The Miscellany News
Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866
Volume 162 | Issue 8
DONALD TRUMP ELECTED AGAIN
Campus, world stunned by GOP comeback
Says Harris: “The outcome of this election was not what we wanted, not what we fought for, not what we voted for; but hear me when I say the light of America’s promise will always burn bright as long as we never give up and as long as we keep fighting.”
Harris’
defeat stifles
Charlotte Robertson, Sarah McNeil, Makenna Monaghan Editor-in-Chief, News Editors
Campus was quiet on Wednesday morning, Nov. 6.
At 5:34 a.m., the Associated Press declared Donald Trump victorious in Wisconsin, granting him a total of 276 electoral college votes and a second term as President of the United States. He is the first president in American history to be re-elected after impeachment, the first president to be impeached twice and the second president to take a nonconsecutive second term.
Most news outlets predicted that the presidency would not be announced for several days due to the volume of mail-in and absentee ballots, as was the case for the 2020 presi-
Democratic optimism in 2024 election
dential election. Even so, students gathered in dorm rooms, Gordon Commons, apartment complexes, off-campus houses and The Misc office to watch the race on election night. VassarVotes, a division of the Office of Community Engaged Learning, sponsored a screening of election coverage in the Villard Room, which drew a crowd of around 70. Across the hall in the Rose Parlor, the Forum for Political Thought hosted a discussion space; the Women’s Center and the LGBTQ+ Center held safe spaces.
Pre-election polls shifted daily, reflecting razor-thin margins in the seven battleground states. Data from The New York Times Presidential Poll showed Vice President and Democratic candidate Kamala Harris pulling ahead in Michigan and Wisconsin, Trump pulling ahead in Arizona and Georgia, and the two
candidates tied in Pennsylvania, Nevada and North Carolina. By Wednesday, Trump either won or was leading in every battleground state. The GOP also claimed control over the Senate. Control over the House of Representatives remains undeclared, with the GOP in the lead.
“Even with the emotional preparation I did for this moment, I feel personally betrayed by my state right now,” Lily Anninger ’25 wrote to The Miscellany News. Anninger voted by absentee ballot in Pennsylvania. “My home let me down, and put me and countless others in danger,” she continued.
Based on self-reports from students, Dorm Voting Advisors (DVAs) for Noyes House Calder Beasley ’26 and Talia Yustein ’26 determined that the majority of Vassar students
VSA passes VWash stipend bill Raymond House haunts
Julian Balsley Columnist
OnNov. 3, the Vassar Student Association (VSA) Senate unanimously passed the VWash Expansion Bill to increase the VWash stipend granted to students on Work Study. The resolution raises the stipend from $33 to $46.80 per semester. Non-Work-Study students do not receive VWash.
To increase VWash, the College is decreasing all students’ VPrint stipend by $10 per semester, from $32.50 to $22.50, whether or not they have Work Study. The increase to $46.80 is meant to allow students to wash and dry one load of laundry per week; the College will add $3.80 per student to the $10 from VPrint to reach $46.80. The bill will take effect in the Spring 2025 semester following final approval by College administration.
VSA Senator Ian Saunders ’28, who authored the bill, ran his campaign partially on securing a VWash increase. “This is my number one priority,” he said in an interview. “I knew I wanted to do this since the beginning and now, like, seeing it is, it’s good. It feels nice.” Saunders sits on the Student Financial Affairs Committee (SFAC), which had to approve the bill before it reached the Senate.
VSA Senator Mila Seifert ’26 said, “It’s just a huge win that finally we have an allocation that equals one wash and one dry a week, like
4 ARTS
Design Editor Molly Delahunty explores the craft of costuming in Vassar’s “Men on Boats.”
that is a huge pro.”
In February 2022, the VSA Senate passed the Vassar Washing Allocation for Student Health (VWash) Act, which gave WorkStudy students $33 per semester for laundry costs. Despite an increase in the laundry price from $1.60 to $1.80 in the Fall 2024 semester, students’ VWash stipend did not increase. The Expansion Bill includes a proportional increase in VWash for every increase in the cost of laundry; the VWash Act did not. “I also am really happy that we negotiated for a proportional increase as the cost of laundry increases,” Seifert remarked. “That is huge, because that means that we’re not gonna have to keep going back every year that this increases and talk to administration to be like, ‘Give us more money.’”
The VWash Act calculated that if students did one load of laundry each of the 30 weeks of the school year—at the time, $3.20 total— it would cost $96 per year. The Miscellany News reported in 2022 that College administration began with a pitch for a $40 allocation per year; the VSA and administrators negotiated to $66 per year, or $33 per semester. The Expansion Bill will increase yearly VWash to $93.60—one wash and one dry per week for 26 weeks instead of 30. In an email, Saunders clarified, “The new VWash system was proposed by the college, not by VSA/ SFAC. They determined all the numbers and
Features Editor Yaksha Gummadapu investigates Vassar’s latest plague: the messenger bag. 7 FEATURES
Sydney Mize Guest Reporter
After the thrill and chaos of Vassar’s official Halloweekend ended with a screeching halt, a fun tradition crept back into the limelight: the annual Raymond House Haunted House. The event took place on Oct. 29 and 30 from 7 to 9 p.m. Through creepy crawlies and jumpscares, Raymond House has long made its claim to fame through yearly hauntings in their infamous basement. Joselyne Segura ’28 noted, “I first heard about it on my tour of Vassar on Admitted Students Day, and it was something that notably defined Raymond.” Students came out in droves to see what the House Team had in store for them this year, waiting in long lines just for the chance to participate in a three-to-four minute haunted house experience.
Their excitement was palpable. Francesca Papetti ’28 said, “I had heard about the haunted house and thought it sounded like a lot of fun and very on theme for Halloween.” Some, however, just wanted to know if it would live up to the hype. Lyla Crispe ’28 speculated, “It sounded intriguing, and I wanted to see if it was going to be shit or not.” Others just followed the crowds—Quin Vanderberg ’28 reasoned, “All of my friends were going, and it sounded very fun.”
This year’s theme was entitled “Biohaz-
ard: A Haunted House,” leaving much to the imagination without subjecting yourself to the experience. Segura clarified, “The theme was something along the lines of a rat infestation, and we were given a green spray bottle at the beginning to supposedly fight off the rats.” The bottles, however, were criticized for being mere props and served to confuse guests. Crispe added, “There was a rat infestation, and we had to shoot the infestation with shitty spray bottles that didn’t have liquid in it.” However, the costumes were on theme; Segura added, “The actors’ costumes matched with the theme though; they had rat or exterminator outfits.”
There were many tactics at play to scare the hauntees this year, including anything from creepy noises to contortions. Papetti said, “There were a bunch of actors who jumped out and screamed. There were also some actors who were stationary either in a contorted position or making creepy noises.” Crispe concurred, “They jumped out at you, made weird body movements. One girl was twisted out on the floor.” Segura made note of the scenery that added to the effect: “The dim lighting allowed for actors to come out and jump-scare you unexpectedly. There would also be a lot of loud noises and doors banging.”
The most important hope of anyone making their way into a haunted house is that
Guest columnist Willem Doherty analyzes the Oarsmen’s win in the Intramural Volleyball season.
Sarah McNeil/The Miscellany News.
THE MISCELLANY NEWS
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Charlotte Robertson
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Sarah McNeil
Makenna Monaghan
Emma Adams
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Yaksha Gummadapu
Luke Jenkins
Soren Fischer
Lev Winickoff
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Nicholas Tillinghast
Josie Wenner
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Molly Delahunty
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Mundy-Mancino
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CORRECTION POLICY
The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Vassar community reacts to 2024 election results
voted by mail in their home states, though there is no empirical evidence backing this claim yet.
For those registered to vote in Poughkeepsie, the Aula was open from 6 a.m. until 9 p.m. on Election Day. Approximately 500 voters, most of whom were Vassar students, gathered to cast their ballots—a record-high turnout. This was the first time the Aula poll site was open for a presidential election.
“As my first time voting in person, the Aula was a great place to vote. The poll workers were friendly and made the process as seamless as possible,” said Matthew Graham ’25. Like many students at Vassar, this was the first time he was eligible to vote in a presidential election.
The 2024 Presidential race has proved unprecedented from the start, when incumbent President Joe Biden decided to end his bid for reelection in July and endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris for the Democratic ticket. Harris became the first woman of color to be the nominee of a major-party’s nominee in August.
In her bid for presidency, Harris focused on women’s health issues, in particular, the pledge to restore the federal right to abortion as protected by Roe, which was overturned in 2022. But the centerpiece of her campaign was her opposition to Project 2025, a set of proposals put forth by the Heritage Foundation, a right-wing think tank. While Trump has not endorsed the document, it was written by a collection of Trump’s former advisers.
The Republican party began the election cycle in a crowded race with 13 candidates; however, eight withdrew before the primaries began. Four candidates, Nikki Haley, Ron DeSantis, Asa Hutchinson and Vivek Ramaswamy all withdrew during the primaries, leaving Former President Donald Trump with the nomination as of March 12, 2024. Since then, the campaign has promised mass deportations, stricter immigration laws and several iterations of tax cuts. Trump has also vowed to end the war in Ukraine and cut fed-
eral funding to schools that teach critical race theory and transgender rights issues.
Although the presidential race loomed large, Vassar students demonstrated significant interest in local elections, as well. “I believe that the most important aspect of voting in a state such as New York, which will certainly go democratic in the presidential race, is the opportunity to vote for change at a local level,” Graham commented. This year, New York was considered a crucial battleground state in the race to control the House of Representatives; in a major upset, Republicans flipped four congressional seats in the 2022 election. Local elections in Poughkeepsie held particular significance; the city sits within the 18th congressional district, one of six major swing districts in New York.
“Poughkeepsie is a swing district and the race for the House runs right through New York so there’s a lot to be done here!” Mikayla DaSilva ’28, a DVA from Main, shared in a written statement to The Miscellany News
Tuesday night, Pat Ryan, the incumbent Democrat candidate, was reelected to Congress, defeating Republican contender Alison Esposito with 56.6 percent of the vote, according to the Associated Press. Congressman Ryan was elected in 2022 after an August special election in the 19th congressional district. After a redistricting process in 2022, Ryan ran in the 18th congressional district in the general election and won against the Republican candidate Colin Schmitt.
Propositions on the Poughkeepsie ballot include Proposition 1, also referred to as the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) and Proposition 2, a proposal for the 2025 Library District budget. The ERA amendment, the only statewide proposal on the New York ballot, passed Tuesday Night. The amendment will expand protections in New York’s constitution and add protections against unequal treatment based on ethnicity, national origin, age, disability and sex, including sexual orientation, gender identity and pregnancy, as well as reproductive healthcare and autonomy. Multiple students commented on the importance of voting locally, specifically not-
ing Prop 1 as a motive for changing their voter registration to Poughkeepsie. After voting, Molly Delahunty ’26 [Disclaimer: Delahunty is a Design Editor for The Miscellany News] said, “I think it was really important for me to vote in Poughkeepsie this election because there wasn’t a lot of variety in the votes my own hometown was receiving.”
Over the course of Election Day, campus buzzed with a mixture of emotions. Some students expressed excitement and optimism, like Isabel Auerbach ’27: “I feel like people in general, at least the people I’ve spoken to and the things that I’ve seen from the people’s posts online is that people seem pretty excited to vote,” she shared. Others were anxious, like Genevieve Reoch ’27: “I am nervously hopeful to see what happens.” Still others were generally dissatisfied with the presidential ticket, particularly regarding the subject of the ongoing Israeli military assault on Gaza and escalation into Lebanon. “I have felt very uneasy about this election because I do not feel that I see my values represented in either candidate, and I am deeply involved in organizing around Palestine and do not feel hope that either candidate will end the genocide of Palestinians that has been ongoing for over a year,” explained Kelly Fagel ’25.
After the presidency was announced, it was unclear what would come next on campus. In an email announcement, President of the College Elizabeth Bradley urged the Vassar community to support one another: “Our interconnectedness is at the core of our humanity.” Some professors continued with business as usual, while others tweaked their schedules. In his Intermediate Latin class, Professor Del Maticic, Blegen Fellow in Greek and Roman Studies, supplied donuts and led his students in a conversation about how the Roman poet Lucretius might have reacted to the 2024 election. “We did some translation and recitation, but really we just used the discussion of literature as a way to process grief, process fear,” he said in an interview with The Miscellany News.
Sofia Cummins ’26 spent her “Adolescent in American Society” class period participat-
ing in a series of mindfulness activities, including somatic exercises and a prayer circle. At one point, each student was asked to drop a note about their feelings into a bag, which her professor plans on burning later this evening. “A lot of people talked about missing home and feeling like they’re reliving this experience, but being in college and having it feel really different than it did in sixth or seventh grade,” she said in an interview.
With the exception of Nevada, which voted blue in the 2016 election, Trump’s victory map over Harris is identical to his victory map over Hillary Clinton. Unlike in 2016, Trump won the popular vote along with the electoral vote.
“In 2016, a lot of people were really shocked. A lot of people were trying to explain ‘why Trump,’” said Braeden Ingram ’25, a political science major who specializes in comparative politics. “I think this time around, there’s a different question that needs to be asked, and it’s ‘why is Trump’s movement so popular?’”
Charles Spencer ’27 hypothesized that Harris’ loss can be attributed to voters’ frustrations with the current White House’s economic policies: “I think ultimately, the big reason Trump won the election is that people still see Kamala as part of the current governmental establishment…and people do not feel like this current administration is doing a good job at driving down prices, driving down inflation,” he said in an interview.
Another student, Alex Southern ’27, argued that Harris over-prioritized appealing to Republican voters: “[W]e have seen that she couldn’t really pull any voters away from Trump that Biden hadn’t already pulled.”
Harris addressed the nation at 4 p.m. EST conceding the election and encouraging a peaceful transition of power. Her message was one of hope rather than despair: “Please know it’s going to be okay. On the campaign, I would often say, when we fight, we win. But here’s the thing, here’s the thing—sometimes, the fight takes a while. That doesn’t mean we won’t win.”
Trump is slated to take office on Jan. 20, 2025.
VPrint stipend decreases to bolster VWash funds
Continued from VPrint on page 1
proposed them upfronting the $3.80 needed to reach the $46.80 and we agreed with what they proposed.”
The Expansion Bill notes that the original proposal was to combine students’ VWash and VPrint funds. However, the College does not budget for students to spend all $32.50 of their VPrint funds. VSA Senator and SFAC Chair Charles From ’25 said, “As we learned through these conversations, the College only allocates $10 per student.” The bill states, “Combining these funds would result in both Work-Study and non-Work-Study students having less overall spending power than the current model.”
The bill states, “On average, students spend around $10/semester from their VPrint.” From said of students who use their full VPrint fund, “They’d still be able to use it, like the College would find the money somewhere, because they did allocate it, but the finance people would be in trouble.” By decreasing VPrint, the College has cut its budgeting deficit in half. “They’re still $10 off, but now it’s not 20 anymore,” Saunders explained.
Another proposal that the College considered was to include laundry in tuition. From commented, “That’s seen as the ideal solution. That’s what we want.” Saunders noted, “We’re the only one of the Seven Sister
schools that still charges for laundry.”
According to From, this system would add about $100 to housing costs, which would be subject to financial aid. “While, yeah, that 100 extra dollars is more than the one wash, one dry a week standard, it would also mean you could do unlimited amounts of laundry,” From noted. Referring to the weekly one wash, one dry standard, the 2022 VWash Act states, “On average it is necessary for students to complete more than one load of laundry each week resulting in costs far exceeding $96.”
When asked why free laundry was rejected in Expansion Bill discussions, VSA senators expressed that the administration is worried about Vassar’s high tuition. According to U.S. News and World Report, Vassar is the country’s third-most expensive private college as of Fall 2024. “They’re really trying to avoid an increase in tuition…the administration is very concerned with the tuition as it stands, because, comparatively speaking, it’s way higher than our standard sibling institutions,” Seifert stated. “So I think they’ll do anything they can to keep that low.” From explained, “The College, from what we’ve heard, doesn’t want to become a six-figure institution. They don’t want tuition to go above $100,000.”
Vice President for Finance and Administration Bryan Swarthout, who was involved
in the bill’s discussions, did not respond to a request for comment. Associate Dean of the College for Campus Activities Dennis Macheska wrote in an email, “My capacity in these conversations has been more supportive than someone who is able to make changes or implement something new by the College,” but did not respond to follow-up questions.
“We’re still pushing, most definitely pushing for free laundry,” said From. SFAC is currently drafting a petition for a free laundry model. Saunders explained, “Even though this has passed, we’re still continuing conversations with administration. We’re petitioning our class. We’re getting more research about peer schools and seeing what they do and how we can apply it here.”
Saunders doesn’t think the bill’s passage has halted free laundry discussions. “I think
with student support, with support from some administrators, if possible, with the good research that we have going on right now, I think it is kind of hard to ignore,” he commented.
Students interviewed by The Miscellany News supported the increase in VWash but would prefer laundry to be included in tuition. Norah Miller ’28 said, “If it’s subject to financial aid, then I feel like…that makes the most sense. It sounds the most fair.” Dylan Berman ’28 stated, “Proportionally to the rest of the money I’m already spending for this, it makes no difference.”
Saunders articulated, “I see this as not a direct win, but definitely a very good stepping stone to continue these conversations with the College to try and push for this one-time fee, free laundry that many other schools have.”
Image courtesy of Natalie Sang ’27.
ARTS
Costume shop brings creative precision to ‘Men on Boats’
Molly Delahunty Design Editor
Theatergoers have the privilege of viewing a final, polished piece. Being one of these aforementioned theatergoers, I was able to sit back, relax and enjoy my top-row seat on my first-ever visit to Vassar’s Powerhouse Theater last Friday night to see “Men on Boats.” After an unusually warm trek from the THs, I looked forward to watching a story unravel in front of me. Thankfully, not only did the actors deliver, but the set and costumes perfectly situated the characters in their 1869 expedition.
“Men on Boats,” a play written by Jaclyn Backhaus, follows 10 explorers led by the one-armed John Wesley Powell (Madelyn
Ockner ’25) on their government-sanctioned expedition across the American West. Beginning on the Colorado River, the crew travels to and through the Grand Canyon, naming landmarks and mapping land, with Powell recording their experiences in his journal. As they navigate uncharted territory, the explorers must simultaneously sail through the challenges of friendship and leadership, rapidly depleting rations and rough boating conditions. The production spotlighted senior project members Kaila Dunn ’25 (Old Shady), Ockner (John Powell) and director Yining Shang ’25. As I myself have never (and will never) possess the talent and skill required to perform on stage, behind-the-scenes creative
direction such as tech, makeup, costume and set production has always interested me. I spoke with Emma Raff ’26, one of the 11 talented costume technicians for the production. Raff initially began working in Vassar’s costume shop, directed by Coordinator Leigh Davis and Senior Lecturer in Drama, Professor Kenisha Kelly, to further develop her knowledge of fashion and the process of clothes-making. While she continues to learn the arts of tailoring, draping and fashion design, she notes: “What I’ve really learned is the most exciting about that job is the world-building of the productions we’re working on.”
This world-building is not a small task. Most Vassar students use early September to greet their friends and settle into new routines, classes and housing. Alternatively, costume designer Laurel Obermueller ’26 and the costume shop technicians began their semester by making a story come alive through fabric. Raff mentioned her love of the collaborative nature of the costume-making process and detailed a general timeline.
The costume designer first fabricates their conception of clothing for the production based on script analysis, functionality, historical accuracy and aesthetic, among other factors. Shop technicians then receive direction regarding the technical aspects of the garment they are to construct and snippets of background information on the character and their circumstances. The techs rotate working on various costume pieces based on their shifts and what needs to be done. Over the last two and a half months, the shop technicians concurrently crafted costumes for “Ghost Sonata,” which will be performed in the Martel Theatre in late November.
Raff enjoyed working on John Powell’s costume, noting that her work did not only include physical labor. “There was a lot of research done on how amputees in that time would sew their shirts,” she said. Ockner sported a checkered button-down with padded shoulders and a sewn-shut
right sleeve. This costume piece was instantly characterizing for Powell. As the lights rise on set, 10 explorers, divided into four boats, frantically navigate treacherous waters. Powell holds the bow of the Emma Dean, a boat named after his wife, sporadically lifting it up and down to mimic movement caused by rapids. While Powell could only grip the prop boat’s handle with one hand, a leather cord strapped to the bow and worn over his shoulder carried the weight of the prop. The cast performed this humorous yet intricate and believable boat choreography throughout the show. Aside from individual character differences, nine of the 10 explorers’ costumes fall under the same aesthetic. Aside from Frank Goodman (Frederica von Siemens ’25), overalls, button-downs, bandanas and leather fringe jackets can be spotted on most actors, each of their pants tucked into calf-height boots.
Contrastingly, Goodman was the British comic relief character, donning a red, white and blue outfit that appeared to be freshly pressed. This polished look immediately distinguished him from the rest of the cast, alongside his British accent, carefree attitude and higher socioeconomic status. Von Siemens delivered an incredible performance, defined by excellent comedic timing and an accurate yet hilarious accent. Raff noted that although many characters’ costumes were enhanced using fake dirt and sweat stains to produce a rough, worn look, Goodman’s outfit remained relatively clean.
In learning about the intentionality and effort behind designing costumes for “Men on Boats,” I have a newfound appreciation for the collaborative process of creating a production—a process with input from a plethora of creative disciplines—and I hope you do too! Each cast and production team member played a crucial role in bringing Backhaus’ story to life. I look forward to seeing the creative yet technical pieces the costume shop brings to shows in the future. As Raff declared: “Every detail matters in the telling of the story.”
Reading Nabokov and worrying about graduating
Charlotte Robertson Editor-in-Chief
On the last day of the Add/Drop period, I frantically scrolled through the online course catalog for an available, hopefully interesting half-credit class to add to my schedule. I landed on a 100-level course in the Russian Department, “Nabokov before Lolita.” At the time, I was reading Elif Batuman’s memoir “The Possessed,” which traces her devotion to Russian Literature; she writes about Old Uzbek, the St. Petersburg ice palace, her far-fetched theory of Tolstoy’s demise and her quirky peers in graduate school. I submitted my form.
This is the second Russian literature course I have taken at Vassar; last semester, I studied the modernists with Professor Farida Tcherkassova, which I cannot recommend highly enough for students fearful of the Russian novel’s length. “Nabokov before Lolita” has, so far, fulfilled my expectations. I have neither read “Lolita” nor watched either of its two film adaptations, so I am unable to compare his earlier works with his most famous. Professor Nikolai Firtich began our first meeting by briefly introducing Vladimir Nabokov. Originally born in St. Petersburg to an aristocratic family, he fled Russia after the Bolshevik Revolution, bouncing from Germany to
France and eventually the United States. He was rejected from a teaching position at Vassar, ending up as a resident lecturer at Wellesley in 1941. We concluded class by discussing the library’s surprising deficit in Nabokov’s work and the difference between LibGen and Anna’s Archive.
[SPOILERS AHEAD]
Our first assignment was to read the 1926 novel “Mary” and watch the 16-minute film “Ballet Mécanique,” directed by Dudley Murphy and Fernand Léger. The film was composed of clips of a woman with rounded eyebrows staring at the camera, footage of ambiguous machinery and various shapes wiggling in kaleidoscopic arrangements. It was fine. The book, though, was great. The opening scene takes place in an elevator; the protagonist, an apathetic, angry individual named Lev Glebovich, or Ganin, is trapped with his neighbor, the obnoxiously chatty Alfyorov. Both are residents in a boarding house in Berlin, having been exiled from Russia—most certainly pulled from, if only inspired by Nabokov’s own life.
The story toggles between Ganin’s depressing present and his past, spent with his young sweetheart, Mary. After losing to the Red Army and moving to Berlin, Ganin picks up random jobs in factories, restau-
rants and as movie extras. “Nothing was beneath his dignity,” Nabokov writes. As he wanders the city, he is overwhelmed by nostalgia—his desire to return to the past is so visceral, it seems possible: “[H]e did not feel any discrepancy between actual time and that other time which he relived in the past.”
After it is revealed that Alfyorov is married to Mary and that Mary is en route to the boarding house, Ganin plots to sweep her away. He gets Alfyorov drunk, screws with his alarm clock and travels to the train station at which Mary is scheduled to arrive. But at the very last moment, he changes his mind. Realizing that his days with Mary have ended, he turns around.
As I am beginning to learn, Nabokov enjoys toying with romantic tropes—in this instance, the love triangle—changing the anticipated ending within the last couple of pages.
Ganin’s longing for Mary and his longing for Russia are one and the same. While imagining Mary, he reconstructs the city in all of its pre-Revolution grandeur. But pieces of reality occasionally seep through Ganin’s recollection of the past; he remembers the last day he spent with Mary, a departure he felt to be “relieving.” He is reminded by another tenant, the sickly, retired poet Podtyagin, that Russia as he
imagines it is gone.
When I first read the book, I was upset that Ganin abandoned Mary at the train station. But if we consider “Mary” a meditation on nostalgia, Nabokov’s ending is perfect. Realistically, Ganin and Mary would never work out—the two characters are no longer in love with one another. Rekindling their relationship would require time travel, as their feelings were contingent upon a country that no longer exists. Ultimately, we see Ganin accept the present for what it is.
It is a life lesson that feels particularly pertinent as I submit my first round of postgraduate job applications. Over the past month, I have written dozens of cover letters and rewritten my resume dozens of times, all the while wishing, with indescribable intensity, to return to the age of 19, when college stretched before me like a long carpet, and I was comfortable knowing what the next year of my life would resemble. I am still waiting for the “merciless clarity” that solidifies one’s reckoning with the present. Until then, I am left with the following lines: “As his train moved he fell into a doze, his face buried in the folds of his mackintosh, hanging from the hook above the wooden seat.” We never find out if Ganin’s sleep is finally dreamless, but for his sake, I have decided it is.
Image courtesy of Jove Leonard ’27.
Boyscott magically refines their sound on ‘Spellbound’
Benjamin Kaplan Columnist
It is a common theme amongst many of the latest albums out to try to achieve a specific vibe; a sense of what the record feels like to differentiate itself from other albums and create its own feeling and identity. That is why so many people have come to love the band Boyscott and wait in anticipation for their latest album: “Spellbound.” Cementing themselves over a multi-year project as an indie darling with a specific sound and just one album, the band had high expectations for their sophomore release. Did they meet them? Not entirely, but in many ways, yes.
To understand “Spellbound,” you must first look back to Boyscott’s first album, their breakout success titled “Goosebumps.” Headed by lead guitarist, singer and songwriter Scott Hermano, the band broke out onto the indie rock scene with the specific mood “Goosebumps” emanated. The smooth guitar riffs on tracks such as “Blonde Blood” or the gleeful approach to instrumentation in “Marco Polo” and even more ominously in “Nova Scotia 5000” cemented “Goosebumps” as a definitive hanging out in the woods with your friends album. Similar to “Spellbound,” the setting for “Goosebumps” was the far northeast of America, specifically Acadia. Having such a set identity helped elevate a sometimes shoddily put-together project to giant heights, with millions of streams.
If there is one thing “Spellbound” definitely has, it’s a larger budget. In “Goosebumps,” it often felt as if the vocals were distant and distorted, almost akin to shoegaze in a few tracks. But now they are crisp and direct,
allowing full melodies and catchy hooks outside of the instrumentation. This is both a pro and a con for the project, though. Of course, having better quality mixing and mastering allows for a better listening experience and makes the themes and goals of the lyrics far more accessible. On the other hand, it takes away from the ambience and vibe that really stuck on some tracks of “Goosebumps,” like “Killer Whale” or “RIP Sophie Moore.” Sometimes, especially with the instrumentation direction on “Spellbound,” tracks can feel overproduced, resulting in a more artificial sound.
Even if overproduced at times, the instrumentation on “Spellbound” is a home run in nearly every aspect. The lead single, “Arthur Kill,” has a groovy guitar line that creates a calm yet engaging foundation for the track. This older indie rock instrumentation peaks in tracks such as “Moose Head,” where the melodic guitar and bass lines bounce around in the mix, beautifully cutting out at the stand-out line, “And she held my hand / At the farmers market.” Back-to-back tracks “After Dark” and “The Pond” have a quieter feeling, with more hushed vocals and relaxed guitar riffs. The most ambitious songs in terms of instrumentation are “Lima” and “Fell.” “Lima” tells the story of a New York City romance over some incredibly early Vampire Weekend-esque guitar pluckings, with an overall lighthearted vibe, whereas “Fell” leans towards the harsh side of Boyscott’s sound, pulling more from shoegaze. The final track on the project is “Orca,” a 50-second-long piece of great instrumentation with no vocals other than melodic hums in the background, with beautifully calming
chipper guitar notes that really give the track a sense of conclusion.
“Orca” is a perfect capstone for something else that “Spellbound” does incredibly well: the overall pacing of the project. From beginning to end, there is not a single song that ruins the flow or clashes with adjacent [songs/tracks] on the project. The first half of the album is comprised of five songs that all lean towards a happier feel and have tighter melodies. The second half’s five songs are more loose and have a more ambient feeling, leading up to “Fell” with its grungier sound and “Orca” as a simple yet uplifting sendoff. Just like “Goosebumps,” “Spellbound” has immense replay value in both its individual tracks and as a full listen-through.
Does “Spellbound” live up to the expectations of following up the miraculous and indie success that “Goosebumps” was? Overall,
mostly. It is the sad reality that the grittier and more “real” aspects of “Goosebumps” are exclusive to that record; the band’s success has moved them further from the sound of just scraping by to one with more confidence and budget. Similar to how the success of “Brat” by Charlie XCX sidelined the goal of the record to represent B-list pop stardom, Boyscott’s success does not allow them the closet-recorded mics anymore and the amateur feeling that came with them. But is that so bad? Now, they get to take their sound, refine it and even experiment with it. For those hoping for the opposite, for “Spellbound” to be radically different from “Goosebumps,” it is definitely not. Many tracks here evoke things like late-night summer drives with friends or bonfires in Acadia. But this time, the album is better mixed and definitely a contender for one of the best indie rock projects of the year.
‘Jesus Christ Superstar’-struck: Experiencing Vassar theater
cure a seat for the Friday performance, and I was not disappointed by what I saw.
On the first day of November, I decided it would be in my best interest to put down my philosophy homework and go see a show. Luckily, The Future Waitstaff of America (FWA) had me covered with their latest musical: “Jesus Christ Superstar.” The play, which debuted in the ’70s, is a seminal classic from composer Andrew Lloyd Weber. “Jesus Christ Superstar” is a rock opera based on the events surrounding the death of Jesus, beginning when he arrives at Jerusalem and ending with his crucifixion. From demanding vocals to impossibly difficult religious dilemmas, this musical is one that requires an expert team of creatives to pull off.
For the last several weeks, performers have rehearsed for “Jesus Christ Superstar” in Rockefeller Hall classrooms—in fact, they only performed in the actual theater the weekend before the show. Fortunately, FWA had no reason to worry about turnout: I went to reserve a ticket last Wednesday and found that one night was completely booked and the other two were filling up fast. I was able to se-
This was my first time in the Shiva Theater—I wondered briefly how they planned to pull off such a grand play in a space barely big enough for a game of tennis. I am not sure what I was expecting visually from this show, but I assumed at least one person would be in a toga. I was swiftly proven wrong as the small ensemble entered in modern clothes, bright oranges and yellows, dancing, carousing and inviting in the audience with their energy and spirit. From start to finish, I was in awe. In terms of vocals, this was one of the most impressive ensembles I have ever seen: The dynamics, the timing and the delicate yet powerful harmonies came together into an experience that was truly spellbinding.
For the soloists, too, this show is a beast. Each and every performer wowed me at different points, but the voices that continue to echo through my brain are those of Judas (Delaney Eiland ’26) and Pontius Pilate (Angela Chen ’28). Both of these roles are typically male; I found that this gender-bending created an additional layer of complexity that worked well. Eiland’s Judas is unforgettable;
I’d pay good money to hear her gritty soprano at the front of a Led Zeppelin cover band. She is excellent from start to finish, but her broken weeping and raw pain after her betrayal of Jesus was something out of a movie. Her performance was dramatic, intimidating and vulnerable in all the best ways. Chen, too, stole the show. Experiencing their stage presence and raw talent, you would never guess that Chen was a freshman—I feel very fortunate to have four more years of opportunities to watch them perform. “The cast was extremely supportive: Whenever I would mess up, they would be there to tell me it was all good,” Chen said in an interview.
Extremely notable are the acting and vocal stylings of the secondary characters, from the deep bass of Caiaphas (Alden Ormont ’27) to the lightness and clarity of Annas (Jillian Cole ’28). I was not expecting to laugh during a show about the death of Jesus, but Xander Shumaker ’27 as King Herod proved me wrong—his costume reminded me of a version of Hugh Hefner who shops exclusively at Party City. The core pair of the show is Jesus (Ben Richardson ’25) and Mary Magdalene (Bailey Mahoney ’26). Jesus is a challenging character, and I commend Richardson for his tackling of it with his style of peace and precision: In this role, he emanates a calm that feels fittingly prophetic. Mahoney’s sweetness and gentle grace made her a wonderful romantic lead. Her chemistry and truly transcendent harmonies with the bright-eyed and superbly sympathetic Peter (Danny Allan ’26) made me hope for a future performance where they play out a romance themselves.
The tireless efforts of director Molly Freer ’25 and music director Abbye Friedman ’25 paid off majorly for this show. Such a short rehearsal timeframe meant that the pressure was on; however, both directors were
impressed with the extent to which each performer was willing to put in the work. “It was definitely challenging to musically balance the pit and the singers,” said Friedman. She considers the small size and enormous talent of the cast to have contributed to their success. “People really knew their stuff.” Freer took on the impressive task of directing while also playing guitar in the pit orchestra: The opening scene—Freer soloing in a lone spotlight, center stage—felt like a personal invitation into the experience of the show. The simplicity of the set—a single platform and a few props—worked well to focus audience attention amidst a complicated plot. I particularly enjoyed how soloists sang into hand-held mics, set up on stands around the stage: Freer’s interpretation of this show put the “rock” back in rock opera.
For many cast members, this performance was their first at Vassar. Caroline Belanger ’28 has put in hard work in her role in the ensemble, and she considers her efforts worthwhile—I am inclined to agree with her. “Rehearsal has been fun: It’s definitely a time commitment, and it takes a lot of energy, but it’s been a nice way to meet more people,” said Belanger. “Sometimes at the beginning of college, if you have too much free time, it’s easy to feel not as connected to the people around you. Spending my time doing something I love has helped with that.”
I honestly was not sure what to expect from my first theatrical experience at Vassar. I can say with full confidence and enthusiasm that this show was a fabulous introduction to the world of performing arts at this school. I look forward to seeing more from each of these creatives in the future: The dedication, passion and skill of all involved, from the backstage to the spotlight, made this a night out at Vassar I will not soon forget.
Aurelia Harrison Guest Columnist
Image courtesy of Talia Lasky ’27.
Image courtesy of Racine Rieke ’28.
Recounting live-audience sitcom experience of ‘The Mike Show’
Nicholas Tillinghast Humor Editor
Last week, I saw a poster in the College Center for an event titled “The Mike Show.” The poster described the event as “a New Sitcom live from Sanders Auditorium.” My first assumption was that this was some sort of surreal-themed comedy or theater show attached to a club, but no organization was listed. Curious about this mystery, I attended “The Mike Show” pilot. Despite it being on a Wednesday night at 9 p.m., there was a modest crowd of around a hundred. What awaited us was a fascinatingly unique piece of theater.
At the start of the show, the three creators (Theo Burstyn-Paul ’27, Miranda Fishkin ’27 and Roman Shaheen ’27) explained their collaborative effort. This original play was hatched during an astronomy class (or hatched by three other people, whom they stole it from if you believe their witty intro).
The show opened with Mike (Thomas Rombach ’25) on the couch receiving a phone call that some execs want to hear his pitch for a TV show. After the call, Mike excitedly shares the news with his writing partner/ roommate/lover(?) Theo (Theo Burstyn-Paul ’27) and they decide to invite all of their friends to the bar to celebrate. A video sitcom intro, projected, introduced the cast through the passing around of a candy bar. Careful not to place the show in any specific location, the video jumped between these cast introductions and a B-roll of a coastal city, ancient ruins and even a Minecraft world.
At the bar, we meet all of Mike’s friends: his aforementioned freeloading roommate, Theo, his doting girlfriend Darcy (Nina Sandman ’26), and his two hapless friends, Miran-
da (Miranda Fishkin ’27), a failed podcaster and Roman (Roman Shaheen ’27), an obscure sitcom actor. Mike’s friends have supported him through thick and thin, like the time he dropped a penny off of the Empire State Building and (allegedly) killed a street vendor.
In this scene, the central conflicts are sewed through bar banter: Roman is sick of his nosey roommate John (Logan Walker ’27) and Miranda is considering broadcasting her feet on Twitch for money. Theo and Darcy are battling over Mike’s affection. Mike, in a plot reminiscent of the “Seinfeld” episode “The Pitch,” is attempting to pitch a convoluted show premise inspired by the feel of the sitcom itself. For “Seinfeld,” it was pitching a show about nothing. For “The Mike Show,” it is pitching a show that is a one-time event not filmed for TV.
As the play progressed, both Roman and Miranda plead with Theo about moving in with him and Mike. Roman wants to escape his insufferable roommate John and Miranda has rendered her apartment a biohazard by exposing her diseased foot.
Meanwhile, Darcy is trying to convince Mike to kick Theo out. These two threads collide when Mike and Theo head to their pitch and begin discussing their housing situation. An argument ensues. As Mike castigates Theo for his freeloading ways, I could hear Jerry Seinfeld-esque strain in his exasperated voice. During this exchange, Mike makes a derisive comment about a charity bowling event nearby called “Bowling for Soup” and pisses off bowler Toothless Joe (Arthur Beaugard ’27) and his two goons (Felix Mundy-Mancino ’26 and Ben Timberlake ’27), to the extent that they violently attack Mike and Theo, killing Mike offstage while bowling
sounds play.
Theo leaves Mike to die and goes ahead to the meeting, where he stumbles through their pitch, covered in blood. In the show’s final scene, reminiscent of the post-Michael Scott “The Office,” the remaining characters try to pick up the pieces after Mike’s death. Theo returns to the house to find Miranda and Roman back at the apartment, freshly moved in after Mike’s death. As Theo attempts to kick them out, Darcy appears. In one of the most humorous exchanges in the performance, Theo, who has been cruel to Darcy throughout the show, mercilessly berates her for not coming to grips that Mike is dead, going so far as to call Darcy a one-dimensional character. As arguments between the four characters escalate, Theo gets a call: The executives loved the pitch. Despite the world crashing in on itself, the TV show that is not a TV show is salvaged.
In the end, Theo did not receive the comeuppance one might expect after his cruelty to Darcy and his cowardice in leaving Mike to die. While not aligning with the moral-driven core of a lot of sitcom plotting, it matches much of the surreal logic of “The Mike Show.”
This plot point is exemplary of “The Mike Show”’s fascinating mixture of offbeat modern-day jokes and cheesy sitcom humor. The former is seen in Miranda’s storyline, in which her toe ailment renders her apartment a biohazard requiring it to be bombed by the government. For the latter, Mike attempts a cheese-themed catchphrase throughout the show, but it fails to catch on. Similarly, jokes about anvil death color the show, and a laugh track occasionally appears to punctuate certain jokes.
The play was woven with video segments
to further the story. While an opportunity to more explicitly recreate sitcom aesthetics is seen in the intro video, these segments often emulated other video forms such as a FaceTime call, a Twitch stream and, most charmingly for a flashback sequence, a silent film. These stepped away from the sitcom feel, but gave the show a nice variety.
Thematically, like many friends and family-based sitcoms, the show emphasizes domestic space: Every major character, whether out of necessity or comfort, negotiates a change in their living arrangement. It is clear that having proper living arrangements is a priority for all of them, though conflict in this realm has surprisingly tragic results for a sitcom, as experienced by Miranda, Mike and Darcy.
While warping many of the conventions of traditional sitcoms, the performance was careful not to deviate too far from their comforting feel, going so far as to soundtrack the blackout sequences with ’70s soft rock hits from Steely Dan and The Doobie Brothers and also the “Seinfeld” theme near the end, further cementing clear parallels to that show.
While the show was a delightful live production from start to finish, I am left with one question: If more episodes are on the way, as Mike’s pitch description implies, what will ”The Mike Show” be now without Mike? Will Mike somehow be resurrected like Jesus? Does he have some sort of twin brother of equal temperament? After a weekend of humorously unconventional independent theater, also highlighted in a 15-minute play directed by Anthony Rosenthal ’27, I hope more is to come. If “The Mike Show” continues, the ratings are sure to go up.
One senior’s foray into ceramics
Many of us on campus seldom find an excuse to visit Noyes. Those who have the fortune of residing elsewhere may find little reason to wander the house’s curved halls or gaze through its triangular windows. However, hidden within the damp depths of its basement, Noyes shelters a secret haven. Within resides the ceramics studio, a space no larger than a dorm room yet brimming with potential. Here, Ceramics Club offers weekly office hours, providing free rein over its resources to serve all of campus’ clay-related needs. Unlike other universities, where art organizations require a fee to attend and use materials, Vassar’s studio operates at no cost to students. Ceramics supplies are free, accessible and plentiful, encouraging students to operate creatively without financial barriers. Studio interns offer help to those who, like me, are not as adept in the applied arts.
While the studio houses several potter’s wheels for throwing pieces, hand-building is my preferred mode of working in ceramics. With each press of the hand, every adjustment to the clay, an expressly intimate connection is forged with the material. Here and there a fingerprint is left behind or a scratch blemishes the surface, to me embracing the subtle flaws that the wheel would smooth away. This hands-on approach gives unique satisfaction to the artist, urging patience and an acceptance of the imperfect.
Sophomore year, I regularly retreated to the tranquil cool of the basement studio, obsessively working on a birthday gift for a friend. The desired product, an ashtray shaped like “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy
Stardust and the Spiders From Mars” vinyl by David Bowie, took several weeks to come together. Rather than resorting to the time-tested Pinterest arts and crafts mood board, I decided to respect the integrity of the creative space I occupied. Reaching deep into the depths of my mind, I searched to recover any semblance of ingenuity I may have left behind in middle school art class.
To begin with, I tried sketching a rough design, allowing my ideas to take form on paper. Unsatisfied with my drawing skills, I hoped my concept might look better in clay. I started hand building slabs to form my ashtray’s base, employing the famed technique of scratching and scoring to adhere each piece to the other. If you fail to scratch and score the clay when you attach, for example, the handle to a mug, the piece can fall apart as it dries or when fired in the kiln. The technique is simple, only requiring a few gashes across the clay and the application of water—a method that can feel more like mutilating your art than protecting it. After scratching and scoring my piece and adhering the walls to the base, I used small wooden and metal tools to add design. Included were deep lines to mimic the microgrooves that produce the sound of a record, a circular label in the center of the vinyl indicating the album name and several notches on the walls of the piece where a cigarette might lay. Finally, my piece was ready to rest. Over the following weeks, my ashtray sat on a shelf in the ceramics studio as the clay transitioned from wet to “leather hard” to dry. The piece becomes ready to bisque fire in the kiln, a preliminary firing that renders the clay hard yet porous enough to absorb glaze. It is at this point, I will shamefully admit, that I often forget about my piece
altogether, relegating my hard work to the graveyard of forgotten mugs and miniature figurines that sit lonely on the studio shelves. But my ashtray was a gift, and I would be remiss if I failed to deliver for my friend. The pleasure of the glazing process provided added incentive to return, and I was reunited with my newly bisque-fired ashtray.
The studio boasts a wide array of glazes, ranging from stark reds and deep blues to milder pastels. I chose black for the vinyl and a burnt orange to mirror the color featured in the center hole of “Ziggy.” Glazing, much like finger painting, feels hard to fail at. A few swishes of the paintbrush and the clay transforms. At this point, the piece
must enter its second and final firing, applying intense heat to meld glaze with clay. It is here, in this penultimate stage of ceramics, where the culmination of effort is realized, where raw clay and vibrant glaze converge to create something wholly new. Unless, of course, your labor explodes in the kiln (always a possibility).
Within the surprising refuge of Noyes basement, I have found a place to explore the creativity I long believed evaporated. Each ceramic creation, no matter how rudimentary, embodies a unique interplay between intention and chance, dependence and volatility. While my mere ashtray was no great technical shake, the process was a gift for me, and the product was a gift for a friend.
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Emma Adams Arts Editor
Raymond Haunted House continues to spook students
they will be frightened. This haunted house achieved that, even with the small space that usually serves as the laundry room and hangout spot for Raymond House residents. When asked if they were scared during the experience, Vanderberg answered, “Yes, to the point of losing my balance!” Even originally skeptical participants were haunted thoroughly; Crispe said, “Oh yeah, definitely. I didn’t think I would be, but when they
jumped out it scared the shit out of me.” Peretti added, “Jumpscares always get me, so I was pretty spooked at first.”
Even some of the more experienced participants were caught by surprise. Segura mentioned, “I’ve personally been in a lot of haunted houses, and I usually can predict what is going to happen, so I wasn’t very scared. But, I did get jumpscared by one actor towards the end!”
Overall, this experience achieved its goal
of delighting students with spirited and unique experiences that they will not soon forget. None of these participants regretted attending the event, and many expressed interest in going every year. Segura cheered the event, saying, “I think it is a staple tradition to have every year. It definitely gives more personality to Raymond and gives it something special and fun to do every year!”
Crispe agreed, “Yeah, it was fun and I’d definitely do it again. It was a nice, spooky
experience and it added to the Halloween feeling.”
It is also a great opportunity to take advantage of stigmas that Raymond House is already experiencing, like the spooky reputation of their rundown basement. Peretti said, “I think the tradition is super cool! It really brings together a lot of wide-ranging communities to enjoy. And to take advantage of the particularly creepy Raymond basement.”
Unpacking the messenger bag epidemic on campus
Yaksha Gummadapu Features Editor
The summer before I started elementary school, my mother took me and my sister on my first back-to-school shopping trip. I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted: a 64-crayon box from Crayola, a binder to organize what I imagined would be pages and pages of meticulous notes, a pair of Twinkle Toe shoes that were better than my sister’s and a Hannah Montana messenger school bag. My mother is a reasonable woman. She bought me a 24-set of crayons, two notebooks and the same pair of Twinkle Toes my sister had. But she refused to buy me a messenger bag. She said it would hurt my shoulder, throw off my posture and give me lifelong chronic back pain. I relented and chose a shiny purple “Wizards of Waverly Place” themed backpack instead. I liked Alex Russo better than Hannah anyway. And I am very good at being scarred by traumatizing descriptions of injury.
I carry the supposedly harrowing cons of the messenger bag in my memory to this day. You can imagine my surprise at the end of last semester when I was finishing up a final essay for my Literature of Black Awkwardness class in The Retreat, and I took a people-watching break. Everywhere I looked, there they were: messenger bags resting against the metallic legs of the plastic light blue retreat chairs, thumping against the baggy-pant-clad backs of students walking around and forming the foundation for a stack of books or holding up phones. A shiver ran down my spine. The practical backpack was nowhere to be found. In its place was the much cooler, infamous in the Gummadapu household, Bob Dylan-esque cousin, The Messenger Bag. No one tell my mother.
Once I noticed the shift to messenger bags, I could not unsee it. My Pinterest feed was filled with them, my favorite campus celebrities were wearing them, and even my friends suddenly showed up to our lunch dates tucking their headphones into the signature leathery front pocket of a messenger bag. My trusty black Lululemon backpack, which housed all my protein bar wrappers, Burt’s Bees lip balms and broken bracelets was sticking out like a sore thumb. Not only was it falling apart from the time it served, but it was now lame. Uncool. An indicator of someone who doesn’t get it, “it” being style. My backpack at Vassar College was to messenger bags what jeggings at Goodwill are to Carhartts. When the time came to look for a new school bag, I felt the pressure to consider a bag that would piss off my mother. And it is not because I am not easily influenced. The messenger bags were symbolic of a larger shift in fashion and style that does not speak to me. The shift to blouses on the quad and formal slacks to a 9 a.m. class is embodied by the messenger bag. It reminded me too much of the years I spent stifled by a strict dress code and a
school uniform.
I think my messenger-bag-wearing peers are frequently some of the best-dressed peo-
ple on campus. They remind me of “Dead Poets Society” and “Just Kids.” All good things. I love Patti Smith. But I am not her.
I love sleek boots. But every once in a while, my feet need sneakers. For the first time, I feel at odds with fashion on campus. During my first year here, I wrote an article about how the versatility of style at Vassar made me feel like a kid in a candy shop. I can admit that I unabashedly draw on the Vassar student body’s outfits for reference. I wear ballet flats and dresses over pants because of Brewers. But the ubiquitous nature of the messenger bag made me worry about a uniformity in thought that I have been running from, that Vassar was an escape from. My inability to be inspired by an overwhelmingly popular trend on campus is also a jarring experience. Even incoming first-years showed up to their first class armed with a messenger bag full of dreams. So, what does it mean if I cannot get on board with something that everyone seems to love? Something that everyone has co-signed? I think after some careful introspection, I have come to three interconnected conclusions. I have learned that I can never wear something that I do not find comfortable. I have left that part of me behind in high school. I have decided I can love how something, in this case, messenger bags, looks on someone else and still not want it in my closet. I have realized I will probably never have a cohesive and distinct style. I like too many unrelated pieces. And that is probably why I love playing dress up and noting what other people wear. It is not worth trying to have a singular “brand” for your person when you really are an amalgamation of so many different influences and references from where you have been and where you want to be. The appeal of the messenger bag disappeared from me at a young age, and I fear that even my most severe hallway crushes sporting them cannot resurrect it for me.
For this article, I walked around campus asking people if I could take a picture of their messenger bags. I stopped every three feet to talk to people wearing long floral skirts, blazers and indie-sleeze-era ripped tights. Different people, different aesthetics, but the same joy at showing off their bag for my iPhone camera. And that felt like a warm, comforting hug. Who cares if everyone was wearing the same bag as long as they adored it? All of a sudden, my faith in Brewer style was reinforced. We are still lovers of creativity and individuality; we wear what we love and what works for us. The pillars of what makes this student body my biggest style icons. The messenger bag must truly be special if so many unique but fitted students are drawn to it. I, personally, will sit this one out and adjust the straps on my new brown faux leather backpack, which has a little white bow to mark it as truly mine. But just in case, I want to retain my right to backtrack on all of this! If you see me wearing a messenger bag next month, just know it is because the only thing I believe is constant in fashion is its fluidity (or because it has Hannah Montana plastered over the front).
Yaksha Gummadapu/The Miscellany News.
Continued from Raymond on page 1
FEATURES
Hal-Loeb-Ween draws biggest crowd yet
Charlotte Robertson Editor-in-chief
The Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center’s annual Hal-Loeb-Ween celebration generated an impressive turnout this year, totaling over 200 guests, according to Francine Brown, the museum’s Coordinator of Membership, Events and Visitor Services. She credited the wide attendance to the fact that this Halloween evening, the temperature hung in a gorgeous mid-to-high 60s range—for the first time in Hal-Loeb-Ween history, the event took place outside in the Sculpture Garden.
As I picked grapes off of a fruit platter, I thought, with some sadness, about the weather, which broke the record-high previously set in 1946. Later that night, I would sweat through my “Daria” costume. I will not pretend to be ungrateful for the warmth, but in the back of my mind, I knew it was wrong to leave my house on the last day of October in short sleeves.
Treats were abundant at Hal-Loeb-Ween. Alongside the fruit platter was an impressive spread of cupcakes, cheese with crackers and a jug of apple cider; guests also had the opportunity to decorate sugar cookies amorphously suggestive of ghosts, pumpkins and witch hats. There were baskets of candy everywhere.
Several tables, encircled by plump, glass string lights, offered a variety of activities. Loeb guide Natalie Buzzell ’26 created coloring sheets featuring pieces from the Loeb collection, such as Pablo Picasso’s “Tête de Femme.” The Loeb Student Committee also collaborat-
ed with Vassar’s Artist Group (VAG) to organize a temporary tattoo station, face painting and caricature drawing.
Hannah Rochester ’28, a member of the VAG executive board, estimated that she painted around 15 faces over the course of the evening. “Tonight, it was a lot of pumpkins and ghosts and spiders,” she said, though a group of Lathropians commissioned her for a honey badger group costume. Rochester painted faces throughout high school, mostly for elementary schoolers at fall-themed festivals. “It’s a little more pressure to paint college students [because] four year old children don’t care what the outcome looks like as long as they have their face painted,” Rochester reflected later, in a written correspondence. “College kids are able to tell if something looks bad.”
Leo Valenti ’26, co-president of VAG and one of two caricature artists, spent his evening sketching students with a jumbo-sized Sharpie, the medium of choice due to its textural adaptability. When we spoke, he was in the middle of filling a portrait with the New York skyline. “I did my first event at this House Team appreciation dinner kind of thing,” he said. “I had never done a caricature before, and they were really bad. And nothing’s changed.”
“VAG brought in a lot of people,” said Sara Sheperd ’26, a member of the Loeb Student Committee. She assisted in advertising the event, printing posters and coordinating with President of the College Elizabeth Bradley. “We’ve done smaller Halloween events in the past, but we’ve decided to step it up this year,”
she explained.
At 7:30 p.m., the best-dressed guests entered the costume contest. The lineup included an emo cat, Alice and the Mad Hatter, two Carmys from “The Bear” and the Tenth Doctor. The winner, determined by audience applause, was Emilia von Lilien-Brockmeyer ’26, wearing an angel costume complete with feathered wings and a white headpiece. “Over Halloween weekend, I was a Biblically accurate angel. But that takes a lot of time to do, and it’s a Thursday. So I did a dressed-down angel,” she said. She won a framed print of “The Nightmare” by Henry Fuseli, a Swiss oil painting currently on loan.
At 8 p.m., Reza Hall ’27, otherwise known as The Rezalution, arrived wearing a Dodgers jersey paired with a panda-patterned tie. “I’ve been wearing ties when I DJ. It’s kind of my thing,” he said. Hall, who has been DJing for around two years, primarily plays house music, EDM and UK Garage. Another benefit
to the outdoor space, Brown mentioned, was the affordability of hosting a DJ. Hall’s set lasted until the evening’s conclusion.
Since 2007, the Loeb Student Committee has hosted Late Night every Thursday, keeping the museum open until 9 p.m. with an accompanying event—yoga in the galleries, open mics, lanyard looming tutorials and movie screenings, to name a few examples. “I love all the Loeb events,” said Sofia Slavonia ’26, who was dressed as Hannah Montana. “I come to a lot of them—most of them, I would say.”
The level of care and dedication required to host such a production is so impressive that I was somewhat ashamed to admit that, as a senior, this was my very first Late Night experience. To anyone searching for a way to spend their next Thursday, I recommend swinging by the museum. To anyone searching for a way to spend their next Thursday, I recommend swinging by the museum.
Students snapshot their experiences abroad
I am
dering, it was indeed magical. Fun fact: The Beatles added an “S” on the song because it flowed better than Strawberry Field. Who knew!
A day trip to Oxford. This is the staircase where McGonagall lectures all the to-besorted Hogwarts first years. I reflected on a young Draco Malfoy’s friendship inquiry to Harry Potter, and Harry’s iconic sassy little response: “I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks.” How baller.
This is the circus in Bath. It has been featured in many period pieces. Bath is notable for being the location where Jane Austen wrote many of her novels. Being here and witnessing it’s magnitude was fabulous — I could picture a dishy Captain Wentworth professing his love to Anne Elliot. Swoon!
I took this photo earlier this month of the street where I live with my host mother Auxi. About a week before, we took a Sunday morning stroll down the busy boulevard Fuencarral near her apartment. The street was closed to car traffic, and there was bright sun and families everywhere. We were shopping for lunch fixings for a little gathering with her son and his girlfriend. She held my arm to guide me through the street and we chatted in Spanish. I asked her about what it was like moving to Madrid and she asked me to decide which olives to buy. Sometimes the host family living situation can make me feel lonely, but this was one of the moments where I recognized its worth. Later I wrote in my journal that this is why I’m here – living among Spaniards, witnessing family life, and getting the best kind of language practice through immersion.
Charlotte Robertson/The Miscellany News.
Here
with some of the gals from the Vassar Goldsmiths Study Abroad program at the Strawberry Field gate in Liverpool. We went on the Magical Mystery Tour led by a fantastic guide named Del (and we learned lots of Beatles knowledge). If you were won-
Carina Cole ’26
Clara Alger ’26
Breaking News
From the desk of Nicholas Tillinghast
Vassar 5k means 5,000 miles, not 5 kilometers. This was always obvious and you should have checked before signing up. No backsies.
Nick reviews the Wendy’s Krabby Patty a month late
bad, the meh, my guys.
Yo what’s up guyyyyyyyyyys. Nicky 2 Slices here back with another fooooooooood review. I usually don’t go to Wendy’s because they don’t inspire me as an artist, but a lot of people have been asking me to review the new Wendy’s Krusty Krab Krabby Patty. I wanna shout out JBradley1861 who has commented on every one of my reviews for the past month: “U GOTTA review the Wendy’s Krabby Patty brah. RN. Been a fan since ’21. Luv ya!” I gotchu JB. Before we jump into it, comment down below your favorite episode of Spongebob (Season one through four only!!!!!). Let’s gooooooooooo.
Saturday, 11:55 p.m. Alone in my TH craving a delectable treat, I opened the DoorDash app and ordered a small Wendy’s Krabby Patty Meal with the Pineapple Under the Sea Frosty instead of a drink, which, with a few fees tacked on and an average tip, was $20.79. Everytime I order anything from DoorDash it costs between $20 and $21. I don’t try to do that. Some bean counter at DoorDash just adds however many dollars to my order to make it that number knowing I’ll begrudgingly accept it. My order arrived at the door at 12:21 a.m. and I dug in. Here’s the good, the
The Good: Pineapple Under the Sea Frosty
This is debatably one of the stars of the meal: Never in the Frosty’s 55 years of existence has there been a pineapple Frosty, and let me say: it did not disappoint. Pineapple was just the right flavor to switch up the Frosty, a fast-food dessert that I’ve always considered to be too simple. Give me a Dairy Queen blizzard or a McDonald’s Hot Fudge Sundae and I’m happier than a clam. The Frosty just doesn’t inspire me as an artist.
For it being Under-the-Sea-themed, I expected some sort of fishy taste to complicate the flavor profile, like Deece skate, but no such flavor was there. For what it was though, it was the best Frosty I’ve had in my entire life. I must admit that I DNF’d this part of the meal, but that’s because ice cream is a little too sugary for me and with it being 12:33 a.m., I didn’t want to be bouncing around the walls all night. With all the pineapple syrup pooling to the bottom, it was too much for my weak, weak heart.
The Bad: Pickles
This was a very pickley burger, worthy of Bubble Bass. For me, it was too many pick-
News.
les. I worked at McDonald’s for a year and a half, and one thing they teach you early is that a customer should only get one pickle per slice of cheese. For example, the quarter pounder has two pickles, not because the burger is bigger, but because there’s two slices of cheese. There were at least five pickle slices on this burger and I had a few bites where the pickles were right on top of each other. I was appalled. At McDonalds, I was taught that pickles should never be touching. Pickles are friends, not lovers.
The Good: The Secret Sauce
Arguably the only special part keeping the Krabby Patty burger from being just a dumpy Dave’s Single, the sauce—though a thousand island-based sauce—had a unique zest to it and a touch of spice to differentiate it from your run-of-the-mill burger condiment.
The Meh: The burger meat
Wendy’s talks a big game about its square burgers, but it’s a jabroni gimmick that ruins the suspension of disbelief that this is a Krabby Patty, a burger that has never in its 25 years had square meat. Also, the burger patty wasn’t even that good. It’s on par with the floppy Whopper, but it’s far below the robust
Quarter Pounder.
The Good: Lettuce
I love good lettuce, and Wendy’s provided me with tasty, crisp leaves. This makes sense because they do salads. In McDonald’s land, salads are a foreign concept. The best they can do is a burger with a bed of shredded lettuce instead of a bun. Salad-adjacent. Wendy’s has a weirdly deep menu for no particular reason. Who is ordering their baked potatoes? WHO ARE YOU.
The Meh: The fries
These had a very similar size, shape, and texture to Deece fries, which is, I’ll say it, meh. It didn’t help that I was eating them with Bullseye sauce from Retreat, making the parallels obvious. I made this observation to my housemate Vaughn and he was like, “No, you’re WRONG, these taste completely different, dumbass,” so maybe I’m wrong.
THE CONCLUSION
Considering all of the parts in this collab meal, it was pretty epic, guys. I’m gonna have to give the Wendy’s Krabby Patty five greasy napkins out of seven. I hope you guys liked the review. Comment down below who you would draft on an all-Spongebob football
Nicholas Tillinghast Nicky 2 Slices
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany
Anna Kozloski/The Miscellany News.
Walumph by Anna Kozloski
Miss Likki works it out on the remix
Nandini Likki It’s About Drive, It’s About Power
IknowVassar is kind of split up into two factions just like a bad YA novel: The Athletes and the…“well, I’ve been meaning to exercise more, I’ve just been suuuuuper busy and I walk a lot around campus, isn’t that enough?” I’ve often found myself flip-flopping between these superfluous categories. I dance, but I don’t do it well, but I do pilates, but my balance sucks and I’m constantly five seconds away from falling over, but I do boxing, but I’ve missed a ton of classes because I’ve just been suuuuuper busy. But this summer, I decided to flip flop and stick the landing. I joined a gym.
My relationship with working out is much like my relationship with the French indie rock band Phoenix: We started out in high school and we’ve been on and off since then, although usually when I’m feeling super sad, it’ll breathe a new vigor into our dynamic. When I was younger, I was obsessed with getting visible abs, until I realized that that’s actually impossible and abdominal muscles are a myth created by Big Fitness in order to sell you protein shakes. My version of exercise was doing Blogilates and Yoga with Adriene videos on the floor of my bedroom. I loved it because it was private and peaceful. I was scared to go to a gym because I didn’t want to ruin this beautiful thing I had cultivated.
But summer of 2024 was SO! BORING! I’ve written a little bit about what it was like to live and grow up in southern Ohio, but it’s something that you truly can’t understand unless you’re actually there. Rows and rows and rows of corn. Not a person in sight. Except for my friend Hana, who suggested that we instead use this time to embody Meg Thee Stallion and procure a “hot girl summer,” as they say. But unlike the NBA, we couldn’t just pick anyone in town by slapping a huge baseball cap on them. We had to do a little careful scouting.
The first gym we went to was an Esporta that my dad used to play racquetball at. I should’ve taken that as a warning sign: At every turn, Hana and I would run into one of my dad’s many, many friends and be subject to a barrage of questions (“How’s college? What are you majoring in again? Film? So you’re going to make YouTube videos?”) When we did our cardio (Hana on the treadmill, me on the elliptical), one of the guys on the treadmills next to her was running so hard and fast that the ground beneath us was vibrating. Can you guess how that ended? At least when he fell, he didn’t get injured—and Hana and I decided that Esporta was not the pick for us. We could hand them off to the Cavaliers.
Our second fitness endeavor was a Barre class. I was vaguely attracted to Barre because of its promises of making me more flexible and agile, one of the primary reasons I wanted to work out in the first place. As soon as
we entered the studio, we were immediately ambushed by a horde of white middle-aged women, clad in matching grip socks. “Hana!” I shouted out to her as we hung from the ceiling to avoid the stampede. “As two women of color in regular socks, will we be allowed to Barre?!” Hana reassured me: “Fret not! We will simply wow them with our prowess.” After we removed the twigs from our hair, Hana and I actually enjoyed the class. It was just the two of us and our instructor, and several of the movements were things I was familiar with from dance and Pilates. At the
end of the session, the instructor excitedly informed us that our fee for the remainder of the classes was approximately $5,638,249. Hana and I promptly pliéed our way out of there.
But then we realized that the answer was in front of us the whole time: Planet Fitness. I had always been put off by PF’s passive-aggressive marketing tactics of branding themselves as “not a gym,” but instead some sort of mythical, otherworldly, purple and yellow realm. Hana and I were pleasantly surprised to find out that Planet Fitness did not
require any prior knowledge of astronomy. Our experience there was super chill—there was a ton of equipment for us to experiment with and we could try out different weight routines, plus the people there were sweet and mostly kept to themselves. We ended up going to Planet Fitness two to three times every week over the summer, which was a much-needed respite from our summer jobs and internships. Overall, my workout experience this summer was pretty nice, and joining a gym turned out to be great. Although I am a bit traumatized by treadmills now.
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
We still need better shark media
Lev Winickoff Opinions Editor
Most of us have never interacted with a shark outside of an aquarium. The closest I got was begging my mom for a shark tooth necklace at a little store in California when I was nine. Or maybe the closest I got was watching “Jaws” when I was 12; it depends on what you mean by “shark” and, I suppose, “interacting.” This is what I am interested in: The way that our socially constructed idea of sharks has bled through the water and turned the actual real-life sharks into stereotypes. If I was interacting with sharks on the screen, how far is that portrayal from my perception of sharks at the time? What happens when your interaction with the idea of a shark affects an actual shark itself?
Sometimes, the ideas we absorb are subtle. For example, shark tooth necklaces can be analyzed as an assertion of the wearer’s dominant masculinity over the already hyper-masculine shark: a token of the moment when Chief Brody kills the shark and saves his town and an emblem of man’s godlike ability to conquer the extreme power of nature. They do not necessarily symbolize those things (I wanted a shark tooth necklace because I saw some boys wearing them), but when we have these beliefs in the first place, it is hard not to think about the meaning of a shark tooth necklace for post-“Jaws” American masculinity. When we internalize the idea that sharks are this terrifying, aggressive force that we have to fight to subdue, it has an effect on conservation policies, or the lack thereof. This is why it is necessary to create and popularize more neutral, educational shark media.
The perception of sharks as extremely
dangerous has a lot to do with the media, which has a lot to do with money. According to Cinephelia Beyond, “Jaws” made almost 500 million dollars at the global box office in 1975, which would have been nearly three billion dollars today. The creators of “Jaws” profited off of an exaggerated and highly stereotyped view of the animal that added to the thrilling nature of the film. In a real-life example of this phenomenon, there is much evidence showing that New Zealand news media of sharks has remained exaggerated since 1989, per Marine Policy. The authors cite the predominant and consistent use of emotive language rather than prescriptive language in shark-related articles. They conclude, “The overuse of emotive terms had led to shark bites being presented and viewed as a criminal act, with sharks themselves being viewed as intentionally malicious.” The newspaper companies and journalists responsible for painting this image of sharks may be responding to the idea that the more extreme an article is, the more likely it is that someone will pick up the newspaper, leading to more profit for the company.
Despite the negative media portrayals of sharks, there is evidence that this is not always the case, especially recently. For example, an article published in Marine Policy noted that in 2014, there was a breakthrough in the language of the news media with an increase in frequency of the terms “fin” and “finning” (referring to the detrimental human practice of harvesting shark fins) over “shark attack.” This is a clear example of centering the harm done to sharks and the influence of the conservation movement that encouraged increased awareness of the dangers of overfishing. However, 2014 was just a blip in the trend, and the next
year, media analysis showed a return to the old harmful buzzwords. Additionally, not all news is bent on an exaggerated portrayal of shark-human interactions. A study of local news in New South Wales, Australia, aimed to gather information on whether local news outlets would reflect the socio-cultural context of New South Wales, an area committed to conservation. According to the study, “The discourse used by the media examined was not fear-laden, sensationalized or emotive, which previous studies have emphasized.” It is clear that when a community itself is more focused on the well-being of sharks, their media coverage will be less anthropocentric and more critical of the human-caused environmental factors that may lead to unwanted human-shark interactions. Thus, the negative media portray-
als of sharks and the negative perceptions of sharks are related in a self-perpetuating cycle. However, we can still learn from these local news outlets about how to write about sharks in a way that is informative and constructive so that we can apply these concepts to statewide news and larger outlets. In areas that are more out-of-touch with conservationist values and more exposed to insensitive media about shark-human interactions, repairing the human-shark relationship is urgent. The United States is uniquely positioned in terms of its relationship to sharks, as “Jaws” was produced and remains most popular in America. As such, it is important to implement certain practices in the United States in order to change the narrative about sharks. Media is a great starting place, and an opportunity to reach people of all ages.
How to hogtie a redneck god-emperor
With trembling hands outstretched in prayer, a middle-aged white man feverishly repeats the line “Please save me, Donald Trump” as authorities shatter the windows of his car and detain him in a now infamous livestream clip that heavily circulated X, formerly Twitter, and Instagram in late 2020. Driving around in my home state of Florida during late October and early November of that tumultuous year, I saw massive flags grouping “God, Guns and Trump” into a horrific holy trinity, and Trump worship songs like Natasha Owens’ “The Chosen One” could be found blasting from parades of old F-150s and offthe-lot Wranglers on every corner. Four years later, as the election cycle grinds to its ragged conclusion and former President Donald Trump’s name reappears on the ballot, swaths of Americans arrive at the same conclusion as Natasha Owens and “Unidentified White Man Futilely Praying Through Tears”: Donald J. Trump is a god amongst men.
Though it may be easy to think of Trump’s deification as a disheartening topic and critique of contemporary U.S. society, this tradition of deifying political leaders is not the invention of 21st century right-wing conservatives. To get to the root of this ongoing phenomenon, we must look back in time to antiquity. Public figures have achieved immortality through apotheosis—or the “elevation of someone to a divine status” according to Oxford Languages—since before the first recorded
story was written. Gilgamesh, likely a real-world Sumerian king, was worshiped after his rule. The Egyptian Pharaohs were considered mortal incarnations of various gods during their lifetimes, and in Ancient Rome, especially awesome emperors were made into gods upon their deaths, gaining cults of worshippers and religious icons devoted to them in their super-powered afterlives.
In modern America, the transmutation of political powers into divine ones is much more subtle than widespread proclamations of a popular figure’s ascension to the pantheon of the gods. Instead of building an altar out of gold and marble, MAGA enthusiasts have taken up X posts and altright news headlines as their church. After the July 13 assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump’s life while at a Pennsylvania rally, the dynamic shot of a wounded yet defiant Trump raising his fist circulated the internet like wildfire. The photo proliferated across explore pages, stories and blogs like popular religious iconography, accompanied by captions calling the man a living martyr, a survivor of spiritual warfare and a savior of the nation—language commonly reserved in the American zeitgeist for gods and saints. According to “Politico”, Trump’s own campaign manager Brad Parscale claimed that “Only God could deliver such a savior to our nation,” and “There has never been and probably never will be a movement like this again.” Similarly, the verbiage surrounding Trump’s survived assassination attempt sounds eerily similar to that of Christian dogma: divine suffering for the salvation of
the people. And with Trump’s supporters showing up to the candidate’s subsequent rallies with bandages taped to their ears, it is not difficult to see the overt connection between the reverence churchgoers show for their god, wearing the sign of the cross (a symbol of the Christian God’s suffering for the salvation of “his” people) as a public declaration of faith, and the blind faith those in the MAGA movement place in Trump. Unfortunately, this rhetoric surrounding Trump’s divinity has spread to his followers, casting them as soldiers in Trump’s holy war, with the man himself serving as the messianic figure fighting on the frontlines against the spiritual and political evils opposing him.
For many Americans, this conflation of religion and politics raises several critical questions about the implications of such a belief system in a modern, secular society. If Trump is seen as a celestial savior and protector, any criticisms against him can be viewed as heresy, leading to a hostile environment where dissent is stifled and loyalty to the party and the candidate is paramount. On Jan. 6, the nation saw, firsthand, the result of Trump’s apotheosis as his “soldiers” and “QAnon Shamans” stormed the Capitol Building, some even donning Roman-style armor and brandishing signs that read “Cross the Rubicon, President Trump,” connecting the former president to the deified dictator Julius Caesar. These Capitol insurrectionists, fully indoctrinated into the cult of Trump’s personality, demonstrated what happens when a group of people place their faith in one person over the due process of law that the United
States was founded upon: the delicate fabric of American democracy unravels. Despite the more-than-spooky implications of the 1,000-year-old precedent for today’s apotheosis, classical literature can offer us a glimmer of hope. Alongside the longstanding tradition of deification, criticism of who is given godhood is just as old as the practice itself. Seneca the Younger’s “Apocolocyntosis,” or “The Pumpkinification of Claudius,” is a biting satire about the wrongful deification of the Roman Emperor Claudius, detailing the tyrannical and incompetent ruler’s humorous attempt at ascension and subsequent delegation to eternal office work. Over 2,000 years later, Seneca’s witty writings teach us an important lesson: the power of art as a form of resistance. Many people may find it difficult to spark change in the indomitable cyclone of empire; How can the individual take action against the collective? This question has been postulated for centuries and garnered a varied array of responses. It is easy enough to become overwhelmed by contemporary politics and completely shut down or escape into fantasy, but the act of creation in spite of god-emperors and fanatic followers is a type of opposition. For as many centuries as humans have been elevating their leaders to god status, there have been just as many artists and authors willing to push back and question the status quo. So whether it be through writing satirical dramas about evil pumpkin-like old men or de-mystifying the divine image of modern political figures through visual art, the most widely accessible weapon for fighting a god turns out to be a pen.
Eduardo Culmer Guest Columnist
Image courtesy of picapica via openclipart.
Oarsmen win IM volleyball title
Willem Doherty Guest Columnist
In a rousing end to the fall intramural (IM) volleyball season, Oarsmen (6-0) defeated both Mind Goblins (6-1) in the semifinal and Safe Sets (7-0) in the grand final to clinch their second consecutive Intramural Volleyball Championship. The semifinal and final were held in Kenyon Hall on Thursday, Oct. 31, and also featured Hooters (5-1), who fell in the semifinal to the eventual runner-ups Safe Sets. The Oarsmen’s championship run was illustrative of continued dominance in the league: The defending champions led their division and had not lost a set before the semifinal, where they dropped the first set to the Mind Goblins before forcing and winning a tiebreaker third set to advance to the championship. Safe Sets also lived up to their name in the regular season, losing only one set to Grey division rivals Professional NARPs (25) before their eventual loss in the Championship, where they dropped two firstto-25 sets, conceding the final set 25-13. Oarsman Hogan Fletchner ’27 delivered the game-winning ace.
“It feels good going back-to-back,” Fletchner said. “There’s a competition in that IM tournament week that reminds me of playing in high school, and I missed that. It’s overall a ton of fun that you can’t get
anywhere else. Winning two semesters in a row is a great feeling, especially because I now have two T-shirts to choose from.”
One constant of Vassar Intramural tournaments is the “Intramural Champions” t-shirt, which is awarded to the squad that wins each tournament’s championship. At Vassar, IM Champion t-shirts have become a badge of honor for some players and teams, and are coveted among players who have not yet earned one. “It’s fun and it’s good natured and it adds stakes to the game,” Fletchner said. “Who doesn’t love free merch?”
At the beginning of the playoffs, many teams were competing for the “IM Champs” t-shirt. This semester’s semifinal and championship was a culmination of a single-elimination playoff tournament, determined by regular season standings. The Oct. 28 quarterfinals were preceded by a play-in round, where Block and Ball Torture (4-3) defeated Monkeynomics (4-3) in the Burgundy Division and BES TEAM BEST EAM BEST TE (4-3) bested Best Goblins (4-3) in the Grey Division. Despite the hard-earned entry into the playoffs, both teams could not upset the first seeds in the quarterfinals, where Block and Ball Torture was defeated by Safe Sets and the Oarsmen put BES TEAM BEST EAM BEST TE to bed with a 2-0 victory. The quarterfinals were also where eventual semifinals contenders
Mind Goblins and Hooters would punch their tickets, with 2-1 and 2-0 wins over Fifth Floor Fledglings (4-3) and Fortnite Spikes (4-3), respectively.
Both the Oarsmen and the runner-up Safe Sets have ties to Vassar sports teams: The Oarsmen are primarily made up of male members of the Vassar rowing team, while many Safe Sets signees have ties to Vassar baseball. In accordance with intramural regulations, both teams have only one varsity volleyball player on their squad, to keep competition fair between teams of differing skill levels. The one player limit extends to all intramural seasons whose sport also has a varsity team at Vassar. In the upcoming winter basketball season, for example, only one varsity player from either the men’s or women’s basketball team is allowed to join each intramural squad.
Casey McMenamin ’26, a libero for the men’s volleyball team, anchored the Oarsmen on their way to victory. He rejoined the team after a heartbreaking loss in the semifinal in the fall 2023 season (the Vassar men’s volleyball team does not allow their roster to participate in the spring IM seasons, where the Oarsmen picked up their first championship). He said, of the victory and his return, “The reason why I came back for this season was because we had unfinished business. We lost to eventual champions Safe Sets in a heartbreaking
three set loss in the semifinals last fall. This year we were able to avenge our loss in the championship game. That was really gratifying being able to overcome last year’s [fall] loss.”
McMenamin also recognized his role as a varsity player: “As a varsity player, my goal for this IM season was to grow the game. I wanted to teach my friends a couple skills and coach them up, so that we can have an absolute blast playing this amazing game… Obviously winning is way more fun than losing, so winning it all was great, but that was not the ultimate goal for the season. As a player, I tried to get everyone involved and spread the ball around.”
The Oarsmen plan to three-peat this spring, hoping to play through the loss of McMenamin. Taking McMenamin’s spot on the six-man roster will be Trygve Aarestad ’26 who will be returning from a semester abroad at St. Andrews University. Capturing a third consecutive title will require the squad to embrace the message displayed on their uniforms: “Live, laugh, love, grow, dream, believe.” First though, is a bout in the six-versus-six Indoor Soccer League, where they will face formidable foes such as Fortnite FC, Cornjerkers and Deece Nuts. If you would like to participate in 6v6 Indoor Soccer, please contact mcallahan@vassar.edu or visit the Vassar Intramural website.
Images courtesy of Willem Doherty ’25.
Brewers Ballin’:
Women’s XC
wins Liberty League
Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing. If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email hfrance@vassar.edu.
Brewers Ballin’
Team: Women’s cross country team
Stats: The Brewers finished with 36 points to take home back-to-back Liberty League championship tites. The title race took place at the Ronald C. Hoffman Cross Country Course on Saturday Nov. 2 on the campus of St. Lawrence University. The highlight of the day was Vassar’s Haley Schoenegge setting not only the 6K course record time, and also the fastest time in Liberty League Championship 6K history. Supporting the effort was sophomore Adelaide Nyhan who finished 5th for an All-Liberty League First Team honors, followed by senior Anna Kaigle who joined Nyhan with another first team honor. Sophomores Norah Reade finished 8th and Cayley Swaim 15th to earn an All Liberty League Second Team and Honorable Mention, respectively. Also earning honorable mentions were senior Noni Pattington with a 20th place finish and sophmore Acadia Helfand with a 21st place finish. Vassar led the Liberty League with seven all-league nods.
Ranking the NFL’s theme songs
Allen Hale Senior Editor
Athemesong traditionally plays prior to any NFL game beginning. The musical values of these songs are subjectively varied: some are iconic, some fade into the background, and some are actively aggravating. However, they are all important components of the experience viewers immediately receive when tuning in. I will rank five of the most prominent ones below.
No. 5: “Monday Night Football” on ESPN, aka “Heavy Action” by Johnny Pearson Contains a solid opening, although it feels derivative in light of similarities with the other themes below. This might be owing to its multi-capacity use in the United Kingdom for “Superstars,” leaving the track with less of a solid, singular identity. The lack of dynamic contrast which follows in the main section does not help much either. I have no real interest or attachment to this one, probably because Monday Night Football has never been a big part of my NFL diet. Sometimes, homework has to come before an absolutely electric matchup between the Miami Dolphins and the Tennessee Titans. Without listening reinforcement, this one falls to the wayside.
No. 4: “Thursday Night Football” on NFL Network, aka “Run to the Playoffs” by David Robidoux
I have always been fascinated by the weirdly eerie bells that get this song started, but this feels like pretty standard fare music for any and all sports programming. Nothing about it strictly resonates as an NFL theme. Sure, I get the sense of the game’s essential elements through sound—I know I am going to watch something forceful, physical and heavy-hitting. However, the later cookie-cutter beat
used to support these elements is far from my favorite. Thankfully, those creepy bells come back, but they are not enough to carry the song alone, even as their galloping nicely fits the composition’s title. All things considered, this one is serviceable but not a favorite. Prior to the 2022 season, “NFL Network Exclusive Game Series” (formerly known as “NFL Network Special”) branding was only used on “Thursday Night Football.” After Amazon acquired exclusive rights to “Thursday Night Football,” the theme was replaced by the robotic, fittingly-named “Prime Video Sports Theme.” Ouch.
No. 3: “NBC Sunday Night Football,” aka “Wide Receiver” by John Williams
We start cooking with gas at this point. This is the one you hear when you have a shit ton of homework due the next day, but you just cannot miss the matchup. Great memories abound, and it is also composed by the legendary John Williams. I always thought this sounded like a “Star Wars” deep-cut. Like many of the other themes, this one is led by regal horns blasting alongside an amped-up rock group. Good—if not great—but definitively outclassed by the next two entries.
No. 2: “NFL on Fox” by Scott Schreer
This is the first of two songs where I can instantly picture myself listening while a game begins on the TV. Opening with a chorus of horns punctuated by bassy blasts, the first few seconds might be the most recognizable musical theme in all of American sports. It moves into a less punchy section that chugs with impressive intensity. No wonder pep and marching bands love it. The goofy animated robots typically included alongside this are a fun added bonus too. At one point, Fox began to use this song on all their sports broadcasts, although the practice was later
discontinued in 2020. The people just cannot get enough.
No. 1: “NFL on CBS,” aka “Posthumus Zone” by E.S. Posthumus
1 p.m. on a Sunday in 2012. The Patriots are playing somebody, anybody. A cool fall breeze blows through the semi-barren branches. Family and friends gather in anticipation. The “NFL on CBS” theme begins. You probably could have guessed this one after seeing my second place pick. If anything sounds like football, it is the introductory brass and percussion hits on this piece. Like many of the previous choices, the beginning of the song is essential to its entire success—the lead melody is triumphantly strong, almost as if it was directly lifted from a symphonic piece. French horns play as loud and resonantly as possible, imparting a sense of the weighty importance you must witness. This orchestral base is recombined and uplifted with a hamfisted rocksupport-
ing cast, a common combination which is utilized more seamlessly here. Each of the song’s sections are arranged in a manner which perfectly lends itself to being spliced up around commercial breaks, adding variety while continually reinforcing the main melody throughout the broadcast. Out of all the NFL compositions, this one is the most compelling and nostalgic. There is a reason it has been continuously used for over two decades.
On back-to-back listens, the most prominent qualities of all five of these themes begin to mesh into one another. There is not one precise formula for a good NFL theme, but there is certainly a guiding aesthetic ideal contained within each. From personal emotional impact to these sound cues and their actual composition, NFL themes are never an afterthought for the hosting network. In the anticipatory build-up to a key game, the right piece of music can make a world of difference.
Image courtesy of Noni Pattington ’25.
Nicholas Tillinghast /The Miscellany News.
The Miscellany Crossword “Misc
Mini Mania”
By Felix Mundy-Mancino
“Mini
1”
Across
1. Complementary
5. Lays down a beat
6. Museum piece
7. “Rolling in the Deep” singer
8. Had on
“Mini 2” “Mini 3” “Mini 4”
Down
1. Sonny and Michael’s brother
2. Leader
3. Author Zola
4. Suffix with opal5. Sketch
Across 1. Sass
4. Drummer’s accompanier
6. Battery terminal
7. Dutch flower
8. Radical ’60s org.
Across 1. Lasso or Bundy
4. Not new
6. “___ trifle!”
8. Swift tour
9. Recede
Down
1. NFL QB Tagovailoa
2. “For ___—with Love and Squalor”
3. Illinois tractor pioneer
5. Dull
7. Letters on an ale
Down
1. Blanket-loving Peanuts character
2. Admission of defeat, in poker
3. Mani-___, spa treatment
4. Source of flavor in food, often
5. Gym unit
Across 1. Revises
6. Not, in Berlin
7. Milk product
8. Staggering
9. David who caught a key pass in the 2008 Super Bowl
Down
1. Conclude by 2. Personal journal
3. More frozen
4. 1+2
5. Fashion
The Miscellany Crossword
“Misc Mini Mania”
By Felix Mundy-Mancino
“Mini 5”
Across 1. Show
4. Central European
6. Zellweger
8. First name in cosmetics
9. Aliens
Down
1. Fellows
2. Gas station beverage
3. Clarified butter
4. Indigenous people of Canada
5. Gusto
“Mini 6”
Across
1. Legendary songwriter Bob
6. “Midnight Cowboy” scumbag
7. Star system featured in “Return of the Jedi”
8. Cost ___ and a leg
9. Does groundbreaking work?
Down
1. Nighttime story?
2. Laurel
3. G.I. pal of Forrest Gump
4. Stick out like ___ thumb
5. Agreed upon rules
Answers to last week’s puzzle: “Covering the bases”
