The Miscellany News, Volume CXLVII, Issue 1 (Sept. 12, 2013)

The Miscellany News

Volume CXLVII | Issue 1

September 12, 2013

Since 1866 | miscellanynews.com

Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY

US Post Office shuts Veteran freshmen acclimate to down campus branch civilian, academic life at Vassar Vassar mailroom forced to reassess methods, capabilities after budget constraints prompt government to close post offices across America Emily Hoffman guest reporter

eginning on Sept. 1, the Vassar Post Office in the College Center implemented some significant changes.

The post office will no longer provide retail services for outbound personal mail, such as sales of postage stamps and package processing. While it will continue to accept outbound personal mail that already has the correct postage applied, any outbound personal mail that requires weighing or special services must now be sent from the Arlington branch post office which is located on Raymond Avenue or any other US post office.

These changes began in April when the US Postal Service notified Vassar that they intended to terminate Vassar’s contract and remove the retail operations from Vassar’s campus in order to reduce expenses. Vassar began to subsidize the retail operations

courtesy of JohnAbbot

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on campus with general operating funds. However, after review by the senior officers and the Committee on Priorities and Planning, Vassar decided that it was necessary to terminate the service in order to cut costs, especially in light of Vassar’s continued effort to minimize expenses and allow for more efficient financial operations.

These changes only affect the cash and credit walk-up sales at the retail window of the post office and will not have an effect on incoming mail or outbound department mail. FedEx shipping will still be provided through the Purchasing department and the on-campus FedEx drop box will remain in service.

Additionally, USPS has changed their schedule for picking up mail and will now be collecting Vassar’s mail around noon each day instead of 4:30 See POST OFFICE on page 4

The 11 Posse scholars pose with President of the College Catharine Hill, former Dean of Freshman Ben Lotto and representatives from the Posse Foundation. This year’s scholars have served in the Army, Air Force, and Marine Corps.

Eloy Bleifuss-Prados

AssistANt feAtures editor

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he Vassar Posse Program that launched this fall was the first of its kind in the nation. Vassar, partnering with the Posse Foundation, Inc, has recruited and given full four-year scholarships to a group of 11 post-9/11 veterans. The first Posse veterans group have now almost completed their first full week of classes at Vassar.

For the 11 Posse scholars, their class responsibilities and goals are the same as any other “traditional” freshman. These men and women have faculty pre-major advisers, as well as student fellows; many are even experiencing life in collegiate dorms.

Their arrival signals changes for the lives of the Posse scholars, the character of the student population, and—even beyond Vassar—the ed-

ucational opportunities available to combat veterans.

In an online USA Today column that came out last month, Posse Scholar David Carrell explained how he became part of Vassar’s Class of 2017. Carrell became medically retired after serving in the Army for four deployments in Iraq across nine years. At that point in his life he felt like he had two choices.

See POSSE on page 6

Warari Orientation Starr Lecture brings Pulitzer explores winning author to campus takes on field hockey identity W Jack Owen Arts editor

Palak Patel

desigN editor

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Inside this issue

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FEATURES

Demystifying senior living: surviving as a new chef

Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan. Egan, who has written other novels and short fiction including The Keep and Emerald City, won the Pulitzer Prize in Fiction for Goon Squad as well as the National Book Critics Circle Award in Fiction.

Egan will present the William Starr Lecture, which traditionally is given by the common reading’s author, on Wednesday at 5:30 p.m. in the Villard Room.

See EGAN on page 15

courtesy of Pieter M van Hattem/Vistalux

any upperclassmen think back to their first week at Vassar with trepidation and excitement. Almost every student on this campus has experienced the awkwardness that is Freshman Orientation. But this year, those in charge of orientation decided to incoroporate new events and activities and revamp some of the others to better familiarize the freshmen with Vassar and tohelp them to understand how their individual identities fit into the larger idenity of the campus.

For example, last year, Vassar’s Class of 2016 was welcomed with the event “I Am Vassar” which was meant to help the freshmen feel more comfortable with their 600-plus fellow classmates.

This year, student fellows and their fellow groups were asked to participate in an “Identity Wheel” exercise before attending “I Am Vassar” in order to first introduce the freshman to the idea of an individual’s complex identity .

“I feel that the changes made pull the purpose of orientation into the right direction,” stated Vice President for Student Life Genesis Hernandez ’15. “While it was of course wonderful that so much time is spent on educating incoming students on safe drinking and consent, there was/is a necessity to discuss how to navigate difference on campus and understanding the myriad of identities See ORIENTATION on page 8

hat do a Vassar freshman and a Pulitzer Prize winning novelist have in common?

One might laugh at that comparison, but according to Dean of Freshmen and Associate Professor of English Susan Zlotnick, though the divide is wide, in essence the two are not all that different.

“Yes, there’s a big gap between being in a freshman writing sem-

inar and being a Pulitzer prize winning novelist, but writing is writing and they have to start imagining themselves as writers,” Zlotnick said.

“Therefore, they can be in dialogue with this Pulitzer prize winning novelist, because she may be particularly successful, but they’re all writers and that’s how we want them to begin to see themselves.”

This summer, the common reading for the class of 2017 was A

Members of the Class of 2017 were asked to read A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan, pictured above.

The Pulitzer Prize winning author will present the William Starr Lecture on Wednesday, Sept. 18, at 5:30 pm.

14 ARTS

Breaking down director Blomkamp’s sci-fi bust

20 SPORTS

Chris Brown sports editor

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ith a fresh new bunch of athletes entering the Vassar sphere, one squad in particular has encountered a drastic change in their team dynamic.

The Women’s Field Hockey team’s coaching staff just underwent a complete overhaul. Longtime head coach Cara Dunn decided to leave Vassar for another job at Wheaton College, and new Head Coach Michael Warari stepped into her position this previous summer to bring a new mentality to the team.

Breaking from tradition, Warari was brought on by the school in the summer to rejuvenate the program, providing the school with an energetic tactician on the sidelines. He previously served as an assistant coach at Dickinson College in Carlisle, PA for one year, where he assisted with recruiting and scouting for the team. He also specialized in the instruction of goalkeepers, a skill that the Brewers lacked in the previous year.

Prior to Dickinson, Warari was an assistant at Division III powerhouse Messiah College in Grantham, PA from 20082011, and it was there that he learned the ins and outs of winning at the collegiate level.

Vassar climbed to the top of Warari’s list as soon as the interview process went underway. “Wanting to be a head See WARARI on page 19

Wiechert’s hat trick kicks off new soccer season

Page 2

The Miscellany News

September 12, 2013

Editor-in-Chief Bethan Johnson

Senior Editors Chris Gonzalez Steven Williams

Contributing Editors Ruth Bolster Adam Buchsbaum Jessica Tarantine

News Noble Ingram Features Aja Saalfeld Opinions Angela Della Croce Joshua Sherman Humor & Satire Lily Doyle Arts Jack Owen Sports Christopher Brown Tina Caso Photography Cassady Bergevin Spencer Davis Design Palak Patel Online Alessandra Seiter Crossword Editor Assistant Features Assistant Sports Assistant Photo

Jack Mullan Eloy Bleifuss-Prados Luka Laden Jacob Heydorn Gorski Jiajing Sun Assistant Online Youngeun “Ellis” Kim Victoria Bachurska Business Manager David Rosenkranz Reporters Natasha Bertrand Emma Daniels Emily Hoffman Anna Iovine Maggie Jeffers Lily Sloss Margaret Yap Columnists Zach Rippe Max Rook Eli J. Vargas I Design Bethany Terry Online Rachel Dorn Copy Maxélle Neufville Tori Madway Macall McQueen Ashley Pecorelli Marya Pasciuto Camilla Pfeiffer Emma Roellke ADVERTISING POLICY The Miscellany News (1) reserves the right to reject or edit any advertising copy at any time; (2) will not accept advertisements that promote discrimination on the basis of race, creed, color, sex or sexual orientation, nor will it accept advertisements of a political nature or advertisements that promote products or services illegal in the State of New York: (3) will print every advertisement with the word “advertisement” above it; (4) shall not be liable for failure to print, publish or circulate all or any portion of any issue if such a failure is the result of circumstances beyond the paper’s control.

LETTERS POLICY The Miscellany News is Vassar College’s weekly open forum for discussion of campus, local and national issues, and welcomes letters and opinions submissions from all readers.

Letters to the Editor should not exceed 450 words, and they usually respond to a particular item or debate from the previous week’s issue. Opinions articles are longer pieces, up to 800 words, and take the form of a longer column. No letter or opinions article may be printed anonymously. If you are interested in contributing, e-mail misc@vassar.edu.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

September 12, 2013

NEWS

Page 3

Debate Society hosts Demo Round, recruits freshmen Maggie Jeffers guest reporter

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Joshua Sherman/The Miscellany News

he Debate Society held a Demo Round on Tuesday, Sept. 10 from 7-8:30 p.m. The event, which took place in Rockefeller 200, featured Debate Society member Arushi Raina ’14 and Secretary Sophia Pitcairn ’16 as the Opposition, and Nathan Tauger ’14 and Jessica Tarantine ’14 as the Government. The night was filled with spirited arguments that touched on such issues as morality, religion and the nature of authority. Cases were put forth not only by the competing debaters, but by several audience members as well.

The Demo Round was intended to attract new members for the club from both the freshman and upper classes. It was open to the entire campus, though it was advertised mainly through the mailing list and by word of mouth.

President of the Debate Society Meg Mielke ’14 responded in an emailed statement, “Primarily, we hope that observers will think that debate is interesting, and something that they would want to pursue at Vassar. Also, we hope that potential debaters, especially those that have never debated before, see that debate can be approachable, and not intimidating, and mostly, a lot of fun.”

She continued, “As an organization that promotes interesting dialogue, we hope that everyone who comes, even current debate members, learn from the debate and that it sparks at least a little discussion.”

Accordingly, Debate Society practices are open to all Vassar students. The team is competitive, but maintains an open door policy during its meetings because the organization maintains that intellectual banter is valued above all. As Mielke explained, “[practice] anyone on campus who wants to hear interesting arguments, or let some aggression out in some friendly debate.”

This philosophy is reflected in the American parliamentary debate format, which the Debate Society uses and competes in. According to Mielke, “[American parliamentary debate

is] loosely based on British Parliamentary debate, which is itself born from the decorum of the British Parliament.” As such, the debate is framed as an argument between the Government and Opposition, each side being a team of two people. The Government team proposes a case, which can be about almost anything, from pop culture, philosophical questions, to serious public policy issues, and the Opposition team does its best to fight it.

In an emailed statement, Secretary Pitcairn wrote, “We’ve spent some time choosing a topic that will make for an interesting debate so that the audience and potential members of the team can see what debate is really like.”

At the Demo Round, the proposed case was as follows: you are a deeply religious Christian, and are confronted by an angel who tells you that God has a message. From this point forward, intentionally doing evil will send you to Heaven, and intentionally doing good will send you to Hell. This change applies only to you.

Tauger, who first made a short introduction explaining the debating rules and encouraging audience members to show their appreciation for points made by slamming their palms onto their chairs, read this statement aloud, then asked his opponents whether they preferred to argue for or against committing evil acts. Raina announced that the Opposition had chosen to argue in favor of continuing to do good despite the angel’s instructions, and shortly after, the debate began.

Tauger was the first to make a case, and used all of his allotted 8 minutes to point out many examples. He explained, “a life of evil is not a life without purpose.” He also maintained that in doing evil, the person in the dilemma would still be following God’s word.

Additionally, he argued that one should always listen to figures of authority, as they know more than the average person does. He concluded by declaring that the person in question should “take one for the team”; one’s evil actions might inspire greatness in others.

Raina, in response, stressed the importance of empirical evidence collected by an individ-

Vassar’s Debate Society hosts a demo debate with the hope of recruiting new members. The organization competes interscholastically in American Parliamentary, and is open to all levels of experience. ual throughout his or her life, which she believed would prove that good-doing was the right path. She also suggested that God isn’t the ultimate authority, and that the effect that evil-doing can have on a person needed to be considered.

Both speakers received enthusiastic fist slamming from the crowd upon concluding their orations.

The debate continued, between interludes of scripted thanks and introductions by the facilitator, with Pitcairn and Tarantine offering rebuttals to the opposing side’s initial arguments.

Each speaker’s arguments were spirited and well-received by the onlookers.

Periodically, one member of the opposing team would stand up during a speaker’s turn and hold his or her arms out, indicating that he or she would like to ask a question. These questions were usually addressed quickly.

At one point in the evening, people from the audience were invited to stand at the podium to give a one-minute speech. Several attendees accepted this offer and voiced the opinions they had been harboring while watching the debate unfold.

Raina remarked in front of the room before beginning her concluding statements, “I can already tell that some people are going to join us next week.”

After the debate, one student who preferred to remain anonymous, disclosed, “I didn’t really want to join before going, but now I think it would be a fun experience for me.”

Several other students echoed this idea and enthusiastically expressed interest in further developing their role in the Debate Society.

Debate Society practices are held in Rockefeller 307 at 8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays and are open to all.

‘Gays of Our Lives’ facilitates discussion on sexuality Anna Iovine

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guest reporter

or power over what is asked or how panelists respond during the event,” Taveras confirmed.

Students chimed in asking about numerous topics from favorite dance move at the Mug, to relationship status, to favorite color. “There was a really good range of questions. I especially liked that there were questions about relationships and consent,” said Ruiz.

Smith agreed noting, “Each one made it possible for the panelists to answer in a diverse, personal, and unique way. Some of the questions and some of the responses to those questions incited further discussion after the event as well, which I think is fantastic.”

The rules, though, changed slightly from previous years. Instead of the audience guessing the panelists’ sexual identities, the panelists revealed their orientations themselves

Cassady Bergevin/The Miscellany News

n Saturday, Sept. 7, the Queer Coalition of Vassar College (QCVC) held the annual Gays of Our Lives panel at Walker Field House. The group puts on the event every year to teach freshmen that students at Vassar identify as various sexual orientations, and that they should not be afraid to identify as they feel. Before hosts Hannah Ellman ’14 and Grace Ashford ’14 took the stage, QCVC co-presidents Julli Taveras ’16 and Lillian Kalish ’16 explained what the event was all about. They insisted, “Gaydar is not a thing at Vassar,” and that QCVC began Gays of Our Lives in order to break stereotypes.

The QCVC Executive Board began planning the event last semester. “Our Exec Board had several extensive meetings in the spring in which we discussed what we wanted out of the event and out of the panelists we chose,” said Taveras. Preparation involved “setting up interviews for potential panelists, getting the word out so that those who [were] interested [could] approach us, and reaching out to potential hosts.” Taveras said of the vigorous interview process, “We had almost thirty people interview for this year’s event.”

The Executive Board wanted panelists to be compelling and unabashed to talk about their sexuality. “Gays of Our Lives was my favorite event of freshmen orientation,” panelist Elizabeth Ruiz ’14 said, adding, “and after attending the event again sophomore year, I decided to ask around to see about getting on the panel.

A few of my friends in the LGBTQ community were really supportive of the idea, so I auditioned back in the spring.” Fellow panelist Kain Smith ’16 was also inspired to join the panel after watching the event in the past. He said, “Being a panelist for Gays of Our Lives was something that I had wanted to do since attending the event last year. So, I applied, and while being interviewed I answered the questions just as I would have at any other time; I was not raised to be bashful about sex and grew

up talking about it with my family often, which made interviewing that much easier.”

“I always saw the fact that Vassar held this event as an indicator that we really are a progressive school—unafraid of discussing something so important to our daily lives as sexuality and identity,” said panelist Rob Leinheiser ’16. “And not only talking about these elements usually only discussed in whispers, but doing it through a booming microphone to hundreds of strangers,” Leinheiser continued.

The panel was made up of eight Vassar students of varying sexual identities. Throughout the night, hosts Ellman and Ashford of comedy troupe Indecent Exposure picked out freshmen in the audience to ask questions. “The questions at the event are all meant to come from first-year audience members. We have no input

Hannah Ellman ’14 and Grace Ashford ’14 served as masters of cermamonies for Gays of Lives, which featured a panel of eight students. Freshman asked questions of the panelists to facilitate discussion.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

after they answered all the questions. “This is really an extension of our efforts in making the event centered more around self-identification rather than falling back onto stereotypes in the queer community that can become quite exclusive,” said QCVC secretary Katie Maguire ’16.

The panelists bared themselves to a gymnasium full of fellow Vassar students, most of them wide-eyed freshmen. Smith admitted, “I was pretty nervous throughout the whole thing, but it didn’t stop me from having fun.”

At the beginning of the event Ruiz was also apprehensive. As the event went on, however, her nerves faded: “That was the first time I had spoken in front of so many people, and I wanted to give answers that were illuminating and likable. Once I settled into the flow and banter of things I felt much more at ease.”

Leinheiser agreed, “It’s a nerve-racking experience, but one that I knew was important to do despite any fears. And honestly, once it got going, it became more fun than scary to grab the microphone and talk about your personal life.”

“Hopefully the freshmen brought home with them the idea that diversity goes much deeper than surface level. I also hope that the idea of fluidity of identity was reinforced,” said Maguire. She continued, “QCVC put in a lot of work into Gays of Our Lives, so seeing it come together is simultaneously exciting and revealing.” Ruiz concurred, “The answers were all very relevant and interesting, and my hope is that we got the ball rolling for the Class of 2017 to have their own conversations regarding these things.”

“Overall, I think it went really well. QCVC did a great job selecting panelists, if I do say so myself. There were representatives of a variety of sexualities, genders, and ethnicities,” Ruiz continued.

Leinheiser explained, “Overall, it was a great experience—and if it made even one incoming student feel more comfortable with their identity or talking about their sexuality, then it was a success.”

NEWS

Page 4

September 12, 2013

Arlington Artist lectures on basics of abstract art Post Office O a necessary alternative Noble Ingram News Editor

POST OFFICE continued from page 1

p.m. as under the old model, according to manager of the Vassar post office, John Viola.

The Post Office sent an email to the Vassar community in August outlining these changes in order to make students aware of the new policies before they arrived on campus. According to Viola it seems that so far most people are aware of the changes in service and the transition, though not ideal, is moving along relatively smoothly considering the circumstances under which it is taking place.

“While it’s always unfortunate to change services, this was a good opportunity for Vassar to reduce expenses without impacting services core to its educational mission.

Vassar is lucky to have a USPS branch so close to campus which helps reduce the impact of change,” said Viola.

Many students have expressed concerns about the new changes. Ava Sadeghi ’15 described her struggle attempting to return an item she had bought and mailed to herself. Sadeghi did not have the stamps to send her package back to the producer and get her money back, so she was unable to utilize the Vassar post office.

Sadeghi recognized the fact that the current mailing situation is still not overly difficult while also pointing out the ways in which the change in policy has been a disservice to Vassar students. “It’s not a big deal since the Arlington post office is really close by, but it was definitely more convenient when the whole process could be done on campus.” Despite her concerns, Sadeghi still understood the need to cut back on Vassar’s spending.

“I don’t think the post office service is too significant of a resource. It is better to cut this service than something that students really value and that makes an impact on their educational experience,” she said.

Another student, Geli Periera ’14 expressed her frustrations. She said, “This policy takes away from the idea of an on-campus post office even further. The post office already did not have the normal hours of a post office, and now they don’t sell stamps, which all local post offices do, so it makes it hard to label it as an on-campus post office.”

Geli continued, offering concern for the developments withing the post office and thinking critically about the student response. “I just think people will be frustrated now that it doesn’t provide them with things that a normal post office would.”

Others remain unfazed by the new policy and believe that as more people become aware of the new policy, they will learn to prepare packages themselves and the result will be a sharp decline in the reliance of students on the post office for those services. Austin Khym ’15 said, “So many things are done electronically these days that there is not really a need for face-toface interaction at the retail window.”

He continued, “And now that people know about the new policy they can start bringing stamps from home for when they want to mail things as opposed to buying them at the window. There is no difference in price so it is not really an inconvenience.”

However, Khym saw an issue with the new USPS hours. “Having such an early pickup time for mail could really start to throw people off because they may wake up later or have class during that time and not be able to make it to main to drop off their mail.”

He continued, “4:30 is a much more manageable time and I think more people would be able to make that deadline for dropping off mail.”

n Friday September 6, the Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center hosted Thomas Nozkowski, a celebrated painter, Vassar parent, and art donor, as he gave a talk on abstract art and the show that was recently in the gallery, “Pictures of Nothing”. Nozkowski titled the talk “Pictures of Something” and focused on abstraction both in his own work as a painter and in works featured in the exhibition.

According to the Lehman Loeb Center’s website, “The exhibition’s approach is to showcase varieties of artistic abstraction that emerged over the last century, and to highlight the distinctions among them—from surrealism, abstract expressionism, and geometric abstraction, to color-field and hard-edge painting and minimalism.”

Kristen Cnossen ’15 affirmed this idea, outlining the diversity of works that exist between works in the gallery. “I think this idea helped the exhibition at the Loeb because it broke up the overall structure of semblance within the show. Mr. Nozkowski reminded us that giving a title to an exhibition or a name to a movement did not make all of the art within the movement similar. In fact, it may be an inaccurate way of looking at art, instead we should focus on individual artists, their own meanings, and their own movements,” she said.

One of Nozkowski’s main points in his discussion was the way in which artistic abstraction and representation intersect in unexpected ways. Early on in the discussion, Nozkowski made the statement that “No serious artist today sees a difference between representation and abstract painting.” He continued, emphasizing the ways in which forms and lines that wouldn’t traditionally be considered ‘recognizable’ do have recognizable qualities. As he stated, “I believe we understand what we see in art by analogy to what we see in the world. We can never find the pictures we live, but sometimes we can assemble a picture of what we remember,” he said.

Continuing on the theme of the artist’s personal connection to artistic abstraction, Nozkowski spoke in great depth of his own artis-

Outside the Bubble Iowa Gun Law Sparks Public Debate An Iowa state law denying sheriffs the right to withhold gun permits from residents based solely upon physical disability has sparked a public debate this week after Iowa sheriffs reportedly granted at least three gun permits to the legally or completely blind. (ABC News, “Blind people are granted gun permits in Iowa”, 9.9.13) Although private gun ownership is a privilege blind Iowans have enjoyed for some time, changes to Iowa state law in 2011 now allow the visually impaired to legally carry firearms in public. But while the permits are entirely legal, many question the new law on the grounds that it could be a public safety hazard.

“I’m not an expert in vision,” Delaware County Sheriff John LeClere said. “At what point do vision problems have a detrimental effect to fire a firearm? If you see nothing but a blurry mass in front of you, then I would say you probably shouldn’t be shooting something.” (USA Today, “Iowa Grants Gun Permits to the Blind”, 9.8.13) While some sheriffs have continued to deny blind residents access to these permits, others have admitted to licensing even the most severely visually impaired individuals, including those unable to legally drive or even read the application forms required to attain the permit.

In response to criticism, many Iowans contend that to deny the visually impaired weapon permits altogether would violate the Americans with Disabilities Act, and that any public safety concerns can be addressed by teaching the blind how to shoot guns safely and responsibly. Currently, however, those wishing to obtain a weapons permit need only to take an online handgun training course, and are not required to actually pass a shooting test. (LA Times, “Iowa issues gun permits to blind people, report says,” 9.9.13)

tic process. In particular, he spoke of the ways in which abstraction is improvisational and doesn’t adhere to a set of techniques or practices like other art movements. As he stated,“I improvise from the very beginning but I do have a subject matter. I don’t believe in tinkering…

It’s a machine and everything has to work together.”

Nozkowski continued, underlying the sometimes frustrating processes that artists undergo in translating the image that exists in their own heads onto the canvas. “In this dream in your mind, its perfect, when you meet reality… you know, it looks pretty bad,” he said.

A major theme of the talk was the way in which these recognizable qualities can jump out to the viewers and affect their art-viewing experience. Nozkowski spoke strongly about the particularities of looking at abstract art and the importance in the own viewer’s interpretation of what is before them. As Nozkowski said, “I believe that we really admire one thing in art.

That is the shock of recognition that another person could capture something we knew.”

Nozkowski also grappled with the idea of artistic abstraction’s importance in the context of art in general. This proved to be a common theme in discussions of abstraction on a larger scale. According to the Loeb’s website, longtime Chief Curator of Painting and Sculpture at the Museum of Modern Art, late Kirk Varnedoe dealt with questions such as “What is abstract art good for? Whats the use—for us as individuals, or for any society—of pictures of nothing, of paintings and sculptures or prints or drawings that do not seem to show anything except themselves?” in an exhibition of abstract art at the National Gallery in 2003. This is also where the name for the exhibition was derived from.

Cnossen appreciated the unique perspective Nozkowski brought to the talk. As she said, “I liked Vassar’s use of an individual artist’s explanation of abstract art vs. say, an art historian’s. I think the problem with ‘understanding’ abstract (modern, post-modern) art in our own epoch is that it is happening right now. We cannot step back and look at everything without bias or blind spots. Having Mr. Nozkowski come in and talk about not only his art, but

Although federal laws do not deny the blind the right to own guns, some states do have laws that restrict the visually impaired from obtaining gun permits, and many in Iowa believe lawmakers would do well to follow their example.

Even Patrick Clancy, superintendent of the Iowa Braille and Sight Saving School, has been a vocal critic of the law: “Although people who are blind can participate fully in nearly all life’s experiences, there are some things, like the operation of a weapon, that may very well be an exception.” (CBS, Iowa law allows gun permits for the blind,” 9.9.13) —Natasha Bertrand, Guest Reporter US Pressure Syria on Chemical Weapons On Monday, when asked what the Assad regime could do to avoid a U.S. military strike, Secretary of State John Kerry stated rather facetiously that the only option Syria had at this point was to give up its chemical weapons within the next week. Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov took this suggestion seriously, however, calling upon Syria just hours later to cede its chemical weapons stockpile to international control and subsequently have them destroyed, in order to avoid U.S. military strikes (BBC, 9.9.13).

Upon hearing of this offer, Obama called it a “potentially positive development” that he is willing to embrace, but wishes to keep the option open of punitive military action against Assad for using these weapons. (The New York Times, “Obama Calls Russia Offer on Syria Possible ‘Breakthrough’,” 9.9.13) Although the Syrian government has yet to explicitly acknowledge the existence of Syria’s vast chemical weapons arsenal, it backed Russia’s proposal to hand over chemical weapons to authorities: “We, for the sake of protecting our people and children and country and due to our trust in the Russian efforts, will cooper-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

the small groups of artists and intellectuals he often circulates reminded his audience that he wasn’t just talking about the history and expectations we’ve had in the past, but about the history and expectations of the future: the history being made in the present.”

A key point in Nozkowski’s talk was the emphasis on the way in which abstract art is deeply personal to the artist. In describing his own process as an artist he noted specific ideas that he has tried to translate into art through abstraction.

Nozkowski said, “I wanted to make a picture that could speak to those ideas in minutes. Direct and easy is more important than it seems.”

He continued this idea, responding to the idea of abstract art’s audience by revealing that when an artist tackles the question on how to represent an idea, “Hopefully the answer will resonate at least within the artist.”

Cnossen responded to this idea, echoing the importance of the artists own vision in his work. “I definitely think he hit a cord with his comment about how his own definitions of abstract art will only help the audience understand his own work,” she said.

Reactions to the talk were largely positive.

Questions went well into the time allotted for the reception after the talk and many students, faculty members, and members of communities outside of Vassar stayed to chat with the Art Department and Nozkowski.

“I liked the lecture because Vassar brought an individual artist in and asked him teach his own art, not anyone else’s. Art of our time is so complex, I think it is hard to give a broad definition and explanation for it,” stated Cnossen. She continued, “Perhaps because we are living the art as it is made, or perhaps because time makes the details fade. Future generations might be able to give our art broad explanations, but until then we can only analyze “individual movements of individual artists.”

Nozkowski finished the talk optimistaclly.

He argued that today is the ideal time for artists and art appreciators to explore both abstract art and art in general. “This is the golden age.

Our audience is the most sophisticated audience that there ever has been,” he said.

ate fully with Russia in this regard so as to take away the excuses of this aggression,” Syrian Foreign Minister Walid Moallem said in a statement Monday. (LA. Times, “Syria backs Russian proposal for regime to hand over chemical weapons”, 9.9.13) France said on Tuesday that it would propose a UN Security Council Resolution pushing the idea further. (The New York Times, France to Seek U.N. Backing for Russian Plan on Syrian Chemical Arsenal”, 9.10.13) According to information acquired through diplomatic cables and intelligence records, for well over thirty years the West has been supplying the Assad regime with materials capable of bolstering Syria’s chemical weapons arsenal, with companies such as Maine Biological Laboratories to profit from this lucrative business deal. (New York Times, “With the World Watching, Syria Amassed Nerve Gas,” 9.7.13) Syria’s amassment of chemical weapons, though inconspicuous, has never been kept a secret from the international community. Not since the 1980’s, however, has Syria’s increasing arsenal placed high enough on any countries’ political agenda to warrant scrutiny or outcry, and has always been kept well under the radar by a more pressing international focus on limiting the spread of nuclear weapons.

A leaked French intelligence document has revealed that Syria has amassed over 1,000 tons of chemical weapons over thirty years; it is an arsenal that includes not only nerve gas, but sarin gas as well—the chemical allegedly used by the Assad regime to kill more than 1400 people on an Aug. 21 attack in the suburbs of Damascus. Syria currently has a large enough stockpile of chemical weapons to kill millions, although Assad continues to deny that these weapons have been used by the regime at any point during Syria’s two-year civil war. (Metro, “Syria’s deadly stockpile: 1,000 tonnes of nerve gas could kill millions,” 9.2.13) —Natasha Bertrand, Guest Reporter

September 12, 2013

FEATURES

Page 5

Middlebury program is a haven for language immersion

courtesy of Middlebury College

Middlebury College, located in upstate Vermont, is the home to the Middlebury Language Institute, where Anna Brashear ’15, along with others, spent her summer in a full immersion language program.

Anna Brashear guest reporter

W

e started the countdown from 10 after the nervous laughter in the auditorium had faded to a silent, expectant tension. …5…4…3…2…1…0. And utter silence. Two hundred and fifty students glanced around the room, completely speechless and dumfounded in this pregnant space between the one world that we had inhabited during our 3-day orientation and what was to come. The director of our program stood grinning at the podium onstage and said simply: “Viel Spaß.”

This perhaps overly dramatic countdown was to begin my summer experience at a total German immersion program (auf Deutsch!) at Middlebury College in Vermont. Those two ominous words that began my language adventure until the closing ceremony where we did our German countdown back to English, I had a roller-coaster of a language experience, complete with just a little pinch of identity cri-

sis but also a dash of cultural wonderment on the side.

If you want to know anything about Middlebury Language Schools it’s best to start with the Language Pledge. This is Middlebury’s trademark feature that makes their program, without a doubt, one of, if not the single best, language learning programs in the United States.

The Pledge is signed immediately after the opening ceremonies described above and details an agreement between the student and the school that absolutely no language except the target language will be spoken within the confines of the program. There are grudging exceptions to accommodate communication with family and friends, but the school directors ask that these communications be kept to the absolute possible minimum, and in every case, away from the ears of other language school students.

The students, however, are probably this

policy’s biggest fans. Just walk around campus and try to count the enormous number of students sporting water bottles, t-shirts, keychains, and all other varieties of paraphernalia sporting the motto: No English Spoken Here.

My friends have all asked me “How was it?” which is a question so large I can’t even begin to answer articulately, but on a small scale it’s perhaps a bit easier: My typical day looked like this: 7am, wake up to go eat breakfast and finish the last details on homework assignments before class at 8:30.

Then start with either Literature or German Culture and Society and finally end the fourhour daily class period with everyone’s favorite, German grammar. Finally, after battling against dependent clauses, adjective endings, a plethora of idiomatic pronouns and worst of all, the subjunctive tense, we are finally free for lunch.

Relief, right? Wrong. At lunch we share our meals with our professors and are encouraged to sit with and meet new people every day.

That means constantly answering new questions, getting to know the other students from all levels of German with your own questions a practice known to include pantomiming, or sometimes, if you are stuck sitting at a table full of professors, stammering your way through philosophical or academically challenging discussions.

At first, this relentless ritual of eating every meal together in German, attending every lecture together in German, trying to puzzle through grammar questions and mystery vocab in German, even socializing at fun events like dance parties with the language—it was all exhausting.

I went to bed every night feeling like my head was a brick hitting the pillow. Not to mention being haunted by translation nightmares.

They had said I would dream in German at this place, but not like this.

But eventually through the relationships we all built and the routine we created, I stopped wishing for my English life back. Where at first German had been a barrier blocking me from expressing myself to others and building meaningful relationships, it slowly became the

real stuff of the bonds I made with others in the program.

About four weeks in, we all realized how strange it would be to speak English with each other again upon the end of the program. We’d only used English for a couple of days during the orientation, but we were now really thinking of each other in German terms and with respect to the identities we had established through our shared linguistic experience. In fact, most of us ended up deciding that we would rather keep in touch in German.

Ups and downs and everything in between, I left the German school able to make many claims I had never made before. For instance, I could now say that: I had performed a theater piece—yes, memorized—in a foreign language.

Or, I had finally understood the true meaning of lost in translation, e.g. when I learned very uniquely German words and phrases. Or, I had attempted to read Goethe and Schiller. I’m just going to leave that one at “attempted.” However, I have hope for Goethe and Schiller as I continue my German education.

For anyone considering having an immersion experience in a language, I cannot recommend the Middlebury language schools more wholeheartedly. It is certainly no summer camp in the average sense of the word, but it certainly is an unparalleled experience in language discovery, cultural appreciation and also quite simply, humility.

I cannot count the number of times I embarrassed myself in the German school—a certain Britney Spears translation/poetic interpretation for the talent show comes to mind—but the language schools are the safest environment imaginable for such a learning endeavor, and to this day my pride in accomplishing the program outweighs almost all of the more than cringe-worthy interactions I can remember.

In an increasingly connected world, appreciation for and a concerted effort to learn about other cultures has immense value.

So take a trip outside of your comfort zone, count down from 10—in whatever language you prefer—and before you know it, you may be doing all sorts of things that you never even dreamed of doing.

Internships in City a difficult balancing act, but rewarding Ruth Bolster

CoNtriButiNg editor

E

ach semester, a portion of the student body completes internships in New York City, as well as local student teacher placements.

Although work placements are often necessary steps towards securing employment after graduation, balancing these vocational ventures with schoolwork, as well has paying for transportation and other costs related to their internships, has the potential to make these placements difficult for some students to complete.

For Vassar students, work placements such as internships and student teaching serve as critical stepping-stones to starting a career.

“Practical experiences like internships offer students a chance to connect what they are learning in the classroom to the larger world of work, and provide an opportunity to put their transferable skills into action,” wrote Stacy Bingham, Director of the Career Development Office (CDO), in an emailed statement.

“I think the end result is that students who participate in meaningful experiences outside the classroom (whether through internships, field work, volunteerism, campus leadership, etc.) are better able to connect the dots between life at Vassar and life after Vassar,” she added.

Vassar Student Association President Deborah Steinberg ’14, who acquired a position at Senator Kirsten Gilliband’s New York City office, said that she hopes to use her internship to further explore her career interests in public policy. Working as a Constituent Services Intern in Consumer Affairs, Steinberg is working at assisting a team that responds to inquiries from Gillbrand’s various constituents about housing, mortgages, unemployment and agriculture.

Although the internship is only twice a week, Steinberg anticipates that balancing her

internship with schoolwork and extracurriculars will be difficult.

“The first day was particularly challenging, because all I wanted to do was check my email and make sure no one needed anything from me, and I was anxious the entire day,” Steinberg admitted. “And to be fair, I did have like 40 emails when I got home. I think I just have to be really conscious about how I use my time and how I manage it.”

In the fall of 2012, Matt Ortile ’14 regularly commuted into New York City for an internship with Town and Country magazine.

He said that he credits his experience interning during the school year with helping to open up other internship opportunities in his desired field.

“It looked great…that I was willing to commute from Vassar to New York City with a full course load. It makes it look really good because it shows that you are dedicated, it shows that you can balance things,” he said.

In addition to carefully scheduling their time, interns commuting into New York also face the monetary burden of paying for travel expenses.

For students wishing to commute into the city, the Field Work Office offers a $200 stipend to help offset transportation costs. However, costs are high for even a small number of trips; a tentrip rail pass from Metro North that would allow one to travel during peak commuting hours costs $227.50.

From the first week of September to the first week of December, a student taking the train twice a week, to and from Poughkeepsie, would be commuting 52 times, thus requiring five passes and one additional round trip ticket.

“Train fare in particular is costly and the $200 subsidy would not cover the cost of commuting into NYC one day a week for the semester,” wrote Bingham.

She continued, “In this way, yes, I would say that transportation cost might affect a student’s

ability to take an internship, especially one in the city.”

Director of Field Work Peter Leonard emphasizes that the Field Work Office does work to subsidize transportation costs for all students who are commuting to internships.

“If you are commuting locally, we have subsidized taxis, where you pay $45 and they get you back and forth, which is a great deal. If you drive, we give you $60 for gas.”

“The students going to New York are going further [than the students traveling locally], and their stipend increases to $200. I think we should emphasize that $200 is still a lot…But if we had more money, I would love it for students to travel for free,” Leonard added.

However in some cases, it is possible to apply for addition funds through other channels.

Ortile, a Media Studies and English double major, was able to secure additional transportation funds through the Media Studies department. Steinberg is applying to the June Ross Marks ’49 Travel Fund and the Academic Enrichment Fund, both of which are administered by the Dean of Studies Office. Each fund grants students up to $500 and can be used toward offsetting the sometimes high costs associated with fieldwork.

Although students always have the option to complete an internship in New York City, students hoping to get their New York State teaching certification through the Education Department have a slightly different path. These students must go out into the Poughkeepsie community to student teach as part of the Education curriculum.

Caroline Locke ’14 is currently working as a student teacher five days a week in order to get her New York State teaching certification.

“I think transportation has always been a challenge with student teaching and field work placements, especially since the college does not always have its pick of available and acces-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

sible local schools,” wrote Locke in an emailed statement.

“I don’t expect to be paying too much for gas, but some other teachers are placed further away in different districts and it seems unfair that they should have to be paying out of pocket more for something that is required for their education.”

Vassar’s Education Department does have a small fund that can be used to offset transportation costs. In an emailed statement, Associate Professor and Chair of Education Christopher Bjork wrote, “We realize that these funds will not cover all of students’ expenses, but we try to help out as much as we can, given our small budget.”

In addition to these funds, the Education department interviews students a year before they begin their student teaching. During this time, students share any information that may assist the department with placing them in a school.

“If a student does not have a car, we try our best to place the student at a school within walking distance,” wrote Bjork.

However, Bjork notes that accommodating student requests has become increasingly difficult.

“Over the last couple of years, making those placements has gotten extremely difficult. Several school districts no longer accept student teachers. We still try our best to honor student teachers’ placement requests.”

However, some fear that that the financial burden of fully paying for transportation costs may deter some students from taking work placements outside of Vassar.

When asked if he felt transportation costs deterred students from taking field work placements in the city, Leonard replied, “If your family is rich it is not problem at all. If your family is poor—of course it deters them. How could it not deter them?”

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September 12 2013

Art from trash a sustainable campaign Posse vets highlight age T gap, differences Aja Saalfeld

feAtures editor

POSSE continued from page 1

courtesy of Vassar College office of Sustainability

He wrote in his column, “I could either stay in Texas and coast, or start my over.”

He chose to start anew and applied for the Posse Program at Vassar. Carrell explained why he was interested in a small liberal-arts college like Vassar. He wrote, “[It was] because it will be the polar opposite of being a tank commander in Iraq. I will not have to live by the daily self-preservation mentality that is required of a soldier. I can explore the creative side of my personality. More importantly, my family deserves the opportunity to grow with me.”

He had said in a past interview that another one of the reasons why was interested in Vassar was because he didn’t know what he wanted to do. The generally few curricular requirements school demands allows students to mix and explore with different subjects.

Now that he is here he is uncommitted with respect to his major. In his first semester, though, he is taking a mix of History and Political Science courses.

The college had approached Carrell the past summer and asked him share his story. Carrell, who had experience writing for his local paper back when he lived in Texas, accepted, and worked on the column over two months.

As to whether it was difficult to be older than most other students on campus, Carrell, who is 32, said, “Not yet.”

He did tell a story from his first week of classes. “I walked in one day in my political science class and everyone got quiet and was, like, ‘is this the guy that is supposed to be teaching.’” Overall, though, he described the age gap as manageable. “Everyone has been supportive. If anyone asks I how old I am they know about the Posse program.”

Taking his family with him to Poughkeepsie, Carrell is living off campus with wife of twelve years and their eleven-year-old daughter and a ten-year-old son.

The family arrived in the summer, months before the majority of the Freshmen class did. Carrell said the adjustment has been smooth. “We’d moved a bunch of times in the military so it was nothing new to us.”

It takes, Carrell says, about 20 minutes for him to walk to campus. Other Posse scholars, however, are living right in the dorms. Mallory Tyler ’16 of Noyes is a Student Fellow of one of the Posse scholars.

Tyler wrote in an email, “As soon as I got my list of my fellowee’s names, though, I suspected one of them was a Posse freshman because he had been placed in a single.”

She added that apart from a meeting with the Posse Adviser to the veterans, former Dean of the Freshman and Professor Ben Lotto and Associate Director of Residential Life Terry Hanlon that detailed aspects of the program, she received no special training.

Despite various differences in age, background or personal history, the Posse scholar was no different the other members of her student fellow group. Tyler wrote “What he needs from me as a student fellow are the same as any other freshman.”

She also describes the experience of being a positive for herself and her other fellowees. “It was really cool to have his perspective and input during different orientation events,” As Vassar’s experiment with veterans begins in earnest, others have been taking note.

Earlier this year, the White House’s official website picked up the news of the Vassar-Posse partnership.

In a blog post, a spokesperson wrote that “Educational success continues to be a key element of ensuring our veterans continue to reach their true potential when they return home.”

Other colleges and universities have begin following in Vassar’s footsteps. Wesleyan University announced this past summer that it would be the second institution of higher-education in the country to launch a Veterans Posse Program. The university is currently receiving nominations for veterans that are “leaders in their places of work, communities and families.”

Wesleyan President Michael S. Roth said in a newsletter released last Monday, “We believe this group of undergraduates will add greatly to our diverse, dynamic campus, and that they will thrive in a community that values boldness, rigor and practical idealism.”

Out of this pool of hundreds of nominations, only a final group of ten to join Wesleyan’s class of 2018.

Like Vassar’s program, Wesleyan will cover the posse scholars’ full cost of tuition during their four years.

here’s no way to get around it—movein is a mess. Overflowing trash bins, just like getting used to new bathrooms and finding out which of your hall mates are the loudest, is just one of the inevitabilities of moving into college. Fortunately, Vassar Sustainability had a green solution to deal with all the freshman detritus.

Last Thursday, fellow groups set up on the quad with some decidedly trashy sculptures. As part of the Love Lockdown orientation event, fellow groups were tasked with building art using only trash scavenged from their dorm, with just a few essentials, such as duct tape and gloves, provided by Vassar Sustainability.

Vassar Sustainability Coordinator and

alumnus Alistair Hall ’11 organized the event in its inaugural year.

“As Vassar’s sustainability coordinator, I was the primary organizer of the event.

Once we learned last spring that ‘Love Lockdown’ was going to happen again in August, the sustainability interns and I knew that this gave us an opportunity develop lowcost, easy to implement activities for House Teams,” wrote Hall in an emailed statement.

Love Lockdown was the main setting for the design process. Tempted with house points for the Brewer House Cup, fellow groups constructed sculptures from trash found around the building.

In addition to focusing on getting freshmen to think critically about sustainability, additional benefits came along with the event. According to student fellow Josh

Trash sculptures, created by freshman fellow groups during the Love Lockdown, were on display in the College Center for roughly a week, emphasizing the importance of sustainability.

Pratt ’15, house pride was another focal point for the contest.

Wrote Pratt in an emailed statement, “It served the purpose of enhancing House Spirit...It was good fun and everyone put in a good effort.”

But ultimately, the goal was to get people thinking about the impact they have on the environment. It is easy to take what happens to trash for granted—after all, for most students, there is little actual interaction with garbage after it is tossed in the bin.

However, as Hall emphasized, just because students don’t have to deal with it does not mean trash just goes away.

“Each year, each dorm on average produces about 10 tons of garbage and an additional [approximately] three tons at move-in and move-out; we wanted to draw attention to the fact that stuff just doesn’t disappear after you’re done with it,” wrote Hall.

With the sculptures on display in the College Center after judging, Hall said he was hopeful about increasing the presence of sustainability on campus.

“It was great to have the entries displayed in the college center this past week. The dorms really went above and beyond what we expected of them,” wrote Hall.

He continued, “In coming up with potential toolkits for House Teams, we knew we wanted to do something different. There are so many lectures, presentations, and discussions during Orientation week that we knew that if we created another activity asking people to say ‘sit in a circle and discuss the environment,’ it would go over horribly.”

Environmentalism cropped up in other ways during freshmen orientation as well.

According to Pratt, house team training this year included various events related to reducing waste, including a sustainability breakfast.

Ultimately, the first annual trash sculpture contest served its purpose in bringing sustainability to incoming freshmen.

Bayit fills important spiritual niche Adam Buchsbaum CoNtriButiNg editor

A

fter every Friday night Shabbat service at the Bayit, dinner is served. And, as before any dinner, the Bayit assistants must toil away in the kitchen. On this past Friday, Isabella Johnson ’16, a Bayit assistant, was working on a dessert. She turned down the music to speak. “It’s like an upside down, caramelized apple pie,” she said. “I jokingly call myself a pastry chef.” This dinner was themed around Junior Year Abroad (JYA).

Shepard’s pie matches the student who jaunted to England, and tarté for France.

The meals are vegetarian and kosher.

Students lead the Shabbat services. Outside the kitchen, the first floor includes an inviting living room with nearby Jewish-themed pamphlets and literature. By the staircase, Rabbi Rena Blumenthal’s office door offers a master calendar where students may fill in when they wish to lead a service. Blumenthal is both the Assistant Director of Religious and Spiritual Life (RSL) and Advisor to Jewish Students. Her students simply call her Rena.

The Bayit, Blumenthal explained, became a Jewish campus life hub around 1997. Previously, the house was split into two apartments for students with spouses. In the mid-1990s, extensive renovation converted the house into the home that it is today.

As time went on, the Bayit’s role in Vassar Jewish life only expanded. Services became better attended and the space used more frequently for students to study, bake or watch films. All the usual trappings of college life are there: plenty of couches, a TV and a computer room.

Though the Bayit is open to all, it is particularly affiliated with Challah for Hunger and the Vassar Jewish Union (VJU). Challah for Hunger cooks weekly and donates the proceeds to charity, while the VJU uses the Bayit for Shabbat services and dinner. “[Blumenthal] is very generous with letting

Challah use the space, and often we benefit from being able to have [her] as a resource and advocate,” wrote President of Challah for Hunger Lauren Stamm ’14 in an emailed statement. “Often VJU members and Challah for Hunger bakers overlap.”

With Johnson in the kitchen, Bayit Intern Elena Fruchtman ’14 swung by the Bayit.

Fruchtman’s job involves increasing the number of interfaith programming sponsored by the Bayit and other organizations.

She found the Bayit during her sophomore year after bringing her fellowees to the Freshman Shabbat dinner. “I just loved that everyone was sitting around singing. We all knew the same songs. We all knew the same words. It didn’t really matter what anything meant because we all had this connection to the music, and for me that was super spiritual.” She joined the Bayit as an assistant soon after.

Naomi Dann ’14, the President of the Vassar Jewish Union, discovered the Bayit during Freshmen Shabbat dinner as well. “I went my freshman year and felt really alienated. None of the persons were familiar to me,” Dann said. “[I] really didn’t think that it was a space I felt comfortable in throughout the service.” But, during the post-service dinner, Dann spoke with a sophomore on the VJU board. He convinced her to run for a board position, and she’s been there since.

VJU Vice President Samantha Basch ’16 also discovered the Bayit in her freshman year. “I was still practicing Judaism at home, but I felt like I was just going through the motions,” Basch said. “Whereas when I came here, I felt like everything I was doing had meaning again.” The dinner itself was refreshing. “I was surprised that we were sitting in a circle, which was a big deal for me because the dynamic that that creates is very different from having a rabbi up high on a pulpit and then everyone else listening to them,” Basch explained. “There wasn’t that hierarchical feeling and that surprised me.”

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Indeed, Blumenthal encourages her students to explore the various issues tied to Jewish life. “It is a place for Jewish education and communal celebrations; a safe space for Jewish students to explore the complexities of Jewish identity; a place to integrate what students are learning in the classroom with lived cultural and religious experience; and a place where both Jews and non-Jews can learn about Jewish history, religion and culture,” Blumenthal wrote. “Jewish identity formation can be difficult to navigate. I would like to think that the Bayit is one forum among many on the Vassar campus for doing this kind of personal and communal exploration.”

The Bayit is open to Jewish and non-Jewish students alike, though misconceptions may make it seem otherwise. “Any Vassar student can have access to the Bayit as long as they go through 10-minute training with me beforehand,” Blumenthal explained.

“The purpose of the training is to make sure that students keep the Bayit safe, clean and kosher.” Indeed, Johnson is an example of a non-Jewish member of the Bayit community.

“I came just to see how it was because I was in period where I was exploring my faith and my religion. So then I came to freshmen shabbat, and I thought it was a really great place,” Johnson said. “The community was really welcoming, everyone was really friendly and the food was really good.”

With dinner still unfinished, Theo Pravitz-Rosen ’14, the other Bayit Assistant, arrived and quickly moved to the kitchen.

Soon enough, he was peeling away at the apples as Fruchtman chopped up the others for dessert. Pravitz-Rosen spoke upon the Bayit, a home he has had since his freshman year. “Coming here on Friday brought a structure for my week,” he observed. “[The Bayit is] a place to put a slightly different perspective on your Vassar experience than meeting in classes and engaging others in your head all the time.” It’s just another week at the Bayit, and everyone’s invited.

September 12, 2013

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Howlett a source of musical inspiration in Uganda Eloy Bleifuss-Prados Best fouNder eVer

A

courtesy of Shinji Shinoda

fter spending months at home or abroad, those returning to Vassar in the Fall may find the campus little different from how they last saw it last. For Christine Howlett, Associate Professor of Music and Director of Choral Activities at Vassar, her time away has changed her entire perspective on life.

Howlett spent a total of five weeks in Nansana, Uganda teaching music to schoolchildren.

In her two separate trips during her sabbatical and the following summer to the landlocked Sub-Saharan nation, she volunteered for the Ashinaga Foundation, a Japanese humanitarian organization that seeks to provide “educational and emotional support” for orphans in and around the world.

“It’s the furthest thing from Vassar you can possibly imagine in terms of the poverty levels and their regular daily lives,” said Howlett.

Howlett, who has worked at Vassar since 2003, left hoping to lay the groundwork for a possible future collaboration between the Ashinaga children and the Vassar choir in the future. Accompanying her during her second and three-week-long trip were Vassar students Malinda Reese ’16 and Samantha Smith ’14.

Each one of the over sixty children in the Ashinaga school, which is called the Ashinaga Uganda Rainbow House, has lost one or both parents to HIV/AIDS. The children now live with a guardian, usually a relative. For a couple of the children the school lunch of posho (ground cornmeal) and a high-caloric bean soup is the only square meal they receive for the entire day.

The children, Howlett explained, are grateful for everything the school gives them. “They really did understand what a gift it was compared to the hundreds of other orphans who don’t get to go to school.” Ashinaga will pay for the tuition and supplies for those who are

Howlett, working with the Ashinaga Foundation, teaches music to students at the Ashinaga Uganda Rainbow House. Howlett and several Ford Scholars spent time in Uganda during her sabbatical. accepted to the school, but will generally take only one child per household. It is important to Ashinaga, said Howlett, to spread what limited supplies they have to such a poor community.

The connection between Ashinaga and Vassar started with 1912 publication of “Daddy Long-Legs,” written by Jean Webster, class of 1901. Webster’s novel tells the story of an orphaned young woman who is able to attend a college similar to Vassar thanks to a scholarship provided by an anonymous benefactor.

President and founder of Ashinaga, Yoshiomi Tamai, remembered having “Daddy-Long Legs” read to him by his older sister after he lost his mother in a hit-and-run accident. In 1978 he capitalized on the book’s popularity in Japan (Ashinaga translates to “Daddy-Long-

Legs” in Japanese) to launch his humanitarian foundation. And when the Ashinaga Foundation reached out to Vassar, the college gave them Howlett’s name.

Howlett was excited by the prospect of bringing two schools that appear so different together in a choral project. When she arrived in mid-April for her first visit, she found that her greatest challenge in teaching was the language barrier. Uganda’s official language is English. The more widely spoken language however, and the one which most the children speak is Luganda, an indigenous language.

The English that the children could speak sounded heavily accented to Howlett’s ears.

So for the first weeks she required a translator.

Only once when she began writing the lyrics

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MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

on the blackboard, did the children begin to learn the song, and a few new English words.

To get the children to sing the right notes Howlett, in a sort Sub-Saharan re-imagining of “The Sound of Music”, taught the children solfège. That’s the do re mi fa so la ti do. This provided a breakthrough. “They would come in when they were supposed to be outside playing stand by the blackboard practicing their solfège,” said Howlett.

Reese and Smith assisted Howlett with choir lessons, but most of their time was devoted to their own work. Both came as part of the Ford Scholars Program, which paid them a stipend for their work, while the Ashinaga Foundation covered the cost of travel and lodging.

The two Vassar students documented their trip through blogging and spent time preparing older students who were potential Ashinaga candidates to study abroad.

The favorite part of Reese’s day was the 20 minute walk every morning and evening through the town from their hotel to the school.

Said Reese, “We got to take the same route and meet the same people, and it ended up feeling like we were getting into the rhythm of the community a little bit.” Of the school, she added, “Even now, I think of those kids everyday.”

Back in Poughkeepsie, memories of the Nansana and the Rainbow House stick with Howlett, too. “I came back from the trip feeling overwhelmed by all that I saw. When I got to my apartment and looked around I was like, ‘why do I have all this crap? I don’t need any of this,’” noted Howlett.

On Thursday September 5, Howlett met with her chorus groups and shared some of the pictures she had taken and told her students some of the things she had seen. It was her first rehearsal since she had left over half-a-year ago.

She said, “I’m always excited at the beginning of the year, but it was different last night. I guess I just felt so grateful to be back.”

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September 12, 2013

Advice for the budding senior cook Identity Events Spark L Discussion Jessica Tarantine

CoNtriButiNg editor

ORIENTATIION continued from page 1

agree on meals try finding one other member you can share the cooking with one or two nights. Overall, this will help ease the burden of cooking into much more manageable blocks.

8. Be careful not to injure yourself. This may sound obvious but getting a second degree burn from tossing a pepper into hot oil is fairly easy to do. And so is cutting yourself when chopping tomatoes.

9. Prepare the night before. To truly become a senior housing cooking master, you must forsake the Retreat as much as possible.

Try challenging yourself to bring meals from home by packing a lunch and munching on some homemade snacks. You can also get a jump start on the day by preparing breakfast and lunch the night before.

10. Stay motivated. The senior meal plan roughly works out to $10.50 a meal. With that much money you could easily cook a fantastic meal or go to Bacios. Moreover, cooking is life long skill which prove useful time and time again once you leave Vassar.

Spencer Davis/The Miscellany News

Veronica Peterson ’14 cooks in the kitchen of her South Commons apartment. Such attempts prove that, for those bold enough to try, dining out is not the only option for those living in senior housing.

Master Plan spurs summer renovations Josh Sherman opiNioNs editor

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hile some Vassar students spent their summers on all sorts of things from Netflix marathons to summer classes, the Department of Buildings and Grounds here at Vassar was hard at work implementing elements of the Vassar College Master Plan.

The Vassar College Master Plan, a document regularly updated by a number of committees including the Campus Master Planning Committee, is a set of guidelines, principles and goals set by the committee to advise the President of the College on what

projects to proceed with on campus. These projects include such as buildings to renovate, places for landscaping endeavors and investments for the College to make on-campus. As one would expect with a name like Buildings and Grounds, their department handles implementing the many construction, renovation and landscaping projects the Vassar College Master Plan advises on each year.

During the summer, two of the many projects that had taken place include both renovations to the library as well as changes the landscape around the College Center.

Joshua Sherman/The Miscellany News

that one may encounter while on campus.”

The new orientation activities were breaking ground for the College as they actually addressed some of the potentially forgotten parts of a person’s identity.

“I think the freshman really liked the identity aspects of it,” stated Strong student fellow Cari Goldfine ’16. “I personally was a little concerned to be doing the identity wheel on the second day of orientation—I felt like it might be hard for them to open up and share in a meaningful way with a group of almost strangers.”

But many student fellows said they were surprised to see how much their freshmen were willing to divulge about their feelings of identity and that the pre-event exercise appeared to help create an open environment and mindset for them which they could walk into the chapel .

“Viewing from the sidelines, I would say there is a certain level of comfort shown within most freshmen,” stated Jewett student fellow Priscilla Yevoo ’16. “They know their different identities and acknowledge their privileges; hence, they find comfort in knowing they won’t be judged or persecuted for being different since everyone in a way is different.”

These events have the potential to be a way to lay the groundwork for a safer and healthier campus life, especially in the wake of last year’s issues with hate incidents around campus.

The college also added the new event, “Who Is Vassar?”, which was structured as a panel discussion of alumnae/i discussing institutional memory and how one’s voice can be transformative for the conversations on campus. As a growing project, “Who Is Vassar?” multiple people have worked on the program throughout Vassar’s history but was changed this year with help from Giselle Sanchez-Huerta ’16 and Davison House Fellow Intern Alejandro McGhee ’16.

“The SOS theme was very important to me,” stated McGhee. “What I really care about is continuing to question who Vassar has in mind when it develops the orientation program that it does.

It will do well if it continues to listen to marginalized voices to fund orientation programs like ‘Who Is Vassar.’” McGhee alongside Sanchez-Huerta worked with many individuals on campus, including Associate Dean of the College for Campus Life and Diversity Pittman and Director for the Campus Life ALANA Center Luz Burgos-Lopez, to help revamp “Who Is Vassar?”

The project itself is a an example of what can come out of an open dialogue and ongoing conversations with members of the VC community, both past and present.

The college is set on finding ways to better address preconceived notions, stereotypes and racist ideas as early as possible. The new orientation events and talks were a way to head off these faulty thought processes before classes even began .“It is so important to address these issues early on in the college experience,” said McGhee. “Like many have been saying, people come to Vassar carrying a lot of ‘baggage’ from the outside. Maybe they will come here thinking a certain oppressive way of thinking is just and right when, in reality, it is not. Those types of thinking need to be challenged as soon as possible before social groups solidify.”

The college will continue to try to adjust and change freshman orientation from year to year in order to better accommodate each class and its students. “I believe that this programming should never be exactly the same year after year,” stated Hernandez. “With every incoming class, there are new perspectives and new identities entering our campus. With that in mind, the programming for orientation week should be constantly evolving and adapting to fit the needs of the students.”

While each year’s orientation continues to adapt to the class it serves , the Vassar community will continue to grow as a result of the college’s proactive approach dealing with identities of all types on campus. The long-term effects of each new orientation activity are unknown, but the revamping of certain orientation events shows an effort to help to create a safer and more conscious campus for every member of Vassar.

iving in senior housing can be hard. You have to change your own light bulbs, attempt to furnish space without anything upholstered and resist the urge to turn your SoCo porch into a rocking chair sanctuary.

While these challenges are substantial, perhaps nothing is as burdensome as cooking for yourself. Here are some tips for providing your own nourishment: 1. Invest in at least medium quality appliances and cookware. While the nine dollar toaster seems like a good at the time, in reality it will probably break or even cause a fire. Instead, consider what appliances you will need and what might make your life easier. For example, a rice cooker can take the guesswork out of cooking rice and save you time, while a cupcake maker,though flashy, may not be used very frequently. By purchasing appliances early you allow the greatest return to your investment.

2. Follow the sales. If you don’t have strong preferences in regard to what you eat, take advantages of sales which can both save you money and give you meal ideas. For example, a sale on egg noodles could lead you to make chicken soup. Stocking upon basics when on sale can also save you money in the long run, so keep an eye out for sales and coupons.

3. Start slowly and use a recipe if at all possible. For those without a great deal of experience with cooking, it’s best to start out with something easy; attempting elaborate dishes can leave you feeling hungry and frustrated. So it’s best to begin with a simple recipe that can have a lot of variations. For example, if you see a recipe for broth based soup, the skills you learn from making it can be useful in making other similar dishes. Once you get a feel for how one dish is made you can vary the recipe for what you like or what you have on hand.

4. Find recipes that you like and want to make. You could find a good cookbook from which to gain ideas or find recipes online. If you aren’t sure what you want to make, you could try finding a food blog that you like or surfing Pinterest. Pinterest is a great tool to keep track of recipes that you want to try all

in one place. Alternatively, you could have a family member email you some of your favorite recipes from home.

5. Learn from friends. Even if you have just taken up cooking, some of your house-mates and friends may have long illustrious cooking careers and be willing to help you learn how to cook. Said friends will be more than willing to assist if you are offering free food for their assistance. You could also offer to teach them how to make a dish that’s your specialty.

6. Cook in bulk on the weekends. By cooking a lot of food on the weekends and eating it throughout the week you save your time and yourself from eating pasta every night because you are in a rush. If you make more food than what you can eat over the course of the week freezing food can also be a great option. This will save you the trouble of altering recipes when cooking for one.

7. Coordinate with house-mates. While every house is different, you could try schemes such as having each person cook a different night. If not everyone in your house will

The former site of the College Center Chinese Magnolia, which the College cut down out of concerns for the safety of passing students. The space has now been filled with additional bike racks.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

In the library the staff offices received new carpeting and an entirely new classroom in the basement. The new classroom finished just this past week hopes to accommodate the needs of classes and students looking for additional space.

“Considering I didn’t know about it before it’s definitely good to know that it’s there and I will have to go check it out,” another student, Cady Cirbes ‘16, said after hearing about the creation of this new space.

Some of the many changes to Vassar’s landscape that took place this summer include a number of new plantings around the campus, as well as the removal of the large cucumber magnolia tree that once found itself by the College Center patio.

According to the Manager of Grounds, Kevin Mercer, many of the landscape changes such as the addition and removal of plantings on campus were elements of the Vassar College Master Plan being put into place. “What we do is follow Master Planning’s Guidelines,” Mercer said.

According to Mercer, Buildings & Grounds needed to remove the cucumber magnolia safety reasons. “It came down in July and it was very sad,” Mercer said. He added that they had two arborists inspect the tree to confirm the need for removal.

Despite the loss of the magnolia, Mercer reassured that Buildings & Grounds continues to invest in maintaining Vassar’s beautiful landscape. “B&G has spent a lot of money pruning and keeping the trees we have healthy,” he said.

Vassar continues to invest funds into developing the many spaces we use here on campus, and these are just a few of the many changes the campus experienced during the months between May and September.

September 12, 2013

OPINIONS

Page 9

THE MISCELLANY NEWS Staff Editorial

After financial aid, VC must provide more campus resources

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ith the end of the World Changing Campaign this past summer and the recent piece in The New York Times regarding the prevalence of students receiving Pell Grants at elite colleges and universities, the Editorial Board of The Miscellany News would like to take a moment to commend the College’s commitment to socioeconomic diversity, but caution that issues of class continue to persist both systemically in the world of higher education and here on Vassar’s campus.

We feel that it is important to ensure that the awareness of socioeconomic concerns that occurs during the admissions process is continued well after students first arrive on campus.

The World Changing Campaign that ended this July brought in over $41 million past the stated goal of $400 million. This sum includes $80.5 million for scholarships and financial aid. With the 2012-2013 Student Gift also going toward financial aid, students, faculty, administrators and alumni/ae have made a powerful statement of support for socioeconomic diversity—both symbolically and financially.

Indeed, with, according to The New York Times, 22 percent of students receiving Pell Grants, Vassar is considered to have a higher level of socioeconomic diversity when compared to its peer institutions. The move toward a Need-blind financial aid policy in 2007 has largely contributed to this diversity.

Yet, it is also important to recognize that despite these signs of socioeconomic diversity, economic inequality in America’s elite

colleges and universities persists, with those of the lowest socioeconomic status being less likely to attend college when compared to their peers with higher income backgrounds.

Moreover, those who do attend elite colleges are more likely to graduate with high levels of debt. With tuition rising rapidly, the situation is not improving, and a number of elite schools, such as Wesleyan University, have decided to scale back financial aid or switch to a need aware admissions policy. In light of this climate, the recent economic downturn and the endowment’s resulting losses, we applaud Vassar’s commitment to recruiting and admitting those students who deserve to be here regardless of their economic status.

Yet while this devotion to providing low income students with access to high quality education is laudable, it is also important to provide resources to low income students once they arrive on campus and throughout the entirety of their Vassar careers. As an Editorial Board, we feel that are several ways Vassar could provide more comprehensive resources for low-income students.

First, while Transitions, an early arrival program intended to provide low income and first-generation students with an introduction to college life, is an excellent step toward creating a socioeconomically accepting environment, the program’s placements are limited, and thus can be not granted to all students who would benefit. Extending the program throughout the academic year could also ben-

efit students by offering them ongoing support throughout their time at Vassar. Additionally, it is important to recognize that economic status can change over time, and students who may not have initially needed resources like Transitions, may need them later on in their Vassar career. Having a program like Transitions that would extend throughout the year would naturally remedy this.

Administrative departments like the Office of Campus Life and Diversity consistently emphasize the need to celebrate various aspects of student identity. However, while there are a significant number of resources available for students wishing to congregate around identity aspects such as religion and spirituality, race and sexual orientation and gender, there is an underrepresentation of support for students of lower socioeconomic status.

For this reason, The Miscellany News would like to reaffirm its support for a low income center as proposed by the Student Class Issue Alliance in the Fall of 2012. This would mean that, similar to the ALANA Center or LGBTQ Center, people who identify as having a low income background would have a safe space to discuss issues relating to their economic circumstances, and feel comfortable and supported by others members of the college. We also believe that no reductions to the budgets of the other identity-based centers should be lowered to finance such a critical endeavor.

In addition to providing social and emotional support, a permanent center for low-in-

come students could also provide resources to support students as they navigate financial aid applications as well as student employment paperwork. It could also entail a new section of the Office of Campus Life and Diversity to be opened, with an sector dedicated to class diversity. Much like race and gender, economic status affects students’ experiences at Vassar and having permanent resources will further Vassar’s goal of providing safe spaces for all of its students.

Additionally, we fully support the motion passed in the Vassar Student Association (VSA) to make VSA Executive Board positions a Student Employment position, allowing them to work a fixed number of hours on clerical work each week in exchange for pay. This would encourage the Student Employment Office to ensure that all students regardless of economic status have the opportunity to seek leadership positions on campus.

Vassar students constantly push for diversity among the VSA Executive Board, yet such a time-consuming position could deter students who rely on work study offset the cost of their education.

The Miscellany News feels that with these changes, Vassar will be making a large step towards inclusion of students with different socioeconomic backgrounds.

—The Staff Editorial represents the opinion of at least two-thirds of The Miscellany News 17 member Editorial Board.

Remnants of colonialism Concerns of last spring plague Chinese economy continue into September Heloise Mercier guest ColumNist

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ost countries in East Asia, especially those in Southeast Asia, were built from two forces: migration and colonialism. The former implied a large dispersion of citizens from Central Asia—mostly China—to emigrate to countries that seemed not only more politically liberal, but also growing more rapidly: Japan, Taiwan, and former British colony Hong-Kong.

But as the number of migrants escalated, the native populace relegated them to work the least gratifying jobs; merely viewed as sources of cheap labor. Colonialism reinforced this hierarchy established by migration. Even though European governments had the ability to conquer occidental territories, they weren’t ready to invest extensive manpower into such novel expeditions. Thus the colonists relied on the dynamic that was already in place, exercising authority through the local aristocracy who benefited from the increasing trade and using the cheap labor supplied by the impoverished migrants.

As the network strengthened, emigrants were trapped in their predicament of low-wage and undesirable jobs. Methods to increase their rank to match those of the natives were difficult. For instance, only if they had accomplished something out of the ordinary were they authorized to marry a local woman, which would elevate their status. It was a rare sight and any blatant aspiration to such a fate was seen as defiance.

Consequently, the Chinese had become the discrete inhabitants of the locals’ shadows. Colonial Southeast Asia’s history offers a perspective on China’s modern fate.

China, although known as the “Middle Kingdom”, is withdrawn from the West’s modern world of trade, and their lack of curiosity for surrounding countries has been brought about by the fate of the first Chinese Diasporas. As the Chinese migrants were stuck at the bottom of the food chain, they tended to deny themselves personal ambitions and pursue dynastic revival.

Conformity, righteousness, and reverence became core values for the Chinese as Confucianism became the cornerstone of traditional Chinese culture.

As a country, China had gained by practicing

introversion and focused on its internal problems. By doing this they found themselves turning their back to globalization. Over the years Confucianism gave way to Neo-Confucianism, which introduced the idea of renovation and modernization while still focusing on the self and a belief that society could only progress through self-improvement.

Although the values of traditional China diverge from those of the Western World, it offers an explanation to the actual cutback of China’s economic growth. While Japan and other East Asian countries sanctified new regimes in which tradition and renovation coexisted, China tirelessly sulked international trade. Japan, Taiwan and other Southeast Asian countries were introduced to the Western markets, which boosted their economy while China’s economic growth was created by interactions within the country itself; this explains its brevity and sudden stagnation.

As Chinese farmers realized they could make more money in the cities than in the countryside and the Chinese government realized they would be of more use in the metropolis, there was a large exodus of low-income Chinese laborers to the cities, which provided very cheap labor.

But now that China has squeezed everything it could out of capital expansion, it is time for them to move onto capital deepening before the only asset they have is manpower, with no scheme for it to be used on.

China’s current economic situation—their abundance of labor and shortage of long-term projects or booming market places—is partly explained by their self-created illusion that they need to shell themselves from the rest of the world.

In today’s globalized world, a country, even inhabited by 20 percent of the world population can’t prevent itself from interacting with others without shooting itself in the foot. China’s staggering economic growth is slowly dismantling its desire and illusion of self-sufficiency and causing the country to gain increased awareness of the progression of its South Asian’s neighbors, as Japan that has impressed them with its modernization.

—Heloise Mercier ’16 is a student at Vassar College.

Joshua Sherman

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opiNioNs editor

hether or not you can believe it, once again it’s September, once again we’re at Vassar, and once again it’s time to talk about the things that we’ll see making headlines this semester. By no means is this an expectation or prediction of the things that we’ll see come on (or off) the radar this semester. Instead, think of this as a piece that looks at some of the things that came up last year as concerns and will perhaps make a return this coming semester.

For one, it’s important to remember that as you’ve probably already seen (and heard) Vassar’s science buildings are undergoing a serious makeover. This makeover includes renovations to such buildings as Sanders Physics and Olmstead, and also includes the construction of our new Integrated Science Building, or “The Bridge,” as it’s been referred to since, after all, it is going to be a bridge. Both of these projects are going to offer immense amounts of resources to students pursuing the sciences here at Vassar, as well offer more spaces for not just departments, but also lab spaces and even organization spaces for students. I sincerely think these projects will all collectively offer much for the college to benefit when the project completes in 2016, assuming everything stays on schedule.

However, it’s worth noting that while we have seen much to gain from the renovation of many campus facilitations and construction of The Bridge, our long-term debt continues to rise and our endowment still stands on shaky ground in the wake from the recession.

While we are finally (as of this year) finally seeing our endowment return to a level that is higher than pre-recession levels, fiscally the college still is hard at work trying to maintain its status of need-blind admissions and need-based financial aid while still trying to bring much-needed improvements to the campus with respect to our facilities, residential spaces, campus grounds, and more.

Our Master Plans of course dictate all of these efforts and their on-going attempt to make a better campus, though this all continues to be a rather complicated can of worms that has indirectly affected those at Vassar

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

ranging from students to faculty and employees of the college alike. President Hill nonetheless certainly deserves commendation for continuing to maintain a Need-blind institution like Vassar, handing out more than $50 million a year in scholarships, grants, and other offers of financial aid. I’m excited to see what our incoming VP of Finance and Administration plans to help Vassar navigate as we hopefully take advantage of the opportunity to grow despite these past few years of hardship.

Socially, a lot of issues are likely to come in the coming months, though one worth noting that will return in the coming months is the concern of divestment. Divestment continues to be a hot topic among the students of many collegiate institutions including Vassar with respect to the Fossil Fuel Industry. One of the student organizations leading the divestment movement has been the Vassar Greens, who have been pushing for a sweeping end of investment in companies with connections to the Fossil Fuel Industry within the next four or five years. The Greens met with CIRC and had some discourse regarding this, though I hope the topic does not evaporate now that the summer has passed. Though the specifics of divestment are extremely complex, I sincerely hope discourse continues regarding this effort.

If you’re a freshman here, I sincerely hope you will enjoy your time here. All of these topics are things that may or may not matter to you, and all I can say is that I always hope for a resolution that most greatly benefits the students of Vassar College. Still, the only way to have a resolution that most greatly benefits us as students is to be active in the projects that matter to you, and to start getting involved early on. Whether it’s within a campus organization, community service group, the Vassar Student Association, or some other means, getting involved is the only way to assure the potential for our voices to be heard.

That all said, these are all very important issues and events that will likely (or have already) come back onto our radar as students.

I look forward to seeing how each one is addressed by the Vassar Community as a whole.

—Joshua Sherman ‘16 is an English Major.

OPINIONS

Page 10

September 12, 2013

True benefits of caffeinated life prove debatable Angela Della Croce

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opiNioNs editor

affeine: America’s elixir for the sleepyeyed, the grumpy, the coffee aficionados, the energy junkies, the stressed, or really just anyone trying to make it through the day. We see it as our savior on long nights of academic reading, a wake-up call after a sleepless Saturday night, the ONLY way to survive a whole day of work, and a staple in the day’s agenda.

Surely not everyone feels this favorably towards caffeine, but the vast majority of us do. In fact, a whopping 90% of North Americans consciously consume some source of caffeine every day. But when does the occasional pick-me-up become a full-on energy obsession?

Though there is certainly something sentimental about sipping a vanilla roast while reading a copy of the morning paper, we have become so accustomed to the intake of caffeine that it has become our crutch instead of our once-in-a-while aid.

We use coffee, tea, energy drinks, and so forth as a way to perpetuate the bad habits that have caused the need for caffeine in the first place.

Spent the day procrastinating? Don’t worry. You can drink an espresso and have all of your work done by 3 a.m. Unfortunately, you have a class at 9 and thus only got about 4 hours of sleep.

How will you possibly make it through your 3 classes today? 5-Hour Energy will do the trick.

In a mid-day slump? There’s a Starbucks latte with your name on it.

Instead of uprooting the source of the problem—whether it’s lack of sleep, poor time management, or a diet deprived of nu-

trients—we prefer an immediate, temporary fix that merely masks and reinforces the problem that is leaving us so lethargic or stressed.

For instance, an evening cup of coffee will take about 10 to 14 hours to leave your system, meaning you will likely lose necessary sleep. This leaves you fatigued for the next day, relying on caffeine to sustain your energy level, and thus a vicious cycle begins.

“But when does the occasional pick-meup become a full-on energy obsession?”

Dr. Jack James, Chief of the Journal of Caffeine Research, warns that the stimulant can be lethal and advocates for restrictions and regulations on it. Maybe he has a point. In 2012, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced that it is investigating 18 reported deaths potentially linked to Monster and 5-Hour Energy.

Of course, the research is fairly recent and there is much more we need to know about the substance. It seems that fair-to-moderate consumption of caffeine is not a death sentence; people would be dropping like flies.

Then again, there was a time when people were fed the idea that cigarettes were harmless or even good for you.

“We have become so accustomed to the intake of caffeine that it has become our crutch”

ANGELA DELLA CROCE ’15 As with any addictive substance, frequent consumption leads to a tolerance for the drug. And more studies are showing that too much caffeine can be unsettlingly dangerous.

According to the Mayo Clinic, drinking too much can lead to insomnia, muscle tremors, restlessness, accelerated heartbeat, anxiety, and excessive nervousness.

Alive.com highlights studies that show that caffeine consumption is related to “increased bladder and stomach cancers, elevated blood pressure, aggravated diabetes and damaged stomach lining” (Malkmus 2012).

The article goes on to say that, “Reports indicate that caffeine may be linked to male infertility as well as birth defects, and can even be passed through mother’s milk into the nursing child.”

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ANGELA DELLA CROCE ’15 Thus, the lack of knowledge about the long-term effects of the stimulant, coupled with our increasing use of it, is perhaps the most unsettling aspect about this caffeine craze.

Additionally, for the 90% of us, the daily dose of alertness can become rather costly.

Taking coffee as an example, if you were to buy a $1.50 12-ounce cup of coffee every day for a year, you would spend about $547.50 every year just on coffee!

Aja Saalfeld

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Advertise in print and online and take advantage of the new 70% student discount. misc@vassar.edu miscellanynews.com

—Angela Della Croce ’15 is an Economics major.

Queer on queer cruelties divide Vassar community feAtures editor

The Miscellany News

If you wanted to be a bit more economical and self-brew, a pound of coffee beans will make approximately 23 12-ounce cups. If the coffee beans cost about $15 and you drink it black every day, you’re dropping about $240 a year.

This seems much better than buying a cup of coffee, but this estimate does not consider the cost of the required equipment to make the coffee nor does it include the time cost and labor of actually making it (which for many of us busy bees is quite expensive).

And these are very conservative estimates that don’t include drinking more than one cup a day, sales tax, creamers, sugars, fancier coffee drinks, etc.; a realistic price estimate is probably much higher.

Yet despite the cost, the ambiguity around the drug, and it’s potentially harmful effects, most of us will continue to use and perhaps abuse caffeine for its short-term yet precious energy-boosting qualities.

But before you make your routine pit stop for your beloved Cup of Joe, consider the reason why you’re drinking coffee.

Was it due to lack of sleep or is it a social norm that you feel obligated to follow?

Instead of putting a Band-Aid on the reason, try solving the core problem or finding healthier, alternative ways to obtain energy, like regular exercise, prioritizing one’s day more efficiently to allow times for self-care, eating a diet filled with fruits and vegetables instead of simple carbs, etc.

As we’ve seen time and time again in various aspects of society, the fast fix is almost never the best fix—or even a desirable one at that.

have wanted to be a part of the Gays of Our Lives since I was a scared 17-year-old crammed into the crowded, overheated chapel with hundreds of my fellow freshmen to see what the queer community at Vassar was all about.

As a queer woman of color, I was pretty disappointed with my first experience with Gays of Our Lives.

Most of the contestants were white, everyone was cisgender and, with no people on the asexuality spectrum, I felt that it did not give a good representation of the wide diversity in the queer community. Because of this, I wanted to eventually join the panel to bring my own flavor of queerness to an incoming freshman class.

Fortunately, I got my wish, and had the opportunity to join the panel to present before the Class of 2017.

The event this year was so wildly improved from my freshman year that it is unfortunate that I was deeply disappointed with some aspects of the event.

I thoroughly enjoyed that they did away with the guessing game that previous panels had implemented at the end, and while I thought the diversity of sexuality and gender, along with race and politics, was fantastic, I was less than impressed with the so-called comedy performance that preceded the show.

Two white, cisgender women were the emcees for the event, which, in and of itself, is not necessarily a problem. It became a problem when they spent much of their stage time making essentialist, cissexist comments that had the potential to harm many members of the queer community.

In an event that is designed to challenge people’s perceptions about identity, casual transphobia has no place. Well, casual transphobia has no place anywhere, but in spaces where all queer people should feel safe and comfortable, it is particularly egregious.

Being funny should never come at the expense of other queer people. We should be presenting a place of safety and acceptance

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

to the freshmen and all those who attended, and making it clear that oppressive language is not acceptable here.

Especially now, when many of us have been fighting back against incidents of hate crimes on this very campus, we need to send a clear message that casual cruelty is not something that is going to be accepted or condoned without comment.

As emcees for any popular event, people need to understand that they are serving an important role in encouraging discourse, and when that discourse is offensive, it shows the audience that it is something that is tolerated here.

People should never be used as punchlines for any cruel jokes, and that is exactly what happened at this year’s Gays of Our Lives panel.

I do not want freshmen to have come out of that event missing the entire point of it; to rethink their perceptions and preconceived notions about people and their identities. While members of the panel did speak out against diverse forms of oppression, and were free to call out problematic questions from audience members, we were not given the opportunity to call out the emcees.

Either the setup needs to change, so that panelists and audience members will feel comfortable addressing oppressive comments from each other, the audience and the emcees, or the emcees must be vetted to ensure that their performances are not going to reinforce oppressive thinking.

Ultimately, however, I enjoyed my position as a panelist on Gays of Our Live, and I am incredibly grateful to the Queer Coalition of Vassar College executive board for giving me the opportunity to present my experience to the freshmen.

I do not fault the executive board in the least for the behavior of the emcees. Everything they chose to do rests with them, and it is important that the rest of us continue to strive to make Vassar a safe place for all members of our community.

—Aja Saalfeld ’15 is a German Studies major.

September 12, 2013

OPINIONS

Reflection, closure on Castro suicide Chris Gonzalez

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seNior editor

n Friday, September 6th, the interrogation tapes of Ariel Castro were obtained by NBC, which as of now has only been released to the public in portions in order to protect Amanda Berry, Georgina “Gina” DeJesus, and Michelle Knight. Three days prior to the release of the video—which details the abduction and acts committed against these women— Castro hung himself in his prison cell. In what should have been the conclusion to a case that has been more than ten years in the making, the video still remains.

Castro was arrested four months ago, on May 6th, as televisions across Northeast Ohio flashed with the breaking news that Berry, DeJesus and Knight were finally returning home. Everything happened so fast: News media from around the nation rushed to Seymour Avenue in Cleveland, Ohio. Charles Ramsey, the man who helped Amanda Berry break free from Castro’s house, became an instant Internet celebrity and local hero for Clevelanders.

Facebook and Twitter exploded with unanimous cries and a declaration that faith in humanity had finally been restored, while the entire city of Cleveland was finally able to let out a decade-long awaited sigh of relief. In a city as bleak and gray as “The 216” often is, it was nice to finally see the sun pierce through its despair and share some of its light and warmth.

And for the first time I actually wished I could be back in Cleveland, living this moment instead of trying to digest it all from behind my computer screen.

Truthfully, I had never heard of either Amanda Berry or Michelle Knight while growing up; however, the name Gina DeJesus had been a recurring image during my formative years. I was eleven when the fourteen-year-old Dejesus went missing, ripped away from her friends and family in April of 2004, and was well on my way out of fifth grade and into sixth. I remember her missing persons poster taped to the walls of my middle school’s dimly lit halls, and though I didn’t know her personally, I saw

kindness in her eyes and a love for laughter in her smile. She looks cool, I thought, happy.

I could never walk past her picture without giving it my attention, staring into those eyes and wondering what she was forced to see. How anyone could snatch up a child, hurt them, take them from the world they knew and offer one of darkness and evil in exchange, I will never know. But as one year morphed into the next and the number of posters and pictures became fewer, I stopped staring into those eyes. I stopped wondering. The fact that a child could be abducted ceased to shock or awe me; it is just a part of the world in which we live.

Still, every once and awhile I would see a poster stapled to a telephone pole or taped up in the entryway of a Wal-Mart, and the photograph fading from black and white to mostly white, so I could never truly forget who this Gina DeJesus girl was.

When the news broke that these three women were found at 2207 Seymour Avenue, roughly twelve blocks away from my childhood home, and the details of their time in captivity were released, I felt nine years younger.

Only this time, every question I ever had was answered. Castro’s House of Horrors, now demolished, stood about a block away from the middle school I attended in sixth grade. There he tortured, raped, and brutally traumatized these women; he committed acts that are much too heinous for my eleven-year-old mind to have fathomed. But at the age of twenty, I can’t help but still see the same Gina DeJesus from that picture, with her eyes and her smile, and I am disturbed that she had to experience any of it. None of them should have.

And now he’s dead.

Sentenced to life in prison without a chance of parole, plus an additional 1,000 years, Castro could not make it more than a month before he took his own life, a decision that has left many of us balling our fists in anger. Some twitterers and online commenters consider him a coward. One specific tweet I recall claims that he took his life in order to get to hell faster. But

we wanted him to experience at least a smidgen of the hell he forced upon these women, if not tenfold, not to find some cheap way out of his punishment. We wanted him to suffer. We wanted retribution.

But he robbed Berry, DeJesus, Knight, and us of that opportunity. At least that’s how I felt when I first heard the news. I’ve given it more thought since then. Considering that none of the three women have made a statement regarding Castro’s suicide, we have no idea how they are handling the news. We feel for them and want the best for them, but at the end of the day we can’t speak for them. Maybe they are as outraged as the majority is. Perhaps they are happy he is gone from this earth. We don’t know.

I’m reminded of the statement made on behalf of DeJesus during Castro’s sentencing: “Today is the last day we want to think or talk about this. These events will not own a place in our thoughts or our hearts. We will continue to live and love.” As much as we would like for the three survivors to stand up and give their opinion of Castro’s suicide, they are entitled to their silence. Moreover, they are entitled to live their life without having to comment anymore on this man, including his death.

And this is why the release of Castro’s interrogation irritates me. He’s gone, the women are free, and yet his voice is still a presence. In fact, the Los Angeles Times published an article titled “Interrogation video gives Ariel Castro a voice from beyond the grave.” We shouldn’t care about the sick details that took place, especially not from the mouth of Castro. Berry, DeJesus, Knight, their families and even Castro’s family should be able to move away from this event. We should focus on the feelings that occurred when the three women were finally found after so many years of being gone, a celebration of life and overcoming hell on earth.

As for the details and specifics of what Castro has done...those should be left with him in the ground.

—Chris Gonzalez ’15 is an English major.

Novel gadgets emerging on our wrists, but are the advancements worth it?

Lily Elbaum

guest ColumNist

T

his week at the IFA, one of the world’s largest consumer electronics shows held in Berlin, Samsung unveiled its latest device in an already-impressive arsenal of personal electronics: the Galaxy Gear Smartwatch. As far as a name goes, it’s flashy, it’s catchy, and it smacks of bragging rights. As for the product itself, those privileged enough to get a preview of it at the IFA were hesitantly optimistic and gave it a mostly positive review as far as being a new piece of technology and the first (mostly) of its kind. Though Apple reportedly has an “iWatch” in the works, Samsung is the first to create and manufacture a device which can truly be a called a “smartwatch.”

So what does the Gear do, exactly? I admit, the name is plenty captivating and calls to mind those devices seen in sci-fi movies which can do everything a smartphone can do and more. First off, by itself? Not much. The Galaxy Gear must be linked to an Android device to do most functions, including making or receiving calls and checking texts and emails. And it can’t be hooked to just any device. Right now, it will only work with the new Samsung Note 3 – which was also unveiled at the IFA. In the future it will likely work with other Android devices, but if you’re eager to get one right when it goes on sale, you’ll have to drop 199 dollars for the Note 3- a phone/tablet hybrid- and an additional $300 for the watch.

Three hundred dollars for a 1.6 inch, 2.6 ounce exceptionally fancy watch? No doubt there are luxury watches more than twice as expensive, but for the average consumer, the price tag will certainly be a deterrent when deciding whether the Galaxy Gear is worth owning. And yet, people have proven that they’re willing to spend copious amounts of money to have the latest thing. But will the Galaxy Gear

be a Vista or a Windows 7? It’s hard to tell. For one thing, I can’t imagine paying so much for a device that will most likely be rather difficult to navigate.

That was a consistent complaint listed among the various sources that reviewed the Galaxy Gear. The screen is absolutely minuscule compared to most smartphones, though not compared to regular watches obviously, and it will no doubt be difficult to navigate for those with bigger fingers. In a world where phones are getting larger and larger, what benefit is there in having a device the same size as the top halves your thumbs put together?

While the Gear advertises being able to easily slide between apps, as on a regular phone, how convenient is it if the apps are tiny? Checking my stock report (if I had one) would be rather difficult.

So, it’s small, it doesn’t do much when not connected to a phone- it can only run a few different apps that you can install while connected as well as take pictures that are temporarily saved until re-connected, it can only be connected to the Note 3 right now, and it’s expensive. In addition to all that, it has poor battery life. According to Samsung, the battery is expected to last no more than a day depending on usage before it has to be recharged. As the Forbes.com review pointed out, that means yet another charger that has to be carried around when traveling.

All that aside, it is supposed to allow for easier access of apps for those who need two hands to do their jobs- such as mechanics or construction workers who may need to access blueprints or schematics while working. But how does a screen so small allow for easy viewing? You would have to do an intense close-up of whatever you’re looking at to make it an even semi-viable option. Even if it eliminates the need to pull out your phone, which is one of the main selling points of the Gear, you still

have to hold your wrist still in order to read the watch.

Making and receiving calls would also be dilemma. Checking emails and texts would be fine, if cramped, but how does one go about making a call from a watch? From the various reviews, it appears as though every call would have to be on speakerphone, though no review specifically described how calls were conducted. Call quality aside – it was reviewed to pretty good for the size of the device – if it works as a regular phone does, you’d have to awkwardly hold your wrist to your ear in order to make calls, or otherwise make a call you don’t mind everyone around you hearing.

So is the Galaxy Gear Smartwatch a game-changing piece of technology? I think that depends a lot on how the general public responds after they go on sale. Will they sell out of stores? Or will people sort of look at them and wonder why they would actually need another piece of technology when they already have a laptop, a tablet, an e-reader and a smartphone? The Gear might be more viable once Samsung opens the technology up to being compatible with all Samsung phones, and hopefully with all Android devices.

As for how this represents the future of personal electronics? It’s hard to say. Phones may be getting bigger now, but with Google Glass and now the Smartwatch, perhaps an age of small hands-free personal electronics is just warming up.

One day in the not-so-distant future, perhaps we might all wear contact lenses that project information directly onto what we see – an idea which is not so different from what Google Glass is doing now. Electronics are constantly evolving; maybe the Galaxy Gear is just another step in the process.

—Lily Elbaum ’16 is a student at Vassar College.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Page 11

Word

on the street What did you forget to pack?

“Pretty much everything available at the college store” - Margo Mayer ’16

“My dawgs” -Aidan Kahn ’14

“I live close” -Alessio Caruso ’16

“Laptop, all toiletries ... my backpack” -Lindsay Charlop ’16

“iPhone charger” -John Donnolly ’14

“Lysol, air preshner, eating utensils.”

-Nnennia Mazagwu ’17

Jean-Luc Bouchard, Humor & Satire Editor Cassady Bergevin, Photo Editor

OPINIONS

Page 12

September 12, 2013

ENDA should not be ignored again by U.S. Senate Bethan Johnson Editor-in-Chief

A

fter nearly a month of recess, Congress returned to Washington and did what most people doubted was within their capacity: began discussing critical issues. In the aftermath of the deployment of chemical weapons in Syria, Congress and the White House have been frantically, and publicly, searching for the “correct” course of action. Meanwhile, newly released documents chronicling the National Security Agency and its domestic surveillance policies are fanning what had previously been considered the dying embers of the Edward Snowden and Bradley Manning stories. The GOP has even found the time to prepare an assault on the tax subsidies for qualified unions under the Affordable Care Act. As a person who slaved away in Washington for the last three months, I can safely say that Congress has returned from recess in a fighting form. However, it is what Congress has failed to recommit itself to after their vacation that seriously troubles me.

On June 26 of this year, politicians and pundits on both sides heralded the actions of the Supreme Court as a major change in America’s position on gay marriage. Upon hearing the news that the Defense of Marriage Act was repealed and that Proposition 8 was struck down to lower courts (thus allowing California Governor Jerry Brown to order the resumption of same-sex marriage ceremonies just days later), many LGBTQ advocates rejoiced for two important reasons.

One, because the decisions guaranteed that same-sex couples gained recognition on the federal level and received those benefits granted to same-sex couples. But more importantly, advocates saw the decision as an indicator that the social and governmental climate around issues of sexual orientation were shifting, thus leaving the possibility for even more profound changes in the future.

One of the critical pieces of legislation that had gained significant ground due to the head-

wind of the June 26th decision was the latest iteration of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). Presented this year on April 25 by Senator Jeff Merkley (D-OR) and Congressman Jared Polis (D-CO), the bills largely languished in their respective subcommittees.

Using past as prologue, few should be surprised that ENDA failed to be a priority for either subcommittee. The first attempt to pass a version of this bill was in 1994; attempts have been made in all but one term of Congress since then. It bares mention that no version of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act even made it to the floor of Congress until 2007, when the bill died in the Senate after receiving House approval.

Just as the Congresses rejecting the various versions of ENDA have changed, so too has the bill itself. Initially, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act mandated that no employer or potential employer may impose different standards or discriminate against an employee based on sexual orientation. It also prevented the adoption of a quota or preferential hiring system that dealt with sexual orientation. Exemptions to these regulations were made for religious and military institutions. The bill, like the all those proposed prior to 2009, made no mention of gender identity or perceived sexual orientation.

While the latest form of ENDA maintains the exemption of religiously affiliated groups based on Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, this bill shows the movement’s tremendous growth in purview. Now the bill would protect employees from discrimination based on perceived or actual sexual orientation and gender identity.

The bill would make it unlawful for employers of over 15 individuals to “fail or refuse to hire or to discharge any individual, or otherwise discriminate against any individual with respect to the compensation, terms, conditions, or privileges of employment of the individual because of such individual’s actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity.”

(Senate Bill S. 815) This draft of ENDA also makes significant strides in its discussion about individuals undergoing transition. The bill proposes that employers judge an employee’s dress and grooming standards applying to the gender that the employee associates with, has transitioned to, or is transitioning to, so long as the employee notifies their employer of said transition.

These two provisions, along with many others prohibiting quotas, would be enforced with the same weight as title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.With a more progressive bent and the full weight of history against it, there appeared to be little hope for the bill when it was originally introduced. However, within days of the Court’s decisions ENDA found itself with 53 cosponsors. Moreover, the Senate-side versions of the bill, S. 815, no longer languished within the confines of the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions.

After other drafts of the bill died in the same subcommittee year after year, on July 10, ENDA passed the committee and was officially referred to the Senate floor. The details of its passage require explanation, as they are extremely indicative of why Congress must act now to pass this legislation. The 2013 version of ENDA passed by a vote of 15-7, with bipartisan support; three of the supporting votes came from Republican committee members.

Not only has this version of ENDA received bipartisan support in the Senate Committee, according to polling it also popular support.

In a poll conducted by the Center for American Progress, 73 percent of Americans support protecting LGBTQ individuals from workplace discrimination, as well as 63 percent of small business owners. The poll suggests that 81 percent of Democrats, 66 percent of Republicans, and 74 percent of independents support workplace nondiscrimination laws that protect LGBTQ individuals.

The passage of The Employment Non-Discrimination Act would fundamentally change how members of the LGBTQ community are

The Miscellany Crossword

by Jack Mullan, Crossword Editor

ACROSS

48 Scythe carrier

26 “___ basket” (Score; 2

1 Game sometimes played

52 Off−the−wall

wds.)

with pinnies

53 Religious scroll

30 Nickname for a spouse,

10 Mrs. Perón

54 Subatomic particle

perhaps

15 Wachowski brothers’

56 Testing & Training

32 1960’s TV war drama,

trilogy

Int’l: Abbr.

with “The”

16 First name of a

57 Last Greek letter

33 Patrons

prominent Vassar alumna

58 Close buds

34 Orwell, Baldwin, and

17 “Lolita”’s Humbert

60 Chant from a Vassar

Klosterman, to name a

Humbert, for one

funk band?

few

18 Challah form

61 Aptly named,

36 Solid ground, in Stutt-

19 Common cancer type:

record−breaking

gart

Abbr.

Olympian

37 Lady of Spain

20 Dove bar

62 ___ this earth

39 Online felines?

21 Donizetti heroine

63 Jellyfish limbs

44 Common GOP posture

22 A game before extra

in

time

DOWN

re: Obama

24 Circular side?

1 Irish honoree

45 Marcus’ retail partner

27 Trotskyist politicalpar-

2 Subject with a periodic

46 “End of discussion!”

ty in Brazil

table of elements

48 D.C. neighb.

28 Broncos’ home

3 Memorable

49 Juliet’s beau

29 Have one’s cake and

4 “From my viewpoint,”

50 “___ my case!”

eat___

in web acronym

51 Myopic cartoon

31 Pitcher’s stat.

5 Google ___

character

32 Regional Centers of

6 Volcanic peak in Ore.

55 Grandmother,

Expertise: Abbr.

7 French satellite launcher

affectionately

35 Reached a high point

8 “Frasier” actress Peri

58 Director’s cry

38 Alfalfa, Spanky and

9 Computer file name

59 Combination following

other little ones

extension

the letter A

40 Prolific 21st−century

10 Cause to blush, maybe

classical composer Robert

11 “La Traviata” composer

41 Social−services org.

12 The Metro−North, e.g.

42 Enough, for Caesar

13 Fastening

43 Oscar winner O’Brien

14 Actors Robert and Alan

47 Texas Public Emploees

23 Pairs

Assn: Abbr.

25 Finito

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

included into the workforce, and, by extension, the overall workplace dynamic. Under current regulations, 29 states fail to protect workers from being fired based on their sexual orientation, while 34 states have no legal protections for transgender individuals in the workplace.

This bill has the potential to change the current employment opportunities of LGBTQ individuals, as well as set a more accepting precedent that future generation can expand upon.

Additionally, unlike those criticisms frequently focused on the campaigning for same-sex marriage legislation, ENDA has the potential to improve a more diverse group of people; instead of only helping those with the means and inclination to get married, ENDA seeks to improve the prospects and working conditions of all members of the LGBTQ community.

Ian Thompson, a member of the legislative team for the American Civil Liberties Union, told the Huffington Post, “Advocates have been working for nearly 40 years to pass these basic protections to ensure that all American workers, who stand side-by-side in the workplace and contribute with equal measure in their jobs, will stand on the same equal footing under the law.”

Based on all the evidence, it would seem that Congress would not forget the new ENDA when it returned to Washington after Labor Day, and yet it seems it has. The Senate vote on ENDA was tentatively set for early September, a time that is quickly passing Congress by.

While I acknowledge that the concerns about our national security and the tragic and senseless violence in Syria are important issues for Congress to deal with, the fate of The Employment Non-Discrimination Act of 2013 is also critical for our nation. Moreover, it is our job as citizens to ensure that this life-improving piece of legislation does not, after all of the momentum and history behind it, suffer the same crushing fate as its predecessors.

—Bethan Johnson ’15 is an English and History double major.

HUMOR & SATIRE

September 12, 2013

Page 13

OPINIONS

Breaking News From the desk Lily Doyle, Humor & Satire Editor Students battle complex feelings towards “actually really liking” Miley Cyrus’s new single “Wrecking Ball” Vassar College live RSS feed: TA housemates attempt to No parents, no rules edition bond through drinking, fail Joshua Multer

Lily Sloss

SEP 3rd 3:22pm - LITERALLY EVERYONE re-

guest columnist

W

hat follows is a text reproduction of the Misc’s Humor and Satire Live RSS feed of main events occurring on campus from the summer of 2013 up until date of current publication.

WHO KNOWS WHEN - Pathways leading to

Main Building and the THs put on their own Freshman 15, that tree that smelt of pubescence is GONE, transported to Mars maybe or some place that smells TOO GOOD and needs to be taken down a notch, and the knobby chunk of wood some term a “bridge” to the TAs is still there, bafflingly.

AUG 23rd 10:00am - Cappy pats herself on the back for inconspicuously resuming her presidential position from Body-Double/equally stylish male clone Jon Chenette.

AUG 23rd 10:03am - Chennette consequently

suffers a major crisis of identity; refuses to give up high heels; Cappy confusedly reports that she isn’t missing any heels.

AUG 24th 9:00am - Freshmen arrive on campus, blissfully unaware that donning a lanyard over their head marks them as adorable children to a bitter and jealous Senior humor writer for the Misc.

SEP 1st 9:00am - Everyone else arrives back on

campus; Seniors report feeling “all of the feels” and also “really sweaty and broke.”

SEP 1st 9:00pm - Parties happen the night

before the night before classes, Thunder and lightning occur simultaneously with the planned fireworks, some kid who loves counting the seconds between the flash and bang gets disproportionately upset.

SEP 2nd 4:00pm – I wait until now to take a shower because I’M AN ADULT I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. SEP 3rd 12:00pm - First day of classes, half of the upperclassmen lose all sense of dignity and pride when asked by random considerate Student Fellows if they need help finding a building.

ceives a package from Mom; the students working the now only semi-real post office consider murder as a viable option for the first time.

SEP 3rd all of this amazing, amazing day - ROSSI’S IS FINALLY OPEN, someone won’t drive their friend to get that good stuff and said friend attempts to cry over sandwich availability.

SEP 4th 4:03am - You post an instagram of a thing at some point, two people like it on Facebook including Aunt Judy, but let’s be honest no one really cares and Judy’s still on windows 98 anyway and her internet explorer 2.0 won’t let her see it, but she just wants you to know she loves you.

SEP 5th 6:59pm – GUYS the Registrar is STILL OPEN TODAY ONLY and they just need you to know this, okay? Say hello and ask them how they are doing, everyone’s so down-to-business all the time and they’re feeling a little down and no one has taken a Hershey’s Kiss from the bowl in like three hours.

SEP 8th 10:00am – Comedy auditions begin.

Only 3 people show up, causing existing group members tear their hair out and cry a little more than usual.

SEP 8th 3:30pm – A half hour before closing, THE ENTIRE FRESHMAN CLASS decides simultaneously to audition RIGHT NOW and NOT earlier. The existing members’ initial murmurs of joy turn once again to shrieks of despair, but they’re all bald now and there are no more tears.

SEP 8th 7:30pm – Call back deliberations are

concluded, some poor bastard faints because they didn’t anticipate not being able to break to eat for TEN HOURS what is this Yom Kippur?

(Spoiler Alert: no it’s not, that’s the next Sunday, challah back to my homies). Note: I am not in any comedy group I just empathize as a hobby. I AM Jewish though.

SEP 8th 11:37pm – I am typing these words

literally right now oh my god I think I’ve made a time loop this is too real someone stop my fingers why can’t I end this sentence ok and done.

Columnist

O

h, Senior Housing. It can go well, or horribly, horribly wrong, somewhat like trying to make a smoothie that includes vegetables.

I thought taking a “new friends” route would work out best for my senior year. I was warmly accepted into a Terrace Apartment by three girls who seemed far cooler than I ever have. I figured we would learn from each other. They would share tips on body suits and lipstick, and I would read them previews of my articles for The Misc. Seems like a fair trade, right?

However, this didn’t work out QUITE as I had planned, thanks to my Lathrop-baby pavlovian instincts involving alcohol.

It all started with that film Bridesmaids.

Ever heard of it? Don’t feel bad, it’s one of those cool, underground flicks I’m only privy to because of my status as a Film major. In said film, there is a scene on an airplane in which a blonde, maternal bridesmaid orders two “double 7&7’s” for herself and the prude sitting next to her. They then have “sophisticated adventures”. As a Senior, I’ve become more adult. I mix drinks, just like “grown-ups” do. No, I’ll pass on the Crystal Palace shots. Instead, to set a good impression on my “cooler” housemates, I suggested 7&7’s. Just to kick off Senior Year.

In case you’d like to make a similarly poor first impression on the Vassar student body, follow these steps. First, mix equal parts Seagram’s 7 Whiskey and 7-Up. Use Diet 7-Up if you want to cut calories, but then you must also accept that you are the worst. Step Two: As you continue to slam one 7&7 after another, comment loudly and frequently how you aren’t “even feeling it.”

Magnanimously accept the praise from your housemates. “Thanks, I guess I do have a pretty high tolerance.” When you wake up the next morning, alarmed by the state of your room, memory, and personal hygiene, the irony of this sentiment will slap you in the face.

My housemates self-proclaimed towards that that they don’t “drink that much?” I found this preposterous. “So you use a chaser?” No, they mean they don’t take shots, period. IT’S SENIOR YEAR, I exclaimed. If you can’t enjoy it now, when will you? Possibly never, because shots are an “acquired taste”, but you’ll never

know until you aggressively try! They acquiesced to my forced 7&7’s, and after an hour of giddy, premature housemate love, we “turnt” up at the TH’s.

I love, love, LOVE senior student reunions.

They are the most gratuitous interactions ever.

Oh, are you that guy who made out with with my housemate in the Mug that one time? Maybe! It’s hard to say, but I would like to talk to you for an hour and a half about how we should be best friends. Is that one of the VRDT girls you met in the bathroom at the Mykki Blanco show? WHY YES IT IS OHMYGOD HEY. The first Sunday night back at Vassar is a blur of one conversation like this after another. Let me tell you, younger Vassar loves, do not pass this evening up. It is an evening of many hats. No, literally. I wore two different hats. At one point, I was wearing another boy’s shower shoes and a stranger’s Batman hat.

I woke up the following morning feeling a trifle hung-over, crawled up the stairs, and mainlined coffee. While massaging my forehead and determining whether eating leftover sausage was a dangerous or fantastic idea, one of my housemates emerged from her room - looking as bulldozed as I did - and I immediately grew fearful. I was expecting the worst, and I knew I deserved it, something along the lines of: “Lily, I feel like death. Why did you force us to drink three mixed drinks? And then chase those drinks with shots? Why are you wearing shower shoes?”. Instead, she said thoughtfully, “I’m never having a 7&7 again.” Ah, thank the lord. Yes, the drink was to blame for the wild evening, not the mixologist who thinks that if you can mask one shot with 7-Up, you can certainly mask three (guilty as charged).

I felt invigorated. Things had gone smashingly with the new housemates! Senior Year would be “low-key” and not “ugly.”* I had a new hat, a pair of men’s shoes, and a new best friend from the Frisbee team. In fact, I was so overcome by sentimentality, that I became physically ill. SENIOR YEAR: no parents, no rules. Side note: if I hugged you repeatedly on Sunday night, and even if I didn’t, feel free to say “what’s up” in public. *My housemates have already introduced me to a lot of cool slang. Am I “getting it?”

Less clear.

Losing my VCard: An oddly impersonal retrospective

by Lily Doyle, Humor & Satire Editor

I

headed into senior year pretty positive that the learning part of being a college student was over. Not the book learning part, the part where you get into a routine and know where offices are. The part where you know stuff.

At least, that’s what my Mom kept telling me.

Then, within the first 48 hours of being on campus, I was informed that the post office closes at 4:30, not 5, which explains why I thought they ALWAYS closed early, and I had to look at a map of Sander’s Classroom because where on earth is Room 117!?

I don’t even have my drinking rules down.

Thanks to the school provided “Party Class” - a class where you see how many tequila suicides you can do before you pass out (footnote: tequila suicides involve snorting salt and squeezing a lime into your eye, it’s like an extreme sport for masochists). Just kidding. It’s where they tell you that for every 30 beers you have you also have to have an ENTIRE LOAF OF BREAD pre-made into peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Because who doesn’t want to

nom on an elementary school lunchtime staple while they are out on a Saturday night, making intense eye contact with the person across the room and hoping that they “get it”. And by “get it”, I mean get that you’re mad the sandwiches are cut horizontally.

Along with not knowing all of the above, turns out I also am still incapable of remembering my VCard. I lose (or, to avoid the virginity jokes, “forget”) my VCard like 15 times a year on average. I probably find it again 13 of these times, and the other two I am left paying the College the somewhat absurd fee of 25 dollars to get my piece of plastic back.

I usually wait about a week before going to pay the fee, which is a week of me climbing through the window right next to the back door of Cushing which for two years I made sure was always left slightly open for that purpose.

Things got trickier in Jewett my junior year, probably because it’s “new-ish” and therefore has things like “windows that close”. Whatever.

I adapted by spending at least 15 hours of my

life sitting in the little room between the two entrance doors waiting for someone to come swipe me in after giving me a slightly suspicious “are you actually a Vassar Student what if I let you in and you rob everyone” look.

Now that I am a senior, I don’t need a VCard to get into my house, but I still need it to 1) buy food, 2) do laundry, and 3) get into the gym.

None of these are really that important except for the “buying food” part because it turns out I can’t cook for myself and I keep eating beef jerky for lunch, which is causing my doctor to have MSG related stress dreams. Laundry is irrelevant for at least another week, and I will continue to annoy the crap out of the gym workers by knocking on the glass door and trying to look my best like a sad puppy so they let me in, then sprinting by them without making any more eye contact so I don’t get asked for my card.

This could all be pretty easily solved if I would just go to the Card Office for the bajillion-th time, suck it up, order a new card, and

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

pay the 25 dollars. However, I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’m already giving them my summer wages, which, granted, was like 5 dollars, but still, I could have bought a meal with those 5 bucks that wouldn’t turn me into a large salt lick. That fee is STRAIGHT PROFIT for Vassar College. The card takes like three seconds to make. By “like” I mean exactly 3.18 seconds because I timed it on my phone the last time I got a new one.

I alone have probably given Vassar enough money for my flimsy pieces of plastic that Vassar could buy its own set of science textbooks!

I would absolutely protest the 25 dollar fee, if I wasn’t aware that there is no one to blame but myself for the fact that I seem to throw my VCards about as if they were dolla dolla bills and I was an affluent rapper.

All the same, I probably won’t go get a new one anytime soon, because I want that money for my next party so that I can make an appropriate amount of sandwiches.

Cut correctly.

ARTS

Page 14

September 12, 2013

Vassar perennial Sophistafunk still ‘hip,’ soulful Emma Daniels reporter

V

Hudson Valley

Daniel Bogran

Elysium Neill Blomkamp TriStar Pictures

Bradford Graves Sculpture Park Through October 31 Route 209, Kerhonkson Perfect for those interested in sculpture, displaying over 200 of Graves’ works.

Free admission, by appointment.

Unison Arts Center Through October 27 68 Mountain Rest Road, New Paltz, N.Y. “The Five: Contemporary Art from Japan” features works by artists Akifumi Tanaka, Hisako Noto among others.

Taste Budd’s Cafe Through September 30 40 W. Market St., Red Hook, N.Y. Check out work by Phyllis Hjorth.

—Jack Owen, Arts Editor

R&B and rap,” she said.

ViCE Jazz Night assures that Sophistafunk will be a fun, upbeat way to start the Thursday night series off. Gold stated, “We are hot off our UK tour and bringing back that wacky British vibe. Most importantly we are about to release a new EP, Freedom Is, so we are playing a handful of brand new songs off the new record and even some other new ones not yet recorded.”

He added, “We are so excited to be back and to share our new experiences through our art form. Prepare yourselves for a new chapter of heavier and funkier grooves and more powerful, conscious lyrics than ever before!”

Sophistafunk, a musical trio endorsed by Food Network star Guy Fieri, combines the sounds of funk and soul. Lately the group has been performing at high-profile venues across the globe.

Elysium’s miraculous Med-Bay could not cure woes of cliché action, plotlines guest ColumNist

Olana State Historic Site Through October 5720 Route 9G, Hudson, N.Y. Make the trip to scenic Hudson to see the exhibit “Maine Sublime: Frederic Edwin Church’s Landscapes of Mount Desert and Mount Katahdin.”

Hours: Tues.-Sun., and holidays Mon., 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Special gallery only tours, Sat. 11 a.m. - 4 p.m.

jazz series. Everyone was dancing all over the place, and they wanted to come back because Vassar was such a good audience,” added Juliette Boberg ’16, head of ViCE jazz this year.

ViCE jazz is known for bringing experimental and energetic bands like Sophistafunk to Vassar. “We make sure to bring talented bands that put on a super fun show,” Boberg explained.

Boberg also noted that this year the ViCE contingent is hoping to expand its repertoire.

“We are still bringing back bands that came last year, but also want to branch out and feature classical jazz bands, alternative rock bands,

courtesy of Sophistifunk

iCE Jazz Night is carrying on its tradition of bringing funky, high-energy bands to make Thursdays a little more danceable. This Thursday at 9:00 p.m. in the Mug, Sophistafunk will kick off the student-led group’s semester line-up. The group is an analog soul trio featuring Jack Brown on vocals; Adam Gold on keys, bass, and vocals; and Emanuel Washington on drums.

Jessica Novak, in a Syracuse New Times review (5.15.13), discussed Sophistafunk’s vibe and sound. “The three click together like a well-oiled sound machine. The set is different every night, but always seamless. The songs take little twists and turns that I hear more with each variation, but they never lose their energy or appeal,” wrote Novak (5.15.13).

“And they may be only three guys, but I never find myself wishing for more musically.

Whenever someone asks how tired I am of the same songs night after night, I tell them that that’s how I know this band is great: because I never get tired of the Sophistafunk sound. It’s funk and soul with lyrics that have meaning that gets deeper and messages that get clearer with every listen,” Novak wrote (5.15.13).

Sophistafunk also boasts an unusual celebrity endorsement: Guy Fieri, host of the Food Network show Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.

Band member Adam Gold’s Syracuse, NYbased restaurant and music venue, Funk n’ Waffles, was featured on the series’ December 25, 2012 episode.

Gold said, “When we are home in Syracuse we fuel up on Chicken ‘n Waffles and Jive Turkeys. Most recently Adam’s waffle restaurant helped us get to know Guy Fieri and we have since performed for him at his own birthday party!”

The Food Network host liked the band and the waffles so much that Sophistafunk has not only played at Fieri’s birthday party in Santa Rosa, CA., but was also the first band to play at the International Home and Housewares Convention in Chicago, IL., at Fieri’s personal request.

As Fieri drove away from Syracuse, a mere hour after filming the show, he listened to the band’s album. And he not only enjoyed the band’s music, but one of Sophistafunk’s songs struck an emotional chord with him—a song about sending someone off into the afterlife on a dragonfly. “Dragonfly” was the nickname Fieri had for his sister, who had recently passed away from cancer.

According to Gold, Fieri told the band: “You guys are blowing my mind. I love this music.”

International tours, high-profile venues, and famous foodies aside, something about Vassar keeps the band coming back yearly. And Fieri is not the only one excited about Sophistafunk.

ViCE Jazz member Owen Harrang ’16 is excited for the performance. “The band is super chill,” said Harrang. “They’re pretty hip 30 year olds.”

The band has been together for six years, and collaborated live with everyone from Bernie Worrell of Parliament and Talking Heads, to Nikki Glaspie, who has worked with Beyoncé and Dumpstafunk. They have performed at high-profile venues including The Blue Note Jazz Club (NYC), The Boom Boom Room (San Francisco), The Belly Up (Aspen), Brooklyn Bowl (NYC) and more. And in August 2013, Sophistafunk traveled to the United Kingdom to tour.

“We have a great time at Vassar every time,” Gold exclaimed. “Y’all have great taste in music and a great vibe and the dance parties are always energizing.”

“Last year they were a favorite of the ViCE

E

lysium, the new science fiction film by Neill Blomkamp is an altogether dreary affair. Though the film initially appears promising, it doesn’t take long before the visual serenity and grade-A special effects wear off and we are brought to the disconcerting realization that the film we are about to devote two hours of our time to will more than likely be a giant waste of time.

The year is 2154 and the world has been divided between two classes of people: the very wealthy and the poor. The wealthy live in Elysium, a luxurious dream world of a space station. Meanwhile, the poor live on earth, which has become an overpopulated and overall dismal place to reside.

The central action centers around Max (Matt Damon), a former car thief who works in an assembly line for a big corporation.

When an accident at the plant occurs, Max is exposed to a lethal dose of radiation which gives him mere days to live.

That is unless, as is explained in an incredibly clumsy fashion in the following scene, he can get to Elysium and hook himself up to a medical device called a Med-Bay, which evidently cures you from any and all disease.

There is also a side story involving Max’s childhood friend Frey, whose daughter has leukemia and also needs to be transported to Elysium.

Max’s relationship with Frey is left largely unclear; we aren’t really sure if the two are merely friends or perhaps more. But Blomkamp doesn’t really seem to have much interest in this and we, by extension, don’t either.

Dismissing the silly all-rich-people-areevil-all-poor-people-are-good morality the

movie seems to flirt with (it’s insulting to any semi-intelligent person on any side of the political spectrum), the film simply suffers from not being very good.

Hitting every single character cliché and moral convention with lightning speed, Blomkamp seems estranged from anything remotely resembling ingenuity; he makes a movie that feels like it’s a movie.

Things start going poorly in the movie the second the audience begins to see the blueprint it was created from. The film lacks the subtle nuances necessary for greatness.

“Blomkamp seems estranged from anything remotely resembling ingenuity” DANIEL BOGRAN ’14 A worthwhile endeavor for Blomkamp would be to get a dictionary, look up what the word “subtext” means and study it.

There is a scene at the beginning of the movie in which some people on Earth attempt to “cross the border” and get into Elysium.

Gee, I wonder what the filmmaker is attempting to articulate with this scene. The script also has poor dialogue. Blomkamp, along with James Cameron for that matter, seriously needs to learn that adding profanity here and there doesn’t suddenly make your writing any less bad.

Matt Damon is flat, though we aren’t given the impression that he’s had much to work with. And then there’s Jodie Foster, who gives perhaps the worst performance of her career.

A good idea for a drinking game would be to watch Elysium with friends and take a shot every time that Jodie Foster is awful.

After a while, you and your friends will be-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

gin to wonder whether the puking is being induced by the alcohol or her performance.

At times, Elysium is a very good-looking film and the special effects are great. But who can talk about special effects for more than a couple of sentences? Blomkamp does utilize hand-held techniques well at times and his vision of the future is somewhat unique—though not more unique than, say, Fritz Lang’s vision or Ridely Scott’s for that matter.

Yet his technique is flawed. He relies far too heavily on flashbacks, which, when not handled properly, often just seem like an easy-way-out kind of film making. To top it all off, the film is poorly edited and constructed. The scenes don’t flow; it’s like a Dadaist experiment, only it is not very interesting.

As evidenced by the plethora of superhero and sci-fi films created within the last 10 years, films are getting younger. And they are giving youth a horrible name. As opposed to infecting us with the sense of curiosity, wonder, and wild passions youth inspires, several are taking these things and torturing the juices out of them until they become sterilized conventions devoid of any and all sincerity.

In a world bred on pop imagery and advertising, we are starved of anything which is remotely authentic. Today’s films are almost always being made by filmmakers who know films but, evidently, don’t know much of anything else.

The end result is nearly always the same; despite the set-pieces, despite the effects, despite the craft, they end up with dead movies.

Elysium is mindless entertainment alright— only it isn’t even entertaining. Movies like Elysium should be taken as insults to audiences everywhere. But people keep eating them up.

The factories that make mass-produced garbage on a daily basis also make movies.

Mistaking Pop-Tarts for steak, audiences ultimately don’t seem to mind; they’ve had their fill.

September 12, 2013

ARTS

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Bamford’s comedy defies cultural taboos Egan to speak on challenges of authorship Steven Williams seNior editor

Down the Rabbit Hole Juan Pablo Villalobos FSG Originals

W

ith the comedy of Maria Bamford, it is easy to be lured into thinking that her frenetic ramblings and constant use of different voices would lead her comedy into more style than substance. But between her harried breaths lies an evocative narrative, drawn from the depths of her personal life. Her newest album, Ask Me About My New God, is representative of Bamford’s variety of comedy, but dives deep into largely uncharted comedic territory.

Ask Me About My New God and Bamford’s comedy in general is unconventional to say the least. She is constantly swaying between voices, and her impressions are so masterful that hearing her natural speaking voice, a mousy squeak, is surprising. The album itself is broken into 33 tracks, an absurd amount of mostly small musings, appropriate for her comedic style. With such constantly changing subjects, it is hard to keep up a listener, at times, but once adjusted, one becomes used to the way it flows. However, sometimes her material is simply too nonsensical. I am remiss to say that sometimes I was, quite simply, lost. Furthermore, she occasionally depends too much on her use of voices than on material. But these situations are infrequent enough that it does not detract from the overall quality of the album.

Appreciating Bamford’s comedy is about lis-

tening beyond the frenzy for real insight into her crazy, often dark, depictions of her life and beliefs. One of the best lines in the show is about her discussions with her family about religion. Her mother and sister each have their fairly common views. Bamford chimes in with her succinct opinion. “I believe that it’s all a cognitive distortion made to help compartmentalize chaos,” she says. “Anyways it’s going to be a great Christmas” And, as the title of the album suggests, there is more commentary on God. Her analogy for what religion feels like to her (which gives the audience great insight into her own personal psyche) draws similarities between it and feeling the comfort of seeing “the glowing logo of an international conglomerate” after being stuck in a scary, foreign place. Bamford is utterly unafraid to deal with religion in her comedy.

Bamford often airs out feelings about her family, relationships and neighborhood, and the way in which she does so makes it feel remarkably relateable. She never sugarcoats the realities of her life. As I mentioned she has a complex relationship with her family, and isn’t successful developing relationships. In addition, her romantic life is in shambles. And on her track “Terrible Relationships”, she reveals a big theme of the album, that one of her most difficult relationships is with herself. She means this in a metaphorical sense, but it soon becomes clear that she also deals with it on a clinical level.

The most commendable aspect of Ask Me About My New God is the series of segments that Bamford does on her dealings with mental illness. Bamford notes that she has Bipolar II, and not as one radio DJ suggested after not quite understanding her comedy, schizophre-

nia. “Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices,” she says. She even deals with the issue of suicide. On her track “Poor Logic” she considers the dark issue of being caught up in suicidal thoughts. Despite the seriousness of the issues she discusses, as a comedian she keeps it remarkably light. “If you’re ever thinking ‘I’m a waste of space and a burden,’ remember that also describes the Grand Canyon,” she says. “‘Oh, but I owe a bunch of people money and everybody hates me.’ Hello Europe....

You’re not alone.”

Overall Bamford’s comedy is considerably unlike any other comedian’s out there. Her style is difficult to pinpoint. She doesn’t rely on telling jokes in the classical setup-punchline sense, but she also doesn’t fall back too heavily on sheer story-telling. She will even throw in an anti-joke here and there, such as on her track “Healthy Substitutions.” It’s hard to track down. However, the mix works. But I won’t lie and say that I enjoyed every part of Ask Me About My New God. After all, it is hard to follow sometimes, and some jokes fall flat. Still, there is enough classically funny material to make it worth casually listening too. But where the album succeeds and transcends other comedy is her readiness to talk about deep, personal issues.

Mental illness and suicide are often taboo in everyday talk, let alone on a mainstream comedy album. And for that, Ask Me About My New God is worth listening to, regardless of you are a fan of Bamford’s comedic style.

And if you’re new to Bamford’s hectic meanderings, embrace the sheer chaos of it all. Don’t let the many voices fool you, Bamford delivers a strong message, unmitigated by her comedic idiosyncrasies.

Multi-talented Stotler continues tradition Martha Lino

guest reporter

B

gether, making music with others and being a community leader, all came together in choral conducting in an amazing way. It seemed like the perfect thing for me to do. I’ve been working towards that goal ever since,” said Stotler.

After Stotler graduates, she plans on applying for a Fulbright fellowship to study choral conducting in Estonia, a place where the choral tradition thrives.

However, Stotler is adamant about never forgetting the place where she first learned to love music. She is interested in becoming a minister in her Episcopal church, while also engaging in her music. “To me, being a choral conductor is just like being a minister, except that it is in a musical context. You get to create a beautiful experience with others through music,” she stated. Stotler appreciates the many mentors in her life: from her parents and her church’s choir director, to Drew Minter, her voice teacher here at Vassar.

In the future, she hopes to share with others what they have all collectively taught her: to pursue a passion courageously. “I think it takes courage to pursue what you love, and I want more people to have that courage,” she said.

Spencer Davis/The Miscellany News

efore performing fiddle music in front of a large audience, Hallie Stotler ’14 goes through a mental process in which she reminds herself of why music is so important in the world. She reminds herself that music is a gift and that it has the power to bring people together, inspiring their lives. Stotler’s experiences have reaffirmed that belief. Growing up in a family of artists— her mother is a professional folk singer and her father is a writer— Stotler learned to take risks, pave her own unique path, and pursue what she loves.

A music major with a religion correlate, Stotler is passionate about her love for music. She participates in three choirs on campus: Madrigal Singers, Vassar College Women’s Chorus and the Camerata Ensemble. She served as the Choir Librarian for the Vassar College Women’s Chorus last year, and this year she serves as the Choir Conductor for the Camerata, a student-run ensemble. During her sophomore year, she taught a “mini-course” on Irish fiddle to her peers as part of the VSA programming in the spring. She also immersed herself in other extracurricular activities by serving as a writing tutor, helping to write a Merely Players performance called “Merely Bitches” and participating in a 24-hour theater ensemble on campus.

“Music, for me, is an ever-present part of my life,” she remarked. Growing up, Stotler often traveled with her mother on tours, experiencing historical folk music and understanding the life of a musician. When she was only three years old, Stotler joined her church’s choir, and when she was seven years old she began taking piano lessons.

In middle school, she decided to learn how to play the violin, and in high school she took Irish fiddle lessons for several years. “My self-defining moment where I really envisioned myself doing music professionally was when I went to fiddle camp… it was a week of traditional New England fiddle music and country dancing, and I was suddenly around all these people who were just like me or just how I wanted to be. It was a creative and inspiring environment,” she recalled. During her freshman year, Stotler continued to branch out with her music and take advantage of the musical opportunities that she found at Vassar.

“When I arrived at Vassar, I wasn’t sure if

I could be a music major or if I wanted to be a music major because it was such a Western classical department, and I thought I was not experienced enough. I didn’t know enough to be a part of that, but as soon as I got here it became clear to me that all I wanted to do all the time was music, and I jumped into it blindly,” she said. Although Stotler was intent on pursing classical music at Vassar since, like Irish fiddle music, it uses the violin, a physical injury during the end of her freshman year forced her to question her life’s musical direction.

“Imagine the one thing you want to be doing all the time gets taken away,” she stated. Unable to play an instrument and needing a musical outlet, Stotler decided to take voice lessons— a decision that helped her to ultimately refocus her future musical goals.

Over the summer, Stotler attended a Baroque opera workshop in Queens, N.Y. She also attended Westminster Choir College in Princeton, N.J. to study choral conducting for a week. There, she became interested in pursuing choral conducting as a career. “It hit me one day that all of these things that I love and enjoy doing, like bringing people to-

Students enjoy the music of Hallie Stotler and company. Stotler, a trained fiddler, also takes part in three of Vassar’s choirs. She began singing at Vassar after an injury prevented her from fiddling.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

EGAN continued from page 1

Her talk, titled “The Sausage Factory: Making Fiction out of Instincts, Hunches, and Glaring Mistakes,” will discuss the writing process, and she will also meet the next day with students in senior composition. “[The Starr Lecture] is supposed to focus on writing, so writers don’t just come and talk about their writing; they talk about the writing process, and that’s why it’s linked to the freshmen seminar program,” explained Zlotnick.

In their statement of academic interests, every freshmen was required to reflect and write on a passage or passages of their choice from the novel.

In addition, during orientation the English department held a presentation on the novel that was attended by prospective English majors.

This presentation and the reflection are some of the few ways that students engage with the novel, as professors have historically struggled to incorporate the common reading into the freshman writing seminars.

Zlotnick explained that the faculty decided on A Visit from the Goon Squad because of its inventive narrative structure and genre-bending nature. “It’s really interesting narratively,” she said. “It almost feels like a short story collection, but it’s together all these different chapters. So it’s a group of characters that are related—a linked series of stories,” she furthered.

Egan has stated that the book deals with time, and that by focusing on the music industry, which has struggled among the vast technological changes of the modern era, one can analyze time because of the industry’s difficulty and because of the timelessness of songs themselves.

“I think for one thing, all of us remember those teenage years and those songs that we fell in love with and the music scene that we were part of, so in a certain way music cuts through time like almost nothing else,” Egan said in an interview with the Public Broadcasting Station’s NewsHour (7.1.10).

“It makes us feel like we’re back in an earlier moment. And then I think on the other side, the music industry is an interesting lens through which to look at change, because it has had such a difficult time adjusting to the digital age,” she further explained. (7.1.10).

Egan’s A Visit From the Goon Squad focuses on Bennie Salazar, a burnt out, older rock music executive, his personal assistant Sasha and other friends. The short stories detail struggles with addiction, aging and redemption.

Though the book is generally described as a novel, some may describe it as a series of short stories that are linked together through common characters and themes.

And Egan further distinguishes the narrative structure of the novel through non-linear composition. The stories jump across various time periods and settings—one chapter may be during the 1970s, while another is in present day or a few years in the future. Egan also includes a chapter that is in the format of a PowerPoint presentation.

Egan explained to PBS NewsHour how she developed the narrative structure of the novel. “Well, I had the thought of just going backwards, because initially as I was writing these chapters I was moving backwards, but then I found that the power, the whole didn’t seem to be greater than some of the parts when I followed that backwards format,” she said (PBS NewsHour, 7.1.10).

She continued, “I think what I was most interested in were the moments of surprise when we realized that time has passed. You know, it’s moving slowly and incrementally, but we only notice it in sudden quantum leaps where we think, ahh, this has changed.” (PBS NewsHour, 7.1.10).

For English majors and any students interested in writing, Egan will further illuminate her unconventional writing process—typified by “instincts, hunches, and glaring mistakes”— during the Starr Lecture.

ARTS

Page 16

September 12, 2013

VC students explore realities of film-making over summer Margaret Yap

T

reporter

Spencer Davis/The Miscellany News

he independent drama Desires tells the story of Kate, a young, budding photographer, who is in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend and roommate, the preppy and timid Tim. Unsatisfied, she enters into an affair with their other roommate, the freewheeling and hedonistic Vivian.

The drama follows five young adults over a relatively protracted period of time.

“Desires has a kind of sexual libertine quality to it. In many ways it’s about Kate’s journey from someone who is more timid about her desires and how she copes with relationships, and she discovers what she wants out of life and how to assert that,” said director and screenwriter Adam Buchsbaum.

The film focuses on female sexuality in particular, a theme that the group felt was especially complex. “Adam has a particular style and an interest in gender roles and breaking them,” explained wardrobe and set designer Marlena Crowell ’14. “This girl thinks she has an idea of what she wants, but instead she ends up changing. He’s really interested in how things shift,” she added.

On choosing a female protagonist, Buchsbaum said, “I think it makes the sexual journey more interesting, because it’s not as meaningful a progression for a man to become sexually liberated, since our society is more stigmatized to female sexuality than male sexuality.”

“There’s not much for Tim to rake through, but there’s a lot for Kate to face. Implicitly, part of her nervousness is because she’s a woman,” he added.

Unlike Kate, Tim approaches relationship in a more conventional way. “Tim is more traditional,” explained Buchsbaum. “He’s for a longterm relationship; he wants to marry Kate. Vivian, on the flip side, is almost the opposite of Tim. She’s open and doesn’t have any particular expectations of fidelity in a relationship. In a way, they’re two opposing choices for Kate.

When Kate leaves Tim for Vivian, she’s playing with the other side of the scale.”

Buchsbaum came up with the idea for the

Vassar students, including writer and director Adam Buchsbaum ’14, produced a short film, Desires, over the summer. They hope that the sexually charged drama will screen well at Vassar and festivals. film at the beginning of summer and spent around two months writing it, encountering many challenges along the way.

“It went through many revisions; nobody should ever read the first draft of the screenplay,” he said. Titling his piece became an exploration as well.

Buchsbaum played with a few title options, but ultimately settled on Desires. “The original title was Ménage à Deux,” he stated, “but the problem with that title is that it’s alienating. It takes too long to figure out what it’s about. With a good title, you should be able to tell pretty quickly what the film is going to be about.”

Logistical issues presented themselves throughout the production as well. “If I could do it again I would staple the shot list and script to my chest,” said Buchsbaum, “because I kept losing them. It was a very fun but exhausting process.”

Since the film takes place over a period of six months, technicalities complicated the lives of the set designers as well. The film was shot on location in Los Angeles in only two days after an equally short rehearsal period.

Prior to shooting, the team had only a few weeks to work hard raising money with an Indiegogo campaign they created so they could get some of the extra film equipment and have a budget for set design, costumes, makeup and more.

“It was hard because we were all wearing a lot of hats,” said Wendel Smith ’14, the film’s producer and cinematographer and one of the camera operators.

“Every single scene, we had to change the makeup, and that’s probably what made our shoot so long.”

Crowell agrees on the difficulties of the logistics. “If I wasn’t dealing with the actors, I’d have to set the scenes,” she said. “I would allow

the actors to make some choices they thought were appropriate for their characters, which helped me, since I was so spread between all these different projects. But we finished it on time. I was proud that we were able to get it all done.”

Despite its time restraints, Crowell and Smith believe that the film, which is branded under Smith’s production company Five Way Media, will turn out well. The team was proud to reach a higher level of production.

“It’s probably one of the most professional things I’ve done,” said Smith. “That was probably the coolest aspect, that as a student film we were able to raise the stakes in terms of production value.”

Crowell found that he enjoyed working with his friends, though the work was compressed into just two days.

“It was a lot for two days, but I thought it turned out great,” said Crowell. “I liked working with my friends the most and I learned a lot.”

For Buchsbaum, the production was rewarding as well. “One of the things I liked the most was seeing my words come alive,” Buchsbaum specified.

“You try to make it flow and be as true to life as possible, but you don’t really know until the actors read the script. There’s a certain childish excitement at hearing someone say your words.”

“I really loved working with such a great crew,” he continued. “It was a lot of fun and a lot of team bonding. We were all working together to create something we believed in. Because that’s the thing— whenever you’re making a movie, you don’t want anyone on the crew who doesn’t want to do it. Because then you’re only going to get half their energy and passion,” he added.

The short film, which will run somewhere between 16 and 20 minutes, has not been fully edited as of yet. The tentative release date is some time in October. The team is hoping to enter the film in a festival afterward the release and to screen it informally at the College as well.

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MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

ARTS

September 12, 2013

Page 17

The World’s End maintains character Excuse me, development amidst apocalyptic setting Max Rook ColumNist

The World’s End Edgar Wright Universal Pictures

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his summer’s action blockbusters have all relied heavily on the cinematic appeal of blowing things up. Big budget action flicks usually have their fair share of destruction, but this year in particular it seemed like every summer weekend our movie theaters have been filled with an endless stream of debris.

Even some of the stronger blockbusters, like Pacific Rim or the sadly under-appreciated White House Down, succeeded not because they avoided the clichés of devastating set-pieces, but because they inserted a heavy dose of humor to offer some variety. Coming at the end of the summer, The World’s End is an antidote to this problem, an action movie that emphasizes characters and relationships over explosions.

To be fair, it has its own modest set of explosions, but the film’s creators know that action is more satisfying when the audience is emotionally invested in the outcome, rather than when they are simply expected to marvel at the spectacle on screen. Spectacle is only effective when it is unique.

The World’s End is the final film in the loosely-connected “Blood and Cornetto Trilogy,” so named for its focus on comedic violence and a running joke featuring a British ice cream snack.

Like the previous movies in the series, 2004’s Shaun of the Dead and 2007’s Hot Fuzz, this film is written by Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg, and directed by Wright. It stars Pegg and Nick Frost. Each film in the trilogy has offered these three men the chance to explore and update one of their favorite genres

Campus Canvas

of film: in Shaun of the Dead, it was the zombie flick; in Hot Fuzz, it was action movies; and with The World’s End they turn to science fiction. More specifically, the film follows in the tradition of social sci-fi, films like Invasion of the Body-Snatchers or the more recent District 9, which use highly metaphorical sci-fi conceits to provide commentary on contemporary society.

The film begins by introducing us to Garry King, played by Pegg, a man who has never been able to move past his teenage years. The plot is kicked off by his attempt to reunite his old university friends, including Frost as now-successful businessman Andy, for a reenactment of their last pub-crawl.

For the first third of the running time, that is the entire scope of the film. The supernatural element does not pop up until the end of the first act, so that the film can take its time introducing and getting to know these characters.

It’s a premise that could have devolved into clichéd humor about trying to relive your youth, but the script avoids that problem by making it eminently clear that King is the only person in the group actually interested in the nostalgic trip; everyone else is just happy for an excuse to catch up.

These characters aren’t superheroes or action stars, they’re all fairly normal, and, as such, their relationships ring true. Old grudges push past the initial awkward politeness, and we gradually learn how each character has been shaped by their time together, especially since not everyone had such a grand time as King seems to have.

Because the film takes its time grounding those characters in reality, when the supernatural side of the story appears, the audience actually cares about what happens to them.

Discovering the exact nature of the invading force is part of the movie’s fun, so I won’t go into too much detail, but I will say it ties elegantly into the film’s main theme of the

corrosive influence of nostalgia. King idealizes his youth, and the movie doesn’t take the easy way out and reveal that he’s only remembering the best parts, and blocking out the negative side.

As far as we can tell, his youth actually was just as fun as he remembers. His constant attempts to recreate his memories are the true problem. For a group of filmmakers best known for creating homages to the movies they loved in their youth, that’s a remarkably self-aware theme, and that emotional honesty gives the film the underpinning it needs to succeed.

Of course, in addition to that emotional and thematic strength, the film is also uproariously funny. Pegg and Frost swap their typical roles as reticent and loud characters to excellent results, and the supporting cast is filled with veterans of British comedy.

Wright continues to find new and engaging ways to stage action, and his kinetic style keeps the film’s pace moving at an entertaining speed.

One of the few major problems with the film is the lack of a female voice. Rosamund Pike has a perfunctory role as a character’s love interest, but she isn’t given much to do.

Happily, the film doesn’t fall into the trap of making her slower to adapt to the introduction of a supernatural element, as Shaun of the Dead did, which shows some development.

In fact, the filmmakers has stated in interviews that they intend to continue working together, just not in the structure required by this trilogy of using genre films as a lens to explore male friendships.

Hopefully, in the future, they could invite a female voice into the creative process, as they did on their sitcom Spaced, which was written by Pegg and co-star Jessica Stevenson. Despite that flaw, The World’s End is still an enjoyable experience, a film that knows it does not have to sacrifice its characters in order to be an entertaining action movie.

A weekly space highlighting the creative pursuits of student-artists

What was the last song you had on repeat?

“Georgia On My Mind” by Django Reinhert -Sarah King ’16

“I Will Always Love You”

by Whitney Houston -Nick Vargas ’16

“Nefertiti” by Miles Davis -Harris Gurny ‘17

submit to misc@vassar.edu

“Next to Me”

by Emeli Sande -Lettie Harley ’14

“Blood on the Leaves” by Kanye West -Flora Collins ’16

Last fall I studied abroad in Copenhagen, Denmark and had the opportunity to explore photography, a huge hobby of mine, in a more professional context. As part of a photojournalism course that I took at the Danish Institute, we had to befriend a random Dane, figure out something interesting about their life related to Danish culture and then make a three-picture photo essay about this topic.

My Dane was a Korean-born adoptee by the name of Michael Penderson. Michael was both Korean-born and gay, making him extremely different from the homogeneous population of Copenhagen. By exploring his Asian heritage

and his homosexuality, I decided to focus on the work he did for an organization called SABAAH which helped homeless, foreign, gay youth find shelter and work in Copenhagen.

This photograph was taken at his office in the Østerbro neighborhood of Copenhagen right before he was to meet with a 16-year old who had just immigrated to the city and was homeless.

—Alex Schlesinger ’14

“Radio” by Lana del Rey -Casey Hancock ’15

Jack Owen, Arts Editor Spencer Davis, Photo Editor

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

SPORTS

Page 18

September 12, 2013

Pittsburgh Hero to some fans, Johnny Football lacks guaranteed maturity off field, should focus on growth winning year J Eli J. Vargas I Columnist

Zach Rippe Columnist

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hen one hears the words “Pittsburgh” and “Pirates” together, the last thing that they think about is winning. Throughout our lifetime, the Pirates have never even been associated with being mediocre, let alone good. Then, suddenly, two seasons ago, the Bucs did something quite odd. They started to win. At the All-Star break, they were actually in first place. Sadly, this dream did not last much longer as they quickly collapsed and lost their 82nd game on September 14, 2011, ensuring another losing season. No matter. When 2012 hit, the Pirates were ready. They had just signed pitcher AJ Burnett to bolster their rotation and their staff was as determined as ever. As of August 8 that year, they were 6347, proving to many doubters that they were not simply a fluke. This was the Pirates’ year. Except it wasn’t. They finished the season out 16-36 and ensured their 19th consecutive losing season.

You know things are going bad for your team when you celebrate being above .500 at the AllStar break like you just won the World Series.

Meanwhile, Yankees fans think it’s a terrible year if they don’t make it out of the first round of the playoffs. Nevertheless, the Pittsburgh Pirates organization gained some momentum as it seemingly thought, “hey, if we can put together a winning team for two thirds of a season, we must be doing something right.” The front office brought in Russell Martin, a former All-Star and much needed defensive upgrade behind the plate. They made some moves in the bullpen as well and hoped that the signing of former Minnesota Twins pitcher Francisco Liriano would pay off. The Pirates then began 2013 the same way they began the previous two years: they were winning. And strangely enough, they haven’t stopped. At least not yet…

On September 3, the Pirates won their 81st game. That is the longest current streak of losing seasons in not just the MLB, but also the NFL, NBA and NHL. It is one thing to go without winning a championship or even making the playoffs for a while, but living your entire life as a fan of a team and never once experiencing a feeling of hope is another. Hope for Pirates fans has been transformed into simply winning more than 80 games rather than trying to compete for a playoff spot. A professor approached my friend last weekend and asked if he was a true fan or if he was just “jumping on the bandwagon.” My friend was taken aback to the point where he smiled and said, “I don’t know what to say…There’s never even been a bandwagon to jump on.” Going on the basis of the few Pirates fans I know, I would say that they are much like how Colorado Rockies fans were during the 2007 World Series. In other words, they are just happy to be there.

The Pirates are currently locked in a battle for first place with the pesky and always competitive St. Louis Cardinals. Even after losing Albert Pujols, the Cardinals seem to find a way to win year after year (unlike the Pirates). But Pittsburgh and its front office knows that this is probably the year. After all, the odds of a winning season, let alone a playoff birth, in the last 20 years have just not been too spectacular. So, team executives have made their fair share of deals. They traded for Mets’ outfielder Marlon Byrd to provide some late season pop. Eight games in, Byrd was hitting .387 with a home run and eight runs batted in, a quite respectable rate of production.

Now the roster is set to do battle. The pitching has been good, the offense has been bolstered and the Pirates have a certain aura of confidence about them. After their huge series with the Cardinals, the Pirates have many challenges ahead of them in September. They will have to face off against a tough Rangers team before battling the third place, and highly competitive, Cincinnati Reds six times. While they do get breaks in between to face the Cubs and Padres (two notso-great squads), this final month will test the Pirates’ will. After 20 years of being some of the biggest losers in the game, the baseball gods should be on their side in 2013. And if they do make the playoffs, well then it all comes down to who gets hot. But hey, if there ever was a bandwagon to hop on, this is it.

ohnny Manziel, now commonly known by the registered trademark “Johnny Football,” debuted as a redshirt freshman for the Texas A&M Aggies football team last year. Manziel looked to be just another talented dual-threat quarterback, but he became so much more than that. Manziel became the face of Texas football for many, during a season in which he became the first freshman to surpass 3,000 passing yards and 1,000 rushing yards in a season, a feat which only five other players have accomplished in NCAA history. He also led the Texas A&M Aggies to a shocking 2924 upset of number one Alabama in Tuscaloosa. In two other games he had over 557 and 576 total yards of offense, breaking the single game record, and finishing as the first player in NCAA history to accomplish that mark.

After becoming the first freshman to win the Heisman Trophy Award, an award given to the most outstanding college football player, on December 8, Johnny Manziel topped off a historic year with a win over Oklahoma in the 2013 Cotton Bowl Classic.

After Manziel’s fantastic freshman year, many football analysts began to wonder if Johnny Football would experience the socalled “sophomore slump,” as teams began to figure him out. But as the offseason ensued, it seemed that it wouldn’t be opposing coaches who contributed to a potential sophomore slump, but Manziel himself. It would seem that Johnny Football would want to keep a lower profile after having so much exposure from winning such a prestigious award. But alas, this does not seem to be the case. Over the offseason, Johnny Football was seen at numerous sporting and entertainment venues, and many people began to wonder how a broke college student would be able to afford all of this grandeur. Then came his random-

ly defensive tweets on Twitter, in which he became irate over certain unknown events for no apparent reason. This, along with numerous other events at volunteer camps and school parties, began to make the once positive supporters of Manziel grow skeptical of this much ballyhooed 20-year-old football player.

What ultimately made the skeptics become believers in Manziel’s immaturity were reports that Manziel reportedly signed thousands of pieces of memorabilia for money, which, under the current NCAA rules, results in penalties. This landed Manziel with a six hour interview with NCAA investigators and a half-game suspension, which many people believed to be too light of a penalty.

All opinions aside on whether this is right or wrong, Johnny Manziel (assuming that he did in fact do this—which most believe that he did) should know better than to think he is immune to NCAA penalties. Johnny Manziel must honestly believe that star status is a shield from what normal NCAA athletes have to deal with.

As a typical college student who hasn’t achieved star status by any means, I am not angered by Johnny Manziel’s actions, but saddened. I am saddened by the fact that seemingly nobody in the Texas A&M program has come to Manziel to help him behave more appropriately, and instead let him make a fool of himself, like many 20-year-olds would have done if in the same position. I am also saddened that, as a 20 year-old, he has not been seen as a young college student by the media, but as someone who should be exploited and whose faults should be displayed to the whole world.

I believe that people in the media should be understanding, giving players at least a few months of privacy to let them become accustomed to the lifestyle and expectations

of the newly famous. How is someone, much less a 20-year-old who has never held a serious job, expected to know how to conduct himself when everyone is giving him anything he wants, nobody seems to be helping him with his newfound fame, and the media is supporting his failure by reporting on his every mistake?

This is what happens in the world of sports media and it is something that negatively affects sports as a whole. Why is it that positive things are not reported about a player, and instead it is the negative? We need to remember that these athletes are people as well, and not just some character in a soap opera.

I would like to hear about the positive things that people are doing in life, rather than the negative.

I know that would not be the proper thing to do either, because then an illusion of these people as perfect humans might be created— and athletes are far from perfect, just like the rest of us. But it is ultimately my desire that both the negative and positive of on-thefield and off-the-field be reported, because it is exasperating to see how Alex Rodriguez’s steroid scandal is being reported more often than any exciting playoff chase that is happening in baseball or any random acts of kindness committed by players.

I am a man of positivity, and to me this negative stream of news that the media is feeding people is what ultimately ruins the world of professional sports. I become less of a sports fan.

With all of his prowess on the football field, Johnny Manziel is a hero to some people. But that is exactly what he is not. He is only a 20-year-old football player, who by his actions shows that he is exactly that. He is an exceptional football player who has immaturity issues, but nothing more. Everyone is flawed in some way.

Criminal conduct reveals the pitfalls of professional athlete glorification Luka Ladan

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Assistant Sports Editor

or the lovers of Boston sports, it has largely been a summer to forget. Fans of the Boston Celtics and New England Patriots have been exposed to depressing news atop of depressing news, ranging from nagging injuries to the departures of Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett and the void left by Wes Welker’s move to the Mile High. The shroud of invincibility that once encircled the Tom Brady-Bill Belichick duo has floundered, while the culture of grit and toughness once on display at the TD Garden has now completely faded from view.

The Patriots won’t be as mighty, while the Celtics will hardly be relevant.

But nothing trumps the behavioral issues that have plagued too many a Boston-based professional athlete in recent months. Jared Sullinger, a promising young power forward, faces assault and battery charges. Alfonzo Dennard, a promising young cornerback, was arrested in July for drinking and driving while on probation. And then there was Aaron Hernandez, the promising tight end who is now linked to multiple murders (and apparent drug abuse).

Three big-name players have gone from youths with sparkling on-the-field potential to youths with serious off-the-field dilemmas.

Sullinger was supposed to be a high-character individual with a boyish demeanor, much more likely to watch cartoons than threaten his girlfriend. Dennard’s legal problems were supposed to be behind him, somewhere in the rear view. Hernandez was supposed to be a talented pass-catcher with some swagger and a unique chip on his shoulder, nothing more.

And then the summer of 2013 happened.

From promise to prison, or something like that.

I guess that in anything there’s a lesson to be learned, even if the circumstances are far

from optimal. Sure, it shows once again that nobody’s too famous, wealthy, or powerful to fail. Anyone can fall, even if he’s one of the most explosive offensive talents in the National Football League. If he’s up really high, then the fall just takes that much longer. We love searching for the “rags to riches” storylines, while “riches to rags” is just as real and far more chilling.

But, my takeaway is this: the cases of Sullinger, Dennard and Hernandez should be wake-up calls to all of those youths who idolize the professional athlete because of his physical ability and idealize his character solely because he’s in the public eye. The failings of those three should open the eyes of the young sports fan, who consumes the athlete’s positive qualities and ignores the rest.

Athletes, like everybody else, are far from perfect. Very far. Some of them are farther than others, and I’m not saying that every single athlete is just another Aaron Hernandez or Jared Sullinger – most are law-abiding citizens with few character flaws.

I’m just pointing out that athletes, and professional sports in general, blind us from the uglier things. Aaron Hernandez was brilliant in the open field; he was talented not because Tom Brady made him that way (even though it doesn’t hurt to have him throwing you the ball), but because yards after catch came like second nature to him. He would catch the ball near the line of scrimmage with seemingly very few options, but a juke here and a spin there would propel him to a big gain.

From almost nothing to a whole lot of something. Tricky maneuvers earned him five extra yards, ten yards, twenty yards.

And not only was Hernandez brilliant at picking up additional yardage, but Bostonians loved him for it—I certainly perked up whenever he caught the ball with a little bit of space to do his thing. My high school friends marveled at Hernandez’s quick cuts,

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

good hands and high-spirited touchdown celebrations. Athletes like that don’t come around very often. The gracefulness of their movements makes them seem like deities on the playing field—they’re larger than life, majestic, heroic­—and we’re blessed to watch them in their element. So, we forget about the demons that evade our line of sight. The troubles that haunt them aren’t visible to us on a Sunday afternoon in Gillette Stadium. Aaron Hernandez is a disturbed human being, filled with insecurities and plagued by vice—we knew that three years ago, before this summer. But I didn’t pay attention to that. We didn’t care because the touchdowns trumped all. Athletes, and sports, blind us.

His time in court—along with Sullinger’s and Dennard’s—should be a time of enlightenment, when all of those young (and even older) sports fans who revered the majestic athlete are now exposed to the lowly criminal. Again, by no means are the aforementioned three representative of professional sports as a whole, but that does not mean that there isn’t a lesson to be learned. We should strive for more by looking elsewhere for role models. Charles Barkley came across abrasively when he contested his status as a role model for the younger generations, but he is right in a way and his words still ring true. The professional athlete is too flawed and too prone to failure. Sometimes, the circumstances are the downfall; other times, it’s something from within.

There are much better alternatives out there. The Martin Luther Kings of the world, the Mother Teresas and the Mahatma Gandhis. Sometimes, even our own parents—they teach us and they love us, and we would be wiser to listen to them. Let the football players break free and score touchdowns. Let the basketball players run, jump and shoot. Let them stick to that stuff, while we watch and then go back to our lives.

September 12, 2013

SPORTS

Page 19

In the Pink program helps Field Hockey embraces students stay fit, stress-free new Head Coach Warari Chris Brown and Tina Caso Sports Editors

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hen students come to a prestigious college such as Vassar, there is a tendency to put fitness on the back burner. However, Vassar College has an program set in place to help keep Vassar students active and healthy. In the Pink, created by Roman Czula, is a program dedicated to emphasize the importance of health and fitness in our daily lives. From classes to fitness consultations, In the Pink is an invaluable resource for every Vassar student.

Roman Czula describes In the Pink as a life fitness program. “The goal of the In the Pink Life Fitness program is to make it as easy as possible for everyone in the community to get involved in some physical activity and to try activities that they have never experienced before,” explained Czula in an emailed statement.

“No one questions the value of physical activity or stress relief in our lives.”

Senior Jenny Leung has been largely involved with In the Pink fitness classes for all of her four years here at Vassar. She has utilized Ani Kunga’s meditation course, along with courses in yoga, tai chi and self defense. Leung, who mostly participates in study break classes, which are offered during midterms and finals week, wrote in an emailed statement that, “the study break classes are great, because not only are there plenty to choose from, but the classes are also a healthy way to take a fresh break from the long hours of the library and be in a different, stress-free atmosphere.”

One of the most prominent features of the program is the amount of classes offered. Activities range from yoga to kick boxing to Zumba, and are offered at all different times during the week. In total, there are around 100 hours a

week of fitness classes. “It is a matter of finding the best program for each of us and making the time in our hectic schedules,” described Czula. “I want to get everyone to the point where missing that workout or yoga or meditation is more painful than actually doing it.”

Junior Emily Blustein recently started taking a Pilates class put on by In the Pink. “I’ve never taken Pilates before, so I was pretty nervous that I wasn’t going to be able to do it, but it was a great class,” Blustein expressed. “I’m going to continue with this In the Pink class because I felt like I got a really great workout.”

Cassandra Currie, who has been a yoga trainer for five years at Vassar, teaches one of the many classes offered. She is a strong proponent of the program. “I believe the benefits of the Life Fitness classes are truly far-reaching,” Currie wrote. “All of the classes offered provide students, faculty, the Vassar community, as well as the surrounding community an opportunity to engage in a wide range of physical activities.”

In the Pink is a program unique to Vassar that effectively promotes physical and emotional health for students with a lot of stress and a full schedule. “Just the fact that Vassar has these fitness classes available from morning to night is comforting to delirious students who have been drowning in papers and exams,” Leung explained. “I like to think that my college cares about me and wants me to stay sane.”

Czula, who has dedicated a lot of time to In the Pink, wants all Vassar students to experience what the program has to offer. “I would like everyone to know that they can try any of our offerings with no obligation to continue,” Czula wrote. “But the operative notion here is that everyone try at least one or our many classes.”

WARARI continued from page 1

coach was the biggest draw,” he explained in an emailed statement. “Vassar being such a prominent academic institution was a plus.”

However, Warari did have to overcome one very important obstacle in order to make the journey to Upstate New York. “My lovely wife Emily had to approve the move in order it for it to happen,” wrote Warari.

Although new to the team, Warari already has the ambition to reinvent the program and establish a winning culture. “I hope to continue building on the program’s growing success, while making it competitive in the conference,” he stated. “Above all, I want to build a team that represents a strong sense of community, care and discipline on and off the field.” Consistency, according to Warari, is key to the team’s success. “Being consistent at practices, individual meetings, games, etc. is the best way to reach and pursue those ‘so-called’ goals,” Warari emphasized, understanding that performance cannot fluctuate from day to day.

Vassar’s newest head coach claims to enjoy a lot of this current team’s characteristics, but is most impressed by the combination of talent and unselfishness that the players seem to have. “I couldn’t have asked for a better group of women to work with and to be around on and off the field,” Warari added. “They are intelligent, smart, competitive and also very caring towards one another, they truly are making each other better and leaving a good impression on our coaching staff.”

While Warari holds his players in high esteem, the players also return the favor. Senior co-captain Catherine Fiore is very optimistic about her new coach’s positive effect on the

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team. “I believe that [Warari]’s mindset and his fresh approach to the game will bring our team to new heights,” wrote Fiore in an emailed statement. “I am so excited and prepared for the upcoming season, and have never been more challenged to bring everything I have when I step on the field at every practice.

I feel like a new stronger team, as many of our players are becoming so much better with the individualistic approach he and our assistant coach give to them at every practice.”

Senior player Elisabeth Raskopf echoed her captain’s sentiments. “Coach Warari has brought an entirely new attitude to the Vassar College Field Hockey program,” she said.

“He has high expectations for us, but he also has the skills and knowledge to instill in us a winning strategy.”

Warari’s experience has proven to be invaluable during the early games for this season. The team pulled off a win against Keystone College 7-1 on Aug 30, while also edging out Manhattanville College during the Betty Richey Tournament held on Vassar’s campus from Sept. 6-7; Vassar won 2-1 in overtime.

Sophomore player Bianca Zarrella claimed to have learned a lot in the short time she has worked with Warari. “His main motto revolves around discipline and holding ourselves as well as teammates accountable,” Zarrella explained. “He’s taught me that no matter what you should always strive to become better, and you should never be complacent. He also says that by striving to be a better player, whether it’s by making sure your passes are on target or you shots on goal, you make your team as a whole better. His positive and encouraging mentality will help us win games for sure.”

SPORTS

Page 20

September 12, 2013

Wiechert’s hat trick earns Liberty League accolades Tina Caso

sports editor

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back four—all three goals were scored this way against New Paltz.”

In the team’s second game of the season vs.

Western Connecticut College, Wiechert had two goals. Sophomore defender Nick Hess assisted his first goal, and Wiechert scored again to finish the game 4-0. In Sunday’s game vs.

Ursinus College, Wiechert had one goal for the Brewers. Wiechert currently stands in first place for points for the 2013 season with 10.

As for the rest of this season, Wiechert is optimistic. “[Wiechert] has the ability to be the best forward in the league this year,” wrote Jennings. “If he continues to play within himself and with the team, he will achieve that goal.”

Junior forward Tom Wiechert is a force on the Men’s Soccer team with five goals. He recently scored a hat trick in the season opener vs. SUNY New Paltz to bring the Brewers to 3-1 win over the Hawks.

VC sports boast early season victories Amreen Bhasin and Luka Ladan

reporter ANd AssistANt sports editor

M

en’s Cross Country

The Vassar College Men’s Cross Country team began their season on Saturday, August 30 at the Marist Invitational. The men placed third, edged out by second place Iona College and first place Marist College. They were led by sophomore Jonah Williams who took 15th overall, followed by junior Eliot Gerson in 17th.

Junior Colin Hepburn, junior Brian Deer and senior Harry Feigen rounded out the Brewers’ top five. On Saturday, September 7, teams hosted the Ron Stonitsch Invitational. The men placed second to champions State University of New York at New Paltz. Freshman Alfredo Mazzuca, who was named Liberty League Rookie of the Week on September 9th, placed second overall and Williams came in 6th while Feigen set a personal best in the 6k with a time of 19:42.28. The Ramapo Roadrunner Invitational will take place on September 14 at Mahwah, NJ. Women’s Cross Country

The Vassar College Women’s Cross Country team also placed 3rd, just seven points shy of Division I second-place Iona College. Sophomore Ava Farrell had her first place finish for the Brewers, coming in 8th overall. Junior Cassidy Carpenter, senior Emily Garber and junior Nicole Woodworth all also finished in the top 15. The women also placed second in the Ron Stonitsch Invitational. The freshman trio of Kate Snider, Lucy Balcezak and Jemma Howlett all placed in the top 13, while Farrell narrowly missed her personal best. Kate Snider was named Liberty League Rookie of the Week on Monday. The Women will compete in the Ramapo Roadrunner Invitational on Saturday.

Women’s Field Hockey

The Vassar College Women’s Field Hockey team defeated Keystone College 7-1 on August 30. Goals were scored by senior Tina Caso and Kerrin Poole, junior Dara Davis, sopho-

mores Lauren Wiebe and Bianca Zarella, and freshman Hayley Beach. On September 6, the team edged out Manhattanville University in overtime 2-1, with Davis and Wiebe scoring the two goals. On September 7, the Brewers faced the Pioneers of Smith College and lost a close one in overtime, 3-2. Senior Caroline Stanton contributed one goal, while Wiebe scored the second. On September 10, the women faced Keane University, and suffered a heartbreaking loss 1-0. The Brewers next play Western Connecticut University at home on September 18 at Prentiss Field.

Men’s Rugby

On September 8, the Men’s Rugby team defeated Hofstra University 61-0. Senior Andrew Jdaydani had two tries for the Brewers, and sophomore Alan Hagins had one. Junior kicker Nick Grahams helped secure the win for the Brewers with five cons and three pens.

Men’s Soccer

The Men’s soccer team started off their season strong with a 3-1 win against State University of New York at New Paltz on August 30.

Junior striker Tom Weichert had a hat trick during the game, scoring on three out of four shots on net; his efforts earned him Liberty League Offensive Performer of the Week. On September 4, the team traveled to Western Connecticut State University and took home a 4-0 win. Weichert scored two of the Brewers’ four goals and senior Juliano Pereira scored two as well. Senior Goalkeeper Ryan Grimme made five saves on nine shots while sophomore keeper Sebastien Lasseur made two. The team picked up their first loss of the season in an overtime 2-1 loss against Haverford College on September 7. Grimme had seven saves in the contest and junior Zach Nasipak had the lone goal for the Brewers. On September 8, men’s soccer picked up a 3-1 win against Ursinus College. Pereira, Wiechert and Nasipak rounded out the scoring for the Brewers, while Grimme recorded six saves. The men will travel to Oneonta, NY next Wednesday to take on the SUNY

Grimme also commented on Wiechert’s potential moving forward: “I think Tom will have a breakout season,” he wrote. “The New Paltz game will only build his confidence, which will add to his performance on the field.”

Wiechert is aiming high for Liberty Leagues this year as well. “Playoffs are where the competition is highest. Hopefully this year during playoffs I’ll be stronger and have more of an impact…to play well in the NCAAs is a goal,” he wrote.

“Actually, to score in the NCAAs is a better goal,” he added. “I don’t know what the school records are, but I might as well beat them. I should look into those.”

Jacob Gorski/The Miscellany News

unior forward Tom Wiechert of Men’s Soccer, an avid player from age five, has since become one of the biggest offensive threats on the team. With five goals only several games into the season, Wiechert’s execution turned the Liberty League’s head, earning him Offensive Performer of the Week. This is the second year in a row that the Wiechert has received this title.

Vassar coaches first recruited Wiechert during his sophomore year of high school when he was playing in a Florida showcase for the U.S. Academy League. “[They] reached out to me, and Vassar was on my list ever since,” he said. “I came here for spring break my junior year and liked the team…I came back my senior year, stayed with Nano [Juliano Pereira ‘14], liked him and had a great time.”

Now, Wiechert is in his third year, and is a Computer Science major. “I was always strong in logic and math, and I was good at French.

So a combination of language, logic and algorithms has worked out well. Language is the way the computer reads information and outputs information. It’s the medium the computer works through,” he explained.

As for soccer, Wiechert has been a consistent scorer for the Brewers in the past three years. His freshman year, he scored three goals in games vs. Baruch College, Maritime College and Rennsalaer Polytechnic Institute and one game-winning goal vs. Clarkson University. He also had three assists. He stepped up even harder his sophomore year, putting in nine goals overall, four of which were game-winners.

With three more assists, Wiechert finished at number one on the team for points with 21.

Senior co-captain and goalkeeper Ryan Grimme acknowledged Wiechert’s skill. “Tom

brings a unique offensive threat that is a rarity,” he wrote in an emailed statement. “He offers speed, quickness and size that makes him difficult to defend.” Senior co-captain Evan Seltzer also recognized Wiechert’s goal-scoring ability. “[He] possesses the striker’s cornerstone quality: a penchant for scoring,” Seltzer explained.

“The best strikers in the world all have the aura of a ‘goal scorer’ when they step on the field, and he definitely exudes it when he plays.”

The trend has continued into 2013, as demonstrated by Wiechert in the season opener vs.

State University of New York at New Paltz. “It was a rough game,” said Wiechert. “The grass was really long, so our passing and defending was not up to par. But in the end we got a couple of good sequences, and I was able to capitalize on some open space.” Wiechert finished the game with a total of three goals, earning his first career hat trick.

“Hat tricks are pretty rare in soccer,” explained Wiechert. “They don’t happen very often unless you are beating a team 7-0. But for us to win 3-1 and for me to have a hat trick is pretty unheard of.” Juliano Pereira ’14 scored the team’s last hat trick one year ago in a game vs. John Jay College.

Seltzer stressed how crucial Wiechert’s hat trick was: “[His] performance last Friday was nothing short of vital, and I can speak for the team when I say we might not have won without him,” he wrote. “While we all played tenaciously, he was the indisputable game-changer; he put the game in his hands and captured the victory for us.”

But the players aren’t the only ones impressed by Wiechert’s play. Head Coach Andy Jennings also wrote in an emailed statement that, “Tom’s performance is what we are beginning to expect from him. He is very athletic and is exceptionally good at getting in behind the

Oneonta Dragons at 1 p.m.

Women’s Soccer

The Women’s Soccer team started off their season strong as well, picking up two wins.

On August 30 they defeated Mount Saint Mary College 4-1. Junior Chloe Wheeler notched two goals for the Brewers. Sophomore Emma Nichols had eight saves in the contest. On Saturday September 7, the Brewers headed to Hoboken, NJ to participate in the Stevens Engineering Cup. They defeated Stevens Institute of Technology 2-1 in double overtime during the opening round. Nichols set her collegiate career-high of 15 saves in the contest. Women’s Soccer will compete against New York University on September 14 at 1 p.m. on Prentiss Field.

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Women’s Volleyball

The Women’s Volleyball team began their season by defeating Misericordia University and Cedar Crest College on Monday, September 2. The Brewers defeated Misericordia University 3-0. Junior Taylor Mosley had 14 kills and freshman Gabby Miller recorded eight kills, four aces and five digs. Sophomore libero Chloe Hallum had a game-high 17 digs. Vassar also defeated Cedar Crest College 3-0 while senior Jessie Ditmore recorded a team best seven kills. The Brewers next hosted the Vassar College Invitational starting on September 6. The Brewers lost 3-0 to Stevens Institute of Technology but earned the split by defeating Massachusetts Institute of Technology 3-1. Mosley had 11 kills and 14 digs along with three blocks in the first contest and Hallum had 22 digs. The Invitational continued the next day, and Vassar began the day by defeating Nationally Ranked No. 24 State University of New York at Cortland. Mosley had 13 kills and 11 digs, while junior Marie Pitre had 10 kills and four digs, two aces and three assisted blocks. Senior setter Rose Carman had a career high 38 assists and nine digs and Hallum had 23 defensive saves.

The Brewers ultimately were defeated by New York University 3-1. They will next host Williams College on Wednesday, September 11.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

WOMEN’S SOCCER VASSAR

VS

HAVERFORD COLLEGE

4

3 MEN’S RUGBY

VASSAR

61

AT

HOFSTRA UNIVERSITY

0