Methodist Message: October 2022

"Our kids are not judged here" Special needs ministry at Faith Methodist Church

health story:

suicidal, now with unending hope

like me:

in the prison fellowship ministry

Bishop’s Message

Bishop Dr Gordon Wong was elected Bishop of The Methodist Church in Singapore in 2020. He served as President of the Trinity Annual Conference from 2013–2020.

When I feel mentally unwell

"Make mental health and well-being for all a global priority."

This is the slogan adopted by the World Health Organization for this year’s World Mental Health Day (10 October 2022). 1 Recent years have generated more awareness of the importance of mental health and the nature of mental illness wh ich afflicts far more of us than we think or admit. We would be wise to acquaint ourselves with the different ways in which we can promote stronger mental health in our families and friends. 2

The Lord Jesus Christ, almost 2000 years ago, had already taught his disciples important ways to promote mental health and to cope with periodic bouts o f mental illness.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-29 NIV

Especially in times when I feel mentally weak and unwell, it ha s helped me to read and hear the advice and invitation of the Lord Jesus to learn "gentlenes s" and to "find rest for [my] soul".

May we as a Church help each other, and our neighbours, find me ntal health and well-being for our weary souls.

1 https://www.who.int/campaigns/worldmental-health-day/2022

2 Visit this website for suggestions on dealing with mental health https:// www.who.int/westernpacific/activities/ promoting-mental-health

"Have A Rest. All Is Well.", Love Supermarket Series card designed by www. TheCommandment.com. Used with permission.

Tamil Methodist Church (Short Street) celebrates her 135th anniversary

As Tamil Methodist Church (Short Street), or SSTMC as it is commonly known, celebrates her 135th anniversary this year, we give thanks to the Lord for His faithfulness from generation to generation.

In 1884, the South Indian Annual Conference appointed Rev William F Oldham as a missionary to Singapore. Oldham, accompanied by Rev and Mrs James Thoburn, arrived in Singapore on 7 February 1885, to pioneer the Methodist work here. A Tamil-speaking Englishman, William Oldham had a strong yearning to bring the gospel to the Tamils in Singapore. In September 1885, with his fluency in Tamil, Oldham began holding regular Sunday services in the prisons for incarcerated Tamil prisoners. By the end of 1886, regular Sunday and weekday services were being held in Tamil.

In 1887, a Tamil preacher, C W Underwood, was recruited from Jaffna, Ceylon, to work with the Tamil people. The first Tamil Methodist Church was thus established with Underwood as her pastor. This then became the second Methodist Church in Singapore.

First located in Serangoon Road, the congregation grew quickly and the church relocated to Short Street by 1889, serving both the Sri Lankan Tamils and South Indians in Singapore. Located in the heart of the city close to Little India, SSTMC is well positioned to reach out to the Indian population at large. Through SSTMC, seven more churches and one preaching point were formed. To date, SSTMC has seen 33 pastors; the current Pastor-in-Charge is Rev Albert Vijay Joseph.

To commemorate this milestone anniversary, our senior members share their memories and God's faithfulness to the church.

"My family and I attended SSTMC since the 1940s, about 80 years ago. The church was vibrant with various ministries—Choir, Sunday school, Bible studies, Fellowships and so on. Close friendships were forged, each one of us encouraging and supporting one other which strengthened our spiritual growth. By his grace, I continue to worship and serve in our church."

 Mrs J N Selvarajoo, 95

Sabina Molly is a member of Tamil Methodist Church (Short Street).

NewsShe serves as the Secretary in the Local Church Executive Committee, Vice-President of the Women’s Society of Christian Service and Chairperson of the Outreach & Social Concerns ministry.

/ Photos courtesy of the Masillamoney family, John Mahindapala and Daniel Gunaseelan

"My parents arrived from Sri Lanka in the 1900s and attended SSTMC. In the late 1940s, we looked forward to church picnics where we would cook chicken curry and other foods. One year we were unable to have the picnic as polio was rampant, so we gathered at the home of Rev C B Paul. He lived in a house that faced the sea. We had a good time, but we could not swim! For Sunday school we looked forward to the Christmas plays and I performed in the nativity story when I was 12 years old."

 Mrs Daisy Mahindapala, 83

Mr and Mrs John and Daisy Mahindapala (in grey suit and orange sari) and family

"It was the 1970s. I was a Buddhist. Three months after I converted and accepted Jesus as my Saviour, I helped with the church accounts. During that time, I worked at a bank. The accounts were written in hardcover books then. We bought ledger books and started writing the accounts in the proper way. I served as a church treasurer for many years. I remember the day we returned from the holding site to our new building, and the cornerstone was laid by the Bishop Ho Chee Sin. It was a joyous day indeed."

 Mr John Mahindapala, 91

"My association with SSTMC dates back to the era of my grandfather, a pioneer himself. I walked in my mother’s footsteps, serving God in many roles at SSTMC. I learnt from the pioneers, of this institution, and the meaning of Christian stewardship. In doing so, I emulated their formula of faithfulness which is to leave yourself at the door of the church and enter his gates, his presence, to serve and glorify his name."

 Mrs Veronica Poore, 82

"Our parents and their nine children, the Masillamoneys, joined Tamil Methodist Church in the 1900s when we lived at Mt Sophia, under the leadership of Rev M R Doraisamy. Growing up, we were involved in many ministries, and our best memories of SSTMC are the Christmas plays, Methodist Youth Fellowship and Carol Parties. We served in the Sunday school and the choir. Our late eldest brother, John, was involved in the formation of the Punjabi congregation, back in 1953, together with the late Bishop Emeritus Dr T R Doraisamy. To our family, SSTMC is more than a place of worship—it is our second family. As SSTMC celebrates its 135th anniversary, we are both blessed and honoured to be part of this heritage. Great is Thy Faithfulness!"

 Ms Elizabeth Masillamoney, 88 and Ms Naomi Masillamoney, 86

"My wife and I are from Sri-Lanka, and we made Singapore our home in 1972. We worshipped at SSTMC from that time until 2021, when we moved to Australia. I have very strong ties with SSTMC and have dedicated myself and resources to glorify God’s name through regular church attendance, giving and serving in various committees. God used my professional skills and expertise for the rebuilding of the church that took place in 1986. I will cherish the memories of being one with the members and pastors of SSTMC in my worship and service. To God Be the Glory!"

 Mr Daniel A Gunaseelan

Mr and Mrs Daniel A Gunaseelan

Ms Elizabeth Masillamoney (left) and Ms Naomi Masillamoney (right)

Motivating Creation Care with hope, not fear

Care

T he topic of climate change can sometimes have the unintended effect of stirring up feelings of negativity, as one calls to mind teenage activist Greta Thunberg's "How dare you" speech and the pessimistic urging of environmentalists everywhere we turn. The idea is to paint a grim picture in the hope of instigating action. But while such strategies can spark action in the short term, it can be unhelpful in the long run as negative rhetoric gradually erodes a sense of hope.

It was therefore timely that Creation Care SG—an organisation started by a group of undergraduates—organised its inaugural conference. Titled "The Garden of Eden", the conference steered away from

pessimistic rhetoric and, instead, sought to advocate Creation Care by invoking a sense of wonder for God's creation. Held at Katong Presbyterian Church (KPC) from 9-10 September 2022, about 100 participants gathered to hear a keynote address, attend various workshops, and discuss with a diverse panel.

Creation Care: A dignified aspect of discipleship

The keynote address, titled "Creation Care and the Gospel", was delivered by Mr Leow Wen Pin, Lecturer in Biblical and Interdisciplinary Studies at the Biblical Graduate School of Theology (BGST). In his address, Mr Leow surveyed Scripture to trace a tri-fold pattern of creation,

Terence Chua worships at Living Hope Methodist Church and is studying at Trinity Theological College. / Photos courtesy of Terence Chua

Keynote speaker Mr Leow Wen Pin

Bug educator Mr James Khoo introducing the short, but busy, life of a Rhino beetle

uncreation and new creation that repeats throughout God's salvation story. Creation (referring both to things created and the act of caring for creation), he explained, is intrinsic to both the Good News and discipleship. God's New Creation—the "new heaven and new earth" in Rev 21—is an embodied and created reality. Learning to live sustainably within a created order, whether new or old, is a dignified aspect of discipleship.

A particularly memorable workshop was conducted by Mr James Khoo, who calls himself a 'bug educator' seeking to inspire an appreciation of Singapore's biodiversity. He also nurtured an amiability between the participants and his insect friends to dispel any misconceptions about insects. Participants got to examine a beehive up close, hold a grub, and even taste two species of ants! Also, by raising awareness of the ecological function of insects, Mr Khoo roused a sense of wonder for God's creation and even drew theological lessons from them.

Sustainability-conscious discipleship

The keynote's theme was shared across the various workshops conducted, as they sought to advocate a way of life that was more conscious of sustainability. Different workshop speakers proposed different means. Among them were Rev Lam Kuo Yong, Senior Pastor of KPC, who spoke of the joys of nurturing a simple lifestyle (as defined by the Lausanne Movement) amidst a culture of uncritical consumerism; Dr Eunice Ng, Lecturer at NUS' Ridge View Residential College, who suggested making financial and business decisions taking into account how commons (i.e. shared communal resources like water and the environment) are treated; and Ps Jenni Ho-Huan, founder of To Really Live, who raised awareness of how a fast and hurried pace of city life is distinct from a savoured, abundant life of gratitude and joy.

The conference concluded with a Q&A session with panelists of diverse backgrounds. Alongside KPC's Rev Lam were environmental studies undergraduate Ms Kezia Khoo, missiologist Dr Kwa Kiem Kiok and Hitachi engineer Mr Jonathan Lee. Despite their diverse backgrounds, there was a shared sentiment that infusing Creation Care into Christian discipleship, through a sense of wonder for God's creation, will derive more sustainable action than employing shame-based methods. Particularly inspiring was Rev Lam's sharing of KPC's 10-year journey of incorporating Creation Care into the church's ethos—from furnishing their then-newly-built church with pre-owned furniture, to installing pre-owned playground apparatus and partnering local authorities in a beach cleanup at East Coast Park.

Methodist Preschools recognises loyal staff with Long Service Awards

This year, 29 staff from the family of Methodist preschools received Long Service Awards at a Teacher's Day luncheon held on 26 August 2022. The event, which was sponsored by the Council of Education, was a gathering of all 11 Methodist preschools which operate on Methodist church premises. The Council promotes and coordinates the work and development of Methodist schools, colleges and preschools and ensures that the Christian character of Methodist schools is preserved and enhanced.

Bishop Emeritus Dr Chong Chin Chung, who was the guest-of-honour, spoke about the Chinese saying

, which means to do something even though it is an impossible or difficult feat, but to do it nonetheless because it is right. He reminded them that God has shown he will go ahead to do impossible feats, and encouraged the teachers to persevere in their noble profession as educators and not to give up on their students.

Some of the Long Service Award recipients—who have served from 5 to 30 years in a Methodist preschool—share why they stay true to their calling and what they enjoy most about their vocation.

(Translated from Mandarin)

"I love children, so I joined this big family at Toa Payoh Methodist Preschool after graduation. I derive a sense of contentment and joy as I watch the little children mature in various areas and grow in character. I am rewarded in my work experience and friendship through collaboration with my colleagues and enjoy the warmth of interaction with the children. I am rewarded with respect from parents and receive affirmation from the principal."

14 recipients who received Long Service Awards this year

杨老师 Ms Yeo Ai Boon Chinese Teacher Toa Payoh Methodist Preschool 20 years of service

By Chan Yuey Sum, Marketing Manager at Methodist Preschool Services Pte Ltd.

/ Photos courtesy of Methodist Preschool Services

林老师 Ms Lim Sue Mien Lead Teacher (Chinese) Bedok Methodist Preschool 10 years of service

(Translated from Mandarin)

"When the children see us every day, they greet, 'Teacher!' and hug us—that makes me most happy. Seeing them develop healthily, glean knowledge and be able to communicate with me in Chinese make me really happy! I have learnt how to help children enjoy their lessons, by making lessons vibrant and interesting. This is something that makes my journey with fellow teachers and principal a memorable one. At Bedok Methodist Preschool, it is a place filled with love. I have gained friendships here. There’s always someone ready to support you and help you when you encounter difficulties. I am truly grateful for that."

Ms Lim Lilian English Teacher

Foochow Methodist Preschool 10 years of service

"I am passionate about teaching young children. I enjoy relating to them, sharing Bible stories, praying with them and singing praises to the Lord. It is most fulfilling and satisfying to be able to impart good moral values to the children and make a difference in their lives, especially children with special needs. Teaching in a Christian preschool is a meaningful ministry—God has called me to labour together with him and with fellow colleagues. I am thankful to God for his strength that has enabled me all these years."

Ms Jocelyn Tan Lew Cheng English Teacher

Bedok Methodist Preschool 5 years of service

"For me, the greatest reward in working in a faithbased preschool is that I came back to the Lord and my faith has been strengthened through the daily worship. I treasure the moments when former students remember us and visit us during special occasions. It is also heartwarming when graduates and their parents recognise and acknowledge us even when we meet them outside of school."

Mdm Guok Ching King Cook

Foochow Methodist Preschool 30 years of service

(Translated from Mandarin)

"My job as a cook is to do marketing, cook for the children and teachers, and wash dishes daily. I feel happy when I see that children and teachers enjoy the food that I cook. The children's favourite dishes are macaroni soup and fruit salad. For the fussy eaters, I encourage them to finish their food before serving fresh fruit. At Foochow Methodist Preschool, it is like a family. I would like to continue working as a cook at Foochow!"

王老师 Ms Wang Ying

Chinese Teacher

Sengkang Methodist Preschool 5 years of service

(Translated from Mandarin)

"I choose to be a preschool teacher because I like to be with children. To me, every child is an angel! The love of a teacher toward a child is a source of power and a prerequisite for healthy development. I am willing to give my love and care toward these children. When they express their love to me through words and actions, it makes me very happy."

We are not alone. Our kids are not judged here."

Faith Methodist Church's special needs ministry makes every child feel like a gem

(Right)

Adrian, Melinda and their sons

T he GEMs (God Enables Me) programme run by the Children's Ministry at Faith Methodist Church (FMC) started in 2004 with the mission of reaching out to children with special needs, and helping them learn about God and the Bible. It began with five children and now, nearly two decades later, there are 20 participants between the ages of 12 and 29, who have medical or developmental conditions such as global developmental delay (GDD), cerebral palsy (CP) and autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

The two founding members, Ms Janice Choo and Ms Christina Lim, have children of their own with special needs. Janice has two boys, aged 24 years and 23 years, who have dyspraxia and ASD respectively. Christina’s daughter, Gracia, is 29 years old and has CP. They found that the large group format at the usual Sunday school could not keep their children fully engaged. And so, they decided to see if they could start a separate programme for their children.

Children with special needs can be discipled

However, Janice and Christina faced challenges when starting this ministry.

"There was a lot of resistance. People didn't believe that kids with special needs could learn. They thought that it was enough to give them some space to have fun, make friends and pick up general life skills. But we believe that children with special needs can be discipled and that God will help them learn biblical truths. Hence, we went against the odds and worked with the Children's Ministry to get GEMs started," Janice said.

Ms Pearly Sim, pastoral staff-in-charge of the Children's Ministry at FMC, adds, "Every person is special to God, whatever his or her abilities or needs. Our mission is to reach out and help them to become fully-devoted followers of Jesus Christ."

"

Kate Lim is a speech therapist and worships at Aldersgate Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of Faith Methodist Church and Kate Lim

(Top)

Janice and her sons (Left)

L to R Joanna, Christina and Gracia

According to Janice, about half of the families came to FMC because of GEMs.

Catering to special needs

Much thought is put into how the sessions are run and the needs of the participants are prioritised. For instance, curriculum and devotional materials are selected to cater to participants who learn better with visual cues. Worship songs that have actions or come with American sign language enable those who are less verbal to worship with the rest.

"We try to select songs which are not too loud because some participants are easily triggered by loud sounds," said Janice.

One team member, who the children know as "Teacher Juliana", used to teach in special education schools. She leads the craft preparation team which collates materials and tries out various modes of lesson instructions to engage the children and youth.

"The GEMs ministry is blessed with support from the church and many volunteers," Christina said, grateful that the team is able to take on a range of roles including befriending, teaching, worship leading, lesson preparation and follow-up to reinforce Bible lessons.

Presently, the GEMs programme is conducted in hybrid mode—a combination of on-site and online lessons.

However, a lot of preparation and extra work is required to run the programme in hybrid mode. The team not only has to ensure that the on-site programme is running smoothly with properly set-up materials, but also see to it that supplies for craft activities and devotion materials are sent to the members prior to the online sessions. Extra work aside, this has proven to be a blessing in disguise.

"The hybrid model enabled us to remain connected with our members, especially when Covid-19 safe management measures were in place. Additionally, people who were

previously unable to join us due to a long commute or mobility issues, are now able to participate virtually," said Janice.

Blessed to be a blessing

Thanks to GEMs, the participants with special needs are now able to partake in rituals that many of us take for granted. Joanna, who has epilepsy and mild intellectual disability, recalled her experience partaking in Holy Communion and could say with conviction, "Jesus died on the cross for us!"

However, participants at GEMs are not merely recipients; they encourage and bless others too. Once, Juliana shared with Gracia, who is usually reticent and not able to express herself verbally, that she was in pain. "She did not say much at the time but I found out later that Gracia went home and prayed for Teacher Juliana to be well."

Mr Brian Lim, a volunteer who helps with IT and equipment set-up, was moved when he saw GEMs members respond to worship and the Word. He said, "We may be helping the members learn about God but through their expressions of love for God, I find myself drawing closer to God too."

A safe place

The GEMs ministry has become a source of support and friendship for both parents and their children. "GEMs is like a family. It is a safe place where they can be who they are," Janice said.

Mr Adrian Chong and his wife, Melinda, have been attending GEMs for 15 years with their twin autistic boys, Alex and Benjamin, aged 24 years. Melinda, who also helps in the worship team, said, "Prior to GEMs, we spent two years in the wilderness, having left our church because the kids could not fit in with the church's mainstream nursery group due to their behavioural issues."

Parents of children with special needs often have to deal with judgement from strangers who do not understand why their children seem so badly behaved.

"We are not alone. Our kids are not judged here."

Young Voices

Alfie Lim is a 28-year-old lawyer and serves in the Youth Ministry at Christalite Methodist Chapel. / Photo courtesy of Alfie Lim

"Meltdowns in public were very frequent when they were younger. They would roll on the ground, scream and cry loudly, bite, kick and hit us," shared Melinda.

"I can still recall one particularly stressful incident. The boys went totally berserk at an MRT station when they were about 15 years old. Benjamin was triggered by something and started shouting. That affected Alex. Both started running around and shouting, alarming the other commuters. My helper felt helpless and was sobbing away. I rushed down to find the three of them in a room with nine station control staff trying to calm them down. I felt so humiliated, desperate, frustrated and stressed."

To find a place like GEMs has been a huge relief for Adrian and Melinda. "We feel very well supported here. We are not alone. Our kids are not judged for their behaviour. It is like a big family where the children can make friends outside school. The children look forward to attending GEMs every Sunday," she adds.

The blessing that the GEMs ministry brings is best expressed by its members.

"Yi Cai and I were in the same school but we never met in school. We met here. I like to dance and worship God with my good friend, Yi Cai," said Joanna.

Yi Cai, who is autistic, nodded in agreement.

The GEMs team welcomes volunteers to join them in their mission.

Email Pearly Sim at pearlysim@faithmc.sg for more information.

"I am thankful I got caught because otherwise I would have just continued what I was doing."

"Actually, we can be thankful that we have food and a roof over our heads."

These are snippets of what inmates have shared with me in my short time volunteering with the prison fellowship ministry.

The story begins sometime in late 2020, shortly before Covid-19 hit. I had borrowed and read Jason Wong’s Trash of Society: Setting Captives Free. The book traces the author’s journey of faith and work, including, among other things, his substantive contributions to the Yellow Ribbon Project and his years working for the Singapore Prison Service. It revealed to me a compelling alternative vision of hope and flourishing even in the midst of what most reasonable persons would consider to be a terrible state of affairs—imprisonment. After some prayer and reflection, I signed up as a volunteer with Prison Fellowship Singapore, to support their work despite being relatively young compared to the typical volunteer in this ministry, as I only came to realise subsequently.

Even though I have some understanding of the criminal justice system in Singapore, I was fairly unsure about what to expect in my first few Christian Counselling sessions with the inmates. That was (and is) not helped by the fact that on most occasions, I would be the youngest person in the room. Thankfully, with the guidance of my buddy (who is much more experienced and winsome than I), I have grown to become more familiar with the setting and expectations. The sessions typically comprise three segments— worship, Bible study and discussion where time permits—not unlike most cell-group gatherings we would be familiar with. Most of the inmates who attend grew up in a Christian background or came to Christ in the course of their imprisonment sentence, and attend these sessions by choice.

In this connection, two things stood out as I reflected upon my volunteering experience.

First, these inmates that I have met are in many ways similar to me—most notably and crucially, sinful and broken. Whilst most of us may not have committed crimes or been imprisoned as such, the reality I have come to increasingly (but not yet fully) appreciate is that, without exception, all have fallen short of the glory of God. There is absolutely no room for moral high ground or any standing before God apart from the singular work of Christ on the Cross. None of this should be misconstrued as a flippant view of crime and punishment. However, without traversing the obviously complex terrain that is criminology, my modest view is that as Christians we should be slow to cast the proverbial stone at any of these inmates. Here I am reminded of the fundamental truth of the imago Dei and the pithy words of Timothy Keller from his book The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God , "The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope."

Second, we are called to seek the shalom or peace of the community we live in. This calling is outlined in Jeremiah 29:1-7. Briefly, the Israelites were in exile in

Babylon but instead of "rescuing them", God instructed them to build houses, plant gardens, take wives and have children, among other things. The common thread here is that the various acts involve embedding or committing oneself to a place. Jeremiah goes on to behove the Israelites to seek the welfare of Babylon for therein, they will find their welfare, before setting out God’s promise that he has a plan and future for those in exile.

We, too, are sojourners here for a finite span of time. Culture often peddles the dubious narrative that idolises fleeting relationships, frenetic activity and newfangled interests over faithful, consistent "day-in, day-out" commitment. I suspect that for young persons, that narrative takes on a particular sheen. Jeremiah instead encourages us to sink roots in our communities even where it is difficult. A significant part of this, in my view, entails looking at the felt needs in our community, and discerning where and how we can each make a contribution to its welfare, particularly in respect of the forgotten and downtrodden.

It is sometimes tempting to think of God’s calling as something extraordinary— however, if we pay closer attention, there are many ordinary, simple but no less powerful ways of glorifying God. I trust that whatever your contribution, you, too, will be ministered to in the process.

Alfie Lim

Once suicidal and broken, now with unending hope

A quick look through the Instagram page of Actspressions reveals the works of Jolyn Ng, all bold, bright, and beautiful. This is a person who is clearly unafraid of colour. She candidly shares, "I used to ask God why he gave me a skill that is not as functional as doctors' or civil engineers'. He spoke to me in a sunset: 'Why must the sun set beautifully? Why is the sky orange and pink?' I realised that God is creative and humans are made to behold beauty. I hope that the art in Actspressions helps people see that."

With each joyous paintbrush stroke, Jolyn tells a layered story of the darkness she encountered before arriving in the light where she is today. At 19, she was diagnosed with clinical depression. "Hospitals, suicidal tendencies, anti-depressants and the whole sense of despair and hopelessness are familiar things to me. I was suicidal, broken and I had lost all hope."

The trigger

Having attended an elite school, it would seem that Jolyn had many good things going for her. In truth, she was struggling academically and socially. "I didn't have any [godly] role model since I wasn't from a Christian family. I was not sure of my values and didn't have a compass for life. Eventually, I stumbled into bad company. I also had a lot of relationship problems; I think that was the main thing that broke me as a young girl. I wanted to find love and acceptance, but it quickly unravelled and bordered on sexual abuse. I was very broken and felt rejected and worthless."

At 16, Jolyn's life took a hopeful turn when she encountered Christ at a youth camp. But though she had hoped her relationships would be different from then on, she was soon disappointed. "I thought that a Christian guy would be different in relationships. However, the guy I was

This article was first published in Kallos Issue 41 and reproduced with permission.

Photos courtesy of Kallos

dating led me to fall into sexual sin. When I stopped it, he broke up with me."

To add on to this, two of her friends in church also started distancing themselves from her. "I think these two incidents were the trigger (for depression). It brought back a lot of my past hurts and my feelings of worthlessness and abandonment."

The intervention

Thankfully, Jolyn had a friend in her cell group who was a professional counsellor. One day, her friend carefully broached the topic: "Jolyn, I think you might have depression."

"I didn't really understand what that meant so I said no, I don't have depression. I thought depression was something uncontrollable, but I was still functioning. She explained that 'depression is an illness, like a fever. You know anyone can get a fever, right? But some have a lower immune system which makes them more susceptible to having a fever. It is possible to recover without medication or treatment, but it might escalate or be more painful.' She asked if she could bring me to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed. She also offered to call my parents and explain the situation to them. I was directed to her counselling centre, where I received therapy for a few months. That was how I was officially diagnosed."

The lowest point

Despite undergoing therapy, it was not sunshine all the time. She likens it to taking two steps forward and one step back.

One night, after months of seriously contemplating suicide, Jolyn reached her breaking point. Pensively, she recounts, "My good friend was going to Nepal for a mission trip, my then-boyfriend was going to Malaysia for a Christian camp, and my sister was leaving for a choir camp in Hong Kong. All these close friends were leaving the next day and I just couldn't handle it."

She spent the night writing farewell letters to different people. She also wrote to God saying, "I want to honour you but it's so painful and so difficult, I cannot do it." The next day, while out with one of her friends, she abruptly left and texted her friend not to look for her. Aware that Jolyn was in a raw mental state but unable to accompany her, she called another friend from church to be with Jolyn. This other friend followed Jolyn around and refused to leave her.

"I was very angry. I told her to leave me alone. I asked, 'If you really love me, why would you want to see me suffering and in pain?' She responded, 'Jolyn, how do you expect me to leave you?' Her tenderheartedness made me cry."

Jolyn's parents, who had been alerted by her friend, were also frantically searching

"I asked, 'If you really love me, why would you want to see me suffering and in pain?'"

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Once suicidal and broken, now with unending hope

for her. When Jolyn's mum finally found her, she was at breaking point.

"When I saw my mum, she broke down and said, 'Please, can we just go to the hospital? I don't know what to do. I cannot help you.' When I saw how broken and helpless she was, I agreed to go to the hospital."

The road to recovery

Jolyn was hospitalised for a week, and upon her discharge, she had to work with social workers for a few months. While she acknowledges that overcoming depression looks different for everyone, she highlighted three things that have been instrumental in her recovery.

The first was education. She explains: "Imagine a line with two spectrums— extreme happiness and extreme sadness. Everyone is on this line; most people are somewhere nearer to the happy side on normal days. But there are also bad days and you veer towards the sad end. It happens to everyone. When you stay too long and close to the sad end that it begins to affect your daily life and how you function, that's when you get diagnosed with depression."

The second was counselling, which she credits as the biggest factor in her recovery. "I had a recurring nightmare about someone who wanted to catch me in my home. I had another nightmare where I was getting raped. I told my counsellor about them and as she is a Christian, she said, 'Why don't we both kneel on the floor and pray?' Since then, I've never had those nightmares again!"

The third was people who cared. "Someone from my cell group would call me at 10 p.m. daily to pray with me. Some days I didn't feel like picking up the phone! But over time, I realised that I was held together by a group of people who cared."

The present

Today, Jolyn acknowledges that her life is good. She got married in July last year, and continues to think about how she can grow her business in spite of the stress and difficulties associated with a start-up.

When asked if she thinks a struggle with mental health can ever be truly "over", she pauses, before stating, "I don't think so. I won't say that I struggle with mental health now, but I still struggle with bad thoughts and how to cope with overwhelming emotions."

When she feels herself slipping into negative patterns of thought again, she is able to recognise it and put a conscious stop to it. "I am someone who feels things deeply and is very sensitive to the world. When I am affected by something, I tell myself that these intense emotions will pass. It can just be a bad day or week, and I don't let it shape my entire outlook on life."

Now, Jolyn describes herself as "a small person with big dreams of great love being shared". With each daily step and every artwork she puts out into the world, Jolyn aims to live up to the motto of Actspressions, inspired by a quote from Mother Teresa—to do small things with great love.

From The Editors:

October is the birthday month of Methodist Message (MM). In this special feature, we focus on the work of the early Methodists in Singapore and Malaysia through the lens of MM. The Methodists, following Wesley's example, were always plugged into the issues of the day, working to improve education and social equality, and sharing the gospel. It is not lost upon us that MM serves as a precious record of God's faithfulness to the Methodists here. Today we hope that MM, in both its print and digital formats, will continue to play this role, to edify and inspire the Methodist community and beyond.

The story of the Methodist Message Declare His Praise in the Islands

So runs the tagline under the masthead on the cover of the inaugural issue of The Malaysia Message (TMM) in October 1891, precursor of the Methodist Message that you are reading now. Where was this tagline derived from? Google gave the answer in a flash—it is from Isaiah 42:12 (KJV):

This quote plainly expressed the defining purpose and earnest conviction accompanying the foreign missionaries of the Methodist Episcopal Mission (MEM) to our shores more than 100 years ago. TMM was founded as a broadcast to keep their supporters back home apprised of their work and news in this far-flung region.

Published monthly, except for two breaks during World War II and immediately after (from Jan 1942 to Nov 1946, and for 10 months in 1947), TMM is probably the longest-running compendium of Methodist church history in Singapore and the region, tracking 131 years to date.

The first issue carried a sober reminder that faith and resolve alone could not always surmount the difficulty of acclimatising to the tropics. The two greats of Methodism in Singapore, Bishop William F Oldham and Bishop James Thoburn, both featured in it—Oldham had returned to America where his health was "improving",

Inaugural issue of TMM, Oct

Lucy Cheng worships at Wesley Methodist Church and serves in their BeTween ministry.

Photos reproduced with the assistance of MCS Archives

"Let them give glory unto the Lord, and declare his praise in the islands."

Thoburn had "been obliged to lay down work for several weeks, and take to the mountains for rest". While their absences were temporary, J C Floyd, TMM’s first editor, had to bid farewell permanently after only four issues. Struck down by a "serious illness", his physicians had advised him "restoration to health is very improbable in this climate", and that he should "immediately return to a colder region".

With Floyd’s departure, W G Shellabear became editor in Feb 1892. However, shortly after, his wife’s health necessitated their temporary return to England: apparently England’s "bracing air" would do more for her than "even the salubrious air of Tanjong Katong".

The role of the American Mission Press Shellabear was manager of the American Mission Press (AMP) which he founded in December 1890. AMP operated from a “dwelling-house at the corner of Selegie/ Sophia Roads", moving later to 28 Raffles

You Know?

Subscriptions

In Oct 1891, TMM cost 75 cents for 12 monthly issues. Four months later, the price had been fine-tuned: 75 Mexican cents in the Straits Settlements, 1 Mexican dollar "elsewhere in the East", 2s 6d "in the British Isles" and 60 American cents "in America". Remarkably, the numerical values remained almost unchanged for the next 50 years! How did TMM sustain itself, apart from donations and gifts?

Subscription rates, Jan 1892

Place where the Methodist Book Room, which opened in November 1893, was also located. AMP was the printer/publisher of TMM from its inception, and was officially renamed Methodist Publishing House in October 1906. Shellabear deserves acclaim not only for his Malay writings and Malay translation of the Bible published by AMP, but for periodically stepping up as TMM editor until as late as December 1915.

One of TMM’s first-articulated aims was "to promote individual growth in grace and the advancement of the cause of righteousness in this part of the world". Ignoring denominational differences, TMM not only published MEM news but also contributions from other denominations like the English Presbyterian Mission (EPM) and Anglicans. News came from all over—besides Singapore and Malaya, missionaries wrote in from British North Borneo, Batavia and Sumatra. EPM once reported that the Sultan of Johore gifted "an excellent site for our Mission buildings at Bandarmabarami, Muar along with a sum of $1,000, a third of the total estimated cost of $3,000".

Addressing the problems in society in the late 1800s and early 1900s

In October 1891, a Women’s Christian Temperance Union existed, with the aim of "striving to free the world from one of its most blighting evils—the evil from intoxicating drinks". Among other acts of service, visits to pauper and leper hospitals were reported.

Other institutions in place were St Andrew’s House "to train the young in Christian lines"; a Children’s Home; an Industrial Home on Sophia Road for "destitute women and girls"; a Prison Ministry with segregated preachings to Malay, Chinese and Kling groups; a Sailors’ Ministry; and the Epworth League (precursor of Methodist Youth Fellowship).

The early issues of TMM yield substantial insight into the deplorable societal problems, customs and practices of that era. For example, an opinion piece in October 1891 advocated one day of rest in a week as "God’s gift to the labouring man" which was not the norm then.

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For more than a decade, TMM fearlessly condemned opium consumption, trafficking, and the attendant evils of gambling and drinking. Citing the spread of opiumsmoking from China to all over Indo-China, Siam, the Straits Settlements, Malaysia, Burmah and India, a correspondent in May 1892 denounced British officials for allowing opium to be grown in India and teaching the natives "to smoke, so as to increase revenue".

In July 1892 Shellabear wrote: "[In] God’s battle against opium and lust… final victory is sure. It is just as certain that the opium traffic will soon be abolished as it is that slavery was abolished 100 years ago." Time proved his confidence right: in the early 1900s, the British Parliament decreed that India must cease all opium exports to China except for medicinal purposes.

In Nov 1891 the issue contained two advertisement pages, as the editor wrote drolly: "Don’t forget that ours is a ten-page paper.

Perhaps you did not read the last two pages in the first issue. Then do not fail to do it this time. You will find a splendid list of advertisements. If you doubt it, read them, and then try the advertisers."

One regular advertiser that became a household name was Robinsons and Co., Outfitters, 26 & 27 Raffles Place.

Declare

In June 1904, TMM boldly advised the Governor of Singapore to "observe the sacred character of the Sabbath" and not schedule "official visits of inspection and pleasure trips" on that day.

In October 1906, it published an article listing what Christianity had done for social progress:

"First, Results manifest in individual character—temperance reform, deliverance from the opium habit, restraint upon gambling, higher standards of personal purity, the discrediting of self-inflicted torture or mutilation, the cultivation of industry and frugality.

"Second, Results affecting family life— improvement in the status of women, restraint of polygamy, and concubinage, the checking of adultery and divorce, the abolition of child-marriage and widowburning, the protection of children from infanticide, foot-binding and other cruel customs.

October 1931 issue, 40th anniversary of TMM

Another was Anglo-Chinese School. Its advertisement in Nov 1891 brimmed with information, but perhaps the most persuasive selling-point was the assurance that "special attention is given to dull and backward boys"! Advertisement page from Nov 1891

"Third, Results of a humane and philanthropic tendency—suppression of slavery, abolition of cannibalism, [and] brutal punishments, promoting prison reform, arresting cruel sports, assisting the poor and indigent, relieving victims of famine and plague, erecting schools, opening dispensaries and hospitals, founding leper asylums, establishing orphanages, …promoting cleanliness and sanitation, instilling a peaceful and law-abiding spirit, introducing modern scientific methods."

The missionary burden

Ruminations like Shellabear’s August 1892 editorial reflect the early missionary’s burden:

"'Faith without works is dead'... The individual who was once untiring in his efforts to save men from sin, but has relapsed into the easygoing Christian, meeting the sinner on equal terms and hob-nobbing with the enemies of Christ, may have the name of living but is already dead; and the Church where the sinner and the careless and the half-hearted can sit in comfort week after week without being disturbed by the pricks of conscience, is ready to perish. … Is there no drunkard to be saved, no profligate to be pleaded with? Are not our streets lined with hellish temptations, and shall we sit within our four walls and 'sing ourselves away' in self-complacent religiousness, while our own countrymen all unheeded are treading the thorny path which leads to the destruction of body and soul?"

He concluded that the church should organise itself for street evangelism, to "patrol streets" and "visit drink-shops" to "beseech the fallen men who frequent them to give up their life of sin". We sense his exasperation when he wrote, "The story that missionaries live lives of ease

Did You Know?

and do nothing is continually cropping up in newspapers published on the [m]ission field. These papers find their way to the homelands... We have but one defence… Let any man or woman, of any nationality, at any hour of the day, call on any missionary and find out what he is doing, and then make such statements he feels warranted in doing, giving time and place and the name of the missionary concerned. … We make the above proposition for two reasons—(1) we believe that unworthy missionaries should be expelled and (2) we wish to encourage truthfulness in those who write about missionaries."

Education and schools

Besides church-planting, TMM bears record to the many schools founded by the Methodists in Singapore and beyond.

That school rivalry existed as far back as September 1893 is inferable from a report that boldly, if a bit harshly, referenced the education system of the Roman Catholic church: "The parents of the Eurasian boys who attend St Joseph’s Institution have had the courage to demand a better English training for their sons, and complain that the advantages offered there are much inferior to those afforded by the

Despite announcing in Oct 1906 that no more advertisements "except perhaps those of Mission Schools and the Methodist Book Room" would appear, this commitment was broken from Jan 1930. Generally, TMM, post-war, possessed a more sober tone with mainly factual news reports and none of the levity seen in some of the pre-war issues. What might have raised a smile were the peppy taglines of some beverage advertisements.

Anglo-Chinese School and Raffles Institution. English, instead of French brothers, and a better equipped boy at the finish is the gist of their most reasonable request. … But for the Reformation, England and America would be today where Spain, Portugal, Brazil and many other Roman Catholic countries now are. It remains to be seen whether the parents …will have the pluck to send their boys to other schools, should their demands be rejected."

In Oct 1947, summing up the achievements of 40 years of missionary work in Sarawak, a contributor noted that the mission had been a pioneer in the field of education, bringing about "intelligent and healthy" young people, upheld moral standards despite the Second World War and "led people into a world of hope and of eternal glory".

Bishop Edwin F Lee, at the opening of a new Methodist Girls’ School in Pahang in Sep 1947, espoused learning the English language as a way of unifying people, "to develop a sense of worldwide community and brotherhood".

The Second World War and post-war years

Although the war in Europe began in 1939, TMM was published up to Dec 1941. Nothing published even hinted of the imminent Japanese invasion. The only ostensible problem was a paper shortage due to the war in Europe—TMM responded by reducing pages in Oct 1941 and compressing Nov/Dec 1941 into one issue.

Although the Japanese surrendered in 1945, TMM did not regroup until Dec 1946. Regrouping must not have been easy—only Aug and Dec issues were published in 1947.

The future

In Jun 1953, TMM was renamed The Methodist Message , principally because the name "Malaysia" was considered anomalous after the Burma Annual Conference joined the Methodist fold. The cover of Jun 1953 presented a picture of the newly-crowned Queen Elizabeth II and a Coronation Day Song was specially composed as our tribute. While the sun has set on her reign on 8 Sep 2022, the issue reminds us today that we were then a British colony.

But we should need no reminders of our immeasurable debt to the missionaries who braved long sea voyages and the merciless tropics to obey God’s call. May Methodist Message long continue to thrive as a chronicle of how we are paying our debt forward.

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The Malaysia Message was renamed The Methodist Message in June 1953 and featured the newly crowned Queen Elizabeth II on the cover

Soundings

One of the many issues that the coronavirus pandemic has brought to our attention is the importance of what some sociologists have called social wellbeing of human flourishing.

In their contribution to the World Happiness Report , published in 2021, Karynna OkabeMiyamoto and Sonja Lyubomirsky state: "The reduction in the physical availability of social connections is concerning, as over a century of research has proven how crucial social connection is for well-being." 1

Apart from close familial relationships, friendship is also extremely important for our social health.

In fact, ancient philosophers such as Aristotle have underscored how essential friendship is for human development, describing it as necessitudo —necessary. Cicero could speak of friendship thus: "And with the exception of wisdom, I am inclined to think nothing

better than this has been given to man by the immortal gods." 2

The Christian tradition also has much to say about the importance of friendship. The great theologian and bishop of Hippo, Augustine (354-430), describes in various places in his penetrating spiritual autobiography Confessions that friends are given to us by God for his providential purposes.

A distinction is made, however, between worldly and spiritual, or holy, friendships. In his treatise entitled Spiritual Friendship which is regarded as a spiritual classic— Aelred of Rievaulx describes worldly friendships as essentially self-serving relationships which do not seek the good of the other. 3

Spiritual friendships, in contrast, are formed by a mutual love for Christ, a mutual commitment to seek the good of

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.

the other, and a mutual desire to grow in Christ. A holy friendship is profoundly Christ-centred. It is not just a relationship between the two friends but always includes a third party, Christ.

This is profoundly portrayed in the opening sentences of Aelred’s Spiritual Friendship where the author says to Ivo, his fellow monk: "Here we are, you and I, and I hope a third, Christ, in our midst."4

In his remarkable spiritual work, On the Love of God , the revered Catholic Bishop of Geneva, Francis de Sales (1567-1622), grounds holy friendship in the triune God in whose image we have been made. "Just as God created man in his own image and likeness," Francis writes, "so also did he ordain a love for man in the image and likeness of his divinity." 5

The holy friendship between two (or more) Christians, Francis maintains, mirrors or images the friendship of the three divine persons of the Trinity, which the Genevan bishop regards as the holiest kind of spiritual friendship. Thus, he writes: "…if friendship is to be loved and desired, what friendship can be so in comparison with that infinite friendship which is between the Father and the Son…" 6

Francis emphasises the importance of communication in friendship, the transparent and authentic giving and receiving of love. Again, he alludes to the Trinity: "From all eternity, there is in God an essential communication by which the Father, in producing the Son, communicates his entire, infinite and indivisible divinity to the Son." 7

In the same way, God communicates himself to the human creature in the Incarnation of the Son. It is because of this communicative act of God, which is a divine initiative motivated only by love, that we are capable of being the friends of God.

This communication is never only one way— by God to the human being. It is always a dialogue, a conversation, and never a monologue.

The human creature responds to the divine initiative and so communicates with God in a lively reciprocity which must characterise every friendship. Francis writes: "We are in constant communication with him, who does not cease to speak to our hearts by inspirations, attractions and sacred movements." 8

Holy friendship among Christians is analogous to the relationship of the divine persons in the Godhead and grounded in the Christian’s relationship with God.

Holy friendship is important not just for the social wellbeing of Christians, but also for their spiritual health.

Holy friendship has been rightly described as the school of Christian love because it teaches and encourages the Christian to live the truly ex-centric life, that is, a life that is not centred on the self but is always lovingly oriented towards others. For to love an other is to surely be called out of ourselves and to be attentive to the needs of that other.

Additionally, as a morally and spiritually significant relationship, holy friendship is also vital to the growth of the Christian. This is because our friends can sometimes discern things about us that we fail to notice or refuse to acknowledge.

True spiritual friends can show us to ourselves.

3

1 Karyanna Okabe-Miyamoto and Sonja Lyubomirsky, “Social Connection and Well-being During Covid-19", World Happiness Report 2021, 133. https:// worldhappiness.report/ed/2021/social-connectionand-well-being-during-covid-19/.

2 Marcus Tullus Cicero, Laelius De Amicita , http:// faculty.sgc.edu/rkelley/Laelius%20de%20Amicitia. pdf.

Aelred of Rievaulx, Spiritual Friendship, translated by Mary Eugenia Laker, S.S.N.D. (Kalamazoo, MI: Cistercian Publications, 1977).

4 Ibid., 1:1.

5 Francis de Sales, On the Love of God, translated by John K. Ryan, (Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday, 1963), I:170.

6 On the Love of God, I: 196.

7 On the Love of God, I: 111.

8 On the Love of God, I:160-1.

St Paul Methodist School

Minds renewed

I call to mind the love of God that compelled Methodist Missions Society (MMS) to start St Paul Methodist School (SPMS) in Timor-Leste in 2016. In a country with a predominantly Catholic population and whose future hinges on the quality of its education, Timor-Leste was seen as an opportunity to do good (Galatians 6:10) by starting an English-medium school to bring holistic education to Timor-Leste children and youth. From a humble beginning of only 18 students in Grade 7 (Secondary 1 equivalent), SPMS now has 500 students and staff across Grades 1 to 12.

Therefore, I have hope that God will use SPMS to renew the minds of the students with the mind of Christ. Why? Because the steadfast love of God never ceases and his love will continue to establish SPMS’ work.

Hearts awakened

I call to mind the compassion of God that has drawn the Timorese children and youth to experience the Father heart of God through SPMS. Through daily devotions, Christian-based curriculum, and weekly Boys’ Brigade and Girls’ Brigade programmes at the school, God’s compassion for his people has indeed caused hearts to be awakened, as their minds are renewed.

David Chan is the Director of St Paul Methodist School (Timor-Leste). He is a member of Aldersgate Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of David Chan and St Paul Methodist School

The work of renewing minds, awakening hearts and transforming lives

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope."

(Lamentations 3:21, NIV)

Artist's impression of new school (left) "I can write neatly in my book."

(right)

Group discussion between seniors and juniors

John (not his real name) joined SPMS in Grade 7. He was disruptive in school and constantly challenging authority. Teachers and classmates would avoid confrontations with him if possible and let him have his way.

John’s attitude and behaviour often got him into trouble and he was brought to my attention. However, every time I rebuked and corrected him, I saw a broken spirit within him crying out, "Help me! Show me! Love me for who I am." As I meted out punishment, I would see a young man longing for a father to believe in him and to discipline him to walk in the path of righteousness.

One day, after I had punished him, he turned to say, "I have never felt my parents care for me like you do. I know you care; that is why you punish me." That brought tears to my eyes. I am thankful for being able to carry the compassion of God the Father into John’s life.

Therefore, I have hope that God will use SPMS to open the eyes of every student’s heart to see him. Why? Because God’s compassions never fail. They are new every morning.

Lives transformed

I call to mind the faithfulness of God that never fails to meet the school’s every need.

With the exponential increase in student enrolment each year, God has provided SPMS two temporary physical locations and seven buses so that we are able to provide education to all 475 students (of whom 200 are new students for the year). Though the school walls are bursting because of the increase, God has promised that he himself will be the "wall of fire" around it (Zechariah 2:4-5).

God’s faithfulness is further seen when he finally gave MMS a three-hectare piece of land in Metinaro, Dili this year for building

SPMS’ permanent home. The acquisition of land took three years to finalise.

When the SPMS building project is completed in 2023, I believe the in-dwelling presence and glory of God within SPMS will transform the lives of all students whom he calls to have their minds renewed and hearts awakened through SPMS education.

Therefore, I have hope that God will use SPMS to transform the students’ lives to serve his purpose for each generation in Timor-Leste and the nations beyond. Why? Because great is God’s faithfulness—he will establish SPMS forever for his faithfulness endures through all generations.

•

As you call these to mind, may you abound in hope together with us by

• Helping to share with others God’s goodness seen in SPMS’ development

• Offering your God-given gifts and talents to support the work of SPMS

• Praying for SPMS

Encouraging students to get an education in SPMS through your financial support.

Praise Time at the weekly Boys’ Brigade meeting

Huda (left) with Subhashini, Senior Social Worker at MWS Girls' Residence

Since graduating from MWS GR in 2021, Huda has returned to her family. "My relationship with my family has improved significantly as compared to before I first stepped into MWS Girls’ Residence," shared Huda. "I realised that building mutual trust helped my family and I communicate better with one another."

On the recommendation of MWS GR, Huda now works as a residential care associate in a nursing home. "While others my age may not enjoy working for long hours, I find it meaningful and look forward to engaging with my patients," said Huda.

Outside of her 12-hour shifts, Huda attends nursing courses to improve her skills and knowledge, in hopes of becoming a staff nurse one day and serving those in need.

Huda is just one of over 9,000 beneficiaries whom Methodist Welfare Services supports with holistic care. Many of our beneficiaries face complex issues and require long-term support. They include seniors battling chronic illnesses, families facing multiple stressors and individuals torn apart by adverse childhood experiences. Your generous donation helps us to shine God’s light in this broken world and let our beneficiaries experience life to the full.

Visit mws.sg/bring-hope or scan the QR code to donate.

You and Your Family

Benny Bong has been a family and marital therapist for more than 30 years, and is a certified work-life consultant. He was the first recipient of the AWARE Hero Award, received in 2011, and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

A single action with lasting effect

He came to see me wanting to work on his impatience and temper. When I asked my usual question of how he learned about me, he shared that it was through his wife. He told me she had left him and it happened after attending a talk I gave.

Not having met or spoken directly with his wife, I was interested to know more and asked him for more information. He related to me how it was only after his wife left, together with their two-year-old son, that he started to confront how much of a bully he was throughout their six years of marriage.

Frequent long-drawn quarrels, his wife's pleas to seek counselling, and his raging outbursts where he would throw and break items—all were not enough to jolt him into addressing his propensity to rage. Even a visit by the police in the early hours of one morning was quickly forgotten. Using violence against his wife was rationalised by her "thoughtlessness" in wanting to talk about their differences instead of giving it a rest. The breaking point came during a recent incident when his rage resulted in their son being accidentally hurt. His wife’s departure from the marital home was something he could no longer ignore.

My client looked me squarely in the eye and asked if I, during my talk, had encouraged those experiencing domestic violence to leave their spouses. It was not a question which could be answered with a simple yes or no. I clarified that research indicates that those living with an abusive partner are likely to experience escalation and the abuse might become more intense if not confronted and stopped. Such abusive behaviour does not simply go away or stop on its own. If the abusive partner is ignoring the signs of marital breakdown and fails to provide safety, then the victims may have to take steps to protect themselves. One possibility is to leave their spouse.

I waited uneasily for a torrent of angry or defensive responses. Instead, almost with bitter resignation, he said that he regretted but understood her action.

Our lives each day are filled with opportunities to do good or bad, to heal or to hurt. A careless action can cause unexpected harm. Sometimes, we lash

out with words or actions that hurt others, like a husband expressing regret for marrying his spouse or a mother admitting her regret for keeping her child during a difficult pregnancy.

In the course of counselling clients, I have encountered many instances where people acted on the spur of a moment and later regretted the consequences—a single action with a lasting effect.

Oftentimes, the impact may not be immediate. I will never forget how a close friend shared about reading something I wrote in a Methodist Message article some years ago when he was at the lowest point of his life. It gave him encouragement to carry on. I did not have him in mind when I wrote whatever it was that he read. But I would like to think that God chose to use those words.

May our words, actions and even presence be a channel of God’s love and redeeming grace. May we always be mindful of what we do and who we are with others.

Come unto me

Worship for a Sunday church service usually begins with joyful praise. But how do those who come with sheer brokenness, anxiety, doubt, fear, anger or shame fully participate?

Jesus said, "Come unto me!" (Matthew 11:28 KJV). His invitation is extended to all, especially to those who do not feel well in spirit or soul. We need to hear these words said during church worship through song, prayer or even in the worship leaders' "inbetween words" (transition words).

"Come Unto Me", written by Bishop Emeritus Robert Solomon and Joshua Goh, is an appropriate song for this purpose. Bishop Emeritus Solomon explains: "To any person who responds to Christ’s invitation, there is the promise of rest and peace that can be found only in Christ. The song has Christ speaking to the tired and burnt-out soul with words that are full of compassion and love. The promise 'I will give you rest' appears throughout to calm the soul and make it strong."

But where in the order of worship might the song fit? May I suggest three possible ways:

Welcome/ Call to Worship

We envision worship to be celebrative and full of joy. From that joy may spring a language of care and hospitality. After one or two songs of praise, the worship leader says: "As we gather, we come from various situations. Jesus the sovereign Lord invites us to himself and receives us as we are." The song "Come Unto Me" could then follow.

Confession/ Renewal

The Prayer of Confession is usually linked with Communion Sunday. However, it does not have to be so. Plan to have a time and place in worship where the congregation reads a corporate prayer that expresses confession and longing for God’s comfort, mercy and grace. A moment of silence follows. At the appropriate time, the leader starts singing "Come Unto Me". This section is closed by the pastor’s words of assurance or Assurance of Pardon (depending on the context).

Sermon

When appropriate to the sermon topic, "Come Unto Me" is a song that may be used to emphasise the theme. The pastor will find the proper time to sing the song during the sermon, or it may be sung after the sermon as a response.

"Come Unto Me… and I will give you rest" is a language of love and care for our neighbours. Jesus’ words teach us to nurture, foster and practise hospitality, not just in worship but in our daily lives as well.

Judith Laoyan-Mosomos is the Director of Worship & Church Music at the Methodist School of Music, and a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Come Unto Me

Words: Robert Solomon / Music: Joshua Goh

Come unto me, you troubled souls and I will make, I’ll make you whole; Weary your soul, come and request and I will give you rest.

Easy my yoke, my burden’s light, so take my yoke, take it in stride:

To watch the video of this song, visit https://youtu.be/CKm0XFCxqQg

Living out God's Word

To me, being a Methodist is being deeply devoted to the Word of God and to the people of God, like how John Wesley and the members of the 'Holy Club’ gave themselves to diligently following his Word, disciplining themselves to honour God and to serve others. The "Holy Club" met together often to encourage and keep one another accountable.

I’ve come to see through the various ministries and initiatives that I am involved in, that I too, ought to take his Word and live it out, in every season. I remember reading about the fellowship of the believers (Acts 2:42-47) as a teenager and wondering how that would look like in this day and age. When the GOOD (Getting Out of Debt)

programme by the Methodist Welfare Services was initiated some years ago, I saw that as a way the church lived out Christlikeness!

I have experienced the fellowship that is spoken about in the Bible, through the Christian community in church—friends who bring correction when needed and encouragement to keep living a life that’s pleasing to God!

As my generation continues to grow in the Methodist Church, my prayer is that we intentionally love the people around us and that we boldly live out the Word of God in every area of our lives.

by Kopikaki team

Benita Vincent worships at Jurong Tamil Methodist Church. She serves in the E424 Youth Ministry and the Archives & Communications team. / Photo courtesy of Benita Vincent

PASSING ON FAITH

15 October 2022, Saturday, 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. ACS (Barker Road), Mrs Lee Choon Guan Concert Hall Register at https://tinyurl.com/passingonfaith2022-MFM

In today’s climate of uncertainty, our children will need the tools to face the challenges that come ahead. In this season, the role of fathers as spiritual heads of the home has never been more important. How can fathers pass on faith and anchor our next generation for the future? The Methodist Fathers Movement aims to build up fathers so that they can raise strong families. Come and find out what the new season of fatherhood and son-/daughter-ship entails. Be encouraged by God’s Word and receive an impartation of blessing to become the best father you can be. Hear from our speakers Bishop Emeritus Dr Wee Boon Hup, Mr Jason Wong, and a panel of pastors and young adult leaders. This event is open to all fathers, spouses and families.

Organised by Methodist Fathers Movement

TRAUMA HEALING 2022: INITIAL EQUIPPING SESSION

25–28 October 2022, Tuesday–Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. 7 Armenian Street, Bible House, S179932 Register at bible.org.sg/initialtrauma before 15 October $420 (cost includes materials, snacks and lunch)

Based on the proven model of the Trauma Healing Institute, participants will learn basic Biblical and mental health principles related to trauma care in this initial equipping session; learn how to lead groups in a participatory way; learn the programme model; and develop plans for using what they have learned in their community.

This session is open to laypeople and clergy, including mental health professionals, social justice advocates, NGO workers, mission workers and others.

Limited seats available.

Organised by Sower Institute for Biblical Discipleship

ART OF MARRIAGE

19–20 November 2022, Saturday–Sunday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Changi Cove Hotel Register at cru.sg/nov2022aom before 30 October

From $349

A refreshing weekend retreat for married couples to rediscover the art of marriage! This six-session video seminar is filled with biblical teaching, expert interviews and real-life stories for couples to see marriage through the lenses of biblical principles.

Limited spaces available and costs apply.

Organised by FamilyLife Singapore, a ministry of Cru Singapore

EAST 30TH ANNIVERSARY | “10” EARNEST & MINGLI LIVE IN CONCERT

11 November 2022, Friday, 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. East Asia School of Theology (EAST), 118 Joo Chiat Road, Level 3, S427407 Register at https://tinyurl.com/11NovemberEAST

Free

East Asia School of Theology (EAST) is hosting a live concert for its students, supporters and guests as it celebrates 30 years of developing and equipping Christian leaders for East Asia and the world. Be enthralled by acoustic music storytelling of bible narratives by local singer-songwriter duo, Earnest and Mingli. The “10” concert series commemorates Earnest and Mingli’s decade-long journey as Christian artists in ministry.

Organised by East Asia School of Theology