Military Press, Dec. 15, 2015

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CHRISTMAS! ARE YOU REALLY OFFENDED? Y

es, Virginia, there is a “war on Christmas� — and we’re losing it because we’re too afraid that you might get your feelings hurt. Just look at the controversy surrounding the release of Starbucks’ “holiday� cups this year. Social media went berserk because the cups had no writing on them. No mention of which holiday they were celebrating. by Tom Chambers Of course, we all know the secret code. The overpriced, festive, red piece of cardboard in which I enjoy my caramel macchiato isn’t a reference to Hanukkah. Or Kwanzaa. Or New Year’s, for that matter. It’s about Christmas, hence the shade akin to Santa’s coat. But we can’t say the c-word. Now, don’t worry. This isn’t a tirade about the ways our pagan society has turned its back on Christ and the religious overtones of the “holiday.� Frankly, it’s doubtful he really cares whether we celebrate his birthday, and Christmas has become so secularized over the years that we can hardly call it “religious.� And it’s not the crazy Christians or the pagan left that deserve credit for this angry debate over lumping Dec. 25 with all the other holidays. No, it’s the rest of us — who have fallen into the trap of sacrificing truth to appease worries that we might (gasp!) offend someone. Humbug to that. Some 80 percent of Americans celebrate Christmas, and no matter how many “season’s greetings� and “happy holidays� you send to us, we know what you mean. “Merry Christmas� — and that’s what you should say. Christmas is, without a doubt, the largest, most celebrated Western holiday. In this age of multiculturalism, it’s regretful that we can’t keep some of our own culture — a culture 2,000 years in the making — while we fear re-

PREACHING TO THE CHOIR

CHRISTMAS, continued on Page 19

1971

remember when...

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Midshipmen increase streak to 14 Page 2

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NAVY SINKS ARMY ONCE MORE, 21-17 Reynolds drives

Midshipmen’s streak to 14

PHILADELPHIA — With a shot at history at stake, Keenan Reynolds ended his Navy career with a clean sweep against Army. Navy coach Ken Niumatalolo just might go out the same way. Reynolds rushed for two touchdowns and threw for another score to lead the No. 21 Midshipmen to their 14th straight win over the Black Knights 21-17 on Dec. 12 at Lincoln Financial Field. “That was the No. 1 goal,� Reynolds said. “To be able to be here four years and never lose against Army, that’s huge.� The Midshipmen (10-2) can hook an anchor to the Commander-In-Chief ’s Trophy. It’s coming back to Annapolis, Maryland, after a one-year hiatus. “We get to go to the White House this year and get our trophy back,� Reynolds said. Reynolds’ second rushing touchdown was his 85th career score, the most for any Division I player. He is the first quarter-

Navy wide receiver Jamir Tillman dives for the end zone and scores what would be the winning touchdown, on a Keenan Reynolds pass in the third quarter. The Navy Midshipmen defeated the Army West Point Black Knights, 21-17, in the 116th Army Navy Football Game at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia.

Army coach Jeff Monken showed his field goal early in the quarter. Chris Carter back over the 116-game series to go 4-0. Niumatalolo improved to 8-0 against program might be closing the gap on Navy lost a fumble at the Navy 34-yard line that the Black Knights (2-10) two days before but blew any chance of an upset in the was recovered by linebacker Ted Colburn. he is set to visit BYU to talk about the pro- fourth quarter. NAVY, continued on Page 16 Daniel Grochowski missed a 29-yard gram’s coaching vacancy.

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Navy quarterback Keenan Reynolds finds a hole and runs 58-yards for a touchdown in the first quarter.

Game steeped in tradition Here are some facts you may not know lin Roosevelt required anyone in attendance at the game to buy war bonds. about the Army-Navy game tradition. The winning school sings the loser’s The first meeting between the United States Military Academy and the United alma mader first at the end of the game, as States Naval Academy was on November a sign of good sportsmanship. 20, 1890. The Navy won the game 24-0 against the Army, kicking off a rivalry that has spanned more than a century. At the start of the game the academies participate in a “prisoner swap,� where students who studied at their rival school for the semester are returned. The president attends every game and By Jim Bransfield has since President Theodore Roosevelt The Middletown Press made it a tradition in 1901. The current streak of 14 wins by the watched the end of the Army vs. Navy Navy is the longest in the rivalry’s history. game Dec. 12. Funny, I thought I was Instant replay made its debut during watching a sports event, but it turned the 1963 rivalry game. out to be so much more. When Navy won the 1893 game, a rear The best thing? The post-game Alma admiral and a brigadier general got into a Mater’s sung by both schools. heated argument that almost led to a duel, As I listened to them sing and looked and resulted in the two teams not compet- at their images — some tear-stained — ing against the other for five years. on the television, it occurred to me once The incident is what prompted the move again, that in spite of everything, our to the neutral location of Philadelphia. country has a bright future. The first helmet is widely thought to The American people, in their righteous have been worn during the 1983 game. might, cannot be defeated. The winner of the match is awarded the I don’t care what the threat, if we adhere Thompson Cup, named after Robert M. to our values and not succumb to fear, hate Thompson who donated the trophy. and intolerance, if we do not answer the The winning service academy partici- siren songs of ugly-American wanna-be pates in a tradition known as a “night of leaders who preach exclusion, intolerance, liberty,� where students are free of respon- and prejudice, the United States will again sibilities. be a beacon of hope for the world. Dwight Eisenhower played in the 1926 We defeated the scourge of fascism in rivalry game, the only president to do so. World War II, we outlasted the viciousEvery year the service academies film ness of international communism, we spirit videos, as a form of “trash talk� in the overcame the bane of slavery and Jim days leading up to the game. Crow, we are embarrassed at our internIt is a tradition for the service acad- ment of Japanese-Americans in World emies to steal the opponent’s mascot the War II and recognize how wrong and unweek of the game. FOOTBALL, continued on Page 17 For the 1944 matchup, President Frank'PS BEWFSUJTJOH JOGPSNBUJPO DBMM t BEWFSUJTJOH!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

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2015 NFL PLAYOFF PICTURE COMES INTO FOCUS Pats, Cards clinch; AFC North in play By Jon Benne SBNation

The NFL playoff picture is starting to get a lot clearer. Two more teams punched their postseason tickets, while five were mathematically eliminated. Meanwhile, there is no shortage of drama in the NFC East, the AFC South has devolved back into a race to the bottom and the AFC North is far from over. First, let’s talk about the clinching teams. The Arizona Cardinals secured their spot with a narrow win over the Minnesota Vikings, moving to 11-2. They With a 33-20 win over the Bengals, the Steelers are just two games back and have a chance to make the playoffs. could’ve clinched the NFC West if the Seattle Seahawks somehow lost, but the Se- Ravens and moved up to the No. 5 seed, Seattle now has a two-game lead over the ahawks made quick work of the Baltimore owning a tiebreaker win over the Vikings. field in the NFC wild card race, but its running game is suddenly a concern after Thomas Rawls suffered a season-ending HONOR, CELEBRATE, COMMEMORATE! ankle injury. The other clinching team is the New Leave a Lasting Legacy at NTC/Liberty Station England Patriots, who shook off a twoHonor the military service of a game skid with a 27-6 thumping of the loved one. Or recognize a special Houston Texans. The Patriots also reevent, family member or friend. claimed the top seed in the AFC after the Denver Broncos and Cincinnati Bengals stumbled earlier on Sunday. The Bengals’ season got thrown for a loop when Andy Dalton broke his thumb, BUY A BRICK which could cost him the rest of the seaACT NOW son. That left AJ McCarron pressed into in time for the holidays. service, and he was helpless as the Pittsburgh Steelers cruised to a 33-20 win. www.NTCFoundation.com 844-NTC-BRIX (844-682-2749) The Steelers are now just two games back of the Bengals and are one of the hottest teams in the league. This division race could get interesting real fast.

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The NFC East remains unchanged Washington and the Philadelphia Eagles both won to stay tied for first, with Washington holding a head-to-head tiebreaker for now. It’s looking more and more like their Week 16 rematch will decide the division crown, unless the New York Giants somehow get back into this. The Dallas Cowboys are just about done at 4-9, but still not eliminated yet because, again, NFC East. Speaking of bad divisions, the AFC South went 1-3 on Sunday, with the only win coming from the Jacksonville Jaguars, who laid a 51-16 smack down on the Indianapolis Colts. The Texans’ wild card hopes are almost over, and their Week 15 matchup with the Colts could be a win-orgo-home situation. In the AFC West, the Broncos failed to clinch their division while the Kansas City Chiefs keep sneaking up, now sitting just two games behind. These teams split their regular season series, but Kansas City holds a slight edge in division record, so keep an eye out on that race. Andy Reid’s squad has somehow won seven in a row despite losing Jamaal Charles halfway through the year. Finally, let’s bid a fond farewell to the Baltimore Ravens, Tennessee Titans, San Diego Chargers, Detroit Lions and San Francisco 49ers, who were officially eliminated from postseason contention this week. Better luck next year, and check out the latest draft position here.

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San Diego Padres pitcher James Shields (left) and outfielder Wil Myers (right) pose for a picture with members of the U.S. Navy after revealing the team’s new navy digital camouflage jerseys modeled after U.S. Navy uniforms.

Padres unveil new Navy jersey 2011. The jersey features the updated Padres wordmark across the chest and an American flag patch on the left sleeve. The Padres will wear gray pants at home on Sundays to match the lighter gray in the digital pattern. The look will be topped off with the The San Diego Padres unveiled a new navy digital camouflage jersey modeled traditional Padres blue hat with a white “SD�. after U.S. Navy uniforms. The Marine digital camouflage jerseys Continuing a longstanding tradition in San Diego, these uniforms will be worn Padres players have worn during Military for Sunday home games, which honor the Sundays since 2011 will be worn twice during the 2016 season — on U.S. Marine military. The full Sunday uniforms were debuted Corps Appreciation Day and on U.S. Army by Padres Manager Andy Green, Padres Appreciation Day. It will be updated with outfielder Wil Myers and Padres pitcher the new Padres wordmark. Moving forward, the Marine and Navy James Shields during a press conference on the flight deck of the USS Theodore digital camouflage jerseys both will remain in the Sunday jersey rotation, alternating Roosevelt. Also in attendance were Padres each year which will be worn most often. Padres players have worn camouflage President & CEO Mike Dee, San Diego Mayor Kevin Faulconer, Capt. Craig jerseys in honor of the military for the past Clapperton, Commanding Officer of the 16 seasons. The club first introduced a camouflage USS Theodore Roosevelt, and 50 sailors design representing the Army (woodland from the USS Theodore Roosevelt. The Padres worked directly with the design) in 2000. In 2006, the design was updated to U.S. Navy to receive permission to use its official blue camouflage digital pattern. represent Navy SEALs (desert camouflage, The four-color (deck gray, haze gray, black worn from 2006-10). The current digitally and Navy blue) design is modeled after produced MARPAT (Marine pattern) the Navy Working Uniform Type 1, which jersey has been worn for the past five sailors affectionately refer to as their seasons. When replicas of the new Navy digital “blueberries.� The Chief of Naval Operations officially camouflage jerseys become available in authorized the blue camouflage uniforms the Padres Majestic Team Store, a portion to be worn by active duty sailors in August of each sale will go back to the U.S. Navy. 'PS BEWFSUJTJOH JOGPSNBUJPO DBMM t BEWFSUJTJOH!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

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THE 10 BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES OF ALL TIME By Oliver Lyttelton & Nicholas Laskin IndieWire

C

hristmas movies hit theaters this in advance of Thanksgiving. Studios release their Christmas movies well in advance to let them play longer in theaters, knowing that few will want to see them once January rolls around. In an entirely unrelated move, we’ve been thinking about Christmas films. And so below, you’ll find 10 of the best ever.

‘Babes In Toyland’ (1930)

Perhaps a Christmas movie more out of its association with a ton of toys than because of a seasonal vibe (though Santa Claus does make an appearance), “Babes In Toyland,� a very loose adaptation of the operetta of the same name, is a movie that became a holiday TV staple, airing on New York’s WPIX for many years. If it does not quite encompass Laurel & Hardy’s finest hour, the film is certainly one of their most imaginative and family-friendly efforts. The two play Stannie and Ollie, two toymaker’s assistants who live in a shoe in Toyland who try to raise money to stop the evil Silas (Henry Kleinbach) from forcing

Some movies, like “A Christmas Story,� become classics long after their release through repeated airings on television.

Bow Peep (Florence Roberts) to marry him against his will. Surprisingly convoluted plot wise and even surprisingly scary by the time bogeymen invade at the end,

the film perhaps suffers in comparison to Laurel & Hardy’s best by letting the comedy take a back seat to the plot and adventure elements. But the two are as good as ever when given a chance, the film makes good use of the music throughout, and there’s a level of imagination at play that should still capture the attention of kids who aren’t checking Twitter every five minutes...

‘A Christmas Story’ (1983)

Christmas movies become classics not necessarily on release, but often due to a time-honored tradition of endless TV repetition while you’re in a food coma. It happened to “It’s A Wonderful Life� back in the day, it happened to “Elf � and “Love Actually� since, and it’s happened to “A Christmas Story,� which airs in a continuous Christmas Eve marathon on TBS every year. Based on stories by anecdotalist Jean Shepherd, the film follows young Ralphie (Peter Billingsley, who’d grow up to be a director and inflict “Couples Retreat� on us) growing up in the 1940s and dreaming of a BB gun, while his parents (Darren McGavin and Melinda Dillon) feud over the fire, the next door dogs, and a lamp in the shape of a woman’s leg. Directed by “Porky’s� helmer Bob Clark, who co-wrote with Shepherd, this is a rare Christmas movie that doesn’t over-sentimentalize childhood, opting instead for a winningly specific look at family life and as much focus on the perceived injustices of preadolescence as on heartwarming holiday cheer. Those of us who grew up outside the U.S. and didn’t have it as a childhood staple might be a little puzzled by its place in the canon — it’s very sitcomy, in part because Clark shoots it that way — but there are certainly worse movies to watch twelve times in a row while present-wrapping.

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the people who announce, usually unprovoked, that “Die Hard� is their favorite Christmas movie — it’s like people whose favorite Beatle is Ringo, or who never fail to mention how they’re not on Facebook. But that doesn’t change the fact that “Die Hard� is one of the three or four best action movies ever made and an indisputably excellent Christmas film, or at least Christmas-set film. Adapted from Roderick Thorp’s novel, it’s a lean, perfectly constructed thriller that sees NYPD Detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) heading to L.A, where his estranged wife (Bonnie Bedelia) is working, to attempt to win her back, only to be caught up when terrorists take over the building where she works. Sure, the film mostly uses Christmas as iconography and backdrop, and yes, the film wasn’t released during the season (it opened in July of that year), but the film works in part because of the backbone of reuniting an estranged family, and what’s more Christmasy than that? Of course, it also works because of the terrific performances by Willis, Alan Rickman and others, the immaculate direction by John McTiernan, the terrific script, and more. But also: Christmas.

‘Elf’ (2003)

Nearly all of Will Ferrell’s characters seem possessed by a sort of indefinable mania. Sometimes it’s is hidden beneath a fairly normal veneer (“Old School�, “The Other Guys�), and other times it is not (“Step Brothers�). In Jon Favreau’s charming yuletide yarn “Elf,� Ferrell dials down the vulgarity and aggression that his dunderheaded comic characters often exudes and turns in one of his most earnest, poignant performances to date. The film isn’t exactly substantial — even at its best, it’s light as a cream puff — but as an example of its genre, it’s got heart and laughs to spare. The plot of the film involves Ferrell as one ‘Die Hard’ (1988) There’s something irritably smug about of Santa’s elves who grows up and travels XXX NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN t FEJUPSTEFTL!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He’d been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.�

to New York to find his biological father (James Caan) and his apparently neverending quest to spread Christmas cheer, even where it is clearly not wanted. The film reflects Buddy’s restlessly optimistic tone, making it a decidedly old-fashioned and satisfying holiday entertainment (the stop-motion animation that’s heavily present early in the film fondly recalls Rankin Bass’s animated special “Rudolph the RedNosed Reindeer�). A winning mix of traditional holiday farce and a typically irreverent Ferrell vehicle, “Elf � holds up probably better than it should — it’s just the right mix of old and new and features one of Ferrell’s most heartrending turns.

‘Home Alone’ (1990)

‘Gremlins’ (1984)

This season will see “Krampus� try to capture a mix of horror, comedy and festive spirit that’s really only been pulled off once, via Joe Dante’s glorious “Gremlins.� Like “Die Hard,� released in the summer but set at Christmas, it’s a gorgeously and subversively funny, splattery monster movie with a big heart, but aside from its snowy setting, its greatest contribution Even if you’ve seen “Home Alone� a dozen times, it’s still holds up as a holiday classic. to the Christmas canon might be Phoebe Cates’ dry, darkly hilarious monologue. from work. A couple hours went by. Dad was falling apart. It was snowing outside. “The worst thing that ever happened to wasn’t home. So mom called the office. No The house was freezing, so I went to try me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was answer. Christmas Day came and went, to light up the fire. That’s when I noticed so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was and still nothing. So the police began a the smell. The firemen came and broke 9- years-old. Me and mom were decorat- search. Four or five days went by. Neither through the chimney top. And me and Military Ad July 2015_9.417x6.25 10% home OFF Xmas_Layout 11/23/15 4:05 PM Page 1 mom were expecting them to pull out a one of us 1could eat or sleep. Everything ing the tree, waiting for dad to come

The film that was until recently the most successful live-action comedy of all time, and also the inspiration for a whole generation of ’90s kids to create imaginary, elaborate traps with which they could thwart intruders, “Home Alone� is really an escalating series of frenzied, violent gags culminating is a not-so-surprisingly sentimental finish. It’s somewhat comforting in its familiarity: even if you’ve seen the film dozens of times and can see the gags coming from a mile away, “Home Alone� is still the zippy, spirited holiday classic that made Macaulay Culkin a star and cemented Joe Pesci (the same year he starred in Martin Scorsese’s “Goodfellas,� go figure) and Daniel Stern as bumbling suburban bogeymen. It’s easy to see the appeal that Culkin’s Kevin McCallister has for the younger viewer: he is an unapologetic rule-breaker, living by his own set of principles. What does he do when his parCHRISTMAS MOVIES, continued on Page 14

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An aiport at Camp Pendleton? Marines say ‘no way’ 2015 sets Corps blasts Cal State study

The Marine Corps, after reviewing a study of the feasibility of building an international airport on Camp Pendleton released a statement saying it does not support the idea. California State University San Marcos MBA students unveiled an economic analysis Wednesday night to an auditorium full of students and interested parties, including San Diego businessmen Irwin Jacobs and Malin Burnham, who support exploring the idea. The business graduates presented their findings that a Southern California International Airport with two runways could

be built in the southwest corner of Camp Pendleton for less than $10 billion. Their research suggests alternatives to traditional methods of airport financing with public bonds. The students advocated for public and private partnerships, including attracting an international air carrier to help design the airport as a mega hub. The study found that only 26 percent of international departures leave from the West Coast, while 41 percent leave from the East Coast and 33 percent leave from hubs in the Midwest. Bearing in mind that trade with the Pacific Rim is increasingly competing with European connections, the report argues there is a strong case to be made for a new international airline hub in Southern California.

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record for U.S. terror arrests

However, the research did not include comparisons with San Bernardino International Airport, which has failed to attract an international airline, in spite of a major investment of $200 million to convert the former Norton Air Force Base into a commercial airport. The CSUSM study estimated a new international airport would yield annual economic benefits of between $2 bilThe United States has arrested 71 lion and $5 billion, mainly due to growpeople on charges connected to the acing tourism from China. The analysis tivities of the Islamic State since March showed regional businesses benefitting, 2014, including 56 this year — a record including neighboring casinos. number of terrorist arrests since the Increased real estate values were also Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. A new study from presented as a benefit, since wealthy visiGeorge Washington University outlines tors from Asia would be in a position to the demographics of the people arbid up the price of real estate. rested, which paint a chilling picture of The response from Marine Corps InstalISIS’ recruiting efforts. lations West was similar to the reaction “While jihadist causes have lured in 2006, when an initiative on the ballot American recruits for several decades, suggested building a joint civilian/milithe surge spurred by the rise of ISIS and tary airport at Marine Corps Air Station its sophisticated marketing of its counMiramar. ter-culture to impressionable AmeriIn a statement, Carl B Redding Jr., dicans is unprecedented,� the study says. rector of public affairs for Marine Corps The group is so diverse, ranging from Installations West at Camp Pendleton, a 15-year-old boy to a 47-year-old Air wrote: Force Veteran, that it makes it hard for “Camp Pendleton is not supportive of authorities to find a solution to preventany plan to house an international airport ing their radicalization. on the base. As the largest coastal base for They come from different states, sothe Marine Corps and the only location cioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds, on the West Coast to conduct amphibious “defying any cookie-cutter profile of landing operations and training, Camp the American ISIS supporter,� the rePendleton is a unique and irreplaceable searchers say. They include college stuasset important to the defense of the nadents, teenage girls, and a former funtion and its interests around the world.� damentalist Christian, from all over “The primary value of Camp Pendleton the United States. is in its ranges — integrated land, sea, and The study does identify some broad air space, with committed live-fire optrends. The recruits are young, on averportunities unmatched anywhere in the age 26 years old; 86 percent are men, world. These training ranges cannot be reand the overwhelming majority are U.S. placed or duplicated,� the statement read. citizens. It confirms data from a previ“Furthermore, Marines aboard Camp ous study from March conducted by Pendleton conduct artillery, mortar, and Fordham University’s School of Law. air-to-ground munitions training, which As of this fall, authorities mention a is incompatible with housing a large intertotal of about 250 Americans who have national airport on the base. either traveled or attempted to go to the “Plus, the impacts to the environment Middle East to join ISIS, and 900 active and surrounding communities will reinvestigations against the organization’s quire expensive and extensive mitigasympathizers across the country. tion efforts destroying years of carefully American ISIS supporters, far away planned and executed environmental from the battlefields in Syria and Iraq, stewardship of both Camp Pendleton and are active on social media, especially its neighbors. Twitter, “where they spasmodically cre“Simply put, building an international ate accounts that often get suspended in airport anywhere on Camp Pendleton a never-ending cat-and-mouse game,� renders the rest of the base effectively the study says. It may be hard to tell who unusable for Marine Corps training evowill make the leap from online fanboy lutions like Exercise Steel Knight that is to armed militant, but the U.S. governcurrently being conducted and places into ment’s methods of determining and arjeopardy the mission of the Marine Corps resting alleged recruits have been crition the base.� cized in the past, for overblowing the A representative from California Asthreats they posed or for coaxing them semblyman Rocky Chavez’ office spoke into illegal territory where they might at the CSUSM presentation, and urged not have ventured on their own. students to become more conversant with The number of ISIS supporters atthe role of Camp Pendleton in national tempting to go overseas has dropped defense. in recent months, authorities say. As The presentation ended on a hopeful the New York Times points out, that’s note as professor Glen Brodowsky said a worrying trend, as ISIS’ new message he expects the three years of research will to its supporters is to stay in place and open future dialogue on the possibilities. carry out attacks at home. XXX NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN t FEJUPSTEFTL!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

NORAD TRACKS SANTA: A 60-YEAR TRADITION

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OINT BASE MCGUIRE-DIXLAKEHURST, N.J. — In 1955, the Cold War was eight years old. Tensions between the United States and the Soviet Union were high. Joseph Stalin was dead, Nikita Khrushchev had taken his place, the Warsaw Pact had been created and the Continental Air Defense Command (CONAD) — NORAD’s (North American Aerospace Defense Command) forerunner — had been established with the mission of “defending the United States against air attack.� This was all part of President Dwight D. Eisenhower’s New Look Policy toward containing the Soviet threat. At the CONAD operations center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, there was a direct line phone to the center’s director of operations. Its purpose: To inform CONAD that United States was at war with the Soviet Union. In December 1955, the phone rang. Fortunately for Col. Harry Shoup, the director of operations, the United States had not gone to war with Russia. Instead of the president, it was a little girl in Colorado Springs. The child, who was following the directions in a Sears Roebuck

Col. Harry Shoup, the operations officer at NORAD on Dec. 24, 1955, answered a child’s wrong-number call and began the tradition of NORAD tracking Santa. Shoup died March 14, 2009, yet the tradition he started decades ago continues to bring holiday cheer to millions of children around the world.

& Co. advertisement printed in a local rect and be sure and dial the correct num- local department store it went directly to ber.� The number in the advertisement newspaper. The ad read: “Hey, Kiddies! Call me di- was one digit off and instead of getting the NORAD, continued on Page 17

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‘In the long term we can hope that religion will change the nature of man and reduce conflict. But history is not encouraging in this respect.’ Richard Nixon 37th U.S. President Served Jan. 20, 1969 – Aug. 9, 1974

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39th U.S. Vice President Served Jan. 20, 1969 – Oct. 19, 1973

World events

t Rolls-Royce goes bankrupt and is nationalized in Britain on Feb. 4. t The U.S., U.K., U.S.S.R. and others sign the Seabed Treaty on Feb. 11, outlawing nuclear weapons on the ocean floor. t Backed by American air and artillery support, South Vietnamese troops invade Laos on Feb. 13.

t Egypt, Libya and Syria sign an agreement April 17 to form a confederation. t The U.S. dollar floods the European currency markets May 5 and threatens especially the Deutsche Mark; the central banks of Austria, Belgium, Netherlands and Switzerland stop the currency trading. t The U.S. ends its trade embargo of China on June 10. t Australia and New Zealand decide to withdraw their troops from Vietnam on Aug. 18. t Greenpeace is founded in Vancouver, Canada on Oct. 14.

“The French Connection� debuts.

t President Richard M. Nixon sets February 1, 1972, as the deadline for the removal of another 45,000 American troops from Vietnam on Nov. 12.

U.S. News

t A ban on radio and television cigarette advertisements goes into effect Jan. 2 in the United States. t The landmark television sitcom “All in the Family,� starring Carroll O’Connor as Archie Bunker, debuts on CBS Jan. 12. t In Los Angeles, Charles Manson and three female “Family� members are found guilty Jan. 25 of the 1969 Tate–LaBianca murders. Manson would be sentenced to death April 9. t A new stock market index called the Nasdaq Composite debuts Feb. 8. t Evel Knievel sets a world record and jumps 19 cars Feb. 28 in Ontario, Calif.

“All in the Family� begin

t A bomb explodes March 1 in the men’s room at the United States Capitol; the Weather Underground claims responsibility. t Boxer Joe Frazier defeats Muhammad Ali at Madison Square Garden during the “Fight of the Century� on March 8. t Five hundred thousand people in Washington, D.C. and 125,000 in San Francisco march April 24 in protest against the Vietnam War. t Amtrak begins inter-city rail passenger service in the United States on May 1. t The New York Times begins to publish the Pentagon Papers on June 13. t President Nixon declares the U.S. War on Drugs on June 17. t The 26th Amendment to the United States Constitution, formally certified by President Nixon on July 5, lowers the voting age from 21 to 18. t The South Tower of the World Trade Center is topped out at 1,362 feet on July 19, making it the second tallest building in the world. t Apollo 15 astronauts David Scott and James Irwin become the first to ride in a lunar rover July 31, a day after landing on the Moon. t Construction begins on

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the Louisiana Superdome in New Orleans on Aug. 11. t President Nixon announces the end of the gold standard Aug. 15. t Walt Disney World opens Oct. 1 in Orlando, Florida.

Movies t t t t t t t t t t

“The French Connection� “A Clockwork Orange� “Fiddler on the Roof � “Harold and Maude� “Diamonds Are Forever� “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory� “The Last Picture Show� “Carnal Knowledge� “Shaft� “Escape From the Planet of the Apes�

BORN THIS YEAR: Christina Applegate, actress (Nov. 25). Above left: Mark Wahlber, rapper, actor (June 5); Elon Musk, engineer (June 28); Amy Poehler, actress (Sept. 16); Lance Armstrong, cyclist (Sept. 18).

t t t t

“She’s a Lady,� Tom Jones “Joy to the World,� Three Dog Night “It’s Too Late,� Carol King “Knock Three Times,� Tony Orlando & Dawn

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t “My Sweet Lord,� George Harrison t “Imagine,� John Lennon t “I Beg Your Pardon (I Never Promised You a Rose Garden),� Lynn Anderson t “Maggie May,� Rod Stewart t “Brown Sugar,� The Rolling Stones t “Theme from ‘Shaft,’� Isaac Hayes

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News Briefs Army cuts social security numbers from dog tags

Pamphlet 600-8-14 on Nov. 30, officials said. The switch is being done in an effort to reduce the use of Social Security numbers and curb identity theft, they said. “I think removing the social will help,� Klemowski said. “If you find a pair of lost ID tags you can pretty much do anything with that person’s identity because you now have their blood type, their religion, you have their social, and you have their name. The only thing missing is their birth date and you can usually get that by Googling a person.� The Defense Department in 2007 announced plans to move away from using Social Security numbers. The Pentagon in 2009 began removing the number from military ID cards. Social Security numbers, however, continue to be used throughout the Army and military, including in the Defense Eligibility and Enrollment system, or DEERS, to identify service members and their dependents. It appears that the Army is the only service thus far to make the dog tag change.

U.S. Army dog tags will no longer include soldiers’ Social Security numbers, the Army announced, ending a more than 40-year identification system. The tags will instead display the 10-digit Defense Department identification number currently included on Pentagon ID cards, and will be issued to soldiers on an as-needed basis, with those deploying getting priority, service officials said in a press release. “This change is not something where Soldiers need to run out and get new tags made,� Michael Klemowski, the soldiers programs branch chief at U.S. Army Hu- Bubble wrap puts Air man Resources Command, said in the release. “We are focusing first on the person- Force base on lockdown nel who are going to deploy. If a Soldier is going to deploy, they are the first ones that Kirtland Air Force Base, a hospital and need to have the new ID tags.� three schools in Albuquerque, New MexiThe change was first published in Army co, were locked down for almost an hour

Dec. 2 as authorities investigated reports that at least three gunshots were heard. The night of Dec. 3, it was disclosed that there were no gunshots. But there was bubble wrap — irresistibly poppable bubble wrap. The base lifted the lockdown with the bland explanation that “security forces could not substantiate the claims of gunfire.� Master Sgt. Phyllis Keith, a spokeswoman for the base, finally told NBC station KOB on Dec. 3 that the bangs came from someone who was popping “heavy duty� bubble wrap.

Navy’s largest destroyer heads for sea trials The largest destroyer ever built for the U.S. Navy headed out to sea for the first time Dec. 7, departing from shipbuilder Bath Iron Works and carefully navigating the winding Kennebec River before reaching the open ocean where the ship will undergo sea trials. More than 200 shipbuilders, sailors and residents gathered to watch as the futuristic 600-foot, 15,000-ton USS Zumwalt glided past Fort Popham, accompanied by tugboats. Kelley Campana, a Bath Iron Works employee, said she had goose bumps and tears in her eyes. “This is pretty exciting. It’s a great day to

be a shipbuilder and to be an American,� she said. “It’s the first in its class. There’s never been anything like it. It looks like the future.� Larry Harris, a retired Raytheon employee who worked on the ship, watched it depart from Bath. “It’s as cool as can be. It’s nice to see it underway,� he said. “Hopefully, it will perform as advertised.� Bath Iron Works will be testing the ship’s performance and making tweaks this winter. The goal is to deliver it to the Navy sometime next year. “We are absolutely fired up to see Zumwalt get underway. For the crew and all those involved in designing, building, and readying this fantastic ship, this is a huge milestone,� the ship’s skipper, Navy Capt. James Kirk, said before the ship departed. The ship has electric propulsion, new radar and sonar, powerful missiles and guns, and a stealthy design to reduce its radar signature. Advanced automation will allow the warship to operate with a much smaller crew size than current destroyers. All of that innovation has led to construction delays and a growing price tag. The Zumwalt, the first of three ships in the class, will cost at least $4.4 billion. The ship looks like nothing ever built at Bath Iron Works. The inverse bow juts forward to slice

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through the waves. Sharp angles deflect enemy radar signals. Radar and antennas are hidden in a composite deckhouse. The builder sea trials will answer any questions of seaworthiness for a ship that utilizes a type of hull associated with predreadnought battleships from a century ago. Critics say the “tumblehome� hull’s sloping shape makes it less stable than conventional hulls, but it contributes to the ship’s stealth and the Navy is confident in the design. Eric Wertheim, author and editor of the U.S. Naval Institute’s “Guide to Combat Fleets of the World,� said there’s no question the integration of so many new systems from the electric drive to the tumblehome hull carries some level of risk. Operational concerns, growing costs and fleet makeup led the Navy to truncate the 32-ship program to three ships, he said. With only three ships, the class of destroyers could become something of a technology demonstration project, he said.

to one knee and holding hands in a public pre-game prayer circle. The academy issued a statement saying it is investigating the practice after cadets and faculty brought it to the attention of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, a watchdog group. “The United States Air Force Academy is attentive to all religious freedom concerns, and we are conducting an inquiry into the complaint,� a statement from the

school said. “The Air Force is dedicated to maintaining an environment in which people can realize their highest potential, regardless of personal religious or other beliefs.� The academy did not say how long the Falcons have been offering the team prayer. One photo on a Defense Department website shows the team at prayer before the start of the second half of a 2013 game.

Mikey Weinstein, president and founder of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, said the Falcons’ public prayer ritual falls afoul of the establishment clause by creating the appearance that the academy shows a preference for a particular organized religion. Cadets and faculty who have contacted him said some players take part in the prayer circle to avoid conflict with other teammates or out of fear of retaliation.

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CHRISTMAS MOVIES Continued from Page 7

ents leave him alone at home for Christmas vacation? Why, he binges on junk food, watches violent movies and uses his wits and know-how to fend off two incompetent crooks who’ve been casing his parent’s posh Chicago home. The film’s violence is juvenile and slightly overblown — that staircase scene with the tarantula sure is icky. Again, there’s something comforting about that ending, even if you can’t help but marvel at how cheesy it is. Then again, is cheese necessarily a bad thing for a Christmas movie?

‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ (1946)

A universally recognized Christmas classic, “It’s A Wonderful Life� had to battle hard to get to that status: it flopped at first and was even denounced by the FBI as being sympathetic to Communists, but became a beloved perennial via TV broadcasts in the 1970s (“it’s the damndest thing I’ve ever seen,� director Frank Capra told the Wall Street Journal in 1984. “I’m like a parent whose kid grows up to be president. I’m proud... but it’s the kid who did the work�). It’s perhaps not surprising, given that the film’s so much darker and stranger than many remember. The film sees the suicidal George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) shown how life would have been without him by his guardian angel Clarence. It’s less concerned with holiday trappings than many of the films on this list, but the Christmas setting feels utterly appropriate, both for the echoes of Charles Dickens and for its spirit of the power of family and community. It’s positively novelistic in its portrait of ordinary American life in the first half, but then pulls a powerful trick in showing the impact one individual has on his people in his life.

Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas� didn’t debut in the movie it gave its name too, but a decade earlier in “Holiday Inn.�

been tackled more effectively than with “Miracle On 34th Street,� George Seaton’s heart-swellingly sweet tale based on a story by Valentine Davies. Set in an initially rather more cynical take on post-war New York than commonly employed (it’s almost striking to see an overly-commercialized festive period in a movie nearly 70 years old), the film sees the elderly Kris Kringle (Edmund Gwenn) taking over the role of Macy’s Santa, winning hearts with his selfless, loving persona. Yet he’s also being accused of being mentally unsound by those suspicious of his goodness. In the end, it has to come down to the young Susan (Natalie Wood in her breakthrough role) to save the day and convince her weary mother (Maureen O’Hara) of the spirit of Christmas. It’s a shameless heart-twanger in the spirit of Capra, though with a rather more scabrous wit in places, but as in the film’s universe, even the most hard-hearted cynic (or Academy ‘Miracle On 34th Street’ (1947) The existence (or not?) of Santa Claus/ member: the film was nominated for mulFather Christmas is at the heart of all tiple Oscars and won for the screenplay kinds of Christmas movies, but it’s rarely and Gwenn’s performance) will surely be

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worn down by the time countless bags of the former is usually more successful mail are dumped in the courtroom where the unconventional casting of New York Santa is on trial. Dolls’ David Johansen as the cab-driverish Ghost Of Christmas Past works like gangbusters, for instance. But for every ‘Scrooged’ (1988) You must imagine that “Scrooged� was roll of the dice that pays off, there’s angreenlit on one of the shortest pitches in other that doesn’t, like the idea of turning history: “Bill Murray does ‘A Christmas Bob Cratchit (Bobcat Goldthwait) into a Carol.’� Sold! Charles Dickens’ classic and potential mass shooter. And at this point, its grouchy lead were seemingly made for filmmakers hadn’t yet worked out how to the comedy legend, and a big-budget, use Murray for heart as well as laughs effects-packed take in the manner of his unlike in “Groundhog Day� a few years biggest hit “Ghostbusters� seemed to be later, his redemption doesn’t convince. a licence to print money. The film was But the actor holds things together so poorly received, though fairly success- well that, despite the flaws, you have a ful, and that seems to be a fair response very good time anyway. to a film that’s wildly uneven, containing fits of inspiration and the occasion- ‘White Christmas’ (1954) ally embarrassing moment. Updating the Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas� is one original story to present-day New York, of the absolute best-known holiday songs, with Murray’s Scrooge-surrogate TV pro- but as any good trivia quiz will tell you, ducer being escorted through past, pres- the song didn’t premiere in the movie that ent and future by a trio of ghosts, you feel it gave its name to, but in “Holiday Inn� the tension between Murray’s anarchic a decade earlier. Nevertheless, the latter persona and the idea of a big-budget barely qualifies as a Christmas movie, reChristmas heartwarmer throughout, and volving around all kinds of different holidays, so its later successor makes the list in its place. Michael Curtiz’s film is thinly plotted even by the standards of the genre, as Broadway producers Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye (who took the role after Fred Astaire and Donald O’Connor passed) try and help their old army commanding officer to save his Vermont inn, threatened with closure due to lack of snow, while falling for a pair of singers (Vera-Ellen and Rosemary Clooney). But while it does feel disposable, it’s also very charming, with not just the big title number, but also songs like “Sisters,� “Count Your Blessings (Instead Of Sheep)� and “The Best Things Happen When You’re Dancing� working delightfully, and an exuberantly goodspirited nature to the whole thing. While the central pairings don’t have the star power of, say, “High Society,� everyone’s in fine fettle, and the film looks utterly gorgeous too: it was the first movie released in VistaVision, Paramount’s answer to CinemaScope, and an early predecessor to IMAX in using large film formats to boost cinema attendance thanks to the threat of television. Everything old is new again... XXX NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN t FEJUPSTEFTL!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

! Veteran swims length of < Mississippi to honor fallen ! At the southernmost finger of Louisiana, where the Mississippi River mingles with the Gulf of Mexico, Chris Ring finally caught his breath. The 28-year-old U.S. Navy combat veteran had been swimming--and swimming. He had started June 6 at Itasca State Park, splashing down the Mississippi in a 2,552-mile paddle honoring families who have lost loved ones to war. “Those families paid a huge sacrifice,� Ring said June 9 when he visited Neilson Place in Bemidji. “We have the duty to honor those families and the ones that have fallen for us.� His swim started on D-Day and was scheduled to end on Veterans Day. Fatigue and a shoulder injury slowed his pace. He averaged about seven hours in the water per day, swimming about 14 miles. In the evenings, he dripped out of the river and spent nights in towns and cities along the banks, meeting some of the families for whom he swam. Ring represents Legacies Alive, a nonprofit seeking awareness for America’s “Gold Star� families. His swim is part of the Legacies “challenge� program, in which people attempt to raise awareness through extreme journeys. According to the Legacies Alive Face-

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Navy had two interceptions — one off a trick play — on two straight drives to preserve the lead. Army’s Hail Mary on the final play of the game fell short. “That’s our job at West Point, to build those warriors,� Monken said. “I’m absolutely positive we’ve got a room full of guys in there that are going to find a way to win.� Niumatalolo, the winningest coach in Navy history, seemed focused with “Damn The Torpedoes� stenciled on the back of his hat. But he had much more on his mind than just dominating Army again. He could leave after eight seasons to follow his heart and religion to BYU. “We’re an institution, and we’re certainly a football program, that’s steeped in team and not about ‘me.’ All of a sudden, it’s become about that,� Navy athletic director 16 %FD

Chet Gladchuk said before the game. Niumatalolo danced — he at least tried to dab — in the locker room as players circled him and hollered in celebration. He choked back tears discussing his faith-based decision to visit BYU. Niumatalolo is a Mormon who went on a two-year mission after his freshman year at Hawaii. “It’s been my life,� at Navy, he said. “My kids have grown up here. I’ve given everything for his program.� Niumatalolo tied former Army coach Earl “Red� Blaik (8-8-2) for most wins in the series. Reynolds put the spotlight back on the game and showed why he was a late contender for Heisman Trophy consideration. Reynolds, the only player in team history with two 1,000-yard rushing and passing seasons, put the Mids up 21-17 with a 50-yard touchdown pass to Jamir Tillman late in the third quarter. A three-touchdown favorite, Navy had it

tougher than usual in one of the most sto- one team of any uninterrupted FBS series. The Black Knights got a field goal on the ried rivalries in college sports. The Mids won the CIC trophy, awarded to the team game’s opening drive, and Tyler Campbell with the best record in games among the scored on a 29-yard run to make it 10-7 in three service academies. Navy beat Air the first. Carter hit Edgar Poe for a 39-yard Force 33-11 this season. Army and Navy turned a game already touchdown pass with 2:08 left in the half stuffed with pomp and patriotism into a to make it 17-14 and give Army its first halftime lead since 2009. bit of a fashion show. Army just didn’t have Reynolds. Navy wore seven different hand-painted Reynolds scored on runs of 58 yards and helmets that paid homage to seven of the 1 yard to keep Navy in the game and then ships that make up the U.S. Naval Fleet. Army topped its rival with 17 helmets, used his arm to find Tillman in the third to representing the 17 branches cadets can take the lead for good. He has a 31-13 career record as a starter enter after graduation. Billed as “America’s Game,� the Linc and is Navy’s career leading rusher. Hoist was stuffed with cadets and midshipmen that broom to the mast: Reynolds is the standing, bouncing and cheering the en- first quarterback to go 4-for-4 in a classic tire game. U.S. Defense Secretary Ash rivalry that began in 1890. Army’s season again ended with this Carter attended and watched a half with game. Navy plays Pittsburgh (8-4) in the each side. Army came ready to pull an upset and Dec. 28 Military Bowl in Annapolis. Navy leads the series 60-49-7. snap the second-longest losing streak to XXX NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN t FEJUPSTEFTL!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

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FOOTBALL

NORAD

Continued from Page 3

Continued from Page 9

American that was, and we continue to CONAD. fight the evils of racism and homophobia The child asked Shoup if he was Santa in building what Ronald Reagan called Claus. Shoup paused, but he recovered this City on the Hill. and replied, “Yes, I am.� If we do not give in to the forces of darkMore calls started coming in. Shoup ness, no one, no group of erstwhile terror- eventually had his Airmen take over tellists, no nation of evil can stand in front of ing them to that they now had an addia united America. tional duty: Whoever answered the phone If we do give in, then we are not worthy was Santa Claus. of survival. Sixty years later, the tradition continues. The bright faces of the cadets and midBeginning Dec. 1, visitors can visit www. shipmen of West Point and Annapolis re- noradsanta.org. The website features a minded me of that yet again. mobile version, a holiday countdown, new I thought I was watching a football games, daily activities and is available in game; it was America I was watching. eight languages: English, Spanish, GerThank you ladies and gentlemen for man, French, Italian, Chinese, Japanese helping to restore my faith in the essential and Portuguese. goodness of the American people. Official NORAD Tracks Santa apps My country ’tis of thee, sweet land of are available in the Windows, Apple and liberty ... Google Play stores, so parents and chil'PS BEWFSUJTJOH JOGPSNBUJPO DBMM t BEWFSUJTJOH!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

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7676 Hazard Center Drive call 620 S. Melrose, Suite 101, 92108 ¡ 619-800-4449 24/7 92081 ¡ 760-201-9839 fered on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Google. Santa followers can go to any of these sites and search for “@noradsantaâ€? to get started. On Dec. 24, the website will be on duty as Santa Claus makes his way around the world. Starting at 12:01 a.m. MST on Dec. 24 — 11:01 p.m. Dec. 23 PST, website visitors can watch Santa make preparations for his flight. NORAD’s “Santa Camsâ€? will stream videos as Santa makes his way around the world delivering presents. At 4 a.m. Mountain Standard Time — 3 a.m. Pacific Standard Time, trackers worldwide can speak with a live phone operator to inquire as to Santa’s whereabouts by dialing the toll-free number 1-877-HiNORAD (1-877-446-6723) or by sending an email to noradtrackssanta@outlook. dren can countdown the days until Santa’s com. Now the most important part is making launch on their smart phones and tablets. Tracking opportunities are also of- sure you are on Santa’s “Niceâ€? list. %FD 17

Just for

Laughs Under the mistletoe

mistletoe. With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, I said to the attendant, “Even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe.� “Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is,� she said. “OK, I see that it’s above the luggage scale, which is the place you’d have to step forward for a kiss.� “That’s not why it’s there,� she replied. “It’s there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye.�

Santa’s helpers...

You never actually see Santa, only his “assistants.� Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire. Santa doesn’t really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers to do all his work for him, but he’s the one who everybody credits with the work. Santa doesn’t work anywhere near a 40 hour week. Santa travels a lot. Yup, Santa works for the government!

It was slightly before Thanksgiving. The trip went reasonably well, and I was ready to go back. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, I was not in a particularly good mood. Going to check in my luggage (which, for Snow plow some reason, had become one suitcase A blonde driving a car became lost in a with entirely new clothes), I saw hanging snowstorm. She didn’t panic however, be-

cause she remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it.� Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow

came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?�

Southern Nativity

18 %FD

In a small Southern town there was a Nativity Scene that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quick Stop� on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, “You Yankees never do read the Bible!� I assured her that I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said, “See, it says right here, ‘The three wise man came from AFIRE.’� XXX NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN t FEJUPSTEFTL!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

Christmas morning

On Christmas morning, a police on horseback had stop for a while. A kid was beside him and the police said “Did Santa give you that bicycle.� The kid said yes. Then the police man said “Next time tell Santa to put a taillight on it.� He gave the kid a ticket fined $20. Before the police left, the kid asked “Did Santa give you the horse?� The police, joking, said yes. Then the kid said “Next time, tell Santa to put the ass on the back of the horse, not on top.�

“No problem,� I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate. “You can’t do that!� argued my 4-yearold. “Don’t worry,� I said. “Santa will never know.� He shot me a look, “So, he knows if you’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know the cookie fell on the floor?�

Gift of the Magi?

Last Christmas, I told my girlfriend that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of the list: Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our Dads and toys While I was working as a store Santa, a first date. That’s OK, because I got her an Xbox. boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,� I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is Honest questions that all right?� Two kids are on their way to Sunday The boy became very quiet. school when one says to the other, “What So, moving the conversation along, I do you think about this Satan stuff?� asked, “What else would you like Santa to “Well, you remember Santa?� the kid rebring you?� plies. “This could turn out to be your dad, He promptly replied, “Another train.� too!�

Little Johnny’s gift exchange

Early Christmas shopping

Little Johnny’s teacher prompted the It was Christmas and a judge was in a class to fill in the blank: “At Christmas, we merry mood. He asked a prisoner standexchange gifts with ____.� ing before him, “What are you charged He raised his hand and said, “Receipts!� with?� “Doing my Christmas shopping early�, replied the defendant. Cookies for Santa “That’s no offense�, said the judge. “How As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally early were you doing this shopping?� “Before the store opened.� dropped one.

CHRISTMAS Continued from Page 1

porting suspicious activity at our Muslim neighbors’ townhouse on the chance we might be called racist. It’s even more regretful that we so easily begin to allude to Christmas in euphemism, like the jailbird uncle the family doesn’t talk about — just so we don’t offend the ultra-sensitive, politically correct nincompoops. Christmas Parades are now “Holiday Parades� — with Santa bringing up the rear, of course. It’s not a Christmas tree, it’s a “Holiday Tree� — because we put lights and candy canes on a douglas fir for Boxing Day, right? Street signs and retail marketing wish us “Happy Holidays� — adorned with Poinsettias, trees and wrapped gifts, presumably to open when the clock strikes midnight on Dec. 31. I am not offended when my Jewish friends wish me “Happy Hanukkah.� And frankly, I doubt you’re really offended when I wish you a “Merry Christmas.� You want to be offended. You look for things to offend you. And the rest of us acquiesce to your infantile disposition. Well, throw some more rum in your eggnog and get over yourself. And whoever’s making the rules on political correctness needs to be taken out

“

and beaten with a wet reindeer strap — preferably while wearing a Santa hat and being serenaded by carolers singing “Silent Night.� Why are we so afraid of offending others for celebrating the birth of Christ? The vast majority of this country shouldn’t be held captive to some semantic fascism because a small minority of the 20 percent that doesn’t use the c-word is offended by it. “Separation of church and state,� cry the multicultural weenies. But don’t include

Throw some more rum in your eggnog and get over yourself.

�

Christmas shopping and the company Christmas party as the “state.� And don’t sit all high and mighty while you embrace the minor Jewish holiday of Hanukkah and the made-up Kwanzaa and can’t utter that c-word. “Cooperative economics� doesn’t beat out “peace on earth, good will toward men.� The only way to stop this nonsense is to use the c-word freely. Go ahead, try it. Throw it out there willy-nilly — no one’s really offended. Besides, that’s the “holiday� we’re all talking about. We shouldn’t shy away from it, and we shouldn’t let society shy away from it either.

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4. Against 5. Clairvoyants 6. Former boxing champ 7. Noggin 8. S. American country 9. Tuft 10. Mating of related people 11. Elder 12. Chose DOWN 13. Scallions 1. An indefinite period 18. Record (abbrev.) 2. Chalcedony 3. Sharp intake of breath 24. Copy

20 %FD

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SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.

This week’s solutions:

DISTRIBUTION %JTUSJCVUFE PO UIF TU BOE UI PG FBDI NPOUI "WBJMBCMF BCPBSE BMM 4BO %JFHP $PVOUZ NJMJUBSZ CBTFT POCPBSE JO QPSU TIJQT BU QBSUJDJQBUJOH "MCFSUTPOT 3BMQIT BOE $74 1IBSNBDJFT 'PS NPSF MPDBUJPOT WJTJU XXX NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN EJTUSJCVUJPO

The Military Press Newsmagazine is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Newspaper, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materials appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Appearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press Newspaper. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscription by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses.

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