The Miscellany News
miscellanynews.org
Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866
February 1, 2024
Volume 161 | Issue 2
Student travels Soul Glo concert excites amid winter blues to Pilsen, CZ Carina Cole
Features Editor
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Charlotte Robertson Managing Editor
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us and I are the only ones to show up for the Pilsen field trip. It is a Friday, no class, and our study abroad program offered an expense-paid tour of the city. “If you’re in, I’m in,” says my teacher to me and Gus. “This way, we get extra lunch.” The train takes an hour and a half. I sleep most of the way. I have this thing about vehicles and drowsiness. As we are pulling into the station, I wake gently and realize my mouth has been open. Embarrassing. Gus is telling our teacher about quadball. He is a national champion. She is fascinated. “I have a tournament tomorrow,” he is saying. He joined a team as soon as he moved abroad. I ask if he can understand his teammates and he says no, showing me texts in a group chat, all in Czech. Thank God for Google Translate. I am nearing the end of my semester in Prague and panic has settled within me. I have this list—museums and cafes and restaurants I want to see—and I am running out of days. I originally planned to spend the full academic year abroad, but I was See Pilsen on page 8
Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.
lthough the snow on campus has nearly melted, people are still searching for ways to avoid the cold as winter marches on. What better way to warm up than attending a packed, energy-filled concert? Last Friday, Jan. 26, Vassar College Entertainment (ViCE) hosted their winter concert featuring artists demahjiae and Soul Glo. The organization, co-headed by Dora Levite ’24 and Kwabena Adae ’26, tested the waters with an all-new theme: a snow globe-inspired affair held in the Susan Stein Shiva Theater. A sense of excitement and anticipation hung in the air the week prior to the concert, and for good reason. The main act, Soul Glo, creates music that is an exhilarating amalgam of hardcore punk and raprock. The group hails from Philadelphia and is composed of members Pierce Jordan, GG Guerra and TJ Stevenson, with Jordan primarily responsible for vocals while Guerra and Stevenson play a variety of instruments. Their lyrics deal with issues spanning from mental health to racism in America, all of which are layered over samples, crunchy guitar and booming drums back Jordan’s power-laced shouts. Demahjiae, the opening act, maintains a similar sense of charisma and command throughSee Soul Glo on page 7
Vassar fashion VSA, admin implement dining changes Emma Brown
Emma Lawrence
Guest Reporter
Assistant Arts Editor
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n a typical day at Vassar College, you might have to dart between “Movement for Actors” and “The Origins of Periodical Literature” with only 15 minutes to spare, and you have to dress accordingly. With such a vast array of classes, WorkStudy and extracurricular opportunities, Vassar students are forced to find the perfect “fit” that can check off every box. I interviewed three students with very distinct senses of style and got their opinions on the fashion landscape for 2024 at Vassar College. What fashion trends do you see around campus? CHARLOTTE TANNER-MORASH ’26: “I think Vassar definitely has its own microbiome, so to speak, when it comes to fashion. In an environment as busy as Times Square in December, I could identify a Vassar student with 86 percent accuracy. Currently, I am seeing a lot of knitwear, ‘your father’s’ leather jackets and identifiably thrifted sweaters with an off-the-rack American Eagle baggy jean. Overall, I think the goal of Vassar fashion at the moment is to look like you would be an amazing barista in See Fashion on page 6
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News.
t the outset of the second semester, Vassar administrators and the Vassar Student Association (VSA) implemented changes to the college’s dining system, including adjustments to the meal options available at Vassar’s grab-and-go locations, Retreat and Express, the relocation of The Brew to the Bridge Cafe and the introduction of additional meal swipes in response to student feedback. The Retreat will reopen with previously unavailable hot food options on Feb. 7 after operating with only cold food choices since the start of the fall semester. Although hot food used to be standard at the Retreat, the facility’s cooking equipment could not be used last semester during the replacement of the exhaust system. The reintroduction of hot food also marks the start of Grill options being available at Retreat. “In addition to the Bowl serving window, we plan on opening a Grill breakfast and Grill lunch window,” said Dennis Macheska, the Associate Dean of Campus Activities. “The Bowl window will continue to serve students’ favorites for lunch until close.” After renovations have concluded, the Retreat will serve breakfast options, including See DINING on page 3
Inside this issue
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NEWS
News Editor Clara Alger reports on guest lecturer and author Dara Horn’s talk.
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HUMOR
Does New Hackensack building actually exist? Humor Editor Nicholas Tillinghast debunks the myth.
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SPORTS
As the race to the Super Bowl continues, Columnist Henry France reviews this Sunday’s NFL game.
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February 1, 2024
THE MISCELLANY NEWS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR SENIOR EDITORS
Maryam Bacchus Charlotte Robertson Sufana Noorwez Sashinka Poor Sandro Lorenzo CONTRIBUTING EDITORS William Sorge Monika Sweeney Clara Alger NEWS EDITORS Makenna Monaghan Allison Lowe ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR Allen Hale ARTS EDITORS Jesse Koblin Emma Lawrence ASSISTANT ARTS EDITOR Carina Cole FEATURES EDITOR Luke Jenkins ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR Lev Winickoff OPINIONS EDITOR Nicholas Tillinghast HUMOR EDITOR Oliver Stewart ASSISTANT HUMOR EDITOR Nick Villamil SPORTS EDITOR Caris Lee ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Igor Martiniouk PHOTO EDITOR Molly Delahunty DESIGN EDITOR Amelia Gracie ASSISTANT DESIGN EDITOR Julia Weinberg COPY EDITOR Anabel Lee ASSISTANT COPY EDITOR Karen Mogami GRAPHICS EDITOR Sadie Keesbury GAMES EDITOR Olivia Hahn SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS Richard Lu Catherine Borthwick LIVE EVENTS CHAIR Fallon Dern ASSISTANT LIVE EVENTS CHAIR Kai Chang WEBMASTERS Michael Yang Britt Andrade REPORTERS/COLUMNISTS Cassandra Brook Soren Fischer Henry France Yaksha Gummadapu Anna Kozloski Gwen Ma Oliver Stewart Josie Wenner Andrew Chu CARTOONISTS Ian Watanabe Kathryn Carvel COPY STAFF Darja Coutts Grace Finke Willa Jewitt Claire Miller Ailynn O’Neill Emma Sandrew Emma San Filippo Edward Welch Morgan
CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed. The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
NEWS
February 1, 2024
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Dining changes in Retreat, Express, The Continued from DINING on page 1 breakfast sandwiches and wraps, in addition to daily lunch specials such as BBQ Portobello with grilled veggies on a club roll. Sushi options that are available on Wednesdays, as well as the daily side dish choices currently at Retreat, will continue to be offered after the switch to hot food. “Considering how convenient having hot food at Retreat was last year, it’ll be a nice change because I won’t have to walk all the way to [Gordon Commons] to get warm food,” said Federico La Rosa ’26. “And the cold food in the Retreat right now is pretty unhealthy.”
Following its reopening, the cold food options currently at Retreat will be available at Express. Starting Feb. 7, students will be able to pick up food with a meal swipe, in addition to credit or VCash. Previously, items at Express could only be purchased with VCash or credit. Students will now have two swipes a day to be used at Express, which will be open
seven days a week. “We wanted to maintain a meal swipe in order to provide students flexible options,” said Macheska. “Adding a meal program from Express allowed for us to offer food on weekends as a pilot program for this semester as well as offer an ‘express’ alternative to the Retreat during busy lunch periods.” At Express, students can use their meal swipe to pick up two entree items, one side and a fountain drink. The Brew, the student-run coffee shop currently located in The Mug, has relocated to the Bridge for Laboratory Sciences to operate in the former location of the Bridge Cafe, and will continue to accept credit and VCash. Twisted Soul will sell desserts such as cupcakes and cookies, as well as boba tea, in The Mug on Wednesdays and Fridays. In addition to changes to Vassar’s graband-go dining, the VSA recently announced that students will now have access to 4 guest swipes at Gordon Commons per semester. Without a guest swipe, guests will continue to pay $15 to eat at the dining hall. “By the end of the [fall] semester, the deans ran [the guest swipes program] by the financial team and said that a pilot program was totally feasible with four swipes per student,” said Connor Dalgaard ’26, the VSA’s Chair of Residential Affairs and a senator for the class of 2026. “Based on how well the pilot program goes, if they see a lot of people using it and it’s been well received, then they’ll keep doing it year after year.” Other members of the VSA see the pilot program as a starting point for other improvements to dining at Vassar.
CJC
VJU
“Considering how convenient having hot food at Retreat was last year, it’ll be a nice change because I won’t have to walk all the way to [Gordon Commons] to get warm food...”
and Clara Alger News Editor
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n the eve of Holocaust Remembrance Day, Friday Jan. 26, Dara Horn visited campus to speak on combating antisemitism and her book “People Love Dead Jews.” Invited by Chabad Jewish Community (CJC) and Vassar Jewish Union (VJU), Horn is an acclaimed novelist, essayist and professor. Published in 2021, “People Love Dead Jews” is an essay collection exploring how we talk about and commemorate Jewish history. CJC President Julia Segal ’24 explained while introducing Horn, that “‘People Love Dead Jews’ deals with the real and imagined Jewish past—from the story that we like to tell about Anne Frank to the stories that American Jews tell themselves about Ellis Island and Jewish immigration to this country.” The event was also sponsored by The President’s Office, the Psychology Department, Asian Studies, The Office of Religious and Spiritual Life and Contemplative Practices (RSLCP), The Office of Living and Wellness, and Engaged Pluralism (EP). Director of EP, Prof. Jonathon Kahn, explained that the organizers of the lecture applied to EP for funding through their Igniter Pitch grants. The EP website describes Igniter Pitch projects as those that “foster belonging, equity, and/or dialogue between social groups in the Vassar community.” In a written correspondence, Kahn noted, “The Horn applicants emphasized the importance of dialogue around the issue of antisemitism on our campus, and in their application spoke about the importance of engaging the broader Vassar community on this issue.” The lecture started at 4:30 p.m., coinciding with Shabbat and the Muslim Maghrib prayer time. To honor these practices, a microphone was not used and a prayer room
invite
was reserved upstairs. Segal noted that the organization’s affiliate advisor Dalia Sanoff had the idea to bring Horn to campus a few years ago, but that Oct. 7 was the impetus for finally making that happen. In her introduction, VJU President Rebecca Schwartz ’25 noted, “We’re just hearing so much about antisemitism now and I wanted someone who could take a step back and walk us through it from a historical angle.” Segal added, “At Vassar, we deeply value thinking critically about the world around us, and examining our role within a broader socio-historical context.” She continued, “When first presented with the opportunity to bring Dara Horn to campus, I immediately viewed this as an important continuation of these conversations with an accomplished scholar who has dedicated her work to the questions we have only started to scratch the surface of.” One attendee of the lecture, Zander Swift ’26, said in a written correspondence, “I went because I think anti-Semitism has been a big point of discussion on college campuses and when people speak about education, as a result of the Israel-Palestine conflict.” He continued, “I’ve also been learning a lot about the atrocities of the conflict, particularly those perpetuated by the Israeli state against the Palestinian people, and I think the weaponization of the term ‘anti-Semitism’ is rising along with the very real threat of anti-Semitism itself.” At the start of her talk, Horn thanked the audience for coming and not avoiding these hard conversations, noting, “The uncomfortable moments are where the story is.” She worked in humor throughout the lecture, engaging with the audience and fielding student questions at the end. During the lecture Horn touched on her
“Guest swipes can be a form of quality control,” says Mae Long ’24, the VSA’s Chair of Student Financial Affairs and a senator for the class of 2024. “If a parent or family member were to visit and the food wasn’t great, it could lead to some complaints. We’ve all seen how on admitted students or parents weekends the food tends to be a little better, and this has the potential to create a similar standard throughout the entire academic year.” Students have expressed appreciation for the guest swipe pilot program because it eliminates stress around potential additional expenses. “I do think it’s helpful because it makes it more convenient for us to host our friends from home without putting an economic imposition on anyone,” says Gabe Moss ’27. Guest swipes will expire at the conclusion of each semester and can only be used by a
Brew
guest when they are with a Vassar student. Due to concerns about the availability of food options for students with dietary restrictions, the VSA and dining administrators have also worked to introduce new choices. “Recently, a new supplier of gluten free bread was implemented in the Deece and a new focus on ensuring that condiments are stocked in the refrigerator occurred in the fall semester,” says Dalgaard. At the recommendation of the VSA, the dishwashing station in Gordon Commons has reduced the number of trash and recycling bins to accommodate two new compost stations in an effort to reduce traffic as students dispose of food scraps. Students are encouraged to fill out feedback sheets or offer comments about their dining experience if there are changes they would like to see.
Charlotte Robertson/The Miscellany News.
speaker experience serving on Harvard’s Antisemitism Advisory Group after Oct. 7, commenting that she was inundated with concerns from Jewish students. She said some administrators were shocked, because it contradicted what they thought they knew about education—that it is antithetical to prejudice. Yet Horn pointed out that antisemitism is often the product of intellectuals who are building visions of a world built on the demonization of Jews. She added, “Antisemitism is the replacement of truth with lies.” Her lecture then moved into a discussion of narratives about Zionism. She argued that people assume that Zionism is “nefarious,” or an aberration from history, but that it is similar to most nation states. Swift said, “As a whole, listening to her gave me greater understanding of how anti-Semitism and, to an extent, anti-Zionism have manifested historically and currently, but I wish there was more discussion within the student body on campus because I feel like people still have different perceptions of what ‘anti-Semitism’ means in the context of this global conflict.” Horn also spoke on where Diversity, Eq-
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Dara
Horn
uity and Inclusion (DEI) and Holocaust education often fail in combating antisemitism. She emphasized that Holocaust education is often framed as a case study on morality and erases living Jews. After the talk, students gathered at the Chabad House to continue the conversation over Shabbat dinner. When asked what she hopes students took away from the lecture, Schwartz said, “I hope that they want to learn more. Like [Horn] says, that people use this as a jumping off point to learn things about Jewish culture that they didn’t already know or that they didn’t expect to learn.” Rabbi Bryan Mann, the Assistant Director of the RSLCP, noted in an email to The Miscellany News, “We hope Jewish students especially came away feeling supported and more willing to talk with their trusted peers, faculty, staff, and administrators about their experiences on and off campus.” He added, “We hope the campus as a whole came away with a greater understanding of antisemitism and Dara Horn’s unique analysis; even as we recognize there are various analyses of and approaches to addressing antisemitism.”
Julia Weinberg/The Miscellany News.
NEWS
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February 1, 2024
Poughkeepsie 4 Palestine marches on Raymond Avenue Allison Lowe
Assistant News Editor
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he grassroots, youth-led organization, Poughkeepsie 4 Palestine, held a march in support of the Palestinian people on Sunday, Jan. 21. The march, beginning just outside of Vassar’s campus, in front of the gate on the corner of Raymond and College Avenues, called for a ceasefire in the ongoing conflict between Israel and Hamas. A group of a few dozen protestors, composed of Hudson Valley residents, Vassar students and Vassar alumnae/i, convened in sub-freezing temperatures to march along Raymond Avenue, with the goal of expressing solidarity with Palestinians and encouraging local organizations and representatives to do the same. The march was populated with protestors bearing supportive signs, wearing keffiyehs (a traditional Arab headdress that has come to symbolize the struggle for a Palestinian state) and waving Palestinian flags. Organizers led chants as the protestors trekked along the snowy Poughkeepsie sidewalks. The march continued on to the office of Representative Pat Ryan (D-N.Y.), who has represented New York’s 18th Congressional District since 2023. This was motivated by Ryan accepting nearly $26,000 in campaign donations from the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, as well as his vocal support of Israel following the Oct. 7 attacks. Following previous demonstrations in his congressional district that have called for a ceasefire, Ryan stated in an interview with the Times Union that it would take both sides to commit to a ceasefire, saying, “What I’ve been calling for is that as soon as Hamas is willing to stop its attacks and commit to not continuing them, Israel must do the same, and then we will have an effective and lasting cease-fire.” In front of Ryan’s office on Raymond Avenue, organizers and protestors had the opportunity to give speeches to the crowd. Rahul-Daniyal Kumar, the 14-year-old founder and president of Poughkeepsie 4 Palestine, spoke about the three Palestinian students—Kinnan Abdalhamid, Tahseen Ali Ahmad and Hisham Awartani— who were shot in Burlington, Vermont. He expressed the danger that Arab and Muslim students around the country now face, with threats such as these becoming
more frequent. In an interview following the march, Kumar elaborated on this sentiment, explaining how intense this pressure can be, especially as an activist and organizer. He said, “You just think—people who look like you and are from a similar cultural background… When you see those three boys being shot for just wearing a scarf, that weighs on you a lot. And you’re really worried if you’re going to be next.” Kumar, who is from Poughkeepsie, founded Poughkeepsie 4 Palestine in November 2023. He was inspired to start a movement in order to give an opportunity for Hudson Valley locals—especially young students such as himself—to learn more about Palestine and the treatment of the Palestinian people. The weekend prior to the Jan. 21 protest, he and the other leaders of Poughkeepsie 4 Palestine planned to hold the march on Raymond Avenue, so that it could be accessible to Vassar students as well as local community members. Kumar expressed feeling relatively at ease while speaking in front of the crowd. “I wasn’t that nervous, because it felt like a safe space,” he explained. “It felt like there was a community there. So, speaking up and doing all of that felt powerful.” After speaking and chanting in front of Ryan’s office, the march moved to the McDonald’s on Main Street. Protestors voiced their support for boycotting the institution due to its continued support of Israel. They mentioned McDonald’s donation of 100,000 meals to Israel Defense Forces (IDF) personnel as being a motivator for the boycott. This boycott of McDonald’s, as well as other companies such as Starbucks, has become widespread since the beginning of the Israel-Hamas war in October. According to NBC News, the action against McDonald’s began in response to reports of a McDonald’s Israel franchise owner announcing the donation of free meals to IDF soldiers and Israeli hospitals. However, the official McDonald’s Corporation has stated that it does not support or fund any individual governments or forces involved in the conflict, and that the decisions made by local franchises were not approved by the corporation. Nonetheless, many have continued to find importance in supporting a total boycott of McDonald’s, with the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement endorsing and
encouraging it. Poughkeepsie 4 Palestine marchers encouraged moving toward local Arab-owned businesses instead. Speakers at the march also emphasized the importance of education and community. They encouraged taking actions such as forming local reading groups to read Palestinian writings and discuss them together.
“Just because you stand with Palestine, that doesn’t mean you have any hatred or any resentment against the Israeli people or Jewish people. We, as an organization, condemn all types of antisemitism and all types of excuses to [spread] blatant hatred.” Another common sentiment that was highlighted throughout the march was the idea of solidarity and universality. Kumar explained, “I talked about how, right now, standing with Palestine isn’t about religion or ethnicity… It’s about humanity. It’s about standing with people as they go through genocide.” Kumar further explained that Poughkeepsie 4 Palestine stands against all forms of discrimination and hatred, stating, “Just because you stand with Palestine, that doesn’t mean you have any hatred or any resentment against the Israeli people or Jewish people. We, as an organization, condemn all types of antisemitism and all types of excuses to [spread] blatant hatred.” After this, the march left McDonald’s and moved back to its starting point on the corner of Raymond and College Avenues. In front of the gate to Vassar’s campus, members of the march took the time to advertise upcoming events, such as Vassar Students for Justice in Palestine (VSJP)’s open board meeting, a gathering of the Hudson Valley branch of Jewish Voices for Peace and a rally in Newburgh. Kumar also
Image courtesy of Posey Whidden ’25. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
promised an event in Beacon that would take place by the end of February. The march left off on a hopeful note, with plans for future action and community-building efforts. Yet, protestors remained aware of the gravity of the situation. John Francis Mulligan, an activist and LaGrangeville resident, elaborated on his purpose in attending the march in a written statement to The Miscellany News. “I protest today against the ongoing genocide of Palestinians,” he stated. “All the mosques in Gaza have been bombed, all the universities have been bombed, and last documented—there were only 6 ambulances for a population of 2.5 million… We demanded ceasefire and humanitarian [aid] to Gaza.” An anonymous Vassar student who attended spoke about their experience at the protest, saying, “It was my first protest. I think it was a really big turnout. It was nice to see a lot of familiar faces coming from campus…and a lot of people that were very passionate.” The Vassar student also spoke on the importance of the College community getting involved in actions such as the Poughkeepsie 4 Palestine march. They explained, “Even though we’re super far away, it’s the least we can do, especially because Vassar is partly complicit. We can advocate and be voices for the voiceless. It’s important to keep advocating for what we believe in, and hopefully there can be a ceasefire.” Kumar similarly echoed the importance of Vassar students being able to express their views, saying, “I think that something we can control is that we, as the Vassar community, are not complicit in this genocide.” Poughkeepsie 4 Palestine plans to continue taking actions that will support Palestine, with many of these upcoming plans being shared on their Instagram. The march along Raymond Avenue is slated to occur weekly on Sundays, with the exception of Jan. 28, which was canceled due to weather. Kumar highlighted the importance of continuing actions such as these in the Hudson Valley in particular, saying, “The Hudson Valley is an important part of not only New York State, but also, I believe, the country as well… It’s an area that needs to be recognized more in youth activism. I wanted to be a part of that and I want our organization to be a part of that.”
Allison Lowe/The Miscellany News.
February 1, 2024
ARTS
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Get in losers, we’re reviewing the new ‘Mean Girls’ adaptation Madeleine Nicks Guest Columnist
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y first weekend back on campus, I had one priority: go see the “Mean Girls” (2024) musical movie. Make no mistake, I was not going to see the movie for the nostalgia of the original 2004 version but rather because I am nothing if not a die-hard fan of the 2017 Broadway production. When the original Broadway cast recording came out in 2018, I was absolutely obsessed with it. While I can put my theater kid identity to the side and admit as much as the next Broadway-hating person that some of the lyrics err on the cheesy, undeniably dramatic side, it also has its merits. The Broadway musical expertly transferred the tone of the cult classic early 2000s high school “Mean Girls,” maintaining its beloved gossipy plot and iconic lines while making compromises to win over the hearts of the Broadway community. Tina Fey, who wrote the book for the Broadway show, adapted the screenplay for the original movie, as well as for this new iteration. The consistency in the creative team behind all versions of “Mean Girls” is an essential component of creating tonal coherence. Yet this movie posed a set of challenges they had yet to encounter: three completely separate fan bases. Anyone who bought a ticket to see this movie was either a fan of the original film, a Broadway lover or expecting something entirely different. The balancing act of these widely differing opinions meant that the dialogue surrounding the new “Mean Girls” was loud and opinionated. As I left the theater, I knew in my bones that those who did not have some previous love for “Mean Girls,” no matter what version, were not going to enjoy this movie. Honestly, it was made for those who wanted to go to laugh and sing. Keeping all the perspectives in mind, here are three things I thought the new movie did well, in respect to both previous productions, and three things that I would have changed. I thought this new movie perfectly casted Karen and Damian. These two roles are, admittedly, incredibly different, taking up space in two opposite spheres of the story. As other parts of the movie became almost un-
watchable, Karen and Damian maintained their expertly crafted, very niche comedic performances. Avantika Vandanapu plays Karen, the traditionally “hot” and “dumb” member of her popular and ruthless trio, the Plastics. While those defining features still ring true in Vandanapu’s performance, she interprets them through subtlety and amazing timing, packing a major punch in each scene. Her signature song, “Sexy,” remains incredibly true to the Broadway version and has some of the only lyrical changes that audiences responded to positively, which is a testament to how much Vandanapu made this role her own. In a similar vein, Damian, played by Jaquel Spivey, was a breath of fresh air anytime he was on screen. I credit this to his Broadway background—he made his debut in “A Strange Loop” in 2022. His confidence and technical training shine, elevating this role to a whole new level. He is no longer just a sidekick; he is taking up his own space and doing it fabulously. Spivey was able to maintain his humor and delivery throughout the songs, which made the transitions in and out of the regular scenes much more fluid. Maybe it goes without saying, but Reneé Rapp was a pivotal part of the success and credibility of the film. As the only actor who had been part of the Broadway cast, Rapp was essential in being able to bridge the gap between the musical and brand new fan bases. Even more than her sharp wit and perfectly camp performance as Regina George, her vocal chops were essential in doing right by Regina’s songs. They were meant to be belted and show off the singer’s incredible range. Rapp delivers in spades. Vocal strength was also evident with Janis, portrayed by Auli‘i Cravalho. Janis serves as the heart of this story and also underwent one of the biggest transformations from the original film to this movie. Her victorious message-driven arc is enhanced by her songs, some of the best on the score. Cravalho’s voice feels authentic and impressive, ensuring that Rapp is not single-handedly carrying the musical validity. The fact that the strongest voices are on either side of the main conflict gives a weight to the main plot line, making it more dynamic and interesting.
I believe the movie was able to create a fun and delightfully playful theater-going experience. Those who came in expecting to see a sharper, more modern version of the 2004 movie had the wrong expectations. The Broadway production was not meant to give a new generation the opportunity to fall in love with these classic characters, create original show tunes and maybe even sneak some tap dancing in between. The musical movie strives for the same lively dramatics and entertaining production design. Once I stopped watching the film with a critical eye, I enjoyed being able to watch some of my favorite Broadway songs played out on the big screen and witness fresh interpretations of these deeply funny characters. While I enjoyed those many aspects of the film, here are some things I would have done differently: I truly usually give the benefit of the doubt to casting decisions, but after weeks of reflection, I can say without a doubt that Angourie Rice was miscast. I am curious as to how they arrived at the decision that she was the right Cady, due to her underperformance both in her acting and singing. It is an indisputable fact that in the 2004 movie and the Broadway show, Cady is the lead. On Broadway, Cady has the majority of the songs. This is not a small task, requiring plenty of stamina, formal technique and range. Lindsay Lohan, with wit and style, transforms from a shy and nerdy kid into a biting, popular queen bee, and back again. Rice’s performance has no tonal complexity and is entirely unconvincing through all the stages of Cady’s arc. With the extremes of teenage personalities expressed through other characters, Cady must serve as a middle ground through which we understand the effects of peer pressure. Lohan is able to act as this vessel while still remaining individualistic and likable, while Rice feels overly impressionable. Furthermore, she is not a strong singer. Without substantial background support, Rice’s voice audibly fell short from the rest of the cast, which drastically brought down the quality of the entire soundtrack. Cady as a character has the openness and freedom for an actress to deliver an amazingly rich performance, and unfortunately, Rice did not take that
chance. The second misstep I felt while watching the movie was the Gen Z-ification of the wardrobe and overall aesthetic. It was the element I was most nervous about going in. While I feel that there is a huge crop of films that were able to perfectly capture the fashion and feel of the early 2000s, that same cultural awareness and translation to the screen is not present currently. The stylization of the Plastics and their hyper-artsy counterparts felt out-of-touch and boring. In the 2004 movie, the Plastics felt truly cool, curating an elevated sense of style, which made their reign of popularity feel more feasible. The Y2K look is still regularly referenced in current style, so this was the ideal time to keep some of the more iconic costumes of the original film, like the talent show Santa outfits. This would have been a perfectly subtle way to add some more nostalgic aspects into the modern take, making the overall look more harmonious with the original version. Instead, the design of this film felt tacky and forced, fueled by micro-trends and an abundance of unnecessary accessories. The last element I felt the new movie got wrong was the marketing strategies leading up to the release. Their team made a distinct decision not to advertise the movie as a musical version, which quickly changed from simply confusing to a baiting attempt to create conversation around the movie without actually creating quality content, trailers and teasers. Much of the anticipation of the film rested on Rapp’s shoulders, so much so that her own individual musical identity seemed to become completely interwoven with her performance as Regina. Chris Briney, who played a lackluster Aaron Samuels, has arguably the most media clout to his name, yet the least important role in the actual film. He is vocal about his inability to sing and lack of knowledge about musical theater and the Broadway production, all of which further cements the film’s endeavor to cover up the musical side in an attempt to garner a larger audience. In the end, I believe that if their publicity team press was louder and prouder about what the film actually is, the energy surrounding it would be less critical and more supportive of its mission statement.
Bzrp music sessions complement artists’ individual styles Maryam Bacchus Editor-in-Chief
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rgentine DJ Bizarrap’s style combines Latin trap with EDM and rap. He recently made his way into the spotlight via his Bzrp Music Sessions, a series of independent recordings with various Latin artists. However, I first discovered him through a collaboration with Puerto Rican artist Rauw Alejandro on the latter’s most recent album. The track, titled “BABY HELLO,” is the last on the album, a continuation of the celestial themes on Alejandro’s two latest projects—“SATURNO” and “PLAYA SATURNO”—both released in 2023. After enjoying the shift from Alejandro’s blended reggaeton beats to Bizarrap’s EDM sound, I sought out the DJ’s biography and discovered his music sessions. Since then, quite a few have made it into my weekly listening rotation. The music sessions share similar qualities from Bizarrap’s style, but also integrate individual influence from the artists themselves, making seamless transitions between different discographies. Below, I have compiled a short list of my favorite sessions that also work well together.
Peso Pluma: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 55 Like Bizarrap, Peso Pluma has recently broken into the mainstream with jaunty Mariachi-inspired acoustics. Having only previously heard his music featured in online videos, this session inspired me to peruse his “This is Peso Pluma” playlist on Spotify. His Bzrp session largely keeps true to his style but features a segue into a trap beat, including a few synths before concluding with the original sound. Many fans of Peso Pluma enjoy the deviation, as the two styles complement each other well despite being quite different. Quevedo: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 52 Quevedo’s music session actually gained the previously unknown Madrid-born artist recognition. This track is definitely the resident party song on this list, as the beat is reminiscent of European club music. Like Peso Pluma, Quevedo was relatively unknown to me prior to listening to his session. His other popular songs by him follow a similar pattern, but their underlying beats are more akin to the sound of modern reggaeton artists. Rauw Alejandro: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 56
Rauw Alejandro’s music session was my gateway to Bizarrap, and both this session and the artist are my favorites of this list. Alejandro also has the closest original style to that of Bizarrap, which could be an explanation for why the two work well together. The former is considered a king in the modern reggaeton scene and often experiments with synth beats in his own music. One of his most recognized songs, “Todo De Ti,” features a prominent electronic sound reminiscent of 80s arcade music throughout the introduction and conclusion; the tune fades into the background of the remainder of the song. However, “Todo De Ti” is paced much slower than Alejandro’s session, which is closer to the aforementioned “BABY HELLO.” Shakira: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 53 Perhaps the most famous of the sessions, Shakira’s recording won several accolades in 2023, including Best Urban Pop Song at the Latino Music Awards, Best Pop Song and Song Of The Year at the Latin Grammy Awards, and Latin Pop Song Of The Year at the Billboard Latin Music Awards. It is rumored to be a diss track to her ex, Gerard Piqué, following his cheating scandal in 2022. It starts off with a futuristic sound that
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
continues throughout the chorus. Later in the track, she also raps over a typical Latin trap beat, which is uncommon for the longtime star. Her session overall is full of surprises, only enhanced when listeners consider the story behind it. Young Miko: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 58 The newest session features up-and-coming Puerto Rican rapper Young Miko. I was introduced to her last summer, and I enjoy her voice and style. In this session, her rapping is combined with a trap and electronic sound, similar to the structure of Rauw Alejandro’s works. Later in the session, her voice fades into Bizarrap’s familiar synth during the bridge. The overall concept of the music sessions was previously absent from my listening rotation, which is why I am glad I found Bizarrap. His unique influence on the discography of some of my beloved artists has been great to discover, and in the process, I have also found new artists to listen to. The versatility of the artists he works with and the tracks he produces with them are a testament to the quality of his individual work.
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ARTS
February 1, 2024
Campus fashion through the eyes of Vassar students Continued from Fashion on page 1 some hole-in-the-wall Greenwich Village coffee shop.” SOLSTICE LAUREN ’26: “The number one thing that stands out to me about Vassar fashion is how different and alternative people are willing to dress. Even on a Sunday morning, when someone has nowhere to go except the dining hall for brunch, they might dress in ripped jeans with a short skirt on top, a corset top layered with a knit sweater, combat boots, piles of jewelry and thick eyeliner. There is also a culture of alternative styles that I think is really fascinating— from bleached eyebrows to modern tattoos. Vassar students aren’t afraid to step outside the typical college fraternity/sorority uniform.” ERIN KAUFMAN ’26: “Fashion trends around campus—I honestly don’t feel like I can accurately pinpoint fashion trends at Vassar because of how different they all are. I love to see what people can create with completely different pieces in their wardrobe and could change their style every day.”
es Circle)? TANNER-MORASH: “The Nircle at this time of year? No, thank you! I do not even want to drag my poor TH-designated Air Force 1s through that mud. Also...going to Kenyon or Blodgett is so out.” LAUREN: “Forest green Dr. Martens lace-up boots.” I second Charlotte: You’ll never catch me trekking through the slush during the winter months. It’s safe to say that the Halloween Tent is the sole reason I will sacrifice a pair of shoes to the Nircle.
With such a vast array of classes, work-study and extracurricular opportunities, Vassar students are forced to find the perfect “fit” that can check off every box.
OOTD: Where is everything in your outfits from? TANNER-MORASH: “Everything (excluding accessories and my non-pictured, go-to boots from DSW) in this fit was thrifted! As far as brands go: trench coat is from Burberry (perhaps my favorite thrift ever), shirt and pants are both from Theory, earrings are from Amazon, backpack is from Herschel and pearls were a gift and are from Tiffany’s. I think this is a great example of a solid class-to-Work Study outfit. I honestly feel most confident in business casual attire anyway, especially when I can find pieces like this shirt and pant combination that are particularly flattering. [My favorite piece] would have to be the trenchcoat. Just because...how could you not love a Burberry coat you got for $20? We are inseparable in the temperate fall (best) weather.” LAUREN: “[The] dress [is] thrifted, no tag, tights [are from] Target, socks [are from] Urban Outfitters [and my] boots [are] Dr. Martens. I am wearing this to auditions! My favorite thing about this outfit is that there are subtle roses throughout it. You might not be able to tell in this picture, but the shoes have rose appliqués, the socks have small black roses on the backs, and the dress has small lace roses on the top. Roses are a fashion staple of mine, so I’ll always love an outfit covered in them.” KAUFMAN: “This has got to be one of my favorite outfits. I thrifted the strapless top, the pants are from Aritzia, [the] silver jewelry [is] from various places, the pink choker that was originally a headband and the AirPods Max that, I think, really make this my usual outfit. This is probably my go-to class outfit.” Yet does the “Vassar Bubble” require a particular dress code? I certainly have noticed that when I return home to Florida, my style changes immensely—and not just because of the rising humidity levels. I find myself living in hot pink tennis skirts and workout sets, while Vassar maintains a certain “dreary Upstate New York” kind of vibe. Lauren believes that their style does not change when they leave campus, but they “definitely don’t always put as much effort into my outfits at home unless I’m going somewhere fun. At Vassar, I feel justified in dressing up on any given day, whereas [in] other places, it feels excessive.”
What is your go-to Gordon Commons outfit? TANNER-MORASH: “By dinner time, I have spent most waking hours in business clothes. However, I will usually switch to some athleisure for the Deece to make it seem like I had the time to go to the gym. Got to keep the student body in check, you know? Also, a hood of some sort is always a perfect accessory for hiding from those people you really do not want to see.” KAUFMAN: “I’m a huge believer in a comfort outfit in the Deece. For me, that’s usually an off-the-shoulder sweater with jeans and Uggs.” EMMA LAWRENCE: Once the clock strikes 6 p.m., it’s time to Deece. Typically, I change from my more put-together class clothes and don my favorite matching sweat-set. You have to be comfy and mobile to dart between The Grill and Sweets, okay? What is your classic class fit? TANNER-MORASH: “Black turtleneck, black dress pants, black riding boots, silver jewelry, blown-out hair and chipped nail polish (because it is classy and French to have one appearance component unfinished of course). Sometimes, I will switch up the jacket.” KAUFMAN: “My classic class outfit is usually a pair of dress pants, white boots and a black top. Throw on a slightly oversized black leather jacket and I’m ready for orgo.” For me, it depends on the season. Recently, I’ve been loving black sheer tights, my trusty Aritzia black skirt, a tight black tee, under-the-knee black boots and my classic jewelry. Oh, and a must for the winter is a thrifted faux-fur coat. Favorite shoes to brave the Nircle (Noy-
House pride: any trends you notice in and around your dorm? TANNER-MORASH: “I feel like Davi [Davison House] residents have the most docile hivemind when it comes to fashion trends. In other dorms—Joss [Josselyn House], for instance—about 20 people can go by and all seem like they are on the same wavelength. In Davi, you will see someone dressed in full cosplay walking next to a Wall Street wannabe.” LAUREN: “I notice people in [Jewett] wearing a lot of elephant pants and flowy clothes.”
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Image courtesy of Charlotte Tanner-Morash ’26.
Image courtesy of Solstice Lauren ’26.
Image courtesy of Erin Kaufman ’26.
February 1, 2024
FEATURES
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ViCE’s Winter Concert warms amid cold temperatures Continued from Soul Glo on page 1 out his music, instead with more melodic vocals and backbeats. Come showtime, attendees stacked their puffer jackets at the Shiva’s doors and quickly hurried into the dimly lit blackbox theater. As opposed to ViCE’s usual outdoor fall and spring concerts, the indoor space fostered a newfound sense of intimacy among concert goers. Many students, including Charlotte Sand ’26 and Leo Valenti ’26, took time to bask in the unfamiliar space. “The new venue was really exciting. I had never been to an indoor ViCE concert, let alone a concert in the Shiva,” Sand recalled. Valenti agreed, stating that “the atmosphere there was amazing. I also think that you have to go into a concert with good intentions to create a good atmosphere as well, so I think my enjoyment was informed by a combination of appreciating both the space and energy.” Blue stage lights poked through the haze of smoke machines, curating a comfortable, positive atmosphere felt by every person in the audience. From the show’s conception and marketing—featuring vibrant posters by talented student artists and a successful social media rollout—to the moments leading up to demahjiae and Soul Glo taking the stage, the care and attention put into the concert by ViCE members and leaders was palpable. Moreover, when leaders Levite and Adae came on moments before the main act, they ensured the crowd’s safety by pointing them to the SAVP (Support, Advocacy and Violence Prevention) tent as well as ViCE members in glow stick necklaces trained in crowd control.
Come showtime, attendees stacked their puffer jackets at the Shiva’s doors and quickly hurried into the dimly lit black-box theater.
There was a sense of gratitude and community in the air, with opening act demahjiae stating that he felt a lot of love from the crowd, even going so far as to personally thank and hug fans. The artist was specifically brought on through the efforts of ViCE Weekly, a sector of the organization run by Wendy Cortez ’25 and Marissa Desir ’25. Adae was particularly happy with how the crowd received this lesser-known artist, stating: “I love it when the artist feels comfortable enough to interact closely with the crowd. demahjiae rapping through the crowd and engaging the audience was lovely. From Ojerme to Isabella Lovestory, ViCE Weekly always brings the friendliest artists.” Once demahjiae exited the stage, a preshow playlist featuring tunes such as Bobby Womack’s “110th Street” played while students chatted gleefully. When Soul Glo entered, however, a low hum settled over the crowd. The band built tension by playing a snare beat that slowly but surely increased in tempo as Jordan stepped up to the front of the stage, gazing out into the crowd. With a jolt, the snare crescendoed and Jordan began singing; the crowd subsequently started to mosh. Pits formed and dissolved, with attendees scream-singing at some points and
When Soul Glo entered, however, a low hum settled over the crowd. swaying at others. A highlight for both the crowd as well as Adae and Levite was when Soul Glo performed their song “Driponomics,” a favorite among both: “we played [Driponomics] when introducing the band to our org. To see some of our members light up to a song they knew was a full circle moment,” Adae mused. Levite agreed, stating: “‘Driponomics’ is one of my favorite songs and it’s so special being able to see the crowd get excited from the literal first moment the song played.” Levite reflected on standing above the stage of the Shiva and seeing the crowd dancing and singing, which was a particularly magical moment for her: “Right as the show began, Kwabena and I went up to the booth and saw truly how many people were there and excited. It’s always hard to tell how many people come to these shows because we are running around making sure everything is running smoothly, but seeing that we were at capacity for a brand new show was one of the best feelings I’ve had in my 2 years working with ViCE.” With the success surrounding the concert, it would not be surprising if ViCE used this space again. It is only with careful planning and lots of love that an organization can pull off such an innovative show. Maude Lehmann ’26, host of ViCE’s radio show, commented that the process was incredibly fun and worthwhile, from the initial planning stages of the concert to bonding with fellow ViCE members over Soul Glo’s music: “I feel like every ViCE meeting is a way for me to learn about music I had never thought about listening to or connecting with others on music I really love.” Levite shared a similar sentiment: “We love our dedicated organization so, so much, and they really made this show the success it was.” With merchandise in hand, students left the concert feeling this newfound appreciation for both the music of the evening and ViCE’s efforts.
Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
FEATURES
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Traveling Continued from Pilsen on page 1 nervous about graduating on time. Plus, I was more homesick than I had anticipated. During Thanksgiving Break, my dad and sisters paid a visit, substituting goulash and apple mousse for turkey and pie. Their updates from home reminded me where I belong. My list included a trip to Pilsen. Pilsner Urquell is to the Czech Republic kind of like what the bald eagle is to America—a symbol of patriotism and unity. It is everywhere. In bars, it is served in a special glass mug embossed with its recognizable drop-cap logo. In souvenir shops, there are dedicated sections for Pilsner-themed undies. We meet our tour guide, Ava, at the station. She is loud and at least six-foot-five. My teacher introduces us: Gus, who is a na-
Pilsner Urquell is to the Czech Republic kind of like what the bald eagle is to America—a symbol of patriotism and unity. tional champion of “Harry Potter,” and also Charlotte. Ava has a thousand questions for Gus about quadball. I listen and feel a little sad that I do not have a hobby I so desperately enjoy that I would seek it out in another country. Like my roommate, who purchased a second hand guitar within the first week of moving in because of how badly she needed to play. Or my classmate and her international Jumping ® Fitness subscription. Ava escorts us through the city. We pass the second-largest synagogue in Europe, a beautiful Romantic-meets-neo-Renaissance building with two red onion domes, and the JK Tyl theater, which is hosting a musical about Billy Elliot. Once we reach the St. Bartholomew Cathedral, Ava beckons us toward the gate, as if she is about to reveal a great secret. The gate is decorated with a series of baby angel heads, one polished to a shiny, silver blob. Rubbing the angel’s head is supposed to bring luck. “I see many school children here before math tests,” she explains. We enter the cathedral and climb the bell
to
Pilsen,
tower. The staircase is almost too tight to walk through. Dizzying. I count 301 steps. Why they did not make it an even 300, I do not know. Ava tells me that all medieval spiral staircases, if they were built by someone intelligent, follow a clockwise direction. This way, invaders would have a difficult time using their swords, because the pillar would get in the way—unless, of course, the invaders were left-handed. Pressing my forehead against the protective gate, I gaze down at the Republic Square. It was first paved in the 14th century. At this point, I am familiar with my bewilderment over the Czech Republic’s age. Everywhere I go has some centuries-old history—even my classrooms are in a medieval castle adjacent to a 10th century fort. Quite different from home, which is constantly tearing itself down and reinventing. The view is gorgeous. The orange roofs. The small people perusing the seasonal Christmas market, like ants flocking to crumbs. I feel a little emotional, though the tears in my eyes are from the winter wind. There are so many people besides me doing things right now and it is beautiful. After lunch, we begin the main part of our tour: the brewery. Gus and I store our coats in a locker, then immediately regret it. Cold. Damp. Our first stop is the bottle factory. Ava knows everyone, seems to love everyone—is certainly loved by everyone. Her cheerful voice reaches across the open lobby, hitting the ears of the desk clerk and triggering a bright smile. From an observation deck, Gus and I watch hundreds of bottles pass along a conveyor belt for quality inspection. Slinking and clinking together, they look like a mechanical sea anemone. Something is amiss—workers are flying around the room from one table to another, messing with knobs and buttons. It is like that episode of “I Love Lucy,” the one with the chocolate factory, but in real life. Pilsner comes in green bottles which, technically, is wrong, says Ava. All other beer companies sell their beer in brown bottles to prevent photooxidation. “But green looks better,” she shrugs, and anyway, we should really only drink from the tap, that is the real stuff. I do not believe in sommeliers, but hearing Ava talk about flavor is oddly touching. All that passion in her voice. When she teaches me how to sample the unfiltered beer—examine the color,
thinking
February 1, 2024
of
home
Charlotte Robertson/The Miscellany News. smell it, hold the carbonation on my tongue and search for that taste of caramel—I obey without mocking. The underground cellars are covered floor-to-ceiling with moisture. One particularly slippery day, Ava was guiding a large group, and one of her clients, an elderly man in a wheelchair, sped down the ramp at the speed of a rollercoaster. “Don’t worry, he loved it,” she assures me and Gus. Everything about the brewing process follows tradition, including the barrels in which the beer is stored. In fact, the Czech Republic is one of the only places in Europe
It is like that episode of ‘I Love Lucy,’ the one with the chocolate factory, but in real life.
to maintain the craft of coopering, or the hand-manufacturing of barrels. Ava lets me plunge my hands into a barrel of bar-
ley. The cereal slides through my fingers delightfully, and my skin comes out softer than before, due to the presence of lysine, which encourages the production of collagen. She also tricks me and Gus into tasting the ground hops, which leave a bitterness in the back of my throat for several minutes. Perhaps my biggest takeaway from the field trip was that, for a country so proud of its beer, the Czech Republic does well in accommodating those who do not like or abstain from alcohol. The “Mliko pour” contains mostly foam, with just a sliver of beer at the bottom. And in 2020, nonalcoholic beers comprised 7.3 percent of the country’s yearly beer production. For a country as small as the Czech Republic, beer brewing is an art form, a means of both preserving and uplifting culture; however a person engages in that culture is a matter of choice. As the rosy light of sunset gushes over the brewery, our group walks to the train. I fall asleep, as I do. When I awake, Ava is gone. Like I had imagined her. I regret not telling her goodbye. In my purse, I cram two tinfoil-wrapped chicken breasts—that “extra lunch” to which my teacher earlier alluded—and wish Gus luck for his tournament. Bizarre day.
Charlotte Robertson/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
February 1, 2024
HUMOR
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Breaking News From the desk of Nicholas Tillinghast, Humor Editor
Guy wearing Vassar shirt saves everyone who forgot what school they go to New Hack: Vassar’s eternal punishment to art students Nicholas Tillnghast Modern-day Job
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ew Hackensack (or “New Hack” for those who are suffering) follows the adage that just because you can put a class in a building that is technically a part of campus, it doesn’t mean you should. I am convinced that there are still large swaths of campus that have never even heard of this building, unaware that life exists past the SoCos. The name certainly doesn’t help. Whenever I tell my mother “I walked all the way to New Hackensack,” my mother will inevitably believe I trekked two towns over for a class, which, though wrong, is not far off. I remember when I finished taking “Analog Photography,” my first class at New Hackensack, thinking, “Well, that was a crazy trip for a semester hahaha. Glad I never have to do that again.” Two semesters later and I’ve enrolled in classes in New Hackensack three semesters in a row now. How foolish can I be? Like most studio art losers, I started making art at Vassar in Ely Hall taking Drawing I and II. While admittedly kind of a dingy art-making space in its own right, Ely Hall gets credit for being in the heart of campus and having large windows. Drawing class gives students a false sense that the college provides decent buildings for studio art classes, but if you get into painting, photography or any type of digital art, get ready to spend LOTS of time in the void that is New Hackensack. Not only is New Hackensack on the outskirts of campus, the Art Department splits the building with Security, one of the strangest collaborations to ever have been dreamt up and executed. That’s like if the MoMa was in a corner of the Pentagon. It’s like putting up posters for RFK Jr.’s presidential run at Vassar. It’s like JPEGMAFIA linking up with Kanye. It just doesn’t make any sense, and yet two out
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. of three of those are real. The first time I went to New Hackensack I was naturally confused, as the only identifiable signage on the building on the facade is a sign for Security. I thought, “Alright, well if I enter through there I can surely get to the art classes portion, right?” I was informed by security inside that the Art and Security sections had essentially walled each other off and that the side door to the building was how you got to the art classes. Ah, I should have understood things right there. New Hackensack:
the only building on campus where the main door is the side. Another fun fact about New Hackensack is that it used to be a nursery school. That might sound inconsequential, but it is painfully obvious that the building was not designed for education. There are all these strange closets everywhere with bright green walls, the photography room was clearly converted from an industrial kitchen and colored tiles litter the walkways like an old Chuck E. Cheese. There’s a fair argument that if there were
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
any building on campus in which to slather oil paint on the furniture and stain the floors with film developer, this is the place to do it I guess, but why did it have to be this building? Why couldn’t they let art students tear up Ferry House? You can’t tell me anyone is actually fond of that building. Put an art class on the third floor of the Deece. I would take literally any place closer. New Hackensack is the Pluto of campus, the New Zealand of Vassar maps, frequently cut off in images. Taking any class immediately after a New Hackensack one feels like some kind of wicked timed gameshow. I’m trekking from New Hack to Rocky in ten minutes twice a week and feel like death every time I get to my Poli Sci class. Why don’t you just drop the class at New Hackensack, Nick? Or the class after? Well, here’s the thing: I don’t drop classes, even if there is ample reason to do so and almost no incentive for me to continue to take the class or if I think I might enjoy a different class more. For me the grass is never greener. It is at best about the same level of greenness, or less green, or is greener now but will get frostbitten the next week. I just don’t change classes mid-semester. I was talking to a friend the other day who was telling me about a class he dropped and he said, “I was out when they had us comparing chairs for like twenty minutes.” I wish I had that kind of discretion. The worst part was that I knew the class he was talking about because I took the class, and I can tell you that 20 minutes of chair comparison was just the tip of the iceberg. Still, I didn’t drop the class. What if the class I took instead had 40 minutes of chair comparison? Or 60? What if some greater hell than New Hackensack exists on campus just waiting for me to discover it? Studio art students can’t be the only losers this college is punishing.
HUMOR
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February 1, 2024
Library phone call measured as loudest sound in history Benjamin Savel Sounding off
“W
HAATTTT!?!?” “No, I can’t hear YOU!” On Jan. 27, 2024, scientists watched in awe as the loudest sound ever produced in the last 200,000 years was created inside the Vassar library. The sound, emitted by student Nathaniel O. B. Streperous ’26, was the opening sentence of his three-hour phone call at a table in the library’s south wing. Clocking in at approximately 475 decibels, the phone call topped the hydrogen bomb, the Krakatoa volcano eruption and a recent intergalactic supernova as the loudest sound in recorded history. Streperous says he is now referring to the Big Bang as just “the bang” after this incident. Asked for comment, Streperous said he made the phone call specifically when students were studying their hardest. “I walked around the library and saw that students
Streperous says he is now referring to the Big Bang as just “the bang” after this incident. had finally stopped checking their phones for a couple minutes. That’s when I made the phone call that would redefine sound as we know it.” The U.N. has condemned Streperous’ move, stating that it was likely a violation of the Geneva Conventions. But the U.N. could only provide a tentative statement because no one at the G20 Summit could hear each other after Streperous’ phone call. Streperous has assured The Miscellany News that he was whispering. “I was being super quiet! There’s no way anyone could have heard me.” But geological equipment has shown otherwise. The call was picked up by seismom-
Images courtesy of Benjamin Savel ’26 and Wikimedia Commons / Modified from originals. eters in California, India and Australia, and triggered warnings for inhabitants of all three locations to take shelter. The call was also so loud that it was heard by astronauts in space, despite the fact that there is no sound in space. Scientist A. S. Tonished postulated that air molecules were desperately trying to flee the library and accidentally made it into orbit, carrying Streperous’ sound in the process. “It’s most likely that the air molecules, like every student at Vassar, were trying to
run away from the library phone call as fast as possible.” Asked for an explanation for why he didn’t go to the conversation section of the library or book one of the College’s free, private reservable rooms, Streperous explained that this was the only possible place where he could have made the call. “There was nowhere else on Vassar’s 1,000-acre campus where I could make this call besides the table right next to you at the library.”
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Asked for his plans for the future after the legendary incident, Streperous says he’s excited by his new fame but doesn’t intend to change much about his lifestyle. “Considering I broke an interplanetary record of noise levels, I do wish I could transfer to a house on Vassar campus that looks like it came from another planet and was named after a loud sound,” he stated. “I think it’s time for me to make some Noyes.”
February 1, 2024
HUMOR
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Founder’s Day Muppet theme suppresed for 138th time Oliver Stewart Highly Kermitted
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t 3:09 p.m. on Sunday, Jan. 21, Vassar Student Association (VSA) President Olivia Gross ‘24 sent out an email informing students that “Medieval Fairytale” had been selected as the theme for this year’s Founder’s Day. The announcement was met with muted fanfare; after years of campaigning and widespread public support, the general impression of the student body was that this year, at long last, the theme “Muppets” had done enough to be chosen. “I guess I’ll be a mushroom princess,” one student said glumly. “At this point, I don’t know what I’m doing keeping this Fozzie Bear costume around,” sighed another. “Maybe it’s just not meant to be.” Others reacted to the news with confusion. “Everyone I talked to voted for the Muppets theme,” one junior said. “How could this be?” Exactly how would become clear all too soon. In the wee hours of Monday morning, an anonymous figure within the administration—known only by the handle SWDSHCHF—shared a trove of documents and emails, totalling two terabytes, with The Miscellany News, detailing a decades-long conspiracy to suppress the election of “Muppets” as the Founder’s Day theme. Although the email itself appeared to be written in some kind of uncrackable cipher, the documents themselves paint a vivid picture of a shadowy web of lies, implicating figures including every President of the College for the last 138 years and noted Vassar alumna Meryl Streep. “Hurdy gurdy gurdy gur,” the email read. “Erbledy gur-bur; føndërs derbledy herveroofuounders de zeeme-a meepet cuon gu oun nu lungerdy. Bork bork bork!” Shockingly, according to the trove of documents, the suppression began before Found-
er’s Day had themes—and before Muppets creator Jim Henson was born. An 1892 telegram, addressed to then-College President James Monroe Taylor, stated the following: STUDENTS AGITATING FOR FNDRS DAY MUPPET THEME STOP UNCLEAR WHAT IS MUPPET STOP APPEARS NEFARIOUS STOP CALL IN PINKERTON AND CO TO QUELL UNREST STOP The sender of the telegram is currently unknown, but what is clear is that the anti-Muppet theme conspiracy goes far, far deeper than was previously thought possible. A 1948 letter to President of the College Sarah Gibson Blanding, written before the theme for that year’s Founder’s Day was selected, sheds further light on the situation. It has been edited lightly for clarity and grammar, and reads as follows: Sarah — I will be brief, as the urgency of the situation demands it. Vassar College is in grave danger. I have recently been made aware of a movement to select “Muppits” [sic] as the theme for this year’s Founder’s Day. I am not at liberty to go into further detail, but it is absolutely imperative that you put a stop to this posthaste. The best way to quieten these disturbing tremors is to select in its place a riveting, modern theme, sure to satisfy the desires of the students; I suggest “fedoras,” “holes in socks” or “abstinence.” Act rapidly, and in absolute secrecy. Yours, [illegible] That year’s Founder’s Day theme was eventually declared “Fedora Day,” and the suppression of the “Muppets” theme continued unabated. The creation of the Muppets in 1955, and the 1976 television premiere of “The Muppet Show,” added to calls for a Muppet-themed Founder’s Day, but they also served to strengthen the resolve of the
anti-Muppet forces. A 1976 diary entry from College President Alan Smith clearly illustrates this phenomenon: SEPTEMBER 19, 1976 Watched new so-called Muppet show with Trustees. The little green man sends shivers down my spine. It is clear to me that the threat we face is greater than ever before, yet never have I felt such clarity of purpose. We must be strong. Muppets will never be F.D. theme. Mackerel for dinner, again. Must talk to cook. After that, there is a gap of 11 years in the documents; the next entry is a missive from Vassar graduate Meryl Streep ‘71 to College President Frances D. Ferguson. In the letter, Streep—incensed by her portrayal on Sesame Street as the character “Meryl Sheep”—entreats Ferguson to quash the movement for a Muppet theme by any means necessary. More recently, as Founder’s Day theme selection has been democratized, the documents show
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that the administration has been interfering in VSA elections and the Founder’s Day committee selection process, running underhanded campaigns against pro-Muppet candidates and financially supporting their opponents. The latest suppression campaign against the “Muppets” theme is perhaps the most brazen. The leaked emails reveal that “Muppets” was by far the most popular theme, receiving 1206 votes to 55 for “Medieval Fairytale” and none for the other options. Despite this resounding victory, however, the Founder’s Day powers-that-be once again opted to suppress the will of the people, consigning the Muppet-loving masses to another year of drudgery and profound despair. Yet despite all this, some Muppet-theme campaigners are still holding out hope. “Someday, we’ll find it,” one said. “The rainbow connection; the lovers, the dreamers and me.”
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News.
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Journaling Lev Winickoff Opinions Editor
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he type of journaling that self-help books recommend is the kind that tells you you are not good enough as you are, and that you really need to practice more “self-care.” It instructs you to go buy a nice leather notebook in a color that you like or a pretty pen that you designate as your journaling pen. If this is what it takes for you to start journaling, and you can afford it, then I agree with the selfhelp book: go buy a pen and notebook. I was introduced to journaling when I was 10 in the form of a gift from a well-meaning
When I journaled I kept myself company, but beyond that, I kept the company of a more objective me that was better at listening and endlessly patient. relative. It was a fairy-themed activity book that guided me through prompts like, “If you had a million dollars, what would you buy?” The title was something abrasive like, “My Special Secret Diary,” so it was impossible for
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me to take it anywhere or even be seen with it. The media told me that a diary was a place for a girl to write about her crushes, and books I read early on only reinforced this: If a girl wrote things about her life it was secret letters to all the boys she had ever loved or an anonymous blog in which she thirsted over someone she wanted to kiss. What was the purpose of writing if not to provide an outlet for forbidden feminine desire? I found it in that fairy-themed book. I wrote in it frequently until I started playing competitive soccer and did not have time for anything else. When I rediscovered journaling, it was because I needed it desperately. I needed it in the same way someone needs therapy, which I probably would have done instead except that I was working alone on a mountain all summer with no service. During my first stint of 11 days on the mountain, I had probably talked to three people total. I spent the time freezing in my sleeping bag or dragging myself around the campsite to do the work I was being paid to do, which included chopping down hazard trees, clearing drainages and stirring the composting toilet before sticking my hands in the stream and crawling right back into my sleeping bag. I did not feel human. I was 18 and slowly realizing that I had not had a clear idea of who I was since middle school, the kind of realization that you can only come to after being so shockingly alone. Who was I when I was not in the presence of the people who I
worth
thought knew me? I finished the first 11 days of that job and stumbled down the mountain, defeated, to
Labeling emotions and acknowledging traumatic events is something that journaling and traditional talk therapy have in common. meet with my boss. He told me to sit down, and handed me a blank book and a pen. “Bring this up with you, and every day, write in it. Something you’re grateful for, or what you’re thinking about, it doesn’t matter. Trust me,” he said, “I did your job for years, and this is all you need sometimes to get through.” It was almost infuriating to me that he was suggesting what seemed like a placebo strategy for making myself feel better. It felt like the opposite of what I needed—I needed someone sitting up there with me, validating me when I said it was too cold to do anything and that I had feelings and that I was lonely. He was a very perceptive man, and I was not so good at hiding my despair. “You’ve got to figure out what works for you
February 1, 2024
your
time
and the only way to do that is to get to know yourself.” He nodded at the journal. “Just bring it up with you and try it.” So I did, and just like he said, it helped. When I journaled I kept myself company, but beyond that, I kept the company of a more objective me that was better at listening and endlessly patient. Since then, I have been journaling at least once every few days. It forces me to narrate my life to some extent, which usually helps me discern how I feel about things. Self awareness is an active process of understanding my brain, and it takes work. I have to first recognize my negative thought patterns in order to change them, and I have to change them in order to be okay by myself. By being “okay by myself” I am referring to a deep feeling of stability and independence. I am not the only one who has been so affected by journaling. According to The New York Times, labeling emotions and acknowledging traumatic events is something that journaling and traditional talk therapy have in common. These strategies have a known positive effect on people. The article also discussed the measurable impact of journaling on memory, sleep and immune health. With the stress that everyone is facing in college and the constant noise of everyday life that makes it so difficult for many people to get a word in with themselves, journaling can be indispensable. It may not work for everyone who tries it, but the girls that get it get it.
The Emmys are out of touch post-writers’ strike Jyotsna Naidu Guest Columnist
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he 75th Primetime Emmy Awards were out of touch. The television award ceremony set to air in September was postponed four months due to joint SAG-AFTRA union and WGA union strikes for improved labor conditions. Yet, when the ceremony finally occurred on Jan. 15, the strike was mentioned only once in an acceptance speech by Sofia Manfredi, and the speech failed to capture the immense scale of the labor strike. While the delay of the Emmys was forced by the strikes, the strides made in labor rights may not last in future negotiations without institutional recognition. In a post-strike era of television, the Emmys fail to hold their relevance. I think that viewers cannot sit through another glitzy award ceremony with the strikes forcing viewers to acknowledge the problems of the industry. Since 2013, the television award show has faced declining viewership, reaching an all-time low of 4.3 million viewers this year. The network faced competition with the concurrent streaming of the Iowa Caucus and an NFL playoff game, with over 33 million viewers combined. If the Emmys are not able to stay relevant, they will die out. I think if the Emmys addressed their own political limitations by paying homage to the efforts of the unions, only then could they fully celebrate the awardees and increase viewership. Furthermore, the growing power of streaming services has dominated the Emmys at the expense of labor conditions. Streaming privileges the continuous, excess generation of content to attract more subscribers. HBO, through a subscriber-focused model, has led Emmy wins for 17 out of the past 20 years, according to The Washington Post, with “Succession” having six wins this year alone. Only recently, due to dwindling viewership, did streaming services look to maximize profits through cost-cutting moves of reducing the amount of shows ordered per
year, canceling existing shows and conducting mass layoffs. With a renewed focus on quality content to attract subscribers, more streaming services are now invested in winning the Emmys. This year, the highest portion of show nominations, 27 out of the 41, were from streaming services. The Emmys hold a position to affect the future of streaming on labor negotiations but their complicity to address their own powers preserves the growing power of streaming, rather than the Television Academy, to recognize television’s bests. Still, the majority of Emmy nominations being dominated by streaming services is representative of the primary contention of the strike: How are writers to be compensated for streaming views? Streaming prior to the agreement did not compensate actors based on the increase in viewership. Profits due to the work of actors would go toward the streaming service. Thus, the joint strike of the writers’ and actors’ unions sought fair compensation. Streaming negotiations made progress in providing a bonus, but not a percentage of the profits. While the four-month-long strike limited the production and profits of streaming services in the short term, streaming debates over time and through union negotiations will continue to define the fate of production.
Viewers cannot sit through another glitzy award ceremony with the strikes forcing viewers to acknowledge the problems of the industry. Looking at the Emmys as a yearly signal of where recognition lies in the television industry, it is clear that the union won, given the impact on voting and delayed production. The show that used to precede the fall to spring schedule commonplace in cable tele-
vision now aired during awards season, with the Golden Globes a week prior and the Oscar nominations released soon after, in line with the flexible schedule of streaming. The Emmys are centered on writers delivering content and, due to the strikes, the production was halted, along with reconsidering the recognition processes of writers. According to SAG-AFTRA union law, members are not allowed to promote their own projects during a strike. Thus, while Emmy nominations occurred during the strikes, writers and actors could not take advantage of the influx of media attention, and nominations were ideally based purely on the quality of the show. But next year, the Emmys have little incentive to continue to listen to their writers outside the strikes and failing to address these politics will further their decline. The lack of diversity in the Emmys is outdated and viewers are dropping in suit. While an increasing number of winners are people of color, seven out of 20 this year, still nearly 75 percent of the voting population of the Television Academy is white. The Emmys need to diversify not only their nominations but the Academy itself, where control over nominations rests. Recognition of select diverse voices at discretion of the Academy cannot suffice the pressing need for broader systemic change or become obsolete. Host Anthony Anderson, former “Blackish” lead, delivered a lively monologue focused on celebration coupled with a song, yet lacked any direct mention of the strikes that postponed the award show itself. His hosting also occurred right after the Golden Globes, where host Jo Koy’s off-color comments on “Barbenheimer” were badly received, I believe adding to Anderson’s perceived need to not provoke any criticism. “With our industry’s recent challenges behind us, we can get back to what we love— dressing up and honoring ourselves,” Anderson delivered, in reference to the strikes. Anderson’s attempt to toe the line of political correctness by alluding to the strikes instead of making the reference explicit makes clear
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
the institutional priorities to simply celebrate without acknowledgement.
The Emmys hold a position to affect the future of streaming on labor negotiations but their complicity to address their own powers preserves the growing power of streaming, rather than the Television Academy, to recognize television’s bests. The Emmys and award shows can be and have been political. The 2015 Golden Globes publicized the burgeoning Bill Cosby allegations, political satire dominated in the wake of Donald Trump’s election as president in the 2017 Emmys and voted to permanently bar Harvey Weinstein from the Television Academy. The question the Emmys must address now is if the writers strikes and labor issues are worth political attention in their next installment. Both television and the people who produce it deserve free expression and recognition for their work. The 75th Emmys lacked cultural relevance and failed to balance the scales of power of streaming. But looking ahead, the increase of delayed shows such as “Stranger Things” and “Euphoria,” as a result of the labor strikes, will force viewers to be acutely aware of the writers’ strike in their viewing experience long after the strike has ended. If the power structures underlying the rise of streaming are not contended with further in the Emmys and in equitable union negotiations, oversight will only grow over which stories are told, limiting what viewers may watch.
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Wearing a mask in certain situations is still necessary Sufana Noorwez Senior Editor
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his winter brought another spike in COVID-19 cases, among many other respiratory illnesses. While it now seems that COVID-19 has largely faded into the backdrop of our collective conscience, many people are still getting infected, some are still being hospitalized with the illness and others are still dying. To me, COVID-19 represents one of our most prominent public health failures, at least in recent history. There are many reasons to which this failure can be attributed, but I believe that one of the biggest reasons is that we do not care about each other. It is no secret that the United States has an individualist culture; care for others is not necessarily built into our values and practices, and so it is unsurprising that we, as a community, decided to move on from COVID-19 even though it was actively infecting many people. We have a serious blindness when it comes to issues that affect other people. When it comes to issues that do not affect us personally, it is easy to fall into complacency. We have seen this trend with many illnesses and public health issues over the years; AIDS was not considered an important issue until many gay activists pushed for national recognition, did their own research and increased their presence in the public sphere. Now, while HIV/AIDS still affects many people worldwide, there are effective treatments and therapies which greatly improve the quality of life for those affected by the disease. COVID-19 is not analogous to HIV/AIDS for a number of reasons, but one of the main reasons is that COVID-19 affects many people differently. In fact, for healthy, immunocompetent people, it usually passes as just a severe cold, nothing to be considered seriously. This is the primary issue with COVID-19 and people’s awareness of the effects it has; people think that because it does not seriously affect them personally, it does not seriously affect
anyone. However, this is far from the case. People who are immunocompromised in any way—who may have immune system defects that prevent them from fighting off simple infections—are infected more severely with COVID-19 and can develop symptoms that put them at greater risk of hospitalization and death. Thus it stands that there is a significant part of the population that cannot afford to be infected with COVID-19. However, in a lot of mainstream chatter surrounding the disease and its effects, these people are not mentioned and their health and safety not seriously considered. Another issue that is often overlooked is the fact that repeat infection with COVID-19 actually puts healthy, immunocompetent people at a higher risk of developing serious health issues, such as kidney disease, organ failure, diabetes and others, according to the American Medical Association. For those of us who have had COVID-19, which at this point, is a majority, we could possibly be increasing our likelihood of developing serious, life-threatening health issues. If we cannot find it in ourselves to care about COVID-19 for the sake of other people, we should at least think, somewhat selfishly, about how it will affect our own health. So the question remains, what can we do to show more care toward each other, in times of high COVID-19 prevalence? The easiest answer is an unpopular one: wear a mask, especially if you are sick in any way. It has been shown, over and over again, to help prevent the spread of COVID-19. I understand that we are in a cultural moment where mask wearing is not popular. I understand that it is not the most comfortable thing in the world. I understand that it is a matter of personal choice. My intention is not to shame people for the decisions that they make about their own body, but simply to reflect a moment longer on what the consequences could be if the worst happens. I do not even ask that we wear masks all the time. If you are healthy and feel that there is little chance that you are infected
with COVID-19, you are much less likely to be spreading the illness, although asymptomatic transmission is still a possibility. However, if you are feeling sick in any way, if you are experiencing symptoms of any illness, I ask that you at least consider wearing a mask in public spaces. When you are coughing and sneezing, you are much more likely to be actively shedding viral particles which will pass the infection onto people who may not be so fortunate as to recover well from the disease. In fact, masks are the most effective when those with COVID-19 are the ones wearing them. So if there is any chance, even small, that what you have could be COVID-19, or even that it could be infectious, I ask that you consider masking up in public spaces. I do not mean to suggest that I am a perfect mask-wearer. If you see me around campus, there are many situations in which I find that the risk of being infected with COVID-19 is pretty low, and I forgo the mask, especially in small social situations where I know everyone is personally comfortable if I do not wear a mask. However, in some situations where that kind of a guarantee is impossible, I have found myself masking more and more often, such as classes or big crowds. It is impossible for me to know if the people in these settings have health issues that put them at a higher risk of COVID-19 infection and complication, or if people in larger settings themselves might be infected and choose to not mask. In these cases, I find that the personal risk is not worth the slight discomfort I feel when wearing a mask. This strategy has been termed “strategic masking” by Yale Medicine, and I ask that we all consider it this winter. A personal anecdote is less effective than data-driven scientific research, but strategic masking has helped me before. When I got COVID-19 in April 2023, I had attended a large scientific conference, possibly the largest gathering I had attended since the beginning of the pandemic. Because I knew that this was a risky situation COVID-19-wise, I decided to mask for the entirety of the conference. Of
course there were situations in which I did not mask, such as when I was eating. However, I still ended up getting COVID-19. I have
For those of us who have had COVID-19, which at this point, is a majority, we could possibly be increasing our likelihood of developing serious, life-threatening health issues. no way of knowing whether this is true, but I suspect that I got it from someone who was not masking and who was infected, given that most people at the conference did not mask. In this situation, wearing a mask did not help me much. However, I continued to wear a mask throughout the conference, even after I developed symptoms, throughout my journey home, and after I came back to campus, despite the fact that I was testing negative. I decided that because I had symptoms I was going to keep the mask on, even though it did not seem that I had COVID-19. Lo and behold, five days after I returned, I finally tested positive. But because I had decided to keep my mask on throughout that time period, I did not infect anyone (that I know of); none of my housemates or my close friends ended up getting sick. Although it was unfortunate that someone’s decision to forgo a mask resulted in my own illness, I was at least able to prevent spreading that illness beyond myself. It came at a low personal cost to myself. All I had to do was wear a mask for a few days, which was a little annoying. But I would have never stopped feeling guilty had I spread the sickness to others, and for that I am glad that I made the choices that I made.
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
SPORTS
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February 1 , 2024
Super Bowl rematch between familiar rivals set Henry France Columnist
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our years ago, the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers faced off in Super Bowl LIV in a showdown that saw the Chiefs mount a comeback down 10 points halfway through the fourth quarter with 21 unanswered points. The Chiefs won by a score of 31-20. This year, the two squads will face off once again, but will this outcome be any different? The Chiefs entered the playoffs as a dark horse to try for a Super Bowl. But, as they head into their fourth title game appearance in the last five seasons, we might be witnessing the construction of a dynasty. Meanwhile, the 49ers are back for blood. After having the Vince Lombardi trophy ripped from their grip in 2020, the team is steadfast in their mission to win their first championship in 30 years. But before we break down this upcoming matchup, let us look back at how these teams fared last weekend in their conference championship games. Led by another phenomenal performance from quarterback Patrick Mahomes, the Kansas City Chiefs continued to assert their dominance. The Chiefs scored 17 points in the first half and did not score at all in the second half. Nevertheless, their defense stayed strong and held the Ravens to a mere field goal after their first half touchdown. Mahomes was efficient,
NBA
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Allen Hale Arts Editor
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totalling 241 passing yards with almost half coming from Travis Kelce, who had 11 receptions, 116 yards and a touchdown. But, it was Kansas City’s defense that won the game on Sunday night. The Baltimore Ravens were held to just five first downs in the first half, less than half of the 10.6 they averaged per half during the regular season. The Ravens posted a 75-yard drive at the onset of the game, but totaled just 33 more yards in the first half—this lackluster performance was primarily due to Baltimore’s inability to get the run game going, totalling 81 total rushing yards. In San Francisco, the Detroit Lions jumped out to a two-touchdown lead early on due to sloppy play from the 49ers that included a missed field goal from rookie kicker Jake Moody. Early in the second quarter, however, San Francisco got rolling as running back Christian McCaffery posted his 24th touchdown this season for the Niners. The 49ers could not be stopped once they got going. San Francisco is less explosive than the Chiefs, but the former summoned a critical move when they came back from down 17 points. This win was not without a couple of lucky moments. A lackluster coaching job from Lions head coach Dan Campbell led to two late game fourth down tries when Detroit could have elected to kick a three-point field goal. Neither fourth down try was successful, and the Lions lost by three.
fter a years-long hiatus, I have begun following the NBA again. Although I always enjoyed playing and watching the sport, basketball lost my attention in recent years due to a variety of factors, including my lack of free time. In surprising fashion, the Association has recently regained my dedication and interest for a reason largely unrelated to the game itself: the persistent hilarity of meme culture surrounding all aspects of the NBA. Growing up in Massachusetts, my early access to sports was mostly filtered through available television networks. The consistent dominance of the New England Patriots made for a highly rewarding viewing experience, despite my family’s unfamiliar background. We often gathered on Sundays to watch games with our family friends, many of whom were longtime, die-hard fans; all of this emboldened my developing sense of personal support and enjoyment. At home, I regularly tuned into cable programs like ESPN’s “SportsCenter” and the New England Sports Network (NESN). However, my parents decided to axe our cable subscription in favor of streaming services when I was 12, leaving me within the confines of local broadcasts. Despite the Patriots remaining easily accessible, the loss of NESN meant I could no longer watch hometown teams like the Boston Bruins, Boston Red Sox and Boston Celtics. An overall lack of sports programming damaged my keen interest in news and commentary, as I lacked analogously engaging alternatives to these shows. As I grew older, my general interests naturally drifted away from sports, save for the Patriots. I no longer checked ESPN’s website for statistics, I declined joining fantasy football leagues and I stopped reading books related to the subject. By my freshman year of college, the NFL was the only league I cared or knew anything substantial about. When I returned home during the summer of 2022, I found that this was not the case for others.
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Although we had always talked about football, a number of my friends were now arranging our plans around viewing the Celtics’ 2022 playoff run. Whenever we were bored, the games made for an easy pretext to grab dinner and hang out, a collective experience that has reawakened my past excitement for the sport. After the Celtics’ season ended in a 2-4 loss during the 2022 NBA Finals against
Various successes, miseries, personal beefs and more all congealed into a mass, multi-media campaign demanding my recognition, a popcultural zeitgeist which even bled into the memeings of unrelated fandoms. the Golden State Warriors, I had been keyed back into the world of professional basketball, although my full attention had not yet been won over. Around the same time of these experiences, an odd trend began appearing across my social media accounts. Perhaps it was simply algorithms recommending NBA content, or maybe just something akin to the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. Regardless, I began to receive a steady stream of memes and news related to the Association, only increasing in quantity as the next season began. My engagement with these posts only increased their presence across various apps. Humorous personalities, in-group jokes and numerous mishaps established talented players as distinctly exciting characters, a collective fiction shared between millions of viewers. Although this is true of any professional sports organization, the NBA’s fans have elevated this aspect to be just as entertaining as the
When the Chiefs and the 49ers meet in Las Vegas, we can expect to see a couple of things, but most importantly, a game that should come down to the final whistle. ESPN’s Pro Football Index (PFI) predicted San Fransisco to win 59 percent of the time by an average of 3.1 points. The two key deciding factors on Super Bowl Sunday will be whether or not Kansas City’s defense can maintain the loaded Niners offense, and whether or not the Chiefs can stay tight on offense—during the regular season the Chiefs were tied for seventh in turnovers, second for offensive penalties, and led the league in dropped passes. Kansas City’s mission will be made more difficult in the shadow of myriad injuries. Kansas City has achieved a deep playoff run due to Patrick Mahomes’ clutch playoff performances, but this play was not consistent with how he performed during the regular season. Mahomes posted a poor regular season performance—of course relative to his past seasons—ranking 19th in quarterback rating on passing plays. Mahomes is special, though, because of what he does outside of pure passing. In 2023, he had the second best sack avoiding rate only behind Josh Allen, scrambling incredibly well. If the Chiefs struggle to stay tight and smart on offense or cannot maintain San Francisco on defense, things may get out of control quickly for Kansas City. Although, San Francisco is not without its faults. On paper,
reengages game itself. Even as a distant supporter, this content was seemingly inescapable. Despite watching an extremely small portion of actual games, I was able to connect with others by joking about the Association’s convoluted state of affairs, continually reinforcing my peripheral engagement. I specifically love the flexibility of Bleacher Report’s brief quotations graphics because of their ability to be deployed within a variety of settings. Other media favorites include Stephen A. Smith’s belligerent commentary and the banter of “Inside the NBA,” a program in which the analysts bounce off of each other’s knowledge and personalities perfectly. Even the league’s current stars have continually engaged me in this manner. My favorites included the memeing of LeBron James’ goofier moments— including times where he appeared to lie without reason—and the nonchalant, salaryman disposition of Nikola Jokić, who treated the game he excelled at like a nine-to-five job. Other notable entry points for me included Kawhi Leonard’s coy, quiet demeanor and Kevin Durant’s witty internet persona. As with any sporting product, the NBA monetarily benefits from making its non-competitive elements engaging to both casual and dedicated fans alike. While related quips could be made about any professional league’s happenings, the NBA’s exceedingly dramatic flair has made for an excellent comic basis that is yet to be outshined by any other sport’s online following. Acquiring the language necessary to understand ingroup comedy makes one feel at home with complete strangers, a parasocial relation especially present among those who support the same team and players. The sensationalized fan discourse around the Association’s events make its stakes seem larger-than-life, especially in conjunction with the aforementioned strength of player and media personalities. Similarly, storylines like the Detroit Pistons’ historic losing streak make the Association feel akin to narrative television. Various successes, miseries, personal beefs and more all congealed into a mass, multi-media campaign demanding my recognition, a
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
the team looks fantastic: The team is loaded with stars, leading the league in all pro selections. The Bay Area team, however, finds themselves exposed in the heart of it all: their quarterback. Brock Purdy has been in playoff situations before, but none as daunting as the Super Bowl. Chiefs head coach Andy Reid is certain to apply the pressure early on to San Francisco’s mediocre O-line. If Purdy cannot manage his excellent surrounding unit under the heat of the Chiefs, this game will crown Mahomes once again and make for another cruel summer for 49ers fans.
Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
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pop-cultural zeitgeist which even bled into the memeings of unrelated fandoms. As I began to truly immerse myself in the sport, my summer return home in 2023 coincided with another Celtics playoff series, ending in a heartbreaking 3-4 Eastern Conference Finals loss to the Miami Heat. My friends and I would regularly recite and repurpose common memes as a way of enjoying the sport in each others’ company, turning the game into a bonding activity for our friend group. People uninterested in the sport itself expressed their fascination with NBA to me through comic mediums; one of my friends remarked on his enjoyment of various characters and plots the league had to offer, despite him being underwhelmed by basketball’s actual gameplay. With the 2023-2024 season underway, I have started to consistently watch Celtics’ games and follow the league’s standings. Of course, this cannot entirely be the result of Instagram Reels and X filling my timeline with the NBA. The Celtics are a fixture among my friends both at home and at Vassar, something bolstered by their excellent performances within recent seasons. In addition, I genuinely enjoy the viewing aspect of basketball itself, a groundwork laid by my childhood TV consumption and teenage years spent playing pickup. Acquiring a full degree of competency when joking about players requires someone to actually watch their performances in real time, a component of meme culture which reinforces the drive of viewership. Despite these salient points, the memeing of the NBA and its central role in re-developing my interest cannot be overstated. The oddity of falling in love with a sport through aspects mostly unrelated to the actual game itself is something only made possible by recent developments in media technology and the rapid rate of information exchange. Although I am still far from being an expert, the NBA’s meme culture has pushed me to enjoy watching basketball and learning its history once more, a dedication of time that had previously seemed impossible.
GAMES
February 1, 2024
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The Miscellany Crossword “Updeece Adventure” By Sufana Noorwez and Peter Nydam
ACROSS 1. Building code for the Bridge 4. In style 8. See 45 Down 12. Upstate NY STEM school 13. Response to bad news 14. Tennis tournament 15. Forum for inquiries, frequently on Reddit 16. Ephron of “Sleepless in Seattle” 17. Drains energy / poor fools 18. Neither dead nor alive, influenza is one 20. ____ Redding, nicknamed the “King of Soul” 22. Leave marks in copper, glass, etc. 23. Big sip 24. Little demon 27. Organic matter in soil 29. Small or intermediate theorem in a proof 31. Vassar printer driver brand 33. Punctuation marks that break
up .csv files 34. Where cheese might end up 35. What you might ask a stranger over text 36. Drug of choice for many Vassar students 37. Titular Jane 39. Early empire that spoke Quechua 42. Expression of understanding 43. Wipeout, or the result of a knocked glass 44. It’s inside your shoe 47. Consumes food 49. Laser gun noise 50. What this is 51. Crying, kiss, hug (textspeak) 52. Williams College mascot 53. Michael of “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” 54. “Be quiet, it’s a library!” “I won’t.” 55. Government agency that sends checks during retirement
DOWN 1. 2012 Pixar film 2. What doesn’t exist in “Mean Girls” math competition 3. What spaceship navigators might consult 4. Opposite of pros 5. Water, rearranged 6. How corn is planted 7. Cat-sized South American mammal with a long snout 8. What doesn’t gather on a rolling stone 9. Hoppy beer 10. Virgo’s month in brief 11. One of this crossword’s authors’ initials (plural) 19. “Star Trek” lieutenant played by Nichelle Nichols 21. What rugby built by the THs 23. What the imposter is 24. A vaccine does this 25. Full-contact combat sport 26. Je ne sais ___
Answers to last week’s puzzle: “Merrily We Go Around” By Sadie Keesbury
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
28. Pieces of dust (esp. in a sunbeam) 30. Two-thirds of Beyblades slogan 31. Die spot 32. Nitroxyl formula 33. Important figure of Cuban Revolution 35. Festive round found on doors 38. Throws hard (slang) 40. Applauds 41. First Greek letter 42. Swedish furniture supplier 43. Double letter pair in the middle of a double reed instrument 44. Many sophomores arrived early to campus for this event, for short 45. Nickname for football school in Oxford, MS, with 8 Across 46. Mangy dog 48. One hailing from the Ln Str Stt
CROSSWORD
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February 1, 2024
The Miscellany Crossword “Souprise” By Felix Mundy-Mancino
ACROSS 1. Bulk shopping “club” 5. One of four Pradeshes 10. Hudson Valley college 14. Olive or peanut, in Roma 15. Mexican sandwich 16. Antipiracy org. 17. Affectionate 18. Island in Jaws or -ville in a horror story 19. Travelers’ accommodations 20. Figure in Greek mythology whose name roughly translates to “manifestation of God” 22. “Brideshead Revisited” novelist 23. Watch and calculator company 24. Jeffrey of “Arrested Development” 26. Punk rock record label of Black Flag and Minutemen 27. November zodiac 29. TV station funded by “viewers like you” 32. Train tracks 34. Modern AAVE term for the oppressors 35. Have on 36. Prepend an “A” to emphasize
the spirituality of this believer in enlightenment through knowledge 39. Soft and wet 41. One who sports brown robes and a tonsure upon their head, perhaps 42. First person perspective (abbr.) 44. Gram or inch 45. Common fashion neckwear 46. Traditionally feminine name derived from a siren of the Rhine 48. Wall st. debut 51. Arctic plain 52. Mendelssohn of classical composition 54. Greedy antagonist of “The Hobbit” 57. What many a parent of college kids has now 59. Difficult 60. Winningest team in Texas high school football history 61. Classical architectural square post on either side of a doorway 62. Japanese soup made from dashi and a paste of the same name
63. What one might do to a bed 64. MX÷V 65. River that empties into the Baltic Sea at Szczecin 66. Military rank, in slang 67. Behavior that might ruin one’s poker game DOWN 1. Starts to celebrate and ceases? 2. Hawaiian greetings 3. Italian vegetable soup 4. “Me too” 5. State home to Zion and Arches national park 6. Soup often used as a dip with grilled cheese 7. 2:Binary::3:___ 8. Tries to 9. Sting or manta 10. Prickly shrub 11. Indigene of Northern Japan 12. What one did to the doorbell before entering 13. Small bartending unit 21. Put forward 22. Court 25. Creamy soup often made with seafood 28. Facile type of 45A
More Miscellany Games Inside!
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
29. One of the four Horsemen of Apocalypse 30. Scrooge expression 31. Apologetic texting expression 33. Pose a question 35. Nintendo game system 36. UTC+00:00 37. Political and religious organization founded in Detroit in 1930 (abbr.) 38. King Lear’s youngest daughter 40. Bring together 43. Painter of “The Milkmaid” and “View of Delft” 46. Schlep 47. Not a Saint Bernard or greyhound 49. Female organs of a flower 50. Jamaican soup made counterintuitively with beef 51. British royal family 53. Make into law 54. Average Joe (Yiddish var.) 55. Domestic hand 56. British idiot 58. Muscle quality 60. Disease that afflicted Yankees great Lou Gehrig