The Miscellany News
miscellanynews.org
Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866 Volume 161 | Issue 4
February 15, 2024
Nights BREAKING NEWS: Emily Mortimer 100 to give address at 160th Commencement dazzles seniors Sufana Noorwez, Sashinka Poor
Maryam Bacchus, Charlotte Robertson
Senior Editors
Editor-in-Chief, Managing Editor
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Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
n Feb. 9, 2024, The Miscellany News was informed by Vassar College that actress and filmmaker Emily Mortimer will address the Class of 2024 at the 160th Commencement. The ceremony is scheduled to take place on May 19, 2024. Notably, Mortimer voiced young Sophie in the English-dubbed version of “Howl’s Moving Castle,” portrayed Nicole in “The Pink Panther” and starred as MacKenzie “Mac” Morgan McHale in HBO’s “The Newsroom.” She was nominated for a British Academy Television Award (BAFTA) for her work as a supporting actress in “The Pursuit of Love,” which she also wrote and directed. She will portray Mrs. Brown in the upcoming “Paddington in Peru” movie. Mortimer was born and raised in Hammersmith, London, and later attended Oxford University, where she studied Russian. Mortimer now resides in Brooklyn, NY, with her husband, actor Alessandro Nivola, and their two children. An interview with Mortimer and The Miscellany News is forthcoming.
ASA hosts Grier lectures on race, literature celebr ation Kathyrn Carvel, Leila Stark
Copy Staffer, Guest Columnist
Clara Alger News Editor
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n Saturday, Feb. 10, Vassar’s Asian Students’ Alliance (ASA) hosted their annual Lunar New Year dinner in the Aula. The space glowed warmly from paper lanterns and string lights. Attendees dined together at circular tables, celebrating the start of the Year of the Dragon. This year’s event had an exceptional turnout. Co-President of ASA Sofia Satuito ’26 noted that they had prepared for about 80 guests but ended up selling around 120 tickets, though they were able to cover for the additional people. The primary student organizers of the night, Emily Tieu ’24, Chi Nguyen ’26 and Claudia Lin ’27 said they began prepping for the event during winter break. In addition to the dinner, the event included palm reading, calligraphy activities and photo stations. One change from last year is that Nguyen proposed to have dinner served family style. When asked about her favorite part of the night, Tieu said, “I think watching everyone eat together,” commenting that she enjoyed seeing people who did not See ASA on page 3
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ow can we define racism today? Professor Miles Grier opened his lecture with this question and was met with a resounding silence. The lecture hall that moments before had felt so large and so sparsely populated became claustrophobic. For a conversation about Black agency and the written word, the room was notably lacking students of color. On Jan. 31, 2024, Professor Miles P. Grier of Queens College came to Vassar to give a lecture titled “Black Residue: Ink and Racial Thinking from Shakespeare to Toni Morrison.” Grier’s lecture was based on his research on the performance history of Shakespeare’s “Othello.” He then combined this study with his research in Black agency and the written word, tying in work from revered literary figures Philis Wheatley and Toni Morrison. He encouraged us to re-evaluate our relationship to the written word and its function as a symbol of oppression. The lecture’s overarching theme explored the authority of the written word and whether it should hold primacy in Westernized society. Grier explained that placing the most authority and value in written text strips people who do not have access to the written word of any agency. Failure to conform to the primacy of the written word denies many people accu-
rate representation and, in turn, credibility. Grier’s research pinpointed the written word as a Eurocentric form of communication; when society emphasizes it as the most prominent form of truth, it ultimately devalues alternate forms of communication and archival knowledge. To begin, Grier introduced us to the Moor character archetype in Shakespeare’s work: a person that is covered or filled with ink, trapped in a liminal space between humanity and markings on a page. He focused on Shakespeare’s “Othello,” which follows a Moorish general in the Venetian army who grapples with the consequences of his racial identity in a predominantly white society. As Othello rises to power and marries Desdemona, his identity as a Moor becomes a focal point for the manipulation and deceit orchestrated by the villainous Iago. The play explores themes of racism, jealousy and the destructive impact of societal prejudices on an individual’s sense of identity and belonging. As one of the first prominent Black literary figures and characterized for his dark—or ink-like—skin tone, Othello becomes the epitome of illiteracy. As Grier deftly explained, Othello is a character that is meant to be read or is someone else’s text; he is never given the agency to become the reader himself. As literacy and the written word holds much authority in our society in what is charSee Grier on page 4
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quintessential Vassar senior experience is 100 Nights, a celebration of the remaining days until Commencement. Though the idea of being so close to the end of our time at Vassar is daunting, many seniors took the event as a chance to forget about looming deadlines for an evening and fully immerse themselves in the fun of solving a murder mystery. In the arc of a typical Vassar career, the Alumnae House may serve many purposes, including a location for department dinners with invited speakers or a place where parents may stay when visiting. However, for many seniors, their first experience with Alumnae House was the dreaded COVID-19 quarantine. Before the days of an open campus or a hotel quarantine, students who tested positive for COVID-19 were placed in one of the rooms in Alumnae House. But those days were far from anyone’s mind on Friday night, as seniors filled the halls of the gorgeous inn. The Senior Class Council had enticed students with varied offerings, including a prosecco bar, jazz, poker and, the main event of the night, a murder mystery beginning 30 minutes after the start of the event. Turnout was high, as was the loyalty to the theme of “100 Nights 100 years ago.” Only a few minutes after 8 p.m., a long line of seniors dressed in suits and slinky dresses, adorned with feathers and pipes, led into the reception area of the Alumnae House. Coincidentally, Alumnae House is celebrating its own 100-year anniversary this year, meaning that the location was more on theme than anyone else. The architecture, gorgeous on any day, was especially appreciated on Friday evening, contributing to the immersive experience. The building itself was decorated to fit the theme as well, with high-top tables topped with real flame candles and even more feathers. Balloons and soft, 1920s-esque jazz completed the ambience for the evening. An unexpected delight was the vast array of snacks freely available in the main room. Though dessert snacks had been promised, the variety of food catered by Twisted Soul exceeded expectations. Savory options, like nachos and pulled pork or tofu sliders, as well as sweet treats including chocolate tarts, mini pavlovas and cheesecake were on constant rotation for hungry students throughout the night. As for the prosecco bar, a free drink was offered to the first 100 seniors who arrived at the event, and excited students lined up clutching their red tickets. The bar offered a variety of prosecco with different mixers, along with a non-alcoholic peach and ginSee Seniors on page 7
Inside this issue
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ARTS
Comedy. Drama. Chicken piccata. Arts Editor Jesse Koblin reviews FX’s “The Bear.”
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HUMOR
Arts Editor Allen Hale takes it upon himself to redraw the U.S. map, extending and combining states as he sees fit.
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Assistant Opinions Editor Jyotsna Naidu urges for sympaOPINIONS thy toward those nightmarish ‘Sephora Tweens.’
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February 15, 2024
THE MISCELLANY NEWS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR SENIOR EDITORS
Maryam Bacchus Charlotte Robertson Sufana Noorwez Sashinka Poor Sandro Lorenzo CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Will Sorge Monika Sweeney Clara Alger NEWS EDITORS Makenna Monaghan Allison Lowe ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR Allen Hale ARTS EDITORS Jesse Koblin Emma Lawrence ASSISTANT ARTS EDITOR Carina Cole FEATURES EDITOR Luke Jenkins ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR Lev Winickoff OPINIONS EDITOR Jyotsna Naidu ASSISTANT OPINIONS EDITOR Nicholas Tillinghast HUMOR EDITOR Oliver Stewart ASSISTANT HUMOR EDITOR Nick Villamil SPORTS EDITOR Caris Lee ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Igor Martiniouk PHOTO EDITOR Molly Delahunty DESIGN EDITOR Amelia Gracie ASSISTANT DESIGN EDITOR Julia Weinberg COPY EDITOR Willa Jewitt ASSISTANT COPY EDITORS Anabel Lee Ailynn O’Neill Karen Mogami GRAPHICS EDITOR Sadie Keesbury GAMES EDITOR Olivia Kahn SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS Richard Lu Catherine Borthwick LIVE EVENTS CHAIR Fallon Dern ASSISTANT LIVE EVENTS CHAIR Kai Chang WEBMASTERS Michael Yang Britt Andrade REPORTERS/COLUMNISTS Cassandra Brook Soren Fischer Henry France Yaksha Gummadapu Anna Kozloski Gwen Ma Oliver Stewart Josie Wenner Andrew Chu CARTOONISTS Ian Watanabe Kathryn Carvel COPY STAFF Darja Coutts Grace Finke Willa Jewitt Claire Miller Ailynn O’Neill Emma Sandrew Emma San Filippo Edward Welch Morgan
CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed. The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
NEWS
February 15, 2024
ASA
celebrates
Continued from ASA on page 1 know each other interacting at the tables. ASA made a point of ensuring that many different cultures who celebrate Lunar New Year could find representation in the variety of cuisines offered. Tieu specified that they got Chinese food from Chan’s Peking and Palace Dumpling, Malaysian food from Pandan Bistro, Vietnamese food from Miss Saigon, and Korean food from Toro. All of the restaurants are local, located in Poughkeepsie, Wappinger Falls and Fishkill. Nguyen explained the significance of the holiday to her, saying, “I’m international, so for us, Lunar New Year is kind of similar to Christmas.” She continued, “Coming to college, it was just kind of weird because like nobody really celebrates Lunar New Year here, and having ASA and this space is really meaningful to me in order to feel like this is still a part of me that is very important and is celebrated by the people in my community.” Attendees of the event Yewon Kang ’26 and Kristine Kim ’26 also shared memories of Lunar New Year celebrations at home. Kang said that when she lived in Korea, “That’s the one time of the year I get to see all my cousins.” Kim said that her family always makes rice cakes, and Kang added that her family would make lots and lots of dumplings. Another attendee, Alex Spitzer ’25, also said that growing up, her family celebrated Lunar New Year in addition to the regular new year: “It was just a time where we could all come together, and it was really festive and celebratory.” She added, “Having that space here, when I’m not with my
VCTV Allison Lowe
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assar College Television (VCTV), Vassar’s student-led hub for video production, filmmaking education and film events, held a 12-hour-long filmmaking extravaganza on Friday, Feb. 9. The event took place in VCTV’s office in the basement of Chicago Hall from 2 p.m. to 2 a.m. with the goal of creating as many films as possible within the 12-hour timeframe. Participants were able to stay as long as they liked, with many taking up shifts during either the earlier or later section of the event. The tradition began last year with a 24hour extravaganza, but VCTV executive board members decided to switch to 12 hours for this year. “We didn’t want to ruin our sleep schedules,” Lorelei Essman-Freeman ’24, Co-President of VCTV, explained. “It was a lot of fun.” Students came in and out of the VCTV office throughout the day and night, oftentimes taking out camera equipment to go film and coming back to edit their footage. Essman-Freeman stated, “It’s really just an opportunity for people to get handson experience with everything within the filmmaking process… In the office, there is plenty of space and plenty of equipment and people to go look around at stuff and brainstorm ideas.” Julia Weinberg ’26, the Treasurer of VCTV, explained, “Students came in, and we’d guide them through whichever aspects of the filmmaking process they were interested in. Some wanted to just write a script, while others stayed and carried out a film to fruition. Some even stayed the entire 12 hours!” [Disclaimer: Weinberg is the Copy Editor for The
Lunar
New
Year
family, was really nice and really special.” For Tieu, ASA’s Lunar New Year dinner provides a new opportunity for celebration. Though she is of Japanese and Taiwanese descent, her parents did not observe the holiday much in the home, so this dinner gives her a way to celebrate the day with friends at Vassar.
“Having ASA and this space is really meaningful to me in order to feel like this is still a part of me that is very important” When commenting on the importance of the event to ASA, Nguyen said, “We represent such a big community on campus that having the space for people to learn about new things and to be with each other and to know that this is, you know, meaningful and fun.” Tieu added, “We worked really hard together…It was fun to put on something and show the Vassar community that this is important to us, but invite them in to participate, and for those who celebrate, to have that piece of home.” Toward the end of the night everyone came out onto the porch of the Aula to set off confetti poppers. Colorful, shiny paper rained down as people yelled out, “Happy New Year!”
holds
Assistant News Editor
the
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12-hour
Miscellany News]. Participants could either come to the event with their own ideas or follow prompts provided by other members of VCTV. There were various prompts, such as one that challenged filmmakers to make a film based off of the work of the Lumière Brothers. The Lumière Brothers were some of the earliest filmmakers who worked in France during the 1890s and 1900s. Their famous actualitiés, such as “Workers Leaving the Factory,” showed footage of everyday life. Prompts such as these helped filmmakers to think outside of the box, with Essman-Freeman saying, “[It] really helps you to get an idea of what is interesting in an image rather than all of the fancy camera equipment.” Other activities included timed script-writing, where participants would set a three-minute or five-minute timer and write a script within the allotted time. “It was a way to get your ideas on paper and make something silly…nothing super polished or crazy,” Essman-Freeman said. By the end of the extravaganza, students had produced numerous finished projects. During Essman-Freeman’s five-hour shift at the beginning of the event, two projects were finished filming, one was finished editing, and one was in the filming process. Projects included music videos and fiction short films. “I starred in and edited a music video for the song ‘UCLA’ by RL Grime. It was really fun to shoot because it was probably the last film of the night… It was almost 2 a.m., and we were just giggling through all of it. But that’s what made it so fun to do!” Weinberg stated. VCTV holds similar events throughout the year with the hope of expanding access
Images courtesy of Sofie Shen ’25.
filmmaking
extravaganza
to filmmaking equipment and opportunities to students at Vassar. “The mission of VCTV is really to give students, especially underclassmen or people who are interested in film but aren’t in the Film major, the opportunity to use equipment and really work in production. We’re very production-based, with writing, filming, editing, et cetera,” Essman-Freeman explained. Vassar’s Film Department boasts an impressive array of filming, recording and editing equipment. This equipment collection includes everything from various types of cameras and lighting fixtures to a podcast recording booth. These supplies are largely provided through the Womp Haus, which is Vassar Film’s production and equipment rental house located on the second floor of the Vogelstein Center for Drama and Film. Eligible students can rent this equipment from Womp Haus for no charge. However, per Womp Haus guidelines, to be eligible to check out equipment, “You must be a Vassar student currently enrolled in a Film Department production course.” Film courses are notoriously difficult to gain entrance to, with many requests being placed during each pre-registration cycle and only so many spots being available. For example, Sound & Sight, Vassar Film’s foundational production course, only has 10 to 12 spots available for students. This leaves many students who are interested in film to look for another source of filmmaking equipment. VCTV seeks to fill that gap within the Vassar community. VCTV provides a wide abundance of film resources, and the organization has a goal of producing what students themselves want to make. “We’re not leadership-ori-
ented,” Essman-Freeman explained. “We do what other people want us to do… We would love if people came to us with any ideas for projects.” VCTV also holds a wide variety of meetings and activities that provide opportunities for those who are interested in filmbased opportunities of all kinds. Weinberg explained, “We do workshops, hold office hours, give students time to play with our wonderful equipment and find times with students to individually work on projects… We’re also really passionate about giving students opportunities in film on campus, which is why we do projects like the yearly Hype music video and recently Tiny Desk. We also do weekly screenings on Sundays at 7 p.m. in Rocky 300!”
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Image courtesy of Lorelei EssmanFreeman ’24.
ARTS
Page 4
February 15, 2024
Grier lectures on racial thinking across literature Continued from Grier on page 1 acterized as the truth, one can see the lasting harm that casting this archetypal prison upon the Moor character causes, as Grier eloquently pointed out. When we search for the truth, Grier reminded the audience, it is written word that many turn to. If Black characters are stripped of their agency and literacy in written texts, it denies them the authority to determine what goes into the literary archive, taking away their credibility. To connect these concepts to more modern examples, Grier brought two of the most influential Black writers of all time, Phillis Wheatley and Toni Morrison, into the conversation. Known for both her poetry and novels, Wheatley was one of the first Black and en-
slaved people to publish a book in the United States. After converting to Christianity as a young woman, religion became a predominant theme in Wheatley’s work, intersecting with the Black, enslaved experience. Unlike the agency that Othello is denied, Grier’s work highlights Wheatley’s feeling of authority in her identities as a reader and a writer with the agency to control what and how she wrote as a result of her conversion to Christianity. Toni Morrison published her first novel, “The Bluest Eye,” in 1970 and has since become one of the most prominent Black novelists in American history. As a lead-up to his discussion on Morrison, Grier presented us with the old Biblical adage: Speak the truth
and it will set you free. Morrison, however, did not feel this sentiment to be applicable to the Black community because the written word does not provide them with the same access to credibility and representation. Christianity did not empower Morrison with the same sense of agency that it gave Wheatley; rather, the Bible opened Morrison’s eyes to greater systemic inequities. Grier used Morrison’s argument to bring forward the idea that text should be taken off a pedestal and that, as a society, we should devalue the authority text has over us and critically think about who has access to that text. Grier’s lecture ultimately left us with as many questions as it gave us answers. His command of the room and pulse on the tra-
jectory of Black figures in literature was undeniable; however, we must admit that the talk became muddled at times, often losing the through line of how all of this incredible scholarship was supposed to weave together. An hour seemed insufficient time to truly explore the complex ties that Shakespeare, Wheatley and Morrison share in the canon of Black literature. Nonetheless, Grier’s critical engagement with the written word altered how we view our own relationship to writing. Coming full circle, Grier left us with a solution to the question of racism that he began with: Liberating oppressed forms of communication and reshaping our relationship to the written word has the power to free us all.
‘The Bear’: The toxic cooking dramedy of the moment Jesse Koblin Arts Editor
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t is hard to be a television fan these days without hearing about “The Bear.” Season One premiered on Hulu in 2022 and quietly delivered a succinct yet potent rendering of the restaurant industry, while 2023’s Season Two exploded as a critical darling, expanding the scope and scale of its predecessor. Noted for its character-led storytelling, heart-rending performances and exceptional direction, “The Bear” has set a high watermark for recent television, emphasized by last month’s six-Emmy awards sweep. This attention begs the question: is the show as good as its hype? While “The Bear” stumbles in its second season, its best features are addictively singular, making it a must-watch show despite occasional uneven moments. “The Bear” portrays brilliant Michelin-star chef Carmine “Carmy” Berzatto (Jeremy Allen White), who returns to his childhood home city of Chicago to take over the family restaurant after his brother’s tragic death. That restaurant, The Original Beef of Chicagoland, looks like something out of Gordon Ramsay’s “Kitchen Nightmares”—the staff are at each other’s throats, the place is in massive debt, and by the second episode, the restaurant gets a “C” grade from the Chicago Board of Health. Carmy’s efforts to turn the place around provoke animosity from the staff, principally down-and-out restaurant manager Richie (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) and line cook Tina (Liza Colón-Zayas). Enter young chef Sydney (Ayo Edebiri), overqualified and insecure, who signs on as sous-chef to follow Carmy’s nationally acclaimed status as a culinary star. Soon, Sydney is pushing Carmy to revamp the restaurant as a fine-dining experience, sparking kitchen conflict between the new upscale staff and existing humble cooks that dominate much of the series. According to Variety, the Season Two premiere of “The Bear” was the most popular of any FX show on Hulu, while Season One was the most watched FX show ever. What makes “The Bear” so popular is its adherence to the vogue of gritty realism, borrowing from real-life restaurant environments to create a chaotic and high-adrenaline atmosphere. Plots diverge from wide-scale storytelling to focus on the traumatic mundanities of restaurant ownership: ill-timed health inspections, crushing business debt, indifferent restaurant vendors and delivery people, toilets exploding, or just dull knives and over-boiling kettles. The fascination with the show also reflects America’s obsession with work culture. “The Bear” draws viewers into the world of work-obsessed Carmy, who practically lives in the restaurant for much of Season
One both to optimize the restaurant’s efficiency and to keep his demons at bay. The show excels in portraying a toxic workplace, developing its characters by letting their personal struggles explode into verbal and physical conflict under the pressure cooker of working at The Beef. Moments of culture clash, distrust, and fear among its cast are usually responses to inner turbulence manifesting in workplace drama. Not least, there is the food itself. “The Bear” indulges in slow, minimally scored shots of beautiful dishes as the reward for seeing the food’s creation: chaotic blocking as chefs muscle over each other, cacophonies of cries and clanging silverware, frenetic cuts and zooms, and lightning-fast juliennes framed adjacent to near-diced fingers. Storer’s juxtaposition of gorgeously manicured foods and the fevered work culture required to produce them is a reminder that culinary creation in the restaurant world is a labor not just of love but of struggle and interpersonal conflict. Above all, “The Bear” rests on the strength of its performances. Allen White portrays a character who uses blinders to deal with the trauma in his life, and his combination of intensity and vulnerability is one of the best recent performances on television. A strong script and focused direction combine in the character Sydney; rather than depicting her inner conflict through dialogue, the show relies on the strength of Edebiri’s performance, showing just enough of Sydney’s tentative voice and body language to see her embroiled in an inner conflict of low self-esteem and swelling ambition. The restraint and maturity of these “show-don’t-tell” choices give the characters an unspoken interiority. Not all the choices the show makes are great, however. Notably, the show uses pop and rock music by acts like Refused, Neil Finn, Eddie Vedder and especially Chicago favorite Wilco as a framing device with mixed results. Occasionally, the use of music heightens the drama. The poignant use of the wistful Wilco track “Impossible Germany” at the end of Season One’s “Sheridan” is a graceful accompaniment to the episode’s look at the soul-draining sacrifices the characters make for the restaurant; “Sheridan” also features an especially clunky and on-the-nose use of The Crystals’ “Da Doo Ron Ron (When He Walked Me Home)” set to a fight between Richie and restaurant repair person Fak. The over-reliance on pop songs only increases in Season Two, which sees nearly every change of scenery mechanically framed by music. Equally, Season Two sees character arcs become noticeably less complex and mired in trite narrative devices. Season One utilized restrained, unconventional emotional progressions and stories to lend its characters a rawness and realistic gravity in their personal
and interpersonal journeys. Season Two unravels this by defaulting to conventional television subplots in exploring its ensemble cast. Pastry chef Marcus balances his craft while attending to his mother in hospice care, line cooks Tina and Ebraheim enroll in culinary school and face feelings of inadequacy, and Carmy deals with the introduction of a hamfisted love triangle—these are all tired plot lines, jarring when contrasted with Season One’s unique narrative approaches. Coupled with an unexpected expansion of scope (Marcus visits a bright and clean Copenhagen, and surprise guest stars Will Poulter and Olivia Colman appear in one-off side roles) and a decline in the show’s commitment to realism, the show feels like it has drifted from its original vision. While a good television show can (and probably should) evolve season over season, Season Two’s shift toward sterilized settings, quippier characters and a treacly tone feel hollow compared to the weight and realism of Season One’s world. Nonetheless, Season Two features a series of show-defining moments. “Sundae,” which
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
follows Sydney touring Chicago’s gastronomical delights to gain inspiration for the restaurant, features the most satisfying and elegant food porn sequences in the show; meanwhile, “Forks” returns to Season One’s visceral character work with delightful progression in Richie’s narrative arc. The one-hour special “Fishes” is easily the show’s high point, bringing the hallucinatory kitchen nightmares of the restaurant industry to the family holiday table through pitch-perfect pacing and a cavalcade of increasingly ridiculous celebrity actor cameos. “Fishes” transcends the limitations of a television episode—it is an overblown televisual edifice that indulges in all of Season Two’s issues so thoroughly that it loops back into being subversive. Despite its sophomore missteps, “The Bear” is an exemplar in recent television, offsetting middling lows with stratospheric highs. With an onslaught of delectable performances, crisp direction and a (partial) mincing of stereotypical narratives, “The Bear” is at its worst palatable fare and its best searingly essential television.
Image courtesy of Sophia Kim ’24.
February 15, 2024
FEATURES
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Mark Schonwetter speaks about the good of humanity Charles Spencer Guest Columnist
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n Thursday, Feb. 9, Holocaust survivor Mark Schonwetter, his daughter Isabella Fiske and his grandson Jared Fiske ’26 joined Vassar students in packed Taylor Hall 203. Schonwetter spoke about his experience as a young Jewish boy in Poland during the Holocaust. His story is one of perseverance, strength and kindness in the face of the Nazis’ genocide. Schonwetter’s story began with his father, who was a farmer and the head of the local Jewish community in his small Polish hometown. After Poland’s capitulation in the fall of 1939, his father, Israel Schonwetter, became the link between the Gestapo and the local Jews. His father was forced to inform his community that they needed to wear armbands with the Star of David on them and stop sending their children to school. One day, his father went to the police station, as he often did, but did not return. The family later learned that Schonwetter’s father had been killed by the Nazis after a family friend found his body in a mass grave. After receiving a tip about how the Gestapo was preparing to round up Jews, Schonwetter’s mother, Sala Schonwetter, fled with Schonwetter and his younger sister to their old home, where they were sheltered temporarily by their old tenants. These tenants had helped the family with the farm before the Germans had seized the land and kicked the Schonwetters out. The Polish farm hands were allowed to stay. The farmer’s name was Mr. Pilat, and he would prove crucial to the family’s survival. He helped the Schonwetters despite the danger it posed to himself and his family. After spending the night with the farmers, the family went to a ghetto where they thought they would be safe, and for a few months, they lived in relative security. They would eat the food provided by the Nazis, which would consist of very thin soup and hard, stale bread. After spending around four months in the ghetto, Antoni Pilat
warned Sala Schonwetter that they were no longer safe and should flee. They managed to escape and were sheltered through the winter in a Polish woman’s attic. When the spring came, the woman no longer felt safe with the family in the home, and they were forced to leave. The woman had no idea where the Schonwetters should go, but she mentioned that nearby was a large forest in which they would be safe. For the rest of the war, that forest would become the family’s home for the summers. During the winters, they would find haven in the homes of kind Polish farmers who would shelter them for a week or two before being forced to move on. They would move between houses under the cover of darkness, sometimes marching for well over 10 miles in dark, cold European night in an attempt to find shelter. The longest they stayed in one place was three months when a farmer dug a one-foot-deep hole under his pigsty for them. This was covered with wood, then hay, and finally, the pigs. While there, the family was unable to leave. They would sleep, eat and defecate all in the same small space underneath the swine. When the war ended, Poland was liberated by the Soviet Union and was placed under a communist regime. Schonwetter and his family remained in Poland for a few years before moving to Israel in 1957. Three years later they immigrated to the United States. Schonwetter largely attributes his survival to his mother, who managed to stay positive and take care of him and his sister until the war ended in 1945. Pilat and his family also were hugely important in their survival, and Schonwetter is extremely grateful to both parties. Schonwetter began his talk by stating, “I consider my mom the greatest woman in this world… Thanks to her, me and my sister survived this.” Schonwetter ended his talk by reminding us that we are all just human beings. We, as people, have a choice. We can choose to treat others with love or with hate. Schonwetter urged everyone in the audience to
Image courtesy of Charles Spencer ’27. choose love every time. He conveyed the message that his story must be shared to help remember how bad things were so that humans can prevent them from getting that bad again. Felix Froning, the German Language Fellow, said the following in response to why it is important to teach about the Holocaust: “We need to make sure that those voices will never cease to be heard, especially when hate and suffering in the world seem to grow by the day. Education on the rise of the Nazis and the institutional enabling of genocide start as early as prima-
ry school in Germany.” Schonwetter and his daughter Isabella Fiske—who also spoke at the event—briefly encouraged us as listeners to become Schonwetter’s voice so that when he is gone, his story will live on. To aid in this goal, Fiske and her sister Ann Arnold founded the Mark Schonwetter Foundation, which aims to provide resources to schools around the country for Holocaust education. Since the foundation was founded in 2019, they have reached over 200,000 students around the country.
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
FEATURES
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Vassar
Writer-in-Residence
Charlotte Robertson Managing Editor
E
loquence comes easily for Garth Greenwell, Vassar’s 2024 Writer-in-Residence. He seems to know what he wants to say immediately, yet speaks with incredible mindfulness, sans “um”s or “like”s. This fluidity should come as no surprise, considering the pivotal role poetry has played in the American author’s life. Of his forthcoming novel “Small Rain,” from which he read two excerpts on Feb. 7, he said, “This is my defense of the humanities, I guess.”
Greenwell spoke with a delicious cadence, never stuttering, never breaking his rhythm. His words blended into one another, then broke apart in staccato. The reading took place at 6 p.m. in the Sanders Classroom auditorium. I went with my friend Eliza, who somehow knows every person in the English department. We were delighted by how identically all of the attending professors were dressed. Professor Amitava Kumar delivered a lovely introduction, informing us that Greenwell is the author of two books of fiction and a recipient of the Vursell Award for prose style, as well as a Guggenheim Fellowship. Then he sat down in the row in front of mine, produced a little notebook from his jacket pocket and began to sketch Greenwell as he spoke. Greenwell, being quite tall, had to crouch over the microphone. He stood perfectly still, but every so often, rubbed his forehead, as if summoning thought as one would a genie from a bottle. The first excerpt he read was a lengthy close reading of two poems: “Stranger’s Child,” by George Oppen, and “Ode on a Grecian Urn,” by John Keats. For several pages, Greenwell analyzed Oppen’s use of the word “sparkle.” The goal, he explained, was to demonstrate that poetry analysis is bottomless, citing literary critic Helen Vindler as an idol. “The point is the ‘too-much-ness.’ One of the things I love about novels is they’re so heterogeneous. I want to see how much random crap you can throw into a novel for it to still hold.” The room was silent as he read, except for when I dropped my pen and it rolled down the aisle. Greenwell spoke with a delicious cadence, never stuttering, never breaking his rhythm. His words blended into one another, then broke apart in staccato. “Process” was the largest topic of the Q&A session that followed Greenwell’s reading. The author said that he writes scenes sentence by sentence, without knowing what the real drama of the content will be. Generally, he finds the process difficult to explain. “I don’t trust what any writer says when they talk about their work. We’re so good at lying to ourselves,” he said. When it comes to inspiration, he commented: “So much of me is nihilistic. Because of that, all I care about is how people make meaning.” The first time I was able to speak with Greenwell was in line waiting for my copy of “Cleanness” to be signed. The second time I was able to speak with Greenwell was in the parlor of the Alumnae House that following morning. He was carrying
a floral tote bag that he is certain is from a bookstore in Brooklyn, but is uncertain how he acquired it. In it was Kumar’s latest book, “My Beloved Life,” which I found really sweet. Greenwell initially went to school for music, inspired by his high school choir teacher, who introduced him to opera. “That just radically changed my life, changed my sense of what the world could be, what the world could contain,” he explained. Though he switched majors his junior year of college, opera has remained an important part of his life, weaving its way into his work: “[Opera] was my first experience of narrative. My second book has a very strange structure; I think of it like a song cycle, like a Schubert,” he said. After graduate school, Greenwell began to teach ninth and 10th-grade English. He described teaching as one of the most extraordinary privileges a writer can dream of having. “[Teaching] is a big part of what led me to become interested in stories and narratives and in other people, in characters…I think a novelist’s job is to be interested in people.” Reflecting on his years teaching, he remembered, with disdain, how his work was dismissed by colleagues and family. “I would just see the light go out of their eyes. And then, if a minute or two later I said, oh, but you know, I’m also doing a Ph.D. at Harvard, the light would come back.” Accepting this binary of reactions was difficult, but critical for Greenwell. Though he told me he does not believe in advice, he wants the aspiring artist to know
discusses
that to be an artist is to fail. “In the eyes of the world, you’re going to look like a failure,” he said. “But it wasn’t failure because every morning I was waking up and I was working on my art.” It was not until he left his Ph.D. program that Greenwell felt as though he became a writer. After a few years teaching in Ann Arbor, Michigan, Greenwell accepted a teaching position in Bulgaria in 2009. In the four years he lived in Sofia, he and his students fought to establish the first high school Gay-Straight-Alliance in the Balkans, which finally came to fruition the year after he left. “Bulgaria had only very recently joined the EU, so there were really inspiring people who were, I mean, really putting their wellbeing on the line to advance human rights.” While his first two novels, “What Belongs to You” and “Cleanness,” appear autobiographical—both relayed from the perspective of a gay American teacher living in Sofia—Greenwell strongly insists that the narrator is not him. Rather, he repurposes his lived experiences in the same way that a sculptor might repurpose found materials. “If an artist sees a hubcap on the street and picks it up and takes it to her studio and paints it, or hammers it, puts dents in it and then puts it inside a frame—it’s not exactly a hubcap anymore,” he explained. “Small Rain,” set entirely in an American hospital, is also inspired by real events, but is completely fictitious. “I did have this experience of going through a medical crisis and I needed to think about it,” Greenwell said, “And fiction is the way I think about
February 15, 2024
poetry,
love
things.” In addition to thinking about his health crisis, “Small Rain” was also a way for Greenwell to think about his longtime partner. He alluded to his upbringing in rural Kentucky, where he was part of the first generation of his family to be raised away from a tobacco farm, having skewed his perception of relationships: “I have found myself for the past 10 years now in a kind of relationship that was for me just literally unimaginable for much of my life.” This “kind of relationship,” he elaborated, is largely structured around the mundane. “Over the last few years, the last thing I did before sleeping was hug my partner. And the first thing I did on waking was hug my partner. That is a profound thing. And that, too, is something I need art in order to think about.”
[Greenwell] described teaching as one of the most extraordinary privileges a writer can dream of having. Profundity—particularly profundity created from “daily life”—is what Greenwell cares most about. “Human beings are meaning-making animals. So far as we know, maybe we’re the only meaning-making animals,” he said as our interview concluded. “Maybe dolphins make meaning too. But our purpose is to make meaning.”
Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
February 15, 2024
FEATURES
Page 7
100 Nights sets high expectations for future senior events Continued from Seniors on page 1 ger beer drink. The brightly colored drinks in seniors’ hands contributed to the feeling that we had been transported back to the era of Jay Gatsby, prohibition and the preGreat Depression cultural high. Perhaps the highlight of the evening was the intricate murder mystery orchestrated by the Senior Class Council. Introduced at 8:30 p.m. by two students throwing a dummy with John Bradley’s face off a balcony in the refreshments room, it featured a variety of characters. Many of these were on the Council themselves, but a few special guests, such as President Bradley herself, accompanied by John Bradley, were included. Each character, dressed in their own unique outfit, had a puzzle or a set of clues that needed to be solved in order to eliminate suspects and narrow in on the one suspect who had actually committed the crime of pushing “John Bradley” off of
The Senior Class Council had enticed students with varied offerings, including a prosecco bar, jazz, poker and, the main event of the night, a murder mystery beginning 30 minutes after the start of the event. the balcony. Students flitted throughout the rooms in search of all the characters and all of the clues, intent on discovering the culprit. One senior, Noah Babb, noted
in a written correspondence, “The camp of the characters that everyone played, especially [President Bradley]’s, got me excited to run around Alumnae House and solve word searches, which is something I’d never thought would happen.” At 10 p.m., the final perpetrator was revealed via an announcement. Cheers filled the room as seniors discovered whether their guesses had been correct. Tucked away behind the refreshment room was the poker room. Students were engrossed in the games, and shouts of excitement could be heard throughout. A table for craps (a dice game) was also set up in the library, one of the main destinations for those solving the murder mystery. Across the room was a shelf of yearbooks, ranging from 100 years ago to the present day. The yearbook from 1924 was displayed on a table in front of the shelf, and students flipped through it and reflected on their
place in Vassar’s history. “My favorite part was looking at the yearbook. I looked at the yearbooks, the one from 100 years ago, and that was intriguing to see what life was like 100 years ago,” Abby Kotar ’24 said. “They mentioned the Jewett fire alarms and that was kind of nostalgic because we were like ‘They also had fire alarms!’” Overall, the event far surpassed expectations set by last semester’s senior event—99 Nights—which was a silent disco, and did not provide much variety from usual Vassar events. 100 Nights gave us all an activity to participate in. Babb explained, “The senior council was able to balance the ‘partying’ aspect with the overarching theme of ‘100 years ago,’ and weave in an exciting murder mystery on top of it all.” 100 Nights also raised the stakes for the Senior Class Council. As Jordan Shamoun ’24 said, “It sets the bar high for the other senior events because it was a really successful event.”
Courtesy of Alanah Cohen-Tigor ’24.
Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
HUMOR
Page 8
Redrawing Allen Hale
Stating the Obvious
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ith a few perceptive remedies, We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, can achieve an aesthetically pleasing and geographically sensitive map. As a semi-professional cartographer and human being with two eyes, I could ramble for hours about the various failures of the U.S. map. Despite this perilous situation, I believe that hope for a better future need not be abandoned.. Below is the outline for my seven-step plan. Step one: East West, Wast Eest; North South, Sorth Nouth We need to start by simplifying. Big Carolina. Big Virginia. Big Dakota. Vermont and New Hampshire fuse into Vershire. Fuck it, Massachusetts gets Maine back after 204 years. Might as well throw in Rhode Island for good measure. The four corners states (Utah, Arizona, Colorado and New Mexico) become The One Corner. To put this in business terms, we’re all about horizontal integration. Finance major bros from Connecticut get it. Step two: Panhandlez 4 dayz Idaho’s panhandle will extend through the border into Canada until it reaches the Arctic, requiring partial annexation of our irrelevant neighbors. Sorry, eh? Unlike Nikki Haley’s fervent desire to send troops over the border into Mexico, I think that our nation should look northward; we can give Canada the state of Washington in return. Nebraska’s panhandle will finally reach the Pacific, introducing former residents of Nevada, Oregon and California to the fast food chain Runza. Since everything is bigger in Texas—including its panhandle—this territory will also extend up into Nebraska. Apologies to Oklahoma, but they’re just not the guy for the job. The Florida Belt, an extension into Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana, will finally be completed; this cannot divide any states in half, owing to the stipulation of our previous step. Connecticut also has a panhandle, but nobody cares. Step three: Wyoming Why-oming? Get it? Why is it there? Just give it to Montana. Definitely don’t give it to Connecticut. Connecticut would not be able to handle the task.
the
U.S.
Step four: City-States If you’re a fan of ancient Greece, Singapore or the Pope, you’re in luck! If you’re a fan of all three, something odd is going on in your head. Since anything north of the Bronx is upstate, New York will become separate from “The City,” in honor of what every annoying local calls it. “The” will be emphasized in spoken language like THE Ohio State University. Los Angeles is probably peeved that we didn’t consider them first, so they receive this desig-
The four corners states (Utah, Arizona, Colorado and New Mexico) become The One Corner. To put this in business terms, we’re all about horizontal integration. Finance major bros from Connecticut get it. nation as well. Inferiority complex alert! Chicago gets FOMO easily, so we’ll have to give it to them too. Washington D.C. is basically this sort of deal already. Shit, Houston and Phoenix are on the phone. I receive a call from an 860 number. Location: Hartford, Connecticut. I hang up. Step five: Jenga This is related to step one but under a unique principle: we need to balance our topsy-turvy corridors. Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri and Arkansas become The Blocks. Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan, Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky and Tennessee add up to… something? Here’s a fresh name: Middle America, like a featureless version of Middle Earth. Maryland, Delaware and Pennsylvania are now collectively governed by the Empire of Wawa. Connecticut is double-texting to ask what will happen to them, and it’s starting to get on my nerves. Step six: The annihilation of New Jersey In “Beyond Good and Evil,” philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche stated that “if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.” One should keep this in mind
February 15, 2024
Map A Love Poem
when dealing with the boundaries defining the problem area known as New Jersey. Perhaps it’s best that we just do away with the state altogether. If we get around to it, Connecticut goes on the chopping block as well. To be honest, they do not even warrant the attention of the spotlight. Step seven: Examining the unscathed Through faith alone, Georgia remains the same. This also applies to Hawaii and Alaska since I forgot about them. They’re just soooo far away. Regrettably, it looks like Connecticut survived the execution. I refuse to touch something poisonous, so I will be forced to leave that hellhole unchanged. Drawing arbitrary boundaries in the process of nation-building has never gone wrong. Owing to this precedent, I’m sure everyone will be satisfied with my plan! This holistic approach avoids belittling or ignoring any
Nebraska’s panhandle will finally reach the Pacific, introducing former residents of Nevada, Oregon and California to the fast food chain Runza. Since everything is bigger in Texas—including its panhandle—this territory will also expand to Nebraska. state, so long as they aren’t random as hell or boring or useless or stupid or insignificant. Did I mention boring? Seriously, what even is Kansas? Unlike current regional biases dividing people by made-up lines, future generations of Americans will experience newfound tranquility through carefully curated processes of geographical re-organization. My motto has always been “better lines, better people.” An ensuing love will sweep across the land, reaching all of us. Except for those troglodytes from Connecticut. They deserve nothing.
Josie Wenner Cosmonaut
My love sauntered into the room A face as lovely as a flower-covered tomb My beau’s bright eyes shone like stars Catapulting me all the way to Mars I’m in outer space, you set me free To float around without misery I begin my stellar journey at the sun It reminds me that you’re the only one The center of our solar system, and you’re the center of mine A planet and a love that’s oh-so-divine I leave the sun, and soar through the heavens And arrive at planet number eight minus seven They say Mercury brings confusion in retrograde But no matter what, my love will never fade If you’re my Mercury, then let me be poisoned I’ll see my reflection shining silver, like a beaned Illinoisan Venus is next, the planet of love Sulfurous clouds belching above My stomach feels like Venus whenever I’m near you My love makes me nervous, though I never shall fear you I circle the earth, on my intergalactic journey of romance Returning home yet? No, not a chance! They say absence makes the heart grow fonder And I want you to want me forever and longer Mars is next, red, red like my heart Which runs like a car engine with a push-tostart You set me ablaze, I cannot deny And I won’t be extinguished, no matter how hard I try They say boys go to Jupiter, to get more stupider I found none, just gas, but I’m no quitter Jupiter’s red spot, an eternal storm Like my love rages on, and keeps us both warm We’re not the sun and the moon, but Saturn’s rings Orbiting around a single thing Our love a planet, us surrounding Joyful proclamations resounding Second to last, the planet Uranus Here, I could make a joke so heinous But I’ll say it’s the only planet on a horizontal axis Just as your love makes me swoon, and my head spin so fast-is Neptune the final, named for the god of the ocean A romantic beach trip would put my heart in motion Neptune so cold, negative three seventy-three But you warm my soul, and fill me with glee Pluto forgotten, Pluto alone Poem’s getting long, no time to atone!
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
I come down to Earth, from my trip through the stars I gaze in your eyes, and I sigh from afar You made me an astronaut, sent me through space And I love you no matter the time or the place
HUMOR
February 15, 2024
Page 9
Guys playing football rudely block view of Taylor Swift Benjamin Savel American Foot
T
his Sunday at 6:30 p.m., one of the most anticipated events of the year was streamed on live television, garnering one of the largest national audiences in television history. Attracting millions of viewers and a stadium full of dedicated fans, Taylor Swift watched her boyfriend play a football game. Many fans were infuriated that a few random guys playing football occasionally got the spotlight over Taylor Swift. “Yeah, at the end, a bunch of people started celebrating really hard and the camera only focused on them,” Dhisapoy N’ted Swiftieh noted. “I hardly got to see Taylor!” For the few people that are watching the event for the football, the stadium is offering a free rock holder for each participant to store the rocks they have been living under for the past few decades. People now know what the sports industry is because of Taylor Swift. Soon, Swift will give other overlooked activities a boost with her presence, including eating and drinking. “Man, this ‘food’ thing is excellent! I’m glad Taylor Swift helped me hear about it,” Stahr S. Truhck said. The numbers speak for themselves in regard to Swift’s popularity. In fact, since Swift started the trendy new practice of breathing in 1989, several billion people have started breathing. One enthusiast who claims he was watching the game only for the football says he was upset at all of the attention Tay-
Super
lor got over his obscure hobby. “I just wanted to see how the quarterback was making his plays!” he shouted. After attracting intense criticism for his statements, he was told to “shake it off, shake it off” and was informed he was acting like he was 22. In addition to disrupting the sports industry, the event shook up the field of professional media. Shockingly, over 2,000 sports journalists, videographers and reporters instantaneously quit their jobs to switch to reporting on popular music. The reason this event is so shocking, one media analyst explained, is because it means they weren’t covering Taylor Swift as their fulltime jobs already.
Ball
A
h! Nothing like the yearly celebration of watching full-grown men smash into each other at high speeds at the number one breeding ground for CTE. As the number one sports fan (obviously—I definitely did not watch the game just to see Michael Cera moisturize a rock with CeraVe), I feel the inordinate burden of providing my expert athletic opinions. What exactly are those opinions? Well, they’re mainly just my gripes with football as an institution. Timing Football is considered the heart and soul of this nation. It’s incredibly patriotic and incredibly American. When I speak about football, my moral compass—the devil and angel on my shoulder—transform into two bald eagles with classic mullets. But what does it say about this country that a simple one-hourlong game actually takes three to four hours? There are four quarters, each lasting 15 minutes. If I learned basic mathematics correctly, then that should make an hour-long game. Correct? Wrong. Because football is nothing more than an expansion of America’s failed public education system. We don’t fund our schools correctly, and because of that, when we send our best and brightest off to careers as
Because in their minds, 15 minutes times four is actually four hours. sports inventors, they can’t do basic arithmetic. Because, in their minds, 15 minutes times four is actually four hours. Four hours in
she watched. When asked for her opinions 25 minutes after the game ended, Maria Sowned Bhite concluded about the sport, “I forgot that you existed.”
In fact, since Swift started the trendy new practice of breathing in 1989, several billion people have started breathing. Swift, in reports, thought it was cute that they even offered amateur music in the middle of the football game. According to Rolling Stone, Usher, the R&B halftime singer, is one of the best-selling artists of all time, having sold over 80 million albums. “Aww, that’s nice,” one Swiftie noted. “He was good enough that he could probably get weekend gigs singing sometimes.” Other fans were more confused than delighted by the entertainment. “I didn’t know
Bowl:
Cassandra Brook
this ‘music’ thing existed outside of Taylor Swift,” Tunheel Viziahn noted. Overall, Taylor Swift fans have remained steadfast in their views of the sport
Was
it
which the number of ads outweighs the playing time three to one. Four hours in which I think I actually saw Usher have longer consecutive movements than any of the players added together. In fact, I think I saw Usher sweat way more than any athlete because, frankly, he played for more than 20 seconds at a time, and also, he just sweats a lot. Someone needs to check up on him. He was sweating like a platypus sweats her milk when her platypus children are ravenous. Back to sports, though: why is football so slow? I thought we were a fast-moving country. A progressive country that created genius inventions like the indestructible Wonder Bread, the world’s largest rubber band ball and the unforgettable tune of the Empire jingle. Frankly, I thought we were a Chevrolet commercial where a car scales a mountain, swishing snow in its tracks. I thought we were moving. But if football is as quintessentially American as we are told it is, America must be a speed-walking race in a retirement home. America must be the DMV because a game of football is as lengthy as trying to get your permit. You passed the permit test three hours ago and nobody else is in the DMV, but you won’t get your permit for at least another hour. Football is actually just the athletic version of a filibuster. So gear up to watch another hour of 15-second clips of running, or, watch old clips of Ted Cruz reciting “Green Eggs and Ham” in the Senate for an equally rapid performance. Introductions Unlike Key and Peele’s hilarious East/West College Bowl Series, the Super Bowl does not display epic introductions of players with goofy names. In fact, I don’t recall being introduced to the players at all. How am I supposed to care about the athletes when I can’t identify who looks like they would be a high
Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
really
that
school bully and who looks like they would help an old woman cross the street? All I got
When I speak about football, my moral compass—the devil and angel on my shoulder— transform into two bald eagles with classic mullets. was those tiny images of players on the bottom of the screen while the game was already going. Now I have to spend my time trying to link Brock Purdy to a player on the field when they all are in the exact same outfit. It’s like trying to find Where’s Waldo or a specific preteen buying a Stanley cup at Target. They all look the same. I don’t care about the players because the broadcasters never told me who they are or what their story is. You know, the Super Bowl could learn a thing or two from “American Idol,” where, sometimes, the backstory is more important than the actual singing. Inclusivity This gripe is actually a genuine gripe, not some complaint I have because I’m unathletic and I don’t really understand sports. I took five years of American Sign Language (ASL) in high school, and my teacher always taught me to pay attention to the Super Bowl because the one thing that the broadcast never does is show the interpreter. For Deaf football fans everywhere, it’s incredibly important to show the interpreter during the national
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
super?
anthem and the halftime show. Just looking at the national anthem, I think I saw the interpreter one time before the song actually started. Instead of an interpreter—an essential aspect of inclusive broadcasting—I saw a clip of a random man crying. How is that more important? I don’t think anybody cares that a player who will make no other specific appearances throughout the entire game loves the national anthem so much he’s in tears. Reba McEntire was good, but she was not that good. Nobody is good enough for the streams that I saw running down that man’s face. He really did listen when Justin Timberlake said “Cry Me a River.” The news also broadcast an entire 10-second clip of the stadium. Not the people in it. Not the field. The outside of the stadium. An undecorated sphere. There was quite literally nothing to see there because the broadcasters obviously couldn’t think of anything to display. But what they could have displayed—the obvious visual answer—would be the interpreter who spent significant time preparing for this moment. The interpreter who worked incredibly hard crafting an interpretation of the national anthem to display at one of the most watched events of the year. But the interpreter was entirely ignored. And we know from last year’s interpreter of Rihanna’s halftime show that people actually like the interpretations. People loved the interpreter’s performance, and she went ultra-viral. So where was the interpretation this year? Where was the inclusivity? It must’ve gotten stuck waiting in the DMV line. Despite all of my gripes with this year’s annual celebration of middle-aged men living vicariously through football players who will never know they exist, I enjoyed the Super Bowl. I’ll take any excuse to eat wings and endless chips and dip. Because, for me, it all comes down to food. And Michael Cera, obviously.
HUMOR
Page 10
February 15, 2024
The library is lit up by communism…or just red lights? Emma daRosa Red Herring
I
n a stunning revelation that has rocked the whole campus, sources close to the administration have suggested that the fascinating red lights adorning the exterior of the historic Thompson Memorial Library may not merely be an innocent fundraising effort, but rather a sign of a covert communist takeover. The library, a bastion of knowledge and quiet study, has long been a symbol of academic pursuit at Vassar. Yet recent observations by vigilant students and curious locals have raised eyebrows and prompted wild speculation about the true nature of the building’s distinctive lighting. “It’s like something out of a spy novel,” remarked sophomore Lance Liberty, who was recently spotted passing out flyers trying to warn students of this subtle takeover happening right under their noses. “First, it’s the red lights. Then, who knows? The next thing you know, we’ll all be reading Marx
I’ll get some help with my tuition payments! I think that’s what Marx would have wanted. The rumors of a communist coup d’état at Vassar have spread like wildfire across the social media platform Fizz, with edited depictions of Karl Marx perusing the library’s catalog and calls for a rise of the working class covering the Fizzin’ page. It seems that the campus is alight more than ever with hope for the sharing of resources. My first order of business will be to knock down the walls around my coffin single and start to share the space in Jewett equally.
In an attempt to quell the mounting excitement, Vassar College President Dr. Elizabeth Bradley addressed the concerns during a hastily arranged press conference. “Let me assure you that the Thompson Memorial Library remains steadfastly dedicated to the principles of academic freedom and intellectual inquiry,” she declared. However, as the sun sets over the Hudson Valley and the red lights of the library begin to glow, conspiracy theorists and pranksters alike continue to fuel the rumors of communist infiltration. Whether it’s a genuine
concern or just the result of Vassar students searching for controversy to Fizz about remains to be seen. It seems highly unlikely that communism has indeed found a new home amid the stacks of books. I don’t think anyone really knows what purpose the red lights serve, and I don’t think we ever will. Ultimately, I’m happy to report that everyone can rest assured knowing that Vassar remains committed to capitalism and the unequal distribution of resources and wages amongst our professors! Yay!!!
The rumors of a communist coup d’état at Vassar have spread like wildfire across the social media platform Fizz, with edited depictions of Karl Marx perusing the library’s catalog and calls for a rise of the working class covering the Fizzin’ page. and Lenin in every class.” I chose to not disclose to Liberty that I was recently assigned a reading from Marx in my anthropological theory class. On a personal note, I don’t really mind this whole communism idea. Maybe
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
February 15, 2024
OPINIONS
Page 11
Gen Z’s housing crisis extends to reproductive care Maryam Bacchus Editor-in-Chief
A
few weeks ago, I was scrolling on Instagram and came across an infographic from the New York Times. The title was a question: Where Can Gen Z Buy a Home? The post was subsequently broken down into two columns, easiest and hardest cities to buy a home. The data was computed based on ratios of average earnings and home prices. I was dismayed to realize that the places I would want to live in the future were all in the latter column. Looking to commiserate, I opened the comments section. As I began scrolling, I realized many comments were authored by women, specifically pointing out that most of the locations in the hardest to buy column are in states with restrictive reproductive rights. Many shared the same sentiment: women in our generation should not be forced to choose between protecting their reproductive rights and owning a home. I concur with their feelings, and believe that these protections should be ex-
tended to any individual regardless of gender. Since the historic overturn of the landmark case Roe v. Wade in mid-2022, several states have enacted stricter laws surrounding access to abortion, birth control and reproductive care, particularly in the American South. Notably, Texas and many of the surrounding states have put into place full bans, even going so far as to criminalize abortion. Out of the 10 cities in the easiest to buy column, five are located in states that have a full abortion ban in effect, and another three are in states that have bans after a gestational limit. Texas is mentioned three times in the easiest to buy column, the most out of any state in the column. If I were to move there, I would live in fear of needing access to medical care that is expressly forbidden. In addition, I would worry about what other rights may be taken away from me, given that the political climate of the South is vastly different from that of the Northeast, where I grew up.
In the last few years, many women have taken to the internet to share their experiences living in states with abortion bans. In an article by NPR, several women residing in these locations shared their pregnancy stories, where emergency reproductive care was needed. One woman, Texas resident Dani Rios, recounted her experience of having a miscarriage, yet being forced to deliver her baby naturally. She wanted to end the pregnancy as the fetus was no longer viable, but due to restrictions, nothing could be done in her home state. Rios and her family weighed the options of flying to states without restrictions for her to access care, but faced long waitlists. She ended up developing an infection, and only then were doctors in her home state able to induce her and have her deliver the baby naturally. States like New York, California and many others on the American coasts have pledged to protect access to abortion and placed new protections in place, some of which can be honored interstate. Yet, seven out of the 10 locations in the hardest to buy column are
located in the state of California. Therefore, protecting my reproductive rights would come at a high cost of housing. Accounting for general cost of living, Texas ranks less than New York, the former ranking below the national average and the latter being significantly above. Not only is housing disproportionate, but day-to-day cost is as well. In just over a year, I will be faced with the decision of whether to pursue graduate school, or take some amount of time off from school and enter the workforce. A big factor in this decision is finances and, by extension, cost of living. Many graduate schools are in big cities where I would professionally thrive, yet affording rent and necessities on the typically low stipend while saving to eventually purchase a home would be near impossible. If I choose to enter the workforce, where I live will be less restricted, yet areas with low cost of living where I could both afford essentials and save for the future restrict necessary rights. But, at what point does cost of living outweigh secure reproductive rights and mental peace?
Political theatre is a threat to combating climate change Soren Fischer Columnist
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olitical theatre (the dramatic nature of modern politics) is largely responsible for advancing political polarization in the United States. The usage of political statements to sway public opinion is inextricably linked with the political climate, no pun intended, of our society. Combating climate change and developing alternative energy in place of fossil fuels has become increasingly politicized. With fossil fuels contributing to 60.4 percent of electricity generation in 2022, incomparable to only 21.3 percent of renewable sources, per the Energy Information Administration, we still have a long way to go. Unfortunately, it seems that those in power—particularly elected officials and media personalities—actively seek to use the climate crisis as a launching pad for creating division and preventing collaboration on an issue that is affecting all of us; that is, political theatre. The reality is, energy consumption and climate change are some of the most highly partisan and polarized issues, which I would argue are nearly synonymous in our current society, up there with gun control and abortion rights. According to a Pew Research Forum survey from 2023, 67 percent of Americans say that alternative energy should be further explored and prioritized, while 32 percent maintain that fossil fuels should still be prioritized. However, only 31 percent are prepared to go entirely alternative, with 68 percent suggesting a combination of energy
sources. Where this mindset can get frightening is the blatant ignorance of the 35 percent of Americans who never want to stop using traditional energy sources. This divide is amplified even further when political affiliation is considered. According to the same study, 87 percent of Republicans and Republican-leaning Independents support mixing energy sources, but 57 percent believe in always using fossil fuels. On the other hand, 48 percent of Democrats and Democratic-leaning Independents support filtering out traditional energy sources now, with 51 percent supporting a mix of alternative and traditional. Nonetheless, of that slim majority, 35 percent want to eventually phase out fossil fuels, with just 15 percent saying that the United States should never cease using fossil fuels. Political theatre is a tool of divergence that seeks to separate us along party lines. While politicians appear to be making strong claims, they distract us through symbolism and publicity stunts, but often these dramatic attempts are too little to actually fix the issue. As a result, pointless political theatre. Elected officials and legislators exploit the media to further their own personal messages. However, that is not to say the media cannot be misleading when it comes to how they cover the theatre of politicians. Given how overused political theatre is, it is no surprise that public trust of the political process has been continuously falling for the last several decades and is reaching record lows. As recorded by Pew Research Forum, the average was 73 percent in 1958, compared to 16 percent in 2023, with a rath-
er steady decrease since 2001. In specifics to party affiliation, 25 percent of Democrats and Democratic-leaning Independents trust the federal government, at least most of the time. In contrast, only 8 percent of Republicans and Republican-leaning Independents do. Liberty and freedom. Two words that right-wing politicians and media personalities vomit out at their supporters through claims that the left is trying to take away their rights. When Vivek Ramaswamy launched his now-ended presidential campaign last February, he used extreme rhetoric, in a rather politically theatrical way, to pit the public against each other. According to the Associated Press, in reference to left-wing ideology, Ramaswamy claimed that “faith, patriotism and hard work” were being replaced by “new secular religions like COVID-ism, climate-ism and gender ideology.” Using something as politicized as COVID-19 when it was a public health emergency, in regard to masking and vaccination, along with discourse surrounding gender identity and expression, is clearly a scare tactic. The right continues to convince their supporters that the left is trying to force them to succumb to the left’s agenda. If people sense that politicians are more interested in fighting their political opposition and garnering publicity in the pursuit of holding onto power than working for the public’s concerns, the general public may become less likely to support the necessary policies for combating climate change since they know their voice is not being heard. There is every piece of evidence needed to show it is our real-
ity and that we need to take action or face the consequences. The idea that alternative energy is threatening jobs in the coal industry has been used as a tool of propaganda. With the existence of coal towns that are dependent upon the production and distribution of coal for their local economy, the apparent threat of transitioning over to wind or solar in lieu of coal is being used to create fear and bash renewable energy, as suggested by NPR. However, according to a 2022 study from the University of Michigan, wind and solar jobs can fully replace coal-based jobs. Regardless of this, for those who have worked in their respective fields for decades, learning a new job is difficult and the transition is no easy feat. It is important that those currently employed in the coal industry are given the opportunity to understand the transition to wind and solar jobs and are educated about the feasibility of alternative energy, to combat the misinformation surrounding climate change. While political theatre can amplify and bring to light an already existing issue, and perhaps even raise dialogue surrounding it, far too often it is overused and misused for furthering a political agenda. In the case of alternative energy and climate change, political theatre can diverge attention from the issues that really matter, strengthen political polarization, promote mistrust in the media and elected officials in general, delay confronting the climate crisis and continue to distort the reality of climate change until it really is too late.
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
OPINIONS
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‘Sephora
Tweens’
Jyotsna Naidu
Assistant Opinions Editor
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irst it was the “iPad kid,” then the “tradwife,” now the “Sephora Tween.” How will TikTok label and compartmentalize the next socio-political discourse? The problems with the “Sephora Tween” do not end with consumerism, holding tech companies accountable or even minimizing social media. TikTok makes us forget that these few stories (which are exaggerated, I feel) are not representative of the larger tween population. Behind the screens lie the lives of real, impressionable young girls who deserve our love, guidance and not to be shamed online. Rather than looking to fix society, we must begin with individual accountability to make spaces for creativity and individualism for both tweens and even ourselves, in college. For those not chronically online, “Sephora Tweens” are preteen girls who are messing up product displays and buying expensive makeup and skincare products without parental supervision. The key differentiation here between this and typical mall-going tween behavior is the pricey nature of the products purchased, as well as the unruly behavior and public shame associated with the “Sephora Tween.” But contrary to viral TikTok rhetoric, “Sephora Tweens” or any social media-labeled group are not taking over, single-handedly causing overconsumption or insert-next-apocalyptic-social-phenomenon-here. Most consumption-related social media
need
will just find other ways to access social media. I think rather than simply responding to the isolated, while still admittingly scary, phenomenon of the “Sephora Tween”, the focus should be on creating spaces for tweens to be silly, goofy tweens. One article by Upworthy notes the importance of tween-specific gathering spaces like Justice and Claire’s, and Teen Vogue speaks to the loss of tween fashion as forcing conformity to styles meant for older ages. If such a high bar of social acceptance thrust onto our next generation has created “Sephora Tweens”, the solution should be demanding creativity and dorkiness from our media landscape. But “Sephora Tweens” are not an esoteric, isolated phenomenon. When my friends talk about the “Sephora Tween”, we politicize by distancing ourselves. We talk about the ills of society instead of talking
We, too, are subject to these influences and pressures; they are only amplified through the “Sephora Tween”, shining a mirror to the young girl inside of us.
our
love,
February 15, 2024
not
about our lived experiences: the shame that is the strongest in those pre-teen years before you know who you are, the many awkward phases of various aesthetics, the realization that misogyny exists. We, too, are subject to these influences and pressures; they are only amplified through the “Sephora Tween”, shining a mirror to the young girl inside of us. “Sephora Tweens” urge my personal reflection on both limiting my consumption and broadly what I want out of my life; whether it is possible to live a happy, full life if I do not wear retinol or know what I want my career to be. Khadija Mbowe’s video essay notes how the age range of 1024 has been lumped into one marketed age group, leading to the disappearance of tweens. Teenagers forced to act like adults have made tweens want to be teenagers. The balancing act of age is working to grow up, to fit in, to make it, to be that girl while not losing individuality, and now the “Sephora Tween” shows us that pressure is starting even younger. As college students, we are in the prime of contemplation as our lives are ahead of us, a cliche but still powerful truth. It is the time for many of us of the greatest independence over what we study, eat, wear, buy—all consumption choices. We also have choices to learn, to explore, to meet new people, to step out of our comfort zones. The reason why the “Sephora Tween” exists is because we made her exist. Similarly, the working adults we will one day be are a reflection of our choices now.
our
hate
While Vassar has a reputation for being individualistic, most clearly through the fashion sense of its students, I think we are all still quite influenced in our media choices and life goals. While I am an adult woman pursuing higher education, sometimes I am just a girl. Hopefully, the presence of “Sephora Tweens” can remind us college students that we, too, should focus on simply being students, rather than succumb to the existential crisis that is graduating and career climbing. One tangible means for reducing your ability to be influenced is controlling your
The reason why the “Sephora Tween” exists is because we made her exist. “For You” page, making it actually for you. Viewing influence outside of big socio-political terms helps to make sense of it and take action on an individual scale. You can click on harmful posts and request to see fewer posts like them. You can engage with videos that make you giggle. You can set limits on the time you spend on apps and turn off notifications. I also find Pinterest and Twitter more user-driven than the doomscrolling encouraged by Instagram or TikTok. Only you can take control of your own consumption.
If such a high bar of social acceptance thrust onto our next generation has created “Sephora Tweens”, the solution should be demanding creativity and dorkiness from our media landscape.
trends are to influence the viewer: The VSCO girl made us all buy scrunchies, the Stanley cup craze made lines stretch outside Target stores, the viral baked feta pasta led to high feta demand. In contrast to encouraging consumption, the “Sephora Tween” label aims to criticize the individual lavish consumption habits of tweens to speak to the broader, capitalism-induced loss of childhood. However, in the process of systemic critique, it is the tweens, not the companies, that are shamed and denied compassion. Especially when it is through social media discourse where these labels come alive and are debated, TikTok holds power despite fueling this crisis. Criticism is the start and end of social media discourse. If the only response to the exclusionary, expensive tastes and messy practices of the “Sephora Tween” is to shame and politicize, when and where can tweens find spaces to talk about what they even want for themselves? It is important to note that simply restricting social media or shaming behavior are easy, unsustainable fixes, where neither children nor chronically-online college students (speaking from personal experience) will respond positively. They
Image courtesy of pickpic.com. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
February 15, 2024
SPORTS
Page 13
Kansas City wins second consecutive Super Bowl Henry France Columnist
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n Sunday night, the Kansas City Chiefs defeated the San Francisco 49ers in overtime by a score of 25-22 to win their second consecutive Super Bowl. The Chiefs became the first team to win back-to-back in 19 years since the New England Patriots in 2004, led by legendary quarterback Tom Brady. Brady, often referred to as the GOAT—the greatest of all time—had a phenomenal career, holding the NFL record for wins and Super Bowl MVPs, complemented by his seven total Lombardi trophies. With the chance to win three championships in a row, Patrick Mahomes, in only his 7th NFL season, has set himself up to solidify his contention in the GOAT conversation. But before looking toward next season, we’ll rewind to Sunday night’s matchup. Kansas City and San Francisco squared off in a rematch of their 2020 Super Bowl matchup. Both teams looked noticeably different. San Francisco added all-pro running back Christian McCaffery and Kansas City lost all-pro wide receiver Tyreek Hill. Most notably, the 49ers were led by quarterback Brock Purdy—the very last selection in the 2022 NFL draft. Coined as “Mr. Irrelevant,” Purdy first entered the scene in Week Eight against the Miami Dolphins as starting quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo left the game with an injury. With the opportunity to win a national championship, all eyes were on Purdy. Kansas City kicked the ball off to the 49ers to start the game, deciding to put the pressure on the young quarterback. But Purdy looked comfortable. He made routine throws and managed the San Francisco offense well. Despite not scoring in the first quarter, the 49ers looked solid. On the other hand, the Chiefs looked utterly uncomfortable during the first half. Tight end Travis Kelce caught one pass for one yard and Kansas City failed to post even one touchdown. The entire first half of the
game was fairly lackadaisical, dominated by defensive prowess. The 49ers came out firing, but were stifled by an array of sloppy mistakes and poorly timed penalties. Eventually, San Francisco coach Kyle Shanahan opened up the playbook, scoring the game’s first touchdown on a trick play that featured two passes behind the line of scrimmage to give San Fransisco a 10-0 lead. Kansas City knocked in a field goal to cut the lead to a one-score just a couple drives later. Going into the second half, the game felt a bit sluggish. Scoring was infrequent and dominated by unexciting field goals. After five minutes or so of commercials, Usher took the stage for the Apple Music Super Bowl halftime show. Usher’s flashy performance included the eight-time Grammy winner stripping his shirt off on national television then roller skating on stage, and featured Alicia Keys and Lil Jon (among others). While viewers reconciled the performance, the Chiefs had some of their own reflection to do. The Chiefs were down a touchdown as the third quarter began, and with the pressure on, Kansas City answered. When trailing by one score or more after the first half throughout his career, Mahomes’ record was 8-2. Now, he is 9-2. The change in energy was due to two main factors: Mahomes locked in, and the 49ers faded. Specifically, Kansas City’s offense found a rhythm and opened up their playbook. On the other hand, the 49ers dealt with injuries all game. 49ers star linebacker Drake Greenlaw tore his Achilles tendon while running on to the field early in the game. Nevertheless, San Francisco’s defense absolutely suffocated Mahomes and Kelce at the onset of the match.The Niners’ defense displayed utter physicality and poise, forcing a turnover to start each half with a forced fumble in the first quarter and an interception in the third. However, this focus was interrupted when Mahomes found his composure. Despite being pressured on 22 of his 55 dropbacks, the
Kansas City quarterback still averaged 7.2 yards per pass attempt, recording just one turnover-worthy play. As the second half got underway, there was an almost instant shift in the tide. San Francisco quarterback Purdy’s angst got to him as San Francisco saw three consecutive three-and-outs to start the second half for the 49ers. While Kansas City’s defense dialed in to start the latter half of the game, things started to get messy for Purdy and the Niners. When San Francisco punt returner Ray-Ray McCloud III failed to recover a punt that hit another 49er on their foot and gave Patrick Mahomes the ball in the red zone, even I could feel San Francisco’s nerves from 2,500 miles away. One play later, Kansas City cashed in on the mistake with a touchdown to take the lead. At that moment, all the momentum was behind the Kansas City Chiefs. Heading into the fourth quarter, Kansas City led by just three points—one single field goal. A backand-forth final quarter was underscored by a missed extra point from 49ers rookie kicker Jake Moody. After a clutch touchdown pass which put the Niners back up by three points, the Kansas City Chiefs tipped Moody’s extra point kick to limit San Francisco’s lead to three. Before this attempt, Moody was 68 for 68 on extra points on the year. Two field goals from each squad later, the Niners held onto their three-point lead as they punted the ball to Kansas City. With under two minutes left, in the biggest game of the year, the 49ers made a critical mistake. At that moment the Chiefs’ win felt inevitable. Of the billions of humans on planet Earth, two-time NFL Most Valuable Player and now three-time champion quarterback Mahomes was the last person the Niners wanted to shepherd his team 75 yards down the field. Kansas City’s iconic quarterback-tight end duo of Mahomes and Kelce clicked when most critical. Kelce caught a 22-yard reception to set up
the Chiefs within the 25-yard line. Nevertheless, Taylor Swift would have to wait to descend onto the field to celebrate with her boyfriend Travis Kelce—San Francisco stopped the Chiefs when they seemed most unstoppable. The Chiefs were forced to kick a 26-yard field goal with three seconds left in regulation. For just the second time in Super Bowl history, we were going to get to see an overtime period. Purdy found a way to lock back in. After an uninspiring first few plays, San Francisco nearly turned the ball over in their own defensive quarter of the field. A sloppy penalty resuscitated San Francisco. The squad marched down the field, finding themselves on Kansas City’s own nine-yard line. With the opportunity to score a touchdown, which would have forced KC to do the same or lose the game, the Niners failed to execute, opting to kick a field goal. With the new overtime rules in place, allowing both teams an opportunity to score, the Chiefs now had the chance to kick another field goal to keep the game going, or score a touchdown to win the National Championship. Mahomes was done waiting. He locked in when it mattered most and charged down the field, even scrambling on a fourth down to keep Kansas City alive. Mahomes passed the ball to wide-open receiver Mecole Hardman on a touchdown pass that crowned the Chiefs champions, for the third time in five years. Confetti poured onto the grass of Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas, and a dynasty was born. The audience received their expected shot of Taylor Swift jumping with joy and Mahomes laying on the grass, soaking in the moment. The first thing on Kansas City’s mind: Let’s win three in a row. A feat that has never been accomplished in NFL history was up for grabs now, and Kelce made sure to point that out in a post game interview—Mahomes even alluded to the team’s youth. Kansas City has built a team that is here to stay.
Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
SPORTS
Page 14
February 15, 2024
Brewers Ballin’: Schoenegge places third in 3000 meter race Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing. If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email nvillamil@vassar.edu.
Brewers Ballin’ Name: Haley Schoenegge Year: First-year Team: Track and Field Race: 3000-meter in Big Apple Invitational, Feb. 11 Stats: Time of 10:09.19 earned third overall and top Division III finisher Statement: “Running one of the last events of the meet always heightens my nerves, but my teammates laying down really impressive races before me boosted my confidence and gave me permission to go outside my comfort zone. I’m so grateful to be a first year on a team with upperclassmen who are such incredible leaders. It gives me the ability to take risks and make the most of every race. I’m learning from each race and look forward to how our team progresses as we head into championship season!” Image courtesy of Haley Schoenegge ‘27.
Box
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Women’s
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MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
defeats
RIT
February 15, 2024
CROSSWORD
Page 15
The Miscellany Games Category Match By Sadie Keesbury In the word bank below, there are 16 words that belong to four categories. Each word belongs to only one category. You don’t know which words belong together, nor do you know what the categories are! Try to find similarities between them, and place them into four categories below. Answers (which words belong together, as well as the categories they belong to) will be revealed in next week’s issue. Have fun! Example category: 1: Toyota Car Models COROLLA PRIUS TACOMA HIGHLANDER
WORD BANK CHEEP JEEP LEAP SLEEP BRIDGE BUGATTI SWIM SQUAWK LOG OUT FORD BMW CAW SHUT DOWN TOYOTA RESTART CHIRP
“Valentine’s Day Diss Track” By Julia Weinberg ACROSS 1. Type of antibody which means the body reacts poorly to allergens 4. What you are if you don’t have a date 6. Very literal dances 8. Spooky, var. 9. Sudden and momentary flow of electric current between two differently charged objects
Answers to last week’s puzzle: “Time for a Chop” By Sadie Keesbury
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
DOWN 1. What your S.O. might text you on Valentine’s Day 2. Someone who pulls has this 3. The THs need better ones of these 5. The Main House mascot has large ones of these 7. Nickname for “Euphoria” star Sweeney or an Australian city
CROSSWORD
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February 15, 2024
The Miscellany Crossword “Literary Lovers” By Sufana Noorwez and Peter Nydam
ACROSS: 1. Sob 4. Horrified/Minecraft nether monster 10. Five vowels 12. Squished tart 14. Home of the wolverines by the Great Lakes 15. Oz figurehead dripping with charisma (plural) 17. Little fuss 18. Famous Dick 19. Electronic woman of loose character 20. Geek squad member with a black belt 23. What you say when you realize a canine friend is there 25. General surroundings (French) 26. Opera singer Andrea 28. Split or snapped, green or blackeyed 29. Dickensian orphan engaged in a romantic rendezvous 31. What you say to someone with a
great lobe 32. Physician character who can speak to animals, and is also good with the ladies 36. Closest astral body 39. Snack, commonly dried by 36-Across 40. Goosebumps author 42. Player on the stage 43. Bivalves often consumed raw 44. Slang for photograph 45. Friend of this 48. Noitanimaxe 49. Five dice of a kind, multiple times 52. Largest artery 54. Enclave country in South Africa 55. Money/dough 56. Put a black and white cookie back together 57. Boston and Chicago teams
DOWN: 1. Iinveestmeent baank 2. Where we picked up keys at the start of the academic year 3. Doja Cat: “Get Into It (__)” 4. African music prefix 5. Silver-tongued 6. Foggy or obscured 7. Aritzia ticker 8. Relaxing destination 9. In a fatigued manner 10. Mother’s sister (affectionate) 11. Dorothy’s 10-Down at the Hollywood sign 13. Slangy school vacations (for UK residents) 16. After 23-Across, what you say when you want the canine friend to go away 17. Someone down bad with unreciprocated feelings 18. Extra-large center for computer repair on campus 21. “Drive”/“John Wick” genre 22. Juli’s eponymous street
23. Feminine version of 42-Across 24. Opposite of him 26. Red vegetable minus an O/ailment of the same vegetable 27. Method of taking medication 30. Where a sick puppy goes 32. Adjective for curtains or blankets 33. AFRS 248: “___ and Ethnic Group Politics in Popular Culture” 34. Henry Cavill used to play “The ____” 35. Bear in Barcelona 36. Little sleep in Seville 37. New emails are marked this way 38. Bird’s home 41. Triple thunder lizard 45. Four prefix, minus an a 46. Little giggle 47. “Hamilton actress” Phillip-_ ___ 50. Half of fly that spreads African Sleeping Sickness 51. Home of animals born in captivity 52. Tone these with a sit-up 53. Au in Acapulco
More Miscellany Games + Answers Inside!
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