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The

Missouri Funeral Director

Winter 2015

An official publication of the Missouri Funeral Directors & Embalmers Association

Features

Articles/Columns A Message from the President Page 4 Executive Director’s Report Page 5 News Page 14 In Memorium Page 20 Nuggets from the Past President Page 22

Advertiser Directory

Tiffany A. Smith Member since 2013 “This business is about

When Bereavement Goes Awry : Funerals and Complicated Grief What is often overlooked is

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Front cover: Design by Kathleen Lavery DISCLAIMER: Portions of this magazine are taken from other sources, which we believe to be reliable but may not be complete statements on all available data. The services of an attorney or accountant should be sought in legal and tax matters. The Missouri Funeral Director is designed to quickly and briefly inform the membership on a variety of subjects. It is NOT intended to address any particular area in detail. ADVERTISING DISCLAIMER: Please note that MFDEA reserves the right to refuse any and all advertising for any reason.

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A message from our President Dear MFDEA members and friends, Cathy and I pray and hope the holidays were filled with great THANKFULNESS and the JOY of the LORD. We wish for you an exceedingly great and prosperous new year. It has been a great year for MFDEA and I want to thank you for the opportunity to serve as your president. Cathy and I had the opportunity to represent our state at the National Funeral Directors Convention in Indianapolis. The most significant change is that the president of each state will not be the only voice making decisions for NFDA as it was voted on that each NFDA member would have a voice and be able to cast a vote. The expo floor and seminars were amazing and we had a great representation from Missouri at the convention. In regards to the passing of HB618, we are working with the Missouri State registrar’s office to help create the implementation of HB618. Upcoming events include Legislative Day and Annual MFT Meeting in March in Jefferson City and the Tristate Convention in Kansas City in May. Please support MFDEA today by renewing your membership if you have not done so already and enjoy the many benefits that are afforded to you and your firm. Thank you again for allowing me to serve as your president and the support you have given me and the MFDEA. As we continue to serve in our local communities and give our families the best service possible, one thing is for sure “We are Stronger and Better Together”.

John Veach, MFDEA President Mudd-Veach Funeral Home Bowling Green, MO

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Executive Director’s Report At the MFDEA office a lot of questions come in and, for some reason, they seem to come in bunches. Recently there have been a lot of questions regarding the Power of Attorney, so now seemed like a good time for a refresher on some the ins and outs of this important legal document.

first some basics and terms Power of Attorney: At its most basic, a Power of Attorney (POA) is simply a document that gives someone else the power to act on your behalf, usually on financial or heath care decisions. The POA can be very limited by listing only the powers that can be exercised or it can be very broad giving the power to do almost anything you can do on your own to the other person. The person that is delegating these powers is called the “Principal,” the person you are appointing to exercise the powers is called the “Attorney In Fact.” or, sometimes, simply the “Agent.” Signing a POA does not “give away” your power to act on your own behalf - you still have total power to do things so long as you are competent -- it is just that the Attorney in Fact can also do them. Donald C. Otto, Jr. “Traditional,” “Durable,” and “Springing” POA’s: There is a lot of confusion MFDEA Executive Director & General Counsel on this one. When POA’s first were developed, we didn’t have the internet, emails or even telephones or telegraphs. It could be a several days horse-andbuggy ride from one town to the next. Thus, you might be unable to attend to business matters that needed attention if you were not right there. The idea was that a person could appoint someone to act on their behalf because they were out of town or otherwise not available. Thus a “traditional” POA simply gave the power to act on your behalf to do the things you could do IF you were standing right there. For this reason a “traditional” POA ceased to have any effect if the Principal became incapacitated or incompetent in any way. Think of it this way: Can you sign a check if you are in a coma? No, of course not, so, for that reason, neither could your Attorney In Fact. In addition, very often these traditional POA’s had a time limit built into them so that they only lasted until it was thought the principal would be back to handle things on their own. These “traditional” reasons for having a POA are not as important these days. You can often conduct business from just about anywhere, anytime, so there are not as many reasons to have this type of POA. Sometimes, however, they are still useful. A while back I did a traditional POA for my son who was spending a year in China. He needed someone back home that could cash his Greg Arnold Jim Wright checks and pay his bills since he would not be able garnold@dodgeco.com jwright@dodgeco.com to do so easily. This POA also had a time limit so that (800) 554-1078 (660) 258-2428 it would automatically expire by the time he came home. Now, however, the main reason many people want to have a POA is precisely because they might become incapacitated. Thus we have the “Durable Power of Attorney.” A Durable POA simply states that www.dodgeco.com the powers granted do NOT cease if the Principal https://shop.dodgeco.com tel 1-800-443-6343 becomes incapacitated or incompetent. That way fax 1-800-443-4034 if the Principal is in a coma, you can still sign their continued on next page The Missouri Funeral Director

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checks for them. That’s the only difference with a Durable POA - a Durable POA continues on even if the principal cannot act for themselves. Most “form” POA’s that people can download on their computer are Durable. As a funeral director, just about all of the POA’s someone might bring to you are probably going to be durable POA’s A “Springing” POA is not that common anymore. It is called “springing” because it does not go into effect unless some specific event happens - such as, to keep our example consistent, the Principal is in a coma. The problem with these is how does the bank teller know if the Principal is in a coma or not? They don’t, so often there will be required some separate documentation (like a doctors report or court order) that proves that the “springing” condition has been met before the POA can be used. This is often difficult, time consuming and can cause confusion. For these reasons, “Springing” POA’s are very rarely used.

Now for some more in-depth legal stuff Ceasing upon Death. A lot of people have been taught somewhere along the way that “POA’s cease upon death!” You can even find this is some “FAQ’s” that law firms put on-line. Well, in Missouri, this is not always true. While, most powers in a POA do cease upon the death of the principal, there are three powers that, if in a POA, continue on even after the death of the Principal. These are 1. Authorizing an Autopsy 2. Organ Donation authorization 3. The Right of Sepulcher (controlling the final disposition of the body) Who can be appointed. Almost anyone of legal age and mentally competent can be an Attorney In Fact. Generally, people appoint family members to this role, but sometimes none of their relatives are appropriate, in which case they may appoint a friend or even an accountant, attorney or clergy person. How many Agents? A person can appoint one or more agents on a power of attorney. Having multiple agents allows more than one person to share the responsibility, but it can cause problems as well. When faced with this situation it is important to know if the document permits each agent to act on his or her own or if the Attorneys In Fact must act together. Also powers can be split up between different people. Back in “Ye Olden Days” it would not be uncommon to have one person your agent for paying bills, but a different agent for making investments. Alternates. In addition to, or instead of, naming multiple attorneys-in-fact, a person can name one or more alternates in case the first person appointed cannot serve. For instance, somebody may name their spouse as the Attorney In Fact and their children as alternates. Having an alternate is often

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a good idea, however, it can cause issues as well since how does anyone know that the main Agent cannot serve? Again, additional documentation may be needed. What Powers Can Be Granted? Like most states, Missouri has a statute that deals with POA’s. That statute states that : “A principal may delegate to an attorney in fact in a power of attorney general powers to act...on the principal’s behalf with respect to all lawful subjects and purposes or with respect to one or more express subjects or purposes.... the authority of the attorney in fact acting under the power of attorney shall extend to and include each and every action or power which an adult who is non-disabled and non-incapacitated may carry out through an agent specifically authorized in the premises, with respect to any and all matters whatsoever.” This means that just about anything of a legal nature that you do on your own, you can authorize your Attorney In Fact to do on your behalf. At all times, however, the Attorney-in-fact is supposed to act in the best interests of the Principal. Exceptions. There are some things, however, that you CANNOT put into a POA. These include: • voting in a political election on behalf of the principal (voting shares of stock, however, CAN be put into a POA). • making or revoking a will. • forcing the Principal to do something they don’t want to do. • doing anything expressly forbidden by the principal. There are also several powers that CAN be in a POA but only if they are specifically mentioned. In other words, the general grant of powers is not good enough. For funeral directors the most important one of these is the “Right of Sepulcher,” - the right to control and determine the final disposition of the body (see below). This power must be specifically mentioned in the POA for it to exist. Third Party Reliance. When faced with someone who brings in a POA, it can be easy to “out-think” things. How do I know if some conditions in the POA have been met? How do I know if the signatures are valid? Is what is being requested really in the best interests of the Principal. Fortunately, the law takes this into account. Missouri (and most other states) statutes provide that: “A third person, in good faith and without liability to the principal or the principal’s successors in interest, even with knowledge that the principal is disabled or incapacitated, may rely and act on the instructions of or otherwise contract and deal with the principal’s attorney in fact or successor attorney in fact acting pursuant to authority granted in a durable power of attorney.” A third party is also not required to investigate the validity of documents and signatures and the like. As long as you don’t have personal knowledge that something is not right, you can rely on the reasonable representations made to you.


Health Care Decisions. A relatively recent innovation has been the “Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Decisions.” This is a form of POA that, instead of dealing with financial matters, is limited to making determinations about the medical care and treatment of the Principal. It can include the Right of Sepulcher power as well as autopsy and organ donation power. There are a lot of additional technical requirements to create a valid DPOA for Heath Care and, unfortunately, a lot of the free forms you see on line and even some of the ones handed out by hospitals often do not meet the requirements, especially when it comes to the HIPPA law. The Missouri Bar Association has a free DPOA for Health Care Decisions (that includes an optional Right of Sepulcher designation) that you can get from the Missouri Bar or the MFDEA office. These are free to print off and hand out, easy to understand, meet all of the requirements and are not copyrighted so make all the copies you want!

Specifically for funerals Chapter 194.119. This is the section of the law that deals with who controls a person’s funeral. #1 on the list of who is in charge is: “An attorney in fact designated in a durable power of attorney wherein the deceased specifically granted the right of sepulcher over his or her body to such attorney in fact.” If this power is specifically granted in the POA, then the Attorneys-in-fact is the person in charge of the funeral and takes precedence over anyone else including a spouse or children. The laws of POA’s and Chapter 194, however, never force an attorney-in-fact to be in charge of things. The POA Agent can decide not to exercise this power and let others further down on the list become the next-of-kin. In all cases, whoever the next-of-kin might be, they have to be 18 or older, mentally competent and willing to take financial responsibility for the final disposition. That means the next-of-kin is responsible to pay the bill. There may or may not be money from the estate or insurance or other sources that will fund the funeral, but the next-of-kin is the one that agrees to pay and is the one that would be sued if the bill is not paid. This section of the law is a huge benefit for those that take advantage of it because, otherwise, a person is stuck with the statutory next-of-kin priority regardless of if you want them to be in charge of your funeral or not. However, using a POA to designate a next-of-kin can cause a lot of issues if nobody knows about it beforehand. Just like a preneed plan, people should tell their family, caregivers and others what they have done so there are no unpleasant surprises later. Importantly, there is no “magic” phrase that needs to be used, the POA just needs to specifically grant the power to handle the final disposition in some manner. Specifically using the term “Right of Sepulcher” or mentioning Chapter 194.119 is great but not necessary. The courts have recognized “handle

my body after death” as being sufficient and other phrases, such as “being in charge of my final disposition” would work as well.

Some examples of real-life situations involving POAs Situation #1 - Preneed. This one happens quite a bit. Mom has given a POA with general broad powers to her son and he comes in to purchase a preneed funeral plan for his mother using his mother’s money to pay the bill. This is perfectly proper and acceptable. However, be careful how the preneed contract is filled out and signed. The son is NOT the purchaser, his mother is the purchaser. Therefore, the contract should be signed something like this” “Judy Smith (Purchaser) by John Smith, Attorney-in-fact.” If this is not done right it can mess up “spend-down” situations with Family Services. On the reverse side, if the son is using his own money to buy the preneed, then HE would be the purchaser and he would simply sign as such regardless of the POA. Situation #2 General POA with no specific grant. In this scenario, Dad has died and survived by his wife/widow. However, prior to his death he gave his eldest son from a prior marriage a general power of attorney. Of course there is a dispute as to who is in charge of the funeral. In this case since the POA did not specifically grant the power to handle the final disposition, the widow is the next-of-kin per Missouri statutes and she is in charge. Situation #3 Specific grant of power in POA. Same as #2 but this time the POA specifically stated that it granted to the son “the power to handle my body after death.” In this case, the son is the next-of-kin and is in charge of the final disposition and not the wife/widow. Situation #4 - 194 Rights, Principal Competent. In this situation, Dad has just died, Wife is the next-of-kin but is currently exploring the Amazon (the river in South America, not the web store....) so she is not available. She has given a broad, general, power of attorney to her nephew that allows him to act on her behalf in all legal matters. There has been no court decisions in Missouri in this issue, so it is impossible to be 100% certain how a court would rule. However, a review of the statutes shows there should be no reason why the nephew cannot act on the Wife/widow’s behalf and make all arraignments including signing statements of goods and services or even cremation authorizations. This is because the Missouri statues does not exclude this Chapter 194 power from the items that can be in a POA and a POA with the boilerplate, general, broad power language gives the power to handle “all lawful subjects and purposes” and because there is no other prohibition in the law from exercising Chapter 194 rights though an agent. continued on page 19 The Missouri Funeral Director

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Tiffany A. Smith

Tiffany A. Smith greets visitors to her Life Memorial Center in Overland, Missouri, with a bright smile. Her love of the funeral profession is evident as she takes you on a tour of the building she purchased in September 2013. It was built in 1893 and the lower level is designated as a bomb shelter. A building of this age has a beauty to it but if not properly maintained can present challenges. Challenges are nothing new to this vivacious and forward thinking funeral director and embalmer. She graduated from the Cleveland Naval Junior ROTC Academy at the age of 17 and enrolled at Maryville University to study nursing. She excelled in her coursework and loved helping the patients but found the overall work too confining. Through a relative she was introduced to the idea of being a funeral director. She was

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offered an apprenticeship at those stab wounds and ripped to a funeral home in Hazelwood pieces by an autopsy,” Smith said. and knew she had found her The process felt cold, impersonal, like niche. the funeral director was going down Smith became a a checklist. licensed funeral director and “The hardest part was getting my then attended the Mortuary grandmother through it.” Science Program at SLCC In 2010 she decided to open her Forest Park to become an embalmer. own embalming service for other funeral Her compassion is evident in her work homes. She loved being able to restore as she strives to give families closure the appearance of the decedent and and a sense of peace by being able to give the grieving family an opportunity view their loved ones before the burial to view their loved one and say a final or cremation. goodbye. Being sympathetic to another’s However, after three years, Smith pain is very important to Smith as she wanted more interaction with her recounted her own personal tragedy in families and decided it was time to an interview with the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: On June 9, 2001, Smith’s mother was killed. An exboyfriend attacked her with a knife, stabbing her 36 times. Smith remembers taking her grandmother to a north St. Louis funeral home to arrange services. “I was sitting there knowing that my mom Every client receives a free Tribute Blanket. was back there, with all

Winter 2015


open her own funeral establishment. Her real estate agent contacted her with news that the Baumann Colonial Chapel in Overland had closed its doors and was available. She jumped at the chance. The building was old and in need of an update including a new roof. The upstairs apartment did not have running water and parts of the ceiling had collapsed. Smith and her family rolled up their sleeves and began work by cleaning out the old furnishings, painting all the rooms and bringing in contemporary furniture. It was important to Smith to have furniture that was comfortable, stylish and inviting. Another personal touch that Smith offers is a free tribute blanket with a screen-printed photo of their loved one to the grieving family. “We don’t charge for this item,” Smith said. “We want our families to know that we care about them and this is one way we do that. It has become very popular and people now ask if they can get their blanket.” Smith smiled, “We are getting a reputation as a funeral home that cares about their families, even in the little things.” Another change was the decision not to have

Above: One of the sitting rooms in the funeral home under the previous owner. Below: Today the sitting rooms have modern furniture, new lighting and fresh paint to create a bright, inviting and uncluttered feeling.

Above: Under the previous owner the downstairs gathering room was dated with wood paneling and large dark furniture. Below: Today the gathering room is bright, open and provides cutomers with a place to mingle and eat.

a casket display room. “We have found that most people are used to shopping on-line and like to see all the options that are available to them,” Smith said. “This way we do not have to maintain an expensive inventory of caskets that may or may not sell within a certain time frame.” Smith is upfront with her families about every cost that goes into a funeral. “We need to get people used to the idea that these are the costs involved in providing a funeral. There is nothing hidden,” Smith said. “It’s sort of like when you decide to buy a car, you have an idea of what type of car you want and what the base price is. Then you have to decide if you want any extra features or if maybe you need to look at a different model.” All of her pricing is available on her website and each option lists what is included in the price. “We don’t believe in trying to hard sell anyone,” Smith said. “We prefer to show our families what is available and if they decide to add on extras then it is completely their

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decision. They feel as though they are in control of the costs which is as it should be.” Incorporating modern technology has also been part of the renovation. Smith worked with Funeral One to design a website that was appealing to today’s tech savvy consumers. She also has installed modern technology so music and videos could be played during services. “There is always something new out there and customers have certain expectations,” Smith stated. “We provide personalized DVD memorials to our families, along with color

programs and bookmarks. I think we do a disservice to our families if we do not embrace what modern technology has to offer to the funeral industry.” While most new funeral establishments are really a change of ownership, Smith started her establishment from scratch. She purchased the building but not the business. Previous Baumann clients who had purchased pre-need arrangements have been redirected to Shepard Funeral Chapel. Smith acknowledges that not everyone in Overland understands that Baumann is no longer in existence. “We still have people come through the doors looking to talk to a white male funeral director,” Smith laughs. “You can imagine their surprise when they realize that an

African-American woman is now the funeral director.” In the beginning this proved to be a challenge. Overland has historically been a primarily white suburb but is becoming more ethnically and racially diverse. “It’s been a challenge branching out in this neighborhood. I’ve got to get people to step outside their prejudice,” Smith said. “To unite people through death.” Death is something that comes to everyone regardless of their background. It is the funeral director’s vocation to assist the bereaved during this time and if done with compassion the funeral director’s racial background or ethnicity will not be seen. “This business is about dignity and understanding,” Smith said. “I can’t take the pain away, but I can soothe you.”

Left: Tiffany Smith and her family are prayed over during the opening celebration of the Tiffany A. Smith Life Memorial Center. Below: The Tiffany A. Smith Life Memorial Center in Overland, Missouri.

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When Bereavement Goes Awry: Funerals and Complicated Grief William G. Hoy

12

Mary’s husband of 28 years died from a sudden myocardial infarct in the anterior descending artery of his heart, the kind of heart attack popularly-known as the “widow maker.” Though Nick had no history of heart disease, the time between his waking Mary at 2am with

lives would be so radically changed before daylight. The thought of planning a funeral had never entered Mary’s mind, let alone that of her sons. After all, her parents and Nick’s parents, all in their late 70s, were still leading active lifestyles.

chest pain until his death was a mere 30 minutes. Mary was transformed in a sudden unexpected instant from adoring wife to grieving widow. Less than 12 hours after her husband’s death, Mary, her two sons, and their wives sat with a funeral director making plans to honor the life of their 50-year old husband and father. None could have imagined when they went to bed the night before that their

Fortunately for Mary, the funeral director understood the reality of the trauma into which she and her family had been thrust. This caring professional asked questions that elicited the story of Nick’s life, to be sure; like others in the profession, this funeral director had been trained to ask questions about Nick’s faith, vocation, values, family, and interests. But before the funeral director began the interview about Nick’s life,

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this consummate professional seemed to know intuitively that it was the story of Nick’s death through which this family was now living. This professional thoughtfully inquired and then patiently listened for nearly 25 minutes as Mary recounted the narrative of the last evening together and the horrific awakening that had become her story. Though this director had never been trained to inquire about “the death story,” this intuitive sense may have been a bigger gift to Mary than anyone realized. The open-ended question, “Mary, would you tell me a little about what happened?” validated the nearly indescribable experience of her husband’s death. Though the funeral director would never self-identify as a “counselor” in any formal sense, the questions helped Mary “organize the narrative” of her husband’s death, a psychological task that seems to be a vital part of the early grief experience. Even the funeral director’s assurance that “we aren’t in a hurry here; I have all the time we need” when Mary’s boys tried to hurry their mother along helped this new widow to sense she was cared for in the midst of her confusion and chaos. Strangely, even the decisionmaking process itself helped. Early in the conversation, Mary’s daughter-inlaw suggested that, “It might be easier if we don’t put everybody through all that visitation and funeral stuff. Let’s just celebrate Nick’s life in the park in the spring.” The funeral director affirmed the opinion and promised to


talk with the family about all of their for the community followed by a options, noting that based on more than Saturday morning service. Recognizing a decade of experience helping newly- three days until the visitation was a bereaved families, there was good long time, the director noted that Nick reason to consider doing something would be ready for viewing much earlier more immediately. and suggested Mary and her immediate The director quietly noted, not family might want some private family only Mary’s family but also the entire time on Wednesday or Thursday; Mary community would sense genuine shock chose to come both days and spend an in Nick’s sudden death. Their extended hour or so with her husband each time. family, friends, colleagues, and faith The funeral itself provided a buffer community would also be helped by to the complications in Mary’s grief, gathering together as a whole community as well. The support of their entire to say goodbye. While viewing of the community of friends offered solace body is a family decision, he noted, in an inconsolable experience. As is so there is significant research evidence typical, the quiet conversations between that seeing the body could be beneficial, Mary and some of the wellespecially in the aftermath of meaning friends included an unexpected death (Hoy, some unhelpful words 2013). The funeral director like, “At least he didn’t While viewing of did not push but rather, suffer” and “You the body is a family educated and directed; had more than a decision...there is in the chaos of early quarter century significant research grief after unexpected of happiness loss, direction is exactly together; that’s evidence that seeing what this family needed so much more the body could be whether they knew than a lot of beneficial, especially it or not. Fortunately, people get.” The the nearly 40 minutes memory of the in the aftermath of an of dialogue before writing unhelpful words unexpected death down the first vital statistic faded soon enough but or funeral plan had helped build the lingering “aroma” of the rapport necessary so they would the presence of so many caring better trust the professional’s advice. people sustained Mary in the weeks and The visitation was instrumental months ahead. After the funeral, Mary in Mary’s grief, as well. She had last remarked to the funeral director, “I just seen Nick on the gurney in the hospital didn’t realize how wide the circle of emergency department but at that people is that Nick impacted.” moment, she was anesthetized by the Funeral directors are well-aware unreality of the whole experience, much of the importance of the memorial like the numbness in the cheek after a “experience” and how those hours and tooth is filled. But that numbness did days are critical to family satisfaction. not last long after Nick’s death in the Most quality assurance surveys ask wee hours of Tuesday morning. Their bereaved family members to evaluate funeral director wisely suggested to the performance of the staff and the Mary and her family that while waiting appropriateness of the facilities in two months for a memorial service creating memorial events. What is often would likely “tear off the scab” of their overlooked, however, is the long-term grief, they need not hurry the services effects of the funeral on the health and along, either. The director suggested a well-being of family and close friends. Friday afternoon and evening visitation “Complicated grief” refers to

a plethora of symptoms generally thought by trained professionals to be unhealthy responses to loss. In my clinical experience, I have seen individuals coping with delayed grief, many years after an apparent absence of response as well as individuals dealing with loss responses exaggerated into intense rage or guilt. By far the most common in my experience and the subject of most research on grief’s trajectory, however, has been on what my colleague J. William Worden (2009) refers to as “chronic” grief: experiences of loss that are intense, prolonged, and unremitting. These individuals often identify themselves many months or several years after the death with words like, “I just don’t seem to be getting past this.” When a funeral director patiently elicits the story of the death and the life, when she or he helps the family thoughtfully plan memorial events that engage the entire family and community, and when family members receive the care of that community, our best research and more than 30 years in my own experience unites in saying that these factors work together to prevent an astounding amount of complicated grief. We know that the incidence of grief that goes awry in a clinically significant way, needing to be addressed through some form of specialized clinical intervention, is experienced by between 10% and 20% of the entire bereaved population (Shear, 20112012). What we do not know exactly is how many bereaved individuals are helped to process the loss “normally” as a result of the funeral experience, but conventional clinical wisdom is that the number is high; the funeral experience is unquestionably valuable to the vast majority of mourners, research that I review in detail elsewhere (Hoy, 2013). Through the ages, funeral rites have incorporated significant symbols, ritual actions, gathered community, historical continued on page 15 The Missouri Funeral Director

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News Federated Group Health Update – Redefinition of Small Group in the PPACA Within the last few weeks, President Obama signed into law a change to PPACA that cancelled the impending redefinition of “small groups.” On January 1, 2016, a “small group” was set to change from 50 or fewer employees to 100 or fewer. Instead, as a result of the President’s signing, the definition of small group will remain at 50 or fewer full time or full time equivalent employees. (The minimum is one employee, as long as he or she is a “common law” employee and not an owner or partner or their family member.) Also included in this law change is the flexibility for each state to define a small group as 100 or fewer employees if the state prefers. As of this writing, only one state, Virginia, has a law in place that adopts this upper limit to define small groups. It’s possible other states will follow suit; therefore, employers will need to know their state’s definition

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when seeking group health coverage for their employees. Federated Insurance group health clients can rely on their local marketing representative to help them learn what this change may mean to their business. For more information, contact your local Federated Insurance representative, or visit www.federatedinsurance.com.

Help Wanted The Ortmann Funeral Home is accepting applications for an experienced Missouri licensed funeral director/embalmer. We are a family owned funeral home located in St. Louis County operating two facilities in Overland and Creve Coeur. This is a full time position with benefits and every other weekend off. Applicants must have professional appearance and good work ethic in addition to being self-motivated and compassionate. To apply send resume by mail, email or fax to: 12444 Olive Blvd., Creve Coeur, MO 63141; email osfh@sbcglobal.net; fax (314) 878-8664.

Winter 2015

Baue the leading family owned funeral firm in the growing St. Charles region has an outstanding opportunity for a Sales Manager that demonstrates excellence in achieving sales goals, committed to customer satisfaction, and believes in the power of team work. Baue’s next Sales Manager will have 4 Core Competencies: 1. Leadership 2. Results 3. Communication and Empathy 4. Management of Change, Resources and Details Sales Team Management, Funeral or Cemetery industry skills preferred, but not required. JOB REQUIREMENTS: •• Ability to lead and grow sales and marketing staff to new levels •• Ability to work well independently and in the team setting •• Proven experience in conflict resolution with a focus on solutions and customer satisfaction •• Develop and implement marketing plans


•• Excellent presentation skills, small and large groups •• Bachelor’s degree and 3-5 years’ experience managing a successful team •• Solid work history •• Computer and technology skills including the ability to create reports •• Driver’ license and good driving record •• Missouri Life and Preneed licenses, or the ability to obtain licenses within first 90 days of employment Baue offers an outstanding compensation and benefits package. Compensation includes base, overrides, and bonus opportunities.

If interested in applying send a COVER LETTER and RESUME to employment@baue.com. EEO m/f/v/d

Mark Your Calendars The MFDEA Law Class will be held on Monday, April 4 at Pittman Funeral Home in Wentzville. The Fee is $149.00 however for Licensed Members who want a refresher course, you can attend for FREE. Contact the office at 573.635.1661 for details!

Grief continued on from 13 and cultural traditions, and the body’s presence to “anchor” families and communities in the face of loss. The work funeral directors do in hearing stories and in creating a place for stories to be shared is of inestimable value in the experiences of bereaved people. Copyright © 2016 by William G. Hoy

References Hoy, W.G. (2013). Do funerals matter?

The purposes and practices of death rituals in global perspective. New York, NY: Routledge. Shear, M.K. (2011-2012). Bereavement and the DSM5. Omega: Journal of Death & Dying, 64(2), 101-118. Worden, J.W. (2009). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner. New York, NY: Springer. William G. Hoy is clinical professor of medical humanities at Baylor University in Waco, Texas. Dr. Hoy’s three decades of experience with the dying and bereaved includes more than 16 years as director of counseling services at Pathways Volunteer Hospice in Long Beach, California prior to his faculty appointment at Baylor in 2012.

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NFDA’s Only Endorsed Collection Agency Respect. Reputation. Revenue. Since 1983 Hunter Warfield has delivered higher paying collection results to funeral homes and major corporations. We proudly work with over 2000 funeral homes throughout North America. Whether we are working for an internationally recognized corporation or a locally-owned funeral home, the services we provide help our clients meet their bottom line.

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•We have an experienced team of individuals dedicated exclusively to the collections of funeral accounts. •Our collectors understand the sensitivity required to maintain client relationships when collecting outstanding balances.

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Quick Reference Guide

Online Client Center - www.HunterWarfield.com •24/7 access •Report payments on collection files •View open service requests

•Access to Client Inventory & Statements •Submit cancellation requests

•Make balance adjustments •Account look up

Account Representative: Sal Cimino Director of Business Development - Funeral Division scimino@hunterwarfield.com 813-283-4524 phone 813-283-4424 fax New Accounts Management: 813-283-4403 fax nam@hunterwarfield.com

New placements require the following, if applicable: •Responsible Party(s) •Name of deceased •Name •Date of Birth •Address, city, state, zip •Date of Death •Phone •Date of Service •Employer name, address, phone •Contract •Date of Birth •Balance owed •Email address •Last payment date & amount •Emergency contact and phone •Social Security number

Client Services: 877-486-8927 phone 813-283-4404 fax clientservices@hunterwarfield.com Support Services: 813-283-4009 phone 813-283-4453 fax supportservices@hunterwarfield.com Legal: 813-283-4589 phone 813-283-4489 fax consumerlegal@hunterwarfield.com

Client Services can help you with: •Missing information follow-up •Statement questions •Username and password

•Account questions •Settlement Offers

Support Services can help you with: •Verification of accounts and status to the consumer •Consumer disputes

•Bankruptcy notices •Legal documents you receive on a collection file we have in our office

Legal can help you with: •Status on account currently with attorney •Review a file for suit

•Legal process questions •Legal documentation questions

Responsible Party Toll Free Line: 866-494-9902

If contacted by a responsible party that has been turned over to collections, please advise them to contact Hunter Warfield at this number. The above departments will not be able to assist responsible parties with their accounts. The Missouri Funeral Director

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Executive Director’s Report (continued from page 7)

Situation #5 - 194 Rights, Principal Incapacitated. More common than #2, however, is something like the following situation: Dad has died. Wife/widow is alive but has advanced Alzheimers and has been declared incompetent. Prior to her becoming incompetent, however, she gave a power of attorney to her nephew. Can the nephew sign a cremation authorization or make other arrangements on behalf of the wife/widow signing everything as the “Attorney In Fact?” Again, no court cases on this, but the answer in probably no. That is because chapter 194 states that in order to be the next-of-kin you have to be mentally competent. In general, an Attorney-in-fact cannot perform actions that the principal could not perform on their own. Since, in this scenario, the widow cannot be the nextof-kin because she is not competent, then there is no existing power for the nephew to exercise. In this instance, then, who the next-of-kin would be, would be determined by the Chapter 194.119 priority list. I hope this primer helps everyone understand some of the basics with POA’s. As always, every fact situation is different and there are a lot of factors and some technicalities that are not gone into above that can and do result in different outcomes so, if you are faced with issues of the applicability of a Power of Attorney, be sure to seek out legal assistance. Oh, by the way, if you or your funeral home are MFDEA members, you can get that legal assistance just by calling the MFDEA office at 573-6351661!

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Sue Simmons, 70, of Springfield passed away Saturday evening, Oct. 24, 2015, at her home. She was born June 19, 1945, in Quaker, West Virginia the eldest daughter of Howard and Dollie Nelson Matthews. Mrs. Simmons had been a licensed funeral director for 40 years. Along with her husband, Brian, they had operated funeral homes in Ava and Forsyth. Since 1987 they have operated Springfield Mortuary Service. She remained active in the business until ill health forced her retirement four years ago. Surviving besides her husband of 42 years are two daughters; Rhonda Ketchum and her husband Nathan of Strafford, MO and Jennifer Simmons Bodenhamer of Springfield. Three grandchildren; Justin Ketchum, Miranda Ketchum and helen Ashley Bodenhamer, also one great granddaughter: Paytyn Burgess.

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She was preceded in death by her parents and two sisters; Judy Ernest and Janet Clark. Visitation was at Gorman Scharpf Funeral Home followed by a cremation. An inurnment service was held at the Missouri Veterans Cemetery under the direction of Springfield Mortuary Service. Memorials may be made to the Wounded Warrior Project or the MFDEA Scholarship Fund. William G. Alexander: “PaPa Bill” died peacefully on November 2, 2015 at the age of 88. He is preceded in death by his parents, Moses Harvey and Ruth (nee Stansbury) Alexander; his wives, Jean (nee Dekker) Alexander and Gwendolyn (nee Bosley) Alexander; and his sister, Ruth “Teedee” Stubbs. Bill is survived by his children, William “Chip” (Sally) Alexander, Kim Alexander, and Dana (George) Meyer; grandchildren, Nicole Alexander (James)

Reiter, George William Meyer, Benjamin Joseph Meyer, and Maximilian Alexander Meyer; and one great grandson, Mason Todd Rieter; one sister, Sally Alexander Higgenbotham; one brother, James Harvey Alexander; dear uncle, cousin, and friend to many. Bill was the former owner of Alexander & Sons Funeral Home and Mt. Lebanon Cemetery. He and his brother, Jim, were innovative leaders and pioneers in the funeral service profession in St. Louis. He is a veteran of the US Navy and a 33rd Degree Mason, a Shriner, and a Ceremonial Cast member. A memorial mass was held on Saturday, November 21, 2015 at St. Anthony of Padua in High Ridge, MO at 9 a.m. Inurnment was at Boeuff Presbyterian Church Cemetery in Gerald, MO. Memorials are appreciated to the Shriner’s Hospital for Children. Expressions of condolence may be offered at www.alexanderstlouis.com.


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Nuggets

Hello MFDEA Members and Friends, I am assuming everyone had a great experience with your Black Friday shopping, your Cyber Monday shopping, Giving Tuesday shopping, Pay it Forward Wednesday shopping, and any other shopping for that special gift. The “Elf on the Shelf” had been reporting back to Santa as to whether you have been bad or good. So, at this point we bought our own gifts. HO! HO! HO! I’m hoping that everyone had great Christmas and you

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from the

were on the Good list. Right, Kathleen? Did you notice the weather during the last week in November? Rain, rain, go away! If you were the director going to the cemetery you can relate to this. Yes, that perfect grave, you know the one in the middle of nowhere. The one where the plywood and carpet runs out half way there. When you step off the grass and walk an additional ten feet you have mud to your knees. Your black dress shoes are caked with clay. You watch as the Pall Bearers try to keep upright carrying the casket up the hill. It’s hard to keep your composure as they comment on how much so and so has gained weight. The rain doesn’t help the ladies wearing high heels. With so much moisture in the ground, aerating with the spiked heels isn’t needed. Losing a heel isn’t funny. What I enjoy watching is the ladies with the open toed strap heels. I watched as one stepped onto the carpet and enough water came over the carpet to cover her shoes to her ankles. Oh, the joys of being a funeral director!

Past President

Just when you thought the rains were over, we have the last week in December 2015! The flooding on the Missouri, Meramec and the Mississippi River looked like the Flood of ‘93’. So much water in the little streams and in the farm fields, it would appear as though farmers were double cropping beans to rice. Damage to the Interstate Highways, railroads, businesses and homes. I pray everyone has a quick recovery. Just a reminder, mark your calendar for a couple of dates: Tri-State convention will be May 8-11, 2016 at the Overland Park Convention Center. Missouri only convention will be held at the Lodge of the Four Seasons, Lake of the Ozarks on June 4-7, 2017. We always have great conventions at these locations. Hope to see you there! With 2016 starting, have you planned your New Year’s resolutions? Your resolutions have to last longer than the Super Bowl weekend. …. And by the way, I’m politically incorrect – I hope you had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!


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When a hero falls, Wilbert is there. Commemorating First Responders Wilbert’s Commemorating First Responders program provides families of firefighters, law enforcement officers and emergency medical personnel who have died in the line of duty with a tribute worthy of their valor and sacrifice. At no charge to the family, Wilbert Funeral Services will donate a customized Wilbert Stainless Steel Triune burial vault. If the choice is cremation, we offer a selection of urns, as well as a Stainless Steel Triune urn vault for memorial tribute. If permitted, a WilbertWay graveside service may also be included. Learn more about providing this program to the families and communities you serve by contacting your Wilbert representative or local plant for more information.

When a first responder falls in your community, please contact us for assistance. Michael Nash Regional Marketing Manager (816) 810-7884 - Mobile mnash@wilbert.com DJ Roshan Regional Marketing Manager (417) 379-5519 - Mobile djroshan@wilbert.com Dan Welzenbach Regional Vice President (816) 966-9000 danwelzenbach@wilbert.com

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