For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 1
Use your Field Experience and be a Licensed Vocational Nurse* today at WCUI
Information regarding our programs required by the United States Department of Education Gainful Employment Act can be found at http://www.wcui.edu/page/consumer-information We approve for Veterans Benefits for the following Chapters: 30, 31, 33, 35 &1606. 2 February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
remember when...
0 9 9 1 Quotes from football’s great coaches See page 9 for details
Happy Valentine’s Day Publisher: Richard T. Matz Customer Service Manager: Carol Williams Advertising Manager: Valerie Swaine Account Representative: Michelle Hull Public Relations: Lisa Matz Production / Web: Sandra Powers, Joe Yang Distribution: Dennis Wink Contributing Writers: Doug Aguillard, Mort Fertel, Art Garcia, Howard Hian, Keith Angelin, Jeri Jacquin (The Movie Maven), Heather E. Siegel Carlos Kremer Contact Us: 430 N. Cedar, Escondido, CA 92025 Tel 858.537.2280 www.militarypress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
DISTRIBUTION
Distributed on the 1st and 15th of each month. Available aboard all San Diego County military bases, onboard inport ships, at participating Albertsons, Ralphs and CVS Pharmacies. For more locations, visit www.militarypress.com/distribution The Military Press Newsmagazine is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Newspaper, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materials appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Appearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press Newspaper. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscription by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses.
AMERICAN
sniper What do Veterans Say About the Movie?
While political debate over American Sniper grows, U.S. veterans are finding the space they need to talk about their own war stories. By Samantha Laine Staff Writer
10 years of service. His 2012 memoir, also titled “American Sniper,” bluntly illustrates the realities of war and the trauma experienced by many vets. Why has the movie sparked so much debate? Critics say the movie unashamedly glorifies war while also showing the deep disconnect between civilians and the military. Matt Taibbi of Rolling Stone described the antagonist as a “killing machine with a heart of gold,” and questioned the accuracy of the simplified depiction of the Iraq war. The really dangerous part of this film is that it turns into a referendum on the character of a single soldier. It’s an unwinnable argument in either direction. We end up talking about Chris Kyle
Christian Science Monitor
Since the film opened earlier this month, “American Sniper” has stirred up passionate responses from critics and supporters alike. What began as a surprise box-office hit, raking in $105 million its opening weekend, is now a flashpoint for conservative and liberal views of the Iraq war. The movie follows the life of Chris Kyle – one of the deadliest snipers and a U.S. Navy SEAL – and his deployment on four tours to Iraq. During this time, he was credited with 160 kills before he was honorably discharged in 2009 after CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE
For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 3
Variety.com reported that Jason Hall, the film’s screenwriter, has received over 250 Facebook friend requests from several generations of veterans and their families. According to Hall, some of the veterans felt trapped with their own experiences of war, and watching the film is what enabled them to finally begin those difficult conversations.
AMERICAN SNIPER Cont’d. from Page 3
and his dilemmas, and not about the Rumsfelds and Cheneys and other officials up the chain who put Kyle and his high-powered rifle on rooftops in Iraq and asked him to shoot women and children.
After the film debuted, filmmaker Michael Moore aired his grievances with any sniper on Twitter, sparking even more controversy: “My uncle killed by sniper in WW2. We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren’t heroes. And invaders r worse.” But perhaps the voices who can
JEWELRY
4 February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
shed the most light on this movie are those who have been on the battle field themselves. Many combat veterans have seen the movie, and while they agree or disagree with the portrayal to varying degrees, many argue that the film successfully accomplishes one goal: Giving vets an arena to talk about their own war experiences. Former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin spoke to People Magazine about her friendship with the real life Chris Kyle, and the impact he had on her son Track, who was deployed to Iraq in 2008. “[My son Track] has met enough ‘celebrities’ to not be star struck, so when he said the most impressive opportunity [he’s] had over all these years was meeting Chris Kyle – and he’s ‘the one’ Track really wanted to meet – that said it all,” Ms. Palin told People Magazine. “The only poster on his wall was Chris Kyle, even before Chris’ horrific murder. And my son has the bumper sticker on his refrigerator, reading: ‘God bless our troops. Especially our snipers.’ He knows who deserves America’s respect.” Variety.com reported that Jason Hall, the film’s screenwriter, has received over 250 Facebook friend requests from several generations of veterans and their families. According to Hall, some of the veterans felt trapped with their own experiences of war, and watching the film is what enabled them to finally begin those difficult conversations.
“It’s like ‘goal accomplished,’ in my mind,” Hall said, reported Variety.com. “People are talking about this. They are talking about this war. They are talking about these soldiers and who these guys really are. And the soldiers are talking about their experiences, sometimes for the first time.” Colby Buzzell, a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom, published a piece on TheGuardian.com after its criticism compelled him to see the film – in spite of being advised by a mental health physician that veterans should not watch war movies. One of the criticisms of the film is the unvarnished violence, but Mr. Buzzell finds it difficult to understand how war is to be portrayed if not with violence. “Kyle was a Navy SEAL – he didn’t enlist in the Peace Corps. What else do civilians think that combat soldiers to do?” Buzzell said in the article. “He followed the rules of engagement and, if anything, was a pretty squared away soldier – one I’d be honored to serve along side – and, if people think that the real Kyle was a monster for doing the job that our country sent him to do, then that must mean that they think I’m a monster as well.” The difficulty is that war is more complex than any Hollywood film. Adrian Bonenberger, who was deployed twice to Afghanistan as an infantry officer, felt he was in the minority of veterans who was not impressed by the film. However, he said that while the film may not reflect the complexity of war, it is necessary for civilians to see war depicted, face its brutal reality, and honestly confront how the country handles its actions overseas. “This awareness is urgently needed, much more so than any selfish personal desire for entertainment or enlightenment,” Mr. Bonenberger wrote in The Concourse. “If this film inspires conversations about cultural imperialism – and how simplistic and reductive philosophy, combined with exposure to violence and moral injury, can twist and distort a decent human being – so be it. Everyone should see this movie. But you shouldn’t necessarily believe it.” www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
Will Chris Kyle’s family have to pay Jesse Ventura $1.3 million? By Jacquenline Andriakos People.com Former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura insisted the family of Chris Kyle “hasn’t suffered one dime of monetary loss” due to his defamation suit win against the late Navy SEAL. But Ventura may have spoken too soon. On an episode of his podcast ‘We the People with Jesse Ventura,’ Ventura explained there were still many “misconceptions” about his recent lawsuit. Ventura claimed Kyle falsely accused him of saying he hates America and that the SEALs “deserve to lose a few” in the war. Ventura was awarded $1.8 million in damages: $500,000 for defamation and $1.3 million for unjust enrichment. “The jury gave me what they felt I was damaged. The majority of that money is going to my attorney. Again, this will cost the Kyle family nothing for the lie that was written about me,” Ventura said in the podcast. Ventura also said Kyle’s widow Taya had her expenses “paid entirely from a giant insurance company.” But Ed Huddleston, a lawyer for the Kyle estate, says this is a premature assumption. “It is not true that the insurance company is currently agreeable to cover the entire judgment. At present, the insurance company’s position is that it would only cover $500,000 of the judgment if the judgment becomes final. That position leaves the Estate at risk for the remaining $1.3 million if the judgment becomes final,” Huddleston says in a statement to PEOPLE. Huddleston adds that the publisher and insurer have been supportive of Taya and her family. “Both HarperCollins and the insurance company have gone the extra mile to ease the emotional trauma to Chris’s widow and her young children,” he says. The legal team plans to appeal the case. But a representative for Ventura tells PEOPLE, “If the Estate has a dispute with its insurance company over
the scope of coverage, no one in the Ventura camp is privy to those details. All we know is what the policy says, and it is written broadly enough to cover all of the damages awarded.” In January 2012, Ventura filed the defamation lawsuit against Kyle after claims in Kyle’s 2012 bestselling memoir stated that a person identified as “Scruff Face” had spoken out against the war in Iraq and against Navy SEALS. Kyle then identified “Scruff Face” as Ventura in radio and television interviews following the book release. After Kyle was killed in 2013 – allegedly murdered on a gun range by a troubled ex-Marine he was trying to help – Ventura substituted Kyle’s widow (and executor of her late husband’s estate) Taya as the defendant. “I refused to settle because to me it wasn’t about money, it was about the truth,” Ventura said on his show. To see the clip, visit www.people. com/article/jesse-ventura-chris-kylelawsuit-american-sniper.
military press newspaper
For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 5
George H.W. Bush 41st President of the U.S. Served from Jan. 20, 1989 to Jan. 20, 1993
“We know what works. Freedom Works. We know what’s right. Freedom is right.” – George H.W. Bush
Dan Quayle 44th Vice President of the U.S. Served from Jan. 20, 1989 to Jan. 20, 1993
World events
• Saddam Hussein orders Iraq invasion of neighboring Kuwait • Operation Desert Shield begins as the U.S. and the UK send troops to Kuwait • Earthquake in Iran kills 50,000 • Nelson Mandella is released from prison in South Africa after 28 years • Margaret Thatcher announces her resignation as British PM after John Major is chosen to lead the country and conservative party • Opposition parties in South Africa are legalized and Nelson Mandella becomes leader of the African National Congress (ANC) • The Leaning Tower of Pisa is closed to the public due to safety concerns of it falling over
U.S. news
• GM launches the Saturn model cars • The most complete skeleton of a T-Rex, named Sue, is found in South Dakota • America’s favorite animated family, “The Simpsons,” is aired on Fox for the first time • U.S. enters a major recession • A fire at an unlicensed social club called “Happy Land” in NYC kills 87 • President George Bush and Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev sign a historic agree- ment to end production of chemical weapons
Technology
• Space Shuttle Discovery places the Hubble Telescope in orbit, revolutionizing astronomy • Tim Berners-Lee publishes a more formal proposal for the World Wide
6 February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
Web and the first web page is written • Microsoft releases Windows 3.0 • Space Probe Voyager, launched in 1977, photographed the solar system at a distance of 3.7 miles from the sun • 18 years after its launch, space probe Pioneer reaches a distance of 46.5 billion mikes beyond all planetary orbits • Depletion of the ozone layer is discovered above North Pole • First in-car One of the largest and most well-preserved Tyransatellite navigation sysnosaurus Rex fossilized skeletons is found by paleontologist tem is sold by Pioneer
Info & timeline for
Sue the T. Rex
Popular films
• Home Alone • Ghost • Pretty Woman • Mutant Ninja Turtles • Total Recall • Die Hard 2 • Edward Scissorhands
Sue Hendrickson near Faith, South Dakota in August of 1990. The skeleton was named “Sue” after the person who discovered it. “Sue” was over 90 percent complete and measured about thirteen feet all and forty feet long. A team of six uncovered the skeleton over about seventeen days to remove “Sue” from the bluff where she was discovered. Chicago’s Field Museum eventually purchased the specimen for over 8 million dollars and spent tens of thousands of hours preserving and assembling one of the most important dinosaur discoveries to ever be seen.
1990 Chevrolet Camarowww.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
remember when...
1990 Ferrari F40
0 9 19 AVERAGE COST OF LIVING
BORN THIS YEAR: Jennifer Lawrence, actress. Above left: Liam Hemsworth, actor; Emma Watson, actress; Robert Griffin III, athlete; Kristen Stewart, actress.
• Income per year ..... $29,960 • Minimum wage ............ $3.80 • New house .......... $150,000 • Monthly rent .................. $465 • New car .................. $12,500 • Gallon of gas ................ $1.34 • Dozen eggs .................. $1.00 • Gallon of milk ............... $2.78 • Loaf of bread ................... 70¢ • First-class stamp ............ 25¢ • Movie ticket .................. $4.25 Music
TV shows
• Twin Peaks • Law & Order • Beverly Hills, 90210 • The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air • The Flash
1990 Chevrolet Corvette For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
• “Hold On,” Wilson Phillips • “It Must Have Been Love,” Roxette • “Nothing Compares 2 U,” Sinead O’Connor • “Poison,” Bell Biv Devoe • “Vogue,” Madonna • “Vision of Love,” Mariah Carey • “Another Day in Paradise,” Phil Collins • “Hold On,” En Vogue • “Cradle of Love,” Billy Idol • “Blaze of Glory,” Jon Bon Jovi
February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 7
Why ‘American Sniper’ is for military wives By Rebekah Sanderlin
I’ve seen most of them – “American Sniper” touches on what war was like for Taya Kyle, Chris Kyle’s wife. It tells what war is like for all the wives. I do mean wives. I say ‘wives’ and not ‘spouses’ intentionally, though I’ve been conditioned to correct myself on this, because most, if not all, of the spouses of military operators are women. That this is the first movie to humanize the wives of warriors – to make us out to be more than ribbon-festooned cheerleaders – is almost offensive. It is, or should be, obvious to everyone that combat exposure is not the sum total of a warrior, and that war does not only affect the warrior.
When the husband of one of my close friends was killed in Iraq, she slipped an E.E. Cummings poem into his casket before he was buried at Arlington. That poem ran through my mind, in verses and lines, like a skipping CD, the whole time I watched “American Sniper” in the theater this past weekend. the boys i mean are not refined they go with girls who buck and bite I’ve read many commentaries about this movie in the past week, most of them heralding it for telling the wife and family side of war. It’s true. More than any war movie I’ve seen – and loving a man who lives at the ‘tip of the spear’ means that
But – and I think Taya Kyle would agree with me on this – to say that the movie tells the whole family story would be like saying that ping pong at the Rec Center tells you all you need to know about Wimbledon. There is no way a movie can truly show the family side of war, but at least this one tried.
These are the people we sacrifice to save.
My husband and I watched the movie together, sitting in a packed theater in a town that has few veterans and even fewer – if any – operators. I glanced around at our fellow movie goers, many overweight, most missing the inside jokes sprinkled throughout the film. I smiled to myself, proud of my husband, knowing that none of the
We need three people, one each from:
March AFB MCB 29 Palms Edwards AFB If you are interested in making a little extra money for just a little bit of work, call Military Press Newspaper
800-369-9606
8 February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
others in the theater knew that the guy in the third row had lived through encounters exactly like the ones on the screen; knowing that these are the people we sacrifice to save. A couple sitting behind us brought their children, who looked to be about two and four years old. My husband and I — parents of young children ourselves — were disgusted with that couple. Only someone who has no concept of how awful war can really be would choose to force visions of it onto the innocent. Their innocent. Our own children were one block away, at a drop in childcare center. Playing. Laughing. Being kids. He goes away to war, and I make do without him, so that our kids won’t have to see it here.
We signed on for this war together.
We signed on for this war together. He, to fight it. Me, to hold his life together so that he can leave. He, to keep the bad guys ‘over there.’ Me, to give him a life to come home to. He, to place himself directly in front of the worst the world has to offer. Me, to be the place where he can go to rest. It takes a special kind of man to volunteer to run toward the ugliest of fights. It takes a special kind of woman to let him. In the movie, when Chris and Taya first meet, she tells him that she would never date a SEAL. When my husband and I first met and he told me he was in the Army, I told him, “So long as you aren’t one of those psycho killers.” We laugh about that now. the boys i mean are not refined they cannot chat of that and this they do not give a fart for art they kill like you would take a piss
band, laughing. The watch was an excellent, accurate, detail that was probably lost on most of the movie goers. “Maybe,” he replied. “But I bet she won’t bitch about it.” I shuddered both times in the movie when Taya was on a satellite phone call with Chris and combat erupted around him, turning war into a conference call. I have been on that call.
The movie didn’t show what came next
I wished it would have. The throwing up, reflexively, again and again, out of pure fear. The dry heaves, streams of snot, and the feeling of your own body temperature dropping as you curl into a fetal position and stay like that for hours. The movie didn’t show how you must use every ounce of energy just to exist through the two days of wondering if you’re a widow yet, and then relaxing a bit on the third day because the casualty notification team has not come. If he were dead, they would have been here by now. That friend who put the poem in her husband’s casket, she and I used to talk about casualties a lot. In one of our conversations she said, “You’re strong. When it happens, you’ll be okay. It will make you sad, but it won’t destroy you.”
“When,” not “if”
She corrected herself immediately, but it had already been said. It felt like a “when” to me in those days. I attended so many memorial services for friends then. It seemed like there was at least one every month. It seems like those days are behind us now. Like we are the lucky ones. The ones who got away. But I’m sure it felt like that to Taya Kyle, too. “American Sniper” is a excellent film, deserving of all the praise it is receiving. It has started a long overdue conversation, about warriors, and family, and life after war. About PTSD and what it really means. About the nature of people who will give absolutely everything they have – their arms, their legs, their minds, their years, their families, their memories, their lives – for something bigger than themselves. For their friends. For their country. For their childrens’ futures.
I got my college minor in studio art. I can chat expertly about “that and this.” I was a Journalism major and well into a career as a newspaper reporter when I met my soldier. I harbored no visions of deployments or camouflage back then. I did not want to be a warrior’s wife. I never imagined that my vacuum cleaner would break because it sucked up a brass shell casing or that my dryer’s lint screen would be dotted with orange foam ear plugs. the boys i mean are not refined I did not know that I would come they shake the mountains to find the smell of Army – dirt, sweat when they dance and metal – sexy. That the sound of ripRebekah Sanderlin is an Army wife, a ping velcro would become a turn-on. It mother of three and a professional writer. had never before occurred to me that She writes the Must Have Parent column I could love someone whose job might for Military.com. Her work has been involve killing. Killing people. published nationwide including in The In an early scene, Taya and Chris Washington Post, The New York Times, Kyle lie together in bed, her hair long National Public Radio, CNN, and in Self and dark like mine, fanned out across and Maxim magazines. She currently her pillow as his arm is slung across her serves on the advisory boards of the Milibody, his wrist near her face. tary Family Advisory Network and Blue “I wonder if her hair will get caught Star Families. in his G-Shock?” I whispered to my huswww.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
Words of wisdom from FB coaches “ The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.” — Knute Rockne Knute Rockne — Notre Dame
1. “It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it! 2.”Show me a good and gracious loser, and I’ll show you a failure.” 3. “I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.”
Bear Bryant — Alabama
1. “If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold , you gotta know the password, “Roll, tide, roll!” 2. “I make my practices real hard — because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.”
Wally Butts — Georgia
“In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.”
Darrell Royal — Texas
1. “Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad.” 2. “They cut us up like boarding house pie, and that’s real small pieces.” 3. “We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches.”
Erik Russell — Georgia Southern
to Notre Dame, his post game message to his team was, “All those who need showers, take them.”
“At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. That costs money, and we don’t have any.
Duffy Daugherty — Michigan State
1. “I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades.”
Murray Warmath — Minnesota
2. “Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing IS a contact sport.”
“If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.
Spike Dykes — Texas Tech
Shug Jordan — Auburn
“Always remember Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.”
1. “They whipped us like a tied up goat.” 2. “Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon.”
Frank Leahy — Notre Dame
“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.”
Bowden Wyatt —
Tennessee “My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball, and arrive in a bad humor.”
Lou Holtz
“ Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football” — John Heisman
Walt Garrison — Oklahoma State
“I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me. “He said, “Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren’t any good.”
Lou Holtz - AR — MN — Notre Dame — SC
1. “Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.” 2. “The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.”
Bobby Bowden — Florida State
1. “Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.” 2. “After you retire, there’s only one big event left, and I ain’t ready for that.”
Woody Hayes — Ohio State
“There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.”
Bob Devaney — Nebraska “I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.”
Joe Namath — Alabama
“When you win, nothing hurts.”
Alex Karras — Iowa
“I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms — Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.”
John McKay — USC
1. “We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” 2. After USC lost 51-0
Alex Karras
For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 9
unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks.” The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator’s mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.” After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It’s a woman. “I’ll give it a try,” she says, “but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”
Just for Laughs Runner
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.” “I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”
You bet
PUZZLE PAGE
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, “Here’s a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I’ll remove my unit
ACROSS 1. Lather 5. Close 9. Man 13. Again 14. Keyboard instrument 16. Many millennia 17. Location 18. Crown 19. Alumnus 20. Precipitous 22. Iotas 24. Resorts 26. Negatively charged particle 27. Kneecap 30. Free 33. Scaremonger 35. Curses 37. Toss 38. Anagram of “Amend” 41. Liveliness 42. Quietens 45. Flogger 48. Intensify 51. A baby’s room 52. A French dance 54. G G G G 55. Adjuvants 59. Gladden 62. Stinging remark 63. Queues 65. God of love 66. Wicked 67. Barges 68. Knights 69. Sort 70. Sea eagle 71. Achy
Talking dog
A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. “This dog can speak English,” he claims to the unimpressed agent. “Okay, Sport,” the guys says to the dog, “what’s on the top of a house?” “Roof!” the dog replies. “Oh, come on...” the talent agent responds. “All dogs go ‘roof’.” “No, wait,” the guy says. He asks the dog “what does sandpaper feel like?” “Rough!” the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. “No, hang on,” the guy says. “This one will amaze you.” He turns and asks the dog: “Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?” “Ruth!” goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office
DOWN 1. Back talk 2. Module 3. Abhorrent 4. Cleaning device 5. Excluding 6. Anagram of “Sire” 7. Small terrestrial lizard 8. Eager 9. Deep purplish red 10. Relating to aircraft 11. Give temporarily 12. Terminates 15. Point of greatest
10 February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
despair 21. Inside of your hand 23. Incite 25. Slender 27. Gloomy atmosphere 28. Not silently 29. An Old Test. king 31. Showman 32. Contemptuous look 34. Explosive 36. Agile 39. A very long period 40. Medication
onto the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says “Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?”
a neighbor to take the seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”
Snake bite
The trick
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.” The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.”
Great seats
It’s Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even
43. Readable 44. Petty quarrel 46. Tall woody plant 47. Futile 49. Iniquities 50. Beginner 53. Adult male singing voice 55. Assist in crime 56. A pioneer in electrochemistry 57. Trickle 58. Stitched 60. Unit of pressure 61. Being 64. South southeast
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
New diet plan
A woman walks into her doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I need to lose weight fast.” The doctor replies, “Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt.” Two months later, she comes in and says, “Doctor, it’s a dream come true. I’m half the size I was.” But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down. He asks, “Where did you get this twitch?” The woman replies, “I don’t have a nervous twitch; I’m chewing bubble gum.”
SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.
This week’s solutions:
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 11
Neighborhood parks. Yours at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta.
BE OPEN
Many KB Home neighborhoods feature amazing amenities like parks, ball fields, playgrounds and more. At KB Home, we’re ready to build you a great new home AND a relaxing new lifestyle.
Ironwood at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta Homes from the mid $300s
Acacia at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta Homes from the mid $300s
• 2,282–4,506 sq. ft., 3–6 bedrooms., 2–6 baths • parks, baseball field, tot lots and more • solar power system included as a standard feature
• 2,343–2,607 sq. ft., 3–5 bedrooms, 2–4 baths • single-story homes • solar power system included as a standard feature
From I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4150
From I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4057
Broker Cooperation Welcome. ©2014 KB Home (KBH). A 1.4kW solar power system is included as a standard component of a new KB home at Mahogany Hills. Energy bill savings are based on estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas for a home as designed (not as built) with the corresponding solar power system compared to estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas without the system. KBH makes no guarantee of energy production by any solar power system installed with a home or of energy costs or savings, if any, experienced by any homeowner. Energy costs and savings, if any, will vary by floor plan, home size, occupancy, daily activities, appliance usage, thermostat settings, climate conditions and orientation of the home and the solar power system size and operating conditions, among other factors. KBH reserves the right to modify, discontinue or replace any solar options at any time without prior notice. Other restrictions and limitations may apply. Solar power systems are supplied by SunPower Corporation®. KBH and SunPower Corporation are independent companies. SunPower and the SunPower logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of SunPower Corporation. Plans, pricing, financing, terms, availability and specifications subject to change/prior sale without notice and may vary by neighborhood, lot location and home series. Buyer responsible for all taxes, insurance and other fees. Sq. footage is approximate. HOA applies. Photos may depict upgraded landscaping/options and may not represent lowest-priced homes. Photo does not depict racial preference. See sales representative for details. KB Home Sales–Southern California Inc. (CA Real Estate License 00242327). SOCAL-3959
12 February 1, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com