodist Missions Society to collaborate. Of significance is a new music programme at St Francis Methodist School that MSM is helping to design and execute.

(top left)

The ACJC Alumni Choir conducted by Mrs Valarie Wilson (above left)

Ms Clarissa Tan, Executive Director of MSM (above) MSM Elementary Violin Ensemble

Methodist

While there are many secular and Christian music schools in Singapore, MSM's uniqueness stems from its Methodist identity and deep heritage in Christian music. MSM promotes the learning of music not for its own sake, but for serving others.

"Because music comforts, music heals and music connects, MSM is heeding God's call to use music to touch the lives of many," Ms Tan said.

The work of the Christian musician

(right)

About 400 guests attended the anniversary service

The anniversary service showcased the Methodist Festival Choir and violin students of MSM's community music classes. Mrs Valarie Wilson, the principal of Methodist Girls' School and an accomplished musician, was the Guestof-Honour. Also the conductor of the ACJC Alumni Choir, which was present at the service as the guest choir, Mrs Wilson

"Gospel humility, as C S Lewis puts it, isn't thinking less of ourselves, nor more of ourselves. It is thinking about ourselves less."

Mrs Valarie Wilson

shared personally on using God's gifts to bless others in love, and how, through the gift of music, she strives to love God and others.

"1 Corinthians 13 is a reminder that all good gifts we have come to nought if we have no love; without love, I am only— perhaps even literally—a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal," she said.

She also spoke on "self-forgetting", a term coined by the late Timothy Keller, as her approach to music with gospel humility.

"Gospel humility, as C S Lewis puts it, isn't thinking less of ourselves, nor more of ourselves. It is thinking about ourselves less," Mrs Wilson said.

The congregation was treated to three songs by the ACJC Alumni Choir, which will also be performed at their annual May concert.

For the latest news, upcoming events and exclusive content, follow MSM at https://bit.ly/FollowMSM

(bottom left)

Festival Choir with Dr Judith LaoyanMosomos

Brendan Loon worships at Aldersgate Methodist Church where he serves as an organist, a keyboardist and Worship & Music Chairperson. He continues to mentor boys and officers through The Boys' Brigade as Honorary Captain (33J Company) and Cluster Representative (South 2). / Photos courtesy of Aldersgate Methodist Church

The burning hearts, opened eyes and beautiful feet of Methodists:

Aldersgate Methodist Church's 45th Anniversary

The Sunday of 5 May saw 98 Dover Road abuzz with excitement, as the various congregations of Aldersgate Methodist Church (AMC)—Chinese, Contemporary, Traditional, Youth—came together to celebrate and commemorate its 45th Anniversary in a combined EnglishChinese bilingual service. The service opened with a piano and violin prelude of Chris Tomlin's "How Great Is Our God" by Ms Hii Hui Sieng and Ms Doru Gu from the Chinese ministry, with this testament to God's great faithfulness and sovereignty helping congregants to posture and prepare their hearts for service.

The scene was made even more meaningful and poignant, with the floral ministry having adorned the chancel area with soft pastel floral offerings that predominantly reflected the white liturgical colour of Eastertide. Small, delicate myrtle blossoms in the arrangements added slight hues of light

blue, pink, purple and yellow—intimating towards the promise of God's abundant blessings of material and spiritual restoration and transformation: "instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off" (Isaiah 55:13 KJV).

The inter-service bilingual worship team, anchored by Mr Vincent Tan, Mr Kong Chong Phang and Ms Joyce Teh, then led the congregation to enter God's presence with praise and thanksgiving, beginning with Charles Billingsley's modern take on Fanny Crosby's classic hymn "To God be the Glory". As the opening hymn of the very first service 45 years ago, this served to remind the congregation of and root the congregation within AMC's heritage and history. Lay Leader Mr Loo Ming Yaw next led all worshippers to draw near to God's throne of grace and mercy with confidence, through a time of communal

From leftMr Ronald Lee (PPRSC Chairperson), Mr Wee Tat Chuen (LCEC Chairperson), Rev Dr Lynette Sathiasingam (PIC), BE Dr Robert Solomon (Guest Speaker), Rev Jeremy Yap (Pastor), Rev Ho Chee Sin and Mr Loo Ming Yaw (Lay Leader) (right) Congregation attending the Anniversary Service

(left)

prayer and meditation—giving thanks to God for his sustaining grace and love over 45 years of church-building; as well as seeking God's forgiveness and mercy for all the times that the church had failed to live in accordance with God's calling and will.

To express AMC's gratitude in response to all of God's blessings, offertory choral items were presented along with giving to God his people's tithes and offerings. The children's ministry performed CityAlight's "Jesus, Strong and Kind / Jesus Loves Me This I Know", as well as Stream of Praise's "If You Want to Know (Where Love Is)" in Chinese. An inter-service choir—anchored by the traditional service choir and complemented by Chinese ministry choristers—delivered the anthem "Community of Faith" by J Paul Williams and Joseph M Martin, conducted by Ms Gloria Wangsaputri and accompanied by Dr Joanna Tan. The lyrics expressed the

church's desire and need for discipleship, to be faithful followers of Christ:

Lord, we are Yours. You speak and we obey.

We long to know Your will. Teach us, Lord, we pray.

Bishop Emeritus Rev Dr Robert Solomon had been invited to preach the sermon, as well as serve as the celebrant for Holy Communion. He shared on "The Wesleyan Flame" based on Luke 24:13-25, opening with a reminder for worshippers to steward faithfully their identity as Methodists. To this end, he clarified usefully how "method" in English comes from the Greek meta for "with" and hodos for "way", which could be interpreted then as "according to the way". This harks back to how the early Christians were referred to in the book of Acts as Followers of the Way, for Christ is the only way or method to holiness.

(left)

BE Dr Robert Solomon preaching (right)

The congregation enjoyed a heartwarming thanksgiving video prepared by the Communications team

"Bring our worship into the streets, into our daily lives—and we will make an impact in our world."

~ BE Dr Robert Solomon to AMC

BE Dr Solomon paralleled the episode of Jesus meeting the two disciples on the road to Emmaus with how God encountered the two Wesley brothers who were travelling preachers on the road. He drew attention to the metaphor of the burning heart as characterising the disciples' spiritual encounter with the Word of God—both that of Scripture, and the Word of God made flesh—in Luke 24:32 (NIV): "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?" . Relating this to John Wesley's own experience of feeling his "heart strangely warmed", he challenged congregants to consider whether their hearts feel ablaze, aflame, and alive when they engage with the Word of God and with each other about the Word of God: "Us Methodists must feel our hearts burning for God, his will and his Word."

"The moment the grasp of the Bible on our lives is no longer there, we are done for; I pray The Methodist Church of Singapore will not go down that road," BE Dr Solomon exhorted, in emphasising the centrality of scriptural authority at the heart of the Wesleyan faith. Amidst the growing influence and strength of popular, secular and social fashions, ideas and principles, it becomes vitally important for Christians to hold fast to the Word of God. Christians can only do so if we truly see and treasure the value of Scripture both in our personal lives as disciples, and in the communal life of our church—studying, understanding, and obeying God's Word in our lives and our community.

This underscores the need for Christians to have opened eyes that, first, see and recognise Christ in God's Word and at the Lord's Table as our Lord and Saviour who

(above left)

Ms Dora Gu played "How Great Is Our God" as the musical prelude (above middle and right) Fellowship over lunch

(above left) Fellowship over lunch (above right)

Chinese Ministry

pastoral staff

Ps Sharon Lam (left) with some members of the Chinese Ministry

(below)

The children presented two songs, namely

《如果你想知道》 and "Jesus Strong and Kind"

took on flesh, lived, suffered, died, rose and will return for us. It is then also impellent for Christians to have opened eyes that see and recognise God's work in us, through the Spirit making us to be more like Christ, and around us, through God's continued work among the peoples and in the world.

The Methodist pursuit of both personal and social holiness therefore includes

the last, the lost and the least. It was this that made the early Methodists such an intensely missional people, for indeed: "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" (Romans 10:15 NIV).

Finally, BE Dr Solomon closed with a call for worshippers to respond scripturally in every season: "Bring our worship into the streets,

D6 is an annual family ministry conference focusing on generational discipleship in churches and homes. The goal of the D6 movement is to equip families and churches to pass on a spiritual legacy to future generations. HAPPENING

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9.30AM–5.00PM

GEYLANG METHODIST SCHOOLS' 100TH ANNIVERSARY

From one generation to the next, in His service

"One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts."

Psalm 145:4

(NIV)

It is not everyday that a school in Singapore gets to commemorate a centennial anniversary, but this is exactly what the Geylang Methodist Schools (GMS) had the privilege to do this year.

It is even rarer to have generations of educators and students linked across decades in time—teachers working alongside their own teachers in a school, with their own children walking in the footsteps that they had themselves once taken as students—learning, playing and growing up in the same space.

Indeed, it is on the occasion of GMS' 100th year as a beacon of light in its community that the primary and secondary schools recount the blessings of God's goodness throughout the generations (Psalm 100:5).

A school family that transcends generations

In Geylang Methodist School (Primary), a familial bond shines through the lives

of Ms Theresa Tong, Mrs Chen Yan Xi and Nathaniel Chen. Ms Tong taught Mrs Chen during the latter's primary school years from 1993 to 1998. Under Ms Tong's tutelage, Mrs Chen grew in confidence in her talents and abilities and was inspired to become a teacher too. Today she works alongside Ms Tong as a colleague in the lower primary levels. Nathaniel, Mrs Chen's elder son, was a student of Ms Tong's when he was in lower primary. Tobias, Mrs Chen’s younger son, also joined the school last year.

Back row (left to right): Ms Theresa Tong and Mrs Chen

Yan Xi, teachers at GMS(P); front row (left to right): Tobias Chen and Nathaniel Chen, children of Mrs Chen

This year, Ms Tong celebrates 43 years of service to God in GMS, and to see the children of her own students study at the same school has been gratifying. Just as a generation is raised up for God's work in a new season, Ms Tong and Mrs Chen are experiencing how their lives in GMS continue to have a ripple effect through time as old students return with a passion to teach and grow others in the same way they had been blessed decades before.

Likewise at Geylang Methodist School (Secondary), this tradition of educational legacy is seen through three generations of teachers. Miss Wendy Wong set her mind on coming to GMS although her friends had chosen other schools. It was not because the school was near her home. Rather, Wendy felt an unspoken, divine connection with GMS.

When she first arrived, Wendy was a shy and quiet student. However, it was the kind and caring teachers in the school who managed to coax her out of her shell. One such teacher was Mrs Goh Heng Mei, who instilled in her a passion for learning.

In The Girls' Brigade, another teacher, Miss Leong Jing Ying, encouraged Wendy to pray and was instrumental in leading her to Christ when she was in

Secondary 2. Miss Leong also became Wendy's Bible study teacher, and at one point asked Wendy and her class to pray for their direction in life. Another teacher, Mdm Hazel Eng, was her Secondary 4 form teacher and Literature teacher. Wendy recalled that although she was not the best Literature student, she liked the subject because of Mdm Eng. This experience made her realise that teachers can make a difference. Through prayer, her personal experiences and her teacher-mentors at GMS, Wendy was inspired to embark on a career as a Mathematics teacher to impact the next generation of students. In fact, one of Wendy's former students, Ms Yvonee Wong has already returned to the school as a teacher.

In fact, these are just some examples of former students returning to serve in GMS, a testament to the profound ties that bind the GMS family together. It reflects not only the enduring impact of dedicated teaching but also the strong sense of loyalty and commitment students feel towards their alma mater. As each generation returns to contribute to the school's legacy, they not only uphold its traditions but also inspire the next cohort of educators, fostering a continuum of excellence and relationship-building.

teachers from GMS(P)

and GMS(S)

A generation of teachers work alongside the teachers who had once taught  them at the same school

Current

(left)

(right):

A birthday gift for GMS' centennial celebrations

God's centennial birthday gift to GMS came knocking in the most remarkable way. Only he could orchestrate reconnecting the family ties that bind the legacy of the schools to that of the founders. In August 2023, GMS(P) received a request from an American lady, asking if she could take photos of the school. Her name was Ms Carolyn Averill, and she explained that she was the greatgranddaughter of the school's founder, Rev Floyd Herman Sullivan, who was a District Superintendent of The Methodist Church in Singapore at that time. Ms Averill had found the name of her greatgrandfather on the school's website and wanted to see the school he had founded a century ago.

On 30 August 2023, she visited both schools and shared that her mother, Ms Anne Averill, Rev Sullivan's granddaughter, aimed to make a trip to Singapore specially to visit the schools for the centennial celebrations.

In April 2024, a Combined Centennial Service and Dinner was held, and the month ended on a high note with Ms Anne Averill's visit to both schools. To commemorate her visit, she painted and decorated a square on the 100th anniversary mural located in the secondary school and inscribed her name on it. She also visited the newlyopened heritage galleries in the primary and secondary schools, aptly christened collectively as The Living Gallery, which provided her with a wealth of information about the schools' history.

Towards the end of her visit, Ms Anne Averill, herself a former educator and school principal, made an impassioned speech. She said, "This school is embodying everything that my heart has in it, that my grandfather had," referring to Rev Sullivan's heart for educating hearts and minds to learn for life.

The school is blessed with a constant stream of alumni who return to serve as teachers, enabling its mission-centred ethos to be passed down from one generation to another. To have personally encountered Rev Sullivan's descendants is akin to having found long-lost family members. To see the same heartbeat across the generations, near and far, in his service—teaching, growing and moulding the next generation—was humbling and deeply moving.

(right)

Ms Anne Averill, granddaughter of Rev Floyd Sullivan, standing in front of the 100th anniversary mural at GMS(S), which she helped to decorate

(below) GMS representatives with Ms Anne Averill (centre, in white skirt)

Chin Ling is the Head of Communications at Barker Road Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of Koh Chin Ling

ACS Oldham Hall Hope Fund celebrates

10 years of sheltering and nurturing Singaporean youth in need

Malcolm Chua

Malcolm Chua's parents divorced when he was seven years old.

"Things just worsened as the years went on," he said, as he moved from place to place with his father, often "getting kicked out of different places". His relationship with his father was also deteriorating.

It was 2015, and the Anglo-Chinese School (Barker Road) Secondary 4 pupil noticed students from different schools would come into the Barker Road campus.

"I always wondered where they were going," he said. One day, he decided to follow one of them. To his surprise, he ended up at ACS Oldham Hall (OH)—the oldest boarding institution in Singapore which houses over 300 students studying in local and international schools. It is co-located with ACS (Barker Road), ACS (Primary) and Barker Road Methodist Church (BRMC).

A staff member, Jasmine Goh, approached him and gave him a full tour of the boarding house.

"At the end of it, I knew that there was no way I would be able to pay for any of this," he said.

"So I just thanked her and walked out."

Shortly after, then-ACS (BR) Principal Peter Tan called Malcolm into his office, and within a few weeks, Malcolm found himself back at OH as a boarder.

"I was hopeless at that point in time, you know, I really didn't know where to go," he said.

Malcolm ended up staying at OH for five years as one of the earliest beneficiaries of the ACS OH Hope Fund, a fund set up in 2014 with the support of BRMC.

Turning point for ACS Oldham Hall

Since the early 2000s, OH had been housing mostly Ministry of Education (MOE) scholars from the region when it was rebuilt on the Barker Road campus.

But 10 years on, the number of MOE scholars had shrunk due to a change in policy. This resulted in a drop of more than 60 percent in boarder numbers while other hostels were closing.

It was also around this time that BRMC member Hugh Yii took over as chairperson of OH.

"The team was very concerned about what would happen to the staff and students," Hugh said. "I was worshipping in church on a Sunday, and God said, besides housing

Koh

international students, there will be a place to help the needy youths in Singapore."

"But I couldn't quite understand that because we never had that calling as our mission," Hugh said.

So he turned to Peter, sounding out the ACS Principal on God's direction for OH, and Mark Tan, another BRMC member. A season of "journeying with the Lord" followed as they sought clarity on how to continue as a boarding school and answer his call.

OH was starting to position itself as a safe and nurturing boarding partner of international schools in Singapore when it was referred its first case of a youth in need by the Ministry of Social and Family Development.

"We took this case as confirmation from the Lord as well, that what we had heard was accurate," Hugh said. "And we took it as a stepping stone to understand whether the setting and our setup was actually suitable to help the youth in need in our community."

About four months later, the Hope Fund was born, enabling OH to take in, care for and nurture teens from broken families, and prepare them for life ahead. The Hope Fund marked a turning point for OH.

Today OH is operating at full occupancy with boarders from about 22 countries, including those as far as Ecuador and Kazakhstan.

"God has really brought the nations to our doorstep, not just from Asia but from faraway lands as well," Hugh said.

Finding themselves and God

OH not only provides respite, but also a fresh start, for Hope Fund recipients.

Siblings Siobhan Yeow and Yeow Jie Min stayed at OH from 2018 to 2020 after their mum found them the safe space, away from their abusive father. They were then in their final years of junior college and secondary school respectively.

"It was strangely peaceful," Siobhan said, while admitting it took her a while to adjust to the new environment because of anxiety issues. "We were so used to being uncomfortable that being at peace felt very strange."

Being among peers and other believers, the graduating NTU student said, "It's like a safe space and we would just throw questions at Mr Kevin (the Chaplain) and just basically be able to discuss whatever we wanted regarding the Bible, the faith and stuff like that, and to try to guide each other along and learn from each other."

They could also explore various interests, such as cooking and gardening.

"Some of the (younger) Hope Fund recipients were under my care and I think that provided me an opportunity to be a good role model," said Jie Min, who has been having admission interviews with tertiary institutions since mid-May.

(from left to right) Siobhan Yeow, Yeow Jie Min and Hugh Yii

ACS Oldham Hall Hope Fund celebrates 10 years of sheltering and nurturing Singaporean youth in need

Similarly for Malcolm, staying at OH opened up opportunities for him as he was then able to make it to the Shaw Pool for training on time at 5.30 a.m., unlike in the past when commuting by bus meant he was always late.

"I was able to really experience what it was like to train with the competitive group," he said.

While Malcolm was struggling to play catch up in competitive swimming because of his late start, a new Assistant House Master by the name of Matthew joined OH. His calmness and ability to connect with the boarders encouraged Malcolm to ask many questions.

"I challenged him a lot and to some degree I was also challenging God," Malcolm said.

It came to a point that Malcolm finally asked God what it was that he was meant to do. He

THE AIR-CONDITIONED COLUMBARIUM GARDEN OF

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then started volunteering as a coach before entering National Service.

"It's crazy because I couldn't even get myself into the final, and now God wanted me to coach people to swim," he said. "God assured me that it would be okay, it would work out, you know, and to just do it."

Malcolm, now 25, is a full-time assistant coach for the national swim team. He will also return to OH as an Assistant House Master in the next school term, the first Hope Fund recipient to do so.

For more on how you can give, or volunteer your time to support the Hope Fund and its boarders, please contact jasmine.goh@oldhamhall.org

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• 99-year lease commencing from 1964

• Clean and peaceful environment

• Transfer of urns or exhumation can be arranged

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Single and double niches are available with the following donations:

REGISTER AT OUR COLUMBARIUM OFFICE

400 Commonwealth Drive Faith Methodist Church Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church (Level 5)

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For booking of niches, please contact the columbarium office to arrange for an appointment.

Eugene Toh (third from left), Chairperson of MWS Board of Governance, with residents at MWS Bethany Nursing Home - Choa Chu Kang

Eugene Toh, 43, is the Chairperson of the Board of Governance of Methodist Welfare Services (MWS), the social concerns arm of The Methodist Church in Singapore. A long-time Methodist, he grew up and was baptised in Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church. Eugene shares his thoughts about MWS and his perspective on its work in outreach and social concerns.

to make a breakthrough. It was a story I held close to my heart.

What inspired you to get involved in Christian outreach and social concerns, and with MWS?

When I was young, my father often told me that in future, if I am in a position or ability to give back to others, I must do so. I could not understand why he kept drumming that message in me because we were not from a very wealthy family. But somehow, by chance and providence, he was the only one among his siblings to make it to university because there were a few individuals who supported him. That enabled him

In 2010, when The Methodist Church in Singapore (MCS) celebrated its 125th anniversary, MWS collaborated with the churches to raise $1.25 million for needy families across Singapore. This initiative blessed each family with $125 every month for a year.

I signed up for this programme through my church then and was assigned to a family living in a rental flat in Ghim Moh. The uncle, who was in his sixties, was wheelchair-bound as he was diabetic and had had both his legs amputated. Living with his wife and daughter

in a 2-bedroom flat and with his only son in prison, the family clearly had financial difficulties. When I gave him his first cheque, he was perplexed and asked if there were any strings attached, for example, if he needed to go to church. I said, no, it was unconditional.

Over time, he became more familiar with us, perhaps too familiar. There were times he shouted at me if he thought that his cheque was late and told me not to visit again. But he would apologise the next time I saw him, and our relationship was restored.

Later he was open to hear the gospel and I managed to share the Good News with him. Eventually, he received Jesus as his Lord and Saviour, and was baptised shortly before he died. The church is still ministering to his widow and family today.

That was how I started volunteering with MWS. Over time, I joined the Board and in September 2023, took on the role of Chairperson. MWS has given me the opportunity to bless others like how I had been blessed.

As its Chairperson, what is your perspective on MWS' role in the area of social concerns and outreach, especially in relation to the Methodist community?

In 2 Corinthians 5, the apostle Paul talks to us about being "ambassadors of Christ", and that we are entrusted with the ministry of reconciliation. MWS' work is a ministry of reconciliation in three ways.

First, we want to lead our beneficiaries to a wholesome state. By that, I mean we do not just want to meet their physical needs, but also bring restoration and reconciliation to the whole person. In John 10:10, Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." We want our beneficiaries to lead empowered lives, fulfilling their potential and making a difference to their families, communities and to Singapore.

Second, we want to see relationships restored. We have witnessed this in many of our services because of the interventions and love shown by our chaplains, staff and volunteers. So, the Chaplaincy work is very important. We are growing the MWS Chaplaincy team and expanding the volunteer programme and engagement with the churches, and we hope that more Methodists can come on board.

Finally, we want to see people reconciled to God. For those beneficiaries who are open and want to listen, this is an opportunity for us to share the Good News as well. There have been many testimonies such as the Ghim Moh uncle's that I described earlier, where people came to know the Lord and found peace.

In sum, I hope that MWS will continue to be a place to do good, because it is simply good to do so. We bless unconditionally because God's love is unconditional. We were set up as the social concerns arm of MCS and we will continue to provide avenues for our Methodist community to be a blessing to our society.

What lies ahead for MWS?

The charity space is going through many changes. Rising costs in healthcare and demographic changes in society will present new challenges for us. The way we operate will have to evolve. What has not changed however, is the need for more co-workers on this mission field, to meet the needs of vulnerable groups in Singapore.

Next year will be MCS' 140th anniversary. We are considering what MWS can do to support MCS in this celebration. Should we raise $1.4 million to bless families in need, like what we did during MCS' 125th anniversary? If we do, who else can we bless, apart from the beneficiaries that we are already serving? For example, MWS, together with ACS (Anglo-Chinese School), will be setting up

a SPED (special education) school in 2026. Will we be open to giving scholarships to eligible graduates so that they may further their education and enhance their prospects at landing meaningful work, perhaps even contributing back to the social services sector?

Can we go even further, like raising 1.4 million volunteer hours from our Methodist community? Within our churches, we have people with different talents, skills and expertise. We welcome people to volunteer in any capacity, and not necessarily only in MWS' services and centres. Can we bless other organisations, such as the smaller charities, so that they too can be a blessing to those in need?

We will be sharing more plans in the months ahead so keep a lookout, and we hope that the Methodist community and many more will come alongside this purposeful mission.

One thing is certain: every time the Methodist community comes together to commemorate a milestone, we do not only celebrate among ourselves; we always remember and bless those who are in need. That is the heartbeat of Jesus Christ, for he said that when we do it to the least of these brothers and sisters, we have done it to him.

On behalf of the MWS Board and staff, I commit MWS to continue to be part of the Methodist movement to be ambassadors for Christ, to partner each willing Methodist in Singapore to bring the Good News and good works to those around us.

I recall this elderly resident at MWS Nursing Home - Yew Tee, who was estranged from his wife, and expressed a desire to return to his home country. The couple had started a travelling business when they were younger, but it had failed. She wanted to settle down, while he refused. Taking their son, she left him to build a new life. She eventually cut ties with her husband but continued to pray for him daily.

The MWS care team—made up of the chaplain, Centre head and medical social worker—were concerned about the couple not having closure and contacted his wife to explore reconciliation. Despite her initial reluctance, she agreed to meet, sharing her traumatic experiences during their difficult marriage. At the meeting, she read a letter detailing her years of anguish. At the end, she said, "I forgive you, and I pray that God forgives you too." The resident broke down, expressing love for her and their son.

The couple's reconciliation brought closure, and the resident spent his remaining days in a nursing home in his home country. After his passing, the wife expressed gratitude to MWS for facilitating their meeting, which brought her peace and comfort.

- Eugene Toh Chairperson of MWS Board of Governance

PRAY FOR MWS!

While we do not fully understand the wonderful mystery of prayer, we are clear that our Lord encourages us to pray! So we invite you to spend a few minutes each month to join us in prayer. Indeed, as our Lord Jesus said, " I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son" (John 14:13).

HOW TO JOIN “PRAY FOR MWS”

1 Scan this QR code to join the WhatsApp Channel: “Pray for MWS”

2 After viewing Channel, click “Follow” on the top right. You may find the Channel under the “Updates” tab.

3 Remember to unmute to receive the monthly notifications on the Channel!

4 Most importantly, share them with family and friends who wish to pray for MWS!

Visit mws.sg to find out how you can get involved in the meaningful work of MWS.

To provide direct feedback or suggestions to Eugene on how MWS can better support the Methodist community, connect with him at eugenetoh@mws.sg.

Rev Ranganathan Prabhu is the Associate Pastor at Tamil Methodist Church (Short Street).

Methodist Social Principles

The Bible

doesn't talk about toxic social environments of today, so what should we do?

Every Christian aspires to obey God, avoid evil and do good. But some modern-day predicaments are not discussed specifically in the Bible. How, then, can we apply biblical principles to our lives? In this 9-part series, The Methodist Church in Singapore shares reflections on its Social Principles which, more than ever before, can help believers live by God's firm principles in today's volatile and complex world. This instalment discusses the Sphere of Social Well-being.

/ Part 3 of 9 /

A relational society, not just a functional one

Social well-being is a "healthy social environment".

It calls on everyone in the community to actively participate and contribute for the betterment of society. It involves building a healthy relational, connectional and functional community. Every individual is valued, respected, appreciated and tapped into.

The founder of the Methodist movement, the late Rev John Wesley, emphasised "social holiness" in his writings and preachings. He encouraged his members to get involved in their own special way in the community.

Wesley wanted church members to cross the barriers that existed in the social strata of his time and selflessly reach out to those in need. He insisted on social change rather than structural change.

Jesus said: "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45 NIV).

What Jesus meant was that service to humanity calls for a life of sacrifice, borne out of love and devotion.

Singapore, though a small nation, has multiple challenges. In a busy world, our eyes need to be wide open, our sensitivities sharp, our hearts filled with compassion

and our minds ever willing, with the same attitude as Jesus.

Some people need curative measures and some preventive, while others need redemptive and restorative help.

It is easy to bypass the disadvantaged if we focus only on our needs. It is also possible to justify our non-involvement citing the same excuse.

As God's people we need to place others above ourselves. While we cannot meet all needs by ourselves, we certainly can meet some.

For centuries, churches and missions have been serving the community to alleviate poverty by caring for the poor, providing education to the downtrodden, giving asylum to the disadvantaged and destitute, providing medical care to the sick and dying, and helping those who struggle with gambling, alcohol or drug addiction. There are others who struggle with gender identity. The list is not complete.

Equipping

and empowering each other for good

Social well-being, as a Christian social principle, recommends a balanced community.

Our service to people should not only address "felt" needs but "real" ones too. If we do not address the real needs, our efforts will not bring a solution. Just clearing the web will not solve the problem—we need to kill the spider.

Social well-being ensures development after relief. We need to equip and empower the community to carry on with mutual support. We encourage members to care for others in workplaces, while not endorsing evil practices.

Even those who break the law need mercy and help. We can provide an opportunity to offenders for rehabilitation and a new lease of life.

It can be challenging, though, when we come across wounded ones who are victims of their own circumstances. In the process of healing their wounds, we may be wounded, too, according to Henri Nouwen, the great Dutch writer and theologian.

Caution and self-care are important in such undertakings. But, in turn, one of these people we help can become healers too.

Nouwen says: "When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers."

So the Church as a community of God's people should go all out, beyond herself, to fulfil her duties. We should be active agents of change who, by helping others, can transform the world as Jesus would want.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:16 (NIV)

This article was first published in Salt & Light on 8 April 2024.

Soundings

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.

Sanctity and justice

Since 2009 the United Nations has designated 20 February as World Day of Social Justice. The purpose of this observance is to "commemorate and urge all efforts to combat unemployment, social exclusion, and poverty".1

For many years now, the idea of social justice has pervaded public discourse and fired up public imagination, even though what is meant by that ideologically-laden term can vary considerably.

Christians should also be profoundly concerned about issues of justice because they worship and serve the just God (Deuteronomy 32:4). However, the Christian understanding of justice and what motivates and energises the quest for it can be radically different from secular accounts.

Arguably, one of the most profound, if neglected, treatments of the Christian understanding of justice in the 18th century is that of John Wesley, the founder of Methodism. For Wesley, it is inconceivable for biblical Christianity to be unconcerned about or indifferent to the issue of justice.

In his sermon On Living Without God , Wesley states, quite categorically, that: "Indeed nothing can be more sure than that true Christianity cannot exist without both the inward experience and outward practice of justice, mercy and truth". 2

Wesley provides a fuller explanation of why this is the case in another sermon entitled Of Former Times :

By religion I mean the love of God and man, filling the heart and governing the life. The sure effect of this is the uniform practice of justice, mercy, and truth. This is the very essence of it, the height and depth of religion, detached from this or that opinion, and from all particular modes of worship. 3

It should be clear from the above passage that, for Wesley, there is a profound relationship between the life of faith and the practice of justice. Wesley insists that justice, mercy and truth can only flow from genuine love of God and our fellow human beings.

To put this slightly differently, Wesley makes a profound connection between holiness and the works of justice and mercy. This is because Wesley sees the most intimate relationship between holiness and love, even to the extent of understanding the two as synonymous.

In his treatise on original sin, Wesley writes: "What is holiness? Is it not, essentially love? The love of God and all mankind?" It is this love, he adds, that produces "bowels of mercies, humbleness of mind, meekness, gentleness, long-suffering".4

To this list, we can surely add justice, which Wesley understands simply as treating a person as a human being and in accordance with what they have done. For Wesley, then, justice and mercy are the outward manifestations of holy love.

Wesley’s understanding of the relationship between the sanctified life and the practice of justice is complex.

On the one hand, he insists that justice, mercy and truth flow out of, or are manifestations of the sanctified life—as we have seen. Thus, in his sermon on patience, Wesley could say baldly that "[l]ove is the sum of Christian sanctification". 5

In addition, sanctification has also to do with the restoration of what Wesley calls the moral image of God by the Spirit. Wesley explains:

While thou seekest God in all things thou shalt find him in all, the fountain of all holiness, continually filling thee with his own likeness, with justice, mercy, and truth.6

On the other hand, Wesley also teaches that the works of piety, justice and mercy are necessary to sanctification. By God’s design, their practice is the means by which Christians "work out [their] own salvation with fear and trembling" (Philippians 2:12).

What this all means is that for Wesley, holiness does not only have to do with our relationship with God ("loving God"). Holiness has a social dimension in that it also has to do with how the believer relates to others ("loving one’s neighbour").

That is why the notion of "social holiness" is often used to characterise Wesley’s vision, although he used this expression only once— in the Preface of the 1739 edition of Hymns and Sacred Poems , where he wrote: "The Gospel of Christ knows of no religion, but social; no holiness, but social holiness." 7

In that same Preface, Wesley explicates the relationship between sanctity ("holy love") and the practice of justice and mercy ("good works"), which nicely summarises our reflections in this brief article:

Faith working by love is the strength and breadth and depth and height of Christian perfection. This commandment we have from Christ, that he who loves God, love his brother also; and that we manifest our love by doing good unto all men, especially to them that are of the household of faith. And, in truth, whosoever loveth his brethren not in word only, but as Christ loved him, cannot but be zealous of good works. He feels in his soul a burning, restless desire of spending and being spent for them. My Father, will he say, worketh hitherto, and I work and, at all possible opportunities, he is, like his Master, going about doing good. 8

1 United Nations International Observances, https://www.internationaldays.org/february/ worlddayofsocialjustice.

2 'On Living Without God', Sermon 130, The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial Edition), Volume 4. Sermons IV: 115-151 (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1987), 174.

3 'Of Former Times', Sermon 102, The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial Edition), Volume 3. Sermons III: 71-114 (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1986), 448.

4 John Wesley, 'The Doctrine of Original Sin: According to Scripture, Reason and Experience', The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial Edition), Volume 12. Doctrinal and Controversial Treatises I (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 2012), 277.

5 'On Patience', Sermon 83. The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial Edition), Volume 3. Sermons III: 71-114 (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1986), 175.

6 'Sermon on the Mount VIII', Sermon 28, The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial Edition), Volume I. Sermons I: 1-33 (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1984), 614.

7 Preface of the 1739 edition of Hymns and Sacred Poems, The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial edition), Volume 12. Doctrinal and Controversial Treatises II (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 2013), 39.

8 Ibid.

THINK

Terence Chua is a Local Preacher at Living Hope Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of Terence Chua

Finding my higher ground as a househusband

How I arrived at homemaking

I am a househusband to a supportive wife and two children, ages six and one. In the last two years, I have spent the majority of my time managing my household through a myriad of chores which include preparing meals, upkeeping the children's routines and housekeeping, among other things. This role was not something I had envisioned myself doing and I found myself quite unprepared for it. The sense of being unprepared continues today.

My journey into this role was indirect: I started attending seminary classes at Trinity Theological College in 2019 after sensing a call to pastoral ministry and had initially expected to graduate with my class and begin ministry soon after.

Instead, I encountered a series of delays. It began with a decision two years into my studies, to accompany my wife through the grief of losing our second child, Theodore, who would have been four this year. (We had been advised that Theodore would not survive outside the womb, but nevertheless carried him till birth; we were blessed with

two hours of his life.) Then, a few years later when I finally graduated in 2023, I delayed any plans to enter full-time ministry to carry my family (hence my role as househusband) through a long and ongoing medical journey for our third child who suffers from a blood disorder. This homemaking decision arises out of an intersection of several concerns, not least the frequent hospital visits, the risk of my eldest experiencing neglect, my small-sized apartment, the quick-changing nature of a medical journey involving multiple steps and my ardent belief that pastoral suitability is perhaps perceived most authentically from one's work within their humble home (1 Tim 3).

A rude discovery

While I do have the luxury of available parental help on both sides and a wife who shares my load, I must confess I find homemaking very demanding. My journey has been a series of being shocked to realise my lack of skills and knowledge, followed by a scramble to recover and play catch-up by consulting whatever resources I could find at hand. My resources were often arbitrary and, alas, not uncommonly in

conflict: the internet (very overwhelming), books (wide-ranging views) and persons of experience. On not a few occasions I have cooked vegetables that were too fibrous for an infant, dozed off in a "class" conducted by my kindergartener and fumbled while trying to simultaneously ensure one child ate properly as I put the other down for a nap. Moreover I have discovered that the relevance of any improvements I managed to make quickly faded as I inevitably encountered new situations and gaps, when I had to learn anew. It seems homemaking, however common and basic, is no different from any profession that requires constant upgrading and refreshment through "continuing education" classes.

A missing clarity

Nietzsche wrote, "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." Indeed, in moments of intense discouragement (likely produced by a combination of fatigue, stress and making mistakes), I have often felt a missing clarity that would enable me to stand my ground. What is important in homemaking? Why does it matter? What is its proper contribution? Because my fatigue and stress often arise from everything seeming important, a set of priorities would certainly help. Yet, this requires a clear sense of purpose which I clearly did not have. So what is homemaking's purpose?

Is there a purpose to homemaking?

Resources that cover specifically the purpose of homemaking seem to be rare. Even books on work and vocation have little to say about homemaking's purpose. It was therefore surely by the grace of God that I stumbled upon J R Miller's Homemaking (the title could not be shorter!). Miller, an American Presbyterian pastor (20 March 1840–2 July 1912), addressed not only the practice and implementation of homemaking in his book but also penned his reflections on its theological purpose.

The home-life

The home, to Miller, is a place for spiritual growth for both parents and children. He wrote, "Homes are the real schools in which men and women are trained, and fathers and mothers are the real teachers and builders of life!" He did not mean "teaching" and "training" in the sense of a classroom; rather, he was referring to a home's influence. A home "teaches" through its culture and by way of conditioning. This culture is what Miller called the "homelife" and is an environmental entity that is curated and forged, as much by actions as by instruction. Hence, he asked, "What kind of home-life must we try to make—if we would build up noble character in our children?" The home-life is made and is the direct object of homemaking. Interestingly, this extends beyond those who stay home as homemakers: a home-life is made within every family regardless of its structure, whether for better or for worse.

What constitutes this home-life? Miller described it as "all the interactions of the members of the family". While this certainly refers to a quality of love in interpersonal communication, he had more in mind. The content of conversations—are they salutary or mere idle-talk? The quantity of time spent together—are they spent engaged or in disconnect? The quality and nature of entertainment—are they based on enjoyment or distraction? These are some of what he included in the making of a homelife. If joy and happiness feature strongly, then the home-life "is a happy art, the art of living together in tender love".

Furthermore, he wrote: "Human lives will never grow into their best in gloom. Pour the sunshine about them in youth; let them be happy; encourage all innocent joy; provide pleasant games for them; romp and play with them; be a child again among them. Then God's blessing will come upon your

(right) Writing this article while waiting at the clinic with my son, while he naps

(middle) Helping my daughter get ready for school

(far right, top)

Meat deboned, bones for stock, meat minced, vegetables diced, rice soaked … Now to do the dishes

(far right, bottom)

Being at home means capturing these precious moments of harmonious playtime

home—and your children will grow up sunny hearted, gentle, affectionate, joyous themselves and joy bearers to the world."

Stress and fear

If Miller's descriptions seem to you far too lofty to be achieved, I understand. In these two years, I have come to realise that such idyllic joy and happiness can be difficult in the face of our various stresses and fears. I, too, experience the FOMO (fear of missing out) syndrome: Am I spending enough time with my infant? Are my children developing on par with others? Should I enrol my preschooler in enrichment classes? I don't think this syndrome will ever go away.

Also, if anything, social media has made me even more vulnerable. I have caught myself gauging my efforts through the lens of effortless perfectionism that is social media. When my daughter is running late for kindergarten yet again and has not even brushed her teeth, I cannot help but wonder how other parents get their preschoolers dressed, their hair nicely braided, their teeth brushed after consuming a proper breakfast—and still be punctual? After all that, how do they manage to look immaculate as they head off to work?

Even my evenings can be likened to a game of Diner Dash: to bathe the infant, shower the preschooler, read bedtime stories to them, complete unfinished chores, connect with my wife, plan and prepare for tomorrow's meals, have some wind down time and to go to bed on time (I even feel some stress as I type this!).

I confess that far too often my days are spent in worry and haste. Stress and fear do stifle the happy home-life.

Remaining in Christ

Like many paradoxes in God's creation, a happy home-life of love, joy and peace cannot be achieved in an antithetical spirit of fear ubiquitous in life (1 John 4:18). Is this why Jesus urged us to remain in his love? (John 15). For me, this would mean at least three things: to accept my inherent finitude as God's creation in a world that does not believe in limits; to believe I am sufficient in Christ even as I work on my shortcomings; to trust that God's goodness and wisdom transcends any imperfections within my home-life. Indeed, when these themes feature strongly in my day, I also find more capacity for light-hearted laughter, attentive listening, and being a loving presence—just a few undeniable elements of a joyful homelife that nurtures for the Kingdom of God.

Outreach

Jason Chin works with regional private schools, providing consulting services in areas of curriculum development and strategic management. He worships at Christ Methodist Church and has served two terms as Vice-Chairperson of the Singapore Mission School Board. / Photos courtesy of MMS

Not the typical tentmaker

MMS' professional volunteer programme

The Singapore Mission School (SMS) in Laos began in 2010 as a playgroup for a handful of young children aged between 4 and 6 years. Since then, it has developed into a kindergarten and primary school of choice for Lao parents wanting a mission school experience for their children, one which emphasises quality education and good values.

The work of starting and running a Christian mission school is, to put it mildly, challenging. Most will understand a "good school" as one which has a strong academic curriculum, led by dynamic leaders, and taught by inspiring teachers. However, from the organisational perspective, there are also factors related to operations, statutory compliance, human resources and finance that need to be developed to make a school truly "good".

These elements can be especially demanding in jurisdictions outside of Singapore.

Through the years, the SMS and many of our sister mission schools in the region have been blessed by the work of specialist volunteers from Singapore who have contributed a unique but precious resource—their professional expertise. These "professional volunteers" visit to spend time in our classrooms and commit to long-term activities to develop specific areas of school operations.

Volunteers with teaching and school management experience have contributed in areas of:

 Mentoring teachers

 Training teachers

 Developing the curriculum

 Evaluating teaching processes

There have also been many non-teaching professional volunteers from accounting, management consulting, healthcare and technical fields, who have helped on projects related to:

 Conducting audits related to risk, safety, and internal financial processes; training and professional development for administrative staff; and health-based assessments for members of the school community

 Providing input on the work of local professionals

 Documenting operating procedures related to accounting, procurement and HR practices

 Supplementing the local workforce during crisis or transition

These volunteers sacrifice time and offer professional expertise for a sustained period. Not all are from well-to-do backgrounds, and some even leave their families behind in Singapore for weeks. The common thread that weaves these individuals together is the shared belief that their secular vocations are their ministry to God.

The service of these highly skilled professionals from Singapore complements the work of pioneering founders and school staff, especially in domains where local professional expertise may be unavailable or may not be at the level required to comply with the expectations of stakeholders in Singapore. This is crucial where adaptations and revisions of processes are required for the mission's endeavour to build capacity and develop long-term sustainability. Many of our professional volunteers serve at their own expense. Some choose to put their

careers on hold while others make off-site work arrangements while in Laos. There are certainly material and personal costs in volunteering for weeks on end.

Christians in Singapore aid our professional volunteers by offering personal financial support for outof-pocket expenses, such as airfare and accommodation. Other forms of help come from short-term missions programmes instituted by Methodist churches.

These support mechanisms are invaluable, as they reinforce the message to both our local volunteers and workers on the ground that their work is not taken for granted, and that there are people in Singapore who stand by them, in prayer and through sacrificial contributions.

To all our professional volunteers and enablers serving with us in the field—thank you! You are making a significant impact on the generations that come after us.

Eugene Chew

After receiving Christ in secondary school, Eugene Chew, who worships at Wesley Methodist Church, served as a Sunday school teacher in his late teens. He discovered an affinity for teaching which led him to embark on a teaching career lasting more than 30 years.

In 2018, Eugene responded to a challenge to use his natural giftings for missions work and went to Laos as part of a cultural outreach programme. Eventually, this led to him spending more time in Laos to help the SMS with teaching and staff training.

"Serving with dedicated believers in Laos has provided me insight into how our faith is lived outside of comfortable Singapore. This continues to challenge me to live my life meaningfully in our Lord's service."

Grace Ling

Grace Ling spent more than 30 years as a secondary school teacher before retiring 20 years ago. She keeps her professional skills relevant by taking up relief or adjunct teaching positions in MOE schools. This, in turn, supports her missions work in the region as a teaching professional. Coming from a family with four generations serving either as pastors or missionaries, Grace deems Christian work as part of her family's heritage. Grace worships at Foochow Methodist Church.

"In considering whether 'professional volunteering' is something you should do, I believe that the key priority is to seek the Lord and stay close to him as his ways are higher than our ways."

Volunteer with

us

MMS refers to professional volunteers as our "Delighters". Let us know by emailing us at mms@methodist.org.sg if you want to be a part of MMS' Delighters Fellowship.

(top) Eugene serving with other Wesley MC members to promote Singapore in Laos

(right) Thank-you notes from the students

You and Your Family

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.

Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 17 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Are you being

The client reported that she was being gaslighted! She had been trying to clarify her husband's relationship with another woman. Instead of a straight denial or admission, he turned on her and told her she was "overthinking". He then went on to run her down by accusing her of having "a suspicious mind", being "small minded" and "overly conservative". The torrent of insults and attacks left her feeling hurt and regretting having raised the subject at all. Her initial doubt of her husband's fidelity turned to doubts about herself.

Gaslighting is a word which has grown in usage in recent years. The American Psychological Association describes gaslighting as a process whereby someone attempts to manipulate another person to question their own understanding and perception of self, others and events. Continuous gaslighting causes the victim to stop making any personal opinions and taking individual action. In the long term, self-doubt can grow and result in diminishing the self. The relationship between the person being gaslighted and the person doing it generally becomes onesided—one feels dominated by the other.

Thus, the effects of continuously being subjected to this type of interaction is destructive both personally and interpersonally. Who then are more at risk of such hurt? And what can victims do?

Individuals most vulnerable to being gaslighted are those in relationships with a person who is harsh, domineering and self-centred. We all have encounters with grumpy colleagues or neighbours but we can usually shake off their unkind comments. But when they come from a family member or a spouse—someone with whom we are meant to have a close and mutually supportive relationship— gaslighting statements strike deep.

What makes their verbal barbs especially venomous is when one's view of self is also shaky. When confronted with unfair and unkind comments, those with a strong sense of self will feel indignant and will mount a strong protest. When such a reaction is not allowed or possible, they may bide their time and take the earliest opportunity to leave such oppressive relationships. A strong sense of self or selfidentity functions like an armour to protect us from the harshness that life throws at us.

For everyone who is gaslighted, there is someone with an agenda to do it. In my opening case example, it was a husband who had something to cover up. His harsh response was his attempt to deny and deflect attention away from his adultery. Likewise, in many other cases, the gaslighters may themselves be nursing a sense of insecurity; they attack others as a way of compensating for it.

How can you deal effectively with gaslighting?

First of all, it would be helpful to talk with others about your experience as well as get

their feedback to check if your perception of yourself and the other is accurate.

Second, before confronting the behaviour, ensure that you have armoured yourself. Remember, your armour is your sense of self. Make sure that your self-esteem is in good shape. This may mean taking stock of your abilities and qualities. It may be helpful to enlist some of your friends who know you well. Ask them for honest feedback about your strengths and weaknesses. Remember, too, that your selfidentity should include the very important fact that you are a child of God and are precious in his eyes.

Third, work out and rehearse with someone what you are going to say to rebuff future attempts to gaslight you. Practise responses like, "That is your opinion which I don't agree with" or "You might think that I am overly sensitive but I don't think so". Ultimately, your feelings and thoughts count too.

When we have differences with others, we should avoid gaslighting them. Instead of stubbornly pushing our own ideas through, listen to understand the other's point of view first. And when we are convinced that we have a valid point, do state it as clearly as possible without attacking the person. This way, we can avoid being in any antagonistic relationship.

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed MM’s You & Your Family column for more than 17 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Rev Tay Li Ping is currently pastoring at Christalite Methodist Chapel. Trained as an Industrial-Organisational Psychologist before becoming a pastor, Rev Tay is particularly interested in the intersection of Psychology and Theology. She is married and has five sons.

Koh Ai Jin is a registered clinical counsellor with extensive experience in marriage and family counselling, mental health concerns and psychological trauma. She runs her own practice and currently serves as Vice-President of the Association of Christian Counsellors (Singapore).

Need advice? Scan the QR code or visit https://www.methodist.org.sg/mm-atthe-well/ to submit your question. Due to space constraints and repetition of topics, we may not be able to feature all questions submitted.

Dating and Marriage

Dating a non-Christian

I've dated a few Christians in the past, but things did not work out due to various reasons such as not being financially stable and having cultural differences. Recently, I started dating a Thai lady. She is not of the same faith. I understand that as a Christian, we should not be unequally yoked. If both parties are serious and committed to work things out, should I continue dating her? I know there will be many obstacles ahead, such as my parents, who I think will object to a daughter-in-law of a different faith and nationality.  J

Benny says

Dear J,

Thank you for your question about being potentially "unequally yoked". You are worried that your growing relationship with a person of a different faith and nationality may not be well received by family and friends because of this.

This old farming term speaks of harnessing two animals to help in the hard manual work of ploughing a field. The farmer needs to make sure that both animals are harnessed and pull together to get the best results. Applied to a marriage, the concern here is that if both husband and wife have marked differences, then they will not be able to "pull together" to address the challenges of a marriage and family. Both of you seem aware of this and are "committed to work things out". This should involve a sincere attempt to understand and harmonise your beliefs. Attending Marriage Preparation Classes or classes like the Alpha course can be a way for your partner to better appreciate our views of the world and our values.

Gaining the acceptance of family and friends can prove to be another challenge. As marriage is a joining of two families and traditions, some strongly held views may surface. Should you run into strident opposition, you may consider consulting a counsellor.

Dating and Marriage

Should I stay and care for my ex-husband, who has been diagnosed with Parkinson's?

After a 22-year long marriage, I finally filed for divorce. I struggled with this decision for almost a decade. He was emotionally distant and generally a traditional, chauvinistic family man. We function like housemates who happen to share two children. A few months after the uncontested divorce was finalised by the courts, he was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. He is only 49 years old. I am at a loss for what to do—if I leave him, the caregiving burden will likely fall on the children, who will resent their mother for divorcing their father. If I stay, I will be resentful every day. What can I do now? The children are still unaware of the divorce and their father's illness.

 Troubled

Li Ping says Dear Troubled,

I hear your distress over your dilemma. There are no easy answers but allow me to suggest some factors to consider as you decide.

Firstly, you have not mentioned the role of faith in this process. If your relationship with God is important, the first person you should seek counsel from is the Lord. Has he been leading you in a particular direction?

Secondly, do not rush to make a decision. In general, it is wise not to make major decisions when one is in a state of emotional and mental distress. Take time to prayerfully and thoughtfully consider what to do.

Thirdly, your reasons for either staying or leaving stem from a negative motivation: that of a fear of triggering resentment in your children or yourself. Would you be able to reframe the situation to let your decision be driven by a positive motivation? This could be having the faith to do what you sense is right and / or out of love, such as unconditional love in action for your ex-husband who needs your care, or love for your children to shoulder this burden together with them. A decision that comes from a deep place of faith, love, even hope, will allow you to weather the inevitable difficulties that will come with whatever decision you make.

Finally, this is a complex situation involving many factors such as your relationship with your ex-husband, his relationship with his children, your financial situation, as well as your own difficult emotions. It would be best if you are able to seek wise counsel from mature brothers and sisters in Christ that you trust.

Family My daughter wants to give up on a prestigious university degree

My 21-year-old daughter is currently studying in a university overseas. She managed to enter a prestigious course that is difficult to get into and we were all very happy when she got selected. She is now in her third year of the course with one more year to go before she graduates. During her holidays, she came back home and shared that she did not want to continue her studies. She said she realised that she had no interest in this course and cannot see herself going further. We were shocked. We tried to reason with her and persuade her to finish what she began, pointing out that she would end up with no degree and would have to start from scratch again. She refuses to listen and feels that we are pressuring her because we have paid so much for her overseas education and do not want our money wasted, rather than caring for what she feels. We are also worried that she will regret her decision later. After all, she wanted to do this course. What should we do?

 Oxbridge blues

Ai Jin says Dear Oxbridge blues,

Your daughter's decision not to continue her studies into the last year is unexpected and heartbreaking for you. It is understandable that spending three years of studies at a prestigious college and not completing the last year itself is befuddling for any parent. But when did your daughter start changing her mind about the course? Could she have persevered and tried her best for a long time already, or could there have been deeper struggles which she was not willing to share with you?

Keeping her and the relationship in focus, let her know that you truly want to understand her and to see things from her point of view. Would she be willing to have a conversation to help you understand

how she arrived at this decision? It would also help you if she could share what her thoughts are about leaving without a degree, if she had thought about how that might impact her career pathway as well as her future plans, if any? What are her thoughts for you and how does she feel about the financial resources that have been put into her studies? While this conversation may not lead to a change in outcomes, it can help you come closer to accepting her decision with more empathy. At the end of this, perhaps you may be able to persuade her to consult a third party to process her thoughts independently of you.

May you entrust your daughter's plans and future to God and remember his promises in Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV), "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Walking alongside you with compassion and care ESTABLISHED SINCE 2000

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38–39

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STORIES FROM THE FIELD | HERE AM I! SEND ME!

2 July 2024 (Tuesday), 8.00 p.m. – 9.30 p.m.

Online via Zoom

Register before 1 July via www.wycliffe.sg/events

Free

Are missionaries born with exceptional gifts or talents? No! They are just ordinary people who are willing to say to an extraordinary God, "Here am I! Send me!" Come and hear how an ordinary couple served an extraordinary God in the Killing Fields, learning to overcome daily challenges by his grace.

Rev Lau Pak Soon is the speaker for this session. Rev Lau and his wife, Mui Hoon, lived and served in Cambodia for seven years, with CNEC and OMF.

Organised by Wycliffe Singapore

STEPPING UP SERIES | A CALL TO COURAGEOUS MANHOOD

18 June – 20 August 2024 (Tuesdays) except 5 August (Monday), 7.30 p.m. – 9.30 p.m.

Cru Centre, 18 Verdun Road #03-01, S207280

Register before 4 July 2024 via https://mde.cru.org.sg/event/ $50 per person (inclusive of workbook), for 10 sessions

The world needs godly men. Men who will step up and courageously lead at home, the Church, workplaces, and communities. That’s the message of Stepping Up. In a world where too many men are shrinking back, Stepping Up gives men vision and tools to live godly, courageous lives. A free preview of the first session is provided and preview attendees will have the option to join the series.

For details, email  familylife@cru.org.sg

Organised by Cru Singapore

EQUIP EVENING COURSE | THE DRAMA OF THE HISTORY OF CHRISTIANITY

8 July – 19 August 2024 (Mondays), 7.30 p.m. – 9.30 p.m.

Online via Zoom

Register before 1 July via https://www.ttc.edu.sg/english/ equip-evening-courses/the-drama-of-the-history-of-christianity/ $100 per person

The Christian faith has a history of about 2,000 years (much more if we take into account the Old Testament era). This is a period so long that most of us have difficulty comprehending its full extent. What are some of the significant events in these 2,000 years? How differently did Christians in the past understand and practise their faith? What are some lessons we can learn from the rich history of Christianity? This course will seek to answer these questions through a brief survey of the history of Christianity; provide a brief overview of some of the significant persons and events in the history of the Christian faith; and help participants reflect on how various aspects of this history might speak relevantly and powerfully to our own contexts.

Dr Leow Theng Huat is Lecturer in Theology at Trinity Theological College. His research interests include theodicy, Christology, soteriology, post-Enlightenment theology and dialectics as a theological method.

Organised by EQUIP

ACS (International)

ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an all-round English-based education for students aged 12 to 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IBDP)

Mr Christopher Hayward

Vice-Principal

For more information, please contact Joseph Ng or Serene Lim at +65 6472 1477 or admissions@acsinternational.edu.sg

Building Through Belief, this school of choice provides

• Exceptional examination results, strong value-added achievement and an all-round holistic education

• 50:50 mix of local and international teachers who uphold the dual Methodist ethos and ACS heritage

• Small class sizes with overall student-teacher ratio of 8 7 : 1

• 40 different CCAs – 16 Sporting, 12 Visual and Performing Arts, 12 Special Interest Groups

• Over 200 formal student leadership positions

• Scholarships for four Singaporeans to undertake the IBDP

Achievements include

• Students with perfect score of 45 points in IBDP

• 23 “Top in the World” awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past twelve years

• Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years

• Admissions to top universities in the UK, the US, Australia and Singapore

• PSLE and GCE ‘O’ Level students obtaining outstanding value-added examination results for the IBDP and improved pathways to good universities

• Successes at national level in Athletics, Touch Rugby, Debating, Orchestra, Volleyball, Taekwondo, Ice Hockey, Fencing, Swimming, Artistic Swimming, Rhythmic Gymnastics and Wushu.

Senior Leadership Team

Mr Gavin Kinch Principal Mrs Tan Siew Hoon Vice-Principal

Dr Kristopher Achter Vice-Principal

Raymond Gabriel Jeyaraj worships at Pasir Panjang Tamil Methodist Church and serves as ETAC's Worship & Music Ministry Chairperson. / Photo courtesy of Raymond Gabriel Jeyaraj

God sustained me through seasons of challenges

(from left to right) Raymond, his wife Anitha, and daughters, Kerithika and Harsheenee

My personal journey with the Lord began when I was 13 years old. At a youth camp, I made the decision to give my life to the Lord and accept him as my personal saviour. It was a decision that would shape the rest of my life.

Through the different roles I played in ministry, each with its own challenges and distractions, I know now I was being shaped for greater purposes and learnt to rely solely on God.

In my 20s, I served as President of the Methodist Youth Fellowship at Pasir Panjang Tamil Methodist Church (PPTMC) for four years. During this time, my father passed away and I became the sole breadwinner for my family. It meant that I had to spend time working and rarely had enough sleep. But God sustained me.

Then I served in the music and worship ministry. It was this season that my mother was not well and I had to care for her and accompany her on countless hospital visits.

Today I serve as the chairperson of ETAC Music & Worship Ministry and LCEC Chairperson. Reflecting upon my life, I see that God was willing to use me and mould me, a young man with a pair of drumsticks and a desire to serve the Lord and give me greater responsibilities each time.

Kopi kakis

by Lau Peng Leong, Yen Tun I and Zachary Yong

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