PO E M S A B O U T D E A T H & L O SS
Those who think about death, carrying with them their existing ideas and emotions, usually assume that they will have, during their last hours, ideas and emotions of like vividness ... but they do not fully recognize the implication that the feeling faculty, too, is almost gone. The imagine the state to be one in which they can have emotions such as they now have on contemplating the cessation of life. But at the last all the mental powers simultaneously ebb, as do the bodily powers, and with them goes the capacity for emotion in general. It is, indeed, possible that in its last stages consciousness is occupied by a not displeasurable sense of rest. HERBERT SPENCER Facts and Comments
TABLE OF CONTENTS
IS O L A T E D A N D F O R G O T TEN THE FIGHT T H E M A N S H E C O U L D N E V E R HAVE SELF HARM 15 STITCHES IF ONLY YOU KNEW SLIP AWAY M Y B E S T F R I E N D ’ S D E P A RTURE NO MORE PAIN
ISOLATED AND FORGOTTEN by Tamara
If anyone will listen, to what I’m about to say, please understand the hurt I feel, And how I got this way. Left behind in darkness, wedged between walls of ice, I pray that someone hears me, friend, foe, or even Jesus Christ. Isolated in my fears, caught between truth and the lies. Will someone hear me screaming, Or hear my desperate, pleading cries?
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I don’t believe in loving, or having a caring friend, because the second that you trust them, is the second that they bend. So In this hallow heart of mine, Is a ivy of envy that’s staring to twine, and sprout the weeds of guilt, That slowly began to quilt, Over my hatred that began to grow, Over my soul’s ocean to ever flow, Which to that I began to fall, and to which I lost it all. I’m sorry for the people I’ve hurt, With this death I have presented, But seeing what this could’ve been, There’s nothing that could’ve been prevented.
THE FIGHT by Anna
My bodies cold lips are blue why did I do this because of you? I feel the earth below me like a pillow under my head no knives, no guns, but pills instead The bottle lays empty cap unscrewed what did I do? what did I do? My spirit floats my body lays my lover finds me and he prays
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I reach for him I’m sucked away like a deep crest of a wave he pounds the ground screaming why oh why? I asked myself why did I? My parents arrive, my best friend too I thought to myself, What did I do!? I look away the pains to deep my life is over because of me I look back for one last glance they zip me up in the body bag. I did this to ease my pain I lost instead of gained as I look down my family I regret that night my life stopped ticking because of a fight.
THE MAN SHE COULD NEVER HAVE by Judd Gurr
I’ll walk down the aisle all alone No ones there they all went home I see the coffin I see your face How could you do such a disgrace I can’t hear your voice I can’t speak your name This doesn’t feel like before it doesn’t feel the same I don’t understand I can’t contemplate All I do is feel so much misery and hate Why did you leave me why did you die Was it to waste my time or watch me cry
9 How could this be better how can I remain When every breathe I take causes so much pain As the day goes by I have to watch my loved ones cry Just because you couldn’t stand to live that you had to die I don’t know what you were thinking but I see what you have done And all of this just because you thought drugs would be fun I can’t do this anymore I can’t stand to watch them fall As your drunken little girl stumbles down the hall Into your empty bedroom she hurries up her pace You can tell she has been crying from the marks left on her face Do you feel better know you’ve gone Will she feel better knowing she was wronged She was taken from her dad
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The only man that loved her he was all she had Now she is left with nothing Just a picture and your ring Does she know she will see you die every night in her dreams You where once her dad And know you’re the man she can never have.
SELF HARM by Amar Qamar
It calls me closer, its calls me near “Just once and it’ll be over” Death whispers in my ear Irresistible is its sweet entice Staring down, which one to slice, I observe my previous tries My unseen hurt and earlier cries No peace in my mind, no peace in my head The quiet intelligent me, long since fled Anger and rage consumes me My minds demons bursting to be free The walls of my cage finally cave “Just be still, just be brave” I slash down with an improvised knife “Forget this world, forget my life”
Blood oozes and drips down the drain A slight tingle but no real pain A Calmness comes over me My last attempt please, it’s got to be “Screw everyone, that’s made me into this” The very same people who I’m going to miss Tears stream down my cheek, My head feels heavy, I get dizzy and legs go weak Darkness surrounds me, I get a glimpse of the abyss I embrace the darkness, then hear a shriek... Then nothing.... Blankness, no sound I feel my body drifting I hear scraping, something’s stirring around Surrounding me, I can here creatures shifting I hear a scream, I hear a moan I want my family, I’m all alone I hear cry, I hear a sob And realize it’s my own I know I have sinned, still I pray to god “Please get me out of this hell” I start to yell... No sound out my mouth, only in my mind
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14 No one to help me, no one for me to find I’ve never felt so scared.... My soul finally screamed and despaired “I give up...” A light??? My consciousness returns As it starts to get bright I feel myself falling A faint faraway voice, I hear someone calling Brighter now, getting brighter still I feel myself escaping from this hell Has it been months or has it been years? Since I was stuck in that prison, Trapped with my fears I open my eyes, and look around I’m lying in a bed in a hospital gown The worried looks on their faces makes me ashamed Sitting and staring no one makes a sound “Sorry” is all I say... Mother starts crying, my farther is sad Finding me like that, must have been bad... I get a kiss and a cuddle, A pat from my father,
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My minds in a muddle I still manage a small smile, And close my eyes for a while, I promise myself, from this day on and till I die I’m going to be the best person I can Or at least try Like a old cliche “Live everyday like it’s the last” Forget all the bad days, I’m leaving them in the past The sun is shining, my dark clouds have vanished My demons have gone, finally banished Life is good, life is great, Forget wallowing in self pity I tell you, straight.
15 STITCHES by Laura Solis
Fifteen stitches on my left arm Had nothing to do with the pain in my heart A broken glass was what did the harm Not the thoughts in my head or the hand that I love Behind the bandage were the secrets I kept With no one to blame but two troubled heads You never saw all the clues that I left Not even the letter that said were I went I could have posted it up on a billboard or wall But you would of looked pass it with no clue at all I kept it inside for a really long time With nothing to show but the tears that I cried
17 You’re perfect! You told me you do nothing wrong And that’s what I thought when I did what I’ve done Again the tears fell from the eyes of a child Who never felt loved, not even a while? A’s and A’s were my grades in school With that I thought that I had you fooled But as soon as a b or a c would show up Your word would bring back the blood from my arm We’re your parents! You told me we know what’s best for you now! So how come you locked me in this hell house I tried to escape, I tried to just leave But no one would give me a sharp knife or key Only the dead can come back to life But why does the living feel so dead inside I repeated that over and over again But that wouldn’t change the thoughts in my head
18 I’m not perfect! I said I do everything wrong! And that’s what I said when you knew what I’ve done Dripping down was the blood of a child Who never felt loved, not even a while As I fell on the floor I heard a soft voice Who said you’re okay, who said you’re with god I don’t want to be! I yelled I don’t want to be here! I just wanted parents who would love me to tears! In a hospital bed I woke up the next day In a room full of candies, flowers and heads Kisses and hugs were all thrown my way Gross comments and yelling were all miles away I lifted my head as I turned to the door Two people stepped in that I’ve never see before Half smiles on their faces and flowers galore They gave one k
IF ONLY YOU KNEW by Jackie
I never told you because I thought you knew, but I am not sure that would change what you planned so long to do. I had a funny feeling something was wrong, when my cell phone went off at two in the morning- playing our song. And then I woke to find that you had died, but I couldn’t find the tears or I would’ve cried. Your parents loved you and they told you, but that didn’t stop what you planned so long to do.
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You were a terrific person, a tough and determined guy I never saw you worry and I never saw you cry. I have wasted many tears on you, I have prayed for you too. But every day I wonder if you’d still be here if you knew, if only you listened, you would have known I loved you too.
SLIP AWAY by Kimmi Lewis
You can scream but no one hears you, As you sit and mock in disdain, The blood seeps down your arm As your crying out loud in pain, The broken glass beside the bath, The water turning red, Laying down in a bloody puddle, Trying to rest your head. You can hear your family laugh As you say your last words Feeling as high as the sky, Flying away with the birds..
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The pain is going away now And you can’t help but hear You’re mum crying next to you.. In hurt and fear. You try to speak, But nothing comes out... You know your going away You’re never going to live with doubt. As you feel death coming near You hear her say “I love you” As you slip in to a permanent sleep You reply with I love you too...
MY BEST FRIEND’S DEPARTURE by Carina Spencer
I jumped, you caught me. I laughed, you joked. I was down, you picked me up. I crumbled, you glued me back together. I loved you, you loved me back. You jumped, I couldn’t catch you. You forgot to laugh, I couldn’t remind you. You were down, I couldn’t hold you. You crumbled, I had no glue. You loved me, I still love you. Without no warning or sign, You ventured to a world divine.
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I refused to say goodbye, Yet tonight I cry. My tears are for you my friend, But our legacy will not end. For I shall see you soon, But first I have living to do. I promise I won’t forget, Your face is embedded in my heart.
NO MORE PAIN by Reann Roden
Crazy thoughts in his head, all he wants is to be dead. Inside he’s screaming, feels a lot of pain, day by day he’s going insane. His drinking increases he wont stop, all that including smoking pot. Drugs thinking for him, he can’t think, all he wants is for his mind to be blank. He plans the day, says goodbye, we think jail, but that was a lie. He’s screaming we don’t hear him, “This is the only way”, he thinks,
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“I’m not going back to the pin.” He tries to seek help, they don’t listen, they didn’t care how he felt. That night he took a rope put it around his neck and choked. No more pain, at least not for him, all because of drinking and drugs I lost my best friend. No more crazy thoughts in his head, he got what he wanted...now he’s dead.
It seems a strange and repugnant conclusion that with the cessation of consciousness at death, there ceases to be any knowledge of having existed. With his last breath it becomes to each the same thing as though he had never lived. And then the consciousness itself -- what is it during the time that it continues? And what becomes of it when it ends? We can only infer that it is a specialized and individualized form of that Infinite and Eternal Energy which transcends both our knowledge and our imagination; and that at death its elements lapse into the Infinite and Eternal Energy whence they were derived. -Herbert Spencer