CRUISE DIRECTOR IF YOU’RE GAY AND ONLINE, AVOIDING DAVEY WAVEY IS LIKE
avoiding the weather: Sooner or later, you’re going to get wet. At the moment, he presides over a million-plus subscribers from more than 150 countries who have seen his YouTube videos more than 300 million times. Add to that another 662,000 Facebook followers and an additional 12,000 fans who keep up with his exploits on Instagram. And they’re ravenous. Chatrooms lit up with soap opera curiosity in 2015 when he sold his LA apartment. How much did it cost? What does it mean for his boyfriend? Fans hang on every word, and his relationship with them is symbiotic. In him, they see an idealized version of themselves and Wavey, the marketing manager-turnedinternet influencer, never strays far from his boy-next-door roots. Don’t know Davey Wavey? Well, to paraphrase Rat Pack crooner Dean Martin’s description of Frank Sinatra, “It’s Davey’s world. We’re just living in it.” For all the attention he gets and seeks, he exhibits nary a hint of celebrity attitude. A description that better fits him is evangelical. He is an unapologetic zealot for more mindful and connected encounters between men, which he believes will in turn foster a more loving, more inclusive community of gay brethren. His New England preppy good looks and rigorous fitness regimen haven’t hurt his cause. Wavey (who does not use his birth name online) grew up in Rhode Island in a conservative Catholic family. He still splits his time between there and Palm Springs, although he says with a chuckle, “My family is no longer conservative or Catholic.” Maybe one of the reasons Wavey is so comfortable in his own skin is that his earliest memories are entirely free of homophobia. “When I was young,” he recalls, “I thought that all the boys felt about other boys like I did. I would make out with my classmates. And it wasn’t until that ended in middle school that I realized no one was like me. There wasn’t any internet or YouTube then. And then I met a family friend who my Mom explained to me later had a
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husband. She said, ‘And that’s called being gay.’” At 16, Wavey came out to his friends. A year later, he told his parents. “It wasn’t the greatest experience,” he says with a wince.“My mom sent me to our Catholic priest, and I remember thinking, ‘Oh, this is gonna end well.’ I gave my folks a few years to come around, and they did. I figured the only thing that could get them to change their point of view was their love for me. And that’s exactly what it took.” At college, Wavey spent time as a resident assistant — a garden-variety undergrad deputized as the dorm’s amateur authority figure and counselor. “I guess I’m a glutton for punishment,” he laughs. “I went from Catholic high school to a Catholic college as an RA. I saw a lot of incident reports about things the school didn’t like or want to recognize. Long story short, it awakened an interest in supporting people like me. I got hired as a marketing manager by an LGBTQ rights group called the Family Equality Council to create community, so I started making YouTube videos, not thinking it would mean much. And then my seventh video was about my masturbating neighbor, and suddenly that video had several million views.” Knowledge is power, so they say, and Wavey knew he had washed ashore on some uncharted isle of the cyberverse. “Honestly,” he admits, “I had a moment thinking to myself that I didn’t want any of this: seeing my life exposed online and having people comment on it. I was really put off by the whole idea. But I very quickly realized it was also an opportunity, if not a responsibility, to help other people like me. Shortly after that, Google bought YouTube and started monetizing content, and it became my full time job.” Unlike many of his contemporaries — straight or LGBTQ — Wavey says he’s never pursued fame as an end unto itself. Instead, he says, “I’ve always created content about things I’m passionate about. Since I started at 23 years old, I’ve been driven by my passions and created videos about coming out and self-acceptance. That’s what my journey has been. And the stuff I’m interested in is different than a lot of what you see online. It’s honest and empowering at the same time.”
ALL PHOTOS THIS PIECE COURTESY DAVEY WAVEY
HOW DAVEY WAVEY BECAME A YOUTUBE SENSATION AND WHY HE’S USING THAT POWER TO CHANGE HOW GAY MEN LOOK AT EACH OTHER. BY KEVIN PHINNEY
