Misc.04.18.2024

The Miscellany News

Chess clubs invites students

On Monday, April 8, I had the honor of speaking with members of the Vassar-Chadwick Chess Club, a lesser-known organization that gathers almost every Monday night in Rockefeller Hall 101 and 104. Tournaments officially start at 7:30 p.m, although many members trickle in just after 7 p.m. in order to catch up and discuss strategies. I was greeted with warm smiles and firm handshakes from all; I immediately felt welcomed despite the fact that I have very little chess knowledge, myself.

I sat down with President Ernest Johnson, Vice President Bob Simmons and Webmaster Robert McGough, who walked me through the rich history of their organization. The club was established in the 1930s by Stanley Chadwick, a resident of Poughkeepsie who was involved with various other chess organizations, including the Brooklyn Chess Club. Notably, there was a distinct uptick in membership in the 1970s, when the media was enthralled by American chess grandmaster Bobby Fischer’s level of prodigy, which Simmons referred to as the “Bobby Fischer boom.”

In the past, the organization used to compete with other clubs in the area or go to local prisons to play. Today, however, the club primarily plays on Vassar campus—and they are looking for new members. To enter into

a Vassar-Chadwick tournament, you must be a member of the U.S. Chess Federation (USCF). But, rest assured, it is incredibly easy to register: just go onto their website and click the “join” button. Simmons added that he and Johnson are more than willing to help any newcomers register: “We can [register you] in minutes. You can even get a magazine, too.”

Simmons also noted that Rockefeller Hall 104 used to be known as the “skills” room, while 101 was the tournament room. Everyone present agreed that they might be interested in reinstating more casual, skill-building opportunities in the future for hesitant players who might have less confidence in their skill set. Ultimately, each gentleman noted that they want Vassar-Chadwick to feel like a resource and social outlet that students on campus can readily utilize, with Simmons stating: “No matter where you are on the scale, whether you are a beginner or a seasoned pro, we have players of your level here.” Simmons also noted that they have old chess boards available for use and to borrow, if students are interested.

The enthusiasm toward the club and chess itself was palpable, with each member kindly expressing their learning trajectory. Many members recalled they had started at a young age—some as young as five years old—while others began learning well into adulthood. Despite the various levels of experience and skill, the members clearly care deeply about

College’s student newspaper of record since 1866

IYEC inspires future generations

Maryam Bacchus Editor-in-Chief

As the spring season approaches, students are eagerly considering their plans for the summer and next steps into their futures. While many at Vassar are applying to jobs and graduate school, the succeeding generations are in the process of college application season, and visiting campuses across the world. It is an important transitional time in the lives of students of all ages. As such, the theme of the third annual Immigrant Youth Empowerment Conference (IYEC) was “Immigration, Education and Hope.”

On April 5, 2024, Vassar College hosted over 100 high school students and chaperones from across the Hudson Valley region for the IYEC. The conference was brought to the College by Assistant Professor of Education Jaime L. Del Razo in Fall 2018. Set to be an annual event, the conference occurred again the following year, then suffered a three year hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Initially inspired by the conference at his graduate alma mater, the University of California, Los Angeles, Del Razo noted in a written correspondence, “Through this conference, we hope immigrant youth will add our conference as a source of empower-

Leikeli47 brings attitude and inspiration to Spring Concert

Girl blunts were blazing last Saturday on Main Drive when New York rapper Leikeli47 took center stage as the headliner for the Vassar College Entertainment (ViCE) Spring Concert, celebrating 50 years of hiphop at Vassar. The performance was the conclusion of a full evening of events, including a student art fair and two openers.

The night began at 6 p.m. with the student art fair. For the second year, ViCE invited students to sell handcrafted items. Last year, due to heavy rain, the fair was postponed twice before being canceled. This year, the plan came to fruition, with student vendors lining the outskirts of Main Drive to sell jewelry, prints, art and customized clothing, among other items. ViCE Social Media Manager Sebastian Montañez ’25 commented on the success of the evening and art fair, giving credit to the org’s co-chairs, Kwabena Adae ’26 and Dora Levite ’24, in written communication to The Miscellany News. “Kwabena and Dora were leading the org to success all day long! The art fair was a success too! We had like over 20 students selling their beautifully handcrafted (miscellaneous) things.” With so many handcrafted and creative objects for sale, it was hard not to find something to adorn either yourself or your dorm.

In the wake of JPEGMAFIA’s Spring Concert cancellation last year, I was excited for a

clearish sky and a guaranteed performance. I had spent a good week listening to the artists’ music in preparation. The concert began with Vassar’s own Sir J Cryptic around 7:15 p.m., whose set was in ways reminiscent of New York drill scene acts such as Moh Boretta, evilgiane and POLO PERKS, as well as in some ways Autumn!, although not static. The music carried through campus, letting everyone know the show was beginning. As he continued, the energy of the audience grew, overflowing into Florida-born rapper 454’s set, which began around an hour later. As the sun set, 454 took the stage. Performing tracks from his two solo albums, “4 REAL” and “FAST TRAX 3,” as well as two new solo releases and songs from an EP collaboration with the rap group SURF GANG, the genre-shifting rapper brought his classic drum and bass tempos mixed with glitchy, hyperpop-esque beats to the crowd. I was particularly excited to hear “STITCH + LILO” and “TALES FROM THE HOOD” off of “FAST TRAX 3,” which was released in 2022. After shuffling up to the front left of the stage, my friends and I were ready to dance, sing along to what we knew or could pick up, and enjoy our second-to-last Spring Concert. 454’s ability to perform, get the crowd moving, and interact with the audience set the tone for what would come with Leikeli47’s performance, as he gave introductory backstory to some of his songs and spoke candidly with the audience. He shared that the song he

released with SURF GANG last year, “BARBIE,” was finished and produced before the release of the film directed by Greta Gerwig. One of my friends in attendance, Lucy Gundel ’25, noted how this affected the audience, saying, “I really liked his vibe. He danced around a lot and brought great energy to the crowd.” I was in total agreement, and reflecting on the controversy surrounding Vassar students’ disrespect for the opener of the Spring Concert my freshman year, Indigo De Souza, I appreciated how the audience interacted with 454 and thought his set led into Leikeli47’s main act nicely, matching the energy of the performance to follow. Around 9 p.m., it was finally time for

Leikeli47 to take the stage. Trying my hardest to maintain my spot as the crowd swelled, I waited patiently to hear my very own freshman-year anthem, “Girl Blunt,” which could be credited with single-handedly making me a friendship or two in the first few weeks of school that have lasted to this day. Although the song brings up memories of the smell of Main Building’s unrenovated fourth floor and treacherous pilgrimages to the THs, I was excited and a bit nostalgic nonetheless. As soon as she took the stage, you could automatically tell how genuine and unapologetic she was, shaping the atmosphere for her following performance. She got through a few

Image courtesy of Ciara McIntyre ’25.

Image courtesy of Rebecca Rodriguez ’26.

Immigrant Youth Empowerment Conference returns to campus

Continued from IYEC on page 1

ment for their academic and life journey.”

The day began in Taylor Hall, where attendees received souvenir shirts and programs during the check-in process, then proceeded to an auditorium for opening remarks and a keynote address, the latter of which was given by Sofia Bonnet, Director of Diversity and Inclusion at Microsoft. Bonnet emigrated to the United States from Mexico in the early ’90s, and for much of her career was a working mother of twins. During her address, she captured the attention of her audience with a vulnerable and real depiction of the bicultural experience of many people of color in the United States. Specifically, she spoke about the difficulty of straddling two worlds, continuously translating between languages, logic and mannerisms, and how the daily existence of a person of color is often a performance, conducted in order to survive. The conclusion of her speech was a call to action in which she implored students to shed harmful stereotypes, embrace their biculturality and remain steadfast in their pursuit of education. She said, “Education is the only thing that will make you take a step into a ladder

your parents probably never were able to reach.”

Following the keynote, attendees were given the opportunity to choose from several different workshops across two breakout sessions. One workshop, titled “We are the future: Immigrant students and educational resilience,” was presented by Daniel Duque Hernandez ’27. The content reflected Hernandez’s own college application journey and highlighted the difficult decisions he faced on the road to matriculating at Vassar. His talk also explored education as defiance for many first-generation students, including himself. Hernandez explained how important it was that he remain adamant in his decision to commit to Vassar, although he faced doubts in his personal life. He encouraged the students in the room to embrace discomfort, especially during difficult decisions and at institutions like Vassar, in order to propel themselves forward.

Another workshop, hosted by Mirka Juárez ’26, was “Self advocacy in education.” Juárez began by asking attendees to introduce themselves as they felt comfortable and then asked for voluntary definitions of the term self-advocacy. Afterward, the room

broke out into small discussion groups for a reflection activity. Participants answered a series of questions about how they have advocated for themselves in the past, instances where they should have advocated for themselves and what the most challenging thing about self advocacy has been. Following these small group discussions, participants were given the option to share what they had spoken about. Juárez then emphasized the importance of self-advocacy for first-generation and immigrant students to fight systemic inequalities and build communities, and as a form of self care.

Seowon Back ’24 also offered a workshop during the second session, during which she explored how art can spark conversation, specifically to challenge narratives about immigrant communities. In a written correspondence, Back reflected on the workshop development process, inspired by a lesson about the necessity of inspiring hope in undocumented students during a class with Del Razo. She wrote, “The centrality of hope inspired my workshop idea. I developed my workshop considering the ways that a collaborative art process can form as conversation starters among students and

between the facilitator.” Considering the overall theme of the conference and how it related to her educational experiences, Back explained, “Very often the support we got in the classroom was not geared towards our immigrant experiences. The conference demonstrated the potential of K-12 schooling to center the lives of immigrant populations in the U.S.”

After the workshop sessions, conference-goers, panelists and volunteers alike gathered in Vassar’s dining hall, Gordon Commons, to enjoy lunch altogether. The group then proceeded back to Taylor Hall for a plenary session, moderated by Del Razo. The session featured panelists Alicia Lewis ’18 and Jose Magaña ’25, who both immigrated to the United States as children. During the time, they largely explored the theme: “Losing hope is not an option.”

The day concluded as it began, with final remarks offered in Taylor Hall before students departed to their respective schools. Reflecting on the event, Del Razo wrote, “Seeing [the students] engaged in the multiple spaces of the conference was inspiring, moving, and special. In the end, it is for them, about them, and because of them.”

Students host ‘Activating Asian America’ conference

Now upperclassmen themselves, they started planning the event over Winter Break.

Over the weekend of April 6th to April 7th, Vassar student organizers hosted an intercollegiate conference titled “Activating Asian America” to foster discussion and build a coalition across campuses. In her opening remarks, one of the organizers, Jillian Lin ’25, noted, “In the words we’re now familiar with, it is a conference that seeks to bring together Asian/American students from private liberal arts institutions in the Northeast with shared visions of political and community organizing.” She went on to say, “It’s a convening rather than a conference, and it is a creative, grassroots endeavor.”

The conference had 45 participants and included representatives from eight schools besides Vassar, including Barnard in New York City, Smith in Massachusetts and Swarthmore in Pennsylvania.

Organizers Lin and Lavanya Manickam ’25 first started thinking about hosting a conference when they were first-years, inspired by upperclassmen’s ideas. They also took inspiration from finding archives that showed conferences happening at Vassar in the past.

The organizers were explicit that the event was organized outside of the Asian Students’ Alliance (ASA). Though a few of the principal organizers are on the ASA executive board, others were not. Organizer Malia Weiss ’26 noted that she was inspired to get involved through taking several courses that focus on Asian American topics. She said, “I really appreciated the opportunity to be involved in this space and not have it just be an org space.”

Lin specified, “In short, this was an event in collaboration with ASA and also Vassar’s Asian American Studies Working Group, but it really existed outside of any structural org space.”

Organizers reached out to other schools through professors, student contacts, and student organization leaders. Lin said in her remarks, “Our collective is gathered from Asian/American students interested in organizing, whether in official org spaces or not.” Manickam said, “For the funding, we turned to the American Studies [Program] because a lot of the professors who inspired us and whose knowledge we brought into the event were from the American Studies [Pro-

gram].” Participants were also encouraged to secure funding from their own colleges for hotels and transportation.

The conference included five workshops: on Saturday, they held two workshops, titled “Asian/American, Asian America, and Education” and “Art, Imagination and the Archive,” in addition to school introductions. Sunday included three workshops, titled “Asian/American Activism and Movement for Palestine: Interrogating the (Neo)liberal Arts Institution,” “Communities of Care - Organizing for Sustainability” and “Movement Sustainability and Legacy.”

These workshops were structured around presentations, readings, art projects and, most importantly, discussion. Though the conference was led by a few student organizers, Manickam said, “We wanted it to be a grassroots space, not where we were learning from someone but learning with someone.”

For example, Sunday’s “Asian/American Activism and Movement for Palestine” workshop involved a reading and discussion of Viet Thanh Nguyen’s article, “Palestine Is in Asia: An Asian American Argument for Solidarity.” The conference organizers used the article as a jumping-off point for discussion on how to refer to, and challenge, Nguyen’s language on expansive Asian American identity alongside expansive solidarity for Palestine. In addition to group conversation, Barnard also presented on their campus climate surrounding the current conflict.

Organizer Minkyo Han ’25 noted that one challenge of an event like this was that the attendees were all in different stages of political and academic organizing and activism at their own schools. Weiss pointed out that this was a benefit, saying, “It was also one of the biggest strengths…that we were all at different stages and in different places.” Building on this idea, Lin said of the conference, “A lot of intellectual labor went into it and [the] careful framing of these conversations [to] bring out that strength. Like, how do you foster conversation so that people are actively learning from one another in their very, very different contexts?”

An important aspect of these conversations was the connections made between participants. The organizers commented on the fact that it felt sad to say goodbye, even after

just spending two days together. Weiss said, “I think those connections are an important part of what I’m going to get out, or I have gotten out of it and what I would hope and I think participants also got out of [the conference].” Manickam added, “People were holding each other very carefully and intentionally, and there was a lot of trust and vulnerability there.”

Those bonds were especially important when it came to breaking the news on Sunday that Avery Kim ’26 had passed away. As a valued member of the Vassar community, the loss of Kim left a profound impact on the conference’s attendees and the school as a whole. Organizers described the difficulty they faced in holding space for this loss during the conference, saying they debated whether or not to continue with the event at all. Ultimately, they made a conscious decision to inform the participants and acknowledge his passing. “We felt it was important to make that clear to the conference as we kept going and really holding it with us, especially as we talked about community and using care as a way to… build powerful relationships that make organizing work more sustainable,” Lin said.

As the conference wrapped up, participants discussed accountability and longevity in the “Movement Sustainability and Legacy” workshop. They created a directory of contacts so that participants could stay in contact past the moment of the conference. Manickam and Lin hope that first-years especially can remain points of contact, as turnover is a big obstacle for student organizers. Manickam said, “It felt very much like a starting point of something that’s going to expand beyond the moment of the conference.”

Lin spoke on the importance of having a record of the conference outside of their own group, explaining, “Even in our problematizing the institution, this is still very important that we have this on the record as a way to connect us to both a past archive of resources and to present organizers and people interested in connecting to us through this work and this article.” She also hopes future students will be able to find a record of their work and this conference.

To wrap up the interview, Manickam concluded, “This work does not exist in isolation, and we will always be down to connect.”

Clara Alger News Editor

Image courtesy of Sophie Shen ’24.

ARTS

Leikeli47 brings attitude and inspiration to Spring Concert

Continued from Leikeli47 on page 1

songs before inviting students on stage with her, specifically the ones who came dressed for the occasion. Another friend of mine, Matthew Graham ’25, highlighted this, saying, “I enjoyed how organic some parts felt like the multiple freestyles and the various crowd interaction moments. It was exciting because of how off-the-cuff it was. The improvisational elements made it feel less like a planned event and more like a true live show.”

Leikeli47 not only took the time to invite students up to show off their outfits, their dances and their energies but also took time from her set to speak to those in attendance. In addition to shouting out Vassar’s professors and students, she added, “This ain’t easy. These courses ain’t easy. But guess what, you’re doing it. So give it up for yourselves! The stage is set. It is waiing for you. It is waiting for you educators, stylists, engineers and doctors!” Everyone acted accordingly, cheering and clapping for her, each other and themselves. These moments brought the show to another level, engaging the community and inspiring us all to go forward in whatever path we feel passionately about. Which is always nice to hear, especially from Leikeli47 in the midst of the last few weeks of a short and hectic semester. The crowd started to pick up speed while people bounced and sang along to the title track from her 2017 album, “Wash & Set,” as it reverberated through the speakers. Her genre-bending musicianship—spanning across East Coast hip-hop, house, pop rap and R&B—as well as her playful lyricism were noticeable throughout the set. Leikeli47 followed with the track “Attitude” off of the same album, instructing the crowd to sing along as she held the microphone out

from the stage. DJ Grizz, the DJ accompanying her, also played with the crowd, adding to the interactive nature of the performance. Kaila Dunn ’25 particularly enjoyed his presence, saying after the show, “Not everyone knew her songs, so I think Leikeli47’s DJ really helped to facilitate the vibes of a hype

environment.” That being said, songs like “Chitty Bang” and “Miss Me,” both bold with their sharp lyricism and catchy hooks, were easy for the crowd to sing and clap along to the clean but rambunctious rhythms.

Leikeli47 ended her set with “Girl Blunt” and “Money,” two upbeat and well-known tracks. She brought the concert to a final lively burst as the crowd of hundreds joined her almost bar-for-bar for the final tracks. While the crowd jumped and swayed, I tried to keep standing while yelling as loud as I physically could to my freshman-year anthem.

Vampire Weekend reanimates indie in new album

Benjamin Kaplan Columnist

Very few artists can return to a scene they transformed and deliver a project that both builds on their past sound and creates something fresh. Indie rock darling Vampire Weekend, headed by frontman Ezra Koenig, have returned from a five-year hiatus and have done just that with their new album, “Only God Was Above Us.”In a compact, loud yet contemplative project that blends the indie rock of the 2010s with fresh production of the 2020s, the band has rekindled the magic they first brought to the scene when they were just Columbia students in the mid-2000s. I started listening to Vampire Weekend back in my freshman year of high school, per the recommendation of my sister in college, and it is a great feeling to have the band at peak performance again just a click away in my Noyes dorm.

From beginning to end, “Only God Was Above Us” has a distinct goal of bringing in the listener with either softer soundscapes or radical decisions in the production, clearly demonstrating that the melancholic, laidback tone of the band’s last album “Father of the Bride” from 2019 is out. Instead, we have a project that brings back the elements of indie rock from the band’s debut album “Vampire Weekend” back in 2008 in terms of vocals, with production and aesthetics more reminiscent of their 2013 magnum opus “Modern Vampires of the City” . This is not to say this album does not have its own identity, though. From the durgy subway car on the album cover to the retro footage in the music videos, the backdrop of this album is

the dilapidated New York City of the 1970s, a far cry from the folksy outlook of “Father of the Bride” or the Williamsburg hipster vibes the band became famous for back in the 2000s.

But what about the music? It is a slight return to the high quality music of “Modern Vampires of the City,” to put it simply, with some new twists and a fresh coat of paint to their sound when it comes to implementing innovations made by the indie rock scene the band helped pioneer nearly two decades ago. The opening track “Ice Cream Piano” is a great microcosm of this, along with the lead singles of “Capricorn” and “Gen-X Cops.” “Ice Cream Piano” has a slow start with Koenig despondently whispering into the mic about some crazed love before fast-paced drums and piano crash into the mix halfway through, just as Koenig adds a degree of enthusiasm to his vocals. “Capricorn” is slow and tender, led by the calm drums found on most tracks of the project, before the second chorus where a loud distorted guitar, edited to the point of sounding industrial, bursts in. This distorted guitar returns throughout the other lead single “Gen-X Cops,” evoking a kind of dichotomy between soft vocals and aggressive production reminiscent of fellow indie artist Sufjan Stevens’ experimental project “Age of Adz” from back in 2010.

While pulling from their past, the band does not just stick to one of their older projects. The orchestration that Vampire Weekend has always been known for—seen on tracks like “Ladies of Cambridge” and “Unbelievers”—returns in a more chaotic way on the second track “Classical,” whereas the synth-pop elements of the band’s sophomore

album “Contra” appear in arpeggiated synths of “Connect.” The track “Mary Boone” is a highlight of this album, pulling from the band’s past by combining the ethereal art rock pastiche and background choir vocals that made Vampire Weekend’s 2013 track “Ya Hey” such a powerful song. If you are like me and grew up enjoying the tight synth-pop beats of “Contra” and feeling some kind of religious existentialism in high school while listening to “Modern Vampires of the City,” then this album will hit you where nostalgia for a simpler, indier and sleazier time.

But alongside these songs, which combine the aesthetics of a dirty ’70s New York City and various other themes the band explores, “Only God Was Above Us” also has tracks that completely change what a Vampire Weekend song can be. Halfway through the tracklist, “The Surfer” is a chilling yet groovy track that pulls influences from blues, jazz and psych-rock to create a truly emotional soundscape for Koenig to sing calmly over, reminiscent of Lana del Rey’s album “Ultraviolence” or the lo-fi sound of Mac Demarco. The vast ambience of “The Surfer” is partly due to former band member Rostam returning for production duties. The outro “Hope” is a sprawling and beautifully produced seven-minute art-rock piece that is carried by Koenig’s despondent singing, shining piano keys throughout, and loud guitars coming in and out of the mix. Instrumentation is a high point of this album, be it the heavy bass and orchestra partway through “The Surfer” or the Beach Boys-esque guitar in mid-album highlight “Prep-School Gangsters” that makes the track feel like a darker take on the band’s classic song “Oxford Comma” from

back in 2008. These three songs alone redefine the band.

Pulling this all together is incredible instrumentation and production throughout the album. The focus in the mix is mainly on the lower end with heavy bass and drums, accompanied by higher-ranged sounds like guitars or piano. Ezra Koenig gives a vocal performance throughout that is both intimate and distant; occasionally he sounds like he is talking just to you, and other times he is drenched in despondent reverb that makes him feel like a far-off figure recounting a story. This will be a project that ages with the utmost of grace and, similar to “Modern Vampires of the City” from 2013, will sonically go on to inspire and amaze listeners and fellow musicians for many years to come.

To take a step back from the individual songs, it quickly becomes clear that this album is already one of the best of this year. Out of the 10 songs spanning a 47-minute-long experience, I could not name one I would regularly skip or speak badly on. This is Vampire Weekend and Ezra Koenig showing the world that 16 years after an album that changed the indie-scene forever, 11 years after an album that shook up that scene again, and five years after an album that showed they were not perfect, they still have it. They can still put out a project that sucks you into a different world of beautifully strange and eclectic soundscapes. After all these years, they can still appeal to both the pretentious indie music enjoyer or another generation of high schoolers walking to school wanting to try out that cool band called Vampire Weekend their sister in college recommended.

Image courtesy of Ciara McIntyre ’25.

ARTS

Revisiting ‘Free to Be… You and Me’

Charlotte Robertson

If your childhood was anything like mine, you owned Marlo Thomas’ illustrated book “Free to Be… You and Me” and its companion CD, featuring recordings by Diana Ross, Shel Silverstein, Mel Brooks and The New Seekers. Released in 1972 in collaboration with the Ms. Foundation for Women, the “Free to Be” project—which later included an ABC television special—aimed to teach children about gender equality. “A person should wear what he wants to/ And not just what other folks say./ A person should do what she likes to/ A person’s a person that way,” character actor Billy De Wolfe recites on “Don’t Dress Your Cat in an Apron.”

The impact of “Free to Be” was tremendous. The book became a classic. The series won a Peabody Award. And in 2021, the album was inducted into The Library of Congress’ National Recording Registry. Former Supreme Court Justice and trailblazer for women’s rights Ruth Bader Ginsberg called the titular song the definition of feminism. My mom and dad may have had very different parenting styles, but in raising three daughters, they agreed on one thing: My sisters and I would be empowered girls. We would know that we could do anything and be anything we wanted. They encouraged us to wear princess dresses and practice taekwondo; to paint jewelry boxes and look at bugs under microscopes; to speak up in class and speak up when we were angry. I hesitate to call “Free to Be” a staple in our house—it was just something that was always there. I cannot remember a time in my childhood that predates that sweet book.

As I grew older, I grew out of “The land where the river runs free,” as the opening poem imagines. It felt dated. Who did not believe that girls could be firemen and that boys could cry? I forgot about the banjos and the comedy sketches. “Free to Be” had served its purpose in becoming a relic. My generation was proof that progress is real.

On April 9, the Arizona Supreme Court greenlit the revival of an 1864 law that bans nearly all abortions—including cases of rape and incest—and prosecutes any person who assists anyone with an abortion. On April 10, I was washing my hands in the Noyes second-floor bathroom when someone started playing “Parents Are People” in the shower. I decided maybe now was the time to revisit Thomas and her friends.

I found a plastic-protected copy of “Free to Be” on the ground floor of the library. Suddenly, it was 2010. The illustrations alone— line drawings of children with disproportionately large tongues reaching toward ice

cream, Silverstein’s imagined “little lady,” Sesame Street characters driving trucks and riding in strollers, colorful watercolor people holding hands—pulled out the most buried memories from my brain. None of them were particularly interesting or significant, just the feeling of carpet under my knees, the way the sun looked from the old living room window. It surprised me how seamlessly I fell into this scene, some insignificant afternoon 14 years ago.

All these years later, the stories in “Free to Be” hold up. There is “The Night We Started Dancing” and “My Grandma,” which teach children to embrace and honor their ancestors’ heritage. There is “Doris Knows Everything,” about a little girl visiting the Welfare Office with her mother. “A Father Like That” ends with a boy vowing to be a better father than his absent one, and the adorable “The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe,” relays the wise advice: “Children be bold. / Then you’ll grow up / But never grow old.”

“Atalanta,” by Betty Miles, might be my favorite story. Princess Atalanta is known for her extraordinary brain and athleticism. For these reasons, men follow her around, begging for her hand in marriage, but she wishes to see the world first, much against her father’s wishes. The premise is familiar but pauses at the threshold of cliché, for Atalanta’s appearance is not mentioned once in the eight-page parable. She is admired for her cleverness and brilliance—a refreshing twist that, however subtly, demonstrates to young readers that women are desirable beyond the physical. Oftentimes, in fairytales, a princess’ intellect is a complement to her beauty—the “whole package” scenario. And while it is nice to read about how beautiful princesses are also capable and strong—that their beauty does not hinder their capability and strength—it is nicer to read about a princess that is, perhaps, not beautiful at all.

Atalanta and her father agree to hold a race between Atalanta and her suitors. If she wins, she can do what she wishes, but if she loses, she will wed the winner. As readers, we assume that Atalanta will win the race, but actually, she ties with a man called Young John. But Young John does not want to marry Atalanta. He is only interested in being her friend. The two spend a lovely afternoon together, talking about geography and eating cheese. Another twist: “Atalanta” centers the importance of platonic relationships over romantic ones.

The text sits alongside four lovely pictures that imitate relief prints made out of rubber or wood stamps. The first two, depicting Atalanta studying the stars with her telescope among a collection of books

and cats and Atalanta showing her father how to build a pigeon house, are in black and white. They are scene-setting pictures, building the backdrop of Atalanta’s story. The other two pictures are full of color. The print of Atalanta’s race, spreading across two pages, is crowded with cheering faces. In the left corner, a band blows through bugles. The king sits in amusement, distinguished by his golden crown. What stands out the most, though, is Atalanta’s black hair, stark in contrast to the green grass and pink costumes of her spectators. Long hair is Atalanta’s only defining feature in comparison to her suitors, as she also wears pants and a flowing blouse. In fact, all of the competitors are quite androgynous; they are not men running against a woman, they are all simply people, racing. Gender neutrality is a major component of “Free to Be”, as Thomas sought to write and depict characters with gender-neutral traits. The final print is layered with ocean waves, sprawling lines of houses and collections of trees. Front and center is Atalanta, riding a blue horse and waving goodbye to her home. She is embarking on her own adventure, ready with color and vibrant possibility.

There is no audio version of “Atalanta” on the “Free to Be” album. The story stands well on its own. But there are other episodes that benefit greatly from a spoken narration, specifically, “Boy Meets Girl,” about two freshly born babies. Mel Brooks’ deep,

gravelly voice hilariously insists that he is a girl baby and that his crib companion, voiced by Thomas, is a boy. The two babies go back and forth debating who they are. When Thomas asks Brooks why their gender matters, Brooks says, “Well, if you’re a boy and I’m a girl you can beat me up. Do you think I want to lose a tooth my first day alive?” to which Thomas responds, “What’s a tooth?” In the end, the babies learn that their aspirations—fireman versus cocktail waitress—their ability to keep secrets, their fear toward mice, do not define them. I used to recite this skit at the dinner table, trying on the two different voices. It was fun.

Thomas’ collection of stories, songs and poems is a tapestry of immense nostalgia and comfort. Re-reading and re-listening to “Free to Be”, I felt something I had not felt in a very long time: that childlike certainty that one can actually, seriously do anything. A year after the book and album were released, in 1973, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of Roe, establishing abortion as a protected constitutional right. Now, as women’s reproductive health care comes under continuous fire in the United States, my heart aches for those second-wave feminists who collaborated on “Free to Be” currently watching their life’s work unravel. Thomas dreams of a land “Where the children are free.” Hopefully, one day, my children can laugh at the fact that such a land was ever contested.

Charlotte Robertson/The Miscellany News,

Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News,

FEATURES

Vassar-Chadwick Chess Club seeks new members

Continued from Chess on page 1

each other and their craft. McGough noted that he started competing in tournaments in his thirties.

McGough also expressed his gratitude for the lively in-person social dynamics of the group: “There is a kind of camaraderie in the group that makes it much more appealing than online chess websites,” he said. “Ernie [Johnson] made a tricky move on me, and I suddenly realized that I was in big trouble.”

Simmons agreed, adding, “We try to make sure everyone who comes here has a great experience.” Both Simmons and Johnson particularly emphasized that it is important that they sacrifice adequate time and energy to ensure a productive club atmosphere. “We try to make sure everyone who comes here has a great experience,” Simmons noted. He later added, “When players play here, they get a real taste of what tournaments are so that in the future they feel prepared.”

Although there are immense socialization benefits of in-person playing, there is something to be said about using online resources to learn how to play. Ronald Montanez, a younger member of early high school age, recalled: “I started learning how to play chess from YouTube and from friends. People in

front of you [during in-person matches] won’t know how to play thirty moves ahead.” He noted that playing against internet bots has both benefits and drawbacks. Johnson laughed in response, expressing, “Players today are stronger at a younger age than we were.”

This online-learning strategy is not unique to Montanez. I spoke to the mother of one player, Peter, who filled me in on her son’s learning trajectory: “My son has studied to play chess since he was six or seven years old. He taught himself how to play chess on the internet. He has a talent for playing chess, and I found a coach for him and I found [The Vassar-Chadwick Chess Club].” She went on to explain that the club bolstered his communication and strategizing skills, saying, “My son improved his rating by 200 points since he came here.”

The enthusiasm and passion possessed by each member I spoke to was both admirable and inspiring. One member, Atul, runs eight miles to attend the club each week, stating: “I found out [about the club] from the Hyde Park Chess Club and from Ernie [Johnson], and now I come to attend meetings here.” Moreover, Johnson, Simmons and McGough wanted to express their gratitude to the

college for providing them space to play in Rockefeller Hall. Any student regardless of experience level can explore the offerings and energy of the Vassar-Chadwick Chess Club.

For more information, they have a website, accessible at http://vassar-chadwick.com/ club/. In the words of Johnson: “Just come out and play!”

Noise on Noyes hosts student bands, excites attendees

er,” said Grant Rean-Loomis ’26.

On April 14 from 3 to 6 p.m. Noyes House hosted their annual event, Noise on Noyes, in the Jetsons Lounge. Initially, the event was intended to be a music festival-esque affair held on Noyes Circle, hence the name “Noise on Noyes,” but was moved inside due to thunderstorms. Student bands, such as Bedlam and 30 Minutes Late performed their sets while other students sold their unique variety of clothes, shoes, jewelry and other knickknacks. There was free popcorn, cotton candy, cupcakes and beverages like lemonade available as well.

Rose Golick ’26, who was selling her clothes at the event, commented, “It’s fun to see everyone’s cool clothes. I’m jealous.” The Jetsons Lounge was filled with students dancing, browsing and enjoying the snacks provided to them, transforming it into a cozy but lively, water-proof afternoon hub of activity. Many students commented on the sense of community they felt at the event. “I love to see my house come togeth-

Throughout the event, this sense of community and togetherness of the residents was apparent. Gabe Slavin ’26, a House Event Officer in Noyes said, “Noise on Noyes is a great event. We opened up a space that allows people to interact with each other.” Slavin continued, “Look at the number of people in here. It really shows you how interconnected Noyes is.” Calder Beasley ’26, a student fellow in Noyes, seconded this emphasis on community. When asked to summarize Noise on Noyes, Beasley said, “Clothes, food, music and community.” Beasley emphasized Noyes’ tight-knit, passionate community and was excited to see so many people come together, even during inclement weather.

As implied by its name, Noise on Noyes is centered around live music performed by student bands, in or around Noyes House. Walt Schoen ’26, a member of the band Bedlam, said “We love playing and Noise on Noyes is a great event. We are bummed it’s not outside but we are excited that so many people from the community have

come together and will listen to us play.” Schoen added, “It’s also a great way to hear other student bands.” People were indeed appreciative of the music as there were students sitting in front of the music cheering on their friends, dancing in the Passion Pit (the circular couch area in the middle of the Jetsons Lounge) and spread out across the room mingling while listening to their peers perform. After each band performed, students were cheering in delight.

Though Noise on Noyes was initially created to foster an outdoor concert atmosphere, despite last minute changes, the Noyes House team did a phenomenal job keeping the event going. Slavin said, “We were going for the outdoor concert vibe but we had to improvise. This isn’t the worst thing in the world. It shows what you can do when you don’t give up when some adversity arises.” Slavin was correct. Though the event was meant to be outside, it seemed to run seamlessly in the Jetsons Lounge. As the event continued on, more and more students showed up for a good time. Beasley said, “It’s lit, it’s awesome and the bands

are inside. It’s Noise in Noyes!” Though the event did not play out the way the House Team initially thought it would, they were still quite happy with the outcome.

As a Noyes resident, I thoroughly enjoyed myself and felt proud to call myself a Noyesian. I am always in awe of the immense amount of talent that the student body is brimming with and am always thrilled by what people have to share. The bands were incredible and had me on my feet dancing. I also deeply appreciated the sense of community that Noise on Noyes provided. It was so much fun to have the Vassar community, both Noyes residents and beyond, come together in my home and enjoy each other’s company, music and, of course, clothes. Though people were bummed that the event was not outside, hats off to the House Team because they still put together an event that everyone could enjoy. Talia Yustein ’26 put it perfectly. “I love Vassar students’ adaptability. It isn’t what we planned but it’s beautiful,” she said. “We were able to turn it around and make something great.”

Kathryn Carvel Copy Staffer

Images courtesy of Calder Beasley ’26.

Image courtesy of Robert McGough.

FEATURES

Campus marvels at partial solar eclipse

to clear off my plate for Monday, and I let myself daydream about what a transformative experience I was about to have.

As everyone is well aware, there was a total solar eclipse across much of the United States on Monday, April 8. It was the last total solar eclipse the continental U.S. will see for another two decades. What’s more, its path led near Poughkeepsie—campus would get a 94 percent partial eclipse—and the path of totality was just a few hours’ drive away. For lots of us, the eclipse was hyped up as a life-changing or once-in-a-lifetime experience (never mind that we had one seven years ago) and in the days leading up to it, I, like many people, was excited.

I wanted to see the total eclipse, largely because of my crippling FOMO. I had heard amazing things about the experience—how day turns to night, how you can see the sun’s outer atmosphere, how otherworldly and out-of-body the whole thing can be. I had been told that there was a night-andday difference (no pun intended) between a total and partial eclipse—that even the 94 percent coverage we’d get would not be anything near the “real thing.” I would have to travel up to Burlington or Buffalo for that, though, and the logistics of that were complicated.

But some friends and I managed to scratch together a plan. We would make the four-hour trip up to Burlington, stop in a park or something like that, and marvel at the sky. Never mind that Mondays were my busiest days, and never mind that I had a giant paper due that night—I was not going to miss out. I emailed professors that I would be missing class, I worked diligently

But the night before, as I frantically tried to finish that paper, true disaster struck. The plans fell through. There was a miscommunication about our ride, and we did not actually have a vehicle to get us to Vermont.

I was crushed—I felt like I had missed out on the chance of a lifetime. I would have to be content with a measly 94 percent on campus. And I knew it wouldn’t be nearly the same as what Burlington would see. The sun would just get a little dimmer. And I would have to deal with that.

My fear of missing out thus realized, I did not feel like I was in a great position to enjoy what I still could of the eclipse. On Monday morning, I trudged across campus to go to the classes I had been set to miss, sheepishly explained to professors why I was able to make it to class after all, and brushed away any attempts by friends to get my mind off of it. Eventually, 3 p.m. rolled around. Down in the dumps, I came out to the quad.

I had never seen that many Vassar students outside in one place before: everyone lounging with friends, playing catch, setting up telescopes, lying in hammocks, laughing. It felt like every single person I had ever seen or met or interacted with before at Vassar, every campus celebrity and friend and enemy, were all sitting there together, wearing funny dark glasses, looking up at the sun like it was a TV show.

Looking through my glasses at the forming eclipse, it just felt uncanny—obviously, this is what one expects from an eclipse,

and yet all I could think was “how strange.” You could notice the gradual change as the sun and moon inched toward one another, the moon covering the sun to make the sun look like a moon. Still, though, without glasses, nothing looked different. For a while, aside from everyone’s funny ISO-certified shades, it was like we had picked a completely normal day to all come outside.

But then it got darker.

Not much darker, mind you, but enough to make a difference. The temperature dropped noticeably, and I put on the jacket I had lain out on the ground. I had read online that even a 99 percent eclipse was completely different from totality, and I suppose I had taken that to mean there wasn’t much to be excited for. But there was something profoundly strange about it—like someone had turned down the exposure on a photo, or like I was wearing invisible sunglasses. The sun was shining, but everything was dim. All I could do was to say to everyone around me: “Isn’t this weird?”

Things seemed to quiet down as the minutes rolled by. And at 3:25, one minute before maximum coverage, tentative applause broke out. The sun was just a sliver then. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath, the seconds slowly ticking away.

And then: 3:26 p.m., April 8, 2024. Maximum coverage. The magic moment.

Now everyone knew the cue. Everyone— all the hundreds of people gathered together—started clapping, not for anyone in particular. Scattered whoops and hollers broke out, too, everyone alternating between looking at the thin strip of sun in the sky and around at each other, in the dusk-like light of midday. What was happening felt

eerie, otherworldly, unbelievable. And yet, here we all were. We clapped for the sun like it was performing for us—which, in a sense, it was.

That’s what stuck out to me about this year’s eclipse, more than anything—how crazy, wondrous events like this pull us together in shared admiration. Beyond simply how incredible it is that we’re able to accurately predict eclipses decades and centuries in advance, the mere human desire to see the eclipse is so beautiful; how moved and affected we are by these moments of wonder and awe, and how, even on campus where we didn’t even get a full eclipse, everyone still got their silly glasses and their blankets and their friends all together to see something as simple as the moon passing in front of the sun.

(Fun fact—apparently it’s only by chance that the moon and the sun appear about the same size. The sun is about 400 times bigger than the moon, and it also happens to be about 400 times further away. The kind of eclipses we have are unique, then. Most planets don’t ever get to have them.)

If I had gone to Burlington, I am sure it would have been wonderful. I heard as much from a few friends who did go to see the total eclipse—one friend said it almost brought her to tears, even. But nowhere other than Vassar would I have been able to experience what I did—to see this familiar campus partially blocked out by the moon, to see hundreds of familiar faces looking together at the sky in this shared moment of wonder. 94 percent ended up being more than enough for me.

Then again, the next total eclipse is in Spain two summers from now, if anyone feels like coming with…

Noah Duncan Guest Columnist

Image courtesy of Parker Fairfield ’24.

HUMOR

Deece explains massive ‘Coffee’ sign indicating coffee-free area

De’Zabars ’26 stated.

This Wednesday, Vassar’s largest dining center released a statement explaining why they installed a permanent 15-foot coffee sign over an area that does not serve coffee. In order to match the “Gordon Commons” sign, they stated, the Deece has rebranded all of their stations with names no one calls them.

The Deece began this drastic change two weeks ago when they removed all mutual funds and capital investments from the Stocks station. But no one really noticed, despite the fact that all checking deposits had been replaced with oatmeal.

Next, the Deece approached Home and Oasis, removing all house-shaped structures from the former and several sandy outposts from the latter. But perhaps the most jarring revision of all was when they removed all frustrated Jewish grandmothers from the Deli. “Who would be there to complain that their slice of cheese wasn’t thin enough?” student Connoisseur

The Deece received major pushback when they completely removed the bricks from the Brick Oven. Over the span of three days, students furiously did absolutely nothing at all, having not paid attention to the change. “Vassar students are so engrossed in their phones,” Addick T. Id, Vassar’s Senior Vice President for Catching People on their Phones, stated. “We could rename the Deece to something wild, like Gordon Commons, and no one would really notice.”

In renaming the Brick Oven station, Deece staff members expressed frustration

that there wasn’t a shorter name for a tasty sliced pie of dough, sauce and cheese. We tried “Brick Oven,” “dough with sauce and cheese,” “sauce with dough and cheese,” “dough with cheese and sauce,” “cheese with sauce and dough” and “dough with cheese-coated sauce basting,” Deece namer Misty F. Iyed stated. “I wish we had just one word to explain the concept of ‘pizza.’” When it came time to install the “Coffee” sign over the non-coffee station, Deece engineers figured it would be as easy as pie (specifically the kind served there). But it turned out to be as difficult as cupcake. The sign took five hours to install. “We didn’t

think it would be hard,” Iyed stated. “It was supposed to be a piece of cake. But we got ourselves into a pickle.”

The Deece staff next approached the Root station and, after stating its name three times, began furiously expressing their support for the home team. “If they don’t win, it’s a shame,” Iyed helpfully added. After clarifying the number of strikes that would constitute an out at an antiquated game of ball, they finally approached The Farmer’s Table. As you may notice, the farmer has mysteriously vanished. Deece staff have instructed the community not to think about it too much.

Benjamin Savel Decaffeinated

Image courtesy of Benjamin Savel ’26.

HUMOR

Trying not to suck at intramural basketball

Nicholas Tillinghast Goes Hard In The Paint

I’ve been participating in a little social experiment called Vassar intramural basketball, and it’s been both very magical and awful. It’s like “Air Bud,” but without the dogs and just the basketball stuff (I don’t know many basketball movies). My team consists of me, my friend Vaughn and a bunch of people from frisbee who I sort of know. We excitedly took the court in our first game against a gang of competent-looking guys. It was the first five-onfive game I had played in maybe 10 years and it was clear that I had lost any Basketball IQ and ability I once had so long ago. Still, it was exhilarating running up and down the court, pretending like I was contributing. We proceeded to lose by 23 (Jordan!). I scored zero points and had the ball stolen from me twice.

In game two, our number of players was halved as we faced off against another crew of competent men. It was a scrappy, physical game where we lost once again but by a more manageable 16 points this time. I put up a similar stat line and played better defense, if defense means swatting your hands around frantically in front of the opponent. To that extent, I am getting better.

As I scanned the courts after game two, I had a stark realization. It was all men wallto-wall. I have never seen this many men on campus in one place. And all of them are somehow competent at basketball?! If you were to ask me before that day how

many men on campus could play basketball somewhat decently, I would have said ten at most, and that’s including the men’s basketball team.

I was also starting to see a troubling theme in my game. Yet again, despite a few shot attempts, I did not score a single basket. It reminded me of my old churchleague days back in elementary school, where we wore matching colorful t-shirts with an eagle gripping a basketball with its talons on them, which is how an eagle might play basketball. I went my whole first season without scoring until the last game. While the thrill of that final game was electric, the season-long wait was painful and it’s not something I want to repeat. That night, I had a vivid dream that I scored in an intramural game, which is something that winners do and not people that suck at basketball.

Over the phone, I told my mother that we scored 18 points in both of the first two games over the phone and she started laughing hysterically. And then kept laughing. She said it was like a churchleague scoreline. Parents are strange creatures. One second, they’re blindly supporting their basketball star kid, the next, they’re mercilessly making fun of them.

After game two, I found an interesting quirk in the IMLeagues website where you can vote for who you think the MVP of a particular game was. What’s even more interesting is that you can anonymously vote for yourself. So, in game two, you can clearly see on the website that I, Nicholas

Parents are strange creatures. One second, they’re blindly supporting their basketball star kid, the next, they’re mercilessly making fun of them.

Tillinghast, was the MVP of the second game. Sure, I scored zero points and my team lost, but I was still unanimously declared MVP (maybe in part because no one else voted).

While I still hadn’t scored, I realized that I hadn’t fouled anybody yet either, which I’ve noticed is something that good players do. Thus, along with scoring a basket, my goal in the game three was to foul somebody.

Before game three, I started to understand that a major part of playing intramural basketball is gathering enough people together so you can actually play a game and not have to forfeit. Before game three, practically the entire frisbee coalition was out because of a group meeting. This was pretty much our whole team, so I had to look for outside help. Enter my friend Mark, who grew up playing ball on the

streets of (the suburbs of) Chicago. This brought the team to the minimum five.

In game three, we faced off against a team that was 2-0 and had beaten one of the teams we had already lost to. While winning might not have seemed possible, moral victories were still within reach. Chicago Mark opened the scoring early with a three. I made some early shots too, but with no success. Later in the first half, I picked up the rebound and whipped the ball into the net from three feet out for two. It was an incredible feeling and a great relief to have scored. My friend Cole videoed the moment and I was shocked by how frantic my shooting motion had become: It was like a granny shot but if the ball was burning my hands. It was a miracle that I had scored a point at all.

Also, during the game, I fouled somebody! That being said, I still don’t know how fouls work. The guy clearly ran into me and the foul should have been called on them! Hey, maybe disputing fouls is pretty in-line with the pros though. Clearly the ref was blind and didn’t know the first thing about basketball. Ball don’t lie.

Chicago Mark, our free agent pick-up, reinvigorated our team. He ended up scoring 20 points as we finished with a season-high 34 points (and lost by 16 but whatever). He was clearly our best player by a long shot. A generational talent in the making and the key to our future success down the road. That night after the game, I went to the IMLeagues website to vote for MVP of the game and once again voted for myself.

Human torture approved at Vassar College

Cassandra Brook Columnist

Welcome one, welcome all. Today is the Ides of March for many young hopeful students in mathematics. Just last Friday, these students displayed bright, joyous countenances. They were fountains of youth and buckets of delight. They were often found mentioning happy topics like friends, family and a good day of Deece fries. But my friends, a mathematics midterm has stolen that previous joy from them. Now, these students are no longer feeling integreat, and we must hear their delirious calls and mourn their sanity, lost to nothing more than numbers.

That, my friends, is a poorly written eulogy I wrote for myself and my compatriots. We’ve spent the weekend battling this math midterm. We have suffered. Endured. Overcome? Not really. Did you know I used to know math? I could control math. Tell it what to do. Where to go. Give it relationship advice about its Xs and philosophical ad-

vice about its whos, whats and Ys. I was the conductor on a train to Happyville, and the only person on board was me. Math was my tool. I used it like a hammer and I was Bob the Builder in a bright yellow hat and stupid checkered shirt.

But math and I are frenemies now. It betrayed me. By just trying to derive, I have been derided by little numbers on a page. I’ve spent an entire weekend thinking about math and it’s driven me mad. If this is the nuthouse, I’m in it. My walls are made of almonds and I bought my table from Mr. Peanut’s factory. My closet’s chestnut, my brain’s roasting on an open fire, and I pecan’t do this anymore. Math has made me look like a dog in an ASPCA commercial with doleful eyes staring into a camera, begging to be saved. Or better yet, a bad attempt at an Oliver Twist-inspired all-youcan-eat restaurant commercial, where Oliver is played by a monotone middle-aged man who thinks that you certainly can have some more. You can have some more if you stop right into Endless Meats Burger Eats

right off the interstate right next to the biggest gas station in the entire state of Oklahoma. But seriously, I beg, could you spare just a dollar? Or a clone of me who is also smarter than me and a math genius? Could you genetically engineer me to be better? If we ignore every single bioethical issue and advance technology 100 years, I’ll harvest a smarter clone.

Math is simply too difficult now. It did me dirty. It did me the “before” photo from “Hoarders.” It did me no amount of OxiClean, no quantity of delicious TidePods, unfixable stain level dirty. It did me dirty like OJ Simpson’s dried-up blood glove and also his morality. He didn’t commit the murder, but hypothetically if he did, according to his own novel, “If I Did It: Confessions of the Killer,” he would have done it exactly how it was done. Rest in peace.

But there is no peace. Because math has taught me one horrifying reality of life: we must conform. Forget about a liberal arts education, forget about learning, even forget about thinking. Don’t think. Just fol-

low formulas. Don’t try to be inventive and use logic to get an answer. This isn’t “Shark Tank.” You’re not asking for $1,000,000 in exchange for 10 percent ownership of your SillyBandz knockoff, GoofyTies. You’re asking for an answer in exchange for hours of your time and a few off-pitch shrieks. Math is “1984.” It quite literally is. 1984 is a number. But also a mindset. We must all just submit ourselves to the hivemind. All our thoughts must buzz off because math stings.

It pains me. I think I’ll have to seek out an injury attorney, perhaps one with a good jingle that juxtaposes with its emotionless commercial. And when you flip on the TV, I’ll be there to testify about how good Holmes & Motts was when I got hit by math at a stop sign. And just as I fade away, you’ll see an ad for Endless Meats Burger Eats and realize it will only take you a few hours to get all-youcan-eat undercooked burgers. And just like my mathematical abilities prior to my midterm, you’ll totally desert me, leaving me feeling raw rather than well done.

Anna Kozloski/The Miscellany

ARIES

March 21 | April 19

TAURUS April 20 | May 20

GEMINI May 21 | June 20

CANCER June 21 | July 22

LEO July 23 | Aug. 22

VIRGO

Aug. 23 | Sept. 22

HUMOR

HOROSCOPES

Jordan Alch

Absolutely Cannot Read Tarot Cards

Focus on self-care this week. Take out the trash in your room. Rinse your toothpaste out of the sink. Vacuum your floor. Do some dusting. This is actually just me telling you to do some cleaning. It’s dusty out there.

Spice up your life this week! Might I suggest dressing up in your nicest outfit and walking just a little too close to tour groups while taking fake notes in a notebook? There’s nothing like doing something off-putting to keep life interesting.

I know finals are rapidly approaching, but I think now is the time for you to curb your caffeine addiction. How many cups of coffee are you drinking a day? Take that to zero. Quitting coffee cold turkey will surely get your blood pounding, especially in your head.

You really should get on planning your Founder’s Day costume. If you don’t finalize your outfit by the end of this week, then the weather will be bad on that fateful day. The entire fate of Founder’s Day 2024 rests in your hands. Do with that what you will.

Have you ever walked around the Blodgett Basement? I have. I have never seen a rat down there, though I’ve heard whisperings that there are many. Maybe that’s where Raymond’s Rat King came from. You should find him and ask. We all want to know.

I have a very important question for you: How many people from high school do you still follow on Instagram? Chances are that your answer is too many. Unfollow them! Protect your peace! It’s so worth it. You don’t need to see what the guy who sat behind you in calculus is doing now (spoiler alert: not much).

LIBRA Sept. 23 | Oct. 22

SCORPIO Oct. 23 | Nov. 21

Do something nice for yourself this week. Might I suggest online shopping? That is one of my favorite pastimes. You don’t have to buy anything—just looking is enough. If you happen to be brave enough to buy something, ship it to your house as a little surprise for yourself when you go home for the summer!

Have you checked your mailbox in the past week? How about the past month, or really at any point this school year? You should go do that; you never know what you’ll find! Maybe a vote-by-mail ballot, or perhaps a very old medical bill.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 | Dec. 21

Take extra caution around radiators this week. I know that it’s hot out, but I have been burned two separate times by radiators in Main these past two weeks: once in the kitchen and once in the bathroom. Neither of those places need to be uncomfortably warm. Why do they get that hot? That should probably be illegal.

CAPRICORN Dec. 22 | Jan. 19

Are you a victim of the pollen generated by the trees on this campus? Me too. Allergies are tough, but you are stronger; show the pollen who is boss. Rise above your allergic reaction. It will only take you down if you let it. I suggest putting pollen in your food as a little treat.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20 | Feb. 18

PISCES Feb. 19 | March 20

You should get into new kinds of music. What is stopping you from getting into some rancid EDM? Absolutely nothing, except maybe your dignity. I won’t judge you for your music taste; I get whiplash every time I put one of my playlists on shuffle.

Are all of the keys on your laptop working? Can you please help me fix mine? My “d” key (courtesy of copy-paste) isn’t working, an it’s getting harer to take notes in class and work on my final papers. I’m getting esperate.

VSA passes resolution resolution

Oliver Stewart Washington Outsider

At a heated legislative session last Sunday, the Vassar Student Association (VSA) narrowly passed a controversial resolution calling for a resolution to be passed at an unspecified future date. The resolution met with staunch opposition from opponents, who criticized it for its strong language and rigid framework. Despite this, the resolution— which stated in unequivocal terms that “the VSA may or may not, at the discretion of the Senate, adopt or not adopt a future resolution at such time as the VSA sees or does not see fit”—received the support of exactly 66 percent of senators and was officially adopted by the VSA.

The resolution, carefully crafted by the

VSA’s subcommittee on resolutions and subcommittees, sparked vigorous debate across campus in the weeks preceding the vote, with strongly held opinions on both sides. Those in the pro-resolution camp heralded its specificity and boldness, while those opposed called it “a dangerous precedent” and an example of legislative overreach by the VSA. Ultimately, however, the inspiring message and timeliness of the resolution won out, and its passage heralds an exciting new era for the VSA.

The VSA has now vested itself with the power to adopt another resolution in the future, should the resolutions subcommittee find it appropriate to do so. When and if this does become the case, constituents can expect a four-to-six-week timeframe for a framework to reach the Senate floor, with a further period of three weeks allocated for discussion

and amendments.

It is this hastiness that made the resolution such a flashpoint.

“Frankly, the VSA’s decision to pass a resolution allowing it to adopt a resolution at an unspecified time down the line strikes me as wildly irresponsible,” one member of the class of 2025 said. “In a sane and reasonable world, the VSA would pass a resolution allowing it to consider the possibility of resolving to adopt a third resolution after a waiting period of no less than three to seven business years.”

Although many members of the Vassar community shared these concerns, the resolution resolution has now passed the Senate and all agree that we have passed the point of no return. Once adopted, the resolution cannot be revoked—unless, that is, the VSA convenes an emergency subcommittee on

redactions and revocations, a move it is only permitted to make in times of drastic need.

Whether this unprecedented moment qualifies is up to the discretion of the VSA President. Should the President deem it necessary, a quorum of Senators can be convened to vote on the possibility of adopting a resolution allowing for the formation of a subcommittee to consider whether to form an emergency subcommittee.

It is this hastiness that made the resolution such a flashpoint.

Vassar needs a real student center

Britt Andrade Columnist

The solar eclipse was more than just an opportunity to witness the sun and the moon interact; it was also a glimpse of what the Vassar community should be like all the time. On April 8, the eclipse tracked across the sky and students gathered in droves across campus to witness it. We came together as a community in a way that is not common for the Vassar student body. Since the pandemic, social interactions on Vassar campus have been limited—first as a form of protection from COVID-19 and now because the expectation of social planning primarily falls on the student body.

Social centers at Vassar are small and limited to the dorms and affinity spaces, so community at Vassar can be restricted to where you live and how you identify. That can be fine; get in where you fit in, so to speak. I love the Vets Lounge. It is my home away from home at Vassar. There are study spaces, a cou-

ple of computers and a decently comfortable couch. It is a great social place for student veterans. It is, however, a closed space. I am not mad about that; I am 31 years old. Sometimes it is nice to have a place that feels more age-appropriate, but I wish that it was not the only social space that felt easily accessible on campus to me. And I am sure that I have non-student-veteran peers that wish they had similar social spaces to the Vets Lounge.

I do not live on campus so I rarely visit the dorms, and I am not on the meal plan so I am not in the Deece. Most of my friends I see are in my classes or walking across campus. Maybe I should have been more social throughout my time at Vassar and my perspectiveis an outlier to the general campus opinion, but also, maybe my outlier experience just made me more keenly aware of the limitations that Vassar’s social spaces possess. It is possible that the solar eclipse was a vision of Vassar’s past, one from before the pandemic. Maybe Vassar was a more social, community-oriented campus pre-pandemic. If it was, I hope that

returns.

Where is Vassar’s student center? Is it Main Building? A residential building that happens to hold campus activities, some tables and chairs, and lots of offices? The Vets Lounge is in the basement of Main. The LGBTQ Center and the Women’s Center are on the second floor. The ground floor has tables and chairs designed for students stopping for a bite to eat or meeting with a study group. The only purely social space in the building is The Mug, a space that is not even open 24/7, and the parlors, on the second floor.

This spring, Vassar is breaking ground on a new admissions building. I am sure that Vassar already has plans for every office space that will be moving to the new building, but I wonder if any of those spaces will be available for the social improvement of the student body. Could centralizing affinity spaces to the same building allow students to move more freely between them? Or would encouraging campus orgs to submit their meeting schedules to the campus activities calendar make

access to an org more accessible throughout the year?

A student center is the heartbeat of most college campuses. It allows for the centralization of student services and provides easily accessible social spaces for students, faculty and even alumni to engage within. Students should be able to intermingle with each other regardless of their major or their dorm assignment. Campus activities does a lot for this campus in terms of social events, as does the VSA and student organizations, but we could be doing more. Events do not need to be strictly academic to have value and many of the academic events thrive because of the social components they include.

I am about to graduate. This is my last spring at Vassar, but I will always want Vassar to improve itself for the sake of my peers and my community. Vassar needs a centralized student center because that is what its students deserve. In the post-COVID life, it is time for Vassar to be a community again, one that is accessible to all of its members.

Trump exploits his loyal followers

Soren Fischer Columnist

Donald Trump does not care about his followers—only himself. The transactional and one-sided relationship between Trump and his followers is exploitative. Those who do not support him already know this, but do his supporters? I would guess probably not, considering the extent of their enthusiasm. From storming the Capitol on Jan. 6 to buying his trading cards, the most radical of Trump’s political base have exhibited symptoms of a cult of personality. Trump controls the minds of his adherents, receives unquestioned praise and is portrayed as a gloriously heroic leader. This is “Trumpism.”

I do not wish to focus on the idiocracy of his base, but rather look into how Trump has exploited them to obtain power. If he assumes the presidency again next January, he could consolidate his power further by becoming a dictator “on day one.” He said this during a town hall event last December to close the southern border and expand oil drilling. But it would be fair to assume, based on his authoritarian rhetoric and tendencies, that Trump’s ability to seize power has dangerous implications if he becomes president again.

Trump capitalizes on a shared victimization of his loyalists, which results in collective narcissism. The “deep state,” a conspiracy theory that claims there are secret and unautho-

rized networks of members of the federal government working together to exercise power, is commonly referenced by Trump and his base when there is any resistance to his agenda. “They’re not after me, they’re after you. I just happen to be standing in the way, and I will always be standing in their way,” Trump said at a rally in Durham, New Hampshire, per C-Span. Visitors to his website are greeted with this same sentence. The fear-mongering of this language points to the collective victimhood against the opponents of “Trumpism.”

The shared psychosis of Trump and his “Trumpians” is laughable, yet terrifying nonetheless. It is the largest cult in the United States, followed closely by the Swifties. Yes, this is a joke, but I want to include it because of the conspiracies associated with Taylor Swift. Because of the cult-like following of Swift, and itstheir Democratic leanings, a 2023 survey from the Morning Consult found that an endorsement by Swift of President Joe Biden would pose a real threat to Trump. But Trump’s most loyal supporters will do whatever it takes to get him back as their president, or maybe even supreme leader when he centralizes authority, bolsters executive power and targets political dissidents. According to a poll by Monmouth University, almost threefourths of those who believe Swift is a part of an elaborate scheme to help Biden win the 2024 election also believe that the 2020 elec-

tion was fraudulent—something that Trump still convinces his supporters of, even four years later.

Trump has been leaning into authoritarian rhetoric throughout his campaign, emphasizing a desire to centralize authority, bolster executive power and target political dissidents. He has been engaging with the language of Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini with phrases like “vermin” when referring to political enemies and “poisoning the blood of our country” when referring to immigrants. This is what his supporters want to hear. Trump just wants votes, regardless of whether he is aware of what he is saying, and he is using these people to achieve his political goals.

Trump also financially exploits his base. Because of his criminality, he faces mounting legal bills, and what better way to make up some of that money than to ask for it from his loyalists? Trump has more memorabilia than most political figures, I think. Just the other day I came across a bobblehead called “The Trumpinator”—a play on “The Terminator.”

However, the most recent and notable lastditch money grab was the “God Bless The USA Bible.” In partnership with Lee Greenwood, Trump is selling not just any old ordinary Bible, but one with the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance and a handwritten chorus to the Bible’s namesake. All for the “low” price of $59.99—quite the bargain. It arrived

just in time for the profits to be spent on his personal and legal debts—definitely not on funding the campaign that is supposed to be about his followers.

According to The Washington Post, filings showed that Trump spent more than $55 million in donor money on legal fees. I am all for grassroots fundraising. However, using the funding from your loyal supporters who trust that you will act in their best interest, like investing it in the campaign, is financial exploitation. I sure would not want my hardearned dollars to be used for legal fees.

Nonetheless, a poll done by Ipsos shows that while a majority of Americans think Trump should go to trial before the 2024 presidential election, there is still a sharp divide across partisan lines. The majority of Republicans, and a considerable portion of Americans in general, believe that Trump’s legal quarrels are a hoax or that he is not guilty. Why is this? Because he told them so—like at a campaign rally in February when he claimed that the $355 million fraud fine was an “election interference ploy.” Whatever he tells them is the truth, and his word is final. Cult much? I think so.

Trump’s attempts to monetize his presidency and perpetuate his influence, even after leaving office, is bizarre. Despite mounting evidence of Trump’s financial exploitation and legal troubles, his loyalists’ steadfast support glorifies Trump as their savior.

Image Courtesy of Tori Kim ’25.

Miami Marlins disappoint once again

Nick Villamil Sports Editor

For nearly two decades, the Miami Marlins, formerly the Florida Marlins, have failed to make me care about baseball in South Florida—and not because of a lack of effort on my end. While I dragged my family to numerous games throughout my childhood, my hometown Major League Baseball team lacked what other South Florida teams had. The Miami Heat has starpower and championships. The Marlins have not won a World Series since 2003 and are still infamous for trading away players right before they blossom into stars. Even the Miami Hurricanes collegiate football and basketball programs were outdoing them with passionate pageantry from their fans and an occasional conference title for the Hurricanes men’s basketball side. Marlins Park, now named LoanDepot Park, is rarely at capacity. Its usually closed roof robs fans of gorgeous Miami night skies and the feel of summer baseball in the fresh air that draws fans to other ballparks across the country. Since winning the World Series in 2003, the Marlins have been abjectly disappointing. Such a reputation is one the team is now hard-pressed to escape and one that has caused me to distance myself as a fan. Last season, however, the usually-neglected Marlins gave me something to root for. I started paying attention around the All-Star break in July. The Marlins had managed to rattle off numerous impressive, hard-fought wins. Luis Arraez and Jorge Soler had been selected as All-Stars. So, I started paying more attention. I began watching Marlins games multiple times a week and found myself being pulled to professional baseball more than I ever had been. I knew the Marlins’ pitching was led by the 2022 National League C.Y. Young award winner Sandy Alcantara, but I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of talent that supported Alcantara in the Marlins’ pitching rotation. Eury Perez, only in his first

season in the big leagues, looked destined to one day win a C.Y. Young himself, as he dealt a wide variety of well-placed and high-velocity pitches that few opposing hitters seemed to get any kind of a read on. Jesus Luzardo—a homegrown Southern Floridian—and Braxton Garret were also having breakout seasons on the mound. In the bullpen, Andrew Nardi emerged as a stout setup man for Tanner Scott, who was also enjoying a breakout season as the Marlins’ closer. On the offensive side of the ball, Arraez was leading the league in batting average, while Soler flirted with a 40 home run season. The addition of Jake Burger and Josh Bell at the trade deadline had the Marlins offense producing more than it had in past years.

Inevitably, the team slumped immediately after the All-Star break and saw its lead in the Wild Card rankings rapidly vanish. Still, the Marlins managed to salvage their season and make the playoffs for only the fourth time in franchise history. It was not always pretty, but perhaps that is what made them so endearing to me as a newly interested fan. The 2023 Marlins were fun. They rallied in the ninth inning to win numerous crucial games. They won other important games on the back of their pitching. They even made their indoor park feel lively as their improved and persistent play motivated more fans to come watch them in-person. When their season ended in October, I was legitimately excited for the 2024 season to arrive. I even bought a jersey. The Marlins had brought me all the way back.

Sixteen games into the 2024 season, they have quickly crushed my hopes for their future. Maybe I should not have been surprised. The off-season saw the Marlins part ways with general manager Kim Ng, who had been largely responsible for the roster moves that had revitalized the Marlins. Ng was replaced with Peter Bendix, who hailed from the Tampa Bay Rays, an organization famed for winning on a low budget. Unsurprisingly but still

disappointingly, Bendix stayed true to form as the Marlins pinched pennies all off-season.

Jorge Soler signed a lucrative contract with the San Francisco Giants and the Marlins did effectively nothing to replace his production.

Sandy Alcantara was forced to receive Tommy-John surgery on his right elbow and was lost for the season. Still, I still foolishly had hope.

The Marlins opened their season at home against the Pittsburgh Pirates, who are a solid foe but far from elite. After starting the first

game with an onslaught of runs, the Marlins bullpen gave up the lead and the offense subsequently flatlined. Fifteen games after Opening Day, not much has changed. The Marlins are 3-13.

Before it even started, the Marlins 2024 season ended. My fandom has been forced into apathy. I still check their scores and tune in to catch the occasional couple of innings. I will even inform my friends of their rare wins with a bit of genuine excitement. I still hope for the future. For now, that is all I get to do.

Nick Villamil/The Miscellany News.

Image courtesy of Tori Kim ’25.

Brewers Ballin’: Wong named performer of the week

Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing. If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email nvillamil@vassar.edu.

Brewers Ballin’

Name: Jay Wong

Year: Senior

Team: Men’s tennis

Stats: Liberty League Performer for the Week

Quote: “This season marks the strongest team performance in my three years on VCMT—we have secured important ranked wins in California and have continued our strong performance in Liberty League play. My season personally, although I’ve faced ups and downs, the immense support and guidance from my teammates and Coach have been instrumental in enhancing my play and leadership as a captain, both on and off the court. As the season is coming to an end, I’m looking forward to the possibility of going far in the Liberty League championships with some of my closest friends at Vassar.”

Image courtesy of Jay Wong ’24.

The Miscellany Games

Category Match

In the word bank below, there are 16 words that belong to four categories. Each word belongs to only one category. You don’t know which words belong together, nor do you know what the categories are! Try to find similarities between them, and place them into four categories below. Answers (which words belong together, as well as the categories they belong to) will be revealed in next week’s issue. Have fun!

Example category:

1: Toyota Car Models COROLLA PRIUS TACOMA HIGHLANDER

By Sufana Noorwez

By Nicholas Tillinghast

“Stock Images”

By Sadie Keesbury and Carmen Skinder

“Sorry, I CANNOT come to your party tonight, even though I hear it will be SUPERB. I’m spending all night with STEWART LITTLE.” -E.B. White

WORD BANK

MONSTER SPEAK SWIFT

EVERYTHING 4 CHEEK

NEXT DANGEROUSLY DEPARTMENT WAY

WOMAN RENAISSANCE

STAR TRULY

FOLKLORE LION

WORD BANK

SNARE PILL TAG SLUMP

HIT JUNE RUT STINK

STEEL TOM STEAL FUNK

DOWNSWING HAND SOFTWARE RUNDOWN

Answers to last week’s puzzles:

“Mini”

By Felix MundyMancino

“Category Match”

By William Flachmeyer

Oscar-Winning Actresses:

STONE, LAWRENCE, FIELD, KELLY

Shades of Green: FOREST, SAGE, OLIVE, EMERALD

___ Worm: MEAL, BOOK, SAND, EAR

Imperial Units: FOOT, MILE, INCH, LEAGUE

The Miscellany Crossword