Sweetening Life Through Accountability By Angela Totman
Have you ever met someone that is positive all the time? They seem to face any adversity and maintain an optimistic outlook. I very much admire these individuals. They seem to have the personality to know inherently how to turn lemons into lemonade. In contrast, I am intense, cynical, and my mind naturally leans towards over analysis. In times of adversity, I find it easy to “what if” myself into uncertainty and sit in inaction. I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. As someone who declared at a very early age that I had no interest in being average… my tendency for anxiety and over empathy proved to be problematic. I remember in the third-grade lying on the ground in the fetal position on the playground simply not knowing what to do with myself because I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I was at a new school after having moved from another state and I remember it so vividly, I can even describe the light purple romper outfit I was wearing that day. How does someone whom is inclined to lean into fear and safety live an exceptional life? How does someone who wants to be better than average overcome themselves enough to be accountable to and realize that vision? Isn’t it much easier to turn adversity into victory when you live life through the lens of hope and possibility? Throughout my career, I have been blessed to meet and work with the most amazing individuals. Some of whom I would put into the perpetually positive category. This allowed me to realize that even the most positive individuals have moments that seem insurmountable. I’ve learned through my own experience and necessity, as well as by working with others, that we all have the ability to cultivate the skills needed to face these metaphorical mountains. Not only are we able to mount the peaks, but in doing so, redefine success and then 13
look towards the next mountain not just ready, but optimistic about the process of the climb. The result has been a career working alongside amazing brands and people like Sharon Lechter and being a founding member of the Assets Are Sexy financial empowerment movement. I turned what seemed would be my greatest weakness into what has become one of my most powerful assets. What could have been a crippling need for control and known outcomes has instead become the driving force for how I not only empower myself, but now empower others to be accountable to their own goals and vision. I continue to fulfill my desire to live a life that is not average… and in doing so have developed a pathway to help others create their own exceptional life. And it all starts with the following questions: Are you clear on your priorities? Not everything can be a priority. Be clear on what is most important to you and give yourself permission to honor those priorities. If you have a priority, it deserves your time and energy and there will be temptations to direct that energy elsewhere. Have a plan for managing that temptation. Say yes to the action steps that serve your priorities and release yourself from the guilt of saying no to the things that don’t. What is the exact problem you are facing? How can you overcome a challenge if you don’t know what the challenge is? Be as objective as possible so emotion doesn’t cloud your perspective and convince you that the problem is anything other than what it is. There is a difference between solving the symptoms of a problem and tackling the problem head on. If you have difficulty being objective, describe the problem and then for each statement, ask yourself if that statement is factual or is based on your perception alone. Most importantly, is the problem you are facing related to one
