The Miscellany News
Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866
Parents arrive on campus for annual Families Weekend
Last week, members of the Vassar community from across the country flocked to campus for Vassar’s annual Families Weekend. The event promoted a robust schedule of activities, offering panels, lectures and tours for students and their families. The program began Sept. 27 and concluded Sept. 29.
For many first-year students, Families Weekend is their first opportunity to see their family since beginning their college journey on move-in-day. Ed Cheetham, the Associate Director of Campus Activities wrote in a statement to The Miscellany News, “Families Weekend creates opportunities for families to reconnect with their students and experience a bit of what their life is like while living on campus. The panels and tours are meant for both families and their students to learn more together about the work happening in class, the networking opportunities available for Vassar students and also give everyone a chance to spend time with senior administration and learn more about the direction and inner workings of the college as a whole.”
The annual event draws hundreds to campus. Cheetham wrote of the weekend’s attendance, “We anticipated over 700 people to be on campus. We have over 350 families who have registered to attend
but there are always families who do not register and come visit.” He continued, “We try to make attendance as easy and relaxed as possible. We really want families to come and spend time with their students!”
The college organized several panel discussions for parents and students to attend, covering Academic Life, Summer Experiences for Students and concluding with a Q&A with the President and the Deans. The discussion between President Bradley, Dean of the College Carlos Alamo-Pastrana, Interim Dean of the Faculty Brian Daly and Associate Dean of the faculty and Academic Resources Kelli Duncan covered a wide array of topics, including how the College was adapting to the onset of new technologies, specifically AI tools like ChatGPT, stating the College is embracing these new technologies.
The conversation additionally addressed the college’s tuition increases. The panelists spoke of the College’s commitment to need-blind admissions as well as the College’s efforts to spread the endowment to make tuition more affordable. Additionally, they maintained that it is expensive to run an institution of higher education that provides the niche education that Vassar has.
During the weekend, families—both new and returning—are able to attend their students’ performances, games, and gain further insight into their extra-
Senior tradition rings loud
Emma Adams Arts Editor
As September winds down and the leaves begin to turn, there comes a week where the stillness of campus is punctured by the celebratory clangs and chimes from the bell atop Main Building. Each fall, Vassar seniors make the treacherous ascent from the fifth floor of Main Building to the roof, where a purportedly ancient bell stoically surveys campus. A tradition so imbued in senior culture, few stop to wonder where this practice came from, and what it really means for us near-graduates.
Based on several aged editions of the Vassar Chronicle, I have reason to believe that the bell ringing tradition was originally linked with a Vassar event no longer in existence today: Salve Night. “Salve,” pronounced sal-way in Classical Latin, was used as an informal greeting in the age of the Roman Empire. For freaks such as me who took Latin in high school, it was how we greeted our teacher (“Salve, Magistra!”). At Vassar, this definition is fitting. In an article published in an April 1948 issue of the Vassar Chronicle, one student describes the tradition: “Salve night plays a unique role in our college life by bringing everyone in the college closer together by this common bond of jubilancy.” More than a mere “hello,” Salve Night strengthened relationships
between the senior class, encouraging shared excitement and reflection of one’s role as the leaders of the school.
However, Salve Night spanned much more than noise-making atop Main. A May 1956 issue of the Vassar Chronicle described the often overshadowed significance of this night: “In the midst of the present-day beer-orgies and gay bell ringing of the new ‘Seniors’ on Salve Night the serious meaning of this tradition may be lost. The Gavel Ceremony, held in the Chapel, is the focal point of Salve Night. In this ceremony, the Juniors are formally hailed as ‘Seniors.’”
The transfer of the gavel was central to the acknowledgment of the new senior class. Student diary entries spanning back to the writings of Constance Anthony, Class of 1917, reference the distinguished transfer of the gavel. Student officers of the year past would hand off a ceremonial gavel to the new government. Accompanied by speeches, this tradition displayed the cohesive nature of Vassar’s student government, welcoming a new year of officers.
At this point in my research, I was beginning to experience extreme confusion as to the origin and lineage of these strange, characteristically small liberal arts college ceremonies. Bell ringing itself is only tangentially mentioned in regards to the greater tradition of Salve Night and its gav-
See SENIOR on page 6
curricular activities. Numerous sports teams, such as Women’s Field Hockey, Men’s Soccer and Women’s Rugby hosted home games. Other organizations held fundraising events: Vassar Ultimate Frisbee sold stickers, discs and pins in front of the Deece, and the Vassar Ski Team hosted a car wash between Strong and Lathrop. The Barefoot Fireflies, Vassar’s circus troupe, performed in their annual Families Weekend Show on Saturday night on the Quad, despite the rainy conditions.
Vassar organization Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) tabled outside Ferry House. “We chose Families’ Weekend as our platform for spreading awareness, because as a private institution, Vassar’s priorities are motivated by finances, meaning parents are also stakeholders in our efforts to divest,” said Lucy Gundel ’25 in an email to The Miscellany News. Recently, the Board of Trustees decided to delay the vote on Vassar’s Popular University
See FAMILIES on page 3
Knigge ’18 eyes LA ‘28
Nicolas Villamil Senior Editor
Matt Knigge worried it was all about to fall apart. The cold winter months had arrived in Lüneburg, a German town about 300 kilometers from Berlin, and he had just torn two ligaments in his ankle shortly after signing the best contract of his career and impressing during his first stint with the U.S. Men’s National Team. Knigge, who graduated from Vassar in 2018, was now a long way from Division III competition. But he understood that opportunity is fleeting, and underdog journeys can always come to a screeching halt.
Both Berlin Recycling Volleys, the team Knigge had just signed with, and the national team were watching him closely. And they wanted to see him moving dynamically across the court—sealing blocks, crushing attacks and ripping serves—not mending a hurt ankle. While the ink had dried on Knigge’s contract, professional volleyball deals are a far cry from the fully guaranteed money given in leagues like the NBA. If Knigge was not performing at full capacity in the months before the season, Berlin, the German Bundesliga’s perennial kings, could cancel the contract.
With five weeks until his current team, SVG Lüneburg, was set to face off against Berlin, Knigge knew he needed to rise to the
occasion. How he finished his first professional season in the Bundesliga was shaping up to be one of the most crucial stretches of his career.
Knigge returned in time to play against Berlin and, shortly after, had what he described as the best match of his professional career in the semifinals of the European Volleyball Confederation Cup, a tournament played by some of the best clubs in Europe. Lüneburg was a set away from elimination but won four straight sets, including a winner-takes-all tie-breaking set, to advance to the championship.
At the time, Knigge’s return to play was his latest unlikely feat. He was once a high school prospect denied by Division I programs, once a Division III standout ready to give up volleyball for a Fulbright Scholarship and once a professional athlete worried about his next contract.
He would soon outdo himself again.
The Start of an Unexpected Summer
After his professional season ended, Knigge returned to Anaheim, California to train with the national team for a second summer. He hoped to prove he still belonged among the best players in the country. Before arriving in Anaheim, Knigge had been named to the 30-man roster of American players contending to represent the U.S. at the 2024
See KNIGGE on page 12
As October begins, Aurelia Harrison considers our seasonal fall media craze. 4 ARTS Remembering poet Elizabeth Bishop, Features Editor Caris Lee analyzes loss in “One Art.”
Sarah mcneil news editor
Image courtesy of Karl Rabe.
THE MISCELLANY NEWS
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
MANAGING EDITOR
SENIOR EDITORS
CONTRIBUTING EDITOR
NEWS EDITORS
ARTS EDITORS
FEATURES EDITORS
ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR
OPINIONS EDITOR
ASSISTANT OPINIONS EDITOR
HUMOR EDITORS
ASSISTANT HUMOR EDITOR
SPORTS EDITOR
DESIGN EDITORS
ASSISTANT DESIGN EDITORS
COPY EDITOR
ASSISTANT COPY EDITORS
GRAPHICS EDITOR
GAMES EDITOR
SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS
LIVE EVENTS CHAIR
WEBMASTER
REPORTERS/COLUMNISTS
Charlotte Robertson
Maryam Bacchus
Allen Hale
Jesse Koblin
Nicolas Villamil
Jacques Abou-Rizk
Allison Lowe
Sarah McNeil
Makenna Monaghan
Emma Adams
Emma Lawrence
Yaksha Gummadapu
Caris Lee
Luke Jenkins
Lev Winickoff
Soren Fischer
Oliver Stewart
Nicholas Tillinghast
Josie Wenner
Henry France
Molly Delahunty
Ellie Kogan
Amelia Gracie
Lucas Seguinot
Anabel Lee
Willa Jewitt
Ailynn O’Neill
Tori Kim
Felix
Mundy-Mancino
Olivia Khan
Richard Lu
Fallon Dern
Kai Chang
Jordan Alch
Emma Brown
Ben Kaplan
Anna Kozloski
Madeleine Nicks
CARTOONISTS
COPY STAFF
Andrew Chu
Ian Watanabe
Kathryn Carvel
Darja Coutts
Grace Finke
Claire Miller
Emma Sandrew
Emma San Filippo
Edward Welch Morgan
CORRECTION POLICY
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Families engage in campus-sponsored activities
for Gaza divestment plan until February, despite the agreement signed between students and President Bradley last May stipulating the vote would be held in May or October of this year. “We asked parents to take part in an email campaign directed towards PB, withhold donations until divestment, and raise the issue of divestment in the ‘conversation with the president and the deans’ on Saturday,” Gundel added.
Regarding the reaction to SJP’s tabling during Families Weekend, Gundel wrote, “I had multiple meaningful talks with parents who were curious to know the current divestment status and were willing to do what they could to help. Going into the day, I was anticipating more direct pushback from families, but most parents I talked to were very understanding.” They continued, “Earlier in the morning we did experience some pushback from parents who talked to se -
curity and administration attempting to get our two tabling areas around Ferry removed.” Despite this initial reaction, Gundel remarked: “In my interactions, the response from parents and students was very positive.”
The Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center provided a Highlights Tour of the permanent collection as well as chamber music from 1 to 4 p.m. on Saturday afternoon with several music groups on campus showcasing their talents. Zeke Wise ’28, a member of The Vassar College Choir, was among one of the performers in the Loeb. He shared: “My mom came to visit me because she wanted to spend some time with me and also to watch me perform at Vassar for the first time. She was really blown away and I’m so happy I got to share my work with her.”
Another performer and member of a Vassar Chamber Group, Annie Brewer ’25, commented, “I think it’s really inspiring to play in a [room full] of art and the room has particularly good acoustics.” Brewer’s parents were also in attendance at the event. She commented, “They really like to come listen to my musical performances. I thought it was special because they hadn’t heard my chamber group last year so that was fun.”
Stand-up comedy group Com Nom held a show for both students and parents on Friday night. One group member, Jacob
Rulnick ’25, said of the group’s decision to host during Parents Weekend, “This is the second year in a row Com Nom has premiered on parents weekend. I think the group thrives in unconventional spaces and one way to do that is by bringing in the ‘rents. I think too that Vassar can get caught up in thinking it’s solely for students but can and should be a place for all; it gets tricky with card access, so it’s great for students to bring their loved ones into this event!”
Families were also invited to join in on several campus organization’s religious and spiritual practices. On Friday, the Vassar Muslim Students Association (VMSA) hosted a student-led Jummah prayer at Pratt House. Shabbat Services were offered by Vassar Jewish Union and Chabad Jewish Community, with both serving a home cooked meal afterwards. The Chapel hosted the Vassar Catholic Community for their Sunday Liturgy Celebration.
The programming put forth for Families Weekend is a product of numerous departments, offices and employees collaborating. Cheetham commented, “It takes so many people to make Families Weekend possible–from Campus Activities, Advancement, Facilities Operations, Grounds, Dining Services, Drama department, and many others.”
Students express concern over College COVID-19 protocols
Amonth
into the Fall 2024 semester, Vassar College has seen a surge of COVID-19 cases on campus. As of Oct. 1, 96 cases have been reported to Health Services by students, Vassar Director of Health Service Margot Schinella wrote in an email to The Miscellany News. Schinella also noted: “We have seen a decrease in our numbers when compared to this same time frame in the past 3 years.”
On Sept. 24, the Vassar College student body received an email regarding updated COVID-19 protocols from Associate Dean of the College for Residential Life and Wellness Luis Inoa. The email covered the College’s protocols for students who have contracted COVID-19. Most notable, however, was the protocol summary’s first sentence: “There is currently no mandatory isolation period for positive cases of infectious illness.”
On May 11, 2023, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Service Secretary announced the end of the U.S. COVID-19 public health emergency. During the public health emergency, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommended a minimum isolation period of five days for those with COVID-19, followed by post-isolation precautions. As of March 1, 2024, however, the CDC says that as long as a person’s symptoms have been improving for at least 24 hours and they have not had a fever during that time, they are free to return to normal activities.
The Vassar Health Service’s Frequently Asked Questions page directs students to wear a mask and begin self-isolating if they test positive for COVID-19, reiterating the CDC’s current guidelines. Inoa’s email, however, clearly stated that any period of isolation was optional and add-
ed, “If you test positive for any respiratory illness, you may be recommended to self-isolate in your assigned room based on the severity of your symptoms and any underlying conditions.”
These seeming contradictions in policy have confused some Vassar students who have recently contracted COVID-19. In written correspondence with The Miscellany News, Louisa Gear ’25 expresed, “It was frustrating to get mixed messaging from Baldwin. Some of my housemates were told one thing; others told something completely different. We were sort of at a loss for what proper protocol was.”
Patrick Cincotti ’28, in an email to The Miscellany News, stated that the Health Service did not require that he quarantine after testing positive for COVID-19.
“The important shift to note here is that from a mandatory isolation period to a recommended isolation period,” wrote Schinella, who also reiterated the importance of current CDC protocols, such as masking and remaining isolated until fever-free.
The lack of a required isolation period has caused some discomfort among students. Gear expressed that it felt as though the College’s protocols were not in support of keeping students healthy. Similarly, Lucy Gundel ’25 wrote in an email, “Generally I have felt somewhat uncomfortable… I think if I had not had Covid at the start of the campus spike, I would have felt more uncomfortable.” They added, “I think that there should definitely be a mandatory isolation period.”
Increasing COVID-19 cases have made some students more cautious of places on campus where many people congregate.
“With the rising number of Covid cases, I’ve been more weary of public places like the Deece, where spreading is a very real possibility, places like the utensil stations and the buffet lines in particular,” Cincotti shared. These fears have been
exacerbated by current problems with appliances in the Gordon Commons dish room that require staff to hand-wash all dishes and cutlery, resulting in reports of unclean dishes.
Center College Center VSA Health and Wellness vending machine and takehome tests may be purchased in the library vending machine.
“I do not think the College is doing
The College has employed some protocols to help mitigate the spread of COVID-19 and other respiratory illnesses. The Health Service is holding four COVID-19 and flu vaccine clinics throughout the fall in College Center 204 from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. The first two took place on Sept. 19 and Oct. 1; the final two will be held on Oct. 29 and Nov. 13. “According to Acme Pharmacy 168 Pfizer Covid booster vaccines and 190 Flu vaccines were administered at the first on-campus vaccination clinic,” wrote Schinella. The second clinic’s data were not available at the time of Schinella’s comments to The Miscellany News.
Additionally, Schinella noted that the College regularly disinfects facilities, monitors for unexpected clusters of illness to mitigate higher levels of transmission and provides appropriate treatment to patients such as Paxlovid and Tamiflu. Free masks are available in the College
enough,” wrote Gundel. “When a friend and I got Covid, she called Baldwin and they told us not to test if we didn’t have symptoms… In addition to suggesting that I not test, their tone was almost urgent in asking that I not test. They asked several times if I had symptoms before saying that I should only test if I had symptoms, not just if I was exposed.”
“Asymptomatic individuals should not be tested as this could yield false results,” stated Inoa in his Sept. 24 email. Gundel expressed concern over this policy: “Myself and one other person I know both experienced severe and abnormal migraines for days between exposure and testing for Covid,” they wrote. “Because this is not a common symptom, I did not test until I got a sore throat, thinking that the migraines were unrelated…if the policy changed so that anyone exposed tested, it would account for these unexpected symptoms.”
Julian Balsley Guest Reporter
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Image courtesy of Karl Rabe.
Family sitcom destigmatizes neurodivergency
When it comes to 2000s family sitcoms, one of the more fondly remembered ones would probably be “Malcolm in the Middle.” Starring an incredible cast, including a hyper-exuberant pre-“Breaking Bad” Bryan Cranston, the show was built on the premise of a sitcom where the lead family is so dysfunctional that chaotic events the audience cannot anticipate ensue. What the show also was, and continues to be, is one of the most earnest and surprisingly funny and accurate portrayals of neurodivergency in a TV show. I was taken aback by how much I saw myself in the show as someone who struggled with anger issues as a child and had to deal with the elementary school special needs system. And it is criminal how far this has flown under the radar.
“Malcolm in the Middle” is no stranger to outcast characters. In fact, pretty much every main character has a reason to be excluded from wider society. Malcolm is a genius but also seemingly cannot catch onto social cues without a mountain of hints. Reese cannot socialize whatsoever and seems more content in his mischief and chaos than anything else. Their mother, Lois, though leaning more towards just being an authoritative figure, does have outbursts quite often and has little shame in her actions despite their extremity. And the father of the family, Hal, is obsessive and compulsive, which will be discussed in greater detail later. But that leaves one character left, the youngest of the initial three brothers: Dewey.
The show throws a curveball for Dewey by making him—the most well-adjusted and kind of the brothers—a member of his junior high school’s special needs class called the Buseys. Malcolm fails to keep Dewey out of joining the accelerated learning class that Malcolm himself was part of and lands his younger brother in the special needs class in the episode “Dewey’s Special Class.” Multiple plot lines follow the special needs class, which is filled with kids with varying levels of special needs, some in terms of behavioral issues and others psychological. Dewey immediately becomes a beacon of hope and leadership to them.
It is shown throughout the remainder of the series, especially in the episode “Buseys Takes a Hostage,” that the school could not care less about the special needs class. As is reality for most kids in classes like this, they are kept away from the rest of the student populace and shown malice by teachers who merely view them as issues best kept out of sight. The episode features the class rebelling after Dewey decides to spend time away from them with his older brother Francis, escalating into them taking various teachers hostage, including their negligent teacher and the principal. This whole sequence culminates in the class finding out that the strange, manual work they had been doing throughout the episode was producing roadside lanyards for the principal to sell. The only person throughout the episode who dared to give them a real education and justice was Dewey, not the authority figures meant to protect them.
The other instrumental episode in the show’s portrayal of neurodivergency is
“Chad’s Sleepover”. This episodes features a hyperactive kid from the Buseys who spends the night with Dewey, whom, he personally vouches for despite his destructive tendencies. Unable to handle him, Dewey is bested by his father Hal, who controls Chad by giving him an encyclopedia and telling him to fill in all the circles in the 9s, 0s, e’s, etc. in the book. The big reveal that follows is that Hal, himself a hyperactive personality, has been doing this for years.
The episode “Buseys Run Away” shows the special needs class protesting the state of their lives with Dewey’s departure from the class by running away into a tree where they remain for a comically long amount of time. Now, the controversial element of this episode among others is how the Buseys look to
Dewey. In some ways, it infantilizes the special needs class by displaying that they can barely function without the calm and understanding that Dewey brings them. On the other hand, the show makes it clear that they only rely on him so heavily because pretty much everyone else in their lives sees them as lost causes, and he is the only one who helps them. In both a funny and sad set-up, Dewey becomes the greatest ally to his special needs class by being what every child forced away into a different classroom needs: someone who believes in them.
In this modern era of media, it can feel like so many shows and movies take place in perfect worlds where struggles with challenges such as neurodivergency are simply concepts and not far-reaching, tiring lifelong experiences that have many ups and downs. But what are the takeaways here? Foremost, the show humanizes neurodivergency. Instead of being invisible or sob stories, the characters of “Malcolm in the Middle,” whether visibly neurodivergent such as Chad or being more under-the-radar such as Malcolm or Hal, are in your face and part of the narrative. Compare this to the numerous sitcoms where, depending on their era in television, neurodivergent characters are either portrayed as laughingstocks or simply banished from existence. “Malcolm in the Middle” also allows us to laugh at, as the show often portrays, the cruelty of the world. These characters are not glorious examples of triumph over adversity, they are comedic reflections of our own reality where, like it or not, people on the spectrum exist and things surrounding how they are treated can be both funny and cruel.
Reflecting on losing things through Elizabeth Bishop
Caris Lee Features Editor
So, recently—whether due to the limited real estate in my head now that school has officially and unapologetically taken over or perhaps my mental juggling act is finally growing tiresome—I have experienced this phenomenon of losing things, both through sheer disappearance and outright clumsiness. That necklace from that one trip to the city a few months ago I got with my friend as a commemoration for our friendship? Gone (though the friendship is fortunately still intact). That one scrunchie that manages to keep my slippery hair back throughout the whole day without fail? Also gone. Simply vanished in the vortex. The mirrors in my room have slight cracks in the corners, my mug likewise cannot hold its fill, and just like that I have spiraled into this pattern of consistently losing things, both in physical items and mental relations. Lately, I have internalized this perpetual feeling of forgetfulness; the outline is clear but its contents are empty. And for this reason, to attempt to manifest these notions of loss from petty trinkets to personal relationships, I turn to Vassar’s own Elizabeth Bishop. Her poem “One Art” encapsulates this sentiment of both abstract and tangible loss, managing to universalize the experience of forgetfulness while also creating an underlying personal character unique to Bishop’s own life. Perhaps from Bishop, as the autumn days shorten and the coil holding our mind together loosens (or maybe tightens to the point that things start to leak out), we may learn the art of losing things not as a kind of disaster, but as a mechanism necessary for life.
Bishop’s life began with hardship when her father died when she was eight months old. Her mother, struggling with mental health is-
sues thereafter, was admitted to a mental hospital when Bishop was five and subsequently passed away in the asylum. Bishop’s partner of 17 years, Lota de Macedo Soares, died by suicide when they were together in 1967, and Bishop’s later partner, Alice Methfessel, left Bishop for an engagement with a man, after being with her for over five years. Her time at Vassar was formative, befriending poet Marianne Moore who persuaded Bishop not to attend Cornell Medical School and in fact helped publish Bishop’s poems. Bishop also met Mary McCarthy, who co-founded with Bishop “Con Spirito,” a literary campus magazine. Her legacy at Vassar is noted by inscriptions on the granite benches along the path from Main House to Gordon Commons, and last fall, Bishop’s postcards were exhibited in the library, revealing insight to her personal life, which is ostensibly absent in her poetry. However, if we take a closer look at “One Art” alongside Bishop’s biography, we can see that the poem’s somewhat blunt nature is imbued with heartache, acting both as a passive reflection on loss and active recollection on the process of losing.
The poem is a villanelle, a highly structured poetic form consisting of five threeline stanzas and a final quatrain, where the first and third lines of the first stanza repeat alternately and in the final stanza form the concluding two lines. The rhyme scheme, though not an exact rhyme in the poem, follows two different sounds: One rhyme is from the first and third stanza and another is from the second, using an ABA for the tercets and ABAA for the final quatrain. The formality of the structure creates an ease in reading, with the repetition of rhymes and lines producing a kind of incantational, obsessive or even self-convincing quality, as if the line “the art of losing isn’t hard to master” must be repeated in order to be believed. However Bish-
op’s deployment of this form serves a greater purpose than merely exhibiting her literary prowess. The highly-ordered structure conceals the poem’s emotional content—her writing is fraught with a certain kind of pain that subtly escalates to the final quatrain. This despair is not flashy or passionately expressed like the confessional poets at the time. The poem serves as a lingering ache rather than a sharp stab produced by the losing and forgetting of things past and things passing.
Bishop’s poetry is often criticized for its impersonal, objective descriptions and its cool, detached tone. Her use of the pronoun “I” is rare in her poetry as she tended to be reticent about her personal life. So, it is noteworthy that the second half of her poem contains the pronoun. A quick examination of previous drafts of the poem reveals Bishop’s situation—in the mid-60s, she initially composed the poem during her separation from Methfessel. In initial drafts, Methfessel’s blue eyes are alluded to, described as “asture” or “azure.” However, the final draft has residues of Methfessel only remaining in “the joking voice, a gesture I love” in the final quatrain. A self-re-
flexive “Write it!” aids to the underlying emotion along the repetition of “like” in the same line—“though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.” What began as a certainty that loss is not a big deal is now a hesitancy that perhaps loss—especially that of a loved one—is something more elusive and stubborn than we thought.
This week commemorates the 45th anniversary of Bishop’s death. She remarked to her friend and fellow poet Robert Lowell in 1948, “When you write my epitaph, you must say I was the loneliest person who ever lived.” And so, as the leaves brighten and fall and our lives revolve faster and faster around the next deadline or looming exam, we may forget plans here and lose ambitions there. My own notion of loss in the sense of losing both trivial items and idealistic motivations and purpose seems to be temporarily relieved through “One Art,” if only through the cognizance that I can acclimate to loss, both as a feeling and activity, through the inevitable repetition of the act, even if I cannot quite grasp—like Bishop—what my attitude exactly is towards the loss itself.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Ben Kaplan Columnist
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Image courtesy of Vassar Archives and Special Collections.
Impatient listener tries to influence Spotify Wrapped data
Maryam Bacchus Managing Editor
Ihave a confession: I have been cheating on my Spotify Wrapped.
For those who are unfamiliar, the music streaming platform Spotify gifts its users a final summation of their listening history towards the end of the calendar year. The report contains listeners’ top five genres, artists, songs and many more creative categories. Spotify Wrapped’s annual release is highly anticipated, and towards the final months of data tracking, users often joke about listening to specific songs or artists in an attempt to sway their data.
A few years ago when Wrapped was just gaining traction, a friend introduced me to last.fm—a platform that tracks the majority of the aforementioned data in real-time. With last.fm, users can choose the time frame for which they want to see their charts for most listened to artists, albums and tracks. Though not as expansive, the platform provides a quick fix for those of us who cannot wait until December for the annual Wrapped release. The charts are also a great indicator of what is likely to end up on one’s Wrapped, and therefore can be used to determine what to listen to less or more towards the end of the year.
As we approach the later months, I have been anxiously checking my last.fm to determine whether or not I feel it has been representative of my listening habits over the past year. Below, I will list my current top five versus what I think should be at the top of my charts.
Current charts:
5. “Rauw Alejandro: Bzrp Music Session Vol 56” -
Rauw Alejandro, Bizarrap
Considering this was a featured song in a previous article of mine, I am unsurprised that it is in the top five. Rauw Alejandro has definitely been my favorite artist of the past year, and this collaboration as part of the independent Bzrp Music Sessions series has been a staple feel-good element in my rotation.
4. “Santa” - Rauw Alejandro, Ayra Starr, Rvssian
Featuring West African vocalist Ayra Starr and Jamaican vocalist and producer Rvssian, “Santa” was undoubtedly my song of the summer. Alejandro is known for experimenting with different musical backgrounds, and this fusion of Afro-Caribbean sounds is one of my favorites.
3. “Fiebre” - Bad Gyal
The lighthearted and melodic “Fiebre” brightened up the winter months during the 2023-2024 transition. Spanish artist Bad Gyal sings this upbeat tune, sure to get stuck in your head from the repetition throughout the song.
2. “PERRO NEGRO” - Bad Bunny, Feid
According to my 2023 Wrapped, Bad Bunny was my artist of the year. His most recent album—“Nadie Sabe Lo Que Va A Pasar Mañana”—was a deviation from his typical reggaeton sound. Featuring trap hits “Monaco” and “PERRO NEGRO,” the latter quickly became popular online and in my life. Colombian artist Feid is featured on the song, and the title is inspired by a nightclub in Medellín.
1. “Quevedo: Bzrp Music Session Vol 52” - Quevedo, Bizarrap
This past May, my childhood best friend
and I spontaneously bought tickets to see Bizarrap. We went into the concert with few expectations other than needing to see this song live. The DJ seemingly ended his set with an unreleased remix, and we were prepared to be let down. However, as the crowd shouted the chorus, he reappeared on stage for an encore of his arguably most popular music session. We. Went. Crazy. My obsession with this song started when I was abroad last fall and planned a trip to Spain—Quevedo’s homeland—and it has been a daily reminder of memories of weaving through crowded foreign cities and concerts in search of the little pleasures in life.
Should-be charts:
5. “UNA NOCHE EN MEDELLÍN - REMIX” - Karol G, Cris MJ, Ryan Castro
As a follow-up to her award-winning album “Mañana Será Bonito,” Colombian artist Karol G released an extra mixtape, including a remix of Cris MJ’s “Una Noche En Medellín.” This song first appeared as the backdrop to travel videos for Colombia, one of my dream trips. After looking it up, I was immediately hooked and listened to it religiously during spring semester. It was the perfect transition song into summer, and remains a favorite now.
4. “DILUVIO” - Rauw Alejandro
The most-streamed song on Alejandro’s most recent album, “DILUVIO” was not an instant favorite, but grew on me after a friend recommended putting it on my fall 2023 semester playlist. With its ever-catchy chorus and accompanying rhythm, the track has become my favorite on the album.
3. “Santa” - Rauw Alejandro, Ayra Starr, Rvssian
As I mentioned, “Santa” was my song of the summer, and it has found its way into my fall rotation. Out of the five currently on top, this is the one I would maintain.
2. “LUNA” - Feid, ATL Jacob
In his personal discography, Feid has a knack for conveying emotion through song. Short and sweet, “LUNA” is about forlorn feelings towards someone he once treasured.
1. “Brickell” - Feid, Yandel
Another example of the artists’ ability to evoke feelings, “Brickell” is about a memorable day that is later painful because it is shared in a situationship where only one of the members seems to want commitment. Featured artist Yandel’s vocals only further the feeling of yearning for this possible love.
Honorable Mention: “EL RITMO QUE NOS UNE (feat. Selección Colombia)” - Ryan Castro
During this summer’s Copa America, I picked up watching soccer, specifically for the Colombian national team (shoutout James Rodriguez and Richard Rios). “EL RITMO QUE NOS UNE” was the team’s unofficial song for the season, gaining media attention from fans making videos in support and recordings of the team listening to it in the locker room with Feid and featured artist Ryan Castro. Even after their devastating loss following a goal by Argentina in the 112th minute of the final, this song remains a bop.
Unfortunately, I realistically have little control over what songs end up on top of my 2024 Spotify Wrapped. I am excited to see what makes the cut and what spills over into 2025!
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Lost in translation: Entering the world of Murakami
In high school, my English teacher once explained that reading translated books meant intrinsically losing an essential part of the text. Contrary to popular belief, translated literature is not a mere word-by-word copy of the original text; it is the translator’s best interpretation of the author’s language reshaped into a new version for readers.
This sentiment hit hard as a die-hard lover of prose in all shapes and forms—especially when I decided to pick up Haruki Murakami’s novel “Norwegian Wood” this past summer.
Murakami is a popular Japanese novelist with dozens of books, earning global acclaim for his sensational writing and storytelling. His way with words has been a hallmark of his success, as its simplicity and frankness reveal insights about life and the human experience that explore philosophical questions of mortality, reason and existence. Even though most of his works deal with magical realism and adventurous plots, his voice continues to elevate a story and enrapture his audience fully. But instead of starting in the abstract depths of Murakami’s repertoire (although I do hope to venture there soon), I decided to begin with one of his more accessible novels, which has become a flagship of his work.
“Norwegian Wood” is a literary novel that follows the life of Toru Watanabe as he recounts his college years in the late 1960s. The book navigates the highs and lows of youth in Tokyo while discovering the power of love and grief, and the toll it takes on others. The comforting yet eerie tone is set as soon as you read the first sentence—making the reader feel hugged by a cold mist.
Murakami’s story is driven by its characters and their relationship with the people around them; as Toru, and subsequently the reader, meets each person, the plot and tone shift and the reader is overcome with a wave of adoration and isolation as they watch the various relationships ebb and flow.
As I embarked on my journey into this beautiful world, my English teacher’s sentiment slowly began to haunt me. An author’s writing styles consist of various building blocks that readers do not explicitly acknowledge, like syntax, cadence and diction, which profoundly impact our reading experience. When writers play with these foundations to their liking, they create a sense of writing that is unique to them. Still, this idea only applies within the context of a particular language’s parameters and rules for making a coherent text. So, how does one preserve the integrity of a foreign author’s unique writing style when they are transforming it into a world where certain words, sentence structures and cultural connotations are nonexistent?
Not to get too linguistic (as I will leave that to the professionals) but reading Murakami’s writing felt fraudulent. Perhaps it was my unfamiliarity with Murakami’s prose but it felt as if I was skipping an integral part of the story—like the heart and soul were missing and I was left with the husk. It felt wrong knowing that the novel was written with a different arrangement in Japanese compared to the translated English version that was now in my hands. Since an author’s writing style is a fundamental part of their work, it did not make sense to read a book that could not uphold that same structure when translated and inherently be deprived of its original meaning (to a degree). This idea affected my ability to truly sub-
merge myself in the novel as I was so hung up on every word or quote—is this exactly what it was written like in Japanese? Is this what Murakami truly meant? What’s the true translation of this? A wall was erected between myself and the book—which becomes the worst relationship a reader can have with a novel.
Questioning every choice made me feel like some of the characters were not as fleshed out as I thought they would be; the plot felt stale and undriven. I was so confused and overwhelmed that I needed to put the book down for a few days to give myself space.
During this time, I wondered what classics, such as Dostoyevsky’s “Crime and Punishment,” Coelho’s “The Alchemist” and Homer’s “Iliad” were truly like in their original languages. What could that reading experience be to a native speaker? To truly comprehend every word the author intended you to see and feel? Yet despite the translation barriers, I realized, these books still became prominent and read worldwide, used in high schools and universities to be studied and deciphered. So how come no one else felt this same way? Why is it that we continue to read books in other languages if we can never truly understand the author? What was the point of reading?
Despite my troubles fully connecting with the writing, Murakami’s characters left a lasting imprint on my mind; I needed to know what impacted Toru so deeply throughout the first chapter. So I dusted off “Norwegian Wood” and continued to read— pushing the thoughts of impostorism aside. Page after page, I slowly fell in love with the novel—reading past 3 a.m. for several consecutive nights as the action rolled through and I could gain the weight of each charac-
ter. Yet, my relationship with Murakami’s prose continued to be convoluted. Lines that I felt were crafted with intense thought and feelings—pinnacle points of Toru’s mind and Murakami’s themes—felt absent to me. But in a twisted way, I could still recognize its beauty even if I could not truly connect with it.
I emailed my English teacher and explained to her how I felt, partially blaming her for bestowing on me this philosophical insight that has come to torment me. She laughed and replied by explaining that as readers, we have to find it within ourselves to be innately okay with the fact that we might never truly understand a translated text as one would in its original language, but that does not take away the enjoyment and morals that we obtain from the book and prose. As a self-proclaimed existentialist, it seems hard to understand that concept, but after finishing “Norwegian Wood,” I realized I did enjoy the book, despite the hardships of connecting with it. So, even if I felt like the prose did not feel as ‘authentic’ as I think it could be, what is authenticity in translation? If translation is an imperfect craft, can there be a “true” translation? The matter is, we don’t know—at least in the context of literature. Reading the final sentence of “Norwegian Wood” made me realize how sad I was that I was finished but also how grateful I was that I could share this experience with Japanese readers and the hundreds of others who get to interact with Murakami’s craft from across the world.
Though I can never look at translated work the same, I know that the ability to feel and learn from the prose, morale and character, is truly what literature is all about. It is amazing that I can do this from halfway across the planet.
Professor Moon hosts book talk on recent publication
On Friday, Sept. 27, students, faculty and other members of the broader Vassar community gathered in the library’s Class of 1951 Reading Room to listen to Professor of Sociology Seungsook Moon’s talk about her latest book, “Civic Activism in South Korea: The Intertwining of Democracy and Neoliberalism.”
At 3 p.m., Chair of Sociology Light Carruyo introduced Moon and the impact of her scholarship, demonstrated by accomplishments including a Fulbright Scholar Award, endowed visiting professorship at Harvard University and various editorial positions on academic journals. She has published many articles as well as three books: “Militarized Modernity and Gendered Citizenship in South Korea” (2005) and “Over There: Living with the U.S. Military Empire from World War II to the Present” (2010), in addition to her latest. Her initial two books have been translated into Korean and were published by Duke University, Carruyo said; she also noted Moon’s enthusiasm for tango dance. Moon began her book talk by discussing the relevance of critically considering democracy in America today, given the consequential upcoming presidential election. Within the discussion of democracy and its varying interpretations, “Civic Activism in South Korea” adds a new perspective through its analysis of the relationship between democracy and neoliberalism in South Korean society. She continued by expanding on non-governmental organizations (NGOs), which are a major player in South Korean civic activism.
NGOs and a subset of NGOs called citizens’ organizations (in Korean: 시민운동 단체) emerged in the late 1980s to the mid 2000s and are central in the discussion of democracy and neoliberalism. Moon defines them by three moral codes, which act as a framework to both understand and reflect on activism: 1) political and financial independence from the state, 2) pursuing institutional and social change and 3) an emphasis on grassroots participation. The independence of citizens’ organizations is particularly important, as they are highly valued due to South Korea’s history with military regimes. If a citizens’ organization was to lose its political or financial autonomy, they would lose their moral authority and popular appeal—the cultivation of the organization’s image has a significant impact. Moon then explained her overarching re-
search question, “How do ordinary women and men in South Korea try to solve common problems they encounter in their daily lives?” and her sub-questions discussing the relationship, messy intermingling negotiation and simultaneous enabling and undermining between democracy and neoliberalism. She clarified that she approaches democracy and neoliberalism as modes of ruling as opposed to an entity or political system, resulting in questions like, “How are people ruled by the state?” and “How do they rule themselves in daily lives?” which question the external and internal aspects of governing.
To answer these questions, Moon introduces the dualism of democracy and neoliberalism in civic activism—they simultaneously expand on democracy through their protection and promotion of public resources, while
utilizing and being enabled by neoliberal governance to achieve their goals. She described civic activism as both political and symbolic action: activism is inherently political, but is also human, and thus symbolic in various ways to the people who interpret them. Though Moon aimed to focus her research on ordinary people and their experiences, she found that hierarchy had formed in even grassroots citizens’ organizations based on the political and cultural capital the individuals had. She also defined “혚치” or “collaborative ruling,” which was popularized in the mid 2010s. 혚치 describes a partnership among governance, business and civil society, which she describes as a symptom of neoliberalism. Rather than a traditional, top-down repressive expression of power, neoliberalism’s collaborative ruling results in a gentler, pastoral power to guide the conduct of the population. As scholarly discussions of neoliberalism have been focused on Western countries and the promotion of American democracy as a primary mode of democracy, Moon’s book expands on this debate through its discussion of democracy in South Korea and its contestation of the American definition of democracy. Moon concluded her talk by discussing the US Federal Reserve lowering interest rates a few weeks ago, which has influence both domestically through the prominent use of loans in this neoliberal economy and internationally, as other countries may be influenced by the US’s financial decisions. After opening the discussion up for questions and comments, guests of the book talk had the opportunity to purchase a signed copy of “Civic Activism in South Korea,” mingle and eat the delicious catered food.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Sayan Naik Guest columnist
Angela Moon Guest Columnist
Image courtesy of Angela Moon ’27.
For whom the bell tolls: Understanding a senior tradition
el festivities. Further adding to my utter perplexity was the addition of the Salve Song to my already long list of oddities and rituals associated with this event. An April 1947 issue of the Vassar Chronicle adds yet another description of Salve Night to the fray: “Basically Salve Night is the occasion on which the Seniors hand down the Salve Song to their successors. The old tradition featured this transfer of the Salve Song and also the surrender of the Rocky steps where Seniors sat to be serenaded by their sister class, the Sophomores.” Yes, you read that right; this sounds a lot like an early version of Vassar’s famous Serenading tradition!
So far, we have a gavel transfer ceremony, the singing of the Salve Song and copious amounts of beer…where does the bell come in? In an article written for a May 1945 issue of the Vassar Chronicle, one student expresses confusion regarding the Main Building bell. “If some visiting fire -
man should ask you what it’s for, you could say with perfect calm that you have no idea why the bell is on top of Main, because neither does anyone else,” she noted. In fact, the bell is missing from all early photos of Vassar, and there is no record of one having ever been added to the building. From this uncertainty surrounding the bell’s origins came my own confusion about the birth of senior bell ringing. I can presume that the tradition did not begin until after 1945, based on the lack of mention in this student’s writing. Indeed, this student mentions several uses the bell shouldered over the years (come the end of the Spanish-American War in 1898, several Vassar girls broke into the tower to ring the bell), yet none include our beloved senior tradition.
Yet at some point, the bell did appear, and we began to send its chime across campus as seniors. While no one knows how long the original bell sat in its tower, we do know
it was replaced by the Class of 2007 as their senior gift after a large chunk broke off from its side. Nevertheless, you may have noticed the old bell remains on display, sitting outside of the North entrance to Main for students to enjoy.
However the bell and its tradition came to be, students today readily await their moment to sound its toll across campus come senior fall. For three days in September, one by one we clamber up the treacherous stairs of the bell tower, signing our names on the hallowed wooden walls that bear the autographs of Vassar students past and inevitably bumping our heads as we climb through the narrow door. A few swings of the bell, some merry cheers and whoops, and our descent into seniordom begins.
So, why does Salve Night no longer exist in its entirety? When did seniors begin the practice of ringing the bell? Has the comprehensive meaning of this tradition been lost with the histories of Vassar students
past? The answers to these questions eluded me, so I turned to my fellow students to gain clarity. Whether you rang the bell with the weight of age and responsibility resting upon your shoulders or just for some good fun among friends, the true meaning of the tradition does not appear lost among our seniors. Emma Tiedemann ’25 reflected on her time in the bell tower last week. “It was a rare feeling of unity in experience with other students and students past, a blatant reminder that despite how different our worlds within this community can look like, we are ultimately heading to the end together,” she said. “To do this with friends I love dearly and have grown up alongside in these years here is a feeling I will never forget.” And so, while the story of Salve Night and ringing bells may have faded into Vassar’s history, the essence of our tradition— one of community, connection and shared experience—remains very much alive in our hearts.
The Miscellany News.
Emma Adams/The Miscellany News.
Continued from SENIOR on page 1
From the desk of Josie Wenner, Assistant Humor Editor
Humor section to stage hostile takeover of The Miscellany News; violent coup already underway Breaking News
Ranking the top five professors at Vassar
Imagine this, you’re a first year student and you’re thinking: I got some decent professors right now, but who are the really good ones? You can always ask around your fellow students or spend an hour on ratemyprofessor.com, but no one’s gonna be as comprehensive as this list, so don’t even try. Just read below.
5. Professor Cone
I took an intro film production course with Professor Cone, and on the first day of class, she handed everybody a camera and said, “Make your movie!” and everybody ended up breaking their camera by week three. No one completed their movie.
I was trying to remake “The Godfather” but with a slightly different ending where Michael’s like, “Eh, this isn’t for me. I’m gonna become a dentist,” but I unfortunately got my lens a little too close to a dental drill on one of the shoot days.
My friend Marcus, who was in the class, told me he actually filmed “a really epic film about like, redemption and stuff,” but his dog ate his movie, so he couldn’t finish it! Professor Cone was so disappointed in all of us that she just ended up showing movies for the remaining ten weeks of class. I got to watch “The Lego Movie” three times!
4. Professor Ranspreebus
I took “Intro to American Politics” with him, and we did a mock government where I was elected as class president. Which would have been great if Professor Ranspreebus hadn’t unanimously elected himself Puppetmaster Dictator.
Politics is really hard. I attempted to repeal
the electoral college, passing the amendment in both houses with supermajorities, but then the Puppet Master Dictator Professor Ranspreebus struck it down, yelling to no one in particular, “I AM THE SUPREME RULER APPOINTED BY GOD HIMSELF AND I WILL SMITE ANYONE WHO ATTEMPTS TO REPEAL THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE AGAIN.”
Welp. Sometimes all you can do in politics is throw your hands up and sigh. While he was an excellent Puppet Master Dictator, Professor Ranspreebus was also a great teacher.
He taught me a lot about politics, like that you can only filibuster in the Senate and that if you use ZYN, it means you’re a conservative.
3. Professor Moolah
I took Professor Moolah’s Intro econ class my first year and it was unforgettable.
On the first day of class, he said to us, “You see this paperclip, here? I traded it, and then traded some more stuff, and then I bought a superyacht at age 12. That’s economics.” Everybody started weeping as we all collectively realized that that was economics.
One time, I went to Professor Moolah’s office hours because I was really confused about the nature of supplies and command, and as I was explaining my question, he interrupted and said, “Sell me this pen,” pointing down at a standard blue bic cristal Xtra Smooth Ballpoint pen on his desk.
For ninety minutes, I attempted to sell him the pen in a complex game of pen-selling chess, but he wouldn’t budge. Eventually I just had to keep the blue bic cristal Xtra Smooth Ballpoint pen. Professor Moolah then attempted to trade me a paperclip for the pen, but I decided to cut my losses there
and keep it. I learned a lot from that meeting: Nothing about surprise and demands (or how to sell a pen, really) but it didn’t matter. That’s just economics.
2. Professor Frizzler
I took anatomy with her and Professor Frizzler is a legend. In week 3, she seemed to think she wasn’t getting through to us about the nervous system, so one day out of nowhere she was like, “We’re gonna take a field trip, gang!” So, we went into the parking lot to a shuttle bus that she had procured somehow.
We all piled in, and on that particular day, one of the students in the class, Arnaldo, was absent because he was sick and Professor Frizzler was like, “You know Arnaldo? We’re gonna go up his nose.” Suddenly, the bus shrank down to the size of an ant and deployed wings. Over the river and through an open Noyes window, into Arnaldo’s nose we went. From there it was upwards to the Hippocampus. Boy, was that pineal gland baller! Anyways, we all agreed to tell Arnaldo that we went to the box factory that day and not up his nose in the case that he’d ask, but Arnaldo was out for most of the rest of the semester with headaches so it didn’t matter. You might think we were kinda mean to Arnaldo, going up his nose and whatever, but I heard Professor Frizzler had an astronomy class with Arnaldo, and when they were visiting the planet Pluto, he foolishly took off his helmet and almost died. She’s resented him ever since.
1. Professor Axoleff
I took “Intro to Music Theory” with Professor Axoleff and I was really excited because I wanted to learn how to play the piano but he wanted us all to learn music theory on a
plastic recorder instead, explaining that he didn’t know what a piano was.
Learning the recorder was fine. One time during a group recorder session though, Professor Axoleff was getting really frustrated with my playing, so he threw a tambourine at me. I ducked to avoid it, and then we had this exchange:
“Do you know why I threw that tambourine at your head?”
“‘Cause I suck at recorder.”
“Yes.”
That was a much-needed wake-up call for me. Later in the semester, when we started to get better at recorder, he softened up and kept asking people to join his free jazz ensemble, an offer no one ever took him up on. It was like the film, “School of Rock” but instead of forming a rock band, he wanted us to perform loosely 20-minute improvisations on the recorder with him.
One night, a couple guys from the class and I drove to Rhinebeck to see his free jazz ensemble. He was really bad, but it taught me that part of music is just putting yourself out there, and that some people are better teachers than doers. I’m not saying this was a great class, but Professor Axoleff helped me pretty much master the recorder, which gave me something to put in the Skills section of my LinkedIn.
CONCLUSIONATORY SECTION
While this is a pretty damn good list, you have to figure out for yourself what kind of professors you like, which means taking a lot of different classes with a lot of different professors. Whether you’re learning recorder, getting overruled by the puppet master dictator or breaking expensive camera equipment, you never know what kind of class you’re really taking until you take it.
Nicholas Tillinghast Top Five Student
Now that fall is here, I can think of no better dish to welcome the cooler weather than an old-fashioned chicken pot pie. Made, of course, from scratch.
An ode to the Nircle: A poetry collection
still
The Nircle absorbed what came from the
spill
Limerick #1
There once was a field called the Nircle
Although others would call it Noyes Circle
A place most sublime
No matter the time
Which Franklin House once encircled
An Incident
I came downstairs to meet my friend Maria
Oh, how happy I was to see-ha!
We skipped out the door, arm in arm
Grateful not to hear another fire alarm!
We made our way across the grass
Laughing and chatting and talking of class
Along came a friend, coffee in hand
We strode to her, across the land
Maria grabbed the coffee, and took a large swig
The drink was delicious, and she smiled so big
Then suddenly, her bag fell off her shoulder
I watched as it slid, mouth agape in horror
Her bag fell down her arm, and it was so heavy
It knocked her off-balance, she was not steady
Her cup of coffee lept from her grasp
She was startled, shocked, she let out a gasp
The coffee flew and soared through the air
Maria and I could do nothing but stare
Her whole coffee drink soaked into the ground
Only the empty plastic cup could be found
The spot where it fell smells a bit like coffee
So if you ever taste some grass coffee-rich
The person to thank is Maria Spill-ovanovic.
Limerick #2
The Nircle, a place for joy
Full of joyous girls and boys
Come Halloween season
With no rhyme or reason
A large swath of grass is destroyed
NIRCLE
place is better to sit
Incredible Nircle, none compare to it
Relax in the grass, have fun in the sun
Clear your mind, lie down, your woes are done
Look at the grass, the hammocks, the trees
Enjoy the view, but don’t get stung by the bees!
Limerick #3
There once was an ant named Kate
Who was longing to find a mate
To the Nircle she came
Looking for her flame
But was struck by the sights, so great!
NNOOYYEESS
Limerick #4
There once was a bee named Frank
He rode to the Nircle on a tank
A field of delight
Awash in sunlight
In the center, a cute ant, Frank gave thanks!
A Bright and Sunny Day
I step out of the doors of Noyes
And stop to contemplate the joys
The Nircle never fails to raise my spirits
I’ll shout its praise so all can hear it
A sea of green awaits my eyes
Pairing lovely with the blue of the skies
Each blade of grass, each little clover
Makes a stunning display that my gaze sweeps over
People are out enjoying the day
I can see them skipping and shouting “hooray!”
The Nircle is a place that makes everyone happy
It even makes me get a bit sappy
I step upon the field, and fall to my knees
I run my hands across the earth, full of glee
This wonderful space always makes me smile
Any time spent here is time worthwhile
Limerick #5
“Hello to you!” said Frank the bee Smiley and happy as a bee could be Kate the ant turned
Her stomach churned
She swooned, and nearly fell to her knees
ME!
Josie loves the Nircle, without a doubt
Often you’ll find her there, lounging about
She loves to frolic and sit at the picnic tables
In fact, she’d be there all day, if she was able
Entropy is constant, but the Nircle is stable
Limerick #6
“Come here often?” asked Kate the ant
“Often enough, I’m a big fan of plants
But also because—”
And here he buzzed
“—here a house named for me used to stand!”
A Parting Haiku
I love the Nircle
(In case you couldn’t tell). It’s Just an awesome place.
Josie Wenner Edgar Allen Poet
First, I’ll start with the chicken.
No, the egg.
No, the chicken...
No, the egg...
Image courtesy of Morgan Miller ’25.
Letter to the Editor: Professors reiterate support for lawsuit
To the Vassar Community:
We, the undersigned faculty members and professors emeritae/i, have all attached our names to letters in the past strongly supporting our female full professor colleagues in their class-action lawsuit against the College due to long-standing, gender-based discrimination in salary. With District Judge Cathy Seibel’s recent denial of Vassar’s motion to dismiss and in line with the College’s commitment to equity and an “environment in which all members… are valued and empowered to thrive,” we vigorously renew our call upon President Bradley and the Vassar College Board of Trustees to settle the case amicably and promptly, providing fair compensation to remedy the gender-based financial inequities that have accrued over time as well as full remuneration for expenses connected with pursuing the lawsuit. Furthermore, we urge the administration to work closely and collaboratively with the faculty in examining our system of review in order to identify and rectify the structural factors that led to the pay gap.
Signed,
Mark C. Amodio
Professor of English
Sole Anatrone
Assistant Professor of Italian
Tobias Armborst, Professor of Art
Michael Aronna, Professor of Hispanic Studies
Leah Isseroff Bendavid, Associate Professor of Chemistry
Chris Bjork, Professor of Education
Simona Bondavalli, Associate Professor of Italian
Andy Borum, Assistant Professor of Mathematics and Statistics
Veronica Brownstone, Visiting Assistant Professor of Hispanic Studies
Kariane Calta, Associate Professor of Mathematics
Amy Chin, Assistant Professor of American Studies and Asian Studies
Randolph R. Cornelius, Professor Emeritus of Psychological Science
Hiromi Dollase, Associate Professor of Japanese
David Esteban, Associate Professor of Biology
Megan Gall, Associate Professor of Biology
Alberto Gelmi, Assistant Professor of Italian
Katie Gemmill, Assistant Professor of English
Brian Godfrey, Professor of Geography
Hannah Gommerstadt, Assistant Professor of Computer Science
Gordon Hall, Assistant Professor of Art
Sophia Siddique Harvey, Associate Professor of Film
Monika Hu, Associate Professor of Statistics
Myra Hughey, Assistant Professor of Biology
Luke Hunsberger, Professor of Computer Science
Trevor Hyde, Assistant Professor of Mathematics and Statistics
Alison Keimowitz, Associate Professor of Chemistry
Jennifer Kennell, Associate Professor of Biology
Elizabeth Lastra, Assistant Professor of Art
John Long, Professor of Biology and Cognitive Science
Benjamin Lotto, Professor of Mathematics and Statistics
Adam Lowrance, Associate Professor of Mathematics
Montserrat Madariaga-Caro, Assistant Professor of Hispanic Studies
John McCleary, Professor Emeritus of Mathematics and Statistics
Taneisha Means, Associate Professor of Political Science
Daniel Mendiola, Assistant Professor of History
James Merrell, Professor Emeritus of History
Leonard Nevarez, Professor of Sociology
Joseph Nevins, Professor of Geography
Tracy O’Neill, Assistant Professor of English
Barbara Olsen, Associate Professor of Greek and Roman Studies
Sam Opondo, Associate Professor of Political Science and Africana Studies
Justin Patch, Associate Professor of Music
José Perillán, Associate Professor of Physics and STS
Sidney Plotkin, Professor of Political Science
Michaela Pohl, Associate Professor of History
Allison Puglisi, Assistant Professor of History
Z. Serena Qiu, Adjunct Assistant Pro-
fessor of Art
Shivani Radhakrishnan, Assistant Professor of Philosophy
Ismail Rashid, Professor of History
Christopher Raymond, Associate Professor of Philosophy
Eréndira Rueda, Associate Professor of Sociology
Jodi Schwarz, Associate Professor of Biology
Jeff Seidman, Assoc. Professor of Philosophy
Blevin Shelnutt, Assistant Professor of English
Payton Small, Assistant Professor of Psychological Sciences
Marc Smith, Professor of Computer Science
Erica Stein, Associate Professor of Film
Charles Steinhorn, Professor Emeritus of Mathematics and Statistics
Candice Lowe Swift, Associate Professor of Anthropology
Catherine Tan, Assistant Professor of Sociology
David Tavárez, Professor of Anthropology
Justin Touchon, Associate Professor of Biology
Bryan W. Van Norden, Professor of Philosophy
Nicolas Vivalda, Associate Professor of Hispanic Studies
Kirsten Wesselhoeft, Associate Professor of Religion
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Aiding in the uncovering of Gracepoint Ministries
Peter Chu Guest Columnist
Born into a branch of a religious cult, now known under the guise of Gracepoint Ministries/Acts2 Network, there lingers sometimes a sense of otherness that I can not seem to outpace. Despite this, I have learned that wallowing in self-pity for any situation you are in is a disservice not only to yourself, but to the people who care about you. Allow honest emotions into your life, but you wake up and play the hand you were dealt.
Gracepoint Ministries—to put it succinctly; theft in the name of religion, labor exploitation, spiritual psychosis and a side of religious abuse, please?
While growing up, I took in the steady journey of marginalized characters in books and movies to provide myself with a sense of comfort. Unbeknownst to me, I was finding solace as a child by escaping the abuse of my present life and eagerly immersing myself into what might one day look like my own journey of freedom. Unknown not just because of a relatable pining for freedom between myself and these characters, but because of the fact that I was not yet aware of the situation I was in. Due to the healing effect art has had on me, I am a proponent of the idea
that art has the power to restore. If you find yourself trapped in a dynamic that is in any way harmful, you have the right to fight for yourself. If there are measures working against you, be resourceful, trust in your trust in the people around you. Ask for help. Because I know I did not get here alone, I can attest to the fact that your future self will thank you.
The processing of my relating to marginalized characters has led to my understanding that nearly any struggle against oppression can be viewed under the same umbrella. However, these are not new ideas; Kimberlé Crenshaw’s conception of intersectionality in 1989 delineated this idea incredibly well for me when I was beginning to understand this in my high school English classes. The struggle against oppression should be unifying in nature for marginalized communities, not divisive. A branch of struggle will oftentimes require our pressing attention, but no struggle is any more important than another. They are connected.
While dissent against institutionalized and structural inequality can feel daunting, being part of a system means you have a responsibility, as well as the power, to actively change it. When you bring your full identity to the table by advocating for your rights, you make a step for every as-
pect of yourself—a small step, albeit, but a step regardless. Our constructed notions of individuality, stoked on by everything constantly demanding our attention and the money in our pockets, hinder efforts towards the very real collective health of the interconnected communities we find ourselves part of.
Using passive aggressive intimidation in the classroom, or anywhere for that matter, is an unfortunate barrier to fostering the honest and productive exchange of ideas and identities. I have always been appreciative of my professors who allow for there to be no wrong answers—when possible, of course (shoutout to all my STEM majors, we still love you). To the faculty and administration, there is already a strong-held belief in your intelligence, competence and accomplishments—have the courage to believe in your students. Add your wisdom and support to the ideas of the people that have no choice but to run with the baton that you have molded.
The narrow-mindedness I sometimes find in my class experiences at Vassar leaves me to question if people stifle their real and valid opinions in order to fit in or to placate their professors. To the half hand raisers, I am always interested in what you have to say, even if it might diverge from what everyone else thinks. The shift from
hegemonic modes of thinking to conscious critical thought is innately democratizing. It works towards picking apart the authoritarianism that has recently and frighteningly permeated American politics. The gradual process of deconstructing my own warped worldview has left me forever grateful to the abilities of public education. It has also left me a firm believer in the power of it. So long as it is equipped with the right tools and funding.
Moreover, while taking political theory classes at Vassar has been immensely beneficial to my understanding of the world around me, I can simultaneously recognize that politics does not always need to be shrouded in complexity. Safety and freedom do not need to be mutually exclusive. Children of all creeds and classes should be entitled to the same quality of education. Housing as a human right needs to be transformed from theory into practice. Anything that demands your utter devotion should be approached with caution; the beauty of the human condition lies in the fact that we can reflect on our personal experiences and subsequently choose what we want to believe in. The combined benefit of our collective critical thinking over time is probably not quantifiable, but I think one day we will find that it is real. Here’s to together.
What is our obsession with fall media?
calls back earlier times and sorely missed moments.
Now that summer is officially over, I am busting out the fall media.
I am talking, of course, about the art we consume over and over again in the autumn season: “Knives Out,” “Dead Poets Society,” “Over The Garden Wall,” “Fantastic Mr. Fox,” etc. If you are unfamiliar with this niche, I encourage you to have the Pinterest enthusiasts in your life show you; it will make their day, and at Vassar, finding someone with a fall-based Pinterest board is not particularly difficult.
As anyone who has lived here for any amount of time knows, East Coast autumn is no joke—does it reflect poorly on me if I admit that the prospect of living here in the fall was part of what drew me to Vassar? A thousand different writers, from William Shakespeare to Donna Tartt to Simon and Garfunkel, have tackled the subject of autumn at some point and in some way. We seem to be in a centuries-old love affair with autumn-inspired art, and if we look at the expansive history of literature and film in particular, we seem to be in no hurry to stop.
The aesthetics and qualities of fall media, while variable, seem to occupy a specific niche in our cultural consciousness. Fall itself is both a striking sensory experience and a time of special peace–of warm colors and crunching leaves and simultaneously the quieting of nature itself, the simplification and drowsiness of a world preparing for winter. Fall media captures this feeling and reflects this reality, using a highly specific color palette, pace and range of imagery. These works tend to place an emphasis on situating and immersing the audience in the season, particularly visually. There exists a lightness and a darkness, a cozy yet haunted quality that invites you in, promising something tranquil yet thrilling. This is a mini-genre colored by a permanent nostalgia—even if you have never seen “Good Will Hunting,” its ambiance
There is a spooky feeling that could be attributed in part to the influence of Halloween, but personally, I think it deserves only a small slice of the credit. The Halloween movie is solidly its own category (categories, if you count Halloween horror as separate from more kitschy media like “Beetlejuice,” which I do). There are certainly gray areas and overlaps here, as with anything, but engaging with Halloween media is more of a way to celebrate a holiday rather than participate in the world of a season, in the way one does with fall media. Fall media can often be unsettling, but it usually doesn’t shatter the audience’s immersion in a delicately constructed fall vibe.
It seems natural that young people would associate fall with new academic horizons.
Maybe we are drawn to fall media because of its often romantic portrayal of learning— visions of a Rory Gilmore-esque figure clad in cable knit, scribbling in a leather-bound notebook. In many ways, it is much easier to accept that summer is over and the time for locking in is nigh if you are consuming media wherein well-dressed students pour obsessively over old books in an idyllic library (at Vassar, this dark academia fantasy bleeds into reality. Everyone say “thank you, Main Library”). Fall media is rarely created specifically to be part of this niche, arising out of a logical setting choice more than anything. Donna Tartt’s “The Secret History” and the early “Harry Potter” books both in some ways possess this fall ethos largely because they take place in a school setting, as they logically must. Educators and benevolent guides seem to be a common figure of fall media—to reference Dr. Doofenshmirtz, if I had a nickel for every time Robin Williams played an inspiring yet complicated teacher in a gut-wrenching fall movie, I would have two nickels. Which is not a lot, but it is weird that it happened twice.
Fall media allows us to fully immerse ourselves and dwell for a moment in a pure,
distilled essence of fall, a moment that is removed from the minutiae of reality. This is, of course, the case with any visually compelling artform; entering into a beautiful and self-contained universe free of the little inconveniences and troubles of life is what makes it attractive in the first place. So, maybe there is nothing special about fall media. After all, we have been artistically concerned with the aesthetics of winter, spring and summer throughout the span of human art history just as much as we have with fall. The reason fall feels different (for me, at least) is because of its uniqueness, practically and emotionally. There are places all over the world that are in perpetual states of winter and summer. There are so many different kinds of winter and summer that it proves more challenging to confine them to a hyper-specific visual aesthetic. Fall exists in fewer places and for a much shorter period of time, so that its aesthetic niche and aura of mysticism are preserved more distinctly. Fall
always feels like it is slow to come and fast to say goodbye—half the season we are complaining about excess heat, and the other half feels like the fun is already over. Fall is a weird time, especially when you are young. It is a beauty like no other, and yet it is an ending. It is letting go of the freedom and wildness of the summer and settling into sweaters and routines. It is accepting that winter is knocking at the door and choosing to enjoy the present moment anyway. Humans are obsessed with the impermanent and the concluding. At some point or another, people confront that they will die one day, along with much of what they hold dear. Maybe fall media is a frame through which to think about beautiful transience. Maybe it is a controlled catharsis of our complicated feelings during this time of year. Fall media is grounded in reality, but it is grounded in a moment of reality that itself feels unreal and magical. Even as adults, we never truly stop wanting to disappear into other worlds.
Aurelia Harrison Guest Columnist
Image courtesy of Annie McShane ’28.
Knigge ’18 experiences Paris Olympics
Volleyball Nations League (VNL), an annual summer tournament where international programs compete for a VNL championship and world ranking points.
With the Paris Olympics only a few months away, Knigge and the rest of the less experienced players were given the opportunity to play in Week 1 of VNL in Antalya, Turkey against some of the best teams in the world while the Olympic roster trained in Southern California.
“I had a personal awakening in terms of my volleyball career, and played probably the best volleyball in my life in terms of serving, attacking and also blocking, like the stars align[ing],” Knigge told The Miscellany News “Just all of a sudden I’m playing a level of volleyball I never really even knew I had.”
Though he had excelled in Antalya, Knigge said he did not anticipate any sort of promotion from the secondary squad and was looking forward to what he thought was going to be a week off. But when Knigge landed in Los Angeles and turned on his U.S. SIM card, he had a message waiting for him: an
invitation to practice with the recently selected Olympians.
Instead of on his anticipated vacation, Knigge was practicing with the Olympic team less than 24 hours after he landed in LA. That same day, Knigge was told he would be traveling with the team to VNL Week 2 in Ottawa. His role was to help the team practice, to be a completely rested force when they needed to simulate match-like competition. Once again, he rose to a daunting task.
“I was serving probably the best I’d ever served in life,” Knigge said. “I was probably the number one server in the men’s gym that summer. It was an out of body experience where just everything I was doing was working. It was unreal.”
Knigge got to dress for one match in Ottawa but did not see the court. He headed home, satisfied with his two weeks of VNL.
An Olympic Opportunity
A few weeks of training with the secondary squad passed. Then one morning, while he was brushing his teeth, Knigge received a call that would ultimately bring him closer
to the Olympics than any Vassar athlete had ever been.
“It’s unusual to get a call,” Knigge said. “I stop brushing my teeth and pick up the phone, and [the coach] sounds frantic. He’s like, ‘How quickly can you get into the gym?’”
“I live like 15-20 minutes away from the gym. And I say, ‘10 minutes. Why? What’s up?’”
“[The coach] says, ‘We have two middles down. Get down here as soon as you can.’”
“Instantly, my heart rate goes from 50 beats a minute to 100 beats a minute,” Knigge said. “I spit out the toothpaste, like in a movie.”
Knigge scrambled, and about half an hour later, he got to the gym.
“I run into the gym, court shoes in hand, and there’s the Olympic 12, minus the two hurt guys, standing around, essentially waiting for me so that they can resume practice,” Knigge said.
Without any warm-up, Knigge jumped into practice. Once again, he reached new heights.
“I quite literally had the best training I’ve ever had in my life,” Knigge said of what
he described as an unparalleled adrenaline rush. “[I’m] jumping the highest I’ve ever jumped, hitting the ball the hardest I’ve ever hit. Every shot I was hitting was working.” With one of the Olympic middle blockers still nursing an injury, Knigge was told at the end of that week that his summer would have at least one more trip: pre-Olympics prep in Poland. Once it was time for the team to leave for Paris, Knigge would head back stateside. That was the plan until Knigge was approached on the bus during the Olympic squad’s last day in Poland by the team’s head coach, John Speraw.
“[Speraw] comes up to me, stops, pulls his AirPods out, and in the most nonchalant tone, looks at me and says, ‘We’ve decided we’re goin to take you to Paris.’”
Speraw might have been nonchalant, but four-time Olympian Matt Anderson and three-time Olympian Micah Christenson, who were seated near Knigge, were not.
“They’ve both got the biggest grins on their face,” Knigge said. “The look on my face, I’m sure, said it all. In the last five days, let alone the entire summer, I couldn’t have projected any of this coming true.”
Ultimately, three-time Olympian David Smith was cleared to play ahead of the Olympics’ opening match, and Knigge was never activated to the 12-man roster.
Getting so close to being an Olympian and part of a medal-winning team is unbelievable, bittersweet and motivating all at the same time, Knigge said.
“To look back on the last year and quite honestly, the last eight years of volleyball I’ve had, to consider the fact that I would even be in the running, or to still be at the Olympics with the US Men’s National Team is an incredible opportunity,” Knigge said. “I’ve already beaten the odds.”
Still, Knigge’s goal is unabashedly clear: to be a 2028 LA Olympian. And with three of the four middle blockers who were Paris Olympians likely retiring, it is certainly a feasible goal to set.
“You have to set a high bar for yourself,” Knigge said of his mindset. “It’s like in pole vault. If you always just keep clearing the bar, you’ll never realistically know what your max is. So you just have to keep raising the bar, and you can’t be scared to sometimes set the bar too high and see if you fail.”
“And so, until you fail, who knows where the limit is?”
Knigge is certainly still searching for his.
Northeast WNBA teams compete for championship
nals where the Aces, under head coach Becky Hammon, beat Sandy Brondello’s Liberty 3-1.
The semifinals of the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) playoffs began on Sunday, Sept. 29, as the league caps off a legendary, record-breaking season. Two nearby teams, the New York Liberty and the Connecticut Sun, are competing for a spot in this year’s finals.
Eight teams had advanced to the playoffs from 12 nationwide. The first round of the tournament’s format was a best of three series. Every team that moved forward was expected to do so, with the four higher seeded teams all besting their opponents 2-0. The semifinals and finals will be a best of five matchup.
Within a three-hour drive from Poughkeepsie, the Sun and Liberty advanced to the second round with ease. They will face the Minnesota Lynx and Las Vegas Aces, respectively.
The matchup between the Liberty and the Aces is a rematch from last year’s WNBA fi-
The Liberty are looking for revenge in 2024, and they seem poised to get it, having beaten the Aces in all of their regular season matchups while dominating the league’s standings. Their regular season record was 32-8.
The Liberty, however, are going up against their own history. They are the only original WNBA franchise to have never won a WNBA championship, having lost five times in the finals in 1997, 1999, 2000, 2002 and 2023.
However, the team appeared ready to work in their two first-round games against the Atlanta Dream, both played at home in Brooklyn at Barclays Center. Courtney Vandersloot, a point guard and 2021 WNBA champion with the Chicago Sky, was swapped out of the starting lineup with Leonie Fiebich who dominated with 21 points, the most ever for a Liberty player’s playoff debut. The switch has proved successful and is likely here to stay deeper into their playoff run.
Rounding out a sensational starting five
were Jonquel Jones, Betnijah Laney-Hamilton and Breanna Stewart— and Sabrina Ionescu with a career playoff high of 36 points in the Liberty’s second win over the Dream.
The Nevada Aces are headed by the formidable A’ja Wilson, this season’s (Most Valuable Players) MVP and last year’s finals MVP. Keeping the 6 feet 4 inches center at bay will be key for Liberty’s success. I would bet on a sea of seafoam taking New York, and their beloved mascot Ellie the Elephant, to the final. Ellie deserves a championship ring this fall.
While the Lynx seem to be on track to take down the Sun, our next-door neighbors could very well seal their spot in the final two. With two great defenses, the matchup could be the biggest nail-biter of the tournament.
For the good of the eastern seaboard, and Sun’s Alyssa Thomas, I hope Stephanie White’s team comes out on top over Cheryl Reeve’s Lynx.
White returned to the WNBA after coaching at Vanderbilt at the start of the 2023 season. Her crew’s playoff run consists of two
dominant wins over the Indiana Fever, the team of breakout star and Rookie of the Year Caitlin Clark. White coached the Fever to their last playoff appearance in 2016.
The game made headlines over racist remarks reported from the crowd. Players and coaches from around the league have condemned the abuse and recent uptick in online harassment experienced by players. The WNBA is growing, but that growth should never translate to threats to players’ safety.
Whichever of the final four make it to the end, the final series begins on Thursday, Oct. 10, ending a season that began in May.
With the U.S. Women’s National Team winning their eighth straight gold medal over France at the Paris Olympics in August (the most dominant winning streak across Olympic team sports), and the South Carolina Gamecocks win over the Iowa Hawkeyes in April, drawing in nearly nineteen million viewers, this year in basketball will be hard to forget. The end of this tournament looks to continue the momentum 2024 has built.
Luke Jenkins
Assistant Features Editor
Image courtesy of Vassar Men’s Volleyball via Instagram.
Rating struggling NFL quarterbacks
Doherty Guest Columnist
Are we back? Are we goated? Is it over? Are we washed? We are constantly asking ourselves these questions; it’s the human condition. But it is also the NFL condition, especially in an era where quarterbacks (QBs) are being paid more than ever and expected to do more than ever. But when eight to 10 quarterbacks are being paid elite money, it is inevitable that a few of them disappoint. We are now three weeks into the 2024 NFL season, and quarterback play has been by and large disappointing. But how is a fan to know which signal-callers are just having a slow start and who truly should be traded to the Toronto Argonauts for a bag of chips? The Washed-o-Meter (WoM) is a proprietary, entirely objective one to 10 rating system designed to deliver accurate assessments of a QB’s bustedness in one paragraph or less. A ‘one’ implies that the QB is not at all washed, and a ‘10’ means they are the sock perpetually stuck spinning in the Jewett basement laundry. Each rating also comes with a recommendation for the front office because I am confident they are hanging onto every word.
The WoM resides entirely in the writer’s mind, but the writer assures the audience that it is sound. This week, I have chosen six QBs to run through the Washed-o-Meter, chosen both because I think they are interesting cases and because I think they will incite controversy. My goal, as always, is to make you mad.
Deshaun Watson, Cleveland Browns: Watson is sort of the control signal of the Washed-o-Meter because we all know he should be out of the league by now. Watson has a regular season QB rating of 71.4 this year, a rating largely anchored by his terrible performance against Dallas in Week 1 but broadly representative of a general decline in his play that has continued since he arrived in Cleveland. When discussing Watson’s play, sports writers often refer obliquely to his “offthe-field problems,” which is a nice euphemism for the raft of sexual assault claims that Watson has variously settled and denied. To me, such “problems” are front and center as to why he has failed with the Browns. He has destroyed what little existed of Cleveland’s culture, he has lost them many more games than he has won and he has destroyed their cap space, the limit to how much a team can spend on players annually. Cleveland’s front office has been instrumental in creating this destruction—it takes two to tango—but they
would do well to end the experiment and begin the process of rebuilding their team,and their goodwill,bit by bit. Meter Rating: 10/10. Recommendation: Send him straight to hell—I am sure the devil will give up a firstround draft pick.
Joe Burrow, Cincinnati Bengals: The Bengals have entered their “retooling phase,” an optimistic term that, in reality, means “slowly getting worse until you are a perennial seven-to-nine wins, first-round-exit franchise.” The Bengals have “retooled” quite effectively, becoming a perfectly mid team at 9-8 in 2023. They don’t seem to be planning to change anything in 2024, starting with three losses and more proof, especially after their Monday Night Football bout with the Washington Commanders, that even when Burrow plays well, he does not play winning football. A large portion of the Bengal’s troubles is undoubtedly Burrow’s very large contract, which has required the team to let go of key players to get under the cap. It is the story of every team with a franchise quarterback, but this backslide can be mitigated by outstanding quarterback play. The trouble is that Burrow has not been an outstanding quarterback. His college career and previous seasons of good play, coupled with the low expectations that Cincinnati developed for themselves over the last 30 years, have disguised more than a season of bad play and inconsistent appearances. Burrow’s defenders will argue that his subpar play is due to injury; I say that part of a QB’s job is to avoid season-ending sacks. They will also say that Burrow “starts slow;” I say that this is not baseball, and in the NFL, you can’t slack off for four games without significantly reducing your team’s chances of making the playoffs. There is no doubt that Burrow was, during a few of his early years in the league, a competent and elevating quarterback. But that was on a rookie payscale, and now that Joe Burrow has been paid, he has not been performing.
The Bengals are in a strange position right now because although they have signed Burrow to a gigantic five-year deal, and it does not look like it’s working out for them, there is still a lot of positive energy around Joe Brrr and trading him would be unprecedented. But the facts are that Burrow is no longer that guy, and the Bengals would do well to move on. Meter Rating: 7/10. Recommendation: Use Burrow’s residual goodwill to extract two firsts from a desperate team.
Trevor Lawrence, Jacksonville Jaguars: Much has been made of the massive
QB contract extensions signed this past offseason. I, for one, think the practice amounts to general management malpractice, and I am not in love with any of the major contracts signed this past offseason (besides Baker Mayfield’s). However, I also understand what is going on here. These bad contracts are signed because franchises believe these guys have potential. Often, this potential is stymied, usually by injury but also by bad team composition—“if we had only signed Tyreek during Tua’s first year!”—and a general feeling that things will get better as long as they keep their QB locked down.
I understand this dilemma, even though I think most teams are overly sentimental about their QB situation. I do not understand how the Jacksonville Jaguars feel this way about Lawrence. His best season ended in a mediocre record, and his 2023 season represented a backslide in production which should have alerted Jacksonville to the folly of awarding him a giant contract. Through three weeks of 2024, he has continued the trend of mediocrity. If you are paying your franchise quarterback like he is Patrick Mahomes when he is actually playing like Gardner Minshew, you have an intractable problem in your roster that you need to solve. The Jaguar’s commitment to Lawrence is inexplicable, and now that his performance-to-cost ratio is horrific, the front office has no hope of even flipping him for a reasonable pick.
Meter Rating: 8/10. Recommendation: Hope to God that some team is high on Lawrence and willing to pay a fourth. Otherwise, cut him, eat the cap and start again.
Jalen Hurts, Philadelphia Eagles: I was high on Hurts in 2022, and not just because I made a costly trade for him in Fantasy Football. Hurts’ rushing potential combined with his and Jason Kelce’s synergy made him a huge threat, even though he suffered from a nagging case of fumblitis, including a costly fumble-six in Super Bowl LVII. Fast forward to the back half of 2023, though, and the Eagles collapse in spectacular fashion, thanks in no small part to disappointing quarterback play from Hurts. At his best, Hurts was a guy who could win you games; now, at a nadir in his recent career, it feels like sometimes he is doing more harm than good. The Eagles’ Super Bowl window seems to have snapped shut, and it is clear now that Hurts may have been carried by a strong team with a unique style that has, by now, been figured out.
That is not to say that Hurts is not a good quarterback; he certainly is serviceable, perhaps an even better-than-average signal-call-
er. But again, when you are paying a guy elite quarterback money, he cannot have more interceptions than touchdowns, and he certainly cannot be relying on a tush push to pad his stats. If Hurts wants to live out the rest of his years in Philadelphia, he will need to grow as a player and introduce more tricks into the toolbag. Whether he can do that remains to be seen. Meter Rating: 4/10. Recommendation: Keep him in Philly for a few more years. If he can regain his magic, great! If he declines, position yourself well in the draft. Tua Tagovailoa, Miami Dolphins: Look, I get it. I really do. Tagovailoa is an exciting player backed by a great coach and some great offensive weapons. It is fun to watch him play, especially when he is playing well—which is often, but not always. I even loved his bizarre judo arc. I was rooting for him to win out against his medical issues and be the player that he is at his best. But Tagovailoa has only played one full season with the Miami Dolphins, and that play, though it was often impressive, does not offset the fact that he usually spends at least a quarter of the season in concussion protocol. Now, with his contract set and another concussion threatening his life after football, I feel like there is no better time for Tagovailoa to step down from the game. It is not satisfying, it is not good for football, and it is certainly not good for the Dolphins. But, at this point, there is no telling if Tagovailoa would come back the player he is after yet another brutal concussion. It is time to stop chasing the ghost. Meter Rating: 5/10. Recommendation: Start looking in the draft for a player with less of a concussion history.
Daniel Jones, New York Giants: Jones is the only quarterback I have ever seen who consistently looks confused holding a football. Why the Giants paid him that idiotic 40 million per-year contract is beyond me; more than his bad play, his work as a starter is simply uninspiring. He is the Eeyore of the National Football League: constantly moping, getting sacked and frowning at the cameras. His play this season has not been good, but in the depressed, defensive-dominant era we live in, it has actually been exactly average for signal-callers in the League (Going into Week 5, Jones has the 16th best Quarterback Rating among starters). But that is not a defense of Jones’ play; it is a bemoaning of all the bad quarterbacking that is plaguing the modern NFL. Meter Rating: 6/10. Recommendation: Trade him to the Toronto Argonauts for cash considerations and give Danny Dimes the all-star career he has always dreamed of.
Image courtesy of Karen Mogami ’24.
Willem
Brewers Ballin’: Men’s rugby outlasts Williams
Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing. If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email hfrance@vassar.edu.
Brewers Ballin’
Team: Vassar Men’s Rugby
Stats: The Vassar Men’s Rugby team has been perfect with six wins and zero losses on the season, outscoring opponents by 232-to-48 over the span. Coming into the weekend, the Brewers were set to face their toughest test yet against the Williams Ephs. The Brewers prevailed in a 26-24 victory after falling to a 19-0 deficit.
Statement: “The Vassar College Men’s Rugby team has quite a collection of characters. The squad is led by Jack Gibberd and Matheo Dwyer, both seniors who are enthusiastic and committed. We only managed to recruit 4 first year students and we are keen to add players to the rosterNO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. We have been fortunate to have some upperclassmen join so we have a squad of 29 in total. This Fall we are just trying to get better each week so that come playoff time we will be a well organized team that can force opponents to think and hopefully we can challenge them. I was very proud of the effort at Williams as we were without a few starters that forced us to play players out of position. The lads did not use this as an excuse and we prevailed after falling behind 19-0.” -Head Coach Tony Brown
Reinsdorf’s White Sox make (shameful) history
On Friday night, the Detroit Tigers broke the longest active Major League Baseball (MLB) playoff drought, clinching a wild card spot in a 4-1 victory. Announcing the final call with glee was Jason Benetti, longtime announcer of the Chicago White Sox and Chicago Southside native. Benetti was beloved by nearly every Sox fan, but nonetheless, he was forced out of the 101-loss team after the 2023 season to find work in Detroit because he was, according to an interview by NBC Sports Chicago, too analytical. Benetti was celebrated in the Tigers’ clubhouse as the players around him showered him with beer, champagne and love, but the night was overshadowed by another piece of immortal MLB history. The Tigers’ victory over the Chicago White Sox, marking the Sox’s 121st loss of the season. Never in the modern era of baseball (post-1901) has a team lost this many games in one season. This Sox team will forever be remembered as one of the worst teams to ever take the field, and as a Sox fan I could not be more excited for what is to come.
Three years ago this team was putting together the makings of a dynasty. Their young core of prospects had been signed to longterm contracts. Players like Luis Robert, former number one prospect Yoan Moncada and breakout ace Lucas Giolito were primed to dominate the American League Central for years to come, starting with their 93 win and 69 loss 2021 season. The South Side was buzzing with excitement, especially as the Chicago Cubs in the Northside continued to fade out of the spotlight. It would be impossible to cover everything that went catastrophically wrong for the Sox in an article like this, but it will suffice to cover the basics. The team has been in need of a coach since
Ozzie Guillen was sacked in 2011. In just the last few years, they went from the geriatric Tony LaRussa—hired exclusively because he was a friend of owner Jerry Reinsdorf—to the unenthusiastic and completely incompetent Pedro Grifol and finally to interim and firsttime manager Grady Sizemore. Personality issues have marred the clubhouse for the past few years; many leaders and veterans have refused to put in work with young players or show support for the community. The team has also dealt with more than its fair share of injuries, leaving their once promising young core on the sidelines while replacement-level players struggle to keep up with major league skill.
None of the issues mentioned above are unique to these White Sox; the only culprit worth losing sleep over is the owner. Reinsdorf has continually withheld competitive salaries, chosen yes-men to fill leadership roles and made the call to get rid of all the wrong players. While it is evident that he genuinely cares about the team, he refuses to operate past a 1970s understanding of the game. The concept of moneyball is completely lost on him, even as the owner of a team that loves to cosplay as a small-market franchise. Reports have come out about the Sox refusing to pay for scouts and analysts, instead relying on gut feelings and hokey old adages. Without any ability to evaluate talent or improve the existing team, contracts were handed out to all of the wrong players. Carlos Rodon was allowed to walk away after a near-Cy Young (pitcher of the year) campaign. Lance Lynn, Dallas Keuchel and Yasmani Grandal were each signed to a massive contract and played well for one year before age caught up to them. Moncada and Eloy Jimenez were too hampered by injuries and poor training to ever reach their star potential. In 2022, Dylan Cease made a significant
bid for the Cy Young, but after a mediocre 2023, he was traded for a few second-rate prospects. Former captain and batting crown champion Tim Anderson fell into personal troubles, struggled to make contact and got KO’d at second base by the Guardians’ Jose Ramirez, completely ending his once respected career and in many ways ending any excitement the team had built up.
Prior to the 2024 season, almost all of the aforementioned players were traded or released, and the ones that were not were sent away during the trade deadline. In return, Reinsdorf and his incompetent front office put together a team of failed prospects, Triple-AAA sub-replacement level players and wash-ups—one of whom (Andrew Benintendi) earned the White Sox’s largest contract ever handed out. Only one active player in Friday’s game had an on-base percentage of over 0.300, an utterly abysmal figure given that the MLB average is currently 0.313. Their pitchers did not fare much better this season, as a vast majority of their pitchers hold Earned Run Averages high above 4.00, and only five players came away with a positive Wins Above Replacement on defense. There was absolutely nothing redeeming about this torturous team that Reinsdorf orchestrated.
Still, I could not have been more excited to see the Sox finally break the record. Being a White Sox fan, or a fan of any Chicago sports team for that matter, means reveling in the pathetic achievements of the team. Bears fans are perhaps the most well-known for their outspoken love masked as hatred for the team stemming very similarly from mismanagement and poor production outside of one fluke championship year. As true Chicagoans, Sox fans love to gripe and complain. We boo the manager, and we boo the players—we know what it means to be insignificant and written off. The coast-
al elites, southern gentry and even those cheese-heads up north have no idea what it means to have an owner so unwilling to let his team succeed that they break a record that has stood since the nineteenth century when the Cleveland Spiders lost 134 games in 1899. The most characteristic moment from this whole season, however, was the team’s unwillingness to go down without a fight. After they tied the record, they went 5-1 with their only loss being to the Tigers on Friday. This team was so bad that when it mattered most, they could not
For the first time since they won the World Series in 2005, the Sox went down in the history books so the next generations can understand what it means to live through the pain of loving their team.
even be counted on to lose, which was the most poetic way to end the season. Benetti may have been down in the clubhouse celebrating with his new Tigers family, but we White Sox fans had something much more exciting to celebrate. For the first time since they won the World Series in 2005, the Sox went down in the history books so the next generations can understand what it means to live through the pain of loving their team. Chicago is the city of the big shoulders, the hog butcher to the world and now the home of perhaps the most infamous baseball team of all time.
Image courtesy of Tony Brown.
Felix Mundy-Mancino Games Editor
The Miscellany Crossword
Category Match
By Felix Mundy-Mancino
CATEGORY MATCH INSTRUCTIONS
In the word bank below, there are 16 words that belong to four categories. Each word belongs to only one category. You don’t know which words belong together, nor do you know what the categories are! Try to find similarities between them and place them into four categories below. Answers (which words belong together, as well as the categories they belong to) will be revealed in next week’s issue. Have fun!
category:
Toyota Car Models: COROLLA PRIUS TACOMA HIGHLANDER
WORD BANK
“Season’s Greetings”
By Mia Ryan
By Felix Mundy-Mancino
The Miscellany Crossword
“Weekday #1”
By Olivia Blank
ACROSS
1. Policy for dreamers
5. “___ the night before Christmas ...”
9. More secure
14. Polis leader?
15. Stop 16. Thin pancake
17. Chicago landmark, with “the”
18. Canadian gas brand
19. Hilarious
20. Like Vassar’s academic dishonesty policy
23. Brand that sampled an NSYNC hit for its 2017 Super Bowl commercial
25. Before, poetically
26. Final inning, usually 27. Places of no return?
31. Pesto herb
32. Pet food brand
33. “May I have your ___ please?” (Abbr.)
34. Second half of a rhyming children’s dance title
36. Citation shortener
40. Drawer for miscellaneous items
41. Assistant Humor Editor’s middle name
42. Almost-identical pair, figuratively
46. Holiday dishes?
47. “If U Seek ___”, 2009 Britney Spears song
48. Smokey the Bear ad, e.g. 49. ‘70s-’80s sitcom starring John Ritter
53. Five-time world figure skating champion Carol 54. ___ Morita, co-founder of Sony
55. Bug bite symptom
58. Nas or MF Doom
59. 401(k) alternatives
60. Gaming novice, slangily
61. Yuletide melodies
62. Dog tag info
63. Teenage clothing store, for short
DOWN
1. Dance move popularized by a former Panther
2. King’s superior
3. Most insane
4. Big name in steak sauce
5. Darwin’s was about evolution
6. Fails to recycle
7. In addition
8. Small-runway aircraft acronym
9. Sunday ___ (End-of-week anxiety, casually)
10. Unmitigated
11. Deceptive boxing moves
12. Pleistocene, e.g.
13. Nerve network
21. Lead in to Madrid
22. Burr, to Hamilton
23. Twisted Soul offering
24. Med school subj.
28. Capture the flag
29. Chicken ___ masala
30. Issa of “Awkward Black Girl”
34. Cocoons’ contents
35. Number on a foam finger
36. She, in Brazil
37. What a child may stand on
38. Muchos meses
39. Mother of Helen of Troy
40. People to keep up with?
41. Actress Taylor-Joy
42. Not just two times
43. He got the Nobel for “Night”
44. Green eggs and ham promoter
45. Levy
46. Common cancer treatment, informally
49. Back in the day
50. Abel’s brother
51. Gumbo staple
52. One of a Columbus trio
56. Prefix with relation
57. “Last Week Tonight” airer