04/21/2015

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The Miserable

LEWD

2014

Proposal: If the wind harp makes noise, finals are cancelled, students will receive 100% on exams ALEX TREBECK A Man with Answers

With final exams tugging at every student’s nerves, an alternative proposal by the Undergraduate Student Government to Michigan Technological University’s President Glenn Mroz may just be the breath of fresh air that some students may need. The proposal goes a little like this. If the wind harp located in front of the Chemical Sciences and Engineering Building actually produces a noise by midnight on Sunday April 27, all final exams will be cancelled and all students will receive 100 percent for their grades on the exams. President Mroz in an exclusive interview spilled the beans why he felt confident that he could accept the proposal. “There are three things I know for sure. Houghton is going to have snow in winter, bird is the word, and that wind harp is not going to make a peep more than a church mouse.” The harp’s aesthetic qualities have never been questioned as several students have mistaken the sculpture for a work by Donatello, the promise of serenading students with a lively tune on a windy day has been the only downfall. The proposal by USG is an attempt to get students to rally behind the piece of art and look past it’s lone flaw. Since hearing of the proposal by the USG, several Michigan Tech clubs are putting plans into effect to see if they can get the harp to sing. The Math and Physics Clubs joined forces and spent 72 hours last week trying to figure out the amount of wind that will be required in order to make the harp sing. The number they calculated was approximately 450 miles per hour, which is also the speed required to create a tornado with enough power to pick sharks up out of the ocean creating the mythical Sharknado. Several engineering clubs have attempted to form a committee to produce a wind machine that will make the winds through the campus mall swift enough. Several problems have arisen though, including naturally the danger of producing a Sharknado. So unless exams are just a high point of your year, feel free to go out and run some laps around the campus mall and get some winds a swirling and make that harp sing like a canary.

News:

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News:

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JUST LOOK FOR YOURSELF

How many people have actually heard the damned thing make noise? Not many.

Pulse: Scientist scramble to explain UFO

Photo by Thing 1

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Opinion: Beer prices rise

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Sports:

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Pavel Datsyuk assits Pearson in offseason training


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