Misc.02.08.23

The Miscellany News

Black History Month begins

Jacques Abou-Rizk News Editor

Incelebration of the first day of Black History Month (BHM), the Jeh Vincent Johnson ALANA Cultural Center invited students and community members on Wednesday, Feb. 1 to celebrate Black life and culture.

According to Mareme Fall ’25, a Programming Intern at the JVJ African-American/ Black, Latino, Asian and Native American (ALANA) Cultural Center, “The BHM kickoff was planned months in advance, with efforts from BSU, ASU, and SOCA leadership, ALANA center staff and interns, and many other co-sponsors.”

The Center hosted two celebrations, the first at the ALANA Center in the morning at 10 a.m. and the second in the evening at 6 p.m. in the Villard Room. According to Fall, “The program consisted of incredible performances, including a steel drum set, poems, songs and a dance, as well as thoughtful remarks given by students and professors. After the program was over, we got to eat great food in wonderful company.”

According to Amanda Cora, the Program Manager at the ALANA Center, “The pro-

See BHM on page 4

Two fires damage Arlington community

Emma Raff Guest Reporter

EarlyWednesday morning, Feb. 1, firefighters responded to an alarm at 786 Main Street. Tony’s Pizza Pit, a family-owned business that has faithfully served the Arlington community for over 50 years, was consumed in flames. Multiple emergency response departments across Poughkeepsie arrived at the scene, and after hours of fight-

Basketball chasing title repeat

Nick Villamil Assistant Sports Editor

Last spring, the Vassar men’s basketball team won its first Liberty League championship, which in turn earned them another first: an automatic bid to the NCAA tournament.

On the heels of last season’s successes, the Brewers were selected as the Liberty League’s preseason favorite this winter, according to the League’s website. This was the first time the team has earned such an honor and marks a significant jump from the previous year’s preseason poll in which they were picked to finish fifth.

The accolade was just the latest step in the progression the program has enjoyed since Head Coach Ryan Mee’s hiring in 2018. Last season was Mee’s fourth at the helm and a fitting representation of the turnaround he has helped catalyze since his arrival. In 2018, Mee inherited a team that was coming off a 9-17 season. Last season, the Brewers finished 18-9 and won the conference title.

“It was an honor to be picked preseason #1 for the first time in school history,” Mee told The Miscellany News via email correspondence. “Our team earned that right but we all know what really matters is how we finish.”

Currently, Vassar finds itself firmly entrenched in a battle between the League’s

best. The Brewers are 13-8 overall and 9-5 in conference play, which has them ranked fourth in the League but tied with Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and St. Lawrence University for the second-best conference record.

Mee said that he considers the Liberty League to be one of the most balanced conferences in the country. “If you don’t show up on game day, you are going to get beat.”

Vassar came up short in both matchups against St. Lawrence, but split its season series with RPI and beat Ithaca on the road in December. The crucial second leg of its season series with Ithaca will be on Feb. 18, the Brewers’ last regular season game. Before then, Vassar has a conference game against RIT and crucial matchups against Skidmore and Hobart who are both currently 8-6 in Liberty League play and a threat to the Brewers’ current standing according to the League’s website. Barring an end-of-season collapse, Vassar is likely to finish in the league’s top six and have the opportunity to defend its tournament championship. Still, the games against Hobart and Skidmore will be crucial to determine seeding and home court advantage.

As the Brewers hit the home stretch of the final two weekends of decisive Liberty League play, it's evident that the team is a

See Basketball on page 15

ing the blaze amidst brutally cold weather conditions, the fire was extinguished around noon that same day, as reported by The Wolf. Thankfully, there were no casualties.

The Miscellany News contacted Battalion Chief George Finn, Fire Investigator and Fire Prevention Officer for the Arlington Fire Department, who stated that the investigation is ongoing; as of now, he cannot comment on the cause of the fire. However,

Finn reported, “[The fire] was in the rear of 786 Main Street, that’s Tony’s Pizza Pit, and burned that structure and extended into 784 Main Street, which is a three-story, multiuse dwelling.” The Pizza Pit was completely destroyed, along with the nearby Arlington Exchange and a salon. The four apartments above the exchange and salon were severely burned, and four additional apartments in

See Fires on page 3

Brewers on Be(ing for) Real

Yaksha Gummadapu Columnist

Recently,I was at a birthday dinner when a boy I was sitting near squinted at me and asked, “Do you have a BeReal?” “Excuse me?” I replied hesitantly, feeling as though I would be judged heavily on my response. He pulled out his phone and showed me the app, BeReal. For the first time in my life, a man taught me something about the online world that actually made me feel better about humanity. By the time dessert came out, I had made a BeReal account.

BeReal is a social media platform that encourages all its users to, in keeping with its name, be real. The concept is that everyday users are given two minutes to post a picture from their front and back cameras, capturing exactly what they are doing and how they look at that moment. If you don’t post a “BeReal”, you can’t view other people’s posts. Posting after the allotted two minutes will tell your followers exactly how late you posted. Most daunting of all, if you retake a photo once or multiple times (because you aren’t Zendaya), the app will let your followers see how many times you retook the pictures.

It was ironic that this app came into my life right after I had ended up Marie Kondo-ing my social media accounts. Anything or anyone that didn’t “spark joy” was blocked, unfollowed, unadded or restricted. With most

social media platforms, the pressure of being someone online takes from the ease of just being someone online. Watching YouTube or liking a post about how “Percy Jackson” is better than “Harry Potter” made me happy, but it wasn’t enough to combat how horrible I felt realizing I’ll never look like Kendall Jenner. Thankfully, I learned the truth: Social media is fake, and comparison is the thief of joy.

Initially, I was a fan of BeReal. But my need to stand behind any attempt for authenticity online might have blinded me to a lot of aspects of the app. After talking to several Brewers, I realized that BeReal had elicited interesting and sometimes opposing opinions and reactions.

My primary question for my interviewees was if they think BeReal is achieving its titular purpose. And the consensus was that not everyone on BeReal is keeping it 100 percent real. “I only post when I’m doing something interesting,” Kaiden Torcher ’26 shared. When I asked him if that defeated the purpose of the app, he shrugged and said yes. And this isn’t the only way users avoid being real. The tiny text that indicates if someone failed to meet the two minute deadline isn’t as incentivizing as the people at BeReal HQ hope it is, and users who want to be real find it frustrating. “[No] one cares what you are doing 24 hours later,” Ananya Krishnan ’26 frustrated-

See BeReal on page 7

Check out studentartist Jules Kiggins' prints!

Design Editor Maryam Bacchus recommends the best snacks to stockpile in your dorm this winter.

The Love Queen delivers heartfelt answers to your burning questions.

Nina Ajemian/The Miscellany News.

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Tony's Pizza Pit, Frontera suffer damage from fires

the neighboring building also suffered damages. Occupants of these complexes were left in various states of injury and disarray. “Roughly, I don't have an exact number, but approximately 16 occupants from 788 and another roughly 12 occupants from 784 were displaced in the care of the Red Cross on that evening,” said Finn.

The Balbo Family, the current owners of Tony’s, released a statement on Instagram, thanking the emergency responders for their courageous efforts and assuring their customers that despite the tragic event, Tony’s Pizza Pit will reopen: “We have enjoyed serving our community since 1969, and have every intention to continue to serve our loyal customers for another 100 years. Our founders, Tony & Maria Balbo, taught us the valuable lessons of grit, determination, and passion. We do not intend to stray from those ideals today.”

This statement is a relief to many students who feel that Tony’s is an integral part of their life at Vassar. Becca Spence ’25 first heard about the fire from a friend who sent an article about the disaster to the Multiracial/Biracial Students’ Alliance (MBSA) group chat. “I was in the library, and I audibly gasped when I opened the news article. It was hard to grasp that a place that MBSA had gotten food from just a week ago could be destroyed overnight,” she said. “Tony’s has been a staple for MBSA that we would often order from and share with our members. It’s become a fun tradition for us. I think Tony’s had the best pizza near Vassar, so it’ll be hard to find another classic spot like that.”

This is not the only fire that has plagued the Arlington business community in the past month. Frontera Tacos & Tequila, another family-owned business only a short walk away from campus, is temporarily closed due to a fire in their kitchen, according to its Facebook page. Chief Finn gave his

report from the scene, saying, “It was a grease fire inside of a can. The cook/owner burnt his hand. It was a pretty minor fire with respect to damage, and the injury wasn't that significant. But it caused the kitchen to be shut down.” Adhering to protocol, the Health Department and Building Department were summoned to inspect the quality of the food and the cleanliness of the kitchen following the fire. Despite the small size of the fire, it has been over three weeks since Frontera closed their doors. In response to this, Finn stated, “You'd have to call the Health Department to get a comment on why [Frontera] continued to get shut down. I'm not sure about that. But from the firefighter’s perspective, it was a one-day event—small fire. Very little damage or extension.”

Like Tony’s, with its friendly staff and proximity to campus, Frontera’s closing affects many Vassar students who frequented the restaurant. “Frontera is a restaurant that my girlfriend and I consistently go to,” said Thomas Cameron ’24. “Its close proximity makes it a perfect on-the-fly date spot. The owners would always go out of their way to chat with us and make us feel special. Frontera will be missed.” The restaurant's future remains unclear.

Bryan Swarthout, Vassar’s Vice President for Finance and Administration, responded to the two accidents on behalf of the Vassar Administration in an email correspondence: “We were saddened to hear of the fires at Frontera and Tony's. They both are unfortunate incidents, but thankfully no one was hurt.” He continued on to explain the importance of fire safety at Vassar, including fire drills and the annual New York State fire inspections. “Coincidentally, this week we announced that the New York State Office of Fire Prevention and Control (OFPC) will begin its annual campus fire inspection on February 14, 2023,” he said. When asked how he predicts these fires will affect the student

body and the greater Poughkeepsie community, Swarthout stated, “I can’t say how students will be affected, but I think at times like this it is important for communities to come together to show support and help when possible… Unfortunately, Tony's was completely destroyed. After 50 years in that location, as

an established fixture in Arlington, it will be a real loss for the community.”

Hopefully, Tony’s Pizza Pit will soon begin the slow process of rebuilding so that future Vassar students and the larger Arlington community can enjoy their food for years to come.

ResLife modifies probation in time for upcoming room draw

For Vassar students trying for the Terrace Apartments (TAs), Town Houses (THs) or South Commons (SoCos), housing draw is right around the corner. Last week, Director of Housing Rich Horowitz sent out the first email regarding housing for the 2023-2024 school year. While the majority of housing protocols will remain as they were for next year, one notable change includes a policy shift regarding the effects of a student-conduct probation on housing.

In previous years, student conduct violations that resulted in probation automatically included a half-point deduction for housing purposes, and as a result, these students would receive the last housing selection slots among students in their class and dorm, according to Horowitz. This year, students who are on probation will not automatically receive point deductions, and thus, their probation will not necessarily have any housing-related impact. Instead, situations will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.

Point deductions are on a half-point scale and seldom influence a senior’s ability to obtain an apartment space. According to Horowitz, receiving probation is rare: “Off the top of my head, about 90% of issues result in warnings—not probations.” Warnings do not affect students' housing selection time and can be issued for a variety of reasons, including: drug or alcohol usage, disorderly conduct and violations of fire

safety rules.

In a written correspondence, Horowitz said, “We wanted to ensure that the behavioral point deduction system was applied to probations when it made sense, as opposed to a blanket application to all probations.” The former policy on housing point deductions was initially put in place after students expressed that they felt the current system was unfair. They argued that students who did not comply with Vassar’s behavioral expectations should not receive better selection times than those who did.

The question still remains: How will this impact housing selection? The point system works by giving a student participating in apartment, suite or room draw, four points, which may be lowered by a half-point if a student receives probation. According to Horowitz, “A group of all rising seniors applying for a five-person apartment would normally get 20 points, while one that included a rising senior on probation would receive 19.5 points. A 19.5 group would still easily get a five-person apartment but would be unlikely to get one of the new TAs or THs (they'd likely go to full-point groups).” Horowitz added, “A group of all rising seniors applying for a four-person apartment would normally get 16 points, while one that included this particular rising senior would receive 15.5 points. Such a group would not be likely to get a four-person TA, as these have most recently gone only to full-point groups. This same group, however, would likely be

given the opportunity to add a fifth member and would be able to get a five-person apartment once they found out they didn’t get a four-person [apartment].” Seniors with point deductions may miss out on securing one of the newer apartment spaces, as those spaces tend to go to senior housing groups without any point deductions.

Seniors comprise the majority of students living in apartment spaces. According to the housing email sent by Horowitz on Jan. 31, there are 543 apartment spaces on campus, but with over 543 students in the rising senior class, not everyone would be able to live in an apartment space, should they want to. Katie Gebbia ’24 expressed her support in a written statement for the policy modification, saying, “I think this is better for forming housing groups, which is stressful enough as it is. I’d feel guilty joining a TA group if I had a lower housing selection slot due to probation and decreased our chance as a collective.”

Hunter Grogan ’24 said in a written statement, “I know of upperclassmen who are forced to room with sophomores in the dorms because of their deductions, and needless to say, it seems a little unfair to the lowerclassmen to be forced to room with upperclassmen like that without knowing the context of their deductions.”

For rising juniors, the chances of procuring an apartment are significantly smaller than for seniors. Horowitz wrote in his housing email last week: “Last year, there were 37 groups of all rising seniors in the

five-person apartments. On the other end, there were six groups of all rising juniors that received five-person apartments.” Makenna Monaghan ’25 said of the changes, “I don’t know if it will affect it that much since the chances of getting a TA as a junior aren’t that good. Either way, we don’t have the best odds.” While the odds might not be in favor of rising juniors, it’s unclear what impact, if any, the policy changes will have on juniors’ chances to obtain apartment spaces.

Horowitz confirmed that the new policy adjustment was finalized by the Committee on College Life last year and has been in effect since the start of the 2022-2023 school year.

Nina Ajemian/The Miscellany News.

Sarah McNeil Guest reporter Sandro Lorenzo/The Miscellany

ALANA Center opens Black History Month celebrations

Continued from BHM on page 1

gram included a welcome address from the student leaders, reading of land and Black Lives Matter acknowledgements, a moment of silence for the Black lives lost, a song performance by Mareme Fall, remarks from Professor Sydullah and a closing address by the student leaders.”

Cora added, “There were many highlights in the performances that took place. I am thankful to all of the performers who shared their talents with us.”

Carl Webster ’25, another ALANA Center Programming Intern, said Wednesday’s celebration was just a piece of what is to come later this month. “The event was enriching,” he said. “On display, there were Black artifacts, recipes and flags representing the African diaspora. The steel pan performance was definitely a highlight, as well as a song performed by Nathan Johnson.”

Director of the ALANA Center Nicole Beveridge said this month’s activities will focus on Black Excellence, past and present legacies, dialogue and expression. She said, “The programming for Black History Month 2023 seeks to invite students and campus partners to dream big at Vassar College as we transform our dreams and visions into a reality.”

According to Dean of Student Growth and Engagement Wendy Maragh Taylor, “The ALANA Center Director Nicole Beve -

ridge was proactive about reaching out across the campus and to alums to ensure that programming is in partnership with students, faculty, administrators and alums. And so, Black History Month is a college-wide effort. That matters.”

The JVJ ALANA Center will host a number of other speakers and events this month and throughout the semester, according to Fall. She wrote in a statement, “Through the month of February, there will be a STEM panel, Black solidarity dinner and a keynote speaker on intersectionality, all of which have been and will continue to be publicized by the ALANA center and orgs.”

Taylor added, "It's been a wonderful beginning of Black History Month—seeing our student leaders from ASU, BSU and SOCA lead out in the way they did at the Garden to Celebrate Black Lives, and then being present that evening at the Kickoff event that the ALANA Center partnered on with others to organize. That's been so important.”

President Elizabeth Bradley, too, enjoyed the Wednesday celebrations and hopes to attend future celebrations this month. She said, "I am very excited about the activities this year—from the opening in the Garden for the Celebration of Black Lives, to the STEM panel, to the guest speaker. The activities inspire us to take time and reflect, and then work toward a more equitable

and inclusive future on this campus and beyond."

There is much to appreciate about the BHM kickoff, and Fall said, “My main takeaway from the event was how important it is to be in community. It was emphasized by many of my peers how grateful they are to have each other to rely on, especially at

a PWI, because at the end of the day, all we have is each other."

She added, “I hope that moving forward, more people in the Vassar community can just show up. I don't really think it's asking for much just to pull up to an event—it's the easiest way to show your support for people.”

Image courtesy of Michael J. Okoniewski.

HBO's 'The Last of Us' is a startling success

Translating the entertainment value of an interactive medium like video games to a passive one like that of television is a Herculean effort. There are a few shows that succeeded in this task, namely Netflix’s “Arcane” and “Castlevania.” (I’ll also concede that the “Resident Evil” and “Silent Hill” movies are kitschy fun in retrospect). Still, many prior video game adaptations to the screen have suffered from uninteresting characters and stories. However, through the initial three of nine episodes available at the time of this review, HBO’s new drama series “The Last of Us” challenges commonly held notions of what is possible from an adaptation of this kind, from its instant mass appeal to how seamlessly it translates the language of video games to film. Also, it’s scary!

The premise of human society collapsing due to infection has been a familiar dystopian and horror fiction trope for decades and a fragment of popular consciousness for even longer. “The Last of Us” delivers a fresh iteration on this formula with cordyceps, a fungal virus triggered by global warming, which invades and parasitizes the bodies of its hosts. This sci-fi pseudo-realist explanation is mainly a vehicle for a zombie outbreak. Still, the horrific implications of this type of infection are well-realized in the show. For example, the zombies share a fungal hive mind, spores protrude from their mouths and eyes and pileus caps from the heads of more severely infected victims. One of the most horrifying elements of the show’s undead is their uncanny resemblance to humans, even though they are only a fac-

simile of life, complex individuals reduced to thoughtless husks. Equally terrifying is the condition of human society. Survival necessitates a brutal military state, conveyed through scenes of helmeted soldiers killing and brutalizing innocent civilians. Those who resist authoritarian rule descend into looting and gang warfare. This depiction of zombies succeeds because they feel oddly innocent. They are not human but are as alive and conscious as our morally compromised human characters, and the show asks us to consider who deserves survival.

“The Last of Us” follows the story of Joel Miller (Pedro Pascal), a survivalist living under martial law in a Boston settlement, taking viewers on his journey to protect a girl named Ellie (Bella Ramsey), whose immunity to cordyceps infection makes her the last hope of humanity. Pascal does a solid job as the stoic, calloused antihero, but Ramsey is the reason to keep watching. Her portrayal of a teenager thrust into the mantle of worldly responsibility, who learns the symbiotic beauty and horror of the outside world and slowly warps in its presence, is enthralling. Ellie is a narrative vessel for the viewer; we share in her questions, her frustrations, and her terror at the unknown threats of this strange world. Interestingly, the viewer’s alignment with Ellie is reversed from the 2013 video game, as the player piloted Joel and inhabited his perspective throughout; where Joel’s view seemed more somber and ruinous, Ellie’s is voraciously curious and hopeful.

“The Last of Us” arguably finds its greatest strength in its slow pacing, allowing the viewer to settle into the mundanity of everyday life, which serves as a prelude to flashes of horror. Though there are moments

of visceral brutality throughout, the most profound beats of the show are wordless and quietly dreadful. A museum lies vacant, desiccated by petrified fungus, letting us question the hubris of celebrating the history of a society erased. A formerly bustling Boston is liminal and absent, reclaimed by foliage in a grand display of eco-brutalism.

Joel and other weary wage laborers lug infected corpses, dispatched en masse by the government, into a raging fire pit. In these moments, the viewer considers how humdrum this bizarre reality seems to its inhabitants, and how the viewer’s current routines are only half-remembered by Joel and others like him. This dichotomy makes the world of “The Last of Us” feel disconcertingly real. There’s been much fanfare, according to The Independent, that “The Last of Us” is a critically and commercially successful video game adaptation, a distinction thought impossible to achieve, per The Guardian. The difficulty is not because video games have poor stories, but because video games convey them through interactivity. Video games can employ mechanical difficulty to build a tone of desperation and isolation (like in “Dark Souls”) or mechanical ease to empower the player in the narrative (like in “Doom Eternal”); they can use limited resources to make their narratives scary (like in “Resident Evil”), reset player progress to make achievements feel futile (like in “Outer Wilds”) or present a vast world the player can explore freely to cultivate a feeling of adventure and wonder (like in “Breath of the Wild”). The difficulty with adapting video games is that film and television are inherently noninteractive; we can empathize with the characters and embody their perspectives, but we cannot fully immerse ourselves in their worlds

or control their actions like we can in video games. In this regard, “The Last of Us” succeeds because its 2013 source material, like most of the game developer Naughty Dog’s output, is deeply cinematic. While mechanical storytelling is still present, the game is linear, and its scripted events and significant story beats happen in pre-rendered films (“cutscenes”) rather than gameplay. “The Last of Us” works well as an adaptation because the game already utilized film form.

Important to note is the show’s third episode, “Long Long Time,” which features striking guest performances by Nick Offerman (Bill) and Murray Bartlett (Frank) as a gay couple living a quiet, secluded life amid the apocalypse. In a show thus far oscillating between thrill and longing, an emotional rollercoaster that stokes melancholy in its viewers and characters but never draws tears, “Long Long Time” is wonderfully lachrymose. It revels in weepy sentimentalism, a beautiful love story narratively cloistered from the rest of the characters and plot. This episode will only grow more profound as the show’s oeuvre expands—its message, that love can flourish amidst an unremittingly barren world, will make it among the most essential in the series.

“The Last of Us” has thus far defied the odds and will only continue to, given its enormous positive reception, excellent choice of source material, and obvious passion poured into the performances, set design, and direction, according to Metacritic. It challenges the popular beliefs of what is possible with adaptation and continues to raise the bar for artistic expression in the streaming age. I will continue to follow Joel and Ellie’s story with bated breath over the next six weeks—let’s watch together!

Enjoying metal is easier than one might think

Allen Hale Columnist

Metal music tends to carry a poor public reputation, with nonlisteners often claiming a variation on the dictum: “I like all genres except metal.” The stereotypically chaotic and hostile nature of the genre’s sound may be seen as uncomfortable and excessive, leading to an avoidance by those who are otherwise open to most forms of music. However, these associations are often exaggerated or inapplicable to many metal musicians, and a great deal of the genre may actually appeal to non-fans. With the right starting points, anyone can find metal songs that satisfy their musical sensibilities, even if they had been previously wary of its sound.

The genre of metal originally arose in the ’60s, with roots in psychedelic rock and blues. A key component of the style is its forcefulness, emphasizing a heavy, loud sound with distorted guitars, intense drumming and vocals that are often shouted or screamed. In my opinion, metal’s core appeal lies in the power behind its instrumentals and vocals, leaving the listener with a sense of empoweredness or cathartic release. Even though the darker, horror-influenced aesthetics used by many bands are a staple of the genre, other elements appeal to wider audiences. Although heavy rock bands like Led Zeppelin are often cited among the pioneers of the genre, the U.K. group Black Sabbath was the first band to have the distinct sound and visual style we associate with the genre today. The group makes for a great starting point for non-fans, embracing core characteristics of the genre without being excessively loud, screechy or intense.

Songs like “Paranoid” or “The Wizard” share a sound similar to blues-inspired hard rock (albeit darker), appealing to fans of classic rock while utilizing distinctly metal riffs. If these tracks are enjoyable, I would recommend their track “Black Sabbath,” which employs slow, heavy guitar riffs and pained vocals that emphasize the horror of metal’s visual and sonic aesthetic.

Other metal bands within the generalized canon of “classic rock” include ’80s groups like Metallica and Iron Maiden, which appeal to more mainstream sensibilities with great commercial success. Metallica serves as a more inviting, melodic foray into the aggressive, guitar-solo laden style of thrash metal, in which artists shred with virtuosic ability. Instrumental pieces like “Orion” utilize theme and variation structure reminiscent of classical solo works, whereas “Fade to Black” or “For Whom the Bell Tolls” offer a more bombastic style with victorious, triumphant vocals. Iron Maiden balances a heavy, intense instrumental sound with a cleaner vocal delivery that similarly emphasizes melodicism. The galloping bass of “The Trooper” supports vocal harmonization over its top, offering an alternative to those who may be dissuaded by the gruffer vocals of Black Sabbath and Metallica. A variety of other mainstream bands like Van Halen and Kiss incorporate elements of metal and glam rock into their musical style; although these groups are not among my preferred bands, they provide a path for rock fans to ease into the world of metal.

For fans who enjoy the heaviness of metal without the abrasive vocals, bands like Candlemass and Warning serve as alternatives. Their music is grand and dense, combining doom metal riffs with smooth, operatic vo-

cal style. “Solitude” and “Footprints” are the standout tracks from each of the respective bands, in which their singers soar above the slow, immense weight of distorted guitars. Similarly, the experimental group Ulver utilizes metal instrumentation with ethereal, clean vocals. Although the band now creates electronic music, the members began their musical careers as metal musicians, emphasizing the use of tremolo picking, uptempo beats and an often raw, atmospheric sound. In combining these qualities with haunting, folk-inspired interludes and ghostly vocals, songs like “I Troldskog Faren Vild” evoke mysterious forests and dark winter nights, while remaining a more accessible example of black metal.

This crossover of metal with other genres can prove to be a more welcoming approach for fans looking to explore the style. Other genres with no apparent relation to metal are effectively incorporated and combined by a number of groups. For instance, Deftones have soared in popularity as a perennial favorite among non-metal fans, combining early-2000s alternative metal with the ecstasy and bliss of shoegaze. Standout songs like “Digital Bath” and “Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)” move effortlessly between the vocal styles of these respective genres, congealing into a thick, hazy brand of belligerence. The Japanese group Boris has similarly incorporated a number of other genres into their take on metal, creating expansive works inspired by ambient, post-rock and shoegaze such as “Farwell” or “Feedbacker, Pt. 2.” For fans of jazz, John Zorn’s group Electric Masada combines the chaotic improvisation of jazz instrumentation with a metal rhythm section. The group’s live album “At the Mountains of Madness” is a

high energy performance of epic proportions, making for a more challenging listen that is nonetheless a fine example of crossgenre experimentation. Hip-hop listeners are more likely to gravitate towards a group like Rage Against the Machine, whose rapped lyrics and forceful backing band enable the group to articulate pointed political critiques.

Although metal’s stereotypical persona and sound may be off-putting for non-listeners, there are a variety of more welcoming places to begin within the genre that feature less abrasive or extreme musical tendencies. As you begin your journey into metal, locate what aspects of the above-mentioned music appeal to your own taste, and get ready to dive down the rabbit hole of all that metal has to offer. If you’re willing to take a chance and step outside of your comfort zone, you hiuhuimay find yourself enjoying music you never thought would interest you before.

Jesse Koblin Columnist

Karen Mogami/ The Miscellany News.

CAMPUS CANVAS

Jules Kiggins '23 (she/her/hers)

Artist Jules Kiggins ’23 has explored many different types of visual media throughout her life, only beginning to venture into printmaking during her time at Vassar. Based near Boston, MA, she is particularly interested in animals and furniture, using her own pets and home as inspiration.

Images courtesy of Jules Kiggins '23.

Students share thoughts on popular social app

Continued from BeReal on page 1

ly explained.

With all these caveats and exceptions to its mission of being a novel form of social media, can BeReal become Brewers’ go-to social media platform? “I don’t consider it social media, I don’t know why,” Krishnan continued. And this is a sentiment shared by many. Out of all the time chronically-online Vassar students spend on their phones, it appears

as though they spend only a couple minutes on BeReal. “It’s not as addictive, you can’t just scroll instantly, it’s a once-a-day thing,” Eli Schair-Rigoletti ’26 said. And this might be exactly why BeReal is not the next Instagram or TikTok. You can’t scroll endlessly without participating. The lurking and stalking from the e-shadows that we are all guilty of cease to exist on BeReal. You can’t consume if you don’t contribute, and who wants to be themselves on the internet?

But, for all its flaws, the sweet sentiment

does not go unnoticed. There is something personal to the app that you do not get from seeing someone’s Instagram story. Kalina Sloat, ‘26 uses the app to glimpse into the lives of her friends back home. “I like keeping in touch with my friends from home and seeing them at their respective little colleges and it’s so cute seeing everyone in their little classes … I feel more updated with people I don’t get to talk to often.”

Octavia Cordes ’26 used the buzzwords “niche” and “quirky” to describe the app while Deecing with me. And she hit the nail on the head. BeReal isn’t and will never be the app you procrastinate or spiral on for hours. It’s the app you go to to see your friend watching a movie with their dad or your cousin on a date at the local mall. BeReal is perfect for our generation because it isn’t like the other apps. It’s familiar and comforting. It’s for real, or at least it really tries.

Hibernating student reviews the best dorm snacks

Maryam Bacchus Design Editor

It’s that time of year again where as soon as you step outside, your hands and face turn red and your classes are only half full because everyone is sick. Surviving winter is difficult, but with the added stress of having to take care of yourself while away at college, it becomes more like an obstacle course. That's why, in true hibernation fashion, I have a stockpile of snacks and nonperishables in my cave. The many people that have seen my stash have often uttered, “Wow, you could live solely off your room” or “Huh, I never thought to buy that.” So, in an effort to share my knowledge, I’ve compiled a list (in no particular order) of my favorite survival snacks.

#1 - Nostalgic cereal

Do you hate waking up for breakfast but you have a 9 a.m. back-to-back with a 10:30 a.m.? Do you take a nap after your classes and sleep through the non-peak Deece hours? Have you ever just wanted to eat Trix out of a solo cup while watching “The Suite Life on Deck”? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this one's for you. Cereal is the perfect easy-meal. Even better, now that you’re (mostly) an adult and (mostly) in control of your own spending, this is the validation you need to buy the sugary cereal your parents once denied you. I personally stockpile the aforementioned Trix, as well as Honey Nut Cheerios and Life for when I’m feeling “healthy.” Last semester, I was in my pebbles era with both Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles on deck. The best thing about cereal is that there are so many options to choose from, so you can almost never get tired of it. Next time you find yourself aimlessly wandering the aisles of Target, ask yourself what cereal you miss the most and consider buying it.

#2 - Clementine or mandarin oranges

I know, I know, you’re about to stop reading because I mentioned fruit, but hear me out. These little cuties offer you Vitamin C in the height of sick season and a fun bitesized treat that is also reminiscent of childhood. You can drizzle them with honey or

agave if you’re feeling sweet, or add some salt to cut the sour taste.

#3 - Peanut butter and…everything?

I have had a family-size jar of peanut butter since last semester, and it was honestly one of my best purchases ever. Peanut butter itself is versatile in sandwiches and can be a topping in smoothies or with fruit. In combination with the jelly of your choice, it makes a sandwich that is both nutritious and filling for when you don’t want to leave the warmth of your room for a lukewarm Deece dinner. This is by far the most practical item on this list.

#4 - Clif bars

Hot take: Clif bars are almost too sweet. I used to dislike them until I realized how truly multifunctional they are. They could be a dessert, snack or meal, and versatility is the name of the game when you have limited storage space. Leave one in your backpack or jacket pocket for emergencies on the go. My favorite flavors are Chocolate Chip and Chocolate Brownie, the latter being my current fixation. You can never go wrong with healthy chocolate.

#5 - Spicy chips

“Spicy chips” is intentionally vague because there is really so much you can do

here. If you have an affinity for artificial cheese, you can go the classic Flamin’ Hot Cheetos or some form of Hot Fries route. If you enjoy a specific flavor of spice like sweet chili or jalapeño, there are many different brands and chip types to choose from. My personal favorite to stockpile is Kettle Brand Jalapeño Chips. Every time I try to get another snack, I end up finishing a bag of these chips in two sittings and completely ignoring whatever else I bought. I cannot identify what makes them so good, but they are—and thus are a staple for snacking.

#6 - Gatorade

Last but certainly not least, Gatorade is there for you through thick and thin. Sick

and dehydrated? Gatorade. Too much fun on a weekend? Gatorade. The walk to the gym got you winded before you’ve even started your workout? Gatorade. If one drink could solve all of life's problems, it just might be Gatorade. While water does serve a similar purpose, we all deserve a sugary treat every now and then.

The next time you head to Target on a time crunch, pull this article up as your shopping list. Alternatively, consider what snacks make you feel the same ways I do about my favorites and stock up on those. Either way, I definitely recommend having a mini pantry in your room to survive these trying times.

Yaksha Gummadapu/The Miscellany News.

Maryam Bacchus/The Miscellany

Elevators on campus: A story that uplifts

Jyotsna Naidu Columnist

Riding the elevator is a beautiful and mundane process. It’s not often that a group of strangers are wedged in a six by six foot box with, temporarily at least, no escape. “What floor?” one asks, awaiting a response. The elevator is a warp in the time space continuum. Even if you ride it at different times, you only see the same people riding the elevator and never see these people outside of the elevator. These elevator riders are like elementary school teachers: they do not exist outside of the world you experience with them.

Local efforts by The Miscellany News highlight the cultural significance of elevators in “Need a lift? Vassar’s ten sexiest elevators revealed,” and “Fun ways to pass the time while waiting for the Jewett elevator.” Elevators have also gained recognition with representation in pop culture: the iconic setting in “The Shining” with an elevator behind the creepy twins, the climax of the sequel in “Charlie and the Glass Elevator,” the force driving the story arc in many rom-coms, questioning an elevator’s worthiness to Thor’s mighty hammer Mjölnir, and more. Clearly in pop culture elevators lift plots to new heights, so why do we not recognize their value in everyday life?

Each Vassar elevator is different. For this article, I rode many elevators for several minutes in addition to talking to their riders. Here is a non-exhaustive list of what people did on their phones in the elevators I rode on: listened to music loud enough that I could hear, clicked through Instagram stories faster than the speed of light, talked on the phone loudly to compensate for poor reception, turned their phone off and on again and texted.

Unfortunately, several dorms lack passenger elevators depriving such dorms' residents and visitors alike of these unique

experiences.

“Is there even an elevator?” questioned Davison resident Charlotte Tanner-Morash ’26 when visiting Raymond, a dorm famously known for its lack of a passenger elevator. While the Davison elevator may be slow, Tanner-Morash acknowledged that it is at least there.

Other elevators brought anticipation and adventure. Pooja Huded ’25 lives on the ninth (and top) floor of Jewett. “Many fire alarms happen and yes we climb down nine flights of stairs and sometimes back up those nine flights when the elevator wasn’t working right after a fire alarm,” Huded said in a written correspondence.

Another Jewett resident narrowly escaped death last Halloweekend after jump -

up. It usually takes about two to three minutes,” an anonymous resident said.

In this story I expected the elevator to be a setting—but never a character! Yes, on the surface the elevator presents as an uncontrollable setting we must experience but never engage with: being late to class, stopping at the wrong floor (Jewett), horrendous smells (Main). But clearly, inspired by the actions of the aforementioned resident, our elevator interactions demonstrate a personal engagement that gives character to each elevator.

For instance, the Main elevator has become the Party elevator. The architectural design of the elevator lends itself to this:reflective surfaces embodying a ’70s disco, with handrails to drunkenly lean against. But, it is Main residents who are to be credited with personifying the Main elevator by ripping off panels from the siding to become souvenirs, gifting occasional objects—small ball, rubber chicken, balloon—to the floor to memorialize weekend adventures and keeping alive the lingering smell of alcohol with mysterious spills on the floor that people nervously avoid.

your belongings, the prospect of a new life ahead of the elevator doors both calms and excites you. We do not enter a new stage of life tired and out of breath from stairs— no, we enter with resolve, confident to approach the world, or at least your dorm and roommate, ahead. During next year’s move-in, be sure to tell the Class of 2027 to first thank the elevator—that is, for the select dorm residents that have a working elevator.

Living in close proximity to an elevator has changed me and my world. To be able to tap the elevator V-card reader with speed, I bought a stick-on phone wallet for fast access to my V-card. I also wear slides more regularly, as I am not scared of tripping on them on the stairs because I’m taking the elevator. No one I interviewed had an answer to how the elevator changed their world. Perhaps they will discover so in time.

ing up and down in the elevator.

“[The elevator] freaked out. It just stopped. Then we hit one and we went down to one and then [the elevator] reset.”

Despite this harrowing tale, I was more afraid to ride the Noyes elevator given its rusty, casket-like demeanor. Brave enough to enter the elevator, I observed inscribed graffiti that read trapped here and the years of the event. Later I returned to Jewett and took notice of someone who, after clicking the elevator button, left and went to the bathroom. But why?

“I thought it'd take some time to come

Intentionally manifesting the character of the elevator can be transformational to your elevator experience. With enough manifestation, the Bridge’s frighteningly rickety elevator ride with a strange tarp in lieu of a ceiling becomes a fun science adventure with a unique backdrop.

But watching is the line of engagement on public transportation—no eye contact, no talking to strangers or friends. You keep to yourself and keep safe. On the other hand, Vassar elevators demand a social experience, where engagement brings opportunity.

Take most students’ first experience with Vassar elevators: move-in day. The burdens of heavy luggage and college anxieties vanish when you enter the elevator. Greeted by House Team members who help you with

Jumping through time in ‘A Visit From the Goon Squad’

I’vehad “A Visit From the Goon Squad” tucked in my bag since late September, but I only just finished reading it. I borrowed the book after much reluctance from my friend Julian Young ’26, who had picked it up in Chelsea Market and opened it to find that the author, Jennifer Egan herself, had signed it. He proceeded to incessantly rave about the novel, even though I was just getting to know him. I asked to borrow it then, curious as to what kind of literature made him so excited; he agreed casually and immediately. When I finally got a hold of it from him, I felt doubtful, unsure if the book would live up to the complexity and heartfulness that I was expecting.

Within the first few chapters, it becomes clear that “complex” is an understatement. The book follows an expansive cast of characters back and forth over a collection of years, at times feeling like a maze of plotlines and anecdotes the reader struggles to keep up with. One chapter will be about Sasha, a kleptomaniac assistant for a bigshot music producer, Bennie, who’s lost his edge.The next chapter will bring you back a few decades to Bennie—he’s a 17-year-old punk with a reliable group of friends and an unreliable band. This sort of jumping back and forth through time, connecting characters at different points in their lives, is what

lies at the heart of what makes the book so special. Reading about a middle-aged Bennie from Sasha’s perspective in the present-day made me roll my eyes at the sort of haughty yet aimless character he seemed to represent. Yet, the next chapter forced me to reshape my opinion, seeing him as an impassioned kid who loves music and a girl in his band. There’s a gap that exists there, between Bennie’s days of trying to book gigs for his band that gets assaulted with tomatoes and beer cans during shows to his days of struggling to keep his record label afloat, signing bands that inspire a dull ache within him instead of excitement and passion. The drive to find the answer to this question propels the reader to flip the page, only to find that Egan has moved onto another character.

The book is littered with characters like Bennie—people who are wandering through life, often unhappy and unsuccessful. Within this cast, my favorite remains Rob, a friend of Sasha’s from her NYU days. Rob is kind-hearted and misguided, struggling to find the point in continuing his life. When in the hospital recovering from a suicide attempt, Rob is visited by a worn-out Sasha, who tells him that they are the survivors of this world and that he can never do anything like that ever again. He promises her, but a few months later he drowns in the East River. As the current crashes against his chest, he imagines him-

self floating away from his body and into Sasha’s room. He presses himself against her sleeping body and whispers in her ear that he’s sorry and he loves her and he will be curled up against her heart forever, protecting her. Through teary eyes, I reread this chapter again and again, savoring the moments when Egan writes with a ferocity and wit that are specific to Rob. Then, in a move that is used in almost every chapter of the book, Egan uses blunt force in her writing, cutting down a character who the reader has found an astounding amount of empathy for.

The magic of “A Visit From the Goon Squad” lies in both the delicateness with which Egan treats characters who seem, at times, hopeless and undeserving, and the interconnectedness of all of them. They have a desire to be better but they just can’t, a sentiment echoed best in the line, “Redemption, transformation—God how she wanted these things. Every day, every minute. Didn't everyone?” The persistent goon in the book is seemingly time itself, and it becomes the thing that the characters blame for what they have not been able to accomplish. Rob and Bennie, two characters who never directly meet are characterized by their attempts to push away the onslaught of time. Bennie becomes disillusioned and Rob ends his life. In a more direct way, the two are connected through Sasha, who knew both of them at vastly different points

in her life. Egan writes, “Everyone we've lost, we'll find. Or they'll find us.”

From a technical perspective, the book shines in its experimental nature. Depending on the character, Egan adopts a different writing style. The reader jumps from a chapter utilizing second-person narration to a chapter that is told entirely in PowerPoint. Another chapter zeroes in on details that give away a character’s neurotic tendencies, mirroring the writing style of David Foster-Wallace. The book is littered with musical references, seamlessly creating a soundtrack to the stories. Egan makes bold choices as a writer that ultimately pay off and produce a refreshing read instead of giving way to pretension.

Readers step away from the novel understanding that the impact of our lives ripple through timelines and generations. Sasha’s children ask her about Rob, whose photograph lives in her wallet. Egan forces readers to reconsider moments in the past, finding camaraderie with people whose influence can only be understood when one takes the time to map out the events of one’s life. There’s a sense of carefulness and attention to detail that shapes the book. The regret, heartbreak and loss that permeates the lives of the characters are reflective of what half the deal of life is. Instead of fighting it or turning away, “A Visit From the Goon Squad” shows that these moments are necessary in painting the fuller picture of life.

Rameen Gondal Guest Columnist

Jyotsna Naidu /The Miscellany News.

"On the other hand, Vassar elevators demand a social experience, where engagement brings opportunity."

From the desk of Madi Donat, Humor Editor

New decree by Humor Editor banishes all Valentine’s Day haters to a soulless land where they’ll never see the color pink again Renowned romance advisor The Love Queen makes her debut

Ireally want to talk to him, but I barely see him, so there is no way to naturally start up a conversation. I’m also worried that he isn’t attracted to me… I’m lost. What can I do?

LQ: Hey, queen! I’m sure many people can relate to this right now—myself included. Personally, I’m not above stalking a crush or figuring out their class schedule to “run into” them at Retreat after their class and strike up a “natural” conversation, but if you want to go about this in a less creepy, more natural way, here’s what I would suggest:

If you have him on any social media, you could react to his stories or send him a TikTok that reminds you of him in hopes that it sparks a conversation. If you don’t already have him added, the next time you see him at a party or social setting, you can ask for his Snap and try to talk more that way—we all know that Snapchat is the prime flirting app :)

You could also invite him (and his friends) to hang out with your friend group or to pregame before the next Molé Molé or Juliet College Night. Group settings can be less intimidating and a great way to get to know someone further. I know making the first move is scary, but it's also sexy, so don’t be afraid to reach out!

And about whether or not he finds you attractive, I’m sure you’re a gorgeous queen and a bad bitch, so if he doesn’t like you, that’s truly his loss. But, honestly, sometimes attraction grows over time, and the more time you spend with him, the more he will grow to like you.

I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t love me as much as I love him anymore. We used to spend more time together, but lately it feels like his priorities have changed to make me a side character in his life. I want my old boyfriend back. How do I bring this up to him?

LQ: Hey, queen! Soo… the toxic part of me wants you to confront and question him about who or what he’s spending all his time with and why it’s not you, but don’t listen to her. I’m going to let the mature side of me advise you on this one.

Your feelings are always valid, and it’s important to not bottle them up. But I want to give you some peace of mind and remind you that it’s not always about the quantity of time spent together, but the quality.

important that he be able to take space for himself if he needs it as well.

If you feel like he’s not making enough time for you, don’t badger him. Take this as an opportunity to start hanging out with your friends more or take days to focus on yourself. At the end of the day, your needs are important, too. And hey, if you also make less of an effort to hang out and he notices the distance and realizes he misses you, it might cause him to start putting in

more of an effort to see you. That’s what we call a reverse psychology win-win situation. But even if he doesn't, don't panic. Try to have a constructive conversation where you express your feelings. Don’t grill him—just mention how you feel like you are spending less time together and that you would like to see him more. Also remember that you're not taking the space to test him, but rather to maintain a strong sense of self without him.

He could genuinely just be busy with other things at the moment that need his attention more. That doesn't mean he loves you any less; it just means he has to focus on other things right now. Maybe his classes are super difficult this semester, or he’s got a lot of personal things on his mind. It’s

'We lost the Art Library': Librarian tells all

ian revealed that they and all of their colleagues lost track of the Art Library in late 2018 and haven’t been able to find it since.

“Honestly? We don’t have a clue where

it is,” an embarrassed librarian confessed. “We’re not even sure if it’s part of the normal Library or, like, its own separate thing.”

Allegedly, the trouble began around five years ago when the last librarian with knowledge of the Art Library’s location re -

“Honestly? We don’t have a clue where it is,” an embarrassed librarian confessed. “We’re not even sure if it’s part of the normal Library or, like, its own separate thing.”

tired, leaving her colleagues in the lurch.

“If one of us needed to go there, we would always call her and ask her to remind us where it was, but when she retired, she stopped answering her phone,” the librarian complained. “One time, she did pick up, and when I asked where it was she told me

to [EXPLETIVE] off and [EXPLETIVE] the [EXPLETIVE] Art Library up my [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE]. I haven’t tried calling her since.”

Now, when students ask where they can find the Art Library, the librarians have taken to evading the question entirely or offering cryptic responses like, “The Art Library is where the heart is,” or “52 degrees left and upside down to your north.” The anonymous librarian expressed pity for students seeking the Art Library, but claimed that the situation left them with no other option due to how awkward it would be to ask anyone where it is.

“I feel bad for the kids; I really do,” they said. “They just want to read about the Monte Lisa, or the Leaning Tower of Pitas, or whatever. I wish I could help them, but can you imagine how embarrassing it would be for me to admit the truth? I’d lose all my credibility! I could never show my face in the Deece again!

“Besides, when the librarians realized what had happened, we all signed a blood oath to not reveal the truth to anyone. That’s why I’m only telling you this off the record.

“This is off the record, right?

“Right?”

The Love Queen Cupid's Little Helper ;)

Speaking anonymously to The Miscellany News this week, a Vassar librar-

Oliver Stewart Investigative Journalist

Nina Ajemian/The Miscellany News.

"I know making the first move is scary, but it's also sexy, so don’t be afraid to reach out!"

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

ARIES

March 21 |

April 19

(W)HOR(E)OSCOPES

Madi Donat Romanseer

Luck in love will soon come your way! Your intensity drives away those who can’t hack it, but who cares about those losers, anyway? Your capacity to aggressively care about others is unmatched, and that’s what matters. Shower your loved ones in compliments and confetti this week, because you and they deserve it.

TAURUS

April 20 |

May 20

Stubborn Taureans love the simple life, and I can’t say I blame you. All you want is to know that someone will be there for you always! And always answer your calls. And to literally always be around when you want to cuddle, even if it’s 4 a.m. Which, like, whatever. I hope that happens for you. That would be awesome.

GEMINI

May 21 |

June 20

The Gemini stereotype of being flighty and hard to please doesn’t make sense to me. What you need is someone who works your mind! To find your next great love, leave scavenger hunt clues around campus with a fishy-looking QR code attached. Only those willing to maybe give their phone a virus will be worthy.

CANCER

June 21 | July 22

Dude, it’s gonna be okay. Your deep connection with your inner world and emotions is too much for the more repressed folks. Putting your energy into people who don’t care about you sucks for everyone! This Valentine’s Day, focus on who is actually worth your time, like your family or those orgs you keep flaking on.

LEO July 23 | August 22

VIRGO

August 23 |

September 22

You love big, and you love loud. But do you love in a way that takes into account what others want? Maybe you like big gestures, but what about them? Maybe your love language is gifts, but what if theirs is quality time? You get my point. Be proactive! Anticipate their needs this holiday, even if those needs are decades ahead. Loving comes logically to you, and your ability to state your needs and love unabashedly is something others should aspire to. Love does not have to be just for people! This week, make a list of everything you love as a reminder that this world is kind and good. I’ll get you started: trees, assignment extensions, Retreat lemonade...

LIBRA

September 23 |

October 22

Being showered in affection sounds like your kinda holiday! In a month where everything is pink and gorgeous, surround yourself with things that make you happy, and let them spur you towards positivity and happiness, even if you happen to be single this year. Why not buy a little heart-shaped cake for yourself? You deserve it.

SCORPIO

October 23 |

November 21

Scorpios are stereotyped as dark and mysterious, and maybe to an inexperienced astrologer that means you keep your love close to your chest. But the thing about water signs is that when they love someone, it’s gonna be everyone’s problem. Relish in your ability to make others care this week! It’s a superpower few have.

SAGITTARIUS

November 22 |

December 21

Your love of adventure follows you wherever you go, so plan some great journeys this week! Go on a hike in the freezing cold, or to the movie theater if you, like me, have not gone since 2020, and the last movie you saw was “Cats.” Tragic, I know. There’s always [checks notes] some Marvel movie, I’m sure.

CAPRICORN

December 22 |

January 19

You are the fanciest of all signs. Your love is regal and stately, like the Tony Awards or other events where you wear fur and maybe Patti Lupone is there. This week, remind yourself what you’re grateful for when life gets tough. You don’t want to forget that we live in a world in which Patti Lupone has an internet presence.

AQUARIUS

January 20 |

February 18

You really are the luckiest sign, because your season perfectly coincides with the time of year where everything is the best color and shape. Sure, I’m biased as a pinkheart-lover, but who could say no to those festive symbols of the season? Show your love this year through good, old-fashioned, chalky, gross candy hearts.

PISCES

February 19 |

March 20

Soulmates are cool and all, but why not build a great love? If love is a house, kindness and communication are Legos. And just like Legos, kindness and communication come in many different colors and it’s illegal to bend them to your will. A strong foundation will take you far in love, and, unlike with Legos, you won’t have to pay $300 for it.

How not to buy a car: Writer provides foolproof guide

Atthe ripe old age of 21, I can say for sure that I have made my fair share of bad decisions. Nothing so far has been irreversible, but some have been bad enough to bruise my ego for a period of time. Many of my half-baked decisions have more or less been caused by my lack of knowledge when it comes to what makes the world go round: money.

I am not a big spender by any means, but I have made several stupid decisions that have resulted in big dents in my savings account. The main object of my misery for the past year has been my 1997 Jeep Cherokee that has spent more time at the mechanic shop than with me. From a blown head gasket to a simple flat tire to the green slime spewing from the engine, my car (and my wallet) have seen it all. You may be asking yourself, “Why get a car that is so old and is having all of these problems?” I ask myself that question everyday. Well, not really.

When I set out to get a car my senior year, I had a very simple set of criteria: Cheap, cheap and cheap. Sure, I kept safety in mind so my mother would not be living in a state of constant fear, but it was not at the top of the list for me, personally.

Now, I know about cars, but I certainly don't know everything. So I relied on my father most of the time, who has only bought a brand new car once in his life. Now, it is not unique by any means to have an old used car as the first vehicle you own, but there are a couple things you have to take into consideration.

The first couple cars I took a look at had quite a few red flags. Rust seemed to be a recurring character that ruined my dreams of buying a vintage yellow Jeep Grand Wagoneer. And no matter how cool it looked, the fact that I could stick my hand through the floor and push out a chunk to see the road below was not a good sign. My dreams were also crushed when I opened the door of a Toyota 4Runner to see that there was no window on

the passenger side, and the car had a tendency to stall at high speeds. After many failed trips to check out cars, I finally found my car. You may be wondering, why not just buy a cheap, reliable Subaru or Chevy and not

time—whether it is worth my constant worry. The hysteria I experienced when it stalled outside the Deece and two incredibly kind Deece workers had to help me push it to the North Lot was not worth the occasional compliment from an old car enthusiast. They did high five after the car was out of the way, so I guess that was worth a little something.

I mean, at this point, it’s like having a baby. I have to give my car enough attention everyday so that it doesn't feel neglected, make sure it has time to warm up in the morning and feed it or else it will start to cry. By feeding, I mean constantly filling it up with coolant and power steering fluid or else it will scream every time I start it and continue to squeal as I drive, which is very embarrassing while driving on campus.

something that is four years older than I am and requires constant trips to the mechanic? I haven't a clue. As cool as it is to have a funky looking old car, I question—all the

Poetry Corner Anna

Kozloski

AN OBSERVATION

Even though it has caused lots of misery and depleted my bank account, it has taught me many things about adulthood and responsibility—namely, that both will cost you all of your money and bring you nothing but pain with a small sliver of happiness.

Carly D'antonio Newest Host of "Top Gear"

"I have to give my car enough attention everyday so that it doesn't feel neglected, make sure it has time to warm up in the morning and feed it or else it will start to cry."

Humans do not make good woodpeckers.

Valentine's Day headlines from another publication

Nandini Likki, Reductress Devotee

Date who says they’re “down for anything” is clearly biased towards one hyper-specific option

These two people would each clearly rather be at home, in their underwear, watching YouTube videos

How to physically detach your hand so it doesn’t reach for your phone for the millionth time during a prolonged silence

Area man forcing you to watch him play a video game is “actually really good, but the lag is really bad and my monitor is dark, and I can’t see and…”

Sorry for pausing the show again, but I just have to bring up this completely unrelated, obscure piece of trivia

10 excuses to get out of a date that don’t involve mentioning your friends’ illnesses

I lived it: I completely listened to the five-minute song you were showing me while also feigning interest in your totally unique taste in music

Wow! That awkward couple over there is totally on their first date! Thank God we’ve been dating for so long that we’ve merged into a huge gelatinous blob!

Madi Donat, Sandro Lorenzo/The Miscellany News.

Vassar needs free laundry for its students

Britt Andrade Guest Columnist

Every year the students of Vassar College move into their various dorms, TAs and THs, and make their spaces their own for the following year. For many, that includes washing their first load of clothing or linens. For first-year students, that means paying for laundry—and, for the first time, using the VCash system that Vassar endorses. At that moment, the love-hate relationship with Vassar laundry begins. Laundry is $1.60 for a wash and an additional $1.60 for drying. $3.20 per load of laundry adds up fast if you wash two loads a week; one clothing, the other linens. And what happens to the students who build up more laundry because of athletics, illnesses and club participation? Are they forced to eat the cost of good hygiene? What do students risk if they go longer between washes? According to Housing for Health, “Washing clothing and bedding helps to remove any bacteria, dirt, fleas, mites and other irritants. Washing of clothes and bedding can help reduce the incidence of infectious diseases, such as diarrhoeal disease, respiratory infections, scabies and other skin infections.” Addi-

tionally, most people should be changing their sheets weekly, and with limited storage space in the dorms, some students only have one pair of sheets, which means that they’ll have to wash those sheets weekly. In a season of sickness, not washing clothes or sheets to save money can be the difference between being in class on Monday and going to Health Service.

It costs less, of course, if you stuff the machine past capacity. That saved cost, though, leads to the possibility of clothing not getting clean, thus defeating the purpose of doing laundry. This strategy also gives the machines a beating, increasing the possibility of a breakdown before their time. The last thing students need is broken machines when they’re trying to be hygienic in the middle of the semester. Students may be less likely to overfill the machines if they don’t have to worry about the cost.

The cost of laundry also leads to class divides. Some students have access to free laundry through need-based options such as the VWash act passed by the VSA, which provides $33 a semester to students on financial aid. But the reality is that needbased doesn’t always see the big picture of a

student's financial situation. VWash is for students who qualify for work study at Vassar. That means that students have to work to access the program. A student shouldn't have to work a job to access laundry funding. It also means that students who don't qualify for work study don't qualify for VWash. A student can come from a middle-class background with a family that is able to manage tuition payments and a meal plan, but laundry expenses become too much financially. If you don’t qualify for financial assistance, you could find yourself in a precarious situation. Students can start to realize how easy it is for finances to shift out of their control when looking at the pressure that education and living expenses can place on them and their families.

Charging for laundry may also make Vassar less competitive in terms of admission. This past summer, I worked with veterans who were interested in secondary education, and spent over a month at four different college campuses. It was an amazing opportunity to see how other schools operate, how they teach and how they recruit. We also got to experience firsthand

how their students live, as we stayed in the dorms. Three dorms were without air conditioning, meaning sweaty days and a need to wash clothes frequently. Notably, every college I went to had free laundry. And before you ask, these were peer institutions and top schools with similar rankings to Vassar. I stayed at Princeton, Notre Dame, Williams and Amherst. Every single one of these schools offered free laundry services to students. How does that impact desirability? I have to wonder, are there students choosing other equally good schools because of something as simple as laundry? Probably. I know it would matter to me if I were living on campus. I would want to guarantee that I could wash my clothes whenever I wanted without having to worry about whether I had gotten paid yet and without having to weigh the cost of laundry against food, hygiene products or a new notebook.

Ultimately, the point is simple: When Vassar’s current contract is up with the laundry company, E&R, the College needs to take control of the laundry. Let students wash their clothes for free and watch the positive change that follows.

AI art is not ‘inspired’ by its sources—it is exploiting them

Nicholas Tillinghast Humor Editor

Every time I see someone comparing the process of Artificial Intelligence (AI) art generation to inspiration, I am infuriated to no end. To quote “John Rosemond: Why you shouldn’t high-five a child,” “Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh! Will you please just stop doing that, please? Every time I see it, I want to scream, and I’m not an emotionally hyperactive person.” While Rosemond had far more niche (and, frankly, wrong) opinions in his article, his words of anger hold up in matters that are far more frustrating.

I will admit that AI art generation is a process that I only sort of understand. Large AI art generators such as Midjourney, DALL-E 2 and Stable Diffusion were created through the assemblage of billions of images, which have text descriptors attached to them. When someone inputs text, these images that match this text are sort of blended together, generating a new image in a matter of seconds. Put a little more simply, if you input “dog with sunglasses,” an AI will find the broad similarities in pictures of dogs, pictures of sunglasses and pictures of dogs wearing sunglasses, and then will attempt to fill in the fine details as best it can—which can often produce pretty accurate results.

My knowledge of AI art generation is partly limited because it is an incredibly complicated process, meaning it was maybe inevitable for people to compare parts of the AI image generation process to human experiences, such as considering the AI’s image sources as pieces of inspiration for its art. In a similar vein, whenever someone touts the large amount of image data that these AIs rely on, inevitably the words “training” or “learning” come up, as if DALL-E 2 is hitting the weight room every morning or is flipping through flash cards the night before a big test.

It’s not necessarily an unhelpful meta-

phor to compare AI art to human experiences like inspiration, but I’ve found that it’s often a misdirection for people to think of AI art in these terms. Tech companies would like you to find some humanity in their products; a big ugly Amazon container then becomes “Rafa” and art generators become artists themselves.

I want to be clear to a pretty obvious extent: AI art programs are not human—not even a little bit. They do not approach art in the same way as humans. The generation process isn’t like hip-hop sampling, and it's not like collaging. It is a much less poetic and much more unnerving process.

I mentioned earlier that AI art generation can be quite accurate, but there are a lot of things that AI art, in my experience, seemingly always gets wrong. Generative art has trouble generating the right number of fingers on people, generating any sort of text feature in an image or properly articulating basic human or animal anatomy. As Toward Data Science explores, inputting “circle” into Midjourney creates images that are anything but simple. While these might appear as laughable quirks, they point to the ways that AI art is significantly different from human art. These are somewhat trivial examples, but they hint at much more insidious instances. There are many ways in which human-centric rhetoric, especially in the case of inspiration, lets AI companies off the hook for copyright issues and excuses them from the moral implications of generative art.

When a person makes art inspired by an image and then sells it, they usually aren’t liable to copyright infringement, especially if they have at least some conception of copyright law. When an AI is “inspired,” it often makes images that point very clearly to their source material. According to The Verge, images on Stable Diffusion occasionally appear with a wobbly but distinct Getty Images watermark (a company which is in

the process of suing Stable Difusion). In the case of the AI art app Lensa, generated images often include scrawled signatures in the corner, mimicking real artist signage from the source images. Generic inputs, such as my aforementioned “dog with sunglasses” example, will probably not create images that violate copyright law, but hyper-specific input that utilizes a specific artist’s style is much more likely to produce images that break copyright law. The reality is, though, that due to much of the complications of the generative art process, no one really knows how a court would rule until it happens, per The Verge.

A recent lawsuit filed by a trio of artists against major AI art companies has shed light on this issue as well as the many frustrations artists are having with the medium, per NPR. For the artists in this lawsuit and many more artists, their art is fed into a machine without their consent, and that machine will inevitably take revenue from them. Ignoring future copyright rulings for a second, why would a newspaper pay for an illustrator when they can input text into a generative art model and tell it to make an image in the style of that illustrator for far less money and in a fraction of the time?

Outside of commercial interests, someone could generate offensive images in an artist's style or they could generate art that an artist simply doesn’t agree with. People have always had the ability, to some extent, to copy someone else’s art or remix it, but generative art has made this process so much easier. While an artist always has the option to innovate their style or change it completely—something AI can’t as easily exploit—the production of generative images made in an artist’s style creates a scenario where an artist is still constantly competing against their former art and can never feel comfortable staying with a particular style.

If people treat the AI art generation process simply as being inspired by its source im-

ages, they will completely miss the point about its unprecedented power over artists that contribute to its existence. If AI art companies provided the option for artists to opt out their work or gave artists financial compensation when their work is used in image generation, artists might feel more comfortable with the new medium. But for most companies, neither of these amendments are likely to be made, especially without legal rulings.

National legislation that could possibly curb AI’s ability to dominate artists and flaunt copyright law will inevitably lag far behind the advances of AI, partly because of our representatives’ failure to understand basic recent technology. It might be relevant to remember, between the viral moments of Mark Zuckerberg sipping water, quite a few Congress members who spoke during that 2018 Congressional hearing who were completely unaware of how a major social media network like Facebook generates money, per Vox.

Despite all of this, the saddest part about AI art for me is that it feels like this should be the moment to celebrate an incredible piece of technology for creativity, or at the minimum, a funny internet tool. But instead, because of what seems like incredibly myopic thinking from a plethora of tech startups, we’re left with pretty much all of the possible trappings of a software that depends on large swaths of copyrighted data. It’s hard for me not to view AI art generators as this large, shadowy creature of unknown size or shape, existing in a strange space between traditional art tools and anything remotely human.

[DISCLAIMER: I generated these accompanying images either while gathering info for this article or while working on a project for a digital art class in the fall semester. They are in no way intended to substitute the work of the Misc Graphics staff.]

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

“Dog with sunglasses” via DALL-E 2 and “Michael Jordan riding dinosaur” via Midjourney.

Vassar Brewers Sports Roundup: Feb. 9, 2023

Men’s Track and Field Women’s Track and Field

Utica Pioneer Invitational

Feb. 4

The Vassar men’s track team continued its inaugural indoor season with an eighth place finish at the Pioneer Invitational at Utica University. The stars of the meet for Vassar were Tim Jacques ’24, who won the 600 meters with a time of 1:24.72, and Jeremy Frank ’25 who tied for the win in the pole vault with a jump of 4.10 meters. The duo combined for 19 of Vassar’s 25 points. But Vassar still had some strong performances in other events. The Distance Medley Relay team of Jacques, Arlo Rucker ’26, Lukas Muzila ’23 and Davis Anderson ’26 finished third overall. In the mile, Vassar had five runners break the five-minute barrier. Rucker and Kai Chang ’25 finished back-to-back in 13th and 14th place, with times of 4:38.66 and 4:38.86 respectively. Not too far behind was Nick Miller ’26 who ran a 4:42.81 to finish 18th overall. Rounding out the sub-five crew were Jackson Bernreuter ’25 and Doug Cobb ’23 [Disclaimer: Doug Cobb is Sports Editor for The Miscellany News] with times of 4:51.45 and 4:57.71. In shot put, Justin White ’26 threw 11.48 meters to finish 13th overall. Up next for the Brewers is the Ocean Breeze Fasttrack National Invite on Feb. 10 in Staten Island, NY.

Men's Volleyball

2W-0L

Fifth-ranked Vassar men’s volleyball swept its Feb. 4 double header with victories over Misericordia and 14th ranked Lasell. After being down 8-6 in the first set against Misericordia, Vassar scored 11 of the next 13 points to take a 17-11 lead. The Brewers ended up taking the set 2518 behind some blocks and kills from Tristan Christofferson ’26 and Billy Fan ’25. With a slight 4-3 lead in the second set, the Brewers went on another run, scoring six points in a row, including a winner from Gavin van Beveren ’23. The Brewers never looked back and cruised to a 25-10 set win to go up 2-0. The third set was more of a back and forth, but after taking a 24-21 lead, Vassar buried Misericordia with a kill from van Beveren that gave them the match 3-0. Against Lasell, the first set was initially a close back-and-forth affair before Vassar once again went on a six-point run. The team dispatched the Lasers in the first set by a score of 25-16. The second set was close as well until the Brewers went on another one of their patented runs to score seven straight points and take a 19-9 lead. They closed it out with a 25-18 set victory to go up 2-0. The third set was a blowout from the start, with Vassar taking an early 10-3 lead, before finishing off the Lasers with a 25-10 set victory to take the match 3-0. The wins improved Vassar’s record to 5-1. The Brewers will next host Randolph-Macon at Kenyon Hall on Feb. 10.

Utica Pioneer Invitational

The Vassar women’s track team was back at Utica University for the second time in its inaugural season for the Pioneer Invitational. The Brewers scored 35 points, good for seventh overall. Highlight performances include Ava Novak ’24 making the finals in the 60 meter dash with a time of 8.33. Novak then finished seventh in the finals with a time of 8.38, and Lola Perez-Fry ’23 finished in the top 10 with a time of 8.39. In the mile, Anika Mueller-Hickler ’26 finished seventh overall with a time of 5:36.11. In the 3,000 meters, Augusta Stockman ’23 continued her strong season by again recording a qualifying standard for the All-Atlantic Regional Track and Field Conference with a time of 10:32.13, earning a third-place finish. The Distance Medley Relay team of Muller-Hickler, Jordan Norman ’24, Clara Wiesler ’24 and Sophie Farr ’25 finished fourth overall with a time of 14:06.15. But the most dominant showing for the Brewers was easily the long jump. Vassar had three athletes finish in the top six, including Novak who placed sixth with a jump of 5.04 meters, Sydney Passley-Harris ’26 who finished fifth with a jump of 5.06 meters and Perez-Fry who finished second overall with a jump of 5.28 meters, qualifying her for the All-Atlantic Regional Track and Field Conference Championship.

Women's Basketball

2W-0L

The Vassar women’s basketball team had a dominant weekend, winning both of its games on the road, including a 77-34 shellacking of Bard College on Feb. 3 and a 67-55 victory over Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI) the next day on Feb. 4. Against Bard, the Brewers quickly went ahead 12-0 and had a 20-3 lead by the end of the first quarter. Bard was never able to close the gap after that. Sierra McDermed ’26 led the Brewers with 11 points, seven rebounds and three steals. Tova Gelb ’25 also hit double-digits with 10 points of her own. The next day, Vassar traveled up north to RPI to face another Liberty League rival. This game was much closer, and RPI took a 22-19 lead into halftime. But in the second half, Eliza Srinivasan ’23 caught fire, scoring all 19 of her points for the game to lead the Brewers to victory, including 11 straight points at the end of the third quarter and into the fourth. Srinivasan also had nine rebounds and five assists. Another standout performance came from Gelb, who recorded a double-double with 18 points and 10 rebounds. Alex Lee ’23 had 12 points, three rebounds, two assists and two steals as well. The victories improved Vassar’s overall record to 14-7 and 11-3 in the Liberty League. Up next for the Brewers is a roadtrip to Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT) on Feb. 10.

Men’s basketball gears up for final Liberty League stretch

long way from where it was five years ago. Mee praises his seniors, who now prepare for their final end of season run, for playing a pivotal role in the program’s turnaround.

“The seniors are very special to me. They were our first recruiting class and bought into the vision that [we] were selling. Our pitch was to come to an elite academic school and compete on a national stage. The work ethic they have shown on the court and in the classroom has exceeded expectations.”

This year’s senior class comprises the entirety of the Brewers’ most commonly used starting lineup, the same lineup that excelled last season. Such continuity is any college coach’s dream and the main reason why Vassar entered the season with high expectations.

Avni Mustafaj ’23 has emerged as the leader of that starting unit. Mustafaj leads the team in points, field goals made and free throws. He is also second on the team in rebounds and assists, behind Jack Rothenberg ’23, another key player in the Brewers’ lineup, and is only 45 points away from becoming a 1,000 point career scorer.

Mustafaj is a team captain for a second season, joined this year by Zach Johnson ’23, last year’s Liberty League player of the year according to Vassar Athletics. Johnson has only appeared in 10 games but has still managed to be a leading force for Vassar as a scorer and rebounder. Having Johnson playing at his junior-year form will be crucial to the Brewers’ postseason hopes.

“Avni and Zach, with the help of their teammates, raised the level of our program,” described Mee. “They carry the label of captain, but the group as a whole have done a

good job of holding each other accountable.”

Beyond his senior class’ abilities on the court, Mee credits their success to the bond they have been able to form with each other. “I believe the turning point for our program was when our seniors decided to live together in an AirBnB in Maryland for the Fall Semester of 2020. The bond that was made while learning remotely was deeper than anything that could have happened on campus.”

As the season reaches its most important

and challenging moments, Mee is urging his team to find consistency.

“If I had to choose one thing that might have cost us a game or two, [it] would be our sense of urgency,” he said. “If we played 40 minutes with the same sense of urgency that we have played the final five to ten minutes, I think we would have two to three more wins.”

He also has some confidence thanks to his senior class’ proven track record.

“I’ve been fortunate to be a part of a hand-

ful of championship teams and the common denominator is that your best players are your hardest workers.”

Beyond that, Mee is just making sure to enjoy the ride.

“My goal for our team is to compete to the best of our abilities every second we have together so we have no regrets. Knowing we left it on the floor, we will be able to come back to alumni weekends and reminisce about all the memories we made on and off the court.”

Image courtesy of Stockton Photo, Inc.

The Miscellany Crossword

“Rom-Com Classics”

By Monika Sweeney

ACROSS

4.“It was like coming home, only to no home I'd ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew it. It was like _____.”

5. “All is fair in love and ___?”

8. “I just don't want to do it until I find the right person. You see how picky I am about my _____, and they only go on my feet.”

10. “I came _____ when I met you.”

11. “You want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a _____ around it and pull it down.”

13. “Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your ____.”

14. “I fell in love the way you fall ______: slowly, and then all at once.”

17. “I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to ____ her.”

18. “If you’re a bird, I’m a ____.”

19. “Winning that _____, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you.”

20. “You had me at _____.”

21. “As you ____.”

Answers to last week’s puzzle: "Go With the Flow"

By Harrison Walker

DOWN

1. “Call me by your ____ and I'll call you by mine.”

2. “It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there…If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love ________ is all around.”

3. “But mostly I ____ the way I don’t ____ you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

6. “Michael, I love you. I've loved you for ____ years. I've just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and, well, now, I'm just scared, so - I-I-I realize this comes at a very inopportune time, but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. M-marry me. Let me make you happy.”

7. “Nobody puts ____ in the corner.”

8. “You have bewitched me, body and ____, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”

9. “You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a ______.”

12. “For the first time in my whole life, I know what I wanna do! And for the first time, I'm gonna do it! Whether my father wants me to or not! _____ diem!”

15. “We’ll always have _____.”

16. “He is the cheese to my ________.”