You & Your Family ¢ Benny Bong has been a family and marital therapist for more than 30 years, and is a certified work-life consultant. He was the first recipient of the AWARE Hero Award, received in 2011, and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.
Change, obsession and keeping up
I
am not sure when it happened. Neither do I know
physical body knows it is not so. But what about other
how it happened. What I do know is its signs. What I
aspects of our lives like the cognitive and emotional?
am referring to is losing the fight with change.
Do they “age” at the same rate and manner? There are also those who are so ready to embrace stagnation that
It began with a feeling and then the realisation that
they may actually age faster. “Use it or lose it” we are
I was having difficulty keeping up with change.
reminded. An earlier-than-useful resignation to the
Following this realisation was resignation and a slow
process of aging may lead us to reject trying new ideas
disengagement, at least in certain aspects of life. For
and things with the excuse that we are “old already”.
example, after being hounded to adopt a paperless
So, my suggestion is to adopt an attitude that is open
mode of staying in touch with my bank account, I tried
to change and resist the urge to age before our time.
several times to set up a e-banking. But after several
When it comes, it comes; we need not rush toward it.
failed attempts, coupled with much frustration, I gave up. Secondly, quit whining. The “good old days” are gone, Change, we are often told, is a constant. In order to
so comparing the present with the past is futile. As
progress—nay, survive—in the modern world, we must adapt
believers, we should stop comparing and complaining
and change. Swim with the tide of change; or be engulfed.
because we have the hope of a much brighter future with incorruptible bodies that will neither age nor tire.
It seems that there are two slopes on the trajectory of change. We are either on the upward incline, moving
The third suggestion is to trust not so much in the
up the change curve, or on the downward decline.
constancy of change or on our ability to keep up with it.
Emotionally, we may either feel anxious about keeping
Instead, view change through the lens of God as sovereign
up or setting the pace of change, or be sad about losing
over all. If God, in His infinite wisdom, deems fit for us
the familiar and fearful about being able to cope.
to keep up with some changes, so be it. And if some changes pass us by, we need not be anxious because
What should our attitude towards change be? Let me
our dependency is on Him. He knows exactly what needs
make a few suggestions for consideration.
updating, replacing and improving and what does not.
Firstly, we can embrace change and innovation. This
As we prepare for the season of Lent, let us reflect if we
mindset works on the premise that we can continually
should surrender to Him our obsessions or anxiety about
adapt and grow, and there is no upper limit to growth.
keeping up with change.
Now, the sceptic in me reminds me that with age, my
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METHODIST MESSAGE March 2021
