Misc.09.26.24

The Miscellany News

Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866

Volume 162 | Issue 4

Employees and students protest working conditions in dishroom

For Gordon Commons—colloquially referred to as “the Deece” by members of the Vassar community—the start of the 2024-25 school year was marked by several prominent cosmetic improvements. However, a Sept. 13th Instagram post from the Vassar Student Labor Dialogue (SLD) criticized the attention given to Gordon Common’s renovations in light of the poor working conditions of the dining hall’s dish room.

The post explained that there have been serious issues in the dish room for several months, stating, “The [dish] machine is constantly leaking, making the area hazardous for workers…The College is not planning to properly fix the machine until next summer, which is simply not soon enough… The College is therefore prioritizing cosmetic changes to the front-of-house instead of workers’ safety and wellbeing.”

“It’s nice they did the tables, don’t get me wrong,” said one Gordon Commons employee in an interview with The Miscellany News, referring to the newly varnished dining tables. “But you mean to tell me you didn’t care about the people and try to get that [dish] machine fixed?”

For privacy purposes, all Gordon Commons employees will remain anonymous.

There are two main issues contributing to the condition of the dish room. An undersized drain caused flooding when too much

food made it past the strainer, a struggle which persisted from the start of summer into the beginning of Fall 2024 semester. Additionally, steam has been building up in the room due to a lack of ventilation, creating extreme humidity.

In an interview with The Miscellany News on Sept. 16, SLD member Julian Gross ’26 said, “There are puddles covering up the entire dish room, and what they have is a

drain with a one-inch diameter pipe, which is insufficient to drain it.” SLD is in regular communication with both employees and administrators, which has allowed the organization to learn key facts about the situation. “The College’s plans at this point are to replace that with a four-inch wide pipe…the College says that in order to install that, they would need to go down into the basement, take all the food out of the freezers and open

up the ceiling to install the pipe,” Gross added.

Because of this, SLD advocates were told by administrators that replacing the drain pipe would have to wait until Gordon Commons could be closed for a significant period of time, either during winter or summer break.

“An undersized drain for the strainer led to flooding when too much food made it past the strainer,” Dean of the College for Campus Activities Dennis Macheska confirmed in written correspondence with The Miscellany News on Sept. 20. However, he asserted that the drain problem has since been addressed by Facilities Operations: “The drain was reworked on 9/18, which we hope solves the issue.” He added that there are no further anticipated repairs.

Facilities Operations installed a PVC pipe, which directs excess water from the dish washing machine to the drain. To date, the pipe has eliminated the occurrence of daily floods. But several Gordon Commons employees have complained about the manner in which dining management has addressed the flooding problem. One employee recounted approaching maintenance workers on Sept. 17: “It’s crazy because a few weeks ago they said that they couldn’t fix [the pipe] until December. It took me really forcing them. When I forced it, that’s when they came over and fixed it. They should’ve done it a couple weeks ago. Why do we have to be

See Dishroom on page 3

New IM Sport hits campus Davi and Raymond “Wife Swap”

The fluorescent glow from Walker Field House’s lights shines through the holes of plastic balls. Four students face-off, sweaty and smiling, paddles raised to the roof. They flick the ball back and forth in a steady rhythm, with as much competitive spirit as a Florida retiree. This image is here to stay as pickleball becomes the newest addition to Vassar’s Intramural Sports program.

A doubles league will take place on Mondays from 8 to 10 p.m. and Tuesdays from 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Monday nights are open for everyone to come and hit around, while Tuesday nights are designated for scheduled matches between teams. Both meetings take place at Walker Field House.

The game of pickleball recalls parts of both badminton and tennis. Like badminton, the only way to earn a point is to win while being the serving team. Like tennis, the doubles game becomes an interesting whack-a-mole of volleys, only on a smaller court, which means it is easier to chat with your friends and partner as you play.

Inclusion of pickleball in Vassar’s intramural offerings joins the explosive rise in popularity for the activity in the United States. It holds the title of fastest growing sport in the country for the third year in

Inside this issue

4 ARTS

a row, according to the Sports and Fitness Industry Association’s tracking. Participation rates rose more than fifty percent from 2022 to 2023.

The troves of people signing up to play on Vassar’s campus fit this larger trend, as students now have a convenient way to play.

“Pickleball currently has 36 doubles teams signed up, which is incredible for a first-time offering,” wrote Mike Callahan in email correspondence with the paper. He currently serves as the Senior Assistant Director of Athletics for Sport & Recreation Services.

The decision to include the sport picked up steam in 2024’s spring semester. Noticing its popularity, Callahan decided it would be a good fit for students. The choice was judged as a smart one by some student workers he asked, and it was off to the races.

“The Athletics Department supported it and I got approval to begin purchasing equipment,” Callahan shared. On Mondays and Tuesdays students without equipment like paddles will be able to borrow them onsite.

Intramural sport participation more broadly has expanded under Callahan, who remembers around 125 unique participants competing in an intramural sport in January 2015. The number has since risen

See Pickleball on page 6

From the creators of “The Making of Meryl” and “Sex Tree: Uprooted” comes a new show: “Wife Swap: Rayvison.” In this series, we’ll take a Raymond freshman and a Davison freshman, have them swap rooms for a week and see what wacky hijinks they get up to!

Day 1

JOHN, DAVI FRESHMAN: Yeah, I’ve heard Raymond isn’t the best, but how bad can it really be? It’s a quad dorm just like Davi. I’m excited to try something new.

CAROLINE, RAYMOND FRESHMAN: I hope they have walls in Davi. My room doesn’t have any.

Caroline and John moved into each other’s rooms. Up first? Meeting the roommates.

TIMOTHÉE, JOHN’S ROOMMATE: I was very excited to meet Caroline! I’m not going to be around a ton this week because I have to film “Dune 3”, but I hope she has a great time in Davi!

EVELYN, CAROLINE’S ROOMMATE: squeak squeak squeak hiss hiss squeak squeak.

JOHN: I think Evelyn is a rat.

CAROLINE: I can’t keep cheese in the room because Evelyn just eats it all. I asked Timothée to please not eat my cheese, and he says

he’s off dairy because he needs to maintain his six pack for “Little Women 2: Even Smaller.” Did I mention that he thinks shirts are constricting? He doesn’t like wearing them in the room, so he just struts around all day with his slutty little abs out on full display.

Day 2

Dorm community is a key part of any living experience. Let’s see what John and Caroline have to say about their hallmates.

CAROLINE: Everyone here is so friendly! All my new neighbors introduced themselves and told me to let them know if I need anything at all.

JOHN: Somebody hissed at me the minute I stepped into Raymond. This evening, I found this ominous letter written from cutup magazines that says “DIE DAVI SCUM.” And then tonight when I got into bed I found a horse head on my pillow. Now I need to wash my sheets to get all the blood off.

Day 3

Speaking of washing clothes, take a look at how the first foray into the laundry room went for each of our freshmen.

JOHN: I put my bloody sheets into the washing machine, and when I came back after 30 minutes when my timer went off someone had put them in the garbage to make room for their clothes.

See Swap on page 9

Aurora Rose Horn interviews a group of first-year cinephiles, A.K.A. the “Raymond Film Rats.”

6 FEATURES

What happened to Sunset Lake? Read more about the effects of this summer’s weather on campus.

HUMOR

A News Editor ponders oxygen after a new asthma diagnosis.

Josie Wenner Humor Editor

Luke Jenkins Assistant Features Editor

Allison Lowe, Emma Brown News Editor, Reporter

Emma Brown/The Miscellany News.

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Concerns mount over labor issues in dishroom

going through all of this?”

The employee added that the PVC pipe is a temporary solution.

SLD expressed similar frustrations, with member Malia Weiss ’26 writing to The Miscellany News, “[T]he kind of mixed communication, or lack of communication, we’ve seen between manager/administrators and workers has been a problem for as long as we’ve been talking to people, especially in the Deece. The reason we’re getting such mixed answers in terms of when the College is actually planning to get this done is because our information is from workers who are getting multiple different answers. So we’re all left wondering: when is the dish room going to get fixed? And it’s not cool to not know.”

Communication between Gordon Com-

mons managers with Gordon Commons employees and SLD has been complicated by the fact that many managers are new hires who recently transitioned into their roles. Macheska explained this change, writing, “The transition that took place shifted the responsibility of managing Vassar staff from our third-party contractor Bon Appétit to Vassar.”

Maxine Coleman, Assistant Vice President for Facilities Operations, clarified the repair timeline for the drain via email correspondence, writing, “Initially, we thought the only solution was to re-pipe to a larger pipe, which would have required dismantling part of the freezer and could only be done when Gordon Commons was closed due to the extensive nature of the work. After subsequent investigation, however, our plumbers discovered a floor drain that they were able to tie the dishwasher into and that didn’t require closing the kitchen.”

Prior to the installation of the PVC pipe, workers dealt with flooding on a daily basis. Each morning, Gordon Commons staff were greeted by a large, ankle-deep puddle of water which they would have to mop up in order to continue with their respective tasks, a Gordon Commons employee said in an interview.

The piping issue raised concerns of employee safety. “It is inhumane to work in a kitchen flooding with water,” an employee who works in the dish room shared. “We have to look out for our safety.”

There is a significant precedent to these concerns. Last semester, one Gordon Commons employee was injured after slipping on water from a leaking sink at a station in the dining hall, landing on their side and displacing a disc in their spine. Despite reporting the leak weeks prior to the accident, the sink was not fixed until approximately two weeks later.

Addressing the humidity problem in the dish room has also been a slow process. Macheska wrote in his email that Facilities Operations cannot install new ventilation while Gordon Commons is in operation, meaning that the building will have to close before renovations begin.

Workers’ frustrations with the dish room are further exacerbated by issues with appliances, such as the dishwasher, which have resulted in increased manual labor. Because of the maintenance problems with the dishwasher, employees must hand-wash all dishes and cutlery and are unable to run the items through the sanitary rinse cycle. This has resulted in reports from both workers and students that the dishes in the dining hall are not clean.

“I hear a lot of complaints from all the other employees that things are not getting cleaned,” said one Gordon Commons employee. “Even the managers say that things are not getting cleaned but they automatically say it’s the workers, that we’re not doing our job. But it’s not us not doing our job, you’ve got six or seven people working in the dishroom on a daily basis.”

Without the ability to put dishes through the sanitary rinse cycles, Gordon Commons workers have expressed concerns about hygiene issues for people eating off of the dishes.

A Miscellany News reporter visited the dish room and was able to observe the loud, hot and humid conditions that employees work in. Dishes are washed in murky, light brown water after being transported on a plastic conveyor belt. Underneath the tracks of the conveyor belt, dark colored mold lines the metal basin. Mold has also grown on the pipes and food scraps collector, in addition to lining the metal underneath the conveyor belt that dishes are rinsed on, and water coats the floor by the sinks.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen with the molding, but come on,” said a member of the dining hall’s staff. “That should not be happening with people eating and carrying on.”

The dishwasher’s state of disrepair has also presented challenges for cooks in the dining hall kitchen. Without the resources to efficiently clean pots, pans and cooking utensils, the production of food has slowed significantly.

In the face of various challenges, employees have highlighted the benefits of students calling attention to their working condi-

tions. In an SLD community meeting on Sept. 20th, one dining employee expressed, “If you [students] voice your opinions, they’ll be heard, while ours will be brushed off most of the time.”

Class of 2026 Senator Connor Dalgaard, in an email correspondence to The Miscellany News, stated, “As the Chair of the Residential Affairs Committee, I was very concerned when I learned about the conditions in the dish room. We, as students, should encourage Vassar to create safe and healthy work environments for all of its employees.”

SLD spread a petition calling for a new dish machine, which has subsequently gained over 400 signatures, through their Instagram page and in-person tabling. In regard to this, Macheska wrote, “The dish machine in the Gordon Commons does not need to be replaced and to do so would be wasteful and unnecessary. [T]he plumbing and venting needs to be replaced for the current machine to work effectively.”

While much of the labor that goes into maintaining Vassar’s daily operations occurs away from the view of students, SLD advocates have emphasized the importance of remaining aware of these issues. Weiss wrote, “[I]t feels like part of this lack of attention and urgency is because we can’t see what’s happening back there…You can sometimes hear folks when you’re putting your dishes away, but you can’t see the people who are actually cleaning those dishes. It almost feels like this big mechanical robot is washing your dishes. I think this creates a real disconnect and a lack of incentive to fix the problem.”

During the community meeting, Gordon Commons employees expressed that the relationship between Vassar’s employees and students is often one of mutual care. “We hear time and time again from employees of the College that we’re the people who make this a place they love…I think we as students reciprocate that and want that relationship,” Gross said. “We really just want to appreciate the workers who do such good things for us and who are mistreated by the College.”

Additional reporting by Sarah McNeil and Makenna Monaghan.

On Thursday, Sept. 12, Judge Cathy Seibel ruled that the women professors’ pay equity lawsuit can proceed in its entirety. Her decision denied the College’s attempt to dismiss the lawsuit’s Equal Pay Law claim.

The five plaintiffs lauded the decision in a recent statement, saying, “We are grateful for District Judge Seibel’s ruling… We remain deeply committed to ensuring women’s fair pay…and hope Vassar will take immediate and meaningful steps to bring the College’s actions in line with its professed values.”

The lawsuit, filed in August 2023 in federal court by Professor of English Wendy Graham, former Professor of History Maria Höhn, Professor of Film Mia Mask, Professor of Physics and Astronomy Cindy Schwarz and Professor of Psychological Science Debra Zeifman, alleges that the College has underpaid and underpromoted its female professors for decades. New sections added in January claim that female professors were told they could not negotiate their starting salaries but that male professors were permitted to.

Judge Seibel’s ruling this month may lead to higher equal pay protections for women throughout New York State. Her ruling considered a newer, expanded New York Equal Pay Law that courts had neglected to consider in previous judgements. Now, women in New York must receive equal pay for “substantially similar work” as men, not just “equal pay for equal work.” Attorney for the professors Michelle Lamy commented on the significance of the ruling, writing that “The decision is…an important advancement in the fight for equal pay—not just for the women of Vassar College, but also for women throughout the state of New York.”

Student reaction to the lawsuit was spirited, with hundreds turning out in a Sept. 2023 protest in support of the professors, it has been difficult to maintain the momentum as the case drags on into its second year of litigation. Emma Adams ’25 [Disclaimer: Adams is an Arts Editor for The Miscellany News], a member of HearUsOut, a group dedicated to increasing awareness of the issue, said that the organization intends to revive campus discussion. “I hope that HearUsOut can be a presence on campus again this year. As for the coming months, I hope to try

and spread some awareness among our students again, especially those first years who have just arrived.”

Adams also reaffirmed the group’s commitment to the female professors, writing, “The denial of Vassar’s motion to dismiss is an incredibly important victory. Vassar needs to realize that they cannot silence our professors any longer, and HearUsOut will continue to pressure the administration to pay our professors fairly.”

The College maintains that it is compliant with the law and dedicated to pay equity. In a written correspondence with The Miscellany News, attorney for the College Camille Olson reiterated 2023 statements from Anthony Friscia, former chair of the Board of Trustees, that “Vassar believes it has fair and equal pay practices and it places a high priority on compliance with equal pay under the law, a commitment that is long-standing.”

In the next stage of the lawsuit, the professors and the College will exchange evidence in a process called discovery, which has been ongoing informally since at least as early as January. Judge Seibel is assigning magistrate judge Victoria Reznik to facilitate the process, a step Seibel does not

normally take. “I can just tell [it] is going to be one of those cases,” Judge Seibel stated in the Sep. 12 hearing. “I know it’s going to be complicated. The College’s motion to dismiss, while rejected by the court, extended the case by nearly a year. In October, the College indicated in a letter to the court that it would attempt to dismiss all five of the lawsuit’s claims. By December, the professors had amended their complaint to remedy the College’s concerns. In January, the College indicated that its concerns were still not resolved.

On Jan. 30, the professors responded to the College with a second amended complaint, which abated all of the College’s concerns besides one concerning the New York State Equal Pay Law. The College attempted to dismiss the professors’ New York State Equal Pay Law claim in February. It was this attempt that was rejected by Judge Seibel in the hearing on Sept. 12. Attorneys for the professors are now undergoing preparation for a potential trial. “Plaintiffs regret Vassar’s continued insistence on fighting them, rather than working alongside them, to achieve equal pay,” Lamy wrote in a written statement. “They are fully prepared to take that fight all the way through trial, if necessary.”

Benjamin Savel Guest Reporter Emma Brown/The Miscellany News.

LL Cool J launches comeback with album ‘The FORCE’

Jesse Koblin Senior Editor

To the delight of hip-hop fans, old heads and genre purists, Sept. 5 heralded the return of legendary hip-hop emcee LL Cool J delivering his new record “The FORCE” after an 11-year hiatus. “The FORCE” (standing for Frequencies Of Real Creative Energy) is the meticulous product of LL Cool J’s long-time label Def Jam Records, a titanic studio within the hip-hop industry. On this new album, LL Cool J (whose birth name is James Todd Smith) delivers 14 tracks over 44 minutes of transcendently relevant and fresh hip-hop music. Despite his veteran status and long time out of the rap game, he sidesteps reiteration with a diverse slew of collaborations and a pervading ethereal hardcore hip-hop production style. “The FORCE” packages old-school East Coast rap rhyme and beats within the forward-facing auditory soundscapes of veteran producers, spawning a powerful synthesis of content and form.

The power and acclaim of “The FORCE” should not come as a surprise—LL Cool J is one of the most groundbreaking hip-hop artists, a pioneer whose influence on the genre is undeniable. His early 1984 single “I Need a Beat” helped define the spare production and aggressive flow that would characterize mid-80s hip-hop, cementing his status as a seminal creator. The artist built on his sparse, brash sound with a series of commercially successful releases such as 1987’s “Bigger and Deffer,” which sold over two million copies in the United States, and 1990’s “Mama Said Knock You Out,” which went double Platinum. LL Cool J’s innovation and success have been recognized with his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2021 and be -

coming the first rapper to win the Kennedy Center award, emblematic of a legacy far exceeding just the cultural sphere of rap music.

LL Cool J has been among the most integral voices in the classic hip-hop canon, but as his stature has risen, his successful career as an actor has eclipsed his work in music production. He appeared in Barry Levinson’s film “Toys” (1992), “Halloween H20: 20 Years Later” (1998), and various other movie roles until landing in “NCIS: Los Angeles” (2009). There, LL Cool J starred as Navy SEAL Sam Hanna for 14 years, a prominent role that has become a focus of his career. He is also a consummate entrepreneur, having released a clothing line, written four books and founded a music label. Over this time, LL Cool J’s music output has dwindled, resulting in his apparent retirement from contemporary hip-hop culture—he even announced his retirement in a 2015 post, which was then deleted.

Generative and exploratory, Q-Tip never lets an idea or sound last long enough to disrupt the album’s consistent sonic heterogeneity.

LL Cool J’s gravitation away from the hip-hop music he shepherded is all the more reason why the strength of “The FORCE” surprises and delights. Across this album, he takes a myriad of sonic approaches spanning tones, cultural influ-

ences and production styles. The opening track, “Spirit of Cyrus,” is a menacing and cryptic gangsta rap track featuring Snoop Dogg and a call for abolitionary violence, setting the tone for LL Cool J’s modernized sonic experimentation within a classic hiphop space. The vocals are solid and relentless, but the real magic, here and in the rest of “The FORCE,” is the electro-funk production by Q-Tip of A Tribe Called Quest. Q-Tip is as prolific a producer as LL Cool J is a rapper and brings a relentless inventiveness track over track, synthesizing a plethora of glossy and mysterious beats, samples and musical accompaniments. Q-Tip’s production stews within the traditions of soul and funk with a faux-electro production, deploying head-slapping juxtapositions and left-field samples into every track. Generative and exploratory, Q-Tip never lets an idea or sound last long enough to disrupt the album’s consistent sonic heterogeneity.

The variety of music on “The FORCE” moves quickly and surprises you at every turn. For example, “Black Code Suite” starts with a rap describing how the legacy of slavery permeates everyday life. Then, the song musically shifts gears, and the last two minutes feature a kora played by virtuoso Sona Jobarteh over the chorus “Read your Black Code.” The middle-of-album track “Huey in the Chair” sees LL Cool J comparing his prolific contributions to Black social consciousness to Huey P. Newton, and this is punctuated by the comedically throaty delivery of Busta Rhymes and a jittery 6/8 drum groove sampled from “Halleluwah” by the Krautrock band Can.

On “The FORCE,” LL Cool J explores Black social consciousness and politics through allusions to Black Panthers and influential thought leaders, linking the bluster

and bravado of gangsta-rap to a refined ideological militarism honed in defense of hip-hop’s racial history. LL Cool J is known for his R&B songs and lighter cultural production as much as his rap persona, so the emergence of his hard-edged political thought in “The FORCE” indicates 11 years of philosophical refinement influencing both sonic aesthetics and lyrical content.

The album closes with “The Vow,” which spotlights three unsigned rappers: Pablito, J-S.A.N.D. and Mad Squablz. LL Cool J is a perpetual collaborator and invites listeners and his contemporaries to dwell within and generate new findings across the music, each track of “The FORCE” being a mosaic of honed creative choices. Hip-hop is an inherently exploratory artistic presence that resists easy compartmentalization and rebels against established cultural mores. LL Cool J channels hip-hop’s regenerative ethos by harnessing the productive tensions of eclectic sounds and samples, including contemporaries to create an album that represents the sum of many discrete parts.

While LL Cool J’s acting gig and side businesses might have cemented him as a legacy act, forever a prior innovator rather than a current voice, he has returned to music with undeniable vigor and enthusiasm to share the creative process with his peers. For returning acts who cast a shadow as long as LL Cool J has over hip-hop, a grand return is often retreading one’s initial successes; instead, he opts to take his distinctive style and work with the personnel and sounds of a new hip-hop generation. “The FORCE” represents LL Cool J’s modernization of his oeuvre in an evolving hip-hop landscape by tapping new frequencies of authentic, creative expression to make up for lost time.

How film fosters community in Raymond House

Aurora Rose Horn Guest Columnist

On Wednesday and Friday nights at 9 PM, a group of students gather in the Multipurpose Room (MPR) of Raymond House. The room comes alive as the once-static air fills with the chatter of friends meeting up and people becoming acquainted with each other for the first time, and the night culminates in the watching of a film of the participants’ choosing. So far, the cohort has watched “Spirited Away,” “Bottoms,” “Clueless” and “La La Land,” just to name a few, and they don’t intend to stop any time soon. The group chose a name for themselves befitting of their location: the Raymond Film Rats.

The Film Rats are the brainchild of a group of Raymond residents in the Class of 2028 who had the idea to watch a movie after returning from Gordon Commons one night when founding member Noah Mangual ’28 suggested that they make it a weekly gathering. Mangual said of the Film Rats, “It really feels like a community that I’m a part of.” Indeed, community is the perfect word for it, as each member plays a role: Trevor Brown ’28 sends out a weekly email, Miguel Solano Paz ’28 provides his laptop (which has an HDMI port) and the other members vote on a film using a survey that Brown set up for those on the mailing list.

“[Film Rats] gives us a place to meet other people we don’t usually interact with,” Solano Paz said. “People who have different classes than me, who live on different floors, who I’ve never seen before. With the Film

Rats, I get a chance to speak to them. We also invite people from other houses sometimes, so it’s just a good place to hang out with your friends.”

As Solano Paz mentioned, the weekly gatherings are open to more than just Raymond residents. Students from other houses are generally invited by their Ray-dwelling peers, which adds to the fun of it all as people who have perhaps never set foot in Raymond can explore it for the first time.

Of course, Brown and Solano Paz have also come across some challenges when scheduling and planning their weekly Film Rats meetings. They had to move their gatherings to Wednesdays and Fridays since No Such Organization (NSO) had use of the Raymond MPR on Monday and Tuesday nights.

Another problem the group has run into is the lack of an HDMI cable. “Usually we either go to Davison to borrow one or we ask a few of the other students,” Solano Paz said. “It’s just been a trouble. We might either just buy an HDMI cable or find someone who we can borrow it from for a long time.”

People sometimes attend Film Rats meetings not just for the films but to mingle with other students. The conversations do revolve around the films, but students also discuss their day-to-day lives. One regular attendee, Xhoaldo Prenga ’28, said, “Even if I’m not watching the movie, being around a bunch of smart people makes me feel studious.”

According to Solano Paz, the Film Rats do not plan on making themselves an official club unless it is absolutely necessary. As Brown put it, they are simply “a spattering of individuals who are engaged in film.”

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

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‘Interplay’: Witnessing music’s transformative, elusive power

Skelly Guest Columnist

Afternoon, Sunday, Sept. 15. I was hurrying out of a band rehearsal, guitar in hand, on my way back to Jewett. As I was walking the path in front of Davison, an old man, clearly a visitor, pointed at my guitar case and asked, “You’re a guitarist?” I said “I am,” and he asked me where the Skinner Hall of Music was. He told me that there was an elite group of musicians playing there at 3 p.m. Now normally, a conversation would end here. I would say, “I’ll try to make it,” knowing damn well I will not, and this stranger would go about his day. But we kept talking.

Eventually, after discussing our shared love for and training in classical guitar, he asked me something that caught me a little off guard. “Why do you think all the greatest musicians also happen to be the kindest, most gracious people?” At first, I did not know if I even agreed with his statement. But I responded by explaining how some musicians’ worldliness and humility likely comes from the detachment of their ego, which they have achieved through rigorous practice and experience. In other words, their hearts and minds are open, man. I guess I passed his test, because he shook my hand and said, “I’m Mark.” Mark and I eventually parted ways and I made my way up to my dorm. Now, I am not religious, nor am I very superstitious. But the level of serendipity I felt meeting this guy…I began to wonder what would happen if I did not go to this concert. Curiosity got the better of me, and I began my trek to Skinner.

I walked into the recital hall, and on stage, I saw a shiny, black nine-foot Steinway, a carefully tailored drum kit and an antique-looking double bass. As I was soaking in the scene, I heard a voice beside

me say, “Would you mind if I sat next to you?” It was Mark! “No, not at all,” I said. Eventually, the musicians walked out on stage, took their positions and began playing their version of “I Thought About You” by Jimmy Van Heusen. I was immediately blown away. From the start, these guys sounded as if they were all extensions of each other, and it was no wonder why they titled their performance “Interplay.” After the first tune, Vassar’s own Professor Jeff Siegel, on drums, introduced his bandmates: pianist Nick Hetko and bassist Rich Syracuse. They then began their rendition of Chick Corea’s “Windows.” Hetko had the intro, and he began by playing an undulating melody—soft but harmonically dense— which he then expanded into a Liszt-esque mini-concerto. Hetko’s melodies reflected a nostalgic sorrow so potent that it forced my eyes to well up. Right at that point, Syracuse slid down into a low note, grounding Hetko and producing a minor nine chord so well-voiced I had to try really hard to not let my tears fall next to Mark. Siegel entered the mix effortlessly and with the perfect amount of tact, utilizing his entire kit beautifully to create sparks of color that rang out above the euphony. Solo after solo, tune after tune, the trio kept blowing my mind. Though, as I looked around, I noticed something strange. I was one of two students in attendance. Two. The rest of the audience? Less than a couple dozen senior citizens. This was not acceptable—these are world-class musicians, and no one is here to experience them except two kids, a few more octogenarians and Mark! Then, underscored by Siegel’s “Evie’s Theme,” I wondered: Why the hell wasn’t anyone here?

My first thought was bad advertising. We students are blissfully unaware of half the things that go on around campus, espe -

cially a jazz trio concert on a Sunday afternoon. However, there were people who do not live on this campus who were at that concert, so I am not ready to fully accept that justification. My second thought was that the genre might scare people off—not

everyone likes jazz. Still, there is a sizable audience for it on campus. People love the big band at the Yule Ball as well as the recitals at the end of each semester. Maybe everyone was just incredibly busy, as I was that Sunday.

My pessimism began to get the best of me, and I wondered if we, students at a liberal arts college, think we are too good for art like “Interplay.” Is it possible that if we were to take away the given circumstances of a friend being in a performance or the renown of, say, a Broadway show, no one except old people would show up to experience a concert or theater? Hell, the only reason I showed up to “Interplay” was because of a sign from God. I do not have a definitive answer to that question, but what I can say is this: Had I stayed in my dorm, I would have missed one of the greatest live performances I have ever seen. I would have missed Hetko’s energetic, emotional expressions, Syracuse’s sprinting bass and Siegel’s crisp, creative grooves. I do not mean to guilt-trip anyone with this article—we all have a lot of stuff going on in our lives and recreational activities, particularly artistic ones, are among the first things to fall by the wayside once everything gets busy. However, as this semester trudges forward, I implore you to seek out these small, seemingly inconsequential performances. Go to that jazz concert, go to that play reading, go to that guest lecture. All art has the potential to inspire and move, but it will not come to us. Mark came all the way from Stone Ridge across the river and yet, we can not walk a quarter mile? In a single afternoon, through the chance encounter with a stranger and the subsequent performance we witnessed together, my outlook on art changed—a big part of my ego was detached. In other words, my heart and mind were opened, man.

Documentary film ‘Leviathan’ breaches genre conventions

Allen Hale, Nicholas Tillinghast Senior Editor, Humor Editor

“Leviathan” is visceral. The 2012 film, directed by Lucien Castaing-Taylor and Véréna Paravel, tracks life aboard a commercial fishing vessel off the coast of New England, a 24-hour operation that disorients one’s sense of time. A boat plows through waves as seabirds squawk, water churns, machinery wails and mounds of fish flop on the deck. The cacophony is demonstrated in an extended but controlled manner, with scenes often remaining still for long periods.

Count the number of shots in “Leviathan”; It’s under 50 for sure, which is rare in a feature-length film. When a particular image seems like it has run its course, something unexpected happens—a subtle gesture from the directors saying, “No, keep watching.” For instance, an extended wide shot below deck captures a crewmember watching television. As it continues into minutes two and three, the crewmember’s eyelids grow heavier and heavier, eventually shutting completely as he dozes off.

There is a quiet confidence in the directors’ approach to filmmaking, not only in the extended shot lengths, but that the entire film is shot on GoPros plastered across the boat, high on the bow, dangling in and out of the water, in a vat of fish heads. You are likely familiar with GoPros as a technology—tiny cameras ideal for capturing fluid adventure sports—and that might be where it ends. “In “Leviathan,” they are in-

stead placed around the boat like surreal security cams.

Documentary filmmaking comes with many conventions: handheld cameras, carefully composed interviews, authoritative voiceover and maybe some clunky director-on-screen moments. “Leviathan” throws all of those conventions overboard, and rightfully so; A traditional approach to documentary on a commercial fishing boat would collapse in on itself given the chaos and danger of its daily activities. Instead of standard interviews, we hear gurgling sounds of workers shouting, produced by the GoPros’ water-logged mics.

Throughout the film, you get a sense of the Leviathan’s various features, its many wires and nets and a few glimpses below deck, but never the entire ship. It is a foreboding monster of obvious power, but indeterminate in shape and structure.

This is not to say the lack of dialogue in the film makes it narratively barren. In the

opening scene, we are offered a quote from the Bible, Job 41:31-32:

“He maketh the deep to boil like a pot: he maketh the sea like a pot of ointment.

He maketh a path to shine after him; one would think the deep to be hoary.

Upon earth there is not his like, who is made without fear.”

The Leviathan was a monstrous sea demon described in the Hebrew Bible, connotative of a formidable totality; this passage particularly emphasizes the creature’s immense might. Associatively, an immediate connection can be made between the scale of industrialized production and this bestial entity, establishing one angle by which the documentary may be absorbed.

This idea of a beast is furthered by the film’s cinematography. There is no establishing shot of this fishing vessel anywhere to be found in the film. You are thrown onto the deck from minute one. Throughout the film, you get a sense of the Leviathan’s various features, its many wires and nets and a few glimpses below deck, but never the entire ship. It is a foreboding monster of obvious power, but indeterminate in shape and structure.

Unsurprisingly, “Leviathan” is hardly complimentary of the commercial fishing industry, retaining a sense of grittiness presented by its up-close compositional techniques. “Leviathan” ardently adheres to the principle of showing rather than telling: Fish blood drips, marine life is dredged up by indifferent nets, rays are severed by hooks and clams are pried open before be -

ing kicked off board. Without any expository text or voiceover, daily violence is palpable.

For each of us, the aforementioned grotesque nature of the film largely relates to disgust with its content and the physicality of its technical assembly. Still, contrast is provided by minute interactions, including a ghostly vessel following the main ship in the night and a bird hopping around on the boat.

In spite of these evocative signifiers, “Leviathan” leaves itself open to some degree of interpretation. The boat is often isolated amidst a seemingly endless expanse of water, especially secluded when night falls upon the Atlantic. Is this a willing cog within a broader, destructive economic process, or are the fishermen simply cast out into solitary infinity? Are we listening to natural ambiance or an understated original soundtrack? All motivations and backgrounds of the crew are left undiscussed. Subverting documentary form, a sense of unreality permeates even the most grounded moments.

Towards the end of the film, the camera plunges in and out of the green-black water in chaotic fashion, complicating our sense of space above and below the surface. After this rhythm has set in, the camera is eventually suspended in the air, capturing a flock of white seabirds brightly lit by the ship’s guide lights within stark darkness. The shot is flooring, a perfect encapsulation of what makes “Leviathan” a moving experience.

Aiden

Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.

Pickleball joins bustling intramural offerings

Continued from PICKLEBALL on page 1

to about 600 participants across all programs.

“Now adding Pickleball to our programming is only going to help the program continue to grow,” he said.

It is now a standard Vassar sight to notice a pack of students—free from a never-ending pile of readings or problem sets—enjoying intramural games as the sun sets. Team cultures and traditions have developed over the years, with some groups existing for an entire student’s career, winning back-toback league championship tournaments and owning many coveted championship shirts.

Callahan loves intramural sports because of the sense of community it creates, and the space it offers for people to forge lifelong friendships with teammates. The programs are open to everyone, regardless of experience level, extending the ability to gain new hobbies every semester. And it provides an opportunity to employ stu-

dents, who Callahan says he relies on heavily to keep the leagues running smoothly.

Other leagues currently offered include tennis, basketball, volleyball and soccer. There is also an open badminton and dodgeball tournament coming in the spring. Which sports are being played rotate, with the semester divided into two sessions. For this fall, the current session features two other weekly leagues, volleyball and outdoor soccer. Around November the second session will begin, with indoor soccer and indoor tennis being played in Walker Field House.

Rotating indoors and outdoors as the seasons change allows there to be opportunities to get active year round. This session 17 teams are competing in the volleyball league, and 12 in soccer. It is a statistic to be proud of.

“These are great numbers for a school that is Vassar’s size,” Callahan said.

As for the future, Callahan hopes to offer more chances for open styles of play with

the sports already offered—like how badminton operates—where everyone is free to play as long as they would like and may come and go as they please. In the meantime, we all have a chance to run, jump and

chitchat on whatever court or field we end up on. Competition will remain fierce as Brewer takes on Brewer, but the sports will remain a way to socialize, exercise and destress over these four, long years.

Summer weather worsens water quality of Sunset Lake

Sunset Lake has been a favorite campus spot since its construction in 1913. The man-made body of water situated between CommencementHill and Sunset Hill was originally created to be an ice rink. In the 1940s, it became the meeting point for Vassar students and male visitors; in 1969, it was the ground for student environmental activism. It is the home of spring goslings, the site of Founder’s Day fireworks, an education resource and an ideal location for stargazing.

But returning students familiar with Sunset Lake will have noticed that its surface, usually clear enough to reflect the surrounding trees, reeds and sky, looks different this semester. It is covered in algae and invasive water chestnuts.

Biology Professor Myra Hughey explained in an interview with The Miscellany News that this summer’s weather, which was particularly hot and rainy, increased nutrient runoff in the Casperkill, the 11.6-mile creek that winds from Peach Hill Park into the lake and eventually, the Hudson River. “This is going to add a lot of nitrogen and phosphorus to the system, and that’s going to foster the growth of this algae and all kinds of plants in general,” she said.

Another factor, and a threat to water quality region-wide, is the infiltration of road salt. Hughey has been testing the water quality of Sunset Lake, specifically its salinity levels, with her students for years. “I would say this year is really exceptional. I’ve never seen it this terrible looking,” she said. “It surprised me. I think it surprised a lot of other people.”

Algal blooms and water chestnuts harm the lake in multiple ways. Sitting on top of the water’s surface, they shade everything below, preventing vegetation rooted in the substrate from growing. Additionally, the decomposition process of algae and water chestnut gobbles up dissolved oxygen (DO) in the water. “Fish and other aquatic animals and plants die because the algae is using all the oxygen,” said Earth Science and Environmental Studies Professor Deon Knights in an interview.

Knights, whose research focuses on water quality issues in coastal zones, measured levels of DO in various samples from

Sunset Lake last weekend. Following up via email, he wrote that healthy bodies of water should have a DO concentration between 80 percent and 120 percent, or somewhere between 6.5 and 8 parts per million (ppm). In three out of four sample locations, Knights found that the lake had significantly reduced levels of DO: Off the bridge, a concentration of 55 percent, or 5.2 ppm; at the edge below Commencement Hill, 7.9 percent, or 0.69 ppm; and near the dam, a concentration of 60 percent, or 5.3 ppm. Near Sunset Hill, Knights found there to be a much higher concentration of DO: 141 percent, or 12 ppm. Interestingly, this sample was taken from a site only slightly shallower than that near the dam,

demonstrating a remarkable inconsistency of DO across the lake, regardless of depth.

Further exacerbating the depletion of DO is the fact that the fountain in the middle of the lake, which helps to oxygenate the water, is out of commission. According to Dean Jaeger, Grounds Manager, and Maxine Coleman, Assistant Vice President for Facilities Operations, the fountain broke over summer break. Repair is underway.

The water quality of Sunset Lake has important consequences for the rest of the area. At the lakes’ dam, the Casperkill joins the Fontynkill and gushes into the Preserve. In an email correspondence, Director of the Preserve Keri VanCamp wrote, “The land surrounding the [stream] on the

Preserve is composed of healthy riparian buffers and functioning wetlands which help to clean the water.” But as the quality of water passing through the dam declines, these natural filters struggle to keep up, and organisms that are sensitive to environmental conditions die. “The water only supports organisms that tolerate poor conditions. That leads to a drop in biodiversity in the stream,” VanCamp explained. VanCamp wrote that increasing the width of the riparian buffer around the lake by planting more trees and shrubbery can help protect the Preserve. But altogether preventing growth on the lake’s surface is impossible. “There’s not a whole lot that we can do about what’s happening upstream from us,” Hughey explained. “We can notify the town and the city about it and kind of encourage them to take legal measures to clean up the watershed…but the biggest thing that we [can] do is just getting all that stuff out of there and maintaining it.”

According to Jaeger and Coleman, cleaning the algae and water chestnuts from Sunset Lake is a complicated process. To dredge the lake, Facilities Operations must first measure and test the sediment to determine how much must be removed, they explained in an email correspondence. “Part of the testing is to determine if the silt that is dredged can be reused on campus,” they wrote. They added: “This will be a significant project and is not immediate or quick as town permitting from authorities with jurisdiction is a process that unto itself can take a year.”

The summer of 2024 was the hottest on record worldwide, according to data from the Copernicus Climate Change Service. New York Governor Kathy Hochel declared multiple state-wide Disaster Emergencies this summer due to excessive rainstorms and consequential flood risks. But these extreme weather headlines are all-too-familiar; before this year, 2023 saw the hottest summer in 2,000 years. The water quality of Sunset Lake is everything but an isolated incident or a fluke—it is directly related to the onset of global warming.

Jaeger and Coleman pointed out that the growth over Sunset Lake has a terminal lifespan: “As soon as the cold weather sets in the algae in the lake will die,” they wrote. Still, it is a problem to be reckoned with—a miniature model demonstrating the effects of climate change on our campus.

Charlotte Robertson Editor-in-Chief

Charlotte Robertson/The Miscellany News.

Yaksha Gummadapu/Miscellany News.

Reflections on finding your people

Presha Kandel guest columnist

When scrolling through Fizz recently, I came across a thought-provoking question: “Does anyone else feel like they haven’t found their ‘people’ yet, even though they have friends?” This sentiment resonated with many of my peers, who felt there was an element missing in some of their friendships, but no one could figure out why it was. This prompted me to reflect on what we seek in friendships and what we hope to gain in them.

When I asked people what they thought made the perfect friendship, the words comfortability and familiarity were thrown around a lot. It seems as though when we were younger, making friends was easy. We were not worried about vulnerability in front of strangers. We were who we were. As we navigated childhood, our friendships helped shape our identities. There was no pressure to match someone’s energy; we just clicked. In high school, our friendships were defined by the things we were a part of: extracurriculars, sports, etc. We were all at the same place at the same time every

weekday. The continuous close proximity fostered familiarity and allowed friendships to grow. This feeling of familiarity shifted in college. College introduces a diverse group of people with different cultures, backgrounds and experiences. While this allows us to explore and learn new things through friendships, it also introduces the deep complexities of each individual. How do we navigate matching someone’s energy completely?

Media plays an important role in how we think about friendships. In “Sex and The City”, Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha are four pieces of a puzzle. Each person contributes to the friendship in their own way: Carrie brings her problems with men and Mr. Big, Charlotte provides support and takes the role as the ‘mother’, Miranda brings the realistic perspective and Samantha encourages her girls to just have fun. The different personalities complement each other to create a meaningful friendship. There’s a comfortability between the four women—feeling at home. We all want to be our truest selves with our closest friends; we want to be able to laugh without thinking about it, we want people to support our passions and appreciate a late-night cart-

wheel on Library Lawn (I have done this so many times). Friendship shouldn’t feel uneasy or awkward.

Currently, I am a part of many communities on campus. I work as a Support, Advocacy and Violence Prevention (SAVP) intern, am an executive board member of three organizations and am a full-time student. I cannot find myself going to the deece without stopping and chatting with people; it is a part of Vassar’s culture. But while con-

College is a transitional phase where everyone is figuring out how they mold themselves in the world. With assignments, classes and extracurriculars, finding “your people” can sometimes take time.

versations with friends bring me joy, I resonated with the sentiment that I still have not found the person I can truly be myself with. In some of my friendships, I noticed that there can be pockets of space with awkwardness or uneasiness. I had never felt like this before, and it seemed overwhelming. I recognized that I had people to talk to about it with: my friends! I also realized that I often compare college friendships to friendships with hometown friends, which was the problem. It was unfair to compare lifelong friendships to ones that blossomed only a year ago.

Ultimately, not everyone has the same ideas about friendships. College is a transitional phase where everyone is figuring out how they mold themselves in the world. With assignments, classes and extracurriculars, finding “your people” can sometimes take time. This is probably advised a lot, but join new clubs, acapella groups, or a sport. Step out of your comfort zone: you never know who you might be at the end of the year or who you might be friends with. With the friends you have, be patient. It takes time for people to open up and share deep things. Know that you are never alone.

A cappella auditions captivate student body

Sydney Mize Guest Columnist

Over the weekend, house parlors and academic spaces were taken over by piano playing, pitch matching and the solo performances of eager musical students on campus. Many students clamored to audition or re-audition for various Vassar a cappella groups, ranging in genre focus from Disney classics to TikTok hits. Through a rigorous audition process—in some cases competing against many students for one of three spots in a singular group—students persevered for a chance to perform for their peers.

Claire Harvey ’28 and Arthur Murray ’28 were two freshman hopefuls auditioning for spots in many different a cappella groups of varying music taste. Harvey’s reasoning for auditioning was simple: She enjoyed singing in high school choirs and wanted to con tinue making and performing music with

others. Murray shared the same sentiment, but added, “I was a bit tired of choral singing so I decided to audition for a cappella groups instead of the music department-run choir.” These student-run groups provide a respite from the traditional music options on campus run by faculty members, allowing the members to explore more areas of music and learn how to work together.

Samantha Rich ’27 is a second year member of the Beauty and the Beats, an a cappella group that exclusively performs Disney and Disney-related songs. As a current member, she was one of the conductors of this year’s new member auditions, as most groups allowed the existing members to contribute to the decision making process. “The auditions consisted of a range test, and some other pitch-match exercises on the piano, and a 30-90 second solo of their choice,” Rich said. New members were picked based on a few key factors; Rich added that “[Beauty and the

Beats] pick based on their audition quality and how well [they] think they will fit into the group.”

Murray made it clear that the audition process was not entirely a smooth one, citing time constraints and scheduling issues as being problematic. “It was honestly a bit grueling since everything happened within the span of three days,” Murray claimed. Some groups used callbacks—a second day of auditions with more opportunities for students to show off their abilities—to narrow down their list of potential candidates. Murray cited scheduling conflicts between the different

cesses and some failures, with some committed to new groups and others waiting until next year to reaudition. Murray is now committed to the Accidentals (nicknamed Axies), an all lower-voices a cappella group that performs many different styles of music, as a tenor I. However, Harvey will be waiting to try out for the groups again next year, hoping for an opportunity to join one later in her college career.

For those that have been offered a spot in one of Vassar’s prestigious a cappella groups, many have been met with unique traditions, rewarding the ones who persevered through the audition processes and successfully came out on the other side. Rich said that groups do “Sing-ins, where [they] welcome them into the group by knocking on their door and singing to them!” These traditions highlight the differing personalities of the many a cappella groups at Vassar College, a vast array of places for singers to meet peers with similar interests.

callbacks, as many groups had ones overlapping one another. Since numerous students were auditioning for multiple groups, this created difficulty for them to manage their days. When questioned about the overall experience, Harvey said “[she] thought it was fun,” and Murray added “The whole [auditioning] process had the nervous/thrilling adrenaline of a roller coaster.”

Through a rigorous audition process--in some cases competing against many students for one of three spots in a singular group--students perservered for a chance to perform for their peers. These student-run groups provide a respite from the traditional music options on campus run by faculty members, allowing the members to explore more areas of music and learn how to work together.

However, they both stressed the cutthroat nature of the tryouts: “The process seemed incredibly competitive,” Murray claimed. Harvey said “[she] auditioned for seven groups, got two callbacks, and did not get into either.” Murray added that “There were some people in callbacks with [him] who [he] thought were excellent singers but they didn’t get in.” A cappella groups on campus had to make tough choices based on their ability to manage an intake of new members and their need for members to fit in with the rest of the group.

The freshman auditionees had some suc-

These musical groups contribute to cam-

pus in many different ways, performing in different areas for different events. Rich says Beauty and the Beats perform on Vassar campus, like in the MUG, Rocky, or the Aula, similarly to other groups on campus. Rich feels that the impact on campus caused by the a cappella groups is great, adding that “They are entertaining and build community on campus.” A cappella groups have a special place in the hearts of Vassar students, providing an extraordinary opportunity for the most talented voices to be heard.

Nonprofit thrift store opens in Arlington

Yaksha Gummadapu Features Editor

In the heat of a humid, late August afternoon, entrenched in the excitement of first-year orientation, armed with my iPhone, I attended the Arlington Amble. As a Summer Social Media Ambassador for Vassar, I was charged with taking pictures of first-years getting their initial taste (literally, so many free food samples) of what Arlington has to offer. Feeling confident with my extensive knowledge of the shops and restaurants on the street, I was caught off guard by the latest addition to our community, Heart & HOAM Thriftique. I decided to give awkwardly asking first-years to pose for pictures a break and ventured inside, curious and excited.

Immediately I was greeted with a smile and the information that this new, shiny and well-stocked thrift store donates all their proceeds to charity. The hustle and bustle of the environment and my demanding work meant I had to leave prematurely after taking a quick span of the space. So this past Friday, wanting to know how, when and why Heart & HOAM came to be on the humble street Vassar students are bound to tread, I went back.

I was lucky enough to steal 10 minutes from the Co-Founders, Murielle and CaraMia, to hear their story. The two had met six years ago, already running their ministries dedicated to serving and supporting women. This shared passion for giving back to the community led them to join hands in opening this ‘thriftique’ (a boutique with thrift store prices) that sells women’s clothes and accessories.

Murielle’s ministry, A Giving Heart, where the Heart section of the store name comes from, was focused on helping single women and women who were dealing with the loss of a child. CaraMia’s ministry, Hope On A Mission, giving rise to the acronym HOAM, aided women suffering from addiction. Murielle said, “We try to help in any way we can. That means groceries, meals, and even mental support.” They currently provide hot meals, clothes, hygiene items and groceries four times a week on the streets of Poughkeepsie. Both women are volunteers, and they rely on other volunteers to help in the store and continue their work.

CaraMia and Murielle excitedly shared

that Heart & HOAM has many plans for growth and expansion. They look forward to putting a minibus, “Ministries in Motion,” on the road. Murielle told me, “Using a donation from a sponsor, we were able to transfer a minibus into a mobile ministry.” This bus will be able to expand the geographic range where the two can offer support and services such as hot meals. They can use the bus to travel to underserved neighborhoods and areas of refuge. Since the mobile ministry will continue to rack up costs like gas, insurance and maintenance, Heart & HOAM will play a huge role in helping bear these expenses. That is how this cozy thrift store is the beating heart of a much larger effort to offer help and support to those in need. Fortunately, logistical effort and help from fellow good samaritans holds it all together.

Heart & HOAM coordinates donation appointments via text messages. They then research the pieces in order to price them accordingly. After searching for comparable pieces on e-commerce and resale sites such as eBay, Poshmark, Mercari, etc they then sell below the standard price point. This is because the main goal of the store is to move merchandise as quickly as possible so they can feed and help people as quickly as they can. Next time I gloat about how I bought a pair of cherry red ballet flats with silver buckles for only 10 dollars, I will also be reminded of the pricing system that centers community service.

If simply supporting Heart & HOAM by buying their affordable jewelry does not feel involved enough, you can make an appointment to donate clothes and accessories. And if you are further interested in being involved with Murielle and CaraMia’s mission there are numerous ways they envision receiving your help. They would like to create a committee to help manage the minibus. This would involve social media help, research for potential sponsors, and organizing finances. They also shared that they are hoping to hold a fashion show in the spring, Murielle added “The show would be a fundraiser, so, help with marketing and styling and such would be good.” Aside from all of these avenues, CaraMia said that even ideas are a valuable contribution to them, “we are open to ideas and innovation if the students have any suggestions.”

Towards the end of our conversation, Murielle leaned in toward me and I felt as

though I was about to be privy to a secret. Instead, we began to talk about the foundational role of faith in Heart & HOAM and how that may be perceived by Vassar College students. Murielle said, doing an endearing impression of a Brewer, “‘I know it is a political place, so they might see that we are Christian and think, ‘Oh, these women are not inclusive,’ but that is not true. We are open to all faiths, everyone.” I nodded, smiling, to show Murielle that I believed her. Faith has certainly played a role in the work

that Murielle and CaraMia do and it will continue to. It is a lens through which they view the world and their purpose within it. If faith is a fueling component in a local, eco-friendly, female-run business that uses its proceeds to help people in Poughkeepsie, it does not eliminate any of the latter listed truths. Heart & HOAM Thriftique is an earnest attempt of trying to do your part and is a result of mixing business intellect, friendship and a sense of community that Arlington and Vassar could benefit from.

“Wife Swap”: Coming soon to a VCTV near

CAROLINE: I came down the stairs with my clothes and I was going to put them into the machine, when someone gently placed their hand over mine and took my clothes from me. Turns out Davi has laundry attendants who wash your stuff for you! When I got my laundry back everything was so soft and smelled like lavender.

JOHN: Evelyn chewed holes in all my clothes, and I know it was her because I came back from class and she had my favorite T-shirt in her mouth.

Day 4

Can’t have a laundry room without…a basement!

CAROLINE: I stepped into the Davi basement and my skin started clearing up, my hair got smoother, and everyone thought I was more funny and beautiful. I’ve never seen a nicer space before. Every other room I’ve been in pales in comparison. I played ping pong, watched soccer, got a snack from the Michelin-starred vending machine and basked in the glow of the pearly gates.

JOHN: I heard screams of pain coming from behind a door in the Raymond basement when I was trying to find the laundry room. Then, I smelled the worst smell I’ve ever smelled in my whole life from behind another door. I also saw some people carrying a bag that was really suspiciously bodyshaped. I cannot believe people live like this.

Day 5

Have John and Caroline not peed for five days? Worry not: they have, we just haven’t checked in until now.

JOHN: The layout of the Raymond bathrooms are so confusing. There’s a bathtub in mine, and I think on the second floor there’s a toilet inside a shower. There are also no sinks in this one, so you have to wash your hands

in the shower, even if someone’s already in there.

CAROLINE: I didn’t know this school had bidets. I’ve never felt more cleansed.

Day 6

Both John and Caroline live on the fourth floor. Let’s see how they feel about their elevators.

CAROLINE: The Davi elevator is like riding a magic carpet up to your room. They

even offer in-flight entertainment and complimentary snacks and beverages.

JOHN: In Raymond, you have to twirl seven times, do a little dance, say a prayer, wish upon a star, click your heels five times and then hand crank the elevator to get it to work.

Day 7

On the final day of the swap, we’re checking in with John and Caroline as to how their week on the wild side went.

CAROLINE: I’m a different person now than I was seven days ago. I feel enlightened and transformed. Sounds are louder. Colors are brighter. Smells are more fragrant. I feel nothing but gratitude towards my time in Davison house, and while I’ll miss it, I’m excited to see what the future holds.

JOHN: I think I’m growing a tail. Thanks for tuning in to “Wife Swap: Rayvison.” Up next: “Romeo and Juliet: A TA / TH Love Story.”

Deece ice cream chaos portends global anarchy

Long gone are the days when ice cream seekers at Vassar’s Gordon Commons dining hall had a mere one line to contend with. Now, those looking for a scoop or two can approach the freezer from either side and scoop simultaneously, a policy which has created chaotic scenes at Coffee & Sweets. Only half of the sliding-door freezer can be open at a time, and should the two scoopers want flavors from different sides of the freezer, a wrestling match often ensues. There have been numerous reports of limbs severed by the freezer door closing mid-scoop as somebody went for a flavor on the other side.

“It’s true,” one junior said. “I only wanted a little bit of my favorite ice cream flavor, Perry’s® Queen of Hearts, and it cost me my right arm.”

Other students confirmed that such incidents have been taking place. “The freezer door cut off both of my legs at the knees,” one first year student said. The student refused to comment on why any leg, let alone both, had been in the ice cream freezer, but these reports are nevertheless highly concerning and emblematic of the lawless new ice cream regime.

With scooping from both sides now possible, there is rarely anything resembling a line at the ice cream; instead, students form a mob and scoop ice cream in a manner hardly befitting members of a civilized society. Those who remember the days of the single ice cream line look back on it fondly as a sim-

pler, purer time and see the current situation as the beginning of societal decline.

“We used to be a campus,” one senior lamented. “First, the ice cream lines devolve into chaos. What’s next? The purge.”

Although this may sound extreme, numerous subject matter experts have expressed similar sentiments. When asked whether the disorder at the Gordon Commons ice cream freezer was the first step on the road

to worldwide anarchy and the collapse of the global economy, Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman had only one word to say: “Yes.”

Although an official statement issued by United Nations Secretary General António Guterres urged calm, he is said to have privately referred to the ice cream chaos as “the beginning of the end,” and a squad of U.N. Peacekeepers has already been dispatched to

Nicholas Tillinghast/Miscellany News.

Poughkeepsie.

With financial markets across the world already in freefall and rioting underway in all major cities, students are already looking back nostalgically on the world we once knew.

“At least the bucket of spoons is after the ice cream now,” one said, a single tear rolling slowly down their cheek. “For that, it’s all been worth it.”

Oliver Stewart Nostradamus

Nicholas Tillinghast/Miscellany News.

Why vape when you can inhale?

On Sept. 16, 2024, in the scenic Hudson Valley, my life was profoundly changed. To the untrained eye, I had a minor cough that would wake me every night, for months, from a deep slumber and render me unable to breathe. As any pre-med student or WebMD expert would corroborate, such an event would be considered small potatoes and certainly not merit concern. After numerous pleas and bribes from my roommates, I decided to “seek help” and obtained an “appointment” with Vassar College’s Health Services. During said “appointment” I made a confidential disclosure to a health professional that I occasionally had cough-like symptoms that would keep my roommates, several walls away, up all night. Instead of being told my roommates should mind their own business and that I looked super pretty that day, I was accused of having asthma and was presented with what can only be described as an inhaler.

I was shocked. Allegedly, asthma is genetic and since my father is guilty of asthma, in the court of medical opinion, my plea of innocence fell on deaf ears with strong lungs. I did what any sane person would do and requested a paternity test and a Punnett Square as evidence but was swiftly denied, as was my second, third and fourth appeal.

Dejected and struggling to breathe, I had no choice but to take a hit from my inhaler. Of all the hits I’ve taken in my life, this one hit the hardest. Frankly, I don’t know what they put in inhalers and I don’t want to; all I know is that shit is good.

I could feel the air going to my head. My first oxygenized thought was, “Who else knows about this?” Surely if the smokers and the vapers found out about the prospect of inhaling they would be forging doctor’s notes for every pharmacy in America. I was plagued with questions. After taking some more puffs from my inhaler, I felt like a more enlightened version of myself and I began running some numbers. Once I ran out of fingers to count on, I saw it; the true capital potential of inhaling. With a few mi-

nor shifts of a supply and demand curve, I had a real money-making opportunity on my hands.

I started small. I’d sit on benches in high

traffic areas around campus inhaling and waiting for kids to come up to me and ask where I got my sick inhaler from. While I got a few “oohs” and “ahhs” from passers-

by, I had underestimated how strong of a grip flavored air alternatives had on teens today, so, I decided to go on the offensive. I went around campus knocking vapes out of young adults’ hands, letting them rip my inhaler instead. Unsurprisingly, the results were wildly positive.

What began as a one-man operation, quickly grew into an army of asthmatic wannabes. Kids were coming up to me in class—–in Blodgett Basement of all places—–begging to get a drag of my inhaler. I couldn’t stand in the Global line for pasta, without someone offering me two grand for my inhaler. My inhaler was stolen seven times in one week. It was all becoming too much.

I stumbled back to Baldwin, inhaler-less after taking the Pasta Kid’s deal. I thought I would use the money to get on my feet and purchase more inhalers, really build up my client base, but a little voice stopped me. It was the Vassar Director of Community Expectations calling to ask why the theft of inhalers had quadrupled in four days. Suddenly, I was being investigated for conspiracy to commit racketeering in the first degree.

Appearing at my Community Expectations hearing, I reflected for the first time on how I got here. This all started benignly enough; I didn’t want to admit I had asthma but ended up tapping into an untapped market that I didn’t want to stop tapping. My representation, a Vassar pre-law student majoring in Music and awaiting the results of her LSAT, suggested I plead not guilty even though the prosecution had everything they needed to convict.

I had a choice: I could plead guilty and accept my fate with grace or I could plead not guilty and try crying as my lead defense. Despite the GoFundMe page the Vassar students I had gotten hooked on inhaling had started for me, my defense was a lost cause. My attorney was playing the guitar and singing “Take my Breath Away” from “Top Gun” for her opening remarks. I had to stop lying to myself; the allegations were true after all. I ripped my inhaler one last time, summoning the courage, and pleaded guilty to asthma.

Sarah McNeil Presumptive Asthmatic

Nicholas Tillinghast/Miscellany News.

Anna Kozloski/Miscellany News.

Do the Wordle in two every day with this hot tip!

Allow me to brag: I actually started playing Wordle before it was sold to that soulless corporation, The New York Times (NYT), i.e. I Wordled before it was cool. After he deleted Minecraft from his phone two years ago, my high school friend Nick and I would stay up until midnight and wait for the new word to drop. I would always get the answer before he did, without using a ‘strat’ (as he would say) because I’m just so smart and sexy, and also an English major. You can learn a lot about people from the types of words they guess. For example, on Jan. 24, 2022, my dear friend Nicholas guessed “IRATE,” “OUGHT,” “BLOWS,” “CLOCK,” and “LOOKY” (hilarious) before finally guessing the correct word “KNOLL.” Hypothesis proven: maybe if Nick touched grass more, he would have known what a knoll is.

The game was very popular back then, even if I didn’t know it at the time. However, I never would have guessed the insane surge in fame that Wordle has experienced in the past two years since it moved to the NYT. It has spawned countless variations, is played by billions of people and even has its own WordleBot that can analyze your guesses and compare you to other players. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve seen dazedout classmates playing Wordle during a lecture, fruitlessly trying to escape the drudgery of Milton or Beckett, only for the word to be “BOOKS.” It’s truly unavoidable: the game’s simplicity and accessibility has captivated people worldwide, or Wordle-wide. Okay, now it’s time for me to address the

headline. Many people online will tell you that the best first word to use for Wordle is something that uses a lot of common letters, like “ARISE” or “STARE,” since a lot of words tend to have the letters A, S, T, and E. But the truth is that one word trumps all of those sensible, benign starter words—and that word is “PENIS.”

Think about it. Every letter in “PENIS” is different, meaning that you get to cast your net a little wider while setting up for your

next guess. According to Wheel of Fortune, the most common letters that are always given away in the final puzzle are RSTLNE, and “PENIS” uses three of those letters!! The beautiful anticipation I experience every day as I think, “Maybe today, today could be the day where I see the word ‘PENIS’ lit up in beautiful green squares,” is something that even Freud would struggle to define. Not envy, my friend, but delight.

I’m only saying all of this so I can implore

you to follow suit: use “PENIS” as your starter word, too! Join me and the legion of almost two million unique, extraordinary Wordle players who do the exact same thing. Don’t you want to know what it feels like to attempt to hide your computer screen from other people in the Deece at 9 a.m. so they don’t judge you for having a word for genitalia on the same device you use to email your professors? I guess it’s a good thing that Connections prepares the words for you.

Nandini Likki Green Squares Only

Nicholas Tillinghast/Miscellany News.

I was disqualified from VSA elections: These were my promises

Wren Buehler Future Incumbent

Earlier this month, I decided I was going to run for VSA. I had a nice suit, a solid platform and a set of controversies queued up that would have made for great articles. Alas, the dictatorial Vassar admin had other plans. They banned me, citing “a wild misunderstanding of what the position entails” and “a stated unwillingness to act according to any and all senatorial duties.” Whatever those mean. Nevertheless, I held onto my list of promises—and will post them here for you, in the hopes that you might pressure your future VSA senators to adopt a few.

Less seating in the Deece. This would promote togetherness.

Shave a couple floors off the top of Jewett. I just think they ought to be knocked down a peg.

Open diplomatic talks with rats in Raymond.

For too long, humankind and ratkind have hated each other. With me on the VSA, this conflict could finally end.

Monkey Mondays!

A troop of wild baboons would liven up the beginning of the week.

Adopt a scorched-earth approach to sustainability. Self-explanatory.

Change mascot to the Vassar Velociraptors.

So much cooler than “Brewers,” plus it alliterates.

Return to women-only by 2030. Estradiol will be provided in the Deece for those committed to staying.

Ask theater kids to tone it down. We love ‘em, but we’ve all been thinking it.

Legalize gay marriage. You’re welcome, Vassar.

Drunkenly attempt to fistfight rugby players.

I’m a woman of the people, and the people must be entertained with violence.

Buy a clown car for the Fireflies. A circus arts club without clowns is like an angel without wings.

Erect a zipline between Davi and Lath. Because who wants to walk across the quad in February?

Nicholas Tillinghast/Miscellany News.

Demand more picture books in the library. Even STEM majors deserve things to read. Establish a lounge for sexiled roommates. For when you have a test tomorrow, and your roommate’s situationship is getting weirder.

More seating in the Deece.

Senior makes a case for AI literacy

What if I began this article with a disclaimer that it had been partially or fully written by artificial intelligence (AI)? Would you trust its content? What preconceptions would you have about the source of information, written word, or author?

I remember the first time I was in a computer science class that permitted the use of ChatGPT, one of the most prominent large language models (LLMs). The syllabus naturally contained limitations and regulations—most notably, the requirement to cite any AI usage—and a reminder of Vassar’s academic integrity policy. Throughout the course, I remained skeptical of the ethics of using a tool I realistically knew nothing about. My first experimentation with the AI ended up being the ultimate assignment for the class, when we were instructed to use ChatGPT and comment philosophically on the tool.

As ChatGPT continued to gain traction throughout 2023, the ethics of its use slowly crept their way into daily discourse. Last semester, I had a conversation about the growth of generative AI (genAI) tools, the umbrella term for AI tools including LLMs.

The individual I was chatting with proposed the idea that the skepticism around AI tools is rooted in a lack of knowledge about them and fear of their power, much like the perception of search engines before they became commonplace. However, the previously nerve-wracking technology has now become a tool for daily use, as is currently evidenced by the option to read this article online.

I was born shortly after the internet became popular, so learning to use computers and search engines was a facet of my elementary and middle school education. Once a week, we went to the computer lab and completed typing practice and various tasks outlined for us by our teacher and a lab specialist. I often enjoyed research-based tasks, when we were given a topic and told to find relevant information or sources for short reports. However, even as young as sixth grade, we were warned about the vast arrays of misinformation that existed on the internet. We were given lists of databases that contained reputable work, and taught how to identify reliable sources we found independently. Most importantly, we were shown how to recognize bias and how to acknowledge it in our own work.

When it comes to technology, the generations prior to ours are often seen as unwilling to adapt to or learn how to use new tools. I imagine that, had I been born earlier, I might have shared their skepticism of the internet and its uses. However, I was fortunate enough to grow up in an environment that instead fostered healthy curiosity about technology, and I believe that doing the same for AI tools will help build AI literacy.

This summer, I had the opportunity to work in the GroupLens lab at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. In the initial phases of my internship, I reviewed literature about overreliance and mistrust in AI tools. A common theme across the articles I read was that individuals who had previous experience with AI tools were more likely to question AI outputs in a given task. In general, overreliance—or blind trust—originated from a place of inexperience. Learning about the current problems facing the industry and what is being done to remedy them largely helped me focus on what I needed to learn about AI tools to make myself more comfortable using them.

Tools like ChatGPT are here to stay, and it is important to recognize their growing

permanence. Instead of stigmatizing their use, we should focus our attention on creating “best use” policies that are unique to the tasks they can complete. In the media, I have seen “AI cheat sheets” listing the best queries for obtaining sensible information based on what you want to know. These are great resources for beginning responsible experimentation with AI, and more people should be aware of them. Like typing and online research, AI should be taught in a classroom setting.

Another common concern is that AI will eventually replace humans. On the contrary, learning about AI can help keep its use more human-centered. By encouraging humans to work in tandem with AI, we can create environments where contributions from both are equally necessary and beneficial.

For the record, this article was not written by AI, but it just as easily could have been. There is a growing body of research on the power of genAI tools, and it is only a matter of time before they progress into consistent use. Instead of viewing genAI as an autonomous monster, consider learning more about these popular tools, and how they can be ethically and responsibly integrated into daily life.

Anticipating the Vice Presidential debate

WithDonald Trump refusing to debate Kamala Harris again, we will likely not have another presidential debate to watch. Luckily for election fans, the Vice Presidential debate is on Oct. 1, between Senator JD Vance and Governor Tim Walz. What role do they play in shaping the outcome of the race? Why were they chosen? And what could this debate mean for the polling numbers?

He presents himself as authentic, whereas Vance is esoteric and divorced from reality, a narrative we can expect to hear at the vice presidential debate.

I spoke with Richard Born, a professor in the Political Science department well known for his knowledge of American elections. I was particularly curious about the candidacy of JD Vance. According to MSNBC, the candidate is very socially conservative, disparaging Democrats as “childless cat ladies,” and suggesting that childless people have no stake in the country, even proposing that parents should get extra votes. It is believed that these statements were one of the things that prompted Tim Walz to famously call Republicans “weird” and rebrand the Democratic Party’s messaging along the lines of individual freedoms. From what I can see, Vance appears to have emphasized the less palatable parts of the current Republican platform.

“When you pick a running mate, the choice obviously comes down to who you think will improve your campaign chances the most,” Born said. “Donald Trump had a strong choice in [Senator] Marco Rubio (RFL), who would’ve been loyal and would’ve even brought in Hispanic voters, who are

already moving toward Republican candidates. But his choice of JD Vance has been a way to strengthen his current base rather than bring in new voters.”

Vance has not been in politics for long, winning his first election to the Ohio Senate in early November 2022. This lack of experience appears to be a plus for many of Trump’s base, who distrust the Washington establishment. Born points out that his backstory has a lot of similarities to Trump’s. Both attained early success and then used that success to win high office despite a lack of prior experience in local or non-federal positions. “He’s the next generation of the MAGA movement in that way. He carries on Trump’s populism,” said Born. I understand Vance’s strengths as a legacy candidate, but like Born said, the running mate should first and foremost improve the candidate’s chances. Trying to replicate the mass appeal of Donald Trump seems risky, especially with a man who has established himself to be more radically socially conservative.

In spite of this, Vance seems to be doing well within his party. According to YouGov polls, he is popular among Republicans, especially those who identify with the MAGA movement. However, Born and I agree that Vance’s views on women and childless people are alienating to swing voters. It was around the time that these former views were publicized when Tim Walz first characterized Republicans as abnormal, contradictory, and “weird.” AP has stated that this line of attack bolstered the Democratic Party’s image as pragmatic and concerned with personal freedom. It also shifted Walz’s reputation into being a more moderate and sensible running mate, one that complimented Harris well and appealed to the working and middle class.

It looks as though Vance and his baggage have actually emboldened Democrat positions. In his rhetoric, as recorded on North Jersey, Walz emphasizes the difference between JD Vance and average, small-town Americans. In his first rally, he stated: “JD studied at Yale, had his career funded by Silicon Valley millionaires and then wrote a bestseller trashing that community. C’mon;

that’s not what middle America is.” Overall, Tim Walz seems to be challenging Vance’s claim that he represents middle-American communities. He presents himself as authentic, whereas Vance is esoteric and divorced from reality, a narrative we can expect to hear at the Vice Presidential debate. I think so far, Walz has been very effective in this message. I’ve also seen “weird” become a bit of a meme where the substantive parts of the argument are reduced in favor of the comedic potential of the statement. Per North Jersey, a few days after JD Vance became the running mate, a post on X made a false claim that Vance’s memoir Hillbilly Elegy features a scene where he has sex with a rubber glove in between two couch cushions. Later, in Walz’s first rally, he said, “I can’t wait to debate this guy. That is, if he’s willing to get off the couch and show up!”

While I had a chuckle at this, I also worry that Walz may rely on trashing his opponent as a person, instead of making the Harris-Walz ticket look appealing to voters. The substance is important, and swing voters can tell if candidates are avoiding issues.

Beyond the election, the practice of attacking or “owning” opponents in debates seems like it will continue to polarize Democrats and Republicans, as well as discourage the participation of undecided voters.

Born assesses that running mates and their media appearances (like the debates) are only marginal factors in the election outcome as a whole, noting, “Of course, this year’s election is going to depend on a very small margin.” He also points out that Vance will try to give a performance that will offset Trump’s performance from Sept. 10. “Vance

is smart, he won’t fall for bait and say stupid things like Trump did.” (Born is referring to the times when Harris was able to divert Trump from answering the question. Vogue points out how she got him to brag about his rally sizes or make unsupported claims about abortions.)

In fact, there are legitimate criticisms of Harris’ campaign that were touched upon during the last debate, though Trump’s behavior overshadowed them. Kamala Harris’ harsh pivot from liberal to moderate stances may raise some eyebrows. According to The Hill, Harris herself dodged some questions surrounding Chinese tariffs, the border and the economy. It will come down to whether the candidates can focus on the issues. We have not seen either candidate in debate, so it is hard to tell whether they will stick with policy or resort to personal attacks. Per NPR, a piece of rhetoric against Walz from Republicans included accusing him of stolen valor, the act of lying about service in the U.S. military, during his speeches. Meanwhile, Walz may continue to highlight Vance’s history, or even find a new way to call him “weird” and revive that piece of rhetoric.

Especially after the last debate, there are few reasons for either candidate to resort to personal attacks. For Republicans, Trump’s focus on himself made him vulnerable to embarrassing responses to personal attacks. For Democrats, Vance will likely not have the same weak points as Trump. However, there is still room for mudslinging. For both candidates, focusing the debate on policy could make some inroadws with swing voters who are concerned about these issues. If the debate turns out like the last one, and they put more personal attacks on display, that could end up energizing their voter bases but leave swing voters confused. In terms of shortterm strategy, appealing to existing voters is not the best outcome for either party. With such a polarized landscape, swing voters often decide the race. Beyond the election, the practice of attacking or “owning” opponents in debates seems like it will continue to polarize Democrats and Republicans, as well as discourage the participation of undecided voters.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Maryam Bacchus Managing Editor

Ian Watanabe Cartoonist

September 26, 2024

Brewers Ballin’: McGrath scores twice in NYU thriller Brewers Ballin’

Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing. If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email hfrance@vassar.edu.

Name: Riley McGrath

Year: Junior

Team: Women’s Soccer

Stats: Junior forward Riley McGrath (pictured second from far left, second row) stepped up for Vassar on Saturday against New York University. McGrath has been a contributer all season for the 3-2-1 Brewer squad that saw their first loss last weekend in a tight 3-4 loss where McGrath scored twice. The team faced their biggest test yet against the nationally ranked New York University (NYU) squad and was formidable all match. McGrath’s performance adds onto her ten shots and six assists on the year.

Statement: “I am so proud of how the team has been doing this far in the season! Although we didn’t end up with the result we wanted on Saturday, I was still very proud of the team and our fight until the last second. I can’t wait to see all of the amazing things we will accomplish this season!!”

Colorado, Sanders continue to capture headlines

ed former 5-star Travis Hunter and both of Sanders’ sons.

As a Boulder, Colorado native, my childhood was marked by a disappointing University of Colorado (CU) football team. The high point was when the Colorado Buffaloes reached the Alamo Bowl in 2016, only to be blown out by Oklahoma State in a 30-point loss (38-8). Over the years, we saw flashes of brilliance with stars like Phillip Lindsay, Nelson Spruce and Laviska Shenault but had mostly endured losing season after losing season. The glory days of the split national championship in 1990 (shared with Georgia Tech) were long gone, but in 2022 after 32 years, Colorado faithful were ready to get excited about our team again.

In late 2022, rumors began to swirl that Deion Sanders—pop culture icon and retired NFL and MLB player—was considering a move to Colorado to become our next head coach. After a Hall of Fame NFL career, Sanders transitioned to commentating, coaching and working with his sons Shedeur and Shilo during their high school years. He eventually took the head coaching job at Jackson State University, a Historically Black College and University, where his sons followed to play under him. Before their arrival, Jackson State lacked funding and excitement. But with Sanders, the team went 27-6, landing the Football Championship Subdivision’s first 5-star recruit, wide receiver and cornerback Travis Hunter.

On the night of December 3, 2022, moments after Jackson State lost in the Celebration Bowl, Sanders was named the next head football coach at CU. Sanders flew directly from Atlanta to Boulder to begin what would become one of the most publicized and dramatized seasons in college football history. To kick off his tenure, Sanders brought in 50 players to replace the 46 that had transferred out from the team that had just gone 1-11. The incoming players includ-

Sanders’ time at CU began with a bang, attracting 47,277 fans to a snowy spring game (inter-squad scrimmage), the highest number of attendees in the school’s history for such an event. With curiosity mounting, the Buffs visited the national championship runner-ups, Texas Christian University’s Horned Frogs, to open the season in an exciting shootout that ended with the Buffs winning 45-42. After this victory, Fox Big Noon Kickoff headed to Boulder to cover the next game against rival Nebraska, where the Buffs secured a 36-14 win. CU’s rising profile continued the next week, with the eyes of the sports world turning to Folsom Field for the Rocky Mountain Showdown against Colorado State (CSU). That game, the 12th most-watched of the regular season, peaked at nearly 9.5 million viewers. In a rare occurrence, both Fox Big Noon Kickoff and ESPN’s College GameDay held their pregame shows on CU’s campus for the showdown. The game was more thrilling than anyone had expected. CSU put up a strong fight against the 18th-ranked Colorado team, culminating in a 43-35 double-overtime Buffs win. Many viewers, myself included, stayed up past 2 a.m. on the East Coast to catch the ending of this thriller.

The following week, all eyes turned to Eugene, Oregon, where the No. 10 Oregon Ducks hosted the Buffs to open Pac-12 play. Expectations were high for a top 20 showdown, and tensions grew when Oregon coach Dan Lanning famously said, “They’re fighting for clicks; we’re fighting for wins.” That clip continues to circulate among CU cynics in the present day. As the game began, America’s attention was on Autzen Stadium, but by halftime, Oregon had built a 35-0 lead. The final score was 42-6,and to add salt to the wound, this game was the 3rd most watched of the regular season, peaking at just over 10 million viewers. It was clear that the Cinderella story which engulfed the

Buffs in September was beginning to crumble. They went on to lose seven of their next eight games, many by just one score, during what was arguably the strongest Pac-12 season in history.

During the offseason, Deion Sanders and his coaching staff recruited a completely new offensive line—including the No. 1 tackle in the class of 2024, Jordan Seaton— amongst others through the transfer portal. They also advertised an improved run-stopping defense with a beefed-up defensive line and many returning skill-position players. In the transfer portal, they added wide receiver standouts LaJohntay Webster from Florida Atlantic University and Will Shepard from Vanderbilt. These two playmakers, alongside Travis Hunter and Jimmy Horn, were slated to be one of the best receiving corps in the nation, especially with future first round pick, Shedeur Sanders, throwing to them. With the addition of running backs Dallan Hayden and Micah Welch, Boulder fans were excited to see a much-improved team heading into the 2024 season. On August 29, 2024, the Buffs were set to host FCS powerhouse North Dakota State University (NDSU).

The NDSU game was closer than expected. The Buffs showed flashes of brilliance, but the defense struggled in the first half before improving in the second. The final score was a 31-26 Colorado win, giving the home crowd a nail-biter against a team we should have beaten handily. Heading into the following week to face a skilled Nebraska team with star freshman quarterback Dylan Raiola, fans—including myself—were nervous. Our fears proved valid. The O-line struggled all night to hold off Nebraska’s D-line, allowing Shedeur to be sacked six times and hit even more. To make matters worse, Shedeur left the field early due to a hit, leading some to question his leadership. After the Nebraska game, the Buffs faced intense public criticism regarding the team’s leadership, abilities and future.

After the loss in Lincoln to Nebraska, a bounce-back win was needed, and what better opportunity than the Rocky Mountain Showdown, which was being held at CSU for the first time in nine years. The trash talk was intense during the week with CSU’s quarterback and star receiver openly disrespecting CU, even after losing the previous year. This seemed to ignite the Buffs. They marched into Fort Collins—just 45 minutes down the road—and easily beat CSU 28-9. The CU faithful showed out to support the team.

Next up was Baylor to open Big-12 play. The betting market placed CU as a 2.5-point favorite, essentially calling it a toss-up. It turned out to be just that. Baylor came into Boulder strong, scoring 24 points in the first half. But the Buffs rallied back, culminating in a last-second 43-yard Hail Mary from Sanders to wide receiver LaJohntay Webster to tie the game and send it to overtime at 3131. Baylor won the coin toss and deferred, giving CU the ball first. True freshman running back Micah Welch capped off a short drive with a one-yard rushing touchdown, putting the Buffs ahead 38-31. Baylor then marched down the field. On the goal line, they attempted to run the ball at Travis Hunter (better known for his coverage than tackling). Just before the running back crossed the plane, Hunter dislodged the ball, causing a fumble. Fans stormed the field before the play was fully reviewed. Many took to social media to praise Sanders and Hunter, calling CU the most exciting thing on TV. Up next is the University of Central Florida (UCF) on Sept. 28 in Orlando. Six days before the game, ESPN has UCF’s chances of winning at 82.2 percent and Colorado at a +14 point underdog. With the excitement surrounding CU, as well as UCF’s undefeated season thus far, FOX’s Big Noon Kickoff is heading to Orlando for the game. America’s eyes are on the CU Buffs to see if they can live up to expectations in Coach Prime’s second year.

Image courtesy of Riley McGrath ’26.

David Bray Guest Columnist

Student ranks top 12 NFL teams

The NFL season is officially underway and it is safe to say that a clear top ten teams have emerged, along with the individual(s) responsible for their success. Despite the small sample size, some of the contenders and pretenders have emerged. Through the first three weeks of the season, these are my top ten teams and their subsequent Most Valuable Players (MVPs).

1. Kansas City Chiefs (3-0)

MVP: NFL referees.

NFL rules state that teams can have 11 players on a field at once, but luckily, the Chiefs get 18 if you include the guys in stripes. While Kansas City has been dominant, they have gotten an array of generous late-game pass interference calls which have resuscitated their chances in tight situations.

2. Buffalo Bills (3-0)

MVP: Josh Allen and James Cook.

Even after losing Stefon Diggs, the Bills offense has not lost a step. The offense looks explosive, and Josh Allen is making Superman plays all over the field. This Bills team looks like it could go all the way to the AFC championship game and lose in heartbreaking fashion to the Chiefs.

3. Minnesota Vikings (3-0)

MVP: Sam Darnold remembering how to play football.

After losing their first round draft pick and future quarterback J.J. McCarthy to a season ending injury, Vikings fans are surprisingly happy. Sam Darnold has rein-

vented himself on the Vikings. He is making throws that Jets fans could only dream of. Fun fact, Darnold is the same age as Joe Burrow. The Vikings may have found a diamond in the rough.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers (3-0)

MVP: T.J. Watt. He would win a fight against a grizzly bear.

While quarterback Russell Wilson has been out, Justin Fields has kept Pittsburgh alive, leading the offense to an astounding 17 points per game thus far. Way to go, Justin! But really it has been the Stealers’ defense keeping them alive. The defense, led by linebacker T.J. Watt has allowed less than 10 points and 300 yards in each of the team’s first three games—just the eighth team to do this since 1970.

5. Detroit Lions (2-1)

MVP: Offensive Coordinator Ben Johnson.

The combination of Dan Campbell and Ben Johnson has resulted in the Detroit Lions playing physical football with an innovative offense. Wide receiver Amon-Ra St. Brown and running back Jahmyr Gibbs have been explosive for Detroit on offense. The Lions are fun to watch with playmakers on both sides of the ball.

6. Houston Texans (2-1)

MVP: Their schedule.

The Texans enjoyed a relatively easy two weeks of the season, beating the Colts and the Bears. However, on Sunday, they were stomped on by Sam Darnold, and the Vikings’ C.J. Stroud may be going through a

sophomore slump as he improves his connection with new receiver Stefon Diggs. This team is very talented and will figure things out. Fans should remain optimistic.

7. Baltimore Ravens (1-2)

MVP: Lamar Jackson and Derrick Henry. Possibly the scariest thunder and lightning running attack in history, the Ravens are looking to dominate the trenches this year. The Ravens have had a bumpy start to the season, but they will be just fine.

8. Philadelphia Eagles (2-1)

MVP: Not Jalen Hurts. He is not elite.

The Eagles had an abysmal second half of last season, and fans were hoping for a fast start this year to wash away the bad memories. The Eagles are winning ugly games. They beat the Packers in Week 1 in Brazil and held the scorching hot Saints offense to 12 points on Sunday, but something is off so far.

9. San Francisco 49ers (1-2)

MVP: The team doctor looking after Christian McCafrey.

Ranking a team with a losing record top ten is a steep task, but San Francisco is up for the challenge. Last year’s super bowl runner up has had a rough start to the season with running back Christian McCaffrey, 2023 Offensive Player of the Year, sidelined for the first three games of the season with calf and achilles issues. Injuries have consistently plagued San Francisco who ranked 22nd with a B- grade on the 2024 NFL Players Association grade card.

10. Green Bay Packers (2-1)

MVP: Head Coach Matt Lefleur. Also, the team doctor looking after Jordan Love Jordan Love going down in Week 1 was not what Packers fans had in mind for this 2024 season, but backup quarterback Malik Willis has stopped the bleeding. Leaning on their defense and playing two terrible teams, Willis has helped the Packers to a 2-1 start.

11. New York Jets (2-1)

MVP: (Actually) their team doctor New York Jets. The Jets came into the season after a dissapointing 2023, only to fall to the San Francisco 49ers in week one. After the Thursday night loss, New York went on to win their next two games and are finally looking solid. All-pro quarterback Aaron Rodgers tore his achilles just minutes into the season last year but is l0oking healthy and happy out on the field, dropping dimes to everyone from Breece Hall to Braelon Allen.

12. New Orleans Saints (2-1)

The New Orleans are looking very legit with quarterback Derek Carr exceeding expectations. Running back Alvin Kamara is still finding his former self, but the offense in New Orleans is certainly looking threatening.

The National Football League season is 18 weeks long with plenty of football left to be played. As injuries curse teams and breakout stars emerge I look forward to shuffling around my top ten. If you do not see your team ranked or think a rival’s squad is too high, take a breath and relax, because we have over four more months of NFL football.

Casey McMenamin Guest Columnist

The Miscellany Crossword “For Your Enjoyment”

By Felix Mundy-Mancino

ACROSS

1. Killer whale

5. Ancient Mediterranean citizen

10. South Asian rice cake

14. Something taken for comfort

15. Sporting venue

16. Part of speech

17. Bareilles

18. Belong

19. Lend

20. Now defunct telephone administrators

22. “The Stranger” author

23. Oscar’s “Odd Couple” counterpart

24. Stay out of sight

26. Health regulation org.

27. Constructed

29. Purple yam

32. Undesirable male archetype

34. French possessive

35. Turow work about first-year law students

36. Wrestler-turned-actor

39. Billy Joel character who works

at a grocery store

41. 1970 Kinks hit

42. Pelt

44. Soft pleasing sounds

45. Pennies (abbr.)

46. Hog wild

48. Texting conjunction

51.Type of piety common in Confucianism

52. Outdated anaesthetic

54. Seasonal fast food barbecue sandwich

57. Edible soup dish

59. Fe

60. Peter, Paul or Mary?

61. Garfield’s canine nemesis

62. River in Saint Petersburg

63. “Where ___”, confession of coolness

64. Forget-me-___

65. Ship stabilizer

66. Misogynistic descriptor associated with blondes

67. Tel. no. add-ons

DOWN

1. Freshman Georgia senator

2. Brought in

3. Clothing tags

4. Ancient gaming company

5. Rudimentary seafaring vessel

6. Maryland bird

7. Dimensions

8. Hot licorice-flavored beverage

9. British grandmother, slangily

10. The worst family members, in comedy

11. Doctor played by Robert Downey Jr.

12. Hawaiian feast

13. Roadside rest stops

21. Have an ___ grind

22. Fish-and-chips fish

25. Four-time WWE World Champion Brock

28.Important Jewish matriarch

29. Avant-garde

30. Afleck or Shapiro

31. Vassar’s earth science building

33. Unsuccessful constitutional

addition (abbr.)

35. Unit of resistance

36. Band wary of chasing waterfalls

37. All the rage

38. Pacific island nation

40. Audibly expressed displeasure

43. Like pre-1917 Russia

46. Crab boil uniform

47. Ferrante and Delle Donne

49. “60 Minutes” creator Don

50. More ___

51. End

53. Hearty steak

54. Small mammal used for scarves

55. Indigenous people of Northern Canada

56. Wander

58. ABA Member

60. Ice Age sloth