Misc.03.22.23

The Miscellany News

Dr. Margaret Hamburg to speak at 159th Commencement

Nina Ajemian Editor-in-Chief

TheVassar Class of 2023 went on spring break its first year of college and didn’t return to campus until the following fall. Students took online classes in their childhood bedrooms. Their social lives condensed to pods. They lived in the suffocating “Vassar Bubble.” Seniors have watched the school they had briefly gotten to know slowly return to “normal” this past year, just as they prepare to leave. Despite these circumstances though, or perhaps because of them, members of the senior class have maintained an ever-present desire to make the most of what they have been given—to explore, to mess up, to work hard, to create a meaningful legacy.

It seems fitting, then, that Dr. Margaret “Peggy” Hamburg will be the speaker for the 159th Commencement ceremony on May 21, 2023, as she herself has created a meaningful legacy in the medical and public health fields.

Hamburg currently serves as Co-President of the InterAcademy Partnership (IAP), a global organization that brings together over 140 academies to tackle issues of public health, science and policy, per IAP’s website. In January 2023, President Joe Biden appointed Hamburg as Vice Chair of the President’s Intelligence Advisory Board, which provides counsel on the

Senior athletes say goodbye

As the academic year draws to a close, so do Vassar athletic seasons. Some sports have already wrapped up for the year, while others have just a few more months of training and competition. Senior athletes are playing—or perhaps already played—their last moments with their teams. Like all endings, this one is bittersweet for six Vassar athletes, who reflected on their final collegiate athletic seasons via written correspondence with The Miscellany News

Augusta Stockman ’23 runs for the women’s cross country and track and field teams. She reflected on her fall cross country season, saying, “Getting sixth as a team at Regionals in St. Lawrence, tying the second-best program finish, was definitely a highlight. It spoke to our growth over the season, not just competitively but also off the course as teammates and friends. The energy after that race was so positive, even though we ultimately missed an at-large bid to go to Nationals together, because that growth felt so tangible.” As team captain and the only senior that season, she is optimistic about the program's future: “We have an amazing class of first-years coming in next year, and I think that’s due in large part to the culture we cultivated

this year.”

Stockman reflected on how meaningful her involvement with these teams has been, especially during COVID. “Being a part of the XCTF program has without a doubt been the most meaningful part of my Vassar experience. That community was my rock throughout the pandemic,” she described. “Getting sent home as a freshman, team Zoom calls kept me connected and helped build relationships; coming back sophomore year to a very different Vassar, masked and distanced practices and dark, frigid dinners outside with the team somehow kept me sane. That community has rekindled my love for running and competing and taught me how to lead in ways I didn’t think I could.”

Now that the cross country season has ended, Stockman is competing with the Vassar track team, which has begun its first winter indoor season. Notably, this is her first Vassar track and field season, as the pandemic derailed competition in the Spring of 2020 and 2021. She also studied abroad her junior year. “I am experiencing both for the first and last time,” she noted. “It’s fun to feel like I’m learning right alongside everyone else, and it’s reminding me to stay in the moment and not take anything for granted since I only get one

See Seniors on page 15

government’s intelligence efforts and their effectiveness, according to a White House press release. She also sits on various public health and policy boards and committees.

Hamburg’s previous experiences are numerous and impressive. From 1991 to 1997, Hamburg wasshe the Commissioner of the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. In 1997, former President Bill Clinton appointed her Assistant Secretary for Planning and Evaluation in the Department of Health and Human Services. Hamburg worked for the Nuclear Threat Initiative for eight years, beginning in 2001, notably serving as the Senior Scientist from 2005 to 2009.

Former President Barack Obama named her Commissioner of the Food and Drug Administration (FDA); she served in that position from 2009 to 2015. “I was only the second woman, but I was one of the longest-serving FDA Commissioners in modern history, which maybe says something about the sticking power of women,” she quipped. From 2017 to 2019, she was the President and Chair of the board of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. Additionally, she has appeared son Forbes’ “The World’s 100 Most Powerful Women” list multiple times and was recently awarded the “2023 Outstanding Achievement in Public Health Award” from Research!America.

See Commencement on page 3

Movie examines faith, climate

Catherine Borthwick Live events chair

On the Friday evening before spring break, I hopped on the train to Manhattan, eager to get home to watch a movie after a week-long bender cramming for midterms. As twilight settled over Poughkeepsie, I rested my head against the window and watched the gray landscape blanketed in snow pass by in a blur. Everyone always says to sit on the Hudson River side on the Metro-North, but I often prefer to let my gaze drift over the industrial wasteland and shabby neighborhoods to the east. There’s the old quarry south of Poughkeepsie that seems as though its chalky skeleton is being swallowed by the ground. There are cemeteries and old barns propped up on hills. And every so often, a little town with its sailboats swaddled in blue tarps for the winter will pass outside the train window.

When I arrived home, I nestled under my covers and watched Paul Shrader’s “First Reformed” (2017), a transcendental style film about a pastor struggling with the reality of climate change, set in a rickety small town in upstate New York. Ethan Hawke delivers a brilliant performance as Reverend Ernst Toller, a solemn protagonist whose narration spans a year through the lens of daily, self-flagellating journal entries. He finds himself faced with the

Hua Hsu reads at Woodstock bookstore, exploring culture and Asian-American

harshness of the impending climate threat when he’s implored by a member of his congregation (played by Amanda Seyfried) to help her husband, an emotionally unstable environmental activist.

“First Reformed” echoes the industrial desolation that I am always drawn to on my way home from school. Each shot is carefully constructed, framing ashen houses and the crisp, white architecture of the colonial First Reformed church with deliberation. These moments, juxtaposed with the stark interior of the town megachurch, Abundant Life, paint a picture of corporate domination and a lost era of small town America. Rev. Toller’s First Reformed church is sparsely attended, receiving the occasional visitor due to its history as part of the underground railroad. Abundant Life, on the other hand, is a bureaucratic, lifeless operation that is much more popular among the town residents (despite its reputation as more of a company than a church). Both churches are funded by Balq Industries, a local oil company, which weighs heavily on Rev. Toller as the 250th anniversary of the First Reformed church’s consecration draws near.

“First Reformed” is both visually stunning and bone-chilling in its exploration of faith and despair in our modern, corpo-

See FIRST on page 5

Global Kitchen's new British concept bowl quickly becomes crowd (or, rather, mob) favorite

Image courtesy of Margaret Hamburg.

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159th Commencement to feature Dr. Margaret Hamburg

Hamburg’s interest in public health, medicine and science began as she grew up on the vibrant and sunny Stanford University campus, where her parents, both physicians, were professors. Her mother, Beatrix McCleary Hamburg ’44, was the first self-identified Black woman to attend and graduate from Vassar College and the Yale School of Medicine.

Hamburg told The Miscellany News, “I was surrounded by people in medicine or medically related fields. And my parents really sort of, in the very beginning, instilled in me the importance of serving people in the work you do.”

She moved to the East Coast to study at Harvard University, where she graduated Magna Cum Laude in 1977. She then attended Harvard Medical School, graduating in 1983. Hamburg completed her residency at the New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center, becoming board-certified in Internal Medicine.

decision was absolutely shaped by the environment she grew up in, reflecting: “I did sort of feel like maybe I only think I want to go into medicine because I was raised with that idea and surrounded by people who were in medicine.” Her medical background, though, proved to lead Hamburg down various enriching paths. “I think I always sort of secretly knew that my career might take on new directions,” she noted.

The emergence of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the ’80s sparked Hamburg’s pivot from medicine to public health. She cited her personal connection working with patients as a motivator for broadening the focus of her own work. “[W]hile I struggled as an idealistic young doctor to figure out how to take care of these patients and ease their suffering and extend their lives, I also saw how this disease was raising issues and concerns in many other sectors. Social concerns, legal concerns, ethical concerns, political issues. And it really made me want to work at the intersection of all of those things.” She continued, “I think one of the things that I've been struck by throughout my career is how much it matters to really be on the ground, to get your hands dirty and to understand the problem.”

Serving as New York City’s Health Commissioner allowed Hamburg to continue her work in the fight against HIV. One of her initiatives included needle exchange programs aimed at reducing the disease’s spread. Among other efforts, she also began the first public health biological threat defense program in the country. She built on this experience at the Nuclear Threat Initiative, remarking, “I had gotten deeply involved in issues of bioweapons and bioterrorism because I was Health Commissioner in New York City the first time the World Trade Center was bombed, which is now almost exactly 30 years ago… [I]t opened up the threat of domestic terrorism as a public health concern in ways that I had never really thought about.”

reer, establishing her legacy as one rooted in lasting medical—and social—change. Hamburg described, “You know, we live in a really complicated and challenging world. Unfortunately, your generation is inheriting a lot of problems that need a great deal of work. And I think the opportunity to roll up your sleeves and make a difference is both daunting, but really exciting. And to me, nothing has been more gratifying than to really know that my work is making a difference to people in their lives and that I have been able to help advance the opportunity for a better, safer world.”

Hamburg also emphasized the great reward of mentoring upcoming generations as they carve their own paths, remarking, “[L]ike my mother, I have come to feel that one of my greatest contributions can be to help others, to mentor people at the earliest stages in their career as they think about what they want to do, what kinds of opportunities they might pursue and how to do so. I find that enormously gratifying.”

Speaking at Commencement will be especially meaningful to Hamburg, as she will not only get to advise this next generation, but get to do so at Vassar, a place that was deeply significant and formative for her mother. She expressed, “[M]y mother is no longer with us, but she would be very proud. Vassar really was important to her.”

Hamburg expanded on her mother’s experience, saying: “[S]he had struggles along the way, breaking the race barrier at Vassar and then at Yale Medical School, and in other settings, and also going into a field of medicine that was poorly or inadequately developed and really shaping the field of adolescent psychiatry and building out new programs and approaches and understandings.”

more about Negroes than I knew when I came.”

Her experience at Vassar was multifaceted, as McCleary Hamburg also found the all-women environment to be immensely empowering. Her daughter described, “[S] he loves the fact that she, as a student, got to see women, her friends and colleagues, in all the leadership roles. She said it helped give her the confidence that women could

While she chose medicine as a career path, Hamburg acknowledged that this

Breadth and depth of experience are evidently defining factors of Hamburg’s ca-

McCleary Hamburg reflected on her time at Vassar in a 1946 essay penned for the Vassar Quarterly. She often felt like a representative for an entire group of people, rather than just herself, writing: “But it’s an odd thing about my education in a predominantly white college that it made me learn

be the editors of the school newspaper, the President of the College.”

Vassar has changed significantly since the ’40s, but its history of encouraging excellence from its students has continued. Members of the Class of 2023 are undoubtedly prepared to enter the world beyond the “Vassar Bubble” and hopefully, like Hamburg and her mother, leave it a little better than they found it.

Compost program ignites hope for on-campus sustainability

The week before spring break, the Office of Sustainability conducted a survey of the student body to gauge interest for a new compost program that would introduce composting to the College apartment areas. Of the 170 students surveyed, 75 percent committed to compost in the apartment areas and approximately 24 percent committed to compost if compost bins are made easily accessible, according to Izzy Rico ’23, Senior Sustainability Intern and VSA Sustainability Executive.

In an email, they wrote, “Currently, we are in the process of analyzing our survey results and conducting waste audits to determine if it is fiscally responsible to have Greenway expand their pickup on campus to all apartment areas. The plan as of now is to implement the expansion during the summer on a smaller scale and have it in full swing by the fall semester.”

At the moment, Greenway, Vassar’s compost provider, composts both food prep waste and plate waste from Gordon Commons. As outlined by Resident District Manager Stephen Scardina in a written correspondence, “In the Back of House [BOH] in Gordon Commons the staff does compost product that they are working with; i.e. carrot tops/ tips, cauliflower leaves, etc.” Additionally, in the Front of House [FOH], students separate personal food waste into either compost, re-

cycling or landfill bins. “The staff assigned in the FOH of Gordon Commons follows the same procedures as does the BOH staff,” he further explained.

Greenway once composted waste from Express and Retreat, too, but high levels of contamination ceased production—evidence of a critical composting issue. “Education plays a key role in improving our waste diversion rates,” Rico emphasized. To combat this obstacle, the Office of Sustainability has proposed a first-year orientation program targeted specifically towards educating incoming students on correct composting. Rico also added, “Another way we are working on reducing waste is through SWAPR (Stop Waste and Promote Reuse), the annual event held by the Office of Sustainability to provide students with a place to get rid of items they don’t want without throwing them away at the end of the semester.”

The College is significantly responsible for much of the air and water pollution in Poughkeepsie, as campus waste is incinerated at the Dutchess County Resource Recovery Center. “Most of our landfill waste is made up of heavy compostable materials, like food scraps, which require 5,000 BTUs of natural gas per pound to incinerate,” Rico explained. Separating compostable waste from general trash, therefore, reduces the amount of fuel used for incineration, consequently lessening the effects of pollution, as well as feeding

nutrients to soil. Echoing Rico’s point, Dean Inoa wrote in an email correspondence, “My hope is that the initiative creates a culture of sustainability, inspire[s] advocacy for sustainable practices, and potentially reduce[s] costs associated with waste disposal and fertilizers.”

Student organizations SEED and Greens have pushed for larger composting programs at Vassar for several years. Rico credited the previous Director of Sustainability, Cora Kenfield, as well as Greenway’s Josephine Pagani

and Vassar’s Head of Grounds Dean Jaeger, in drafting the new program. General attitude surrounding the program is optimistic. Dean Inoa concluded, “Overall, composting is a critical aspect of achieving a more sustainable future, and this initiative is a great way to promote sustainable practices on campus and in the community.”

Additional reporting by Jacques Abou-Rizk.

Sandro Lorenzo/The Miscellany News.

Charlotte Robertson News Editor

Beatrix McCleary Hamburg '44. Image courtesy of Margaret Hamburg.

Beatrix McCleary Hamburg '44. Image courtesy of Margaret Hamburg.

Gastrointestinal illness sweeps campus prior to spring break

Sarah McNeil Guest Reporter

Vassar College Health Service reported an outbreak of an unidentified gastrointestinal (GI) illness, including symptoms of nausea, vomiting and diarrhea, in an email to the student body on the morning of Feb. 28. Between Feb. 27 and March 4, Health Service has recorded 74 student and six employee cases. The Dutchess County Health Department (DOH) was not able to confirm if this was a norovirus outbreak similar to the one that plagued Vassar’s campus last spring. The origin of the most recent wave of GI cases remains unknown, and the student body continues to be on high alert following the announcement.

Director of Student Health Service Margot Schinella confirmed in a written statement that the DOH has performed onsite inspections, and continues to assess the data from this most recent wave of GI illnesses. It is unclear what specific GI illness caused these cases after Health Service reported that it was unable to collect enough specimens to confirm through testing. The email update released by Schinella on March 3 stated, “Although we have not been able to confirm that these were cases of norovirus, we are highly suspicious that this was the causative pathogen.” Despite the uncertainty surrounding the source of the illness, Schinella expressed confidence that

students do not need to be concerned upon returning to campus, commenting, “The last case was reported on 3.4.23. As most GI illness symptoms resolve within 72 hours of symptom onset, I do not foresee concerns upon return to campus.”

Fear that this resurgence of GI illness could be norovirus stems from last spring. Last year, Schinella reported 164 cases of GI illness from April 25 to May 3, 2022, the majority of those afflicted being students, to have been confirmed by the New York State Department of Health as a norovirus outbreak. In both last year and the current instances of GI illness, no origin has been identified. Schinella said of the two GI outbreaks: “This outbreak was contained and mitigated much more rapidly than last year. This is in part due to the fact that many students left campus for spring break, and also to rapid campus-wide communication and expedited implementation of enhanced cleaning and disinfection strategies with Facilities Operations and Dining Services.”

The College’s response has elicited mixed reviews from students. In regard to the College’s reaction to the outbreak, Peter Nydam ’24 said, “The College didn’t really support me at all. I went to urgent care on the evening I had symptoms and only let the College know the morning after, at which point I already had a Zofran prescription from the urgent care.” He added, “They didn’t check

up on me at all.” Jean Gonzalez ’23 reported similar frustration: “The school hasn’t done anything in response to the sickness except send a single email.” Moving forward, he suggested, “[The College] should have goodie bags with Pedialyte and other medicines and put students in isolation rooms.” Lucy Gundel ’25, faced difficulties seeking accommodations from professors after developing GI symptoms, saying in a written correspondence, “Some of my teachers were not as understanding as I would have expected them to be.”

Liz Feldstein-Nixon ’25 offered a more optimistic opinion, remarking in an interview, “I was glad that they emailed us when they did, even if I didn’t want to receive the email. I think they tried to get ahead of this outbreak because of last spring, specifically.”

While the timing of spring break helped reduce the spread of this most recent GI illness on campus, it also posed problems for

some students’ plans. Feldstein-Nixon, a member of the Boxing Nuns Frisbee team, explained in an interview that the outbreak added unexpected hurdles to their annual spring break trip to Myrtle Beach, SC. Feldstein-Nixon stated, “After leadership met with Margot from Health Service we were still able to go on our trip, but we had to implement a lot of specific health protocols to make sure it was safe, since we were a group of upwards of 60 people traveling together for a week coming from Vassar, where this gastro outbreak had been.”

To prevent a further outbreak, Schinella advises Vassar students and community members to regularly wash their hands with soap and water, abstain from touching their faces, avoid preparing food for others when feeling unwell, clean and disinfect frequently touched surfaces or soiled linens and refrain from sharing food or beverages with others.

Iconic Josselyn tree succumbs to elm disease

OnThursday, March 2, the Vassar student body received an email from Dean Jaeger, the Grounds Manager for Facilities Operations, detailing the reasoning and process for the removal of the large Dutch elm tree in front of Josselyn House. The email stated that the tree, which honors the Class of 1945, had succumbed to Dutch elm disease, and required removal. The tree was removed during spring break, and the sidewalk was redone around the site. The benches once beneath the tree were also removed, and a solemn memorial stone now marks where the tree once stood.

The American Phytopathology Society (society for the study of plant disease) states that the cause of Dutch elm disease is the Ophiostoma parasitic fungus, which can only reproduce in this particular species of tree. Elm bark beetles spread the fungi from one diseased tree to another, boring through the bark and tunneling through the wood to lay infected eggs. Spores from the fungus are dropped when the beetles feed. If an infection occurs during the summer months, it is likely to spread and kill the tree quickly, whereas during the colder season, the fungi cannot spread as fast and may only infect localized sections of the tree, allowing it to live a bit longer.

The Ophiostoma fungus causes the degradation of plant cell walls, as well as blocks the passage of water out to the tree’s extremities. Because of this, one of the earliest symptoms of Dutch elm disease is wilted leaves. Trees often become infected through root grafts, when the roots of trees planted close together naturally intertwine. For this reason, one method of disease management is ensuring that trees are planted farther apart; while infection is almost 100 percent certain between elms planted 20 feet apart or less, that likelihood drops significantly when the trees are planted 40 feet apart or more.

Dean Jaeger spoke to The Miscellany News about the reasoning behind the tree’s removal. “The recently-removed tree in front of Josselyn House was known to have Dutch elm disease for approximately four years,” Jaeger states. “Usually when more than 50% of a tree is infected and injections are no longer helping it, then it’s time to make a decision. In the case of the tree in front of Joss, it had some major storm damage, which contributed to the need for removal. The most important consideration for removing a tree is safety.”

Jaeger also spoke to the administrative aspect behind the tree’s removal: “When considering to remove a tree, we consult with an outside arborist and a small group of faculty and administrators. This group also assists with selecting an appropriate replacement when it’s necessary to remove a tree.” According to the Vassar Sustainability webpage, the Arborist committee is made up of Jaeger, Director of the Environmental Cooperative at the Vassar Barns Jen Rub-

bo and Associate Professor of Art History Yvonne Elet. Jaeger also touched on the impact of the tree’s loss. “We do our best to try to save and let our trees continue to grow, but that’s not always possible,” Jaeger said.

Following the announcement, students expressed their sadness over the loss of the Class of 1945 tree, a loss felt perhaps most acutely from those living in Josselyn House. One Joss resident, Kevin Seo ’25, stated: “I found out recently that the school administration is removing the tree and living in Joss specifically for two years, looking into Joss Beach that tree has always been there… I feel like that tree has become one of the more grounding features that defines Joss and Joss Beach.” On whether or not the removal of the tree felt like a significant loss, Seo remarked, “Yes, they do have a valid reason to remove the tree, but I will miss it. It’s more of a sentimental thing.”

Lily Tarrant ’25, another two-year Joss resident, echoed Seo’s statement. “I really just remember it as the big pretty tree that gave more life to Joss in the spring and fall,” Tarrant said. “And the slightly eerie baby swing that looked like it had seen some things. It was sad to hear they were removing it! But if it’s unhealthy then it makes sense, even though it’s sad. It will be missed.”

The Class of 1945 tree was loved by former Joss residents, as well. Shiloh Munsen ’23 described the joy the tree brought to students: “It felt like a point of community for Joss residents. On nice days, I could look out my window and see people lounging and doing work in its shade.” Munsen also mentioned a fond memory of the tree. She recalls, “It was the meeting point to get ready for the Brewer games during my first year at Vassar where I got to meet many other Joss residents and start to feel the Vassar sense of community.” Whether providing shelter for those studying or as a community meeting point, it is clear that the Class of ’45 tree was well-loved on campus.

The Vassar Office for Sustainability

has an official statement on tree removal, which seems especially poignant following this loss. The website states, “Since it is capable of more or less continuously producing new branches, leaves, and roots, a tree should be able to live forever.” The statement continues, “Most of our campus trees do indeed have very long lives, so we naturally tend to regard them as permanent. We find that perceived permanence comforting, and when a tree comes down we experience a disconcerting sense of sadness and loss.” Finally, the website provides a reminder of the gravity of these decisions: “Because our campus trees have such high ecological, emotional, and esthetic importance, it is the policy of the Arboretum Committee that a tree can be removed only if it has become a clear safety hazard, or it is too diseased or damaged to survive. Even then, the decision is not taken lightly.”

A tree resistant to Dutch elm will be planted in the Class of 1945 tree’s place, hopefully providing shade and shelter for the campus for decades to come without prompting worries about its health. Still, it is clear that the now-gone tree will be dearly missed by the student body. For those interested in paying their respects to the campus landmark, the tree’s temporary memorial will be available for viewing until further notice.

Recently, the Class of 2025 received an email from Associate Dean of the College for Campus Activities Dennis Macheska outlining the process for the selection of their own class tree. “We would like to know what type of tree you would like to represent your class and we also would like to know if you are interested in being part of the planning team for the planting and celebration of your class tree,” the email stated. The tree is due to be planted on Arbor Day, April 28, 2023. During the Class of 2025’s senior week, a time capsule will be buried there. A link to provide feedback on the selection of a class tree is included in the email.

Madi Donat Humor Editor

Madi Donat/The Miscellany News.

Jacques Abou-Rizk/The Miscellany News.

Don Tolliver's 'Love Sick' is a largely successful experiment

Ganesh Pillai Arts Editor

Leather upholstered booths, warm lighting casting shadows across the aisles, jukeboxes adorning the walls—stalwarts of an American staple: the diner. It’s the perfect place for time-tested favorites: pancakes drowned in syrup, fresh pots of coffee and Don Toliver. As you place your order, you may turn to see a dapperly dressed, but definitely downtrodden, man lost in his thoughts at a corner table. Our falsetto-gifted figure’s melancholia, however, could perhaps be alleviated by telling his story, and so we as partakers of what this diner could have to offer are invited to allow our blue companion to regale us. While his tales consist of new mistakes, familiar exploits, and everything in between, underlying them all is the same Toliver we’ve come to appreciate, attempting to alleviate one of mankind’s most debilitating pestilences –lovesickness.

Caleb Zachary Toliver (stage name Don Tolliver) is a Houston-born singer and rapper who emerged onto the rap and R&B scene as one of the most evocative and unique voices in 2018. Tolliver’s popularity spiked following a standout verse on fellow Houston native Travis Scott’s “CAN’T SAY,” and Tolliver signed to the megastar’s recording label in 2018. Since, the rapper has released two quality projects, priming us as listeners for his latest.

Where I’m at, yeah where I’m at/ I don’t know how I’m getting home,” opens Toliver on the intro to his third studio album. While most directly a reference to a substance-induced stupor in an unknown location, the singer’s words represent a telling motif throughout the album: the theme of our orator finding himself in familiar and unfamiliar places, both in subject matter

and album production. Much of the album features Toliver lusting for someone; some songs leave his calls for companionship unanswered, such as “Let Her Go,” with its moody atmosphere that has become a James Blake-involved song staple. On the track, both Toliver and Blake croon, “Don’t I make you feel special,” the latter concluding with “I’m hoping I am what you seek,” leaving listeners with the same uncertainty as our narrators.

“Time Heals All,” one of the album’s very best tracks, sees Toliver with a similar air of desire, this time requited—at least in some capacity. The song features Toliver admitting to past mistakes, hoping the titular motto proves true. He wishes to fulfill said desires with his lover—–but for how long? He asks, “Want me to creep around or keep around?” While we may not know the longterm status of this relationship, Toliver spins his yarn atop a simple, but hard hitting trap beat. “4 Me,” by contrast, leaves nothing up to the imagination, swapping ambiguity for outspoken declarations of love from both Toliver and real-life paramour Kali Uchis, whose chemistry is palpable. The former asserts, “You’re the only girl for me/ You’re the only girl I need,” while the latter expresses, “I will take the stars out of the sky for you” in a track whose infectious expression of feeling is matched perfectly in its production. Mirroring the song’s tone of grand gestures of affection, “4 Me” boasts an addicting, jovial instrumental jumping for joy with highpitched tones to back the optimistic sentiments of its singers.

While oscillating between spaces of certainty and ambiguity with regards to Toliver’s lovesickness, the album also takes viewers on a tonal adventure. Toliver’s latest project features the singer experimenting with new lanes of production and cadences, to results

both successful and questionable. “Honeymoon” with Kaytranada’s typical bouncy, upbeat trap pattern embraces the fun of a real honeymoon, and features Toliver paying homage to fellow illustrious names in the game, doing each figure justice in his interpolation. The choice to open the song with a heavily enunciated flow, almost questioning in tone, seems to be inspired by the stylings of Anderson Paak, whose unique ability to emote through delivery is also embraced by Toliver. Later in the song, Toliver switches tone almost as if doing an impersonation, a practice that has been perfected by Kendrick Lamar. Most notably and recently, Lamat utilized his southern accent to perfection on the rap megahit “Family Ties” with Baby Keem; the Californian rapper is never one to shy away from an odd sounding delivery. Similarly, Don’s matter-of-fact, raspy rapping of “And I’m loving how it shake/ Shake, shake, shake like maracas” has a similar air of whimsy, daring to be creative in tone.

My pick for the album’s best track features perhaps its most unlikely combination of contributors: –“Private Landing” featuring Future and Justin Bieber. The track’s dark, bell-adorned production represents a far more new-age rap sound than the artist typically dabbles in, already setting the stage for a very different kind of Toliver song. And while both he and Future have very solid verses atop this hard-hitting beat, it is the track’s inclusion of the typically pop-voiced Bieber that provides the very best moments. Bieber enters commandingly, repeating the phrase “Keep going” before crooning, “I guess I’m spinning/ Double cup I’m leaning.” His switching from criminally smooth singing, to jolted, tight rapping ensures the song’s final two minutes or so are unequivocally Bieber’s to run—and what a show he puts on.

That being said, there are some experi-

ments in sound and production that do fall flat, albeit still worthy of recognition for effort and creativity. “Go Down,” featuring electronic artist TisaKorean sees Tolliver out of his comfort zone, and element, atop a hyperpop-esque, synth heavy beat that does not compliment the singer’s voice, resulting in a jarring listening experience. “Leave the Club,” is Tolliver’s attempt at a standard club banger, but whose guest verses from Lil Durk and Glorilla are mostly uninspired rehashing of tried flows, on a beat that is far too hazy and grating to listen to. In contrast however, Tolliver’s delving into the contemporary Jersey Club style on “Bus Stop,” featuring the ever angelically-voiced Brent Faiyaz, is a raving success, with Tolliver’s smooth cadence perfectly countering the jumpy, hurried beat, and Faiyaz’s contribution in the song’s second half serving to switch the mood of excitement to a mellower one.

On “Love Sick,” Toliver takes his listeners to places familiar and new. It’s an album for both the star-crossed pair and the happy couple, for the dejected loner and the confident socialite. While not every element works to perfection, it is an example ofToliver’s skill and a reminder that he isn’t content with his current place among rap’s most prolific voices—he’s ready for more.

'First Reformed' grapples with faith in age of climate change

Continued from FIRST on page 1

rate-driven America. In an existentially grim scene between Rev. Toller and Michael (the aforementioned climate activist), Toller remarks that “a life without despair is a life without hope.” Yet the film navigates an immense amount of despair, and very few glimmers of hope. But several moments dig deep in the sense that they represent transcendence above the bleak landscape of the climate threat: A bike ride through the park between Rev. Toller and his congregation member (and eventual friend), Mary. A lingering faith in God to which Rev. Toller desperately clings. And finally, the hauntingly

to Catholic President Joe Biden, who just greenlighted ConocoPhillips’ $8 billion oil drilling project). In a more secular America than ever before, and as we hur-

tle towards an irreversible climate future, “First Reformed” achieves perfect resonance. As the events of the movie build towards its climax, and the 250th anniver-

sary of the consecration draws closer, Rev. Toller asks “WILL GOD FORGIVE US?” on the message board in front of First Reformed. It’s impossible to know for sure.

beautiful dream sequence near the end of the film, which feels like a perfect scene through how it represents a complete divergence from the established aesthetic of the film.

Ultimately, “First Reformed” poses the urgent question: How can we consciously pollute and destroy God’s creation in good faith? (Six years after the release of “First Reformed,” one might pose this question

Catherine Borthwick/The Miscellany News.

Ganesh Pillai/The Miscellany News.

“Ultimately, 'First Reformed' poses the urgent question: How can we consciously pollute and destroy God’s creation in good faith?”

2023 Oscars take two steps forward and one step back

Jesse Koblin Columnist

The 2023 Academy Awards, telecasted on March 12, were a success for inclusion in the films themselves, yet showed signs that Hollywood remains resistant to change. This year was a dramatic improvement from the morbid and spectacular failure of the 2022 Academy Awards, a truncated show marred by the second-lowest ratings in Oscars’ history according to the Hollywood Reporter, with some categories even awarded off-screen. (And of course, the infamous Slap occurred). 2023’s Jimmy Kimmel-hosted show triumphed as a buoyant celebration of one of the most delightfully strange and unexpected Best Picture winners ever, “Everything Everywhere All at Once,” which swept the awards with a staggering eleven nominations and seven wins. Michelle Yeoh's Best Actress win made her the first Asian actress to take the award; in her acceptance speech, Yeoh emphasized the importance of Asian visibility in film and dedicated the award to mothers everywhere in a show of female empowerment.

Elsewhere in the show, the stone rolled forward. Ruth E. Carter became the first Black

underrepresented at the Oscars. And as Sarah Polley acknowledged as she accepted the Best Adapted Screenplay award, the Academy honoring a film named “Women Talking” is an achievement for an institution that has systematically silenced its female stars.

The night seemed like a breath of fresh air for the institution. Kimmel's hosting was breezy and (mostly) inoffensive, evoking Oscar feel-good liberal charm similar to the direction of Billy Crystal or maybe even Bob Hope; after several years of Oscar ceremonies with multiple hosts and dramatic disruptions, a by-the-books ceremony was a comfort. Some jokes were duds (like asking Nobel Peace Prize-winning women's rights activist Malala about Harry Styles/Chris Pine beef). Still, Kimmel's risk-averse material dogging on industry black sheep “Babylon” and James Cameron's absenteeism steered clear of a below-the-belt cringefest.

While welcome signs of inclusions were justly celebrated, frustrating areas of Old Hollywood remained in sight. Egregiously, the Academy failed to nominate any women for the Best Director category, suggesting a continuation of the Academy’s retrograde, elitist, paternalist history. Of all categories the Academy honors, this seems the most resistant to gender parity; it’s especially galling given last year’s wealth of excellent movies helmed by women, such as Charlette Wells’ “Aftersun,” Sara Dosa’s “Fire of Love,” Chi-

tors manage actors and crew, influence every aspect of craft and dictate the film’s artistic vision, possessing enormous creative power on set. The prevention of women from accessing positions of power and Hollywood’s patriarchal history has left little precedent of past female directors, resulting in the institutional disregard of modern female representation in the director role.

woman to win two Oscars, garnering Best Costume Design in “Wakanda Forever” to add to her prior win for “Black Panther.” “RRR”’s "Naatu Naatu" nabbing Best Song and “The Elephant Whisperers” win in Best Documentary Short were significant moments of representation for India, a country historically

The nominations and awards themselves were the real star of this show, which spotlighted redemptive, incredible personal narratives on and off the screen. Brendan Fraser's Best Actor win for “The Whale” was notably cathartic; he was Hollywood's favored hunky male lead through the late ’90s and early 2000s before being sexually assaulted by Hollywood Foreign Press Association president Philip Berk, leading to Fraser's blacklisting from the film industry after trying to speak out. His institutional re-acceptance, codified in critical wins and teary-eyed speeches, does not exonerate Hollywood, but demonstrates an attempt at amends. Similarly, Ke Huy Quan's Best Supporting Actor win was preceded by a career struggling to find respectful, non-typecast roles due to his Asian-American identity, leading to a moment of mass cultural acceptance. Jamie Lee Curtis' legendary career legitimizing genre film as art earned her the Best Supporting Actress win (and warmed my heart as a genre movie fan), even if performances by fellow nominees Stephanie Hsu and Kerry Condon were a bit stronger. By embracing the journeys of industry titans and those marginalized by power structures, this year felt like an Oscars show for everyone.

nonye Chukwu’s “Till,” Maria Schrader's “She Said,” Prince-Bythewood's “The Woman King” and Sarah Polley's "Women Talking.” While some of these movies received Oscar nominations in other categories (Paul Mescal for Best Actor in “Aftersun” and Polley as screenwriter for “Women Talking”), it’s astounding that none were recognized for their amazing women directors. This failure comes on the heels of incremental progress.

Jane Campion’s Best Director win last year for “Power of the Dog” and Chloe Zhao’s 2021 victory for directing “Nomadland,” also that ceremony’s Best Picture, suggested this category was opening to new perspectives and demographics. Once again, we have seen the pendulum swing back towards a status quo that ignores outstanding women directors. Directing is a premier position in Hollywood, arguably the heart of film production. Direc-

We have to raise the question: If the Oscars, a show meant to recognize achievement in film meritocratically, have so often shunted this meritocracy to preserve the hegemony of white male identity, is it possible to achieve success in film without the Academy’s institutional backing? Although social media and the proliferation of smartphone cameras have made student and amateur filmmaking unprecedentedly accessible, the film medium is still inherently difficult to work in due to its intricate nature, an elaborate combination of cinematography, writing and sound design requiring resources and labor not always available to the historically marginalized. Being platformed is also challenging, with showings in movie theaters and visibility on streaming platforms taking money, industry connections or both. Perhaps the most critical part of the Academy’s stranglehold on gender diversity in film is that The Academy does not create financial or critical success, but rather confers prestige onto movies that ensures their immortalization in the popular film canon. If the Academy utilized its status as gatekeeper to consistently recognize the wealth of talent regardless of gender, it would legitimize women in the film industry’s historically-patriarchal positions of power. Nonetheless, 2022 was the year where movies bounced back financially and creatively from the COVID-19 pandemic, making for an Oscars night with stacked categories, promising nominees and tons of incredible films. I highly recommend checking out anything represented at the Oscars and beyond. My personal favorites from last year were “Tár,” “The Banshees of Inisherin,” “Nope,” “Decision to Leave” and, of course, “Everything Everywhere All at Once.” Enjoy!

Image courtesy of Timothy A. Gonsalves via Wikimedia Commons.

“By embracing the journeys of industry titans and those marginalized by power structures, this year felt like an Oscars show for everyone."

"If the Academy utilized its status as gatekeeper to consistently recognize the wealth of talent regardless of gender, it would legitimize women in the film industry’s historically-patriarchal positions of power.”

Slouching towards Whataburger: On going home

George Shu Guest Columnist

We all drink a little before heading to Whataburger, the one along I-10. Justin insists that he’ll remain sober, thank God. Last time we drank together, before we went off to school, he vandalized my notebook with shitty raps. For some reason, he seems a little less fluid today—his movements more jagged than usual, his words more settled. I wonder if he had a long semester or just a long day. Perhaps the fluidity was merely an artifact of his once long, curled hair, the ends of which have now been almost completely chopped off.

I turn to Arhan when, as per the norm, he offers to drive. He’s always been the most functional while under the influence—often better than a sober Justin. Whether that functionality is a product of years of acting sober to his parents or just some liquid confidence, I never had a clue. He got us through Rolling Loud, so we trust him. Every thought that enters his mind seems to be filtered into a specific lane, like trains filing onto their separate tracks. At any given moment, only one or two would present themselves at the station. Listening to him speak is sometimes like listening to a verse from a sonnet, as if it were written by some modern Shakespeare; other times, it’s like listening to an infant. He’d grown out his facial hair over the last few months, and for the first time, I realized how piercing his eyes are. You could almost see the trains rolling to a stop. This observation, in tandem with the wisdom bestowed upon him by his new beard, instills in me a semblance of comfort as the three of us stumble into his ’06 Acura.

Getting onto the I-10 involves a merge across five lanes within only a couple hundred feet—a prime example of Houston’s notoriously bad city planning. It used to plague my daily life, but it’s home. I typically avoid this particular maneuver by waiting until after the first traffic light to merge, but Arhan

chooses to weave through the 4,000-pound bullets like Neo from “The Matrix.” In that instant, the streetlamps paint radiant beams across my vision, and I feel every jerk of the steering wheel through the seat belt digging into my shoulder. All I know for certain is that we made it onto the highway.

As we proceed into the darkness, I’m reminded of the endlessness of the highway by the repeating emergence and passing of green exit signs. I lean back and let the bass of the music sink into my chest. Before it settles in, Arhan notes that Kid LAROI’s voice really cuts through the rest of the track, like a cold knife sawing through a stick of room-temperature butter. For a moment, I’m concerned. I’m concerned about why he thinks of room-temperature butter when he listens to Kid LAROI, but more urgently, I’m concerned that the focus needed to conjure such an observation was drawn from the pool of energy that was supposed to be solely devoted to keeping the car straight. Thankfully, when I look over, his eyes are still locked onto the car ahead of us. They’re half open but unwavering—we’re good, I think.

I go back to what Arhan said: The knife really is cold, and its edge is a little uncomfortable. And so, as the next song comes on, I try to mimic a fraction of his genius. Juice WRLD’s voice, when compared to LAROI’s, is perhaps a bit sharper than a butter knife, more like, say, a printmaker’s chisel: carving through the music as if it were a block of linoleum.

In the mirror, I see a myriad of cars coasting along the several lanes of Katy Freeway, all following the natural rhythm of the world. The highways are the grooves in the linoleum of the city—a previously blank slab etched with purpose and fated to be exploited again and again. The highways are Houston’s arteries, the cars its blood, bringing life to all parts of the city: to a loved one, to the familiar embrace of home or to a Whataburger. The cars remind me that everyone’s life is its

own world, that each of the vehicles that pass by, or cruise alongside us, carry a soul whose experiences are vast and unknowable.

I take a swig out of the flask we brought along. The cool, smokey whiskey, gently infused with a metallic tang from the flask, is smoother than I expect it to be. I feel the volume of the gulp as it grazes my throat, and it warms me the way a freshly brewed cup of coffee might. Looking out through the glass, I’m flooded by a profound sense of purpose. There isn’t an absence of cars, per se—that doesn’t really exist in Houston—but compared to the usual discord, it’s quite peaceful to be among the others in the dead of night. It’s as though each and every wheel on the vehicles that envelop us is working in some grand symphony, spinning the globe underneath us, such that it is not the passengers which move through the world, but rather the world itself which is being pulled through us.

As downtown inches closer, I’m struck by the vibrancy of its skyline. That vibrancy is complemented by the abrupt shifting of the asphalt into the concrete beneath us. I let the vibrations of the tires against the surface of the road blend with the percussion of the music. Almost instantaneously, I’m taken to a beach. The drums are like waves rolling onto the shore, one after another. With each kick and snare, I feel the water, with its chaos and vigor, crashing into the sand, forever changing the landscape of the beach. The face of the shore between each beat presents as a wholly unique arrangement of the grains of sand, lost to all except the memories of the sand itself, preserved only in the architecture of the individual grains. With every strike of the water, each grain is caressed by erosion, forged one ostensibly negligible stroke at a time. Change approaches in these ebbs and flows, weatherings and slow gatherings. It compounds, sneaks up and reveals itself to us when we least demand it. We hide from these changes, gripping desperately

onto who we imagine ourselves to be, rather than who we feel is becoming unearthed by the oceans of our lives; they find us nonetheless. Perhaps by the end of the song, the shoreline will have taken on an entirely new character.

It's bizarre how different everyone looks compared to just a few months ago. It’s a feeling which resurfaces every time I go home and, I imagine, every time anyone goes home. I look more carefully and notice that Justin has a new chain and that Arhan wears a different watch. I wonder if these changes are meant to signal some kind of growth, or if they’re to hide that they haven’t really changed at all. After all, there is this automatic association between how someone looks and who they are—their external and internal selves—that all of us try, but ultimately fail, to escape. To say that Arhan’s hair had grown longer and that Justin’s hair had become shorter is not to say that they had somehow diverged on their paths in life. But sometimes, thoughts like those are hard to avoid. Another thought which haunts me is this: The number of opportunities for us all to be together diminishes each time we hang out. What, then, becomes of home? This thought pulls down on the corners of my mouth as it crawls its way into my mind.

I like to imagine some poignant, distant future where all my friends, pulled in by chance or by effort through different roads of fate, come together and pour each other drinks as we reflect on the things that have had the greatest impact on our lives. I like to imagine those things are always people

As we pull into Whataburger, I’m taken out of my trance. There’s some noise coming from the back seat, a disturbance seeping in and out of the music. It’s Justin, the sober one, freestyling, trying to rhyme words like “pe-nis” and “wee bit” together. As it turns out, he hasn’t changed at all.

“Did you hear that, bruh?” I say to Arhan. “Hear what?”

Hua Hsu's 'Stay True' balances harmony and grief

Julian Young Guest Columnist

years ago, Woodstock, NY, made a name for itself as a charming, vinyl-sided town, home to some of the most brilliant musical and poetic minds of a generation: Hendrix, Bowie, Baldwin—all who sought sparks of inspiration and solitude in its humble beauty. Today, it is the perfect location for a reading of author Hua Hsu’s latest memoir, “Stay True.”

Hsu is a Professor of English at Bard College and a staff writer at The New Yorker Up until last semester, he was also an Associate Professor of English at Vassar College. Much of his work deals with music culture—everything from chronicles of early hip-hop to reviews of new English synth—but he also writes frequently of his Asian-American identity. His latest endeavor is a deeply personal comingling of the two.

Hsu is the kind of person who shatters your preconceptions of the dull academic curmudgeon. He’s young, rocks Champion sweatshirts, has spiky, haphazard hair, and—in a way that might shock his adolescent self—is probably the coolest guy in the room.

On the drive up to Woodstock, I thought about meeting Hsu for the first time, flipping through the words I would say as we passed stretches of lush forest. How could I prove we were kindred spirits? I wondered what albums had guided him through the

perils of freshman year.

After ending up at a series of wrong addresses, I walked into The Golden Notebook, fifteen minutes late. The cafe glowed orange from the autumn sun. An intimate crowd of friends, family, colleagues, and students surrounded Hsu, joined by Professor of English and prolific writer Amitava Kumar. Kumar hosted the reading as an engaging interviewer and fantastic complement to Hsu. The two are also great friends.

“Some friends complete us, while others complicate us. Maybe you feel as if there were nothing better in the world than driving in a car, listening to music with friends, looking for an all-night donut shop,” Hsu writes in “Stay True,” reflecting on his newfound friendship with Ken, a fellow Asian-American student whose wild charisma clashed with Hsu’s self-imposed wall of cynicism. Ken partied with his frat. He loved to swing dance. He wore Abercrombie & Fitch. He had a real earnest, unbridled enthusiasm for the marrow of life, and you got the sense that Hsu was slightly perturbed at how much he truly enjoyed Ken’s company. Their friendship began to blossom over the early years of their college careers, until Ken was killed, senselessly, in a robbery near their campus of University of California, Berkeley.

During the reading, Hsu noted how it took him 20 years to find the voice to tell this story. In the aftermath of Ken’s death, he writes of the obsessive compulsion to

grab onto fleeting memories of his friend: the sound of his husky laugh, their string of inside jokes with no identifiable source. “Each of us must protect our memories of him, I said, because it brought a little of him back. It was the only way to bring him with us into the future.” Here, the prose is devastating and precise. Kumar calls it “As clear and simple as the dawn.” For young Hsu, writing became a way of observing not only the new movies Ken would have loved but missed out on, or how the angelic harmonies of “God Only Knows” have since turned sour and bitter, but also his own irrational, imposing thoughts and reconciliations. Had he hurt Ken the last time they spoke? Was there anything he could have done?

There is a moment when the story of Ken’s murder is picked up by a local student magazine, and his life melts into a broader context of rampant Asian-American violence in California. Hsu is confused, almost angry. He doesn’t want Ken to be ripped away from the intimacy of their friendship. He is desperate to hold him close.

Hsu’s engagement with his own Asian-American identity ebbs and flows throughout “Stay True.” At some times, he is canvassing for UC Berkeley’s Asian Student Association; at others, he wonders how he and Ken could be so radically different, despite being dealt the same cards. And yet, there is a universality to the Asian-American experience Hsu writes of

with clarity and detail, one rooted in the pursuit of reinvention.

“Maybe this is what it means to live in America. You could move around. You were afforded opportunities unavailable back home. You could refashion yourself as a churchgoer, a pizza lover, an aficionado of classical music or a Bob Dylan.

For Hsu, the experience of first-generation immigrants and matriculating freshmen is one and the same. There is the bright-eyed pursuit of personal reinvention through facets of American culture, the intimidation that comes from stepping into a bustling community with its own rhythm and the fervent, almost desperate, desire to belong. He writes of arriving on the campus of UC Berkeley, eager to prove his coolness by draping himself in vintage polka-dot cardigans and listening to artsy, obscure heavy metal. Just as his father had subscribed very briefly to The New Yorker, before realizing it wasn’t meant for newcomers like him, Hsu finds himself, 20 years later, trying to listen to ska in the hopes of impressing a red-haired girl in his English class.

“Stay True” is a memoir all about in-betweens: bleary-eyed late-night drives to and from 7-Eleven, the awkward misstep from adolescence to adulthood, the distance between being Asian and Asian American. Young Hsu often finds himself caught between a few of these identities—his attempts to reconcile them, often with vulnerability and humor, lie at the heart of his writing.

HUMOR

Breaking News

From the desk of Madi Donat, Humor Editor

Seniors enter final few weeks with “Psycho” theme on loop in their heads, still mourning the loss of a Shapes Founder’s Day

Miss Likki gets addicted to 'The Sims 4'

Nandini Likki True Gamer

Likemany enthusiastic Vassar students, I had huge, exaggerated hopes for spring break that were promptly shut down by the joyless drudgery of reality and a failure to make cohesive plans with friends. We were supposed to go to Montréal, MAN! Instead, I flew back home to Cincinnati. In the great Porkopolis, there’s not an abundance of things to do. You could go visit the newly-constructed United Dairy Farmers near your house, one of the only places in the Midwest where you can get delicious ice cream and milkshakes while also filling up your car with premium gas. You could visit your old high school and immediately wonder why you decided to do so. Or you could be like me: do both of those things, instantly get bored again and then

get addicted to the popular social simulation game “The Sims 4.”

My sister once said that only weird people play “The Sims.” She might be right. If you haven’t heard of it, “The Sims” is a free game where you create a character and just watch that character…experience life. Of course you have some control over what they do—you can decide their career, aspirations, love life, children. Actually, maybe you have full control over what they do. In a small dashboard on the right, you can keep track of their basic motives, which include Bladder, Fun, Hunger, Social, Energy and Hygiene. But I prefer to make them and let them live without interfering too much. Except for when they don’t wash their dishes after eating for the tenth time in a row. That shit irks me.

After literally ruining the life of my first

Sim, Harumichi, by having him meet a woman at a nightclub, go on two dates with her, marry her, impregnate her and then come home to his new wife cheating on him, I decided to take the game more seriously. I opted to buy the “City Living” expansion pack, one of thirteen expansion packs you can purchase that spice up the game a little bit. (The most recent expansion pack, “Growing Together,” released on March 16th, focuses on family life and dynamics.) In “City Living,” you can choose to live in San Myshuno, a multiethnic paradise that includes weekly festivals for Sims to participate in, such as the Humor and Hijinks Festival, and GeekCon. San Myshuno is home to four fabulous neighborhoods: Spice Market, Uptown, Fashion District and Arts Quarter, each with their own apartments and housing. I decided to create a Sim

that had aspirations to become a famous musician. I named her Naomi Berenyi, after real-life Lush frontman Miki Berenyi, one of my favorite singers. As of when this article was written, Naomi is still a C-Lister at the Stargazer Lounge—not of SNL fame—and nowhere near the threshold of celebrity. However, she’s currently in a friends-with-benefits situation with her neighbor Salim. One time, I got them to go on a date in the park and even “WooHoo” in the observatory! And they say romance is dead.

If you’re feeling dissatisfied with the general direction of your life, if you feel like you have no control over what you’re doing, if you’re a sick and twisted individual like me who enjoys watching digital people suffer through horribly awkward situations—why not try playing “The Sims?”

Who is most mad this March? A team roster proposal

Nicholas Tillinghast Airballer

March—the month of mad. This angry period is accentuated by two college basketball tournaments in which the maddest team wins, a festival known as “March Madness.” Yet year after year, I watch as college coaches overlook the maddest individuals in society and instead seek out tall high school students to play on their Division I basketball teams. This is the strategy of losers. If I were a collegiate basketball coach, I would build a team made up of only

the angriest players who could collectively win any March tournament. But who really is the most mad this March? That is what I hope to answer below.

The Banshees of Inisherin

Oh! They must be so wound up this March! Despite getting nine Oscar nominations (an average of 2.3 nominations per Banshee), they didn’t win a single one! They must be fuming. Their gears thoroughly grinded! I only have so many positions for this basketball team, so I will select Colin Farrell’s character, who, in a deleted scene, made twenty consecutive three-pointers after the death of his pet donkey. Colin Farrell’s character will be playing center.

Al Gore

Here’s a guy who lost an election 23 years ago that he probably should have won, but due to a series of unfortunate events in the state of Florida, he did not. If I were Al Gore, I would still be pretty mad. In my mind, Al Gore had two options after such a devastating loss—one, spend the next four years working on a campaign for the 2004 presidential election, or two, put all of his anger into getting really good at basketball. Seeing

as he did not run again in 2004, a democratic primary cycle that was led by two dudes named John and zero dudes named Al, I can only assume he spent those four years attempting to reignite his short-lived college basketball career. Al Gore has had 23 years to prepare for a basketball comeback—now is the time to unleash his anger on the court. Al Gore will play back-up center on the team.

Oscar the Grouch

This guy is always blowing a gasket, his madness only exacerbated by his decision to live perpetually amongst garbage. Mr. the Grouch's anger is well documented on “Sesame Street,” but something far less discussed on the show is his impressive 88-percent success rate at the free throw line. I would be shaking in my boots if I were the Kentucky Wildcats basketball coach. Oscar will be playing shooting guard.

The Ball

No college basketball player can be as mad as the ball. One day, the ball was just sitting in a warehouse in Delaware, and then suddenly it’s picked up and repeatedly slapped into a hard floor, then thrown in the air in front of thousands of yelling people. If I were

the ball, I would kick a rock, or maybe set someone’s house on fire, as Colin Farrell’s character does in “The Banshees of Inisherin.” The ball will play power forward.

There will also be a second basketball, of course, serving as the game ball, the one that isn’t playing power forward. I’m hoping this two-basketball scheme will confuse the other team. You might be wondering about the rules in all of this, and what I would suggest is that, following “Air Bud” logic, there’s no rule saying a basketball can’t play basketball.

The Gears

Here’s a question—why is everybody grinding them? They must be just sick of it. If I were one of those gears, I would punch a mirror, like Colin Farrell did in “The Banshees of Inisherin.” No more Mr. Nice Gear. One of the gears will play point guard, and the other will play small forward. The rest of the gears will be on the bench, ahead of Al Gore.

Well, there you have it—a team of champions that could beat any college team. I wish you a mad remainder of March, and an even angrier April! If you keep it up, maybe you, too, could play collegiate basketball.

Poetry Corner

Anna Kozloski

OBSERVATION #2

Some shoes are not meant to be worn.

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

Lines wrap all around campus for new British concept bowl

Oliver Stewart Investigative Reporter

The Global Kitchen introduced its new British concept bowl this week to universal acclaim, with desperate students lining up for hours. The bowl, which incorporates British staples like beans on toast, steak and kidney pie, and marmite, has increased demand at the Global Kitchen tenfold, with wait times as long as five hours a common reality for bowl-seekers.

One recent evening, the line wrapped around the Global Kitchen twice, past the drinks machine, through the booths and over the ice cream freezer, before passing through a broken window (smashed by protestors demanding that the Deece devote all of its resources to producing more British bowls) and extending all the way to Rockefeller Hall. After examining aerial footage of the line, Poughkeepsie Police estimated that around 700 students were waiting for British bowl access.

“It’s a major crowd control issue,” one officer told The Miscellany News. “We haven’t seen anything like this since they shut down the Homo Hop back in ’99. Frankly, if this doesn’t get better soon, I wouldn’t be surprised if—what? They have mushy peas? I’m outta here!” The officer refused to offer any further comment, abruptly ending the interview and rushing to join the growing throng of British bowl fans.

Asked what their favorite part of the Brit-

ish bowl was, many members of the line admitted that they had yet to actually taste the dish. “The wait times have been, like, crazy,” one said, a comment met with agreement by nearby bowl fans.

“I dream about bubble and squeak at night,” another said. “Bubble. Squeak. Bubble. Squeak. Squeak. Bubble. These words echo in my head while I sleep. If I don’t eat the British bowl soon, I will go insane. I am already insane. Bubble. Squeak. Bubble.”

At one point, spontaneous chants rose up, with students shouting, “Bangers and mash! Bangers and mash! Bangers and mash!” The mob’s fervor was immediately apparent, with several incidents of violence breaking out as students waited for their turn to taste the British bowl.

When members of the line overheard another student referring to the beloved potatoes from the Grill as “fries” instead of “chips,” the mob immediately gave chase, declaring their intentions to “turn them into blood pudding” and “make an Eton mess of their face.”

A number of students on the line echoed the sentiment that the experience had given them a newfound appreciation for all of British culture. “I’m looking to buy one of those big furry hats that they wear at Buckingham Palace,” one said.

“I want to f--- all of the Beatles,” another declared.

“And I’m beginning to think the wrong side won the War of 1812.”

Plan a fun spring break for pennies on the dollar!

Alyssa Willeford Expert Vacationer

So, how was your spring break? It’s a simple enough question, and yet those six little words are enough to strike terror in the hearts of Vassarites everywhere. Simply open up Instagram and you’ll see picture after picture of laughing, thong-clad people (of all genders) on the beaches of Cancún. Realistically, though, you couldn’t afford to go to Mexico just like that. I sure as hell couldn’t; I crank out this garbage for The Misc pro bono. So how can you make your break better next year? What can you do during your two weeks off with a budget so comically small that, if you threw it into a fountain for good luck, you would instantly be struck by lightning? Read on to find out!

Of course, the cheapest and most widespread housing choice for Vassar students is the famous hotel “La Casa De Mis Padres.” There’s free room and board at your parental abode, and, unlike if you vacationed in Mexico, the hosts even speak your lan-

guage! Of course, nothing in life is free, and you’ll pay for your trip with dozens of cringeworthy, stress-inducing, completely unprovoked little interactions with your dear old folks. But hey, it’s always good to have some motivation to find a job and move out, isn’t it?

Failing that, you could always have a little staycation at the luxurious resort “Su Dormitorio.” Vassar does make you pay dearly for the privilege—$45 per day in Poughkeepsie!—but it’s definitely worth it. Enjoy having a table all to yourself at the Deece and choosing from endless options for study spots at the library! You can even go into your dorm’s empty MPR, shout something and listen to your voice echo through the barren, lonely space—it’s almost like having a conversation with a friend. It’s too bad all of your real friends are busy hanging out in their childhood bedrooms in suburban Connecticut!

But if you stay at Vassar and don’t want to spend spring break talking to a soccer

ball with a face drawn on it in an attempt to stay sane, there are other options. Have a car? You could visit some of the Hudson Valley’s most exotic destinations! Maybe you’ve been to Poughkeepsie’s Target more times than you can count—but what about Newburgh’s? The red balls in front look very slightly different! And how about the Adams Fairacre Farms—in Wappingers?

The excitement just never stops in the scenic Hudson Valley!

If you don’t have a car, you can still go down to NYC for the low, low price of just $38.50. The Greatest City in the World is itself a prime spring break spot, you know! Enjoy watching crowds of crabby Midwestern tourists waiting in line at the same four overrated pizza places. Nicely ask a Midtown cop if you can ride their horsie. And play everyone’s favorite subway game: “What’s that on the floor?” Of course, everything in NYC is expensive, not just the train fare, but here’s a Hot Tip: Save big by bringing a fishing pole! For dinner, you can

just cook whatever it is you pull out of the East River, completely for free!

You might be hungry when you get back to campus, but don’t worry; there’s plenty of food to be had if you know where to look! Over every break, hardworking maintenance employees band together and throw out all the unrecognizable wads of miscellaneous food-based kludge from the dorm freezers. If you get to it before they do, it’s yours for the taking. Leaking packages of slushy ground beef might not sound too appealing—but hey, the price is right!

So there you have it. With these amazing spring break ideas, you can have the absolute most legal fun possible with your pants on, and all for a mere pittance! The next time you’re getting jealous of your friends partying it up in Croatia or Hawai’i, just think about the awesome plans that you have. And if all else fails, just hope you get hit by the campus shuttle—then, once you’ve recovered, you’ll be swimming in spring-break-vacation money!

Image courtesy of Oliver Stewart '25.

ARIES March 21 | April 19

HOROSCOPES

Madi Donat Astral Projector

When faced with a barrage of choices, such as when walking into the famed ice cream parlor next to your mom’s physical therapy office, don’t get yourself down freaking out about what flavor to get. At the end of the day, all cold things taste the same. This goes doubly true for other choices, like jobs (the coldest things).

LIBRA Sept. 23 | Oct. 22

Spending time in nature is so key to our well-being, especially now that the days are longer and we have more sun in the evenings. If you get the chance, I’d highly recommend sitting outside on one of the little covered tables on the patio behind the Great Falls Creamery, soaking up the sun and watching the fancy dogs walk by. Just a suggestion.

TAURUS April 20 | May 20

Did you ever do that thing where you kicked around a stupid heavy soccer ball filled with cream and salt to make ice cream? That seems like a ploy by Big Dairy to get us all creaming at home, and I never participated out of staunch elementary protest. But I can’t stop you; if you’re going to cream, do so with due diligence.

SCORPIO Oct. 23 | Nov. 21

Just because you are surrounded by untoward folks does not mean you can’t rise above. For example, the Great Falls Creamery resides between the vaguely-named “Property Collective” and the terrifying “Foundation for Government Accountability,” which might be a PAC or just a lobbying firm. Either way, the victorious Creamery chose kindness.

GEMINI May 21 | June 20

What is your preferred ice cream utensil? I like a nice hearty plastic spoon, but others may favor the infamous wooden paddle or just go straight in with the teeth and tongue, like some kind of maniac. Remain in awe of human ingenuity this week. While we may share 60 percent of our DNA with a banana, we know how to use tools and they don’t.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 | Dec. 21

The thing about ice cream, especially the ice cream next to my mom’s physical therapy office in Great Falls, VA, is that it is deceptively difficult to eat, and we as a society have just kind of forgotten about that part. As with all things we love, we are more than willing to see past the flaws. We must afford this courtesy to all.

CANCER June 21 | July 22

Not everything is for everybody, but you don’t get to where you are by pleasing everyone. Virginia tends not to be high on the list of favorite states, but it still has a lot going for it. For example, there is a really cute ice cream parlor in the town of Great Falls, next to my mom’s physical therapy office.

CAPRICORN Dec. 22 | Jan. 19

As we move into a season of restless energy, focus on what grounds you. Connecting with yourself can be really scary, but super rewarding. If you feel uncertain in your body, why not give physical therapy a try? I know a great practice in Great Falls, VA. After you’re done, why not pop into the creamery next door as a treat?

LEO July 23 | Aug. 22

Success can come in unlikely places, such as the success of the Great Falls Creamery in the somewhat overly-swanky shopping area of the Great Falls Village Centre, next to my mom’s physical therapy office. Don’t ever feel like you can’t succeed just because of your circumstances! Radical self-belief is always key.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20 | Feb. 18

Giving in to greed is always tempting, but we can’t let it win. When a small business contacts you, for example, promising a lifetime supply of their scrumptious wares in exchange for a free advertisement in the newspaper at your small liberal arts college, maybe don’t take the deal. There are better ways to spend time, even in the face of such temptation.

Make a list of your favorite things this week, and practice gratitude for every single one of them. For example, you might tear up with joy when the two 17-year-olds working the counter at the Great Falls Creamery give you an extra waffle chip in your sundae bowl. That’s just an example, though. You have to do yours on your own.

PISCES Feb. 19 | March 20

There is love and joy all around us! Don’t wait for the “right” moment to properly enjoy this beautiful life. Even if you do end up making a mistake and falling for a corporate scheme by a well-meaning small business, for example, there is always a bright side. Maybe you’ll get an extra waffle chip in your peanut butter cone next time.

Letter to the Editor: The case for a Disability Studies Program

The events of recent years should have made clear by now that few topics lie closer to the core of today’s pressing issues related to social injustice and inequality than disability.

That reality should have been clear after a pandemic in which 75-95% of Covid-19-related deaths occurred in persons with disabilities, disproportionately indigent, Black and Brown individuals with disabilities, according to the Centers for Disease Control and State Departments of Health.

It should have been clear after the events of last year in New York—after the New York City Mayor’s November 2022 authorization for “removal of a person who appears to be mentally ill and displays an inability to meet basic needs, even when no dangerous act has been observed,” prompting disability advocates and scholars to observe that “[t]he Ugly Laws have returned.”

It should have been clear after the New York State Senate and Assembly in May 2022 vastly expanded forced psychiatric treatment and involuntary commitment of indigent, Black and Brown persons with mental disabilities over the strong objections of disability, civil rights and homeless advocates.

It should have been clear after a year in which the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the New York State Senate and the Department of Health worked to weaken the Institutions for Mental Disease (IMD) rule, a provision in Medicaid strongly supported by disability and civil rights advocates and a critical bulwark against warehousing and institutionalization of persons with mental disabilities in psychiatric asylums.

It should have been clear to all New Yorkers by now that New York State laws still permit electroshock torture and authorize civil death through guardianships

and conservatorships, involuntary sterilization, disenfranchisement, and termination of parental rights on the grounds of disability. It should have been clear in the ways that Black and Brown students and students with disabilities continue to be surveilled through reporting, threat assessments and red flag laws, while these students and their communities are rarely included.

But it probably isn’t. Readers may be learning much of this now for the very first time in part because persons with disabilities remain a tremendously marginalized and invisible population. Despite making up over 30% of the U.S. population, according to the U.S. Census, persons with disabilities were included as only 3% of Biden appointees, and none in positions of leadership, according to the White House. They are included today as only 1.8% (8/435) of U.S. Representatives; 0.2% (16/7,386) of state legislators; only a handful of 1,770 federal judges; less than 2% of corporate board members at nonprofits; 0.9% of lawyers; and 3.1% of physicians. It isn’t clear because that same disability invisibility extends to our educational system and the academy.

Which leads me to ask: Vassar has programs in Africana Studies; Asian Studies; Jewish Studies; Latin American and Latinx Studies; Women, Feminist, and Queer Studies. It has departments in Chinese and Japanese; French and Francophone Studies; German Studies; Greek and Roman Studies; Hispanic Studies; Italian; and Russian Studies. Where is Vassar’s Disability Studies program?

I do not know. An email I received from President Elizabeth Bradley stated on May 28, 2021, that Vassar was “in fact working on a proposal for a Disabilities Studies curriculum.”

I have not heard anything since. But

I was disappointed to receive instead an email from President Bradley on Feb. 7, 2023, announcing the launch of a “Vassar Inclusive History initiative” that made no mention at all of disability, let alone of Vassar’s role in the eugenics movement. Vassar’s “Inclusive History” initiative almost certainly will not include the following excerpts from the tremendously insightful PBS American Experience documentary “The Eugenics Crusade,” which was released in 2018:

ARCHIVAL: [Margaret Sanger] We believe that married people who have transmissible diseases should not have children. No couple who has the disease of feeblemindedness or insanity or epilepsy should have children. Babies should not be brought into the world when the father’s income is obviously inadequate to provide for its food, clothing, or shelter.

NARRATOR: On August 5th, 1926, a crowd gathered at Vassar College to hear a lecture given by Margaret Sanger, the controversial founder of the American Birth Control League. Sanger’s reputation preceeded her. In her dozen years as a crusader for contraception and family planning, she’d been denounced, jeered, and jailed repeatedly. Now, she’d undertaken a cross-country speaking tour intended to bolster her cause by linking it to eugenics.

THOMAS C. LEONARD, HISTORIAN: Margaret Sanger was laser beam focused on promoting birth control, which she saw as a liberatory agent for women. It was a hard push, reproductive rights, contraception. Her embrace of the eugenicists was a way of getting some influential and powerful allies behind her cause.

NARRATOR: “The Question of race betterment,” Sanger told the Vassar audience, “is one of immediate concern and I am glad to say that … the Government has already

taken certain steps to control the quality of our population through the drastic immigration laws…. But while we close our gates to the so-called ‘undesirables’ from other countries, we make no attempt to discourage or cut down the rapid multiplication of the unfit and undesirable at home.”

Eugenics would eventually lead to the involuntary sterilization of thousands of individuals with disabilities, and to the ruling in Matter of Nilsson, 471 N.Y.S.2d 439 (N.Y. Sup. Ct. 1983) making New York one of 31 states plus Washington, D.C. that still have laws authorizing forced sterilization of disabled people, according to a report from the National Women’s Law Center. But the cause of eugenics and so many other social inequities imposed on disabled individuals, often by “experts” in medicine or health, can only be summed as the devaluation of disability perspectives, priorities and lived experiences. That is one reason why states as diverse as West Virginia, California, New Jersey, Oregon, Nevada and Pennsylvania now mandate disability-inclusive curricula in K-12 public schools. Perhaps such legislation in New York extending to postsecondary education may be required before colleges and universities including Vassar College acquiesce, finally include individuals with disabilities and come to recognize that they are agentic beings worth learning about. Or perhaps Vassar could live up to its promise of inclusion and finally create a Disability Studies program this year.

—Nicholas D. Lawson, M.D., J.D., Class of 2005, Georgetown Law Scholar, Immediate-Past Commissioner, American Bar Association Commission on Disability Rights.

For links to all referenced sources, visit The Miscellany News website.

Letter to the Editor: Why Conversations Unbound matters

As avid language learners, all three of us wanted a chance to regularly practice the languages we were learning in the classroom. Through Conversations Unbound’s programs at Vassar College, we have not only had opportunities to work on our foreign language skills, but we have also grown personally and professionally. Let us tell you how and why this program needs to stay at Vassar for all future language-learners.

“I miss asking for ‘un café con leche’ at the school dining hall in Madrid.”

-Michelle Wu

All of Vassar’s language programs emphasize learning the language through the culture, and we are fortunate to have opportunities to take classes where we are engaging with complex cultural aspects while strengthening our speaking, reading, listening and writing skills. Through Conversations Unbound, we are able to build on this strong foundation in the classroom and be further exposed to different people and different cultures. Every week, I find myself looking forward to laughing over the challenges of learning both French and Spanish at the same time with my conversation partner, Léon. He lives in Mexico City, though he’s from Burkina Faso, so I quickly discovered that both of us have/are learning Spanish and French. And while I get to hear about his favorite Burkinabè dish that he misses and as we discuss the escalating conflict in his home country, I feel like a real friendship has developed when I thought I was just practicing my Spanish.

“It’s hard to find that first word — my mind is buzzing. I want to feel less anxious to start a conversation in Arabic.”

-Michael LaCivita

This is now my third year studying Arabic at Vassar, and on reflection, I realized that the close-knit community of Vassar’s Arabic program was a critical reason why I have continued my studies and remained dedicated to achieving proficiency in this language. It is essential to feel comfortable with the people you practice your language with, and in Vassar’s Arabic Studies community, I have found that this strong support system is integral to supporting my language-learning. Speaking with my Conversations Unbound partner, Alaa, became an extension of this close-knit community. Our video calls were daunting at first, but through simple, informal chats where we discussed his life and mine, he helped me learn to trust myself and feel

confident in my speaking abilities. He often pushed me to “think less, just speak!” and soon the jitters, questions and hesitations before speaking started to subside. I never expected our simple conversations to naturally jumpstart my speaking abilities, and this was because of the connection I was (unconsciously) building with Alaa. Now I not only have the support of the Arabic program, but a conversation partner who also cares about me and my progress in learning this language.

“Speaking another language has begun to feel natural again. ” -Julia Segal

I felt stressed when starting a conversation in Spanish. I grew up speaking Spanish regularly, both in a dual-language program in my elementary school, and with my grandmother, who was born and raised in Panama. She is fluent in Spanish, Hebrew, Ladino (Judeo-Spanish) and English, and because of this, language has always been an integral part of my life and a source of connection to my heritage. However, while speaking Spanish over Friday night dinners with my grandmother came naturally, the idea of speaking Spanish in an academic context as I started college was quite intimidating. I was pleasantly surprised to find that a simple chat with my conversation partner, Karen, on anything from our favorite TV shows, to our shared love of cooking and baking, immediately helped to allay my stress. Soon, our conversation sessions became the highlight of my week and felt like an incredibly accessible and non-intimidating way of practicing language.

Inspired by these rich conversations and our partners’ enthusiasm, each of us joined the Conversations Unbound team as volunteers with the hope that we could help facilitate similar, beyond-just-language experiences to more students. Yet, volunteering with Conversations Unbound is about much more than just supporting language-learning. First, it expands our understanding of the privileges that we—students attending a private liberal arts college—often take for granted. We forget that access to stable internet connections is not a guarantee for all our conversation partners, so supporting the conversation partners, despite these challenges, is a learning opportunity for both our team and students alike.

At Vassar, professors work hard to teach us about the world outside of the life we are accustomed to. In the Decolonizing Digital Culture Hispanic Studies course, for example, we discuss necro-politics and the role

technology plays in perpetuating the consequences of colonization. Yet despite the rich classroom discussions and insightful readings, seeing these theoretical concepts in reality adds a critical nuance and practical application to what we are learning in the classroom. Our time with Conversations Unbound and our conversation partners allows us to break down the academic wall between ourselves and the material we are learning, deepening our understanding of the world around us in a way that just reading and writing academic papers cannot accomplish.

Further, as we respond to questions and troubleshoot issues between partners and students, we learn what it practically entails to see all sides, communicate effectively, mediate problems and build professional relationships. Students and conversation partners come from potentially very different backgrounds, yet rather than finding solutions that simply “make everyone happy,” we’ve learned that by encouraging each side to adopt a more critical lens about their partner and the situation, they can better understand each other, better communicate and have better conversations.

Problem-solving also requires strong communication skills. With Conversations Unbound, this means learning how to communicate in varied ways via different languages, as well as different styles and modes of communication. For instance, we tend to use voice memos when troubleshooting issues with conversation partners so the intonation and emotion of a typical conversation are not lost, despite the lack of physical human connection. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to communication, so adapting how we communicate best with students, professors and partners has been a steep, though important, learning curve.

Our respective managerial roles overseeing the programming help us build practical leadership skills. Yet with Conversations Unbound, leadership means taking a backseat. While we are in charge of facilitating the student-partner interactions, it is crucial that the conversation partners’ needs and preferences drive the program decisions, protocols and policies—not us. Good leadership means actively engaging with our partners on a weekly basis, listening to their feedback and then acting on it. For us, being in a role of authority actually means remaining in the backdrop and enabling conversation partners to define the organization. The value of participating in a program that guides us as leaders and

speakers cannot be overstated.

Lastly, up until this point we have discussed the benefit of Conversations Unbound to us. Through Conversations Unbound’s programming, partners have earned over $100,000 to date, some of which goes to paying for rent, school fees, work permits, among other needs, and we are proud to be part of a small, startup organization that continues to make a real impact.

Based on our experiences as both students participating in the Conversations Unbound program and as members of the dedicated all-volunteer team, we believe this program is critical to language-learning at Vassar and must remain embedded in language-learning curricula so that future students not only benefit from the rich cultural exchange, but also develop lasting friendships and have the opportunity to be a part of an organization that is truly making an impact on people’s lives. Since the Arabic program at Vassar is small in size compared to the Spanish and French programs, our Arabic conversation partners rely heavily on students’ willingness to participate and engage with Conversations Unbound. Arabic-learning students are able to learn from this rare cultural exchange, while also playing an important role in changing the lives of our conversation partners. We urge all language-learning students at Vassar to take advantage of what Conversations Unbound has to offer and thus support our mission to enhance the language-learning experience and empower our conversation partners.

-Michael LaCivita ’23, Julia Segal ’24 and Michelle Wu ’23

Conversations Unbound is a nonprofit organization, established in 2015 through a collaboration of Vassar students, professors and alumnae/i to enable displaced people to work as language conversation partners, reconfiguring traditional power dynamics by situating displaced people as experts imparting knowledge, as opposed to passive recipients of aid. The program was integrated as a required component of language-learning curriculum in Vassar's Arabic language program in 2016, then into Hispanic Studies courses in 2017 and later into French and Francophone Studies courses in 2020. All three language programs continue with Conversations Unbound today, and the organization also has consistent programs at Ohio State University and Michigan State University.

Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News.

Gun violence prevention requires systemic change

Britt Andrade Columnist

[CW: This article discusses gun violence and school shootings.]

Five minutes. I can be across campus from any classroom to my son’s daycare in five minutes if I sprint. I know this because after the Uvalde school shooting, I timed it. Most days, I love that my child attends daycare on the same campus where I take classes. It makes me less anxious knowing that I can get to him quickly if he gets hurt or is sick. But every time there is a shooting on a school campus, I realize that his daycare’s location also places him in danger. My heart stops beating for a moment when I have to think of my child out in the world without me there to protect him. And how can I protect him? My anxiety goes through the roof when I think about him attending elementary school in a few short years. Writing this article took days of stopping and starting again because my fear is that of every parent in America. Calls from the school are no longer mild inconveniences but heart-wrenching panic that the worst has reached your community.

79. According to the Gun Violence Archive, there have been 79 mass shootings in the United States this year.

1.6. If you divide the number of mass shootings in the United States this year (79) by the number of days in this calendar year (49), you find this number, which is equivalent to 1.6 mass shootings a day.

Seven. According to Education Week, there have been seven shootings at K-12 schools that ended in injuries or death in 2023.

12. Colleges and universities aren’t safe either. Michigan State University and the University of Virginia have both experienced gun violence and death during the 2022-23 school year, according to Best Colleges, bringing the all-time number of college shootings where three or more people

have died to 12.

The Gun Violence Archive defines a mass shooting as an incident in which four or more people, not including the gunman, are shot or killed. 45,222. That's how many people died in 2022 from a gun-related incident, per Pew Research. We have a problem with guns, but we have a bigger problem with the societal system that allows this to continue unimpeded, year after year.

I am not a part of the school shooting prevention generation. I was in high school when the Virginia Tech massacre happened. An adult when Sandy Hook and Parkland made the news. My peers, however, grew up with active shooter drills and the mantra of “run, hide, fight.” We have to stop running from this topic. We have to stop hiding from fear. We have to fight back against gun violence so that the next generation doesn’t have to learn to survive when they should be learning to thrive. The first place to start is not with gun laws, but with unburdening the legal system. According to Bridge Michigan, the shooter in the recent Michigan State attack had two legally purchased firearms, both of which he bought after a plea deal on a weapons charge in 2019. By offering the shooter a plea deal on a felony, the charge of illegally carrying a concealed weapon was dropped to a misdemeanor, removing jail time and a lifetime ban on possession of a firearm. We don’t know why he was offered a plea; it could have been a first offense, a benefit of privilege or because a prosecutor had hundreds of cases to get through and not enough time to do it. Changing the way we handle legal trials needs to happen—and it needs to happen fast. If local, state and federal prosecutors had the funding and resources to hire more attorneys, more legal aids and more district judges, then maybe this case wouldn’t have slipped through the cracks.

Maybe three students would still be alive and three families wouldn’t be asking these questions.

We also need better access to mental health resources and a deeper understanding of their benefits. Seeking mental health care still carries a stigma. That stigma, coupled with the American ideal of self-actualization, prevents people from seeking help. Those that do often seek help meet with the opposite of what they need. The Uvalde shooter exhibited all the classic warning signs of causing mass violence, according to ABC News. He was a high school dropout, or rather a high school pushout. He was pushed out of his school at 17 after only completing a ninthgrade level of education. His family claims that he was bullied for his stutter and his clothing. His former girlfriend claimed he often said he wouldn’t live long past 18. His internet history showed he looked up signs of psychopathy. He asked family members to buy him firearms before he was legally old enough, a practice known as a straw man sale, and they refused. This was a young man crying out for someone to see him, but everyone turned away. He became the school shooter that everyone said he would be because no one stepped in and got him counseling or reported him to the police. We can’t save everyone from their mental health crisis, but we should do our best regardless. We don’t know if the story would be different if he had had counseling or if he would have found ways around everyone anyways, but if that many people saw the danger he posed to himself and others, why didn’t they say anything? It's not snitching if it saves a life.

This brings me to gun laws. If you pass a background check in the United States, you can buy a firearm. There are no required classes on gun safety or responsible ownership. There isn’t a unified legal system for the sale of firearms, meaning that

people have and can buy weapons in one state and take them to another. If you want to know more about your state’s specific laws and regulations, they can be found at Giffords Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence. According to The Washington Post, this country has more guns than people, meaning it is a serious mistake to not have any unified training or understanding of gun safety for prospective buyers. I believe all states should ban straw man sales. If you can’t buy a gun legally, due to age or felony status, you shouldn’t have a gun at all. I believe that gun safety should be an optional class for anyone over the age of 12 because kids die every day playing with or accidentally firing a weapon that belongs to a parent or guardian. Organizations like Nationwide’s Children tell us that 1,300 children under the age of 18 die from shootings every year and that most victims are shot by male relatives, usually a brother. I believe in mandatory gun safety courses for everyone who owns a gun, with course refreshers every five years. I believe that anyone who owns firearms needs to report it on their life insurance policy and that mental health evaluations should be a part of training. Finally, I believe that police and security forces need better training on gun safety and de-escalation tactics, because as long as guns exist in America we need to be able to prevent as much loss of life as possible.

Gun violence is a major issue in this country. It shouldn’t be a political debate or an us vs. them conversation. It takes all of us to live in this world and all of us to change it. To my peers reading this: Stay safe, stay smart and stay tough. You have the power to change the world through your vote, your minds and your voices. To the parents and alumni who read this: Hug your kids, call them if you can and keep fighting for them. Keep fighting for change, and keep believing in us.

Maryam Bacchus/The Miscellany News.

First week of March Madness delivers

Nick Villamil Assistant Sports Editor

Every year, the NCAA brands its men’s basketball tournament as “March Madness,” confident that the field of 64 teams will deliver on what the promotion promises. The first two rounds of this year’s tournament did just that, as improbabilities seemed to materialize at every turn.

The madness was inaugurated with an early Thursday afternoon matchup between the University of Virginia and Furman University. Virginia, national champions in 2019 and conference champions this season, led for nearly the entirety of the game—as a successful power-five program would be expected to. Leading by 2 and just one pass past half court away from advancing, Virginia’s season unraveled as Furman intercepted what could have been the game-sealing pass near mid court and calmly transitioned into a three-point attempt so difficult that opponents will usually gladly concede it. But it's March. And less than five seconds were left in the game. So, of course, the shot was pure and the upset was on. Furman, seeded nine spots lower than Virginia, by a point.

But before the afternoon was over, 15-seed Princeton University stole the spotlight as the day’s Cinderella with a victory over the University of Arizona, a 2-seed and a National Championship favorite for many. Princeton had not won a tournament game since 1998, and 15 seeds had a 10-138 all-time record against 2 seeds heading into this year’s tournament, according to The Daily Princetonian. Led by Head Coach Mitch Henderson, a player on the ’98 team that sent powerhouse UCLA home, Princeton would not go away, maintaining striking

distance every time Arizona made a push. As the second-half continued on, Princeton found a push of its own, one Arizona had no answer for. Two days later in the round of 32, Princeton proved itself to be no fluke with a wire-to-wire victory against the University of Missouri, a 7 seed in this year’s tournament, to become only the fourth 15 seed to ever advance to the tournament’s second weekend. The Sweet Sixteen bid is also Princeton’s first since 1967.

Many saw shades of St. Peter’s University run to the Elite Eight as a 15 seed last year in Princeton. But that was before a third New Jersey-based underdog captured the landscape’s attention: 16-seed Fairleigh Dickinson University.

Only once before had a 16 seed beaten a 1 seed when FDU’s Friday night game against Purdue University tipped off. The matchup was supposed to be unfair, a given for a Purdue team that had been excellent all year. With FDU’s tallest player standing at 6-foot-6, Purdue’s 7-foot-4 All-American Zach Edey was supposed to dominate. Purdue was the Big Ten conference tournament champion; FDU had not even won its conference tournament and only earned an NCAA tournament berth because the team that beat FDU in its conference championship was ineligible for the tournament. In every way, FDU was outmatched, incapable of giving Purdue any kind of trouble. But when the game began, roles reversed. FDU’s feisty full court press and defensive strategy rattled Purdue. Even Edey, the man FDU could not guard without looking up at, struggled to operate. It was everything March Madness is meant to be and more as FDU Head Coach Tobin Anderson, who was coaching Division II only a year prior,

masterminded a performance that is simply never supposed to happen. The historic victory earned FDU a matchup against Florida Atlantic University on Sunday, which FDU lost, meaning the wait for a 16 seed to advance to the second weekend continues, but not without FDU reminding everybody why we tune into the tournament every March.

Along with these upsets, the tournament has also been a platform for the tremendous parity that the Division I basketball landscape has seemed to enjoy more every year. For the most dominant and storied programs, playing on the second weekend of competition is no longer a given. Nei-

ther Kansas, Kentucky, North Carolina nor Duke advanced to the Sweet 16, marking only the second time since 1980 that the round will not include any of them, according to CBS Sports. The east region included Purdue, Duke, Memphis and Marquette— all major conference tournament champions. None advanced past the Round of 32. And of the 16 teams still in the tournament, only five made it this far last year, so what this weekend holds is anybody’s guess. Notable matchups will include top-ranked Alabama against San Diego State, UCLA against Gonzaga, Xavier against Texas and UConn against Arkansas.

Here’s to more madness this week!

Vassar senior athletes reflect on their final seasons

Continued from Seniors on page 1

shot.”

Captain of the men’s squash team Sameer Mustafa ’23 shared this sentiment of not taking any final moments for granted, remarking, “To any athletes, make sure to enjoy your seasons with the team. I’ve learned in my last season that these memories last forever, so it’s important to stay present and cherish the moment.”

The squash season wrapped up at the end of February, and Mustafa expressed that he will miss traveling with his teammates and laughing on long bus rides. “My team has meant a lot to me, and they are the people I see the most on campus. This year has been the most fun so far, and we get along so great,” he shared. “I’m gonna miss them a ton.”

ing team member Leroy Wang ’23. He expressed, “The highlight of my season was definitely the Florida Training Trip. Being able to train hard with your teammates while also relaxing on the beach was a wonderful bonding experience, and I’ll cherish it for a lifetime.”

Wang, who has been swimming at Vassar since he was a first-year, reflected on the team’s growth, as well as his own: “Having seen the team’s growth over the past four years has been tremendous, and it’s crazy how I went from a wide-eyed freshman to a senior in what seems like such a short time. From a mentee to a mentor, the team has allowed me to learn and grow so much, and I’m very grateful for that.”

Similarly, field hockey team captain Ella Pearl ’23 described how much growing up with her team has meant to her, saying: “The team has meant everything to me for the last four years. When I came in as firstyear the team was there to support me in the transition which was especially meaningful.”

A season highlight for Pearl was preseason, as the team comes to campus two weeks before the academic year begins to start training. She described, “We use preseason to get to know the new members of our team and do various team bonding activities. I enjoy it because you’re working super hard on the field with all your best friends, and it feels really rewarding.”

They’ve been my favorite part of Vassar volleyball.” She continued, “I’ve had the best time with them, and I know I’ve made friends for life.”

Her teammates are what she’ll miss most after she leaves Vassar. “I'm so grateful for the time I’ve gotten with them,” she shared. “I’ve been especially lucky to have been able to live with some of them, and it’s been my favorite part of college.”

“Having seen the team’s growth over the past four years has been tremendous, and it’s crazy how I went from a wide-eyed freshman to a senior in what seems like such a short time.”

This was a standout season for the Vassar rugby program, as the men’s team grew significantly with the addition of new players. Roshong explained, “The men’s team was able to field a full A and B side for the first time since before the pandemic began. The seniors have done a lot of work to rebuild the team to what it used to be preCOVID, and are very proud of what we’ve been able to accomplish. Seeing the rookies dive head first into our sport and culture was incredible.”

And, of course, the women’s rugby team won its second consecutive national championship—“[W]atching and cheering on their victory was definitely a highlight of the fall,” Roshong expressed.

Traveling with the team has also been a highlight for men’s swimming and div-

Women’s volleyball player Carly Fajardo ’23 has also found her best friends through her sport. She expressed, “From my first day of preseason freshman year, my teammates have been my built-in best friends.

This team bond is also what has made Vassar men’s rugby so special for Rowan Roshong ’23. He said, “The rugby team has been a family to me. Freshman year, I made my first friends through the team. The rugby team has always felt unique at Vassar: The team was welcoming and full of some of the friendliest people I’ve ever met. Looking back, I’m happy for the friends I’ve made, and I hope VC rugby continues to be a family to more people.”

Not only will athletes miss their teams and the bonds they’ve formed, but they’ll also miss the reason they began competing in the first place: their sports. Stockman voiced, “I’ve been running competitively for eleven years, half my life—I honestly have no idea what it will look or feel like without it.” Pearl felt similarly, remarking, “I am grateful that I had a competitive outlet at Vassar, and that’s something I’m really going to miss.” Roshong echoed this sentiment, “Leaving VC rugby will be very hard for me. I don’t know that I’m truly ready to be done playing.”

But, of course, there is also peace that comes with a chapter ending. Senior athletes have put in the long hours and hard work. They’ve experienced the highs and lows with their teammates. And now the journey is almost over. Wang concluded, “It’s been a great ride, but retirement awaits.”

“To any athletes, make sure to enjoy your seasons with the team. I’ve learned in my last season that these memories last forever, so it’s important to stay present and cherish the moment.”

Image courtesy of Markus Spiske via rawpixel.

Image courtesy of Alisha Arden '25.

The Miscellany Crosswords

By Sadie Keesbury

"Misc Mini 1"

ACROSS

1. Kit-____ (candy bars)

5. Washington bills

6. Black bird

7. Rnd. where someone gets booted

8. Friends

DOWN

1. Down under “bear”

2. Comedic crusher

3. Overflows

4. Governmental ID

6. Weightlifters unit

"Misc Mini 2"

ACROSS

1. Abbreviation with a variant preceded by “BI” that gained popularity in the summer of 2020

4. With 4D, what you are doing right now

5. Fey and Turner, for two

6. Responsibility

7. Small dog’s cry

DOWN

1. Poster girl

2. Female bears, in Spain

3. Includes on an email, for short

4. See 4A

5. Something to play with

"Misc Mini 3"

ACROSS

1. Type of homeowners lending (abbr.)

6. Willem of “Spiderman”

7. Alcohol measure

8. Has to

9. Pub orders

DOWN

1. National wealth measure

2. Italian city known for cheese

3. Run _____ of (make enemies with)

4. Antlered animal

5. You might make four, to go in a circle

Answers to last week’s puzzle: "Willpower and Wordplay"

By Sadie Keesbury