The Miscellany News
miscellanynews.org
January 25, 2024
Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866 Volume 161 | Issue 1
College pens unexpected letter in pay equity lawsuit Benjamin Savel Guest Reporter
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s Vassar families around the country concluded their New Year’s Eve celebrations, the College was preparing its second attempt to throw out a large majority of the pay equality lawsuit. The lawsuit, originally filed on Aug. 30, seeks monetary redress for decades of alleged pay inequality for female professors at the College. On Jan. 2, the College filed its second dismissal letter, which pushes back any decision on the lawsuit’s first step to March 19. In the letter, the College alleged that the female professors never claimed they were harmed by the promotion and merit rating system that the professors describe as biased against women: “While [the female professors] allege that they were paid less…nowhere do they allege that they were themselves personally paid less as a result of Vassar’s promotion and evaluation system.” The professors maintain that the College is incorrect and underscored their sentiment in a new, updated lawsuit filed on Dec. 19. In response to the new letter, Michelle Lamy, an attorney for the professors, wrote, “Plaintiffs were disappointed by Vassar’s second attempt to dismiss this case. Vassar is wrong, and Plaintiffs will respond to Vassar’s statement through an amended complaint and vigorous opposition to any
further attempt by Vassar to dismiss this case,” she stated in written correspondence with The Miscellany News. Many community members expressed astonishment at the College’s claims, including HearUsOut, a student group advocating in support of the female professors, who called the College’s statements divisive and misleading. “The College continues to embarrass itself in front of the justice system and the community,” the group wrote in a collective statement to The Miscellany News. The group added, “This school would rather humiliate itself in the court of law and the press than admit it has wronged its own community members.” Camille Olson, an attorney for the College, however, claimed that the College’s dismissal letter was standard procedure for cases of this type. “The litigation process requires that the parties comply with various pleading and other rules that are applicable to all litigation,” she stated in an email to The Miscellany News. President Bradley, when asked about her communication plans for the new year, has provided more limited responses than in the early days of the lawsuit. In September, she stated “I am committed to communicating with you on behalf of the College in the most transparent way possible”, sending an email to the community with an explanation of faculty salary differences, the salary peer-review process and her suggested next
steps for the Faculty Compensation Committee. However, in an email to The Miscellany News on Jan. 20, she did not mention any plans to provide similar updates in the new year, stating, “We continue to be
limited in what we can communicate due to pending litigation.” More generally, she wrote, “The College is committed to fair and equal pay and to proceeding in comSee EQUITY on page 3
Image courtesy of Benjamin Savel ’26.
Reviewing last year’s films Attendee reflects on SCC Madeleine Nicks Guest Columnist
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ver winter break, I made and kept my resolution to hunker down and watch as many of this year’s leading films ahead of award season as I could. While I feel most of the time that Oscar-worthy films devolve into overly complex think pieces, I was pleasantly surprised to be met with personal, beautiful and daring films bolstered by remarkable performances and cinematography to match. While I watched close to 25 movies, these four left a lasting impression on me, each for their own reasons. “Past Lives” “Past Lives” was a truly stunning directorial debut by Celine Song, promoted by the film producer/distributor A24. While many of the films this year were differentiated by their theatricality or specific aesthetic effects, “Past Lives” has garnered respect for its subtlety, mature perspective and quietly complex characters. The story follows Nora, who emigrates from South Korea at a young age, as she reconnects with her childhood love Hae Sun throughout different points in their lives. At its core, “Past Lives” is a love story but one that is enveloped in heartbreak and the harsh realities of what distance, time and fate can do to two people with the purest of inten-
tions. Song, who also wrote the screenplay, is careful to make the characters and their experiences resonate in the modern world without relying on conventions. Greta Lee and Teo Yoo expertly find a distanced and delicate chemistry, while allowing for John Magaro, who plays Nora’s husband Arthur, to find his own space between them. The film is paced quickly and efficiently, and while the scenes feel careful and heavy, each moment of dialogue is meaningful. Especially in the moments were the language barrier is present between Hae Sung and Arthur, or even when Nora is translating, each character chooses their words with precision and care, relying on tone and body language as a means to convey their message in a more intricate way. There is no villain or hero in this story, just people searching for acceptance, meaning and forgiveness within themselves and each other. “Poor Things” I am, admittedly, nervous to watch any film directed by Yorgos Lanthimos, but I was comforted by the fact that this is a joint passion project for him and Emma Stone. The screenplay was adapted from a novel by Tony McNamara, who has done amazing work in theater, television and film. I loved this movie for its individualiSee Reviewing on page 5
Carina Cole
advice for anyone considering attending the event next year.
or months prior to attending the tenth annual Sophomore Career Connections (SCC), I had heard overwhelmingly positive chatter about the event. Echoes of upperclassmen friends riffing off advice and spouting off stories of success informed my high expectations for the event: “I got an internship!” “I still grab coffee with a mentor from the data science panel!” Needless to say, I felt a mixture of both excitement and nervousness when picking out my business casual best the night before SCC. Moreover, as someone who was (and still is) in the midst of internship interviews and applications, I had put a lot of pressure on myself to make positive first impressions on the mentors. The event was informative and the mentors’ passion for their careers was inspiring, but coming out of SCC, I felt somewhat amiss. The networking sessions were not entirely a breeze, and I did not come out of the event with dozens of new contacts who I could casually ask for career advice at any given point in time. This is not to say that SCC is not worthwhile—it completely is and I recommend it to any current firstyear reading this article—I simply think that there are misconceptions about the event, which is why I have curated some
Do not be afraid to be independent I know that going to Gordon Commons (or, more affectionately, the Deece) alone can be intimidating, but flying solo during SCC can have some serious benefits. The unstructured networking meals are one of the easiest ways to have a meaningful, oneon-one conversation with the busy mentors. Personally, most of my friends have vastly different majors and career interests than me. While it might seem intimidating, I got the most out of the conversations I sought out independently. If you embrace independence, you can make sure you end up speaking with a literary agent as an English major, for example, instead of a cybersecurity expert.
Features Editor
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Allow yourself to be surprised That being said…if you do end up dining with a cybersecurity expert as an English major, it might be a blessing in disguise. A trait that was beautifully emphasized in the keynote speech by Ilyse Hogue ’91 was curiosity. One of the best things you can do at a career conference is allow yourself to be surprised by the career paths you find interesting. A common theme with many of the mentors’ professional journeys was the fact See SCC on page 7
Inside this issue
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Guest reporter Noah Duncan finds fruits and feelings in the FEATURES Mojave desert.
Amid the cold, Humor Editor Nick Tillinghast looks HUMOR forward to hot meals.
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15 SPORTS
Assistant Sports Editor Caris Lee reviews prime sledding spots around campus.
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January 25, 2024
THE MISCELLANY NEWS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR SENIOR EDITORS
Maryam Bacchus Charlotte Robertson Sufana Noorwez Sashinka Poor Sandro Lorenzo CONTRIBUTING EDITORS William Sorge Monika Sweeney Clara Alger NEWS EDITORS Makenna Monaghan Allison Lowe ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR Allen Hale ARTS EDITORS Jesse Koblin Emma Lawrence ASSISTANT ARTS EDITOR Carina Cole FEATURES EDITOR Luke Jenkins ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR Lev Winickoff ASSISTANT OPINIONS EDITOR Nicholas Tillinghast HUMOR EDITOR Nick Villamil SPORTS EDITOR Caris Lee ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Igor Martiniouk PHOTO EDITOR Molly Delahunty DESIGN EDITOR Amelia Gracie ASSISTANT DESIGN EDITOR Julia Weinberg COPY EDITOR Anabel Lee ASSISTANT COPY EDITOR Karen Mogami GRAPHICS EDITOR Sadie Keesbury GAMES EDITOR Olivia Hahn SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS Richard Lu Catherine Borthwick LIVE EVENTS CHAIR Kai Chang WEBMASTERS Michael Yang Britt Andrade REPORTERS/COLUMNISTS Cassandra Brook Soren Fischer Henry France Yaksha Gummadapu Anna Kozloski Gwen Ma Oliver Stewart Josie Wenner Andrew Chu CARTOONISTS Ian Watanabe Kathryn Carvel COPY STAFF Grace Finke Willa Jewitt Claire Miller Ailynn O’Neill Emma Sandrew Emma San Filippo Edward Welch Morgan
CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed. The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
NEWS
January 25, 2024
College
further
delays
Continued from EQUITY on page 1 pliance with all relevant laws. We wish to resolve the issues and we continue to work toward a resolution.” The College’s letter was filed several weeks after Judge Cathy Seibel suggested at the November court hearing that many of the College’s initial reasons for contesting the lawsuit were legally unsupported. Judge Seibel noted several issues with Vassar’s initial letter, including the fact that the College attempted to apply federal rules to a state-level law. Vassar’s response letter, however, came as a surprise to many in the community. Just a month before the letter was filed, President Bradley had released her sixth message committing to pay equity and a fair resolution of the lawsuit. In addition, Judge Seibel, who supervises the case, had told the College, “You don’t need another pre-motion letter unless there’s going to be some new issue out of left field.” Soon after Seibel stated that the College’s arguments were not supported by precedent, an argument ensued at the court hearing between her and Camille Olson, one of the College’s attorneys. “If you’re an assistant professor in the Physics Department, I don’t know how much more you have to say to make it plau-
sible that other assistant professors in the Physics Department have similar responsibilities,” Seibel stated. Olson, however, claimed that similarity of rank and subspecialty were not enough, replying that “you actually have to show… substantial similarity with respect to skill, effort, and actually the work that’s performed.” But Seibel reaffirmed her statement that similar professors have similar responsibilities. “All Assistant Professors in the English Department have to be on committees and publish and teach and supervise independent work,” she stated. “I don’t know that a heck of a lot of detail is required to make a claim plausible when you’re comparing yourself to somebody with the same title in the same department.” Two weeks later, the female professors reluctantly named several higher-paid male professors in an amended lawsuit to remove any ambiguity. They claim that the College’s decision to make them do so is unnecessarily divisive, pitting faculty members against one another instead of addressing a larger issue. “Make no mistake,” they stated in the updated lawsuit, “Vassar’s discriminatory underpayment of women extends far beyond the five Plaintiffs here or the dozens of men Vassar has elected to
Save
Deer
Our
William Sorge
Contributing Editor
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rior to Winter Break, the Poughkeepsie organization Save Our Deer (SOD) demonstrated on the corner of Raymond Avenue and Collegeview Avenue to call on the Vassar administration to suspend cullings, or mass killings, of deer at the Vassar Farm and Ecological Preserve. The cullings are part of a deer management program with the goal of maintaining biodiversity at the preserve by controlling the population of deer, according to the administration. SOD argues that the killings are cruel and lack a sound scientific basis.
“The deer population on the Preserve, as documented by flyover data and deer exclusion studies (studies that assess the impact of deer on forests), significantly exceeds the density that will allow for forest.” Vassar first began these cullings in 2010 and has conducted them on an annual basis since 2015 with the exception of 2021. “There have been constant protests, but Vassar keeps the killing largely hidden… so awareness is always an issue,” said local SOD representative Larry Trepel in a written correspondence to The Miscellany News. “Vassar waits until students leave for winter break before closing the preserve in December, baiting deer with corn for weeks, then killing them in January before students return.” According to Trepel, SOD’s efforts last year against the deer cullings focused on alumnae/i outreach at various events, including a major alumnae/i event at the Mu-
resolution pay more than them.” Notably, the majority of the higher-paid male comparators signed in support of the lawsuit, calling on President Bradley and the Board of Trustees to settle in a Letter to the Editor published on Sep. 20. Lamy commented in a written communication, “The comparators’ public support only goes to show how out of step the Vassar administration is on these issues.” Lamy added in her statement that the new motion is part of a long history of a discrepancy between Vassar’s public state-
of
lawsuit
ments and private actions. “Vassar’s decision to fight their female faculty’s effort to close the gender pay gap is unfortunately consistent with the College’s decades-long pattern of claiming to value gender equality while privately undercutting that mission.” HearUsOut ended their communication with a statement of support for their professors. “This school cannot run without the women who teach us, and we are grateful for your continued bravery in the face of institutional apathy. We are with you and we refuse to let up.”
Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.
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seum of Modern Art in New York City last May. Trepel also said that members of the Poughkeepsie Town Board have personally asked President of the College Elizabeth Bradley to stop the deer cullings, to which she refused. The College denies that such requests were ever made. “We’re hoping this year that the newly elected Board decides to take further steps to end this,” Trepel added. Director of the Preserve Keri VanCamp said that the deer culling program reflected the latest evidence-based approach to deer management. “The deer population on the Preserve, as documented by flyover data and deer exclusion studies (studies that assess the impact of deer on forests), significantly exceeds the density that will allow for forest regeneration,” she said in a written correspondence to The Miscellany News. She went on, “Without a cull to manage the deer population, the population will grow even further and negatively impact the quality of habitat for other species and reduce biodiversity. The approach is approved and regulated by the DEC [New York Department of Environmental Conservation] and is similar to several other deer management programs in New York State and the region.” Hunter Grogran ’24, who worked at the preserve in the summer of 2022, shared her experience conducting the hands-on research used to substantiate the deer cullings. She said, “In each of the plots we evaluated the number and height of saplings and used the transect method to determine the number of vines and shrubs. We found that in plots…in which barriers prevented deer browse, there was a greater amount of vegetation and, additionally, that more saplings from the year before had survived.” SOD argues that there is no legitimate scientific reason for the killings to take place, and that the College has distorted US Department of Agriculture forest research in order to substantiate them while categorizing the Preserve as a forest. Trepel said, “The Preserve is not a forest, it is a property
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anti-culling
in a suburban community that offers deer numerous locations to find food, which is evident if you spend time observing them.” SOD also claims that Epizootic Hemorrhagic Disease (EHD) decimated the deer population starting in 2020, rendering any culling unnecessary, and that Vassar’s choice to continue culling anyway reveals cruel intent. Trepel said, “After several years the disease has finally abated, but killing deer that were already victims of a widespread disease illustrates Vassar’s cruel intent. Vassar’s website currently states that the flyover count last year was just 21 deer per square mile. That was one deer more than their already incorrect public ‘optimal’, but didn’t stop Vassar from killing deer this year.” VanCamp countered this by noting that the EHD outbreaks did not substantially decrease the deer population. She said, “There were outbreaks of EHD in popula-
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
efforts
tions of deer in the Hudson Valley between 2020 to 2022. The DEC website indicated that there were no outbreaks of EHD in the Hudson Valley this past summer. EHD is a very localized disease. We regularly monitor the deer density and watch for signs of EHD on the Preserve. We have seen no evidence that EHD has negatively impacted deer populations on or around campus.” Grogran emphasized that the human-caused overabundance of deer has threatened ecosystems across the northeast, and that it was the responsibility of workers to prioritize the collective health of the Preserve. She said, “Overall, human activity has been responsible for the explosion in the deer population which has subsequently resulted in a decrease in forest health and wildlife diversity. It is therefore our responsibility in a way to correct that, although the deer cullings are certainly unfortunate.”
Allison Lowe/The Miscellany News.
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NEWS
January 25, 2024
SCC offers networking for students and mentors Clara Alger, Allison Lowe
News Editor, Assistant News Editor
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ver Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, from Jan. 12 to Jan. 14, hundreds of students, alumnae/i and parents convened for the 10th annual Sophomore Career Connections (SCC). Over the course of these three days, Vassar sophomores had the opportunity to attend a number of panels relating to different industries, identities and post-graduation pathways. Students were also given both unstructured and structured time slots to network with SCC’s mentors, which gave them the chance to make valuable connections and learn vital networking skills. To set the tone for the conference, keynote speaker Ilyse Hogue ’91, a current Senior Fellow at Washington-based think tank New America gave a talk on the importance of a liberal arts education. She highlighted complexity and curiosity as building blocks for a better world, informing listeners on how to utilize a Vassar education to make a meaningful impact. As the conference approached its decennial anniversary, organizers from the Center for Career Education (CCE) had a moment to reflect on the importance and history behind Sophomore Career Connections. Stacy Bingham, Associate Dean of the College for Career Education and Interim Director of Fellowships, explained, “We saw a need, particularly in sophomore year, for a reorientation back to campus… So we wanted to create something special, in signature, for sophomores, as we felt like it was a pretty critical juncture where [students] are right in this journey of declaring majors and thinking, ‘How does what I’m studying at Vassar connect to the real world?’” Jannette Swanson, Director of External Engagement, continued, “The other thing that really inspired this was this belief in our alums—we have a phenomenal alumni base that’s now over 41,000 strong. I don’t think you will find a network much better than the Vassar alumni network, because they are just incredibly eager to be helpful and help students connect those dots.” By allowing students to interact with a large number of alumnae/i in a welcoming and engaging environment, the CCE’s hope is that these students will be more likely to reach out to this alumni network, both during their time at Vassar and after grad-
Image courtesy of Karl Rabe. uation. While the core goals and structure of SCC have remained consistent, some aspects of the program have changed over time. The number of students participating continues to increase, and the CCE has added more chances for the mentors to connect with each other and with professors. In reflection of student interest, they added both data science and public health panels this year. Nick Migliorino, Assistant Director of Career Education and Pre-Law Advisor, said, “I think that something I noticed coming new into this program is that the mentors reflect the students that are coming. That’s a big part of making sure that we have different perspectives, different experiences, different people that can speak to the many different students that go to Vassar.” Bingham added, “I think the other piece too, is that it allows students to see one another in different ways, right?” She explained that SCC can help students forge relationships with other sophomores who have similar interests who may make up their future network. Students went to SCC seeking mentorship and guidance, hoping to discover their interests and get a clearer image of
what they might want their future career paths to look like. Kathryn Carvel ’26, an English and Media Studies major, said, “I was interested in it because I have heard a lot of people who have gone and learned a lot about what they do or don’t want to do and the kind of life that they want to lead in the future.” [Disclaimer: Carvel is a Copy Staffer for The Miscellany News].
“I don’t think you will find a network much better than the Vassar alumni network, because they are just incredibly eager to be helpful and help students connect those dots.” Students also expressed how the conference helped them to realize the open-ended nature of their potential pathways after college. Wyatt Keleshian ’26, an Art History and Economics major, stated, “It was surprising to learn how many [mentors]
Image courtesy of Karl Rabe. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
went into industries that they didn’t start out thinking they would enter.” Chloe Rogers ’26, a Neuroscience and Behavior major and pre-medical student, found comfort speaking with mentors. “As someone going into the medical field, I wanted reassurance that Vassar was going to prepare me for something like that by getting opinions from professional doctors,” she said. Students also noted some challenges that came along with the busy nature of SCC. Carvel said the packed Saturday schedule was mentally draining, while Rogers found the first networking breakfast unhelpful because it was not organized by industry. Carvel explained, “It was very mentally taxing to kind of put yourself out there all day and try to sell yourself and market yourself to people that you don’t know. So there were definitely long days.” Sam Fischer-Murphy ’26, a History major, enjoyed the more unstructured mealtimes, saying, “I went into [SCC] thinking that it would be extremely scary, but in the end, it was actually a lot more useful because in a casual setting, you have the opportunity to have a regular conversation.” Now that the program has been running for a decade, Swanson says, “For the last couple of years now, we have actually had, you know, anywhere from 10 to 13 of our mentors be mentors that did this as a student.” Rogers commented on the importance of this connection, explaining, “It was really good to hear from people that also had no idea as a sophomore and then went to Sophomore Career Connections and found their way through that.” Swanson notes that a pleasant surprise of the program is learning how much students keep alumnae/i going. She notes, “For me to hear our alums come back and say ‘I’m inspired by the sophomores’ is something that I think really touches me because it’s full circle, right? They’re inspired by you, you’re hopefully inspired by them. And I think that shows the magic of the Vassar community at work.” SCC will continue next year, and the conference will continue to be updated and tweaked based on student feedback. Signups will be coming out next fall. Carvel encouraged current first-years to participate once they have the opportunity, saying, “Do Sophomore Career Connections. It’s going to hurt more if you don’t than if you do. So, next year, when you freshmen see it—do it. Sign up.”
ARTS
January 25, 2024
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Reviewing last year’s weirdest, saddest and most heartfelt films Continued from REVIEWING on page 1 ty and shockingly daring choices, not shying away from grotesque medical scenes, overwhelming and psychedelic set design or intense moments of second-hand embarrassment. That being said, it is not an easy watch. It is over two hours long, and the act-based structure of the story makes it so that the setting and progression are in constant change and evolution. It is not a linear plot and certainly not literal. Stone delivers a career-best performance as the Frankenstein-esque Bella Baxter on a completely uninhibited and bewildering hero’s journey. Willem Dafoe is an exceedingly eccentric counterpart father/creator figure, whereas Ramy Youssef is an anchoring force of sweetness and stability throughout. Mark Ruffalo emerges as, surprisingly, the standout of the film. I was confused at his casting as Bella’s prowling, sleazy romantic partner, but his ridiculous dramatics were executed through perfect comedic timing and made the longer portions of the film exponentially more enjoyable. “Poor Things,” ultimately, is as much a visual experience as it is an intellectual endeavor, constructed by a team that cares deeply about its craftsmanship and precision. The film makes you question yourself, reality and societal boundaries—as it was the only film of the season that did not shy away from the most extreme expressions of art and performance. “The Holdovers” Alexander Payne takes a departure from his usual comedic style with “The Hold-
overs,” creating a wonderfully intricate tribute to ’70s movies, which is somehow the best new Christmas movie? The most powerful part of the film is the impeccable casting. While Paul Giamatti stays booked and busy, it has been a minute since he has starred in such a high-echelon film, leading the cast with a humanity and honesty that is incredibly refreshing. His character, Paul Hunham, serves as an unexpected hero. He is an initially unlikable classic teacher, who softens in his ways through making mistakes and learning from those around him.
cy of the film feel so much bigger and more important. Payne stays true to his mission of entrenching the film in an almost period-piece level of accuracy, and the style of the cinematography is grainy and unique, creating a world that immerses the audience within it. The script is fresh and filled with flashes of heartbreak and joy. It is not corny, which is an accomplishment in and of itself, but an honest depiction of how nobody can ever know someone else’s full story, but they can still offer ports in the storm of life and pain.
There is no villain or hero in this story, just people searching for acceptance, meaning and forgiveness within themselves and each other.
“American Fiction” While “American Fiction” has as much of a place in the award season as any other film, there is a disappointing lack of conversation around the incredibly important and refreshingly sharp film. The film centers around the world of Black authorship, examining why and how writers both conform to the stereotypes that are placed on them and fight against them. The movie’s messaging felt similar to discussions around female authors and marriage plots: how they were forced to write what the world wanted from them and were often not published without adhering to certain guidelines. Writer and director Cord Jefferson brings those same ideas into question and offers his own answers to what it means to be both a Black person and an intellectual artist. Through the perspective of Thelonious “Monk” Ellison, the film plays with how these elements of Monk’s identity, specifically, find harmony and dissonance. Aside from these overarching themes of
The true star of the film is, undoubtedly, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, whose complexly beautiful portrayal of the grieving, loving and tough Mary Lamb is acting that is not easy to forget. Dominic Sessa was plucked straight from the school that the movie was filmed out of, and this rookie performance was brilliant and wholly original. 2018-era Timothée Chalamet is absolutely kicking himself that he did not get the chance to play the angsty, intelligent and neglected Angus Tully. The clear love that the cast has for each other creates a warmth throughout the story and makes the wonderful intima-
the film, the humanness of the story finds its home in family politics, grief and love. No characters in the film are perfect or an attempt at projecting any one type of person. Each person carries contradictions but continues to walk through life with humor and an allowance for making mistakes, becoming examples of the universal truth that no one person can answer to all of society’s challenges. While the film overall feels to be digging its heels into the modern world, the story still holds surprises and departures from the realistic, all of which keep viewers invested and focused while watching. It is a bright, comedic, pessimistic and honest film that is clear in its intentions and messaging. It feels complete and is able to unravel the convoluted issues that
“Poor Things,” ultimately, is as much a visual experience as it is an intellectual endeavor, constructed by a team that cares deeply about its craftsmanship and precision. face our society, creating multi-hyphenate Black characters who are more than their race and bringing even the most aware and “well-read” white people into question with their embedded prejudices.
‘The Boy and the Heron’ flies into new and old hearts alike Benjamin Kaplan Guest Columnist
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f there is one word to describe “The Boy and the Heron,” the latest classic from the prolific Studio Ghibli, it would be: maximalist. In a visually stunning masterpiece that pleases the eye then turns it to tears, it is a magnificent parting gift from Hayao Miyazaki to longtime fans of the studio. The film is simply just bursting at the seams with aesthetics taken from past films, filtered through radically new ideas. Studio Ghibli has added onto their prestigious collection of beloved movies with acclaimed director Miyazaki’s final film, and it is truly something breathtaking.
The characters move with grace and serenity in nearly every location visited in the movie. Compared to past endeavors in their filmography, Ghibli went for a mixture of styles for this film with very pleasing results. The flashier, modern aspects used heavily in 2013’s “Howl’s Moving Castle” make appearances, adding dramatic flair to many scenes with intense depictions of fire and movement with flashy movement reminiscent of the 2016 anime film “Your Name.” These small moments of flair add gravitas, considering the rest of the movie pulls from the calmer, yet highly expressive style, well-known for its use in the previous Ghibli films “My Neighbor Totoro” and “Spirited Away.” The characters move with grace and serenity in nearly
every location visited in the movie. A part of the film’s maximalism is also in its use of various contrasting settings, featuring water settings highly reminiscent of “Ponyo,” fantasy scenes similar to “Castle in the Sky’’ and the house the film’s plot centers around. This central setting of the countryside house feels almost like a sibling to the old home from “My Neighbor Totoro,” though it contains far more mystery.
Like any good film, it pleases the viewer who watches and also the viewer who investigates. It is in this house that the main events of “The Boy and the Heron” take off, as the protagonist Mahito assumes the classic Studio Ghibli mantle as a traumatized child following the death of his mother in the fire-bombings of Tokyo during World War II. Brought to the countryside by his father to stay at the estate of his eccentric aunt Natsuko, Mahito is a deeply complex character, even by Ghibli standards. Becoming stoic and almost robotic as a response to the grief of his mother’s passing and the strangeness of his father now romantically entangling himself with Natsuko really makes Mahito a deep character with many different emotional points the audience can never fully see apart from some glimpses throughout the film. All this occurs while a strange heron on the estate continually harasses Mahito, who is stuck at the house indefinitely upon violently injuring himself to stay away from the bullies of his new school. The strange relationship between Mahito and his aunt-turned-new-mother
Natsuko is an emotional highlight of the plot throughout, peaking at the call to adventure for the story when Natsuko disappears and Mahito, alongside the heron and the loveable housemaid Kiriko, go into the magical tower on the outskirts of the house to begin the more magical part of the movie. For a Ghibli movie, this is an intense and admittedly complex opener, yet it remains sensible and gives a lot of space for the characters to both be set up and put in scenarios that allow viewers to gain some familiarity with them. Mahito’s brooding personality is a highlight of this, as it serves as an antithesis to the usual, more optimistic protagonists of past Ghibli movies like “My Neighbor Totoro.”
Only Studio Ghibli could pull off a film where cannibalistic humanoid parakeets and magical tower dimensions perfectly encapsulate grief, the downfall of Japanese nationalism or even Mizayaki’s thoughts on current art and his place in it. A unique quality of the film is the fusion of past Ghibli concepts with fresh motifs, a degree of familiarity which makes the film feel like a sendoff for Miyzaki. A striking example of this is how, despite using
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
character designs and settings not too far removed in maturity from past children’s Ghibli movies like “Ponyo,” the movie also has violence, bloodshed and mature topics, such as grief, that usually appear in more adult-oriented Ghibli films such as “Princess Mononoke” or “Grave of the Fireflies”. This simple combination automatically makes “The Boy and the Heron” stand out through surreal settings and concepts reminiscent of films such as “Mirai,” while also pairing them with emotional storylines that Ghibli has been improving on since “Whisper of the Heart.” “The Boy and the Heron” exemplifies Studio Ghibli’s ability to elicit deep emotions within audiences without directly telling them how to feel. It is a film that is confusing and often abstract, throwing viewers into strange locales and intense scenes where characters have their feelings painted onto the canvas of the silver screen. This is not a film where the strangeness of the world meets humanity; it is instead a film that uses weirdness and abstract settings to explore the most difficult parts of being human. Only Studio Ghibli could pull off a film where cannibalistic humanoid parakeets and magical tower dimensions perfectly encapsulate grief, the downfall of Japanese nationalism or even Mizayaki’s thoughts on current art and his place in it. This movie can be exactly what you watch, but it can also be so much more. It is an amazing movie at face value, but only gets better when the various pieces laid out start to form any number of puzzles in the viewer’s head. Like any good film, it pleases the viewer who watches and also the viewer who investigates. “The Boy and the Heron” is a modern classic that will both wow viewers and get them thinking for years to come.
ARTS
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January 25, 2024
‘American Fiction’ balances satire and humanity Jesse Koblin Arts Editor
O
n a frigid Saturday night over winter break, I had the pleasure of seeing “American Fiction” (2023) at the Bronxville Picture House. The film, set between Los Angeles and a Massachusetts beach house, follows Thelonious “Monk” Ellison (Jeffrey Wright), a brilliant yet frustrated novelist teaching American literature at a Los Angeles college. Put on involuntary leave for offending his students and struggling to secure a publisher for his next work, Monk returns to his family home outside of Boston and becomes entrenched in complex discourses of race, generation and romance within his family, all the while penning a parodic stereotypically African-American novel witheringly named “My Pafology.” Monk is a profoundly anti-heroic character; self-justified to a fault and puristic in his creative process, he struggles with perfectionism and the obstinate impulse to write literary novels unrelated to Blackness in a publishing industry content to reduce him to his race. Yet, director Cord Jefferson complicates Monk’s philosophy by depicting his well-heeled upbringing in contrast to popular depictions of Black American life. The Ellison family owns a townhouse in downtown Boston and a breezy beach house; they have a live-in home attendant, Lorraine (Myra Lucretia Taylor), who has worked for the Ellisons so long she is essentially family; Monk calls his mom Agnes (Leslie Uggams) “Mother” in comically affected New England parlance. For all the hackneyed and harmful portrayals of the Black-American experience that Monk rages against, he is the subject of colorblindness himself, strained by the double consciousness of a privileged, implicitly white-normative upbringing in an industry reducing him to his Black identity. “American Fiction” hits its stride with
its scorched-earth send-up of novels that allegedly wear identity on their sleeve. Incensed that his literary nemesis Sintara Golden (Issa Rae) has a hit with the racialized title, “We’s Lives in Da Ghetto,” Monk is out for revenge on a world that allows pandering while his “serious” books do not sell. With assistance from his editor, Arthur (John Ortiz), Monk pulls an all-nighter and pumps out a crass parody, sending it to publishers as a tirade against the literary establishment. Monk watches his gag turn into a runaway smash, as he is offered $750,000 for the publication rights—far more than he has ever made off his previous writing. Various attempts at derailing the release of “My Pafology,” including emphatically renaming the novel to the blunt “F*CK,” only bolsters its success, leading Monk into ever-increasing, and often hilarious, hypocrisy. The film’s tireless sardonicism comes
The scene perfectly distills “American Fiction”: a reflection on Black artistic expression set against Black media representation, straddling the line between comedy and lament.
from Jefferson’s barbed writing but rests on the strength of its powerful cast. Wright’s depiction of Monk masters the dialectical pull of humor and sincerity this film demands. Wright delivers incising, sharp quips and punctuates many of the film’s jokes with perfect deadpan reactions. Yet,
his hunched body language and awkward demeanor solidify Monk as a character as anguished as he is brilliant. Other cast standouts include Sterling K. Brown’s depiction of Clifford, Monk’s brother struggling through re-examined masculinity and sexuality after coming out as gay in middle age, and Uggams’ moving performance as Monk’s mother succumbing to deteriorative dementia. “American Fiction” interweaves a range of themes but finds a balance between comedy and drama. Scenes focusing on the publishing industry lampoon white liberal guilt through caustic parody, while Monk’s reflections on writing are somnolent, and his conversations between family members are full of humor, struggling to break through a crushing ennui. Perhaps what I love most about Jefferson’s direction is the combination of these three strains of Monk’s life into one cohesive package. The film’s simultaneous focus on Blackness as it exists in institutions, creativity and family life enriches each context and allows the movie to avoid perpetuating the cliches it is busy skewering. The tragedies and joys that befall the Ellison family, their family politics and the collective traumas that develop across the film give the viewer a rich portrait of the Ellisons that goes beyond a pat racialized worldview. Jefferson’s choice to elide family drama and farce permeates the film’s humor with an irreverent joy and indelible sadness. Key to striking this delicate tonal balance is an instrumental jazz score composed by Laura Karpman, which leverages the cool jazz idiom’s relaxed beauty to lull viewers into a sense of ease. Through the ironic extremes of Monk’s journey and the grief the Ellisons face, the melancholia of Karpman’s score returns as a reminder that the only reasonable reaction to absurdity is acceptance. The choice of an instrumental jazz soundtrack also parallels Monk’s inner journey. Born initially from
Black-American expression and considered a debauched and low-brow musical form by the white majority, jazz music gradually ascended to a position of artistic integrity as white artists began performing jazz, culminating in its apotheosis as a high-brow genre. Much like jazz, Monk struggles to reconcile his love of Black culture and representation alongside his ambitions as a literary writer creating high-brow traditionalist fiction. “American Fiction” ends on Miles Davis’ iconic opening trumpet on Cannonball Adderley’s 1958 rendition of “Autumn Leaves.” The song punctuates Monk driving out of a Hollywood backlot with his brother Clifford after seeing an extra on his lunch break wearing a sharecropper costume. The scene perfectly distills “American Fiction”: a reflection on Black artistic expression set against Black media representation, straddling the line between comedy and lament. Though a scathing indictment of a paradigm where Black creators find success in reciting Black traumas to white audiences, it offers in counterpoint a portrait of a family that weathers the stresses of life without identity or race determining their lives. “Autumn Leaves” is the perfect track to underpin this point—Davis’ trumpet, through bluesy, mellifluous chords, almost speaks to us, essentially saying that life goes on.
Perhaps what I love most about Jefferson’s direction is the combination of these three strains of Monk’s life into one cohesive package.
Image courtesy of Tori Kim ’25. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
FEATURES
January 25, 2024
Reflecting
on
Sophomore
Continued from SCC on page 1 that their major did not always match up with their most recent job. Keeping this in mind, you might find yourself being drawn to a field that you never would have imagined might interest you. Lean into your sense of curiosity and welcome these new interests, even if that might seem scary.
your social abilities or those of the mentor you are speaking to. While the occasional less-successful conversation can seem demoralizing during a weekend that deeply emphasizes making valuable connections, it is important to keep in mind that, at the end of the day, not every conversation will go seamlessly.
Do not expect to click with every mentor you talk to Make no mistake, every single mentor is kind, knowledgeable and more than willing to offer valuable advice. But networking can be complex and daunting. Some conversations flow naturally, while others lull and have awkward silences. These hiccups, however, are not a reflection of
Make time for yourself While I found myself inspired and motivated at many moments over the weekend, I also found myself exhausted at the end of each day—both physically and mentally. Believe it or not, constantly talking and having advice thrown at you at almost every moment is tiring. I felt a breadth of emotions: confusion over what I wanted
Career
my future to look like, questions about whether I could succeed in certain industries, and uncertainty about whether I was “marketing” my strengths and interests correctly. I was inside my own head for a lot of the weekend when I should have been focusing on what a privilege it was to meet such successful and inspiring individuals. Although it sounds cheesy, self-care is key during a weekend filled with career confusion and ample moments to ponder over an uncertain future. Do not expect to know everything about your future career after one weekend Can SCC provide immense opportunities and meaningful time with knowledgeable professionals? Absolutely. Will you know
Page 7
Connections exactly what you want to do after one weekend? Definitely not. And that is more than okay. Many people I know left SCC more confused than when they entered the weekend which, in many ways, is exactly what the event was for. SCC is a time for exploration and—there is that word again— curiosity. It is better to know that you do not want to do something than to blindly pursue a career that might make you miserable. If you still feel confused after the weekend (which, spoiler alert, you probably will) do not shy away from asking to set up a one-on-one phone call with a mentor or head down to the Center for Career Education. After all, at this point, none of us can truly predict what our future careers will be.
Maine’s changing climate washes away iconic local sites Charles Spencer Guest Columnist
O
n Saturday, Jan. 13, a storm battered the coast of Maine, leading to unprecedented levels of sea swell. A new record was set for the state with the ocean rising almost 15 feet above normal levels. These raised water levels washed away the remaining two fishing shacks perched on the rocks of Willard Beach. The shacks are a local icon, having been there for around 150 years. One of my high school teachers had her wedding ceremony in front of the shacks, and she is far from unique in holding the small buildings
The shacks are a local icon, having been there for around 150 years. One of my high school teachers had her wedding ceremony in front of the shacks, and she is far from unique in holding the small buildings close to her heart.
close to her heart. Further down the beach is a playground that I have fond memories of playing on when I was younger. This structure is around 25 feet back from the high tide line. As the storm crashed into the Portland area, I watched videos of the playground’s lower levels being submerged underwater. My social media feeds were covered with videos from up and down the coast of normally high and dry parts of the coast being covered in water. Not even a week prior to this storm, another had hit Maine. Rain quickly melted most of what was left from our first real snow storm and winds upward of 50 mph crashed into coastal towns. Again, seawaters rose and chaos ensued as the ocean swelled up. The day after the storm, streets were covered with downed branches and toppled trash bins. Across the state, thousands of citizens were left without power. Within one week, two massive abnormal storms hit Maine, a historically temperate and stable state. Weather events like this used to feel rare and special. When I was little, I remember it being a big deal when the remains of a hurricane would reach us in their diminished states, or when we would get a foot of snow in one day. Over the last few years, however, our weather patterns have
become increasingly strange. Last winter, a cold front hit us, setting record-breaking freezing temperatures. Around my home in Portland, temperatures dropped deep into the negatives. Atop Mount Washington in neighboring New Hampshire, a national low windchill record was set of -108.4 degrees Fahrenheit. As I have grown up, I have watched the normally stable climate of Maine become increasingly unpredictable. We have had cold, wet summers and warm, rainy winters. This past summer, I worked at a sleepaway camp. A defining feature of the season was almost nonstop rain. During one rainstorm that lasted almost 36 hours, the puddles rose to a point where one of my 12-yearold campers could submerge himself to his chest. Lobster populations, which are a crucial element of Maine’s fisheries, are moving farther north as the waters around the coast warm. Our ski season is starting later and later every year as snow fall becomes less and less consistent. The ponds in my hometown of Portland now rarely have ice thick enough to support safe skating. I remember thinking that Maine would probably be safe from the destruction brought on by climate change. I used to think that we would mostly be able to live without making major changes to our ways of life. It seems clear now that that is not
Weather events like this used to feel rare and special. When I was little, I remember it being a big deal when the remains of a hurricane would reach us in their diminished states, or when we would get a foot of snow in one day. likely. I feel very strongly that the changing climate is starting to have very noticeable effects on the way I live, and it makes me very sad. I fear that future generations will not be able to share the way that life has been in Maine for hundreds of years. Additionally, I fear that I will slowly lose the Maine that I grew up in. It feels like nothing is going to change in the way we regulate the climate and our planet will continue to decline in health. I feel that it is likely that these crazy storms and weather events will only become more common and more devastating in the coming years.
Image courtesy of Tori Kim ’25. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
FEATURES
Page 8
Student
shares
Noah Duncan Guest Columnist
A
t noon on New Year’s Day, anxious and excited, I boarded a plane to Las Vegas. A few hours later, wandering through an astonishing number of airport slot machines, I set out to find a man named David who was to drive me into the middle of the Mojave Desert. I was bound for a date farm in the remote California wilderness to spend the second half of my winter break. Through an organization called World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (also known by the more fun acronym WWOOF), I was to trade 25-hour workweeks for room and board in an old cabin with a revolving door of other volunteers. That decision, as I tried to explain it to
I tried to take the opportunity to think—to take time for myself, to be introspective, in search of some grand revelation. And afresh with wonder, excited by this new scenery, I did have a wonderful time: brainstorming things to write about, planning for the semester ahead, basking in introspection, letting my mind wander as I hiked. friends over the tail end of last semester, was so often met with incredulity or confusion. And admittedly, it was a strange thing to do. I was going alone, to somewhere remote I had never been, to live with strangers that, for all I knew, could have been insane. But as an impressionable young person with a decidedly undecided future, I wanted to take the opportunity to do some good old-fashioned soul-searching. What do I even want from college, anyway? What do I want to do with my life? Once I got the idea in my head, the adventure was hard to turn away from. I hoped that fresh scenery and a fresh lifestyle, at least for a week or two, might be the key to some grand revelation about life and my purpose in it—or, at least, to some new inspiration or motivation to bring to spring semester. I spent weekday mornings sorting, packing and harvesting dates, or, most painfully, trimming and tying up spike-covered date palms. Free afternoons and weekends were often spent hiking—and for a bornand-raised East Coaster like me, the Mojave might as well have been Mars. Rocky basins, decorated with the occasional driedout bush, gave way to impossibly tall gorges, cliffs so imposing they gave you vertigo. All was rock and sand and sky, in this delicate balance between peace and majesty. I spent countless hours off-trail exploring slot canyons and waterfalls, desert steppe and gravelly mountaintops, sand dunes and old mine shafts. Even after two weeks, with the terrain made familiar, the landscape felt no less ridiculous. I tried to take the opportunity to think— to take time for myself, to be introspective, in search of some grand revelation. And afresh with wonder, excited by this
thoughts
new scenery, I did have a wonderful time: brainstorming things to write about, planning for the semester ahead, basking in introspection, letting my mind wander as I hiked. I journaled, found places to sit down and read and reveled in the warm silence of the desert. I enjoyed that time alone, and would have been perfectly content if moments like that were the highlight of my trip. But thinking back on it now, one moment stands out: one morning, picking dates with the other volunteers, we all decided to climb a mountain. Rainbow Mountain was the tallest thing around. Its brightly striped rock faces glared across the canyonlands, providing tons of photo fodder for the farm’s steady stream of day-trippers. In the early afternoon, we started our ascent, craning our necks at the foot of the mountain. For a few hours, we scrambled up rock faces, avoiding loose rocks and cacti alike. We hiked around towering boulders, sinkholes and cliffs; the entire time swapping stories, slightly out of breath. I remember the hike up; I remember the incredible view when we finally reached the top. But when I think of that day, I remember those conversations more than anything else. I was not expecting my trip out West to be a social one: I came out alone, was planning to hike alone and had prepared myself for that experience. But that hike—swapping stories and making jokes—inspired a more genuine effort on my part to get to know the people around me. I met a former professional opera singer of 20 years, seeking community in farming as a way to try something new. I met a kind man in his 30s who spent his years off the grid doing work-exchange programs across the Americas, crafting his clothes by hand. I met a guy in his 20s slowly traveling south from Idaho, bound for Mexico and wherever else the wind blew him. In the early evenings, as the sunset cast a sleepy spell over the valley, we would often read together by the fireplace before heading to bed. I got to know so many people whose paths, for one reason or another, brought them to the desert—seeking escape, solace, knowledge, peace. In those interactions, on the trail and the farm alike, I felt a radical, unique genuineness. Maybe it was something about the desert itself: that breathtaking, expansive scenery; that sleepy little canyon where life moves so slowly. I felt like the landscape had this unique power. Its motionlessness and silence made life stand still, as mileslong expanses of nothing made space itself so wide and so narrow all at once. I understand now why artists have so often retreated to the desert for artistic inspiration, and why its landscape is so often treated with an almost-spiritual reverence. Then again, maybe it was the people. I found this charming wackiness in everyone I met—after all, you have to be at least a little insane to live that far out, myself included. Everyone there had quirks and embraced them, and maybe that was what made that community so earnest and open. Out there, pretensions were gone. There was no need to seem cool, and everyone met you where you were. You stopped pretending. And at the same time, everyone had their own story to tell—the kind of person on a date farm in the middle of nowhere tended to be the kind of person who had been to plenty of other strange places, who had done interesting things, who had plenty of things to say and advice to give. I did my best to soak up all of it that I could. Rarely do we get the chance to so openly connect with people
from
that have such vastly different and fascinating life experiences, and I felt intensely grateful for the opportunity. If, as college students, we are meant to start charting our own courses on this metaphorical sea of adulthood, hearing those experiences has to be vital. Now in the throes of a new yet familiar
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
January 25, 2024
the
desert
routine, it is easy to think of the desert like a dream: interesting, unique, but easily fading into a foggy past. I hope it changed me, though, and I think it did. If nothing else, this semester I hope I can learn to foster more of the joyful genuineness I found there—to channel the warmth of that sunbaked community as much as I can.
Image courtesy of Noah Duncan ’27.
Image courtesy of Noah Duncan ’27.
HUMOR
January 25, 2024
Page 9
Breaking News
From the desk of Nicholas Tillinghast, Humor Editor
“We’re saving the environment,” says college that just shot a thousand deer Fifty
things
Josie Wenner Spaced Out
I
n 1977, the Voyager mission launched. Two probes exited the Earth, never to return, with the intention of making it as far as possible across the universe, transmitting data to NASA along the way. Each probe has a golden record disc containing greetings from 55 languages, an assortment of music, sounds of nature, a message from Jimmy Carter and scientific images of humans, animals and nature, including human anatomy. The Voyager records encapsulate the human experience as best they can, serving as a way for potential extraterrestrial life to learn who we are. However, that was 47 years ago. Humanity has changed a lot since then, and I believe the Voyager record could be updated to show those changes. Here are my top picks: 1. Images of human anatomy showing us with large spikes and armor (we need to make the aliens think we are strong and impenetrable) 2. The Fall of Jake Paul 3. Timothée Chalamet/boygenius SNL Troye Sivan 4. Ping pong 5. The Monica Lewinsky scandal 6. “Party in the U.S.A.” 7. “Vampire Empire” on Barack Obama’s 2023 top songs 8. COVID-19 pandemic 9. Trader Joe’s 10. Twitter to X transition
the
golden
11. Vapes 12. Cool Math Games 13. Kelly Osbourne on “The View” 14. Lady Gaga’s meat dress 15. Coachella 16. Situationships 17. “Euphoria” Sundays 18. Jan. 6 insurrection (including Meemaw at the Capitol) 19. Pronouns 20. Tween girl teal 21. Denim on denim 22. “Mr. Brightside” 23. The renaissance of the word “cunt” 24. Eavesdropping 25. “The Hunger Games” but make them think it’s a documentary 26. Watergate 27. Ice Spice 28. “Glee” (special focus on Grilled Cheesus, Rocky Horror, and Smooth Criminal) 29. “Harry Potter” and the fall of J.K. Rowling 30. Wattpad 31. My birthday (so they know when to send a card) 32. Limericks 33. Letterboxd freaks 34. Hamsters always dying in incredibly traumatic ways 35. Barbenheimer 36. Quentin Tarantino’s foot fetish 37. 0.5 pictures vs. selfie sticks 38. Wikipedia 39. Men holding fish in Tinder profiles
record
missed
out
on
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. 40. Manic pixie dream girls 41. “Community” paintball episodes 42. When people say, “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” 43. “High School Musical 2” (special focus on Bet On It) 44. Halloween
45. Microbangs 46. The liberal arts 360 47. Pushing on doors marked “pull” 48. Horse girls 49. That video of Lorde shushing her audience 50. Punch buggy game
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Page 10
HUMOR
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
January 25, 2024
January 25, 2024
HUMOR
Page 11
Retreat’s food will be super ultra hot soon enough Nicholas Tillinghast Hungry Man
[An announcement from Jordan Gorgonzola, Head of Vassar Dining] e’ve been receiving a lot of feedback (whining) about the sorry state of Retreat this past semester. Things like, “Oh, this food is so room temperature, and in some cases, COLD. Gosh, my sensitive little teeth can’t handle such foods!” or “What the frick? When are they gonna bring back the hot food to warm my cold, impatient heart!” Some of you have gained a religious fervor about the whole thing, endlessly praying for the return of hot food. Rest assured, Vassar Dining is the one true God, and we will provide for our people on Feb. 7. If there’s one thing that you take from our email announcement, it’s that our new hot food at Retreat will burn the shit out of your mouth. You’ll be saying, “Oh, YOWZA! I didn’t expect such heat from
W
“Some of you have gained a religious fervor about the whole thing, endlessly praying for the return of hot food. Rest assured, Vassar Dining is the one true God, and we will provide for our people on Feb. 7.” this pizza burger!” Your mouth won’t know
real heat until you bite into our new chicken nuggets and suffer third degree burns on the roof of your mouth. It will be hot as shit. An ambulance will be parked outside of Retreat for the entire first week. While we have gained back our typical heating implements, we’re also experi-
“One wrong mix up and you’ll be saying, ‘Why is this Caesar salad making me feel way more productive and also incredibly anxious?’” menting with flame-grills. BK-style. Making Whoppers, but not Whoppers. Instead of “have it your way,” it’s “have whatever oddly specific burger type we decide to make for the week” (pizza, pico de gallo, bbq onion ring, donkey sauced etc.). Outside of all that, we’ve also added a new Pepsi machine, so now, there are three at Retreat. I found this most recent one on the side of the highway and didn’t have the heart to just walk by, so I picked it up, brought it to the college and cleaned it up, good as new. Named him Randall. He’s good friends with Clocky the clock. With all these big changes, one thing we are keeping at Retreat is the comment cards, but we’re going to start being a little more curt with our handwritten responses to your problems. Rather than writing back full sentences along the lines of, “I’m sorry you feel this way. But we can’t do anything about it. Hands super tied.” We’re go-
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. ing to shorten down to things like “Okay :)” or “Sorry :P” or “That’s tough :(.” Be grateful we’re even still replying to these stupid things. Now let’s jump over to the other side of the College Center. Express, like the ever elusive McRib, is back. You now can pick up soup or salad, sandwiches and also super salad, our new deceptively caffeinated variety. One wrong mix up and you’ll be saying, “Why is this Caesar salad making me feel way more productive and also incredibly anxious?” In order to make room for the super salad and such in the walk-in closet that is Express, the minimart portions of Express will have a “smaller footprint” (whatever the hell that means). We’ll be real with you
guys. Express as a minimart was a failed experiment. Two years ago, Express was working a little too well, and everybody loved it. So we decided to turn Express into a big old vending machine of stuff you actually had to pay for, and unlike a real vending machine, we had to staff it full-time, despite no one wanting to go to it anyway. You might be saying, ”Well that’s all well and good, but doesn’t Vassar already have vending machines?” And the answer to that is yes. Everywhere. So yeah, in less than two weeks, Retreat is back like a bad habit. You can stop pretending you like the food truck and start digging into your hot Retreat faves once again. Just make sure you blow on them for at least 20 minutes first.
What do religious nuts and Vassar students have in common? Cassandra Brook Clothes-Minded
S
ome call me the fashion scientist. Others call me crazy and intense. When people talk to me, they treat me with respect, saying things like, “What’s wrong with you? Stop touching my shoes.” Or, “Get away. Stop asking me if my skirt is polyester. You don’t need to know that!” Oh, but I do. I need to know everything. From togas to tube tops to too-tight turtlenecks that make you feel like a giraffe and have to be surgically removed at the end of the day to keep your bobblehead from being popped off; fashion is my life. You see, for months I’ve been searching for the ever elusive, ever mysterious formula to Vassar fashion sense. I’ve scanned closets, surveyed students and even taken single socks from the laundry room for experimentation purposes. And finally, I’ve found it: the answer. My formula, my E=mc2, my precious. The formula to Vassar fashion is this: The more liberal a person gets, the more religious they dress. You might be asking, “What do you mean?” “Six months for this flimsy excuse for a scientific answer. Send this guy right back to the nuthouse.”—How’d you know I was scared of Mr. Peanut?—“Someone call Bill Nye to take this over.” Wait, no. I have an explanation. Just let me paint a picture. Imagine a religious person, not just any religious person, but the kind of religious person that would say their favorite curse word is shucks and is often found being shooed away from houses for proselytiz-
ing. Now, imagine a Vassar student walking to the Deece in the snow or walking disappointedly away from the Deece, also in the snow. Did you see it? Did you see how this fashion Venn diagram is actually a circle? In case you didn’t yet get it (imbeciles), let me just explain. What would any Vassar student have in common with a kid like Johannah Faith Duggar from “19 Kids and Counting”? Well, for one, what we in the business like to call vestis, or, in layman’s terms, dresses. Both your favorite Amish dairy farmers and your favorite classmates often don long dresses that show just enough ankle to start a typical 1800s scandal. Or, sometimes students like to switch it up and wear long black maxi skirts that send the message: I’m not mourning, I’m Mormon. For more modern students, loose jeans that tell other people you just freshly finished up herding the pigs are a classic. Not only do Vassar students look like they start their day with a glass of raw eggs from the chicken coop, they also start their day with raw, real fashion. And to cover their feet, Vassar students are often caught wearing big boots that send the messages: “I major in family life at Brigham Young University, and I believe zippers are a sign of vanity.” Do you see my point now? My genius. My infallible formula. They don’t call me the fashion scientist for nothing. Well, now I’m on to crack my next case: What’s under Mr. Peanut’s monocle? I think it’s a pair of tiny binoculars that he uses to stare straight into my soul from thousands of feet away. God, he’s terrifying.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Image courtesy of Benjamin Savel ’26.
HUMOR
Page 12
January 25, 2024
Anna Kozloski/The Miscellany News.
Tim Cook requests help for his struggling small business Benjamin Savel
Keeps the Doctor Away
O
n Dec. 26, 2023, Apple was banned from selling Apple Watches in the United States. Yet just one day later, the ban had been reversed. According to press reports, CEO Tim Cook reversed the ban by simply walking up to the court and saying, “Pretty please?!” An Apple spokeswoman confirmed to The Misc that the “pretty please” did, in fact, include a cherry on top. Tim Cook’s move reversed a ban that had been upheld by the Biden administration. In a statement, President Biden commented with a set of phrases he’s never uttered before: “We are facing an existential threat to our existence. Democracy is at stake. This is a battle for the soul of our nation.” Apple was expected to face severe losses if it could not sell its watches. “We’re just a small, family-owned business with only $500 billion laying around,” Apple spokesperson Munn E. Bags wrote. The company, which currently has assets greater than those of Italy, Russia and Brazil, was worried that it might only be able to make a $120 billion profit instead of a $120.5 billion profit this holiday season.
According to The Washington Post, Apple has requested an even longer reprieve because the company might suffer “irreparable harm” if it can’t sell more watches. When asked about whether union workers might suffer irreparable harm after facing the company’s anti-union tactics, a spokesperson for the company said, “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU.” Asked about Apple’s anti-union tactics, President Biden commented in a follow-up statement, “We are facing an existential threat to our existence. Democracy is at stake. This is a battle for the soul of our nation.” He again assured us he has never, ever said this before. The megacorporation indicated last week that it will use the extra $450 million in holiday sales to pay its factory workers a living wage. “Apple will provide them all a three-bedroom house, an extra $40,000 per year and free transportation,” senior vice president Redd D. Licious stated. “You didn’t really believe that, did you?” Licious added, and then proceeded to burst into a fit of maniacal laughter. Apple has also noted that customers would be devastated if they couldn’t try the new
Images courtesy of Wikimedia Commons/Modified from originals. watches. “The watch now weighs 0.1 grams lighter than the previous version, and we added pretty much nothing else. How could anyone live without it?” President Biden, in a speech, offered some
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
solemn parting words regarding the situation. “We are facing an existential threat to our existence,” he stated. “Democracy is at stake. This is a battle for the soul of our nation.”
January 25, 2024
OPINIONS
Letter to amended
the Editor: complaint
T
tion public. In fact, we requested multiple times that Vassar rescind its demand that we publicize this information, which we consider both unnecessarily divisive and squarely at odds with Vassar’s public claim that it wishes to resolve this case. Unfortunately, Vassar refused our calls for unity and continued to demand that we name names in an amended complaint. Our sole aim in bringing this class action was, and remains, to achieve gender
o Our Valued Colleagues:
We write to address the filing of an amended complaint in the gender discrimination class action against Vassar College, for which we serve as class representatives. Though that amended complaint identifies by name the men Vassar has unlawfully paid more than each of us, we want to make clear that it was Vassar’s choice—not ours—to make that informa-
(Perceived) Zach Silbergleit Guest Columnist
O
n several occasions, I have described Vassar as a “liberal bubble,” and being quite liberal myself, I have had no issue with it. Over break, I had an epiphany and realized just how dangerous that kind of environment is. I realized that this kind of (perceived) ideological hegemony is detrimental to both my mental health and my education. The reason I say “(perceived) ideological hegemony” is because I believe that there might be a greater diversity of opinions at Vassar than we think, but people usually keep them to themselves, and for very understandable reasons. Ideological hegemony is very alluring when your personal beliefs are aligned with the “norm.” However, we live in an ever-changing world, and different issues will pop up. It is here where ideological hegemony became bad for my mental wellbeing. My views regarding a vast majority of issues fit the (perceived) dominant viewpoints on campus, but my views on a select few issues seem like dissenting opinions. Because there is such ideological hegemony, I began to feel like I was in hostile territory, and furthermore, that sharing my views would result in feeling even more ostracized. This caused all sorts of negative and toxic emotions. I felt uneasy knowing
ideological I would have to walk on eggshells during certain discussions. Another issue with ideological hegemony on college campuses is that class discussions frequently consist of compliments rather than arguments. Debate is healthy however ideological hegemony discourages it by creating a climate which encourages conformity. I also felt resentment toward the people whose views aligned with the ideological hegemony because they didn’t have to worry about feeling ostracized. Then I felt sadness when I realized just how toxic ideological hegemony is. I felt worse when I realized that as awful as I felt, only a select few opinions put me in that position. It must be way worse for the closeted conservatives on campus. In addition to the negative impact on my mental health, I believe ideological hegemony is bad for my (and your) education. This might be the philosophy major in me, but I believe that, especially at a liberal arts school, education should be about more than rote memorization of the same facts. We should also learn about different ways of thinking and different ideologies. Ideological hegemony discourages this. In almost every class I take, I can predict certain components. Talk about x, be sure to mention y and take a jab at z and everyone (professor included) will nod and smile (and occasionally snap their fingers). There should not be an algorithm for class discus-
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Professors speak on of discrimination equity for Vassar’s female full faculty. We regret that, as part of that effort, Vassar demanded that we identify some of you by name. Please know that we remain steadfastly committed to working alongside each of you in our shared objective to serve the entire Vassar community. Signed,
Maria Höhn, Professor Emerita of History Mia Mask, Professor of Film Cindy Schwarz, Professor of Physics Debra Zeifman, Professor of Psychological Science
Wendy Graham, Professor and Chair
hegemony
of English
is
sions. To be clear: I never lie during class discussions, but I will sometimes choose to emphasize certain parts of my argument over others. We should expect our views to be challenged by some, but also supported by others, and ideological hegemony can only ever provide one of those at any given time, which is why I sometimes bottle up parts of my views. We should be able to say the full extent of what we feel as long as we use rational arguments and do not devolve into malice or bigotry. Furthermore, a seeming lack of diversity of opinions is in direct opposition to several of the main goals of a Vassar education. Our education is supposed to prepare us to be future citizens and leaders of the world. The world is not a liberal bubble. People need to be prepared to receive pushback for their views, but due to the climate on campus, many people are scared to push back. This could result in an inability to healthily and respectfully reject or respond to pushback once one enters the real world. Everyone should feel safe on campus, but everyone should expect respectful pushback on some of their views. Ideological hegemony does little to prepare you for the diversity of opinions that exist in the real world. We are also freethinking individuals. We should have exposure to as many different beliefs and ideologies so we can decide for ourselves which we agree with most .
dangerous There is another way perceived ideological hegemony stands in direct contrast with some of Vassar’s goals. Ideological Hegemony can also be described as a severe lack of diversity of opinions. Any efforts to promote equity and inclusion will seem incomplete if there is no diversity of opinion. We should absolutely want students of different backgrounds represented on campus. After all, the world is multifaceted, with so many different groups of people. However, the world is also filled with varying viewpoints. Vassar should make an effort to represent this on campus too. Fixing this problem requires us to change the campus culture, which is quite difficult. You cannot really recruit students based on their viewpoints. However, I do believe there are ways we can challenge ideological hegemony. Vassar should invite more conservative leaning guest speakers and hire more conservative leaning professors. We might disagree with most of their views, but I believe we can still benefit from understanding them. As long as they are not jerks or bigots, anyone should be welcome to come here and teach us about their experiences and ideologies. We should also emphasize how to have respectful disagreements during orientation. This could help to ease the discomfort people feel when they want to share their views, but are scared because they know their opinion is unpopular.
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
OPINIONS
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Stop
signs
Britt Andrade Columnist
W
elcome back everyone. I hope your break was amazing. As we come back to campus, we are focused on settling back into our routines, our classes and our lives. However, we are notably not settling back into campus safety. In the one week that Vassar has officially been open for the semester, I personally have witnessed 10 people run stop signs completely without slowing down, another dozen perform a slow and roll through intersections and an obscene number of drivers ignore the posted campus speed limit of 15 mph. Traffic laws on campus can often feel like a suggestion because Vassar is private property and thus local police are not coming on campus to write traffic tickets. It is a lowstakes opportunity to break a rule, especially
are
when you are in a hurry or there is no one in the intersection. But they are not suggestions. They are safety rules written in blood by other people’s tragedies. Driving, like many other life skills, is one that heavily involves muscle memory. I am sure the drivers on this campus have experienced a moment where they cannot remember if the last three lights were green or not, but they must have been, because traffic is moving like normal. The muscle memory you have developed as a driver ensures your safety. What happens when your muscle memory of driving is full of reckless choices? What happens if you crash your car or hit someone? According to the Department of Transportation (DOT), if you hit a pedestrian at 15 mph, which, again, is the posted campus speed limit, the probability of being seriously
not injured is eight percent. If you are going 30 mph, that probability jumps to 48 percent. That is a 40-percentage point jump in risk of serious injury to the pedestrians of Vassar—a percentage that could increase depending on the pedestrian struck. Based on body size, age, disability and countless other factors, certain members of our community are at an even greater risk of serious injury or death. I have especially noticed the stop signs being run are the two stop signs located between Kenyon Hall and Wimpfheimer Nursery School; I notice because I drop my son off there every day. I park in the Kenyon parking lot and then I walk my two-year-old child across the street to the daycare. Every day, I have seen someone run those stop signs in an attempt to get through the intersection before a parent or a child gets to the crosswalk. I understand being in a rush or being impatient,
January 25, 2024
suggestions but is it worth hitting someone? This is not a student-exclusive issue; this is a campus wide issue. Just because a Vassar golf cart or maintenance cart can go up to 30 mph does not mean it should. Just because a golf cart or maintenance cart does not have a license plate does not mean they get to dismiss stop signs. Campus vans should not be driving so quickly that it is obvious they are going over the speed limit. Security vehicles should not be rolling through stop signs to avoid getting stuck in the 11:45 a.m. class switch traffic. We lead by example and that means driving safely. It means being late to class if it means getting there safely. Slow down and stop at the stop signs. We all want to make it to graduation, so let’s get there slowly and steadily, like the proverbial turtle, instead of missing out completely, like the hare.
Media bias is dividing us and that needs to be known Soren Fischer Columnist
F
reedom of the press in the United States gives us the privilege to consume a multitude of different sources. However, with the great variety of media outlets, bias is a considerable variable that shapes how they report that information and what topics they cover. Media bias, simply put, is the intentional or unintentional distortion of news that favors a certain ideology. You are not reading this article for factbased information provided by, for example, Reuters, but rather for commentary on a subject matter that does not claim to be objective or free of bias. Frankly, everyone has a bias, and that is fine. Purely unbiased news does not exist, and bias exists in every way, even if we do not want to acknowledge it. However, when bias is deliberately hidden for the purpose of furthering an agenda, it is manipulative, misleading and creates further division. According to a Gallup/Knight Foundation survey from 2018, the vast majority of Americans have lost trust in the media, and the bias that is attached to media is a factor in this loss of trust. It is a perilous time for journalism, and the way that media outlets deliver news requires them to walk a fine line between facts and propa-
ganda. Hyper-partisan media that may actively seek to further divide the public can leave a misconstrued opinion about what journalists are trying to achieve, which is to inform people so that they may form their own opinions. Navigating different forms of media is an important skill for obtaining the kind of information that every individual should have, and consuming a variety of news from different perspectives is important to developing a greater acceptance of different viewpoints, which might make difficult conversations just a little bit easier when you know the other side’s perspective. Getting all of your news from one source is not the best idea, especially when that news outlet has a considerable amount of bias fueling it. Social and political commentary websites and shows generally have strong bias because they are designed around examining already existing information and arguing on the basis of a certain ideological set. InfoWars and The Palmer Report, owned by Alex Jones and Bill Palmer respectively, are fake news websites that spout propaganda in the forms of conspiracy theories and false claims. These forms of media can sometimes feel like entertainment, and while that is important, it cannot be because of baseless claims that are entirely designed to evoke hatred.
It should be noted that viewpoint diversity is important for successful discourse, but radical indifference that is presented through some media outlets to actively suppress opposition is not helpful for having an effective conversation.
When bias is deliberately hidden for the purpose of furthering an agenda, it is manipulative, misleading and created further division. Most of the media tries very hard to tell stories accurately, but there are many that intentionally do not and have an unwillingness to correct errors. Generally, information can be delivered in the range of fact-based reporting to opinion-based commentary. News, where facts are facts, contrasts with the reality of people always being entitled to their own opinions. Opinions are subjective and facts are objective. Because feelings cannot exactly be proven through evidence,
there is always going to be a question of subjectivity and bias surrounding a claim. People should resort to fact-based news for general education about topics, and let it urge them to develop their own opinions, while opinion-based commentary should be a way for people to compare their own opinions with that of others. According to the National Library of Health, exposure to biased information can have detrimental effects on society, in the form of political polarization and an intolerance of dissent. Unfortunately, there are plenty of media outlets that seek to achieve specifically that, and are making the issue of media trust more difficult, hindering the work of legitimately hard-working journalists. Uncensored discussion is essential for raising awareness of media bias that minimizes ignorance of the truth, the difference between facts and opinions, all while maximizing a balanced news consumption. Following the news can be overwhelming, and navigating it is challenging. Everyone has their own unique way of reading, listening to, or watching the latest story. However, your ability to recognize the way in which a story is being told is an absolute necessity, because the bias that went into crafting it is as important to acknowledge as the bias you bring while consuming it.
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
SPORTS
January 25, 2024
Students
excitedly
Caris Lee
Assistant Sports Editor
A
s the spring semester starts and 20-degree weather welcomes us in, outdoor events like picnicking, hammocking, spike ball, or simply going on a walk have become more daunting and difficult. Though barely an inch of snow blankets the campus, it is enough to partake in debatably the most fun of winter sports—sledding. The Winter Olympics will not be held for another two years, but luckily Vassar’s campus offers a plethora of hills, small and big, for all levels of sledders and for all types of fun. The most popular hill to embark on is Commencement Hill. Located behind Sanders Classroom, you can catch great speed on this hill, and it is wide enough to sled down with a friend. The tricky part comes at the end, where there is a narrow ramp you can potentially squeeze yourself through if you
sled
are particularly skilled at steering. To thread the needle, so to speak, is a laudable feat— metal poles line the ramp along with a row of bushes, so missing the ramp will definitely hurt (I speak from experience here, to which the bruises on my back can attest). Nevertheless, Commencement Hill is a necessary stop and a test of sledding expertise for those daring to try. Adjacent to Commencement Hill is Shakespeare Garden, a more hidden gem for sledding. Beginning toward the left of the staircase, you can start in the middle of the hill for an easy-going experience or at the very top of the hill for a longer ride. If you start at the top of the hill, sledding with two people may be better so that you have more momentum to get down both hills. A white oak tree greets you at the bottom as well as a creek far off enough that you will not sled into it. Though bushes border the right side of the hill, crashing into those are certainly less painful than
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into
new
the obstacles at Commencement Hill (again, spoken from experience). Next on the list is Sunset Lake. This is perhaps one of the steepest hills to sled down on campus, treacherous because the lake at the bottom is not completely frozen over. Hiking up the hill, it is clear that the ride will be fast and adventurous. You can also sled down this hill alongside a buddy for moral support or tandem-style for even more speed. The iciness of the slope will also aid the speed. That said, it is entirely possible to sled into the lake. So, make sure to bail at the right moment, whether that is a few inches from the shore or at least 10 feet away, to ensure the safety of all sledders involved. Scoping the golf course, there are some swells here and there, but nothing worthwhile like the hills above. But another hidden gem is a short but fun hill behind Kenyon Hall. Situated alongside the road above the stream, you begin in between two trees for a
semester
quick and easy ride. This location is one for solo-sledding. You will not gain enough momentum to sled into the stream, and it is wide enough that you cannot sled into the road either. Short and sweet, this is the perfect hill for beginners. The beauty of sledding is the accessibility and diversity of difficulty it offers. The trek up the hill can be a form of exercise of its own, where the view from the top can make the hill look deceptively shallow or steep. The only way to know is by sledding down, screaming or silent, and enjoying the ride. So, whether it is a more leisurely, domestic form of sledding like this and tobogganing or a more serious, competitive form like bobsledding or lugeing, sledding is sure to offer a thrill that can fuel us for the semester ahead. All you need is a hill and a sled—which need not be a traditional sled: The lid of a plastic bin, a piece of plywood, a mattress, a thick coat, even a traffic cone could suffice—and you are off.
Caris Lee/The Miscellany News.
Race
to
Henry France Columnist
T
here has not been a recent postseason where the two top-ranked teams were heavily favored as Super Bowl contenders. This year, the Baltimore Ravens of the American Football Conference (AFC) and San Francisco 49ers of the National Football Conference (NFC) have ended that trend. The two teams earned bye weeks, excusing them from having to compete in the wild-card round, or the first weekend of football playoffs. These two formidable squads are undoubtedly bound to make the Super Bowl. This past week, Baltimore and San Francisco returned to action in the Divisional Round, taking on the Houston Texans and the Green Bay Packers, respectively. Both solidified their standings with victories. Now, Baltimore will host the Buffalo Bills and San Francisco will host the Detroit Lions in two duels certain to elicit some excitement. Still, the Texans’ and Packers’ seasons should both be remembered for a positive turnaround. Both teams finished in the bottom half of their division with under .500 records last season. These squads reoriented their identities this year with new quarterbacks at their helm. Finally removed from Aaron Rodgers’ shadow, Jordan Love excelled in his first season as the leader of the Packers offense. Though he threw a dangerous pass into the heart of the 49ers secondary that ultimately buried the Packers, Love has given Green Bay plenty to be optimistic about. For the Texans, rookie quarterback CJ Stroud was among the stars that shined during wild-card weekend,
the
Super
going 16 for 21 with 274 yards. Stroud was joined by fellow quarterback Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs, who also put on a show. Mahomes and the Chiefs have struggled with a lackluster offense this season. Aside from all-pro tight end Travis Kelce, the Chiefs’ receiving core is basically a blank space. Nevertheless, with 262 passing yards on 23-31 completions, Mahomes made light work of the Miami Dolphins, with help from the Kansas City defense, which only allowed a single score from Miami. The Ravens took care of business against the Texans as quarterback and MVP frontrunner Lamar Jackson continued to dominate, totaling 252 total offensive yards and four touchdowns with 100 yards, along with two touchdowns coming from rushing. The Ravens are poised to steamroll into the Super Bowl, but the Buffalo Bills should pose a challenge to them this weekend. While the Ravens have an excellent defense, their offense is completely reliant on the competence of Jackson. The Ravens lost four games in the regular season. Jackson was utterly lackluster with one touchdown and three interceptions in the three Baltimore losses where he was playing. The takeaway: If Jackson is playing well, there is no stopping Baltimore; when he is not, Baltimore is exposed. Later in the evening, San Francisco flashed some weaknesses in a one-score, 24-21 victory that necessitated a late-game rally and subsequent score from San Francisco. 49ers quarterback Brock Purdy led the NFL this season in yards per passing attempt, with 9.6, but what this stat hides is his short pass and check-down tendencies.
Bowl
Purdy is sixth in the league for air yards—a passing stat that measures a quarterback’s contribution to passing yards by only measuring the yards that the ball travels before it reaches its receiver. The five quarterbacks ahead of Purdy average 7.5 yards per attempt, over two yards fewer per play than their San Francisco counterpart. But, Purdy’s supporting offense has coddled him into becoming one of the leading NFL quarterbacks through their ability to accumulate yards after catch. Purdy’s inexperience could expose the 49ers, but it is hard to count out the star-studded squad at any point. On Sunday night, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers took on the Detroit Lions, followed by an electrifying matchup between the Kansas City Chiefs and Buffalo Bills. Early in the evening, Detroit hosted their first playoff game in decades, and for the first time since 1957, they won two postseason games…and counting. Baker Mayfield had the stage set for a late-game comeback, earning the ball with two minutes left, down by just 8. But Mayfield turned the ball over, effectively ending Tampa Bay’s season. Detroit certainly earned the victory, fighting steadfast in a back-and-forth match. The Lions did not trail the whole game, but the Bucs were always within one score. Each team was tied at the end of the first, second and third quarters as their quarterbacks were dialed in on Sunday night. Mayfield and Lions quarterback Jared Goff combined for 636 total yards and five touchdowns. With the pressure on, Goff’s composure and experience shone through, passing for 131 yards on 11 passes and a touchdown in the fourth quarter. The
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
heats
up
Detroit Lions won 31-23 and will play next weekend against the San Francisco 49ers. Later in the evening, the Buffalo Bills hosted the Kansas City Chiefs in an instant classic. Josh Allen dueled with Mahomes in a game that saw six lead changes, a fourth quarter fake punt, a touchback resulting fumble through the back of the endzone and more. In the end, Buffalo kicker Tyler Bass sealed the loss for the Bills with a missed field goal to tie the game when there was less than two minutes left. The Kansas City Chiefs beat the Buffalo Bills 27-24 to advance to the AFC championship game against the Baltimore Ravens. The Chiefs will be hard to beat as long as Mahomes is playing well—even if his surrounding offense is less than ideal, his link-up with Kelce is powerful, as evidenced by the duo’s 16th playoff touch, passing Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski for playoff hookups between a quarterback and tight end. As Kansas City’s defense and run game get up to speed, they should pose a mighty challenge for the Baltimore Ravens next week. NFL fans saw nothing new these past two weeks: an epic outing from Mahomes, continued domination from the Ravens, impressive young quarterbacks, and of course, Taylor Swift celebrating her boyfriend from a star-studded box. As this weekend cues up two fantastic matchups, both favorites are completely vulnerable to a surprising upset, as each challenging third seed has explosive potential. A string of mistakes from a quarterback or miscues from a defense could quickly land the historically disappointing Detroit Lions or new-look Chiefs a chance to win the Super Bowl.
CROSSWORD
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January 25, 2024
The Miscellany Crossword “Merrily We Go Around” By Sadie Keesbury
ACROSS 1. What cats may sit on, in a rhyme 5. Developmental league for the NHL 8. Bothers with repeated calls or texts 13. Will- _____ -the wisps 14. Henry _____ (British king) 16. Bud 17. Multiple negatives 18. Housing units 19. Online exam 20. Ambulance letters 21. Fruit that should come in twos? 23. Painting or sculpture discipline 24. “How to _____ tie” (pre-gala YouTube search) 26. Basketball/spelling game 27. Aunt in Argentine 28. Data storage spot 30. Surprises 33. Frog’s friend 35. Greek prefix meaning away 36. _____ Lingus, airline 37. _____-Man
40. St. alternatives 41. Not against 42. USA draft organization 43. _____ nutshell 44. America’s Uncle 45. Part of MIT for short 47. Approximately 3.26 light-years 49. Something to be done with papers or looks 52. British bathroom 53. Equus caballus 57. 365.25 days 59. “Uh huh” 60. Fencing sword 61. Enrolling choice at Vassar 62. Steady _____ goes 64. Show that might require one to 25D 66. Volcano in Italy 67. Protest type held on Nov. 29 by Vassar’s Students for Justice in Palestine 68. Fancy title 69. Overflow 70. Narnia’s lion king
71. Midwest winter hours 72. Puts together DOWN 1. “Impression, Sunrise” painter 2. Level for protons or neutrons 3. Hemingway’s “The Old Man and _____” 4. French possessive 5. DuVernay of “Selma” 6. Deadliest land mammal 7. Soda bottle measurement 8. _____/her/hers 9. Root that makes fries 10. North and South continents containing 35 countries 11. Errors 12. Backdrop for 64A 15. Simile setup phrase 22. Answer 25. Pretend 26. Something to take an Advil for 29. Kentucky Derby participant 31. Charley _____ (leg cramp) 32. “r u _____?” (you must be kid-
ding) 34. _____-5, classification of mental disorders 35. “100 Years...100 Movies” org. 37. Domino dot 38. In-depth examination 39. Appropriate place to say the title of this crossword, or what is formed by the colorful clues at this puzzle’s center 46. Attempt 48. Name that means knowledge 50. Complained, as to a friend 51. Deserved, as money 54. Enemies, slangily 55. Religious remains 56. Catalog also known as the “big book” 58. Wanders 62. Mathematician Lovelace or Poet Laureate Limon 63. Letter before oh 65. “Are we there _____???” (car whine) 66. “When are you getting here?”
Category Match by Sadie Keesbury
Answers to last week’s puzzle:
Stuffed _____: ANIMALS, CRUST, PEPPERS, UP
“Out with a bang!”
STRONG
By Sadie Keesbury
When paired with days of weeks, days after
Pixar movies: INSIDE OUT, BRAVE, CARS, SOUL Virtues: KIND, HARDWORKING, BRILLIANT,
Thanksgiving: BLACK, CYBER, SMALL BUSINESS, GIVING MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE